#also idk u yall can tell
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Dear God, won't you look at me? Even for a moment, won't you let me pretend you're mine?
#alien stage#alien stage ivan#alien stage till#alien stage round 6#aventill#art#artist#fanart#illustration#illust#digital art#THEY MAKE ME PHYSICALLY SICK IM NOT EVEN KIDDING#THE WAY IVAN IS HOLDING BACK FROM KISSING KIM AND JUST NUZZLING SICK#EVIL. EVIL I TELL YOU. i've only known them for a day and I'm physically sick#also idk u yall can tell#but reference to the kiss (artwork)#anyways yes#im in pain
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the percy jackson tv show is actually great when there isn’t a little shit in your ear telling you it’s not “book accurate”
#it’s book accurate enough FOR ME#god can we just try to enjoy something for once#it’s an ADAPTATION. it is not gonna be copy and pasted from the books#but they have the tone and the humor and the CHARACTERS and the themes right#isn’t that what really matters?#and some of yall are acting like they changed the entire plot when really it’s just small changes that service the tv format#and deepen character relationships and interactions#seeing book fans say the movies are better is the most absurd thing i’ve heard in my life… like did we watch the same movies#every single thing the show does wrong is still light years better than every single thing the movies got right#can’t we just enjoy that please#can you tell i’m sick of the nitpicking😭#anyways maybe try to have fun for once in ur life idk#also ur allowed to have constructive criticism that’s so valid. or criticism at all#ofc u should critique the media u enjoy#but saying it’s not a good adaptation is kinda crazy to me idk#when it’s so clear how much thought was put in by the creators and cast to get it right this time#pjo tv#pjo tv show#pjotv#percy jackson#pjo#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo spoilers#percy jackon and the olympians#ruch rambles#sorry to hide all that in the tags but it feels very angry and i don’t want to be mean😭 i have the crit tag filtered for a reason lol#i’m choosing joy#but i just wanted to put these thoughts out there
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i love my friends so much. i feel like yesterday i had a lot of shit going on in my head and i woke up to my friend explaining things in a way that put my mind at ease. i dont feel as anxious anymore because i know i was overthinking. i think my dad said it best when he told me that he thought my wonderful brain of mine just wants to think problems are bigger than they actually are. he is right! im just inexperienced in life and half of the time im scared im doing something wrong but- HEY. i need to be more confident in making mistakes. making mistakes doesn't define me as a person!! i need to stop worrying about doing life right and just live for the sake of living and doing what makes me happy!!!!!!!
#thank u blake. u really helped#also nessa!! thank u for that reblog about your perspective on my one post about feeling lost career wise#it helps me to know im not the only one living this life because holy fuck i can feel confused sometimes because.. am i doing this right?#and you know what? theres no correct path that i think there is but im just not good without a direct direction. it makes me a little#anxious about things#i dont know if its because i have some form of a disorder but i function better when i plan stuff out and give myself something to#decompress the problems and thoughts because in my brain theyre just all stuck and clumped together#and that can get a bit scary and overwhelming!!!#im just glad i have people that care about me. it means literally everything to me#so even if i dont 100% reply dont think i dont care because literally any ANY advice or kindness you show to me means the world#we're all just living this little life and we might as well make the best of it#people care..... thats just.... its good... it makes me feel less alone that people do#i love my friends so much#evennnn if we dont talk every day or are only mutuals in passing!!! it literally means a lot if people show me kindness#like holy shit!!! your older than me? and your dealing with a similar experience??? and your telling me that its okay??? and that itll be#okay?????#like#just the reassurance that things will be okay and work out and that im not the only one dealing with a feeling like mine#idk sometimes i just feel like im crazy and like my thoughts make no sense?? you know?? but yall get it#im glad that i have people who are older than me in my life cause yall have experienced stuff that i can use to be better#like your life experiences can help me in a way that can make a difference on my perspective on things#its why i like talking to my coworkers. because theyve seen things and done things i havent and their perspective can teach me potentially#i just dont feel so overwhelmed with life when i talk to people who understand#i feel so young and yet old enough to know but even the people who are older dont know so im sort of on the right track i suppose depending#on how you look at it#so- im just gonna live my life and smile because!!! you gotta.#you gotta surround yourself with people who can enrich you and teach you things for the better and make you want to grow#some of you are like that#you may not know that#but that kindness means so much
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ok well. unfortunate news: sometimes ur niche is so niche u've already niched the niche. this is exactly the same as the feeling of hitting the end of ur ship tag in ao3 🥲
#*slowly morosely untucks the bib and folds it up again#smh#idk if that post breached containment in the wrong direction or what but there were like 3ppl apiece talking about good actual examples#and those were like 99% media i already reaaaadddd im tearjngn my hair out#but far and away most ppl flat out missed the brief#like i think out of almost four thousand tags about four tagged ghost. four tagged geralt. three andrew minyard. etc#sobbung im sad for me AND for yall like this is ur jam and the best u can put up for example is dean winchester????#listen i know im on the supernatural site. voluntarily. but ur really gonna tell me thats the best u can do 😭😭#like a solid handful said bucky barnes. good solid classic example i'll give it to u but its 2024 😭😭😭😭😭😭#all respect to the ppl tagging ocs tho y'all are real 🫡 bc its looking like if we want it we do gotta get in the trenches and write it 😔✊#anywya i came away with approximately one and a half recs and then 3-4 repeated vouchers for media i know i am just never gonna consume rip#and the rest of yall.. have some kinda different media literacy situation going on we went thru v different english programs i fear#😔😔#angie.txt#like i believe the boba fett girlies are right and on to something but i am simply not going down the mouse route on my own dime#so those recs are. moot#not a single trigun mention i dont think.. not vash or nick or i wouldve even given a pass to a shoutout for knives#some of u said kaz and i havent read the books but even just based on the tv series p sure i can respect that.#one i have to look into asap is whoever evan kelmp(?) is- whatever hes from im not familiar and seems promising.#izzy hands im so sorry. im fundamentally incapable of watching ofmd unfortunately i watched black sails first#wasnt aware it was going to ruin other pirate related media for me when i made that decision 😭😭#i respect the arcane shoutouts but i do think it's hilarious that no two of u called out the same character.#murderbot obviously#i just think some of yall are so close yet so far and i want better for us all so goddamn badlyyy#update: i checked and op seems to have been generalizing off of boba fett/wolverine/magneto etc and yeah that tracks#smbdy said john wick - more than one actually- and while i hear u i also invite u to consider:#that man's singular desire is literally to go back into retirement in peace all he wanted was a quiet night in a rocking chair w that dog..#i dont think id go so far as to say he wouldnt know what to do with a warm bed if he got it. or attach himself to sbdy attack dog style atp#ykwim#somebody said patrick bateman.. yall are just listing names atp. darth vader? kylo? all right pack it up folks
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Cant wait to dye my hair porple mwuahahahah
#red era over for now#even if I hate it I gotta go purble#I like the more bluey purple color but im not very sure I can get my hair to do it#idk im rambljng lmao#I feel like im gonns be hot as fuck ngl#hayden.txt#maybe more ppl will be able to tell im gay if I have that color too lmaooi#I also wanna actually get my eyebrow piercing#which is a surefire way to get gay ppl knowing u are one of them#godddd imma be so cute yall aint even ready
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if i see ONE (1) more person call a friendship/dynamic with a slight age gap a "parent and child relationship" im going to HAVE A TANTRUM !!!!! i hate the idea of a person being friends/acquaintances/coworkers with someone only like 3 or 4 years older than them and is unironically like "haha ur my mom/dad goo goo ga ga" STOP WITH THE PARENTIFICATION OF FRIENDSHIPS!!!!!
#i am talking abt bsd specifically.#no dazai is NOT atsushi's dad 😭#oda was not dazai's dad#also kuro bc sebastian AINT ciels dad idk what to tell yall#man u can do what u want with fiction idrc it just irks me like plsss these characters have like actual complex relationships#and no kouyou-kyouka and fukuzawa-ranpo dont count thats like real parent-child stuff#its just a funny thing i see like 😭😭
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Hello may I interest you all in literally the roughest comic sketch I have ever made in my life
Yuko has very thoroughly burrowed herself into my brain so I wanted to quickly sketch my idea for her and Kiryu meeting after TEN YEARS IN THE-
#smol makes art#Yuko Lives AU#yuko nishikiyama#kiryu kazuma#im SORRY Kiryu looks so BAD i dont ever draw him and i dont know HOW to draw these characters hkhhjbkbkj yall see my vision tho right?#this happened purely because i like the idea of Yuko ALSO hitting us with a 'ten years in the joint' i find it particularly amusing#i love her so much you guys and im just spinning her and Nishiki in my brain and trying to think up what they got up to for those ten years#this is fun i dont usually get invested in fandoms and much less AUs!!! im fuckin writing for this thing!!!#if the writers arent gonna give her character then i'll do it my damn self hjkgvgkvh#(also idk if u can tell but i like the idea of her and Nishiki looking VERY similar which is an extra like 'bro how tf dont u recognise me?'#ya get me? but tbh i relate to Kiryu if u change ur haircut im not gonna know who u are even without 10 years in prison hbvhjbbkbhj)#anyway yeah. sorry he looks particularly bad but hey i think the composition's decent? maybe i'll make this properly. someday#better yet someone else do it ivhigkvjgvkhgvgyk
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the amount of media i have consumed in one week of being sick . . . . i am horrifying myself thinking about it
#all of the squid game reality show plus interview with the vampire the show and both entire seasons of kevin can fuck himself#PLUS rewatched bridgerton s2 and FINALLY watched The Terror#can u tell i used my amc plus free trial#rewatched treasure planet last night and started the hobbit movies again for something to watch while i draw#AND i rewatched avatar way of water and also the shape of water#plus the entire audiobook of infinite country and granted it's not a long audiobook but still five hours#the terror was so good but mostly it was FASCINATING to see the show yall are so insane about on this site#i was so looking forward to wathing iwtv so i could use my trial to also watch the terror bc people are so crazy about it on here#and it's just like . . . . a period piece horror thing with a LOT of white men who all look the same! and it was a blast yeah#truly i love yalls minds i love yalls brains like i would never have thought if i cold watched this show that ppl would be so insane about#anyway god bless someone tell me what else to watch im desperate#started severance and just couldnt get off the ground w it#we never finished sucession bc we just wanted the old man to die and then he did so#idk maybe i'll just keep watching the hobbit movies
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💀💀💀
(Edit: for the tentacles space, its 'likes tentacles' btw)
#this is a Jokepost but u can do it if u want lmao#i also am like 90% asleep so if theres typos idk what to tell yall xo
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🦔
#yall i start night shift tonight :S which is whatever but since the days are flipped for me now im having Late Night Thoughts rn at 7 am#and like. its been a year since i cut my hair short (i cut it once more in like march? and then after that i let it grow to my shoulders)#and i so badly want to cut it again tbh but im also v afraid??#bc having long hair is such a bitch to maintain and also its starting to shed more and more#and besides not wanting to have another breakdown over hair loss (i literally was getting bald spots last year bc stress)#plus my curls have p much disappeared w the length. and will probably not show up again until it grows way longer idk why#like depending on the length its either super curly at the front or just plain frizzy and rn its just frizzy and gross#but anyway im afraid to cut it bc its kind of been a security blanket of sorts? like when i had short hair i felt like ppl#treat u differently (and not in a good way)#but at least w long~ hair literally no one pays attention to me (which i enjoy)#idk its just hard. i just want to look handsome again 😭😭 or at least my own version of handsome#i keep telling myself once i get more fit i'll chop it off again but idk if i can wait that long :(#ignore me
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if you notice something watching you, would it not be polite to Look back and say hello ?
(do not actually say hello or acknowledge it in any way if you do not want to invite its presence into your life.)
#unjorts art#unjorts#digital art#my art#made this a while ago and forgot to post it whoopsies#ngl looking at it rn the temptation to redraw is so high actually#you can tell i listened to tma and it rewired my brain permanently#something abt the fear of being watched just resonated idk what to tell u#also i remember drawin this bc both the bathrooms in my house are fuckin haunted and i was in a spooky mood#bathroom ceiling ghost#socks in the slippers in a bathroom was certainly A Choice i made#im gonna be real w yall i simply did not want to draw my own feet
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so the majority of my building seems to be chinese so i’m just going to learn mandarin via cultural osmosis
#stream#& force my flatmates to help teach me ALSKALKSALSKALSK#yesterday i woke up & saw arthur & yen je in the kitchen & went ni hao yall :) & they got a kick out of it ALSKALSLALSLALSKALSLAL#i love them so much#then last night there’s this chinese smoker on i think it’s floor 1 or 2 (us floor 2 or 3 - im on 4) & he was smoking outside once & i just#went up to him & said ‘are u chinese ?’ ‘yes’ then i asked him abt chinese cigarettes bc YEN JE SAID THAT THE CHINESE PREFER THE CHINESE#CIGS BC THE WESTERN 1S TASTE FUNNY SO I TOLD LI (this is the name of the smoker) that & he said he doesn’t taste a difference between the 2#so i ran into him last night again & he had his cigarettes so he gave me 1 of his to try & honestly ?????? SMOOTH BRO IDK WHAT BRAND IT IS#WHEN I SEE HIM AGAIN I WILL ASK - so i gave him a marlboro red & the immediate differences is the size - chinese are much much thinner#compared to my red & sooooo SMOOTH so so SMOOTH omg such a clean smoke vs MARLBORO WHERE ITS LIKE UR INHALING FUCKING COAL 😭😭😭😭#anyway#that’s all i’ve done#i went to the antique store & found a cigarette case - mosda streamline 500 w lighter - so i was trying to see if i can refill like obvs#it’s petrol not butane so i was taking apart the lighter & needed a screwdriver & went to this hardware store to get some & then started#talking w the guys there & i was like hey so quick question r u familiar w qat/chat ? :3 & then one of them has a yemeni dealer so he’s goin#to ask for me so WERK#BLESS#GETTING MY DISSERTATION CONNECTIONS MADE#BUT ANYWAY i was telling them abt the lighter bc they were lookin at it like ‘this i waht my grandfather used 😭😭’ but also yea probably bc#IT TURNS OUT THIS WAS THE 50S ERA PLANNED OBSOLESCENCE so they were DISPOSABLE - these heavy metal steel lighters u cannot refill u would#just bin it & get another so i’m going to see if i can find someone to rig it to be a butane one bc i love it it’s a GORGEOUS lighter but#it’s empty - like even the flint has calcified or whatever u want to call it - it won’t spark#so i’m on the hunt to find a new refillable antique lighter until i can get this one proper configured bc i did take it apart but then tried#to put it back together but i fucked up the spring a bit 😭😭 i took it apart to clean all the gunk out & to see if i could remove the top but#no it’s totally sealed which SUCKS but i do have the lighter & case so it’s dope as fuck - also got a flask stainless steel so it’s not#antique probably but i can’t find literally ANY copies of this damn flask anywehre it’s a st. louis spirit plane flask the bitch from 1927#lol or whatever ALSKALSKLAKSALSJLA anyway that’s that#& now i’m high & have class in like an hour - still jet lagged & committing fully to alcoholism#but also chainsmoking 🥲 - IM LONLEY !!! I DONT KNOW ANYONE !!!!!!!#but also i need a pot pan & baking tray & chopsticks then i can actually cook
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not the lost tomb anon but replying "if you think having a diversity rule forces somebody to play a poc then idk what to tell you" when they specifically said that in regards to lazy and inaccurate portrayals is incredibly oversimplifying the topic. remember when turkish fcs first started getting popular and all the white roleplayers were using them for characters like karen smith from utah? there's a lot of white roleplayers who accept diversity rules & join rps with those, or even put those rules in their OWN rps, but still erase any speck of cultural heritage on their characters, because they don't actually wanna play that character as a poc and consider what that entails, they just wanna have the diversity brownie points that comes with it. often times they'll play the same 5 OCs that all have a standard white fc but depending on diversity rules, get changed into a fcoc with no changes to the background whatsoever. it's very performative but unfortunately also very common, and i don't blame the other anon for wanting to avoid that.
i was trying to be nice but imo, it's a stupid ass reason for not wanting a diversity rule because there is a very simple way to avoid people like this. in addition, it's a tired excuse to not having a diversity rule i've heard plenty of times. - x
HI IM ADDING TO THIS
can i be honest with you ... PERSONALLY i would prefer if someone using a south asian faceclaim just wrote them the way they'd write any other muse rather than make them a caricature of their culture without doing proper research. and oftentimes what you find on the internet is largely just tropes and stereotypes. unless you actually have friends belonging to that culture it's hard to know where to draw that line between taking bits and pieces from the culture vs making their entire personality the fact that they're south asian. again, personally, this is how i feel in regards to south asian muses at least, people can have other opinions on the same topic. idk if i explained what i mean well enough but i think this whole discussion on writing diverse muses is a very complex one tbh with a lot of differing opinions on how best to approach writing someone from a different culture than what you yourself belong to, ykwim. - o
#like if someone is doing that you can literally not accept the app.#once again idk what to tell yall#also this doesn't mean i'm not saying u shouldn't try to do ur research and write muses more accurately or give them glimpses of their#cultural bg#i'm js its better to actually see that diversity rather than have a taken list of all white fcs cause ur too scared to write a poc#bc it involves understanding another culture u may know nothing about
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lalala
#moon rambles#HIM#also yeah ive decided to get rid of the strawberry hirns#*horns#good idea but well its hard to execute in the way i want#im giving him green instead#+ idk abt yall. but hes still really strawberry coded. like i think u can tell. DHDHDHDJ maybe. juuuustt maybe.
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i just feel like if you cant debate someone w/o insulting them then you're kinda just using it as an outlet for all of your asshole-ness
#you shouldnt have assholeness inside you anyways but. if you do you probably grew up thinking its just like. socially normal#instead of idk. trying to get along?? theres no reason you gotta insult ppl esp for things they cant change#it also makes you look lazy in the way u argue#yes yes ik i call ppl dipshits a lot but to me its more of a 'im worried about u/ur wellbeing/ppl around u for u not knowing better'#rather than a:#'hah u idiot loser ur so dumb and im so so much smarter and cooler and faster than you heh' kinda thing that some ppl do 😒😒😒#ig that can be a bit patronizing but id prefer that over someone whos just an immature full-of-themselves asshole tbh#not tryna say its ok bc ppl dont necessarily know i mean it in that way when i say it but yeah. i dont think im the worst about this ill sa#that much and thats not the reason im posting about it. a looooooot of yall on here are waaaaaaaaay worse about it lmao.#i think we should all try to stop doing it. and that doesnt mean me trying harder than yall if anything yall need to try harder than me#oh and uh me telling you What It Is isnt the same as me insulting you. btw. at worst its patronizing when you Do know better#but otherwise im literally just trying to be helpful. even if it is snappy and said pettily sometimes 💁#at least i can rest easy knowing i tried being helpful rather than feeling like a self-proclaimed 'morally superior' egotistical jackass#💁💁💁💁💁#i dont know better! i know what i know and i work off of what i know and help people from where i come from and my own experience#i dont claim to know everything i dont stand on this rock claiming to conquer all that is to be known about it like some of yall do#i dont get on my high horse trying to preach to people abt How They Should Be Or Else They're Irredeemable (And Also I'm Perfect btw)#and if i ever do its for the least serious thing possible and im probably fuckin joking#and ig rn i am kinda doing a 'i do this better than you' thing but again its a#'i do this better than you. you should be able to do it as well as i do too or better. challenge urself to be better' thing rather#than 'haha look at me im so much smarter than you and better than you and more deserving! everybody praise me!!!' thing
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family and cars .. 🚗
wow guys yall probbly cant guess who my fav team is cause yknow im so good at hiding and its not obvious at all amirite hah haha …
this came to me from a dream im not joking, its so stupid 😭 this was supposed to be a doodle but i spent way too long on this 😭😓 also pls dont look at the car i cannot draw vehicles for the life of me 🧍🏻♀️🧍🏻♀️
i do not have real designs for them yet 😔 but i knowww joel is supposed to be john something toretto or whatnot but i cant help it but make these two being all cottagecore and stuff 😭😭🩷 like CMON theyre so cottagecore their colours with all the greens and browns and orange UGH, also i give them clothes i would actually wear too soooo yea heheeee
also idk if u can tell but i love jeffrey w all my heart, im so sad he didnt make it in the vids this time but surely we’ll see him again in the futyre 😞😞💔💔
closeup tehee
#han.art#mcyt fanart#mcyt#smallishbeans#smallishbeansfanart#joel smallishbeans#trafficblr#geminitay fanart#geminitay#wildlife#traffic smp#life series fanart#traffic life#gemjoel#what is their duo name#is it jade duo#lag duo#jade duo
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