#Something something self perception
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But not green.
You know the song Mr. Jones? Yeah.
#Something something self perception#they love the image of the hero#But he doesn’t feel like a hero#With all the death he feels he’s caused#Can he be loved? Is he even worthy of it?#he feels trapped and disconnected and stuck and he doesn’t feel REAL#Amsjdjjsjsjsjsjjaajaj#Ferally running around my brain help#the line from the song#we all want something beautiful… man I wish I was beautiful#is another I wanted to add to the comic bc it also fits warriors.. maybe I’ll draw it sometime idk#Lu warriors#linked universe#Linked universe warriors#warriors linked universe#linkeduniverse#hryule warriors#Hyrule warriors link#bc this could be taken that way too#THANK MARGIN FOR THIS HER HYRULE WARRIORS LINK FUNDAMENTALLY CHANGED MY PERCEPTION OF THIS GUY#my art#linked universe fanart#Comic#A rare sighting of MY HANDS XD#Bc I used them as a reference lol#Also I know I’ve been posting art every day for like the last 2 weeks or smth#I have no patience#when I finish something I want to show the world XDDD#Tw blood#cw blood
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Wait you guys are actually buying Disney products I thought it was a joke
(READ TAGS FOR FULL CONTEXT Sorry it’s long dies
#Honestly I’m only bothered bc I feel partially responsible (WTF EGOMANIAC OVER HERE)#I know I can’t control other people’s spending habits and my own habits are. Less than ideal !!#But when I wanted to spread my love for Wreck it Ralph I didn’t want people to get that takeaway 😔#IMPORTANT NOTE ‼️It’s okay to express your love for something through buying official things !!! That DOESN’T make you a “bad person” !!!#Still ! I think we have to let ourselves feel bothered by things and we need to be more critical of exploitative companies#Of course I chose to watch inside out 2 with my mom in theaters so I’m not immune lmao. Also using amazon / Etsy … just as a whole#But if you need help finding Disney movies without supporting them please just ask me!! PLEASE don’t use Disney+ if you can avoid it#I know we are all capable of finding our fulfillment from better places. But sometimes it’s hard#Capitalism sucks and yet that’s how we are endlessly pressured to live :(#We’re all at different points in our lives. Sometimes self care involves consumerism#Be hopeful that it someday won’t have to#Txt#again I’m sorry if this comes off as horribly egotistical to even consider being single-handedly responsible for#Social media is bad …. numbers bad…. Distorts reality and your perception of yourself…..#Or as me trying to guilt trip people in any way. Genuinely do what makes you happy but WE CAN BE HAPPIER & HEALTHIER I KNOW WE CAN#Wreck it ralph#Rant#Also sorry I have huge beef with streaming services I don’t mean to enforce that on other people but also. Sharing my opinion
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bloodletting
summary: a budding god needs a place to test their new powers, and childe was always a little too eager to lose a fight... a match made in heaven!
word count: 1.7k
-> warnings : minor AQ spoilers ? just like, general gi plot.. fairly graphic depiction of blood + other injuries (might be classed as body horror???). generally obsessive tendencies (childe <--> you). i cannot stress this enough, reader is 110% a sadist.
-> gn reader (you/yours)
taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yuus3n || @esthelily || @turningfrogsgay || @cupandtea24 || @genshin-impacts-me || @chaoticfivesworld || @raaawwwr || @ryuryuryuyurboat || @undrxtxd || @rainswept || @wanderersqt || @rozz-eokkk
< masterlist >
power was not something that came easy. it was fought over, stolen, defended with teeth and claw, tides of blood shed just so one could have power over another. social, physical, financial; no matter the leverage it provided, power was hard won. to give someone power was to admit defeat, a certain death that tartaglia had learned and taught more than his fair share of times. nobody undeserving of power ever held onto it for long; it was an acknowledgement that you were better, that you deserved it, that you’d won. power was a fickle resource that childe would kill to keep, only ever laying down his blade for a precious few.
the tsaritsa, of course. his fellow harbingers, skilled both on and off-field, who themselves could rival the archons. his family, for whom he’d happily give the world.
and naturally, who would be more worthy to hold power than you?
you, not just a god but the, the highest authority across all of teyvat. you bore a hundred names and a thousand monikers, your worship the one thing the world could agree on. granted, nobody could quite agree on how, but that was fine. childe did not need external powers to tell him what to do. he knew, in his deepest heart, that he had gotten it right.
he knew—and, on occasion, flaunted—that he was your favorite. of all the vessels you had chosen, you returned to him time and time again, wishing on his stars until his vision gleamed. his bow shone with power, even his weakest weapon more than enough to push his strength to new heights. part of him wondered what he could do if you’d granted him swords, or a claymore… but that was speculation for another time. didn’t it say something that you had still chosen him at his weakest?
the thought always made him smile. thick in the heat of puppeteered battle, before the sun to after dark, your presence was a constant in his life. at every altar, with every offering, when his hands stung from the rash of leather and his blade was covered in rust, your name a prayer behind blood-soaked teeth. he could not remember a time when his pocket was not weighted with a charm.
his devotion was no secret. he wore your bow with pride, entirely phasing out his other weapons. it didn’t matter that he was technically more controlled with them, for you had chosen this path for him. your word was his guide, a polar star through bitter nights.
he did not doubt when your presence ebbed or flowed. who was he to dictate when or where you spent your attention? no, his faith did not waver. it had no reason to. he waited patiently, going about his regular duties, lingering in snezhnaya for no other reason that he just felt like he had to.
who was he to question to buzzing in the back of his head? who was he to decline when he felt an instinct to leave, to go for a trip far past the city gates? who was he to think himself better than the guiding light that had never led him astray?
for you, he was whatever you needed. and so he went, armed with a thick coat and snowboots, hands shoved deep in the pockets to hide the slight shake. down the main road, an arbitrary turn into an alley and down an abandoned path, into a part of the city he’d never traveled. but a golden thread had tied itself around his heart, pulling without hesitation. he easily hopped over the fence gate, not bothering with hauling it open through the snow. the path beyond was covered in a thick layer of powder, his foot crunching through a foot of it before hitting solid ground. still, he continued.
snezhnayan winters were not warm. they bit and dug into every gap in your clothes, stealing away the precious warmth within. and yet, with his half-done coat and incomplete guard, he was not cold. or, rather, he couldn’t feel it. his hands were pink with frost, stiff at the knuckles, but he couldn’t feel the resistance. his body was not important, not now.
the snow began to thin. it fell from his knees to his shins to his ankles to his toes, until he was face to face with a thick wall of bramble, impossibly overgrown. he was beginning to overheat in his jacket. twin blades made quick work of the wall, and the sight behind it easily dispelled any breath left in his lungs.
the air that washed out of the bubble was thick and heavy, like a humid spring instead of snezhnayan woods. his breath came in short gasps, a shameful wheeze that he hoped was missed beneath the howling snow. he didn’t want you to see him as weak, as someone so easily tired by a short trip to a falling star; he didn’t want you to think of him as anything other than his best.
but you didn’t push him away. you helped him up—his head was buzzing with delusion, he could hardly see, when had he fallen to his knees?—and brushed the snow off his hair, not pushing him away when he leaned into your touch. he couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, could barely collect himself enough to recognize that he needed to get you inside, away from the wilds.
that was power. to so effortlessly take over every thought in his head, to hold his mind in your hands and pull it into your liking, that was the power he adored you for. gods were figureheads of power, a physical incarnation of their dominion. a god of the entire world would only naturally have power to manipulate that world to their liking. how blessed was he, that he could be the first you made yours.
he was with you when you first stepped into zapolyarny palace, looking around at the chandeliers and fine tile. he opened the door for you to her majesty’s throne room, sucking in a sharp breath as you brushed by. he was by your side when the tsaritsa swore you her fealty, delicately placing the gnoses in your hands.
and oh, how he’d fallen to the floor right then and there, dizzy from the wash of power that rolled off you in waves, an ocean that he willingly dove into. the floor was cool beneath his forehead, his hair sticking to his skin as sweat quickly began to bead. he didn’t bother pushing himself up on his hands, teeth sinking deep into his lip again to control his panting breath. copper bloomed over his tongue, filling his mouth and clogging what remained of his senses.
dimly, he was aware that he was being pathetic, that this would surely change your mind about him. he heard your voice, faint through the fog of his mind, your wisdom lost to his own inadequacy. and yet, despite his weakness, every part of him was tuned into you. he knew it was your hand whispering across his shoulders, he knew it was your influence that stole the breath from his lungs. he knew it was you, because it was always you. you were all he could think of, and now you were finally able to leverage your full power over his self.
he’d woken up in a hospital bed. saline dripped into his arm and the lights pierced his eyes, his head full of snow and iced over. and yet, the moment he was cleared for release, he found himself desperate to be back to your side, racing through the tiled halls of the palace and following the urgent burn in his chest. you would have been right to turn him away, to deem him too weak to stay by your side, but you didn’t. you smiled when he lost his breath and laughed when he wavered, brushing off his concern. you invited him with you—his lungs burned with the need for oxygen—as you twirled the gnoses between your fingers, as if they were toys or paperweights rather than objects of divine power.
divine to him. child’s play to you. a courtyard of snow was cleared in an instant, ripples of pyro melting permafrost while keeping the flora beneath intact, a lazy show of power that pulled little more than a slight hum from you in response.
he wasn’t so much a fool as to think he could teach you everything, or even something, about being divine. and yet he clung to your side like a sailor in a storm, watching as you grew familiar with the elements. he watched, stubborn and weak, as you stopped hesitating.
flowers bloomed as you walked by, crumbling to ash with the slightest look. electro jumped from your skin to his, a painful spark that drew his mind from his head, finally seeing your amused eyes instead of just mindlessly staring. you could—should—have just left him behind, but you didn’t. you instead asked for his help, taking his hand in yours and leading him to a quieter hallway of the palace. you didn’t comment on his thundering pulse despite the fact that you could certainly feel it, tracing a finger along the crease of his palm.
“i wonder…”
a claw of geo cut across his skin, a sharp sting that quickly welled with blood. he barely felt it, watching with detached awe as it filled up his hand, sliding over the edge and dripping to the floor. you didn’t show any emotion, just… watching. his heart beat in his hands, a pool collecting on the floor, and still, you just watched. your other hand moved over the surface, barely an inch away, the blood collecting in a bubble beneath it. with a hum, your fist tightened, pain lighting up his arm. a strained grunt slipped between his teeth, hand flinching closed, brushing against the ball of his blood you had pulled from his veins. his hand was stained red, shaking in your grasp, minutes stretched into hours.
all at once, it dropped, forced back into his body as forcefully as it was removed. with a snap, the skin stitched itself shut, and you were again dragging him along like a child did their favorite toy.
you did that a lot. pull him aside and experiment with whatever new reaction you had discovered that month, week, day, hour, watching his reactions with unabashed delight. and he let you. every time, without fail, he eagerly followed, knowing full well he’d end up rigid with lightning or with ice crystals studding his throat. it was worth it, though. you always fixed him up, squeezing his hand with a whispered ‘good job’ that never failed to make him dizzy.
it didn’t matter what you did to him. it never did. even when his mind was hazy with pain and he couldn’t quite stand on his own, he never regretted it. unconsciousness licked at the edges of his vision, burning black stains that lingered even after you stopped, but he never once hesitated.
if you asked him to jump, he’d ask how high. if you felt like holding him underwater, he’d cherish every bruise. to be kept as a toy was still to be kept.
#THIS WAS MEANT TO BE A REPLY TO AN ASK. UH. SORRY AVATAR ANON ...#genshin#genshin impact#genshin sagau#sagau#self aware genshin#genshin x reader#gender neutral reader#sagau childe#yandere childe#childe x reader#x reader#yandere tartaglia#sagau tartaglia#< do people even use the 'tartaglia' tags? oh well#yandere sagau#blood tw#tw blood#< for good measure#ah yes my favorite genre. 'you're both unwell and need to be quarantined for the good of society'#hes so. rat coded im in love with him#sorry for fatui posting. it Will happen again#sorry for yan posting. it /Will/ happen again#like seriously the next few ideas ive got are all about unwell men#i dont know if id count this as obsessive but its certainly A form of lovesickness#but i feel when people read 'yandere' they think of something else than i do#and for That perception then 'obsessive' fits better#i will be flagging this with the yan warning on my masterlist#childe ajax tartaglia my favorite chew toy <333#hes so fun to beat up i wanna make him cry about it. i mean what who said that
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And when OPLA calls back to Zeff telling the crew to read stories to Zoro so he can hear their voices and recover faster, by having Sanji sit by his bedside on Thriller Bark and read him a book about the All Blue. What will you do then?
#literally the scene of Nami reading Zoro Noland’s book at the Baratie is my favorite addition#cause East Blue Nami is so damn prideful so seeing her do something that seems silly-#(reading to someone who isn’t listening)#-is such a fun way to mark her progress as a character#I can see her being the one to remind Sanji of Zeff’s advice and the act of reading to Zoro being a way to process the sort of.#hit to his pride and even self-perception that is Zoro’s interference in Thriller Bark.#why did Zoro stop him? Why would Zoro want to die in his place? Choose his dream instead of his own?#(maybe because he knew that sitting by your friend’s still body- helpless- is the worst feeling in the world)#Aside from this though I can specifically see the book being about the All Blue working#cause its a reminder about what a wonderful dream Sanji has. It’s a way to regain vigor and the willingness to fight for it#after having just tried to discard it in the face of Kuma moments prior. Specially know that he knows Zoro is fighting for it too#matt owens are you out there. please#opla#one piece#roronoa zoro#blackleg sanji#opla spoilers#for like future seasons that may or may not even happen#my post#zosan
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DIRK: Oh, y-
DIRK: Yeah.
DIRK: Man.
DIRK: This is some fucked up shit alright.
DAVE: i know
#crying screaming throwing up thinking about dave and dirks fucked up relationship#homestuck#dave strider#dirk strider#homestuck panel redraw#page 7763 for reference lol#knight of time#prince of heart#something something about both their aspects being linked with identity yet their perceptions of self are comeplete opposites
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You know, it's funny how Sylus is very casual and nonchalant about people robbing him, but he gets highly offended if you think he's poor (spend only $1 million).
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#lnds ramblings#oh to be a stupidly rich person with skewed priorities#wait#unless he grew up in extreme poverty and was ridiculed and demeaned for it#and developed some sort of complex about it#which would be kind of weird since he has also mentioned how other people's perception of you shouldn't matter or impact your self-esteem#✨️unless✨️#this was something he had personally learned to overcome#am i just brainrotting a little too hard#mayhaps#i've been in a weird mindset the last couple of days#😔
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one of the fun things to do when writing Duke pov is that he lies to himself, and sometimes that makes him a huge fucking hypocrite. Duke will tell it like it is to every single person around him and then tell himself the sky is green. He is honest and truthful except in his own head lmao
Dude will 100% tell a teammate to take a rest take a break their over working themselves and then just take up their slack like he wasn't already holding the earth, the moon, and also maybe pluto on his shoulders
#batfam#duke thomas#bread talk#yall are more than free to disagree with me this is just my reading#dude will overwork himself cause who else is going to do it#and that is something we talk a lot about in duke fan circles i know but i love it so much#also i think for some parts duke Knows that he's lying to himself#he's extremely self perceptive and he has his own personality picked apart in boxes However he is still going to do it#someone get this kid some fucking sleep PLEASE
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Quick piece of @luluyamofficial 's character Lucelia + a 30 second speedpaint!
#my art#digital art#gift art#artists on tumblr#i hope you dont mind being mentioned!#stretches#anyway theres something that clicks in me with these characters#It feels tricky to describe#Because these characters are so personal and symbolic to the artist and I've only recently begun looking into them#I cant claim to fully know and understand them#I feel some sort of odd way saying something like that#but I do love is seeing this way of expression through characters that align in ways that are similar to how I operate with my own#These stories and characters crafted to be reflective of the artist's life and experiences and self perception#I love to see these little pieces- the glimpses of understanding for whats being conveyed#I love understanding and there are things I believe I do understand in some ways as they pertain to mental health and the relationship#to the self#but Understanding is secondary to enjoying seeing the expression of lived experience#coughs#anywhey. i hope you like the piece!#I've been turning these guys around in my head for a few days and have felt compelled to show appreciation for what I see#the general genre and type of work isnt what I've found myself drawn to in the past so ive been enjoying the Brain Expansion#bugs#roaches#cockroaches
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AM I A REAL BOY?
#dc#kon el#superboy#painting from a few months back? or so#went in w an acrylic pen more recently for the lines#something something existentialism and the abstraction of self identity and the despair of perception#dennis doodles
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There are genuinely people online that instead of actually bringing people to the left, at this point, would prefer that anyone who was previously not on the left but who tries to be *stays* outside of the left, because i guess its just easier to comprehend when the world is put into little shitty boxes you labeled for them instead of actually thinking for once and having the nuance to understand them. Like thats wild to me that theres people who would prefer you not be on the left or not try to be. Yall GENUINELY do not care about advocating for your side politically in any capacity. Its LITERALLY just a clique you've found yourself in. And theres nothing progressive about that or being exclusive, wtf do you think this shit is, a night club? Grow the fuck up, honestly.
#A whole lot easier to consistently point and laugh at the same person than to ever encourage them to change i guess#yall are weak#Yall wont get us anywhere and actively hurt progressive causes#And the worst part is most of the ppl like this are on tumblr and a lot of the people on tumblr absolutely suck as human beings#and never want to do anything about it either partially because they think theyre above any form of therapy 🙄#Idk. maybe its a comfort thing. Like things have to be exactly how they remembered them the day before or else they'll idk lose their mind#Like some of yall would prefer the world stays black and white and thats sad#Lets be honest. What it really is is you dont want to have to feel any potential guilt for treating someone as if theyre just#discardable trash when they werent.#Bc ur just oooohhh soooo perfeccctttt and it just fucks with your self perception when someone even inadvertently suggests#you did something wrong lmao.#yall wont survive in this world
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(dress ref)
there's aus where u try to recreate the "effect" of a character's personality and behavior through an alternative "cause", and then there's this shit where i Just think umm well personally wolfwood being down to kill for vash is hot and it's a bummer vash doesn't think so too, but what if an au where he does ?
it's not a true "villain" vash au, basically it goes that vash decided to stick it out with knives in the hopes he could mitigate the damage knives planned to do to mankind, and it's worked for the most part-- at the expense of vash taking on much of knives' ire himself. this vash is even more isolated than in canon, unable to meet the standard knives enforces for what a god is supposed to look like, and constantly concerned with appeasing knives: dressing and styling his hair in a way that doesn't annoy him, talking very little, always offering compromises that put himself at a disadvantage
it's a wholly bad deal, up until the eye (yeah i'm blending stuff from other triguns in even tho it's a 98 au lol) offer vash their latest up-and-coming disciple to protect and serve him directly, though the "protecting" thing ends up being extremely mutual. wolfwood is the first bright spot in vash's life in a hundred years, and he's not going to allow anybody to take that away
#trigun#trigun anime#trigun fanart#vash#vash the stampede#wolfwood#nicholas d. wolfwood#vashwood#shared devotions au#<- in case i ever draw it again lol. it's an abba reference cuz abba is delightful villain music fhdhdjdj#literally my motivations here was just. i wanna see a situation where wolfwood has to do something fucked up for vash#and instead of vash proselytizing and projecting his trauma at him vash is like. Oh. you really do care for me don't you.#and EQUALLY AS MUCH SO i need vash covered in someone else's blood having thrashed a fucker for getting near wolfwood fhdhdjdjjs#wolfwood can have a lil religious moment realizing how much this traumatized godthing loves him. as little a treat.#love drawing vash's hair all fucked up as a visual representation of his decaying mental state dhfkgdkf#also love vash and knives' opposing color schemes and what you could interpret about their self-perceptions from that alone <3
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yknow i kinda think u guys just think ppl who use tiktok are stupid
#venus.txt#be real. the biggest unique problems i see there are self-directed fatphobia disguised as 'being healthy' and how the aggressively#algorithmic nature of the app affects peoples perception of real life#and a good bit of overconsumption (but most of what ends up on my fyp related to that is ppl denouncing it)#people arent like. illiterate and unfunny and inconsiderate and mean and brain dead by default#just because they use an extremely popular social media app#obviously i cant (and wouldnt try to) speak for the entire userbase. its called a 'for you page' for a reason#but i dont think its fair to look at the problems something has and think#'everyone who uses that is lesser than me. im too smart to fall into that trap'#some comparisons that come to mind are cults and propaganda. you are not immune (to the algorithm)
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i cant quite put my finger on what exactly it is yet, but the master and the doctor have some kind of insane energy as a pairing that attracts gay people specifically
#its me im gay people#show me one straight thoschei fan. i’ll wait#something something queer longing and destruction of the perception of the self etc etc#truly dont know how to put it into words just yet. thoschei is so complex#thoschei#doctor who#the doctor#the master#dw text#they make me insane#the only Real enemies to lovers pairing ive seen in popular media in recent memory
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people who think Blue isn’t a realistic teenage girl don’t know what they’re talking about because her internal monologuing about how much she likes the idea of being a badass superhero with a pink switchblade but the practical part of her feels she’ll definitely cut herself with it is just So real
#(also if she wasn’t realistic it might not necessarily be a quality defect by I digress)#s speaks#s rereads the dream thieves#trc reread notes#trc#blue sargent#there’s this article I read about Skins ages ago that said something about Effy being not a realistic ‘person’ but a realistic/relatable#portrayal of how teenage girls feel or their self perception. So I think there’s something to be said there about Blue and other chars who#get discussed along those lines
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To be engulfed in silence
In your gaze where I’m seen
#SICK IN THE HEAD#AHGdevkjasdvvkuySdvybU#ivan is such an intresting case bc you can definitely see he’s completely devoted to Till but never in the way you expect devotion#like#he couldve left#he couldve won#he couldve just never interacted#but insted he follows and saves him when he doesn’t want to be saved#all while being a little freak#thats the main thing- he def is a freak.#the only time you see him relating something of his to another is with sua and his perception of mizisua in contrast to his w till#part of me thinks that Ivan feels as if making the sacrifices are worth it if someone will see him as his true self (freak)#anyway#so long#yaoi king the third#ivantill#alien stage ivan#alien stage#alst ivan#alst#alien stage cure
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it’s always, to leland, about asking what he can do. how he can help. how he can ‘deserve’ the time of day from people. he is pathologically and often subconsciously prepared to bend over backwards to people-please. in dangerous situations he is your paladin-coded dumbass, he is your shield. he’ll even be your weapon, if that’s what you ask him to be. he’ll bleed for you and he’ll devote himself to the ones he loves if they let him. he’s naturally mutable, naturally easy to influence. naturally happy to take on the role of supporting and facilitating someone else. he jumps at the chance to be needed bc he struggles most of the time over whether he’s wanted.
#it’s not that he lacks his own like… strong presence. it’s not like he lacks that magnetism that draws people to him#it’s just his self-perception. he doesn’t see what anyone else sees#and all the people closest to him have done nothing to make him feel Unwanted. he just thinks he’s done something wrong usually#everyone expects the golden boy to want the attention and the praise and the spotlight#he rly just very quietly wants the validation from the people he cares for. and tries really hard to be worthy of it
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