#great way to make a potentially scary classic more approachable

[the---hermit]

I am not saying here's a link to a free online version of the 1984 graphic novel but if it was there you should probably go read it.

[yanderecrazysie]

Can you maybe do a Yandere Alphabet with Tendou please 👉👈🥺🥺

Of course I can!!! I'd be more than happy to! :D

Tendou Satori (Haikyuu) -The Yandere Alphabet

🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

Warnings: yandere themes, kidnapping, murder, food/water deprivation

A is for Affection: How do they show their affection for their darling? How often do they show it?

💖 Tendou would start with soft touches that could go unnoticed by you. Just one of those "touchy friend" types, right? An arm slung around your shoulder, pulling at your cheeks teasingly, hands over your eyes from behind saying "guess who?", and other harmless, playful things.

💖 These touches might start to escalate if you receive them well. A quick kiss on the cheek, a hug that lasts much longer than normal... suddenly it doesn't feel as "friendly" as it used to.

💖 When Tendou "takes you home", he'll see no reason to hold himself back with his affection. He's going to be fairly clingy, just warning you!

B is for Blood: How messy are they willing to get for their darling? Why?

🔪 Tendou seems to enjoy seeing the helpless look on people's faces, so he might enjoy murder. Since the sadistic pleasure comes from defeating his rivals, I think anyone that is a contender for your love is probably in mortal danger.

C is for Care or Cruelty: How would they treat their darling when they kidnap them? Would they mock them?

💔 I don't think Tendou would really MOCK you, but he would be pretty smug about his victory. He wouldn't be able to stop gloating about his plan going perfectly.

💔 Tendou will treat you well, though. Don't think for a second that he'll be mean because this boy's a bit like an overexcited puppy when it comes to you.

D is for Delusion: How delusional are they when it comes to their darling? Do they believe their darling loves them?

💭 Tendou is aware that you don't like him back (yet) but he doesn't think his thoughts or actions are abnormal. Possessive tendencies, dark thoughts, even murder... it's all because he loves you, so that's fine!

E is for Expose: How much of their heart do they bear to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling? How much time will it take to trust them?

💧 Tendou didn't have a great past and he doesn't really love thinking about how the other kids bullied him. I think he does have a bit of fear that you might judge him too, even if you've shown nothing but kindness towards him.

💧 Because of that insecurity, I think it would take a long time for Tendou to tell you about his past if you didn't know it. If you did know about it, he wouldn't want to talk about it. But why dwell on bad memories when he can make good new ones with you!

💧 Trust though? Tendou is a bit paranoid about you leaving him, so you're literally never going to be trusted near a potential escape. 50 years down the road and he's still not letting you within EYESIGHT of the padlocked door.

F is for Fight: How would they react if their darling fought back?

👊 Tendou would probably find it hilarious if you tried to physically fight back. Do you HONESTLY think you're going to overpower him? I mean: he's big, strong, fast, and good at guessing your next move. Yeah, nice try.

👊 Like I said, he'd find it funny. It's a bit of a challenge, it's so cute to see that feisty side of you! To Tendou, it's kind of like a special little game you both play. You'll never really win anyways, so what's the worry?

G is for Guilt: What would it take for them to feel guilty about their actions? Or do they feel guilty from the start?

😔 Guilt? What's guilt? I don't think Tendou would feel that.

😔 Seriously though, even if you got hurt or were upset, I don't think Tendou would blame himself. He wouldn't blame you, of course, but it's just kinda... necessary, you know?

H is for Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

🔥 An angry Tendou is not a fun Tendou. Seriously, angering him isn't fun for you or him. He can be a cute, dorky little thing but he can be kinda scary when pissed.

I is for Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

👩‍❤️‍👨 Tendou has a cute little future planned for you both. This boy's thought hard about what your wedding will be like, how many kids you both will have, etc. I don't think he'll really take your opinions into consideration, but maybe if you try hard enough you can convince him.

J is for Jealousy: How easily do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

💢 Tendou doesn't feel "jealousy" exactly. He can pick out rivals, yes, but he doesn't have any worry about them taking you away from him. They won't if he has anything to do with it.

💢 It's fine if you talk to others, though it'll irk him if you're really flirting with someone. He won't blame you for attracting admirers and he'll let you talk to them if you want. They just... aren't exactly... safe from him...

K is for Kidnap: How would they go about kidnapping their darling? How much do they plan it out?

🔒 Tendou would be quick to kidnap you BUT he's not stupid. If the risk of being caught is high, he's not going to rush. He'd find a good opportunity and have a plan for how to take advantage of it. He's pretty good at figuring out what you are going to do.

L is for Love Letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

💌 Tendou wouldn't mind being friend-zoned as a start. That way he can be close to you without you suspecting him of any ill intentions. And he can just pretend to be "that touchy friend" that likes to hang all over you.

💌 He'd probably be extra playful with you and seek you out so much that even his teammates can't help but notice. He'd ask you to go everywhere with him and trail after you when you go somewhere.

M is for Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they acted before?

🎭 I would say that Tendou can hide things pretty well. He sometimes conceals his true nature and how dark his thoughts are, but his teammates/friends/family CAN tell that he's acting strangely.

N is for Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

🚓 I can't picture Tendou hurting you (or really any yandere, to be honest) but I can picture him being crueler with his punishments than the others.

🚓 Tendou might deprive you of food/water until you give in to what he wants or he might lock you up with very tight restraints. You'll come to learn that an angry Tendou isn't a fun Tendou to deal with.

O is for Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling? What rights can be earned with time and trust?

📜 I think that, as long as you're behaving, Tendou would let you roam pretty free around the house. I mean, that's not really saying much, considering you can't leave or anything.

P is for Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

🕊️ I feel like Tendou wouldn't be very patient. Not so much "impatient" as he is just really excited. He CAN wait, he'd just prefer not to. I feel like he'd be playfully impatient too- pretending he can't wait another moment and dramatically faking relief when the wait is over.

🕊️ Tendou wants to give you the benefit of the doubt and he knows you need time to adjust. As long as you don't go TOO far, he will go super easy on you. He'll probably even do a "3 warnings" system or something.

Q is for Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

🏃‍♀️ If you die, Tendou will spend the rest of his life miserable and in mourning. I don't think he'd know what to do with himself- he lost his whole world when you left it.

🏃‍♀️ I do think there's a possibility for escape, just not a high one. If you do manage it, Tendou will hunt you down for as long as it takes. If it takes until the day you die, Tendou will keep searching.

R is for Rage: How do they act when angry? How do they calm down?

👿 Tendou's anger ranges from peeved "tch"es to bared-teeth yelling. In any case, it'll be hard to calm him down, unless it's not aimed at you. If he's having a bad day or angry about something not related to you, wrapping your arms around him or climbing into his lap will immediately soothe him.

👿 If you're the one that caused his anger, however, you're in big trouble. Your only options are to wait it out or hide. If you hide, you stay safe but he'll stay angry for longer. Weigh the pros and cons.

S is for Soulmate: What made them fall in love with their darling? How did they first meet? When did they realize they loved their darling?

💍 You either defended him from bullies or were kind to him, never seeing him as a "monster" like the others. Your refusal to be cruel to him immediately caught his eye, since most people give him a LOT of distance.

💍 Tendou just ADORES how you don't flinch when he approaches you, that you don't stare uncomfortably at his face, or that you don't make fun of his mannerisms. You don't seem to approve of his fairly-cruel (and frankly disturbing) songs and attitudes about others, but you don't treat him any different because of it.

💍 You never had to treat him special, in fact, that's the exact opposite. You treated him NORMALLY. And, because of that, he got the chance to get to know you. Aren't you so glad?

T is for Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

😭 It depends on the situation. I think, if it was something you were really sad about, Tendou would try to cheer you up. He'd do his best to turn that frown upside down because your smile is so much prettier!

😭 However, if it's because of his punishment/anger or you're crying about "wanting to go home", he might be a little more sadistic about it. I can see him doing silly little teasing gestures (tilting his head strangely, innocently wondering aloud why you're so sad).

U is for Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

👌 Tendou isn't... normal. Like, even canon non-Yandere Tendou is kinda... strange. Because of this, no matter how disturbing and yandere he acts, no one else will realize just how serious his oddities are this time.

V is for Visit: Would they allow anyone else to visit their darling? Do they trust their darling to talk to their loved ones (in person, on the phone, etc.) or not at all?

🧳 As long as Ushijima doesn't tell, the miracle boy can come hang out with you two. Tendou secretly kinda wants to show you off a bit. Won't Wakatoshi be so happy for him?

🧳 Semi Semi doesn't get to visit you. Sorry.

W is for Weakness: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

❌ Being hated. If you hate Tendou or act like you do, it'll break him. I'm not saying "call him names" because THAT will just anger him. I mean "I hate it here", "I don't want you", and just generally pushing him away from you.

❌ He wants you to love him- That's one of the reasons he loved you... because you DIDN'T hate him... You can't hate him- YOU CAN'T-

X is for Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

🛐 As clingy and loving as Tendou is, he's not the worshipper type. You put him at a level of normalcy, so he puts you on that same level. I mean, your relationship with him is NOT normal, but to him it is.

🛐 Tendou WILL go to any length necessary to win you over, though. I mean, he didn't kidnap you just for fun. He abducted you so that you could both fall in love together like you were meant to, without all those pathetic rivals in the way.

Y is for Yearning: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

😍 Depending on how friendly you were with Tendou, he may have had a "slow burn" (in Tendou terms) or "instant" love for you. If you met through mutual friends or something, it'll take a while for him to "snap". Otherwise, like everything with Tendou, it'll go QUICK.

Z is for Zero Tolerance: What is the thing that always makes them snap? What things will they not allow their darling to do under any circumstances?

0️⃣ Calling Tendou names = the exact opposite of why he loves you. Especially if you call him a "monster". That word will send Tendou into a fury you will instantly regret invoking. An "I hate you" is a million times better than "You're a monster".

🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

I really hope you enjoyed! I did my best!

I always feel like I don't know Tendou as well as most people do- like his personality is so... bizarre... I don't know how to put a finger on just what he's like-

[hallelujah-lockandload]

Cuddles

Have a cute Ray x Reader! he needs more love so i made something cute and fluffy for him.

Rated G

Every once in a while Ray and I get together and have a movie night and sleepover. Its been a long ass time since our last one since he and the boys went on tour. I mean, I went with them too cause I’m an honorary band member helping with lyrics and harmonies but still. Being cooped up in a bus and shitty hotels kind of ruins any prospect of a fun movie night with your best friend, especially when everyone else keeps trying to get you two together. Not that I totally mind cause of my huge crush on Ray but still! It makes things awkward and it's frustrating. 

Anyway, tonight was the perfect night for us to have a sleepover! It was supposed to rain and potentially thunder which means its perfect for some scary movies, maybe an attempt at cuddling on the couch before he leaves to sleep in his bed and I crash on said couch. I can dream. Plus other than the storm, Gerard said he was going out tonight so Ray and I got the living room to ourselves.

I threw on some leggings and a comfy sweatshirt to wear over since it's nice and cold outside, while I packed a long sleeve pajama top and matching pants. Along with some shorts that match the color of my patterned pjs. You never know if their apartment heater is going to  decide to actually work or not. I put my toothbrush and face wash in my bag, then head down stairs to wait for Ray to come pick me up. 

As I reach the bottom of the stairs I take my phone out to check the time. It’s only around 5:30 but Ray and I wanted to get an early start so we can hang out more and catch up. As I pocket my phone I hear a car coming around the corner, I didn’t want to get my hopes up but thankfully I see Ray’s old car coming straight to me.

“Hey there stranger,” Ray greets as I open the door.

“Hey yourself, asshole.” I laughed buckling in. 

Ray chuckled, “You ready for our movie night?” He made his way out of the alley and back to the main roads.

“Of course I am! It's been so fricken long since we hung out, just the two of us.” I smiled watching the buildings go by.

“I know. I’m excited too.” Ray paused turning the music up a little. “Should we get pizza or chinese food tonight?”

“Hmm I feel like pizza and ice cream are in order for tonight,” I laughed looking at him. 

He smiled, “That sounds perfect.” 

“Good,” I said before turning the radio up louder as ACDC played. 

The rest of the ride went by quickly with us chatting or singing along to the radio. We got out of the car civilly but as soon as we approached the stairs leading to the apartment we raced each other. Ray beat me up, but just barely.

“I would have fucking won, if it weren’t for your long ass legs.” I huffed trying to catch my breath.

Ray just laughed as he unlocked his apartment. Walking in we took our shoes off and I dropped my bag down next to their couch before throwing myself on it. 

“Yes, of course. Make yourself at home,” Ray said from the kitchen, making me laugh. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Nah, I’m good.” I moved so I was sitting on my side of the couch like usual and Ray came and sat down next to me. 

We popped in a chill movie that we both had seen a bunch, but not Star Wars because we both get distracted by actually watching it, that way we could call in for dinner and just chat for a while. We talked the entire time only pausing to get the pizza delivery and then to take bites of our pizza. Once we finished the pizza we put on a classic scary movie to watch since the clouds were heavy now and the setting sun was invisible. 

“Should I turn the lights off?” I asked as Ray fast forwarded through the dumb commercials. 

“Yeah, let's get spooky.” He chuckled. 

I got up from my warm place and walked into the kitchen hitting those lights first before turning off the one in the living room. As I plopped back down into my spot I accidentally sat closer to Ray than before. Or was he now closer to me?

“Sorry,” I mumbled as my shoulder brushed his arm. I made to move but Ray stopped me.

“No, it’s fine. We could, uh cuddle like we sometimes do.” Ray said. “Or I could just throw this blanket over us. It’s clean, I promise.” Ray chuckled, grabbing the blanket off the back of the couch.

“As long as Gerard hasn’t puked on it, I assume it's clean.” I let out a laugh. Ray laughed as well as he threw the blanket over our legs. “And uh cuddling is fine,” I say fighting the blush that's trying so hard to show. Thank god for the lights being off. 

“Okay, cool.” Ray mumbled as he settled back into the couch throwing his arm over my shoulder casually, I couldn’t stop myself from leaning into him as the opening terror sequence finally started. 

We went through the movie like that, under a blanket with Ray’s arm around me. I could feel every breath he took and it felt like my nerves were wired. This did not help at all especially because I had not seen this horror movie before and I jumped in my seat at nearly every jumpscare. But Ray was tense too, something tells me he took this movie from Gerard and hadn’t seen it himself yet either. 

“Well that was a good movie,” Ray said as the credits rolled.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight.” I confessed shaking my head in an attempt to erase the scary realism of the movie from my memory. 

Ray laughed awkwardly. “Uh yeah. I feel the same way.”

“Ughh,” I groaned leaning into Ray and putting my forehead against his chest.

Ray’s arms wrapped around me in a hug. “Should we watch a Disney movie now?”

I nodded, hiding my face in his hug.

BANG!

I jumped at the loud sound and Ray tightened his arms around me. I glanced up at him and we made brief eye contact before we heard a thump at the door. We both turned our heads to glare down the door in hopes that it wasn’t the fucking killer from the movie. The sound of keys in the door and its opening made us both relax slightly. The outline of a man could be seen as the door opened and the light from the porch shone down on him. 

“Ayy! Y/n! I didn’t know you were coming over!” A drunk Gerard said from the door way, flicking the lights on. 

Ray and I sighed, the tension leaving us. Ray let go of me quickly, mumbling a sorry as I turned to face Gerard.

“Yeah, Ray and I are having a movie night. You also scared the crap out of us!” I said loudly, pulling my feet up onto the couch under the blanket.

“Sorry, sorry.” Gerard waved a hand at us as he walked into the kitchen getting a bottle of water. 

“Sorry,” Ray said quietly next to me.

I turned and looked up at him. “Why are you apologizing? He’s my friend too, I should apologize to you.” I said, poking him softly in the chest.

Ray laughed, “Okay I guess. But I mean we planned this because he wasn’t going to be here and now.” Ray shrugged.

“It’s fine.” I smiled softly at him

“Kay, I’m out of here. You two,” Gerard pointed at us as he walked towards his room. “Keep being cute and don’t wake me up unless you’re getting murdered.” Gerard said sternly.

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at my drunk friend. “Go to sleep.”

“I’m going, I’m going.” Gerard mumbled. We could hear him bump into the wall before closing his door. 

“What a dork.” I said looking up at Ray.

“I know, it’s getting better though.” He said looking at the hallway our friend disappeared down.

“I know. It’ll get better one day.” I said softly. 

“Umm so,” Ray shook his head. “A disney movie? Yeah?” 

I laughed, “Yeah that sounds great.” 

Ray got up from the couch and took out the horror movie before replacing it with Beauty and the Beast. 

“Aww I love this movie!” I said as Ray settled back down next to me.

“I know,” Ray smiled, wrapping his arm around me again. Tonight was the best cuddling night ever! Even if it's platonic cuddling… whatever. 

We watched the movie cuddling under the blanket and Ray was beginning to nod off. Once the movie ended I suggested that Ray head to bed but Ray told me that I should take his bed in case Gerard gets up and makes noise in the kitchen. I tried to convince I would be fine but he insisted he take the couch and I take his bed. Somehow I managed to convince him that we should just share his bed. How my brain supplied that without overwhelming embarrassment beats me. Ray agreed though so it’s a win. I grabbed my bag and went to the bathroom to change and get ready for bed while Ray went and changed in his room. 

Once I was all changed, I headed into Ray’s room where he was throwing clothes in his hamper.

“Your room wasn’t clean, was it?” I looked up at him.

“Uhhh no.” 

I laughed before dropping my bag down on his floor at the end of his bed, “So do you want the wall or do I get the wall?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“You can pick.” He shrugged.

I nodded and hopped into his bed scooting towards the wall. Ray flicked the lights off once I was settled and came and joined me. I could feel the bed dip and then the warmth coming from Ray as he laid next to me. The rain chose that wonderful time to start pouring down. 

“Perfect timing,” Ray whispered in the darkness.

“Hahaha it is.” I said back. “I wish I could always fall asleep to the rain.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I want to live somewhere with more rain. I know we’re in Southern California for the music industry but, it would be nice to live somewhere with actual weather.” I laughed slightly as the rain poured on the roof and down the gutters. 

    “That would be nice. I’d like that too.” 

Light flashed through the window.

“You think that was lightning or a car?” I asked.

“Hmm, maybe lightning.” Ray said softly.

We waited in silence for a while but no thunder.

“I guess it was a car,” I said sadly. But as I finished thunder could be heard in the distance.

“The storm must be far away,” Ray spoke, nudging  me in the arm softly.

“Yeah yeah, I’ll count next time.” 

“Haha okay, okay.” 

Light flashed again in the room after a few moments and I started counting. “One mississippi, two mississippi,” Ray chuckled next to me. “Three mississippi, four mississippi, five mississippi, six mississippi, seven mississippi, eight-” Thunder started to rumble then. “The storm is getting closer.” I said quietly.

“Yeah.” 

“Hey, Ray?” I asked looking up at the ceiling. 

“Yeah y/n?” 

“Do you like cuddling?” 

“Yeah, why?” 

“Do you want to?” I turned my head to look at him. “It's nice and rainy, I feel like it's perfect weather for cuddling.”

He looked at me as light flashed again, “okay.”

“One mississippi, two mississippi,”

“Oh my gosh,” Ray laughed.

I put my finger up to silence him as I counted to five mississippi's. “Oh it's even closer now.”

“Haha yeah.” Ray took a deep breath, “Do you want to be the little spoon or big spoon?”

I looked back at him, “When the smaller person is the big spoon it's called being a jetpack.” 

Ray cracked up at that. He sat up and had to catch his breath before looking down at me again. “Alright do you want to be the jetpack or the little spoon?” He laughed leaning on his elbow to look at me. 

I laughed, “I feel like you don’t want to be the little spoon, so I’ll be the little spoon.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just that I don’t want to.” Ray laughed lying down next to me. 

I laughed too, turning away from him to face the wall. “I bet it’s cause you’re tall, you only know how to be the big spoon.” 

Ray brushed his hand over my waist before letting his arm wrap around my stomach, “You’re right about that. Plus I like being the big spoon.” He said, his breath warm on my hair.

“Sorry if my hair is in the way.”

“It’s fine, your hair smells nice.” There was silence for a moment “Uh sorry.”

“Haha it's okay, my shampoo does smell nice.” I whispered.

Lightning flashed again in the room. 

“One mississippi, two mississippi,” thunder cracked loudly above our heads.

“I guess it is perfect weather for cuddling.” Ray whispered.

“I know right,” I responded quietly. 

We laid there listening to the rain pound down on the roof around us and tinkle down the eaves of the roof.

“Sorry if my hand is bothering you,” He said after a while.

“You’re okay,” I said, moving my arm to rest on his before placing my hand on his at my stomach. “It’s nice.”

“Yeah?"

“Yeah.” I smiled to myself feeling his hand beneath mine and the massive blush on my face. I was glad we were in the dark. Ray moved his fingers a bit before threading his up with mine and holding them.

“Is this okay?” He breathed.

“Yeah.” I said quietly, tightening my fingers with his. Lightning flashed into the room once more but I could barely keep my eyes open. I closed them, not bothering to count as I waited for the thunder. Ray’s warmth behind me added with the sound of far off thunder lulled me to sleep in the cozy bed. 

[tarteausuga]

maybe soon

Contents: fluff, basketball player! Johnny Featuring: Johnny x reader, other members of NCT sporadically A/N: there could potentially be another part... word count: 2.4k-ish

In which you’re the head athletic trainer of the basketball team that Johnny is the captain of...

"Mark, I know you can wrap it yourself. I've taught you multiple times." You breeze by one of the youngest players of the team who was begging you to wrap his ankle for him.

"You do it so much better though! I don't play as well if I do it myself." He whined as you rolled your eyes at him.

"You'll have to wait your turn then." You direct your attention to Johnny, the captain who has been nursing a sprained knee for the past few weeks. "Have you been icing it on and off like I've told you to?" You ask him but your attention is directed at his leg.

"Yes and I've been keeping it elevated. How can I not when you're in half of my classes nagging me during lectures?" He smirks at you but you don't pay him any attention.

"It looks a lot better now. I'll find you a knee brace and you shouldn't need to wrap it anymore." You smile, content with your treatment as you pin the bandage in place.

"You're a lot less scary when you smile, you know?" He jokes with you as you give him a slight push. Telling him to shut it before finally attending to the needy Mark Lee who is being touted as the next star of your university's basketball team.

You felt a lot of pride in your work with the team. Sure it was all for course credit towards your athletic training degree but something about it made you feel like you were part of the team. They relied on you and you often felt like you were supporting them through your work. You were never great at sports so this was your one way of being part of something that you love so much.

Your dedication had paid off as you had been named the head student trainer after years of running water bottles and hauling medical kits. Working under the advice of your professor, you were trusted to call the shots and unlike some of your classmates, your advising professor rarely questioned you.

"Alright boys, gather around." Johnny called out in his booming voice just as you were finishing up wrapping Mark's ankle. You then proceeded to help your junior trainers with packing up the kits and filling water bottles.

"Johnny is always watching you." One of the younger girls said to you and giggled.

"He's so hot, I wish he would look at me." Another girl pouted and you fought off the urge to roll your eyes in front of them.

You found that a lot of the students who signed up to be part of your team were mainly a) female and b) trying to get close with at least one of the players. It was frustrating on your end because it often meant more work for you as they were often too flustered or distracted to focus on their actual jobs.

"You know that I help to grade you guys, right?" You glare at them as you found yourself doing your kit inventories alone while they were busy giggling about the players.

"You're no fun. You can't possibly say you're not attracted to any of them." A third girl scoffed at you.

"I can honestly say that when you deal with their sweaty feet enough, they lose their allure." You lie as they all become visibly disgusted and finally start doing their jobs assigned by you. You stifle a smile as you look up and meet Johnny's eyes from across the room. The last thing you were going to do was admit to your juniors that you were interested in someone. And the second last thing you were going to do was tell them that the person in mind was none other than campus celebrity, Johnny Suh.

You approved the medical kits as Johnny dismissed the team and they proceeded towards the gym for warmups. You also sent your trainers to follow, reminding them to do their inspections of the gym and not ogling the team.

"Go easy on them." Johnny nudges you.

"That wouldn't be any fun then." You nudge him back.

"See? Much cuter with a smile on your face." He chuckles while running away before you can smack his arm.

There was always so much going on during game nights. The basketball team was the most popular on campus, beating out the soccer team somehow. There were hoards of fangirls in the stands screaming out the names of individual players. Then there was the band and of course, the cheerleaders but to no one's surprise, the players were the centre of attention.

Johnny seemed to thrive in this environment. He would flash a smile every once in a while to the girls in the stands, drawing screams sounding like they were in pain. You could even see some of the cheerleaders try not to lose their composure from the sidelines when they saw him push his hair out of his eyes.

"That kid is lucky he's great at basketball," the coach mumbled before shouting "FOCUS ON THE PLAY SUH!"

You couldn't help but fight back a chuckle as Johnny posted up a 3-pointer before saluting his coach.

---

The game was over and while everyone was returning to their respective homes to rest after the exciting win, you were back in the training room making sure the team started their recoveries well: Attending to bruises, strains and pre-existing injuries as quickly as possible. Johnny often sat back and watched you work. Laughing to himself whenever you made a quick comment towards any of the guys.

"Are you going to ask y/n out anytime soon?" Jaehyun, another popular player on campus, slid next to his captain.

"Nah I'm just going to get rejected. I've tried every year and it's always a no." Johnny smiles fondly at all of the times you've turned him down.

"You seem oddly happy about that." Jaehyun frowns.

"We spend more time together like this. We would have to be separated if we started dating. Conflict of interest or whatever but I still ask every year just to make sure we feel the same way." Johnny explains.

"And you're okay with the rejection…" Jaehyun tries to confirm but Johnny only nods, continuing to watch you work with the team. "There are other girls out there. You know that right?" Jaehyun suggested.

Johnny tried not to seem physically disgusted at the prospect. "I'm aware, Jaehyun. Thanks." He said in his low tone that often scared the other players.

"Alright, I'm just saying." Jaehyun slid away.

When the room quiets down and all of the team has trickled out, you're left with melted bags of ice and cut up pieces of athletic tape surrounding you. But you're not alone as Johnny seats himself across from you on the training table.

"Is it my turn now?" He smiles.

"You need to pay attention better," you sigh with a faint smile, undoing the bandages wrapped around his knee, "one slip and you're doing to hurt your knee again."

Johnny always had knee problems. He tore his ACL during your second year of university and it never fully recovered after surgery. That was probably the toughest year of Johnny's career, facing the fact that he likely wouldn't make his dreams of playing in the NBA come to reality. You tenderly apply ice to his knee as he winces at the cold.

"You worry too much." He says.

"You make me worry." You respond quickly.

"At least you feel something for me." He lowers himself to look up into your concentrated gaze.

"Let's not do this now." You look away and go make an ice bag for him.

"Oh come on, we always do this. I ask you out, you reject me, we bicker back and forth then we both quietly know the feelings are still there." He leans over you at the ice machine.

The best you can do is sigh and roll your eyes, "you're insufferable, Johnny Suh."

"And that's why you love me." He looks for an agreeing smile from you expectantly. You force one to appease him.

---

It was the morning before one of the last midterms of your university career. Nervous energy was all around as that classic air of tension flooded the campus as students wracked their brains with exam material. Your morning cup of relief, a coffee in your hand and Taeyong, one of your best friends and another member of the basketball team, talking your ear off.

"I spent all night making this tiny little cheat card my prof is letting us bring in but Yuta fucking spills water on it this morning, I was ready to kill the guy but-" he stopped talking when he noticed you stop dead in your tracks. He looked back to see you with a mortified look on your face. "Hey, what's up?" He gently touches your shoulder before turning towards your line of sight to see what had stopped you.

What he saw shocked him too. One of the cheerleaders who always made it known that she found Johnny attractive was seated on his lap in the food hall. He seemed disinterested but nonetheless, there she was. You immediately turn to walk the other way even though you were on your way towards your exam.

"Are you okay?" Taeyong struggled to catch up as you quickened your pace to make it in time while taking the long way around.

"It's fine, Taeyong. It's not like we're dating." You huff.

"I know but you guys like each other, don't you?" He asked.

"No," you lied, "I could never like someone like him so he can do whatever he wants."

"Hey." He finally stopped you.

"I don't have the time for this, I have to write my midterm." You slip away as you threw your untouched coffee in the trash. The thought of drinking coffee disgusted you all of a sudden. Your brain associated the beverage with Johnny as he was the one that introduced it to you during your first year of university.

You walked out of your exam and saw Taeyong waiting patiently outside. He had his fair share of fans around campus but he never entertained them as much as some of the other members of the team. He was often depicted as cold and scary so not many people approached him, unaware that he's one of the most kind-hearted people in your life.

"Hey, how did it go?" He asked you meekly.

"Pretty sure I bombed it," you sigh, "what about yours?"

"The twisted thing is that those cheat sheets force you to study so I guess I don't need to kill my roommate." You both laugh.

"Hey what are you guys laughing at?" You hear the voice you were dreading from behind you.

"I'll see you later, Taeyong." You say before quickly finding a new path for your afternoon.

"Is she okay?" Johnny asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"That's not for me to answer." Taeyong shrugs.

You try your best to act normal for practice that evening. You go through your usual motions of getting everyone taped up and ready but everyone seemed to notice your usual lack of spirit and friendly banter with the team. Even your junior trainers talk quietly about whether you broke up with Johnny despite you telling them repetitively that there wasn't anything going on between the two of you. You avoid his eye contact as their coach runs through their plays and generally avoid looking at him in general during the whole practice.

When the training room cleared out, you were left with Johnny again and you tried to rush through wrapping his ice bag onto his knee when he grabs your hand. He bends his neck down again to look into your eyes which were starting to fill up with tears.

"Hey what's going on?"

"Nothing. I'm just stressed about midterms." You turn away from him to wipe your tears.

"I'm sure you did fine," he uses his strength to force you to face him. "You're the smartest person I know."

"A lot of good that does me." You scoff.

"Did I do something?" He asked.

"It's nothing, Johnny. I'm fine." You insist but he's not convinced.

"Are you mad at me or something?" He finally struck a chord with you.

You can only look at him for a moment as you try to tell him why you're upset with him. How do you word this without making things even more complicated than they already are?

"You didn't do anything wrong. I'm just dumb and thought I was special but I'm just like every other girl out there for you. It's my fault." You try to force a smile but he only looks at you in confusion.

"Other girls? What other girls? Oh did you see me with…" he pokes his tongue against the inside of his cheek as he lets out a breath of frustration. "That bitch…" he mumbles to himself.

"What?" You say.

"You saw that, didn't you?" He read the expression on your face before continuing, "we were just talking about midterms when she suddenly sits on me. I asked what she was doing and she said she saw her ex and needed a cover because she's trying to get across the point that she's not into him anymore."

You continue to look at him, trying to figure out whether he's telling the truth when he continues his explanation.

"Did you see me touching her at all?" You shook your head in response. "I didn't want to push her off, I might have hurt her so I just let her be. Now I'm thinking she only did that because she saw you." He took your cold hands in his. "I only like you, alright? I've always liked you otherwise I wouldn't bug you so much about everything."

"But I keep rejecting and you can have literally any girl you want." You say quietly.

"And where am I? Hanging out with you whenever I can. Waiting for basketball to be over so we can maybe be an actual couple." He laughs.

"Really?" You ask with tear soaked eyes.

"Yeah." He says.

"That's… kind of dumb." You say with a soft laugh,

"Thanks, I love you too." He smiles, running his thumb over the lines of your hand.

[gffa]

SO WHAT THE HELL IS THE MORTIS ARC? After about the second time I watched this arc, my thoughts ran towards the idea this was Star Wars in a microcosm, the story of Anakin Skywalker’s fall in miniature form, as so many things in Star Wars basically come down to being about Anakin, whether literally about him or an echo and rhyme of the story that he is the very center of.  Which I think still has a good amount of merit to it, but in the rewatching of this arc yet again, there’s a bigger arc that jumped out at me so much more clearly, now that I’ve spent more time with the structure and lore of Star Wars. That this arc is entirely a metaphorical extension of Anakin’s internal struggle between the light and the dark. It’s a manifestation of the Chosen One struggling to choose between good and evil. Now, to be clear, the Father and the Son and the Daughter are all real beings that really existed, Dave Filoni has said that pretty clearly on podcast interviews, as well as said more than once that he and Christian Taylor specifically decided not to answer What The Fuck Was That!? about this arc, because they felt it would rob the viewers of speculation about it, as well as the questions that you’re meant to ask after watching it. There are so many, many moments in this arc that are call-backs to important moments in Anakin’s life, major events and choices he makes along his path in life, as well as commentary from the Father and the Son and the Daughter about who and what they are, what influences them. In “Overlords”, Obi-Wan and Anakin and Ahsoka find themselves stranded on a mysterious planet, immediately approached by the Daughter and asked if he is indeed the Chosen One.  All three of the Mortis lords are intensely interested in Anakin, each of them try to protect him, seduce him, or just try to understand if he really is the Chosen One. While he’s staying in the Father’s sanctuary, Anakin has a vision of his mother, which he’s deeply affected by, but realizes it’s not really her.  He storms out of the room and goes to confront the Father, thinking that these are Sith Lords.  But the Father says, no, we’re not Sith or Jedi, we’re bigger than that, like you are. His explanation is:  “We can take many forms.  The shapes we embody are merely a reflection of the life force around us.” In other words, they take the shape that Anakin’s presence imbues them with.  They’re real on their own, but their forms here are shaped by the Chosen One.

But the Chosen One is a myth, right?  Well, the Father would very much like to know.  So, the entire rest of the episode is about hurtling the characters--hurtling Anakin, as the Chosen One--towards a test. A test that isn’t just about “hey, are you the Chosen One or not?”, but almost every single time the Father says what he has to do--face your guilt and know the truth, you have to release the guilt and choose, only you can do this. It’s about trying to make Anakin look within himself, look at his guilt and fear and pain, and acknowledge them, face them, and choose whether he will embrace them or let go of them. Which is E X A C T L Y how the Force works, how the Jedi have always said the Force works.  It’s Luke having to face his fears in the cave on Dagobah, it’s the Jedi younglings having to face their fears on Ilum, it’s Ezra having to face his fears in the Lothal Jedi Temple, it’s Rey having to face her fears in the cave on Ahch-To.  [x][x] FACE YOUR FEARS, YOUR GUILT, YOUR ANGER.  FACE YOUR DARK SIDE.

The planet is the Force and that’s how the Force works. Anakin uses the Force to make the Daughter and Son let them go, but refuses to stay on Mortis (and, honestly, doesn’t really do any self-examination or releasing of his guilt, he hasn’t changed internally at all), so they try to leave, but they’re still trapped there. Which is where “Altar of Mortis” picks up.  Because Anakin is still giving shape to the manifestations of the Father, the Daughter, and the Son.

“You’ve chosen the dark side and allowed it to feed your anger and desire for power,” the Father says. “By bringing the Chosen One here, you’ve shown me my potential,” the Son answers. And then moments later, he kicks the Father down the stairs (because he’s HOLDING HIM BACK! by not dying fast enough) and screams:

Even aside from time not being linear in Star Wars, we’ll see later that this trilogy of episodes is very aware of Revenge of the Sith and other important moments in Anakin’s life.  This moment, screaming in rage, “I hate you!” cannot possibly not remind us of Anakin screaming the same thing at Obi-Wan in ROTS. Which is yet another moment that’s about Anakin, just as so many other moments are about him, cool little moments of echoes and rhymes, that Star Wars likes to make references and homages to itself, but there are enough of them done with such clear purpose here that I don’t think it’s just Rule of Cool, but instead an intentional narrative purpose behind them.

There are more, but those ones are the ones that really jumped out at me, important moments in Anakin’s story, ones that reflect his fall into the darkness.  The moment he caught the saber and attacked Dooku as a choice he couldn’t take back (and was itself an important moment because it was a mirror to Luke’s choice to not kill Vader in ROTJ, even after cutting off his arm in a rage, as Anakin did to Dooku as well) and the moment he very much intended to kill Obi-Wan on the Death Star, these are classic moments that evoke our knowledge of Anakin’s path. And what does all this do? It further feeds what’s going on with the Mortis lords.

Everything pretty much goes pear-shaped at this point, Ahsoka dies, the Son accidentally stabs the Daughter instead of the Father-- Which, in and of itself is an interesting parallel to Anakin, his sister the only one he professes to truly love, he’s the one that winds up killing her, despite his intentions, but then we see he also very much loves the Father, he doesn’t want him to die, he’s distraught when it happens, even though he was the one who engineered it, just like Anakin being the thing that really breaks Padme’s heart/causes her death even without his intentions to do so, just like Anakin in “There is Another” in From a Certain Point of View where his heart explodes with loneliness after Obi-Wan dies, so powerfully that Yoda feels it from literally all the way on the other side of the galaxy. --but Ahsoka is saved through Anakin being the one to channel the last of the Daughter’s energy into Ahsoka, while the Father guides him, the Son fucks off to who knows where, and “What the fuck do we do now?” knowing that the Son wants their ship to leave with. This is where “Ghosts of Mortis” starts up, and the announcement furthers our themes:

“A great weight has been placed on Anakin’s shoulders, for it is now that he must face who he really is.” Not just that he has a choice to make, about what to do about the Son or Mortis, but that this still has to be about discovering who he himself really is.  Because Anakin has never yet really looked inside himself or faced his guilt and pain. Which is when he runs into Qui-Gon’s ghost, as he’s trying to find the Son, and wham does it deliver on all of this:

Qui-Gon’s words aren’t just “bring balance to the Force”, but specifically this is indicated to be done through facing his demons will he save the universe. Anakin, sliding right by that point, asks if he should just kill the Son or just leave?  And Qui-Gon’s answer is that Anakin’s not looking at this in the right way, that there’s another way to deal with this and it’s exactly the one that the Jedi have been teaching for as long as we’ve known them, that the Force has constantly been throwing into the paths of the Jedi, because it’s so necessary to becoming a Jedi:  Face the dark parts of you and work past them. This is why Qui-Gon’s words are so important--it’s not just that this is an echo of Empire Strikes Back where Luke has to face the inner demon of the specter of Darth Vader (it wasn’t an external threat in that cave on Dagobah, that was all about “what you bring with you”, as Yoda says, that was all about Luke’s fears surrounding him), that it’s not just that Qui-Gon says Anakin has to go to a place strong in the dark side but he has to remember his training. Qui-Gon’s ghost visited Obi-Wan earlier, asking, “Have you trained the boy as I asked?”  And now he says, “Remember your training.” because this is what Jedi do, this is what they train themselves for, and why Qui-Gon says it to Anakin here.  This is what you’ve been taught to do--go to the dark place and face your demon.  That’s the Force, that’s how it works. And further to that, how the Force works, how Star Wars works, is that it’s about choice in those moments.  When you’re at the crossroads, it has to be your own choice.  You can ask others for advice and guidance, those things can be incredibly important, but at the end of the day, Star Wars is about “only Anakin can choose”.

So, Anakin does indeed go to face the Son in the place strong in the dark and the Son forces him to look within himself.  To know himself.

He sees his future self and actions, he’s so distraught by them, that instead of being able to face them and pass through those fears, he’s consumed by them, he agrees to help the Son, falling to the dark side--poison yellow eyes of the fully embraced dark side and all--to try to avoid what’s coming. The thing is, Anakin never really confronts his fears, demons, or guilt.  He’s consumed by them instead.  It happens because he’s trying to avoid it, but he still falls to the dark side all the same, because he listens to the Son dripping poison in his ear, because he sees an easier way out than the hard work of disciplining himself against the dark side (which George Lucas says is how you resist it, the only way to resist it), because the other way seems too impossible and too scary. Anakin’s story has always been about how he can’t bear to look at himself and his choices and then make the choice--and stick to that choice--to do and be better.  His story has always been about his fears ran rampant inside him because he didn’t want to let go of the feelings that made him “special”, he didn’t want to listen to the Jedi when they told him to get a grip, he wanted to listen to Palpatine who told him his feelings should be held onto instead of let go, that they made him special, made him better than those other Jedi, that his hate and rage and fear were justified in being held onto. And that’s exactly what the Mortis arc is--a reflection and shape of Anakin’s story, that each of them were about the internal struggle he faced. That Anakin didn’t make these choices in one bad day. He made this choice over and over again. When he chose to dig his fingers into his feelings and hold onto them, listening to Palpatine’s poisonous words. When he chose to do a monstrous thing on Tatooine to the Tuskens and their children, but ignored what that said about him. When he killed Dooku, unarmed and for the sake of revenge and his rage. When he chose to maim Mace Windu and lead to his death, choosing Palpatine and the Empire instead of the Jedi and the Republic. When he chose to attack the Jedi Temple and kill the younglings, leading him to feel unable to ever go back, that his actions had to be justified or else he murdered innocents for nothing. When he chose to Force choke Padme, which lead to broken heart and her inability to live, after the terrible things he’d done. When he chose to attack Obi-Wan again and again, despite being warned, leading him to the Darth Vader suit. When he chose to refuse to accept the vision the Force put in his head in Dark Lord of the Sith, that Obi-Wan still would have forgiven him and helped him, when he rejected that and said, “No.  [The dark side] is all there is.” When he, again and again, chose to reject acknowledging that all these Jedi took different paths that he himself could have done (Jocasta Nu, Ferren Barr, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Eeth Koth, they were all paths he could have walked instead, even then). When he chose to kill Obi-Wan, despite that Obi-Wan had stepped back and refused to fight anymore. Anakin Skywalker desperately wanted to be good, there wouldn’t be a struggle or a story there worth telling if he weren’t.  The ending of Return of the Jedi wouldn’t have the power and impact it did, if Anakin hadn’t had embers of goodness in him that couldn’t be snuffed out, no matter how hard he tried. But I think Mortis is an arc that’s about manifesting the internal struggle, that these Force Lords took the shapes they did because they were feeding off him, as the Chosen One, the center of this massive web of destiny.  And that’s why Anakin’s choices on Mortis, his struggles and the warnings he receives, are the same ones that are part of the bigger themes of Star Wars’ Skywalker Saga, and just what the hell was going on. It was Anakin Skywalker’s struggle with the dark and the light--including that the dark won, with small pinpricks of hope and light left alive--literally made manifest and acted out with these players.

[mbti-notes]

I'm an isfj. I know someone with serious mental illness and I don't feel very compassionate when I hear about his life. I feel pity, I feel very helpless/powerless and angry, I feel guilty, or I feel uncomfortable and want to turn away coz it's scary that people's lives can go really badly. I feel really selfish being like that and I don't want to be this kind of person. How can I nurture more compassion?

Assuming typical brain development, you are born with the capacity to empathize. Empathy is an important part of human genetic history because we needed it for survival, specifically for successful cooperation. To work together well, we must understand each other well, we must support each other’s efforts well, and we must help each other contribute well. As with any raw, inborn capability, it’s up to you to develop it to its higher potential through the choices that you make. Your choices have decreased your ability to empathize. There are two common obstacles to overcome in the process of empathy development:

1) Egocentrism: People at low levels of ego development aren’t able to empathize because they aren’t able to recognize other people as subjects. Do you understand the difference between a subject and an object? Many people only know the difference in theory but can’t apply it. In English grammar, a subject is the “active” part of the sentence, e.g., the person who is doing something. By contrast, the object is the “passive” part of the sentence, e.g., the person who is having something done to them. This basic grammatical structure belies the framework that the mind uses to understand relationships in the world.

Everybody has their own experience, which means that your understanding of reality begins from your own personal vantage point - you see yourself as a subject, experiencing and doing things in the world. Your vantage point includes things like your self-concept, thoughts, feelings, ideas, beliefs, values, judgments, schemas, triggers, past experiences, etc. When you look out into the world through your vantage point, you don’t see the world as it is, rather, you merely see the world as it gets interpreted through the content of your vantage point. A simple example: When you look at a painting, what happens? All you see is a canvas with some colored paint smeared all over it? If that’s all you see, then you’re either not human or you don’t have a personality. No, for instance, as ISFJ, you see the colors and whether you like them, you see the image and how it makes you feel, you see the style and how it compares to the aesthetic styles that you’re already familiar with, and so on. 

The same principle holds true when you deal with people. You, the subject, acts upon the other person, the object, with the contents of your vantage point. You don’t see people as they really are but only as you want/expect/hope them to be - it’s all about you. For example: You think about how they make YOU feel, when in fact, they’re not purposely doing anything to make you feel anything. You think about who they remind YOU of, when in fact, they bear no relation to the people you’ve known before. You think about whether YOU are better/worse than them, when in fact, they are simply a person with strengths and weaknesses just like you. And so on.

There’s nothing wrong with having your own vantage point, as we all have every right to our own existence. However, the problem arises when you never learn or never acknowledge that there’s more to the world than your own vantage point, which means that you are, in essence, completely confined by it psychologically. In short, your vantage point gets in your way instead of aiding you. Egocentrism makes it difficult to empathize because you don’t really see people, rather, you only ever see aspects of yourself as you constantly project the contents of your vantage point onto them. This creates ego drama, as you are more concerned with your experience and how you’re reacting than what’s actually going on with the other person. When you’re not grasping the truth of someone, how can you know the most appropriate way to relate to them, comfort them, help them, or guide them, especially when their experience is very different from yours? You’ll be grasping at straws.

Therefore, empathy requires the ability to transcend egocentrism, essentially, to stop approaching the world as though your own experience is all there is (oblivious) or all that matters (narcissist). To have meta-awareness of your egocentrism and understand how it holds you back (in limiting your perception and distorting your judgment) is to create the space to choose differently, i.e., to refuse to be a slave to ego drama. When you finally wake up fully to the fact that you aren’t the center of the world but rather only one equal part of a greater whole, you will possess the humility that is necessary for empathy. Humility refers to the ability to put yourself into the right perspective. A genuinely humble person knows their rightful place because they are no longer a slave to the ego dramas that create craving for strength and superiority and/or fear of weakness and inferiority. Humility allows you to stop treating people like objects and respect them as subjects in their own right. In other words, their experience is just as important to them as yours is to you, and you are both fully equal in that respect, so you know to honor their existence, as you honor your own. This is the basis of the classic golden rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

What does humility look like in real-life relationships? It looks like LISTENING. To be a good listener is to listen without all the biases, prejudices, and judgments of your ego dramas. Reasonable and sound judgment comes only AFTER you have collected all the facts, which requires listening - only then should you be trying to apply what you know to their experience. But you won’t be capable of listening well if your ego drama is always twisting the facts or if your ego drama always gets triggered every time you interact with someone. To truly hear someone is no small feat. Not everyone who talks about their struggles wants “help”. A lot of human problems arise from never feeling truly seen and heard. Therefore, to be a great friend is, first and foremost, to have the ability to see and hear someone and receive their experience without judgment. Once you are capable of listening empathetically, compassionate action naturally follows.

2) Poor Emotional Intelligence: I have already written about this, so you should read the articles provided. It’s obvious from your description that you have poor emotional intelligence. The development of emotional intelligence is correlated with the development of the F function, so you struggle with using Fe properly. Being confronted by your friend’s struggle with mental illness, your emotions get triggered, your ego dramas start playing out, and in the end, you are stuck in your own head trying to make sense of what’s happening. Your attention isn’t on your friend, is it? You’re not really listening.

It’s common for people who struggle with empathy to frame the problem as “me versus them” - either I protect my own experience or I surrender to theirs. This defensive attitude is rooted in egocentrism. There’s “me”, there’s “them”, and there’s “us”. When you are egocentric, all that really matters to you is "me”, and "they” are only important insofar as they impact you. In “me vs them” mentality, you don’t want to feel any negative disruptions from the outside world, so you close yourself off to emotional influence (a common symptom of Ti loop). By being defensive, you are directly hampering Fe development. Without healthy Fe, establishing a sense of “us” in a relationship is impossible, because the wall of defensive fear never allows anyone to actually reach you. But what about the other side of F dysfunction, such as the people pleasers of the world? They are also egocentric in that they only care about their craving for acceptance and affirmation - it is still ego drama all the same. People pleasers give the illusion of not caring about “me” to get what they want from “them���, but it is actually all about ME and getting them to like ME, not about “us”.

When you have poor emotional intelligence, you aren’t able to accept and resolve your own feelings and emotions, which results in them becoming self-inflicted obstacles - they get in the way of good judgment. Having good emotional intelligence means knowing how to put feelings and emotions into the right perspective, such that they inform you to make BETTER decisions. Resistance to your own emotional life means damaging your decision-making ability as well as resisting all the negative things out in the world. When you encounter negativity in someone else, it reflects back to you your own negativity, and thus begins your ego drama of fighting and trying to bury the negativity in yourself. You are at least aware enough to honestly describe what you feel when you encounter someone that triggers you, but you don’t have the ability to resolve those negative feelings.

One of the main problems of poor emotional intelligence is not being able to tell the difference between thoughts and feelings. Feelings are simple, all you have to do is say, “I feel sad” or “I feel guilty”. That’s it. That’s a feeling. Once you start to say more, once you start to talk about the feeling, then you’re having thoughts. Feelings need not become anything more than what they are, and they come and go like the wind. But thoughts are complicated because they are about analyzing, evaluating, believing, speculating, etc. Thoughts stick to you in the form of ideas and beliefs, and they impair your judgment when you’re not addressing the underlying negativity that creates them. People often try to think their feelings away (i.e. rationalization), which doesn’t resolve anything and even spins you out of control.

You say that you feel guilty when hearing about his suffering. If you feel guilty, then feel guilty. Do you believe that there’s something wrong with feeling guilty? Is it not normal to feel bad for having more than someone when you’re an empathetic person who hopes that everyone can find their happiness? You say that hearing your friend makes you feel uncomfortable because you’re scared of confronting negativity. If you feel scared, then feel scared. Do you believe that there’s something wrong with feeling scared? Is it not normal to feel scared when imagining negative things that could threaten your survival? Why do you view feelings as abnormal or as something to be banished out of yourself? It’s a form of self-loathing.

From these two examples, do you understand that it is your own inability to accept yourself and your feelings that is the root of the problem? As SJ, it is typical to be more concerned with being “proper” than being real, so you consistently deny the truth about yourself because you don’t want to see the many ways that you are “improper”. Resisting your negative feelings and the truth that they reveal about your impropriety only feeds the negativity as you start judging yourself harshly, calling yourself “selfish”, thus your negativity escalates into ego drama and throws you for a loop. By contrast, if you were to simply allow your feelings to inform you about the truth of what’s happening with you and accept that truth gracefully, there would be no need for negative feelings to turn into a big ego drama. 

In the history of psychology, the humanist psychologist Carl Rogers was perhaps best known for his ability to empathize very deeply. He said: “If I let myself really understand another person, I might be changed by that understanding. And we all fear change. So as I say, it is not an easy thing to permit oneself to understand an individual.” 

If you fear change, if you fear your heart being disrupted, if you fear confronting what is strange and unknown to you, if you are easily threatened by difference or negativity, if you fear feeling the heavy moral responsibility of helping someone in need, then you will fear the act of empathizing with people, because they may, at any moment, say/do something that turns your world upside-down. It is that fear which keeps you closed off and stuck within yourself, refusing to empathize when you clearly have the ability to empathize. It’s up to you to acknowledge the fear, accept it, and let it go. Until you make that conscious choice, you are merely stuck on your side of the wall, never able to truly see past it. Only by letting someone into your world, being emotionally strong enough to feel touched without feeling undone, can you establish a connection with them. Once you’re connected to someone emotionally, compassion comes easily (and that is the basis of having a healthy F function). 

[aion-rsa]

Doctor Who: Previous Guest Stars Who’d Be Great as the New Doctor

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It’s not unusual, in the world of Doctor Who, for the same actor to play more than one role on screen. From classic to modern Doctor Who, Nicholas Courtney, Ian Marter, Lalla Ward, Jaqueline Hill, Jean Marsh, Adjoa Andoh, Eve Myles, Naoko Mori, Vinette Robinson and more have all played multiple parts in the whoniverse. Before she debuted as companion Martha Jones, Freema Agyeman was a Torchwood employee who fell foul of the Cybermen in series two’s ‘Army of Ghosts’. Karen Gillan was a seer in series four episode ‘The Fires of Pompeii’ before she recurred as Eleven’s companion Amy Pond. Even the Doctor has had test runs. Colin Baker played a Gallifreyan commander in season twenty before taking over from Peter Davison. Peter Capaldi appeared in ‘The Fires of Pompeii’ as well as playing John Frobisher on Torchwood before taking up residence in the TARDIS.   

In the search for the new Doctor then, it makes sense to rifle through those actors the show already picked once to see who might be asked back. Continuity can be handled if need be – just do what Russell T. Davies did and make up something about spacial genetic multiplicity, or what Steven Moffat did and pretend it was all part of the Doctor’s plan to remind him to be a good man. In a few cases, the shared genetics wouldn’t even be an issue as the actor in question’s first appearance was either solely as a voice, or beneath too many layers of prosthetics to matter.

Gliding over a few previous guest stars whose current filming commitments likely take them out of the running (Andrew Garfield, Carey Mulligan, James Norton, Felicity Jones, Gemma Chan and Gugu Mbutha-Raw are probably all tied up…), here’s a choice selection of guest actors since 2005 who could all make fantastic, and very different, Doctors.

Chris Addison

Played: AI interface ‘Seb’, who greeted the recently deceased to Missy’s Nethersphere. Appeared in: Two-part Series Eight finale ‘Dark Water/Death in Heaven‘. Watch his stand-up and there’s a real Tenth Doctor energy about writer-director-producer-comedian-actor Chris Addison (The Thick of It, In the Loop, Veep). That probably means his time has come and gone on Doctor Who, as the show isn’t likely to want to repeat itself at this stage. Addison also has his plate full with the third series of Sky/FX’s excellent comedy-drama Breeders, but you could definitely picture him at the TARDIS console, couldn’t you?

Arsher Ali

Played: Bennett, a bookish recent military recruit to a Scottish underwater mining facility in 2119. Appeared in: Series 9 two-parter ‘Under the Lake/Before the Flood‘ Part of a large crew (initially at least) we didn’t see loads of Arsher Ali in his Doctor Who role, but what we saw was enough to convince that he has the presence and bearing of a potential Doctor. He was great as the lead in BBC’s Informer and as a conflicted journalist in the first series of The Missing, as well as in supporting role in Line of Duty‘s best series. Add all that to his breadth of stage experience and he’s a highly intriguing prospect.

Percelle Ascott

Played: Delph, a member of the Ux, humanoid aliens who live for thousands of years and have the power of telepathic inter-dimensional engineering (they can teleport planets). Appeared in: Season 11, Episode 10 ‘The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos‘. Not the only entry on this list with a Doctor Who-adjacent role in his back catalogue (see also: Anjli Mohindra in The Sarah-Jane Adventures), as a teenager, Ascott played science geek Benny in Russell T. Davies’ Wizards Vs Aliens. He was great then, but really showed his range in cancelled-too-soon Netflix supernatural drama The Innocents, where he stole the show. When he popped back up opposite Jodie Whittaker’s Doctor as the wise and conscience-led Delph, it was hard not to imagine what he might do in the Doctor’s role.

Zawe Ashton

Played: Lieutenant Journey Blue of the Combined Galactic Resistance, a solider on the Aristotle. Appeared in: the Ben Wheatley-directed Series 8 episode ‘Into the Dalek‘. A regular on ‘Next Doctor’ wishlists for some time now, Zawe Ashton is a terrific actor who came to fame as hedonist Vod in Channel 4 student comedy Fresh Meat and who’s recently been seen in Hulu’s The Handmaid’s Tale. In ‘Into the Dalek’ she played a ‘shoot first ask questions later’ soldier, but Ashton has the range for serious, absurd and very funny – in short, everything required to make a great Doctor.

Maxim Baldry

Played: Dr Polidori, a nineteenth century character who was part of Mary and Percy Shelley’s social circle. Appeared in: Series 12’s ‘The Haunting of Villa Diodati‘, about the summer Mary Shelley conceived her famous science-fiction novel Frankenstein. Baldry’s scored a role in Amazon Prime Video’s new mega-money Lord of the Rings TV series, so his dance card is likely full for now, but he’s just the sort of actor to breathe fresh life into the role of the Doctor, much in the way Matt Smith did back in 2010. He’s probably best recognised right now as Viktor, the asylum-seeking boyfriend of Russell Tovey’s character in Russell T. Davies’ future-predicting Years and Years, but the Russian-British actor has been acting in films since he was a child.

Sanjeev Bhaskar

Played: UNIT’s Colonel Ahmed, a colleague of Kate Lethbridge-Stewart in the fight against Missy’s Cybermen-from-corpses wicked plan. Appeared in: Series 8 finale ‘Death in Heaven‘. This Doctor Who role was just not enough of Sanjeev Bhaskar, an actor-writer-comedian whose role as DS Sunny Khan in ITV detective series Unforgotten has elevated him to the status of national treasure (partly because of his backpack, but mostly because of his decency and warm humour). Bhaskar is playing Cain opposite Asim Chaudhry’s Abel in Netflix’s forthcoming The Sandman series, and there’s series five of Unforgotten on the way, but wouldn’t he be great as the Doctor? As would another member of his family (see below)…

Mark Bonnar

Played: 22nd century miner Jimmy Wicks in the one with the ‘ganger’ clones. Appeared in: Series 6 two-parter ‘The Rebel Flesh/The Almost People’. No, of course they won’t let another funny, clever, slightly scary Scot with a brilliant face be the Doctor so soon after Peter Capaldi, but in a parallel universe, Mark Bonnar would make a very fine Doctor – something that hasn’t escaped Big Finish. He’s got it all (funny, clever, slightly scary, brilliant face) and frequently steals whichever show he’s in. Watch this two-parter, Catastrophe, Unforgotten series two and the brilliant Guilt (series two of which is approaching) for evidence of that.

Kevin Eldon

Played: Ribbons of the Seven Stomachs, a trader in the ‘Antizone’ obsessed with the Doctor’s “tubular” (or Sonic Screwdriver), and the voice of companion Antimony in an animated online adventure. Appeared in: Series 11’s ‘It Takes You Away‘ and 2001 webcast ‘Death Comes to Time’. It just seems a waste for the multi-talented Kevin Eldon to only play just one (or technically two, but just one on-screen) role on Doctor Who. And because his series 11 appearance was under a faceful of prosthetics, it wouldn’t even cause any continuity errors for him to come back in the role of the Doctor. Or a companion. Or another alien. Whatever it is, just give us more Eldon please.

O-T Fagbenle

Played: ‘Other Dave’, an engineer on an expedition to The Library who was eaten by the Vashta Nerada but brought back to life in the computer core. Appeared in: Series 4 two-parter ‘Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead‘ Fagbenle has recently been seen as Natasha’s fixer in Black Widow, June’s husband Luke in The Handmaid’s Tale, and as the lead character in sitcom Maxxx, about a washed-up former boy band member. The man has dramatic and comedy range, a very good American accent (not necessarily relevant here) and excellent screen presence. He’d rock the role of the Doctor.

Siobhan Finneran

Played: 17th century landlady/witch prosecutor Becka Savage/Morax queen Appeared in: Series 11’s ‘The Witchfinders‘. If the new Doctor’s going to be a woman in her early fifties, then it should really go to Jo Martin, but if she’s busy, how great would Siobhan Finneran be? The Happy Valley and Downton Abbey actor’s a treat in everything. She can be equal parts funny and imperious, and you can easily imagine her running circles around alien fiends and having a load of fun doing it.

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Tamsin Grieg

Played: the Nurse who inserts Adam’s infospike on Satellite 5. Appeared in: Series 1 Simon Pegg-starring episode ‘The Long Game’, alongside Anna Maxwell-Martin (who might also deserve a place on this list come to think about it). Tamsin Grieg would make such a good Doctor it almost makes you angry she’s never played the role. She has the dramatic chops to deliver all the world-saving speeches, and the comedic skill to give it all a sparkling light touch. She was chilling in her small Series 1 role, but it only showed a tiny portion of what she can do. Also, wouldn’t she look great in a signature coat.

Suranne Jones

Played: Idris, into whom the ‘soul’ of the TARDIS was poured, making her the ship incarnate until her body died. Appeared in: Series 6 episode ‘The Doctor’s Wife‘, written by Neil Gaiman. Perhaps a bit too similar to Jodie Whittaker to be a likely successor, but you only have to see Suranne Jones in BBC/HBO drama Gentleman Jack to know that she’s made of Doctor material. As nineteenth-century landowner and famed lesbian Anne Lister, she’s cleverer and faster than everybody else, with a fierce sense of boundary-breaking why-not-ness, and plenty of emotion. Look at most of Jones’ roles, including that of the TARDIS itself, and she’d be great in the part, especially if her regular collaborator Sally Wainwright is enticed into the showrunner gig.

Paterson Joseph

Played: the venal Rodrick, who competed against Rose Tyler in The Weakest Link on the Game Station. Appeared in: Series 1 two-parter ‘Bad Wolf/The Parting of the Ways’. Paterson Joseph was famously up for the role of the Eleventh Doctor that ultimately went to Matt Smith, and has been a stalwart entry in ‘Who next?’ lists of this sort ever since, so… this isn’t going to happen, but wouldn’t it have been great if it had? The Peep Show, The Leftovers, Noughts + Crosses actor and Big Finish voice artist is currently showing off his commander chops in BBC One submarine thriller Vigil.

Ralf Little

Played: Steadfast, one of the few crew members of an off-world colony ship who weren’t murdered by nano-bots. Appeared in: Series 10 episode ‘Smile‘. He’s currently solving baroque murders on a fictional Caribbean island in Death in Paradise, but none of that lot ever last long, which could free Little up for another spin in the TARDIS. Little has been a familiar face on British TV for years, after playing feckless teenager Anthony on The Royle Family and starring in a BBC Three sitcom that spanned the entire noughties, but now a little older, with plenty of experience under his belt, it could be Ralf Little’s time.

Susan Lynch

Played: Pilot Angstrom, a competitor in an intergalactic race who meets Thirteen on her second ever adventure. Appeared in: Series 11 episode ‘The Ghost Monument’. You don’t need telling why Susan Lynch would make a great Doctor, just watch any decent British drama from the last decade and she’s in it, showing you. From Save Me to Unforgotten to Happy Valley to Killing Eve to any number of TV and film roles, she’s a scene-stealer who can play mystery, tragedy, power… everything the role calls for.

Daniel Mays

Played: Alex, the unwitting foster dad of a Tenza-in-human-form son, George. Appeared in: Series 6 episode ‘Night Terrors‘ written by Mark Gatiss. RADA-trained Danny Mays can do comedy, drama, has some serious dance moves, and was a Line of Duty guest star, so we know he’d have no problem at all learning the Doctor’s long speeches. If the TARDIS wanted to cast a Gallifreyan Doctor by way of Essex, he’d be top of the list.

T’Nia Miller

Played: The General, Military Commander of the Time Lords, in their Twelfth Regeneration. Appeared in: Series 9 finale ‘Hell Bent’. The Years & Years and Foundation star played a Time Lord in her Doctor Who debut and can even already tick ‘Regeneration’ off the to-do list. Miller clearly has the bearing and gravitas required of the Doctor, looks great even in impractically massive armour, and was the absolute stand-out in Netflix’s 2020 horror series The Haunting of Bly Manor. If they could work out the continuity for a reappearance, she’d rock the role.

Lucian Msamati

Played: Guido, the father of Isabella, a new enrolment at Rosanna Calvierri’s school for girls. Appeared in: Series 5 episode ‘The Vampires of Venice.’ Since appearing in this 2010 Doctor Who episode, Msamati has gone on to appear in major series, from Game of Thrones to Gangs of London and His Dark Materials. He’s an experienced stage actor too, who’d be sure to bring dramatic heft to the role of the Doctor.

Anjli Mohindra

Played: the Scorpion-like Queen of the Skithra, a species that relies on other species for their engineering. Appeared in: Series 12 episode ‘Nikola Tesla’s Night of Terror‘. Anjli Mohindra already has a long history with Doctor Who, having appeared under layers of prosthetics and make-up in Series 12, provided the voice of the Mechanoid Queen for animated Time Lord Victorious series Daleks!, and playing the recurring role of Rani Chandra from series two of The Sarah Jane Adventures. Would that preclude the Vigil and Bodyguard star from stepping behind the TARDIS console in the top role? Nah.

Sophie Okonedo

Played: Elizabeth X of The United Kingdom aka Liz 10 of Starship UK. Appeared in: Series 5 episodes ‘The Beast Below’ and ‘The Pandorica Opens’. One of our finest actors, Sophie Okonedo not only played the future queen opposite Matt Smith and Karen Gillan in Doctor Who, she was also the voice of the Shalka Doctor’s companion in the BBC’s ‘Scream of the Shalka’ animated webcast, way back when. She’s currently starring in Amazon’s Wheel of Time adaptation and voices the key role of angel Xaphania in His Dark Materials, so probably has too full a plate to step into the TARDIS, but casting her as the Doctor would be a no-brainer.

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Tom Riley

Played: Robin Hood. Appeared in: 2014 Series 8 episode written by Mark Gatiss ‘Robot of Sherwood’. Tom Riley played a legendary genius and multi-hyphenate over three seasons of Da Vinci’s Demons so taking on the role of the Doctor wouldn’t really be a stretch. The actor is currently playing Augie in HBO/Sky drama The Nevers, which started life as a Joss Whedon-created supernatural fantasy before the showrunner left the project after the first six episodes.

Danny Sapani

Played: Colonel Manton/Runaway (depending on your perspective). Appeared in: Series 6 episode ‘A Good Man Goes to War’. The River Song/Melody Pond revelation overshadowed much else that happened in ‘A Good Man Goes to War’, but nonetheless, seasoned Brit actor Danny Sapani made an impression as enemy of the Doctor, Colonel Manton, who conspired with Madame Kovarian to kidnap Amy and Rory’s baby. Sapani’s enjoying a long career on screen and stage, with stand-out TV roles in Penny Dreadful, Harlots and Killing Eve, as well as the upcoming part of Captain Jacob Keyes in video game adaptation Halo.

Amit Shah

Played: Rahul, brother to missing person Asha Chandra, both victims of Tzim-Sha. Appeared in: The Series 11 opener ‘The Woman Who Fell to Earth‘. A skilled comedic actor who has a habit of stealing scenes, even in serious supporting roles like this one, or last year’s turn as a doctor experimenting on children in His Dark Materials, Amit Shah would be a great surprise to find in the TARDIS. Experienced but not yet a household name, there’s a Matt Smith vibe about this one. Revive him as a companion, at the very least?

Peter Serafinowicz

Played: the voice of alien warlord The Fisher King (though the character’s screams were provided by Slipknot front man Corey Taylor). Appeared in: Series 9 episode ‘Before the Flood‘. Likely not the photo of Peter Serafinowicz his Nan keeps on the mantelpiece, this is the villain he voiced in a Series 9 two-parter. It’s Serafinowicz out of the make-up and prosthetics though, who’d make an intriguing prospect as the Doctor. Great voice(s), great face, serious presence, humour, loads of experience… what else do you need?

Nina Sosanya

Played: Trish Webber, mother of Chloe Webber, the little girl endowed with the psychic powers of an Isolus. (And in Big Finish audio adventure ‘Aquitaine’ Captain Maynard’). Appeared in: Series 2 Olympics episode ‘Fear Her‘. A regular RTD collaborator, with previous roles in Casanova and Wizards Vs Aliens as well as Doctor Who, Nina Sosanya is a joy to see in any cast, which must be why she’s (thankfully) in everything. She’s great in comedy (Good Omens, WIA, Staged, Nathan Barley) and in drama (Last Tango in Halifax, Killing Eve, His Dark Materials, Little Birds) and would no doubt make a very convincing centuries-old two-hearted big-brained Time Lord. Get her a statement coat and get her in the TARDIS.

Meera Syal

Played: Dr Nasreen Chaudhry, the scientist in charge of an ill-fated deep drilling mission in a Welsh village. (As well as voicing audio stories and audiobook Borrowed Time). Appeared in: Series 5 two-parter ‘The Hungry Earth’ and ‘Cold Blood‘. Actor-writer-comedian Meera Syal, CBE, had a fair crack of the whip in Series 5 Silurian two-parter, but would always, always be welcome back for more. As well as comedic talent, she has the dramatic presence, brains and stature to play the Doctor. Her husband Sanjeev Bhaskar (see above) will just have to fight her for the role.

Joivan Wade

Played: Bristol graffiti artist Christopher Riggens aka Rigsy. Appeared in: Series 8’s ‘Flatline’ and Series 9’s ‘Face the Raven‘. Joivan Wade is currently starring as Victor Stone in Doom Patrol for the MCU, so it may be a while before he returns to the UK, but his two appearances in Doctor Who proved him to be a charismatic talent who’d energise the TARDIS if welcomed back.

Harriet Walter

Played: British Technology Secretary and later, Prime Minister Jo Patterson. Appeared in: Series 12’s ‘Revolution of the Daleks‘ (as well as voicing the role of Beatrice in audio story ‘The Boy That Time Forgot’). Having a Dame in the TARDIS would be quite something; that Dame being Harriet Walter would be off the charts brilliant. Just look at her – the face, the voice, the hard-to-define quality that means the moment she opens her mouth, everybody shuts up and listens. Harriet Walter, stage and screen star of Killing Eve, Succession, The Crown, Downton Abbey and so much more, would make a very fine Doctor indeed.

Marc Warren

Played: Elton Pope, co-founder member of LINDA, a group of humans who meet to swap stories on their encounters with the Doctor. Appeared in: Little-loved Series 2 episode ‘Love & Monsters‘. A very familiar face on British screens, with regular roles in hits including Hustle, Mad Dogs, The Good Wife and The Musketeers, there’s always been something about Marc Warren that makes you think he’d make a really great alien. See him as The Gentleman in Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell, or Mr Teatime in The Hogfather, and you’ll agree. Top Doctor potential.

Gemma Whelan

Played: the voice of loads of characters for Big Finish audio adventures, but never (yet) on screen. Appeared in: ‘Ninth Doctor Adventures’, ‘Dalek Universe’, ‘Counter-Measures’ and more. Always a treat wherever you find her on screen, actor-comedian Gemma Whelan is best recognised as warrior leader of the Iron Islands, Yara Greyjoy in Game of Thrones but she’s been great in Killing Eve, Gentleman Jack, Upstart Crow, The End of the F***ing World, and recently, a killer episode of Inside No. 9. If Doctor Who is looking for another late-thirties Yorkshire lass to take on the Doctor’s mantle in future, go Whelan or go home.

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Doctor Who Series 13 will air on BBC One and BBC America this autumn.

The post Doctor Who: Previous Guest Stars Who’d Be Great as the New Doctor appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[harudyne3013]

Diversity and Perspective in Horror

Survival horror is one of my favorite genres of video games, and the contrast between my top two is a great example of the diversity and possibilities of horror. Some of my favorite parts about horror games are the persistent tension and feelings of unease. Combined with the need to explore in many horror games, this atmosphere leads to a pervasive discomfort. You don’t want to go down that dark hallway full of creepy noises, but you have to if you’re going to progress the game or find much needed resources. This is why resource management is key for horror games to me--games where your only option is to run away or avoid the enemies can be scary, but decision making defines the horror genre. The split second decisions between fight or flight are even more compelling when every fight has the potential to make the next fights harder, draining your ammo or other resources. Environmental puzzles are also a core element of many horror games, and I’m a fan. While they’re often fairly simple (take this key item and figure out where it goes), they are still clever and fun to solve.

It shouldn’t be surprising that my two favorite horror games are Resident Evil Remake and Silent Hill 3. Both have excellent environments, atmosphere, tension, and horror elements on top of great puzzles (especially SH3). But while I love both games, my experience with each was surprisingly different.

RE1 was my first proper survival horror game, and I fell in love with the series immediately. The fixed camera angles and constant need for resource management got me sucked into the game’s environments, exploring every corner. Choices of how to spend or save resources were overwhelming sometimes, and I remember plenty of tense situations where I didn’t know if I could make it to the safe room alive or not. Its atmosphere still gets me after finishing the game dozens of times--the game is surprisingly gorgeous considering it came out in 2002.

In RE1, the fear is primarily isolated within the game. The enemies and antagonists aren’t that scary outside of what they can do to you in the moment, and a lot of the tension revolves around dying or losing progress. Resource management is key to RE1 to the point where something as simple as saving your game costs a resource. Whether ink ribbons add anything to the game depends on the player, but I love the decisions they force. Do you push forward and try to get to the next safe room, or do you use an ink ribbon now? You’ll lose your progress if you die, but more greedy players will want to save the resource. This dilemma falls apart on subsequent playthroughs or for skilled players, but it’s unique enough on a first run that I don’t mind its inclusion.

The puzzles in RE1 are also fun, although most of them are figuring out which key item goes into which slot. Still, there are some standouts that I love like the V-JOLT formula. RE1′s puzzles are definitely iconic if nothing else, and there’s no doubt that they influenced the horror genre as a whole.

My experience with Silent Hill 3 was different. I played SH3 when I was more experienced with the horror genre. Because of its unlimited inventory space and emphasis on avoiding combat, SH3 doesn’t involve the same degree of resource management as RE1. Saving is also free, and the PC version allows saves almost anywhere. Resources are a smaller concern, and it’s rare for you to lose significant progress when you die. That doesn’t mean the game isn’t scary though--the horror in Silent Hill is more persistent and psychological, extending outside the game itself. While RE1 makes you afraid of dying or losing progress, SH3 is much more subtle and chilling in a lot of ways. Of course, its monsters are still scary. But the scariest part of SH3 for me was a simple line of dialogue from a side character: “Monsters? They looked like monsters to you?”

SH3 has great puzzles too. It keeps the classic key items, but it also includes a variable riddle difficulty to set the intensity of puzzles. Some of these riddles are genuinely challenging and take time to solve, and I love them. The first major riddle on hard puzzle difficulty requires background knowledge of some of Shakespeare’s plays, for example. They can be surprisingly complex, and solving them is satisfying. 

SH3′s fear is also much more potent for me personally in that it’s a lot more relatable. While an extravagant zombie infested mansion would be terrifying in real life, I haven’t experienced anything like it. But many of Silent Hill’s environments are twisted versions of everyday locations that play off of real fears and anxieties. This is especially true from a woman’s perspective. Walking through an empty, silent street at night unsure if something might attack you from the shadows is a very real fear. A lot of the scariest rooms in SH3 are the empty ones, completely quiet outside of the sound of Heather’s footsteps. Other fears SH3 touches on are heights, mirrors, blood, stalkers, losing one’s identity, and the violation of one’s body. The horror in SH3 is uniquely real, and its protagonist does a lot to realize these fears.

Jill Valentine and Heather Mason are two of my favorite video game characters, but there are some big differences between the two. As a member of S.T.A.R.S., Jill is portrayed as strong and capable. Even though Jill is in over her head, she remains calm (for the most part) and the horror in RE1 is not specific to her. The themes of RE1 and its horror could apply equally to any character. You see this in RE1 itself with the ability to play roughly the same story as Chris. None of the themes change, and the horror is still equally effective--the biggest difference is which character the player relates more to.

Heather is different. She is a lonely, vulnerable teenage girl, and all of the horror in SH3 is uniquely tailored for her perspective. You could not replace Heather with another character in the same way that you can replace Jill with Chris. So much of the horror in SH3 is aimed towards women, like Heather’s stalker and her anxiety towards men, bodily violation, and birth. Her fear of mirrors and her dialogue throughout the game humanize her and make her relatable. Heather isn’t some super capable S.T.A.R.S. officer, she’s a normal girl. That’s why her story is so compelling--she is scared and vulnerable, but fiercely independent, resilient, and persistent. Heather is my favorite video game character because of how human she is and how much I relate to her. 

Resident Evil and Silent Hill are the two greatest horror series in my mind, and I love how each approaches horror differently. Heather Mason and the more relatable and psychological horror of Silent Hill 3 elevates it to my favorite game of the genre, but I’ll always love Jill for introducing me to the genre. Fans of horror have probably played both games already, but I would strongly encourage you to check them out if you haven’t.

Stay positive, haru

[geniejackman]

Recasting Twilight

Okay everyone, buckle yourselves in. It’s quarantine and I have absolutely nothing better to do, so here we are! I decided to re-read Twilight for the first time in years, and it got me thinking about who could potentially be cast in the various roles if the book were remade as a film/mini-series today! (well, you know, not TODAY today, because corona). 

Just a disclaimer- I won’t be casting any of the Forks High Students or the Volturi guard as I believe those should be opportunities for unknown actors. Same goes for Jacob and the Quileutes. Those roles should absolutely go to actors of Native American ancestry.

Please keep in mind that these are just my opinions, I’m in no way trying to infer that the original cast is bad. This is just something that I’ve been toying with in order to keep myself entertained, and for the general amusement of the 3 of you that follow me. I’ll continue on with the other books in separate posts if I feel like I have it in me after finishing this one up. Here we go! 

Bella Swan - Anya Taylor-Joy

I’ve been fascinated by her ever since the one-two punch of The Witch and Split. She definitely has the capacity to get across the emotions of the character through facial expressions alone. She also has an understated beauty and charm that just seems very Bella.

Edward Cullen - KJ Apa

It’s all about the jawline baby...

Oh, okay, I guess I should actually list a few legitimate reasons.

Edward is described as having bronze colored hair in the book, which KJ definitely pulls off better than any real human should be able to. He’s also got the tense, sometimes overly-serious attitude of Edward down, while still having a killer smile and a great sense of humor.

Alice Cullen - Lana Condor

I know what you’re thinking, an Asian Alice?

Hear me out: Alice is petite, quirky, and full of energy and fun. Lana Condor fits that description to a T. She’s also dazzling, and would look great with the pixie hairdo. Also, like, all the Cullen kids are adopted, and the entire town of Forks knows they’re adopted, so there’s no need to make them all defacto white just because the parents are. Plus, look at her! She’s so darn cute! But she could also play the scenes where she needs to be scary and intimidating very well.

Rosalie Cullen - Dianna Agron

I know I’m about to fully out myself as a Glee stan (seasons 1-3 anyway), but Dianna has always been what comes to my mind when I think of breathtaking blondes. Rosalie is described in the books as the most beautiful person Bella has ever seen, almost too perfect. Diana is definitely that. She can play the mean girl, but she can also be snarky and bad-ass. She’s a little older than the rest of the cast playing the teens, but have you seen pics of her lately? The woman never ages. Almost like she’s a real vam... no... it couldn’t be...

Emmett Cullen - Noah Centineo

So I know Emmett isn’t a HUGE role, and Noah is a pretty big Hollywood heart-throb these days, but maybe he wouldn’t mind having a smaller role in what would definitely be a big-budget film/series. He’s a cutie and handsome as hell, but he’s also playful and tough like Emmett. I’m sure he’d also have a lot of fun in the fight scenes.

Jasper Cullen - Dacre Montgomery

After Stranger Things, I’m sure we’re all eager to see Dacre take on more high-profile roles. I think he could do a lot with Jasper both in the early films when he’s supposed to be slightly more demure and apart from the others, and then later when his leadership skills are called on. Plus, he and Lana would be adorable!!!

Carlisle Cullen - Matthew Goode

I’m taking a slightly different approach from the films with the casting for the parents from the original film, we’re going younger with Carlisle and Esme this time around in order to stay more accurate to the source material. In the books, Carlisle was 23 when you was changed, so if you think about it Matthew Goode is actually pretty old for the part (42). However, he can definitely appear younger than he is, all while giving the feeling that he’s lived hundreds of years. Plus, this is the guy that’s supposedly even more handsome than Edward, and Matthew definitely has the looks and the charm to pull that off. 

Esme Cullen - Michelle Cockery 

Esme is described by Bella as having a heart-shaped face with Silent Movie Star looks. Michelle literally looks like she’s stepped off an Old Hollywood set, and she’s so classically beautiful. Also, it would be interesting seeing her play a sweeter, kinder figure than we’re used to seeing on Downton Abbey. She has well-established chemistry with Matthew Goode from working with him on Downton, so they’d be very believable as the Cullens Mom & Dad. 

Charlie Swan - Dylan McDermott 

Yes, it’s the “20 Dollars? What do you need 10 Dollars for?” dad from Perks of Being a Wallflower. Dylan has experience playing dads, but he’s also played romantic figures, so you can see what would make 18-year-old Renee leave the big city. 

Renee - Melanie Lynskey 

Not only does Melanie really look like Anya, but she also NEVER. AGES. So she definitely can pull off the young-mom look. She’s also got this naive sweetness in all the characters she plays that is perfect for Renee. 

James - Jonathan Groff

Okay, I know what you’re thinking. Not my sweet innocent Groffsauce, not my happy-go-lucky King George/Kristoff/Jesse St. James. Hear me out though- despite the ‘nice’ characters he plays, I feel like there’s a dark side to Jonathan that would be perfect for James. Also, aside from some snarls and dirty looks when the bad guys first meet the Cullens in the baseball field, James isn’t all that outlandishly evil. Bella notes that his voice is fairly ordinary, almost soothing. Jonathan definitely has that, and he’d have a lot of fun with the snarky lines and the ironic nature of the character. 

Victoria - Mary Kate Wiles

Mary Kate is more of an Indie Actress, but I think she would bring something really unique to this big-budget-extravaganza. She can play seductive, sassy, and high-energy in the baseball field scene, and then she can transform into the vengeful, focused, crazed-killer in the later portions. Plus, it’s about time MK got some high-profile roles! 

Laurent - Louis Garrel 

Just what we need to finish off this first post, a seductive Frenchmen! Louis has the perfect look and a great accent for Laurent, and I think he would be amazing in the scene with Bella in ‘New Moon’. Honestly, after ‘Little Women’, I just need to see more of him in main-stream Hollywood. 

That’s all for now! Like I said, we’ll see if I can work up the energy to cast ‘New Moon’, ‘Eclipse’, and ‘Breaking Dawn’! Let me know what you think of my choices. Who’s your dream cast?? 

[erictmason]

The Road To “Godzilla VS. Kong”, Day Four

(Sorry for the delay on this one, Life proved just a bit too busy the other day to finish it; my “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” review is gonna be pushed back as a result too.  But!  No worries, on we go. ^_^)

KONG: SKULL ISLAND (2017

Director: Jordan Vogt-Roberts

Writers: Dan Gilroy, Max Borenstein, Derek Connolly, John Gatins

Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Tom Hiddleston, Brie Larson, John Goodman, John C. Reilly

Technically speaking, Gareth Edwards’ “Godzila” from 2014 was the first entry in what is now generally referred to as “The Monsterverse”, an attempt by Warner Bros. Studios and Legendary Pictures to do a Marvel Studios-style series of various interconnected movies (and which, like most such attempts to cash in on that particular trend, hasn’t really panned out; “Godzilla VS. Kong” seems likely to be its grand finale as far as movies are concerned, the only two “names” it had going for it are Godzilla and Kong themselves, and even at its most successful it was never exactly a Powerhouse Franchise).  But the thing is, when that movie was made, the idea of a “Monsterverse” did not yet exist; it was only well after the fact that Legendary and Warner Bros. got the idea to turn a new “Kong” project into the building block of a Shared Universe of their own that they could connect with the 2014 “Godzilla”, with a clear eye on getting to remake one of the most singularly iconic (and profitable) Giant Monster Movies of all time.  As you might guess from that description, however, said “Kong” project also had not originally been intended for such a purpose; it would not be until 2016 that it would be retooled from its original purpose (a prequel to the original “King Kong” titled simply “Skull Island”) into its present form, which goes out of its way to reference Monarch, the monster-tracking Science organization seen over in 2014’s “Godzilla” and which includes a very obviously Marvel-inspired post-credits stinger explicitly tying Kong and Godzilla’s existences together.  

The resulting film is fun enough, all things told, but that graft is also really, distractingly obvious.

Honestly, I wish I knew why I’m not, generally, fonder of “Skull Island” than I am.  It’s not as if, taken as a whole, it does anything especially bad; indeed it does a great deal that is actively good.  Consider, for example, the rather unique choice to make it a Period Piece; that’s decently rare for a Monster Movie as it is (indeed one of the only other examples that springs to mind for me is Peter Jackson’s 2005 remake of “King Kong”, which chose to retain the original’s 1933 setting), and it’s rarer still that the era it chooses to inhabit is an immediately-post-Vietnam 1970’s.  Aesthetically speaking, the movie takes a decent amount of fairly-obvious influence from that most classic of Vietnam-era films, “Apocalypse Now” (a fact that director Jordan Vogt-Roberts was always fairly open about), and it results in some of the movie’s strongest overall imagery (in particular a shot of Kong, cast in stark silhouette, standing against the burning sun on the horizon with a fleet of helicopters approaching him, one of a surprisingly small number of times the movie plays with visual scale to quite the same degree or with quite the same success as “Godzilla” 2014).  It also means the movie is decked out in warm, lush colors that really do bring out all the personality of its Jungle setting in the most compelling way and, given how important the setting is to the film as a whole, that proves key; Skull Island maybe doesn’t become a character in its own right the way the best settings should (too much of our time is spent in fairly indistinct forests especially), but it does manage to feel exciting and unusual in the right ways more often than not.  The “Apocalypse Now” influence also extends to our human cast,  which is sizeable enough here (in terms of major characters we need  to pay attention to played by notable actors, “Skull Island” dwarfs “Godzilla” 2014 by a significant margin) that the framework it provides-a mismatched group defined by various interpersonal/intergenerational tensions trying to make their way through an inhospitable wilderness, ostensibly in search of a lost comrade-is decently necessary.  Though here we already run into one of those aspects of “Skull Island” that doesn’t quite land for me.  Taken as a whole, it sure feels like the human characters here should be decently interesting; certainly, our leads are all much better defined and more engagingly performed than Ford Brody, to draw the most immediately obvious point of comparison.  Brie Larson (as journalistic Anti-War photographer Mason Weaver), Tom Hiddleston (as former British Army officer turned Gun For Hire James Conrad), and John C. Reilly (as Hank Marlow, a World War II soldier stranded on Skull Island years ago) definitely turn in decently strong performances; I wouldn’t call it Career Best work for any of them (Hiddleston especially feels like he’s on auto-pilot half the time, while Larson has to struggle mightily against how little the script actually gives her to work with when you stop and look at it) but they at least prove decently enjoyable to watch (Reilly especially does a solid job of making his character funny without quite pushing him over the edge into Total Cartoon Territory).  I likewise feel like Samuel L. Jackson’s Preston Packard has the potential to be a genuinely-great character; his lingering resentment at the way the Vietnam War played out and the way that feeds into his determination to find and defeat Kong is, again, a clever and compelling use of the 70’s period setting, it gives us a good, believable motivation with a clear and strong Arc to it, and Jackson does a really solid job of playing his Anger as genuine and poignant rather than simply petulant or crazed.  But there’s just too much chaff amongst the wheat, too much time and energy devoted to characters and ideas that don’t have any real pay-off.  This feels especially true of John Goodman’s Bill Randa, the Monarch scientist who arranges the whole expedition; the Monarch stuff in general mostly feels out of place, but Randa in particular gets all of these little notes and beats that seem meant to go somewhere and then just kind of don’t.  Which is kind of what happens with most of the characters in the movie, is the thing; we spend a lot of screen-time dwelling on certain aspects of their backstories or personalities, and then those things effectively stop mattering at all after a certain point, even Packard’s motivations.  A Weak Human Element was one of the problems in “Godzilla” 2014 as well, though, and you’ll recall I quite liked that movie.  There, though, the human stuff was honestly only ever important for how it fed into the monster stuff; it was the connective tissue meant to get us from sequence to sequence and not much more.  Here, though, it forms the heart and soul of the story, and that means its deficiencies feel a lot more harmful to the whole.

Still, those deficiencies really aren’t that severe, and moreover, like I was saying before, there’s a lot about “Skull Island” to actively enjoy.  The Monsters themselves do remain the central draw, after all, and for the most part the movie does a solid job with that aspect of things.  It does not, perhaps, recreate “Godzilla” 2014’s attempt to make believable animals out of them (even as it does design most of them with even more obvious, overt Real World Animal elements), but there is a certain playful energy that informs them at a conceptual level that I appreciate.  Buffalos with horns that look like giant logs with huge strands of moss and grass hanging off their edges, spiders whose legs are adapted to look like tree trunks, stick bugs so big that their camouflage makes them look like fallen trees…the designs feel physically plausible (especially thanks to some strong effects work that makes them feel well inserted into the real environments), but there’s a slightly-humorous tilt to a lot of them that I appreciate, especially since it never outright winks at the audience in a way that would undercut the stakes of the story. Kong too is very well done; rather than the heavily realistic approach taken by the Peter Jackson version from 2005, this Kong is instead very much ape-like but also very clearly his own creature (in particular he stands fully erect most of the time), with a strong sense of Personality to him as well; some of the best parts of the movie are those times where we simply peek in on Kong simply living his life, even when that life is one that is, by nature, violent and dangerous.  Less successful, sadly, are his nemeses, the Skullcrawlers; very much like “Godzilla” 2014, Kong is here envisioned as a Natural Protection against a potentially-dangerous species that threatens humanity (or in this case the Iwi Tribe who live on Skull Island, but we’ll talk more about them later), and while they’re hardly bad designs (the way their snake-like lower bodies give them a lot of neat tricks to play against their enemies in battle are genuinely fun in the right sort of Scary Way), they’re also pretty bland and forgettable, even compared to the MUTOS.  That said, they serve their purpose well enough, and their big Action Scene showdowns with Kong are genuinely solid.  Indeed, the movie’s big climactic brawl between Kong and the biggest of the Skullcrawlers has a lot of good pulpy energy to it (particularly with how Kong winds up using various tools picked up from all around the battlefield to give himself an edge), likewise there’s a certain Wild Fun to the sequence where our hapless humans have to try and survive a trek through the Crawlers’ home-turf.

Where things get a bit tricky again is when the movie attempts to put its own spin on “Godzilla”’s conception of its monsters as part of their own kind of unique ancient eco-system. The sense of Grandeur that gave a lot of that aspect such weight there is mostly absent here, especially; there are instances where some of that feeling comes through (Kong’s interactions with some of the non-Crawler species, for example, do a good job giving us an endearing sense of how Kong fits into this world), but far more often it treats the monsters as Big Set-Piece Attractions.  Which is fine as far as it goes, it just also means a lot of them aren’t as memorable or impactful as I might like.  Meanwhile, the way the Iwis have built their home to accommodate, interact with, and protect themselves from the island’s bestiary feels like a well-designed concept that manages to suggest a lot of History without having to spell it out for us in a way that I appreciated (I would also be inclined to apply this to the very neat multi-layered stone-art used to portray Kong and the Crawlers except that the sequence where we see them is the most overt “let’s stop and do some world-building” exposition dump in the whole movie).  But the Iwis in general are one of the more difficult elements of the movie to process, too; it seems really clear there was a deliberate effort here to avoid the most grossly racist stuff that has been present in prior attempts to portray the Natives of Skull Island, and as far as it goes I do think those efforts bear some fruit; we are, at the very least, very far away from the Scary Ooga-Booga tone of, say, “King Kong VS. Godzilla”, and that feels like it counts for something.  I just also feel like there’s some dehumanizing touches to their portrayal (in particular they never speak; I don’t mean to imply that Not Speaking equals Inhuman, but the fact that we are not made privy to how exactly they do communicate means we’re very much kept at arm’s length from them in a way that seems at least somewhat meant to alienate us from them), especially given their role in the story as a whole is relatively minor.  

At the end of the day, though, all the movie’s elements, good and bad, don’t really feel like they add up together coherently enough to make an impact.  And I think if I had to try and guess why, even as I find it wholly enjoyable with a lot to genuinely recommend it by, I don’t find myself especially enamored by “Skull Island”.  It has a lot of different ideas of how to approach its story-70’s pastiche, worldbuilding exercise, Monster Mash-but doesn’t seem to quite succeed at realizing any of them fully, indeed often allowing them to get in each other’s ways.  It isn’t, again, a bad movie as a result of that; there really isn’t any stretch of it where I found myself bored or particularly unentertained.  But I did paradoxically find myself frequently wanting more, even as by rights the movie delivers on basically what I was looking for from it.   

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Good morning! Whats your favorite show/movie? Who are your favorite characters? Why do you like them so much? Also!! Did you have a good sleep?

Okay so I was a film major for a while, and I have opinions. 

Penny Dreadful 

I love this show. Like, so much. I adore it. I can not get enough of that show. Just all of the imagery, and the fantastic writing and acting. The episode intro alone is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. Eva Green is a goddess and I love everything she’s been in. The take on classic horror stories is So Good, and it actually became the inspiration for my Gay Frankenstein story! (Started as a stitch AU, and then went completely OC after I had Ideas) but the show itself is so intimate? I think it’s largely that the period they’re in, everything was so repressed and restricted. So when the characters break out of those moments, it’s more meaningful. And the love-hate relationship between Ms. Ives and Malcolm in season one? Exquisite.  I could literally write essay’s about this show, but I’ll restrain myself and just say: it’s the best ensemble show I’ve ever seen. The characters come together, but they also each have their own distinct lives that sometimes intersect, but in s2 especially, are quite separate. They are constant with one another like ensemble shows usually portray. Also gothic horror and romance? My absolute favorite. 

Anything by Guillermo del Toro

This man Owns My Entire Soul. I’m not even joking, everything he writes and directs is perfection. Crimson Peak is probably my favorite (I have a stitch AU for this too ;) ) because again, Gothic horror and romance. I’m a slut for that shit. Also Tom Hiddleston and Jessica Chastain? Delightful casting. I think it’s obvious by now that I love tragic relationships, so their dynamic is *chef’s kiss* amazing. they’re so damaged. And this quote right here is one of the BEST things I’ve ever read: 

“But the horror... The horror was for love. The things we do for love like this are ugly, mad, full of sweat and regret. This love burns you and maims you and twists you inside out. It is a monstrous love and it makes monsters of us all.”

Engrave that on my headstone, please?? I’ve got a sort-of Dorian Gray AU (it’s delightful) that’s basically built on this entire premise. Mitch makes the mistake of falling in love with Stiles, and does many terrible things because of it. Mostly to himself, at least. 

I think my love of Crimson Peak is very closely tied with The Shape of Water. another beautiful movie, I could wax poetic about this forever. it was beautifully written, and such an artistic movie. I love the way it was filmed, and the set design, and all of the subtle imagery. Such as Elisa’s apartment being cast in cooler tones, it always felt very damp and had evidence of water damage, compared to Giles’, a mirror image of her own, in more warm tones. This is another one I could (and have) write essays about. There is so much packed into this movie, from the themes on toxic masculinity and entitlement, to the conversation on queerness and race and disability, and how all the various relationships are portrayed. Like. there is so much to pick apart in this movie. 

Aside from that, ofc Hell Boy deserves an honorable mention because i grew up on those movies. I’m pretty sure the Golden Army especially is responsible for who I am today, given all the lore on the fae in that universe. Wow, that explains so much about me... Also one of my first WoW characters was an elf named Nuala xD I still have her, too, and it’s been like 12 years lol

Near-Future Sci-Fi

Sci-fi is one of my favorite genres, I am a huge nerd for theoretical and astrophysics. But my favorite kind of sci-fi is the stuff that still takes place on Earth, rather than epic battles in space. Ex Machina and Annihilation are at the top of that list. Alex Garland is another writer/director that I love. He has the same kind of approach as del Toro, where he puts a lot of fine details into his work. And I love that it’s very cerebral; there are so many layers to Ex Machina. My English 101 prof actually refused to analyze it in class when I suggested it to him, because he didn’t think my class could. Basically handle? Dissecting that movie? Because a lot of it comes across as very surface level, but in some cases when you look deeper, it’s actually suggesting the opposite of what you might think at first glance. (And he was right, my fellow students were awful. I miss that class though, it was one of my favorites T_T Mr. Ryder was an awesome dude and super chill.) 

Morgan is another good example. As you can see, I fucking love androids lol. Which brings me to another of my all time favorite movies: Cloud Atlas. I could literally watch this movie endlessly, I love it so much. The acting, the writing, the filming, all of it is top notch. And one thing they did in the movie that didn’t come across in the book, was reusing the same actors through the different eras in the book. That was just so neat, because it really encapsulates how connected these souls are, as we follow the threads of their story throughout time. If you haven’t seen the movie, I can’t recommend it enough.  

Another one I always think of alongside Cloud Atlas, even though they aren’t related at all, is Predestination. It’s a great movie that explores the idea of fate and free will in a really clever way, utilizes time travel in a very organized way that I think was neat (think Umbrella Academy. They even use briefcases! As you can see, I love sci-fi bureaucracy, it’s fun. In fact The Bureau is another movie I enjoyed) and the main character is actually, explicitly trans, which was cool. You basically get to see the entire story of their life, and I don’t want to spoil anything, but it’s just. So good. Mindfuckery galore. 

Shoot, and I almost forgot! Arrival! That is one of the best movies, and another one I could watch nonstop. It focuses on mathematics and linguistics and I swear to god, I almost altered my entire college course because of this movie. Amy Addams is brilliant, Jeremy Renner is so soft and nerdy, and again, it has an amazing take on time travel. I am very particular about how time is handled in Sci-fi, and this portrayal was one of my favorite. (Most of my physics studies have been dedicated to the theory of time, so like. Strong Opinions.) 

Fantasy

Stardust! It wasn’t until Good Omens can out that I realized Neil Gaiman is responsible for most of the stories I loved as a kid lol, and I had no idea he wrote stardust! But that is such a beautiful movie (I have a Stardust AU lol) and it’s definitely one of my comfort movies. Captain Shakespeare is one of the best characters ever, bless Robert de Niro. I would die for him. Fun fact, i had no idea Ipswitch was a real place until like. 2019. I 100% thought it was made up for the movie 😂

Alongside Stardust, I’ve always loved The Golden Compass. It’s fantasy, but also with that old-timey steampunk science feel, which is so fun and surprisingly difficult to find! 

Mortal Engines also has the same kind of feel, and it was such an epic movie in every sense of the word. I’m a little sad that after all the work that went into it, it didn’t get a dedicated following or fan base, because I feel there’s so much potential in it. But at the same time, fandom tends to gather around media that has plenty of flaws for us to repair with gold, and there wasn’t much room for that in Mortal Engines. 

I’m going to put Jupiter Ascending here even though it technically fits with the sci-fi, because that section is long as fuck and also this movie has such a fantastic feel. Mila Kunis? beautiful. The CGI? beautiful. Eddy Redmayne? One of the best villain portrayals i’ve ever seen. The whole oedipal vibe he had was immaculate, as was their portrayal of reincarnation, and just. The world building. GOD. I get so weak for through world building. Also the fkn intergalactic bureaucracy when they’re basically at the space DMV? One of my all time favorite scenes in movie history. 

Horror

I have very little room in my life for horror. As I said, I have strong movie opinions, especially when it comes to horror movies. I don’t like how most of them rely on cheap jump scares and overused gore and gratuitous rape scenes, instead of, y'know, actual good writing. 

Which is EXACTLY why I adore It: Chapter 1 & 2. It has none of those things, but still manages to be so terrifying. They are my favorite horror movies, and I’m saying this as someone who has genuine childhood trauma bc of the novel. Like. I couldn’t shower/take baths alone until I was almost 10 T_T When I was 6-7 and saw kids play by storm drains, I would run over screaming about how Pennywise was going to get them. Like, I had issues man. I was terrified to see the first one, and wouldn’t go until I could go with my best friend after she had already seen it, so she could warn me when something scary was about to happen 😂

And, one of my favorite aspects of the movie, and the thing that gave me Mad Respect for Any Muschietti? The way he filmed Bev and her father. They have a character who is literally being molested, but they never once have to show it. And yet their interactions are still so viscerally upsetting to watch. Sexploitation puts me off of most horror, and the fact that Muschietti doesn’t use it here, even when it would be actually somewhat justified? *chef’s kiss*. I love him. 

I love horror as a concept, I’m just really picky about it because I expect the writing to be good. I don’t like short cuts. But in a lot of cases, even if I don’t enjoy the movie itself, I love to watch analysis videos on youtube! I love to see the philosophy and symbolism in different horror movies, even if i don’t like to watch the movies themselves. It’s a fun hobby. 

Misc. 

Then in general, some other stuff I love in no particular order:

The Internship (Bless Dylan, Stuart is such a bitch and I love him) 

American Assassin (ofc. The writing itself is eh, but Mitch is my man) 

Dylan’s episode of Weird City. (I actually have a lot of feelings about this one. Jordan Peele is another amazing writer/director, I really need to catch up on his works.) 

Dorian Gray (*chef’s kiss*)

Rogue One (Makes me cry every time) 

WARCRAFT (Obviously this is a fav. It made me so happy, words cannot express.) 

Coraline and most other stop motion animation. I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for that. 

Literally anything associated with Tim Burton. Fun fact, when I was 12 and in middle school, I planned to decorate my future house inspired by tim burton. Like, i had Plans. 

Most adaptations of Alice in Wonderland!

So! this got long as fuck! But you said you like that kind of thing lol 😂 I had kinda Eh sleep since I was up so late lmao, and I kept waking up (as usual, rip). And I’m so mad I go up for nothing! The dude I was supposed to show my listing to never showed, and is refusing to answer my calls >_> It’s been 2 hours now, and I still haven’t heard from him. But whatever, I already have a full price cash offer on the house so who cares. And that means I can play WoW all day, now! 

[dressupdressshopp]

Fishing I Love A Good Pole Dance Vintage T Shirt

RESTROOM SHE DOES I DO NOT TRUST A Fishing I Love A Good Pole Dance Vintage T Shirt POLITICIAN WITHOUT CHILDREN WHAT’S YOUR TAKE ON THAT I DON’T KNOW MAYBE MAYBE TO USE HARRIS’S OWN WORDS MAYBE SHE WAS BETWEEN THE AGES OF 18 AND 24 MAYBE SHE DID SOME DUMB THINGS THAT MAY OR START STERILE STERILE YOU FROM YOU IS THAT DUMB THINGS ALL THEY SAID OH NO THEY SELL THEIR EGGS IN ALL THEY SELL MONEY YOU GET WHEN WHO KNEW THAT THE YOUNG YES I SO SOMETIMES THEY DO SOME DUMB THINGS I DON’T KNOW I DON’T KNOW I HAVE WHY SHE NEVER HAD ANY CHILDREN SHE’S PROBABLY STERILE SOMETIMES A WOMAN MAY NOT BE STERILE SOMETIMES THEY SIMPLY DON’T WANT CHILDREN SOMETIMES YOU HAVE WOMEN WEAR SOME STERILIZE THEM AND IT WAS NOT THEIR DESIRE TO BE STERILIZE YET IS YOU THAT BLACK WOMEN IN AMERICA NOT JUST AMERICA BUT THEY BEEN STERILIZE HYSTERECTOMIES WHERE THAT THE UNIVERSE IS REMOVED SO HARRIS A STORY I DON’T KNOW BUT YOU ALSO NOT REALIZED THAT MICHELLE OBAMA HER TWO DAUGHTERS WERE BORN OF SURROGATE MOTHER SURROGATE MOTHER SO I DON’T KNOW THE WHOLE STARTING MAN OKAY SO AND. 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taking notes of my of those scary first couple days but got comfortable with that he was just as great you really changed much around the song line but it was good that somebody can fit throwing ideas can blend almost like what other bands do refining is a no signing they want a lot of things I regret like a year later Lindsay like the last couple years just to open up your mind to different things got to go with what feels like you can’t worry about what you said four years ago in an interview in Langley look at things differentlyand get olderand obviously felt thing I was even like it was like a list of people that was just like well it is Bob rock on it we should meet him so we flew upand then was not like a huge thing to me does not like people history something being forced upon us by management a record company payroll very happy that we finally sort of look outside todayand for somebody else to help with planning unit was never really a producer in the classic sense of how worried he was more like a technical for super engineer Canada push the buttonand when really cannot say in there this amino real Canada coaching he said at a counter is not a performance oriented which I think it became apparent to those who really needed somebody to start helping us get some life into Iraq Tinaand him Bob makes pretty lively records flooding knew what we wanted sound wise the sign performs at an early screw this I thought I could fulfill that the way you really knew what is supposed to doand the producer does is makes you sound more like you not not taking Bon Jovi ideasand put them on this band is not his thing in pulling the best of value being object from a different way you might sitand go you know how I want to know what they did because you like in the middle of tracking is something like they just can’t step outside yourselfand can looking for somebody like Bob really helpful when Canadian what is your afterand then when you feel that okay now this guy understands what it is whereafter then you can leave it with you Dominicans were a lot more about performancesand going for them the engines were about overseeingand making no major decision you know cannot about that kind of stuff so it can lilies of us to deal with potential to greatly justify the ones we didn’t trust him it took a little while when you finally say this guy knows aware what we want do is wake upand it was cool in any so that the couple weeks but I’m low levels strain theand domestic fail taband select thought unknown failing to agree that is little will pull the simple timing the simplicity of it all you hear the easy things to Gary register saw a different approach to songwriting in a different thing to go for production wising a lot of people have been shown the last couple weeks is easier record to Mason to mechanic say that you know suggesting a contrived thing but the thing is when you have a different approach the way you write the songsand you have like she almost like enjoy yourself when you’re playing that comes across like a different feeling record before then I think all those things make it easier listen to is not sent down to make a record that is you listen to dislike were like having fun in all this attitudeand then comes through in the planeand that makes it easy for you listen to cannot be part of what we trying to deny me heavy load that isolates the styleand how the law last think we really try a lot of that stuff a lot more self conscious if I comes up interviews afterwards sitting somebody throw the question is what you want we do that will make you know we just do things you would always wanted to do things differently than what a lot everybody else is doing sometimes might look at somebody elseand discounted subconsciously save your cell wall maybe things will be differentand wanted to spend a go this way for a while is not to vilify myself interviewsand talking about it seems like what we do things happen in people always want answers afterwards weird analyze something that doesn’t really take a lot when it is taught is getting together you mean it will fit adult looks like shorter songsand conversation taken off five seconds like arthritis source out okay in a letter to this okay like you know 30 seconds later why do you think of things that contain one more more answers in England but anywhere else What would you think about all this concept that’s happening the mine would get sand shooting a band engineering band shooting us never a big fan of being shot but the video cameras okay you get you get professionals out there that their little jaded with all that hailand put my mark on this with thisand this is my styleand that I well anybody really if you’ve been doing it long enough you you develop a styleand it’s kind of hard to break out of that the fans shoot from that basically she was able to see so it makes total sense one thing that people can be curious about the tatsand dumb I was just wondering what you had any that you could maybe briefly show whatever it’s a good bit of the story about what it’s in the means to you yet while I mean these guys here first of all means but through my time of the country infatuated with Angelsand just the the next afterlife or somethingand you know my parents leaving us are earlier than others having some kind of guide in my life because I know I like I should’ve died hundreds of timesand I’m not the only one but I can only speak for myself that I know there are things like after I’ve done something like that was really stupid I could like man made my mom or dad or somebody is it made made car turn this way instead or somethingand it’s it’s kinda nice to see those those are realize those things this is my higher power this is an angel bringing the gift of music to me these are actually my hands the the tattoo artist Jack Rudy he he took a Polaroid of my handsand then he copied him so that’s meand struggle this is the angel bringing me music to help me through the fireand this in Latin is don’t die which means gift from God so this one is besides my kids namesand all of the other many of obviously are not meanings but this one is pretty importantand then Cliff you know this is cleverly Burtonand this is the middle bit 20 Ryan the base part delete duty duty do it on right those people find it hard enough to stop drinking like you to win stresses alive around the I know I my battle leaving the bottle way too often some like yourself who has a polygon the US scrutinized by people unfairly whatever like what you kept you going to be Abba to do to do what he can do what you did set deck can’t be an easy thing is it is tough inand learn in certain tools is important to be on the road especially while you are nowadays there’s a lot more bands out there that the bottles not that important to them or the drug or the smoke of the whatever the checks into whatever it is that sidetrack you a lot is not as important as it seems as it used to be but yeah can be challenging on the stuff they’re sitting right in front of you know in them for me is it I’m not really haven’t been really good at long term goals in healthand long term happiness is was always pretty foreign to me to be happy right now I want it now is I feel like shitand into the drain chair that whatever was always a quick quick fix to use it but if I want to if I want to miss it if I eat off of five of five feed the dog that says this was so great remembering this or if I feed the dog that says do look how great your life is right now look at the crap that you used to be in the know this that depends on how you look at itand I know I could I could I could go back in things up pretty quick quickand I don’t need to do that so but also you went you know the criticizing that the public guide of things like that it really depends on my mood is on a really good mood I can I can take anything at any time but if I’m feeling a little insecure little tired or look hungry or whatever it is or just know fraid from the roadand that’s why we don’t go out for such long periods of time as you do you start to get fraid in your head starts to swell you think you’re greater than you are in all of this stuffand I could do whatever I wantand then all of a sudden you don’t do stuff I don’t need to be doing so keep in keep in the tour legs shorter has helped a lotand in all the criticism he has is people are people man you know were no greater than each other we get the same size souland were trying to try to feel happy nor trying to feel loved simple as thatand some people think if they could put someone else down they feel a little more the ego comforts them a little bit I know what that’s like mad so I I contributed to that psychologist being like that now you know get nothing to do with me so been able to tick tenant let it bounce off it is sometimes difficult but that’s the tool I like to use what is it that so that prevents you from some straying away from you telling it there there there are two sites me on that the one side is I’m so happy here I get to write whatever I want to I just wrote an intro to my apocalypse last weekand we played at the concert the other night all this is awesome is a lot of freedom if you let it you know that is a lot of times when we all can it get hung up on each otherand want to try this is like wool may be no way you know this the democraciesand and now I got step backand think second level maybe that’s best that’s best for us for not all in agreement with it let’s not do it man you know or management thinks while this is maybe a bad idea likeand fighting a little bit on itand then click well wherever the passion is I’ll believe you probably be on that the true passion is the keyand that is that we go with that so obviously enough of that in the band to be Abba to the sustain you without taking to the credit elsewhere I think I keep trying to do stuff outside of it you even feel like writing nothing else matters that was not metallic I was not gonna be from attackand I was just meand my head in my know misery for a whileand they heard itand said he ring it onand so it seems like anything is able to be metallic now which is fine as the other side of me this like well you know they’re keeping me know management doesn’t me to do this because it’s affecting the name of the band so I can’t do what I want here in theand he gets gets it gets single mindedand this does notand I know that’s not the right thing to do you know we got a great thing going here is this this part of me that thinks you know as soon as somebody goes offand does a side projectand how I don’t take them seriously anymoreand not not to knock other bands but say it you must let not Corey amazing from an amazing singer please don’t really know which band e zine at the moment you know he’s got so many things going onand if that’s you knowand I can’t I certainly won’t judge him on that if the if it’s maybe it’s maybe he’s doing that to survive maybe the money thing is tough or who knows what it is but maybe not getting in all the stuff that he needs to get in but that’s his that’s his journey I don’t I know I would much rather I think I think I think dedicationand loyalty it was a long way with me what album to you like what you a young kid was one of those outlets I said this is this is my calling man like what the hell is this a guardian more of it by add abuse set black Sabbath no one out of all the records in my brother’s record collection my my my brothers 10 years older than I he was in a bandand he had all kinds of albumsand email from Jethro told of the Beatles to whatever all this other stuff in a put on black Sabbath that was that was pretty much it like Sabbath like Sabbath you self taught here had the first album put it onand it was while this is differentand I like this you know this is got some cool it’s got some ball this got some heaviness it’s got a little bit of scariness in there but as its next level you know it’s is taking it a step further this is just not regular bouncy rock this is the highlight of the way this has this has emotion behind it says howand help our fear whatever it really has to do with your roots man when you’re growing up that stuff so importantand it’s so impressionable on you so everyone has that in their lifeand whatever bandit is at that time you know for my wife it’s no Phil Collins that’s okay it moves her that she reminds her of stuff of her teen years or something that she connects withand goes while I can ground myself in his music for me going back listening to Sabbath listening to Skynyrd listening to UFO listening to priest listening to early maiden stuff like that it does that it does that for me with your proudest track that you overwritten personally itself that’s difficult question because I think we’ve all we’ve all accomplished some great things that with different feels there are some songs that we cannot forget about that I think are pretty amazing I think leading me is one of those moments I think outlaw torn I think the picture you a little bit of those epic E in a with its cut instrumentals with lyrics really there is I’d say the third verse in unforgiven to is a distant when it when it breaks downand there’s that way around land where you know the little law plane is parting from Bob Roxio in the lawand second were professional now it sounds like it’s almost Jimmy page you know so where we were entering the realm of zeppelin at that pointand not pretty proud of that to this easy to most of them going on stage he says something which is up to the back your head that use of sale as you used to be afraid of on the stage but obviously five that yeah water afraid of drowning them out I would say I think all of us together used to be a lot more scared to be okay with no wrong to be wrong were playing just a variation on the album you can get away or you can just say hey I felt it my best I try my bestand that’s all I can do if it was you know 30 in Russia when we played that soloing in my fingers froze up that’s as good as I could do work at my throat was swollen shut like that I’m trying to say nothing else matters I did my best so I think were a little bit better at accepting how things are in the I’d say the thing I’m most afraid of his probably like something like my back going out something like that on stage wishes like you go downand then the wheelchair comes up at the stretcher SCA will make this one up you know you don’t like making gigs upand I’ve kinda been the one who’s been making everyone else make up most the gigs with’s broken arms are catching on fire backs going out or eating bad oysters yeah that’s actually not remembering something on the website about that is like you seem to have that strength that you two way this way keep on going to get the fuck right train rolling while your bestand if it we can do a show you where human at the end of the day if we can’t will make it upand that’s the best we can doand if people travel a long time ways you know to come to that show that they can’t make it the other dates it’s a bummer but it’s part of life in can be superhuman fuel questions always late but yet thank you I really appreciate on really hope they show guys wealthy guys next to not something awesome displaying a part of everything he liked the three days of living doing this with Chaffin Vicki’s it’s it’s been great also experience I really had tends out good looks greatand stuffed as is Le Havre so that ion thanks again Bob we we dignified man we we love having fans come from all over the placeand it’s no snow short swim man for youand others you know we appreciate thatand the dedication that you guys have for usand you know this is upand spread the word of this to good vibes man in a row to have some fun absolutely thinking that if I had to have a right has to get going even investors came to the aliases Celia McKim on again the 20 validated on the task I have lensesand interviewand married okay to a economic spaceand shows NAM Davis been POC for a movie steadfast but it still see pod people answered all the others in their bestand send them in is a public heand Elder can set up it was in a deal of schedulingand reforming a few of spirituality staying here always in a suit all lost key to get the M Solvay spitting us to form signify such assets need to lean in in in some industrial opportunism it could since it will start to buy on a naming scam it’s speeded in dust beneath these needless to all of you to be ancient veins set aside a DEA area today is okay piano I think is a is the government will be seen as that come to an Anita lost the was awarded mainand said that Kindle edition one minute station shows two super massive be the people at on the lobby wasand for scabies cleaning today get some stated that in some cities to diabetesand take other people in schedule started I put sword at the UK the putting she showed on CD you know you need made. Plane lease you are the first because I get off the plane and the essay looks like hell what happened what happened to our president is is a choice between a job super recovery or a buy depression and depression 401 k s down the tubes look out radar software had a little bit yesterday as Nancy Pelosi will not approve stimulus that so enjoy playing a boom or a abiding lockdown but you’re already down in we got again or go we again you like to the deck is every kind of I make this even a little bit of an essay them in one of the right basket I placed a crazy 60 minute was you just kept asking me and then they interviewed sleepy gel is like everybody his fellows and they got great ratings that’s unfortunate they get such good ratings and I want to do it again now what time of the difference one is a craziness I fire coming out of her eyes I love he says that he said I am prepared by tough questions I suggest be fair know I’m a top is the way starts with by this hello this is about did you see the reporters that

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[limited-practice]

Sunder and Hubcap are a couple of my favourite characters that have a lot of potential and are fun to write, so I wrote a quick thing today just to give them some attention and to practice writing them.

1688 words of Sunder and Hubcap talking on board the Lost Light are below the cut.

[Just imagine that Various Things happened and everyone’s together in one place and no-one’s dead]

>I was born in the deep dank shadows you know. I breathe and bleed them, and if my doctors hadn’t corrupted me so thoroughly I would breed them too.

Hubcap’s wide eyes roll slowly towards the door of the room that he and Sunder are in. 

A huge reinforced metal bar holds it closed, which means he can’t use his Outlier abilities to re-route an electronic signal to unlock it, open it, and make a quick dash through it before it’s too late. The door is mechanically locked with a formidably heavy bar to prevent Sunder controlling someone and forcing them to raise it. No-one except the strongest bots can even hope to lift it, and the strongest bots are banned from this room.

Everything about this plan of containment is stupid, but Hubcap’s used to the people in charge making short-sighted decisions that will hurt people so he’s not surprised. Unsettled, certainly, but not surprised. Very few things surprise him now. 

“That’s, uh, nice?”

Hubcap debates calling for help on his internal communicator. He can do so silently so that Sunder never has to hear him, but the problem with this plan is that other people will hear him. They’ll know that he couldn’t last more than two seconds with Big Bad Scary Sunder locked up in his Impenetrable Containment Cell before he wet himself and cried for help.

Hubcap takes the Cybertronian equivalent of a deep steadying breath, his gears and levers whirring softly as they strain and turn, and looks back at Sunder. 

The mnemosurgeon is standing in his custom made cell as if he’s not at all surprised he ended up there. He’s gripping a bar with one hand and looks like Ruined Death. 

Hubcap takes the Cybertronian equivalent of a dry swallow. He once again reassures himself that Sunder can’t physically escape the invisible containment field surrounding his cell. The Lost Light’s top engineers created it, and their work is solid. He also reassures himself that Sunder can’t remotely access anyone’s memories and control them or turn them inside out. Hubcap wrote the containment field’s code that blocks Sunder’s remote abilities and embedded a neural block into Sunder’s brain module himself, and his work is even better. 

But it’s difficult to feel safe and secure when Sunder is looking at him like that. Sunder’s eyes have been removed and being subjected to Primus knows what, but he’s still looking at him. 

“So, uh, the cell is working well,” Hubcap rattles. “It’s good. I mean it’s not that good for you since you’re behind it, in it, but it’s, err, good for me because I’m not. And you are. It’s working. Um.” 

If Hubcap could sweat his frame would be soaked. This is ridiculous. He’s got nothing to fear and nothing to feel nervous about. He’s the good guy here. He’s the expert that was brought aboard the ship to examine Sunder’s innate remote abilities and devise ways to block them. 

>Your work is good. 

“I know,” Hubcap says without thinking. “I’m excellent at what I do.”

 Hubcap’s eyes widen further, this time in horror at openly bragging about his unique abilities. “I, uh, only meant that-” 

>I know what you meant. You don’t have to hide yourself with me. We are similar, you and I. 

A range of emotions stutter and skip across Hubcap’s face. Relief that he hasn’t been mocked or subjected to a bitterly jealous backhanded insult. Gratitude that Sunder acknowledges and appreciates his work. Irritation that Sunder is daring to compare himself to him. 

“I don’t think so.” 

>We are both blessed with unique abilities. We have both been praised and betrayed and ignored and used. We are both helpers. We are both murderers.

“We are not alike.” 

>Perhaps if you looked inside yourself you would see that I speak the truth. 

“Perhaps if you didn’t look inside so many people yourself then you wouldn’t be where you are now.” 

Hubcap really hopes that Sunder’s cell is impenetrable in every sense of the word, he really really does. 

>That is also true.

Sunder’s dark and booming voice has now swallowed a layer of humour. 

>But we did what we did and we do what we do because we are who we are.

Hubcap’s familiar enough with self-centered aggrandizements from people who think they’re unique and special that he can let Sunder’s pompous words wash over him easily.

“That, uh, yeah. I guess. But I’m not like you. Not in any way that counts.” 

Sunder steps closer to the bars and grips the one held in his hand tighter. His shadow streaks across the floor. 

>Is that so? 

Hubcap taps a finger against his thigh. He should be scared. He should be worried. He should be halfway out the door by now after throwing all shame away and calling for help. He should not be looking at Sunder with narrowing eyes and an itching desire to argue with him. 

“It is. And you can stop putting on your Mortilus act with me. It doesn’t scare or impress me.” 

>I don’t have to read your memories to know that you’re scared of him. 

Hubcap doesn’t respond for a few seconds. His mind skips back many years ago to when he was a Cadet being drilled by Roadbuster. 

“I’m not scared of Mortilus,” he says simply. “But I am scared of what people who believe in him can do.” 

Sunder’s facial pipes vent cursed steam. 

>I believe in him. 

“If Mortilus comes for me he’ll kill me in a painless instant,” Hubcap continues, his mind still in the past. “He won’t take me to the brink and leave me there broken. He’ll be quick and sure and do the job right.” 

>I can do the job right. 

Hubcap’s attention fast forwards to the present. “Can you? Can you transform me inside out slowly? Gear by gear and plate by plate and rivet by rivet? Can you draw it out for months and months and months and months? Because if you can’t, then you won’t be doing it right.” 

Sunder doesn’t respond. Hubcap doesn’t have to be a mind reader to know that Sunder is wondering what happened to him to give him such bleak fatalistic confidence and such a hollow smile. Hubcap’s physical recovery from his ordeal was perfect, but there are some things in him that can never be healed. 

The steam venting from Sunder changes. It reduces down from a thick belching grey to a lighter wispy white. 

Hubcap blinks. “Besides,” he says, addressing Sunder’s earlier comment, “You can believe in Mortilus all you want and dedicate your life to him, but your abilities to hurt anyone have been amputated. I helped see to that.”

Hubcap knows that his stuttering vanishes when he’s on a righteous roll. He should find some way of recording his speeches and insights so that he can preserve them. And share them. Pipes would get such a kick out of hearing him like this. The speech he gave to Prowl in front of Tarantulas and the Wreckers was a classic, as was the one he gave to Prowl when they were on that walkway together. He thought that there was someone else lurking in the shadows behind them, but there wasn’t. He and Prowl had escaped and no-one else had appeared which was obviously good but also disappointing, because no-one else had heard him put Prowl in his well-deserved place yet again. 

Sunder’s venting steam vanishes in a hiss. 

>Is that so? 

“You’ve already said that.” 

Sunder tilts his terrible head and his lips approach something like a smile.  

>Apologies. Let me choose another phrase: Are you sure that all of my abilities have been removed?

Hubcap opens his mouth to say yes of course I am, but the words die on his tongue. 

>Would you bet your life on it? Would you bet others’? You may not like sharing commonalities with me, but you have experience in living with things you’d prefer not to. I see it written all over your patched up frame. You are cracks and darkness patched up with transparent tape. You are hurting, and people choose not to see through into it. 

Hubcap crosses his arms over his chest. “Yes. Your, err, abilities have been…removed. Curtailed. They- they cannot work anymore. You’re broken. You’re the one that’s broken.” 

Sunder sits down on his recharge slab.  

>You have my condolences. You may not be able to repair yourself, but you could help me. 

Hubcap feels his eyes widen again. “…what? What do you..?” 

>Fix me. Remove the neural block you put in my brain and fix me. Make me whole again. Allow me to be myself. 

“That’s, uh, what?” Hubcap’s voice cranks up several octaves in panic. “I mean- what? You really-…? Really think I’m going to- to do that? For you?!” 

>It’s a possibility. I’m an optimist believe it or not. But if you don’t do it for me, then you should do it for yourself. You are eaten up with guilt and regrets. Put one of them to rest and help me. Help yourself by helping me. You don’t have to be such a selfish little bot all the time.   

“That is not who I am.”

>That’s exactly who you are. 

“I’m an Autobot!” 

>So am I. 

Hubcap closes his eyes and puts his hands on his head. Everything is throbbing. 

It’s time to go. 

Hubcap calls in to control to report that his inspection is complete and Sunder is safely secured. The door’s great bar rises up and the door is unlocked. 

Hubcap looks through the open door to the brightly lit corridor beyond, but stays where he is. 

>Same time next week? 

Hubcap fiddles with his fingers. “…yes. That’s the next time I’m scheduled to check in on you, so…yes.” 

>You did not say no to my request for help. 

Hubcap looks away and takes a step through the door. “Goodbye Sunder.” 

Hubcap takes another slow step forward and then another and another and leaves the room and steps into the light. 

“Goodbye Hubcap. Until the next time.”

[bbclesmis]

In the Director’s Chair: Tom Shankland on learning from actors & unhealthy obsessions with Roman emperors

The latest director to answer The Drum’s questions in our Director’s Chair series is Tom Shankland, who is represented by Great Guns for branded content. Having worked on TV shows such as Les Misérables and House of Cards, Shankland talks to the Drum about being inspired by actors and why the original Tango ad is still the best ad.

Previously in the series, The Drum has quizzed Matías Moltrasio, Jamie Jay Johnson, Emmanuel Adjei, Henry Busby, Andrew Lang, Camille Marotte, Mea Dols de Jong, Klaus Obermeyer, Eli Roth, Mate Steinforth, Pamela Romanowsky, Traktor and Doug Liman.

Who or what inspired you to be a director? (or who are your creative heroes and why?)

Once upon a time in Italy, my dad took me to an open-air screening of Spartacus. I can still hear the cries of 'Io sono Spartacus!' echoing around the night sky as bats flew across the screen. At the time, I probably had a very unhealthy obsession with very violent Roman emperors, so I'm blaming Stanley Kubrick, Kirk Douglas, Emperor Caligula and my dad for my (healthier?) obsession with the awesome, emotional, inspirational power of cinema.

Outside of work, what are you into?

If I'm not dreaming up shots or cursing budgets, I love being as childish as humanly possible with my kids, leaping around a soft-play area, racing around the kitchen with my one-and-a-half-year-old in the guise of a squeaky anime creature. I like cooking for friends and family, transcendental meditation, pouring over photography books, and anything at all with my girlfriend.

How would you describe your style of commercial/film making? What are you known for?

My directing heroes like Billy Wilder or Howard Hawks seemed to make musicals one month, film noirs the next, and a classic Western just after that. I like to push myself towards genres I haven't tried before. It was great to venture into the Marvel universe for the pilot of The Punisher, come up for air and then dive deep into Victor Hugo's 19th France with Les Misérables and all of the challenges of a classic literary adaptation and period drama.

I love working with actors and have been lucky to work with some of the best – Tom Hardy (WΔZ), Olivia Colman (Les Mis), Robin Wright (House of Cards), Dominic West (Les Mis), David Oyelowo (Les Mis) and many others. As a director, I've learned so much from listening to the actors. A strong vision is essential but without collaboration, it can end up being imposing and dull. I always enjoy trying to squeeze every drop of emotional truth from a moment, however, heightened, bizarre, or seemingly implausible a scene might be.

 Much that I love actors, I'm also a massive Alfred Hitchcock fan, who famously quipped that actors are cattle. Hitch was probably just being mischievous but I've always loved his 'Total Cinema'. A good script and good performances alone don’t make filmmaking. I'm always looking for ways to use every element of the medium to max out on tension and create visual metaphors. Whatever I'm doing, I want to keep the audience on the edge of their seats!

I approach commercials in exactly the same way. Of course, short-form is a very different discipline, but the ingredients are the same: framing, sound, performance, design, the rhythm of the storytelling. I find it fascinating because it’s like a beautiful miniature. You have to work so much more forensically but it is still about pictures, people, and story.

Have you got an idea about what sort of projects you’d like to work on or are you quite open-minded about what work comes your way?

I love to have adventures I haven't had before. If I'm reading something new, I like that little feeling of fear and excitement about stepping into a story or setting I haven't explored before. The protagonist or people have to grab me in some way. I don't have to love them, I just have to be fascinated by what makes them tick.

Increasingly, if it is drama, I like scripts that try to talk about the world we live in now. I wish I was drawn to escapist entertainment, but I always gravitate to pieces that feel like they might resonate with the audience's own experiences. The Marvel shows I've done might look like superhero fun on the surface, but Black Lives Matter and the tough times faced by war veterans haunt Luke Cage and The Punisher. I'm not automatically drawn to period pieces but there was so much in Andrew Davies' adaptation of Les Misérables that made me think of our current chaotic political situation and social injustices. I'm not interested in preachy soapbox stuff, but I like it when great entertainment also tries to be smart and thought-provoking.

What's your funniest moment on set?

I love shooting and I generally find that the darker the piece, the more entertaining the atmosphere is on set. I made a film called The Children where little kids turn on their parents in increasingly disturbing ways. I wanted it to be a smart chiller about parental anxieties and how people deal with aggression in their kids. Needless to say, everybody was very concerned about making sure the child actors weren't remotely disturbed by the material, so the crew and I went to great lengths to turn everything into a fun game. One of the children we worked with actually got in touch with me recently and sounded incredibly well-balanced.

The kids loved the experience - the adults were completely freaked out! I can still remember one six-year-old going up to her screen mum at lunchtime, pretending to jab a pen in her eye. Once she had learned that she was going to do this for a scene, she thought it was hilarious. At the end of the shoot, the children wanted to keep their blood-spattered costumes as a souvenir. They were incredibly sad when it all ended. Scary film – a wonderfully fun shoot!

What's your best piece of work?

I'm proud of everything that I've done where I felt the vision was at its purest. This isn't the same as thinking of something as 'my best work'. It’s such a good feeling when the gap between ambition and finished work feels narrow. I sometimes think that if I've shot my tone book, then I've succeeded - this is probably true for The Children, The Missing, and Les Misérables.

There were also episodes of House of Cards that I did where we created a dreamscape that fitted the overall tone of that show and that was very satisfying to pull off. Recently, I made a four-part TV series called The City and The City that involved an incredibly challenging concept: two over-lapping cities in which each population pretends they can't see the other citizens. I was very proud that we dug so deep on a very challenging budget to find the right visual language.

Which ad do you wish you'd made?

There are so many. I should probably nominate most ads by Jonathan Glazer for their beautiful, lyrical, filmic sensibility, but just for fun, I'm going to say the first Tango ad because I know Ben, the actor, who nailed that look! I love Ben's face and I found a little part of him in Les Miserables. 'You've been Hugo'd'!

How well does the information flow between client, agency and production company on a job?

In my experience, the flow of information between agency, producer and client on an ad shoot is very good (maybe too good at times! ). I have learned quite a lot from that process of having to be incredibly precise in PPMs about what the shooting plans are. In a drama, you tend to want to balance being clear with execs about the plan for the shoot, but also allowing space for those beautiful happy accidents. In general, I'm a fan of bringing everyone with you on a shoot rather than keeping them in the dark. Much that I love an auteur, it is a bit of a fantasy that directors achieve their vision entirely by themselves.

What's been the biggest change to the industry during your career?

The film, TV and advertising industries have all changed massively in the last ten years or so. I have to say (but maybe I'm biased) that a lot of the most creative storytelling seems to be happening on TV now. This will all change, but there seems to have been a big re-calibration of budgets and creative freedom across the mediums; in TV, artistic freedom and budgets seem to have gone up and vice versa in the film unless it involves a superhero.

Of course, everybody is watching content differently now. You only have to look at Great Guns’ (the guys that represent me for branded work) work to see how progressive and inventive that medium has become across so many disciplines and genres - from branded short films to documentaries to music videos. I love how these long-form ideas are taking hold in the world of advertising. It is a confusing but potentially creative time as the world adjusts to this big transition.

Have you worked on any client direct commercials (no agency involved)? What's been the difference?

I've never worked on a client direct project so 'no comment'!

https://www.thedrum.com/news/2019/02/11/the-director-s-chair-tom-shankland-learning-actors-unhealthy-obsessions-with-roman

[worgenforever]

Saryn rework topic from Dev Workshop

Hello fellow Saryn enthusiasts (and all potential to-be-enthusiasts)!

It is with great excitement I come to you today with this Dev Workshop covering Saryn’s 2018 rework. The first section of this Workshop will cover the intent of these changes, while the second will provide a more detailed look into the ability changes themselves.

Please keep in mind that everything you read in this Dev Workshop is subject to change from the posting time right up to the day/time it launches and beyond.

We also understand that providing feedback on something you haven’t had a chance to play or experiment with can prove to be a bit difficult. We do appreciate and welcome constructive feedback and suggestions with the information provided below! However, if you’d like to see Saryn’s changes in action, we will be livestreaming a special Prime Time pre-show with Rebecca, Pablo, and more this Thursday, May 10th at 6:30 p.m. ET!

INTENT OF 2.0

Known best as the queen of Viral and Toxin damage, Saryn has comfortably sat in her role as a damage caster and nucleus for infectious spread latching and leeching onto those who cross her path. When approaching her rework, we wanted to maintain this status while also increasing the level of fun and variety of play.

Back in late 2015, we launched the first “Saryn Revisited” in Update 17.10, where she received an ability overhaul focused primarily on ability synergy. Off the heels of a bulk of Warframe changes released earlier this year, we felt it was time we address Saryn’s current state.

The following bullet points are cornerstones to her 2.0 form, and list what we intend to tackle from over 2 years worth of observations since her first revision:

Tackling Perplexing Synergies - Perplexing indeed. We feel Saryn's synergy as it stands follows a more forced than natural flow. We often found players confused as to why some things worked as they did, which lead to a guessing game of “bug or feature”.

A new player having just acquired Saryn might not be fully aware of Spores’ interaction between Molt, Toxic Lash, and Miasma… and as an added layer, the interactions of those abilities with one another. Essentially, with Saryn you are given all the ingredients to mix up a cocktail, without really knowing if the ingredients are meant to mix in the first place.

In 2.0, we aim to take the guessing out of the “what does what with what to make X happen?” and ultimately make her more sensible and intuitive to play.

Tackling Underused Abilities - There is definitely something very satisfying about seeing damage numbers confetti off in the distance, as your Spores chew through enemies or chunk through health with Miasma. But what of Toxic Lash and Molt? We read your feedback and agree that they don’t meet the standards of her other abilities. A Melee-only ability on a non-Melee focused Warframe felt misplaced, and a decoy that doesn’t scale simply can’t hold up against high-level enemies.

So we took a closer look to see how they could play a bigger part overall. What came of this is Toxic Lash working on ALL weapons, with an added bonus for Melee. While Molt saw improved scaling and an added speed escape bonus on cast. Full details on the changes are listed in the “Ability Changes” section!

Tackling the “Spores Turret” - Shedding Molt and decorating it with Spores is fairly commonplace Saryn gameplay. We’ve noticed that this quick 1 - 2 step tends to result in a “set it and forget it” way of playing. We want players to feel more involved in Saryn’s poisonous grip over the enemy, while giving Spores and Molt more utility on their own.

The first step was removing the synergy to cast Spores on Molt. Distancing the two abilities gave us the start we needed to give them their very own unique and self-sufficient design. Now they perform independently of one another, giving Saryn more options in combat. Details are listed below!

ABILITY CHANGES

Now for the nitty gritty! The following details Saryn’s abilities in their 2.0 revisited form.

General Changes

Increased Saryn’s Armor from 175 to 225 (at rank 30)

Increased Saryn Prime’s Armor from 225 to 300 (at rank 30)

Spores

Spores now have Infinite Duration and Escalating Damage! What exactly does that mean? Essentially, Spore duration is determined by the enemies affected. As long as enemies are dying to Spores, they will spread. As an added bonus, the longer your Spores deal damage, the more your damage output will grow.

*Developer note: We really want to emphasize that this is experimental. With Spores we’re trying a couple new things that we’ve never done before, so we’ve entered new territory that is both exciting and a little scary: Infinite Duration and Infinite Escalating Damage. Both of these have had interesting and fun results under normal test play and conditions, but we are still testing and looking for edge situations that might require us to go back to the drawing board.

Spores changed from Viral to Corrosive damage, which repurposes it as a great tool to strip armor from enemies.

Increased Status Chance from 10% to 50%, also scaling with Power Strength.

When an enemy affected by Spores dies, they spread to surrounding enemies. This makes it much easier to keep Spores active.

*Developer Note: We are particularly apprehensive about Spores behaving this way since we’ve paired it with an already experimental mechanic - it is the most likely portion of the rework to be highly reconsidered before launch.

Recasting Spores will detonate all active Spores and will deal 2x the damage on an infected enemy based on the number of active Spores and their current damage per tick.

A meter showing damage per tick and the number of affected enemies will be available in the UI to keep tabs on active Spores.

Venom Dose Augment Change: Spores cast on allies temporarily grant them additional Corrosive (was Viral) damage to all attacks.

Spores optimization! Under certain circumstances, Spores has been known to cause framerate issues in its current state. With the spreading nature of Spores in the rework, we’ve decreased the CPU burden which has made a noticeable change to the ability’s overall performance while active. There is still room for improvement but we’re fairly happy with the results so far!

Molt

Molt has classically been a great tool of deception and distraction, especially when in a bind and in need a quick escape to reposition. We wanted to retain this utility but improve on it so that it offered more reliable and robust cover options.

After casting, Saryn receives a movementary speed boost for a short duration.

Molt will now scale similar to Rhino’s Iron Skin - All the initial damage it takes in the first few seconds will make it stronger. Any damage it receives after that point will target the absorbed health (Damage absorbed will show in a buff indicator in the UI). Once it reaches 0, Molt explodes dealing Toxin damage to nearby enemies.

Improved FX changes to make her Molt cast more pronounced.

Her Regenerative Molt Augment remains the same! “Saryn regenerates health over a span of time after casting Molt.”

Toxic Lash

You’ve told us that having Toxic Lash limited to Melee was too restrictive and was simply not compatible with a broader variety of playstyles. So we’re sharing its Toxin with the lot of your Arsenal! Toxic Lash’s Toxin damage buff in Saryn’s revisit is now granted to ANY weapon in your Loadout (Primary, Secondary, and Melee). In maintaining its roots, the damage buff on Melee weapons is doubled.

With Toxic Lash active, your weapons will trigger Toxin Status Effect on any damage instance.

Increased the duration from 30 seconds to 45 seconds.

We’ve maintained Toxic Lash’s ability to spread Spores to nearby enemies by dealing damage while active.

With the new spreading nature of Spores, survivability of Molt, and the increase duration of Toxic Lash and Miasma, Saryn is no longer as Energy hungry as she used to be, so we’ve removed the 2 Energy restore on Spores burst by Toxic Lash.

Contagion Cloud Augment change: Kills with Toxic Lash will leave behind a Toxin cloud. As an added bonus, Melee kills double the damage dealt by the cloud.

Miasma

We’ve taken what’s great about Miasma, and made it even better in the scope of Saryn’s 2.0 changes!

Changed Miasma’s damage type from Corrosive to Viral.

*We've swapped Miasma and Spores damage types with one another since Spores in its 2.0 form allows for more than 1 proc per second.

Miasma has a 100% guaranteed Viral Status Effect on damage tick.

Increased damage from 350 to 500.

Increased duration from 3 to 5 seconds.

Miasma inflicts double damage on targets affected by Spores.

When recasting on the same enemy it will refresh the tick duration and maintain the Viral Status Effect, but will not stun enemies a second time.

Saryn Audio rework!

As an added bonus, Saryn is also coming with a whole new set of sounds! This is what Jeff Hartling, Sound Designer, had to say about the changes to Saryn’s audio:

“We are giving Saryn a “voice” when she casts (voiced by [DE]Danielle), which will add character and make her feel more connected to the abilities as you cast them. We really amped up the “poison” aspect of her sounds so that she feels more deadly in combat. In addition, we’ve remastered all of her sounds to have increased clarity and focus.”

You can expect Saryn Revisted 2.0 to launch on PC in a near future update!

PS. We're still looking at the rest of your Arsenal!

[theartidiot]

Featured Films...

Top Gun: Maverick – 4/5 stars

A sequel being better than the original is rare, and shockingly this has been the only win for the United States this year. Keeping this brief to avoid any potential sign of patriotism but can’t say I didn’t enjoy this one!

Elvis – 3/5 stars

3 stars is a bit generous for this film, but anything less would be disrespectful to Austin Butler’s performance and commitment to his role as Elvis. Knowing the director’s, Baz Luhrmann, style and approach to story telling (he created the 2013 rendition of The Great Gatsby), I knew that this film would be colorful, slow moving, and rely heavily on a great soundtrack. While the creators attempted to showcase Elvis stealing from Black artists and marrying a teenager, it seems they wanted the audience to leave the theatre feeling bad for him due to his even more problematic manager, Colonel Tom Parker, disgustingly played by Tom Hanks. In spite of my own qualms, I’d watch it again and again for my sweet Nana, the original lover of Elvis’s music (and to look at Austin Butler). 

GoodFellas – 4.5/5  stars

I’ve been thinking about this film since I first watched it on June 12th. Although I am deep into a re-binge of HBO’s classic, The Sopranos, GoodFellas solidified my ability to enjoy borderline-problematic, somewhat-organized, Italian crime content. This is arguably Martin Scorsese’s best work, and while his shot at The Wolf of Wall Street has a similar aesthetic sentiment, the story and authenticity is incomparable to that of GoodFellas. Despite being a 2.5 hour film, there wasn’t a moment where my eyes strayed away. Queuing up The Godfather and making some gabagool.

Roadrunner: A Film About Anthony Bourdain – 4/5 stars

There are overall mixed reviews about the depiction of Anthony Bourdain in this posthumous production. While I agree that there is more to the story, it must be nearly impossible to entirely capture all that this man was. My fellow cancer saw the beauty, and the despair, in everything, and he was able to articulate those observations in such a way that impacted and resonated with millions. What has stuck with me most is this line from a mourning fan of Bourdain: “Everyone forgets that Icarus also flew… Icarus was not failing as he fell but just coming to the end of his triumph.” 

Showtime…

The Watermelon Woman – 4/5 stars

A 90s movie about a black lesbian that works in a movie store and loves movies? And it’s a mystery? What’s not to like! Albeit, mystery may be a slight exaggeration, but nonetheless, Cheryl Duyne has written, directed,  and starred in a one of a kind film that was monumental for the queer, specifically lesbian, community.  If you are looking to push your boundaries a little and watch something new (or shall I say old), I encourage you to watch The Watermelon Woman.

C’mon C’mon –  4/5 stars

Joaquin Phoenix further solidifies his greatness as an actor with his performance in this late 2021 film, C’mon C’mon. His co-star, child actor Woody Norman, also delivers authenticity and dedication. My first instinct is to describe this as a “feel good” film, yet there are a number of conflicting emotions that one feels throughout the duration of the film. To further explain, there is particular art to encapsulating the triumphs and frustrations of raising a child. As we continue to navigate a world where the future is uncertain, it is crucial to continue to protect children. C’mon C’mon is a small, niche, example of how relationships, especially our relationships with children, are transformative, uplifting, detrimental, frustrating, scary, but most importantly, deserving of our patience and energy. Maybe it’s “not that deep,” but there is no use in stripping things of their meaning or impact.