#also idk u yall can tell
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Dear God, won't you look at me? Even for a moment, won't you let me pretend you're mine?
#alien stage#alien stage ivan#alien stage till#alien stage round 6#aventill#art#artist#fanart#illustration#illust#digital art#THEY MAKE ME PHYSICALLY SICK IM NOT EVEN KIDDING#THE WAY IVAN IS HOLDING BACK FROM KISSING KIM AND JUST NUZZLING SICK#EVIL. EVIL I TELL YOU. i've only known them for a day and I'm physically sick#also idk u yall can tell#but reference to the kiss (artwork)#anyways yes#im in pain
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the percy jackson tv show is actually great when there isn’t a little shit in your ear telling you it’s not “book accurate”
#it’s book accurate enough FOR ME#god can we just try to enjoy something for once#it’s an ADAPTATION. it is not gonna be copy and pasted from the books#but they have the tone and the humor and the CHARACTERS and the themes right#isn’t that what really matters?#and some of yall are acting like they changed the entire plot when really it’s just small changes that service the tv format#and deepen character relationships and interactions#seeing book fans say the movies are better is the most absurd thing i’ve heard in my life… like did we watch the same movies#every single thing the show does wrong is still light years better than every single thing the movies got right#can’t we just enjoy that please#can you tell i’m sick of the nitpicking😭#anyways maybe try to have fun for once in ur life idk#also ur allowed to have constructive criticism that’s so valid. or criticism at all#ofc u should critique the media u enjoy#but saying it’s not a good adaptation is kinda crazy to me idk#when it’s so clear how much thought was put in by the creators and cast to get it right this time#pjo tv#pjo tv show#pjotv#percy jackson#pjo#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo spoilers#percy jackon and the olympians#ruch rambles#sorry to hide all that in the tags but it feels very angry and i don’t want to be mean😭 i have the crit tag filtered for a reason lol#i’m choosing joy#but i just wanted to put these thoughts out there
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hi nina!! can we plz see some of the char sheet youre doing?
AWWWW!!!! this is so sweet, omg. ;-; <3
i fucking LOVE character sheets sm; it is a relic from when i first broke into writing online and used to tumblr rpg ( cringe ). i just feel like they really help you see and understand your characters and figure out what they look like, how they act, what their motivations are, etc.
but yes!!!! i spend a lot of time on them and i haven't had a lot of time...recently, so i haven't been able to work on the ones i have for The Nasty Nina Boys From ( Fine As ) Hell, but you can have this little section i started on appearance in the ravenstan one ( he has been on my mind a lot lately, i srsly love him so much, he's my baby )
i'll drop it under the cut for you <3
-uncle nina, tumblr rpg survivor, char sheet queena
#AAAAAA#this is so cute idk i get excited#when people ask me for character des#and character stuff where i go into crazy detail#hopefully the sex/gender identity was stated correctly#i try to consult my trans friends and do research often#anyways in case u were wondering how ravenstan's hair looks to me idk i'm sorry its not as nasty as yall probably think it is#its v chaotic blonde bi roxstar s4 eren yeager izumi miyamura#thats my closest approximation i fear#it gets touched up a lot and always kinda looks good...Sigh.#i did give him my Trich tho god bless him it sucks :/#and my bipolar like he really is my son huh#but yeah i hope u think its cute there are like 73209473 sections but they take me a while bc i like to go into#Laser Focus Amounts Of Detail but bc i can't draw and i can only write as vividly as i can i hope its a good visual ref#also i love him i love the lil half up half down stan hair style i'm sorry ur gonna have to pry that out of my cold dead hands#also his lil hipdips he is saur cute i love him so bad#his legs are lowk long hi model rstan#i keep forgetting hes Tall in the platforms love that#when i tell u the shit-izens of south park were telling stan routinely at like 11 that he should model...honestly i see it#he do be slouching tho modelling agencies would hate him like why is this man fine as hell and burping Out Loud???#and putting his feet up on the couch and being DISGUSTIN#yeah...yeah...anyways i love him thank u for asking#nina character sheet supremacy BABEY
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i love my friends so much. i feel like yesterday i had a lot of shit going on in my head and i woke up to my friend explaining things in a way that put my mind at ease. i dont feel as anxious anymore because i know i was overthinking. i think my dad said it best when he told me that he thought my wonderful brain of mine just wants to think problems are bigger than they actually are. he is right! im just inexperienced in life and half of the time im scared im doing something wrong but- HEY. i need to be more confident in making mistakes. making mistakes doesn't define me as a person!! i need to stop worrying about doing life right and just live for the sake of living and doing what makes me happy!!!!!!!
#thank u blake. u really helped#also nessa!! thank u for that reblog about your perspective on my one post about feeling lost career wise#it helps me to know im not the only one living this life because holy fuck i can feel confused sometimes because.. am i doing this right?#and you know what? theres no correct path that i think there is but im just not good without a direct direction. it makes me a little#anxious about things#i dont know if its because i have some form of a disorder but i function better when i plan stuff out and give myself something to#decompress the problems and thoughts because in my brain theyre just all stuck and clumped together#and that can get a bit scary and overwhelming!!!#im just glad i have people that care about me. it means literally everything to me#so even if i dont 100% reply dont think i dont care because literally any ANY advice or kindness you show to me means the world#we're all just living this little life and we might as well make the best of it#people care..... thats just.... its good... it makes me feel less alone that people do#i love my friends so much#evennnn if we dont talk every day or are only mutuals in passing!!! it literally means a lot if people show me kindness#like holy shit!!! your older than me? and your dealing with a similar experience??? and your telling me that its okay??? and that itll be#okay?????#like#just the reassurance that things will be okay and work out and that im not the only one dealing with a feeling like mine#idk sometimes i just feel like im crazy and like my thoughts make no sense?? you know?? but yall get it#im glad that i have people who are older than me in my life cause yall have experienced stuff that i can use to be better#like your life experiences can help me in a way that can make a difference on my perspective on things#its why i like talking to my coworkers. because theyve seen things and done things i havent and their perspective can teach me potentially#i just dont feel so overwhelmed with life when i talk to people who understand#i feel so young and yet old enough to know but even the people who are older dont know so im sort of on the right track i suppose depending#on how you look at it#so- im just gonna live my life and smile because!!! you gotta.#you gotta surround yourself with people who can enrich you and teach you things for the better and make you want to grow#some of you are like that#you may not know that#but that kindness means so much
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I just wanna go on dates with her
#thoughts#oni talks#oni has a crush#sapphic yearning#I have a speed dating thing I’m going to with a friend she needs it and I already bought a ticket#but honestly I just wanna go on dates with this one girl but we’re not technically dating so that feels so silly to say#I can’t tell if it’s friendship or slowburn vibes and I don’t wanna rush into things in a toxic U-Haul way but like#idk I just wanna do cute shit together I wanna take care of her when she gets home from stuff and help her work on things#I wanna shower her in all the stuff that reminds me of her and that I think she’d like but also I don’t wanna do too much#I feel like I should not be this committed when we’re not committed but like I wanna be? i can’t tell if I’m being normal or weird#I wanna get her flowers and cuddle and shit man#I wanna do all those romantic tension things like doing each others makeup those practical massages holding hands#lap stuff and like I wanna hear about her day and stuff and I’m just like aaaahhhhh#i wanna see her flustered and happy and also I wanna be buff enough to pick her up without water#I think I’m going a little gay insane I don’t have enough experience to navigate this shit Yall#how the fuck am I supposed to tell where platonic closeness and sapphic closeness begins and ends and shit#my sentimental ass can’t stop associating her and bringing her up but I can’t see her as often now so it’s like ahhh#how am I ready to delete all my dating apps and shit and we haven’t even kissed the sapphic yearning has overtaken me yall#I keep watching sapphic shit as I do and it keeps working me the fuck up send lesbian gods or smth#we just exchanged socials so now I can bomb her with silly little gay memes and she sent me hearts and like#she got me giggling and twirling and kicking my feet and shit
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Cant wait to dye my hair porple mwuahahahah
#red era over for now#even if I hate it I gotta go purble#I like the more bluey purple color but im not very sure I can get my hair to do it#idk im rambljng lmao#I feel like im gonns be hot as fuck ngl#hayden.txt#maybe more ppl will be able to tell im gay if I have that color too lmaooi#I also wanna actually get my eyebrow piercing#which is a surefire way to get gay ppl knowing u are one of them#godddd imma be so cute yall aint even ready
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He is in fact not cool with his friends killing people he just can’t do shit about it and the fact that he thinks he can do smth about (and does!) when it comes to his kids is like a major point
#like one of the main#Idk if theme is the right word#but issues surrounding Batman in general and Gotham specifically#is the high standards he holds not just those closest to him to but also the people he controls#NOW DONT GET CAUGHT UP IN UR GUT REACTION CONTROL IS A STRONG WORD BUT IM USING IT FOR A REASON#like i think the fandomification of the batfamily and seeing every character as reliable in the way they tell their own stories#is making people forget that yes bruce lowkey controls them#like not in a mean way or whatever but as much as dick and Jason rebel and say ‘fuck you old man I have my own people to take care of’#at a snap of Bruce’s fingers where are they?#right back in Gotham#which ppl say is an issue with writing and I agree like they really just can’t take anyone away from Gotham#but THATS meta like the in universe conclusion is what creates in universe analysis#and these issues are being spoken about from an in universe pov#that was just me justifying my point anywayyyd#what im saying is that like#in conclusion Ppl are forgetting that Bruce is scary and still runs this shit lmao#like a few snappy quips about emotional distance and some ‘X deserves better’ fics is making yall forget shit like spyral#or at least how it went down and ended up today and what that says about the characters involved#it’s tragic and Ik we like to ignore that but like. when look at shit like the no killing rule#yes bruce thinks he’s being slighted or failing whenever his kids kill someone and they to an extent think that too which is why they don’t#do it#or at least partly#even for Jason that’s why the killing is not just what needs to be done it’s a form of rebellion for him#everyone who agrees jason should just leave Gotham but still present as pure rebellion and anger and spitting at Bruce don’t get why Jason#should leave is all I’m saying#that’s why Dick never got away#it’s still all about Bruce#even if we don’t want it to be#reading this back it’s disjointed as hell but I’m not fixing it if u get it ily heh just a peek into my dark mind#if u don’t it’s not ur fault not everyone can withstand the alphas prowess…
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if i see ONE (1) more person call a friendship/dynamic with a slight age gap a "parent and child relationship" im going to HAVE A TANTRUM !!!!! i hate the idea of a person being friends/acquaintances/coworkers with someone only like 3 or 4 years older than them and is unironically like "haha ur my mom/dad goo goo ga ga" STOP WITH THE PARENTIFICATION OF FRIENDSHIPS!!!!!
#i am talking abt bsd specifically.#no dazai is NOT atsushi's dad 😭#oda was not dazai's dad#also kuro bc sebastian AINT ciels dad idk what to tell yall#man u can do what u want with fiction idrc it just irks me like plsss these characters have like actual complex relationships#and no kouyou-kyouka and fukuzawa-ranpo dont count thats like real parent-child stuff#its just a funny thing i see like 😭😭
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Hello may I interest you all in literally the roughest comic sketch I have ever made in my life
Yuko has very thoroughly burrowed herself into my brain so I wanted to quickly sketch my idea for her and Kiryu meeting after TEN YEARS IN THE-
#smol makes art#Yuko Lives AU#yuko nishikiyama#kiryu kazuma#im SORRY Kiryu looks so BAD i dont ever draw him and i dont know HOW to draw these characters hkhhjbkbkj yall see my vision tho right?#this happened purely because i like the idea of Yuko ALSO hitting us with a 'ten years in the joint' i find it particularly amusing#i love her so much you guys and im just spinning her and Nishiki in my brain and trying to think up what they got up to for those ten years#this is fun i dont usually get invested in fandoms and much less AUs!!! im fuckin writing for this thing!!!#if the writers arent gonna give her character then i'll do it my damn self hjkgvgkvh#(also idk if u can tell but i like the idea of her and Nishiki looking VERY similar which is an extra like 'bro how tf dont u recognise me?'#ya get me? but tbh i relate to Kiryu if u change ur haircut im not gonna know who u are even without 10 years in prison hbvhjbbkbhj)#anyway yeah. sorry he looks particularly bad but hey i think the composition's decent? maybe i'll make this properly. someday#better yet someone else do it ivhigkvjgvkhgvgyk
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the amount of media i have consumed in one week of being sick . . . . i am horrifying myself thinking about it
#all of the squid game reality show plus interview with the vampire the show and both entire seasons of kevin can fuck himself#PLUS rewatched bridgerton s2 and FINALLY watched The Terror#can u tell i used my amc plus free trial#rewatched treasure planet last night and started the hobbit movies again for something to watch while i draw#AND i rewatched avatar way of water and also the shape of water#plus the entire audiobook of infinite country and granted it's not a long audiobook but still five hours#the terror was so good but mostly it was FASCINATING to see the show yall are so insane about on this site#i was so looking forward to wathing iwtv so i could use my trial to also watch the terror bc people are so crazy about it on here#and it's just like . . . . a period piece horror thing with a LOT of white men who all look the same! and it was a blast yeah#truly i love yalls minds i love yalls brains like i would never have thought if i cold watched this show that ppl would be so insane about#anyway god bless someone tell me what else to watch im desperate#started severance and just couldnt get off the ground w it#we never finished sucession bc we just wanted the old man to die and then he did so#idk maybe i'll just keep watching the hobbit movies
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💀💀💀
(Edit: for the tentacles space, its 'likes tentacles' btw)
#this is a Jokepost but u can do it if u want lmao#i also am like 90% asleep so if theres typos idk what to tell yall xo
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🦔
#yall i start night shift tonight :S which is whatever but since the days are flipped for me now im having Late Night Thoughts rn at 7 am#and like. its been a year since i cut my hair short (i cut it once more in like march? and then after that i let it grow to my shoulders)#and i so badly want to cut it again tbh but im also v afraid??#bc having long hair is such a bitch to maintain and also its starting to shed more and more#and besides not wanting to have another breakdown over hair loss (i literally was getting bald spots last year bc stress)#plus my curls have p much disappeared w the length. and will probably not show up again until it grows way longer idk why#like depending on the length its either super curly at the front or just plain frizzy and rn its just frizzy and gross#but anyway im afraid to cut it bc its kind of been a security blanket of sorts? like when i had short hair i felt like ppl#treat u differently (and not in a good way)#but at least w long~ hair literally no one pays attention to me (which i enjoy)#idk its just hard. i just want to look handsome again 😭😭 or at least my own version of handsome#i keep telling myself once i get more fit i'll chop it off again but idk if i can wait that long :(#ignore me
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so the majority of my building seems to be chinese so i’m just going to learn mandarin via cultural osmosis
#stream#& force my flatmates to help teach me ALSKALKSALSKALSK#yesterday i woke up & saw arthur & yen je in the kitchen & went ni hao yall :) & they got a kick out of it ALSKALSLALSLALSKALSLAL#i love them so much#then last night there’s this chinese smoker on i think it’s floor 1 or 2 (us floor 2 or 3 - im on 4) & he was smoking outside once & i just#went up to him & said ‘are u chinese ?’ ‘yes’ then i asked him abt chinese cigarettes bc YEN JE SAID THAT THE CHINESE PREFER THE CHINESE#CIGS BC THE WESTERN 1S TASTE FUNNY SO I TOLD LI (this is the name of the smoker) that & he said he doesn’t taste a difference between the 2#so i ran into him last night again & he had his cigarettes so he gave me 1 of his to try & honestly ?????? SMOOTH BRO IDK WHAT BRAND IT IS#WHEN I SEE HIM AGAIN I WILL ASK - so i gave him a marlboro red & the immediate differences is the size - chinese are much much thinner#compared to my red & sooooo SMOOTH so so SMOOTH omg such a clean smoke vs MARLBORO WHERE ITS LIKE UR INHALING FUCKING COAL 😭😭😭😭#anyway#that’s all i’ve done#i went to the antique store & found a cigarette case - mosda streamline 500 w lighter - so i was trying to see if i can refill like obvs#it’s petrol not butane so i was taking apart the lighter & needed a screwdriver & went to this hardware store to get some & then started#talking w the guys there & i was like hey so quick question r u familiar w qat/chat ? :3 & then one of them has a yemeni dealer so he’s goin#to ask for me so WERK#BLESS#GETTING MY DISSERTATION CONNECTIONS MADE#BUT ANYWAY i was telling them abt the lighter bc they were lookin at it like ‘this i waht my grandfather used 😭😭’ but also yea probably bc#IT TURNS OUT THIS WAS THE 50S ERA PLANNED OBSOLESCENCE so they were DISPOSABLE - these heavy metal steel lighters u cannot refill u would#just bin it & get another so i’m going to see if i can find someone to rig it to be a butane one bc i love it it’s a GORGEOUS lighter but#it’s empty - like even the flint has calcified or whatever u want to call it - it won’t spark#so i’m on the hunt to find a new refillable antique lighter until i can get this one proper configured bc i did take it apart but then tried#to put it back together but i fucked up the spring a bit 😭😭 i took it apart to clean all the gunk out & to see if i could remove the top but#no it’s totally sealed which SUCKS but i do have the lighter & case so it’s dope as fuck - also got a flask stainless steel so it’s not#antique probably but i can’t find literally ANY copies of this damn flask anywehre it’s a st. louis spirit plane flask the bitch from 1927#lol or whatever ALSKALSKLAKSALSJLA anyway that’s that#& now i’m high & have class in like an hour - still jet lagged & committing fully to alcoholism#but also chainsmoking 🥲 - IM LONLEY !!! I DONT KNOW ANYONE !!!!!!!#but also i need a pot pan & baking tray & chopsticks then i can actually cook
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if you notice something watching you, would it not be polite to Look back and say hello ?
(do not actually say hello or acknowledge it in any way if you do not want to invite its presence into your life.)
#unjorts art#unjorts#digital art#my art#made this a while ago and forgot to post it whoopsies#ngl looking at it rn the temptation to redraw is so high actually#you can tell i listened to tma and it rewired my brain permanently#something abt the fear of being watched just resonated idk what to tell u#also i remember drawin this bc both the bathrooms in my house are fuckin haunted and i was in a spooky mood#bathroom ceiling ghost#socks in the slippers in a bathroom was certainly A Choice i made#im gonna be real w yall i simply did not want to draw my own feet
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not the lost tomb anon but replying "if you think having a diversity rule forces somebody to play a poc then idk what to tell you" when they specifically said that in regards to lazy and inaccurate portrayals is incredibly oversimplifying the topic. remember when turkish fcs first started getting popular and all the white roleplayers were using them for characters like karen smith from utah? there's a lot of white roleplayers who accept diversity rules & join rps with those, or even put those rules in their OWN rps, but still erase any speck of cultural heritage on their characters, because they don't actually wanna play that character as a poc and consider what that entails, they just wanna have the diversity brownie points that comes with it. often times they'll play the same 5 OCs that all have a standard white fc but depending on diversity rules, get changed into a fcoc with no changes to the background whatsoever. it's very performative but unfortunately also very common, and i don't blame the other anon for wanting to avoid that.
i was trying to be nice but imo, it's a stupid ass reason for not wanting a diversity rule because there is a very simple way to avoid people like this. in addition, it's a tired excuse to not having a diversity rule i've heard plenty of times. - x
HI IM ADDING TO THIS
can i be honest with you ... PERSONALLY i would prefer if someone using a south asian faceclaim just wrote them the way they'd write any other muse rather than make them a caricature of their culture without doing proper research. and oftentimes what you find on the internet is largely just tropes and stereotypes. unless you actually have friends belonging to that culture it's hard to know where to draw that line between taking bits and pieces from the culture vs making their entire personality the fact that they're south asian. again, personally, this is how i feel in regards to south asian muses at least, people can have other opinions on the same topic. idk if i explained what i mean well enough but i think this whole discussion on writing diverse muses is a very complex one tbh with a lot of differing opinions on how best to approach writing someone from a different culture than what you yourself belong to, ykwim. - o
#like if someone is doing that you can literally not accept the app.#once again idk what to tell yall#also this doesn't mean i'm not saying u shouldn't try to do ur research and write muses more accurately or give them glimpses of their#cultural bg#i'm js its better to actually see that diversity rather than have a taken list of all white fcs cause ur too scared to write a poc#bc it involves understanding another culture u may know nothing about
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the autistic urge to make friends (i love talking to people) vs the autistic urge to isolate forever (i have no idea how to talk to people)
#liverbee#idk i feel weird for wanting friends#ive literally never had any so i worry i only want them bc i feel like im missing out? but also like. i do like people lol#it doesnt help that im not like. stable enough regularly to talk to people#i was messaging someone from my discord server and then had a freakout and deleted all the messages#how do u befriend someone who you can hardly tell exists? im like if a ghost was stupid#anyway all this is to say im gonna look for more gaming buddy discords 😭 preferably queer friendly so i dont have to#fucking if i have to see some stupid yall-qaeda dickhead when all i want is to play toys ill be really angry 😭😭😭
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