#and more like. annoying or pathetic

[spitblaze]

One day you will reach a point where someone will misgender you and instead of feeling the jab of disappointment or fear or mockery, you will only feel confusion or bewilderment or even just...nothing, whether you correct them or not. And you will realize how far you've come, and how resilient you've grown, how much comfortable you are in your own skin.

[mrmeepsmadmind]

they are ignoring my big beautiful pathetic himbo wife and his cute little platypus tail that he has for some tank part reason im too dumb to understand why

[riacte]

so hey guys i finished dungeon meshi yesterday and i'm still thinking about it

[oxventure-text-posts]

I'm gonna be honest with you guys, the urge to do the same thing I did with the oitd silhouettes, aka slap text posts onto the art with no knowledge of their canon personality other than what they did in the trailer and pulling from the fandom's perceived personality for them, for the new oxventure characters revealed in that trailer is so real

[thedreadvampy]

one thing I learnt recently is maybe my dad framing all his anger when I was a kid not as "you did a thing wrong" but "you did a thing wrong which PROVES you're incapable of being a Proper Adult and will never thrive in the Real World"

may

have had some effect on my self esteem

[jackass-jones]

To also go off of the point about cop!akihiko being annoying to me I gotta say that Akihiko as a character is very hit or miss with me because of how different adaptations of p3 will subtly alter his character. I felt like in portable with the femc route he comes off best, he’s a bit of a hothead with an obsession with fighting, but he’s overcompensating his strength so he doesn’t feel as weak and helpless as he’s been in many situations. He defines strength in a very literal sense, being physically strong and using that to protect others, but he’s lacking in emotional strength as a result. And in particular in this version I think he’s portrayed as a bit more goofy and sweet in a sense. He cares deeply for you as a friend and leader but he struggles with finding the words to describe how he feels. Hes kinda naive and gullible and has trouble noticing his surroundings. He has no clue what he’s doing but his heart is in the right place. I think he just comes off much more human and he has flaws, many many flaws, and that makes him all the more lovable

But then in other adaptations and spinoffs it’s like. They look at him through some hetero male bullshit filter and seem to view him as a lot more admirable and cool. Like in p3 dancing, theres literally an event where he’s talking with Junpei and Minato and they’re gushing about how perfect Akihiko is and how he doesn’t seem to have ANY flaws at all. And it becomes clear his inability to flirt with women just gets added as a way to make sure you, the Straight Male Player, don’t get insecure being next to such Perfection because at the end of the day, you’re still more charming and sexy than he will ever be because you’re better. It’s a “flaw” that’s only there to shield a sensitive male ego. And then in arena I mean, come on. He’s overly beefy and is a damn cop and travels the world and loves Protein™️ it’s his whole personality and he’s so clearly meant to be seen as hot but like, he’s just some shitty hetero male fantasy. Hes what the writers deem to be a Perfect Man that every guy wishes he could be, but don’t worry he’s still bad with women so you don’t gotta worry about him stealing your property- I mean, girlfriend!

And though I’ve not played reload and don’t really plan to anytime soon, judging from his social episodes they seem to have a similar problem. Akihiko comes off as a lot less approachable, like the year age gap is just too much of a barrier to get to know him properly. And he doesn’t have that dorky sweetness he has in portable, he’s just that perfect hetero male fantasy guy and don’t you fucking worry- he still has his protein powder with him

[dreadanddespairdyke]

innate lesbian feeling of wishing u had a dick so u can be the guy women r fantasizing abt sucking off and getting pounded by all the time. my feelings are universal . you understand .

[lucky-clover-gazette]

vent

did not expect kissing and realizing i’m lowkey dating a guy to send me down an existential spiral of reminding me that i have only one life to live and then i am going to die without living any other different lives

[gaymars97]

Holy shit i just remembered i never introduced tumblr to Betrayal au im gonna change that

So basically, in betrayal au, Maya doesn’t meet the raiders till much later. Before that happens, she also experiences way more betrayal trauma, assassination/murder attempts and overall discrimination than in canon. In fact, pretty much all she lived from interactions with other people ended up being negative, or at best, neutral, either on the short or long run.

So naturally, instead of being open to form new relationships, she starts to distance herself from others. (Cauz yk. Who would want to try to socialize again after over 27 years of perpetual negativity from people? You try keeping your cool after that) By the time she finally meets the raiders, things are different than in canon…

That was the short version. Long version is under the cut

(I shall post a part 2 on bl3 BAU cauz theres a few important things to say about her and if i cram it in here the post will just be. Interminable.)

When she gets on Pandora, instead of directly joining the raiders, Maya is instead approached by a different group of so called « vault hunters » who offer her to work together to open the vault.

As time passes and she gets to know her teammates, even though the betrayal from the order of the impending storm still deeply affects her emotionally, she learns to trust and care for those new friends.

(For reference, the impending storm plot twist™️ also happens earlier, so she also gets to pandora sooner)

Well surprise! Turns out this was a trap too! The « vh » team lured her into trusting them so they could get their hands on a siren, after all. Plan devised by a commander in Hyperion, fyi.

In an act of self defense, she had to kill the very people she thought she could trust. Once again, it wasn’t her who was welcomed with open arms in a family. This whole time, all they cared about were her powers.

Now, this had happened twice, and this time, she nearly died. A part of her did die that day.

Every time she trusted people, it was used against her.

And how about the strangers she had met so far, well, in her life? Either avoided her, visibly feared her or tried to kill her. At best, they just went on to live their day.

So, she started to believe that maybe she was doomed to be left behind every time she tried to follow others. To get hurt every time she showed vulnerability. To be hunted. Feared. Hated.

And can you blame her?

I mean, after all, when was the last time people genuinely cared about her?

…

Did that ever happen in the first place?

So, as Pandora just seems to keep proving her fears are justified, she learns to become distant.

After making the same mistake twice, she wasn’t going to let people deceive her again. Now she knew that if she wanted to reach her goal to learn about sirens, it wasn’t by entrusting others with her help.

At some point, the crimson raiders offer to team up. But she won’t let her guard down so easily now. She refuses. I mean, what’s stopping them to just take all the info they need from her hands once they don’t need her help anymore?

So, led by nothing but bits of info and a mysterious voice in her head (As much as she’s real hesitant to follow the advice of the so called « ai » talking to her somehow, she’s the best lead she’s got.), she leads a one woman hunt for the vault key.

But things don’t go exactly as planned (as always). The moment she’s finally close to get the thing, guess who shows up? That’s right! The crimson fucking raiders, and they want the key too!

Lilith confronts her. She gives her another chance to work together, but Maya just can’t take that kind of risk a third time. So, siren fight ensues, and things seem to be going well, until Lilith decides enough is enough and uses eridium. However, instead of killing the fellow siren, she knocks her out and gets her to sanctuary.

Held captive by the raiders (You can thank Lilith for that btw. Homegirl can’t get herself to kill a fellow siren just yet) a deal is eventually made (working with other people may be the last thing she’d do under normal circumstances, but she has no choice. They caught her.)

So against her own will, she learns to know the people she works with, thinking that after the key is acquired, she’s just get the info she needs and then fuck off. But once again. Didn’t go as planned. These guys are way more loveable than expected-

Goddamn it.

She has one hell of a crisis when she realizes that not only she’s feeling herself starting to care about those people, but that this odd feeling she has whenever she’s with the odd one who screams about meat might be romantic attraction. (And it is)

It takes time, but the raiders eventually prove to her that this time, it’s mutual. Things get better after that 💜

(She’s still more of a bastard than canon tho. All this time of the intimidating distant facade taught her how nice it feels to be a lil mean. As a treat)

Another noticeable trait is the massive scar she has on her face. It was inflicted by one of the members of the fake vh team the day of the betrayal (it still brings a load of bad memories and she hates it) I shall post how the scar looks pretty soon.

(Other note, i would like to thank @rando-lesbo210 because her Fallen Heirs au is what inspired the creation of Betrayal au)

[0zzysaurus]

I miss my cat you guys

[jrueships]

been finding out abt sauce gardner from scrolling through your blog and like,, there’s something seriously wrong and sooo compelling abt him like why does he want to fuck aaron rodgers sm…

HELDPF

i am SO glad i am ur 'wtf is that thing doing now' messenger of sauce. he is SO weird... just a weird girl forced to play football. im like obsessed. when ur skrungle is an absolute loser malefailure of a man. ugh. have this old art of sauce and joey b that i won't explain the context to, but yes. Pls join the sauce (gravy) train. We're all just watching him run off the rails bcs he wants to get railed. it's rlly an excursion

[maryasmorevna]

ah another j.onsa shipper who hates on dany on my dash... what's new

[maulfucker]

Star Wars oc time,, the most pathetic looking bounty hunter you'll ever hire

[feelingtheaster99]

I finally finished the end of the last season of Teen Wolf this week, and I almost wish I didn’t because I think the Season 6A plot would’ve been a better ending

[stellacadente]

i hope one day i'll be proud of how i do my job but it looks bleak i'm never fucking happy no matter how much i do and how much passion and effort i put into it and no matter that people have told me i'm fucking good and useful and important

[autisticlee]

I hate when I tell someone I miss them and try my best to reach out and they don't do anything about it. there's several people who were part of my life for a very short time who I really liked and enjoyed being around and doing things with. but those people leave so fast. and they never take me with them. they move on and don't keep me in their lives. to me they feel like "the right people" but i'm not their person, so they don't care or try. they make excuses about being busy. I tell them many times to let me know when they have time for me. let them know i'm here whenever they need someone to talk to or hang out with. let them know I want them in my life still and again. but they just say "thanks" and usually dont even agree to reach out to me. i'll try several times and give up. them years pass and I think about then again and reach out and it's the same thing. they reply a few times but make no effort to bring me into their life again or try to stay in mine.

these people always have partners so maybe that's why. maybe they think i'm being too "clingy" and they can't have a best friend and a partner living together at the same time. or don't have time for me and think I ask for too much. they can't figure out how to have a best friend and a partner. they don't understand how my aroace queer platonic weird ass works. i'm the only weirdo that doesn't have close friends or a partner and try to make them my best/closest friends. but they only want to prioritize their partners in their busy lives (or sometimes other best friends if they had friends before me) but this is just a guess. because its true everyone prioritizes their partners first before friends. and i'm not allowed to have a platonic partner if they already have a romantic partner. because society it weird and built against me.

it sucks so much because they're always people I feel super comfortable with. which is EXTREMELY RARE for me. they feel safe like a home i belong in???? we get along great. have stuff in common we do together. work well together. have similar future wants/goals. fit togther well in different ways. have a deep understanding (or it feels like we understand each other). they accept me for me and don't make me feel bad or uncomfortable things most people do. they help me out with things and are there for me when able.

and the best part is, they were always excited to see/talk to me. they'd reach out first. they'd invite me. they'd tell me they had fun and liked doing things with me and want to do it again and tell me about their excitement to hang out and stuff. it didn't feel one-sided like 99% of my relationships with other people. they'd make sure I was in their lives or choose/include me in whatever activity we shared together. I didn't have to do all the work and it felt comfortable and natural.

but it was always short lived. either they moved away, our shared activity ended, school ended, or they simply stopped talking to me one day and basically disappear. I don't know why they suddenly stop trying. but it's so hard for me. how cam things go so well and then just. nothing. they don't ignore other people. like their partners 😒 everyone is so obsessed with habing a partner. i'm never important enough for anyone. they could make my life so much better just by including me in theirs amd trying to be part of mine. but they just won't anymore. and I can't keep trying. I can't make them. but I miss them so much and want what we had back again because it's so rare in my life it's only happened like 2 or 3 times ever in my entire life. no matter how many times I reach out, it's the same every time and the more years that pass the less likely they'll ever come back. I don't know what to do besides give up 😭