#but like sure go off then! i know a lot of stuff i write is very easily read either way and i kinda like it like that

[munsonsmixtapes]

hello! if you have the time could you please write soft Eddie guiding a shy reader when they make out for the first time?

There's a knock on Eddie's door and he hurries to answer it, hoping it's who he thinks it is. He isn't expecting anyone else, but it's not uncommon for people to show up looking to buy from him, but he really hopes it's you. He's been looking forward to tonight for over a week since you suggested it. He opens the door and there you are, beautiful as ever.

He steps aside and you plant a soft kiss on his cheek as you enter the trailer. You hold out a DVD and a few of Eddie's favorite snacks and he can't help but smile at how sweet you are. You've only been on a few dates and hopes he wouldn't scare you off if he proposed. Because if he's being honest, he can't see himself with anyone else.

No one he's dated has ever been so sweet to him. All they seemed to be interested in was using him for his body and rarely anything else. He wasn't really known as Eddie "the freak" Munson (well, maybe in other ways) anymore, but it still seemed like people didn't want anything else from him besides drugs or sex.

But you? All you seem to want from him is his company, genuinely interested in all of his fun facts that he has about random subjects and you even laugh at his jokes. And they aren't pity laughs either. You're a breath of fresh air and he hopes you'll stick around forever.

"You didn't have to do all this," he tells you with a smile as he takes the stuff from you. You're staring down at the floor and he can tell you're getting shy on him again. He doesn't mind, though. He thinks it's cute.

"Of course I did," you insist. "I wanted to treat you for once," you then smile and Eddie never gets tired of seeing it.

"Well I'm not going to say no to that," he responds then takes you by the hand, threading his fingers through yours. "Now c'mon."

You follow him over to the couch and the two of you sit together, but you make sure to leave a little space to be polite. You want to be cuddled up into his side, though. You want rest your head on his chest as his hand lazily runs up and down your back.

A lot of the people you've out with all seemed to be after one thing so it warms your heart that Eddie is willing to go at your pace. He always waits for you to initiate things like hugs or kisses and waits until you pull away, never asking for more. He's nothing but a gentleman and you really like spending time with him.

Eddie spreads out all of the movies you brought, his eyebrows quirking at the variety. You seem to have an eclectic taste and he admires that. He plucks the horror movie from the selection and heads over to the VCR. As soon as his back is turned, you begin to panic. You had only brought the movie to give you excuse to get close to him because of the scary scenes, but now you're beginning to regret your decision.

Eddie turns back to you and you try to hide your fear, debating on telling him that you'd rather watch something else, but you can't yourself to form the words. So you just sit in silence as Eddie moves back over to the couch, sitting even closer to you now and your fear takes over as you throw yourself into his arms.

Eddie lets out a laugh at your eagerness but he wraps his arms around you anyway, pulling you even closer to him as he turns his head towards the screen. You instantly feel better knowing that he'll keep you safe but can't help but think about what Steve told you when he rented the movie out to you.

He told you that it was the scariest movie he'd ever seen and that he couldn't sleep for days afterwards. And you rented it anyway even though he had suggested many more options that weren't nearly as scary and would still help you get into Eddie's arms despite how silly he thought the idea was.

The movie hasn't even started and you're already burying your head into his chest, gripping his shirt in your fists as tight as possible. His hand moves up to stroke the back of your head as he murmurs something to you that you can't quite hear.

"Hey, hey," he says as grabs hold of your face, forcing you to look him in the eye. His are nothing but soft as they look at you, his eyebrows knitting together in concern. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," you shake your head, suddenly feeling silly for how scared you just were. "It's nothing."

"We don't have to watch the movie," he tells you. "If you were scared, why didn't you say something?" It's a fair question, but you stay silent, not wanting to tell him the truth.

"I-" you start to say but cut yourself off, not wanting to admit the truth nor finding the right words to use.

"You what, honey?" He asks, his hands moving up and down your back exactly the way you wanted him to. Sometimes you're convinced he's a mind reader.

"I just wanted an excuse to cuddle you," you tell him, your voice so soft he almost didn't hear you. And at that, Eddie lets out a laugh before pulling you to his chest, giving you a tight squeeze. You have to remind yourself that he's not laughing at you, but because of you.

"You could have just cuddled me," he says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world and it is. Well, it should be, but you've always found it hard to voice what you want no matter how badly you want it.

"How about we call off the movie for now?" He asks and turns off the TV then pulls you closer to him, his hands still moving up and down your back. You look up at him as he licks his lips, now unable to think about anything but how inviting they look.

The two of you have kissed multiple times, but it's never gone any farther than little pecks here and there because you've been too afraid to do any more than that. But now you feel the need to go all the way, wondering what he tastes like, if his hair is as soft as it looks.

But you've never made out with anyone and that scares you. Even though you know for sure that Eddie would talk you through it, the whole thing still makes you feel nervous. But apparently not nervous to forget it completely because before you can stop yourself, you're looking up at Eddie, gulping before getting his attention.

"Eddie?" You ask and his head turns to you, those honey eyes boring into yours. You melt under his gaze but trying to muster up the confidence again.

"Hm?" He asks, that stupid smirk making its way upon his face, the same one that's always there when he looks at you.

"Can-" you cut yourself off for the second time tonight but Eddie just sits there, patient as ever as he waits for you to speak. He knows how hard it can get sometimes for you to speak your mind so he doesn't mind waiting for you to finish your thoughts. "Can I have a kiss?"

"Of course you can," he responds, taking your face in his hands and pecking your lips once, twice, three times before pulling away only for you to grumble in response.

"No," you shake your head. "I want a real kiss."

"Oh," he replies, wondering what made you decide on that, but wanting to oblige. He's willing to give you whatever you ask.

His hands move down to neck, his thumbs rubbing back and forth across your jaw as he leans in again, his lips slowly capturing yours as they move together slowly. He's nothing but gentle as he kisses you, showing you how it's done.

Your hands press against his chest and all you can think about how you can't believe you've gone so long without his lips attached to yours. They're nothing but soft and gentle and now you're sure that you can do this for hours.

Eddie breaks away before you're ready and you're breathing hard as you try to catch your breath. He stares down, a chuckle falling from his lips as he presses his forehead to yours.

"You're supposed breathe, baby," he tells you softly and you feel your cheeks heat.

"Can we try that again?" You ask as you pick up one of his curls, twirling it around your pointer finger, staring down at it as you speak again. "Do you think we could...make out? I promise to breathe this time."

"Oh, honey," he sighs before pressing a kiss to you lips. "I'd love to make out with you." Another and another until he's capturing your lips again, taking the lead again. You have no idea what you're doing but Eddie is being nothing but a sweetheart as he guides you through it.

He pulls away again and you whine this time at the absence of his lips, chasing him and getting in another quick kiss before you sit back, waiting for him.

"Do you want to sit in my lap?" He suggests. "I think that'll be more comfortable for you."

Eddie sits with his back against the couch and you do as he suggests and straddle his waist which feels foreign to you but he's right. It's much more comfortable. Your arms wrap around his neck as his rest on the small of your back, a good spot between your waist and upper back because this is just kissing and he doesn't want to give you the impression that he's going to go any farther.

"You kiss me now," he says and your heart races in your chest as you think about fucking it all up.

"Are you sure?" You ask, bringing your bottom lip between your teeth, nibbling on it as you contemplate.

"Positive," he nods. "You've got this. Do whatever you want, baby. This is all about you."

"Okay," you nod, leaning forward and slotting your lips just like he did, Eddie immediately responding to you but he's moving at your pace instead of leading like he previously had.

You remember to breath through your nose as your fingers thread into his hair on each side of his head. His hair is normally off limits because people get too rough with it, but with you, he doesn't care. In fact, he loves when you play with his hair, a little bit of love sprinkles into every touch of it.

"You're doing so good, honey," he murmurs against your lips. "Do you want to try sticking your tongue in my mouth?"

"Please," you whine with a yank of his hair and if you can feel his cock hardening underneath you, you don't say anything. And thank god for that.

"Do you want me to show you first?"

"Yes," you breath against his lips and he's getting even more hard, knowing that he's going to have to get himself off later because there's no way he's going to expect you to go all the way right now.

Eddie captures your lips again as his hands rest against your waist, landing on the strip of skin where your shirt has ridden up. His lips are moving against you to warm you up and then he gingerly flicks his tongue against your bottom lip.

"Open up," he commands against your lips and you do as he says, opening up for him as he slides his tongue into your mouth. He swirls his tongue around yours and you mimic his actions, tugging on his hair as a moan falls from your lips at the feeling of his tongue moving with yours.

Your eyes widen and you can't help but pull away as you suddenly feel embarrassed at the sound you've just made. Eddie, though? Eddie's convinced that's the hottest thing he's ever heard and he really wants you to make it again.

"You don't have to be embarrassed," he says quickly, trying his best to assure you. "It was really hot, actually."

"It was?"

"Definitely," he nods. "Would it help if you made me moan too?" All you can do is nod and before he can say anything else, your lips are on his, only a few seconds passing before your tongue is flicking against his bottom lip. He opens up immediately and you mimic what he just showed you, your tongue swirling around his as you pulling on his hair even harder, a loud moan falling from his lips.

You haven't thought about it until now since you were so caught up in his kisses, but you're soaking wet between your legs and if you had more confidence, you'd ask Eddie to take care of you, but you don't so you don't. You don't think you're ready for that right now anyway.

You try to focus on the taste of him to get your mind off of it. He tastes like cigarettes that you know he smoked before you came over and you don't know why but you can't get enough of it. It's intoxicating.

You stay like that for a while until your lips are kiss bitten and your legs are asleep from you straddling him for too long. You both decide to call it a night and Eddie walks you to your car like the gentleman he is, kissing you one more time before you drive away. He then goes back inside and heads to his room where he collapses onto his bed, deciding that he's probably (definitely) in love with you.

[bookish-bogwitch]

2024 Fandom in Review

Look I know it's been 2025 for five days now but has it, really? In the few days before NYD I saw all your wonderful retrospective posts while feverishly finishing the last chapter of Basil Pitch's Diary and thinking "wow that looks so fun must keep writing," so here we are. Also, are the earth's rotations not a construct of capitalism? Think about it.

I'm not sure how to calculate words written, because I posted a lot of stuff that I wrote before 2024. If you include everything I *posted* in 2024, it's 4 fics, totaling 56k:

Simon Snow and the Selkies Four (3k, T, for the Carry On Picture Book, featuring gorgeous art by @ionlydrinkhotwater and @technetiumai)

Basil Pitch's Diary (WIP, 11/14, 56k, T).

The Stag Party (WIP, 1/4, 1k, T, for @facewithoutheart's birthday.)

Into Her Arms (7k, T, for @ivelovedhimthroughworse's birthday, co-written with the fabulous @cutestkilla)

The entire picture book fic was written in 2022, though, and the first seven chapters of BPD were written in 2022-2023, so if you look only at what I wrote this year, it's more like 3 fics totaling 33k.

I feel like these numbers are very low compared with most people who posted these kinds of roundups--I see you out there beating yourselves with "only" 100k--but I'm honestly feeling pretty chuffed about it. And chuffed about feeling chuffed, if that makes any sense, because historically, going easy on myself has not been a strong suit.

It would be a lie to pretend I'm any less thirsty for external validation than ever. Part of why I'm feeling content about my word count is because I've been showered in love and support, by readers in general and especially in the form of Bunbaz art by Skee, Ashton, Dalia, Monica (and Monica, and Monica). Oh, and there was also @rimeswithpurple getting him tattooed on her fuckin' body. (He now has gray fur and black ears, btw, but I don't think that version is on tumblr dot com yet.) Whenever I feel imposter syndrome creeping up I look at and/or squeeze the Bunbazzes, and feel better. Thank you all for being such a supportive, steadfast, loving community.

In other ways it's been a bumper year for fandom. I got to meet many of you at SSCONe, and otherwise visited with fandom friends in four cities and two countries. I brought Tiny Baz to Sicily to learn about his roots (and to keep me company when I got COVID and had to cross a lot off my itinerary). I also got my hands on a full-size Baz standee who is still folded up in my closet (I KNOW) but who I vow will be out and proud by this time next year.

Anyway, 2024 was pretty good for me personally even though American democracy, such as it is, is in free-fall, and no matter what 2025 brings, you'll be the best part of it.

A tardy thank you to for tagging me to @emeryhall @monbons @forabeatofadrum @rimeswithpurple @nausikaaa

@ileadacharmedlife @prettygoododds @artsyunderstudy @alexalexinii @best--dress

@j-nipper-95 @stitchyqueer @roomwithanopenfire @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @skeedelvee

@mooncello @whatevertheweather @aristocratic-otter @thewholelemon

It's so not New Years anymore so I'm not like, tagging tagging you, but if @cutestkilla @facewithoutheart @shrekgogurt @ebbpettier or @ic3que3n, or you reading this would like to toot your own 2024 horn, I beg you to toot away.

[blossoms-phan]

✨philm club✨ rewatch - october 19th, 2015

liveshow - notes/thought yaps under the cut!

i love how they’re explaining how they do their individual liveshows to each other like im not saying they were just sat in the other room twice a week watching the other persons liveshow but like surely you have some idea of how it usually goes lmao

“im quite mellow today we’ve been in a car for a while” phil does seem like he has more mellow/chill energy in this one i imagine they were tired but also so go go go at this point resting for a second would only slow them down more

6 year friendiversary and dinof anniversary! It's so insane to me that it was only 6 years atp like this dnp was not too long after i became obsessed with them and i blinked and now its 15 years

dan “reassess your lives” and phil “i think you should be thanking them”- i think this is fascinating and ties into how today dan still automatically goes “im so sorry” when people say i've been watching you for x years and it makes us all want to shake him by the shoulders and say don't apologize silly man!!!!!!!!! take the compliment we mean it with love!!!!!!

dan exposing his ass to audience in leeds and years later during wad great stuff 

phil smacking his head on stage wow some things really don't change 

“calm down” in a silly voice from dan always reminds me of the cLaM dOWN airplane northern voice live clip 

i haven’t rewatched a liveshow in so long so much hair adjusting 

they sound so british sometimes 

“dan do you know what yaoi is” this is so funny to me you are asking the poster boy for yaoi day in 2024

looking at pics of p!atd on tumblr COME BACK TO ME TUMBLRINAA they r right btw i love pretty odd 

“dan choke me with your legs” why r u reading that. whore. see in 2015 knowing that a literal child probably said this its kinda cringe but also me with sister daniel and like all the Thigh in general these days so who am i to speak

“i like being remembered because that doesnt happen often with the celebrity folks”  :( this is sweet i know this time was A Lot and in general the radio stuff wasn't for them in the end and they appreciate that it was cool and fun but dan also mentioned how it was annoying to just be brushed off or being in a position where you're just forced to chase after all these big named people that dgaf about you but its just nice to see they noticed when they were remembered and the 1975 mention i could write an essay about 2018 dan and the album abiior

phil stopped the bus for fish and chips hehe i literally had fish and chips today this is cray. i hope they actually had them for dinner this day i would love to have a parasocial fish and chip night with them

you are pal creators :’) 

editing tips mention they are so unserious 

i am so emotionally attached to the london apartment but referring to it as “the house” when they have an actual House now is really getting to me 

aww talking about tabinof :’( i cant remember if i've talked about this before but there was hugee “drama” back in the day when it was first announced of people accusing them of selling out or some dumb shit when this wasn't another copycat youtuber ghostwritten book they poured their hearts into it as silly and fun as it was and the way dan talks about it really shows that i hope they were proud of it and still are

dan you don't really have the same hair but ok 

talking about the australian today show and they were just on it last month!! why does that make me so emo 

bitten right on the florida

bakeee offfff mention this is why i loved liveshows like just yapping about the shows they watch and cry over together

dan self aware get over it crashing out “so what he enjoys a themed drink” he is so silly dfjfkdfksfkj i love this part

can i live in that autumn moment?

rare what phil has been listening to! movie soundtracks ok king

dan being a little pretentious talking about their differing tv show opinions and phil just mocking his hand movements and giving a 2 word review their dynamic is so dear to me

Is this an unpopular opinion idk i can’t stand 3d movies  

black and blue as always

phil’s laugh and look and dan going “you cheeky little bugger” at him putting “phil and dan” on the chair page<3

hearing them talk about tour in the tatinof days when it was their first go and things like how its amazing hearing people sing to the preshow playlist in the context of like right now is soooooo as a longtime fan who yearned to attend tatinof while it was happening but couldn’t and finally actually experienced them and the magic of a dan and phil show and things like singing hot to go with phannies just a few months ago god im going to miss this era sm

the apocalypse/ai/technology tangent is scarily relevant right now and from nearly 10 years ago wow hashtag we’re all doomed

susan boyle after the amazingdan reaction video lmaoo

they were really doing the most during this era like omg so many promises of things coming soon among the tour and spooky week and book and they were literally just home for one day after being in a car for hours earlier that day like they seem in good spirits in this one and i know its just chill chatting for an hour but boys! take a breather! 

overall i enjoyed this one! i don't rewatch old liveshows a lot but this is a fun way for us all to commit to rewatching and discussing one a week bc there's always so many fun little forgotten details and i think it would be fun to continue even post break! i was very tired while watching this and somehow still wrote out this very long yappy list of notes which are really just a stream of consciousness which no one will read probably but i humbly present them anyways <3

[tribalauthor]

THE WISEWOMAN R.R AU (CHAPTER 1)

Word count: 2k

It is a snowy Saturday in New York which is perfect for a coffee hangout with friends drinking overpriced hot chocolate or reading a clichè romance book by the fireplace at home but do you know where I am? I am situated in a hospital room, worrying my ass off for my dear uncle Paul.

"Uncle, I hope you get better soon" I was holding his hand. If something happens to him, I would completely lose it. He is the closest family I have after my mother.

He apparently got into an accident earlier and for everybody's surprise, that accident didn't happen in WWE - the place that can literally end you in the hospital especially for a talker like my uncle. But no, it wasn't there. He may have broken his leg in his very own house while he was trying to fix his lightbulb.

Yeah, I know this sounds very dumb but sometimes the dumbest things lead us to accidents.

"Don't worry, Sophia. I'm going to be fine." he assured me with a little nod.

"So Mr. Heyman" the doctor entered in the room. A medium tall man with very short grey-white hair and beard. He was holding an X-ray.

"You see this?" he showed it to me and uncle. I see an X-ray. My mom would be more familiar with this. "I don't know how you fell down but this a serious injury. You will need a lot of rest and time for recovery."

"Yeah, okay. I understand" uncle gave one of his light smiles.

"That means no work" the doctor specified.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Johnson" oh no. Here he goes. The ultimate talker himself, Paul Heyman. "I am the special council for your Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns and he has to prepare for a very important match for the Royal Rumble which is a fatal 4-way match by the way which in case you don't know, it means he has to fight three men at the same time, so he can defend his Undisputed WWE championship and then he has to prepare for Wrestlemania 40." I'm sure the doctor understood close to nothing from what was said. I know uncle gets crazy during Wrestlemania season and now he will get even crazier that he won't be able to work.

"Uncle" I sighed and rolled my eyes. He loves his job. He has always loved his job but he is way too dedicated and that's why he got so far, of course. He is amazing at what he does. I watch his stuff from time to time. I know all of his guys and I know that Roman Reigns is a big deal.

The doctor had the typical look of confusion, probably thinking my uncle is crazy which he is. He is a crazy man indeed but I still love him. He has helped me a lot throughout the years.

Especially after my father died from overdose almost 9 years ago. I was just 18 years old when this happened and uncle still hasn't forgiven his own brother for doing this to me, his only daughter, and my mother who is a very successful surgeon, by the way.

Uncle was the only one who supported me when I said I wanted to major in journalism in Julliard because I think I got that orator skills from him. My mother, of course, wasn't supportive since she wanted me to become a doctor. I mean are we surprised?

But I knew I ain't made for the hospital rooms. I am made for talking. I was born with a big mouth and have talked smack since forever.

After I finished my master's degree program in Mass Communication in Julliard I started an internship in Brooklyn Magazine where I write articles. The editor in chief likes them and she said she sees a high potential in me.

"If you want to recover sooner, Mr. Heyman, you have to stay at home and take a rest. Your wife can take care of you-

"I'm divorced" uncle interrupted him.

"I will take care of you, uncle. No problem." I said immediately.

"No." he just shook his head. Who is gonna take care of him then? My cousins are in college and I'm working a full time job.

"Look, I can ask my boss for less hours work" I tried to persuade him.

"No" he shook this head, saying with the exact same tone as earlier. I see the spark in his eyes. The same spark when he comes up with something.

"I can always hire a lady to take care of me but you, my dear niece, will take my spot temporarily in WWE as a special council for the Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns".

I furrowed my eyebrows so hard that I bet, an enormous wrinkle appeared on my forehead.

"What? Why?"

"This is going to be perfect for your resumè, Sophia. Trust me. Think about this." he seemed absolutely certain.

"Uncle, I want to be a JOURNALIST. To sit around in the studio for the morning shows, wearing my cute little costumes that I'm going to buy with my own money and interviewing politicians, celebrities and all the crazy, pretentious people that come to your mind. I don't wanna be stuck in a wrestling federation interviewing some big ass sweaty men and asking them things like 'So what are you gonna do to your opponent tonight?'. No. That's not my dream. See, the boss told me she sees a big potential in me because of my skills and face card. How am I supposed to leave?"

I just dropped my dramatic monologue about my dreams. And I didn't lie. This is how I've been imagining myself my whole life.

Uncle didn't seemed deeply fazed by this monologue. Indeed, he softened a bit but he still had the look in his eyes, the exact look that he knows he has something against me.

"Okay. Alright, Sophia. Whatever you say. I get your point. I'm not going to force you but didn't you say you want to take care of me?" I see where the things are going right now.

"Yes but that's-" he didn't even let me finish my point because he knows another monologue is coming. We rarely argue but boy, when we do, things get crazy.

"Taking my place temporarily in WWE is the best way you can help me and yourself as well. It's a win-win situation." he flashed one of his cute little innocent smiles but he knows very well he ended me with using my phrase and the "help" part.

I just pressed my lips, closed my eyes in defeat and took a deep sigh.

"Also don't make me mention the fact that you are always going to travel around the country and even the world and if you get your dream job in CNN or GMA or like you called them "morning shows", you aren't gonna travel much, for the record. You are going to be stuck in the same thing over and over again but in WWE you have the variety of experiences and you are going to see for yourself. Also WWE is the best place you can get recognition which will lead to big opportunities beyond your imagination."

And with this statement uncle just solidified himself even more as the righteous one. The part about opportunities may be no lie.

"Plus, in WWE you can wear your "cute little suits" as you referred. Allow me to send you some money and buy yourself something" he took out his phone and transferred me some money.

"Okay, uncle. I got your point already. Alright. I'm going to be your replacement...temporary." I specified.

"Temporary, of course. I would never let you take my job, Sophia. As much as I love you, you know the grip it has on me."

"I am fully aware" I chuckled and rolled my eyes.

"You will see how easy it is to work with Roman Reigns." Uncle seemed weirdly excited.

"That Aquaman ass guy? He ain't giving me those vibes but whatever you say, I guess. You know him better than me." I shrugged. Uncle always talks in superlatives when it comes to Roman Reigns. He ain't even talking about me and my cousins like that, so we get lowkey jealous.

"I want you to behave in front of him, okay? And Jey and Jimmy too. Save the smack talk for the rest of the roster." he knows how dangerous I can get when I start talking.

"Got it, uncle" I rolled my eyes for the millionth time today. We will see how these guys are going to treat me and I will decide how to behave. But from what uncle has told me they seem like great men but at the end of the day, I'm going to be the judge of that.

"Alright. Now I'm gonna make a few calls. I am going to call Roman, Hunter and even your boss if you want to. Then I'm going to tell you all about work.

"I'm gonna tell my boss, don't worry about that." I assured him.

...

"So tomorrow you have a meeting with Triple H aka Paul Levesque aka your temporary boss and after that Roman will show you around the building and everything. He may even add some stories for the business from his point of view. Agh." uncle sighed and had a big grin on his face. "He is an amazing man, Sophia. The biggest single star in the whole sports entertainment. If someday you bring me a nephew in law, I wish him to be as Roman - successful, strong, loyal and dedicated."

"Chill, uncle. You ain't at work right now." I couldn't help but laugh at him.

Honestly right now, I don't want any man. Two months ago I ended my relationship with Robert Mayer. We graduated at the same university but he was from the Law Department. Does a laywer and journalist sound like a great match?

That's what I thought.

"Dad, how are you?" my cousins flashed in the room. They are a few years younger than me and they are so cute, honestly. We exchanged a hug.

"I am gonna be okay, kids" uncle couldn't help but smile at them. "As long as I have you three, I am always going to be okay."

"We told mom about this". Jason said.

"Why? What have I told you? You don't tell your mother anything about me". He scolded my cousins. Uncle can't really stand aunt.

"Don't worry, she is not coming". Amanda assured him. She looks exactly like aunt when she was young, though. Blonde hair and brown eyes. She looks nothing like uncle but his son does. He just has hair...still.

I got the blue eyes from my father and uncle and the blonde hair from mom since she is also a natural blondie but a very skilled surgeon.

Somebody entered in the room as well. That must be aunt. I haven't seen her in ages but I couldn't mistake her.

"What did you do, Paul?" she scolded him. They still have that "married couple attitude" although they have been divorced for so long and as much uncle claims that he cannot stand her, I know it's not completely true. She is the mother of his kids after all.

"Oh Lord, please save me" uncle started baptising and looking up at the ceiling.

"Chill your dramatic ass down and let me see what have you done" she went to him and smiled at me mouthing "Hi", I did as well.

I waved at my cousins and uncle goodbye because I intend to leave them alone.

"No, Sophia. Don't leave me" he begged.

"I have to prepare for tomorrow, remember? It's a big day" I replied while walking to the door. "I'm going to contact you tomorrow and make sure to keep me updated of your condition" these were my last words before I exited the room and dialed my boss' number.

[searchforahero]

do you ever see urself un-shipping adopted family members?

no hate btw,

nope probably not :] dicktim has dug itself a place in my heart and it is pretty solidly never leaving <3

usually when i write them they're not particularly brotherly tbqh, but i've been working on a dicktim/timives fic lately where ives is. Freaked Out TM by tim & dick LOL its not done yet but here is a section from it (under the cut)

(for context i fucked up the timeline so basically tim is living in gotham, the uncle eddie stuff is happening, jack just died, tim is going to school with ives, and dick has been in between gotham and bludhaven lately. do not think too hard about how little sense that makes)

Dick Grayson is weird, and definitely not Tim's brother. It's been about a month since Tim first left school with Dick instead of taking the bus, and Dick's been coming to pick him up once every week or two since. Tim's been kind of cagey about stuff like how they met and how they got to know each other. Ives knows that Bruce Wayne was looking out for Tim while Jack was in his coma, but he had thought that Dick had been out of town for most of that.

Ives honestly doesn't know a whole lot about Dick, other than what every Gothamite knows, an orphan adopted by philanthropist Bruce Wayne, much like his guardian, he's known to be a bit of an air-head, but left Gotham to pursue policing in Bludhaven. Other than that Ives doesn't know much.

This is the first time that Ives is actually meeting the man. He and Tim had been hanging out at his apartment (which Ives still thought was super weird, who lets their sixteen year old newly-orphaned nephew live by himself? Especially in Gotham), playing Halo and talking shit.

Ives is just about to take the win when the front door goes flying open and Dick comes crashing in, calling out "Timmm, I don’t want to stay at the manor. Can I crash here?" He freezes in the hall between the entryway and the living area, presumably because he spots Ives. Ives is pretty sure he'd been about to crash forward on the couch they're sitting on before he turned the corner and realized Tim wasn't home alone.

He straightens up and smiles at Ives, says "Hey man, you're... Ives, right? Sorry, I didn't realize Tim had a friend over. I'm Tim's brother, Dick." He sticks out a hand for Ives to shake, and Ives just accepts that he'll have to take the loss this round, so he puts down his controller and shakes Dick's outstretched hand. He has a firm grip, firmer than could probably be considered casual, and his palm is covered in calluses.

Tim scoots over so he's sitting at the end of the couch instead of the middle, and waves at Dick, greeting him with "Hey man, you want to play with us?" He turns to Ives, tilts his head as if to say 'that okay?', and what's Ives going to say, 'no'? So Dick flops down on the couch, with his back to the arm rest and his legs thrown over Tim's thighs, and grabs the third controller.

They switch to Call of Duty and Dick kind of sucks at it, and after a few rounds he tosses the controller onto the coffee table and announces "I can't get used to the buttons, you'll never make me an XBox fan Tim."

Tim turns to look at him, frowns, and says "You've gotta admit that the XBox has a cooler design, like what's the PlayStation but a big hunk of plastic? The XBox has style Dick. Style!"

"Who cares about style when the PlayStation has way more exclusives man? The XBox has Halo and..." Dick mimes checking a notebook, "And yep, says here, Halo."

"And Halo is a masterpiece."

Dick pivots, shoves Tim's shoulder, tells him "Stop making that face at me, I don't care how cute you are, I'm not buying an XBox for my apartment."

And that's... That's weird right? There's something distinctly off about the way Dick said that, about the way he called Tim cute, not like an older brother teasing his younger brother, but like someone who- Ives cuts off the thought by physically shaking his head. He's not going to go speculating on his best friend's family like a jerk, especially when Tim has already lost so much.

He tries to ignore it while they keep playing, but Dick keeps poking and prodding at Tim, now that he isn't playing he's all over him, until eventually he just straight up lays his head in Tim's lap and announces that he's taking a nap.

Ives looks at Tim for any indication that he thinks this is weird, but finds none. When Tim isn't giving the TV his laser-eyed focus, he's insulting Ives' skills or brushing a hand through Dick's hair.

Ives is relieved when his dad calls Tim's apartment and tells him it's time to head home for dinner, because with Dick in the room, even asleep, he just couldn't relax like he normally can with Tim. There's something about the man that put him off.

He tries to ignore it, he's clearly important to Tim, and that's what matters, that Tim is surrounded with loved ones and friends instead of being forced to face the enormity of what he's lost alone.

[sorinethemastermind]

It is traditional, it is inherited, predispositional

In which Soren isn't as sneaky as he thought. Co-written and edited by the amazingly talented @honeii-puff. I write the Soren POVs, they write the Corvus POVs Also on Ao3 and it has a playlist!

Soren’s feet hurt. Not that he was complaining. He wasn’t. Soren didn’t complain. He was just thinking how it sure would be nice to know where they were going, especially after all this walking. Everybody else seemed to. But it had reached that point where asking where they were going would make it really obvious that he hadn’t any clue this entire time. And that would just be embarrassing.

So he didn’t ask. And he didn’t mention that his feet hurt. (Callum did. Callum mentioned that his feet hurt quite a lot, actually.)

But they were making good progress towards, wherever it was they were going. Rayla definitely knew. Runaan seemed to. Callum… probably did. But it was also possible that he was just blindly following Rayla and had as little of a clue as Soren did.

The lovebirds had fallen into step side-by-side almost as soon as they set out, whispering and giggling to one and other. Rayla kept reaching out to play with Callum’s scarf. Soren tugged at his own, pulling it tighter around his neck. It was nice to have a little piece of Corvus with him, even out here. 

“Are they always like that?” Runaan asked, pulling Soren back to the present. 

“Yup.” Soren nodded, glancing over at the elf. He’d fallen back from the front to walk beside him. “Pretty much.”

Runaan sighed. “I suppose I’ll just have to get used to it.” 

“After a while, it fades into the background.” Soren lied. 

“Hm.” Runaan seemed unconvinced. After a moment, he cleared his throat. “I’ll admit I was surprised when you assisted in my rescue. I understand my daughter’s motivations, of course. And those of your High Mage. But last you and I met…”

He trailed off, as if he didn’t want to relive that night any more than Soren did. 

“Yeah, well.” Soren tried to search for a simple explanation but pulled a blank. Very little seemed simple these days.

“Yeah.” He just said again lamely. 

They walked in silence for a moment, Soren’s footfalls feeling loud to his own ears despite the muffling moss and leaves underfoot. Especially when Runaan kept glancing back the way they’d come, eyes scanning the ground. 

“You and the tracker seem close.” He said suddenly. Soren felt his step falter for a moment. He couldn’t know, could he? Soren had been so careful. 

“How did you know he was a tracker?” 

“In my line of work, it pays to be observant.” The elf said. 

Soren’s fingers twitched towards the back of his neck, pulling the scarf higher. Runaan’s gaze lingered. 

“We’re on the Crownguard together,” Soren explained. “And he’s one of King Ezran’s most trusted advisors. We’ve spent a lot of time together over the last few years.” 

“You seem to trust him, and he seems to trust you. He did about me, anyway.”

“Well… yeah,” Soren said, realizing that the words were true even as he spoke them. “We’ve been through a lot together.”

“I’m sure you feel you could tell him most anything, and he you,” Runaan said sagely. 

“Yeah.” Soren paused. “I hope he knows he can tell me stuff.” 

“As I’m sure my daughter and your mage hope you know about them. They seem to think rather highly of you.”

Soren turned to him in surprise. “They… did?”

“Did you not expect them to?” 

“I don’t really know what I was expecting,” Soren admitted. 

“Well, they trust you. And I’m sure they would be receptive to anything you had to tell them. I doubt anything would change what they think of you.” 

Soren wondered for a moment why he cared, and then it dawned on him. Oh. 

“It’s hard, sometimes.” Soren told the elf. “To tell people stuff when you think they might not look at you the same after. But what’s important is staying true to yourself.”

He held a finger up before him as he finished the little speech, feeling rather pleased with himself. It was Runaan’s turn to look surprised. 

“I couldn’t agree more.”

“I’m sure the same is true for you.” Soren added. “Rayla cares about you a lot. And she really respects you.”

“Ah. Yes.” Runaan had paused for a moment, but now he fell back into step beside Soren. “I am grateful for her patience. And open heart. She reminds me of my husband in that way.” 

Soren’s eyes widened. “Your-“

“Yes,” Runaan said dryly, a slight smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “I look forward to seeing him again.”

“So that’s where we’re going,” Soren said, finally piecing it together.

“I… suppose it is.” The elf said. “I’m glad that you and I are finally on the same pa-“

“The Shinygrove!” Soren exclaimed, pointing at him. 

“Silvergrove,” Runaan corrected. 

“Uh, yeah.” Soren shrugged. “That’s what I said.”

Runaan sighed. Just then, Rayla called out from up ahead, glancing back towards the pair of them. 

“Either of you know a way across this river?” 

Runaan quickened his step, catching up to them. But before he did, he threw one last look back at Soren. 

“I’m sure you’ll like the Silvergrove. Expect a warm reception.” Runaan said, turning back towards Rayla and Callum. “And I’d suggest fixing your scarf. The others might see.”

Soren stared at the elf, dumbfounded. Then, he quickly twitched the scarf up higher, practically swallowing his entire face with it. This… this was not good. 

Or was it?

[spotaus]

Hope you don't mind if I rb off the rb w/ the fan-art haha! Finally I'm back for the big ol' reblog!! (Warning: This will probably be literally every thought I have as I reread the oneshot, which will be a lot of really small notes and/or big side tangents- Aka! LONG!!!)

Okay! First off, i love Nightmare in the first section!! The note about his paranoia and just how thoroughly he kept everything documented is so fun and brings an energy of growth to his character that would've happened recently in the story, but far enough back for him to be comfortable with how he's ruling now! Night in this entire first portion is actually just so so fun, from his confidence with Reaper + knowing just who he needs to make sure is where in order to solve the problem? Man it's SO good! He's a lil guy, he's still young, but he's learned and grown and he knows his own people (family) so well!!!

Along with that, the lore behind the drug is so so fun, I love how ou ended up developing that to make it feel so dangerous and so worthy of needing to tackle asap!

Back to the plan? Night and Reaper puzzling out exactly where their people would need to go to solve the issue is so banger- Night having learned a thing or two from his knights, street smarts that Reaper doesn't have, and Reaper knowing his kingdom inside and out and knowing the dangers? So tasty!!!! (And the lil note that Dust's replacement would end up being Cross + Horror, horror just to make sure Cross doesn't kill Geno, is SUCH a funny re-occurring joke (tho he would) this oneshot, it makes me giggle every time it comes up- Cross holds those grudges like no other!)

Night and Dust's interaction is so awesome too... It's a perfect balance between 'boss/employee' and 'siblings' because, yeah, Dust could just say yes, but Nightmare makes extra sure that Dust is comfortable with the idea and makes sure he isn't lying for Night's benefit! And Dust smiling after relenting to Night's 'please' for the guard to escort him? For Dust and Night to laugh about not telling the others right away lest they deny for him? Oh they're adorable!! And ofc Night's lingering worry....

GENO!!!! Oh this wreck of a man, I love him dearly... His panic here is so silly, but also so valid, like, it's SO good for his arc. He is actively fumbling and worrying, and he rarely does that- And ofc Reaper. Gods I've said it before and I'll say it again, the way you write for these two is just amazing... Every time I read you afterdeath content, suddenly I feel like a hopeless romantic and need to tear something to pieces with my teeth (/pos). Something about this specific scene where it balances the humor of Geno's dread+worry with Reaper being so supportive and soft and sweet? OUGHHH. And the way that Geno has so many internal thoughts that he refuses to admit out loud? I love that for him, he's so so refusing to show weakness, voice it, his pride is still too big and too wounded to be that honest, even in front of Reaper! (His inner dialogue about the greed too? Oh that was good! You're so right, he's driven by his need for more and more and more!) The mention of the other mages too. I love that he has a very very strong opinion on the others from his school and fears the worst if he were to let anyone else venture out with Dust. Geno is the only option, literally ofc, but also morally in his mind!

Geno and those damn horses, I love them sm... Bro could've fumbled worse, but he certainly did fumble often <3

Levitation Spell Specified! Chekov's Gun!! (I couldn't have predicted how that one was going to come back up if I had tried lmao!)

Again, Geno and Reaper being soft... This is just a personal thing to feel free to ignore this, but it tickles my brain how openly affectionate Reaper is (in this fic, in ur other fic, etc-) but like- I say he's like that but I don't ever capture the vibes right- Here?? Here in this fic?? You did it so so well. The little reassurance and stuff right before Dust + the other show up brings me so much joy it had me kicking my feet like a schoolgirl!!

Life mention!! Love to see it!

ROGERS MENTION!!!! (He's so committed to his job, He's my one oc in the back that I love lmao-)

Decor!! I love the little bits of lore you sprinkled in through the castle description! Even though Geno has seen it a bajillion times and acknowledges it, it still is seemless on how easily he recalls the information! and he's a nerd so ofc he'd do that! (And oml Geno reflecting on Reaper's age!!! I am CACKLING- Geno is so chill with it and it so worried for Dust- I know for a fact that Dust is probably very aware (Night is extremely aware of Sanctuary's history after becoming allies, and he mentioned it to the knights one day how old Reaper was, kinda as a way to explain just how solid Sanctuary is as an ally) and he'd totally just be like 'Yeah. I don't mind.' and move on lmao-)

Geno fumbling the name of horse hooves <3 And a gorgeous reunion of Awkward Geno and Chill Dust! (And the horses!!!! I never said anything but Opal and Basalt's personalities + descriptions are so perfect!!) Reaper lowkey definitely wanting to get closer (either to Dust or the Horses) but holding himself back is so fun too- Geno knows him well :]. And freaky Opal moment!! She's so funny, cryptid of a horse, perfect for Dust!

So sorry, the town scenes, no matter how brief, are so perfect- Especially Geno seeing how the city reacts to Dust (and himself though he's kinda missing that) and putting Dust into such an impressive light is so sweet... And imagining that Dust just has people fawning over him and his mysterious self is really funny to me- He deserves it, of course, but it's still really funny!

Geno fumble counter! It's up again! (Poor guy, can't do small-talk to save his life, I get it bro-)

HELL YEAH! Stumbled across Geno's reflection again and! Augh I didn't catch it the first time, but the fact that Geno acknowledges that he was using both Dust, and Reaper, to get to Dust? Hurting both of them in the process without meaning to? Because he was so curious and he didn't even consider how it could backfire? Ough- And ik a lot of this we've discussed before but I love how you have it play out... Oh! And Geno just being SO secure about him and Reaper, entirely unbothered by the idea of Reaper persuing someone alongside himself? I love that bit... (And I love that Geno still has no worries on where he and Reaper stand in their relationship, because they make it work between themselves!)

Opal again! She's judging Geno so hard... I love her!

The addition of that little tourist town is so cool! They found a way to make the beauty and nature safe to traverse, and found a way to keep an eye on the dangerous parts!

Dust asking a proper question!! I loved this bit, because it's Dust's first proper reach out to test the waters (especially in Geno's silence) and Geno takes the opportunity to spill everything about the Mountains and his relations to them haha! Inviting him (and the others ofc, he's making a conscious effort to not be weird about it) to visit! And!!!! I'm so sorry but his infordump??? about the little mice and his favorite flowers?? Oh Geno you're famous to me- (I legit was sitting there reading that the first time and realized that, yes, that would work as a flirting tactic on me. I have the same taste as Reaper, Dust, and Nightmare I Suppose (Geno, Fresh, and Error all do this, I cannot be convinced otherwise haha!)-) And he's so frustrated that he kept talking! No, Geno, it's working!! Keep going you nerd!!

Nightfall and anxieties about being uncertain in things and how uncomfortable it can be my beloved <3.

HE FELL!!! Sorry, sorry, I'm so glad you made Geno fall (harmlessly) off of Basalt while trying to dismount. He needed to have that happen to him, and he needed Dust to see it lmao! (And as always, Basalt is a gorgeous and calm boy!)

Geno's fire is such a fun detail too. I also vibe with the shift in Dust's attitude after the infodump too. He's more willing to interact, and Geno is offering up answers to pretty much every question that Dust is asking! It's subtle, I didn't notice it the first time, but it's a really nice touch! (Also Geno showing off to save his pride, but also having smart reasons, is SO fun!) Along with Dust having his reasons and so much confidence in his horses? I loved this little bit getting to see them interact!! And then ofc gay panic Geno regretting things the moment they start eating, and worse when they have to share the tent! Worrying himself to sleep my beloved!

Oh he got so used to being spoiled in the castle!!! Oh he's so cute 'Reaper always let him sleep in' he's been so comfy!! So cozy! Dude was NOT ready to see Dust haha! And the way he's worried about his appearance now thanks to how it would reflect on Reaper because of their connections? How it's made such an impact that he's worried how he looks around just himself and Dust? Awe!!!

Him making it clear he wants to help too... Big steps... Ad Dust being so unclear about how he takes it is so fun!

The lore for the kingdoms and the two's differing pallettes! Augh moments like this had me eating up all the content from location to location istg! Orchard focusing on animals, then swapping to fruits, and Sanctuary having amazing fish! !!!

And ofc my beloved horses- Opal is so smug and perfect, she deserves the world- And Basalt putting up with the gay shananigans on his back, flustered Geno and chill Dust (who MUST know what he's doing, even if he's entirely justified in doing it-). The "Hold on." and Geno's internal 'Where?!' really kills me every time- Dust having to help Geno across the river w/ Basalt, and then Geno having even more panic. Almost falling off again trying to put distance between them because he started catching feelings again, Dust pulling him back on, gods I love them-

And the reveal that Basalt is Horror's horse! Ofc I had a feeling, but by the gods is it so sweet- Not only that Dust prepped the strong and steady horse for Geno's sake, but also that he went through the trouble intitally of training up Basalt for Horror to ride! W/ his head injury his balance must be awful, and the custom saddle to grip onto, as well as a horse who keeps his balance very well? Oh I love that... (Now this also opens the door for Dust to have also trained up Killer and Cross' horses specifically for them- And Nightmare's- but that's for another time!) Dust loves his brothers so much, and is looking out for their best interests, and that of the horses!

And omg!! Shy Dust at Geno's genuine appreciation and acknowledgement of something he did to help him??? Waugh- The bit looking back on when they first were friends/"flirting" and Dust being shy is so sweet... Dust getting shy and Geno finding it cute... (Also, yeah, Geno finding the murderer, ex-smuggler, ex-crimelord cute is baffling and adorable lmao-)

Reaper being a good king again moment!!! I love that you keep adding glimpses into the structuring and history and economy of Sanctuary, it's so banger-

I love their routine, and them obviously being more comfortable working together (Their little discussion as they decide to keep searching the mine entrances, and setting up camp in a routine now-) And!! Reaper having a weighted blanket! One that Geno wants to add a warmth spell to so that it's more comfortable for him?? Waugh??? They're adorable-

Dust offering up that he was a smuggler, again that inside knowledge kicking in! And Geno being surprised about it (bro has no memory, just like me frfr-)- (Reaper's background checks! Hah! Wonder he still decided to go for it, he loves Geno immensely-) And Geno returning with the lore drop that he was his own provider as a kid!

Geno and Dust having normal conversation!!! And Geno taking a few snorts and (assumedly) positive looks to mean he's doing well. I'm so proud of him...

The final mineshaft time.... Geno being so understanding about leaving the horses behind, and Dust being alright with it and being smart about dismantling their riding gear so they don't get stolen? Grogeous. (Geno's right, Opal IS a diva!!!)

GENo!!! We do NOT split the party in this household!! You beautiful idiot!!!! ESPECIALLY NOT CARRYING A LIGHT!!!!!!

Augh, yeah, they got him- (pre-emptively, I LOVED this section. On god I made some unholy giggling sounds when I read it the first time!!!)

Hi. So. Rover? FABULOUS villain. Peak! He's just deranged enough to make this entire situation make sense!!

I almost lost my mind when Geno was recoognized for being the Royal Mage. I mean, he's a VERY public figure, he does not shy away from being right by Reaper's side as often as possible, he goes out on his own a lot, people KNOW him! It was just really interesting! (And from Rover's perspective? Of course it's a treat to have collared Geno, the Royal Mage, essentially the prized jewel of the King? Powerful magic known across kingdoms? Yeaugh... His plan to have Geno get hooked on the drug then send him back to Reaper like that? On god this dude actually could've had a shot- devious af-) And Geno's magic being unable to even slightly resist the slave collar? Man, that was downright TASTY. He was entirely helpless there, and Rover almost got his way.

AND DUST!!!!! HELL YEAH!!!!! Rover reacting with such Dread to Dus's presence made me SO giddy!!! (Admittedly, sometimes I have so much fun writing about the silly things happening between the Knights and their good times with Night + the others, I forget that they're actually like, extremely capable, respected, and feared figures to anyone who doesn't live in the same building as them! SO ROver having this reaction jolted me back into Geno's mindset of 'Right! Dust is like, actually really really badass and important known over there. This guy in particular would think of Dust as some sort of angel of death! Wuagh!!!) (And Geno being unable to do anything but taking the chance to watch Dust fight <3)

ROVER- my dude just did the medival equilvalent of 'Put a gun to your head- I'm impressed! And ofc it got Dust to stop in his tracks!! And then how Rover continues to speak, trying to get Dust to talk (And ofc he wouldn't know about Nightmare's alliance with Sanctuary, or the fact that he's not actually an evil tyrant, because he was run-out pretty early on! I LOVE seeing remnants of the early days!! Especially from characters who have witnessed it all (Dust) and who only know the era or relative peace + rebuilding (Geno)!!) and Dust is just completely silent!

The panic in Geno when Dust gets dampened, and the smugness from Rover? Perfect... And Rover deciding to snatch Dust's mask?? (And the hesitancy of his lackies??) Dust being furious about it, and Geno feeling awful for thinking he could handle it all and getting their plans all screwed up? And then out of left field Dust starts talking- No, MOCKING this guy! And Geno is under the impression that Dust is helpless with those dampners on (He's seen what any one non-magic attack can do to Dust's fragile bones...)- And ofc Rover has so so much character- Him mentioning how he'll be strong enough to defeat 'Nim's Son' and how Dust calls him out for being a coward and not saying Nightmare's name? Saying Night is stronger than even the people + Geno's magic? OUGH-

Gen connecting the dots finally too! Dust is so smart, and even with how little he says, he gets his point across so easily- (You write for him so so well Ancha!!!) Taunting Rover into trading off the scenario of who has what on? He's so so smart!!

Also Geno (even though he's a little numb) being furious and magic-less, socking Rover straight in the face the moment he's free for a second? That is so him, and I've never been more proud!!

And Dust being SO covered in stuff, things that had Geno entirely powerless, and Rover still being freaked out? Amazing... And then the fact that everything had fallen into place, that Geno can SEE Dust's emotions (bbecause, well, he knows Dust a bit better than he was giving himself credit for) and Dust gets to finally let loose when Rover tries to command him to do magic?? Wowza, it gets me every time I think about it-

The two of them running off and Geno realizing that Dust KNEW he'd be strong enough to escape the things? That he'd been acting? (Well, not really, he told the guys straight up that he let them catch him) and that he was always strong enough? Put himself into that position to get Geno safer? And ofc the shock at Dust's lightning magic that he seemed to pull out of absolutely nowhere-

And then they're running again, and the scene where Geno has to jump and Dust is clear he'll catch him? My HEART!! And in turn Dust trusts Geno when he says to let go when they're falling!!! MY HEART AGAGIN-

When they're safe on the ground and Dust hides his face- And then lets himself be vulnerable and lets Geno heal the weak shoulder? Geno *asking permission* before he does anything?? CHaracter growth??? Oh!! And the addition of the dusty bones! They grey flakes! Of course Geno notices them, and surely it's not what he thinks, right? Right?

Dust clearly feeling out in the open w/o his mask too... man... That bit makes me so emotional for no reason (big reason but you know what I mean haha!) and Geno being supportive and promise they'll right the wrong! (AND Dust being uncomfortable with the flying minecart! It's like a call back to Geno being uneasy riding Basalt! And Geno doesn't judge him or anything! He's learning!)

How easily Dust handles everything and how Geno is just actually kinda smitten by it brings me immense joy! I mean, sure, his partner can kill smth with a touch, but Dust has something about him that makes Geno even MORE impressed haha!

And then Geno being impressed by the machines is SO him. Bro is just curious, what can he say?? Poor Dust is crushing on a moronic nerd- And he reacts reasonably poorly in turn, because, well, yeah! It's a weird thing for Geno to be fascinated by, and it probably reminds him way too much of how Geno looked at him back then-

Rover!!! When he ended up showing up again i LOST IT. It makes so much sense, but I just didn't see it coming at all, and I was convinced I was losing my mind! The cool logic that drug sets off for the magic system is so interesting, and tbh I'm w/ Geno on wondering aboutt how much it could actually do for a person haha! (Dude the casual convo between Dust and Geno, ignoring him, as so funny and perfect for them!) Though, I must say? Fittingly dramatic and intense final line coming from him! Didn't expect it, but I must say that I did enjoy it a lot! Especially since he willingly set off that avalanche on them!

And the avalanche!!! Ogh! Opal is such a loyal and crazy horse, and Basalt, I think, is the mvp of this entire operation, gotta say <3. But fr. Dust knew exactly how to help them get the upper hand, and he was ready to do whatever it took to get all four of them to safety! (Geno, my beloved, clinging to Dust so so much- I would be doing the same, can't blame him-) Them jumping a ravine just barely in order to escape the snow was banger, and- and Basalt and Opal working together, Opal helping him up edges, and Basalt being such a good boy listening to Dust and saving all of them? (Can you tell the avalanche was one of my favorite scenes? Can you? /lh-)

And the calm aftermath- Geno not even realizing he was plastered to Dust, Dust being VERY aware, Geno being extremely more focused on the death he just narrowly avoided? (And the note of probably stopping by a healer because he was THAT stressed out is such a good touch!) And then Dust being very much less stressed because he does stuff this crazy, if not worse, fairly often? (Not to mention if he let himself get distressed, especially on a snow-covered mountain? Yeah, that'd end poorly for them-)

And good gods Ancha, there were many gut-punches here (I think the Collar on Geno and the avalanche were two of the biggest) but Basalt being hurt? That one got me GOOD. Like, I mean I think I actually gasped at that one. Because?? Poor boy did all that just to be wounded in a way Dust *Knows* isn't a good sign? I was SO scared- But then Geno came in clutch... Bro used what little knowledge he had on the subject (Fresh! Yippee!! You taught him something!!) and used it to help out and come up with a better solution! He jerryrigged horse-healing! To help out Basalt!!! He's so resourceful... Even when he was exhausted from doing things before...

The camp set-up is so fun. They're both exhausted, Geno's finally grappling with the severity of what just happened, Dust is trying to push through but it evidently at the end of his own reserves as well (the flint and steel thing sparking off his magic is Such a cool touch btw??) anf they just... sit aorund the fire??? AWE??? (Dust having his mask off is so cool too, so subtle...) Geno mentioning in his head his low reserves for immediate magic due to his soul was awesome too... So many fun souls in this adventure!!

The tipi is so cool too! And the fire bit, I love that the logic here is that the fire Geno is using is like the fire Toriel uses in her house, where you could just crawl inside and take a nap- Imagining little Error curling up in the flame is so fuckin funny too-

AND GENO- Moment bro was free from his warm bed roll he totally subconsciously decided that Dust just had to be near him- I know you mentioned a scene from Dust's perspective of this would be so peak, and I think it very much would be, but Geno just half-asleep deciding to curl into Dust because he's safe and warm and stable? Yeah, I didn't realize I needed that...

I FORGOT ABOUT HIS ALMOST FUMBLE- "What you cooking good- FRIEND" good gods Geno you're my favorite forever and ever-

And them having casual conversations again! Yippeee!!!! Dude them discussing intent and the ways it works, and then Dust TEASING about it?? Crying sobbing, I love them... (Also Dust actually being able to cook, I love him so dearly for that. He had a billion places to pick up the skill and he did! He went for it!)

And the walk, Dust opening the door to talk about magic!! Geno whole-heartedly offering his own weak spot and then explaining how his magic works! Dust being curious! (And Geno recogninzing that Dust does actually listen...) And Geno being SUCH a nerd about it, spilling his guts over how much he adores learning about magic, others magic, all magic! (Dust cannot relate but is starting to piece things together-)

And gods, Geno just giving all the lore? This fits him so so well first off, but second? I LOVE the direction you took his past, Ancha! I wouldn't have even considered same mom multiple dads, but it makes a lot of sense as to how Geno and Fresh and Error made it so long and so strangely, haha! (Also, Ironfields! Scribbling that down frantically for no reason in particular-) And ofc I love the addition that Dust would assume Geno was from Sanctuary, because, I mean, he has to be, right? Those marks and knowing Reaper so well? And then ofc the note of Reaper picking Geno based on his magical skill, and him deciding that if he found another more talented he'd still ask for a date from Geno later? Adorable??? And dude, the bit about both Geno and Fresh looking at Error like their whole worlds? That HURTS- OWIE- But Error being such a calm baby until his magic Exploded their wall? I'm cackling, I love them- (And Dust's little 'Good brother"??? High praise coming from him oml???? Especially with Error of all skeletons, the one he unintentionally or intentionally bonded with??)

And man, the way their talk ends with Dust asking how Error ended up with them? The mutual sadness at that one is killing me- (Also Geno recognizing that Dust was tired from talking? Dude is noticing the social battery! Yippee!!!)

Next morning, Geno's dream? Adorable, hilarious, love that he's embarrassed by it! And dude, I love the fact that Dust left his jacket, that's so so awesome-

And I love this discussion about the magic and the whole collar siuation. Of course Dust would want to hear more about Geno's magic (since he doesn't have anyone to really learn magic from aside from Night) and Geno would want to know why Dust *doesn't* see it the same way! And Dust describing it how he did, a natural force that he guides rather than controls, it's awesome! And Geno is rightfully so enamoured by it and is holding in his awe and need to get to the bottom of it!!

And Geno being honest about his panic compared to Dust's skill in the heat of battle? Dust being 100% understanding fits him well, he rationalizes it for Geno even when Geno refuses to accept it. He believes he should've been more of a help a lot sooner, recognizes his shortcomings and things to improve on, while Dust is just impressed at what he *did* do!

And ofc the iconic shift into Dust questioning Geno's actions before!!!! I squeaked when i realized this was the direction it was heading haha!

Geno admitting right off the bat how shitty he was and then, just rolling into the whole explanation? I'm so proud of him!!! (Ancha you did his arc so much justice here, in this entire oneshot, I loved it dearly-) He explains his logic just like he does everything else in this plot, and even if it's crappy logic, he acknowledges that he wasn't keeping Dust's feelings as in-mind as he should've been. That he doesn't expect Dust to just forgive him. And when Dust drops the other actions, the kiss and the touching, Geno is just like!!! Very alarmed because he hadn't even been thinking of that! Because that one was more genuine! And he's honest with that too! (And yeah, his logic makes sense, because he was so used to Reaper!)

And I think that it's perfect that Dust gives him the silent treatment after this, because the guy deserves some time to think it out and untangle some really intense emotions! (Also, in the night I'm 50/50 on whether that was actually a dream or if Geno genuinely just curled around Dust again, but I'm *guessing* it was a dream lol-)

And then the camping at the cabin?? Dust's lil check to confirm Reaper's interest followed by checking with Geno, and Geno fumbling it SO badly (and still somehow managing to get the message across-). Dust saying that lil line? 'I don't hate you, I just don't understand you"??? Helpp me??? I literally like. Knowing what comes after this??? Crying sobbing??? Anyways, perfect execution Ancha, as always <3

Their return to town!!! Again, I keep forgetting these two are figureheads in their kingdoms that are very known and respected- Dust got his moment with Rover, Geno gets his moment in town! People are rallying and celebrating that the two survived despite all the odds against them! They're happy to see them and want to help! (And Dust slipping coins to those helpful people? So so him, such a good detail!)

The guards worrying over Geno and *Geno* being the one shying away from attention because it's all pointless worrying? Him complimenting Dust and Dust getting shy about it? Ough-

And Reaper!!! I know I give Night all the credit for stressed times in his study, but Reaper! Poor guy! (I can't imagine things on his end. Geno going missing, Dust along with him, two people he loves and cares for? Yeag.) Him instantly going to Geno gives me butterflies, and he's so earnest about wanting to make sure both of them are alright and know he cares for them? Crying. Sobbing. (Especially with the bit later with Reaper hearing about their whole debacle? YEAH. Crazy-)

The sudden Dust pov is so fitting too!! It makes sense for it to be him to percieve this scene, and omg. The way I SNARLED when Dust got up close and personal and debated and then said Geno was a cute nerd and gave him a kiss on the cheek???? I literally made the most unhinged, dog chewing on a stick, gutteral growl because girly giggles were NOT enough.

Like, thematically and for the point of this oneshot, it is SUCH a good conclusion! Geno made a change for the better, both Geno and Dust got to know each other better, they got glimpses into each other's lives in ways that made them better understand the other's troubles! Geno got to learn about just how skilled Dust is and a bit about his past, while Dust. Well. Dust got to figure out why Geno's... Like That. And for all the hardships and the awkwardness and the tension and the laughs, they made it through, and they know they care about one another, and Geno left the choice entirely up to Dust. Forgiveness, love, etc. Dust was able to choose for himself, entirely without any eyes on him and without fear or pressure or weight on his shoulders, and he chose! He's giving it another chance, because now he can expend a bit more trust. He can give it another shot.

And dude, I just know that Geno's goofy happy grin was something he had NO control over. I love that for them...

Okay I think I probably missed some things in the moment so quick bonus list!

The storms on the mountain being calm, I have to guess that's only because Dust was doing such a good job at keeping calm, so while he can't directly control the weather, it was influenced. Like, in the night after the mines incident it was creeping in, while Dust was emotionally drained + magically/physically exhausted, but after it was clear skies, just REALLY cold. If that's the case, GREAT detail! If not, then I've been typing too long haha!

Shout-out to Killer, totally exposing Dust's crush by trying really hard to be a good wingman- He technically helped, but boy did it also hinder-

Uhhhh. Mentioning again how much I love the effort that went into Basalt's role in the story? Opal too ofc, but for some reason my brain has fixated on Basalt and his cool custom saddle to accommodate Horror and how much of a beast that horse is <3 (I WILL be learning how to draw horses so I can draw Opal, Basalt, and the others whenever one of us jumps on needing them for plot reasons haha!)

So. The first scene I actually wanted to sketch out was this final one w/ Dust on his tip-toes and Geno leaning ever so slightly down to meet Dust's height for the kiss. I just. Yeag. I love them.

Also!!! The choice to make it a cheek kiss is so special to me! Especially if Geno had already kissed him on the mouth (teeth?) before because, well, he needs to work back to that point, do it over with a healthy relationship. In the meantime, it's something that he feels in control of, and feels comfortable doing, and both of them can appreciate the emotions and trust behind the gesture! Made me very very very happy! (The way you write romance is something I need to download into my brain forever-)

And.... I need to sketch Geno in his travel fit (Ignore that I already drew the one thing, it's not super far off from his normal fit I imagine lol!)

Lastly! I just loved everything about this oneshot Ancha! I'm so sorry that it took me so long to get to replying for (I've been writing for like 4 hours now haha!) and I'll be adding it to the masterpost tomorrow most likely! I'm honored to have you as a co-writer and this is smth I'm putting in my long-term memory so I can think about it forever and ever!!!! (I don't have emojis, writing on a laptop, but picture the salute emoji and a lot of heart emojis, haha!)

Gifted Oneshot - NewAgeAU - The Mountain

I have been slow cooking and scheming a little something. That stopped being little a while ago.

Also as you notice. Not just a drabble. Straight up an oneshot.

On that note. Because of this I have also decided to upload it to my AO3. In case you prefer reading it there you can by clicking Here.

This is for my friendo @spotaus and their New Age AU, or ours as I am a bit of the co-writer at this point haha.

Fair warning. This installment is far into the future and after the main story line the main story will focus on. This is about the DustedAfterDeath relationship and how they went from toxic to reasonable.

Warnings: past toxic relationship. mentions of drugs. mentions of slave collars.

Also... Euh... it is 33000 words long. Yes you are reading that right. 33K words. Which is why i am terrified to see how Tumblr will react to that many words as I never tried to upload something that long here.

Anyway! Here we go!

*----------------*

Nightmare frowns as he looks back at the files left on his wartable before turning back to the cabinet with many different reports. The cabinet itself is a nice dark brown and made of sturdy wood. It had served him well over the last many years he had been a king.

It was one of many that he had both in the warroom as in his own office. This one specifically he had rolled into the warroom as it had all the detailed reports from the black market dismantling.

Reaper whistles as he leans on the table “I keep forgetting that you document everything.”

Nightmare gives a tiny shrug at his fellow king “It is a habit.” Before he used to keep track of everything because he had been a control freak and perfectionist who was paranoid. The magic of The Ritual had done a number on his mental health and Nightmare sometimes still wondered how he managed to get through that for 7 years before he turned thirteen again. Ccino is honestly a miracle worker.

Nightmare finally finds the reports he had been looking for and pulls them out with a tiny triumphed smile. He lays them across the table and reaper looks at it curiously.

Nightmare speaks “This.” he points at the files “Is everything I have about the dismantling.”

Reaper nods as he looks at the five reports “On the whole black market?”

Nightmare frowns “No? Everything about that is in the cabinet. Those are just about the main drugs rings.” The smaller ones Dust had managed to do in one afternoon at that point. Even with Dust having had to wear multiple magic dampers and without much training he had been scarily efficient at shutting it down. The biggest issue had been with the main branches which required more leg work and a more stealthy approach.

Nightmare just knows that Dust and Killer had returned covered in soot and Killer had looked so excited as he spoke about Nightmare having to hire Dust fulltime. Dust had just looked bored but had felt rather content and proud of himself back then.

Nightmare is pretty sure that is when those two actually started to become friends which would eventually become the almost twin bond the two shared. And Nightmare can know as actual twin.

Reaper looks shocked “That many reports? Why?” even as he asks it he pulls the first report over as he starts scanning the information for stuff he recognises from his own drugs problem.

Nightmare takes a seat and pulls over the information that Reaper had brought with him “With the magic my mind was busy and paranoid. The reports helped. Because each time my mind would think of another detail or something that could backfire I could pull the report open again and search it. Either to help calm my mind that there was nothing to worry about. Or to give me a starting point to make sure this new idea didn’t became a problem.” After he deaged back to his normal age he just kept the habit up of making the reports. Nightmare hadn’t looked at them much in the last 3 years but it was nice to have them.

Especially in situations like this.

Nightmare opens the file that Reaper brought and frowns. It is all about how a new drug has been making the circles in Reaper’s land. In the capital city no less. The effects are mostly concentrated on giving the monster or human taking it a large magical boost. Causing them to be able to perform magic for a short while and to feel energised. The healers and scientists however had found out that the drug does this at cost of soul energy. Meaning that the very magic you gain is taken directly from your soul. And unlike magic users the average soul is unable to perform these activities without consequences.

The most likely consequence is that the one who takes it gets soulburn. A dangerous illness where the soul starts to produce more energy which can cause the soul to burn a way out of the body. An even worse option is that the soul can collapse in on itself as it gives too much of the soul energy. Causing death.

All very serious concerns. Especially if you take into consideration that the drug is addictive. The monster or human taking it will the first few times feel amazing which leads to developing a craving for it. And then it is a slippery slope down towards the worst possible results.

Nightmare can understand why Reaper came here with their treaty to get more help.

It isn’t exactly a secret that Nightmare’s land used to be swarmed with crime. Nightmare knows. Even after ten long and hard years of working on these issues the rumours still remain. Nightmare knows it will take even longer before the bad image of his land is improved. Nightmare is very happy that his brother and Blue are working on that.

Reaper is frowning as he has by now three of the five reports open and seems to switch between the different folders to study the information.

Nightmare turns back to the information offered to him and skips passed the properties and the victims. Instead Nightmare focuses on the section of where it first appeared and if it appeared anywhere before reaching the capital.

Nightmare finds a few locations and goes towards his map table. He touches the side and focusses for a moment. The map in view changes to fit the layout of Reaper’s kingdom. Nightmare walks towards the side of the capital city and touches the map. A small marker appears where Nightmare touched the map. Nightmare refers back to the other location mentions and starts putting it down on the map as he looks at the direction.

Mmh. Strange. It started near the mountains.

Nightmare makes a few careful notes of all the locations and what the layout looks like before making the table show a more detailed map of the mountains themselves.

The mountains help protect Reaper’s territory. It makes his country hard to infiltrate. Not to forget the ocean guarding him on the other side and the small area where the ocean and mountain range don’t meet being the mangrove forest.

Nightmare frowns as he stares at the map. It seems impossible for whoever did this to have smuggled the drugs in from the outside.

Nightmare speaks slowly “It seems likely that they make the drugs in your kingdom itself. Instead of importing it. If it were imported you would have noticed and caught them in either the port area or when they stubbled in through the forest or mountains.” Reaper has his guard watch those areas like hawks. Had they been importing the drugs they would have been caught already.

Reaper frowns as he looks deeply unhappy “That is what I am afraid of. That just means they have settled somewhere in my lands but I have had my guards search the cities and towns. There is no sign of them having settled anywhere, just selling.”

Nightmare frowns as he concentrates back on the map. He zooms in on the Three Lakes “The lakes?”

Reaper shakes his skull “We searched it. And unlike in our own river we couldn’t find any traces of the drugs in the water there.” He sounds relieved. Nightmare understands of course. His main food source is those lakes together with fishing in the ocean.

Nightmare frowns as he looks at the mines “Are the mines still operational?”

Reaper looks up and frowns “Not all of them. We maintain them just in case as we don’t want landslides but some have been locked up and decommissioned.”

Nightmare keeps looking at him and Reaper frowns “The mountains are dangerous. Them settling there would be too big of a risk.”

Nightmare shrugs as he speaks “I thought the same about the gang settling in the old clocktower and below in the sewers.” Dust had looked so damn amused when Nightmare had said it seemed unlikely “But these people… they don’t care about anyone’s safety. Not even their own. If they can gain power and money they will risk everything. Because to them the reward far outweighs the possible risk.”

Reaper frowns as he taps the files and stares at the map “The problem is. The mine shaft. You can’t just reach it. There is a reason we keep a careful eye on those. They are hard to reach and even harder to get the supplies needed up there.” Reaper frowns “Travel can take anywhere from 2 days on foot to 2 weeks on horseback, all depending on which mine you go to.”

Nightmare looks back at the map “Which mine is most likely to hold them?”

Reaper frowns as he taps the map and stares at the different mountains being viewed.

Nightmare takes the files back and looks at the different clues they had found so far. Nightmare frowns “They most likely make it somewhere. So it has to be a place has the ability to make the drugs.” He looks back at Reaper.

Reaper studies the map and points to one “We set this one up to be decommissioned soon. We were planning on going up there in summer to shut it down to make sure there were no accidents as can take up to a full week worth of travel on horseback. Even if you go alone.” Reaper points at the area and the long distance from the main roads “You would have to travel through the kingdom itself before moving up the mountain. The paths are traitorous. Even in summer. Much less now. With it being early spring.”

Nightmare frowns as he stares at the map “How risky is it to wait? Until it is safe to travel the mountain?”

Reaper shakes his skull “We have found multiple people dead already. Soulburns and souls just giving out. More people are looking for this drug. If it starts to spread out of the capital towards the smaller areas.” He frowns “Not to forget if more of the water gets pollinated it will affect us through the drinking water.” He sighs “I need to put a stop to this right away.”

Nightmare nods as he thinks. Dust could make it up there. Dust has more skills with horses than anyone Nightmare knows. Not to forget that even if the weather takes a turn for the worse it will just power Dust enough to maybe even redirect the storm. Dust also has experience in taking down these type of things.

However. Dust works the best either alone or with a very small crew. Most of his knights do.

Nightmare looks back at Reaper “How do you picture this mission?”

Reaper taps the map as he speaks “It would have to be a small group. The paths will be dangerous and having a large group may cause the path to become unstable. But sending someone alone is just begging them to be lost in the mountains without backup.”

Nightmare nods as he speaks “I can send one of my knights.” Dust would be by far the best. But that means sending Dust out to Reaper’s country and… well… Nightmare may trust Reaper with stuff about his country, there is a reason Nightmare no longer needs Dream’s presence for these meetings. But Nightmare still doesn’t quite trust Reaper with Dust. Things have been getting better but… Nightmare is still worried.

Reaper smiles before looking a bit more nervous himself “I appreciate the help. And I appreciate you being willing to entrust one of their safeties to me. But before you say anything or agree to help in that way. I must say. The one I would send would be someone… Very knowledgeable and skilled in magic. The drug works magically. And as you said it is most likely being produced inside those very mountains. Meaning they have some kind of power source or set up. Most likely magical that needs to be shut down.” And Reaper waits.

Nightmare doesn’t like this. His mind spins as he considers what was said. The worst part is that Reaper is right. Nightmare can see the reasoning and the conclusion that was made because of that. Even the very information they have to work with is because of Geno. Geno had been the one who figured out it was a magical drug and how it affect those around them all. Geno was the only right pick.

Nightmare thinks long and hard. Killer would be fine with the actual dismantling but he isn’t the best horse rider. Horror is strong but magically not strong enough to most likely have to battle magically skilled people who are even making this substance. Not to forget that Horror needs one of the sturdier horses. And while they are trusty steeds they are not the best for mountain paths.

Cross is out of the question. Mostly because Cross will end up making Geno go missing. Cross would be fine with the actual fighting and riding the horse all the way to the end location but Cross is also still furious at both Reaper and Geno and doesn’t make it a secret.

Dust is the only option.

Nightmare speaks slowly “I… Dust is the only fit for this mission. He is unchallenged in his horse handling and our expert when it comes to shutting down these kind of operations.”

Reaper looks shocked but then looks to the side as he frowns at the map. Clearly thinking.

Nightmare knows he will make the same conclusion that Nightmare just made. Dust is the only option to send up that mountain. Especially in these dangerous circumstances. And Geno needs to go because he is the one who knows this magic and can shut it down effectively.

Reaper frowns as he looks at Nightmare “You really think Dust can make it up that mountain? Even in early spring? While guiding other horses?”

Nightmare thinks for a moment. If it was in his own territory Nightmare would feel comfortable sending all four of his knights. Knowing that Dust could lead those horses up any area that he knows. But that is the issue. This would be uncharted territory for Dust to lead horses up and around.

Nightmare nods “If it is in your territory? I know Dust can safely lead two horses up the mountain, the only reason I say two is because Dust doesn’t know that mountain. But I would have to request they use horses from my kingdom.”

Reaper looks curious “I am not saying no and will gladly accept that but why?”

Nightmare figured it was obvious but then again Reaper wouldn’t know “Dust trains the horses. Every horse in used by my guards and knights are trained by him.” Which also means that Dust has a bond with every horse in use by those in the castle and that even if someone else is riding it they will listen to Dust’s comments, directions and orders.

Reaper looks impressed before nodding “Of course.” A moment of silence “Are you sure this will be alright?”

Nightmare frowns as he looks to the side “I am not. But this is dangerous. It needs to be stopped as soon as possible.”

Reaper nods as he sighs “I will return home. Talk with Geno. We will remain in contact by letter and whenever works for you and Dust I will gladly welcome his visit and help.”

Nightmare nods “I will ask Dust myself.” If Dust says no Nightmare will have to reconsider who he can safely send. If that ends up the case he would most likely have to send both Horror and Cross. Cross to send up the mountain with the horses and to deal with the ring while Horror would go along to deal with Cross himself.

For now he will just ask Dust.

--

Nightmare watches nervously as Dust looks over the mission plans. His knight had frowned when he saw the location but he had schooled his expression quickly enough to read the mission set up and goal.

Dust nods and speaks “I agree. I am the best fit.” Factual and quiet. Nightmare always thought he could read his brother no problem but turns out that Dust could still hide things from him.

Nightmare doesn’t often miss the magic the Ritual gave him. But the one thing he does miss was the connection he had had with those close to him.

Nightmare misses being able to feel their joy and excitement. He misses being able to feel that connection to their magic and souls. The way he could feel them close in a way that he could never explain.

Being able to notice when they needed help.

It is why he watches Dust closely. Trying to see any signs of distress. Nightmare had promised himself he would not miss those signs again.

Dust nods as he looks up “I can do it. Lead two horses up to the mine shaft and help the mage coming along to shut it down.”

Now the hard part.

Nightmare takes a deep breath and speaks “There is only one option for which mage could be send along to fix this mess.” He waits a moment “Geno.”

Dust’s hand twitches before forming a fist before relaxing it again. Dust nods “Okay.”

Nightmare glares “No. Seriously. Are you okay with it? We can think of something else if it is too much.”

Dust gets this tiny fond smile on his face “You really want to trust Killer to lead two horses up that mountain?”

Nightmare looks to the side and mutters “I wouldn’t have trusted him to do that to begin with. Would have send Horror and Cross together.”

Dust pulls a face “Yeah I can see why you can’t send Cross alone.”

Nightmare looks pained “What did he do?”

Dust looks slightly embarrassed “He did not enjoy the fact that Geno now feels… brave enough to wave and say hello. I am not exactly sure what he said but Cross looked rather happy after the interaction so I assume nothing good.”

Nightmare gets it of course. As Cross had said once. Dust doesn’t move to protect or defend himself so as his fellow knights it is their job. And Cross takes his job as knight, and brother, very serious.

Nightmare is a bit curious about what Cross exactly said but he can try to ask him later. For now “Are you sure?”

Dust frowns as he thinks for a moment “It will be… unpleasant. But if he continues to behave and act as is now I do not see an issue with us doing this mission.”

Nightmare frowns before nodding. Dust seems honestly okay with it. Nightmare points towards the map “We need to move out as soon as possible. I want you to prepare your pack for travel and two horses for the track up the mountain. I will send Captain Rogers with you as escort to Reaper’s kingdom. He will remain there until you return and escort you back.”

Dust looks amused “I don’t need an escort.”

Nightmare doesn’t even bother as he just stares at Dust “Please.” Please. Please just let him do this. Please let him protect him in the tiny ways he can.

Dust gets that fond little smile again before sighing but nodding “Okay. Okay. I will travel with some of the guards. Restock my packs before we leave for the mountains.”

Nightmare smiles as he hands the mission brief over to Dust.

Dust reads it and hums “You may want to keep the others in the dark for a little while. At least until I am on my way there.”

Nightmare can’t help but laugh as he nods “Probably for the best.”

Dust nods and gives the little mock bow before he turns and leaves the warroom. Most likely to go and take care of the horses and get them ready for the long track.

Nightmare really hopes he didn’t make a mistake.

--

Geno feels like he is going to throw up. Even as he stares at his many charged crystals and some spell scrolls.

His soul pulses fast and he feels sick and excited.

How is he going to get through this?!

A soft chuckle and a hand takes his own “My love?”

Geno blinks out of his thinking before staring at Reaper “You are trying to kill me.”

Reaper looks so amused as he tilts his skull “Really? I should have removed my gloves if that was the case.” He joins him on the bed “Are you alright my love?”

Geno laughs and stares at Reaper “Yes? No? I am not sure? I am going to be alone with Dust! For weeks on end!” he stresses the words.

Reaper gives a slow nod as he frowns “You don’t want to anymore?”

Geno groans “No I want to! That is the issue! The problem is… I am not sure… How am I supposed to make it through this week without it ending with him hating me even more?!” the only reason there was the tiny peace was because of Error’s and Fresh’s situation. Dust still avoids them a lot and Geno had only been lucky enough to manage a wave or small hello.

Not at all the small conversations he craves and wants so badly. That connection he had had but lost because of his own stupid and idiotic behaviour.

If those things are already impossible how is he ever going to be able to manage a full week of travel? One on one travel?

Reaper looks so damn gentle and Geno hates how much he still craves that look. He should be fine without it. Yet here he is still craving that look. Same as the awe Reaper would show when Geno showed off his magic.

Reaper takes his hand and rubs the back of it. Carefully, even as he wears his gloves for safety, Geno never saw the deal with that. Not when it was just them. Geno knows Reaper would never hurt him. Geno knows Reaper enough to know that, Geno knows enough about magic to know that Reaper would never kill him with his Touch of Death ability.

Sadly Reaper doesn’t believe this.

Reaper speaks carefully “I don’t think he will hate you, or more as you say it.” he continues to hold his hand and rub the back of it with careful tiny circles. Reaper stares at him with that same love written all over his face.

Geno does not deserve it. But he is selfish and a bastard and can’t let go. He would never let go of this beautiful but terrifying thing. Not as long as Reaper is willing to give it.

It is why it hurts so bad to have lost what he and Dust had had, all because Geno couldn’t stop being selfish and greedy for one moment.

Reaper smiles softly still, probably aware of the mental turmoil Geno is having, and speaks again “You are respecting his boundaries… or most of them.” Reaper shoots the Seeing Crystals a look and yes Geno deserves that jab. Reaper doesn’t dwell on it for longer “You know what you did before was wrong. You are more aware of yourself and your habits. You can use this knowledge to make it through this trip alright. In a way you can see it as your chance to truly show Dust that you learned from your past mistakes.”

Geno is still unsure as he breaks their eye contact.

Reaper speaks softer “I can still ask for someone else to go? Another mage maybe-”

“No!” Geno is slightly embarrassed by his reaction but it is justified!! Geno has gone to a school with mages! He knows how they think and the biggest issue in his old school had been the many different mages all trying to figure out either love potions or love spells. Stupid hormones driven teens.

Geno is very aware he is being a hypocrite but at least he never sunk that low. He never tried to use his magic to force anyone to feel something for him that wasn’t there. He never committed that crime of break of consent. Geno still has the opinion that those spells and potions count as rape drugs and he will not take any arguments against that.

Reaper looks amused “So you will go?”

Geno grumbles as he looks to the side “Obviously! And just because I am obviously the only correct choice for this mission.” He turns back to his many spells and sighs “I am just…” worried scared terrified paranoid anxious “I don’t want to mess it all up again.”

Reaper had worked so damn hard to fix Geno’s mistake. The very treaty had been in danger and Geno had felt terrible. The fact they still didn’t trust Geno proved once again how badly he messed this whole thing up. Just because he can’t look at people like a normal person and has the stupid habit of turning everything in his mind into some weird scorecard or game or experiment or whatever his minds decides on for the day.

Reaper says it is Geno’s own trauma from being forced to be a parent to his younger brothers while having no stable income or secure housing.

Geno just thinks he is an ass.

Reaper hums as he keeps holding his hand and rubbing the back of it “And you won’t. I trust you.”

Geno laughs as he looks to the side “That went well the last time.”

Reaper hums “The past is in the past. You are trying to improve and better yourself. Why would I keep bringing up stuff you did before that you already regret and are trying to improve?” Reaper traces Geno’s cheek with the gentlest touch “Why would I want to hurt you like that? You learned. You are changing your behaviour and working hard to do right now. I think that is beautiful and shows who you really are as person. You just need the chance and time to improve.” He kisses the hand before smiling “I will ask you once more. Please be honest. Do you feel ready to go on this journey? And do you want to? Or do you need more time to grow and feel secure in interacting with him?” and he waits.

Geno thinks for a moment. He honestly feels fine with going up the mountain. To search the mines. He is just nervous about how Dust will react to him. But moreso, he is excited. Excited about the chance to just be near the other. Hear the other speak again. Speak to him again!

Geno nods “I want to go.” there is just one tiny issue “But horses?!” he stresses the word.

Reaper looks amused “Do you want to walk up the mountain?”

Geno glares “I can’t drive a horse Reaper!”

Reaper chuckles as he smiles “It is called riding love.”

Geno groans as he ignores the comment “I prefer walking over falling on my face every time the horse makes a turn.” There is a reason Geno had wanted to use his inexperience with horses to create a moment with Dust before and oh boy now that he thinks about that he sees the very clear red flag that situation is. Geno really is just red flag after red flag isn’t he?

Reaper smiles “I mean. It should be fine. Nightmare will be sending two horses along with Dust. And Dust apparently has good control over the horses and they listen to him. I am sure the horse will behave and make sure you don’t fall off if Dust asks.”

Geno knows of course. He had spied on a few of those horse trainings before he realised he was once again ignoring every boundary and just taking what he wanted. But the fact remains he had seen Dust work with the horses before. He is an amazing rider and knows what he is doing.

Which just makes the fear of falling off the stupid horse and down a cliff even worse. Geno doesn’t want to make a fool of himself like that.

Reaper smiles “Give it a chance. I am sure you will do amazing.”

Geno sighs and nods. It isn’t like he doesn’t want to do it. He wants to do it so badly. A long time alone with Dust? Getting the chance to talk to him and maybe finally be able to at least start to apologise for his own rude behaviour? The mission itself? Finding this magical substance that reacts to the very biology of both humans and monsters? Geno is so curious how it works and how they manufacture it!

Reaper kisses his hands before he gets up “I need to go check if everything is ready for our guests. I hope you will join me in the throne room soon.” Reaper smiles and gives a tiny bow before leaving.

Geno sighs as he stares at his pack stuffed full with crystals and other tools.

He hopes he can make this work. If only for a little bit.

Geno takes a deep breath before looking at his pack with focus. He opens it removes everything he put into it before taking much more careful note of what he will need.

The basic camping equipment will be taken care of by the maids and servants. Reaper called together a bunch of people who have been on that mountain before to handle the actual camp packing. Including rations. Meaning that Geno’s personal pack will just be for what Geno needs to take along.

He takes a deep breath and picks up a few crystals. These should siphon away any large magical energy. Reaper mentioned that Nightmare thought they will be making these drugs locally. Meaning that they will have to have a large magical powersource. Best to have these along.

Next he grabs his army knife. He enchanted it obviously by embedding some of his smaller crystals into it. It should work to cut anything, including metal cables or worse. He also has some lock picking tools in there. Geno isn’t the best with it which is why he enchanted those as well. But he has seen those slave collars making their way around the areas where the drug is also active and he just wants to make sure there is a way to get those off of anyone.

Geno looks at his many spells and feels a bit embarrassed once he notices he grabbed his most complex and powerful ones. Way to be obvious Geno. Way to make it clear you are desperate to show off. Geno pushes them around and ends up grabbing the one for levitation just in case. It is always good to have that one with you when you go to high places.

Some healing crystals are also a must and one of his more complex and powerful ones is the Calm Emotions. Meant to calm down any aggression. Geno never truly had a chance to test it but if it works as he thought it would it may be useful. Next he grabs his shield crystal and checks those.

He obviously can cast spells without his crystals. Geno is a skilled mage. The difference is that the crystals area already charged and ready to cast the spell without having to still take time to cast it and use his limited mana supply. Geno would just need to activate them.

Geno steps back and nods “That will do.” After that he took some extras of the same crystals and closed his pack. Finally packed.

Geno takes a moment to look at himself in the mirror. He closes his sockets for a moment and takes a deep breath “I can do this.” he opens his sockets and stares at himself “You can do this.” He makes sure to make it an order for himself “You will be normal. You will not make him feel uncomfortable. You will remain respectful of his boundaries and you will not ask pushy questions.” Or better said. Just be a decent person.

He can do this.

Geno puts his bag on his back and leaves his room to quickly join Reaper. A small prickle along his nervous and he feels a rush of excitement come over him.

Dust is here.

Geno grins and rushes to the throne room to get there in time.

Geno gets to the entrance hall and stops there. Takes a moment to calm down. And enters the hall. A glance around shows he is still on time and Reaper smiles at him from beside his throne.

The throne is still the same from when Life was the king of this land. It is a beautiful light brown with all kinds of animals engraved into it. It is as old as the kingdom itself. Geno knows that many other kings look down on it as it isn’t that large or imposing and it isn’t made of a rare material.

Geno thinks it is beautiful. There are spells woven into the throne to make sure it remains healthy and alive. Flowers grown unto the throne to fit the season.

Geno knows that no matter what anyone else says Reaper will never do away with any marks left by Life. When asked he says it is to show respect to the original king that made the save haven that is this land. Geno knows it is because Reaper misses his old friend.

Reaper takes his face between his hands and places a gentle kiss on his skull. Geno feels bashful at the obvious affection in the simple movement. Reaper looks amused “Ready love?”

Geno takes a deep breath and nods “I am.”

Reaper smiles brightly before pulling his hands away from him. Just in time it seems as the throne room doors open. Reaper and Geno look up together.

One of the castle guards bows deeply “The cavalcade of the country of Orchard has arrived.” Geno can’t stop the small snort at the way the guard says it while Reaper just shoots him an amused look.

Geno waits for a moment and feels his soul beat speed up when the group walks in. He immediately finds Dust. Dust is dressed in his knight gear. Completely covered and his mask on. He walks side by side with an older man. Geno studies the other and quickly finds the markings that show he is the captain of the castle guard. Yeah, Geno should have expected as much seeing as Nightmare is very protective of his knights.

Geno gets it. He has his own brothers are all.

The captain bows deeply “King Reaper and royal mage Geno. It is a honour to visit and be allowed to aid you in the name of our King Nightmare.” He stands up and puts his fist on his chest, one top of the royal mark on his armour. The sword with a tree branch and the two birds on either side “I am captain Rogers! Our king send my man and I along to support your troops in the lands to help find people who are causing harm while the Knight will help your royal mage to undo the source.”

Dust just nods as he remains quiet. He is always so quiet and mysterious and Geno just now realises just how good he looks in that armour...

Reaper gives a small nod to show he heard and listened “I welcome you in my land and home. My own guard will fill you in on the developments while my maids will show you where you will be resting for your stay.” Reaper nods towards some of his help and they move forwards quickly.

Most of the guard goes while Rogers and Dust remain. Rogers nods and bows again “We appreciate it.” he glances at Dust for a moment before continuing “Will our Knight and your royal mage move out today or tomorrow?”

Dust shrugs and mutters “Today is fine.”

Geno nods his own agreement as he stares at Reaper. Reaper sees it of course and speaks “If today is fine than today the Knight and my mage will go towards the start of the path up the mountain. To enable them to have an early start tomorrow.”

Dust nods “Sounds good. I will ready the horses.” He turns and leaves the hall. Geno watches him go as Captain Rogers says his own goodbyes before following some maids to meet up with his own guard forces.

Geno turns to Reaper “I am going to go… yeah.” He points over his shoulder with his thumb.

Reaper smiles and nods. “Of course. I will join you soon. I just need to check with what has been packed for you two and I will meet you at the gate.”

Geno nods and leaves the throne room. He rushes through the halls as he ignores the beautiful décor. It isn’t that he doesn’t appreciate the beauty. He used to spend his thinking hours staring at the masterfully crafter stained glass. He rushes towards the exit of the castle as the story told in the large ceiling high windows passes him backwards.

Geno knows the story of course. The story of how Life fled her own war-controlled homelands and husband. How she took likeminded people with her and got her most trusted friend to help guide her people. How she travelled for a long time before finding this paradise. Hidden between the mountains with no one there to challenge their will to stay. How Life made a land worth living in. How she made a paradise focussed on safety and healing. Becoming the original king of this land, throwing away the title of queen as she fled her home and became a king to the people who went with her.

Geno had teased Reaper a lot when he learned that Reaper had been Life’s trusted friend. That Reaper is old as dirt. Reaper had been a bit self-conscious about it. Asking Gen if it bothered him that Reaper was that much older.

Geno didn’t really mind. It wasn’t like he looked old. Quite honestly Reaper was hot for someone who was older than the country itself. Geno does worry that Dust may mind… They may have to ease Dust into that knowledge. Geno thinks Dust already knows because it isn’t a secret that Reaper has been king for a long time but even Geno hadn’t realised just how old he had been.

Then again… It had been Geno who ruined everything… Reaper had been an adult and responsible about everything.

Geno gets outside and blinks in the harsh light. He looks around and spots Dust by a group of horses.

One of the horses near him is leaning into his light touches with its eyes closed. The horse looks smaller than Geno is used to but he doesn’t know a lot about horses. The horses is a dark grey and has black feet… hooves? Area near the hooves. Black lower legs, a black snout and black mane and tail.

Geno slowly gets closer when he notices the horse having violet eyes. Is that even possible? Geno always thought horses to have either brown or black eyes.

The horse looks up and huffs as it seems to get more nervous. Dust just pets it over the snout and it calms down. Geno can barely hear him mutter “Easy Opal. Easy.” The horse, Opal apparently, sniffs and huffs but calms down.

Dust nods and turns to look at him. Geno tries to smile but doubts it looks as relaxed as he wants it to look “Hi… How are you Dust?”

Dust hums and shrugs “Fine.” A moment of silence “You?”

Geno grins “That is good. That you feel fine. I have been busy with this whole… drugs mess. Thanks so much you even want to help.”

Dust shrugs again as he focusses on the horse “Only option. Other option was Cross.” And he pets the horse.

Geno winces. Yeah…  yikes… that is a dodged bullet. Cross is still furious with him.

Geno takes a few steps closer “These are your horses?” he likes horses… maybe that will get him to talk? About anything? Maybe?

Dust nods and pets the horse before him “Opal.” He pulls a hand away and waves towards the second horse “Basalt.” Basalt is a dark brown horse. A bit bigger and has black eyes. Geno must admit that Basalt looks exactly like how Geno would picture a horse, a massive one at that.

Dust continues “You will be on Basalt. Basalt will also carry our stuff.” Which is when the door opens and Reaper walks out with one of the survivalist advisors following him.

Reaper introduces them as Cretic and Cretic immediately starts explaining what was packed and why.

Geno feels his soul speed up at the mention of just one tent. Cretic mentions how it is just not realistic to take two tents and expect to find an area big enough to set up camp for two tents. Not to forget how it would just cost more time to set up and break down two tents every night and morning. Furthermore it would make more sense to share the small space of the tent together because that could warm up the space better for them even if they didn’t share a bedroll. They huff and mention that sharing a bedroll would be much better for surviving the cold temperatures but that their king told them that would not be an option.

Geno is very thankful for Reaper for that. Already sharing a tent space with Dust will be a lot. A bedroll?! Geno would just die. Just end up as his soul pulses so hard it would pulse out of his ribcage. And seeing as it is a stupid tiny shard it would probably hurt like hell too.

Dust looks the pack over before nodding as he grabs the packs and walks over to basalt. Then he clicks it in place and pets Basalt’s head. Basalt nuzzles the hand before standing ready again.

Dust speaks softly as he pets the neck “Basalt will carry packs and let Geno ride him.” he walks over to Opal and pats her neck “Opal. My horse.”

Reaper nods as he looks excited at the horses “It is always a treat to see one of the many horses that walk Orchard.” But he remains back and doesn’t approach even as Geno knows Reaper wants to.

Dust checks the pack before looking at Geno and waiting. Right. Shit. Horse riding. Shit. He isn’t good at this horse riding thing at all.

Geno walks over and chuckles “So… eum… I am not good at this riding thing?” Wait!! Shit?! That came out wrong! “You know! Horse riding!” shoot him now.

Dust either doesn’t notice or care as he walks over and strokes Basalt’s neck “Basalt walks by himself. He doesn’t need to be lead.”

Oh. Well… okay then… Geno walks over and puts his foot in the little foot step thing on the saddle. Okay. Okay. He can do this. He hops on and it isn’t as elegant as he wanted but he is on.

And Basalt moves around a bit but he is on it. He is riding a horse.

Dust walks over to Opal and jumps on without looking bothered in anyway. Opal stands up on her back legs for a moment but then back to normal. Shaking her head around. Dust pets her and she calms down.

Reaper looks nervous at Geno “Will you be okay?” Geno nods. Reaper turns to Dust “Do you need anything else? And will you and the horses be okay?”

Dust nods “This is fine.” He tugs lightly on the reins and Opal turns quickly and Geno is convinced the horse was on her backlegs again. How flexible and quick is that horse?

Dust lets Opal walk a few steps and Basalt just follows. No need for Geno to direct it at all. So this is what Nightmare meant with Dust being able to easily guide up to three horses up the mountain.

And they leave the castle ground. They follow the path down from the castle to the main city and Geno watches in awe as Basalt just does it himself without any needed guidance from Geno. Hell probably through any wrong directions from Geno too.

They walk through the city around the castle and Geno can see people look on in awe. Geno gets it. Dust is like a knight in shining armour trope but instead of just being in shining silver armour on a perfect white horse. He is in dark leathers and dark colours with a cloak. A hood covering his skull and a beautiful panther mask on his face. The gloves and mask to fully hide his skeleton traits. On top of a mysterious rare horse which still seems slightly wild and uncontrolled yet it listens. Yeah… Geno gets why some girls sigh and stare wishfully.

They leave the city and trod on.

Geno can’t help but just watch the other. So in his element and controlled. Geno is happy to just stare as Basalt walks just a tiny bit behind Opal and Dust. Geno smiles as he speaks “You are unbelievable good with them…” Is that enough? “It is amazing.” Is he overdoing this? “You must spend a lot of time with them.”

Dust doesn’t look around as he shrugs “Just like the last two times you asked. I still train them.”

Geno can’t help but flinch and look away. Any nerves he had before return with a  vengeance. Right. Why did he think? Geno looks down and tries to find his voice “I… I know that… I just… I thought… Nevermind.” He thought maybe a compliment would go over well… But maybe it seemed like a dig instead? Like Geno hadn’t taken him seriously when he said he worked with the horses? Like Geno hadn’t believed he worked hard? Geno isn’t sure.

Dust remains quiet as they travel.

Most of the day is silent after that as Geno just lets familiar scenes pass him by. As it is still early spring the air is still cold and crisp and the ground is covered with snow. The mountains in the distance are covered with snow as well.

Geno glances down at the snowy ground. Seems like the horses are fine as they walk on. Geno looks up and glances to the side before he mutters “This… probably is a stupid question. How are the horses going through the snow without issue?”

Dust tilts his skull slightly. Geno notices because his hood moves a bit. But then Dust answers “Generally horses are completely fine in all kinds of weather. We did make sure to get their hooves checked before the trip.” And he looks ahead again “It is just west until we need to go north correct?”

Geno nods “Yeah. We need to go where there is a path between the two large mountains. We can go up there and start navigating towards the mine.” There will eventually be some markings near the roads to show the direction. A less travelled path to lead them there.

Dust is quiet for a moment before nodding “You will need to start either leading” oh please don’t let him ride in front and show Dust how terrible he is at this “or you will need to keep the map out and tell me the directions when we get near.”

Oh thank fuck an out “I can do the second one.” Geno will just die if he knows Dust is behind him judging him for how terrible he is with riding a horse. Well, Geno knows he is bad at this thing and Dust obviously know and is probably judging him already but no need to showcase just how bad he is at it!

It is okay. It is fine. You may not be able to ride a horse or anything but you can do magic! You will be able to show off your magic and how that is your element and Dust will think you are cool!

Geno tells himself at least. Fuck. He just doesn’t want him to hate him even more.

They keep going west as they travel in silence. Geno is playing with the reins as he keeps staring at the back of Dust. Trying to think of something to say which will actually start a conversation. As the time slowly goes by Geno becomes painfully aware that he isn’t sure what to talk about. Asking about Dust will just make him uncomfortable or annoyed because Geno just knows he will be repeating questions again. Asking about how his homelife is going will also just be met with suspicion because of Geno’s stupid past mistakes. Same for his fellow knights, family or hobbies. But Geno can’t just talk about what he likes. All he really cares about for hobbies is magic and that is also part of the whole start of the mess.

Geno honestly wishes he could go back in time and punch himself in the face and shake himself. If he had just been just not such an ass! If he had just been a normal person to Dust. All Geno had had to do was be a decent person.

Reaper had asked him if Geno had been okay with Reaper liking Dust and trying to see if it could go anywhere. He had been honest about his attraction and starting affection. Had asked Geno if Geno was okay with it or if Geno preferred for them to remain exclusive and for Reaper to take more distance from the other. Geno had said he was fine with it.

Geno had felt very secure in how Reaper felt about him and about their relationship. Which is part of the reason why Geno had said sure to begin with. The other reason was much more selfish and jerkish. Geno had been curious and fascinated about Dust’s magic. He had felt that power and energy and almost static in it. Geno is unsure how it could be and had been morbidly curious about how it worked.

They both had known that Dust had had a thing for them. A crush maybe, Killer’s meddling had made it obvious.

Geno isn’t proud of the fact that he used those very feelings. Both from Dust and Reaper to enable him to unravel secrets and mysteries that weren’t Geno’s to learn. Of better said, force Dust to speak about.

It just got worse when Geno realised his own feelings had changed. When it was no longer just a simple curiosity but actual interest.

Geno is honestly happy Dust ended up stopping him. Made him back off…

The magic had felt hurt and distressed. So very hurt and panicked.

Geno had… He wasn’t even sure what his plan had been after that. He backed up and just felt worse when it turned out that Dust had also cut off any contact with Reaper. But Geno had been too prideful and too much of a coward to admit to Reaper what he had done.

At least until Error knocked it out of him that is. Or knocked some sense into him.

Dust hadn’t even wanted to look at him…

“Geno?”

Geno snaps out of it and glances up. Dust is looking at him, from behind that mask, while being turned towards him “Is this the correct path?”

Geno turns to the way pointers and quickly grabs the map Dust mentioned before. He checks their location and is quickly able to figure out where they should be. He checks the distance and nods “This is the right spot. We go north from here. We will come by a little settlement, it isn’t on any official map but it is the settlement everyone who goes on tours to the mountains goes by.” It should be calm really. With it being early spring and so the touring season hasn’t started yet.

Dust nods and turns the way they are going. Geno can swear that Opal is looking unimpressed at him before huffing and walking the way her rider directs her.

Basalt calmly follows and Geno grabs the saddle tighter as he shakes for a moment. Okay. Okay. He is still on the horse.

They trot on.

Geno makes sure to keep the map open and folded in a way to make is easier to figure out where they are. Best do the thing he can actually help with.

With horse they make very quick time and Geno watches as they reach the settlement very quickly. Geno glances at their map before looking at the settlement “We got here very quick.”

Dust hums as he makes their horses keep moving “Not a surprise. We went straight towards this area over following the roads. We cut back on travel time.” He glances at the obvious very close by mountains before looking at him “We best try to make a start with the climb before it is time to set up camp.”

Geno nods “Indeed.” He tries not to remember what their camp includes. Sharing. A tent. Don’t think about it. Don’t.

The follow the path and soon walk through the valley between the two mountains. Geno glances down to reassure himself he still knows this part before speaking “The path will soon curve towards the right. We want to go off path there and stay left. Otherwise we will end up on the wrong side of the ravine.”

Geno glances up as he speaks and sees Dust nod “Got it. Left it is.” He tugs very lightly on Opal’s reins and Opal looks up and around as she walks.

Geno can see the curve in the path in the distance and looks around for the small markings of the other hidden path.

Reaper told him that in the past many people tried to climb the mountains without guidance and got hurt badly. To stop this Reaper got some explorers together to actually map out the mountain and find some nice trail options for the people. It started small but grew with time and became a nice and healthy income for the country and a nice economy boost.

Opal stops for a moment before making another sharp turn and walking straight through the foliage. Basalt follows without a moment of hesitation and Geno had to keep the plants out of his face as he keeps a tight hold on both the map and saddle.

It is unpleasant but they get through it and the area opens up a bit more. There are still trees and uneven ground but it is better than before.

Dust glances around and looks back at him. Geno checks the map and nods “We just need to keep going North for a while longer. Try to go up where we can. It isn’t until we are be the ravine that we need to look for another path.”

Dust hums as he turns his skull to look at that sky. He tilts his skull for a moment before nodding as he faces forwards “We can still keep going for a little. Try to make it to this ravine at least.” and they set off again.

Geno smiles as they follow. Making sure to keep a phalange on the map to mark where they are.

But in the end he can’t help but look around. Even with spring not quite having started it is gorgeous in the mountains. Geno hadn’t visited them often, completely his own fault of course, and it was great to get to experience them again.

The partly frozen dirt but the tiny tiny patches of grass peeking through. The trees all look bare with only some traces of snow but those tiny dots of green to signal the leaves are returning.

He takes a deep breath and sighs happily. The crisp clean air. It very light scent of the many plants and flowers.

“You like the mountain?”

Geno blinks before laughing “Yeah I do. You wouldn’t think it with how rarely I visit but I love it here.” He needs to visit more often. Maybe after Fresh fully moved all his animals Geno can convince him to go on a trip with him? Geno would also invite Error but Error seems very against leaving Nightmare’s side.

“Too busy?”

Geno blinks before shaking his skull “Not exactly. It is more that I keep myself too busy to go.” he laughs “Reaper wanted me to explore and get the chance to tour them the moment I set foot on land here…” Geno really need to go more often “Reaper did take me on a skiing and snowboarding trip once. To help me relax.” He can’t help but look hopeful at Dust’s back “Maybe… Once this whole thing is over… You can go on a mountain tour? See the nice parts? I am sure Reaper will be happy to get the best people for it. For you and everyone else too!” Make it less personal. Don’t single him out again.

Dust shrugs “Maybe summer.”

Geno nods as he tries to think quickly “Summer is great to visit the mountains! There will be many wild flowers and animals. I think Reaper told me there are a few species that other kingdoms thought to be extinct that live here still!” think think come on what else “Not to forget the many mountain rivers and waterfalls! There are also the Three Lakes of course but those are a bit out of the way. But there are also smaller lakes all around that create beautiful little spots where you can camp!”

Dust is quiet for a bit and Geno worries he pushed too far again. He is pushing his luck all over again isn’t he? Why can’t he just be normal when Dust is near?

Dust gives a soft hum as he speaks “The others will like that.”

Okay! Not ruined quite yet. Geno grins as he leans forwards before having to quickly right himself. Right. On a horse. Focus Geno. Don’t fall on your face “Winter is also great. Have you even been skiing or snowboarding before?”

Dust snorts for some reason as he shakes his skull “Winter and I don’t mix.”

Geno pauses and tilts his skull slightly confused “I mean. That is what winter coats and stuff are for. Don’t worry. We would make sure you are ready for the mountain and everything.” Wait! “I mean like all of you with you. Not just you. I mean if you came alone you would also be taken care of.” Which is when Geno decides now is time to just keep his mouth shut for a bit. Why is it that the only charismatic skills he has is about manipulating people and lying and not about honest feelings and basic conversations?

Dust is quiet for a bit again before speaking “Will keep that in mind.”

No. Please don’t keep Geno’s terrible conversation skills in mind.

Geno is trying to think of a distraction and sadly his mouth continues to speak instead “Then again. It is fine if winter isn’t for you. Summer is great! The sun will be warm and high and that makes it easier to go to the highest peaks without freezing quickly. People like to try to climb to the highest top in the summer but that is a few months track. They often start mid spring or late spring for those. I personally never really went further than just the main path and a few smaller paths. But the flowers are nice! They are about any colour, shape and scent you can think of! My favourite of the bunch actually grows in the winter but it will still remain in the summer in a smaller form. It is real cool. One of the scientists explained that the flower doesn’t actually use insects to pollinate but instead these very tiny mice that travel around. I know, also a shock that those aren’t in like hibernation or anything. Apparently They have very thick coats and are light enough that they hardly leave indents in the snow. Making them perfect to actually travel in the winter when things are calm without getting attention from predators.” Oh please someone shut him up. “So these mice eat like decaying stuff as well but use the living flowers as shelter when the predators are near. Camouflage and everything. And the flowers themselves mask their scent. Which in turn makes the mice covered in their pollen which they move to the next flowers and new places.”

Geno finishes his speal and is horrified to realise just how long he kept talking about stupid flowers and some random mice of which he doesn’t even remember the name. Why can’t he just?! Be normal?!

Dust hums before looking to the side “I hear water.”

Geno blinks and quickly looks at the map “I… I think it is either the water in the ravine if we are still low. Or one of the many smaller rivers and small waterfalls if we are higher.” He looks around to see if he notices any marks for either option. Geno hadn’t been paying attention to if they were climbing up or not.

Dust nods as he seems to consider their options before looking at the sky again “We need to camp.”

Geno’s soul starts to speed up. Fuck why is he such a mess? He was never this much of a mess with Reaper. Maybe it was because Reaper just makes everything easy and okay? He makes it feel safe. This is so stupid why can’t he just… Ugh!

Basalt moves and Geno is quick to grab onto the saddle to stay stable. That was a close one.

They keep moving for a bit longer. Geno must admit he is starting to feel nervous when the forest area around them starts to darken. Even with Geno knowing that they both as skeletons would be fine with their eye lights it still makes him uneasy. He doesn’t like being unprepared. And walking through the forest as it slowly gets darker without them having a set plan on where to set up camp? It makes Geno uneasy.

Still he remains quiet as he lets Dust lead them. He isn’t going to be difficult about being uncomfortable or nervous. It is nothing compared to what he put the other through. And this isn’t even with any real reason. It is just Geno being a control freak and perfectionist.

It is okay. It is okay.

The light around them is slowly changing towards a yellowish orange as it gets later and later when Dust finally stops them. It doesn’t look any different from any of the other areas they walked through but it must have something special about it.

Dust jumps off Opal and walks towards the packs by Geno and Basalt. Geno watches as Dust calmly unclicks the tent and walks towards the side. Dust doesn’t even look up at him “I will set up the tent. Can you do the fire?”

Fire. Yes! He can do the fire! Geno grins and nods “Of course!” He swings his leg over the horse as he saw Dust do and steps down. His left foot touches the ground and he grins. Easy. He moves to take his right foot out of the saddle and unto the ground only to not be able to do so. And then he loses his balance.

Ugh. That hurt. He blinks open his sockets and sees Basalt look at him with a tilted head. Clearly unsure what to do with Geno. Geno looks at his leg and sees that his boot got stuck on the footpiece of the saddle. Which is why he couldn’t pull free and why he ended up losing his balance.

Great.

“Are you hurt?”

Double great!!

“Just my pride. And my clothes probably.”

Dust hums “Should be fine. No mud in this area.”

That explains why the ground is so hard. Even so Geno manages to twist his boot free as he pushes himself up. He dusts himself off and is relieved to see that Dust was right. Just some dirt. No mud and no rips. That is good.

Geno walks over to where Dust is setting up camp as he sits on the ground. Geno draws a circle in the sand before laying a simple rock in the middle of it. He concentrates and thinks about the nature of fire. The way it can be created with flint and steel. A spark of energy created by the simple rock and metal. With that in mind his magic sparks and a red flame appears, seemingly burning form the rock itself. Not burning anything around it and remaining in the circle he drew in the sand.

“Mh.”

Geno jumps and turns quickly. Only to find Dust right behind him. Holy shit he is quiet!

Dust ignores his jump “Why magic?”

Geno blinks. He turns back to his newly made campfire. He just wanted to show off but now feels self-conscious about it. He thinks for a moment before speaking “I mean… We are still trying to be stealthy right? This fire will function as a normal fire. Just not leave any traces or create smoke. And aside from the little light for our area it won’t be obvious from further away.” And he also really wanted to show off that he could do stuff after the horse disaster.

Dust tilts his skull before nodding “Fair enough.” He walks over towards the horses as he starts removing the packs from Basalt. He lays them by Geno’s side and Geno makes himself useful by unpacking a few of their rations. It is to make sure their mana stays filled up in case of emergency.

Geno lets the fire warm up their food as he watches Dust undo the saddles and laying those over some tree branches. He undoes the reins and grabs a brush to brush out the parts that had been covered with either the saddle or the head piece of the reins.

Geno frowns “Don’t they need to be tied to a tree or something?”

Dust shrugs “Some do. I prefer them free to run if needed.”

Geno frowns more “Aren’t you… scared something will scare them off?” and leave them horseless with all their camping gear and the long track ahead?

Dust shrugs again “Even if they do. They will return.” He finishes brushing the horses before walking towards the fire side and sitting not quite across from Geno but also not next to him.

Geno hands him his food and they eat in silence.

Geno keeps his focus on his food but it is gone rather quickly. Then he just remains close to the fire. Staring at the magical flame. Trying to not be weird or a creep by staring at the other.

Oh fuck he should have just had Reaper send another mage instead of him. He can’t do this.

Some movement to his side. Dust speaks up “We will need to get moving early tomorrow. As soon as it is light out. We best go to bed.”

Oh fuck he can’t do this.

Dust continues speaking “Can you turn off the fire? The light may attract something and the tent is insulated anyway.”

Geno nods “Sure. No problem.” He clicks his phalanges and the fire turns off. He takes his time getting up as he hears Dust disappear into their tent.

Their. Tent.

Fuck how will he be normal about this? He can’t.

He moves towards the tent and pauses by the open flap before pushing it aside.

Oh god their bedrolls are side by side and the tent is so small he has to crawl.

Dust is already rolled up in his. Seems like he only took off his boots but further sleeps with everything on. Okay. Just. Just do the same thing. Even if it will be a bit uncomfortable.

He undoes his shoes and gets into his bedroll. It is still a bit cold but Geno can hardly feel it. Not when he can feel the slight warmth from Dust beside him.

The tent is dark and silent as Geno just stares at the ceiling of it. Trying to ignore the fact that Dust is laying right next to him.

It is so quiet. Geno isn’t breathing and he is sure Dust isn’t either. There is a tension in the air and between them or maybe that is just Geno being hopeful? He isn’t sure anymore.

Geno isn’t even sure if he can sleep like this. He is too aware of the other and Dust being so close and fuck why wasn’t it like this with Reaper? Why was it so much easier with Reaper? Was it because he was focussing on Error being missing? Because he had been more focussed on the fact he was the king and Geno himself was his royal mage? Is it because he already messed everything up once and is terrified of ruining things again?

His mind keeps spiralling even as his sockets grow heavier and heavier.

--

“Geno.”

Mmmh. No… he doesn’t want to wake up… The air outside of his little cocoon of blankets is cold and he does not like the cold.

“Geno.”

Just a bit longer.

A nudge to his shoulder and Geno goes to give whatever servant is waking him the stink eye. Reaper always lets him sleep in and-

That is Dust. Looking annoyed and shit he isn’t wearing his mask yet even if he can spot it on top of his hood.

Geno stares and searching for the words “What?” Just end him.

Dust just looks neutral. Downright bored if Geno didn’t know that was just his neutral face. Dust speaks again “We need to go soon. Can you warm up food while I clean up camp?” and he waits.

Geno blinks before remembering his excuse of the day before “Right! Of course. Right away.” He searches for his boots and finds them quickly enough and oh stars he really did sleep in his travel gear.

Geno never truly cared about how he looks or how others see him. Before he just didn’t care and with time it just wasn’t important. It wasn’t until he started to live in Reaper’s castle in Sanctuary. That is when he started to notice people paying attention to him and being disapproving.

Again, at first he didn’t care. He didn’t give a fuck what some snobby rich person thought of him and still doesn’t. But he quickly realised that how he holds himself and how he looks effects how people see and think about Reaper so he started to take a bit better care of himself and his appearance.

He leaves the tent and goes to the same spot as the night before. It is still dark out but luckily Geno has reasonable good darksight. He holds his hands together and focusses on the nonburn fire he wants to summon again.

It is as easy as breathing and a moment later the fire is burning and shining before him. Glistering like perfect gems. Geno checks their packs and is happy to note that Dust already removed those from their tent which makes it possible for Geno to just grab the food and warm it up easily.

As it warms up Geno shoots some glances over his shoulder. Watching as Dust is already rolling up the tent again before walking over to the already saddled up horses. Seems like Dust had already been awake for a while.

Geno frowns as he looks at the fire “You were awake for a while already?”

Dust pauses his movements before he continues “Not for long.” He tightens the rope around the packs on the saddle.

Geno frowns as he gets the food ready to eat before undoing his fire spell “Still… I know I… haven’t been the best person.” Which is putting it mildly “And I know stuff isn’t just forgiven. But while out here I want to help. We are on this mission together after all…”

Dust turns to stare at him. His face unreadable. Geno misses when Dust at least allowed him to see something beyond his careful neutral face. Dust turns back to the horses “Don’t mind.” and he puts the reins over Opal’s head and Opal shakes his head. Dust messes with his hood and mask and the mask is on his face “Ready?”

Geno nods before actually answering “Yeah. Food is heated.” He hands Dust his warmed food before looking with dread at Basalt. Basalt at least is nice enough to stand still as Geno struggles on top of the horse.

Getting on the horse on equal ground with two free hands it one thing, trying to climb on top of one in the forest on top of a mountain with food in one hand is a whole other situation. Geno ends up managing it and didn’t even need to use magic to aid him.

Geno looks up to see Dust already on Opal’s back. The place that had been their camp is cleaned of any traces of their stay. Dust turns Opal around and the two of them set off again.

It is still very early. Dawn only just broke and there is only the very starts of sunlight making it easier to see.

They follow up the winding path up the mountain. Geno nibbles the food and knows he is pulling a face. The heat made the food a bit better but it are still rations.

Geno glances at Dust and notices he is already done eating “You like rations?”

Dust tilts his skull and shrugs “Not the best but not the worst. Healthy.”

Right. He is used to missions and having to eat rations on the go “That is fair… Must admit that ever since I moved to Sanctuary I have been enjoying the food.” He sighs “The fish is fucking amazing. Then again it is the country’s export.” He nibbles on his food “Orchard was all about like… grains and stuff right?”

Dust shrugs as he mutters “Mostly for cattle. Used to be a lot about meat. When Nightmare took over the country switched to fruits and orchards. Now it is mostly fruits and stuff like it.”

Geno gives a slow nod “Right… the weather and climate changed after Nightmare took over right? None of those weather rituals.” The rituals that country used to do fascinated Geno endlessly. The strange way they used magic to do stuff and make large changes. Larger than most simple or complex spells should be capable of. Permanent drought is very intense and very hard as it forces the unguided and wild being of nature itself to bend to it. Things that are alive are always harder to work with magically. It is why Geno prefers the more direct and unchanging nature of rocks and gems.

Dust shrugs “Nightmare doesn’t like the rituals.”

Geno nods “I get it.” blood magic and sacrifice magics are always disliked. Fascinating but very harmful ways to practise magic. Though both are very strong and have many ways to even alter reality. Necromancy is a close one after those two but not quite on the same level of power. Necromancers just have the worst rep and bad PR.

They walk in silence as Geno looks around the area. It has been so long since he was last up here, he really needs to visit it more often.

The horses stop and Geno looks forwards only to freeze. Because that is a much larger and wild river than it should be.

Dust tilts his skull slightly “Did we make a wrong turn?”

Geno shakes his skull as he double checks their map “We shouldn’t have. I checked as we walked we are right where I thought we should be…” he frowns as he focusses on the map “There should just be a small river here with only a few stepping stones to get past it. Not this large and very much not this wild.”

Dust hums as he keeps looking at the river “Other way?”

Geno frowns “There is another path… but that means we have to go back to the main path and move to the other side of the ravine and follow it along until we find a way further down and back up on another side of this mountain. Instead of going west we would need to go much further up north before climbing the mountain up into the south west side you know?” he follows the map with his phalanges as he checks the routes.

Dust hums “Over the river it is.” Only for him to get off the horse and pet Opal before nudging her. And Opal just jumps over the river before looking back smugly.

Geno stares with his mouth open.

Dust walks over to him and Basalt and stops by the side “Scoot.”

Wait what?!

Geno blinks “What?” his voice sounds much higher than it should be.

Dust tilts his skull “Scoot. A bit back.”

Geno gives a slow nod as he moves a bit back. Dust then just jumps up and over the side and oh god he is right in front of him and where does Geno leave his hands.

Dust gets the reins in his hands and shoots him a look over his shoulder “Hold on.”

Where?!

Dust nudges the horse and Basalt starts to move and Geno holds unto around his waist. Especially when Dust makes Basalt speed up.

Geno tries to focus on just holding on and not on the fact of how warm Dust feels. He is thankful that Dust is wearing armour and leather as that makes it impossible to really feel the other and-

Oh shit they are jumping.

Geno holds on tightly and plasters himself against Dust’s back.

A moment later Basalt lands on the other side of the river and comes to a slow stop.

Dust hums “Up and over.”

Geno is not letting go as his whole body is tense “How did you know he would be able to make it? Why not jump over with Opal?”

Dust hums “Opal can jump alone…” and he shoots him a look.

Right, and Geno can’t. Great.

Shit he is still holding the other and following the barely there curve of his body and- Geno lets go and tries to scoot backwards. Trying to keep his emotions and magic calm when he starts to slide to the side. Dust quickly grabs his arms and tugs him back fully on Basalt as he himself gets off easily.

Geno can just fucking die. This fucking sucks. He is making stupid mistake after mistake and making blunder after blunder.

Dust doesn’t seem bothered as he is already walking over towards Opal and jumps on her back.

Geno frowns as he stares down. Not even sure what to say at this point. Sorry he is a mess? Both with anything horse related and Dust related? Geno is probably making this so much harder than it needs to be.

Geno glances back at the river and mutters “How did you know that Basalt could carry both of us and jump over?”

Dust answers easily “Is Horror’s horse. He is strong.”

Geno blinks and looks at the massive and muscled horse he is riding. Wow. That would explain as Horror is a big guy and carries large weapons. Geno looks up “And that is why you picked Basalt?”

Dust nods “Also easy to lead. I always lead Basalt.”

Geno frowns “Always? What if Horror is riding it?”

Dust sounds amused as he speaks “Horror can’t ride a horse. Worse than you.”

Geno blinks confused. Seriously? Horror is… worse somehow? Geno speaks up without thinking “I almost fell like three times already…”

Dust nods “Better than Horror. Basalt good at balance for a reason.”

Geno looks at Basalt and sees how the saddle he is on has many spots to grab on. Same for the reins now that he truly studies it. Horror having difficulty riding a horse… It would make sense to train a horse to be easy to ride for guests as they listen to someone else. Geno had notices that Basalt didn’t as much look around but just watches Opal and Dust.

Geno also only now realises that Dust messed with the reins and probably put them on like the lead setting over just for Geno to hold onto to balance. He only got them ready to lead the horse when Dust was the one riding it.

He…

Oh.

Huh.

Geno can’t help but smile a bit as his soul does a little flutter “Thanks… I appreciate it…”

A long silence follows that and that is okay. Geno doesn’t truly expect an answer.

“No problem… shared mission.” Dust’s answer is quiet.

Geno grins wider as he can’t help but get the feeling that Dust is being shy. He used to be shy a lot and Geno finds it adorable all over again. Even before his interest changed from just fascination in his magic to feelings for him he always found the other cute. Which probably says  a lot about him that he found a murderer and ex-smuggler and ex-crimelord adorable but Geno is just going to not bother thinking about that specifically.

They don’t come across any other rivers as they walk along the path around the mountain. They talk a bit more about the plan. Which is finding one of the lower mine entrances and entering through those before systematically searching the mine.

Which will be the most time costly part of the mission. As the mines are complex with many tunnels. Geno got the copies of the last made maps but they may not match up perfectly anymore as the mine system is older.

They get in a rhythm after that. They travel throughout the day and when dusk starts Dust sets up camp as Geno keeps an eye on the food rations and the path they must take.

They don’t come across any rough rivers again as they move along the mountain steadily. Geno is only a little sad about it but he keeps his mouth shut. He will just have to be thankful for the chance he got to be that close to the other.

It takes them a total of three days but they finally spot it in the distance. A quarry with a large landmarker that they used to mine, mostly for granite. As they needed that for the construction of the new cities. Geno is pretty sure some of the originally made buildings are still in the capital standing tall and strong. The mine and quarry both just got too unstable to continue to mining operations safely and Reaper had to discontinue the work at this location.

Dust looks around the area “Large mine…”

Geno looks over and nods “It is the oldest and largest in the country.” Which is also why there was a lot of pushback when Reaper closed it for safety reasons.

Geno knows that Reaper took the time to search for a new place to start mining to make sure that the many people working at this location didn’t lose their jobs. Reaper had spent a long time looking for a new location and as the people had to wait Reaper used money form the treasury to make sure no one lost their income.

Geno honestly wonders how some people could say that Reaper was a bad king.

Dust nods as he looks around. Geno wishes he could see his face to figure out what he feels or thinks. Now Geno just as to wait for Dust to speak, which he doesn’t do a lot. Guy is shy and quiet.

Dust turns to him “Where is the entrance?”

Geno frowns “I mean. It should be right there.” He turns and points only to blink. Why is it collapsed?!

Dust hums “By your face. It should be open.” He gets off of Opal and walks over to the opening into the mountain. He looks at the wood and the many many rocks filling up the opening.

Dust speaks up “Wood is cut through. Support beam and all. No marks of a natural rockslide.”

Geno frowns “Sabotage…” That is rough “Well… Good news, we found the mine they are located in.”

Dust hums “Bad news… Entrance is a no.” Dust looks at the entrance before looking back at Geno “Blast open?”

Geno frowns and shakes his skull “Can’t risk it. As I said before, the mine is instable and may collapse. Not to forget the mountain is at high risk of avalanches.”

Dust continues to looks at him “Alternative?”

Geno checks the map and nods “There are more entrances all over the mountain. They are just harder to reach.” He points at some of the minecart rails going out and around the mountain “Helps with the many carts. Most of the mountain is full of tunnels.”

Dust nods and walks back to Opal as he gets on “Where to?”

Geno looks at their map “A bit down again and then we need to follow a narrow path to get to the trail leading to the next possible entrance.”

Dust nods as he turns their horses back to the entrance of the quarry. “Okay.” and they are off again.

Geno directs them back the way they came before getting to the thin ledge they carefully walk over. Dust only asks him how long the track will be once, which Geno answers with it should be about half a day.

Geno just hopes that this one is actually open for them to use.

They follow the path and by the time the sun is starting to set they come to the second entrance, one near a river which leads all the way down the mountain.

Dust stops them and stares ahead. Geno follows his line of sight and- “Those motherfuckers.”

The second entrance is also locked off.

Dust nods “Apparently.” And he jumps off his horse.

Geno blinks “What are you doing?”

Dust doesn’t answer out loud instead he gets the pack for the tent. Geno nods “Fair enough. Camping time.” He gets off Basalt and he is proud that he hasn’t fallen while getting off the horse since day one.

Geno goes about his usual routine to get the fire going and to warm their food as Dust is quick about the tent and the horses. It is nice at this point. Both doing their thing in silence. Geno hands Dust his food before going into the tent to sleep, having set a timer on the magical fire for an hour.

Geno sighs as he gets comfortable in the bedroll. Ready to sleep as he is now much warmer in it. Honestly the magic woven into the bedroll is amazing. He will need to figure out how to do this. Maybe add it to Reaper’s weighted blanket. Reaper gets cold easily and the added warmth to his comfort blanket will be great.

His mind is already slowing down with sleep when he hears very soft shuffles. That is good. That is Dust then. Getting some sleep as well.

Geno lets out another yawn before he lets sleep claim him.

--

The plans ends up being to keep going up the winding paths up the mountain. Which is a rather high risk at the moment as they mountain is traitorous this time of spring. But Geno figures at this point that none of the entrances will be open.

Which leaves them going with the path going straight to the highest one instead of going one up at the time.

Geno grumbles as he has to hold on tightly to the saddle “Why did those idiots even lock everything up? Don’t they need stuff?”

Dust hums “Nah. Only times they go out is when they smuggle and trade. Otherwise lock away and preparing for next trade session.”

Geno blinks as he looks at the back of Dust “Really? How do you know that?”

Dust just shoots him a look over his shoulder. Geno is still unsure how Dust can be this expressive while still wearing his mask and not showing his face. Maybe Geno is just good at figuring out Dust at this point?

He likes that idea…

Dust shakes his skull but Geno thinks he heard a small snort before Dust answers “Used to smuggle. And do crimes. Never messed with drugs however. Too high risk.”

Right… Geno knew that. Because Reaper did a background check on all the Knights before he went to even speak with Nightmare about searching his country for Error. Years and years ago.

Geno can’t help but be intrigued “What was that like? I used to spend a lot of time on the streets but never spend much time in the black markets…” Too much risk for a kid with no adults to protect them. Children got abducted from the streets very often at his old home.

Dust is silent for a bit and Geno looks to the side “Sorry… pushy again?” Why can’t he just…

Dust shakes his skull “Not pushy… surprised…” he seems to think for a while “It was easy money.” And he leaves it at that.

Huh. Well. Geno gets it. Which he makes sure to mention. Dust shoots him another look and Geno shrugs “I used to be young before. No one would hire a child for a normal job and I only had so much time with full time school to actually get money. Shadier business gives better payout.”

Dust keeps looking at him before giving a short nod.

Geno smiles as he relaxes a bit. He thinks it is going well. Maybe Reaper was right. And he just needed to start some conversations and try to be calm and mindful of the boundaries Dust sets.

Geno at this point is honestly just enjoying the track. It is relaxing to be out in the open air. Conversations are going well. They got their little routine going and Geno has managed to get the other to at least let out a few amused snorts and gotten him to look back at him. Geno thinks it is going very well!

By the fifth day Geno is almost disappointed to see the mineshafts in the distance. Meaning that his time with Dust is starting to come to an end.

Dust hums as he looks at Geno. Geno forces a smile to his face and nods “That is the one.” Dust nods and leads their horses closer to the entrance before he pauses.

Geno frowns “Something wrong?”

Dust looks back at him before looking at Opal “Don’t want them to be hurt.”

Geno blinks as he looks at the horses “I mean… We don’t have to bring them all the way up there. We can leave them at a lower spot? Out of view and free to run if need be?” Geno doubts that of course. As Geno has no doubt that Dust and him will be able to take care of those drug dealers easily.

Dust seems to relax and nods. Then he directs the horses a bit closer to start the final climb.

They get to a small patch of trees a bit away from the last entrance. Dust gets off and gets to work on making sure the saddle and reins aren’t ready to be used to ride Opal. Geno gets off himself and Dust does the same with Basalt. He spends some time to check both horses before nudging them deeper into the hiding place. Opal looks very unamused as she tries to walk back over to Dust. Dust clicks his teeth and makes a motion with his hand. Opal huffs and snorts before holding her head high as she trots into the forest.

Geno crosses his arms “Can’t believe I am saying this but that horse is a diva.”

Dust just nods and shrugs as Geno laughs. They walk towards the mine entrance and Geno frowns. It is so quiet here… It gives him the creeps. Dust starts to walk slower and slower and Geno can see him glancing around.

Geno gets to the entrance when a hand grabs his shoulder and tugs lightly. Geno looks back at Dust. Dust just shakes his skull as he continues to stare at the entrance.

Geno frowns “I know it feels… off. But it is the only entrance that is still open.” Geno makes sure to keep his voice low and just above a whisper. They are still being stealthy after all.

Dust frowns before pointing towards one of the higher up rail systems for carts. That disappear into the mountain.

Geno frowns “We can just use this entrance.”

Dust points to himself and then to the new entrance he found. Then points at Geno and waits. Geno just points towards the entrance they are in front of. Dust sighs but nods. Then he turns and starts climbing the wall to reach the new entrance he found. And he disappears inside.

Okay.

Geno casts a simple light spell before going into the mine.

It is old and deserted. There is dust and dirt everywhere. Geno uses his little ball of light to shine out and get a feeling for the distance. The ground is uneven and the walls are all cut out roughly. The tunnel leads onwards with a small decline to it.

Geno follows it. As he walks he keeps looking around him and back. Having the feeling he is being watched.

Geno tries to remember the layout of the mine he studied. He never really studied the upper parts beyond the basics. If he remembers correctly it will open up to a larger area soon. The centre of the upper part where all the mined goods were collected and counted and noted down.

He feels a shiver go up his spine as he feels magic right behind him. He doesn’t think as he turns and makes the ball of light explode into a flash. A groan of someone else and Geno rushes deeper into the mine. Now running with just his natural nightvision to guide him.

Geno continues to run deeper into the mine as the footfall starts to follow him. Shit shit shit.

Dust was so right he should have gone with him. Why the hell did Geno think he knew this kinda stuff better than Dust who had actual experience with missions like this?!

Geno goes to turn a corner but feels the magic charge up and quickly dives to the side to dodge the incoming blast. Purple fire magic?

Before he can get up and continue running hands grab his shoulders and he feels something click around his neck.

“Stand up and stand still.”

His body moves without his permission as it follows the order. Shit. The slave collar. Shit shit shit shit shit.

Geno tries to force his body or magic to move and act but neither seem to be able to. He is forced to watch someone walk out of the shadows of one of the many tunnels. Human by the looks of it. A badly kept beard and very pale and thin skin. Large marks of too little sleep under those eyes. But the eyes are focussed and there is a grin on his face.

The man smirks “Well if this isn’t a treat! I know my people said I had guests wandering the mountain but I never expected it to be the royal mage himself!” he grins as he puts an arm around Geno’s shoulders.

Geno glares and tries to speak but his body just won’t move. Get your filthy limbs away from him.

The man smirks “I am Rover. The head and brains behind this operation. Come come! I will show you the whole place and give you a tour!” he looks downright excited as he moves.

Geno can’t stop his body from moving after the man. Following the order he had been given.

As soon as Geno can he is burning this man to a crisp. Serves him right for trying to control Geno.

Geno can’t even study the people behind him as he can barely move his eye lights as it is. He is stuck following Rover as Rover has a bounce in his step. Fucking freak.

They exit the tunnel into a large open space and this is the main operations of this mining outcrop he had been looking for. As expected it is the place to be. The elevators are operational as they carry boxes up and down into a lower area or up to the small office building near the top. People are walking around closing crates.

There is this strange machine that some people put some kind of powder in. At the bottom these tiny crystal shaped rocks tumble out. That is it. That is the drugs that are at large in the city.

But it isn’t just one large machine. Geno can already see seven of them all working.

Rover grins “Beautiful isn’t it? The small doses we distributed was just the test. Knowing that the drugs are as well received as they are means we can expand! It is a matter of time before everyone wants a bit of my supply!” he walks towards one of the machines and sticks his hand into a crate that is being filled up. He shows the handful off as if he is holding something precious instead of something deadly and dangerous.

Rover grins “Especially now.” he chuckles “The royal mage liking this stuff? That will boost sales so high. Especially as you will make sure the king doesn’t try to stop it anymore.”

Geno glares as he tries to make it obvious he will ever much not do that.

Rover grins “It is okay. You will just need a tiny taste test.” He drops most of it before walking over with one single piece.

Geno tries to pull free from the control keeping his body locked. He tries to blast the other. But nothing. He can’t even mentally activate one of his many crystals. All ready with potent magic to protect him.

Nothing he can do.

He slowly feels his fear increase. He has no idea how his magic and soul will react to the drug. His soul isn’t a full soul after all. Just a shard of one. Geno has a lot of magic already that his soul shard overproduces. He has no idea what will happen if he has to take this and his soul is pushed even further.

Rover holds out his hand “Take thi-AAAAH!” A knife hits his arm.

Geno feels a bit of relieve as the order doesn’t take effect. A dark shadow lands behind some of the people guarding Rover and Geno can see a sharp bone attack impale one of the guards with a crack of electricity.

The guard drops down. Rover turns and Geno can see him look panicked as he whispers “A Knight.”

Right. Rover is originally from Orchard. He would know the full meaning of the masks. Rover looks around panicked as Geno just watches Dust take out guard after guard. Moving fluent and with a grace he hadn’t had had the pleasure of seeing since that one fated training session.

Rover takes a few steps back and yells out “Hold an explosion spell to your own skull!! If he continues to attack you will shoot it!”

Geno feels his soul freeze as his magic starts to unwillingly form the spell. His arm aims at his skull and he can feel the energy behind the magic. He feels the unwillingness of his magic as he has to aim it at his own being. Dust freezes.

Rover pants as he looks around “Okay. Okay. Much better don’t we all agree?” He glares at some people “Get another collar. Now!”

One guard shakes “Boss we don’t… we don’t have more ready. We didn’t have the magical chips prepared to make more.”

Rover pants as he looks around “Then get the magic dampers!” He glares as he looks frantic “What a big show. Since when does the king of Orchard care about other countries?”

Dust just stares from behind his mask. Unbothered.

Rover glares “What?! Not going to speak?”

Dust doesn’t say a word again.

The guards rush back with some magic dampers. Rover considers it as he looks between Geno and Dust. Clearly thinking.

Rover points to Dust “Hands and arms out. Or the king of Sanctuary will have to look for a new royal mage!”

Dust frowns but gives a slow nod as he holds out his arms. Rover snaps his fingers and points at the guard holding the dampers before pointing at Dust.

No. No don’t do that.

The guard puts two dampers on Dust.

Rover sighs and grins “There isn’t that better?” he looks at Geno “Dispel that attack.” Geno’s magic does as told and Geno wants to spit in Rover’s face. Rover grins as he swagger walks over to Dust. He boldly removes the mask which he holds up proudly.

One of the guards looks nervous “Boss. Euh… You shouldn’t… the masks… The masks are important and…”

Rover shoots the guard a look “Yes I know. But I think I am owned it. After all! I outsmarted the Knight and the royal mage!”

Geno watches as Dust glares at Rover. Bloody murder so clear in those mismatched eyes. Geno feels so guilty. He should have just trusted Dust’s instincts and snuck in with him through the other entrance that he found. Why did Geno have to be stubborn? He thought he would have been able to handle this easily with his magic.

Dust snorts “Debatable.” Rover glares at him but Dust isn’t even looking at Rover anymore. He is just looking around the area. Looking bored and unimpressed. Like he has somewhere much more important to be.

Rover sputters and glares “I caught you both! I have this set up! I am on my way to be the greatest and most influential person in the world!”

Dust snorts “Country I guess… and for druggies…” and he shrugs again.

Rover glares and points at Geno “With the most powerful mage under my control it is a matter of time before I have all I deserve!”

Dust raises a brow. Glances at Geno. Then back at Rover. And shrugs again “Not as powerful as my king.”

Rover freezes for a moment as he worries the crate he is next to. Frown on his face “These drugs will get me people. Get me forces. I will be able to take all I want. Even… even Nim’s son won’t stand a chance against me.”

Geno never understood why they wouldn’t say Nightmare’s name.

Dust tilts his skull and has an unimpressed look on his face “You don’t even dare mutter his name. Why do you think you are strong enough to defeat someone with the power of a god?”

Geno frowns before connecting the dots. This man doesn’t know that Nightmare lost those powers already. Dust is counting on the fact that Rover has been out of the loop on the gossip inside of Orchard. Especially because the news that Nightmare is no longer powered by that ritual never left the inner circles until a little while ago.

Dust is counting on this man’s ignorance.

Rover shakes his skull “I will have more people. People who can end him.”

Dust tilts his skull “Only reason you caught me is because I let you.”

Rover freezes as he worries the crate. His eyes shooting between Geno and Dust. Then he gets a grin. He points to some man and snaps his fingers “Get the blockers on the mage.”

Geno blinks but soon he feels his magic be locked off. Rover than points to some guards and to Dust “Keep. Him. Still.” And he undoes the slave collar from Geno’s neck.

Geno feels his ability to move return and the first thing he does before he can even feel beyond the numb feeling is hit Rover right in his stupid ugly mug. Rover groans but guards grab Geno and hold him still as Rover rushes to Dust. And puts the collar on him.

Geno feels himself freeze as Dust just takes a deep breath. Now wearing two blockers and the collar.

Rover grins “There! Much better! Now! With you under my comment I will be unstoppable! Those fellow Knights of yours won’t want to attack you! Surely!”

Dust just stares ahead. Not a single emotion on his face. Rover turns to him and shudders as he looks around for a moment before looking back “Shit that is unnerving. Hey! Speak!”

Geno can spot it. The way that the corner of Dust’s mouth twitches slightly. Almost as if he would be grinning or smirking if he let himself. Instead Dust remains looking neutral as he stares at Rover “You don’t even know what I can do.”

Rover frowns as he worries the crate. Then he points to Dust and speaks “Do a spell and don’t aim it at any of us!”

Dust’s sockets and eye lights look so fucking amused. Geno can feel the static grow and grow and next thing that Geno knows there is a large blast of lightning originating from Dust that blasts outwards. Rover and the guards rush and dodge where they can.

Geno sees the fried circuits of the magic dampers and the slave collar drop to the ground when a hand grabs his hand and pulls him free from the guards who fell back with shock.

Dust and him are running into one of the many tunnels and Geno is trying to get the blocker off but he can’t.

Dust stops them in a tunnel and takes one of his hands “Can’t unlock yourself. It has fail safes.” He studies the bracelet and Geno can’t help but just stare at Dust. Dust must have known. Dust must have known from the start that his magic would be powerful enough to fry all of them at once.

Geno hadn’t know that Dust knows lightning spells! Those are hard to master and very powerful! That is insane to just have as a go to spell.

Geno focusses “On my hip is a knife. It should be able to cut through anything.” Dust doesn’t even check as his hand reaches the spot and finds the army knife Geno took along just in case.

A cut later and one of the blockers falls of. Geno feels his magic return to him and smiles. Dust gets to work on the match of it when they hear running. Which makes them both start to run again.

Geno follows after Dust as they get to a large cavern with an even larger drop. They run across the creaking and instable pathways as Dust glares “Why?”

Geno pants as he runs “I told you! This place is almost fully hollowed out. It is why it was closed! It is instable!”

They get to the end of the pathway only to find it a dead-end. Dust gets ready to turn only to see more of those people coming.

They spot a ledge by the cavern wall and Dust jumps from the pathway to the edge of it. He manages to land and Geno feels his nerves get even worse. What does he do? He can’t do that?

Dust turns to him and holds out a hand. Oh no. Geno looks back and sees the other people coming. He slowly climbs over the railing, having a dead grip on it still as he glances down. It is so dark and deep down there. Dropping in there would be his end. Easily.

Dust snaps his fingers and Geno looks up. Dust holds out a hand and looks calm. Everything about him says it clearly. He will catch him.

He will catch him.

He will catch him.

Geno lets go of the railing and sets off hard. His hand finds Dust’s and Dust pulls him right against the wall. Geno’s soul is pulsing wildly as he stands there. Dust tugs on his hand and starts shuffling along the ledge, away from those following them. Geno follows him even as he is starting to feel sick.

Geno never thought he had a fear of heights before but this feels different.

They are moving along the edge when Rover and his people start shooting at them. The ledge they stand on starts to crumble and suddenly they are both falling. Dust manages to grab unto the ledge with his hand and Geno can feel that Dust has a very tight grip on his hand.

Geno can see the pained look on Dust’s face and Geno is reminded of Dust’s weaker shoulder. Shit… this can’t be good for him.

They hang there and Geno can see Rover getting his guards and people to aim their magical attacks at them.

Geno looks down and the movement causes some of his crystals to be visible.

His crystals.

Oh duh!

He looks up at Dust “Dust! You need to let go!”

Dust looks at him like he is an idiot. Geno grins back “Let go of the ledge! We will be fine!” Dust is clearly unsure and Geno is trying to figure out how to explain it to him. But then… Dust lets go of the ledge.

There is no time to consider what exactly that means as suddenly they are falling.

They are falling and panic starts to fill him.

Geno pulls on Dust to make him closer and Geno pretty much warps as much around Dust as he can. Next he searches for the right crystal.

Please please please- There!

Geno grabs it and tugs it free from his hat.

He holds the crystal against both of them and prays it works as he focusses on the magic.

He feels it and tugs on it. The crystal turns to dust and Geno can feel himself, and Dust thank everything, start to slow in their descent.

They fall slowly in silence and darkness before they land on the ground without as much as a scratch.

They sit on the ground for a moment. Both breathing harshly as Geno lets the adrenaline slowly drain from his body.

That is when Geno suddenly becomes painfully aware that he is still holding unto Dust tightly and that they are pretty much in each other’s laps! Geno quickly pulls away from the other and makes room. Dust however isn’t looking at him at all as he keeps his hood pulled tightly over his face.

Dust gets up first, still not looking at him, as he rubs and rotates his fragile shoulder.

Geno frowns before getting up “Hey… It is totally okay if you don’t want to but… I do have healing magic?”

Dust is silent for a bit. He glances up for a moment before nodding “Fine.”

Geno smiles as he takes a seat. He thinks about using the crystals but decides this is better to do himself.

Dust sits before him and pauses his movements for a moment. But then he undoes his outer armour and puts it aside. Next he removes his hood from his being and Geno sees even more inner armour under the hood with an undershirt under that.

Dust removes the inner armour and frees only his hurt shoulder from the undershirt.

Geno can’t help but stare at the bones. Because he can see very tiny specks of grey on the white bones. But that can’t be what he thinks it is right? Because that is what happens to skeletons when they start dusting. Their bones turn a grey before falling apart in dust particles. Geno wants to touch those spots but he stops himself. Don’t be weird. Don’t be pushy. He hovers his hand above the shoulder and concentrates. Trying to feel what the injury is and what it needs.

Geno can feel the dull ache in his own shoulder. It seems like he overstretched the joints and that it had too much weight put on it. Geno can also feel it. The way the mana lines deep and hidden in the other still has tiny breaks in them. This must be why his shoulder is still hurt after that hit from Horror from a year ago at this point.

Geno stops himself from just pushing healing into those areas as he speaks “Your joints are overstretched and too much pressure was put on them as well. It is easy to heal… I… I also noticed that your mana lines have tiny cracks in them. I think this is what is causing you your weaker shoulder now… I can try to heal it a bit as well…” Only if he is okay with it.

Dust thinks it over before giving a short nod.

Geno feels excitement fill him as he concentrates on his magic. Help him. Heal him. Just make him feel better. Geno wants to be able to help him and make him feel better. Anything.

The soft ache he had been feeling in his own shoulder disappears with each tiny bit of magic he pushes into the old and new wounds. Dust’s shoulder easily accepts the magic. Even as Geno can feel static from Dust’s own magic. Clearly not as okay with this intruding magic as Dust’s body is.

Geno makes sure that his own magic remains calm. He just wants to help. That is all he wants. Please just let him.

The magic doesn’t cast him out luckily and the healing is finished much quicker than he thought it would. Geno pulls his hands back as he catches his breath “There… all done.” Casting spells on the fly always takes more energy than the carefully planned and crafted spells he has.

Dust rolls his shoulder and frowns as he touches it for a moment. He glances at him before quickly getting dressed again. Geno can’t help but feel anxious “Is something wrong?” he thought he had it all now. He thought he healed the other.

Dust pauses and mutters “Feels good…” and he tugs the hood on tighter, his hand reaching towards the spot he normally leaves his mask before frowning even more.

Geno grins and nudges their shoulders together “It is okay. We will get it back and show Rover he was a fucking idiot…” Talking about idiot “I am sorry… I should have listened before when you said we shouldn’t go through the main entrance… I got overconfident.” He messed up.

Dust shoots him a look and shrugs “Easy fix.” He sighs as he looks up “Don’t look forwards to the climb.”

Geno actually starts to smile as he holds up one of his crystals “Oh don’t worry. I got just the spell for that.” Dust looks intrigued at the crystal.

Geno searches the place before spotting an empty mine cart. That will do nicely. He jumps into it and looks at Dust, Dust tilts his skull but follows his lead.

Geno makes sure it isn’t stuck before he grabs the crystal that he has charged with levitation magic. He holds it near the cart and concentrates. The magic needs to be transferred to the holding place of the crystal into the cart itself. He imagines that the cart is magnetically charged and that this one matches the one around it. To make sure that the same pools push each other away.

The crystal falls apart and-

The cart rocks as it slowly starts to float. Dust remains very still as he holds unto the cart tightly. Geno grins as he looks up “Up we go!”

It is kind of like an elevator. They rise slowly up as they sit in silence. Geno sighs as he leans against the cart “What do we do?”

Dust hums as he keeps a tight hold on the cart. Clearly uncomfortable with this way of transportation. Geno blinks and gives him a softer smile “It is okay. The magic will make sure it remains stable and not swing or anything. We will be up in no time.” Dust shrugs as he keeps looking up.

Geno feels a bit bad for taking him on this ride without a warning. Geno sighs as he looks up. What do they do…

Dust speaks softly “We need to stop the production…”

Geno nods as the original plan returns “We need to stop the machines. I can stop them easily enough but the problem is Rover and his man.”

Dust shrugs “I can deal with them.” he frowns as he glances at Geno “But fighting and keeping an eye on you is… harder.”

Geno rolls his eyes. He doesn’t take it personally. “I know I know I am not a fighter. It is fine. I have a crystal to make a shield but I need time to set it up.”

Dust nods “Hiding place for you. I go in and end them. Then you lock up stuff.”

Geno laughs “Sounds a lot easier than it will probably be.” Dust doesn’t look bothered.

They get all the way back to the pathways they were on before and Geno is happy to note they see no one. Dust points further up “We can hide you there. Easy to get around.”

Geno nods and makes the cart fly even higher. They get to an upper cart rail and Dust gets out first. Geno goes after and parks the cart sideways. Just to make sure it doesn’t fall off.

Dust leads him through the upper rail system. They very quickly get back to the main area where they see Rover screaming at some of his workers. About them having to go down to make sure Geno and Dust are actually dead. The workers however clearly don’t want to as they quote the fact the whole area is unstable. Rover reminds them that he will end them if they don’t go. So they can pick taking their chances in the mines or take the certain end by Rover’s hands.

Dust hums as they watch “He is sampling his own produce.”

Geno nods “He is overcharged and his soul will implode soon enough if he keeps using it.”

Dust nods his agreement “Someone else would just take over. Best clean out the whole nest.” And he readies a sharp bone in his hand. He glances at Geno “Shield?”

Geno nods and holds up his needed crystal “Ready.” Dust gives him some space to work with and Geno has the shield up very quickly.

Dust nods before just jumping down and landing right on top of Rover who he stabs right through the chest without a second hesitation. Dust grabs his mask and puts it back on his face. The other stare in shock which Dust uses to attack.

Geno should probably be doing something other than just staring but can you blame him? Dust moves with a grace and confidence that rivals professional dancers. Dust is so comfortable and familiar with himself and his skills that he moves between the forces as if it is nothing.

It is not even a fight. It is a slaughter. A beautiful slaughter.

Dust finishes the last one and moves all the bodies into the same area before looking up at Geno. Geno grins as he undoes his shield “No worries. I got this.” some slow falling and he is on the ground without as much as a scratch.

Dust nods before looking at all the drugs and chemicals. Geno grins “Time to put everything in a crystal. Can you help me move everything into that tunnel start?” he points to one that hasn’t been dug out far yet “I will use that as the vault for now. Until we can send people up here to properly dispose of everything.”

Dust nods and the two of them set to work on moving everything into the tunnel. Aside from paperwork. All the paperwork Geno can find he puts on his person to get back to Reaper as proof.

It takes a long time to get everything to the right spot. Geno sits near the materials and machinery and can’t help but stare in wonder “This is so strange! These machines take the magic from found items and push it into smaller sugar cubes which gain those strange forms as the magic settles!” Geno can’t help but grin. “It is fascinating. So fascinating. I never even thought about taking the magical energy of non-edible stuff and binding it to sugar of all things!” The way the machine pulls the magic out, just leaving the empty husks of the minerals and plants they put in. The fact that made the sugar with chemicals to bind it easily to the magic. And then how the sugar itself almost crystalised and grew spikes to show this infused magic. The difference within the original form and the new form must make it possible for the machine to influence the intent! It is so weird that these people managed to find a way to get a machine to edit the magic as usually that is impossible because of the lack of intent or purpose.

Geno looks back with a grin but frowns at the way Dust is looking away with his arms crossed “We done?”

Geno nods “Yeah… we are done…” what… what is wrong? Maybe he is anxious to get back to his horses? Geno turns back to the small tunnel and gets to work on writing the sigils and symbols for the needed spell. Luckily he won’t need a lot for this.

He touches the stone and takes a deep breath. The rocks change shapes and forms right before his own sockets as the rock all start to grow crystals, Stalagmite and stalactites all to enclose the items hidden within. Geno infuses it with more magic and the new barrier crystalises and forms a stable seal, as Geno does this he pushes his crystal to drain magic into the barrier as well. If anyone were to open the barrier the spell will drain all the magic from everything in the tunnel. Making sure that no one can get to it unless they get a neutralising spell from Geno to stop that from happening.

Geno nods “All locked away. Let’s get out of here.” Dust nods and is already leading the way out. Huh…

Geno frowns as he goes after Dust. Feeling unsure about what went wrong.

They leave the mine but neither of them says a word. Geno is not sure what to say or what could be bothering the other. Maybe nothing is even bothering him and Geno is just assuming stuff.

The get to the horses and Dust is quick to get both ready. Geno stands by the side as he makes sure the proof they found is safely tugged away on his person.

Dust has Basalt ready first and Geno climbs up as Dust gets on Opal’s back.

Geno gets the map out of the pack and studies the route “We can take another path down. One that would be shorter than the original one we took. Mostly because we would be able to take the path straight down instead of going by every other entrance.”

Dust nods and follows the direction Geno points out.

They just get a bit down the path when a loud yell stops them.

Geno looks back confused as Dust just sighs annoyed “He doesn’t know when to die.”

Rover stands on top of the mine gate glaring. A gun in hand.

Geno hums as he toys with one of his crystals. Charging it quickly and getting the shield to activate within seconds “It is honestly quite sad.”

Dust tilts his skull curiously “How is he even alive?”

Geno rolls his eyes as he looks unbothered at Rover “You told me remember? He sampled his own supply. I can only assume it put his soul and magic into overdrive, which effected his human physic.” Geno shrugs “I am not a biologist. I am not sure.” Still, surviving a stab through the chest is impressive. Geno can see the blood covering his front form here.

Dust blinks and keeps staring at Rover “Didn’t know that was a thing.”

Geno shrugs again “Euh. It normally isn’t. It isn’t healthy for the soul.” Dust nods.

Rover glares at them and shoots the gun, the bullet hits the shield and turns to dust, “Stop ignoring me!”

Geno is about to make another comment when he hears it. A soft, very soft, rumble.

Dust noticed too as he looks around. Geno looks anxiously at Rover “No need to shout.”

Rover has a crazed smile on his face as he pulls out an explosive “That is the thing. If everything I did was for nothing. If all of it was for nothing. If this is my end.” He grins “I am taking you two fuckers with me.” And he throws the explosive back into the mine.

A loud explosion and the rumbling gets worse. Rover turns and throws out his arms “Now lets embrace the end!! A white! Cold! Embrace! Of death!”

Geno can see it on the mountain. The snow on the mountain shifting. He turns to Dust panicked “Avalanche.” Dust is already turning Opal around and pulling on Basalts reins.

Geno however yelps as he shifts and gets unstable. He holds unto the saddle but he does not feel secure at all.

Dust glances back at the snow and looks back at Geno “Shield?”

Geno shakes his skull “Not strong enough to hold off an avalanche.” At least. He doesn’t think so. They never had to test it! It is about blocking attacks! Not to withstand natural disasters.

Dust however nods as he jumps off of Opal. Next he goes to her side and cuts off the saddle and throws it off of her. Packs included. He does the same to the reins. Wait is that Geno’s knife?

Geno blinks confused as Dust just pushes him further up Basalt’s neck and out of the saddle. Doing the same with the saddle on Basalt’s back.

Next Dust pushes him back a bit and jumps on top of Basalt as well and takes the reins. He tugs on it lightly and Basalt starts to speed up, Opal following them without needing a comment.

“Hold on.”

Geno doesn’t even think as he locks his arms around Dust’s middle as he leans forwards.

Basalt is off like a bullet. Speeding down the mountain and jumping over and rushing past terrain. Geno isn’t sure what to do so all he does is lean closer to Dust and try to copy his movements. Just stay plastered against his back as he moves with him.

The snow is rushing after them as Opal runs by their side. Needing no rider to keep up and stay on course.

Basalt is a beast. And Geno means this with the upmost respect. Basalt goes over and past the terrain as if it is nothing. While Opal needs to make some small side jumps or multiple smaller jumps Basalt just sets off and clears any gap easily. They rush past the many pine trees but even with the lighter carry load Geno can still hear the snow starting to catch up.

The snow is much faster than they are. But unloading the packs and freeing up the horses to enable them more movement freedom may have bought them some precious minutes…

Opal is running ahead of them before she darts to the side. Dust doesn’t think as he leans to guide Basalt into the same direction. Geno leans with him and feels fear enter his soul as he sees why Opal changed directions. There is a huge cliff and ravine right where they had been going.

They are now not even running straight away from the coming snow anymore. Geno tugs himself closer to Dust. Feeling more panic reach him.

Dust frowns as he looks around for a moment before he just turns Basalt to be aimed at the avalanche!?

Geno looks at him panicked but he looks focussed and determined and Geno decides he will just shut up and trust the other. He pushes his face into the soft leather and scarf around Dust’s neck and shoulders and tries to keep his panic inside.

Opal is faster and jumps up and into the moving snow before she keeps trotting slowly forwards. Basalt can’t do the same as gracefully but does a similar move.

Geno feels the shock of the snow’s force and feels himself start to slide slightly. He just holds tighter unto Dust. Warm and stable Dust.

Dust keeps guiding Basalt using the reins. Managing to keep Basalt on track to not be swept away by the snow. Following the path that Opal leads them down.

Geno glances a look up away from the shoulder and spots what Dust is aiming for. A rocky outcrop. Standing out of the snow like a beacon.

Another rumble and Geno glances up to see another wave of snow start to come lose and barrel down the mountain straight towards them. His arms tighten around the other “Dust…”

“I know I know.” Dust keeps the horses on track and manages to get to the rock. Opal gets up easily and turns to bite some weird leather strap on Basalt’s reins and tugs on it. Helping Basalt up the rock.

The rumbling of rushing snow is louder than ever. Dust points towards Opal and makes a click sound. Opal gallops towards the edge of the rock and jumps!

Only to clear the ravine with ease and to turn around to wait for them.

Dust guides Basalt to look into the right direction. He pets the large horse and mutters “Just this Basalt. Then we can take a break.” Basalt lets out a huff of breathe before starting to run and gallop towards the edge.

Basalt jumps and seems to make it before the backside starts to slide off. Panic overtakes his soul again as he holds unto Dust. Fear gripping every part of his mind and soul.

Then Opal grabs the reins again and tugs as Basalt works hard to get back up the ledge.

And they are on it.

Moments later the second wave of snow comes over the ledge and falls into the ravine.

Geno remains frozen against Dust’s back as Dust pants “That… was close…” Geno just stares at the ruined landscape behind them. Trees had been pulled from the ground and are sticking out of the snow. If he had been in there he wouldn’t only have gotten buried but also risked getting hit by one of those trees or other stuff hidden in it. Only to be knocked out and to freeze under the snow.

If he wouldn’t have been dragged down that ravine for a long and painful fall only to be covered with snow if he even survived it.

“Geno?” Geno shoots Dust a look.

Dust isn’t looking at him. He is messing with the reins “You… euh… arms?”

Geno frowns as he turns to look over Dust’s shoulder that he had been pushing  his face against. He still has his arms in a dead grip around Dust.

Oh!

Geno pulls away only to yelp as he starts to fall off. Dust grabs him to keep him from falling. With Dust’s help he can actually get off of Basalt without the assist of the saddle.

As soon as he is on the ground his knees go weak and he falls to the ground fully. So thankful to be on solid ground again “Oh thank the stars… That took years off my life.” His soul is still beating and pulsing wildly from the stress. He may have to visit a healer once he is home to make sure he didn’t overstress his soul with this trip.

Dust lands next to him and pets both the horses before crouching down next to him “You okay?”

Geno laughs as he still sits there shaking “How are you this calm?! It feels like my soul was trying to escape my body while we were trying to escape… How did you stay that calm?”

Dust tilts his skull a tiny bit and mutters “Trained. Taught… Prepared.”

Geno blinks. Right… Dust is a Knight. He trained and practised responses and plans and everything for these kind of missions.

Geno laughs and looks down “Makes sense…” fucking hell he must look so useless to the other. Geno is just. He is just so out of his depth. This whole trip it was surprise after surprise and Geno never did anything like this. Sure He can do magic and knows magic but he never had to… this is not him. And he truly just made stuff more complicated.

Geno continues to sit in the snow as Dust walks over to Opal and pets and checks her over. He nods to himself before walking over to Basalt. Dust puts his and Basalt’s heads together and leans against the horse for a moment as he stares at him. Then Dust checks his neck and his back before checking the legs and freezing.

Dust crouches down and lightly touches a leg, only for Basalt to step away and moving a bit around before standing still.

Dust looks so sad. Geno frowns as he searches for the right words “Is… is something wrong?”

Dust looks to the side as he tugs on his scarf and hood “Basalt’s legs got hurt…”

Geno frowns. Isn’t that like very bad news for a horse? “Can… Can it heal?”

Dust shrugs “Not here.”

Geno frowns. Okay. That is bad. Because to get somewhere safe or even close to someone to help the horse they need to get down the whole mountain. And Geno doesn’t know a lot about animals. But thanks to Fresh he knows enough to know that climbing down a mountain with a wound on a pet’s leg is a very sure way to make them unable to recover fully.

Geno feels so bad… Basalt got them through an avalanche and now what? He can’t walk anymore? Something that is very important for horses?

Geno frowns at his hands as he pauses. Wait… He looks over and speaks up “If… if you are okay with it… I never healed horses before… But I can at least see what I can do and help? Make it a bit better so he can safely make it down the mountain and towards someone who can fully help him?”

Dust stares at him before giving a tiny nod. Geno pushes himself up from his spot on the ground as he walks over. He pauses by Basalt’s side and looks nervously at Dust “Make sure he doesn’t kick me?”

Dust gives another small nod.

Geno gets to Basalt’s side and holds one hand near a leg. He could have used one of the prepared crystals with some basic healing. But he may as well do it this way. This way the healing is much more powerful and he can feel what is wrong where.

He takes a deep breath and uses the familiar spell. He can feel his soul give an unhappy ping as he tries to heal again so shortly after the last time but he will be fine. It is just to give Basalt a boost. He quickly feels what is wrong, or he thinks he does. His joints feel overstretched and stressed. He also can’t really put weight on one of his legs which puts more pressure on the other to take over. He focusses on the pain in the bad leg first. He feels along the area and gets the feeling there is a break there. He finds it and pushes healing into that area. Promoting the energy and magic in the animal to locate towards that area and promote the area to heal much quicker than it naturally would heal. Mending the wound with new bone.

That is the worst wound by far. Next he focusses on actively relaxing the stretched joints. Which is easy to do, the only thing that complicates things is the fact that the horse has four legs compared to Geno’s two and Geno has to mentally estimate where the pain in his own arms would be relatively located to relax it.

But he does it and has to pull back after a moment. He is panting lightly “That should do it… Can’t do much more as I am afraid I will heal something wrong.”

Dust is by Basalt’s side and gentle touches the hurt spots of before after which he looks at him shocked. “You healed him?”

Geno rubs his neck as he shrugs “Yeah? Told you I could do it…” he glances at Basalt “Did I get everything?” Geno really doesn’t know animals and their anatomy well at all. Maybe the very basics if he is being generous with his knowledge.

Dust seems to just stare at him before looking away, Not really giving an answer as he pets Basalt. Geno frowns as he looks at him.

He feels exhausted. It has been such a long day and Geno still feels tired.

For now he just stares at the forest around them. Letting the cold air calm his racing soul as he listens to the forest settling after the disaster of snow. He can hear some trees creaking in the distance as the snow leans against it.

“Come.”

Geno blinks as he finally looks away from that ravine they had almost fallen into. He looks back at Dust and sees him next to both horses with Basalt’s reins in his hands.

Dust nods towards the forest “We need to get out of the open. Nights get cold.” And he waits.

Geno nods as he gets up, he sat down again? And goes over to the other. Dust leads the way and Geno follows after, making sure to use Dust’s footsteps in the snow to easily move through it. Opal seems to track ahead as she listens and tilts her head. Looking around before looking back to see if they are following her. Basalt walks slowly through the snow. Taking careful steps. Clearly trying to not push his own body too hard.

Geno gets it. He honestly wants to lay down and not move for a while. He is exhausted.

“This will work.”

Geno blinks and focusses again. They are in a very enclosed ring of trees. It is tight but the trees give a reasonable amount of cover. Geno looks at Dust. Dust however has already removed Basalt’s reins and hung those over a branch. Dust is walking around and shoving snow aside as the two horses walk to the side and stand together. Opal digging at the ground and seems to be unearthing roots and other stuff.

Dust stops as he studies the floor. Most the snow has been pushed aside and some of the dirt hidden beneath has been revealed. Dust is now moving some rocks into a circle and cleaning that part out of snow as well. Dust looks over at him and nods to the dirt patch.

Geno moves over to the spot and just sits down. He could have died… multiple times today he got within an inch of dying… He never would have seen Fresh or Error again. Or worse… The slave collar had been on him… He hadn’t been able to move his own body, his very magic hadn’t been responding to him and had been forced to listen to that… that… that freak!

Dust curses and Geno looks up to see him frowning at some flint and steel. He reaches for it again but some magical sparks fly of his hand as soon as he gets near the tool and he pulls his hand back with a flinch.

Right… He had to overuse his magic to fry the slave collar, the dampers and to get everyone to back off…

Geno scoots close to the ring of stones and places one in the middle of the circle. He spots a stone which will work and places it in the middle. He concentrates and his soul gives an unhappy pulse about him pushing his magic a lot with the stress he experienced but it works as a fire starts.

Geno takes a deep sigh as he relaxes near the warmth it gives up. Some movement and Dust is sitting by the fire as well. Staring at the flame.

Huh… He had removed his mask. Geno wonders when he did that but doesn’t ask as he just leans close to the non-burning flame that warms him until his core.

Neither of them speaks and that is okay. He wants to rest for a moment.

They sit there for quite some time and Geno lays his skull on his legs as he lets his core recover from the magic he used. He may be skilled and powerful but in the end he still only has a shard of a soul compared to normal monsters. He is limited with his magical stamina. And it fucking sucks. He wanted… nevermind.

Dust has gotten up and seems to be searching the direct area. He comes back with some long sticks and starts putting those together to make a makeshift tent thing. A tipi he believes. It is small and in a direct circle around him and the small flame. Dust comes back inside and sighs contently.

Geno continues to lean on his knee as he stares at him “Why did you make that?”

Dust looks at the tipi around them and answers “No stuff… Need a place to stay tonight… Small area warms up quicker.”

It is even smaller than their original tent had been.

Geno frowns “Shouldn’t we rush down the mountain?”

Dust shrugs “Why? Those people couldn’t have survived that avalanche. We aren’t stealthing anymore. Basalt can’t carry anyone with his legs and Opal won’t like you riding her. Best to take it slow and walk. Today we rest and recover from what happened.”

Geno nods as he stares at the fire. He is so happy. He needs a moment “Good thing the flame won’t burn us. It will be fine to leave it on throughout the night.” Geno can know as he once rolled into the fire in his sleep. It was quite the shock to wake up inside his own fire. Not as bad as Error having once climbed into the fireplace to sleep in the flame Geno left in there to warm their home. Geno was sure he would have had an actual soul-attack over that one.

Dust nods “Neat.”

Geno watches Dust for a moment. Happy to just watch the other warm his hands on his magical fire. Content. They are okay. They are okay. Geno can’t help but really study the other’s neck. He can’t quite see it and curses the fact he didn’t think about checking it before while he had been healing Dust. What if frying the collar hurt his neck? Or frying the dampers hurt his wrists? Geno didn’t notice anything but the worry is there.

Dust stretches out as he looks at Geno “We should sleep.”

Geno nods as he lays on his side of the fire. Dust lays on the other end and Geno looks at the back of Dust’s skull.

He will probably feel better after some rest. Even if he doubts that his sleep will come easily.

Still he closes his eyes. His mind slows down as he just listens to Dust moving and breathing. The horses outside move around as well and the by now familiar sounds relax him. He is okay.

He is save.

It…

It is late?

Geno isn’t sure how much he slept.

Or if he even truly slept.

It is cold.

He yawns and opens his sockets a little bit.

The fire is behind him now. Instead of in front. But Dust is still in front of him.

He is warm.

Geno sighs as he pushes his skull closer to the other.

He is so warm… Like on the horse earlier. Warm and stable.

Geno yawns and pushes his face into the back of his hoody. Mmh… this is nice.

So nice…

Geno feels his awareness slip away and surrenders to the darkness again.

--

Geno yawns as something delicious wakes him up. He sits up and rubs his eyes as he glances around confused.

He is in a wooden tent thing? He can spot his own magical flame right beside him. Giving him a nice source of heat on this cool morning.

His mind is hazy. What happened the day before?

They set camp to recover and… went to bed early?

Wait they skipped food all together? Probably why Dust is cooking.

Geno gets up and glances at his dirty clothes. Right. He slept right on top of dirt which was slightly muddy because of the snow it had been laying under before. Geno does a quick spell to clean himself up a bit. Make sure he is presentable.

The day before had been a mess but now they are free to travel home! No stress. No mission. Just getting home safely!

Geno feels a sort of excitement as he exits the small stick made tent and spots Dust outside. A normal fire by him which he is roasting some plants on. Huh.

Geno walks over and grins “What you cooking good l-” ABORT! “friend!!”

Dust doesn’t look in his direction. Seemingly very focused on what he is making “Roasting roots… nutritious.”

Geno smiles as he sits nearby “Smells good. When I cook stuff with magic it becomes edible but never quite good.”

Dust shrugs “Needs intent… Magic doesn’t give that?”

Geno nods “We make magic by infusing it with emotions. Same for intent. But magic can’t have intent. We can layer our own intent into a spell which we can feel but in the end magic can’t give intent. So… meh cooking.” He laughs and shrugs. He was always a terrible cook.

Dust nods and shoots him a glance “Always use magic? Easy stuff?” he nods towards the fire and the meal he is making.

Geno grins and shrugs “You can call it cheating. Maybe people do. I never saw it as cheating. I always liked to call it using the skills I have available to make stuff easier for my brothers and me.”

Dust nods and glances at him “Why cook if you can’t? Parents?”

Geno laughs and shakes his skull “Nah. They weren’t around.” And if he ever met his mother or any of those useless fathers ever again he would sooner hit them in the face with a fist.

Dust nods as he gets up “Food.” He hands over a stick with some slices roots and some plants and it smells delicious as he can smell some herbs he smelled before in the kitchen. He gets eating and hums happily.

“It is good.”

Dust looks amused “Basic.” Then he grins a tiny bit and mutters a bit softer “Should make basic food yourself more… taste difference between that and magical prepared food.” And he turns back to his meal.

Geno stares. Did… did Dust just… tease him? That didn’t sound mean. More of a joke? Geno grins as he eats his meal. It suddenly tasting many times sweeter.

They eat their meal before cleaning up. Dust puts the reins back on Basalt and keeps a tight hold of it as Geno uses his map to lead them down. Geno is so lucky that he had had the map on his person, some for the proof of the whole operation in the mountain.

They walk in mostly silence as they search for a path to follow.

They have to track through the forest for a while with a few near slips but they find an old path rather quickly with little difficulty.

Geno grins as he checks the map “This should be the one. We should just follow this south and we will be off this mountain eventually.” And even if they are on another path that one also just needs to be followed southwards until they get to the bottom.

Dust nods as he changes the reins on Basalt. Making it so he doesn’t need to be lead anymore. Trusting the horse to walk with them and to be able to safely make his way down now that they have a stable path to follow.

The horses walk behind them as Dust and Geno walk side by side. The forest is peaceful and beautiful. Geno thought he had seen dark clouds the day before when they were near the mine but seems like those had cleared up somewhere in the night.

Dust glances at him “Use magic a lot…”

Geno blinks and nods “Yeah. Magic is great I love using it.”

Dust nods but frowns “But got tired?”

Geno laughs and nods “That obvious?” Dust just shrugs and Geno doesn’t mind. Geno decides to tell him. Geno knows some weak spots of Dust, it is only fair he knows one of Geno “I don’t actually have a lot of mana available to me.”

Dust shoots him an disbelieving look. Geno grins and nods “It is the truth. I have horrendous magical stamina for a mage. It is why I make these.” He taps one of the crystals “I spend a few hours a day slowly infusing crystals and other rocks to make them hold my spells for me. Means I have a few always prepared and can use my mana for the actual emergencies.” There are other things that matter of course. The faster you cast a spell the more mana it takes. Same for stressful situations. It is because your soul is already stressed and your soul weaves the mana into a spell and magic to use.

Dust nods and glances back at his horses “Why… use mana instead of a crystal for healing?” he rubs his shoulder.

Geno shrugs as he feels a bit embarrassed. He doubts that because he wanted to show off is a good reason. He does for the second reason he did it “It is the same reason with the cooking. Magic can’t give intent. And some spells are depended on that. Sure I got some healing crystals but they aren��t specific or specialised. With your shoulder having already been hit before I didn’t want to risk it healing wrong with a crystal. The same implied for Basalt as I heard that a broken leg for a horse is fatale.”

Dust gives a slow nod and thinks for a moment. “Healing works better with intent?”

Geno nods “Much better! Of course I can put intent into the magic that I put in the crystal. And it will do what I want. But when I heal it directly I can kinda… sense out the injury? I feel like an echo of it in my own body, makes it easier to focus the healing into the spots that really need it instead of everything at once that the crystals do.”

Dust nods as he listens. Dust is a real good listener… Geno hadn’t really appreciated that before. Before when he just wanted information he just wanted to get Dust to start talking. But it is nice to have an active listener to talk to.

Not to forget! Dust is showing interest in magic! Geno finally can talk about all the stuff he knows about it! He will have to be careful to not try and focus on Dust’s magic to make sure Geno doesn’t overstep again but this will work! This can work!

They walk together as Dust hums “Didn’t know magic worked like that.”

Geno rubs his cheek “I mean. Magic works in many ways. It is dynamic and evolving in that way. That it changes when interacting with it. Like… I see it was crystals and minerals. Many different yet similar things that when interacting can make newer forms. When put under pressure can change from one to the other. It is something that endlessly fascinates me. I used to talk with people all the time. To learn how they saw magic. How they interacted with it.”

Dust looks at him “… You… want to understand magic.” he sounds as if he is in disbelieve.

Geno grins “Don’t you? It is everywhere around us. In the plants, in the rocks, in the earth itself, in the sky! It is in the static that fills the air. It is in the newly made technology even when it wasn’t used to make it! Magic gets everywhere and it changes to fit just fine. To belong. It is…” He had wanted to belong so badly. Fit in and belong. Get people to let him stay so he could make a stable home. “It seemed… nice.”

Dust frowns as he looks ahead. Thinking about it. “You know a lot about magic… much studying?”

Geno grins and nods “A lot. Used to be one of the things that came natural to me! Even with my weak mana the spells and magic itself? It just worked like I wanted! It made everything easier. From cooking to cleaning to actually getting jobs. Let me tell you no one will hire a teen for a full time job. Annoying as everything.”

Dust looks at him confused “Parents? Their job?”

Geno laughs and looks to the side “Well… My parents weren’t the best. Dad run out on my mom the moment she got pregnant. Honestly don’t get why she even decided to keep me. Apparently I was a very difficult pregnancy as she would not shut up about that. Maybe she thought getting me would make the guy come back? Either way. It was her and me for a while.” They had managed okay. Geno went to a local school and walked home alone. He had to help with the chores as his mom was out to search for jobs and work. And she couldn’t keep a job down for longer than a few days before switching jobs again.

“Then, when I was about 9ish, she came home with this guy. New guys she met that day, bringing he right home to her home address and young child.” Geno glares ahead.

Dust snorts “That is begging to be robbed.”

Geno waves his hands around “Right?! Anyway. That guy was a piece of work. He would glare and lock me in rooms. The joke is on him. I was already very magical and let me tell you there is no keeping someone inside when you can magically unlock doors or move furniture he placed in front of it.” He grins and laughs as he remembers the shocked look on the guys face when Geno would just appear back in the small kitchen, eating a snack just ten minutes after the guy tried to lock him out of the house. “Of course mother dear didn’t believe me at all. She just said it would take some getting used to him being my new dad and that I wanted her to be miserable and alone forever.” Geno rolls his eyes “I would have been more okay with the asshole if he wasn’t a deadbeat that couldn’t hold a job either.”

Dust hums “Charming. I can see why she liked him.”

Geno laughs at the absolute deadpan voice and unimpressed stone face. Geno nods “I know right? And then. Of course. My idiotic mother got herself pregnant. I think she was trying to baby trap the guy.”

Dust tilts his skull “Didn’t work with the first one. Why would it work with the second?”

Geno grins “Oh trust me. It gets worse. So. The guy. Obviously. Acted as if he was overjoyed. Said that he would finally have a child and a son or daughter to adore. Mom didn’t even bother to correct him when I was standing right there.” He sighs “The asshole kept up the illusion that he wanted this child and when she was in the process to actually get Fresh the guy stole the small amount of savings we had and ran off with it.” he sighs. His mother had blamed him. Said that Geno hadn’t been welcoming to her new love and his new dad. That his behaviour had been the reason why little Fresh would now grow up without a dad.

Geno shrugs “Said that Fresh would now grow up without a father because I didn’t welcome him. Which honestly. Seems more of an his issue if he couldn’t handle one sassy annoying child. Not that it mattered much as mom went back to her old habits of leaving the whole day to work or search for work while I took care of Fresh.” He looks at Dust “Let me tell you this. Catching an active baby and washing him and feeding him? A lot easier with magic and telekinesis spells.” He smiles at the memories of Fresh being the chaotic little baby he had been. Geno adores his wild brother.

Dust frowns “She made you take care of him?”

Geno shrugs “Made is a big word. She did stuff. Just not most of it. And I honestly didn’t trust her with my little brother.” Fresh was his. Same for Error. Those two are his little brothers and he will make sure people know that messing with them means messing with him. “And Fresh wasn’t hard to take care of. Bugger was chaotic and energetic but it was fun. Harder was still trying to get a side job to help with covering school costs as mom barely made enough to keep the house.”

Dust frowns “No covered education? I thought that was a thing in Sanctuary?”

Geno looks at Dust confused before grinning “I wasn’t born in Sanctuary.” Dust looks confused but waits. Geno nods “I am from Ironfields. You know. Across the water and inwards more? I was just lucky that Reaper had the funds to visit all the big magical academia to look for a royal mage. And I made the cut.” Reaper swore up and down that he had picked Geno for his skill. Yes he had liked Geno on a personal and attraction level as well but that was not what influenced his decision on making him royal mage. If Reaper had found someone more skilled he would have offered them the job and gone back to Geno to request a date with him.

Dust nods “But you did parttime stuff when younger?”

Geno nods “All the time. It helped cover the costs for school. Thought it kept me busy. Between school, work and taking care of Fresh and myself it was rather busy. It got easier when Fresh was old enough to go to school too. And Fresh was actually really good when near others so he would be quiet and behave while I worked. He just was a menace at school or at home.” He sighs “And then! My mom came home with ANOTHER guy when I was sixteen and Fresh was six!”

Dust whistles “She got some bad taste.”

Geno groans “The worst! He straight up tried to get her to abandon us. Which what a fucking jackass. She was about to do it too until I reminded her that at this point I was the one paying for the fucking house and that everyone knew she was our mom and it would be social suicide for her to abandon us and try to play happy wife with this man.” She had cursed him out. Told him that he was a fucking freak and demon and was the cause of her unhappiness. That she should have realised Geno was the problem the second the healers told her his soul wasn’t developing right. “She got annoying about it and I just reminded her that she was the one who decided to keep me. Not me. She got angrier about that little fact.” He sighs “And once again. She got a kid with this fucker as well. And as always. The guy noped out at the last moment and stole the savings she had.” Geno is sure the only reason he stayed as long as he had was because he had been looking for Geno’s savings and funds. But Geno isn’t an idiot. He hid anything he earned and only paid the people that needed paying directly. Like hell he was going to trust he deadbeat of a mother with his money. He earned that for himself and his brother, and later brother, not her.

Dust nods “Error?”

Geno nods “Error was born.” He had been seventeen and Fresh had been seven. Both of them had adored Error immediately. Geno and Fresh has both known things would get harder but little Error had been the cutest little thing. Fresh had held him and had stared at Geno with such determination when he declared he would be the best older brother. Geno had laughed and held his two little brothers. His brothers. His family.

Dust nods and crosses his arms “How long until the next guy?”

Geno sighs and shakes his head “She left. Left a whole note about how she couldn’t stay with us anymore. Something about how having three children from different man would hurt her chances at finding true love and happiness. As if we decided to be born over her being a fucking idiot and not terminating us when it turned out to be too rough.”

Dust hums “Idiot.”

Geno nods “She is the biggest idiot. But I hardly expected anything else at that point. In the end it didn’t even get harder. In matter of fact it got easier. No one wanted our old and crooked house and the bank didn’t care who lived in it as long as payments were made on time. They just changed her name to mine on the paperwork and we remained in our house. I took Error with me to class and work and Error was a quiet baby who slept a lot. It only started to get harder to take care of him when his magic developed.” Unlike Geno. Error has a very healthy soul which is very magical attuned. Error blasted their wall and made their house have an open concept kitchen instead of a room with a door. They were so lucky it wasn’t a load baring wall.

Dust nods as he stares ahead of them “Good brother.”

Geno feels flustered suddenly as he rubs his neck “Euh. It was a bit rough sometimes but all in all not that hard… I got lucky with my magic. It made everything easier and less hard. I could cheat and safe time on so many things with my skills. Not to forget that I got a full ride scholar ship to a pristine school for magic to get my actual schooling. I moved my brothers with me to be closer to that school so I could commute and be home in the evening for them.” Not to forget that the scholar ship was more than enough to cover their living costs if he didn’t use it to stay in the dorms as those are expensive.

Dust looks at him curiously “Then how did… Error end up with us?”

Geno sighs “It would take time to settle and move stuff to Reaper’s place. Get my workshop and rooms set up. Search for people to make sure that Error got the right education and Fresh got what he needed with his condition. I had just needed time to make everything perfect. The plan had been that I would go first. Get stuff ready and set up. And then Fresh and Error would both move in with me… Fresh was supposed to watch over Error on the weekends while Error stayed at the academy throughout the week.” He sighs sadly. It had all gone so wrong. And Geno hadn’t known until it was too late to fix it.

Dust frowns as he looks down. It is okay that he doesn’t know what to say, Geno doesn’t either.

They continue to walk in silence for a long time. Eventually Dust stops them saying they should set camp again.

Geno grins as he casts the right spells and copies the setup of the day before. A tent made of sticks and other stuff laying around. A fire both inside and outside of the tent. And all the snow that was on the ground pushed aside and this time the ground magically dried.

Dust looks shocked as Geno grins “See? Told you stuff gets easier with magic. I just didn’t have the mana yesterday.”

Dust looks at him with a tilted head before nodding. Huh. Seems like Dust hit his limit on socialising. That is okay.

They are quickly ready and comfortable in their now reasonably warm tent. Dust actually lays out he own coat to sleep on and Geno copies his actions. It makes the ground a bit softer to lay on.

Geno sighs and goes to sleep.

--

Geno doesn’t want to get up. He had been having a very nice dream. A dream where he had been on the horse with Dust. But his dream hadn’t focused on the terror of the snow following them. It had instead been focussed on the feeling of being that close to Dust. How he felt and how warm he had been. The feeling of Dust’s body against his. Even his scent had made it in.

Which now that he is awake? Holy shit he is being a creep.

Geno groans as he sits up. Finding himself in the tent laying on his coat and- oh… Dust had left his coat by him as a blanket. Geno hides his face in his hands and tries to contain his screaming. How can he deal with this? He can’t. His feelings feel like they will explode his soul and he is really trying to not overdo it or annoy Dust or worse make him feel uncomfortable again.

But… the fact that Dust is trying to make sure he is comfortable should mean that… Does that mean that Dust has forgiven him? Does this mean that they have at least a neutral standing now?

Geno joins Dust outside for another delicious breakfast, honestly how dust can find food is beyond Geno but he is thankful for it, before they continue down the mountain. Most of their morning is spend in silence as they walk together. Only a few comments about what path they should take and how to go about their descent of the mountain.

They do get turned around for a bit as the path they had been following seems to disappear for a bit. Geno and Dust consult the map and their compass to figure out how to get further down.

They make their own path through foliage and bare trees with the horses close by. Dust turns back a few times to help Basalt find his footing as Opal just walks with sidesteps past things.

Geno crosses his arms “Is Opal showing off?”

Dust nods as he doesn’t look away from Basalt “She does that.”

Geno snorts “Must have taken a lot of time to train her. She seems stubborn.”

Dust nods again as he checks that Basalt is still standing okay “She is. But she has energy and wants to learn. It was just a matter of giving her new things to learn and practise. She now knows too much.” He sighs and Geno laughs.

They have to carefully walk down a few more ledges but manage to find the path again. After consulting their map again they follow it eastwards as that should be down.

Dust starts to speak softly “I was wondering…” he glances at Geno “How do you… make your magic do all those things?”

Geno blinks and looks at Dust “I mean… intent matters a lot. But it is also what I have in mind as I craft the spell. Spell crafting, at least in my case, is about picturing what I want and how and how it relates to the parts and elements I mentally connect it to.”

Dust frowns “For you? Nightmare said… It is energy and alive.”

Geno tilts his skull as he thinks “I can see why he saw it as that… from what I know. Magic changes and shapes itself to fit whatever someone thinks about it. It gives different people the ability to do different thing.” He had mentioned the day before, Geno thinks so at least. The day before they spoke about a lot. Or well Geno spoke about it.

Dust nods “So. Alive?”

Geno rubs his neck “Kinda? I never saw it as alive. Just reactive. We push emotions and intent into it. The magic soaks it up and repeats it. In a way we give it feelings and wants. We make it want to do what we want. I think?” Geno grins at Dust “It is weird and complex because everyone thinks about it differently and interacts with it differently. Which means the magic reacts and behaves differently as well. When we first start learning magic or hearing about it people already have opinions that they tell us. It shapes how we see magic and what we think magic is capable of doing. Which sets limits.” Geno frowns “Why did you think your magic could break the collar? I didn’t think it was possible for my magic to go against it but yours did. How did it break free from the control?”

Dust seems to think for a moment. Frowning before muttering “I don’t… control it… guide at most.”

Geno blinks before gasping “The collar couldn’t make it listen… because you don’t believe anything can control it?” Dust shrugs and nods.

“Never saw it as… something I affect. It is a force of nature. It is lightning. Energy. Alive.”

Geno wants to ask so many questions. How Dust came to this conclusion. How he managed to direct it. How he manages his power to remain contained. But Geno swallows the many questions. He pushes it down. Instead he looks at Dust “And… because of that it was free to fight the collar?”

Dust shrugs before he seems to think for a while again. Then he mutters softly “I got… No real control. But I got power… When I first got… picked for being a Knight. I needed four bracelets to keep it down. Nightmare said it grew stronger.”

Four.

Four magic blockers?!

Geno wants to beg Dust to let him see the magic. See how it interacts. But he can’t because it makes Dust uncomfortable. Keep it in. Keep it in.

Geno focusses on what Dust mentioned before “That fits with how you see magic. You, and Nightmare I guess, see magic as something alive that grows and grows stronger. Something wild that can’t be contained much like a natural force. It makes sense than that this manmade collar couldn’t control it. Couldn’t keep it contained. You just… waited for your moment to act upon that…” Geno laughs and shakes his skull “Damn that is so fucking impressive. I couldn’t do that.”

Dust frowns and stares at him confused.

Geno laughs “The whole staying calm and waiting for the right moment to cast a spell. I was panicking as soon as the situation went south.”

Dust frowns and shakes his skull “Wasn’t that bad… Shield. And slow falling?”

Geno nods “That came after. After I had more time to think. Had we fallen before I had a chance to think of it? I doubt I would have been fast enough to cast the spell. It is just. I know I can do magic and it is easy to me. But doing it in moments of stress?” he shakes his skull “I never had to do that before. It showed.” He sighs.

Dust thinks for a moment “Not that bad. You thought of stuff and used magic when we needed it. I am used to missions. I am used to fighting. Before being a Knight I was used to the crime-ring and scenes. Lots of tension. Quick thinking.”

Geno nods as he pulls out a crystal “I know they work. I just. Always tested them in save areas with failsafes in mind. It was never a matter of life and death. At least not while I practised and tested them. I made sure they would work the way they were intended. Then gave the crystals to people actually going on missions…” The only reason he was on this one is because he was the only one who would have been able to magically shut down whatever this drug ring had been.

Dust nods before shrugging “Worked out okay.”

Geno stares in shock at Dust. He seems honest. Even if Geno messed up pretty much at every step but Dust seems to not think that. Or at least not having hard feelings about it.

Geno smiles a bit as he looks down “Thanks to you mostly. The way you just knew what to do and how and when, and how to move and attack. It was fucking amazing.” And that is downplaying it.

Dust looks to the side as he rubs his cheek “I guess… Just practise.”

Just practise. As if Geno hadn’t had a chance to see a bit of their usual training before. Geno laughs and shakes his skull.

They walk silently for a moment before Geno speaks “Thanks. For… being willing to talk about magic stuff… I know you don’t like it.”

Dust shrugs and mutters “Don’t mind magic… just don’t like… mine.” He shrugs again before looking at Geno “Why?”

Geno blinks and laughs “Sorry I have no idea what you are asking this time.”

Dust rolls his eyes and seems to consider his questions “Why… act like you did… before… to get answers… but back up now?”

Oh. Oh! That. That is a loaded one.

Geno looks away “Euh… The very short version of the answer? I am a bastard and asshole.” He looks at the ground in front of them “It is just. Foremost. Reaper and I knew about your… interest and crush for a while.” Dust immediately tugs the hood tighter around him. Geno looks to the side before smiling at him “It is okay! Reaper thought it was cute-” that was the wrong word as Dust lets out a long and quiet groan.

Geno shoots him a smile “If it helps… Reaper very quickly got interested? He was the one who wanted to see where it could maybe go? Lead?” he rubs his neck “Sorry I am not the best in this. Reaper is the emotionally available one honestly.”

Geno takes a deep breath “Reaper asked me if I was fine with it. Him exploring this feeling for you to see where it went. I was okay with it. I knew that Reaper would always love me and just because he started to like you it wouldn’t affect the love he held for me.” He sighs “And well… I must admit. I was fucking curious. Your magic? It is something I never seem, heard of or felt before. I wanted to know how it worked. I wanted to just understand how it could have become the way it was. And I figured… as Reaper and you grew closer I could just… Kinda… Tag along to get the answers I wanted?” He winces at the truth. “I know… I know it is bad. But I swear it was never supposed to get out of hand! I just… I just wanted some answers and figured you already liked me so maybe… just like… giving some attention and affection? Get some answers? And then once I got the answers I would be gentle about like… stopping it?” He is such a fucking asshole “And I figured it would be fine as Reaper was honest and really did like you! That maybe we could become more casual friends or acquaintances while both of us separately dated Reaper?” He sighs and looks away “I know. I am sorry. I am an asshole.”

Dust is silent. Taking it in maybe? Or maybe he is now going back to ignoring and not speaking to Geno again. He would deserve it.

“Then why… Kiss me? Or…” he isn’t looking at him “Tracing lower and stroking my leg?”

Geno feels himself grow mortified and horrified. Right! He did that! He 100% did that! Geno covers his face and chuckles “Because I am an asshole? It wasn’t… part of my plan… But I did end up really liking you. I fucking realised that while Reaper fell earlier I wasn’t far behind. I was a fucking mess. And then I figured… I had already been kinda faking courtship… What difference does it make to make it a real one? I figured… I figured it wouldn’t matter. I wasn’t planning on ever admitting that the whole thing started as a lie.” He looks away “I just… I got greedy I guess. Stuff that used to just be to keep the scheme going suddenly wasn’t enough. It felt good and I was greedy and wanted more.” Reaper never minded. Reaper had set the pace to a lot slower than Geno had wanted but Reaper had had no issue with slowing Geno down. “I figured… If I really overstepped… You would just tell me to quit it or something.”

“I hadn’t… considered the fact that there was a power disbalance between us. I never saw it as that. You were you and I was just me. I never thought of us as a Knight vs a Royal Mage. We were just two guys talking and hanging out… I know now I should have considered it. Maybe make it clear that I wouldn’t be mad or annoyed or ruin anything if you said no or asked me to back off. I hadn’t considered you felt like you couldn’t because of the whole treaty thing… I am sorry.” God. Why hadn’t Geno practised that more? Reaper had told him that if Dust ever gave him another chance to talk to him Geno would have to explain himself and apologise. Why hadn’t he considered better on what to say and how?

Dust frowns as he stares at the ground. Geno looks at him and waits but he doesn’t look up. Geno sighs as he looks away. He isn’t allowed to feel disappointed. He isn’t allowed to feel that way when he just admitted to Dust he had been right and that Geno had been lying and manipulating him to get something he wanted.

He deserves this.

The cold of the weather isn’t even as cold as the newfound tension between them.

They don’t speak as they set up camp.

They don’t interact as they both lay down to sleep for the night.

Geno feels like sleep evades him. He just stares at the top part of the tent as he listens. Dust’s breathing seems different than usual. Like he isn’t sleeping either.

Geno considers apologising again but if it before wasn’t enough what would make it now be good enough. Geno glares as he rolls up and turns towards the wooden tent, his back aimed towards Dust. Not allowing himself to look at the other.

What is done is done. He finally made good on being honest to Dust. Show him that he is a selfish asshole. Geno rolls up to safe some of the warmth as he closes his eyes. He will just have to accept that this little thing and maybe friendship is over. And Geno ruined it himself.

It seems like his sleeping mind and dreams didn’t get the memo.

Because he once again dreams about hugging Dust as they sit together. Maybe they are on one of the horses? Maybe not. Geno can’t focus on anything but how the other feels and the warmth he gives up.

Dust tries to leave in his dreams. Tries to get out of his embrace. Geno mumbles unhappily.

He can’t speak clearly in this stupid dream for some reason. Can’t explain.

“Please stay…” his mind is like cotton. He just wants to have this. Even if it is fake. “miss you…” and he snuggles his face deeper into the nice spot by his neck and shoulders.

Dust doesn’t move for a while. Then a sigh and the body returns to his embrace.

Geno sighs as he pushes close. His whole being purring as he snuggles closer. Trying to get as much out of this dream as he can.

The night goes on and his dream starts to fade out…

--

The next morning they are both still quiet. Geno had woken up by his magical fire with his own coat used as blanket this time. Getting outside explained why. It is freezing outside. But there are still no clouds in the sky. It is calm weather.

Which is honestly a miracle. The weather in the mountains are unpredictable and it is unheard of to have more than two days in a row with just sun. But they have been up here for a week now, the seventh day exactly, and it is still sunny with no wind!

It makes for cold nights and very cold mornings as there is no clouds in the evening either but honestly it is amazing to not have to be afraid for a sudden snowstorm.

No instead Geno can just be afraid and anxious about Dust truly hating him forever and how Geno is going to have to break it to Reaper that he ruined this a second time now and ruined his own second chance.

Geno is completely fine.

One long morning later and they are starting to see some spring flowers and some grass on the ground that the horses happily eat. Geno sighs in relieve. This should make getting down easier.

They follow the now clearly marked path and Geno finds his soul fully calm as he speaks “I think this is the path and mountain we thought it was. Meaning this one has easier paths to follow and some premade camp sites.”

Dust nods “Should make stuff easier at least.”

Geno grins but his grin falls as Dust still isn’t looking at him. Looking ahead of them. Geno puts his hands into his pockets as he kicks a rock once in a while. Feeling hurt and very rejected.

The silence makes the track long and awkward. Geno tries to keep himself distracted but he keeps looking back into Dust’s direction.

They do end up finding one of the camp sites and after considering the time they decide to make it an early night and walk the last part to the foot of the mountain the next day over trying to rush down and risking having to travel in the dark.

They find a nice cabin and set up camp there. Geno goes towards the supply box and raids it of blankets and some snacks hidden away. They are a bit expired but also these are dried snacks and Geno knows from experience they don’t truly go bad as much as go stale.

Geno returns outside to see Dust had set up their little cabin and a fire in the fire pit. Geno grins as he gives one of his found blankets to Dust before putting one down for himself and going inside to put the other two on the actual beds. Geno goes back outside and relaxes by the fire. He hands some of the snacks to Dust before getting comfy in his own blanket and snacks.

The sound of the fire is nice. The crackling gives it an extra layer of experience and Geno sighs as he just enjoys it. It feels peaceful and nice. Like the actual camping trips he had gone on with Reaper. He really needs to do this with his brothers. Enjoy the nature and mountain on his terms and peaceful environment.

“You were honest? Before?”

Geno blinks and looks over “what?”

Dust just stares at the fire “What you said before… Reaper… Reaper was really interested?”

Geno feels his soul pick up “Yes!” Wait! No! tune it down! “I mean. He still is. He honestly is. But Reaper is a lot better at this than I am and is actually able to read other people’s social cues and everything.” If Geno can’t… If Geno ruined this for himself he wants at least his mate to still get the chance for this.

Dust frowns as he keeps staring into the fire. Then he glances are Geno “You?”

Geno can’t look away. Dust’s eyes are mismatched with their colours. There is the tiniest ring of red around one and the other has the same but an even tinier ring of blue in the red ring. If you don’t stare at it the eye lights just appear white. Geno had seen both colours flash brightly when Dust used that lightning spell. So bright with energy and magic. Geno laughs as he looks away for a moment before looking back at Dust “I haven’t stopped falling if that helps? I am not good at this… whole emotion and relationship thing… Reaper did the hard work with our own relationship. But I know I like you. I like being near you and I was honestly happy to spend time with you. It… It hurts to know you hate me and that it is my own fault.” He snorts as he looks at the fire “I don’t know how to make it better… But I do like you. A lot. For a long time now.” Another thing Geno wished he had practised. Fucking hell he knew he had this mission to spend time with Dust he just… hadn’t thought they would have these conversations!

Dust hums as he stares at the fire before getting up “Going to bed.” He waits for a moment by the door and mutters “I don’t hate you. I just don’t get you…” and he goes inside.

Geno stares at the door. Unsure what just happened.

--

The next day travel was both better and worse. Geno felt better knowing the other didn’t hate him but there was a… tension in the air around them. Dust seems content to walk in silence as Geno just lets himself ramble without much thought.

Fuck just end him. Put him out of his misery and his failing at this.

Geno is just describing the process and thoughts behind crafting a new spell and how to balance the magic and mana properly to not make it go towards an already made spell.

“There goes so much more into it than just wishful thinking and putting mana into a spell!” Geno glares “Some mages call themselves masters of the arts when they can’t even properly manage a spell and the outwards force behind it! It is terrible! Not only is it dangerous but it also makes the reputation of actual master mages less trustworthy! And most people can’t just see the difference between an actual master mage and someone who just calls themselves that!”

Dust nods along “Ruins hard work and good name.”

Geno nods “Absolutely! It takes a long time to study magic and get familiar enough with it to craft actual well working spells that others can replicate! Just pushing some stuff together and hoping that it works with a lot of magic isn’t spell crafting!”

Dust snorts as he looks amused “What do you call my lightning? It just happens and can’t level it.”

Geno waves his hands “That is different! You are using a premade spell and editing it slightly to fit you and your magic and mana! You don’t say you crafted a new spell! You don’t act as if you have mastered magic! In matter of fact you treat it as something that makes its own decisions and works with you.” He glares ahead of him as he imagines breaking those fake mage fucker’s necks! “Those assholes however!! Acting as if they made powerful spells only to have those be instable and blasting people!” it is dangerous and a disgrace!

Dust hums and nods “Annoying.”

Geno nods “Very.” He takes a deep breath “Luckily. Reaper let me set tighter regulations for it in Sanctuary. You need an actual licence to perform as a mage there now and the mages are tested to make sure they don’t just have dangerous and instable spells.”

Dust nods “Good idea.”

Geno laughs “Thanks. I just. Magic is beautiful and fascinating but people need to stay watchful and respectful about it as it can be dangerous if used wrong.”

Dust nods along “Like the drugs and collars.”

Geno nods himself “Exactly!”

It is already early afternoon when they finally step out of the forest around the mountain and Geno stretches out “Awesome! Just a clear shot to town now.” hopefully they can send a message from there that they are fine as they get someone to get them back to the capital. Geno luckily is well known enough to be able to get a ride and promise payment once they arrived there.

Geno and Dust continue on and walk into town. Geno is already looking around to spot someone who can help them as Dust makes sure his mask is in place.

Geno spots someone with a big enough cart “Hello sir. I had a request-” Geno can’t even make his offer because as soon as the man he had been speaking against turns around he gasps and cheers.

Geno blinks confused as more people look their direction and more people cheer. Geno glances at Dust and Dust just looks at him. Geno shrugs as he looks back to the man “Is… something the matter?”

The man smiles brightly “Sir! People thought you disappeared on the mountain! And with the avalanche and as people know about the many storms and horrible weather. People feared the worst!”

Geno frowns as that information sinks in “I need to return to the castle in that case. And send a message to our king.” Reaper must be worried sick.

The man nods as he rushes to prepare the cart. Dust makes sure it works for Basalt to be carried as he gets new tools to saddle up Opal. Geno writes a message and sends it off with a carrier as Geno waits for the cart to be prepared.

People offer them food and new clothes to wear as Geno can admit they both look worse for wear. They only take some of the food and Geno can see Dust slipping gold coins and money into the pockets of the people who offered the stuff freely. It is painfully thoughtful and Geno feels his soul speed up.

How can he not be even more in love than he started as?

Geno gets in the by rider seat of the cart as Dust just climbs on top of his horse to ride Opal. Opal seems excited as she stands on her backlegs and whips her head around. She lands and starts running with Dust on her back. Dust easily makes her run in a circle to remain near the cart the whole time but Geno thinks he is having fun.

They need to actually follow the road but luckily this cart is being pulled by strong horses who don’t mind running. Making them make quick time over the calm walking pace of the journey to the mountain pace.

The man asks many questions and Geno remains vague about what he was doing up there. He keeps it as search and a study case which makes Dust snort. Geno isn’t sure why but the man buys the excuse.

Night is starting to fall when they finally reach the capital. By the gates Geno sees some of Reaper’s elite guards waiting and he thinks those are the forces of Nightmare’s kingdom.

The captain of Nightmare’s guard walks over “My Knight! I knew you would return to us safe and sound! Do you want us to take your horses to the stables?”

Dust nods as he gets off Opal before going to the cart. He opens it and carefully leads Basalt out “Watch his legs.” And he hands over the reins of both the horses to the captain, Rogers now that Geno thinks about it.

Rogers nods and leads the horses away.

Geno himself has gotten down from the cart and waves the worried guards away. Mentioning how he should discuss things with their king and rest.

Geno is quick to wave Dust with him as he escapes the spotlight.

Dust glances at him from behind his mask “Don’t like attention?”

Geno sighs “I don’t mind attention. The endless worrying however is unneeded. I am alright.” He pauses “Mostly thanks to you but we will tell Reaper about that as well.”

Dust tugs his skull deeper into the hood in a gesture that Geno by now can identify as shy and bashful. Reaper was right all that time ago. Dust is very cute.

They get to the study and find Reaper awake and looking stressed. He looks up and Geno can see the tension disappear from his form. Reaper is by his side and Geno is in his embrace within seconds. Reaper sounds thankful “You are alive. Thank you for returning to me.” He smiles at Dust “Both of you.”

Dust does the same shy and bashful reaction of tugging his skull deeper into the hood.

Geno hums as he enjoys the embrace “Mostly thanks to Dust. I will tell you everything.”

Reaper shakes his skull “Later. You both need a good meal, need to be checked in case of injuries. Time to clean up and rest. We can talk tomorrow about all you saw. For now let me just make sure you both are okay.” He glances at Dust “Please.”

Dust is quiet before giving a small nod “Message Nightmare.”

Reaper smiles and nods “I will send a message right away that you returned form the mountain.”

Dust nods again and Geno smiles. This is perfect! Now they can at least spoil and take care of him a little!

--

Dust is preparing his packs as the other forces of Nightmare’s guard gets ready behind him. Dust isn’t worried. Basalt is okay for the track and Opal is downright excited.

Geno is watching him getting ready to leave and seems anxious. Messing with some of those crystals of his. A nervous tick he has.

Dust nods to himself as he walks over to him and tilts his skull.

Geno rubs his neck and looks nervous. He looks much comfier in his normal clothes and cleaned up “You sure you will be fine?”

Dust nods as he crosses his arms “More stuff than I could use in four trips.” Reaper had been horrified to hear his mate had gotten collared. And had been so thankful and worried when he heard that Dust had managed to trick Rover into collaring him instead which he made backfire badly.

Dust isn’t worried. It isn’t the first time his storm decided to fry someone. Dust is more shocked that Rover survived the first and second attack he did against him.

Geno nods “Right! Euh… Reaper is just really thankful. And really worried you may have issues with the trip because of leftover injuries… That you got protecting me.” He winces and looks away.

Dust shrugs. It wasn’t that bad honestly. Sometimes it is better to take the hit yourself over letting someone more fragile or vulnerable having to take the hit. Dust may be physically weaker but he has mana to spare and magic strong enough to break most things not specifically designed to stop him.

And nothing is specifically designed to stop him.

Dust glances back “Time to go.”

Geno holds up a hand “Wait! I was… wondering… And you can say no I don’t mind. I just. Was wondering. If maybe… you could see a possibility of ever giving us a chance? For a date? Again?” he looks hopeful.

Dust thinks for a moment to consider all that happened the last two weeks. The way he actually understands Geno now. He makes sure no one is watching them before quickly leaning close. Geno freezes which is good as Dust needs him to stay still. Curse the fact that everyone is taller than him. He manages to reach him and whispers “I figured you out finally. You are a nerd.” And he kisses the cheek and pulls back as he replaces the mask “Cute one.” Geno stares in shock as Dust walks back towards the horses with a wave.

“Lets keep in contact. Next time no mountain missions though.” He gets to Opal and gets on her back with practised ease.

As he looks back he sees Geno grinning madly as he waves “You can count on it! Have a safe trip.”

Dust snorts and nods as he leads Opal to catch up with Rogers and the others.

Maybe this will end in heartbreak again but Dust thinks he got a much better read on them this time. And maybe it will be fine.

[buttercup-art]

hey

[fingertipsmp3]

Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself

[hum--hallelujah]

it's Crab who does the saving. of course it is, the nurse, the silent, confident, so very calm one of them. the one who loves Benzedrine more than he could ever speak. of course it is. but he's not calm, and he's not confident. he is not the doctor. he's not meant to be. he's always been meant to be the support. that's where he thrives, where he was born to be. of course he would be the nurse. his heart is pounding and he's breathing fast, too fast, and sweating, he can feel it. he's terrified that he's wrong, that he's going to be wrong, that he's going to do something wrong and kill Benze instead of save him. he can't get the moment out of his head. the split second, not ten minutes ago, walking into the station and Benze on a chair, slumped over the table, unresponsive. he thinks his heart stopped, but it's beating too hard for asystole right now. he knows diagnostics. Benze taught him this. he knows what an overdose looks like not because of books the way Benze learned it but because he's seen it happen before. not often, but when partiers in the Zones get their hands on City drugs, they're prone to taking it too far. this isn't party drugs, though. that isn't Benze. the bottle on the table, empty but for a drop, reads morphine. Crab thinks of this morning, before they'd left for the track. Benze had been down, and hard, with a headache. he said it was normal. he said it was fine. but he hid under a blanket and groaned whenever Sandman or Donnie talked too loud. he'd been in pain. how long has this been happening? how bad has it gotten to warrant this? how desperate must he have been the first time to stop the pain? how hadn't Crab known? he'd sat on the edge of the bed before leaving and kissed Benzedrine's temple. he's morbidly glad for that. fatalistic, but if that's the last interaction they'll ever have had, at least it was that. his hands are shaking when he signs at Sandman and Donnie, either or, whoever has more presence of mind, to find- he doesn't have the time to fingerspell it. Benze's lips are turning blue. he's not responding to- the word is stimuli. the sign is a mimicry of poking someone. so it's Crab who retrieves the medicine, of course it is, of course it's Crab. this vial is labeled kloxxado. Benze called it naloxone when he found it in their inventory the first time. Crab's hands are shaking as he preps a new injection. most things work fastest intravenously. the blood does it. the heart does it. his heart is thumping out of control. his heart is beating just to keep Benze's the same. his best friend doesn't even respond when he sticks the needle into his arm. Benze might be the one who’s dying (he can’t die, Crab won’t let him, of course he won’t, he can’t-) but Crab thinks maybe he’s only alive for Benze. like maybe if Benze dies he will too. like maybe the only thing keeping his heart beating is the fluttering pulse he can feel as he holds onto Benze’s wrist. he feels like he’s gonna pass out but he does all the right things, keeps his best friend alive despite himself because of course he does. he’s the caregiver. he’s the nurse. his heart is beating for this. (his heart is beating for Benze)

[ninawolv3rina]

I want to be writing so bad rn i don’t understand why I’m not lol

[savage-rhi]

🫂😪

[kyouka-supremacy]

I am totally pushing the aku top of the school agenda HOWEVER this mf would pop a vein before tutoring anyone (teaching math would end up in murder)

I swear I am extremely fascinated by and genuinely interested to understand what prompts this fairly spread perception of smart Akutagawa because I really can't see it.

Akutagawa is THE flawed character of the franchise. He has barely any redeemeing qualities. His being a ruthless, mindless dog, a beast, an animal is a central theme of his character: he's one of the most inhuman characters, no rationality, no emotions. It only makes sense he'd also be lacking in intellect, one of the most intrinsically human qualities, right? Let's also keep in mind that when it comes to intelligence, he was specifically trained since a very early age so that he wouldn't develop any critical thinking skill or wisdom. He was appositely built to be an executor, never a thinker. A killing machine, a mindless beast. He was made to be a tool, not a person. He is the very epitome of irrationality- and that much shows in everything he does! There's plenty canon evidence to support it. His actions are never guided by preliminary thoughts, he just acts on instinct, akin to an animal. He will kill his target in chapter 4 although his mission is specifically not to, he will barge into a building full of security guards right through the front door without even ordering his subordinates to offer support, he will go rogue and storm into the Moby Dick destroying everything in his path no matter the consequences, he will naïvely jump off a balcony to catch a repetitor just because his worst enemy said it had Dazai-san on the line- do I have to continue? His whole character is exclusively driven either by orders, or by instinct and irrationality. Guys, it would have been SO MUCH EASIER if upon seeing Ranpo's message Akutagawa had just took out his phone and gone “hey Chuuya-san, it's likely we've found the mastermind and the whole thing will be solved here at this place, can you come over one second?”. But he didn't, and it's not simply a matter of suspension of disbelief (in the way that the events are more satisfying this way). Was it for his pride then? Indeed, but Akutagawa's pride and irrationality are in a perpetual concomitant relationship of cause and effect, where one is constantly born from the other. I do think his very simple and straight-forward objectives (1. kill the Jinko 2. be acknowledge by Dazai-san 3. die) are themselves expression of his simple mindset, and so is a certain naïvety he has, that I honestly wish more people took into account when characterizing him.

It's funny because, the thematic relevance of it is the whole point- in reality, I don't think there's such a thing as a stupid person, I firmly believe everyone has their own kind of intelligence, a field each of us excells in. But it's exactly because Akutagawa isn't a person (well. in this context at least), but a character, that one can push a characteristic to its extremes in order to make it symbolic of something, in order to make an archetype out of his character. And Akutagawa at his core is irrationality, he is Dazai's failed trainee and ugliest foil, he is the ultimate pawn, he is the beast. The fact that Akutagawa is a character– it's relevant. He's not a person, he's a vassel for themes. I can dare to rudely talk about him like he was an animal because it's the narrative itself that before anyone else pushes the reader to see him in a dehumanizing way. Akutagawa once literally tore the skin off a man's neck with his teeth effectively killing them. It's quite not simple dog coding anymore lol. But he's just a dude from a book really, he's just symbolism: and that's why he can become a dog, or a pawn, or the stupidest person of Yokohama, as the author or reader pleases. It's really not that deep ahah

I can guess a possible counterpoint would be that perhaps, in a universe where he wasn't subject to the slums and Dazai's abuse such as high schools aus, Akutagawa would get his chance to be witty? But then I can't help but think, if you don't make Akutagawa stupid... Aren't you taking a fundamental trait of his character away from him? What's left of Akutagawa then? What would be the point of reading, let's say, a sskk high school fic if you can't recognize Akutagawa in it? But then again I guess this is exactly the reason why I can't bring myself to like most of alternative universe bsd fics (╥﹏╥)

Also, ultimately, there *are* personal preference components to it. In my headcanon Akutagawa has autism / adhd, and although those don't always have a negative impact on one's academic results, there is a chance they do. And I'd honestly lean towards that chance more when it comes with Akutagawa, because he is the pathetic man that has everything going wrong for him. There's symptoms in his impulsivity and scarce self-control, and I believe they'd make school life very hard for him, especially when it comes to focusing in classes and for studying- which is fitting tbh, can you imagine Akutagawa ever having a happy life? (I'm jk I swear I love him)

Besides, I must have mentioned how one of the main appeals of sskk for me is how despite being thoroughly flawed people they can still be loved. It's surprisingly comforting to think that even the most evil of people can be loved, and it's the same when it comes for stupidity. Stretching Akutagawa's flaws just makes him more symphatetic and enjoyable to read about.

[glasseater-3000]

ykw sometimes its better to just cancel the show

[therealbeachfox]

Twenty years ago, February 15th, 2004, I got married for the first time.

It was twenty years earlier than I ever expected to.

To celebrate/comemorate the date, I'm sitting down to write out everything I remember as I remember it. No checking all the pictures I took or all the times I've written about this before. I'm not going to turn to my husband (of twenty years, how the f'ing hell) to remember a detail for me.

This is not a 100% accurate recounting of that first wild weekend in San Francisco. But it -is- a 100% accurate recounting of how I remember it today, twenty years after the fact.

Join me below, if you would.

2004 was an election year, and much like conservatives are whipping up anti-trans hysteria and anti-trans bills and propositions to drive out the vote today, in 2004 it was all anti-gay stuff. Specifically, preventing the evil scourge of same-sex marriage from destroying everything good and decent in the world.

Enter Gavin Newstrom. At the time, he was the newly elected mayor of San Francisco. Despite living next door to the city all my life, I hadn’t even heard of the man until Valentines Day 2004 when he announced that gay marriage was legal in San Francisco and started marrying people at city hall.

It was a political stunt. It was very obviously a political stunt. That shit was illegal, after all. But it was a very sweet political stunt. I still remember the front page photo of two ancient women hugging each other forehead to forehead and crying happy tears.

But it was only going to last for as long as it took for the California legal system to come in and make them knock it off.

The next day, we’re on the phone with an acquaintance, and she casually mentions that she’s surprised the two of us aren’t up at San Francisco getting married with everyone else.

“Everyone else?” Goes I, “I thought they would’ve shut that down already?”

“Oh no!” goes she, “The courts aren’t open until Tuesday. Presidents Day on Monday and all. They’re doing them all weekend long!”

We didn’t know because social media wasn’t a thing yet. I only knew as much about it as I’d read on CNN, and most of the blogs I was following were more focused on what bullshit President George W Bush was up to that day.

"Well shit", me and my man go, "do you wanna?" I mean, it’s a political stunt, it wont really mean anything, but we’re not going to get another chance like this for at least 20 years. Why not?

The next day, Sunday, we get up early. We drive north to the southern-most BART station. We load onto Bay Area Rapid Transit, and rattle back and forth all the way to the San Francisco City Hall stop.

We had slightly miscalculated.

Apparently, demand for marriages was far outstripping the staff they had on hand to process them. Who knew. Everyone who’d gotten turned away Saturday had been given tickets with times to show up Sunday to get their marriages done. My babe and I, we could either wait to see if there was a space that opened up, or come back the next day, Monday.

“Isn’t City Hall closed on Monday?” I asked. “It’s a holiday”

“Oh sure,” they reply, “but people are allowed to volunteer their time to come in and work on stuff anyways. And we have a lot of people who want to volunteer their time to have the marriage licensing offices open tomorrow.”

“Oh cool,” we go, “Backup.”

“Make sure you’re here if you do,” they say, “because the California Supreme Court is back in session Tuesday, and will be reviewing the motion that got filed to shut us down.”

And all this shit is super not-legal, so they’ll totally be shutting us down goes unsaid.

00000

We don’t get in Saturday. We wind up hanging out most of the day, though.

It’s… incredible. I can say, without hyperbole, that I have never experienced so much concentrated joy and happiness and celebration of others’ joy and happiness in all my life before or since. My face literally ached from grinning. Every other minute, a new couple was coming out of City Hall, waving their paperwork to the crowd and cheering and leaping and skipping. Two glorious Latina women in full Mariachi band outfits came out, one in the arms of another. A pair of Jewish boys with their families and Rabbi. One couple managed to get a Just Married convertible arranged complete with tin-cans tied to the bumper to drive off in. More than once I was giving some rice to throw at whoever was coming out next.

At some point in the mid-afternoon, there was a sudden wave of extra cheering from the several hundred of us gathered at the steps, even though no one was coming out. There was a group going up the steps to head inside, with some generic black-haired shiny guy at the front. My not-yet-husband nudged me, “That’s Newsom.” He said, because he knew I was hopeless about matching names and people.

Ooooooh, I go. That explains it. Then I joined in the cheers. He waved and ducked inside.

So dusk is starting to fall. It’s February, so it’s only six or so, but it’s getting dark.

“Should we just try getting in line for tomorrow -now-?” we ask.

“Yeah, I’m afraid that’s not going to be possible.” One of the volunteers tells us. “We’re not allowed to have people hang out overnight like this unless there are facilities for them and security. We’d need Porta-Poties for a thousand people and police patrols and the whole lot, and no one had time to get all that organized. Your best bet is to get home, sleep, and then catch the first BART train up at 5am and keep your fingers crossed.

Monday is the last day to do this, after all.

00000

So we go home. We crash out early. We wake up at 4:00. We drive an hour to hit the BART station. We get the first train up. We arrive at City Hall at 6:30AM.

The line stretches around the entirety of San Francisco City Hall. You could toss a can of Coke from the end of the line to the people who’re up to be first through the doors and not have to worry about cracking it open after.

“Uh.” We go. “What the fuck is -this-?”

So.

Remember why they weren’t going to be able to have people hang out overnight?

Turns out, enough SF cops were willing to volunteer unpaid time to do patrols to cover security. And some anonymous person delivered over a dozen Porta-Poties that’d gotten dropped off around 8 the night before.

It’s 6:30 am, there are almost a thousand people in front of us in line to get this literal once in a lifetime marriage, the last chance we expect to have for at least 15 more years (it was 2004, gay rights were getting shoved back on every front. It was not looking good. We were just happy we lived in California were we at least weren’t likely to loose job protections any time soon.).

Then it starts to rain.

We had not dressed for rain.

00000

Here is how the next six hours go.

We’re in line. Once the doors open at 7am, it will creep forward at a slow crawl. It’s around 7 when someone shows up with garbage bags for everyone. Cut holes for the head and arms and you’ve got a makeshift raincoat! So you’ve got hundreds of gays and lesbians decked out in the nicest shit they could get on short notice wearing trashbags over it.

Everyone is so happy.

Everyone is so nervous/scared/frantic that we wont be able to get through the doors before they close for the day.

People online start making delivery orders.

Coffee and bagels are ordered in bulk and delivered to City Hall for whoever needs it. We get pizza. We get roses. Random people come by who just want to give hugs to people in line because they’re just so happy for us. The tour busses make detours to go past the lines. Chinese tourists lean out with their cameras and shout GOOD LUCK while car horns honk.

A single sad man holding a Bible tries to talk people out of doing this, tells us all we’re sinning and to please don’t. He gives up after an hour. A nun replaces him with a small sign about how this is against God’s will. She leaves after it disintegrates in the rain.

The day before, when it was sunny, there had been a lot of protestors. Including a large Muslim group with their signs about how “Not even DOGS do such things!” Which… Yes they do.

A lot of snide words are said (by me) about how the fact that we’re willing to come out in the rain to do this while they’re not willing to come out in the rain to protest it proves who actually gives an actual shit about the topic.

Time passes. I measure it based on which side of City Hall we’re on. The doors face East. We start on Northside. Coffee and trashbags are delivered when we’re on the North Side. Pizza first starts showing up when we’re on Westside, which is also where I see Bible Man and Nun. Roses are delivered on Southside. And so forth.

00000

We have Line Neighbors.

Ahead of us are a gay couple a decade or two older than us. They’ve been together for eight years. The older one is a school teacher. He has his coat collar up and turns away from any news cameras that come near while we reposition ourselves between the lenses and him. He’s worried about the parents of one of his students seeing him on the news and getting him fired. The younger one will step away to get interviewed on his own later on. They drove down for the weekend once they heard what was going on. They’d started around the same time we did, coming from the Northeast, and are parked in a nearby garage.

The most perky energetic joyful woman I’ve ever met shows up right after we turned the corner to Southside to tackle the younger of the two into a hug. She’s their local friend who’d just gotten their message about what they’re doing and she will NOT be missing this. She is -so- happy for them. Her friends cry on her shoulders at her unconditional joy.

Behind us are a lesbian couple who’d been up in San Francisco to celebrate their 12th anniversary together. “We met here Valentines Day weekend! We live down in San Diego, now, but we like to come up for the weekend because it’s our first love city.”

“Then they announced -this-,” the other one says, “and we can’t leave until we get married. I called work Sunday and told them I calling in sick until Wednesday.”

“I told them why,” her partner says, “I don’t care if they want to give me trouble for it. This is worth it. Fuck them.”

My husband-to-be and I look at each other. We’ve been together for not even two years at this point. Less than two years. Is it right for us to be here? We’re potentially taking a spot from another couple that’d been together longer, who needed it more, who deserved it more.”

“Don’t you fucking dare.” Says the 40-something gay couple in front of us.

“This is as much for you as it is for us!” says the lesbian couple who’ve been together for over a decade behind us.

“You kids are too cute together,” says the gay couple’s friend. “you -have- to. Someday -you’re- going to be the old gay couple that’s been together for years and years, and you deserve to have been married by then.”

We stay in line.

It’s while we’re on the Southside of City Hall, just about to turn the corner to Eastside at long last that we pick up our own companions. A white woman who reminds me an awful lot of my aunt with a four year old black boy riding on her shoulders. “Can we say we’re with you? His uncles are already inside and they’re not letting anyone in who isn’t with a couple right there.” “Of course!” we say.

The kid is so very confused about what all the big deal is, but there’s free pizza and the busses keep driving by and honking, so he’s having a great time.

We pass by a statue of Lincoln with ‘Marriage for All!’ and "Gay Rights are Human Rights!" flags tucked in the crooks of his arms and hanging off his hat.

It’s about noon, noon-thirty when we finally make it through the doors and out of the rain.

They’ve promised that anyone who’s inside when the doors shut will get married. We made it. We’re safe.

We still have a -long- way to go.

00000

They’re trying to fit as many people into City Hall as possible. Partially to get people out of the rain, mostly to get as many people indoors as possible. The line now stretches down into the basement and up side stairs and through hallways I’m not entirely sure the public should ever be given access to. We crawl along slowly but surely.

It’s after we’ve gone through the low-ceiling basement hallways past offices and storage and back up another set of staircases and are going through a back hallway of low-ranked functionary offices that someone comes along handing out the paperwork. “It’s an hour or so until you hit the office, but take the time to fill these out so you don’t have to do it there!”

We spend our time filling out the paperwork against walls, against backs, on stone floors, on books.

We enter one of the public areas, filled with displays and photos of City Hall Demonstrations of years past.

I take pictures of the big black and white photo of the Abraham Lincoln statue holding banners and signs against segregation and for civil rights.

The four year old boy we helped get inside runs past us around this time, chased by a blond haired girl about his own age, both perused by an exhausted looking teenager helplessly begging them to stop running.

Everyone is wet and exhausted and vibrating with anticipation and the building-wide aura of happiness that infuses everything.

The line goes into the marriage office. A dozen people are at the desk, shoulder to shoulder, far more than it was built to have working it at once.

A Sister of Perpetual Indulgence is directing people to city officials the moment they open up. She’s done up in her nun getup with all her makeup on and her beard is fluffed and be-glittered and on point. “Oh, I was here yesterday getting married myself, but today I’m acting as your guide. Number 4 sweeties, and -Congradulatiooooons!-“

The guy behind the counter has been there since six. It’s now 1:30. He’s still giddy with joy. He counts our money. He takes our paperwork, reviews it, stamps it, sends off the parts he needs to, and hands the rest back to us. “Alright, go to the Rotunda, they’ll direct you to someone who’ll do the ceremony. Then, if you want the certificate, they’ll direct you to -that- line.” “Can’t you just mail it to us?” “Normally, yeah, but the moment the courts shut us down, we’re not going to be allowed to.”

We take our paperwork and join the line to the Rotunda.

If you’ve seen James Bond: A View to a Kill, you’ve seen the San Francisco City Hall Rotunda. There are literally a dozen spots set up along the balconies that overlook the open area where marriage officials and witnesses are gathered and are just processing people through as fast as they can.

That’s for the people who didn’t bring their own wedding officials.

There’s a Catholic-adjacent couple there who seem to have brought their entire families -and- the priest on the main steps. They’re doing the whole damn thing. There’s at least one more Rabbi at work, I can’t remember what else. Just that there was a -lot-.

We get directed to the second story, northside. The San Francisco City Treasurer is one of our two witnesses. Our marriage officient is some other elected official I cannot remember for the life of me (and I'm only writing down what I can actively remember, so I can't turn to my husband next to me and ask, but he'll have remembered because that's what he does.)

I have a wilting lily flower tucked into my shirt pocket. My pants have water stains up to the knees. My hair is still wet from the rain, I am blubbering, and I can’t get the ring on my husband’s finger. The picture is a treat, I tell you.

There really isn’t a word for the mix of emotions I had at that time. Complete disbelief that this was reality and was happening. Relief that we’d made it. Awe at how many dozens of people had personally cheered for us along the way and the hundreds to thousands who’d cheered for us generally.

Then we're married.

Then we get in line to get our license.

It’s another hour. This time, the line goes through the higher stories. Then snakes around and goes past the doorway to the mayor’s office.

Mayor Newsom is not in today. And will be having trouble getting into his office on Tuesday because of the absolute barricade of letters and flowers and folded up notes and stuffed animals and City Hall maps with black marked “THANK YOU!”s that have been piled up against it.

We make it to the marriage records office.

I take a picture of my now husband standing in front of a case of the marriage records for 1902-1912. Numerous kids are curled up in corners sleeping. My own memory is spotty. I just know we got the papers, and then we’re done with lines. We get out, we head to the front entrance, and we walk out onto the City Hall steps.

It's almost 3PM.

00000

There are cheers, there’s rice thrown at us, there are hundreds of people celebrating us with unconditional love and joy and I had never before felt the goodness that exists in humanity to such an extent. It’s no longer raining, just a light sprinkle, but there are still no protestors. There’s barely even any news vans.

We make our way through the gauntlet, we get hands shaked, people with signs reading ”Congratulations!” jump up and down for us. We hit the sidewalks, and we begin to limp our way back to the BART station.

I’m at the BART station, we’re waiting for our train back south, and I’m sitting on the ground leaning against a pillar and in danger of falling asleep when a nondescript young man stops in front of me and shuffles his feet nervously. “Hey. I just- I saw you guys, down at City Hall, and I just… I’m so happy for you. I’m so proud of what you could do. I’m- I’m just really glad, glad you could get to do this.”

He shakes my hand, clasps it with both of his and shakes it. I thank him and he smiles and then hurries away as fast as he can without running.

Our train arrives and the trip south passes in a semilucid blur.

We get back to our car and climb in.

It’s 4:30 and we are starving.

There’s a Carls Jr near the station that we stop off at and have our first official meal as a married couple. We sit by the window and watch people walking past and pick out others who are returning from San Francisco. We're all easy to pick out, what with the combination of giddiness and water damage.

We get home about 6-7. We take the dog out for a good long walk after being left alone for two days in a row. We shower. We bundle ourselves up. We bury ourselves in blankets and curl up and just sort of sit adrift in the surrealness of what we’d just done.

We wake up the next day, Tuesday, to read that the California State Supreme Court has rejected the petition to shut down the San Francisco weddings because the paperwork had a misplaced comma that made the meaning of one phrase unclear.

The State Supreme Court would proceed to play similar bureaucratic tricks to drag the process out for nearly a full month before they have nothing left and finally shut down Mayor Newsom’s marriages.

My parents had been out of state at the time at a convention. They were flying into SFO about the same moment we were walking out of City Hall. I apologized to them later for not waiting and my mom all but shook me by the shoulders. “No! No one knew that they’d go on for so long! You did what you needed to do! I’ll just be there for the next one!”

00000

It was just a piece of paper. Legally, it didn’t even hold any weight thirty days later. My philosophy at the time was “marriage really isn’t that important, aside from the legal benefits. It’s just confirming what you already have.”

But maybe it’s just societal weight, or ingrained culture, or something, but it was different after. The way I described it at the time, and I’ve never really come up with a better metaphor is, “It’s like we were both holding onto each other in the middle of the ocean in the middle of a storm. We were keeping each other above water, we were each other’s support. But then we got this piece of paper. And it was like the ground rose up to meet our feet. We were still in an ocean, still in the middle of a storm, but there was a solid foundation beneath our feet. We still supported each other, but there was this other thing that was also keeping our heads above the water.

It was different. It was better. It made things more solid and real.

I am forever grateful for all the forces and all the people who came together to make it possible. It’s been twenty years and we’re still together and still married.

We did a domestic partnership a year later to get the legal paperwork. We’d done a private ceremony with proper rings (not just ones grabbed out of the husband’s collection hours before) before then. And in 2008, we did a legal marriage again.

Rushed. In a hurry. Because there was Proposition 13 to be voted on which would make them all illegal again if it passed.

It did, but we were already married at that point, and they couldn’t negate it that time.

Another few years after that, the Supreme Court finally threw up their hands and said "Fine! It's been legal in places and nothing's caught on fire or been devoured by locusts. It's legal everywhere. Shut up about it!"

And that was that.

00000

When I was in highschool, in the late 90s, I didn’t expect to see legal gay marriage until I was in my 50s. I just couldn’t see how the American public as it was would ever be okay with it.

I never expected to be getting married within five years. I never expected it to be legal nationwide before I’d barely started by 30s. I never thought I’d be in my 40s and it’d be such a non-issue that the conservative rabble rousers would’ve had to move onto other wedge issues altogether.

I never thought that I could introduce another man as my husband and absolutely no one involved would so much as blink.

I never thought I’d live in this world.

And it’s twenty years later today. I wonder how our line buddies are doing. Those babies who were running around the wide open rooms playing tag will have graduated college by now. The kids whose parents the one line-buddy was worried would see him are probably married too now. Some of them to others of the same gender.

I don’t have some greater message to make with all this. Other then, culture can shift suddenly in ways you can’t predict. For good or ill. Mainly this is just me remembering the craziest fucking 36 hours of my life twenty years after the fact and sharing them with all of you.

The future we’re resigned to doesn’t have to be the one we live in. Society can shift faster than you think. The unimaginable of twenty years ago is the baseline reality of today.

And always remember that the people who want to get married will show up by the thousands in rain that none of those who’re against it will brave.

[asahicore]

stupid in love - psh (m)

this work contains smut - minors please do not interact

pairing. best friend!sunghoon x fem!reader

synopsis. One night early on in your summer vacation, your best friend Sunghoon admits that his biggest anxiety about starting college is going there as a virgin - one thing leads to another, and you end up learning a few things from each other. The more time passes, the more obvious it becomes that your feelings for each other surpass friendship, but with the end of summer looming over your heads, it's hard to tell where these newfound emotions will lead you.

genre. best friends/childhood friends 2 lovers, summer au, lots of fluff and smut but also some angst to spice things up, when i say smut i mean LOTS of smut. like mostly smut lol (mutual first time, ice play, crazy stuff)

word count. 22.1k

a/n. bringing this one back from the pits of my google docs guys.. its been so long since i've posted anything and im not sure when the new hoon fic will be ready so i thought i'd repost an og asahicore fic!!! the title was originally 'hot like ice' but i changed it bc this is my blog and i do what i want <3 i'd also like to say that in terms of plot this is probably not something i would write nowadays, it's very smut-heavy and thats not what im about now idk i was crazy back then... but i rmb being happy w this fic and its reception when i first posted it so i'm happy to have it back on my blog and hope u guys will like it too <3 as always lmk what u think!!

It all started with a lollipop. Well, two, to be exact. One strawberry-flavored, one apple-flavored. 

You stand in front of your friend, lollipops in hand. “Which one do you want, Hoon?” 

“I don’t mind, just pick whichever one you like best,” he replies absent-mindedly, eyes on the TV as he tries to find a suitable movie for this late summer afternoon.

You plop down on the couch next to him and look at the two lollipops in your hands, unable to decide which flavor you like better. “I don’t know what I feel like right now,” you announce to an uninterested Sunghoon. “I’ll just try both.”

That seems to catch your best friend’s attention. He watches as you unwrap both candies, tasting each once, twice, then as you decide you want the apple-flavored lollipop and hand him the strawberry-flavored one. He doesn’t take his eyes off of your lips as you wrap them and swirl your tongue around the candy, letting its sweetness wash over your taste buds. You raise your eyebrows when you notice his staring and he blinks a couple times, trying to snap himself out of it. “Did you want the other one?” you ask, confused by his behavior.

“N-no, I like strawberry,” he stammers, turning his gaze back to the screen in front of you and settling for ‘When Harry Met Sally,’ a movie you’ve both seen a thousand times but never get bored of.

You’re used to Sunghoon getting lost in his thoughts, so you don’t question it much. You sit back on the couch, your knee touching his. You two are no strangers to a little skinship - after being friends for almost eight years, physical contact comes naturally. You have to admit that recently, it’s started to feel different; but the idea of your friendship changing tugs at your heartstrings so much that you ignore the prickles on your skin when he hugs you or the way your stomach flips when he smiles at you, dimples and sharp canines on display. You tell yourself it’s all stupid and that you can handle so much as your knees touching.

Sunghoon, on the other hand, can't. The lollipop in his mouth right now was in yours mere moments ago and you’d given it to him like sharing saliva was no big deal. He feels like a thirteen year-old for thinking like this, but this was pretty much an indirect kiss.

He stares at the TV screen, but all he can see are your perfect lips sucking that lollipop, and his mind is desperately not trying to go there, but he just cannot help himself. Blood rushes to his dick as he pictures your mouth around him, sucking him off with as much enthusiasm as you are the lollipop. Would you like his taste? Would you look up at him with those pretty eyes of yours, smiling even with his dick stuffed in your mouth?

His own thoughts catch him off guard, and before they can get any wilder, he runs off to the bathroom, knowing he’d never live it down if you caught a glimpse of his erection. Thankfully, you don’t, and you call after him, asking if he wants you to pause the movie, to which he shouts back a strangled ‘no.’

He comes back ten minutes later, face flushed and breath heavy. “Goddamn, Hoon, I know we’re best friends, but if you’re going to dump a massive load, I wished you did it in your own bathroom and not mine,” you tease him, laughing as his face gets even redder and he opens his mouth to protest.

“I was just on my phone!” he replies, mildly offended.

“Whatever,” you say, still laughing, and turn your attention back to the movie.

Well. Sunghoon would rather have you think he just took a huge shit than have you know he came to the idea of you sucking him off and swallowing every last drop of his cum. 

--

A few days later, you and Sunghoon are lying on his bed, the both of you on your backs, talking about this and that as you often do. It’s almost 3 a.m., and it feels almost rebellious, being up this late after months of waking up at 6, but your high school graduation was a week ago and you feel like you can do anything. The dim fairy lights you forced him to put up and the bright moon outside are the only sources of light in the room, and when you turn to look at him, you can just make out the outline of his face, the curve of his nose, the sharpness of his jaw. You've looked at him a thousand times before, so your memory makes up for what the light takes away from your eyes. You shift to lying on your stomach, propping yourself up on your elbows so you can take a better look at your friend. Something about the moonlight makes him look ethereal, and his beauty makes your heart skip a beat, but you’d never admit that to him. Out of habit, you reach out to touch his moles, gently placing your middle finger on his nose and your pointer finger on his cheek. Sunghoon closes his eyes at your touch, used to the warm feeling that settles in his stomach whenever you do that.

“Y/N?” he calls out, just as you pull your fingers away from his moles.

“Yeah?”

He opens his eyes again, meeting yours. “Is there anything you’re scared of for next year? You know, heading off to college and all that?” You shift again and lie on your back, the sides of your two bodies touching. You stare at the ceiling for a while, thinking about his question, and Sunghoon patiently waits for your answer.

“I’m scared about not making friends. I’m not the least outgoing person ever, but it’s so intimidating, not knowing anyone. And it’ll be weird not having you around. Shut up,” you warn before he can make an egotistical remark, so he just chuckles. “I’m also worried about the amount of work I’ll have. I’ve heard so many times that it’s a huge step-up from high school, the workload and the type of work and all that. What if I don’t even like the degree that I chose? I know I can change it, but it still stresses me out. Turning 18 doesn’t feel like a huge deal, but going to college does. It’s when all the responsibility hits. My mom told me to make my own doctor’s appointment the other day, and I almost cried when I had to call them. I’m not gonna have anyone to do my groceries for me. I’m scared I might get an awful roommate. I hate the idea of communal showers. I don’t even know what I want to do after college, and I know I have four years to make up my mind, but I’m scared those four years are gonna flash by and I’ll be indebted and unemployed by the end of it.” You pause to take a breath, and you can feel Sunghoon’s eyes on the sides of your face, but he doesn’t say anything. “Also, I heard that you put on a lot of weight during your freshman year.”

You turn to look at him to find him smiling at you. “Wow. That’s a lot.”

The two of you giggle, eyes not leaving the other’s. After a moment, you turn your gaze back to the ceiling and sigh. “Yeah, I know. But I’m more excited than I am scared. What about you?”

Sunghoon follows your gaze and looks up above him. He doesn’t say anything for a while, and when he finally speaks up, he says it so quietly, you almost don’t hear it. “I’m scared of going to college a virgin.”

You try to stay serious for a few seconds, but you can’t keep your laughter in and snort loudly at your friend’s words, laughing so hard your stomach starts to hurt.

“Don’t make fun of me!” he whines, hands coming up to cover his face.

It takes you a while to calm down; not only was Sunghoon’s statement ridiculous, it was so unexpected that you couldn’t stop laughing. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you apologize, catching your breath. “I just can’t believe that that’s what you’re scared of, of all things.”

“What? It’s a perfectly reasonable concern,” he defends himself.

“Nobody’s gonna care if you’re a virgin, Hoon,” you try to reason with him, but if there is one thing your best friend is, it’s stubborn.

“I’m gonna care! What if I like a girl but I can’t bring myself to make a move on her ‘cause I have no experience?”

“But Hoon, chances are she doesn’t have a lot more experience than you do! She’ll be the same age we are, dummy. We’re not sixteen year-olds jumping into a world of twenty year-olds. Sure, some people have their first time in high school, but a lot do it at university. You’ll be fine,” you reassure. His furrowed eyebrows and pout tell you he’s not fully convinced, though.

“Oh, c’mon! If you really want to lose your virginity before leaving, we can get you laid during the summer. I’m sure we can find a girl nice enough,” you tease, jokingly patting his bicep, trying not to make a note of how firm the skin feels under your hand.

Sunghoon sighs, and you can tell he’s actually taking this seriously. “I’m not that desperate that I’d have sex with the first girl that agrees, you know. I’d still rather do it with someone…” He glances at you for just a second. “Someone I trust.”

You feel your face heat up at the possible meaning behind his words, so you look away, not wanting him to see the effect they had on you. He changes his position on the bed, and now it’s his turn to prop himself up on his elbows and look down at you.

“What about you, Y/N? Don’t you think it’d be good to get a bit of experience before going off to college? It’ll be one less thing to stress about,” he says, a small smirk playing on his lips, and his shy demeanor from moments prior is completely gone. Out of fear that his ego would get even bigger, you'd never tell him, but you love it when he gets like that - when he thinks he’s the shit and teases you mercilessly. You know he does it lightheartedly, and it never fails to bring a smile to your face.

Except right now it does. You’re not smiling, far from it; you’re looking up at your best friend, mouth slightly agape and wide eyes searching for a sign that he may be just joking. He raises an eyebrow expectantly, and your reaction is to scoff at him. 

“Do I need to remind you that you’re the reason I have no experience to begin with, Park Sunghoon?” you ask, sitting up on the bed to peer down at him. He shifts again and lays on his back, his hands coming up behind his head as he beams at you.

“Am I really?”

You wish you could slap that shit-eating grin off of his face. This is not the first time you're having this conversation. “Yes, Hoon. Every time a guy was even remotely interested in me, you chased them away. I’m still not over you telling Kang Taehyun I have smelly feet! I had a huge crush on that guy!”

Sunghoon loudly laughs at the memory, and you curse yourself for cracking a smile when you see his face scrunched in laughter. “That was in Year 5, Y/N! It’s been years!”

You grab a pillow and throw it at his head, unable to not laugh along with him. “What about Bang Yedam, then? That was only last year, and you totally ruined my chances with him!”

“Listen, if you having a creepy doll collection is enough to make him not ask you out, then he must not have liked you that much.”

“But I don’t have a creepy doll collection! That’s the whole point!” you say, on the brink of desperation. You sigh at your friend who’s still catching his breath from laughing so much. “You’re just lucky they didn’t repeat your bullshit to anyone. I would’ve had such a weird reputation otherwise.”

“Of course they didn’t. I told them I’d kill them if they did,” he stated matter-of-factly, as if that was a normal and appropriate thing to do.

“Couldn’t you have threatened them that way so they wouldn’t ask me out instead of lying to them about me?”

Sunghoon stares at you for a few seconds, eyes seemingly empty of thought. “Huh. Yeah, I guess I could’ve done that.”

“Ugh,” you groan, and plop down on the bed next to him. Neither of you says anything for some time, until you break the silence again. “You know you even stole my first kiss, Hoon,” you speak softly.

“I know,” he says, voice just as quiet as yours. “You never shut up about it.”

“Why would I? I was about to kiss Lee Heeseung, of all people, the boy everybody, including me, had a crush on, but no, someone had to get between us and kiss me in his stead,” you grumble, giving your friend a harsh side-eye.

Sunghoon sighs and shakes his head as if you’re being irrational. “I don’t get why you’re so hung-up on that. Why would you want your first kiss to be because of a middle-school party dare rather than have it with your best friend, whom you know and trust?”

“It was Lee Heeseung, for God’s sake!”

“And I’m Park Sunghoon!”

Still both laying on your backs, you turn your heads to look at each other. There’s something in his eyes you’ve never seen before that you can’t quite put your finger on. The person in front of you is one you’ve known for years now and yet the look in his eyes is of such unfamiliar intensity that it makes your stomach flip. You inhale sharply when his eyes drift down to your lips, and you can’t help but mirror his actions. The atmosphere has flipped like a light switch; it was playful just mere seconds ago, the sound of your usual banter filling up the room. All of a sudden, there’s something heavy dancing in the air around you, and it makes your heart skip a bit faster and your breath a bit shallower.

Your voice is barely above a whisper when you say his name.

“Yeah?” His eyes snap back up to yours, but you're still stuck on his lips. Have they always looked so kissable?

“Why did you do that? Why did you push those boys away from me?” you ask, even though you’ve asked this question a thousand times before. You want to hear his answer again.

“I’ve already told you. You deserved better than them.” Whenever you ask him about it, Sunghoon always stops here, and you never push. But there are unspoken words left hanging that you’re dying to hear.

“Who, then? Who’d be better than them?”

He's quiet for a second. “It’s a secret,” he whispers finally, a small smirk teasing his lips, and you roll your eyes at him. But then your eyes meet again and your breath hitches. You shift to your side so you can face him more fully, and he mirrors your actions. 

It’s his turn to say your name. “Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Have you kissed anyone since?” he asks, coming off shyer than he’d intended to.

You giggle and smack his shoulder lightly. “Why do you wanna know?”

He snickers too and, to your surprise, stops your fist from hitting him a second time, enveloping his larger hand around yours and laying it between the two of you on the bed. “Cause I should know that sorta thing. Also, if you did kiss someone since then, and I didn’t know about it, I'd be upset.”

“Why would you be mad?” you say, still giggling, trying to ignore the way your heartbeat quickens when he threads your fingers with his.

“Because you wouldn’t have told me!”

“Well…”

“No way, Y/N,” he practically shouts, already feeling betrayed, his free hand coming up to grip his heart in fake shock.

“Let me at least finish first,” you protest. He obliges, although he doesn't look very happy about it. “You know that summer 2 years ago I went away to camp?”

“Yeah, worst summer ever.”

“Well, I did sort of… get with someone, that summer,” you say, avoiding Sunghoon’s wide eyes as he gasps loudly.

“What? Who with? How come you didn't tell me?” he exclaims, letting go of your hand. He sits up on the bed and crosses his arms over his chest like an annoyed child. 

“Because of this exactly.”

“What’s this?”

“Your reaction right now!” you say, sitting up as well, both of your knees grazing his. The simple touch sends a shiver down your spine that you can only hope he takes no notice of.

“Wouldn’t you be a bit upset if I told you I ‘got with’,” he air-quotes, “a random girl two years ago?”

“No? Especially not if it was two years ago?”

You both look just as confused as the other, obviously not on the same wavelength. He furrows his eyebrows and glares at you. “Well, I am.”

You throw your head back in laughter and place your hands on his knees, but when you come forward again, you overestimate the distance between the both of you and find yourself mere inches from his face. The laughter immediately dies in your throat, and you feel it go dry when your stunned reaction elicits a smirk from him. You don’t know how long you stare into his eyes, all you know is you snap out of it when his gaze drifts down to your lips once more. You’re closer now than you were before, and having him so close makes your mind spin with all the possible outcomes of such proximity. You lean back on the bed, pulling away your hands from his knees to hold yourself up on them.

“There’s no reason to,” you say, hoping that breaking the silence will dissipate some of the tension in the air. You keep going back and forth between familiar and dangerous and you don’t know how long you’ll be able to handle that atmosphere. “It’s not like anything grand happened. We made out a bit and held hands. We never spoke after that summer, otherwise you’d have known about it.” 

Sunghoon lets out a low hum. His eyes are still trained on yours, and you wished he’d look away because you can’t seem to do it yourself. He still doesn’t say anything, so you speak up again. “You say that like you’ve never had girlfriends, by the way. Surely you’ve done more than just kissing.” Silence again, and you can’t decipher the look he’s giving you. “So, I don’t know what you’re so scared about, because it’s not like you have zero experience. I’m sure the girls at uni will love you, Hoon.”

He sighs and finally tears his eyes away from yours, and you’re not sure if you’re seeing things because of how dark and late it is or if there’s an actual blush creeping on his cheeks. “Sure, I’ve had a couple girlfriends, but you know they’ve never lasted long,” he says, looking down at his lap. “We made out… I guess I-” he gives you a quick glance, “I’ve touched their boobs and they’ve touched my… you know…”

You can’t help but giggle at how shy your friend is suddenly being. “Can’t even say the word ‘penis’, Hoon?,” you tease, and his eyes snap back up at yours.

“Of course I can. Penis! There.” You look at each other for a few seconds before bursting into laughter, Sunghoon hushing you so you don’t wake up his parents, but his hushes are louder than your laugh. After a couple minutes, you calm down and wipe your tears away, grateful for the break in the tension between you and Sunghoon.

“Anyway, yeah, I guess I don’t have that much experience. Which is why I brought it up in the first place.” And just as quickly as it’d left, the tension is back again.

You look around the room because the weight of Sunghoon’s gaze on your face is unbearable. You release a shaky breath when you feel his gentle hand on your knee, and your eyes drift to it, but you can’t get yourself to look him straight in the eyes. 

“Don’t you think it’d be good to get experience before leaving for college, Y/N?” he asks, and you can tell he’s trying to sound confident, but his voice comes out breathier and shakier than he must intend it to.

“I don’t know… I don’t think it’s necessary,” you say, eyes still trained on his hand resting on your knee. He squeezes it a bit, making you finally look up at him. Is it just you, or did the room get hotter all of a sudden?

“Not everything you do has to be out of necessity, you know.”

The both of you stare at each other for a few moments. This shift in your relationship was bound to happen; you’d been feeling it more and more recently. You didn’t use to think twice about Sunghoon taking your hand in his, nor did you feel those stupid butterflies eating away at your stomach every time his gaze lingered for a second too long. You’d tried to reason with yourself that it was just teenage hormones doing their stupid job, and that you were doomed to feel some kind of attraction for your extremely handsome best friend at some point in your life, but that if you ignored it hard and long enough it would go away.

Well, now that Sunghoon’s lips are barely inches away from yours and your skin is on fire under his hand, it definitely isn’t going away.

“What would you do if I kissed you?” Sunghoon asks, eyes fluttering down to your lips. You think he’s looked at your lips more than the rest of your face in the past hour.

“I’d slap you,” you lie, gaze mirroring his.

“Would you really?” he says, and your hesitation makes him smirk slightly.

“No,” you breathe out, and it’s the answer he’s been waiting for, the answer he needs to finally press his soft lips against yours. 

You don’t even have the time to savor the moment, though, because the warmth of his lips is gone as quickly as it came. He pulls back, a surprised look in his eyes, as if he can’t believe what he just did. The tension above you breaks and rains down on you like small pieces of confetti that settle comfortably on your head and shoulders. There’s a knot in your stomach but instead of twisting your insides in nervousness, it feels warm and makes you giddy for what’s to come next. Sunghoon’s surprised expression transforms into a grin at the sound of your laughter, and he can’t help but chuckle along with you.

You scooch closer to him, and his other hand comes to rest on your second knee. You can tell he’s not going to do much more, so you lean in bit by bit, and peck him softly on the lips. You both giggle again and you blame the fact that you want to feel his lips on yours again on the late hour of the night. You peck his lips once, twice more, giggling inbetween, but when you peck them a third time, he doesn’t let you pull away and keeps his lips on yours. The sudden added strength takes you aback, but it doesn’t take you long to yield to his touch and kiss him back. 

Sunghoon moves his lips slowly against yours and it’s surprisingly easy to fall into his rhythm. You don’t have the most experience with kissing, but something about doing it with your best friend reassures you and your whole body relaxes as you focus on the feeling of his lips moving in cadence with yours. The knot in your stomach stays there and tightens when his hands ride up your thighs and settle on your hips, holding you snugly there. You’re only wearing shorts and his palms against your bare skin make you release a shaky breath in Sunghoon’s mouth. You pull back for a bit, surprised at your own reaction, but nothing has prepared you for the way your best friend looks at you.

His pupils are dilated, dark; his glossed-over eyes bore right into yours. Your breath was already shallow from the kiss, but it’s his gaze that renders you completely breathless. Sunghoon tightens his grip on your hips and leans in for more, but you put a hand on his chest to stop him, making his eyes snap back into focus.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I don’t know what took over me. Are you okay?” he asks, as short of breath as you are, but worry laced in his voice.

“No- Yes- I mean, yes, I’m fine, everything’s fine, I just-” you shake your head, trying to gather your thoughts. “I’m just…”

“Tell me. You can tell me,” he says, rubbing gentle circles into your hips with his thumb, and the unfamiliar yet intimate gesture makes it even harder to concentrate. 

“We- we’re best friends, right?” you ask, voice trembling, You ask, even though you know the answer, just because you’re afraid the line the two of you have just crossed is already miles behind you, and you won’t be able to retrace your steps.

“Yeah, of course we are,” Sunghoon reassures, head tilting to the side in confusion. 

“And best friends… Do they… Well, it’s normal for best friends to kiss, right?” you say, trying to calm the overpowering urge to kiss him again.

Sunghoon chuckles and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I don’t know about that, Y/N.”

“Oh,” you breathe.

Sunghoon quickly catches on to your hesitation. “But who cares about what best friends usually do and don’t do?” he says, holding your face between his hands to make you look up at him. “I liked kissing you, just now. I really, really liked it,” he admits, red dusting his cheeks. “Did you?”

You nod, too shy to put just how much you enjoyed kissing Sunghoon into words. “Do you want to do it again?” he asks and chuckles when you nod again, eyes already on his lips. This time, you don’t stop him when he leans in and let him press his lips to yours again. His words have reassured you and you sigh into his mouth, making him smile into the kiss. 

His hands ride up a bit and settle on your waist, bringing you a bit closer to him, and you circle your arms around his neck. The shyness of the first kiss is completely gone, and you’re both gaining more and more confidence, letting everything go and focusing solely on where your bodies meet. He tilts his head, deepening the kiss, and you push your body onto his, a sudden need to feel him against you, to feel his strong arms encaging you. 

You pull away at the same time to catch your breaths, smiling at each other when you see how lustful the other’s expression is. Sunghoon’s eyes have glossed over once more, and you’re sure yours have too. “C’mere,” he whispers, beckoning you to him. You climb onto his lap, one knee on each side of his hips. “Is this okay?” he asks, but you don’t answer, you just lean in and kiss him again, holding his face in your hand as his hands roam your back over the thin fabric of your t-shirt. Your kisses are curious, the both of you trying to figure out what feels best as you tilt your heads from one side to the other and let your inquisitive hands travel each other’s bodies. Yours find purchase in his hair, and you revel in the sighs that escape his lips whenever you pull and tug at the strands. 

As the kiss gets hungrier and needier, his hands fall down to your lower back, and then to your ass. He just cups it for a while, but after a few moments, grabs it harder and brings you close to him, making your core rub against  the hardness that had been building in his sweatpants for a while now. The friction is unexpected and you can’t help the loud moan leaving your lips at the feeling. It’s a feeling you know from your own hand in the privacy of your dark room, but Sunghoon making you feel that way is so foreign that it snaps you out of the daze you’re in. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, was that too much?” Sunghoon scrambles for words, but you’re already pulling away, and he doesn’t know what to do to keep you close.

You sit back on the bed, holding your knees close to your chest. You look at your best friend in front of you who’s looking at you with a worried expression. Something in you craves to reach a hand out to him, to feel his cheeks and jawline under your palms again, to find out if he’d shiver at your touch and if goosebumps would form on his skin. He’s been your best friend for eight years, and you’ve always thought you knew everything about him, the same way he’s supposed to know everything about you. But you realize in this moment that there are things you don’t yet know, melodies to be discovered, treasures to be unearthed. Your fingertips are burning to find them all. 

The sound of your name resonates inside your mind and it takes you everything not to fall back on him again. You furrow your eyebrows, confused by all those things you’re feeling. What was it that just took over you, that lit your insides up so?

You straighten your back suddenly and take in your surroundings. Sunghoon’s room is still the same old room you’ve always known, the same blue walls, the same posters he only ever changes when he finds a new interest and lets go of an old one. The same pictures from when you were 10, 12, 15, recent ones now that you’re 18; the same figure skating trophies and medals on his shelves. You turn to look at your best friend. The same soft, round cheeks contrasted by a sharp jaw; the same almond eyes, round with worry at your sudden movement away from him; the same two moles you’ve always found so comforting, for some reason. You almost reach out to touch them, to give you some sense of balance, to reassure you that things aren’t changing as much as it feels like they are. But you’re scared electricity might fry your fingers if you touch him right now. You’re scared you won’t be able to take your fingers off of him, no matter how much it stings. His face is the same as always before, but there’s something else to it, something you could probably figure out if you spent more than three seconds thinking about it, but you’re not sure you want to figure it out.

“Is everything okay? Did- Did I do something wrong?” he asks, voice laced with concern. 

Before he can put a reassuring hand on your knee, you get off of the bed, and hurriedly say, “No. I just- I think I should go home.” You look everywhere but at him.

He sits up at your words, concern turned into confusion. “It’s 3 a.m., Y/N, why do you want to go home all of a sudden? You’ve stayed over plenty of times before.”

“I know, I just…” you trail off, trying to come up with an excuse. “I’ve got cramps. I think my period’s coming,” you lie. It’s better than whatever truth is threatening to bubble up.

“Oh. Right.” He scooches a bit, sitting on the edge of his bed. “Is there anything- like- can I do anything?” He sighs, steadies himself. “You don’t have to go, is what I’m trying to say.”

A few months ago, when you had finally wrapped your head around the fact that your best friend was an attractive man and that he made you feel things friends weren’t supposed to make you feel, you’d told yourself it was all just a phase that would pass soon. But feelings this strong surely cannot go away that easily.

You take a deep breath in and tear your eyes away from him. “I think I should go home,” you repeat. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Hoon.”

You turn around and start walking away, but Sunghoon is quick on his feet and stops you from going out the door. “Do you actually have cramps? Or are you just scared that our friendship might change?” He sounds out of breath, like asking this question is taking him all of his energy.

You avert his gaze and try to push past him, but he’s much stronger than you. Puberty sure played its trick on him. You sigh and look down at your feet. “I’m tired, Hoon, let’s talk about it tomorrow.”

But if there is one thing your best friend is, it’s stubborn. “I don’t wanna talk about it tomorrow. I wanna talk about it now. Did it feel nice?” he asks, and his resolute tone of voice makes you look up at him.

“I- I mean-”

“Y/N,” he starts, wrapping his arms around you and leaning in a bit, his familiar scent filling your nostrils. You have to close your eyes. “Answer me. Did it feel good?”

“Yes,” you answer without thinking. 

“Is that why you’re scared?”

“Yes.” Your eyes flutter open when you feel his fingers graze your cheek. He leans in again and traps your kiss in a much softer and intimate kiss that makes your head spin and your thoughts cloud. Before you can get carried away, you pull away again, and ignore how beautiful he looks when his eyes stay closed for a couple of seconds longer. He only opens them once you tell him once again you should go home, that you need some time to think.

“Let me at least walk you there. It’s dark,” he pleads, his grip on your waist still tight.

“Hoon, I live right next door, I’ll be fine.” You let him kiss you once more and he makes you promise to call or text him tomorrow.

When you leave, Sunghoon plops back down on his bed, arm resting on his forehead as he plays back the events of the night. Had he done something wrong? Something that made you want to get as far away from him as quickly as possible? He’d tried to be gentle and to make sure you were okay with everything, but he couldn’t help but get carried away when he heard those sweet sighs of yours. He thought he was going to combust when he heard you moan, and he wanted to hear it over and over again, but you’d jumped from him like he’d told you he had killed someone.

He hopes you were telling the truth when you said you were just scared about your friendship changing. He hadn’t wanted to push and get you to stay; he knew it was weird, seeing each other in a different light all at once. He wasn’t completely oblivious; he’d felt that same shift in your relationship those past few months, just like you had, although you’d never spoken about it to each other. He knew he could never go back to seeing you as just a friend when he’d jerked off one day and you were all he could think of. He kept imagining the sounds you’d make and the way your hands would feel on him, and he’d gotten so close to getting that today, but he must’ve fucked something up and now his chances were ruined. He curses himself for letting you slip through his fingers just when he thought he finally had you.

You don’t get a wink of sleep that night. Your mind is reeling with everything that happened in Sunghoon’s room. Your fingers unconsciously keep coming up to touch your lips and feel the ghost of his touch there. Your skin turns hot at the simple thought of how perfect his lips had felt against yours, and you toss and turn in your bed as you consider what might’ve been, had you stayed with Sunghoon. 

But it’s all happening too quickly, and even though you’ve been curious in more ways than one about your best friend for the past few months, you hadn’t expected to kiss him and to enjoy it so much on a random summer night. Your thoughts only seem to calm down and your eyes finally close just as the sun starts to rise.

--

The next day, Sunghoon wakes up in the early hours of the afternoon and checks his phone right away. A couple of notifications, but nothing from you. A text from Jake in their group chat with Jay asking to hang out at Sunghoon’s pool, to which he replies that they can come whenever. He taps a quick one out in the shower, memories of your scent and your lips on his getting him to finish quicker than he’d like to admit. He’s in the middle of a late breakfast when Jake and Jay spawn at his door, swimming trunks already on. Still nothing from you.

It doesn’t take Jay and Jake long to figure out that something is up with their best friend. It’s not like he does much usually, but today especially, he makes no effort to entertain them. He laughs at their jokes, but it feels like he laughs because he hears other people laughing rather than because he genuinely finds them funny. He barely even reacts when the inflatable pool ball hits him right in the face.

His friends don’t say anything until they’re all seated at a table by the pool, sipping on some ice-cold Coke. The air is still warm but the sun is low in the sky, hidden behind the house. Sunghoon is still lost in his thoughts, unblinking eyes fixed on a random point in the distance. Jay and Jake exchange a look before the former breaks the silence.

“Is everything alright, Hoon? You look out of it today.”

Jay’s voice brings him back to the here and now, and his eyes jump back and forth between his two friends who are looking at him expectantly. “Huh? Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just tired. I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night,” he says, leaving some of the truth out, but his friends know him better than he gives them credit for.

“Are you sure? I feel like there’s something you’re not telling us. You usually act like a little bitch when you’re tired, you don’t get all…,” Jake shakes his hand in front of his face, “distant like that.”

Sunghoon bites his lip, debating whether he should tell his friends about you or not. No matter how stupid they may be, they also know both of you quite well, so they might prove not completely useless, he thinks.

“Y/N and I kissed last night.”

It’s almost comical, how Jay and Jake bring their head forward in astonishment, how wide their mouth gets, how their eyes look like they might pop out of their sockets, and how they say “You what?!” at the same time. On a normal day, Sunghoon would've laughed.

“We kissed,” Sunghoon repeats, eyes drifting down to the ground in front of him as he rubs his neck in embarrassment.

“Fucking finally!” Jay exclaims.

“Told you it was gonna happen. No way you two were going to stay just besties forever,” Jake teases, punching Sunghoon in the arm. “How was it?”

Sunghoon sighs and leans back in his chair, letting his head hang back. “Really fucking amazing,” he chuckles. His friends holler for him, snickering like 12-year old boys who just saw a hot girl walk past. 

“God, I saw this coming from miles away. I don’t know why you kept on insisting nothing was gonna happen between you two,” Jake says, beaming.

“I really didn’t think anything would… I just… Started seeing her differently recently, I guess.” Sunghoon shrugs, sheepishly smiling to himself.

“So, what happened? Did you guys just kiss or…?” Jay asks, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Jake giggles at the insinuation of sex but has a curious glint in his eyes when he waits for Sunghoon’s answer.

“Yeah, um, we just kissed cause she- she sort of ran away?” Sunghoon admits, wincing at the recollection.

“You what?!” Chaeyong’s voice rings out in the food court of the mall where you’re currently sitting, halfway through your strawberry milkshake.

“Keep it down, would you?!” you scold her, smiling apologetically to the people staring at you and your friend.

“If it was so good, why the hell did you run away, Y/N?”

“I just- I don’t know… Freaked out, I guess…” you mumble, cowering under the harsh look she gives you.

“Well, have you talked since?” You don’t reply, just guiltily avoid her gaze. “Y/N!”

“I know, I know! I just… don’t know what to do. ‘Hey, nice making out with you last night, bit weird since we’ve been best friends since we were 11, but that’s fine, right?’ Ugh! That’s so stupid,” you complain, flopping back in your chair.

“That’s exactly what you should say. Going MIA on him will just make things weirder. Plus you’ve never gone more than 24 hours without speaking so one of you will eventually cave in. It should be you,” she says, looking at you with a raised eyebrow as she takes a sip from her milkshake. 

You scoff when she gives you a ‘you know I’m right’ look. “I’ll think about it on the way home and text him. There.”

And you do think about it on the way home; but you don’t get the opportunity to send the text, because as soon as you get off the bus at the stop right across from your house, you see Sunghoon sitting on the bench of your porch, looking around nervously and rubbing his hands on his denim shorts. You chuckle to yourself; who knew he got so distressed from not speaking to you for a day?

He stands up when he sees you approaching and raises his hand in a quick wave. “Hi, Hoon,” you greet, and you can feel his whole body relax when you hug him. So, you don’t hate him, he thinks. You sit down on the bench together. “Sorry I didn’t text you. I didn’t know what to say after… last night,” you admit, hugging your knees to your chest as you sit facing him.

“Yeah, I figured,” he chuckles, smiling shyly at you. “I was scared you’d never want to see me again.”

You look at him with wide eyes, mildly offended, and punch his arm. “How could you think that?!”

“Well, you did sort of run away from me last night,” he says, lightly punching your arm in return.

You tut in defeat. “I did, didn’t I?” 

“Yeah. I’m just glad you didn’t walk past me straight into your house just now.”

You chuckle and rest your head on top of your knees. “That would’ve been a bit much, even for me.”

Sunghoon lets out a puff of air through his nose in response, and then the two of you sit in silence. You’re contemplating what to do next when your friend pulls you from your thoughts. “Should we, um…” He shuts his eyes tightly in reflection for a second before opening them again and looking straight at you. “Should we just pretend like last night didn’t happen? Would that make you feel more comfortable?”

His words take you aback and your eyes widen a bit; you hadn’t even thought pretending nothing happened last night was an option, because you didn’t think you’d ever be able to actually get it out of your head. Even now, if you stare at Sunghoon for too long, your gaze will naturally drift downwards or you’ll get a flashback of his large hands around your waist. But apparently, if he can offer to pretend like the previous night wasn’t a thing, then it must not have been such a huge deal to him. You quickly try to hide your disappointment and nod at your friend. “Right. Yeah. Sure.”

Silence makes its way between you two again. It makes the late afternoon breeze a bit chillier and the physical distance between you and Sunghoon feel much bigger than it actually is. Wanting it to go away quickly, you ask, “Do you wanna watch a movie, then?”

Sunghoon’s never looked so relieved about watching a movie, and he immediately accepts your offer. You get some popcorn ready while he searches for a movie to watch. He clicks on a horror movie that looks like it’s got a cliché storyline and awful acting, but you’re happy for any sort of distraction when Sunghoon is sitting so close to you.

You and Sunghoon always sit close-by when you watch something together, knees and shoulders brushing against each other. Tonight isn’t any different, except that your skin burns everywhere it touches his. You can smell the faint scent of chlorine in his hair, and it’s so intoxicating you want to bury your face there and breathe it in.

You’re thirty minutes into the movie and still nothing’s happened when Sunghoon puts his arm around you, letting his hand hang over your shoulder. The sudden warm contact makes you take a sharp intake of breath as memories of the previous night come flooding once again. You don’t know what you were expecting, but Sunghoon simply rests his hand there and doesn’t do anything more for another thirty minutes, except for squeezing your shoulder when there’s a small jumpscare, making you chuckle at him. This isn’t much more than what you’re used to with him, but knowing your friend, he must be thinking the ball is in your court. So you scooch a bit closer into his side and rest your head on his shoulder, the scent of his skin even stronger now that your nose is so close to his neck. You feel his chest raise and relax as he sighs deeply and tightens his hold around your shoulders. His small reactions to you spur you on and you decide to wrap an arm around his waist and you feel him flinch oh-so-slightly at your touch in such a sensitive spot. He starts to rub circles into your shoulder and rests his head on top of yours, and your whole body relaxes into his. This is so much more than what you’re used to with him; and yet, you so readily melt under his touch.

You can barely focus on the movie because of how close Sunghoon is. When a particularly scary ghost jumps on the screen, you flinch and hide your face in his neck, and he giggles at your reaction, hand coming up to stroke your hair comfortingly. It only takes you a few seconds to realize what position you’re in, and you release a shaky breath as you slowly lift your head towards Sunghoon, only to find him already looking at you, seemingly having had that same realization. When his eyes drift down to your lips, you know you’re done for.

You call out his name, and he’s already answered ‘Yes?’ before you’ve had time to finish uttering the second syllable. “I don’t think I want to pretend last night never happened,” you admit, holding his waist a bit tighter.

“Good. Me neither,” he breathes out before leaning down and trapping your lips in his, the kiss releasing all your pent-up frustration of the day. The world seems to melt away with his lips on yours, the movie already long forgotten. Sunghoon pulls you into his lap and you slide your palms up from his waist, against his chest and to his shoulders before wrapping your arms around his neck, bringing your body closer to his. His hands are sitting on your hips, fingers lightly pressing into them and your lower back. Now that you both seem to know what you want, it’s so easy, just falling into this kiss.

His tongue darts out to lick your bottom lip and you gladly open your mouth for him, letting his tongue explore it. You haven’t kissed someone like this in ages, maybe ever, but Sunghoon takes the lead and effortlessly gets you to follow his rhythm. When a flick of his tongue against yours feels particularly nice, you arch your back and press your chest into his, making him smirk into the kiss. This time, when he brings your hips down onto his, letting you feel his erection against your clothed core, the feeling doesn’t make you want to run away; instead, you want to feel it again and again.

You fall into a nice pace of rubbing yourself against him, eliciting hushed moans and loud breaths from the both of you. You can’t concentrate on kissing him and grinding down on him at the same time, so you drop your head down to bury your face in his neck, leaving a few pecks there but mostly moaning against his skin, enjoying how your hot breaths make him shiver.

You can’t keep a whine from escaping your lips when he bucks his hip into yours and his tip brushes directly against your covered clit, instantly bringing a hand up to your mouth. “Fuck, Y/N,” he breathes. “I know we gotta keep quiet ‘cause of your parents but the sounds you’re making are so fucking pretty. I wanna hear them over and over again.” His words make you whimper against his neck and you feel your slick starting to pool in your panties.

“H-hoon. This feels so good,” you moan, breathing warmly against the shell of his ear.

“I know, right? Feels so good,” he chuckles, hands grabbing at your ass to bring you harder down onto him. His actions are about to elicit another moan from you when, all of a sudden, a loud jumpscare in the movie makes you jump away from the boy underneath you and yelp in fear, which in turn makes him scream in surprise. You look at each other, panting and eyes open wide, hands clutching at your hearts, until you burst into laughter. The fun moment is short-lived, however, as your mom rushes down the stairs not ten seconds later, frantically asking if everything is alright. 

You sit up straight at the sight of your mother and clear your throat. You’re thankful for the dark of the room which hides your and Sunghoon’s swollen lips and flushed faces from her view. “Sorry, mom, we were just watching a scary movie. We’re fine.” She sleepily nods and walks back up the stairs, and when she’s back in her room, Sunghoon and you exchange a look and erupt into another fit of smaller, quieter giggles. 

That night, after Sunghoon’s gone home, the both of you get yourselves off in your own beds, the strong memory of each other’s lips and hands bringing you both to your releases. Without even realizing it, you moan out Sunghoon’s name as your orgasm hits. The window from your room doesn’t face his; but still, your heart is beating so loudly that you’re afraid the sound might carry from your open window to his. You get up and close it.

--

Now that you and Sunghoon both know you want to kiss each other, you do it everywhere: in his pool, his back pressed against the wall; on the sunchairs when you were supposed to be drying off; on your beds in the middle of the night, none of your parents or siblings suspicious of anything; in front of your house, because even though he was supposed to just walk you home, he couldn’t keep himself from tasting you one last time; in the backseat of his car after an evening with your friends and he drove you two home.

You spend a good two weeks of just kissing before your body starts to crave something more. At some point, Sunghoon’s hands resting nicely on your waist or sometimes, if he’s feeling bold, grabbing at your ass, start to not be enough anymore. You knew you wouldn’t be satisfied with just kisses and sweet touches when one day, his hands slowly but surely slid up your naked belly before grabbing onto your bikini-clad breast, lighting your whole body up on fire. He’d slipped his hand underneath your swimming top and rolled your nipple between two fingers and you had felt his dick twitch under your core when you let out a loud moan at the new yet so pleasurable feeling.

You know what it is that you want, but it makes you feel dirty. Your fingers have made you finish a hundred times before, but wanting Sunghoon to make you feel that way is a whole other story. Is that even what he wants? Would he be weirded out if you asked him about it? Is there even the sliver of a chance that maybe, just maybe, he has those same thoughts about you, and wants you to make him feel good as much as he wants to make you feel good?

If his grunts and the way he ruts into you when your make-out sessions get particularly steamy are any indication, then the answer to those questions would respectively be yes, no, and yes. 

You’re lying on a sunbed one afternoon, letting the sun dry off your wet skin from the pool, when you finally muster the courage to tell Sunghoon about your wishes. After all, he is your best friend, and you know you can talk to him about anything. Even when that ‘anything’ involves his fingers inside of you and his dick in your mouth.

“Sunghoon?” you call out, turning your head to look at your best friend. He’s bathing in the sunlight without a care in the world. His skin has tanned a bit since summer started three weeks ago and his muscles are even more defined after all that swimming and working out he’s been doing. You want to reach out a hand, to feel the taut skin of his abs and chest under your palms, and to maybe then slide your hand down until you feel his hard-on underneath his swimming trunks. Your chairs aren’t far apart and you could do it from where you are, but you’d rather ask him first.

“Yeah?” he answers without turning towards you.

You take a deep breath in before you start talking again. “You know how you said it could be good for us to get… experience before going to college… And how we’ve been kissing these past couple weeks…”

“Yeah, I know,” he chuckles.

“Well… people do more than just kissing, right?” you ask, voice slightly shaky. This seems to pique his interest as he turns to look at you.

“Yeah?” 

You hope you’re not just imagining the enthusiastic tone in his voice. “I think… I think we should try that too, don’t you think?” you ask, eyes not leaving his as he sits up on his chair and turns his knees towards you, fully facing you now.

“Yeah, I agree. I completely agree.” He stares at you for a few moments as if in disbelief. “Do you want to- Should we- Let’s go up to my room, yeah?” he offers, standing up and reaching his hand out to you. You gladly take it.

You and Sunghoon are a giggling mess as you practically run up the stairs, unable to get to his room quick enough. As soon as the door is closed behind you, you wrap your arms around each other, your lips finding his immediately as he walks you back to his bed. When you feel the back of your knees hit it, you detach yourself from him and lay on it, elbows holding you up as you look up at him expectantly.

“Fuck,” he whispers, leaning in to hover over you. He traps your lips in a short but sweet kiss before pulling back and murmuring against your lips, “Have I ever told you how pretty you are, Y/N?”

You beam at his words but decide to tease anyway. “You always go on and on about how pretty you are, but never about me.”

He giggles and pecks your lips again. “Well, I’m telling you now. You’re gorgeous.” You kiss him to hide your flustered face, pulling him so close to you he’s practically laying on top of you. Your hands are a bit more curious than usual, your kisses hungrier, the both of you anticipating what’s to come. 

You grind against each other, the feeling of his erection against your barely covered core enough to send your mind into a frenzy. You forget everything around you when you feel Sunghoon pull back in the slightest, far enough so that he can look at your face and gauge your reactions but not too much that you still feel his hot breath on your lips. One of his hands is holding the back of your head as the other travels downwards, stopping for a second on your breast to massage it lightly before continuing its journey. It ever-so-slightly brushes against your core, making you buck your hips up into his touch, but his hand is already gone leaving you whining and pouting and him chuckling at your cute reaction. “You want it that bad, huh?” he teases.

You scoff, not wanting to let your friend know the effect he has on you. You press your palm against his clothed erection and he hisses at the unexpected contact. “So do you, Hoon.”

When he presses his lips to yours again, you both smile into the kiss. You cup his jaw and tangle your fingers through his hair, and his hand slips from under your head and joins his other hand on your thigh, grabbing at both of them, fingers slightly digging in your skin. He’s so, so close to where you want him most, and he seems to have noticed your growing impatience by the way you squirm underneath him. Seeing you so needy for him only makes him needier for you; he has more experience than you, so you probably expect him to take the lead, but the truth is, he has no idea what the fuck he’s doing.

“Y/N?” he murmurs, face buried in your neck as he leaves a trail of wet kisses there.

“Yeah?”

“What do you want me to do?”

The question takes you a bit by surprise. You pull away to look at your friend. His eyes are completely glossed-over, and yours are probably the same. “Oh. I don’t know. I just… want you to touch me, I guess,” you say, voice a bit quiet.

“I don’t know how to do that,” he admits sheepishly. He kisses your neck and cheeks before pecking your lips. “Could you- could you show me? How you do it? And I can show you how I do it?”

You take a second to take his words in. Was he suggesting that you touch yourself in front of him, and that he do the same?

This was like a dream come true.

“Yeah, sure.”

Sunghoon giggles in response, and you can’t help but crack a smile too, even though the idea of getting yourself off in front of your friend, no matter how appealing, is still a bit nerve-wracking. “You first,” he says, a mischievous glint in his eyes, and you roll your eyes at him.

You sit back against the headboard of the bed and slip a hand underneath your swim bottom, the other hand coming up to cover your eyes in an attempt to escape Sunghoon’s heavy, lustful gaze. “None of that. I wanna see you,” he says, pulling your hand away from your eyes and resting it on a pillow next to you. “And if you keep these on, I won’t be able to see anything,” he says, looking down at your bikini top.

Before you can protest, he comes to sit on his knees in front of you, kissing your neck and letting his hands roam your back. “I wanna see all of you.” It’s so easy, untying your string bikini, he almost thinks you wore it on purpose for him to take it off. You avoid his gaze as he takes your top off of you, leaving you half-naked in front of him. “So pretty,” he whispers, and you can’t help but look at him, slick pooling between your legs from the fascination he’s looking at your breasts with. He trails kisses down your neck until he reaches them, taking a nipple in his mouth and swirling his tongue around it, then looks up to see your reaction. You never knew your nipples were this sensitive, and you can’t help but arch your back at his touch and moan loudly, hand flying up to tug at his soft hair. He releases your nipple with a pop and moves sideways to pay the same attention to the other one, but Sunghoon is impatient and doesn’t waste too much time on it; he knows he can come back to your boobs later anyway. Right now, you’ve got a hand between your legs, and that’s what he’s dying to see.

“Can I take this off, too?” he asks, looking up at you as his fingers hook on the sides of your swimming bottoms, waiting for you to nod. His eyes don’t leave your glistening core as he pulls the thin fabric down your legs, discarding it somewhere on the floor of his room. He lays on his belly and kisses the inside of your knee as he holds your thighs in his large hands, still transfixed by your pussy when he says, “Show me how you do it, please.”

You both take a sharp breath in when you start moving two fingers in gentle circles over your clit, already wet from making out with Sunghoon. Your fingers are nimble and know exactly what to do after years of doing this, but the pulse in your core is even stronger now that your best friend is watching your movements this intently. He looks like he’s scared to blink in case he might miss something. You can’t take your eyes off of his face; you’ve never seen him so fascinated by something, so eager to learn. It makes you want to put on a show for him.

A surge of confidence hits you out of nowhere as you slide your digits down your folds, gathering some slick before sliding them back up to your clit and rubbing it a bit faster, a bit harder, your moans growing louder and higher in pitch. With your free hand, you tug at the base of Sunghoon’s hair and make him look up at you. You release his hair and bring your pointer finger up to your mouth, sucking on it and swirling your tongue around it, and Sunghoon’s mind is taken back to that day a couple weeks ago when you had sucked on those lollipops. Oh, how things have changed since then. Not that he’s complaining. “Fuck, that’s hot,” he breathes out, eyes zeroed in on your lips and mouth slightly agape.

You smirk at his reaction, stomach on fire with the feeling of having this kind of power on him. When you’ve wet your finger enough, you bring it down to your slit, circling around your hole before entering it, releasing a loud moan for good measure. Sunghoon is mesmerized by the quickening with which your finger slips in and out of you, the fingers on your clit never relenting. He doesn’t even realize he’s released one of your thighs to palm himself over his shorts until you notice it yourself and tut in disapproval.

“Come and help me, Hoon,” you say, and the boy snaps out of his daze at the sound of his nickname. He nods slowly, changing his position so that he’s laying between your legs, head dangerously close to your core. You slip your other finger out of your hole and he takes that as a sign to replace it with his own. One hand still gripping your thigh, he imitates your previous actions as he gets his pointer finger wet with his saliva before pressing it between your folds, right underneath your clit where your fingers are still rubbing circles, sliding it down towards your slit, and finally pushing it in. 

“So warm… So wet, too,” he whispers in wonder, making you cover your eyes with your forearm out of shyness.

“Oh my God,” you moan, arching your back and letting your head drop to the side on the pillow. Sunghoon’s finger is much thicker and longer than your own, and it stretches you out and hits a deep spot inside you you never could, no matter how much you tried.

“Like this?” he asks, eyes curious as they bounce back and forth between your face and your entrance sucking his finger in.

“Yes, yes, just like that, you can also- oh- you can also curve it upwards a bit- fuck, yeah, just like that, Hoon, you’re doing so well,” you say, the praises just flying out of your mouth. 

This seems to instill some confidence in him, as he cocks an eyebrow at you and speeds up his actions. “Yeah? My finger making you feel good, Y/N?”

“Oh, shut up,” you bite back, but immediately let out a long whine when he easily inserts a second finger in your soaking pussy. He curves them inside you just like you told him to, and the feeling of his fingers filling you up and your own quick ones on your clit are creating a familiar knot in your stomach that is so close to breaking. That is, until Sunghoon pulls your wrist away from your clit.

“Y/N… Can I?” he asks, and you’re not sure what he’s planning, but nod anyway. He wastes no time before pressing his tongue flat down on the sensitive bud, and you actually feel like your soul might leave your body. Fingers knuckle-deep inside you, he licks and sucks at your clit, and the warmth of his tongue against your folds is what makes you tumble over the edge, tightly gripping his hair and bucking your hips into his mouth.

“Oh my God… Oh my God, Hoon, please, don’t stop, please,” you beg, voice getting higher and whinier as you cum all over his tongue. He continues eating you out until it gets too much and you have to tell him to stop. He hikes his body up yours, pecking you sweetly on the lips when he reaches them.

“Your turn,” you announce and hook your legs over his hips to straddle him. You’re about to lean in for a kiss when you notice how lovingly he’s looking at you: his eyes are soft and a small smile is playing on his lips. It takes you aback, but you’d be lying if you said butterflies didn’t spread in your stomach. “W-why are you looking at me like that?”

His grin gets a bit wider. “Did I make you feel good?”

“Y-yeah…,” you admit, averting your gaze from him.

“I’m glad. You taste good, by the way. Sweet.” You want to kiss the devilish smirk off of his face.

You scoff at your friend, glaring a bit. “Whatever. Sit up,” you order, but it just makes him smirk more.

“Yes, ma’am.”

You look up at him to check for confirmation, and when he nods, you hook your fingers under his swimming trunks, taking them off of him along with his boxers underneath. His already fully-hard cock springs free and slaps against his stomach, and you curse yourself for your reaction that will surely just inflate his ego, as if it wasn’t already massive. Your mouth hangs open, eyes zeroing in on his length, flushed red from lack of attention and what you can only guess is precum leaking at the tip. It's straight from a porno.

“Like what you see?” Sunghoon teases, making you look up at him, and you can only stupidly nod. You take the position he was in earlier, laying your head on his thigh and caressing the other, letting it ride up to rub his inner thigh and the tiniest bit over his cock, making his smirk vanish as he takes a shaky breath in.

“Show me how you do it,” you say, echoing his words from earlier. He gulps, finally realizing that he was going to have to masturbate in front of your curious eyes just as you had. He spits on his open palm and spreads the precum over his length with his thumb, lubing himself up before gripping the base and starting to move his hand up and down. You watch as his head falls back against the pillow when his palm grazes over his tip and his movements pick up some speed.

You rub his palms over his thighs, itching to get closer to his cock and make him feel as good as he had done to you earlier. Tentatively, you reach out to grab his balls in your hands, massaging them softly, feeling satisfied when a loud moan leaves his throat. “Oh, f-fuck, that feels good, Y/N,” he breathes out, voice much higher than you’re used to. If he thought that felt good, then nothing could’ve prepared him for the feeling of your soft and warm tongue kitty-licking his balls, then taking turns sucking each one into your mouth and releasing them with a pop. “Where the fuck did you learn how to do that?” he asks, involuntarily bucking his hips into your face.

You can’t help but giggle, and Sunghoon thinks he might come from the sweet sound contrasted with your lewd actions alone. “I read a lot of fanfiction,” you explain, and he doesn’t question it. If Wattpad taught you how to suck dick, then so be it.

You wrap your hand around his and tell him to keep going so you can get an idea of what pace and movements he likes, and you graze your fingernails over his abs and chest with your other hand, chuckling at how sensitive he is when you lightly pinch his nipples. Sunghoon takes his hand off of himself, laying both of his hands palms up next to him on the bed, so you decide to literally take things into your own hands. Trying to recreate what he did before, you spit into your palm and wrap your fingers around his tip, bringing your hand down in a swirly motion to the base of his shaft. You do that a few times, asking, “Like that?” to get confirmation from Sunghoon.

“Just like that, baby,” he says, not even taking notice of the pet name; but you do, and your face immediately flushes, surprised at how much you like it.

“Baby?” you repeat, but he’s too lost in his pleasure and just hums in response. His reaction eggs you on, and you lick a long stripe from his base to his tip, swirling your tongue around it and humming at the bitter but not unpleasant taste of precum there. When another moan escapes his throat, you take his tip in your mouth, at first just shallowly thrusting your head, but then trying to take more and more of him. 

You’re so focused on what you’re doing that you don’t even realize how quickly he’s panting and how his grunts start to get whinier until he’s moaning out your name. “A-ah, Y/N, feels so good, ‘m gonna cum, fuck-”

He goes silent as he shoots his release down your throat, eyebrows deeply furrowed and mouth open wide in pleasure. There’s so much of it and you can’t swallow it all, so you pull your head back, catching your breath, and a hot string of cum hits your chin and your throat. Sunghoon takes a look at you and the sight of you with some of his cum makes his dick twitch before he plops back down on the bed. You giggle as you take tissues from the bedside table (cause of course he’s got tissues next to his bed) and wipe away his seed, then lie down next to him, brushing away the hair that’s sticking to his forehead with sweat and peppering his face with soft kisses.

He opens his eyes and smiles, turning his head to look at you before engulfing you in a bear hug, sweaty bodies sticking together but neither of you minding it. “That was so good, Y/N. What the fuck,” he sighs, pecking your forehead.

You hum, nuzzling your nose into his neck. “I know, right? Who knew you could use your mouth for other things than saying stupid shit,” you tease.

He pulls back and gives you a look that tries to be stern, but you know he’s joking. “Do I need to remind you again, young lady?”

You giggle and peck his lips, forcing him out of character as his dimples appear on his cheeks. “Later, definitely.”

And after that day, he makes sure to remind you time and time again of how good his mouth feels on you. You should’ve seen it coming with how amazing of a kisser he was; but truly, there was nothing like cumming on your friend’s tongue.

--

You’re relieved to find that not much has changed, after all; you and Sunghoon still play around in the pool, watch stupid movies and hang out with your friends like always. Sure, there are stray hands here and there, or looks that last a little too long and mean a little too much, but if anything, it just makes your friendship more playful and exciting. 

You’re both open with what you like and don’t like, so it doesn’t take either of you to figure out exactly how to make the other come undone embarrassingly quickly. (The shortest amount of time it took him was 2:38 seconds - yes, he timed it - and he hasn’t let you live it down since.) You like it when he presses his large hand down onto your lower tummy while he eats you out, or when he sits you between his legs and whispers all sorts of things as his fingers work their magic inside you and on your clit. He likes it when you get down on your knees in front of him and look up at him as you suck him dry, or when you sit in his lap and kiss his neck and play with his hair while he plays video games. And don’t even get him started on when you palmed him over his sweatpants while you watched a movie with Chaeyong, Jay and Jake, making sure that the movements under the blanket went unnoticed by them. He wanted to punish you after they left, he really did, but you took him in your mouth right there in the living room and gave him an orgasm that had his thighs shaking for five minutes afterwards. You were pretty proud of yourself for that one. 

You also find out that he hates it when you tease and edge him, which only makes you do it more; the only problem is that, if you do that, he’ll make you ride his thigh and won’t help you at all. His proud smirk and snide praises combined with the feeling of his thick thigh underneath your core were more than enough to get you to your end, though.

And truly, nothing has changed, especially not Sunghoon’s special talent in pushing boys away from you.

“What do you mean, Lee Heeseung is coming back?” he heatedly asks, slamming his glass of lemonade down on the outdoor table so hard you’re scared it might break.

“It’s the summer, of course he’s coming back. He just stayed behind for a bit to enjoy a few weeks of the city without college, and now he’s coming back here,” Jake explains, shrugging.

“Do you know when he’ll be here?” you ask, far too much excitement in your voice to Sunghoon’s taste.

“Just in a couple days.”

Sunghoon has smoke coming out of his ears when he sees how much you perk up at the news of your old crush being back in town for summer. He likes the boy, but he hates that you like him. And since Heeseung is friends with Jay, Jake, and by association Sunghoon, begrudgingly so, he’ll definitely see lots of him in the upcoming months. And if Sunghoon sees Heeseung, then you’ll see Heeseung, too. And that, Sunghoon doesn’t like.

You notice something is off with him that afternoon because of how uncharacteristically quiet he is. Sunghoon, ever the loud introvert, is always arguing for no reason and laughing louder than everybody around him. So when he merely chuckles at his friends’ numerous displays of stupidity in the pool and doesn’t even say anything in protest to you getting on Jake’s shoulders to play against Chaeyoung and Jay, you know something is definitely up. You also have a good idea of what that something might be, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t find it endearing.

You stay behind when your friends leave in the early evening. Without a word, you and Sunghoon pack away the inflatable toys in the pool cabin and clean up the table, putting the dirty glasses in the sink. You do the dishes while he prepares sandwiches for the two of you, which he insisted on doing after he heard your stomach grumbling. You watch the latest Kurtis Conner video as you eat and can’t help but notice that he doesn’t even chuckle at any of the jokes or skits when he’d usually be clutching his stomach in laughter. 

When you’re done eating, you take a resolute breath and pause the video, but Sunghoon doesn’t even notice, only snapping out of his daze when you call out his name.

“Huh?” When his eyes find you, he almost looks surprised to see you, as if he’d forgotten you were there.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” you ask, slightly frowning. “You look so out of it today.”

“Huh? I’m fine, nothing’s wrong,” he says dismissively and presses play, but you quickly pause the video again.

“I’m your best friend, Sunghoon, I know when something’s the matter and I know when you’re lying. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but don’t pretend everything’s fine when we both know that’s not true.”

He peers at you for a moment, cursing you for knowing him so well. He crosses his arm and averts his gaze, pouting like an angry child. “I hate it when you’re right.”

You giggle and make your way around the counter to him, standing inbetween his legs and wrapping your arms around his neck to make him look up at you. His hands come naturally up to your waist. “I just…” he starts, then immediately stops himself with a sigh., “You’ve always had a crush on Heeseung. But these are our last couple months together, and I don’t want somebody else taking up your attention…”

He buries his face between your breasts to hide his blush, and you can’t help but giggle again. “Stop laughing at me!” he protests, but the muffled sound of his voice just makes you laugh more. You stroke his hair and press a gentle kiss at the top of his head.

“Sure, I’m happy Heeseung’s coming back. But there’s no one I’d rather spend my summer with than you, Sunghoon, you should know that.” He leans back to look up at you with puppy eyes and a small pout. You cup his face, admiring how cute he looks like this, and smile softly down at him.

“Really?”

“Really,” you answer, and he leans in for a kiss.

It’s a soft one. It’s a patient kiss, neither of you urging to get somewhere else, to do something more. It reminds you of that kiss in his room a few weeks ago, when you were still curious and discovering each other. From then on, your kisses had become more feverish, more eager, more playful. But now, you’re taking your time. For now at least, neither of you is going anywhere. So your lips melt together slowly, and when you take breaks to breathe, you look each other in the eyes and smile before leaning back in.

It’s when you sigh against his lips, eyes still closed as you pull away, that it hits him. I could do this forever, he thinks.

I could sit here with my arms around her waist and her lips against mine and the smell of chlorine and the sound of her laugh forever and I’d never get tired of it, he thinks, but immediately afterwards, he realizes he won’t get to do this forever. Summer will end, you’ll both head off to college, and you’ll only get to see each other every few months until another summer comes. And who knows what might happen until then?

You might meet someone and realize Sunghoon isn’t all that; hell, he might meet someone, but he highly doubts anyone could even come close to the way you make him feel.

“Hello? Earth to Sunghoon?” you quietly joke, looking down at him with an affectionate look in your eyes. You press the pads of your fingers to his two moles before replacing your fingers with your lips, giving each one a quick peck. “You were up on the moon for a minute there.”

Sunghoon hums softly, smiling as he lets himself melt under your touch. “Sorry. It’s just really hot, isn’t it?” he says, a stupid excuse he uses as a blanket to cover his feelings. There is some sweat beading at his hairline, which helps make his lie more believable, but you don’t need to know it’s not just because of the summer heat.

Slowly, your smile turns mischievous, and Sunghoon can tell you have an idea in mind. “It is pretty hot… Wait here.”

He watches as you fill a tall glass with ice from the dispenser in the fridge and pop an ice cube in your mouth, a devilish smile on your face, and laughs when that smile is replaced with a frown as the coldness hits you and you spit it back into the glass, laughing along with him. “What the hell are you doing?” he asks between giggles.

“I got the idea a few days ago when we were having popsicles…,” you say looking down at the glass between your hands, slightly embarrassed. “You kissed me and your mouth was really cold but it felt nice.” Sunghoon hums, egging you to go on. You lift the glass up to his cheeks, applying just a bit of pressure to the soft skin. “I thought this could be refreshing.” 

You take the ice cube back in your mouth, sucking on it but not letting it melt completely before pressing your lips against Sunghoon’s and opening your mouth just a bit so he could feel the cold of the ice cube. You feel his smile into the kiss as the ice cube swirls between your tongues, sending shivers down your spine. 

“Very refreshing indeed,” he murmurs when the ice has completely melted. He gets up and takes the glass in one of his hands, leaning down to your level and says “C’mon” with the same mischievous smile as you on his face.

You two hurry up the stairs, and when you get to his room, he hands you the glass before throwing himself on his back, laying on his back with his hands behind his head. “Show me what you had in mind.”

You straddle his hips and take an ice cube from the glass, rubbing it over his lips before pushing it inside his mouth, the cold making him hiss. You quickly counteract that by pressing your lips to his, the contrast of your warm tongue and the freezing ice turning him on more than he would’ve thought.

When the ice has melted, you take another piece and brush it along his jaw, down his Adam’s apple and around his nipples. The cold temperature makes him squirm but he doesn’t shy away from it, even closing his eyes to focus solely on the feeling. While you play with the ice cube, you also leave warm kisses all over his skin, reveling in its slightly salty taste from the thin layer of sweat. You let the ice cube melt between his abs and watch him wriggle as he sucks in a sharp breath, then grab another one, starting off where the previous one stopped. You circle his navel while your fingers play with the hem of his swimming trunks. He pulls them down himself and you chuckle at his eagerness. “I should’ve known you liked the cold, with all those years of ice skating you did,” you tease.  

He’s almost fully hard, and it only takes a few kisses and trailing the ice cube down his inner thighs to have his dick fully erect. He’d only been letting out small sighs and hisses until now, but when you grab another ice cube and circle it around his sensitive tip, he throws his head back into the pillows and moans loudly. You push your luck and drag the ice cube down his shaft, his thighs snapping together when it reaches his balls. You put it in your mouth and let it melt so that your tongue is still cold when you swirl it around his tip, already tasting precum there. But before you can take him further in your mouth, he calls out your name.

“Wait. I don’t wanna cum just yet. My turn.”

He shakes his shoulders in excitement as you switch positions, you taking your t-shirt and bikini top off and laying on your back and him sitting down with one knee on each side of your thighs, an ice cube in his hand and a giddy smile on his face.

He brushes it over your lips before pushing it just a bit into your mouth, holding onto it with two fingers while you suck on it, gazes locked in each other. Just as you did earlier, he trails it down your throat and your chest until they reach your nipples, marveling at the thin wet trail it leaves in its wake. He licks this trail as he circles one of your nipples with the ice cube, and you don’t know if you should focus on his warm tongue or on the cold ice cube. Once it’s melted, he takes another one and circles your other nipple with it, his mouth coming to wrap around the now cold one. Your hands fly up to grab at his hair, your back arching into his touch as you moan and pant loudly.

He sucks and licks at your nipples until you’re calling out his name, begging for more. As nice as his mouth or an ice cube around your nipples feel, your pussy is throbbing and desperate for attention. “Sunghoon… Please,” you whine.

“Please what?” he teases, looking up from your breasts with a smirk.

You whine again, knowing he knows full well what you want. “Please…”

He trails the ice cube down your stomach, circling your navel a few times where it melts before slipping two cold fingers underneath your bikini bottoms. “Is this what you want, baby?,” he asks as he rubs his fingers between his folds, and you whine at the feeling of having him so close to your hole and to your clit but not quite there either. He smirks when you nod frantically but whine at the loss of his fingers against you as he takes your bottoms off and reaches for another ice cube.

You release a loud moan and arch your back off the bed when the ice cube touches your clit. “Fuck, Hoon!”

He rubs the ice cube up and down your folds, your heat melting it much faster than your skin. He takes another one and brings it to your entrance this time, circling around it before pushing the ice cube in and staring with wonder as it melts quickly. He holds your hips down so you stop bucking them up, whimpering at the amazing feeling of the ice against you. He replaces the ice cube with his fingers inside of you and his tongue on your clit, sucking expertly at the sensitive bud and lapping at your juices. And while it feels good - God, does it feel good - and you let Sunghoon know just how nice it feels with your moans, whispers of his names and the way you hold onto his hair, you’re craving something more.

It’s something you’ve been wanting for the past few days, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. No matter how nice Sunghoon’s fingers and mouth felt, they didn’t make you feel close to him enough. You wanted to be so close to him you didn’t know where you ended and where he started; you wanted to feel him. 

You pull him up by the face, asking him to come here and getting lost in his lips as soon as they reach your level. God, Sunghoon’s kisses. You could drown in them. But still, that craving, that need for more. And now that his body is pressed up against yours and you can feel his erection against your thigh, so close to your core, you think you know what it is that you want. “Hmm, please…”

“You keep asking me for something, but you don’t tell me what it is.”

“You. I want you, Hoon, please,” you beg, murmuring against his lips as you wrap your legs around his hips and bring him even closer, his cock now pressing against your cunt.

“M-me?,” he asks, leaning back just a bit, but you pull him back in right away, resting his forehead against yours.

“Yes, please. I need to feel you inside me.”

Your words are enough to get a moan out of Sunghoon. “Fuck, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this,” he pants, planting kisses all over your face and neck. Usually, you’d giggle at the ticklish sensation, but right now, you’re so drunk on pleasure, it just makes your breath even shallower and your core wetter.

“How long?”

“God. Since the second time we kissed probably,” he replies, reaching for a condom in the drawer of his bedside table. You think back to that moment six weeks ago (how has it been six weeks already?, you think), after you and Sunghoon had made up and made out on his couch in front of a horror movie. He’d wanted you for that long? And he’d waited for you to say something since then?

“Today’s your lucky day, then,” you tease in an attempt to alleviate the need for him that takes over your bones, but his gaze when he looks back at you ruins any effort. If anything, it just makes you need him even more. You feel like you might explode if you don’t have him right now.

You watch as he clumsily wraps the condom around his member, clearly never having done this before, but you wouldn’t be of any help, so you let him figure it out on his own. You let your head fall back as he rubs his tip up and down your folds, gathering your slick on his dick before aligning himself at your entrance and giving you a long, deep kiss.

“Are you sure about this?” he asks, forehead on yours.

“Yeah. Are you?”

“Yeah, I am. But I’m also scared.”

“Scared of what, Hoon?” you ask, opening your eyes to look at him. You caress his cheek and cup his face in your hands, watching softly as he lets his head rest on your palm.

“I’m scared of hurting you. I heard it hurts the first time. And I’m scared…” he closes his eyes and frowns a bit. “I’m scared it’ll feel too good. That I’ll always want it. You.”

You take a small moment to think, your thumb brushing over his cheek in what you hope is a comforting manner. “You won’t hurt me, Hoon. It only hurts if you’re not ready… And I’m plenty ready. I know you’ll take it slow.” You smile softly when he nods, turning his head to kiss your palm. But if sex is as good as you’ve heard it is, you’re also scared that it might be the best thing you’ve ever experienced and that you’ll never get enough. You and Sunghoon have been meeting up almost everyday this summer and it has more often than not ended up with one of you between the other’s legs; you could never get bored of the things he made you feel or of knowing you were making him feel those exact same things. If you couldn’t live without his fingers, how could you live without his dick?

How could you live without him?

You tried to snap out of those thoughts, reassuring yourself that even before all of this you couldn’t imagine yourself living without Sunghoon, and that there was no reason this should change anything. “And don’t be scared of that, silly,” you say, making him smile. “I’ll always be here, Sunghoon. I’ll always want you, too.” 

“Fuck, okay,” he whispers, kissing your lips once before pulling himself up on his palms, hovering over you. “Tell me if you need me to stop, yeah?” he asks and waits for you to nod before finally pushing in.

You instantly moan when you feel his tip inside you, and Sunghoon stops, frantically asking if you’re okay. It takes some convincing to get him to push himself further in. “It feels so good, Hoon. Please keep going.”

You tell him to not stop until he’s fully inside you, and he obeys, even though he wants to stop when he sees your frown and your sharp intakes of breath. When he’s buried to a hilt, he can’t help but collapse on top of you, burying his face in your neck and wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. “Y/N,” he drawls out. “Feels so fucking good. So tight,” he murmurs against your neck.

“Mmh. Give me a minute, baby.” Your hands caress up and down the expanse of his back and you feel him relax on top of you. As you adjust around his length, the stretch starts to feel more and more pleasurable, until pleasure is the only thing you feel. “Hoon?”

“Yeah?” he says, kissing and nibbling softly at your neck and earlobe.

“You can move, now.”

Sunghoon doesn’t need to be told twice and ever-so-slowly slides out of you, leaving only the tip in before he slides back in. His thrusts are slow but deep, and it’s everything you’ve ever wanted and more. He’s barely started but you’re both already whimpering messes, holding onto each other tightly as pleasure like neither of you has felt before takes over your entire bodies.

As you both get more comfortable, his pace picks up just a tiny bit and you tentatively raise your legs higher so that they’re hooked around the back of his knees instead of laying on the bed. The new angle only adds to the intense pleasure, but you don’t even realize you’re crying until Sunghoon stops mid-thrust, wiping your tears with his thumb and worryingly asking if you’re okay and if it hurts and if he should stop. You open your eyes and smile, instantly calming his nerves. You bring his head closer to yours and kiss him like you’d stop breathing if you didn’t. “It feels so fucking good, Hoon. So, so good.”

He sighs out of relief and resumes his actions, heart swelling with pride that he’s making you feel so good, you’re crying. He’s always hated seeing you cry or hurt in general; but knowing what kind of tears these are, he thinks you look so pretty with tears streaming down your face. His hands grip your thighs a bit tighter as he quickens his pace, already addicted to the feeling of your warm walls taking him in so well.

He slips out a few times but you’re always quick to guide him back inside you. He lifts his body up a bit to get a deeper angle, hoping it’ll get him to stop slipping out, and he’s blown away by the sight underneath him. He thinks you’ve never looked so gorgeous as you do now, legs spread wide for him, cheeks flushed, brows furrowed and mouth agape for him. He kisses your tears, the salty taste bringing a smile to his lips. “So perfect,” he whispers against your mouth. “You look so beautiful.”

Sunghoon takes your legs and wraps them higher around his hips, the new angle hitting a spot inside you that’s making you see stars and has you moaning his name like it’s the only thing you know how to say. You feel that familiar tension build up inside your stomach much faster and much stronger than it usually does.

“Fuck, Sunghoon, I’m gonna cum,” you warn, and a harsher thrust inside you is what pushes you over the edge, the sensation crashing into you and making your thighs shake. An orgasm has never hit you this hard before.

You’re clenching around him like crazy and Sunghoon gasps as you milk him dry, his own orgasm hitting him all at once. He shoots his release inside the condom and stills inside you, breath completely taken away by the sudden, overwhelming sensation.

He lays on top of you for a moment as you both catch your breaths, trying to make sense of how something can feel this good without killing you instantly. He apologizes when his pulling out makes you wince and kisses the top of your head. He rolls onto his back, pulling you with him so that you’re now almost lying on top of him, head against his chest as his arms wrap themselves around you. You leave kisses all over his chest and neck and his hands caress your back.

“That was amazing.”

“I know, right?” he responds immediately, his enthusiasm making you laugh.

“Thanks, Hoon,” you say timidly, voice muffled against his skin.

“For what?”

“For making me feel this good.”

He chuckles. “No need to thank me, pretty. If anything, I should thank you for letting me make you feel good, and on top of that making me feel good.”

You hum at his words and you both stay there for a bit longer, enjoying each other’s warmth. Something blooms inside your chest, and you don’t know whether to let it grow or to squash it down. It feels nice, almost too nice, and you’re scared it might get ripped away from you and it won’t feel so nice then.

Friendship, sex, love. In those weeks spent with Sunghoon, those previously clear lines have blurred to a point they were all one big messy ball of feelings and not three distinct things you could tell apart. Has sex turned your friendship with Sunghoon into something romantic? Or is that just an illusion, and being so intimate with your best friend has messed up your once platonic vision of him? But was your vision of him ever platonic?

Haven't the two of you always been teased about liking each other for a reason? After all, you and Sunghoon didn't grow up together, and he’s never felt like a brother to you. He has always been your male friend; you’ve always been aware that he was your friend who was also a boy. When you'd moved in the house next to his, you hadn’t instantly clicked; it took a while for the ice skating prodigy to warm up to you, but his parents had warmly welcomed yours into the neighborhood and quickly became friends, so it was only a matter of time before he’d open up to the idea of you being around. Constantly.

You’d walk to and from school together, do homework together, go on family trips together, cheer each other on at your respective competitions. After his ice skating lessons, when his coach let him have the whole place to himself for a bit more practice, he’d tie your ice skates for you and drag you onto the ice rink, holding you by the waist or shoulders as he skated backwards in front of you, but also laughing at you when you inevitably fell. He’d tease you for getting second place at the science fair or for getting your arguments torn apart during Model United Nations, but the way he’d be a little nicer to you or share his food more often that week wouldn’t escape you.

Being a handsome young ice skater, Sunghoon had developed quite the loyal following of boys and girls alike who would come to see him at his competitions. He thrived off of the attention, but no matter how much he enjoyed his fans’ admiration, you were always the one he’d skate to after having won first place, hugging you tightly over the barrier separating the ice from the bleachers. Especially during your younger teen years, Sunghoon wasn’t one for skinship or PDA, so it always meant that much more to you that even after his most important wins, you were the first thing on his mind. It never failed to make your stomach flip, and all the death stares from his fans in the world couldn’t have changed a thing.

You were already close, but you became practically inseparable after Sunghoon’s injury. During the competition that would have gotten him a place at the Youth Winter Olympics had he won, his nerves got the best of him and he didn’t land his triple axel, hurting his ankle in the process. Ten years of dedication and hard work, ruined in mere seconds. To say that it destroyed him would be an understatement.

You were the one to bring him back up. You listened to him when he needed to vent, held him when he needed a shoulder to cry on, cheered him up when he needed to smile. He didn’t even need to tell you what he needed, you seemed to just know. You reminded him that he had a lot more value than his medals and trophies and that he didn’t need them to be complete. His family and friends tried their best to make him feel better, but their words never reached him quite like yours did.

Slowly but surely, his confidence came back. He’d lost his fans, but he’d gained a friend he knew would always be there for him. His dimples would appear more often, his laugh would resonate louder. His injury had made the two of you grow closer, creating a bond that would only strengthen over time.

And yet there were moments when being friends wasn’t enough. When calling him your best friend didn’t feel right. You had other friends, friends you were close to; sure, maybe not as close as to Sunghoon, but close nonetheless. And you didn’t feel that way around them.

Their laugh didn’t make your heart skip a beat. You didn’t want to bury your face in their necks and breathe in their scent when they hugged you. You didn’t want to know every single detail of their day. And you surely didn’t feel a pang of jealousy in your chest when they danced with another girl at your school ball.

You also didn’t crave their lips on yours every single day since it had happened for the first time and didn’t want to see what they sounded or looked like while getting the life sucked out of them through their dick.

Everybody told you it was obvious you were ‘more than friends.’ Why did romantic love have to be ‘more’ than platonic love? Why were there levels to it? You didn’t like the idea of taking your relationship with Sunghoon ‘one step further’; that wasn’t the way it felt to you. Rather, it felt like having to change everything you knew and create something new. Something where you could see him laugh and tell him about your day, but where you could also kiss him and graze his skin with your fingertips. Something that only you could share with him and only he could share with you. But you were afraid the friendship would fall apart if things didn't work out. So, instead of taking the risk of changing everything, you made sure things would stay the same. You’d tell the butterflies raging in your stomach to settle down and you wouldn’t let yourself fall into his touch in case it’d be like falling from the highest mountain.

That is, until he kissed you. Until this moment, right now, lying in his arms, ear right over his heart so you can hear it beat for you. You look up at him. His eyes are closed and a soft smile rests on his lips. He looks so peaceful. He always looks pleased when you’ve just been together, but right now, he seems to be in such a serene state, it almost makes you laugh.

Now that you’ve given in to your feelings, you’ve realized just how strong they were this whole time. Nothing has ever felt better than being in Sunghoon’s arms, than being able to see him at his most vulnerable state and to give all of you to him. All those things you didn’t know about him just six weeks ago, you know them by heart now. You’re sure there’s other things to find out, and you’ll make sure you will.

But summer won’t last forever.

A wave of sadness slaps you right in the face, bringing you back to reality. There’ll come a time where you and Sunghoon won’t be able to lounge around all day or lazily make-out at your will. You’ll go your own ways and not see each other for months at a time. The thought of that is unbearable, and you feel like looking at Sunghoon for a second longer might rip your heart into a million pieces.

When you sit up, tearing yourself away from his grip, he immediately opens his eyes, asking what’s wrong.

“Just need to go to the bathroom. I heard you can get STIs from not peeing after sex,” you half-lie. He nods and falls back into the bed. 

You rush to the toilet, needing to get far away from Sunghoon as quickly as possible. Even your pee smells different - guess that’s what having a dick inside you will do to you. You wash your hands and look in the mirror: your skin is darker in some spots, surely Sunghoon’s work. So not only did he mess with your thoughts, he also had to make your body all weird, too?

You splash your face with cold water, hoping it will bring you back to your senses. You and Sunghoon have been best friends for years. There’s no point in changing all of that now, is there? You’ll be leaving soon enough, anyway. Why ruin a perfectly fine friendship for a summer fling?

Those are your thoughts as you head back to Sunghoon’s bedroom, ready to tell him that this whole thing was a mistake and you should just pretend it never happened. But your resolve crumbles at your feet as soon as you step inside the room.

Sunghoon’s got a couple of snacks ready as he browses through Netflix in search of an appropriate movie. “How about Twilight?” he says when he feels the bed dip under your weight next to him. He kisses your forehead and pulls you down on the bed with him so that you’re lying back against his chest.

Screw it, you think. Whatever this is, it’s much more than a summer fling.

--

The rest of the summer goes by in a flash. No, you don’t try to make Sunghoon jealous by flirting with Heeseung; if the mention of the latter’s name was enough to get your friend mad, then purposefully twirling your hair or batting your eyelashes at the older boy just might make Sunghoon white-boy-punch a hole into a wall. And it’s not like Heeseung would try coming onto you, either, with how clingy Sunghoon gets when he’s around, always an arm around your waist and a glare that could kill Heeseung.

Sunghoon gradually opens up to Heeseung being around, even though it takes you reminding him almost daily that he’s the one whose arms you wanna end up in over anybody’s. After a couple weeks, Sunghoon stops looking like he's on the brink of starting a fight every time Heeseung so much as talks to you or hands you a glass of lemonade, and finally relaxes around him.

You spend countless sleepless nights with Sunghoon. You’ve probably memorized every single one of his moles by now, and you’ve made sure to kiss all of them. He holds you against him like he might lose you at any given moment. The only nights you don’t fall asleep in each other’s embrace are when either one of you is sleeping over at your friend’s house. On those nights, sleep always takes hours before washing over you, the lack of warmth keeping you awake.

Your friends and you spend entire days at the lake or by Sunghoon’s pool, not a care in the world. You rest your head on Sunghoon’s shoulder as you watch the fireworks Jake and Jay bought go off. Sunghoon grills your marshmallows for you, blowing on them so they cool down before handing you the stick. You try to ignore how the night air gets slightly chillier and how the sun sets slightly earlier, but by the last days of August, it becomes too noticeable. When September rolls around, you’re sure there’s a small crack in your heart.

You know Sunghoon feels the end of summer too. His kisses are deeper and his lips linger over yours a second longer. He frowns when he kisses you and hugs you, like he’s trying to remember what it feels like. His usual playful demeanor when you’re in bed together is gone, instead seemingly hellbent on making you feel good and almost begging you to say his name. As if you could say any other name. As if you could say anything else.

Neither of you mention your departure until the night before you leave. After spending the evening with your friends, you lie together in bed, the side of your face resting against his chest so you can feel his heart against your ear. He’s tracing patterns with his fingertips on your back, and it takes you a while to figure out he’s spelling his name over and over again, as if to etch it in your skin. When, once in a while, he takes his hand off of you to reach for his phone, you can still feel his fingers caressing you, ghostlike against your skin.

The air around you feels heavy, pressing the both of you down into the mattress. You wish the bed would eat you alive so you could stay there, warm against each other, as long as you like. You know you can’t leave without talking first, but the words won’t come to you. Instead, they float around the bed, weighing your heart down into your stomach.

“So,” you start. You're unsure what to say, but you know this conversation has to happen, one way or another. In the end, you settle on, “Excited to leave?”

Sunghoon scoffs lightly, his motions on your back coming to a stop. “Not really, no. It’s not like I’m leaving that far, and half of our school is going to our uni.”

“Maybe, but there’ll be tons of other people. Tons of other girls, too,” you add after a short pause.

“Don’t do this, Y/N, please.”

You sit up at his words. He covers his eyes with his forearm and takes a deep breath in, sensing an incoming argument. “Do what?”

“This. Getting mad at me when I haven’t done anything.”

“I’m not mad at you,” you protest, frowning down at him.

“No? Then what’s this?” he says, smoothing down the lines between your eyebrows and on your forehead with the pad of a finger.

“Whatever.” You nudge your head away from his touch. It burns. “It’s not like I’m wrong, anyway. You’re gonna have a bunch of girls at your feet, and you’ll know what to do with them, right? Now that you’re not a virgin?” you question, avoiding his gaze.

“Y/N…” he sighs, shutting his eyes tighter as if in pain.

“What? This was the whole reason why, right? Get experience with me so you could fuck girls better, no?”

“Y/N!” he says, raising his voice enough to let you know he’s upset but not enough to scare you. He sits up, looking at you with hurt and disbelief in his eyes. “What’s this all of a sudden? It’s not like I forced you into this! We agreed on it together!”

“So you agree? That this summer was just about getting experience and now you’ll use it on other girls and pretend like we,” you gesture between the two of you, “never happened?”

“What do you mean ‘agree’? I never said any of this! Don’t put words into my mouth!”

He watches as you get up from the bed, arms crossed and pacing his room. He calls out to you a few times, but you don’t stop to look at him until he speaks your name with a sternness you’ve never heard before from him. “What?” you snap.

“I don’t get why you’re acting like this out of nowhere! We both knew summer was gonna end at some point, and why we were doing this! Why are you blaming me now?”

“Because… because…” you sigh, scrambling for an excuse. Why were you doing this? The thought of Sunghoon doing what he did to you to another girl, making her feel as good as he had made you feel, kissing her like he had kissed you, made you sick. It made you see red, it made you want to make him wear a shirt with your face on it so everybody knew he was yours.

Sunghoon gets up and stands close in front of you, too close. You close your eyes. If you see his moles, you might reach out to touch them and let yourself fall even more. If you fall, you’ll need to get up, but his scent makes your knees weak.

His hands find your face, holding a little too gently, you think. Your small ones wrap around his wrists and grip them, a little too harshly, he thinks. 

You take a step back and finally look into his eyes. There’s hope in them; hope you’ll say what he wants, what he needs to hear. That you want him like he wants you. That you wish summer wasn’t over. That you’ll keep him in your heart until you can see him again. So, when what you say next is none of the above, he feels his heart sink down to his feet, leaving a murky puddle there.

“I can’t do this.”

You rush out of the room, practically running home. You fight your tears back until you slam your bedroom behind you, pathetically sinking to the ground as you let out a loud sob. You don't have the energy to get up, and cry into your hoodie's sleeve right there on the floor.

When you’ve calmed down a bit, you get up and lay in your bed, hiding your whole body underneath the covers. Maybe this is for the best, you think. If you end it like this, you won’t have the knowledge of whether he’ll wait to have you back or he’ll move on like nothing happened. That way, you can do whatever you want, not caring about what he’s up to. 

But even now, your hands subconsciously reach out towards a person that’s not there and your feet hang over the edge of your bed as though to get up and run to him anytime. You curl in on yourself to stop your body from aching for him. It doesn’t work very well.

Sunghoon stays where you left him for a few minutes, too stunned to move. Should he run after you? Should he let you cool off for a bit and talk to you in the morning? Would you be mad at him if he didn’t try to see you now or would the mere sight of him just make you angrier? He plops down on his bed as these questions run through his mind, butting into each other and making everything more confusing. 

He thinks back on everything that led to this, and his mind settles on that day a few days after graduation where his thoughts had dropped to the lowest pits of hell. If only you hadn’t brought those two damned lollipops.

--

The next morning, Sunghoon wakes up as if somebody had slapped him awake. He doesn’t bother to brush his teeth or eat anything before running over to your house, almost forgetting to put shoes on. He finds you in your room, packing the last of your things into an already full suitcase. He stands at your door, panting as his hands rest on his knees.

“You haven’t left yet. Thank God.”

“God, Hoon. It’s not that far between your house and mine. How are you so out of breath,” you say, glancing at him from the corner of your eye.

He walks to you and kneels in front of you, taking you in his arms before you can say anything. “Talk to me, please. Don’t leave like this. I’d never forgive myself if you left and you were mad at me, Y/N.”

You thought you’d cried so much last night that there was not a single drop of water left in your body, but you thought wrong. Your eyes immediately well up at his words, and he leans back when he hears a soft sniffle escaping you. Only then does he notice how puffy your eyes from all your crying.

“No, no… Have you been crying? I’m so sorry, pretty, please don’t cry,” he pouts, pulling you back into his embrace. It hasn’t even been half a day, but you missed his warmth so much, it only makes you cry harder.

After sobbing against his chest, possibly staining his shirt in the process, you pull away and in your light-headed, dehydrated state, spill your heart out. “It’s so stupid,” you sob. “We’re not gonna see each other for months and I’m gonna miss you so much and I don’t want you to be with other girls. I want you all to myself and I don’t want to be your friend that you fucked for a summer just so you could get experience, it was a stupid idea in the first place, if you wanted to kiss me, you should’ve just kissed me. But you didn’t just kiss me and now I’m scared that this all meant nothing to you but everything to me and that I don’t want to be friends anymore but you do and I’m mad that it took me all summer to say this even though I’ve known it for years but I didn’t want to admit it to myself but also you didn’t say anything and I’m mad about that too. Because there’s no way you don’t feel like I do but maybe you actually don’t and-”

Whatever you were about to say dies out against Sunghoon’s lips as he presses his lips to yours, interrupting your rambling. He pulls away, looking at you with a huge, stupid grin. He’s so stupid, you think. I love him so much.

“Fucking hell, Y/N. I’ve been waiting for you to say this so bad, you have no idea.”

You punch his chest, frowning at him. Those stupid tears won’t stop. Everything is so stupid. “Then why didn’t you say it first?”

“Because I didn’t know how to. You know I’m bad with words. And I was scared it’d make things weird.”

“I don’t want things to be weird,” you pout.

“I don’t want things to be weird, either. I want things to be nice and happy.”

You giggle. “That’s so stupid.”

“Right? It’s so stupid,” he repeats, kissing you again.

“Your breath smells,” you complain when he pulls away.

“And you have tears on your lips. Tastes salty,” he teases.

“Yeah, thanks to who?”

“Sorry.” He smiles and kisses you again. He holds you against him for a while, enjoying this last moment together. As long as he can see a smile on your face before you leave, he’ll be fine.

“I’m gonna miss you so much too, Y/N. And forget about those non-existent girls. There’s no one I’d rather be with than you.”

“How do you know? You haven’t met any of them yet,” you say, voice muffled against his t-shirt.

“I’ve met other girls before. None of them compare to you,” he says, and you immediately gag at how cliché it sounds. “What?! It’s true,” he giggles.

“You’re not gonna go and date a random guy, are you?”

“Of course not. None of them compare to you,” you say, lowering your voice to imitate his.

He helps you finish packing, and when you’re done, you lay together on your bed, not saying much because not much needs to be said. Your parents struggle to tear you away from each other and from your bed when it’s time to leave. He helps your dad put your baggage in the trunk of his car, telling you to not lift a finger so you watch him go to and from the car, leaving a kiss on your forehead every time he walks past you. You notice with a smile that he doesn’t carry much at once, making him have to go back-and-forth quite often.

After saying goodbye to your family, your dad waits in the car as you and Sunghoon hang back awkwardly, kicking small pebbles on the pavement. He takes your hand in his, making you look up at him, then takes the other hand, then hugs you close to him.

“I’m gonna miss you,” you say, as if that wasn’t obvious. You’re trying hard to fight tears from falling again, but it’s like there’s an ocean behind your eyes, water somehow never running out. 

“I already miss you,” he says, and that’s enough to get you to sob again, which makes him start crying too. You’re crying, he’s crying, your mom is crying from the porch as she watches the two of you, it’s a mess.

You force yourself away from him, cupping his face in your hands. “We’ll see each other soon, okay? And college will be fun. You won’t even have time to miss me. But make time to think about me, yeah? And text me.”

“I will. I’ll think about you all the time, I already do,” he says.

“Okay,” you whisper and hug him one last time, very briefly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. You’re about to walk away but he doesn’t let go of your hand and pulls on your arm to bring you back to him.

Pressing his forehead against yours, he whispers, “I love you,” and you sob.

“I love you, too.”

This time, when you walk away, he lets you go. He watches as you get into the passenger’s seat and as the car drives away, as it takes you away from him. You watch him stand there in the rearview mirror, until his silhouette becomes smaller, and smaller, and smaller, until you can’t see him at all anymore.

--

Summer went and fall came as they do every year. Dead leaves are falling but it’s a new start for you. It’s a new town and you don’t know anybody, but you click instantly with your roommate and make new friends throughout your first week there. You realize everybody’s in the same boat, and they’re all eager to meet people and are curious about college life. You love your classes but complain about them nonetheless. You eat more ramen than you’d like to admit and turn up hungover at a 9 am class on a Thursday. You pull all-nighters at the library and develop a caffeine dependency. You’re a college student.

You and Sunghoon were very dramatic when you left, you soon realize. You call almost everyday. He’s not there with you and you miss him but at least you don’t have to pretend you’re not stupidly in love with him anymore. Because it’s stupid, being in love, it really is. You wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Your first semester passes by almost too quickly, and before you know it, you’re on the drive home, already one eighth of the way through university. You’re excited to go home, but Sunghoon’s finals last a week longer so you wait around for him. When you complain about it, Chaeyoung tells you to get a grip. “You haven’t seen him in three months, I’m sure you can handle another week.”

And you can, but barely. You were about to explode but then he’s back and you’re in his arms and his hair is still so soft, his scent is still so comforting and his moles are still there. You kiss them both before you finally press your lips to his, and it makes you feel so alive, you could die right then and there.

You lie on his bed and talk for hours as if you didn’t keep in touch the whole time and it’s like you never left. It’s like summer never ended and you’ve just been lying in his bed the whole time, college just one big fever dream. 

But his skin doesn’t smell like chlorine anymore, and he’s not in his swimming trunks. It’s fall, almost winter, and you’re kissing Park Sunghoon. You realize you can kiss him whatever the season and you find comfort in that. It was a big day (you cried a lot when you saw him) and you’re tired so you think you’ll kiss for a bit and that’ll be all but then he whispers “I missed you so much” against your neck and a fire lights inside your stomach. Oh, how it burns. You think it might consume you whole, but you don’t dislike that idea.

In a flash, you’re on top of him, his shirt is off, your shirt is off, but it’s not enough so you take your pants off too and Sunghoon is confused as to why you’re going so fast, but follows you anyway. “What’s going on?” he asks when you’re done with the taking off of your clothes and have moved on to kissing and biting at his neck like it’s your first meal in ages, because it is.

“I missed you too,” you simply answer, and he smirks as he nods slowly, now understanding your eagerness.

“Missed me that much, huh?” he teases, letting his head fall back against the pillow so you have better access to his neck.

“Shut up. Kiss me,” you order, and he doesn’t need to be told twice. Your kisses are ravenous and desperate, very fitting for two horny people in love who haven’t seen each other in months. But the pulse in your core makes you too impatient to stay anywhere for too long, and really, it’s not your fault if you’re grinding down onto Sunghoon’s clothed erection, it’s just that he smells too good and you missed him too much.

Sunghoon laughs at you for being so impatient to hide just how impatient he is. His giggles keep him from moaning loudly enough to wake the whole house, and you laugh as you tell him to stop laughing.

“I’m serious. I missed you so much. Need you so bad,” you say as you get rid of your underwear and quickly do the same for his. He gasps when he feels you take his dick in your hand and brush its tip between your folds, both out of pleasure and out of surprise.

“Shouldn’t I get you ready? Stretch you out a bit?” he asks, his hands roaming up and down your back as he sits up on the bed so that you’re straddling his lap, and you shake your head no. You’re probably already embarrassingly wet from your short makeout session, anyway.

“I don’t care if it hurts,” you say, lining his tip with your entrance. “Need to feel you.”

You sink down on his cock, the both of you releasing loud moans at the long-awaited feeling. He lets you adjust to his size for a minute, but as soon as you move your hips just a bit, signaling to him that you’re ready for more, it’s over for you. He wanted to be patient and take his time, he really did, but you feel so warm around him and your small whimpers are so pretty that his resolve of letting you take the lead is thrown out the window. He pounds into you at a rapid pace that has you biting his shoulder to keep yourself from screaming.

You had imagined your first time back with Sunghoon so many times before. It usually involved a nice playlist in the background, fairy lights and candles lighting the room, hours of foreplay and sensual lovemaking, with a nice bath afterwards. Sometimes, when you were particularly needy for him, you imagined something closer to what was actually happening, where you’d rip each other’s clothes as soon as you got to the bedroom and fucked like animals (a bit much, admittedly, but you really missed him).

What you definitely hadn’t expected, however, was that you’d both cum in less than five minutes. What could you do, though, when he was hitting your g-spot over and over again, his length stretching you perfectly as he whispered in your ear how much he’d missed you and how good you felt? And what could he do when you took him in so well, clinging onto him as you told him how much you’d missed him and how good he felt?

You finish at the same time, hole clenching around him and milking him dry. He doesn’t pull out for a while, letting you collapse onto him as you both catch your breaths, just like you had that first time. “That was a bit quick,” he pants, and you can’t help but laugh. 

You pull back to look at his face. It’s so pretty and stupid. What a stupid face that you love so much. Do you love it because it’s stupid or is it stupid because you love it? You think that that’s a stupid question, and you kiss the mole on his nose, then the mole on his cheek, right next to his nose.

“We have all night to go slower.”

“We have all Christmas break,” he corrects.

We have the rest of our lives, you think, and you think that might be a bit much, but you say it anyway. Sunghoon hums and says, “yes, we do,” and you think maybe it’s not all that stupid.

Maybe it’s the greatest thing that’s ever been.

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