#and not even in a physical way
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#I am so unbelievably tired#and not even in a physical way#I feel like I can’t keep up with life anymore (not in a suicidal way don’t worry)#but I just keep getting diagnosis after diagnosis that I can’t do anything about#I’m constantly being called an asshole for trying to get people to vote for a candidate who isn’t actively#trying to break up my family and take my actual literal human child away just because her parents are queer#’but she’s done bad things’ yeah that’s great and all but I really don’t want my daughter taken away so that’s just how it has to be#unfortunately I don’t get the luxury of voting with my heart. I have actual first hand problems that will ruin my life if trump wins#so kindly fuck off with your moral high ground bullshit#I am just so so so tired#I miss feeling like my life was safe and okay
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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something something katsuki can't keep his hands off you when he's had a little too much to drink (see: denks the worst at-home bartender in the world, believes a shot of vodka really means four).
it starts off innocently enough, gathered in eijiro's living room, when he cracks a foul-mouthed joke and you double over into side with laughter. the heat starts to creep up his neck, but it's easy to blame it on the alcohol. he nudges you back playfully, a grin quirking at the corner of his lips.
two more shots of whatever vile concoction denki mixed up and he's melting into the couch. he's sitting on one end, a little squished with how mina, eijiro, hanta, and denki are piled on top of each other - chatting away, drinking, and desperately trying not to make eye contact with the wasted blond. katsuki's got you perched all pretty in his lap because "there isn't any room left to sit." a convenient excuse.
you're flushed and trying to keep up with mina's story and you're having a great time with your friends but katsuki's hands are looping casually around your waist and pulling you closer to him and he's leaning a little on you for support and you feel a zing speed down your spine as his lips brush against your arm. an accident.
his head's a little fuzzy, but katsuki's practically melting with the alcohol swimming through his veins. and you're so soft it's making everything even fuzzier. before he even finishes that thought he's testing out the plush of your waist, your thighs, pinching a little at the small of your back, and back down to your thighs. you squirm in his hold, and he retaliates with a soft grunt and by biting what he could reach.
the spit on your arm is more uncomfortable than the rather tame bite he gives you. you can see his eyes wobble, flitting to different parts of your face. "hol' s'till," he garbles and your heart leaps into your throat. you can feel four sets of eyes boring into you both, but you can't break away from katsuki's heavy, lidded, lovesick gaze.
#no idea where that came from#the holy spirit took hold of me#maybe i'm just touch starved cries#i think katsuki doesn't drink often so his tolerance is piss shit#and he already struggles to keep his emotions at bay when it comes to you sober. even worse when drunk#and i like to think this is early enough your friendship / crush that the physical barrier has not yet been breached or#has just recently been breached#he wants to touch you so bad! not even sexually (although he does) it's just a matter of a new level of intimacy#that drives him wild and spills over when drunk in a single-minded way#ok goodnight#bun.writes#char.katsuki#suggestive ?#bakugo x reader#bakugo katuski x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugo headcanons#bakugou headcanons
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I. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. I’m okay I’m fine I’m okay I’m fine I’m oka
The fic I'm illustrating and losing my mind about 👉 Mistakes on mistakes until
#maccadam#transformers#prowl#jazz#jazzprowl#momu fanart#fic fanart#LISTEN.#I DON'T THINK JAZZ IS GONNA DIE.#BUT I THINK HE M I G HT#Like.#I don't even know anymore#something in me tells me that everything will be fine#but! throughout this whole fic my inner voice was absolutely. completely#DRAMATICALLY fucking wrong 90% of the time#so it's not like I can't trust the tropes#I can't even trust myself anymore ahahahah#his 'see you on the other side' YOU SENSE IT TOO RIGHT?? ri g h t?#or Is it me just finally losing the last pieces of my sanity?#both ways - I fucking love this fic#I want to make it into a physical copy for myself once it's finished (despite printer ink costing like an airplane wing in my country lol)
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i'm ready to try
#This drawing is kind of personal to me#I recently graduated (CUM LAUDE WOOOO!!!!) and its like. not to get depressing#but when i was younger i was never sure whether i would make it to this point#When i was going through what i consider to still be like. the worst time of my entire life#This fictional character was there for me and she was something for me to latch onto and cope with#eGem helped me a lot with being able to process my emotions at the time but also helped me to reflect on myself#which i think is a big reason as to why I'm really happy with where i am with myself right now#I'm going off to uni next school year to study astronomy!!! which!!!#Im also doing because of eGem!!! She ignited this kind of childlike wonder for space for me#I love doing math and physics and whilst Im still a bit scared because. honestly i don't know whether this is what i want to do with my lif#I think i'll be okay either way#either way i wanted to draw egem again even if i haven't done so in a while because its like#i think i wouldnt be who i am without her. i think i'd be a lot worse off#so like. thank you empires smp thank you geminitay thank you egem This drawing is me expressing my gratitude#AND THANK YOU AUTISM!#empires smp#empires smp s1#empiresblr#esmp#geminitay#art#fanart#alice.art#mcyt#mcytblr#song is andromeda by weyes blood... obv.. you guys know me by now :oP
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Mothers and fuckers of the ketchup and mustard household (I'm going even more insane than usual)
#its not the fact that wade is touching logan. he does that all the time.#he does it all over#he'd do it all the time if he could#no sweet summer child#its the fact that logan didnt protest or remove wade's hand#not even that wade is cupping a feel. he can be perverted later#its the fact that logan is now a domesticated cat#we've been talking about how logan is physical touch love language AND touch starved?#look no further#deadpool 3#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wade wilson#wolverine#logan howlett#deadclaws#poolverine#deadpool 2024#i've seen my house dogs wag their tails when i reach out to them the same way#my house cats too#point is#logan is wade's scary dog privilege. except wade is debatably scarier.#logan is wade's little pet. his little bITCH (affectionately)#who's gonna tell logan things are going to be like this for the foreseeable future
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Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love, mine, all mine
#genshin impact#arlecchino#peruere#clervie#ouhhhhhhhh im never gonna be able to emotionally recover from watching that animated short#ever since it came out a couple days ago just thinking of these two makes me feel like my heart is physically being ripped in half#i cant stop thinking about how Clervie was the only person in Arlecchino's life that she truly loved#like dont get me wrong Arlecchino loves her children in her own detached-fucked up way as much as any person with her amount of trauma can#but Clervie meant so much to her that even just her presence alone kept Arle's curse at bay#and it seems that no one other than Clervie herself has ever been able to break this unemotional/detached wall that Arle has put up#and maybe no one else ever will#DONT GET ME WRONG I still fw arle x other female harbingers like that shit is still peak#but oh my god the idea that arle never moved on after clervie's death and will never love anyone the way she loved her makes me want to SOB
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the fact that they made the gameplay mechanics actually lean more on solving puzzles and strategy because her element is wisdom
#I LIKE THAT A LOT ACTUALLY like that makes a lot of sense#thats not saying link doesnt use his head in dungeons but when u play as him it relies a lot on physical ability#even botw and totk with the scaling mountains and stuff feels like smth you can’t exactly do as zelda#or at least it would feel a little out of character??#so this is a really nice change of pace I can’t wait to play it#OH AND THEY KEPT THE BOTW ZORA DESIGNS I think this works way better to tell them apart from river zora#yapping#echoes of wisdom#loz#loz echoes of wisdom#Nintendo direct
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Saw a post about working class butches in physical labour jobs and wanted to make my own, so: I love you butches who do childcare or early education. I love you butch nurses. I love you butch house cleaners and janitorial staff. I love you service industry butches. I love you butches who do sex work. I love you working class butches who do “feminine” jobs you are cool as hell
#butch#lgbtqia#lesbian#its me im butches doing stereotypically feminine work#when I was nannying full time I kind of thought of it as I was doing Nanny Gender#like especially bc I wore mostly dresses then for practicality reasons#which gave me The Dysphorias but yeah. my way of navigating that was to get a little fluid with it.#also even tho they don’t get perceived as such: all of these jobs are as physically demanding as many ‘physical’ jobs#like girly at least when I worked in a warehouse/delivery bay I got to sit down#look I could probably think of a better term than ‘physical labour’ but like. you know what I mean.#anyway. sometimes you have those I am uncomfortable when we are not about me moments#and then you remember that you can just go talk about your experience
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Rewatching Adventure Time, I can't help but think so much Princess Bubblegum discourse would be non-existent if people actually watched the show to completion instead of randomly hyperfocusing on some of PB's bad deeds.
There's a very bizarre and commonly held belief that Princess Bubblegum did terrible things and got away with it, that nobody held her accountable. When the show makes a point, repeatedly, that Princess Bubblegum is well meaning but deeply flawed, and to some characters, straight up evil.
I see fans point to "The Cooler" a lot as proof that PB is an irredeemable character, and while it is her worst act in the entire show.... I think people forgot that that was the point. Near the end of the episode she stops spying on people in Ooo because it was an invasion of privacy. In another episode she's called out for exploiting some aliens and lets them go. She feels ashamed that her own people are terrified of her. She loses her entire kingdom, and realizes she needs to get her shit together.
I'm pretty critical of shows that are way too lenient on flawed female characters but Princess Bubblegum isn't one of them. She's awesome, and heavily misunderstood.
#txt#and i wouldnt even say this is a fandom problem because most fans who are actually dedicated to the series love her#its people who stopped watching after like season 5 and then watched a few eps and then the finale#its just a version of PB in their head that doesnt represent her entire character#like damn i rewatched rattleballs and this episode fans treat as proof that she's immoral was just the equivalent of doing a couple recalls#or how lemongrab was 'abandoned' when he is a grown ass man who physically and verbally abuses her people.#AND SHE STILL WENT OUT OF HER WAY TO PROVIDE HIM A KINGDOM AND SOME FOOD.#thats not even getting into the massive misunderstanding around her relationship with finn#how finn only survived the first fight with the lich because she gave him a sweater out of concern for his health#and then there's people complaining about her doing necromancy??? ARE YOU SERIOUS#FINN KILLS PEOPLE. LET THE GIRL DO SOME NECROMANCY
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Dear God, won't you look at me? Even for a moment, won't you let me pretend you're mine?
#alien stage#alien stage ivan#alien stage till#alien stage round 6#aventill#art#artist#fanart#illustration#illust#digital art#THEY MAKE ME PHYSICALLY SICK IM NOT EVEN KIDDING#THE WAY IVAN IS HOLDING BACK FROM KISSING KIM AND JUST NUZZLING SICK#EVIL. EVIL I TELL YOU. i've only known them for a day and I'm physically sick#also idk u yall can tell#but reference to the kiss (artwork)#anyways yes#im in pain
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Cryptic visions of space and time...
#essek#essek thelyss#critical role#mighty nein#caleb widogast#this works on its own but it's actually part of a bigger fancomic idea i have#but i still have to figure out if i even want to invest so much time into something like that lmao.. prob not#i already made a concept document for fun and its way too long.. unfortunately i rly like it#i rly believe in the idea tbh i just dont know if its physically possible because i work fulltime LMAO#its a lot of fun tho#here i am 3 years late idk why the essek thoughts bubble out NOW ignore me
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Blacked out in front of my tablet and woke up with sketches of my Touchstarved mc + Kuras my beloved. woops
#I found out dr. kuras is 6'6 I said hold on lemme get a stool so I can climb this man#touchstarved#touchstarved game#touchstarved kuras#kuras#sleepyscribble#oc.emma#my mc is meant to be a self insert but also like. I wanted to come up w a design and character arc and everything jkvkvk#so I ended up basing her on my personality/looks but taking her into a direction that would fit the game#she's like. me but 'characterized' and a bit exaggerated for the sake of being a character yk#the way she turned out is that she's basically a friendly happy go lucky mage who laughs at her own misery but hides#a deep layer of self loathing underneath all that bc of her curse#having been cursed all her life she believes she's a monster and the sunny personality is a way for her to 'make up for it'#but at the same time she feels like a farse. like she's only luring ppl in to an inevitable demise#and she thinks she's selfish bc despite knowing the danger she poses she still goes out there and puts herself among ppl#bc she craves human connection. even tho she feels guilty for 'indulging' in it#anyway I love the cursed mc concept in this game <3 it's been really interesting to think abt how that would affect someone#also I kept her physical features looking pretty much like mine#bc I wanted to draw myself in a cute way. teehee#but the clothing I was basically thinking like. early game simple clothing that she didn't rlly pick for herself#and maybe later I can have an updated design w something she would actually pick for herself
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Branzy is not some innocent waif by any means, but I feel like everyone misunderstands the ways in which he matches Clown’s freak. Particularly, they want to subvert what they view as the architypical dynamic between Branzy and Clown without any real regard to how Branzy's personality actually meshes with Clown's. They recognize that Clown’s intimidation of Branzy is surface level, but don’t seem to grasp what’s going on below that to give Branzy his own edge over Clown.
Branzy is a homicidal maniac in his own right, and certainly has aspirations of being the kind of murder machine that Clown is, but he just does not have the fighting skill to back it up, nor was he a particularly skilled engineer when he first joined Lifesteal. At his core, Branzy is a coward. He gravitates towards whichever player or team he thinks is going to protect him, and he'll stroke their ego to get in their good graces. He gets by on his charisma and charm.
Clown, despite having a clear advantage over Branzy, still frequently comes across as uncomfortable with Branzy's attention, while also craving it and seeking it out. He's also a deeply reserved individual. Even when he's emoting he's still very quiet and even tempered. He plays his cards close to his chest. He's a loner. He has his reputation in part because he's unreadable and intimidating. He was coming off of a season where he hadn't died a single time. He’s an unstoppable force without an immovable object.
So here's the scenario: You're a stoic assassin. Usually you like to work alone. Other people slow you down. But you want revenge and you want to execute it in a particular manner that just happens to be outside of your wheelhouse. You have to team up with someone, and it just so happens you know someone with passable talent and a common enemy. You can tell he's afraid of you, and he should be, because he can't even beat Spepticle in a fight, how would he ever take on you?
But he's also... strangely affectionate. You box him in and he lets you, even as he's shaking with fright. You flirt and he flirts back. You're used to letting your reputation speak for itself, but here he is singing your praises to anyone who will listen. He puts all the credit for the collaboration on you, and downplays his own contribution. He sticks around even after you've exacted your revenge, and he still has nothing but good things to say about you, no matter how much you push and prod and scare and tease.
The fundamental difference between Branzy and Clown is vulnerability. Branzy has had no choice but to embrace his, while Clown has done everything in his power to excise it from himself entirely. Branzy allows himself to have big emotions and Clown barely speaks above a whisper at any given moment. When it comes to a fight, of course there isn’t much that can scare Minecraft’s Deadliest Assassin. But Clown has no idea how to navigate emotions, while emotions are Branzy’s greatest asset. People relate to Branzy, they trust him, and he uses it to manipulate them right into their traps. He can trick others’ emotionally as easily as Clown can cut them down with his sword. His relationship with Clown was made on the foundation of betrayal; he sacrificed his alliance with Vitalasy for Clown's protection. It was more important to him to stay on Clown's good side than remain loyal to his previous team, and this is because he felt, with 100% certainty, that Clown offered him more than Vitalasy did. And Vitalasy never saw it coming.
That’s what makes Branzy so terrifying to Clown. Because he trusts Branzy. He lets his guard down around Branzy. He lets himself be vulnerable with Branzy. What if Branzy’s just manipulating him too? Or worse.
What if he’s not?
#callioposte#clown has the upper hand in the realm of the physical while branzy has it in the realm of emotions. they cover each other's weaknesses#but by working together they are bringing themselves closer to that weakness#the glue holding them together is that#1. clown is as fascinated by branzy and his relationship to vulnerability as he is frightened of it#2. branzy has deified clown as some sort of avatar of protection so that the two concepts are synonymous in his mind#this is why he's constantly invoking clown's image even when they aren't working together#working with clown allowed him to go positively apeshit in a way he couldn't with anyone else and it's made a lasting impression#also smth smth the genuine affection that branzy expresses towards clown#smth smth alliance remaining past its expiry date and clown never having a partner stick around once it was no longer convenient before#branzy is his emotional support dog the same way he is branzy's guard dog#lifesteal smp#clownpierce#branzycraft#lsshipping#clownzy
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baby👶 drawings. these are very dear to me rn.. 2nd pic is my Nelavis with @barvin0k's Varonur 🩵 last one is a baby bosmer and snow elf, hairiest of them all. although the bosmer was meant to be my girl Barletta too lols
#tes#skyrim#my art#oc#nelavis#barletta#😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔 babies are so sweetum ugh my heart is crumbling rn#referenced some anne g*ddes stuff for dis#i call them snow elves instead of falmer like g*lebor would want me to#i never really get to talk about my elf anatomies at length cus i'm lazy but i sprinkled some info in the first pic#altmer society is EugenicsLand so you could only tell if your child has 'good' traits when they hit puberty#ex. height and shoulder width is something very important to them#if you don't have those traits ur pretty much a failure#other elves have it easier 🤓#idk i still might make some kinda infographic for the way i picture them but umm maybe not who knows#on snow elves and bosmer the fur is still 'confused' when they're in baby stage and is pretty much everywhere#it evens out w/ age and stays on the back; neck; sides of face the most and in places where human body hair wud be#idk ummm..and i think all elves grow their nails out unless they're very intertwined with humans in their life#ex. my snelf elisif; she has her nails trimmed to be regarded as more human i guess#nails are most important to altmer tho and might be a status symbol of some kind... they like using them in combat too#it's shameful for an altmer to not have long nails for any reason but there can be exceptions#like my el*nwen that can't physically grow nails out because of burn injury#so she has fake ones on her combat gloves#it's cute#elf nails aren't as frail as human nails and are more like an animals claws (corny) but bosmers' are the sturdiest#and their nails are curved in shape. for U know. Climbing and stuff#cause dunmer and altmer etc. have straight nails. they can hit the nail salon
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They don’t want us medicated (“do you want to be dependent on that for the rest of your life?”), they don’t want us unmedicated (“please stop doing xyz, why can’t you do abc?”), they just want us to stop being neurodivergent.
#also applies to physical disabilities and literally any condition that requires medication#you could even stretch it to trans people#’stop being depressed’ ‘stop taking hrt’ which is it then?#under the surface it’s always just ‘stop being the way you are’#neurodivergent#adhd#adhd meds#medication#campost
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