#which gave me The Dysphorias but yeah. my way of navigating that was to get a little fluid with it.

[aliosne]

Saw a post about working class butches in physical labour jobs and wanted to make my own, so: I love you butches who do childcare or early education. I love you butch nurses. I love you butch house cleaners and janitorial staff. I love you service industry butches. I love you butches who do sex work. I love you working class butches who do “feminine” jobs you are cool as hell

[drdemonprince]

Any chance you'd expand on the hank hill trans guy post? (Sorry, best indicator I could come up with.) The concept interests me as I decidedly know my maleness, yet don't feel impeded by for the most part, any male gendered norms/boxes. I am fairly masculine, though I rarely use those kinds terms to describe myself. I have found I often do stray outside of what society pushed for me when I transitioned, yet I again do not feel it has taken from my right to maleness whatsoever. I am just me, who happens to be male. I have had friends try and suggest I am NB adjacent but I do not feel this way whatsoever. I feel more people are outliers to gender expectation than we care to admit and it's disappointing the way cis-people deny that. Hope this wasn't too long winded, I value your writing and perspective, and wanted to hear more of your thoughts on this.

Yeah, well so many things all get conflated by gender labels, and it's all so personal, you know? Masculinity does not have to mean maleness, and a person's gender identity might be a reflection of some innate quality they experience themselves as having, or a general summary of their tendencies, or their desired presentation, or their sense of affinity with other people, or an interpersonal tool, or something they just go along with because it was given to them by society, or any other number of things.

I think my recent substack piece on detransition goes into this pretty well, and I have an upcoming piece of what @pastimperfection calls "bilateral dysphoria" that comes out next week that delves into it too.

I think I mostly saw taking on a male identity as a means to an end more than any kind of innate reflection of who I was, though I did feel an affinity with effeminate men for a lot of reasons. I think I also discounted how much I have in common with my fellow nonbinary people of all stripes, because that identity became so strongly associated with being an annoying type of queer person that everybody else just wrote off as ultimately being their assigned gender at birth anyway no matter how much they protested. it doesn't help that 'nonbinary' is a catchall term for literally thousands if not millions of very distinct experiences and desires.

transitioning gave me control over how i was perceived, finally, but hormones are a throttle that only go in one very specific direction, and you don't really have all that much control over which changes kick in at which times and what people will make of you once you do start registering to them as some identity other than what you were first saddled with. it's an incredible gift to be able to toggle that throttle. but it's limited, not because medical transition isn't incredible and needed for so many, but because there is no escaping the goddamned binary cissexist logic that influences everything about how people treat you, how you navigate institutions, who finds you desirable and what they want out of you, and so much else.

if you're able to cast a lot of the external societal bullshit aside and feel strong in your maleness, maybe you're stronger than me or maybe our orientation to these things is just different, i don't know. i was never all that sensitive to feedback that i was doing the whole being-a-woman-thing all that wrong. i reveled in violating those rules to an extent. succeeding at being a woman despite my best attempts was what felt super dysphoric. and now i guess im succeeding at being a man, insofar as im always read as one, and it feels just as uncomfortable and objectifying and false. i thought that with manhood i could probably just grit my teeth and deal with it, but i'm finding that i can't.

ive always been very open that for me, gender is a thing I Do, and i guess to those who know me well it wouldnt be surprising to hear that i have gotten tired of Doing Being a Man and dont feel like playing that particular gendered game anymore. I tend to get bored of things! and find the flaws in things. and find my comfort in being fault-finding and contrarian and not being a joiner. and thats okay. i learned a lot along the way. not having to try any more is a huge relief. i can just do whatever. and know actively that people will more often than not be wrong in what they make of me.

maybe it was natural feeling for you to decidely 'know' your maleness without a care for masculine standards because that is the right identity for you! and maybe i only feel secure in the "not knowing" realm and in letting go of what people think of me or finding any kind of tidy categorization for it because that's the right spot for me. for now. until i find a new interesting way to be unhappy and striving for more and different again. :) that's just part of being alive, for me.

[sofipitch]

I'm kind of scratching my head about what they want to do with Claudia and her storyline this season. I've been ok with ageing her up and Bailey is a phenomenal actress. She's mesmerizing. But even her capacity to captivate my attention couldn't stop me from seriously questioning her character arc.

The whole idea of Claudia (in the books) was that she was an adult stuck in a small child's body, unable to live "a normal adult life". Unable to be her own independent, free person. Always needing somebody to care for her and to help her with the aspects of her life that intersected the human world. She was doomed to be dependent on one of her parents forever. And she realized that. She realized that Louis would be the only one who would bend to her will, who wil go where she wants, who will do what she asks. She loved him I have no doubt, but she also knew he was the "weak link".

That's not what I saw in this episode. They had Claudia learn how to drive , they had her go to college, they had her living alone for 7 years. She did so more or less successfully (cause they showed she wasn't as careful with her killings like L&L), but she managed just fine for 7 years. She returned home out of loneliness (in her diary) and because of the SA. Which brings me to the other point of contention. I'm disgusted that they aged Claudia just to write a rape scene in her narrative! to make her tough!!

Where is the dependance on her parents? Where is the vital need for an adult to help her navigate her life? Where is the feeling that she couldn't live in that house anymore because Lestat was the autocrat controlling everything and it was either her or Lestat? Cause if she didn't like living there, show Claudia could just leave. Where are the manipulations regarding Louis? Where is the selfishness mixed with the rightful desire for independence?

Because show Claudia, as they have portrayed her, is just a reckless girl who can't control her killings, who came home to save her dad/older brother from the evil sadistic bastard that is her other parent. Her motivations are nearly selfless. After what show Lestat did, she's 100% right to want to take Louis from him and run to the other corner of the earth. Let alone kill him after that brutal beating. There is no ambiguity left. I can't see show Claudia as a manipulative little monster desperate for love. I see a younf vampire who can't control her powers but who wants to save her loved ones.

Yeah I 100% agree, I was willing to suspend disbelief about Claudia. Like Charlie thought she was still 14 so maybe that would still create road blocks to running away. Like can a 14 year old get a hotel room? Where does she put her coffin? Did she have to buy a new one? She doesn't know you can bury yourself in the earth so she COULD have been still lost and dependent bc of looking like a child but yeah they threw that away without a second thought.

And the thing is, in the books, Claudia maybe only indirectly dies because she ran away. But it's NEVER framed as "her fault she should have listened to Lestat". Armand killing her is something that both her dads take on as their own guilt. Claudia's death is always loustat's failure. The way Rolin Jones framed the SA it could be seen as a stand in for Claudia's death in a way, that "runs away -> gets hurt" but he clearly blamed her with his phrasing and that to me is disgusting and vile.

I agree that Bailey is awesome as Claudia, it's the writer's who dropped the ball and couldn't be normal about writing a female character. Her backstory is she was abused, she is never actually loved by one of her adopted fathers, she can't find romantic love, she runs away from home and is assulted, she watches her father/brother violently abused. The story they gave Claudia is just one of nonstop pain and I think the writers should sit down and evaluate why. And why the pains that she suffered in the books I guess "weren't dramatic enough". But Claudia is the gender dysphoria character and they basically stripped that one away big time for "child of abuse character"

[shapeshiftersvt]

Custom Cuts: The Relaxed Fit

Morning, shapeshifters! The votes are in, and the results are clear: y’all want to hear about everything. We’ll get right on that! First place by a narrow margin went to the Relaxed Fit, so here we are.

Let’s start with why we made it.

Over the years many, many people have asked us about exercise while binding. To this day figure skaters, dancers, roller derby skaters, wrestlers, acrobats, archers, horseback riders, and circus professionals of all types ask, essentially, the same question:

Anonymous said to shapeshiftersinc: Hi! I just stumbled across your business and was wondering if you could wear one of your binders while exercising. I’m a figure skater and dance trapeze artist and I really dig how your binders are fashionable as well as functional. If possible I thought they might be cool as a costume piece. Let me know what you think about binding + skating/trapeze. Thank you ~

p-x said to shapeshiftersinc: Hi! I’m a nonbinary college student studying dance, and I bind for dysphoria related reasons. However, I havent been able to bind as frequently lately because of my schedule involving dance (im basically dancing every day). I’ve always heard that it isnt safe to exercise or dance in a binder, so im curious what your take on it would be!! Maybe my current binders (not purchased from shapeshifters) just dont fit well enough to be comfortable for dance? Thanks!

Anonymous said to shapeshiftersinc: Are you binders appropriate to work out in? I do roller derby and I really don’t want to wear a sports bra because they don’t bind as well I’m trying to pass as male in a traditionally all-female sport. Thanks!

Anonymous said to shapeshiftersinc: I know I probably shouldn't but I'm really uncomfortable with my chest during sex and I was wondering if there is any way to wear some sort of binder????

In short: can I live my life while binding? Can I be comfortable with my body, while I’m doing something physical that pushes my body? Can I exercise and be present in myself and not dissociate? Can you give me permission to live in ways that make me happy?

When I started binding, the rule was: never exercise with a binder on. Never. Anytime you’re at the gym, jogging, swimming, anything? Take that binder off.

Nobody I knew actually followed that rule. We all told it to each other, reminded each other, gave half-ashamed admissions when we broke it: yeah, I know I’m not supposed to, but I have to. That rule was part and parcel of the martyrdom of chest binding. Even on days when I wore my 2011-era binder and hauled a 40-lb backpack across the city and did not, for whatever reason, feel pain afterwards, I still felt guilt! For setting a bad example, for not following The Rules.

It’s past time to be practical. We all have to live our lives. Carry backpacks through school. Go to work. Move house. Push a wheelchair. Breathe with asthma. Work at jobs with “must be able to lift 30-50lbs” in the description. Sing, LARP, commute by bike. We are navigating complicated and awesome and active lives. Here at Shapeshifters, we have always said that at the end of the day, you make the call on what’s best for your body and your life.

That said, our basic safety advisory remains the same: if it hurts, take it off. If you can’t breathe, take it off. During physical activity especially, it’s important to check in with yourself! Pause to stretch, take deep breaths, and ask: am I hurting and ignoring it? All safety guidelines for any kind of physical activity still apply while you’re binding. Living your life should not hurt.

That’s where the Relaxed Fit comes in.

I developed the first relaxed fit binder for myself to wear during yoga. It’s a quarter-size up within our fine-graded sizing system, which means it’s 1” greater in circumference. It never includes a stiff insert. This fit is a compromise: it doesn’t get me the kind of silhouette I want while wearing a button-down and a tie, but it holds everything still, and it lets me do a sustained 60-90 minutes of deep-breathing slow exercise without cramps or soreness. With a baggy T-shirt over it, I look the same as I do wearing my regular size.

For the record, it’s an Incredibly Gay Viper.

Customers who ordered a relaxed fit have reported back that it’s comfortable, sometimes to the point that they’ve forgotten they have it on. It’s been helpful for customers with asthma and EDS to bind without discomfort. Folks who swim in binders have given it good feedback, too.

As with all chest binders, it’s not a cure-all and it won’t work for everyone, but if you’re looking to bind and do some vigorous activities on the physical plane, I really recommend trying it out.

Here’s DW modeling a relaxed fit binder:

By contrast, in a standard fit with a stiff insert:

If you’d like your binder to be relaxed fit, check this box in your measurements form!

Finally, many of us (including me!) find that a side zipper is really useful for a quick release, at the end or in the middle of a workout. More on that over here, in our zipper masterpost.

Do you have a relaxed fit binder? Do you want one? Is there a question about it I didn’t cover? Let me know in the replies!

(This post is mirrored from our store blog, and based off of an earlier masterpost on this same tumblr.)