#and sometimes I'm all they are soulmates and its very complicated

[smutteedreams]

ABYSMAL HEART (part 1)

Itachi x Reader

WARNINGS: sfw, angst, anxiety

a/n: i havent been very consistent with uploading fics, ik ik, and im sorry. im going through a terrible writer's block, among other shitty stuff and haven't been in the best frame of mind lately so whatever i am putting out isn't quite upto the mark but please bear with me

ALSO, requests are open but for a short time only since my finals are coming up soon

"It's getting quite late. Shouldn't you be heading home?"

Ino asks you as you flip through pages and pages of reports and proofread the drafts on your computer.

"Yeah I will, I just have a few proposals to write and then I'll be done."

"You have been working overtime a lot these past couple of months. Are you taking care of yourself?"

Working overtime is better than having to go back to an empty home.

"Yeah yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about me. I think your cab's here."

Ino gives you a light hug before heading off, her long blonde mane swishing at her waist. You keep on typing robotically for a few more hours, chug two or so more cups of mediocre coffee before you feel your neck and back begging for a break and realize that the inevitable is upon you as you pack up your stuff and make your way to the parking lot.

Lately, you've noticed that sometimes the drive back home triggers your anxiety- your furious tapping and scratching has left marks on the steering wheel.

"I wonder if he's asleep-no, I hope he's asleep", you muse. The traffic signals changed and only the raging horns and incoherent curses of fellow drivers break you out of your daze and you drive off.

Your home isn't empty per se. Its more so...lonely. As soon as you step inside, you can tell he's awake and groan internally. You kick off your shoes and walk to the fridge to grab a drink.

"Hey..", you try to get some sort of conversation going but only receive a nod acknowledging your presence in return.

You open the fridge and stand there, initially trying to decide what you want to quench your thirst but slowly getting lost in your thoughts.

"You shouldn't keep the fridge open for so long, the electricity bill is no joke."

"Yeah, I know..."

but this marriage is.

You plop down on the couch, Itachi's back facing you while you sip on the beer. He's typing away, forehead crinkling and stress lines getting deeper, working on god knows what.

"Boy all those graphs and numbers, it all looks so complicated."

"Yes but with patience and some research, its easy enough."

You look at the few feet distance between you and him that feel like a dimensionless void, one you cannot cross. Your body tingles and chills as the dim light bounces off of the shining metal band on your ring finger and you reminisce how your life is in dire contrast to all the emotions and notions it symbolizes. You want to reach him, stretch your hand and caress his hair, maybe pull it out of the loose ponytail. Maybe that's what you need to do. Maybe if you just show him a little more affection, he will stop being so distant, maybe-

"I'm leaving for a business trip tomorrow. Its important."

His cold voice stops your hand short of touching him.

"O-ok. How long will you be gone?"

"A month." The finality in his voice unnerves you more than you can comprehend.

"Did this just come up?" You ask, hoping he'll say yes.

"No. I've known about it for a few weeks."

That one last sentence is all it took to break your facade as you feel your heart shatter into a million pieces. You get up and walk away, sobbing and praying he doesn't see your tears. You turn the hallway leading to your room as you hear him call from the couch-

"Don't bother packing anything for me, I have already packed my-"

You slam the door shut before he can finish and bolt the lock. Your eyes land on a picture frame atop your desk- its a photograph of you and Itachi on your wedding day. You were smiling and blushing as he kissed your cheek. You remember the photographer calling you both soulmates.

You pick up the frame and the last crumbs of resilience in you dust away and your knees buck as your body falls limp on the floor. You wail your woes to the abysmal cracks in your heart, begging, pleading that he'll come for you.

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(likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated)

REQUESTS AND ASKS ARE OPEN

tag- @shestillbelievess

[i-left-my-room-tidy]

I'm also confused now mhmm

I mean... i'm still very indecisive about how I personally want to view the human mind, its consciousness, and realities... especially in regards to manifestation and reality shifting.

I must say i don't know that much about the writings of those people you mentioned. i'm currently reading neville goddard's books. English isn't my mother tongue. So, the archaic english parts REALLY confuse me sometimes but his way of interpreting the bible is really interesting.

Before getting into law of assumption and reality shifting, I was generally into spirituality and witchcraft. I even had a huge tumblr blog for tarot readings lol... yk through channeling my spirit guides and 'predicting' things so to say. Though, my way of viewing myself and the world I'm in changed a lot over the past view years.

But it's kinda like wanting to set puzzle pieces together but there are puzzles pieces from different pictures and some fit together (physically) that are not really meant to be together (image-wise) iykwim? And later on, you find out that some parts were wrongly put together so you have to revise it (your beliefs) and start again from zero... it's a difficult and really confusing journey imo.

And as i'm not really able to grasp the concept of this reality yet and what role my consciousness in all this plays, it's also really difficult to decide what role other people's souls and 'soulmates' play in this.

Oftentimes, I just want to simplify everything for me just because it all seems so overwhelmingly complicated. (Thats also why i wrote a very vague explanation in that soulmates ask - i tried to keep it simple.) Which reminds of what neville goddard keeps mentioning that humans always try to analyse everything even the simplest things and therefore always end up with complicated 'conclusions' which in turn makes them stray afar from the (very simple) quintessence. (idk if that made sense now lol)

I know this whole rant was probably completely useless to you, it just shows my confusion... sorry once again my mind is very scatterbrained and i don't know where im going with all those thoughts most of the time :')

Anyways, I still have plans to shift to a (what I like to call) 'spirit cafe dr' which is just a dr in a 'otherworldly' caféshop setting where I can talk with my spirit guides and other entities. And I plan to ask them about all this (and more)/to learn from them. I don't know when I will do it, probably not anytime soon because i'm busy with university but I definitely need answers lol

Btw have you already shifted to your jesus dr?

[thanks for this ask!]

and don't apologise for the rant! while i won't claim to understand everything that you've said, i do think you make a point with goddard's belief of analyses. i myself fall subject to that 😭😭

sometimes, we want to understand the world so much—and it's as if each change needs to be predicted, just so we fulfill our desire for knowing. i think that's where your experience with your worldview shifting and my habit of theorising fall under. as you've mentioned, the journey is a puzzle, and in some cases, the pieces never always fit together as expected. we both want to know what would be of us, and why; we want to know when, where, and how it would happen.

my best guess is that it's merely human nature at play. certainty isn't always guaranteed, as can be depicted by the presence of change itself. so, we try to make solutions for a problem that should have been left alone. I'm not saying it's inherently wrong, but the processes we take make it our lives harder than we need to. call it a lapse in judgement, if you will.

I'm not as versed with the concept of spirit guides nor do i always try to seek them out, but i do know they're very significant to everyone's journeys. that's mostly a matter of opinion, but don't let it stop you. i hope you get the answers that you seek!

and don't be shy about the rant! it's refreshing to see someone else's thoughts on the matter, actually. it usually takes me some time to respond, but i love long-winded discussions.

as for my jesus DR, not yet, because it's not that urgent for me as of the moment. I'm currently focused on my fame DR. but i do hope to shift (or mini-shift) to my jesus DR at least once this year, on or before christmas [just to celebrate it in time lmao].

[izabellq]

DREAMS -> Akaashi Keiji

summary: a soulmate au where you see each other in your dreams.

pairing: akaashi keiji x gn!reader

word count: 3k

contains: angst, fluff, open-ended (also, if you guys spot instances where i specify gender, let me know and i’ll try to fix it asap! i edited this but sometimes, things just slip by)

akaashi keiji thinks the world is cruel.

he swipes the dust off the leather bound book before carefully sliding it back into it’s alphabetized slot. he carefully maneuvers himself around the oak wooden shelves, letting his feet track footprints into the burgundy rug below him. with a sigh, he realizes he is yet again desolated. a library reverie dedicated solely to himself and his predestined soulmate. yet, it seemed the universe had yet chosen one quintessential for him. akaashi didn’t need perfect, but on some days, he just wanted to have someone.

the macrocosm was seemingly convinced he was unfit to wield one. strung on the idea that he was intolerable and unmatchable. akaashi’s pessimistic attitude had betrayed his hopeful one, and soon, he was unable to shield himself from the knowledge that perhaps-- there was no one in the world meant for him.

(he still desires one, because he’d love nothing more than to connect with the person who he was bound to meet. he wants to depict their love in unrealistic fairytales.)

nights go by where he falls asleep and lounges in his fantastical library. he decides he could write a book with all the time he has to himself. but then again, he knows better than anyone that most of his projects remain unfinished. he’s lost inspiration, captured by the nasty talons of writer’s block. he thinks he’s at the end of his rope, and for a second he believes it’s about time he goes down a different career path. but he doesn’t do that. mostly because he’s unsure, and partially because he’s still filled with hope.

(but when his soulmate never shows, he comes to realize that hope is a fickle thing.)

it's one random day of the week where akaashi’s schedule isn’t as rigid as it habitually is. after a long afternoon of practice (which doesn’t stray from the norm) he’s desperate for sleep, and despite knowing that taking a nap would complicate his circadian rhythm, he was rather desperate.

drifting towards the soulmate reality became a feat he was more than used too. the vertigo he commonly experienced was quick to depart as he molded into his surroundings, the familiar scent of paper musk and printed ink leaves much to be desired.

though, if there was one thing that was slightly unsettling— it was the disruption of books laid despotic on the floor. akaashi, though only sometimes forgetful, had never once committed such a polluted act. he was always careful to restore books to their proper position once concluded, so he wondered what possible entity could have disrupted the neat nature of his lonesome library.

(it’s when you round the corner that all his presumptions were answered.)

oh dear, he thinks, you’re a winsome mess. books pulled into your chest, pajama pants folded past your ankle, a tank top only doing so much as to cover your chest and stomach. your mouth is shaped into an ‘o’ as if his presence was the most stupefying thing around— when really, it was you. 

(a book slips from your grasp, a reverberation follows shortly. he tries not to wince as it lands on its pages, folding the corner of the paper.)

the moment of shock is lost and your look of astonishment is replaced with mild skepticism. “who are you?” you ask, almost defiantly. 

“akaashi,” he replies honestly, though the look on your face seems to morph in some sort of revelation that he can’t understand. 

“say it again,” the stern tone of your voice lets him know that it wasn’t a mere request but a demand. he isn’t quite sure why you’re so on edge but because he already seems like the most rational one between the two of you, he doesn’t argue.

“my name is akaashi keiji,” he repeats himself, his concern only multiplied by the sting of comprehension creased into the sight wrinkles of your face. a part of him truly understands the circumstance before him, though a portion of him doesn’t want to give into the naïveté— because for so long, he was cursed with the belief that he didn’t deserve a soulmate. 

“your words keep getting… blurred,” you tried your best to explain, though no matter how detailed your explanation, the experience couldn’t be put into perfect words. “you know what that means… don’t you?”

of course he knows. on days where he thought his life was the one exception— he researched every story about soulmates as he possibly could. some were undoubtedly fake, others were heartwarming, but the one common piece of information he stumbled upon was that soulmates couldn’t hear personal information about the other whilst in their dream world. perhaps to prevent early encounters or just to make the process seemingly endless; either way, akaashi was well aware.

“i didn’t think i had a soulmate,” he lets his guard down decently low, though the flutter in his heart alerts him that it’s all going to come crashing down eventually. 

“neither did i,” you admit, placing down the books wrapped in your arms onto the floor. he wants to question what you could possibly be doing, but there’s more alarming inquiries he needs answers too.

good thing you seem just as eager to figure out why today was any different. “did you do anything today that might’ve been different from your usual routine? i went to bed at eleven… which isn’t any different from any other day.”

that’s when it hit akaashi— the answer was so obvious. “we live in different time zones. that’s the only reason i can think of…”

he trailed off, having been caught in the most frustrating loop of incredulity. all this time… you were right there… so close yet so far. the only thing that had separated his years of getting to know you was a different sleep schedule. in due time, he may look back at this incident and laugh— but right now, he felt cheated out of the most basic human experience ever.

(like a story, this was only the rising action— or perhaps the exposition, because this was truly the start of something new.)

he wants to speak, to reach out and connect with you in all the ways he’s only wished to do, but your harmonious laugh distracts him from his thoughts. “i never understood why my soulmate reality was a library. i guess that’s because of you, right?”

he doesn’t understand your change in personality in the same way he can’t tell when bokuto’s in a bad mood until it’s happening right before his eyes (though others would beg to differ). he’s desperate to learn everything there was to know about you— most importantly, your name. It’s the only thing he wants to know.

instead, he settles on, “what are you doing with those books?” 

it’s obvious you weren’t expecting that question, but then again, how was akaashi supposed to ignore the books you're defiling by simply letting them scatter on the floor? 

with a shy giggle, you respond, “well… since i thought i was alone, i was going to make a huge fort with them… ya know, cause i'm not much of a reader.”

from the red tint of your cheeks to the way your head was slightly tilted to the left was surefire proof of your discombobulation. and to akaashi, it seemed to hold such a power over him that he was unable to keep check his usual deportments. screw etiquette! this wasn’t even reality! 

“i’ll help you build one,” he offers, picking up a book from the ground. he runs his thumb over the edges, smoothly out the wrinkles that had surfaced. 

your head perks up, an opulent grin painting the once grimace. “really?!”

(for a smile like yours, he’d do just about anything to safeguard it’s fluoresce.)

back in the real world, all day his thoughts are occupied with you. you exist, your real, somewhere out in the world, your waiting for him. it’s a condolement he’s not willing to gamble with. he finds himself wanting to take more naps, just for the chance to indulge in another conversation with you. of course, it meant the eye bags under his eyes had sunken into a deeper shade— not noticeable to anyone that wasn’t him, and considering the effect it had on his everyday appearance, he’s come to the conclusion that it’d be nearly impossible to visit you every day of the week. it wouldn’t stop him from trying though.

from the side of the volleyball court, kuroo nudges bokuto skeptically. “what’s with that look on akaashi’s face… it’s starting to freak me out.”

bokuto hums— in approval? in contempt? who knows, but he’s happy. “he told me he finally met his soulmate. he’s just excited!”

“ah,” kuroo clicks his tongue knowingly, “i thought he didn’t have one?”

“turns out, they just go to sleep and wake up at different times. konoha thought it was pretty funny,” bokuto relayed, a chuckle bubbling under his throat. for so long, he had witnessed akaashi’s self-doubt and insecurity, and while parts of them still existed, it seemed to be slowly resolving itself. he couldn’t be more happier for his best friend.

“well, tell him to start focusing, i want to beat you guys when you’re at your best,” kuroo smirked, narrowing his gaze onto bokuto.

“you’re so on!”

(for the rest of practice, they had to endure akaashi’s love-sick gaze. fukurōdani still won.)

a month had passed since your very first interaction together. getting to know each other was more laborious than first intended. some words remained blurred, preventing the other from learning anything that might accelerate the rate of introduction in the real world. akaashi just wanted to know your name. it’s how he came to learn that while the universe was giving, it was also relentless.

“hey! i've been waiting for you, you know! i want to show you something!” you call from under the makeshift book fort. having just arrived, he knows from this point on, he has around thirty minutes before he’s awoken for dinner. 

thirty minutes, four times a week— the only times he’s ever been able to talk to you, due to the tight schedule you both live in. it’s too little, too small, and he feels selfish for wanting more. 

crawling under the fort, he pushed himself up to the side, wanting to give you as much room as possible in the cramped spot. in your hands, you have a book— it’s thin, meant for children, pages that combine to tell a moral. when you hand it over, it takes him less than a second to deduce the story and it’s plot. not because he’s some genius who had read every book on the face of the earth but because this story was rather popular in other parts of the world.

“sleeping beauty,” he reads aloud. his fingers run over the cover, trying to mentally depict what could be so important about this story that had you desperately trying to show him.

“it’s one of my favorite stories,” you sigh, propping your elbow on top of your thigh, leaning the weight of your face on your dominant hand. “my grandma used to read it to me all the time.”

oh. oh. you’re not asking what he thinks you're asking? right?

“can you read it to me, please?”

you are asking. his heart beats against the tightness of his chest, his ribs feel a tad out of place. and he knows— soulmates or not, he was utterly and completely yours. his cheeks flame and he attempts to hide it under his shirt.

“are you blushing?” you ask, and he can practically feel the teasing grin on your lips.

“no,” he mutters. 

you shuffle from your spot and coincidentally; tower over him. your hands and legs trap his body under your presence. you’d practically be touching him if the soulmate reality allowed you too. akaashi finds that to be the greatest travesty of them all. even though it’s practically impossible, he can feel your warmth radiate around him as if you were actually there. 

“does that mean you’ll read to me?” you ask, the battering of your eyelashes ever so visible. he doesn’t understand how you came to that conclusion, but it only tells him you knew exactly how’d he’d answer before he did.

“i’ll read it to you… just don’t laugh, okay?” akaashi opened the book, flipping the white picture-pages until he had reached the first chapter. you giggle, obeying his request with much hypocritism. you moved to sit beside him, leaning just a bit aways over his shoulder to follow along.

(akaashi isn’t a prince, but he’s more than willing to be yours if you asked.)

“i’m moving… so who knows? maybe we might meet in person one of these days,” you declare. It’s been an entire year now since he’s met you and it’s safe to say he’s utterly whipped. now in his second year of high school, he thinks he’s gotten to know you well enough to the point where the only thing left to learn is your name. 

(what’s your name??)

“you’re moving? above or below the equator?” he jokes.

luckily, you laugh-- knowing that there really isn’t much you can say without your words becoming a blurred mess. “i’m still above the equator, loser. actually, if we’re going to get really specific— i’d say the northern hemisphere.”

you guys laugh at your puny attempt of a joke. really, you know it meant no difference, and the fact that you can only rely on fate to carry you through is pitying to say the least.

“i can’t wait to meet you,” akaashi declares honestly, pulling on his fingers in habit. he wants to say more, anything that remotely rhymes with i love you, but he wants to save that special moment for the day he meets you. he knows more than anything that you’re waiting for the same.

“i can’t wait either— honestly, i think my mom might be more excited than i am. i talk about you all the time, you know?” you softly lean against your book fort, your eyes as happy looking as your smile.

(yeah, it’s safe to say he can’t wait.)

akaashi and writer’s block do not coexist peacefully. 

struggling to find words to replace the repetition created on pages, desperately searching for a means of inspiration-- he’s awfully close to giving up.

with a huge essay due tomorrow and a huge game he can’t afford to lose on the same day, he stresses over the fact that he may not be able to put his one-hundred-percent effort into both. even in the middle of a library (he should note: in the real world), a place where solitude was absolute, it provided no peace of mind.

it’s only when a small child, no older than five, wobbles out of the kid’s section with a copy of sleeping beauty, that akaashi’s reminded of you. with a small smile, he calms himself down. after all, you are his greatest muse.

(you’d probably laugh in his face if he told you that.)

after moving away from your hometown, which wasn’t quite as jarring as you expected it to be, you were quick to make friends. you wouldn’t call yourself a social butterfly— but contrary to most teen dramas, new students weren’t ‘fresh meat’ ready for the picking. finding a comfortable group of people you could associate yourself with, you found that most of them were volleyball fanatics (not because they actually played the sport, but because there were a lot of cute boys on the teams around the area, or so they say). either way, going to one of the games was inevitable. like a sort of inauguration you had to go through if you truly wanted to be considered part of the group.

you wouldn’t have it any other way.

after all, akaashi plays volleyball— that much you knew. the team name couldn’t be said, but at least you knew the sport he associated himself with. although he wouldn’t admit it, he was good, his team was good; after all, they made it to nationals and that was more than enough substantial proof. and while you didn’t want to get your hopes up, you were going to watch the national matches. you wondered… could this be the day?

walking up to the main arena, there was a certain ponderosity in the air that you couldn’t describe. it was as if a crushing truth was about to fall on your shoulders, and not knowing where it was about to fall from— you felt a crawling chill.

at the same time, akaashi had just finished the first game of the nationals match, split between wanting to rest or attend to bokuto’s high spirits. he’s attempting to walk into the main arena to watch the karasuno vs inarizaki match, but with his team basically surrounding him in their own attempts to make their way through— he deems the effort fruitless. 

just as he approaches the door, so do you.

but you're too busy keeping up with your friends.

and he’s too busy trying to squeeze past a ranting bokuto.

your hands graze each other’s, and simultaneously, you both receive a shock that runs down the basis of your spines. something prompted him to search for the cause of the odd feeling, and in that moment, he finds you. your back is faced towards him, your hair made no difference in the immediate recognition process-- but he’s sure that he’s met you before. he just knows it. the answer is on the tip of his tongue, a fraction of a second away from being revealed. 

he watches as your friends wait up for you, before your social circle turns around the corner and disappears from his sight (he gets hit with a strong sense of nostalgia from that). his heart stings, for reasons he can’t quite place. he’s never been too good at distinguishing his feelings anyways. bokuto is ushering him towards the stadium seating area, and the answer once on akaashi’s mind had dissipated into the air.

once he turns the corner, the moment is forgotten.

it’s only when he falls asleep later that night, not having dreamed of you, that it dawns on him.

akaashi keiji thinks the world is cruel.

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[sithisreadingcorner]

Hi Sithi💗

I wanted to ask for some advice from the cards (and you, to be honest) about someone I am currently seeing right now. Intuitively I’m unsure of how I feel about him but so far he has revealed to me a lot of good qualities about him, yet for some reason I feel hesitant on initiating something with him. I am unsure of whether or not he has good intentions or if I’m even interested in him. He’s been so kind and generous, compliments me, and has treated me right (so far.) However, I’m still unfortunately not over BA but I know that that situation does not have any opportunities anytime soon or if any at all. I just want some advice on how to move forward with this new person and if it even is a good idea. Maybe any revealing insight about anything that I should know, at this point.

I’m in no rush to have this answered, so please take your time/come to this whenever you feel ready to do so!

His initials are BS. Mine are KD, but Kas is completely fine! (Haha)

My date of birth: 08/07/2000 (I’m 21)

Welcome back Kas 💗 What I would advise, as a person, is that no matter what you do, be honest about your feelings with BS. If you feel unsure whether you are ready for a relationship yet, they should know. I know that the BA stuff is very recent and if I were in this situation, I would take a little more time for myself before doing anything, but I understand that everyone is a bit different, so idk.

ace of coins. eight of wands the star. eight of swords

The ace of coins in a love reading comes up often to indicate a new relationship in the very recent past or future. So this is kinda funny to me, as if the cards just said "Yep. He's there. That's the guy." But I think what the real information value is here, is what the cards are NOT saying. You kinda describe BS as if you were already suspecting him of committing nefarious plots against you. But if he has any ill intentions, the cards wouldn't know. Most likely he's just... a guy. You know? Just a person, like you and me. Is he going to hurt your feelings? Mmmmaybe? Don't we all sometimes hurt the people we love?

I think that this relationship has some potential to work out, but you will have to change one thing for that to come, and this is a little bit of a complicated concept, but I'll try my best to explain.

The eight of wands is both your encouragement and warning at the same time, and seems rather stern too. It's almost as if you were too stagnant and yet too quick at the same time. "DO make moves, but DON'T make them too rashly," is the message. You almost seem to float around like a tumbleweed looking for its next place to root. If you are not dealing with your insecurities, and instead want your partner to ease them or reassure them for you, that is like putting your roots on unstable ground. Not only will you be disappointed and heartbroken, but the very foundation of your whole personhood will be shaken every time you break up with someone. Of course you are devastated! So start questioning yourself... where am I putting this foundation in the first place? What are the things that give me self worth? It's not in the right place, at the moment. And I want you to understand very clearly that this is not about how little or how much time you wait, but it is something that you wilfully have to go out of your way to change, and put the effort into.

It's not your fault, but you are the only one who can deal with it. Not even the most magnificent heavenly level 20 soulmate twin flame can deal with it for you. If you don't, this will kinda just keep happening, you know? 😕

You got the Star, which is a wonderful omen for people who are looking to heal from a past relationship, but it came up as an advice card, so i clarified it with the eight of swords. You feel helpless and trapped. Honestly, I'm saying this for a fact, I can almost feel it. And hey, if your new guy is giving you bad vibes, DON'T go into anything with him! But what I think is the thing that you are trapped in is your feelings with BA. "Why can't I move on from this?" you ask. And, I don't know, I mean it always takes a little time but if the cards are true, there IS an answer to this question and it seems very obvious. Cause you put your self worth in BA and he vanished. I want to stress that the Star is an overwhelmingly positive card for you - it means that you will heal. But you have to stop picking on the scab first.

I hope that this will help, Kas. 💗 Take your time to recover, and treat yourself kindly in the meantime!

tip

[jossambird]

Okay so basically last January I had a dream that my teacher was my soulmate and it escalated dramatically from there. I spent valentine's alone, no one got me a present other than my parents, I cried because I made gifts for my best friends and no one thought to get me anything. So I bought a stuffed animal and pretended it was my teacher and this is the strongest bond I've ever had with a stuffed animal. His name is Angus and he's a teal bear. Anyway. I think I'm in love with my teacher. This sucks and I cry about it sometimes. He's the first person I've liked since a really rough situation that lead to a really dark depression that he pretty much pulled me out of. He's so amazing and I feel like we have a special connection. It's not like a gross sexual or even romantic one. He just feels like a friend and it's more than I could ask for. I email him regularly but he really sucks at answering emails but I still love him. He's such a dork and so funny. Like I was telling him about cookies I made and how one of them was the coolest and he said "Is he the coolest cause the rest of them just got out of the oven" hshshshsb oh my god I just love him so much. I want him to rail me but also love me. Like hurt me but make me feel safe. He's not hot either he's cute and adorable and oh my god I love him. I think I'm in love and I'm terrified.

Anon, honestly, it's a complicated situation you have here but Ill try to do my best to help you, and offer a bit of help!

I think it's understandable that your feelings developed into this, if you were going through a hard time and your mind got stuck on one of the few people that seemed to appreciate you and acted kind towards you.

Especially when it's someone you looked up to, and someone that was in a sort of caretaker position, and someone you could talk to!

The mind is a very weird place, and emotions are a very weird thing and sometimes, they don't always make sense, and its a part of being human!

In my opinion, (and this is not to offend you or judge you in any way, or to assume you cannot make judgements on your own), your mind simply took something that was already there, this attachment you had to a person you looked up to, that you felt was someone who might be able to protect you from the feelings and things you're going through, and turned it into something else to cope.

For example, it is a common thing for people in the LGBT and ASPEC community to mistake friendly feelings and attachment for something else entirely.

An ace friend of mine often thought throughout the years that they were feeling sexual attraction, when it was something else entirely, because they assumed that's what it had to be.

Now, in your case, I think your attachment to this person was something you cherished and something that was special for you, and therefore your brain took the route of making them into a person you're emotionally and sexually attracted to.

I know it might sound harsh to hear what are for you real feelings and connection, and this is NOT to invalidate them, but to make you step away and look at the situation objectively. I don't know you, and I don't know the entire situation or what you're going through, so I can only speak for what you yourself have told me and my own knowledge of the human psyche.

Now, Anon, I know reading this could be extremely hard for you, and that you might feel like you want to simply reject all of it because your brain immediately switched to defense mode to protect something that is dear to you, and something that you got attached to, that helps you cope. I would recommend taking some time for you, to seek out a professional like a Psychologist, who is someone that won't judge you and will help you make sense of the whole thing.

As for your teacher, many things could happen. If he found out, and felt uncomfortable, he might be someone that would have to quit his job if he wanted to distance himself, as I'm not sure if he would bring it up with the school.

I hope you don't hate me for this response Anon!

I hope things go well for you, and that you arrive at a happier place in your life, and I'll be here for you the whole way!

Now, I promise, no judgement will ever come from me, ever, and I hope you know what, albeit my psychological answer. I truly only want whats best for you, and to possibly help you.

My inbox is always open, as is my Anons, and Ill never turn you away!

[nymphiou]

[Name] Abysiram (Or nicknamed Aby, Abys', Iram', Isiyra, the Lazy One, the Dreamlike and Negative Reaper, the Skeleton with the cloak and the tentacles, the Illusionist, the Dishonest Eater, the Stalker, the One who has the pleasure of feeling people suffer for food, and etc.).

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[Corruption] His name is Myst, given and named by Reaper when he manifested himself.

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[Age] ? (Unknown)

[Date of birth] December 19.

[Height] 1m77 / 5'7" (?)

[Parents] Reaper and Nightmare

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[Family and others]

- Living in the Afterdeath mansion, Abysiram is quite close to his dad, Reaper. In addition to a father and son relationship, they spend a lot of time together chatting and having fun together with their family to take care of them. This is important to them.

- For Abysiram, Geno and Killer are both seen as mothers. He cherishes them as much as he can, sometimes pleasing them with gifts and sweet attentions. Geno sometimes thinks there are innuendoes in all of this, but like Killer, he accepts all the same with pleasure and a little smile, both cherishing their stepson.

- Nightmare, his second father but the one who gave birth to him. He doesn't spend most of his time in the castle but meets him almost every night in the Dream World (including Dream and members of their family as well), sometimes talking together when their roles and things to do don't need to be, or have already been done on different nights.

- Abysiram cherishes his family, on both sides. Whether at Reaper's or Nightmare's, he is aloof and unattentive, but is actually quite the opposite, watching over them, watching them all quite a bit.

- Myst and Abysiram get along well together, often confiding in each other.

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[His types of magic]

- Skeletal (Ability to appear bones, Gaster Blasters but also blue magic, as well as access to teleportation, levitation and everything related to it).

- Dreamlike (Based on accessing the Dreamlike dimension and providing dreams.)

- Sentimental (Based on feeling the emotions and feelings of others are close to him or not).

- Mortuary (Access to a mow that can take souls to the dead, but also to a mortuary aura).

- Black Magic (Ability to create incantations of entities or demons, perform rituals, manipulation, etc..anything related to, all using his powers and negativity).

=====

[Characteristics]

Abysiram is aloof, a little cold too, but is nonetheless an endearing person, even if he doesn't mean to be. Very observant, even...totally stalker about everything that happens around him, he tends to learn things, to keep them to himself, in order to bring them out one day, if need or necessity. Besides, this makes him very methodical in his speech, making sure to express the good things and what we want to hear, without however keeping the same opinions or views, always going in favor of the other for his personal satisfaction. He is also rather calm at heart, making a connection with his laziness in doing things.

When Abysiram gets angry, which is quite rare at first but only common when it affects his family, he becomes...quite frightening. You have to walk away at times like that when even innocent people can be targeted. But it's double or nothing, it's not without consequences on himself.

He's quite banal and simplistic, but unique, to tell you the truth.

=====

[Physical appearance]

Face : Skeleton with white bones, except for its arms and hands (only the index, ring and little finger, however!) as well as its legs and feet, which are ebony in colour, it has two black marks under its sockets that look like appendages. His pupils are deep blue. His smile tends to be more mocking than serious or otherwise, except when he smiles sincerely.

Attire : Abysiram is wearing a dark sweatshirt and leather jeans, quite tight on his bones although he is comfortable in them. He wears boots the same color as his clothes. He's not the type to wear colorful things, appreciating basic dark colors as well as a single color to have, in different shades or contrasts, bright or ever darker.

Also, he wears a cape that was given to him by his family on one of his birthdays. Since then, he has never left it.

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[Phobias]

- Astraphobia (Fear of thunder)

- Spectrophobia (Fear of mirrors (or reflections) )

- Angrophobia (Fear of getting angry)

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[Scent] Black cherry, gingerbread, dust...

=====

[Random informations]

- Abysiram was born out of a kind of relationship between Nightmare and Reaper that lasted two weeks, at least. It had been a secret relationship with no feelings (only comfort in a need for forgetting on the part of the Corrupted and his acceptance of feelings etc.), Reaper having already as soulmate Geno. This had stopped all of a sudden, without any real consequences at the beginning (except for him later on). Nightmare ended up being with Killer after thinking a lot about it and finally accepting her feelings that had seemed more than weird at first.

- As a child, Abysiram was a book fanatic. But he only read books related to life, death, legends, but also demons and magic. This was and will be a great passion for him, being able to read them for hours and hours.

- Before Abysiram learned of his corruption inside him, it was thanks to a mirror that he was able to see Myst for the first time. But because the mirror looked less frightening and dark and empty, Abysiram, as a child, was so frightened that he cried out in tears. This had been repeated a few times, frightening him more than anything else, until he learned what it was and then calmed down. But every time he looked in the mirror, he saw Myst and the way he looked...so much so that he was afraid of it and developed a form of Spectrophobia, so much so that he hated it. Seeing himself in a reflection didn't appeal to him in a basic way. So he's keeping away from it now.

- In order to nourish Myst as he should, Abysiram, having the faculty of Reaper just like one of his fathers, therefore goes off to mow down souls at the end of their lives, who most often find themselves hung up on someone or several loved ones who are moping in this loss. Very quickly, this had been a promising thing for him to do, as long as it pleased Myst to be fed like this, enjoying it quite a bit.

- He loves crows.

- Another passion had surfaced during his adolescence: cooking. He learned with Horror at the castle and Geno at the mansion, preparing food with them each time.

- Although Abysiram gets along well with his parents, he has an even more endearing relationship with Error. They can be described as very good friends, talking about the Multivers in their spare time.

- When he gets angry, Abysiram pays for his actions. Indeed, getting angry frightens him extremely, as long as he seems bad and absent from himself in such moments. He's totally afraid of it, as long as he doesn't like it. This is also why getting him angry is quite complicated.

- In spite of being very serious on his part, he is still a great mocker of everything and nothing, especially towards his family.

- He calls Myst "The Ugly" or "The Terrible", because of his dripping and...scary look sometimes when he wants to. The person concerned laughs at it before returning the compliment, each time.

- Abysiram holds a sickle. Compared to his father and many others, his "scythe" is bluish-bladed, because of its magic, but has a short handle. There is also a hanging cloth that is actually the end of his cloak that he has torn.

=====

ooF-

That's all ! :3

(I'll also do Demys' OC card when I'm motivated lol)

In any case, I hope you like Abysiram..bcauz of that rareship. It's a little special. XD

[dontyouhearmehowling]

oh my god. Ok so I just scrolled through your blog and my heart hurts because there is so much love and just so much stuff I can relate too and I just ahhh damnnn it I cant even but like can I please have the story of your relationship with this girl your with? please? i'm a hopeless romantic I feel too much I love so hard my own love life is complicated but i know the kind of love you talk about thats exactly how i love the love of my life too so yours is a story I need to hear

ok so. it all started on April 31st, 2018. i reblogged one of those ask games and she sent me an emoji that said “i’m too scared to talk to you but i think you’re great” and i was like do it!!! and she did!!!! she texted me after i had already gone to sleep tho, so i only answered the next day. but then we talked all day. and the next. and the next. and we never ran out of things to talk about and even only knowing her for a few days i already felt comfortable enough with her to talk about anything?? it was wild. since day 1 we’ve had this connection that i’ve never had with anyone else and its my favorite thing in the world. after like a week we already had a bunch of inside jokes, something that i’d never had before, and i was already crushing on her. ok so we became very close friends like immediately, and i mostly ignored my crush on her bc i thought she didn’t like me back and usually i’d get meaningless crushes on everyone at first before i met her. but then this other girl and i started flirting and i realized i didnt like her bc i liked c too much, so i broke things off and kinda went like “oh shit this is real” and decided that i’d just stay friends with c until i eventually couldnt take it anymore and had to tell her abt my feelings bc thats how i am. anyways ok cool meanwhile i made her watch the good place on rabb.it with me which will be relevant later.

ok so fast forward to may 21st or something around that time. its time to sleep bc i have school the next day so we say goodnight, but then i guess she says something or reblogs something and i get sad bc i realize she doesnt like me back. so i make some hashtag sad posts abt yearning and then i realize i told her i was going to sleep and i didnt want her to think i didnt want to talk to her so i text her again and say like “ok i was going to go to sleep but then i got sad abt my crush” and SHE GOES “you have a crush????????” and im there like. what in the hell bc not only did i not try to hide it At All, i constantly posted about it and had an entire tag about her and i thought it was pretty obvious. so anyways i go “yes?? i thoought you knew that?? im literally always posting about it??” and she asks me to talk abt the crush and who it is. i say “just stalk the tag if u want, im going to sleep” then shes like “nO WAIT WHO IS IT” and im like. blatantly ignoring that and my heart is already beating out of my chest but she Really wants to know and then at one point i say “please dont make me answer that” so shE SAYS “you’re making me think that its me” and i say “i dont know what you want me to say” and SHE GOES “I WANT YOU TO SAY THAT ITS ME BC I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU” so i just. die. right then and there. also yknow we talk about it and its like after 1 am and im just happier than i’ve ever been. ok so 2 days later she asks me out Officially and its great and shes the cutest gf ever and she made me feel more wanted than i’d ever felt in my entire life. then 6 days later she sends me a big big big text on tumblr and long story short (bc it was kinda personal), she would be deleting her all social media for the summer.

so she was gone. and we had only dated for a week at this point, but we’d known each other for 2 months, and i already loved her. i already knew she was the love of my life. i didnt even try to move on, i’d tell people i didnt wanna move on cuz i knew i was meant to love her. i had another blog like this that i used to talk about how much i loved and missed her (so like. exactly like this). i literally reasoned with myself that like. that happened because before i met her i was in a really bad place after a terrible relationship and i was almost giving up on finding someone who actually made me feel loved bc i thought it would never happened, so i was like “ok so i was in a really bad place, so the universe brought my soulmate a little early just for a while so that i would know i had to hold on, and when its actually time for us to be together, it will bring us to each other once again” like i actually told myself that, in those words. and yknow what? i wasnt even wrong. on july 15th she texted me from an empty tumblr with her old url and at first i literally couldnt believe it but we talked for hours and hours and i asked her what happened bc i thought she was disconnecting for the summer and she said “i was. i am. i just couldnt not talk to you anymore” and she said that she thought about me every single day, and i told her i missed her and she said she didnt text sooner bc she thought i’d be angry at her and ofc i wouldnt, i could never be angry at her and besides, she was just taking care of herself and i said i dont think i could be anything less than head over heels for for, and she said she felt the same way, but wasnt ready to be more than friends yet. but that had always been more than enough for me. just having her in my life would always be more than enough for me. so we stayed friends.

then, on august 9th i got this ask.

and she saw it after i said i was gonna go to bed (bc again, i had school the next day) and she texted me a whole thing about how that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said about her and that i should be asleep but she had to get it out of her chest and that her anxiety made it hard for her to show how much i meant to her so she was sorry if i didnt know and this would probably make no sense but she was tired of keeping it to herself bc shes the luckiest person alive for having met me and that it was gonna be so hard because shes so difficult (shes not) and her anxiety is difficult but that she literally spent every night thinking about me and of buying plane tickets to come see me so that she could be with me. then she was like “im sorry if this is uncomfortable to you and you can just ignore it but i think im in love with you and this is over text and not romantic at all (it was the most romantic night of my life) but you’re asleep (i wasnt) and we arent together but i want to be one day” and until this i was Trying to fall asleep and then i checked my phone that kept RINGING and died a thousand times over and started to answer and she sent other texts saying “i’ve never felt this way about anyone before i’m so in love with you its fucking ridiculous and this is gonna be so complicated but fuck i want this so bad / i’m sorry it took me so long / would you move to new york with me?” and i was This Close to literally fucking exploding like. how the hell was this happening how was it not a DREAM. so we talked and i obviously said i loved her too and eventually she asked me out and thats still probably the best night of my life. other highlights: “i’ve loved you way before august 9th so jot that down” and “off topic but i love you / you’re honestly my other half” and, after i said “you cant make me laugh its 2am”, she answered “i’m going to make you laugh for the rest of your life so help me god” and thats my favorite thing anyone has ever said to me probably and so far she’s kept her word.

anyways we got back together and then she told me that she never even told her friends she broke up with me??? bc that way she could keep pretending we were still together???? literally like sjdksndk imagine being this loved. i dont have to. anyways she wrote poems abt me sometimes and her christmas gift for me was gonna be a book with all her poems and she called it “what we owe to each other” because of the good place (remember how i said it’d be relevant later? its later) bc like she said that when we were watching tgp together on rabb.it thats when she realized that she Really Truly liked me like For Real. and the inscription on the book was going to be “to the girl i love / and what i owe her” and. yall. i cry. anyways one of the poems had a huge impact on us. heres the story:

and she got them but we broke up before she got to mail them to me. what happened was she had some mental health problems and she said she couldnt give me what i needed at the time but knew i’d still give her my all bc thats just how i am and she thought it wouldnt be fair so she broke things off to work on her mental health. she said she would need some time before we could be friends. the last thing we said was that we loved each other. this was in like november 2018, and we didnt talk for months. i actually tried to move on this time after a while, but it didnt take. and then i gave up for good. havent tried since. but anyways, then, on march 11th, 2019, i had my first day of college back in my home country, and we have this “pranks”/games that seniors get to do to the freshmen, and one of them required eggs, and they asked us to paint them, so i panted mine as iron man bc it was easy, but c LOVES iron man. like. LOVES. like in a Whole New Level of loving. once when we were dating she said she loved me more than tony stark and i was like. shook. like she tattooed “T.S” on her ankle after him. u get the point. she loves him very much, its adorable and endearing and i love it. anyways. so i sent her a picture of it saying like “you dont have to answer this but i made this for my university and i thought you would like it” and she answered and IMMEDIATELY something clicked and we talked and talked and talked and it was never weird or awkward or uncomfortable. it never is with her. its incredible, i cant explain it. i Know shes my soulmate like thats the ONLY possible explanation for this kind of connection. its unreal. anyways. we became friends again! all was well.

then one beautiful night she drunk texts me sndjkajs she sends me so many texts and says it sucks that we live so far away and that she saw my posts (in this particular case, one that said something about like. when she talked about love now, was it about someone else?) and she said that it wasnt. and then she went to sleep and i only saw the texts when i woke up and i was DYING bc we had a 4 hour difference and it’d take a while for her to wake up. when she did, we talked and she said she wasnt over me and was scared she might never be, and even though we were still gonna stay friends, it was nice to know that she still loved me. ok so fast forward a bit more and i was starting to wonder if she’d moved on again, when she finds out her best friend had a crush on her, and that conversation ends up with her saying “it was 100% platonic for me / sorry if thats weird i just wanted you to know that” and it was NOT weird it was GREAT NEWS bc i was Hella jealous of her best friend and at first i wondered if they were dating and anyways the fact that she wanted me to know that was a pretty good hint that she still had feelings for me. ngl im still somewhat jealous of h (c’s best friend), but thats just bc im an insecure lil bitch and also bc they get to go out and do stuff together that i cant do with c bc of the distance, yknow? but anyways. then she went on a graduation trip in mid to the end of june and she bought me a magnet. just. out of nowhere. i cannot stress enough how Incredibly unexpected this was. so much so that i actually convinced myself that it meant she was over me????? literally. what the fuck. anyways we named him together and coincidentally (or bc of soulmate powers. who knows) we both had the same favorite names. i still love that.

okay so then we go to july 29th, 2019. first of all theres one of my favorite interactions Ever which was like after i was venting about something and i was thanking her and i said “you’re always here for me” to which she answered “nowhere else i’d rather be” and i still think thats peak romance and i will take no criticism on this. anyways so then she sent me a poem that she wrote based on a song i’d sent her (the song i called “heaven is a place” and its the BIGGEST mood for being in love and i sent it to her bc it was how i felt about her so her writing a poem about it?? literally the best thing ever. love it) anyways it was a beautiful poem and i cried and got very emotional and kinda went too far in my compliments (aka being very obvious about my romantic feelings) and then i was like oh no sorry if i made u uncomfortable and she was like. “you have NEVER. EVER EVER EVER EVER made me uncomfortable” “you’re the only person on planet earth i am comfortably myself around” and “there’s nothing you could ever say that i wouldn’t wanna hear” and anyways it was just very good and romantic conversation even tho we were just cough cough platonic hashtag gal pals hashtag no homo ✌️ and then she was like ok wait. i need to talk to u abt something. and in short she said she was waiting for us and i was like well what are you waiting for exactly? and she was like idk?? for us to accidentally bump into each other in new york in a few years?? WHICH WAS LITERALLY WHAT I’D DAYDREAM ABOUT BACK IN JUNE 2018 BEFORE SHE CAME BACK OKAY so anyways we had a Great conversation and said i love you about a thousand times each and she decided she was gonna buy tickets to come see me. and then she dID like TWO DAYS LATER. lichrally. queen of impulsivity but in the best way possible.

—————

ok quick edit here cuz i forgot to say that when i found out she was coming i asked for my mom’s help to make a necklace pendant for her from scratch. my mom works with prosthetics so she has the material to make jewelry and back when c and i were dating in 2018 i had made this lil design for a necklace that had the moon and the ocean (bc duh) and i was gonna give it to her for valentines day in 2019 but we broke up before that so i didnt get the chance, but when i found out i was meeting her i knew i had to. so i made the necklace in wax, like this:

and my mom took it to her work and heated it up to melt it and keep the shape of it to fill with silver, and this was the result:

i gave it to her when she got here and she wore it while she was here and it made me so happy. ok edit over

—————

ok so we kept being like couple-y but not officially in a relationship bc we didnt want to make her anxiety worse. also at one point she was like “so about the ‘i love you more than the moon/ocean’ thing, since we BOTH love BOTH of the moon AND the ocean, i think its only Fair if we update our love declarations to ‘i love you more than the mocean’ bc its mix of both but thats not a word, buT its pronounced exactly like ‘motion’. therefore we should both start saying ‘i love you more than the motion’”. so now we have both the wonderful, romantic, original version, and the NOT ROMANTIC AT ALL DO U HEAR ME C??? version :) and after this day she always started with the WORST!!!!!! version, and i always started with the Only Valid Version, but we’d still answer each other’s ofc because. well. thats love i gues?? it sorta goes like this though: her: i love you more than the motion / me: i hate u / me: i literally hate u so much / me: i Also love you more than the motion

but anyways she was coming to visit me but the plane ticket wasnt for my home country it was for where i was going to university at (a new university, i was starting over) and when i first got here on this campus, i didnt have a working phone number for this country, and i wouldnt be able to access the wifi for 3 days, so i had no way of talking to her. it was TERRIBLE and i missed her more than anything in my LIFE but when i got wifi (after CRYING to the people here bc theyre the most unorganized uni ever and i was already very overwhelmed and stressed) i immediately called her and she’d sent me over 100 text messages dkfjssjks it was amazing, there were two (2) videos of her singing (which is like. objectively the best thing in the world, and the song was rlly romantic and i love it sm when she showed it to me for the first time she said it made her think abt me), a poem, AND a HUGE text with “i love you” written like. a THOUSAND TIMES. seriously i have a gif of it opening and scrolling bc it was so long that the text wouldnt show up directly on the chat screen and u have to click on it to see the rest. i’d never felt more loved in my entire life by anyone ever. anyways so then it came the day for her to get here and i had to wake up at 5 am to go get her at the airport and the uber was like $40 but who CARES it was the best day of my LIFE and i got there 20 minutes earlier bUT GUESS WHAT SO DID SHE (hashtag just soulmate things) then we facetimed the entire time while she was walking through the airport and getting her luggage and then she hung up to walk to the door where i was and we hugged for like 5 minutes and we were totally in people’s way and also almost fell but it was the best thing in the world and i never should’ve let her go. but, we had to go home, so i did. and we spent 4 days together and im not gonna go into details bc this is already too long but u can always send me another ask about her visit if ur not a coward. also i bought her a hoodie from my uni and whenever she wears it i just. die. in short, those days were the happiest i’ve ever been. this campus res had never felt like home before that friday and it hasnt again since that monday, but i swear to god, during those 4 days, this was the only place i could possibly belong.

anyways then she left and i cried for the entire uber ride home and then i cried all day. lmao. also when she was here she gave me the poetry book, the magnet, and the bracelet. still wear the bracelet every single day and i love it more than anything. but then personal stuff happened and we kinda stopped being couple-y again and we’re just friends now but before new years i asked her if she still loved me and she said yes and she said she’d tell me if it changed so ✌️✌️ im assuming it hasnt. even tho my brain is a bitch and everyday its like. today. today is the day. this is when its gonna happen. buT yknow we’ve spent months before without even talking to each other and we got through that still in love, so i mostly ignore it. and tbh i know that actually like, even if we grow apart now (god forbid, but still) we’ll find our way back to each other eventually. like, i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again: nothing, not even the universe itself, can convince me that shes not my soulmate. and even if it turns out i’m not hers, loving her is still the greatest honor i can think of.

another edit: also i started drawing recently and the first person i’ve ever finished drawing was her and also (surprise surprise @c since you’re already seeing all my feelings anyway) bc of my second drawing i almost missed the deadline for one of my midterms (which was a take-home test) bc instead of writing it i spent the entire day before the deadline finishing the drawing which was a secret valentines day gift (secret as in she didnt know it was supposed to be a gift, she thought it was just a drawing inspired by a quote that she loves) and i finished at 2 am but shes 3 hours behind so for her it was still 11 pm which MEANS it was still valentines day so it still counts, i win, lesbian rights!

[ombreblossom]

How do you feel about Time Travel and Soul Mates, for tropes? (I feel like these are two that people tend to either love or hate, so I’m curious about your opinion.)

You and I have been talking about this already, but I'm gonna summarize my thoughts here for anyone else who might be interested.

Thrown under a cut because I have a lot of thoughts haha.

(Fuck, I just remembered that ‘under a cut’ is LJ parlance ahhh. I’m old lmao)

☆ Soulmates

Full disclaimer: I’m probably some flavor of arospec. Grayaro is what I’m running with for the moment.

I’m not a big fan of soulmates narratives most of the time. The ones that are straight up about having a single (romantic) soulmate that is determined for you by an unseen force/fate squick me most of the time.

On a very, very personal level, I have a complicated relationship with romance, and the thought that there might only be one single person out there that has the ability to love me unconditionally (and that someone is already determined for me) is a bit. Disconcerting.

(I used to love them, soulmates narratives. I’m someone who really yearns for a romantic or romantic-adjacent relationship, and there is a kind of appeal in the idea that there IS, in fact, someone out there that the universe has deigned to pair me with. It felt like there was something invested in seeing me happy and supported. And I found comfort in those ideas for a long time. Soulmates only started squicking me maybe within the past 5 or so years.)

More generally, these kinds of soulmate narratives inadvertently discount the value of relationships that happen by chance or in unique circumstances (and also do that amatonormative thing of valuing romantic relationships above all others). (And by chance, I mean relationships that spring out of chance encounters, not relationships that manage to work with no input from any of the parties involved.) Not to mention that having a soulmate takes all agency out of a relationship and discounts the work that people need to put into relationships for them to actually work. It cheapens everything, I feel like.

That said, I can like some soulmates narratives that deconstruct the trope a bit. Soulmate narratives that allow for multiple soulmates or soulmates based on other kinds of attraction (e.g. platonic soulmates). I can also like soulmate narratives that get deconstructed in the way that the author commits to the concept fully and expands their world building to answer the question: “What would the world really be like if the universe already had a single person in mind for us to fall in love with and how would that change society?”

☆ Time Travel

Thinking about time travel as purely a literary trope rather than a thought experiment or a physics quandary, I’m actually not that fond of it because of how overdone it is and how the execution of time travel narratives often (at least in fanfiction) doesn’t leave much room for delving into the nitty gritty of what would change in the future if someone modified a single thing in the past. I know I’m at risk of sounding pretentious here, but like of the time travel fics I’ve been reading recently, a lot of them are more fix-its of canon than time travel fics. Which is to say, the time travel is a means to fix the end of TMA rather than a genuine exploration of how time travel might work in the TMA universe. Which is absolutely fine and good - just not my cup of tea sometimes.

That said, if the time travel fic does good character work, I’m ready to forgive basically everything else - or if there’s something else interesting going on that’s ancillary to the time traveling. As an example, I really, really like bubonickitten’s fic where there’s a will, we make a way, which is (I think) explicitly a fix-it fic, but the whole mechanic of Jon, the Archive, only being able to speak in statements for much of the fic and the excellent character analysis and character work done is so interesting to me that the fic is one of my favorites in the entire fandom. (That said, bubonickitten’s fic also diverges from canon a good amount but only starting in season 4, which is another reason I like it.)

TL;DR is that I can like time travel stuff if the mechanics or implications are interesting for the setting or if it sets the stage for engaging character development.

[loneliestmuffin]

It's okay!

The Mukuro and Kyoya relationship is gonna be so confusing, because they will actually become friends eventually! But first it'll be awkward and uncomfortable for them both lmao because they are both jerks. Kyoya also has a brotherly bond to Tetsuya and he could also befriend Dino, we'll see.

That's oki! In the end, Kyoya will probably just stay single if I'm being honest. He either befriends people eventually or things just fall apart. Cause I can't imagine Kyoya ever having or wanting a soulmate. That would just tie him down, right?

I don't think the others are polyamorous and Kyoya keeps his crushes private until the feelings fade or something else happens. He's an indecisive jerk 😑

I will turn Kyoya into a pathetic wet lump and make him whimper in painnnn >:3/hj

Seigi and Kyoya aren't friends but they are most definitely friendly with each other! I think they just don't want to put a label on their relationship yet. They haven't told me anyways :/

More stuff about Seigi! He has so many people that live him and he has a sky flame, but Seigi refuses to take any elements. He thinks that's disrespectful because he isn't courting anyone to be his element

Seigi has this weird hang up about harmony and bonds because he feels its like marriage and he doesn't want to marry anyone but Kyoya. And Kyoya doesn't want to get married period. so Seigi will probably be a solo sky for a long time.

Seigi actually is a very destructive person, even in his art. When he isn't satisfied with a piece of art, he often just rips it apart and starts anew with what's left over. There is an au in which the warehouse blows up and Seigi is only very slightly upset about losing this massive spray painted piece of art. And he's only upset cause he finished ut just recently. So I guess Seigi's art philosophy is that 'Nothing is permanent.'

Ryohei and Seigi aren't friends yet but they might be someday, because they both have the habit of keeping an eye on Kyoya, just in case Kyoya decides to disappear on them. So I guess Ryohei and Seigi are friendly acquaintances right now?

Did I ever mention Seigi's role in the stories? He's responsible for Kyiya exposition! Because actually Seigi sometimes stalks Kyoya for fun. He can never keep up with him, but Seigi knows a lot more than he let's on. And he would sell that kind of information for some good money too I think.

So I guess Seigi and Kyoya are only loyal to each other for as long as they want to? It's all kinds of weirdness in the future arc, especially since TYL!Seigi has a grudge of TYL!Kyoya, but he quite like Teen!Kyoya? It's complicated.

I think that's the best way to describe Seigi and also this version of Kyoya.

It's complicated.

People have liked the post I made about wanting to talk about my original Katekyou Hitman Reborn characters. And off of that post I've introduced you all to Kusakabe Sora, my oc thag is Hibari Kyoya's adoptive father!

However!!! There are more! I wonder which I should introduce next? Cause right now, this guy I named Chiba Seigi is on my mind very noisily. So I guess him?

Seigi has grown to be such a big character. He's also mixed between Japanese and Hispanic, because that very much fits how he ended up pictured in my mind's eye. He has tan skin, shoulder length, dark hair and dark eyes with unfairly pretty lashes. (TYL, he has a moustache and some facial scruff)

I wouldn't call him Hibari's love interest, but those two 100% fool around. Like. To the point that, in the future arc, TYL!Seigi was one of the few people that actually helped teenage Kyoya adjust to everything that was happening. [For the future arc from Kyoya's perspective, I do actually have a whole fanfic cooking in my brain]

Seigi is also an active sky! But like. His sky is pathetically weak, because he's a civilain level delinquent. Which is why, while he pines endlessly and makes heart eyes at Kyoya constantly, he can never truly hold Hibari's cloud in his sky. He would very simply be smushed :( Doesn't keep him from courting Kyoya oh so sweetly every chance he gets. He's actually a bit obsessive in that way.

However! Seigi is a masochistic thrill chaser first and foremost when it comes to Hibari Kyoya. They constantly butt heads around Namimori because Seigi has unlocked the creative passion of spray painting and light vandalism and Kyoya does not appreciate that.

They often chase each other around town, or play mind games with each other very subtly. And yes, it's a healthy rivalry. After the graffiti is scrubbed off of the walls and the smashed windows are replaced, Kyoya is not opposed to going out for a drink with Seigi. Cause Seigi is just very pleasant company.

In general, Seigi is just a really creative guy. He's an art student by day and a dj/musician by night. Kyoya sometimes hangs out at the club Seigi plays music at. That club has a whole gimmick that will be important in my Igniting Embers Series someday if I ever get around to it.

I could ramble about him for hours. Does anyone wanna know more?

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Alex was arguing with Armageddon about me being alone and in danger. So he was all,rammed and determined to get me by the end of the week if nothing stood in his way.

So he didn't.

I felt so bad and kinda guilty and really glad/excited he got hurt... Like... Idk. I was all "im just gonna pay attention to you while you heal" that's how I self explained my happiness at his misfortune.

Not realizing he was hurt because he loves me with determination and stubborness against Armageddon's Government. Like me. He was like me being exiled at age 19 of my very first life. That's why I was happy and excited.

This morning Steven Torrence asked Alex Laughlin what he felt about giving away Saint Luches.

So he used an alternative answer to what he wanted to say. He said the truth but not the simple truth

So ill write it for him because the reason is because he didn't know how to explain the simple truth and it would be complicated to only say half.

So he just said "it was fine and makes life simpler" which is true.

But he feels "I'd love to keep Saint Luches forever and to become hermaphrodite and fuck him forever along with everyone else, but Sabrina and i discussed it often and at length in the summer of 1999 when she lived in Okmulgee. So we half heartedly decided to go with the original intention of Armageddon and we asked them what it was and they said exactly as we knew and so we thought then it was best So we asked Armageddon's opinion which gave us all our options then said they would also prefer it was the original intention of them as it would help them to prepare for Armageddon's change and discovery. So now in 2020 after 21 years of all work and waiting we've done i would love spending time with Saint Luches in a bed but it's better to have him go to a New home and life wife before we had him as a husband again. Its emotionally safer and I'm thrilled to death for him to begin his new life so soon and to be happy again and have part of his mystery solved. I love him more than life itself sometimes so I'm extremely pleased he's well on his way to not being lonely with someone hes compatible with. I know from experience having that one person you know you're supposed to be with for life makes all the difference in the world in the terms of happiness and how to control yourself and i know he's going to be better off than we can imagine"

I know he will. She will too

His original soulmate was left in Armageddon and rematched so there's no issue there.

Then he was matched to us

And now to her.

So her original soulmate she had for 14k years had met someone he fell in love with this lifetime.

Probably because Armageddon (they have 3 Gods) Female Goddess had decided to make that change to the original only 2 people per pair except for hermaphrodites which is 3 (one singular gender to remind them not all are like them in gender) or 2 pairs of hermaphrodite soulmates which share each other for procreation and joy.

A hermaphrodite here is someone like me that would have been exiled from Armageddon. So they changed it and made sex better instead of punishing.

With Only Alex i have the same amount of sexual feeling as a hermaphrodite. Not nymphomania but the having 2 sexual organs to fuck with. So it's like I have a Dick and pussy orgasming at the same time.

So my sex with Alex Laughlin feels better than my sex with Saint Luches or Jesse or Mark...

The Goddess granted these things.

Other lifetimes, the last lifetime it was better with Jesse Tony Jamison.

And initially before his death, it was only slightly better with Mark.

After it became 10x greater with Alex than I've or Ang human has even felt on this Earth.

Which I deserve. I do believe. But that is kinda sad for y'all and i don't ever wanna know what that feels like again!!

Eventually i will, tho, its only to make up for the years I've missed with Alex.

In about 50 years it will be 10x less than it is now, so we can populate the Earth naturally with like 40 kids per pregnancy. Per 8-9 months.

Incentives. They're reincarnated so they will come out all adult like. Like me, potty trained and ready to live as an adult in their own houses.

Which is why i have a palace.

So for 50 years ill be having sex ev chance i get. So don't mind if you live your own life and i fuck mine away, because i won't.

The ten times greatness is for all soulmate pairs tho. And every one for eternity will feel the 4 sexual organs a hermaphrodite feels. During 2 partner singlular gender sex.

So everyone thank Goddess Armageddon!!

Im Goddess Earth and Alex is King Earth. We will have a God to pray to for our upkeep God Tree of Knowledge and Eternity.

So when you say goddess or God you'll think tree. Who will be all over the Earth and you can speak to in person.

Queen Elizabeth II and I are/will create rulers of small communities with the assistance of the Tree.

Not all God trees will be the same. Some joke, play pranks, are emotional, more protecting. Like people. Their own individual personaloties based on 4 of my original Earth soulmates and myself. So 5 types.

We have 19 different Astrological signs not based on birthdays.

We have predictions based on birthdays.

So that will change.

12 original from Armageddon, 4 gods, me and 2 like the parent gods from Armageddon.

What happened was... 2 soulmates had Armageddon as gods. Their son about to get his soulmate ane planet got impatient and recreated himself as human to destroy Armageddon in anger for not having his own soul and planet.

2 other planet gods were pregnant with their baby his soulmate and he got angry it wasn't now now now.

So he was given Earth as a reprimand. See why I'm ao mean???? I had to help raise that boy. He was a spoiled brat.

So now as he's finally allowed the right thing to continue and occur. He finally gets what he needs

His own soulmate and world where people like Matt Hagan are and Matt is. Obama will go also.

Anyone that shrank to child size around Christmas is his to keep on his planet.

So we got our kill and torture list to fill his planet from here. :)

[auroraphilealis]

Hi! Can you recommend any like angsty fanfics? (Phan of course lmao) I quite like those especially when my mood isn't the best lmao, idk why, I'm weird. Thank you in advance!

you’re not weird! Sorry for answering so late, I just don’t normallly read a lot of angsty phan fics, so I had to go on a search for some of my favorites!

Once again, just gonna format like phanfiction catlaogue does cause its the most useful way hahaha

Mind The Gap @mangothatismelancholy - Set in early 2017, Dan grows insecure in the amount of time he and Phil spend together. Worried that the older man is missing out on life experiences because he’s too preoccupied with the signature D&P branding, Dan tries to fix it the only way he knows how.

This one is so, so good, and so long. I read it on my way to work and then straight THROUGH work one day on @vanillasolitude‘s suggestion, and it actually made me cry? Like, I don’t know, my chest ACHED from it, okay. It’s fantastic

Philosophical Graphic Novels @ithinkiphan - Over the course of a few months, we watch as Dan and Phil’s relationship blossoms. Through angst and fluff, they find themselves trying new things and overcoming obstacles together.

This one is one of my all time favorites, happy ending, but plenty of angst in terms of like, Dan being existential and very depressed. I really like it, but I remember it always gives my chest a tight feeling!

Stitched Together By Scarred Skin @literaryphan - no one ever said the idea of soulmates comes with guaranteed romantic love, and this is where it leaves them — swaying between two sides of the depth, unable to go back and unable to go forward.

One of my all time, all time favorites. Its just... heartwrenching with a happy ending and the whole story makes your heart ache in the best of way!

Please Don’t Say You Love Me @definitelythor - Phil and Dan have a friends with benefits deal going on but feelings get complicated. After Phil ends it, he finds that he can’t keep his hands off of Dan, but he also can’t tell the truth about how he feels.

Absolutely amazing. One of the first fics I read. Its a fwb AU and its got ALL the angsty feels PLUS more, and plenty of smut. I love it to pieces and its a good fic to make me want to cry!

Even lovers drown @definitelythor - Dan meets Phil when he’s nine and Phil’s thirteen, and he very quickly becomes the best thing in Dan’s life. But Phil’s a merman and no one else believes that he exists.

Also one of the first Fics I ever read. I hightly recommend it, again, cause it has a happy ending, but the middle has a lot of angst and heartbreak in it, just less romantic heartbreak than the one I recommended before this hahaha

The General Rules of Existence  @walruslovechild- Dan is a complete mystery and Phil is background noise, And everyone just wants to escape the dead-end town they grew up in. High-school-ish AU.

Omg, I almost forgot about this fic. It is purely amazing, and it makes me so happy just remembering it? Because it’s not what you’d expect, and it has this looming, dark angsty feel that ends in a positive way, I think. I haven’t read it in quite sometime but I remember I adored it. 

Lost In The Crowd @fictionanddiction - When you begin to see color, it means you have found your soul mate… unless you become lost in the crowd.

Shit, shit, shit. I read this fic as it was being posted, and I will never forget the giant hole in my heart. It is SO good, and SO heartbreaking, and SO amazing, you can’t imagine. It’s hard to read sometimes because you’re so upset over the... soulmate plot twist, but like, just. it’s worth it. 

Give Me Love  @notanotherphanfictionblog - “Phil was a Deos Amoris, which translated itself to ‘gods of love’, but Phil thought that was very pretentious. Some people made the mistake of calling all of his kind ‘Cupids’, and that wasn’t right either…”

THIS WAS THE FIRST PHANFIC TO MAKE ME CRY. By the time I read the final chapter, my chest PHYSICALLY hurt, and I could not stop sobbing. I’m not even joking. It does not END phan, but it is Phan centered for almost the entire fic. I... I love it so much. But I could never put myself through reading it a second time. 

We’re Okay  @daeguk -  Phil fucked up, and both he and Dan know it. They fight and yell behind closed doors and between outtakes of videos, all the while trying to mend something that seems completely broken. Appearances have to be kept up, though. To friends, Dan and Phil are lovers; to the BBC, they’re radio hosts; to their viewers, they’re best friends. But pretending is exhausting, and Dan doesn’t know when he’ll snap.

This one makes me so upset. I love it to pieces but I’m always broken after reading it. It’s highly recommended though!

I’m sure I could find more, but I’m getting sad looking at these all HAHAHA so let me know if you need more

[pjxmin]

I just read proposal yesterday and thought it was so sweet! I was wondering if you have any fics you could recommend? Jimin is my bias but I'm pretty open to any members with the reader. Thanks and keep up the good work! Kep jarng! 😁

Aghh thank you so much, sweetheart! I’m so glad you enjoyed Proposals and I’m really flattered that you’re asking me for recommendations! :D Okay, here’s a list of my fave fics that you should check out if you haven’t already. So you aren’t confused, the stuff in italics is the synopsis/description the writer provided and the indented bit is me being incoherent and lame as always.

Sin City (Jimin x reader) by @btssmutgalore: After a run of bad luck, you can go back home and admit defeat or step out of your comfort zone and look for a job at Sin City.  

Hands down the best stripper au I’ve ever read. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from this fic because you never know where stripper AUs are going to go, but holy moly am I glad I gave this a chance. You will be addicted to this fic. Jimin’s character has so much depth, but he’s such an enigma at the same time and I’m dying to know what the heck he’s thinking/what his background is. The tension is so drawn out and the sessy scenes are all so different, which is really refreshing to read and you don’t know what’s going to come next. ALSO, I feel like there’s a lot of empowerment and respect in this fic, which makes me so happy. Love love love this fic with my entire being. 

Monster (Jeongguk x reader) by @btssmutgalore: You sleep with an obnoxious fratboy who used to be your friend.

This fic is perfection. It doesn’t have a complicated plot, but it’s still so interesting to read and the smut is A++++. Jeongguk’s character has so many facets and though he has a lot of issues to sort through, I’m rooting for him and the OC so much. 

Purple Jewels (Jimin/Jeongguk x reader) by @jiminniemouse​: When you fall in love with Jungkook and he isn’t there to catch you, a sudden surprise shows up to give you a little bit of help.

GENIE!JIMIN. AKLSDJFKLAASKDJFLK (I really tried not to keyboard smash but fuck I lose my shit because of how much I love this fic). Oh man, where do I even begin with this?? It’s my absolute favourite Jimin x reader fic and one of my absolute fave fics in general because it’s written so well, it’s creative, the characters are interesting, AND THE TENSIONNNN. I come so close to combusting with each part and I’m dying for more. Also Jimin’s character is so sweet and I love him so much (where can I find myself a genie Jimin???). Please please please read this!

Hiraeth (Jeongguk/Taehyung x reader) by @jungkxook: A world full of dwindling hope and lost loves and yet you and Jungkook are all the other needs to feel at home. 

This is the first member x reader fic I ever read and IT IS THE BEST THING EVER. EVER. It’s a zombie apocalypse au and it’s so angsty and sometimes it feels like my heart has been punched out of my chest and it’s such a wonderful feeling even though it hurts like hell. The world is constructed so believably and there are so many well thought out details to it, so when you’re reading it feels REAL. All the characters are different and you never know what’s going to happen next. I can’t recommend reading this enough, it is freaking incredible (and the love triangle is fucking me up so bad).

Philophobia (Jimin/Jeongguk x reader) by @minsvga: sex has its consequences, always; whether for better or for worse, sex always has its consequences. and the drunken rendezvous you have with your best friend is not an exception.

This is discontinued but it’s still worth reading because it’s so freaking hot and I love the plot and just??? I don’t usually read fuckboy fics because fuckboys are the bane of human existence, but this fic is amazing and the smut is awesome. Also be prepared to not know who you’re rooting for. One second I would want Jimin to win the OC’s heart and the next I wanted Jeongguk to end up with her, so brace yourself for conflicting feelings.

Company (Namjoon x reader) by @fireheart-namjoon​: Sometimes all you want is a bit of company.

OKAY before I scream about the sessy stuff in this fic, I really want to say that I fucking loved Namjoon’s characterization in this and it’s so nice to read an OC who is strong and independent. The writing style is absolutely fantastic and the thigh riding was 100000/10.

Retrograde (Jeongguk x reader) by @remembeo​: fantasy!au

When I read this I feel the way I do on rainy, dark days when I’m reading a book and just slip away into the world on the page. The details and the way this is written are so mesmerizing and I want to know more. You’re so swept away by everything that you completely forget about the reality for a little while.

A Roadtrip (Jeongguk x reader) by @taeinmycup​: Jungkook makes your planned roadtrip to Busan a bit messy.

Road trip fics never get old and neither does the childhood-friends-to-lovers plot either. This was a wonderful fic to indulge in and um the frick frack is pretty damn nice. Just saying.

Sutures and Stitches (Jeongguk x reader) by @hayjeon​: hitman!jeongguk and medstudent!Y/N bestfriends!au; Jeongguk always shows up to your place or hospital whenever he gets hurt because you guys are best friends and you patch him up, but he has no idea that every time you stitch up his wounds, it tears open new wounds in your own heart.

I recently read this and I am OBSESSED. I refresh the OP’s page daily just to make sure I didn’t miss an update. The writing is so detailed and Jeongguk’s character is so interesting, I just want to know what the heck happens next + how Jeongguk ended up with this kind of life.

Chrysalism (Jimin x reader) by @workofteaguk​: Bookstores have always lured you in with the promise of the quiet, the serene, and, most recently, him.

THIS IS THE SWEETEST FREAKING THING AND I WISH IT WERE LONGER. It made my entire day when I read it and I was smiling the entire time. Where do I have to go to find a cute boy like this???

It’s All Fun & Games (Jeongguk x reader) by @workofteaguk: In which you and Jungkook attempt to fake a relationship for revenge and end up with a lot more than either of you expected.

When will fake relationship AUs not be the best thing in existence? The answer to that is never. I don’t care how many times people write this concept, it will always be so fun to read because of the angsty feels. So if you’re as trash for this as I am, then absolutely read this.

Sounds of You (Jimin/Jeongguk x reader) by @vivacioustae​: As a young girl you dreamt of hearing the bells, the ones that signaled you had found your soulmate, the missing piece everyone was so desperate to find. After falling in love with Jimin you abandoned the search, hoping you would come to never hear the bells, preferring to continue your life with him uninterrupted. You’d soon come to learn the harshness of fate, and that it doesn’t care about your hopes, feelings, or you.

Listen, from the very first sentence of this fic, I was completely hooked. From the get go you know that it’s going to mess with your emotions, but it’s worth it. I love this concept so much and my heart is aching reading this. After reading the first part, this fic is all I could think about and my heart ached because I wanted to know what was coming next, but also wasn’t prepared for it. Love love love this.

Teamwork (Taehyung x Seokjin x reader) by @sugajpg​: Peculiar events occur when the two best volleyball players of your college decide to take competitiveness out of the courts.

Best threesome fic I’ve read so far. I’m just. :’’’’’)) I’m still screaming. Fml this is too good and I feel the flames of hell licking my feet but screw it. Where do I sign up for this?

Like Crazy (Jimin x reader) by @war-of-hormoan​: This story is based off the film by the same name.

Because I don’t care about my well-being in any way, I started this fic and I love it so much so far. The film Like Crazy is incredible, but it feels like you’ve been punched in the gut twenty times by the end, and it made me sob… like crazy. So this fic will probably end up doing that too and as nervous as I am for that, it’s so worth it. Everything is written so vividly and the relationship between Jimin and the OC is so sweet to read. I’m really excited to see how this progresses.

Grey Area (Yoongi x reader) by @blushoseoks: And just like that, your fate was sealed - because Min Yoongi was absolutely going to destroy you. But hell, if you weren’t going to let him, or bask happily in the flames as he did so. And sadly, at the time, you didn’t think that your thoughts would become so literal.

THIS IS SO WELL WRITTEN. SO. WELL. WRITTEN. Ohmygod, I’m in love with this writing style and THE CONCEPT IS AMAZING. The ending of part one left me feeling like I’d been kicked in the gut or something and you’re all ???? wtf is going on??? and you’re completely hooked so you binge read the rest. This fic is perfection.

Until Next Time (Jimin x reader) by @taeverie: Who would have guessed that a stranger you met through an online game would quickly escalate into a cyber fuck buddy?

OK OK OK UM LET ME GATHER MY THOUGHTS HERE. First off, how can I be the OC?? Second off, HOW CAN I BE THE OC???? I wouldn’t have the balls to actually be this forward in real life but still, this just kept escalating and they didn’t even really do the hanky panky but it was still hot as fuck and 10/10 would recommend.

Not So Honest (Jeongguk x reader) by @wonhopes: Jungkook has got a pretty big problem, and he desperately asks you for your help. 

Hi hello yes be prepared to explode ok this was TOO good oml. I’m also a slut for sub!jeongguk because that sinful man deserves to be tortured the way he tortures us so this was a glorious find (though the roles do reverse in the end but whatever THIS WAS GREAT).

Obey (Jimin x reader) by @sugasgrowl

sub!jimin. Must I say more? I spontaneously combusted like ten times while reading this and would gladly undergo that again because it’s so nice to read fics where the roles reversed and I would give up a limb to see Jimin in such a debauched state.

All To Myself (Jimin/Yoongi x reader) by @mint-tape: “It’s hard to be a vlogger when half your subscribers care more about your hot friends than you.”- Y/N, from her April 23, 2016 vlog titled ‘Jimin shows his stupid abs 8 times (not clickbait)’

THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST CREATIVE FICS I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE. All the ‘videos’ and the ‘comments’ and just everything about this is absolute perfection. The characters are all diverse and the OC is really likeable. Just. I’m glad I found this fic, it’s so unique and all these extra goodies make the read even more fun.

The Blue Notebooks (Jimin x reader) by @inktae: time travel au

Honestly, I don’t even know what to write about this because I’m still speechless. No words can capture how beautiful the writing is (all her work is beautiful) and how well emotion is captured in this. Everything is so thought out and all these little details come together to form the bigger picture. Do yourself a favour and read this as well as all the rest of the OP’s writing. She is so freaking talented and we are all blessed to be able to read her work.

…Sorry, that got ridiculously long. @_@ For member x reader fics I tend to read Jimin/Jeongguk focused stuff, if it’s not incredibly obvious… Oops. Am I Jimin biased or jiguk biased? Anyway. I hope this list helped and I’m sorry it took so long for me to respond, I just wanted to get through some of the fics I had saved in case I wanted to recommend them. Enjoy!

[jjems645-blog]

7, 8, 10, 16, 22, 24, 25, 29, 30, 31, 32(and why), 34, 37(and why), 38, 39, 42, 43, 44, 45, 47, 48, 49, 50. I feel bad for asking all of these but then again not because you offered it and I'm a super curious person.

7: Where is the line between insanity and creativity?I’m not quite sure, but I think it comes down to when something someone imagines starts to become reality to them, when in actuality it’s not.8: What is true happiness?I think that is up to the individual person. For me, true happiness is knowing that I’m loved and cared for and accepted. I could go on to say I want everyone to be loved and cared for and accepted, and I wish we didn’t have poverty and world hunger, etc. but if that’s included than I would say true happiness for me is not achievable. I would like to believe it is though, so I’ll stick to the narrower description. 10: What makes you, you?In a broad sense, what makes someone them is their personality, how they look, how they identify, I suppose whatever they want to make them, them. For me, I suppose what makes me, me is everything, even the bad things about me. There’s a lot of things that make me different from other people, but someone will always share those individual traits with me. It’s the specific combination of things about me that really make me individual. 16: Who defines good and evil?We do. We decide what is good and evil to us, and it can differ greatly from other people’s definitions. Morality is a completely made up, human concept.22: What is true love?I’m not really sure I have an answer to this, I think this also has to do with an individual. Some people might desire certain things that go along with their definition of “true love” that other people don’t desire. At its core though, I suppose true love is being completely invested in the entirety of someone else’s life, and being committed to making their life better in any way you can.24: Where do thoughts come from?Well scientifically, thoughts are just electric currents transmitted throughout our brains.25: What is beauty?Again, I think this is up to the individual person. I think beauty to me is just a feeling and I can’t really put specific traits to it, and I don’t want to. 29: What is infinity?By definition, infinity is something that goes on forever. But it’s so much more complicated than that. Is the infinity between 1 and 1.5 smaller than the one between 1 and 2? Can there even be multiple infinities, or are they all just the same? Does infinity have a start? Does infinity even exist? What if they all end somewhere we just can’t see? None of these I have answers to.30: What happens after we die?I hate this question, because I have no clue, and thinking about death makes me anxious. What I currently think happens is that we just simply cease to be, no more thinking or feeling, we go back to the state we were in before we were born.31: What defines you?This is similar to the what makes you, you question. I suppose I define myself by things like my artistic ability, my anxiety, the way I interpret and think about things. But it’s different for everyone. 32: Is it more important to be liked or respected?Ooh, tough question. Both things you can force people to do. My first instinct is to say liked, I guess because sometimes you can be respected but not be a good person. You must be somewhat of a good person to be liked, right? But then again not. I’m just going to go with liked, because if you think about it, you can have respect for a teacher or some kind of authority figure without liking them. You’re simply required to. I feel like that’s wrong and not truly earned, but liking someone is a choice. You really can’t force someone to like someone else. 34: Where does the soul live?I don’t really believe that people have souls, so nowhere?? I guess you could stay the brain, because that’s where our consciences exist. 37: Is trust more important than love?Yes, in my opinion you can’t have good, healthy love without trust. If you love someone but don’t trust them, I don’t think you really love them. 38: Is it easier to love or be loved?I think sometimes it can be easier to be loved. It can be hard to love, when there’s not much to love in the world. But being loved is easy as long as you have someone else that loves you. 39: Is it better to love and lose or never to love?Depends. In a romantic sense, many people don’t desire love or want it at all. For those who do though, I think it’s worth it to have the experience, even if it ends in loss.42: Is there a reason to life?I don’t know, and I don’t think there needs to be. That’s not to say nothing has a reason, but I think we spend too much time searching for a reason for life that may not be there, and why does it matter? We’re here. The universe exists. It’s incredible that this is all happening around us. I think we should enjoy it while we’re alive to have it, and not worry about why it’s here.43: Is life all a dream?I don’t know. I want to believe life is very real. But it doesn’t always feel like it.44: When does consciousness begin?Well I don’t remember anything before the age of three, but some people do. I don’t really know though I think this question is more scientific and I’m not educated enough to answer. 45: Do dreams mean anything?Considering that they come from our brains and our consciences, and our often formed around things we’ve seen in real life, yes I think they mean something. Idk what though. 47: How did the universe begin?Let me hit you with a return question, did the universe ever begin, or has it just always been? If it did begin though I don’t know how it happened. But I think it’s possible that it’s just always existed.48: Is there a supreme power?Probably not. I don’t really know49: Do soulmates exist?Well I don’t think people have souls so no?? But are some people meant to be with each other... no, I don’t think that could possibly be a thing. People are so different from one another and we have so many different opinions, desires, etc. Idk I just don’t think that’s possible.50: What is a normal person like?I don’t think anyone is truly normal. Everyone is so different and complex, how do you even determine what’s “normal”.Thanks for asking and don’t feel bad about asking a lot I enjoyed answering.