#and still in the latter situation
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@oneeyedoctogod omg this is such a good point! The way jzxuan’s actions are usually framed is that he is acting “in defense of” someone, but really, his priority is to “attack” the person he doesn’t like and just so happens to view as the perpetrator of a wrong, whether he is correct in that assumption or not. He is obviously correct in the Mianmian vs. Wen Chao situation but not in the Jiang Yanli vs. Jin servant situation despite acting on similar feelings of dislike for the “perpetrators.”
Random Thought #33: Idk how to say this without sounding like I’m tryna diminish Jin Zixuan’s one moment of unambiguous good, but I don’t think Jin Zixuan defending Mianmian would ever have happened if he had to do something more proactive than just…ignoring the words of a man he had been building a simmering hatred for over the course of a few weeks.
Jin Zixuan is shown (and explicitly said) to side with people he considers “his people.” While they are all hostages of the Wen during the indoctrination camp, outside of that shared victimhood, Mianmian is simply a stranger to Jin Zixuan, while his “defense” of her is simply refusing to move out of the way when Wen Chao—the man who had been targeting him for harassment every day for weeks on end—ordered him to. This is a very passive resistance. And not to say that this wasn’t a good deed or any less of a powerful moment, but if Wen Chao hadn’t singled out Jin Zixuan for bullying, would he have still ignored the former’s words to move out of the way? If Jin Zixuan hadn’t happened to be standing by Lan Wangji and Mianmian hid behind only the Lan, instead, would he have said anything in her defense? Would he have even physically moved to shield her? Is any of that in-character with the behavior we are shown of his throughout any of the rest of the novel?
#mdzs#and still in the latter situation#he is more proactive about his ‘pursuing justice’#in a way he just isn’t at the wen indoctrination camp#and i’d say this is also consistent with his behavior at the qiongqi path ambush#to his credit he actually does try to deesculate the situation#(in a clearly biased and disastrous way)#but when wwx calls him out on how his ‘deesculation’ puts wwx in danger#he lets his anger get the better of him abd lunges at wwx WITH A SWORD#wwx has known this guy since they were kids#he knows what jzxuan is capable of#it just so happens that he was wrong about intentions in THIS specific incident#which seems to be the story of jzxuan’s life#that he acts ‘ooc’ under very very specific circumstances
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obviously the interpretation of the ghost as visibly suffering and in pain and scaring hamlet bc he never saw his father this way in life + later fueling his fear of life after death, has a Lot of basis in the text. HOWEVER the version that will always hit me more emotionally is the ghost being commanding and frightening just as he was in life and still, even beyond the grave, instilling hamlet with intense guilt for simply existing
#hamlet#ws#a very 'i need to save my father' vs 'i need to stop being a disappointment to my father' sort of situation#the latter is also more emotionally complex to me bc hamlet still deeply loves his father but that's not the only thing driving him
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yeah i don't think this is the kind of advertising rachel needs right now-
#again rachel doesn't really have anything to do directly with this situation BUT#cait still included LO as one of the series she inflated the rating of with 5 stars alongside her own book#correlation doesn't equal causation#but it's still really telling that these are the kinds of works cait simps for to the point of RATING THEM HIGHLY IN HER REVIEW BOMBING#when they're really so problematic and controversial at their core#and are laced with so much casual misogyny and racism#the latter of which cait has a LOT of#though 'casual' racism is really understating it#she promoted herself from casual to competitive ranked racism#and yeah that includes touch of darkness as well which she also rated high with her alts and it's literally just LO: The Wattpad Novel#cait corrain#oh and sidenote#her 'apology' was not a real apology at ALL lmao#it literally opened up IMMEDIATELY with her using her medication as an excuse#for RACISM#watch out y'all you don't wanna take the depression meds that come with racism as a side effect /s#lore olympus critical#lo critical#anti lore olympus
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I’m half a man at best With half an arrow in my chest I miss everything we do I'm half a heart without you
Forget all we said that night No, it doesn't even matter 'Cause we both got split in two
If you could spare an hour or so We'll go for lunch down by the river We can really talk it through
Post Canon AU where Stiles calls Malia up to apologize for how he ended things and they reconnect for @scintalla
#teen wolf#stiles stilinski#malia tate#stalia#otp: i like the vision#otp: you remember it all too well#otp: that's the one#gifs#teenwolfedit#twedit#stilesstilinskiedit#maliatateedit#staliaedit#tuserbelovas#userayanna#tusercathrine#usermem#useremrys#userlolo#addys-beth#shelleyhennigsource#otpsource#teendramaedit#usergif#userthing#shelley hennig#dylan o'brien#i really went hard with paralleling similar situations when he had malia vs when he'd lost her and how much worse the latter are. like the#4x10 and 5x11 hospital scenes where they make up vs stiles sitting alone crying. the last gif is supposed to be his apology/i'm still in#love with you speech contrasted with the moment their hearts first met and they started improving each others lives.
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This might be a hot take(?) but i do like how Eddy become more grumpy as the show went between seasons
Of course he is more mean and kinda more aggressive with his friends.
But i think it's a great way to show how trauma can affect your personality, especially when it comes to physical abuse. Not every child that suffers like that is quiet and shy, some of them can mirror the bad traits of their abuser and they're just as valid to get love and support.
#Eddy's character has to be the most interesting among all the characters i love that ugly short king so much#he does act greedy he lies and he also yells a lot but it so so normal for a kid who suffer abuse from an adult#i found so sad how ppl will tell you he is the worst of the eds just for the way he is#despite the fact he has the WORST situation between the three of them#with all this i'm not defending his behaviour! it's still wrong and he should be better than that but as i said he is a kid!!#this doesn't mean i don't love chill eddy ofc!! but i do think the latter works better for his character arc#idk if he would ever do stuff like therapy but i do think he would reach a point where he is tired of just... being angry#i do agree with the hc that he is not the type of just having one job i do think the little bastard will have multiple part time jobs#he is unable to remain in one thing and he does have curiosity for everything#but aside from all that i just like the idea of him getting away of his family. not in the sense of never speaking to them#but more like... not having to deal with them every day.#that's when i think his more chill yet cheeky self will go back to him ahaha#also he is dating double d ofc#there's no future where i don't see them together giendkdn#don't think they marry or anything. but they would grow old together and Ed lives in the basement#eene
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i love that zams most powerful threat is a suicide chunkban lmao
#vid: It's Impossible to Catch this Player#i wonder if zam is also known for his kamikaze tendencies in this universe#or if it was just a situational thing since he was getting 4v1d trapped and naked#its probs the latter#he seems to be a minutetech kinnie rather than the other way around in this universe lol so suicidal tendencies are unlikely#but its still possible so who knows#gotta wait for the next installment#not ls#vidwatching#watchblogging#uu
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Yeets WIP FNF AU and rando fnaf oc at ya
#im alive dw :))#I've gotten into mouthwashing! :DD#the FNF Au. i kinda lost motivation w/ it but the jist it that BF and GF broke up due to some odd staged cbeating situation#crazy fangirls go BRREEA#anyways: it's either that BF and Pico are still friends OR he got hired by DD. MM and GF to assassinate the singng blueberry#i prefer the latter#the AU is set after... uhhh 25 - 19 = around seven years?? yeah- around 7 years after the Orig FNF we have so far! and 3 years after BF/GF#broke up. so. ye :)
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ring ring ring ring banana phone~! // @inverteds
[ txt -> ... x. ] hi. not spam, don't worry. it's the curse swallower, geto. technically a fellow instructor. [ txt -> ... x. ] satoru gave me your contact. i had some questions about your situation. from the sound of it, it isn't an average curriculum you're teaching, is it ? [ txt -> ... x. ] though, i don't think there'd be anything that could bait you into being a teacher if there wasn't some arm twisted behind your back.
#geto vc whats wrong with you. why are you here. share with the class#^ as if he's not in a honestly relatively similar situation as bro rn GBRTKHGBR#ft geto introducing himself by technique first name second bc he fucking Doubts toji ever bothered to note the latter at all BHKRB#THIS IS FOR THE ONE DIVERGENT AU I ASKED ABOUT BTW i figure that'd be kinda obvious but like Still BGKKHRB#MUSE / Suguru Geto#ROLEPLAY / Suguru Geto#━ ♔ to jump from anywhere & make it home : threads.#━ ♔ you sing but only the pavement listens : ic.
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ugh I have chores to do but what I really need to do is lay down and think about harukan for at least 4hrs while listening to labrador by aimee mann on repeat
#THE CONSENT SITUATION IS SO WEIRDDDD#and i think the way I'm writing them is true to their situation but also. fuck it's a lot to unpack#tho i think im painting kantarou in a worse light than I'd like to#i talk shit but he does genuinely care about haruka#but the problem is i dont think im writing him ooc HE REALLY ACTS LIKE THIS IN CANON#it's just maybe the situation is not one where he comes out looking good#idk i have to figure out the latter half of this fic still so maybe I'll work things out#i keep thinking 'how would someone who's never read tactics see their dynamic here?'#which is a good thought experiment and is helping keep me grounded BUT ALSO#ALSO i shouldn't worry too much about what a hypothetical reader outside the fandom would think lmao#fic tag#SIGH kantarou you are killing me
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why did the anime and the fandom reduce uraraka to just being in love with deku??
the recent chapters have truly made me fall in love with her character but im watching the anime and everything is so,, like it’s honestly whiplash
every pivotal moment for her character is because she likes deku. I loved the scene of her jumping to save him and it flashed to her family and her newfound motives. I loved to see her character being more than Deku. I loved that growth and though I was disappointed when it started mentioning Deku, I realized he was important to her growing and who she is as a person. (Although I love the manga for expanding her character past her admiration for him)
And the moment they had together as they fell was genuinely touching,, there was no blushing, no over the top crush, it was real concern and care. I loved it. It made me forget all of the obnoxious belittling of her character and made me realize that they can be together without force. It was so simple and meaningful.
The anime can make jokes that don’t include uraraka blushing! They can write an interaction between these two that shows not tells. Her immediately rushing to calm him down because she knew he lost control. The way she slapped him like how she saved him in the entrance exam and then asked if it hurt. The soft smile on her face when she asked if he was okay. The way she holds him steady as he stumbles to get footing.
It’s all so subtle. And it’s so refreshing after so much insufferable time the anime puts into pointing and screaming Uraraka likes Deku. Gosh it’s such a good moment aaa
But then it went back to cheapening her character and continuing to push her towards this arc of mundanity. She wants to be a hero that helps people!!! LET HER BE THAT!! goodness gracious stop making every single thing she does go back to deku. STOP CIRCLING BACK TO WHERE SHE STARTED ANIME PLEASEEEE
#i also don’t like that it keeps focusing on her things with deku when she is more than that#it’s so frustrating#because I love her#but at the same time they keep reminding me she likes deku every second and it turned me away from her character years back#I love her now but god the problem is still bugging me#and it makes me roll my eyes every time they have a scene together#even if it’s genuine#but I wish that wasn’t the case#because I think these two would be great together (platonically or romantically)#but I just can’t with the poor writing of forcing a relationship that is so one-sided?? or at least not as important to deku#like they need to pick a side with her#either go the heart wants what the heart wants no matter what approach that could tie back to deku and shinsou#or let her let him go like she keeps saying she’s going to#I would like the latter but at least the former would give a coherent understanding of her character and motivations#like why does deku and bakugou and todoroki and iida get to have complex relationships and motives and wants#and explanations and thought and writing put into those while also having time and effort put in#while Uraraka is be in love with deku or be like deku#she is MORE THAN DEKU OH MH FUCKING GOD I CANT WITH THIS SHOW#LET HER BE HER OWN WOMAN AND LET HER THINK FOR HERSELF WHAT IS WITH ALL THE GIRLS THINKING OF WHAT THE BOYS WOULD DO IN THEIR SITUATION#why can’t she have a moment of inspiration and then imbede that into her personal story and ambitions instead of making everything about him#they didn’t make todoroki like this so why did they do this to her#grrrr bark bark#im just upset ig that such an intriguing character that grows to be a person for the people has to have every action because of deku#she is great and I really like the direction her character is going and I wouldn’t mind them being endgame#but as the writing is now#I kinda don’t like this forced romance that could be so nuanced and powerful if it put in the effort and time that I know hori can do#bnha#bnha uraraka#izuocha#bnha critical
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recently, i frequently feel a wish to take a flame to my cold bloodless fingertips
i havent yet... because i dont have a lighter
#hmm... i guess the body's desire is both to give the fingers the warmth they need and the soul the pain it needs#external pain seems to be the natural surrogate for crying the body seeks when it's denied the latter#or maybe even when crying isn't enough.... maybe that's why people who can cry still seek it in extreme situations#it must be
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WOKE UP TO THE FNAF TRAILER IM SOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING EXCITEDD RAHARHAGHRGHRHGHRGH
#SPRINGTRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP#LETS FUCKING GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#jury is still technically out on whether at this point in time hes actually springtrap or if its still just william using the spring bonnie#suit. latter is more likely considering the knife and the fact that he was shown alive previously in the movie but you never know#the wear and tear on the suit doesnt look severe enough to be springtrap it just looks worn down cause of the age of it#also YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT KID IN THE CAR BEING DRIVEN AWAY FROM MIKE IN THAT FOREST DREAM SEQUENCE THING IS NOT THE CRYING CHILD#WHY DID THEY SPECIFICALLY SINGLE OUT THAT ONE KID. AND WHY DID THEY SHOW MIKE LOOKING SO DISTRESSED ABOUT IT#FOR SUREEEEE THATS HIS LITTLE BROTHER DUDE CMON#also im glad we have more details on mike and abby's situation but also i'd like more YOU GUYS ARE SIBLINGS RIGHT? why is mike seemingly#taking care of you on his own? please tell me all about your living situation at the beginning of the movie please so i can know exactly#what happened smile. tho hes probably gonna be vague about it and just be like ''its just me and abby now'' <- BECAUSE OF WHAT!#anyways. if the kid in the car ISNT the cc stand-in i will eat my fucking hat im so sure of it#anyways IM JUST SO EXCITED RAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#oh oh also VANESSA IS SUS AS FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean she was sus from the get go considering her name is literally vanessa. but like#HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE ANIMATRONICS BEING POSSESSED??????? the murders i understand cuz ur a police officer#BUT YOU SHOULDNT KNOW ABOUT THE GHOST CHILDREN>???????? HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT!!!!!!!!!!#UR WORKING WITH AFTON FOR SURE!!!!!!!!!#serena.txt
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as ever like: no two things Need to be juxtaposed, much less like material vs material deathmatch Only One Can Be Good, much less am i thinking i have thee objective word on fuckall b/c who does and it's like perfectly boring & unserious whenever someone just throws out Takes that are just "i think...[xyz] is [adjective]" like okay.
but anyways thinking of how, though differing in execution in a lot of ways ofc, deh & bmc start out in a v similar place & explore a journey to self-acceptance from a despairing starting point....it feels like a lot of the hindrance in deh's exploration of its own Theme there is in like, hey. :) hand on your shoulder. it's okay b/c you'll be able to be more normal. whereas w/bmc it's that it's okay b/c you'll be able to be more abnormal
#like hell yeah. and Normality is fake the way that things like Gender is fake so. what's more universally relevant here#versus like. the idea that a winning takeaway re: deh is Talking With Your Parents / Kid like#yeah that could be an improvement? in other situations; that Talking is dangerous &/or just not going to happen / be irrelevant#meanwhile nobody is ''normal'' & the idea of Normality & its Moral Goodness / Requirement does affect everyone#meanwhile that bmc is clear on jeremy's gaining supportive relationships means support for his relationship w/himself#whilest he's also able to feel better insulated from feeling Defined by whatever instance of feedback/input#whereas with deh it's like. All These People....but log off & all you need is at least one parent who doesn't hate you No Matter What#including your unfortunate abnormality....Just(tm) make the phone calls am i right? well now he at least has a part time job#meanwhile difficult to compare w/e's going on w/zoe/evan vs mpdg4mpdg jeremy/christine. latter are cute & a coherent relationship#former are [nothing] to [i'm taking psychic damage] & fuck if i know what's going on besides The Ultimate Romance(tm) (negative)#he was a boy she was a girl they could politely tolerate each other's presence. maybe forever :')#i really don't know what's supposed to be going on there so like. for real share Any reasons you like each other in Either love song abt it#anyways like No Need To Compare but for me the juxtaposition is natural b/c it Does feel like they can be looked at re: a v similar Essence#but one is fumbling around w/it & really Not sticking the landing especially while the other just does exactly what it's trying to do#and ofc it could only help that deh had to go so far from the original [???] ideas & more Farcical approach#vs i don't think bmc's envisioning ever changed so fundamentally along its development at any point#like deh's story does feel like it still has the remnants of the earlier farcier versions even in its bway form#story of A Bunch Of Wild Shit Happens To Our Protag Whaaat & sure ppl are humanized but you still never made room for like a quarter of the#alana & jared? they're alright but they died#anyways & in all these things it's like It's Not A Big Deal lol i am not here to strive to have thee true & final word#right tf on if you as well know them both & like deh more / think It was the more successful execution of its story#though i have natural enemies like say [trt loyalists who are Like That] or forever [deh haters who are Like That]....we're different#erased a tangent also mentioning how i like the Parent Approach of mr. heere's arc better than any parents in deh lol. like of course#it's Not about his Feelings or being Imperfect or Human. like ofc he has the feelings & is human & imperfect#but he just gets energized & focused like welp bummer but ofc i gotta give my kid more support w/whatever he's going through rn#like hell yeah. one fun song we're good to go#bmc#deh
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theres two slight variations on how you can characterize zero and one is keeping him very focused very serious murder robot for most of the time with the occasional snark for cool points and the other is letting him be a little silly
#example of the former is like most game appearances and an example of the latter is archie#granted dawn of x takes place before all the trauma so you could argue its the same zero hes just less serious bc lighter situation#however. i do love zero there#hes so excited to be doing violence its so fun for him. enrichment in his enclosure (fighting mavericks to bond with his friend#who is not having fun at all)#personally i tend to lean really heavily into the serious pragmatic murder bot thing tho#maybe a little TOO much. im still refining my zero characterization#finding the perfect mid ground
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#fan wank#ignore Morg#dot post#don't bother with gatchas kids#eh. Laura Baily pulled off pretty much that same backstory better and first.#I'm impressed that they had the balls to put rape backstory into a G rated game though#... hang on.#it's actually rated T? The fuck?#Well outside of the alcohol references that the ESRB is clearly a big weenie about it's pretty G-rated so my point still stands.#I should clarify that given the writers' known tastes this is almost certainly a page taken from LoGH and NOT Critical Role.#Lynette just happens to have more similarities to Vex'ahlia's situation than to Annerose's#The latter would probably actually bump up the rating depending on how deep in the subtext the writers and translators could get that
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woke up feeling ruffff but took my meds and went back to bed for a while n I feel a bit better
#only slept 4 hrs yesterday so was rly hoping to get a solid nights sleep today bc i probably won't tonight....#but i didnt sigh. but my options are either to plough thru w today and make myself do this even tho i dont rly feel like it#or cancel plans and stay in and mope which will inevitably turn into self harm so rly the latter is a non option lmao#its all okay ill get into the swing of things n have a good time once im thereee#and i always knew i was gonna feel a bit like this like its an open wound for me i just need to be careful not to touch it#bc how i feel isnt based in reality its just insecurity n vulnerability n ik it can take months to fully recover from a previous episode#and part of the recovery process needs to involve facing potentially triggering situations instead of avoiding them#bc otherwise ill get increasingly worse bc its not possible to always avoid and ill be defenceless again when it does happen again etc#like its part of rebuilding my sense of self n confidence n hopefully i can eventually start to trust other ppl again n lower my guard#bc it sucks being contorted into this defensive pose all the time and i would like to allow myself to feel genuine connection w others !!#and to stop instinctively flinching and waiting for the hit im tired of my mind telling me ppl r lying + trying to hurt me when theyre not#im being a bit dramatic like i am doing a LOT better than i was a few weeks ago. n i def can handle this one#and the risk of triggering myself is much much lower anyway in this specific situation. so long as theyre not hiding shit from me again#i can think of several ways that risk could skyrocket n unexpectedly spiral out of my control n it makes it hard to breathe just imagining#but i need to believe that it wont. so if-no WHEN it doesnt then next time ill have proof that i can navigate it n i wont feel so anxious#it makes me laugh how stupid this is from an outside perspective. my brain causes me so much weird n 100% unnecessary distress#but its the only brain ive got n will always have so i need to work with it!!#anyway all that aside i genuinely am rly looking forward to this afternoon!! ive rly wanted to start doing more nice things for myself#n the fact it coincides w missing smth that could incite my rsd is kind of for the best even if it is making me anxious#i cant let my life revolve around anticipating how ppl might upset me n basing my decisions off minimising that damage#n while it would be nice to have company.. well ik its just as fun going alone bc ive done it before! n i need a reminder of that#ah im gonna turn myself in circles if i think much more. i dont need to justify anything#i hope they have a nice time and i hope i have a nice time and i hope that eventually someday we can have a nice time together instead#of separately. and i hope that someday ill feel included and wanted by other ppl and wont be posting on tumblr every time this happens LOL#this comes across like im saying i need to learn how to enjoy my own company or whatever but i prommy i already do..#what i actually need to learn is how to trust n enjoy the company of ppl i care abt without constantly being scared theyll hurt me....#but thats not happening today cuz i got other plans woooo OKAYY im gonna stop ruminating and get some chores done sjdkfh#.vent#<- well not rly a vent bc its not like im channelling feelings here im just rambling bc i have a lot on my mind. but still#this is prolly incoherent i keep putting my phone down and doing other things and then adding another thought LOL
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