#fan wank

[amplexadversary]

This is why I hold the unpopular opinion that the creators of the many worlds theory should qualify for the Nobel Peace Prize - its relevance to physics and whether or not it holds any water be damned.

I mean, worse people have gotten one for stupider reasons than an increase in peace, love, and tolerance on Planet Nerd.

(I'm being funny nobody shoot me)

So I think I've figured out part of my issue re: fandom. It's the flip side of being welcoming, I guess? Like. For some reason I got it in my head that "talking about a thing I like" is the same as "talking over/denigrating anyone who likes the thing differently than I do". If I enjoy a ship, I must be harshing the squee of anyone who ships something else, that sort of thing.

I don't know where the fuck this attitude came from, or why it's such a fear for me, or how to shake it off.

(but in case it needs to be said, I am not trying to step on anyone's toes! I hope my fan bullshit doesn't ever make anyone feel like they can't share their stuff! I'm just struggling with shame over sharing my own.)

[brienneevenstar]

whomst are these mythical braimes “defending” the age gap… if anything the age gap should’ve been bigger and nastier

[razzberrydazz]

I'ma be real with you chief, this is how it feels to be a BG3 F/F pairing enjoyer, and I'm tired of pretending it's not. The Astarion and Gale fics keep mistagging Shadowzel in their fics as main relationships when they're at best background mentions, and therefore clogging the search for the people actually searching for shadowzel. I and fellow Shadowzel enthusiasts are hard at work making more fics, rest assured.

[amplexadversary]

god fucking damn it

the problem with reading Dracula for the first time with Dracula Daily, and trying to join in on everybody posting along with it

is that, even when I limit the search to posts less than a day old, people are posting things in the Dracula Daily tag that haven't happened yet.

You know, when they could go in the Dracula tag.

Anyway I just found out about a major character death before it's even set up and I'm kind of annoyed.

[internetgiraffekid1673]

My brother (J-Dog) is Mentally Unwell about Fablehaven and is making it my Problem:

Today, my brother and I had a conversation that lasted so long that my dad literally had to stop it because he needed to take 5 minutes to talk to us about important things.

What was this conversation about you may ask? Well, it was all about Fablehaven, but it kinda went all over the place. It started with my brother sharing his thoughts about his current reread, which he started to settle a years long debate about whether or not Grandpa Sorenson actually counts as a responsible adult. This is part of a larger discussion about J Fiction novels removing all responsible adults so that great adventures can happen, and thus, what counts as "responsible adults being around."

While we agree that no, Grandpa Sorenson does not count, we did not reach a consensus on how irresponsible he is and how much of it is his fault. (I think he's a trash parent/grandparent, my brother just thinks he has some issues and was in a stressful time period).

This is because we got sidetracked wondering how on Earth neither of Seth and Kendra's parents EVER found out about the magical world given their canonical upbringing and the rules of the world. I described this conversation as "taking a wrench to the machine that is canon, but instead of tightening loose screws, we're just hitting it until it actually works because the writer is holding the hammer hostage." I will not bother explaining the mess that is Fablehaven's worldbuilding, but we could not come up with an explanation that didn't fall under "probably child abuse."

Did I mention I've only read Dragonwatch and the first book of Fablehaven, while my brother has read both mutliple times?

So basically, I spent the longest conversation I have had in MONTHS with my brother, arguing about/trying to fix plot holes that NOBODY else cares about in a junior fiction book series that I have not read.

I should also say: this is the longest conversation I've had in months. The previous one was also with my brother about his latest dnd character, and we were basically writing their backstory (he basically reinvented puss in boots, but it was an accident).

And then I sit here and wonder why I don't feel as unfulfilled as lacking in-person friends is supposed to make you feel. It's this. This is why. I don't lack friends. I just have an awesome brother who's great at accidentally monopolizing my social battery.

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem # 3963

When you actually want to be able to DISCUSS THE ACTUAL DAMN SHOW but fandom usually tends to be an infinite loop of "They're ALL polyamorous and in love with each other and if you disagree you're homophobic!!! Actually wait, I change my mind! They're all adopted siblings, so if you ship any of them you're literally disgusting, kys!!", rinse and repeat

[ikibli]

Does this man look 98 to you?

This is Jay Garrick from Young Justice. According to the series timeline, he is 98 in this scene. He looks early sixties at the oldest, and possibly could be mistaken for being in his late forties.

Joan looks a lot more reasonable for a 94-year-old woman done in an art style that doesn't really support realistic wrinkles, hair loss/weakening, liver spots, connective tissue weakening, etc.

That still raises the question- why does a man almost a century old look 20-40 years younger than a woman four years his junior?

Well, Jay's a speedster. Joan isn't. There you go, that's the main difference.

Barry could also be mistaken for being in his early twenties or even late teens, despite actually being in his late thirties/early forties. His voice is certainly squeaky enough.

The younger speedsters(Wally and Bart) seem to have aged normally enough- but then again, growth is different from aging, and Bart is obviously not still a baby, despite being born with super speed.

Jay is also able to pick up Barry and Bart and run while carrying both of them without any issues, as well as accelerate fast enough to pull them out of the way of Neutron's explosion despite having not even been in the area before that.

From all of this, we can conclude that speedsters age much slower than humans(about 1/2 to 1/4 the rate), and that aging is mostly cosmetic for them. They aren't really that much slower or weaker than they were in their youth, though they possibly have less stamina.

If that wasn't enough, the only surviving(as far as we know) members of the JSA are Red Tornado and Doctor Fate. You know, the android who was in stasis for several decades, and the magic user who actually looks his age, and explicitly suffered the normal side effects of aging?

Therefore- Jay will probably live another oh, 300 years. (Admittedly assuming the minimum possible aging rate, but even if he only ages at 1/2 rate instead of 1/4 rate(thus being effectively 60 at 98, instead of effectively 40 at 98), he will still live for another 80-100 years.)

The average speedster lifespan is thus not 90(as for a human) years, but anywhere from 200 to 400 years.

(Lifespan estimations calculated by subtracting 22(the age he got powers at) from 98(his age in 2016), then taking the result(76), and dividing it by either 2 or 4, then adding the result of that(38 for 1/2 and 19 for 1/4) to 22 until I get a result over 90 but less than 110 and eyeballing the result based on how many times I needed to add 38 or 19 to get ~90. It's clumsy, I know, but it works.)

[eelfuneral]

Maybe my time as an English Major has damaged my brain beyond repair, but I’m baffled by this sudden insistence that the interpretation of a text that the author intended is the Only True Correct Interpretation. Yes, plenty of people have bad-faith takes regarding certain texts and some people just kind of pull interpretations out of their asses without supporting evidence, but the existence of bad analysis does not magically cancel out the fact that someone may look carefully at a text and come to a different conclusion about it than the author.

This isn’t to say that authorial intent does not matter, but when a text escapes their watchful eye, it is viewed by a myriad of people with differing life experiences and perspectives. This varied readership means that people will see the text in different ways, and may be able to come up with an alternative theme or interpretation supported by details in the text. A text will mean different things to different people, and ultimately, it should.

Tl;dr- There is no singular way to interpret a text so long as you can back up your interpretation with details from the text. This idea is something that you are quite literally taught in Lit 1101, and I am sick and tired of people dismissing it.

[hxrpooner]

unfortunately there is a certain type of ao3 user who thinks that any sort of criticism of the things they post online is tantamount to censorship, and will immediately develop a hernia at the mere suggestion that they try to be mildly considerate of other people

like. i just saw a post on reddit from an intersex person talking about how they don't like the "intersex omegas" tag for omegaverse fics on ao3, because it misuses a word that is used to describe a real (and heavily marginalized and stigmatized) group of people to describe a completely made up condition that only exists in porn (having both sets of external genitalia). and it's pissing me offfff because the op is absolutely correct about it, but half of the people in the comments are being completely obtuse. shouting about how "it's just fiction it doesn't matter!!!! it's all made up it doesn't affect reality!!!!!" even though the op literally clarified like three times in the post that they think the concept itself is fine, they just don't think it's appropriate to tag it as "intersex." like WHY is this the hill you guys want to die on. i think you're just being fucking stupid on purpose

[bicokun]

It’s kind of funny that the last couple regenerations for The Doctor have basically been copying The Master. First The Master changes sex and the next regeneration The Doctor changes sex. The next time we see The Master he’s back to being a man but is now for the first time not a white person. If you don’t count The Doctor’s initial regression to her old face as Ten, the next new face he gets is a non-white man. If The Master ever gets out of that tooth (probability: 100%), he’s gonna be like “Why you so obsessed with me?”

[moved-to-piersgender]

Friendly-ish reminder that if you legit hate the fandom your series of choice has no one's MAKING you interact with it. Block liberally at the slightest hint of one of your most hated fandom tropes or don't interact at all, but either way, fandom isn't worth turning into a toxic ball of frothing rage.

[realrogerhours]

feeding my brainworms by shoving yisang into the skin of toei's most traumatised scientist

[bi4bihankking]

People who are like "you can't ship them! they're kids!" about m/m ships between 15 year olds are always super quiet when people are shipping 8 year olds in het ships but you didn't hear it from me.

[shonenvillain]

anyone who hates Uraraka and justifies it by saying she has no respect for the victims of bullying because she calls Midoriya Deku are just misogynists. like end of story. when he says it was used to make fun of him she explains she didn't realize that and then Midoriya himself says she can call him that!! even after Iida double checks asking him again! Then he makes it hiS HERO NAME THAT HE GETS CALLED PROFESIONALLY YOU GUYS ARE STUPID SHUT UP!!!! if you're literally only mad that his female love interest calls him Deku then its because you have a problem with women.

[onceactresspdx]

Because I don't want to be THAT GUY in a comment section:

I got a response on a comment I made on a Fic, and yeah it's going to bug me.

I say this because how fans treat Tim and the Drake's annoys the hell out of me, The Drake's are very solidly just mediocre parents pre52. I didn't even mention the Drakes in my comment. I was talking about Jason and how his family is depicted for god's sake.

Abusive!Drakes is mostly fanon. Tim's mom is on a fundamental level pre 52 reboot not even really a character. Jack absolutely has moments of bad and/or abusive behavior, after he has had a traumatic brain injury and lost his entire fortune. But 90% of the pre-Janet's death Drake family is just two rich parents who are trying poorly to hide the inevitable divorce from their son, and are stressed enough that he occasionally ended up in the cross fire. Then the results of a man who woke up from a coma to find his wife dead and his son living with a billionaire Jack could not compete with in any way.

Sending a child to boarding school is not neglect. It is normal rich person behavior. All over the globe, rich people send their kids to boarding schools. I would even argue that sending your son away from a city who's number one cause of teenage death is murder, is actively protecting your kid. Kids who go to boarding school are measurably more likely to succeed in college, including poor kids who go to one. I say this as someone who was a scholarship kid to a rich person school.

In my years of reading DC comics, I would even argue that the Drakes are actually one of the few couples who aren't (for the most part) monstrously abusive to their kid. Bruce wasn't, then DC made him into one. Willis and Catherine where sometimes sympathetic but haven't been in years. Steph's parents are just Jason's but weirder. I could write a thesis on Cass's bio-family and it's relation to poverty and racism. Duke's whole family got fridged AND he ended up with a dozen bad poor foster families.

Like, the way DC comics and Batman comics in particular treat their rich parents vs the poor parents is stark. Obviously there a wealthy abusive parents in the comics. But most of the canonical poor parents are either not characters, or made into monsters that make an abusive!Bruce look better in comparison.

And for the poor families, the actual depiction of the abuse is more graphic, and has lasting consequences on the long term story, while Bruce hasn't had any one of them go full non contact outside of Batman Beyond. Oliver Queen is hit and miss (ha!) in terms of abuse depictions, as is any number of DC parents that you could use as an example. But the Drake's are not examples in canon by DC as abusive beyond what parents in the 80's and 90's would normally be.

[illzazzorino]

"he wouldn't say that!" "They wouldn't have kids!" "They wouldn't--" it's fanfic. Click the back button and put it in the filters