#even the “right” people are not right!!!!!!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

We're going on an ass kicking adventure.

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[transmutationisms]

the biggest epistemological gap between me & 95% the rest of the world is literally just how much i love to look things up on the internet and how much it baffles me when other people don't like to do this. we live in the information age. like i'll google anything i'll read this bmj paper on the toilet i'll look up words i don't know i'll append pdf free to any possible phrase. i don't know how anybody is voluntarily turning this down. sometimes i get so tired of searchinf for something physically inside a store i pull out my phone and google like silken tofu aldi what fucking aisle while im standing right there. otherwise what is even the point

[teddy-bear-boi]

he had to deliver his complaints in person to the big man, completely understandable move.

the late pope was really liberal for pope standards and that was pretty cool and the next one will probably be less chill which is going to suck for Catholics so my sympathies for that.

but I think we can all admit that dying during the highest holiday of the Christian calendar after meeting an insufferable fascist catholic convert is such a power move. and a little funny. a guy so insufferable the leader of his church went "no i can't deal with this guy for four years".

[phantomrose96]

Actually I have a post I want to make about Property Value.

Which is a topic that comes up a lot in discussions of rich people hoarding wealth, in NIMBY panics, and in the ever-increasing prices of homes. But I don't think we talk much about how the perniciousness of property value goes deeper and basically holds middle class people who own a home hostage.

So to set some context here: in 2025 the median US home sold for $416,000. Say you have a working class family who can't meet median, but who scraped and saved and penny-pinched their way to a $300,000 home.

Typically, when buying a first home, you pay 20% down directly, and take 80% out as a mortgage from the bank. For this family, that means $60,000 of their liquid money (and let's say it took them 10-15 years to save that amount), and a $240,000 loan from the bank.

That's $240,000 in debt the family is. Which will be repaid over 30 years, with interest, at a rate that usually means for the lifetime of the loan, they end up paying back double the original loan.

However this massive $240,000 debt is generally considered "okay" debt to have, because it's backed by the house. If things go truly sour, the bank can take the house (and what's a little homelessness between friends).

That $60,000 the family put down is considered equity, and equity is money you "have", but isn't accessible.

Scenario: Now let's say something happens. Someone in the family loses their job, and the only job they can find requires moving. Or a family member across the country can't care for themselves anymore and so this family needs to move to be closer to them. The family gets divorced. Someone in the family is allergic to material in the home. Someone in the family is being stalked or abused and needs to leave the town. Anything at all, which would require selling the home and moving.

Case 1: The family is able to sell it for exactly what they paid (same property value, no increase or decrease). You would think the math is clean. They are paid $300,000 for the house. $240,000 repays the bank loan. The remaining $60,000 of equity goes right back to them. And they can use it (which took 10+ years to save up) to move across the country and buy a different $300,000 house.

Except no, it does not work like that.

The seller of a home is on the hook to pay commission to their realtor and the buyer's realtor. This is usually ~6% of the home value. They have to pay legal costs. There are taxes. There are miscellaneous costs. It can easily be 6-9% of the selling price of the house.

The bank NEEDS its $240,000 back. So those costs come from the equity. This family is not getting their $60,000 back. They're getting $30,000-$45,000, and now no longer enough money for a downpayment in their move. They're back to renting. Back to penny pinching. They can get by, but homeownership is now out of their grasp once more. Maybe in another 5 years, they'll have enough (unless home prices have increased too much by then) then they'll maybe never be homeowners again.

Case 2: The property value has DECREASED... Family is only getting offers in the $260,000 range.

If the family accepts a $260,000 sale, well $240,000 goes to the bank. This is genuinely non-negotiable. And that leaves.... maybe not enough money to even close on the house. Not enough to pay the realtors and the fees.

That $60,000 is wiped out, and the family is incapable of moving. Never mind losing 10+ years of savings--they're below $0. They don't have the money to close. It's financially impossible to sell. They are stuck with the mortgage. They are stuck with the house. (Maybe they'll rent it, if they can. And now they're landlords by circumstance, which is often NOT profitable when you're not a trust fund baby renting out a totally-paid-for no-mortgage home.) But whatever the case, they cannot sell it. And if the reason for selling was a job loss... well, they can be homeless soon. And if the property value dropped below $240,000, they can be homeless AND owe a bank debt. A $60,000 nest egg wiped completely out, with a bank debt owed on top of that.

So how do people avoid financial destitution when moving?

The most sensible answer is building up equity by paying down the loan--but it's important to know that mortgages are super interest heavy in the early life of the loan. With a 5% interest rate (BETTER, btw, than current rates) this family would be paying $15,460 the first year, and only $3,540.88 is actually chipping at that $240,000 principle. The other $11,919.59 was pure interest to the bank.

So after 1 year, the family went from having $60,000 equity in the house to $63,540.88 equity in the house. This buys a little extra wiggle room when juggling closing costs. But not very much. Even after 3 years, the family has just a little over $70,000 of equity, and just under $230,000 still left on the loan. So if the family has to move for any reason (sickness! death! job loss!) in those 3 years, it's probably financially devastating.

But there is a second answer to avoiding financial ruin: and that is Property Value going up.

Any amount of property value increase is PURE equity. The bank only cares about the amount of money it gave you. If after 3 years, that house is now worth (and can sell for) $315,000 (which is appreciation of only 1.6% a year. Most home appreciation is closer to 3%), that's more equity increase than they got from 36 diligent months of mortgage payment.

If they can sell for $315,000, pay $230,000 of that to the bank, that leaves $85,000. $25,000 goes to paying the realtors and the closing costs and.... the family is back to their $60,000 downpayment. Not trapped. Able to sell. Able to buy a new $300,000 home in the place they moved. Able to just maintain homeownership status.

But wait, if their home appreciated to $315,000, didn't all the other homes do the same, so now $60,000 isn't enough

Smart eye, lad! You've identified why this is a TERRIBLE rat race for the people scraping money together to live, and is ONLY a profitable leisure activity for rich people who sell homes like collectables.

Now because the increase is pure equity, a similar family with decent property value increase can funnel that extra equity into affording to meet the new higher down payment (remember the downpayment is only 20%, so even if the new place is similarly higher in property value, you only need to match that increase 20% for the downpayment). Which gets their foot in the door. But now their new mortgage is higher than the old one. More expensive. More interest.

But there is a losing scenario here--if home property values increased everywhere else, but not where you live. Then this family is back to surrendering homeownership. Because even if they can sell their place, they can't buy the next home.

It forces them to care about their own Property Value increase because, if it doesn't increase while everywhere else does, it traps them.

So what do I mean by all this

If the value of all homes dropped 50% overnight, I assume most people here would celebrate. Affordable homes! Rich people upset and crying! So much to love.

But in reality, that 50% drop would likely continue to mean no home for most of us, because the people who could sell you the homes would be financially incapable.

For the family above with the $240,000 mortgage, that mortgage does not reach halfway-paid-off until year 20 of the 30 year mortgage (remember the interest frontloading). If a family still owes $230,000 in bank loans on a place that can only sell for $150,000, they can't sell it to you. That house is the bank's collateral securing the loan. Their mortgage is underwater. They're trapped. They cannot sell it. You cannot have it.

Something similar happened in the 2008 subprime mortgage crisis, and the only people who got out okay were ones who could stay the course, keep making the mortgage payments, and wait it out long enough for property value to recover.

Those who couldn't got foreclosed on. Those who couldn't were left in financial devastation.

So in conclusion?

Banks profit off of mortgages. Rich people profit off of hoarding housing stock and selling it as the property value increases. Real estate companies profit off of home sales. And the regular people, who managed to achieve home ownership, are shackled to the price-go-up system to avoid financial ruin. They're forced to care about their property value because it is the singular determinant of whether they're trapped in place, whether they'll be okay if they lose their job, whether they could move due to an important life event.

It's a profit system for the rich where the cogs are middle class people who could achieve homeownership, running a machine where every single crank locks the poorer and younger generations out of home ownership forever.

[veal-exe]

I saw a post earlier, I will not be appending my response to that post to the post itself, but I did want to touch upon it.

The post was about how trans men and transmasculine people afab don't have any media tropes that are, we'll say, problematic for them, the way that the 'funny man in a dress' trope is trans-misogynistic, I wanted to discuss that and lay that claim to rest.

Below I will be discussing some tropes in media that affect trans masculine people afab. Some may be worse than others, some accidental, some maybe on purpose, but I've compiled them because I think it's important to understand that just how the harmful tropes aimed at masculine people afab do exist, they just differ in their execution.

DISCLAIMER: If I have worded anything poorly in this post please tolerate it, English is my fourth language and it can be overwhelming to attempt linguistic perfection or the performance of it for native English Speaker.

EDIT: tumblr really messed my layout and formatting up, sorry for that but I'm not fixing it unless I really need to.

1. “Tomboy Gets a Makeover” = Suddenly She’s Worth Something (AKA: Now She’s Fuckable)

This one’s everywhere. You’ve got a character who’s rough around the edges, usually wears hoodies, maybe doesn’t shave, maybe doesn’t even care what people think. And the story punishes her for that. Until someone (usually a fairy godmother or mean girl turned ally) shoves her into a dress, puts some gloss on her lips, straightens her hair...

and then she’s finally seen as beautiful, desirable, and valid.

The core message? Your masculinity is temporary, and your value doesn’t actually exist until you conform to traditional femininity. You weren’t lovable, datable, or even visible until you softened up and got pretty.

This trope tells young people AFAB:

You're not enough unless you perform femininity

Your gender nonconformity is a flaw to fix

If you're not seen as sexy in the "right" way, you're invisible

And this sticks. Especially for transmascs, who grew up seeing their natural instincts or styles treated like a before picture.

Examples:

The Princess Diaries – Mia goes from “invisible frizzy nerd” to prom-queen level once her hair is flat and her legs are waxed.

A Cinderella Story – Sam’s baggy clothes are treated like a shield for her insecurity, until she shows up in a dress and suddenly earns male attention.

The Breakfast Club – Allison is artsy and weird and quietly masc... until she’s quite literally pink-washed and given a makeover so she can be datable.

She's All That – Laney is cool and self-possessed in her own way, but the movie waits until she’s in a red dress and contacts to take her seriously.

Meteor Garden – Shan Cai’s toughness is tolerable, but she’s still only framed as truly “lovable” after being softened through male attention.

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2. “She Pretended to Be a Boy” = She’s a Lying Snake Whore

When characters AFAB dress or live as boys, it’s almost always framed as deception. Not survival. Not autonomy. Not self-expression. Just trickery. There’s a dramatic “reveal” scene where everyone suddenly feels betrayed, like the character has been scheming the whole time instead of just…

living. Sound familiar?

This isn’t just about fiction. It directly echoes how transmasc people are treated in reality, as liars, as fake men, as threats to those around them just by existing. The idea that someone AFAB could be masculine, or just a guy, is treated like a trap set for unsuspecting cis people.

The underlying message:

You can’t be trusted if you present as masculine

Your gender is a mask, a trick, a crime

If people liked you before, they were duped

it’s the same logic used to justify violence and exclusion towards Transmasculine people AFAB in reality.

Examples:

She’s the Man – Viola pretends to be her brother to play soccer, but it’s all “uh-oh she has boobs” humor. Her gender presentation is the punchline.

The King’s Affection – She lives as the crown prince and does a damn good job, but the tension constantly hinges on whether she’s tricking people by being there at all. Masculinity is okay only if it’s secret and painful.

Coffee Prince – Go Eun-chan presents as male to get a job, and instead of critiquing the system that forces her to do it, the narrative focuses on her guilt and “the reveal.” Masculinity is tolerated, but never fully respected.

Victor/Victoria – Gender is treated as a clever disguise. The moment someone finds out “the truth,” it’s all shock, betrayal, and drama. Queerness framed as a con.

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3. “It’s Just a Phase” = You’ll Be a Real Girl���️ Eventually

You can be a tomboy for now. Run around, get messy, be loud. It’s even kind of cute! As a little kid who needs to grow up. Then suddenly, your masculinity isn’t just childish! it’s a problem. Something to “grow out of.” Something to fix!

This trope trains audiences to see AFAB masculinity as:

Immature

A quirk of childhood

A stepping stone to real femininity

And what does “real girlhood” mean in this context? Dresses. Lip gloss. Boys. The implication is that your value kicks in when you start performing the kind of femininity that makes you palatable and desirable. You were allowed to be wild for a minute, but only if you clean up nice later.

It reinforces the same tired message: Girlhood = destination, not a choice. Masculinity is just the wrong stop on the way. If you are Transmasculine AFAB, you are a child who should grow up, immature, being treated as much younger than they are is a huge issue with transmasculine people AFAB.

I would like to add that this is also a misogynistic trope, but misogyny intersects with transandrophobia in ways that are valid to talk about.

Examples:

The Parent Trap – Annie and Hallie are opposites, but Hallie (tomboy-coded) only really “settles down” and softens once she’s back with her mom. Her rougher edge is charming but temporary.

Now and Then – Roberta is the tomboy of the group, and her Big Moment of Growth™ comes when she puts on a dress. Not solving childhood trauma. Not emotional healing. The dress.

Boys Over Flowers – Jan-di is scrappy, resilient, athletic! and then she falls for the male lead and gradually loses every bit of that fire. By the end, she’s quiet, deferential, and soft. like that’s her natural arc.

Hi My Sweetheart– Rainie Yang’s character starts out masc-presenting and bold. She’s mocked, corrected, and eventually “fixed” into a soft, pink, cutesy girl. Her makeover isn’t for her. it’s the narrative giving her permission to be “dateable.”

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5. “One of the Boys” But Never Really One of the Boys

She’s tough. She’s cool. She fights. She hangs with the guys. She might even burp. But make no mistake! she’s never actually allowed to be one. This trope gives characters AFAB just enough masculinity to seem "interesting," then punishes them if they go too far with it.

Again, this is also a misogynistic trope, but the intersectionality here is important even in the ones that don't seem obvious, some people will poke fun at me putting Natasha here for example, but if you do that you're misunderstanding my intent and I do not care for it.

I am not saying ANY of these characters are coded transmasculine, I am discussing how masculinity is treated in regards to characters AFAB.

The message is clear: You can borrow masculinity, but don’t get comfortable in it.

These characters:

Get constant reminders that they're different

Are sexualized, softened, or sidelined the moment they get too close to “boyish”

Exist to complement the boys, not compete with them

Examples:

Avengers – Natasha Romanoff is deadly, competent, cool under pressure, but also constantly shoved into the “team mom” or “sexy redhead with feelings” role. Her backstory centers around forced sterilization, and her arc in Age of Ultron literally says she’s a “monster” for not being able to have kids. Tell me again how she’s treated like “one of the guys.”

How to Train Your Dragon – Astrid starts out as the alpha fighter, but as soon as Hiccup grows up, she becomes a background girlfriend with no arc of her own. Her sharp edge gets smoothed into supportiveness.

My Hero Academia – Nearly every tough AFAB character gets undercut. Mirko is badass but exists on the fringes. Jirou gets development, but only as support. Bakugo’s mom is comic relief. Meanwhile, male characters are allowed complex, messy, powerful arcs without ever needing to "soften" for the audience.

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“AFAB Character Learns to Embrace Womanhood” = Moral Victory!

You start with a tough, scrappy, masculine-coded person AFAB, maybe she fights, maybe she’s emotionally shut down, maybe she just doesn’t want to be like other girls. It doesn't matter, this is how it ends:

She softens. She submits. She “grows” by becoming a wife, a mom, a love interest, a Real Girl™️.

This isn’t healing. It’s containment. The message is: your rebellion was cute, but it’s time to settle down and accept the role assigned to you.

“Growth” = compliance. “Strength” = giving it up. “Maturity” = pink, dresses, and a baby carriage.

Examples:

The Hunger Games – Katniss Everdeen is trauma-coded, masc-leaning, and uncomfortable with romance or traditional femininity. So what’s her ending? A baby epilogue where she’s in a dress, quietly settled into nuclear family life. Is she happy about it? No, but there's no denying that this is her ending.

Mulan II– In the original, she challenges gender roles and becomes a literal war hero. In the sequel? The plot revolves around her needing to prove she can still be soft, feminine, and wife-material. Her masculinity is not allowed to just exist.

Jojo Rabbit – Rosie (the mother) is framed as the ideal woman: warm, loving, feminine. Meanwhile, Elsa (a girl in hiding) starts out guarded and hard-edged, but only becomes “redeemed” once she softens and embraces traditional femininity.

A Silent Voice / Koe no Katachi – The narrative constantly punishes her for not being “nice enough,” and her arc only begins to shift once she becomes more demure and apologetic. She cannot be both a good person and brash or hotheaded, submit or be branded evil.

Inuyasha – Sango is introduced as a demon-slaying warrior. But her story ends in the most vanilla way possible: marriage, motherhood, and sidelining. She loses her edge completely. I hate the end of Inuyasha so much it is borderline a meme in my circles.

Fruits Basket - Uotani is tall, tomboyish, and used to be in a girl gang. She has strength, history, and depth. And then her “big growth moment”? Realizing she wants to be softer and more ladylike, because femininity is treated as the finish line within the story.

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“Masculine Presentation” = Joke Costume or Moral Failure

When characters AFAB wear suits, cut their hair short, or pass as masc in any way, media rarely lets it land without a laugh track, or a moral consequence.

Masculine presentation is treated as:

A silly costume

A failed experiment

A sign of monstrosity

Or something to be shamed out of.

The story makes sure you feel embarrassed for them. It invites the audience to laugh, cringe, or judge, because “girl in boy clothes” is still a punchline in mainstream media. Just like 'Boy in girl clothes' is.

And yes, this hurts trans women, but it also absolutely targets butch, GNC, and transmasc folks. Masculinity is marked as wrong on AFAB bodies, funny if temporary, disgusting if permanent.

Examples:

Scooby-Doo – Velma’s masc coding (short hair, flat clothes, practical shoes) constantly becomes the joke. If she dresses even more masc? She’s “mistaken” for a man and ridiculed. Her queerness and presentation are treated like a quirk at best, a problem at worst.

The Suite Life of Zack and Cody – London Tipton wears a single masc outfit and the laugh track explodes. The outfit itself isn’t weird, but the show acts like the sight of her in anything non-feminine is a cosmic-level joke.

Friends – Rachel and Monica wear tuxedos in one episode, and the joke is entirely that it looks “wrong.” Chandler mocks them, the camera lingers on how “awkward” they look.

iCarly – Sam dresses masc semi-regularly, and is constantly mocked for acting “like a guy.” In interviews, actress Jennette McCurdy has said this ongoing joke contributed directly to her eating disorder relapse. This is not harmless.

Matilda - Miss Trunchbull is heavily masc-coded: big build, short hair, no makeup, harsh voice. She’s a literal villain, and her appearance is meant to be scary. Her masculinity is associated directly with her monstrosity.

Aikatsu! – Girls in suits are used as performance shock value. “Omg, a girl in a tuxedo??” is the whole joke.

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IN CLOSING.

These tropes don’t exist in a vacuum.

they shape how people see us, and how we see ourselves.

When characters AFAB exploring masculinity are only ever jokes, villains, phases, or tragedies, it sends a message: You don’t get to be this. You’re only allowed to visit. And when you're done, you better come back “correct.”

But we’re not punchlines. We’re not broken girls. Some of us are boys.

Some of us are neither.

Some of us are just butch as hell and happy about it.

We deserve stories where we aren’t corrected. Where masculinity on AFAB people isn’t a phase, a disguise, or a joke. But our lives, and the truth of them.

[ari-ana-bel-la]

Hello! If you’re still accepting requests, would you write about Lando and his daughter and he always dresses them in matching outfits since she was a baby? Thanks!

Matching Outfits

The sun had just started rising over the circuit, casting a golden hue over the paddock. The usual buzz was already beginning to build: mechanics setting up, team members running around with coffees in hand, and media beginning to trickle in. But that morning, one figure stood out more than anyone else.

Lando walked into the paddock with a soft smile on his face, one hand pushing a sleek black stroller, the other adjusting the hood of his pastel pink hoodie. A matching pink baby bow peeked from under the stroller's blanket. Only a few people noticed at first, but the moment word got around, the drivers started appearing from every corner.

"Mate," Carlos said, jogging up beside him, wiping his hands on a napkin. "Is this the debut I think it is?"

Lando grinned. "Yep. She's finally here."

He carefully peeled back the stroller's blanket, revealing a tiny sleeping Yn, dressed in a pink onesie with a mini Quadrant logo embroidered on the chest and an oversized bow that nearly swallowed her forehead.

Carlos face melted. "No way. No actual way. She looks like a little cupcake. Look at her!"

Lando chuckled. "She drooled on the last outfit, so we had to switch to the emergency one. This is version 2.0."

Oscar appeared next, eyebrows raised. "You actually did it. The matching outfits thing."

Lando looked mock-offended. "You doubted me?"

"No, no! I expected it. I just didn’t expect it to be this cute."

Yn stirred slightly in the stroller, a tiny fist poking out from under the blanket. The drivers leaned in instinctively.

"She’s so small," murmured Charles, crouching beside the stroller.

"She’s three months. That’s still pocket-size," Lando whispered proudly. "Her main activities include eating, napping, and making me late because I get too distracted dressing her."

"How many outfits do you have for her?" George asked, peering down with a soft smile.

"Too many. But not enough," Lando answered with zero guilt. "I ordered custom onesies in every color hoodie I own. And I have more on the way."

Carlos snorted. "So what you're saying is you’ve created a fashion dynasty."

Lando smirked. "I’m building an empire."

The next race weekend, it was green.

Lando strutted into the paddock in a sage green hoodie with matching joggers. Yn sat contentedly in a baby carrier strapped to his chest, wearing a tiny green romper with little frog socks and a matching headband.

"You planned this," Alex said, pointing.

"Of course I did."

"You realize she has no idea what she's wearing, right?"

"Doesn’t matter," Lando grinned. "She’ll thank me when she’s older and sees the pictures."

"Or she’ll roll her eyes."

"Even better."

Yn, completely oblivious to the conversation, giggled and tried to gum Lando’s hoodie string.

"Hey, hey, no eating daddy’s hoodie," he cooed, lifting her tiny hand to kiss it. She squealed in return.

Pierre walked over, holding a coffee. "Alright, what’s the color this weekend?"

"Green," George answered, pointing at the duo. "Obviously."

Pierre leaned in, eyes widening as he looked at Yn. "Every week she gets cuter. It’s unfair."

Lando smiled. "It’s the power of good accessories."

By the third race, it was orange. Not just any orange, McLaren papaya orange.

Yn wore a handmade onesie in the team’s signature color, soft and breathable, with a tiny patch on the sleeve that read: Daddy’s #1 Fan. She even had socks with little steering wheels on them.

As Lando entered the motorhome, carrying her on his hip, the whole team melted.

"She’s our good luck charm," one of the mechanics said.

"She needs a team badge," added another.

"Already on it," Lando said, producing a tiny laminated card from his pocket. "She’s officially honorary team baby."

Yn responded by sneezing loudly and then blowing a raspberry.

"She speaks!" Carlos shouted, pretending to fall back in mock awe.

"Her first words will probably be ‘downforce,’" Charles joked.

"Or ‘Daddy stop matching me,’" Oscar added.

Lando rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide the smile. "You’re all jealous."

That night in the hotel, Lando sat cross-legged on the bed, baby monitor on one side, tiny piles of pastel onesies spread out before him.

"Okay," he muttered, holding up two outfits. "Tomorrow’s color theme. Sunshine yellow or lilac?"

Yn, lying in her bassinet and gnawing on a teething ring, offered no comment.

"Right. Lilac it is. You are such a smart baby, darling."

Each morning became a little ritual. Lando would wake up, feed her, change her, and then pull out their matching outfits for the day. The more he did it, the more he fell in love with the little moment of connection they shared, even if she couldn’t understand it yet.

Every cuddle, every gummy smile, every sleepy coo made the long nights and early mornings worth it.

And every weekend, more of the paddock caught on.

Seb came by once just to bring a knitted cardigan for Yn in Ferrari red.

"Not subtle," Lando said.

"She needs options," Seb replied with a wink.

Even Kimi gave her a tiny pair of racing gloves. "Too big now. She’ll grow."

"Thanks, Ice Man," Lando said, genuinely touched.

"Bwoah, don’t call me that."

During a rainy weekend, Lando dressed them both in little waterproof jackets in pastel purple. Yn had tiny boots (more decorative than functional), and Lando kept her tucked against his chest as they walked through the paddock.

Media snapped photos, but Lando was always careful, always keeping her face tucked safely away.

He didn’t want the world to have her. Not yet. Not fully.

Yn was his world. His quiet, peaceful world in the middle of racing chaos.

Every night, before bed, he whispered the same thing into her tiny ear:

"You’re my whole universe, little star."

She’d gurgle back, a tiny hand wrapping around his finger.

And that was all he needed.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Authors Note: Hey loves. I hope you enjoyed reading this story. My requests are always open for you!

-💚🐍

[bluukive]

Eyes On You

summary - you finally decide to give the gym a go, getting yourself involved with a man who's dead set on pushing you to your limits

wc - 5.4k

content - MDNI, insecure!reader x gymowner!Sukuna, mentions of weight, Sukuna's harsh at first, eventual mutual pining, solo mast. (m + F, separate), 0ral (f receiving), face s;tting, handj0b, slight body worship, submissive reader, freaky in the gym shower (anyone could hear them...but no one does?), teasing, hella unrealistic, really amateur writing like please I'm cringing so hard

an - uhm I've never written a mini fic before !! please excuse the awkward writing

Lazily proofread by me mb

It took all the courage you had to even think about signing up to the gym that opened down the road, but the little voice in the back of your head was telling you to go. Just check it out, it said. Walk around a little, and then right back out. Shouldn’t be hard, right?

Right?

Wrong. How wrong you were. It was easier said than done in hindsight, but you didn’t expect the heavy thud of rock music to blare throughout the facility until you felt your bones tremble. Nor did you expect large gaggles of gym bros swarming around the equipment, a few heads turning the moment you pushed open the glass door. Sure, there were enough women there also, but not enough to deter you from yanking the drawstrings of your hoodie. Your vision became obstructed as the hood tightened around your face, whispered curses leaving your lips.

“Shit, shit, shit,” you muttered, eyes darting side to side as the social anxiety set in. You were close to turning around on your heel and out of this building, leg already twitching. But a low, gravelly voice called out to you from beside a water fountain you were unfortunately standing too close to. 

“Lost? Nervous? Which one is it, girl?��

You don’t know how you missed this giant of a man, especially when his cropped, pink hair made him stick out like a sore thumb. Some strands were plastered to his sweaty forehead and concealed the judgement of his stare. Barely. His tank top also did a poor job of hiding those hulking muscles, flexing slightly with full veins as he gripped his water bottle. Looks like you caught him mid-workout. Oh, and you’re gawking like an idiot.

Nice going. 

“Are you deaf or something? Speak up already,” the stranger clicked his tongue impatiently, and you internally panicked. You wondered whether manifestation was real and if you could will for the stranger to just explode. Actually, make it the entire room. An embarrassed grimace appeared on your face as you realised you had the attention of a couple of people on you.

“Uh, no. No, I’m not deaf. Just looking around,” you began to explain, undoing the drawstrings of your hoodie once you realised how utterly stupid you must have looked. But then the stranger gave you a grimace of his own, lips quirking up as his eyes landed on your dishevelled hair. You looked like a mess. 

Way to go. Now you can’t show your face in public. And yes, it really was that deep.

And so you smoothened your hair out and plastered an overly enthusiastic grin on your face to compensate for the fact you couldn’t socialise. “Where do I sign up?”

He snorted, a sceptical brow raised as he checked out your incredibly outdated attire. “You want to sign up?” 

You nodded. Fuck, you weren’t even meant to say that. The urge to slap a hand over your forehead grew tenfold, but you fought it.

A shaky breath left you as you gave in to that little voice reminding you that no, you didn’t fit into those jeans you’ve had your eyes on for a while. No, your mom hadn’t stopped making comments about your body and lack of love life. 

“...Yes, please,” you said after a beat of silence, and that was that. Sukuna, who was apparently a trainer, led you through the whole process. Sign this, read that, fork over some of your wage. You know, the typical procedure. The new you was coming very soon, you told yourself after internally crying over the money spent. You’ll buy those jeans in no time.

═══════★

“Sloppy fuckin’ form, girl. Sharpen up,” Sukuna barked, circling around you like a goddamn hawk. 

Oh, you swore you were going to quit that gym soon. He had been riding your ass for the past couple of weeks, pushing you further than you’ve ever pushed yourself. Sukuna called you out on your bullshit that first day when you tried hiding in the corner with your phone out, coaxing you onto a mat and making you stretch. Since then, Sukuna kept an eye on you, making sure you were red-faced by the end of the workout. 

A sharp click of his tongue brought you back from your thoughts. You groaned, raising your hips from the floor and spreading out your limbs. You were currently doing a plank, which appeared to be dissatisfactory in Sukuna’s eyes. 

“I’m doing it, I’m doing it,” you hissed, head tilting up as best as you could so that you may glare at your tormentor. A scoff left his lips.

“Yeah, you’re as intimidating as fuckin’ pebble right now. Head down.”

Your head dropped reluctantly. The quiet grunt you accidentally let out didn’t escape the trainer, but he wasn’t about to soften up. Neither were you out of sheer stubbornness. 

However, the burn in your thighs and arms became more noticeable. An ‘oof’ sound left your lips as your jellied arms buckled and you face-planted the floor. Another tut and more chuckles from the other members scattered in the gym. 

“Take five,” Sukuna couldn’t help but roll his eyes at you. 

A dismissive noise left you as you remained face-down on the floor, Sukuna’s fading footsteps and mutters of annoyance filling your reddening ears. Your face burned. 

Swallow your pride and quit, the voice in your head mocked. 

But two weeks in? You couldn’t. Not when you had stupidly formed a grudge against Sukuna for pushing you so hard too early on. You shook your head and got back into form, lower lip jutting out in sheer determination. You were completely unaware of the approving nod from the other end of the room.

═══════★

Walking was simply out of the question today. You threw the covers off and gritted your teeth at the way your legs throbbed with each shift of your body. 

It had been maybe five sessions since you had face-planted the floor in front of Sukuna. It didn't look like he'd ease up any time soon after that incident. In fact, he grew meaner. That apparently made you like him more.

The mere thought of him made you shrivel up in bed and grimace, but you couldn’t fight the slight inkling of attraction you felt towards him, slight being an understatement.

It was bound to happen eventually, right? You'd be stupid not to be attracted to him. Each muscle looked like it had been carved right out of stone. Hell, now that you think about it, it was probably also those unamused looks he was throwing your way that made you keep going back to that cursed gym. 

You were there now after hyping yourself up in the mirror back home. Not for too long, though. One look at your chest flailing around was enough to make you curl your lip and shrug on that tacky pair of sweats and hoodie you liked to work out in. You skipped breakfast and settled on a shitty cereal bar you found in your kitchen. It wasn't the best thing to do, but you were set on losing weight. 

The air reeked, to be frank. It was the first thing you noticed after walking into the gym. Testosterone and sweat mixed with a strong hit of regret. Regardless, you pushed through and continued shuffling on your boneless legs. You set your bag down in some lonely corner and mentally prepared yourself for Sukuna to berate you about God knows what. It was something new every time you came here. 

“Told your stubborn ass to stretch after the workout,” he drawled once he sauntered over, an amused look on his face. “Just had to stomp out like a little brat, didn’t you?”

“That's not true. I just wanted to go home and shower,” you scoffed in response. But Sukuna didn’t reply. Instead, he raised a brow that screamed oh, really? You could feel the back of your neck prickle with an uncomfortable heat as he stared you down. 

And then he walked off. Asshole.

“So fucking weird. I mean, who does that?” you rambled to no one, getting in form and raising your arms over your head as you stretched. The slight sting of your muscles being used was actually rather welcome for once. 

═══ Later ═══

By the time you were done, you were warm and sweaty. Sukuna hadn’t spoken to you much today, too busy chewing out a new member of the gym. Poor dude, you thought. But at least it wasn't you. 

This gave you time to look in the mirror, a poor habit of yours. Your eyes cast over your body agonisingly slow as you checked for any changes in physique. Little bursts of cool air hit your flushed skin when you lifted your t-shirt with one hand slightly to inspect yourself, the other hand fanning your face. You then sighed, running a hand over your hip. 

“The fuck are you doing?” 

A garbled yelp left you as you dropped your top and looked at Sukuna from the mirror without turning around. His red eyes were trained at your hip, and he looked almost disappointed at the fact that your clothes had covered again. You whizzed around and stood there stiff. A pause, and then you were wondering why the hell your mouth was starting to run. 

“Nothin’. None of your business,” you chuckled nervously, hands clenching at your sides. “Just checking progress.” 

“Yeah, ‘cus that’s the only reason why you cop a feel of your own body after every session looking like a kicked puppy,” Sukuna’s eyes remained lidded, flicking between the mirror and you. 

“Oh, cmon. I look nothing like a kicked puppy-”

“Yeah, you do. Every single time.”

“You're watching me like some perv-”

“And what?”

You paused and inhaled deeply, a stupid smirk appearing on Sukuna's lips as you grew increasingly frustrated with him. “Will you at least let me finish my sentence?”

“No can do. Wanna explain yourself?” He asked, beefy arms folding over his chest. You had to forcefully drag your eyes away from the slight jiggle of his pecs, your body reacting similarly to that of a Victorian male seeing an ankle for the first time. 

“Eyes up here. Talk to me,” Sukuna repeated, softer this time. Your hands fiddled with each other as you debated whether to open up to this hothead. It was likely that he'd a) make fun of you, or b) propose on the spot and fawn over how perfect you were (extremely unlikely, but a girl could dream).

Sukuna watched as your lips parted and the lie tumbled out of your mouth since it was easier than telling the truth.

“Just stretching.”

An unimpressed grunt rumbled in the man's chest. “Bullshit, but keep telling yourself that.”

“Tch. What else am I doing then?”

“Fuck knows, but quit it. That's not healthy,” a finger jabbed at your forehead, and you swatted his hand away without thinking. Your chest tightened slightly. Was that genuine concern?

Sukuna saw your reluctance to accept his words, making him shoot a deadpan look your way. “I'm being serious. Stop grabbing at yourself before I throw a dumbbell at the mirror,” he scolded, narrowed eyes boring into yours.

“I see you busting your ass every time you're here. You may not think I notice it, but I do. Trust me. Do you really think I’d push someone so hard if I didn’t see something in them?”

He was speaking to you like a trainer now, but you could hear some of his own personal feelings slip through the cracks. It made your throat feel tighter. 

“To be honest, I didn't think you'd see,” you mumbled, swallowing the lump in your throat and wiping your increasingly sweaty hands on your t-shirt.

“Well, I have. Now, stop touching your hips like that. They're fine,” he scolded. Sukuna didn't even wait for a reply as he walked off, probably to slap the back of someone's head again.

For the first time that day, your body felt less heavy. 

And you could confidently meet your eyes in the mirror again. 

═══════★

With your eyes fluttering shut, you shifted and lay on your back whilst reminiscing on Sukuna's words. Maybe it was your memory playing tricks on you, but you swore his eyes lingered on your body in an appreciative way. Maybe he saw more in you than you had ever seen in yourself. But realistically, maybe you were that attention deprived that you were making up scenarios to feel special. 

An exasperated groan left you as you rubbed your face in your hands, heat creeping up onto your cheeks yet again. Honestly? You couldn't remember the last time you felt so whipped over someone before. It had been just under a month since you joined that gym, and Sukuna was already plaguing your every thought. 

It's not like Sukuna was your teacher or anything. You were both legal adults. Yeah, maybe you were just some stubborn brat who frequented his gym. But that didn't mean you couldn't feel anything for him. 

But why did you feel guilty? Was it the way he was so uncaring yet so observant at the same time that made you feel this way? Or was it the fact that you saw yourself as unworthy of this arousal?

Regardless, you could feel your cunt beginning to ache. You tried relieving it by squeezing your thighs together, but it was useless. The muscles in your body still felt tight, and the effects of the gym lingered. God, why couldn’t you escape him?

Slick noises filled the bedroom not long after you began questioning your whole dynamic with Sukuna. Yes, it was deeply embarrassing and you’ll surely regret it later. But right now, the sensation of your fingers rubbing tight circles over your clit was too pleasurable to ignore. 

With each ashamed jerk of your hips as you lay there, the plush skin of your thighs shook as you raised it slightly and bent your knee. Even though you lived alone and no one was around to hear you, you bit into your fist to conceal the plethora of needy mewls and gasps falling from your lips. The towel had come undone, exposing the curves of your writhing body. The cool air contrasted deliciously with the wet heat between your parted legs. Now that your breasts were free, the hand at your mouth moved lower so that you lazily brush a couple fingers over a hardened nipple. 

But the moment you did that, existential dread crept over you and you withdrew your hand. Self-consciousness hit you like a ton of bricks and you sat up abruptly, face burning at the fact that you were getting off at the thought of some musclehead at the gym. Your eyes fluttered down, unfocused and blurry from denying yourself of an orgasm. You guessed it was time for another shower. Maybe that’d wash the shame off of you. 

═══════★

After a few days of ignoring the urge to go to the gym, you gave in and dragged yourself out of your home. There’s no way you could look at Sukuna in the eye now. That was one of the many thoughts whizzing round your head as you kept your eyes low and headed to your usual corner of the gym. You could smell the lecture coming from the pink-haired man from a mile away, and boy, you were right. 

You were barely done with your first warmup set when you heard his gruff voice cut through the blaring music. He was not amused. 

“You suuure took your sweet time coming back, Sick of working out already?”

And that’s when you froze. Your heart quite literally dropped to your ass once you managed to stand up straight, but your eyes remained on the mat below you both. 

“Was busy, that’s all,” which was a bold lie. He could tell.

“Hm,” Sukuna began. “Looks like you were too busy to even do your stretches properly.”

A thick set of fingers met your back, the digits pressing into your spine so that your posture was correct. An awkward noise left your lips at the contact.

“Straighten up. At this rate, you won’t even be able to workout because of body pains.”

But that was the least of your problems. Fantasies of his hands coaxing your thighs open and his tongue doing unspeakable things to you filled your mind, causing you to move back sharply. You cleared your throat, noticing again the displeased look on Sukuna’s face.

“I didn’t think you’d care if I turned up or not,” you admitted sheepishly, a bold assumption on your end.

A low, hum of laughter rumbled in his chest, which quite frankly did nothing to soothe the steady pulsing between your thighs. “Oh, I don’t. I just don’t want to be losing out on money through your absence.”

Ouch. 

Your head turned, and he saw the mildly offended look on your face. His words were just enough to make you forget about the heat of his body as he walked around slowly to stand in front of you. 

“I’m kidding, i'm kidding. Mostly," he borderline purred. "Is everything okay, though? You’ve been ignoring me more than you usually do,” Sukuna cocked his head to the side, and you wondered how he could sound both amused and irritated at the same time.

A short huff left your lips, almost sounding amused. If only he knew why you had been avoiding him.

“Nah, everything’s good. Just working out, y’know. Like a normal person would.”

Sukuna’s lip quirked up again, a stupidly attractive habit he had when he felt playful. “Riiiight. If that’s the case, stop lookin’ at me like I’ve fucked your life up or something.”

Your brows furrowed as you struggled to keep your eyes on him. The fuck did he know?! But that frantic look on your face didn’t stop him from running that mouth of his. 

“Oh, but who knows? I might have already. And in that case?” he let his voice drop down a couple of notches, leaning forward until you could practically taste his aftershave on your tongue. “You’re welcome, I guess.” He let his eyes drift down, pausing at your lips, and then down to the swell of your breasts through your t-shirt. 

Were you meant to ask him to look for longer, or slap him?

Once the realisation that maybe, just maybe Sukuna was attracted to you settled in your stomach like a heavy weight, he pulled back and walked away slowly, eyes on you until the last possible moment. You blinked once, then twice. 

You were dumbfounded, but also aroused. What the hell was going on with you both?

═══════★

Sukuna’s private office was…something. Low hanging fluorescent lights flickered periodically as he sat there in the busted chair, sun already having set outside. The occasional clang of metal reverberated around the gym outside of the private wall, and the air inside was heavy with dust, sweat, and intense longing. 

Sukuna’s eyes were screwed shut, unable to physically eat the half-chewed apple on his desk. His cock was aching in his sweats. It’s only been under a week since you came back to the gym, and he’s losing it. He’d be lying if he said you had caught his eye immediately. Sukuna remembers the day you came bumbling in like an idiot into his gym all wide-eyed like you’ve never seen a man before. 

But how wrong he was. You had a mouth on you under all that awkwardness. But most importantly, you were so reactive. He doesn’t know why he liked it so much, but seeing you stiffen up at his touches, push out your lower lip when he pissed you off… It really set him off. Not to mention the noises, God. Your soft pants after a workout, your low groans as you stretched those legs of yours.

Honestly? Sukuna didn’t understand why on earth you were so insecure. He had the urge to drag you away from the mirror every time he saw that disappointed look on your face after each workout session. He could spend ages running his hands across every soft inch of your body to show you that you were fine. There was no need for you to push yourself so hard. 

The mental imagery of burying his face deep into your pussy pained him. It was embarrassing, really, the way he was always ogling at you bent over the dumbbell racks or watching your throat bob with every gulp of water. Sukuna rubbed his face with his hands, groaning and manspreading further in his seat as his cock practically weeped to be freed. He could feel the front of his boxers dampen with his precum, which he had been trying to ignore for a while now. But it was useless. Sukuna may have felt like a hormonal idiot for freeing his length from the confinements of his sweatpants, but he saw no use in denying himself the pleasure of fantasising you on top of him. 

It wasn’t long before Sukuna had a large hand nestled deep in his pants, wrapped around his throbbing cock. He couldn’t be bothered taking it out, and something about ruining his clothes to the thought of you made it all the more thrilling. When he shut his eyes, he could see the full outline of your body underneath your clothes, the way the outline of your sports bra was visible due to sweat after vigorously exercising. 

His cock twitched in his hand and he finally began pumping his hand lazily. Sukuna could imagine you walking in on him, the frazzled look you’d shoot his way. He wanted you to see him like this, but unfortunately for him, you had gone home. 

“Fuckin’ hell, you’ve done it now. Messed me up all good and p-proper, huh?” His hand continued to move, wrist rolling expertly. Almost as if he was used to jerking off to the thought of you. Sukuna’s head tipped back as he pictured you on your knees, lips glossy with his cum and body eager to please him. Oh, you'd look so pretty with your tits pressed together as you sat their obediently.

The chair creaked once he started rutting into his hand frantically. His hips jerked once, then again as his orgasm hit him. It hit him hard. It was messy and the waves of shame hit him at the same time ropes of thick cum coated his fingers and the insides of his sweats. 

Uneven pants filled that small office, and Sukuna finally withdrew his fingers and wiped them clean with a nearby rag he kept nearby. He could feel his heart hammering in his throat, and he actively avoided looking down at the mess he made inside of his sweats. 

Maybe Sukuna felt ashamed. He definitely should have. But there was no way in hell Sukuna would ever stop thinking about you. 

═══════★

You should have gone home and showered there like you usually did. But the tension between you and Sukuna exactly two days later had you on edge. You weren’t thinking straight, water bottle empty and chest heaving from overexertion. Your aching feet dragged to the gym showers instead, where you stripped after setting up all of your belongings. That berry-scented body wash just screaming your name. 

Sukuna however, came with other plans. He was thanking the stars that the gym was mostly empty, and there was little to no chance of anyone walking in. Plot armour, one may call it. 

You were in the middle of washing your body, washcloth scrubbing at your chest and getting them all soapy. How odd Sukuna was acting today, you muttered to yourself, recalling how his stare never left you and how his jaw remained tightly clenched. You were almost afraid he’d break a tooth.

The obnoxious creak of the shower-room doors brought you out of your daydreams, and you were glad the curtains concealed you from the eyes of whoever had just walked in. You were thinking to yourself that gosh, they really should oil up the hinges, but the curtains opened. Your eyes landed on a very pent-up Sukuna, whose eyes were shamelessly ogling at your nude body. You merely blinked at him, brain trying to catch up with what was going on.

“So, hey! One person per shower!?” you practically shrieked, backing up when Sukuna entered the shower and shut the curtain behind him. He’s soaking in the sight, clothes becoming drenched as the hot water beat down on both of you. Sukuna’is breath met the steam as he exhaled heavily, finally forcing himself to speak. 

“Gonna tell me to fuck off any time soon? Say something, pretty girl,” he cooed raspily, head cocked slightly to the side as he hunched over you. You could only stare back up at him, blinking away the spray of water. But the way your pussy clenched around nothing told you all you needed to know. You were positive you wanted him, so you gave him a nod. 

That was enough of an invitation for Sukuna to capture your bottom lip with his teeth, sucking it lightly into his mouth as he initiated a kiss under the spraying showerhead. You wanted to kiss back, but everything about Sukuna screamed urgency. You could barely register the fact that he was nipping at your neck, sucking a nipple into his mouth as his greedy hands pawed at every inch of skin you had to offer. 

“R-ryo, please wait-”

“No waiting. Don’t you dare tell me to wait,” he gritted out, sinking onto the tiles and using his hands to maneuver you around so that your rear was in his face. You winced at the sensation of the cold tiles your breasts were pressed up against, but you had no time to complain about it when Sukuna used both hands to spread the supple fat of your ass apart. A sharp gasp ripped out of your throat and your head whipped behind you to check.

“What exactly do you think you’re doin-”

He doesn't allow you to finish your sentence. The fiend angled his head, flattened his tongue and licked a fat stripe from your pussy to ass. You shrieked, hands flailing as you tried to grip the tiles unsuccessfully. A sharp swat to your ass served as a reminder to keep quiet, so you slapped a hand over your kiss-bitten lips. Sukuna took this as a chance to grab one of your calves and lifted it to the side, allowing him to groan deeply at the way your pussy spread so nicely for him. The fact that he could do so with such ease had you positively shaking. 

Your foot slipped ever so slightly on the wet tiles, but Sukuna was there to grip you even tighter, digging his fingers into the ample layer of fat over your hip to steady you. He dove back in, mouth hot on the entirety of your cunt as he ate you out like a man possessed. A garbled cry left your lips as you let your hand leave the tile. Sukuna was beyond pleased when you twisted his short hair into your fist and tugged, beginning to practically ride his face. 

“Fucking starving today, y’know?” he huffed in between filthy slurps. “Acting all shy for what, when your body is this fuckin’ slutty. Think I wouldn’t notice, huh?”

He went on and on, pausing to languidly roll his thick tongue over your pulsing clit. Sukuna sucked it into his mouth, nose buried between the crevice of your ass. You couldn’t respond, rendered to stupidity as ragged breaths left your lungs. The only time the man under you pulled away was to spit directly onto your pussy before diving back in. 

“P-pull away, gah, pull away, Ryo. M’gonna-,” you whined before being rudely cut off. Sukuna chokes on a curse at the nickname you have for him, and he wraps his arms around your waist. You’re sitting on his face, spasming with a cry as he begins shaking his head to the best of his ability. He’s a certified munch for a reason, devouring you from the back as you release all over his face with a strangled cry. 

You wiped the water from your face and slumped against the tiles. A kiss was planted against your ass, and then another. 

“Fucking hell. Should have done this sooner. Much sooner,” he muttered as he eventually rose to his feet. Sukuna’s knees ached, but it was worth it. “Pussy tastes sweeter than anything I’ve ever had.”

You managed to focus your eyes on him, face undeniably flushed as you pushed yourself away from the tiles. It did something to you to see Sukuna so pussydrunk and hard in his boxers. Somewhere along the way, he had tossed his shorts aside, which was perfect. His erection was straining against the fabric, and you took that as an invitation to sling an arm over his bulky shoulder. Your other hand slid down his torso, dipping in every curve of muscle it could find. You left his pecs alone, deciding to squeeze them another day. 

“Oh, oh. You want this as much as I do?” he teased before stopping himself from speaking anymore once he saw the look in your hazy eyes. You didn’t want sex. Not today, at least. So you settled on timidly freeing his length from his underwear and brushing your thumb over the flushed tip. The larger man almost moaned aloud when you rested your forehead against his chest and looked down, a soft noise of awe escaping your mouth at how deliciously thick his cock was. All thoughts of covering the stretchmarks on your hips, the thickness of your thighs, all of it… they were long forgotten at that moment. You started stroking his length almost lovingly, and you heard the slight crack in his usually confident voice.

“Hahhh, s-shit. Got a reaaal sweet pair of hands on you, don’t you, pretty girl?” he simpered, raising your head with a hand and affectionately resting his warm forehead against yours. The way Sukuna praised you had you doubling your efforts, wrist twisting as you pumped him earnestly. 

The water kept running, but Sukuna could worry about the bill another day. A chorus of guttural growls left him, strokes growing increasingly slick with his precum. The periodic twitches spurred you on, your eyes lighting up the closer he came to orgasm. Your gaze broke away when Sukuna’s lips pressed against your temple in a feverish manner, aaall the way down until he could claim your lips once more. The slight musky taste of your own slick graced your mouth. You should’ve pulled away, but you enjoyed the way his saliva mixed with yours.

“W-woah, there. Steady, fuck. I’m about to cum-”

One last flick of the wrist and a sweet peck on the cheek was all Sukuna needed to cum all over your fingers with a final grunt of your name. His release was warm, ropes of it shooting up to his abs. The urge to pop your fingers into your mouth grew, but the water washed it away. Neither of you spoke for a minute, trying to gather your wits about the change in dynamic between you. The steam continued to swirl around you both, providing a more intimate cocoon for you to relax in.

“Let me wash you up, yeah? Can’t be going home half-cleaned,” Sukuna murmured after pulling back from your face, trying as gently as he could to wipe the sodden strands of hair off of your face. He’s made a mess of you, but you were a gorgeous mess. One he’d happily devour a million times over. 

“Ah, well. That’s your fault, no? I suppose you should be the one taking responsibility,” you laughed weakly, mild exhaustion setting in. The orgasm combined with the heat of the shower was getting unbearable, and you wanted to leave. Sukuna picked up on this, making quick work of cleaning you both up. 

“Is that so, hm? Let me take you out then. Properly,” he said, followed by a nip at your ear. Large hands rubbed at your skin, thumbing at the curve of your waist. A swat of your hand landed on his chest, but Sukuna didn’t pull away. Oh, he was deathly serious. 

“...Yes, please.”

divider creds - @cursed-carmine

[lightlybloomed]

Notifications and Nervous Glances (L.N)

Lando Norris can't help but smile when fans tease him for continuously checking his phone for a certain someone to message.

The midday sun hung lazily over Monaco, casting golden stripes of light through the open balcony doors of Lando’s apartment. The sea beyond glittered like a jewel, but Lando was inside, hoodie half-zipped, hair fluffed in every direction from running his hands through it too many times. He was mid-Twitch stream, headset on, fingers flying over his controller.

“Alright, alright, I swear this is the last race,” he laughed, eyes flicking toward the live chat as messages scrolled faster than he could read. “If I win this, you all have to stop saying I'm washed, deal?”

“Yeah right, mate!” came Max Fewtrell’s voice through the headset. “If anything, you’re gonna rage quit before we even hit the third lap.”

Lando grinned. “Not this time.”

But just as the race loaded, a soft chime rang out—his phone, buzzing on the desk to his right. His hand twitched toward it instinctively before pulling back.

He kept his eyes on the screen. Focus. Except now he wasn’t focused at all.

The chat noticed.

"👀 not you checking your phone AGAIN" "who you waiting for, loverboy?" "she texted yet???" "just CALL HER YOU COWARD" "lando’s in his 'will she text me' era"

He blinked, trying not to smile. Tried and failed.

“You guys are so annoying,” he muttered, adjusting his mic. “Can’t a guy check the time?”

“Time?” Max said dryly. “Mate, your phone’s been lighting up like a Christmas tree and you haven’t stopped sneaking glances since we started.”

Lando flushed. “It’s not—okay, shut up.”

The chat went wild again.

"GUILTY!" "he's so whipped and it's not even official" "bet it’s that girl from the paddock 👀"

And okay, maybe they weren’t wrong.

You’d met during the chaos of the last race weekend—some mutual friends, a few too many drinks, and the kind of conversation that left him grinning long after it ended. You weren’t a celebrity. Weren’t chasing fame. Just... smart, grounded, and funny in a way that disarmed him.

You’d left the next day for a work trip, but you’d been texting every day since. Nothing flirty, not exactly. But something was there. At least, he hoped so.

The last message had come a few hours ago—“Landing soon. Might be off the grid for a bit, but I’ll message you when I can! :)”—and he’d been low-key checking his phone ever since.

Just in case.

As the race ended (he came second, to Max’s eternal smugness), Lando leaned back in his chair, pretending not to care as he casually picked up his phone.

Nothing.

He dropped it again, face slightly warm.

“You know,” Max said, his tone teasing but not unkind, “you could just text her first. Say hi. Ask if she landed okay. You’re allowed to show interest, mate. It's not a crime.”

“I know,” Lando mumbled.

But still, he didn’t.

The chat rallied again, this time with emojis and messages of encouragement and chaos in equal measure.

"we believe in you 🫶" "text her or we riot" "lando, you’re literally a Formula 1 driver and you're scared to double text???"

“Alright, that’s it,” Lando said, throwing his hands up. “This stream is bullying now.”

He was laughing though, eyes crinkled in that way his fans loved, cheeks dusted pink.

“I’ll text her,” he added under his breath, like it was a secret he couldn’t help but share.

And he did. Right there, in front of thousands of people.

“Hey, just checking in—hope your flight went okay :)”

He hit send, then instantly tossed his phone onto the sofa like it had burned him.

“I’m done for today,” he declared, stretching with a groan. “That’s enough emotional damage.”

“Emotional damage?” Max repeated. “You texted a girl ‘hi.’ Are you twelve?”

“I hate you.”

The stream ended not long after, fans flooding Twitter and Tumblr with screencaps and memes: Lando’s face mid-phone-check, the exact moment he blushed, the chat going absolutely feral.

But Lando barely noticed.

Because twenty minutes later, while he was lazily scrolling through delivery apps and wondering if gelato for dinner was socially acceptable, his phone buzzed again.

“Just saw your message—landed safely :) stuck in traffic now but excited to finally be home. Also, I missed talking to you. ❤️”

Lando stared at the screen, lips parting in a slow, dumb smile.

Then, with a quiet laugh, he typed back:

“Welcome home. Wanna come over later?”

And this time, he didn’t throw the phone away. He held onto it, just in case the reply came quickly.

It did.

[eraserbread]

More Nanami husband and wife smut please queen😭. You are so good at writing that it’s crazy.

i always just find myself thinking about a shy, and desperately in love nanami. before the uncertainty, before the kids. just two people in love... oh

kento doesn't talk much, especially in the first few months after he married you. he sees you and gets shy, porcelain face going all ruby with flush.

after all, you gave up your virginity together. your body is all kento knows, and he's all you know. every time the mood dips into something sensual, his hands go all light and shaky. he's panting into your mouth, fingers everywhere, whispering, "feel good? where, right here?"

you nod and guide his hand lower, silently whining for him -- pining for touch. you shiver when the tips of his fingers ease into your leaking slit, obsessed with his he gasps at your wetness.

"yes... right there -- mm, a little higher."

then, he's playing with your clit, circling masterful little circles into the sensitivity. he knows you like when he touches here, especially when he's kissing and sucking it between his lips.

but what you love even more, is when he crawls over you, kissing across your neck and jaw, skin sliding over yours. his hair is mussed, eyes shadowed and familiar as he reaches for your lips.

stuck in that liplock, he's grinding against your dripping core, whispering. "love you... i love you..." like a mantra, all breathless and rasped.

he doesn't need you to answer him; all he needs is to drink up that teeny tiny moan that slips from your lips to be satiated.

he fucks you to the beat of your heart, forehead pressed into yours, inhaling the pulse from your breath. intertwined hands pressed into the bed, the smell of him -- the light shampoo in his hair, the mint of his toothpaste.

it's all so beautiful and real and yours.

just like he is -- yours.

[memecucker]

huh so during the reign of Emperor Wu during the Western Han there was a common practice of seizing dwarfs to force them to act as entertainers at the courts of powerful people. A magistrate from Hunan named Yang Cheng found the practice to be morally outrageous and protested to the emperor saying that little people are humans equal to all his other subjects rather than slaves to be captured and treated like animals and presented evidence as to how this distributed or even ruined the lives of the families they were forced to leave behind. The emperor was persuaded by Yang's arguments and banned the practice of enslaving dwarfs and overtime Yang actually became a minor deity venerated by little people in China for how he had fought against their persecution and for them to have equal rights.

I found that kinda interesting since it's a pretty early example of someone campaigning against ableism and for equal treatment of those born differently and was done on a matter of general principle

[strkly]

honey

s.m: after being off the grid for a while you return to society and meet up with your old friend bucky barnes. unexpectedly you run into someone you never thought you would see again. your high school boyfriend robert reynolds.

robert ‘bob’ reynolds x fem!reader

w.c: 4.8k

c.w: angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of drugs/drug addictions, reader (zero is your hero name) is apart of sam’s team with gravity related powers, bff bucky, you’re exes, the new avengers are chismosas, walker is an asshole, dialogue heavy, not proofread sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes!

a.n: i cried like six times writing this i love bob so much my chest hurts might make a part two but im not sure yet

"bucky are you fucking with me?”

you stare blankly at the tower you had thought was abandoned when you and the rest of the team basically disbanded but the new A sign and the construction trucks littered around the area and tower told you otherwise.

“shut up come on up you’re already cleared for entry.”

you couldn’t believe this was happening. the mission you were recently placed on just so happened to leave you disconnected from society for a few months. bucky, your long time friend, was the first person you were interested in seeing and he agreed. when he sent you his location you merely thought he was pranking you but as you walk inside the building and hit the familiar button to the top of the tower it dawns on you he’s really not joking around.

when the elevator door opens he’s waiting there for you putting away his phone and smiling at you. “look who it is huh” you grin, the sight of your friend warming your heart, you rush towards him and throw your arms around him happily, burying your head in his neck. “i missed you jackass.” “yeah yeah missed you too.”

what you dont notice is the four people all at the bar looking at the scene in what could only be described as horror. “what is happening?” yelena whispers to ava who only shrugs unable to take her eyes off of the strange display.

when you pull away and the two of you begin to exchange a few words the group notices walkers eyes widen in horror upon seeing you and he attempts to push himself out of your line of sight. before any of them could question him the seemingly peaceful conversation between you and bucky turns hostile as you punch him across the face.

“you’re gonna tell me what the hell is going on right now!” alexei ava and yelena all exchange a look before they continue to eat the popcorn they had been snacking on and watching the two of you silently.

“what the hell is this? new avengers? what the fuck are you talking about? and where the hell is sam?” bucky glares at you as he cups his cheek, “can you just listen to me?” you throw your hands up and walk past him standing in the middle of the space not even noticing the group of people as you keep your gaze on bucky. “once you start making sense i’ll listen! god forbid i leave for a couple months and suddenly you’ve join some newly formed avengers team without! sam! who even are these people anyway...” you turn away from him and face the bar without even knowing youd be face to face with the majority of the team.

you scan each of their face one by one as your confusion grows until you land on him. your face drops into a blank stare as walker forces a smile on his face, “zero! hi! so good to see you.”

you say nothing as your head slowly turns towards bucky whos face had already twisted into a grimace knowing what you were going to say. they watch as your hand goes up and buckys body flies towards you, your hands wrapping around his neck. “james bucky barnes you will tell me what the hell is going on, right now!”

the four of them can only stare speechless as the two of you talk over one another, the anger twisted all over your face as bucky attempts to defend himself in strangled breaths. none of them could believe the sight in front of them other than walker who seemed like he had expected this to happen. you had seemed familiar to yelena and now that she saw your powers it had clicked. code name zero, you had been working for the old avengers behind the scenes and was now an associate of the new captain america sam wilson after the two of you became good friends.

if the file she had once read on you was right you could manipulate gravity at your will, a truly dangerous ability. none of them decide to help him simply watching the two of you argue.

“whats going on?” yelena turns to the soft sound of bobs voice who looks concerned as he slowly made his was towards the bar looking back and forth between everyone confused. bob tended to hide up in his room some days but the noise must have drawn his attention to the point he felt the need to come down and see.

all four of them shrug and the now five of them watch as you verbally berate bucky. finally growing tired of him you toss his down and kick him ignoring the groan he lets out you turn to the group hoping you could get some answers from one of them but when your eyes land on the newest addition to the group your expression drops to something unrecognizable.

bob grows uncomfortable under your stare and grips his hands together in front of his as you tilt your head and stare at him.

“robert? bob… reynolds?”

“um,,, yes?”

he fiddles with his fingers as you say nothing for a few moments. the look at your face laced with shock and something he can’t recognize but a small ache grows in his chest for some reason.

“holy shit.”

all eyes turn to bob as he awkwardly fidgets in his place. nobody says anything for a good while until bucky groans as he stands up looking at you. “you know him?”

he asks the question everyone was eager to know you turn your head slightly to look back at him, your voice a lot softer than it had been before. “we um, we were friends, in middle school high school you know,” you turn back to him, realizing he clearly has no memory of you you try to mask how much it hurt. for him to look at you like a stranger. you force a smile on your face as you shake your head.

“it was a long time ago, i dont blame you if you don’t remember.” you watch his face twist as he clearly tries to remember something, anything about you but he turns up blank, “sorry..” its the only thing he can force out but you wave your hand brushing him off. “dont worry about it seriously.”

you let your gaze linger on him for a little bit longer before you turn your back to him and force yourself to talk to bucky once more. he’s changed so much but he hasn’t changed at all. you hadn’t forgotten about him even after all these years have passed, it was almost jarring to see the man you spent so many years with not even seem to remember your name should make you angry but you knew him, you knew bob.

he was never really in the right mental state, with the stuff hes been through and the path he had been down you dont blame him for not remembering. hell if you were him you wouldn’t want to remember that time either but it still stung in a way you didn’t know could sting.

bucky decided to drag you off to a room where the two of you could talk thing out alone, bob doesn’t know why he cant take his eyes off of you as you walk away and why it bothers him so much. as soon as the two of you are our of ear shot everyone turns to bob.

he has no clue how to answer their questions and they quickly grow bored once they realize he truly has no memory of you. as the rest of them engross himself in another conversation about who you were bob finds himself lost in thought. you clearly knew him but it was odd you seemed to think positively of him. you didn’t look at him with disgust your gaze was something more like, fond? no it couldn’t be, nobody would look at him like that.

ill always love you honey

the voice rings in his head and he flinches as his hands gripping the bar table tightly. yelena looks at him concerned but he puts a smile on his face and she looks away hesitantly. what was that? the voice had brought him an odd sense of peace it was almost eerie. his head started to hurt as he tried to think about it, the soft pounding that would hit is body whenever someone asked about his childhood or his past. the life he’s tried to forget, he grimaces as he chugs down the glass of water yelena had given him. he wouldnt think about it anymore no matter how much it was bothering him, maybe it was better forgotten.

an hour passed as the rest of the new avengers made conversation about random nonsense until the sound of a door slamming turned all their heads towards the sight of you with a furious look on your face as bucky trailed behind you. “i just can’t believe you barnes.” “you think i wanted this?”

ignoring bucky you look at all of them with an apologetic look and bow your head. “sorry you all had to see me like that, i promise im a lot nicer than that usually.” bucky scowls like he wants to disagree but one look from you closes his mouth and he looks away. you introduce yourself and everyone but bob replies in turns back at you.

you walk towards the bar and reach over, bob isnt listening to what anyone is saying he can’t seem to take his eyes off you, he watch as you pour yourself a drink, your mouth moving to converse with the other members, a light smile graces your face as you continue to foster your drink. his head hurts. “you should do it to walker next.” the man in question glares daggers at ava who smiles and shrugs back at him. “dont tempt me.” “hey!” you laugh and his chest starts to ache even more.

when you turn your head lightly to look at him he freezes, there's something so familiar about you, he finds himself subconsciously leaning towards you like he was freezing cold and you were a warm fireplace. when you lightly smile at him before turning away he feels his whole world stop. a sudden flash pops up in his head and its you, much younger than you are now grinning at him ear to ear and he flinches, closing his eyes as he tries to push the memory away subconsciously. so he really did know you back then. his memories from his time that long ago were spotty at best, he could remember some things but they were all blurry.

he finally tunes back into the conversation when it turns to him, more specifically you and him. “you have to tell us the story between you two.” yelena wags her finger back and forth between you and bob, a mischievous look on her face as the other agree. you shake your head frantically as you shrug, “i mean whats there to say…”

“oh come on he doesnt know anything you have to tell us everything.” you turn to look at bob expecting him to tell them to stop, he probably doesn’t want them knowing about his past but the look of anticipation on his face tells you what you needed to know. you sigh and try to think about how to word this without letting them know the real dynamic of your relationship.

“well we met during middle school, kept in contact after he had dropped out of highschool. he was always getting himself into some shit and i had to bail him out.” your tone lightens up as you fondly remember your youth, “whenever he was out too late and didnt come home i was so pissed i thought i was gonna have to walk down to the station.”

“home? you guys lived together?” you barely even noticed you let that slip out, quickly covering your wide eyes with a sip of your drink and a wave of your hand. “you know his home life wasnt the best so,,, you know he just stayed with me thats all.” you tried your best to make it sound as casual as possible but it was painfully obvious that wasnt the case.

bob couldnt wrap his head around this. he had no one during his youth or atleast he thought he did but why did your words seem so right to him. a couple more flashes appered in his mind. a warm quiet home, cozy to the point he was uncomfortable to be in there alone but he wasnt really alone was he? there was always someone by his side, sitting on the couch with him standing in the kitchen with him. something in the house standing out to him.

“the tapestry.” all eyes dart to bob who had been silent this whole time, your eyes widen in shock at his words. “it was so ugly.” your shocked face twists into mock anger as you cross your arms the smile on your face and the joy in your tone unable to hide how happy you were. “can you stop saying that? i worked really hard on that thing.” “it was so ugly..” “really? after all this time you still think its ugly,,,” you look at the confused group of heros and sigh, “when i first started to crochet i made a tapestry to hang on my wall in my apartment but this jackass always thought it was so ugly. i still have it you know.” “you should throw it out.”

he doesn’t know why he cant help but tease you, he doesn’t tease anyone but it seems like second nature. the affectionate look you have on your face as you fake glare at him fills his heart with a strange sensation.

“holy shit.” your face drops at walkers voice and you turn to glare at him. “you were his girlfriend werent you.”

your stomach plummets. everyone turns to look at you expecting you to outright deny it but when you are stuck frozen in shock staring at walker he starts to laugh. “no fucking way, you were his little girlfriend.”

he turns away, laughing like it was the funniest thing on earth as you stare daggers into his back. “shut the fuck up walker.” your tone has lost all the previous joy it once had as you stare at him with disgust.

as the group explodes in chaos bobs head spins, he can barely compose himself before you lean down towards him and whisper, “im sorry honey.”

honey. the nickname unlocks memories he had buried so deep down he had forgotten them.

he met you during 7th grade. you were desk mates, the overly friendly cheery girl who didn’t seem bothered by his lack of responses to your questions and shy demeanor. you sat with him during lunch, shared your notes with him, played with him during recess. you slowly became his whole world.

you ended up asking him to be your boyfriend in 8th grade at your middle school graduation and you started dating. when he dropped out of high school and left home had no clue what he was gonna do but you took him in, living alone in an apartment with your uncle who was never home made it easy enough for bob to move in with you. while you were at school he did things you didn’t like to think about but he always tried to be home by the time you go back from your after school job.

he was so happy. throughout his shitty life you were the only constant and good thing he had, he loved you so much he always cheered up when he saw you.

some particular memories stand out to him, one of them was when the two of you were at home. you were both 17. you had moved out of your uncles and bob came with you. it was a sunday your only true day off, his head was laying in your lap clearly he was on something but you didn’t seem you to mind.

you played with his hair and you read a book, his eyes were mindless on the tv show you had thrown on neither of you were paying attention to it. his eyes trailed off the tv and onto the wall. you had many different knickknacks and trinkets postered up on your walls. awards you won during school, gifts people gave you. but one thing caught his eyes and he grimaced.

“what is that?” you look down at him, following his line of sight towards your wall. “which thing honey?” he points to the tapestry you have hung on your wall. it was white, it looked like someone was in the middle but he couldn’t make it out. “its a tapestry.” “its ugly,” you punch him in the stomach and he groans, “i made that jackass.” he laughs as you wack him again, “sorry sorry its just wow that thing is hideous.” you huff in disbelief and cross your arms. “i worked really hard on it thank you very much.” “what even is that thing in the middle? a rat?” “its a flower you asshole.”

you throw your book to the side as you punch him and the two of you soon befall into a fit of laughter as he apologizes over and over and you keep on lightly hitting him. soon enough the two of you stop to caught your breaths. you lean your head to look at him and his heart swells at the pure affection in your gaze, he knows hes looking at you the exact same way. “i love you.” only after your bring your lips down to his and cup his face his heart calms down enough for him to be able to reply that he loves you too.

the next memory is the day before he had left you a few years later. he had been in jail for god knows what for the hundredth time. he always knows its you who bailed him out and he’s thankful for it. but as he’s walking out to see you the guard escorting him, it was a small town, you all knew each other, he had grown used to seeing this particular officer at the station but that day he had said something that bothered him. “shes such a smart girl. such a bright future ahead of her. such a shame shes stuck with you holding her down.”

it bothers him. it bothers him so much because its true. he cant even bring himself to smile or hug you back as you throw yourself to his arms. when you pull alway and cup his face concerned he tells you he’s fine and walks past you. its so clear you’re trying your best to cheer him up like you always did but he was so set in his plan not even you buying his favorite take out or cuddling him in bed could help.

it was later that night. the house was completely dark and quiet. the only sound he can hear is your soft breathing as you sleep and the whirling of the fan above you. he couldnt sleep, staring up at the ceiling, allowing himself to revel in your warmth one last time.

a few hours pass before he lets himself slip out of your arms. he gathers some things i had around your room and attempts to slip out but he freezes when he hears you groan. “honey what are you doing?” “just getting some water.” you hum and settle back down to sleep as he sighs in relief. right as he’s about to close the door he can hear you mumble loud enough for him to hear. “ill always love you honey.” he stands frozen. he almost just gives up, dropping all his shit and turning around and laying in bed with you without a care in the world. he cant. he knows he cant it would kill him. “i love you too.” he whispers to the air. you would never hear him say that as he closes the door and never turns back.

he leaves you a note, telling you hes leaving and not to look for him. by the time you wake up for college he’ll hopefully already be out of the state. he places the box he had made of all the stuff you got him on the coffee table in your living room taping the note ontop of it. he takes one long final glance around the room he would never see again as his heart breaks. memories run through his mind of every second you shared together, this is for the best he knows it is but it hurts. it hurts so much.

tears run down his face as he forces himself with the clothes on his back and the small stack of cash he gained from odd jobs you helped him get. it felt wrong to take any of the stuff you had given him, he didn’t deserve any of it he didn’t deserve you. he didn’t know where he was going just that he was going somewhere, somewhere far far away from you.

he could never stop thinking about you no matter how much time had passed. he cried so much he could barely do anything else. so he decided to forget. force himself to lock up the memories of you and the best years of his life, the only good memories he had forced away so he could try to do something else anything else with his life other than missing you.

“bob?” yelena leans in towards him concerned. he has no clue how much time has passed. you’re too busy yelling at walker as bucky holds you back. ava and alexei too entertained to notice him but yelena did. you turn back to look at him at the sound of his name and your eyes widen, throwing walker against the wall you rush towards him, ignoring the way walker groans and curses at you as you bend down to eye level with him. bob had tears streaming down his face, violently shaking, “i left you im sorry im sorry.” your face falls into a pout as you look at him, unable to say anything simply staring at him.

yelena stands up with one clap of her hands shes rushing everyone out the room. “everyone out lets go.“ “no i want to watch them.” nope everyone out.” it takes a minute but she quickly rushes everyone out of the room sparing you a smile before she closes the door leaving you alone with him. you silently thank her in your mind before turning you attention towards bob.

he covered his face with his hands as he sobbed into his palms. “bob?” he wouldn’t respond, too lost in his emotions so you sigh. standing up you grip his forearms and tug at them. “come on honey.” he atleast follows you this time, allowing him to pull you to sit on the floor with him, still not looking at you.

“i looked for you.” he twitches but doesn’t dare look up. “i spent the next week running around the city looking for you at every corner. i was so scared j was gonna find you laying on the ground in some alley way.” your words seems to make his crying worse as he cant stop mumbling over and over again how sorry he was. “even after that i spent so long looking for you in every person i came across. it was second nature to glance around the street to see if i would see you, hell i dont know if i ever even stopped doing that.”

“i couldnt be the one to ruin your life.” he finally allows himself to whisper the thing he’s always thought. you would have never been able to achieve what you have if he stayed by your side. he only would have dragged you down, you probably would still be living in that old run down apartment building in florida if he had stayed. your face falls and you look down at the ground, tears pooling up in your eyes. “bob.”

“you are so amazing, everyday i was in awe of you, i was the thing setting you back. i had to go but it hurt you im sorry.” you reach over and grip his forearm, you can feel him shaking under your grip and the tears begin to spill down your face. “im happy you left.“

he looks up at you alarmed. as if you had said the craziest thing ever but you looked beyond him to the window outside. “you were miserable.”

“no i was so happy with you-“ “but you were so unhappy with your life!” he flinches as you raise your voice, you quietly apologize and fix your volume before you speak again, you shouldn’t let your emotions take over you like that. “i could tell, every single day you were just so miserable, it made me so sad to think about when i went to school or work you were just sitting at home alone doing nothing but getting high or you were getting yelled at at some part time job. you deserved so much better, you think i was being dragged down by you i was the one dragging you down.”

he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. you had thought you were keeping him down? that was ridiculous. he was the one who was going to ruin your life. when he opened his mouth to stop you you continued to speak over him. “i would have been so content just staying in that stupid city in that stupid apartment with you because i would have been with you. if you stayed i probably would have graduated from that community college and get some job at some office there to support us but you never would have been happy. you deserved more than that. to go out there to go see the world leave that city you were stuck in.”

the grip you must have on his arm would kill another man but neither of you notice lost in your own world, “if you leaving me got you here im so happy you did. look at you, you’re a hero honey, just like you always wanted to be. “

he has nothing to say. his body still shaking, as more silent tears run down his face. he cant believe you had thought like this, your words feel unreal to him. he doesnt even know what emotion he’s feeling.

“im sorry.” its the only words he can force out of his mouth. his stomach pulled in knots as forces himself to look down at the floor. you know maybe it wasn’t the best decision to dump all that on him but you couldnt help it, the thoughts you had been thinking for over a decade finally spilling from your lips. you sit in silence for awhile. you know its not good to leave it off there.

“you know what the best apology you can give me is?” when your voice unintentionally cracks he weakly looks up at you, “if you can tell me you’re happy now, without the need to stick some needle in your arm or shoot some powder up your nose you’d make me so happy.”

he sniffs a bit, finally seemingly calmed down and nods. “theyre nice to me, um im happy. i haven’t even thought about that stuff in awhile, it feels so nice. im so happy.” you choke back the sob that builds in your throat, “then thats more than enough for me.” he places his hand on top of yours and the two of you just sit and smile at each other for a bit.

“hey you wanna go eat? theres this place i really like around here havent been in ages, you can even bring your friends ill call over some of mine too.” his smile grows larger than ever and happily nods.

you dont know what the future will hold for either of you, unexpectedly running into the man you could never forget was certain to stir up some feelings in you, but for now you were so happy to see him so happy.

[rabbitindisguise]

That checks out yeah

Need to invent a word for the specific unpleasant experience that is (1) someone making the assumption that you are one of The Ingroup (2) and, therefore, a safe person for them to vent their most absolutely rancid opinions to while expecting zero pushback

[sleepiestoken]

honestly more than anything else i’m glad that vessel and ii made the album that they wanted. it’s not like anything else on the scene right now, it doesn’t sound like how people want or expect them to, it doesn’t even sound like tmbte.. and they don’t care. this is why they’re in their own lane.

[wwinterwitch]

safe haven – bucky barnes

summary: bucky goes back to you after the void incident pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader word count: 3.7k tags: thunderbolts* spoilers!, vague void experience on purpose (for the full x reader experience), sam is back and he's pissed, fluff and fluff and more fluff (love is in the air people!), comfort, kissing, things get heated at the end but no actual smut is included (i think i'll make another part exclusively for the smut lovers, so the people that don't read smut can still enjoy this part)

please reblog and/or comment in you enjoy!

all masterlists | marvel masterlist | previous part

You gasp, snapping back to reality after...whatever the fuck just happened, trying to catch your breath in hopes of easing your headache and slow your heart rate. The broom you were using to clean up your apartment lays on the floor next to you, everything looking the exact same as it was when you left.

It cannot possibly be another Thanos situation, right? That time it felt like you just blinked, but now it feels like you've been gone for long tortuous hours. That time your roommate almost had a heart attack when you knocked on the door of your shared apartment because she thought she’d never see you again. And you certainly don't remember anything about experiencing the blip. Now...now you wish you could forget what you saw back there.

You were forced to experience the most traumatizing memories playing in a loop over and over again until all you could do is sit in a corner and cry as you beg for the images to go away. A horrifying display of the darkest moments of your life. The times you felt more unhappy and hopeless. And every time you thought you’d managed to escape, you’d just end up in yet another memory.

But somehow you're back in your apartment now. Everything looks the exact same and it seems like no time has passed.

Still, even when it seemingly feels like you're safe, you can't help but feel uneasy. The thought of what you saw is still very much present in the back of your mind, replaying over and over again, taking over your senses and clouding your judgement. 

What if this is just another trick and you’re about to experience another horrible memory? You look around your apartment, too afraid to move, expecting to see something that confirms that you’re still stuck in this never-ending nightmare. That you’ll have to stay in this place for the rest of your life.

The unexpected buzzing of your phone makes you jump, snapping you back to reality as you frantically search for it. Quickly spotting it on top of your dinner table, you keep wondering what the hell is happening as you read Sam's name on your screen.

“WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? I'VE BEEN TEXTING YOU LIKE CRAZY,” you hear him shout on the other line as soon as you picked up, sounding incredibly agitated.

“I'm sorry, I...I don't exactly know what happened,” you mutter, staring outside the window in hopes of seeing something out there that might give you any clues of what is going on. To your surprise, you can see a few ambulances speeding past your street and you can spot a large cloud of smoke in the distance. 

Bucky and the others are most likely involved in that commotion. You can only hope that they’re okay, still having no updates. You can’t really tell how much time has passed since they left, so you can’t know for sure when Bucky is going to show up.

“The entirety of New York just went black,” he explains. “It just looked like darkness.”

“What?” you ask in disbelief. “I don't remember anything about it. I was just cleaning up my apartment and then somehow I was in...I don't even know what it was. It was like purgatory or something.”

“What do you mean?”

You sigh, not really wanting to go into too much detail about the stuff you had to witness. Honestly, you wish you could just forget it. “It was like being tortured, Sam. I don't know what it was, just that it was awful. I was cleaning my apartment and that's pretty much the last thing I remember before waking up in that place.”

There's a brief silence and for a second you thought perhaps the call was disconnected, but you suddenly hear Sam's voice again. “Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me!”

“What happened?” you say, evidently confused.

“Put on the news,” he sighs, muttering something else under his breath you can't quite hear correctly. “I gotta go, but I'll talk to you later, okay?” he says in a ruther rushed voice, sounding both pissed and worried. “Take care.”

“Sure. Bye, Sam.”

You hang up the phone as you sit on your couch, TV remote in your hand as you search for any news broadcast that's on. As soon as you find one, you stare at it in disbelief. There, in the middle of a street, is Valentina giving some bullshit speech you don't really care to pay attention to, and behind her stands the entire group of people that were in your apartment just seconds (or minutes? Hours?) ago, joined by a blonde guy you have never seen before.

They look exhausted and visibly confused to be in front of so many cameras. Bucky and Yelena look particularly pissed. But what matters the most to you is that they're all alive.

The next thing that really catches your attention is the text on the banner beneath the image. 'Introducing the New Avengers'.

What the hell is really going on right now?

The broadcast finally ended, and it doesn't take Bucky that long to arrive. All he wanted to do was to get away from Valentina and all the press that just kept taking pictures of him and the others. He barely even acknowledged the rest of the group, leaving as soon as possible. All he wants right now is to see you and make sure you're okay. He knows you're probably safe– of course you are, but he won't be calm until he's standing before you to make sure you really are unharmed.

He walks inside your apartment and immediately walks towards you, grabbing your face with both of his hands as soon as he's standing in front of you, frantically scanning your face for any sight of hurt or discomfort. It's almost as if you were the one out there fighting.

“Are you okay?” he asks, slightly out of breath, still not letting you go.

“Yes, I'm okay,” you reply with a reassuring smile, and he immediately pulls you in for a hug. “How are you?”

“Uh...as good as I can be.” 

His arms are still tightly wrapped around you, not wanting to let you go any time soon. Yes, he’s holding onto you because it’s a huge relief to confirm that you’re safe, but it also brings him an enormous amount of comfort, which is what he was craving ever since he stepped foot into the void.

“What kind of answer is that?”

“I don't know. It's been a lot. I was so worried about you.”

“I was so worried about you!”

He pulls away just enough, and you almost want to roll your eyes at the playful smirk on his face. “Don't try to make this a competition.”

“I won't make it a competition because I would obviously win,” you reply, exasperated. “I wasn't the one who was out there fighting...what was the guy's name again?”

“Sentry.” There’s a brief pause, his expression hardening considerably. “Were you there too?”

You get even more exasperated because you still don't understand shit. “Where?”

“The void.”

Realization hits you right there. The entirety of New York being consumed by darkness as Sam explained over the phone, the horrible things you had to see...of course a place like that would have such a fitting name. It felt exactly like it. You just felt empty and alone.

“So that's what it was. And the entire city was experiencing the same thing?” you ask, still in complete disbelief at the idea of one person having that much power. It certainly is a terrifying and dangerous ability to have. 

Then, after a quick pause, you realize Bucky had to experience that too, immediately hating the idea of him having to endure that. "Were you...?"

Bucky notices the shift in your expression, offering you a weak smile. “Yeah, we were all there.”

You don't know what to say at first. If you thought you had a hard time in there, you can't even begin to imagine the horrors Bucky was forced to watch over and over again. It breaks your heart to think about it. Even when he has made a lot of progress when it comes to healing from his past and learning to forgive himself, it doesn't mean the pain and guilt are not there.

“I'm so sorry,” is all you can say, feeling completely useless at that moment. Sorry doesn't make it better in any way.

“It's okay. It's not like this is the first time I've been there.”

His last statement absolutely crushes you. If you could find a way to take all of that burden off his shoulders, you'll do it in a heartbeat. Still feeling completely useless, you decide to pull him in for another hug, because at least that’s doing a little more than just saying you’re sorry.

“I wish I could do more to make you feel better,” you whisper, feeling his fingers gently running through your hair in an affectionate manner, kissing the top of your head.

“Being here with you is more than enough,” he whispers back. “You are more than enough."

“Oh, please don't make me cry now,” you warm him with a soft giggle, feeling like a few tears might actually come out any second now.

The sound of Bucky's laugh makes you feel just a hundred times better about the entire situation involving that stupid void, loving to hear it under such circumstances. It's impossible not to feel overwhelmed right now. That place really left you feeling like an emotional mess.

You move back from the hug just enough and Bucky takes that as his opportunity to pull you in for a kiss. The type of kiss that makes your knees weak and leaves your mind completely blank. A kiss you see in a movie with fireworks adorning the night sky, right before the end credits roll. One that feels like he's been dying to give you a kiss since he closed the door of your apartment before New York was consumed by darkness.

A kiss that shows you he really does mean it when he says you are more than enough.

“I'm really happy you're okay,” he mutters right after the kiss, resting his forehead against yours, eyes still closed.

I love you. That's all you can think of in this moment, and it takes everything in you not to say it out loud because how fucking insane would that be? To not even be an official couple and already say such a thing? Perhaps it wouldn't be so crazy given you've been best friends for so many years (and you've had a crush on him for most of them), but still. It's just too soon. Too weird. Too intense.

The fucking void really did numbers on you. Just get it together, please!

“I'm happy you're okay too,” is what you say instead, which sounds appropriate. And not weird. And not intense at all.

You offer to make him a snack after all that happened, forcing him to take a seat when he said he could do it himself. As you prepared a few sandwiches, he tried to explain as much as possible about everything that's been going on.

“So Bob doesn't remember anything?” you ask once he's done, just as you're handing him a plate with two grilled cheese sandwiches.

“Apparently,” he replies, right before leaning over the counter to give you a quick kiss as a way of thanking you for the food.

“Well, that's probably for the best, right? I mean if the Sentry part returns, it's only a matter of time until the Void part wants to have a bit of fun again too.”

He practically devours one of the sandwiches, looking like he hasn't eaten in centuries. “Probably,” he says nonchalantly, clearly more focused on eating. It's impossible to blame him for it, especially considering everything he's been through today.

You can't help but smile at the image of him eating the sandwiches like he's been deprived of food his entire life. So much so that he can barely hold a conversation.

I love you. It's like you just couldn't hold yourself back from wanting to blurt those three little words once again. Like it's physically impossible to hold them in. It doesn’t matter if he’s saying cute things to you or if he’s eating like a caveman. You love both sides of him. 

But you can't say it. You can't be weird.

Instead, you try a much more appropriate approach once again. “You're so cute,” you say with a smile, moving closer to run a hand through his hair affectionately. Then, you suddenly remember something that you two haven't discussed yet, and your 'I'm-so-down-bad' smile turns into a 'just-thought-of-the-best-joke-ever' smirk. “Might as well start calling you the cutest Avenger, huh?”

He turns to look at you with a soft grin on his face, immediately shaking his head. “Please, tell me you didn't see that.”

“Oh, but of course I did!” You take a seat next to him on your kitchen counter, getting more comfortable to continue teasing him. “The news called you ‘The New Avengers’. Who would’ve thought!”

“It was all Valentina's plan to save her ass.”

“So you guys are not going to accept the title?”

“We are, but we still need to have a few meetings to set some rules if we plan on working together…and boundaries.”

“Oh, don’t act like you’re so irritated by the idea! I can tell you’re starting to feel more comfortable around them.”

He’s completely silent for a few seconds, knowing he can’t lie without you noticing. “Okay. They might be growing on me.”

“Awwh,” you reply, but not with the intention of making fun of him. “I thought they were very nice. And I'm glad you're making new friends.”

“You're never gonna stop teasing me about any of these, aren't you?”

“Well...yeah, but I actually mean it when I say I like seeing you meeting new people,” you reply, changing your tone and demeanor to let him know you're serious. “And yes, I'll tease you about the whole Avengers thing, but that doesn't mean I'm not excited to witness this new chapter in your life.”

You begin gently caressing his arm as you offer him a sincere smile. “You deserve it. You deserve to be recognized for your kind heart and your willingness to help others,” you continue. “I'm so proud of how far you've come. And I'm sure Steve is proud of you too.”

The mention of his childhood friend brings a melancholy to his expression that is both sad and beautiful to see. It shows he still deeply misses him, but has learned to think of him without breaking down. It's the type of expression you have when you've finally found peace with the fact that someone you love is not around anymore...not entirely around, at least. He'll always carry a part of Steve Rogers with him.

"Thank you," he says, genuinely meaning it. 

I love you. Those three words threaten to make their way into your conversation again, but this time it's not you the one fighting back the urge to say them.

But It's just a little too soon, right? Last thing he wants is to make things awkward between the two of you. So he decides not to say anything, just like you have decided twice already.

You smile, standing up from your seat. “Finish eating, okay? I have to clean the mess the New Avengers left in my living room earlier.”

“Yeah, you'll have to get used to that, unfortunately.”

“Like I haven't had to deal with that before,” you joke, hinting back at all the times you had people like Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton randomly showing up at your place.

Bucky stays in your kitchen while you finish brooming until you’re sure the floor of your living room is impeccable, familiarity slowly setting in after everything that happened today. You could faintly hear Bucky having a phone call with someone, but you couldn't quite make the words out over the music you had playing on your own phone to make the cleaning much more entertaining.

You go back to your kitchen to throw away the dirt and dust you collected from the living room, just in time to see Bucky standing up to wash the dish he used, sandwiches long gone.

“I just got a call from Sam,” Bucky says as soon as he notices you, his tone letting you know it wasn't exactly a pleasant conversation.

“What did he want?”

“For us to immediately backtrack and not go through with the whole Avengers thing.”

“Yeah, he called me just as it was airing and he didn't sound too happy about it. What are you going to do?”

Bucky sighs, exhaustion visible in his demeanor. “I'll talk to him later. I don't think anyone in the team feels like backtracking right now. Most of them looked pretty excited actually.” You can't help but smile, which makes him let out a soft chuckle. “What?”

“You said 'the team'. I just thought it was cute,” you shrug, crossing your arms across your chest. “I should invite them for a pizza night or something. Get to know them a little better. And meet this Bob guy too.”

“You'll invite John?” he asks, half-joking.

“Please don't call him John,” you immediately reply, squinting your nose in disgust. “I'll have to warm up to him...very slowly. I still feel like punching him in the face when I see him.”

“That's fair,” he agrees with you, perfectly understanding where your discomfort with John Walker's presence comes from. Perhaps that might explain some of the reasons as to why Sam seems so against the idea of this team being a thing.

You notice Bucky walks towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Even when the possible pizza night sounds exciting, I kind of just want to think about the two of us spending time together alone,” he says, grinning mischievously. 

A shiver runs down your spine when you feel his fingers near your neck, gently pulling the fabric of your hoodie to the side, exposing more of your collarbone. He places a few kisses there. Slow and careful.

“Perhaps I can stay here with you for a few more days?” he suggests, right before leaving another kiss on your skin, using his other hand that’s firmly placed on your lower back to bring your body closer to his.

“Of course you can stay,” you reply in a soft voice, trying not to let it show just how much his actions are affecting you.

He practically hums against your skin. “Do you want me to stay?” he whispers, definitely making you shiver now that his metal fingers are tracing lazy patterns on your skin, underneath your hoodie. What a teasing piece of shit.

It’s almost impossible to speak now. “Yes.”

His fingers trail further up your spine, but not that much higher. Just enough to allow you to feel his touch in a slightly different place, making you crave for more. A silent reminder that he can just move his fingers wherever he pleases, but he deliberately chooses not to grant you that pleasure.

“Then say it properly.”

It’s not a suggestion or a plea. It’s straight up an instruction. And he sounds like he’s absolutely certain that you’ll do exactly as he says. 

And you do. “I want you to stay here with me.”

The kisses on your neck continue and it feels like a reward, so you just stand there and enjoy it, allowing him to worship your skin with his lips until you're practically trapped between his body and the counter.

You can feel your cheeks burning red, the warmth spreading to the rest of your body with each kiss. “Don't you want to take a shower?” you try being a voice of reason, your brain just doing whatever it can to help you feel less nervous.

“Why? You're thinking about joining me?” he whispers against your skin, which immediately makes you regret ever opening your mouth because what the fuck is wrong with him and how does he dare to say something like that?

Okay. To justify your growing nerves, you've technically never been fully intimate with Bucky yet. You've been pretty close because a girl can only hold back for so long, but the two of you have been mainly focusing on your emotional connection and that one is just so mind-blowingly special that there hasn't been a need to immediately jump to the physical aspects of your relationship.

But oh, is he tasting your limits right now...

“How you even have the energy right now is beyond me,” you comment again. You're not against the idea of something happening, but your nervous brain gets the best of you so you find yourself blurting out random things yet again.

Finally, Bucky moves away just enough, a playful smile adorning his lips. “I'll always have the energy for you,” he replies, and the implication behind his words has you blushing even harder.

You immediately hide your face in his chest while he wraps his arms around you, laughing at your reaction. “I hate you,” you mutter.

“No, you don't.”

That's true. You really don't hate him at all. It's actually quite the opposite, but you can already picture him walking out the front door if he hears you say how you truly feel about him. The thought of daring to confess you love him is a thousand times more terrifying than the idea of having sex with him for the first time.

You look up, smiling up at him when he kisses your forehead. “No, I don't.”

“Glad to see you're agreeing with me for once in your life,” he comments playfully.

“Don't push it,” you warn him, making him laugh once again.

“How about I take a shower like you suggested and then we take a nap together,” he suggests casually, still keeping his arms around you. “I think we can both use a little sleep.”

“Yeah, a nap sounds good.”

“Wow, two in a row! What has gotten into you?” he jokes yet again, trying to get you to stay in his arms when you start to push him away after that little comment, but he doesn't put up that much resistance, so you're eventually getting away from him.

“You're insufferable,” you comment in an obviously fake tone of annoyance, right before leaving the kitchen to head towards your bedroom.

“And you're beautiful,” he replies with a genuine smile, following after you.

[littlegrapejuice]

Grid Mum 3 | MV1

Pairing: Max Verstappen x Reader

Summary: Triple headers are tiring, especially when you have to take care of both your boyfriend and your grid kids.

Author's Note: okayy ig grid mum is officially a series now haha i fr never would've thought that I'd write anything else than one-shots but I've been surprisingly enjoying it + the love y'all are giving is insane so thank you sm for the support🤍🤍

F1 MASTERLIST🏎 | Previous Part | Next Part

Although you weren’t the one racing, triple headers were more exhausting than you remembered.

It was one thing to just accompany your boyfriend. But it was another to also have to take care of six other people.

First, there was Japan.

Thankfully, there had been the break after China; but when you had arrived in Japan alongside Max, Jack, and Liam, the other rookies had swarmed you. From Kimi asking why he wasn’t invited to fly on Max’s jet – “you were literally in Italy for school”, you had replied – to Gabriel complaining that you were playing favourites, you were definitely not catching a break anytime soon.

So you now had to make sure that everyone managed to get time with you – and Max, although the rookies cared more about you than your boyfriend – each weekend and started organising your own race schedule. You tried your best to equally split your time between the six of them, and asked them to make an effort as well. They couldn’t expect you to always only spend one-on-one time with them, so they agreed to hang out with you in duos or trios. Your main argument had been that this way, they could even see you multiple times during the weekend and that’s how you then easily convinced them.

You had spent half of Friday with Jack, who had been replaced by Alpine’s reserve driver – Ryo Hirakawa – for FP1. Then, after FP2 was Isack and Liam’s turn. They had both managed to get into the top ten during the practice, so you decided to take them out after their work day was over.

“Is it okay with you two if Max isn’t here?” You eventually asked them, as you were nearing the paddock’s exit.

“Because he was supposed to be here?” Liam wondered. “I thought you were the one we were spending the evening with.”

“Well, yes.” You let out a chuckle at Liam’s assumption. “It was the plan indeed, but I just felt like telling you in case you had expected him to come too.”

“Trust me, we’re perfectly fine with only you. We see Max way too often anyways”, Isack added.

“I swear”, you agreed with a laugh. “That man is everywhere, it’s crazy.”

“Plus, his team isn’t really that good. Racing Bulls is better, right?” Isack teased.

“Totally agree. Red Bull is mid, honestly. I mean, you both did better than him in FP2 so I’m with the real champions right now.”

Liam and Isack both knew that you were joking, as Max was obviously a better driver than them, but they liked that you were still supporting their small victories in Red Bull’s sister team. They had heard from the other rookies about your hatred slight dislike of Max’s team, but it was still unexpected to actually hear you talk about it.

“But I’m for real proud of you both, you know.” Your tone was now a bit more serious, to show them that you were being genuine. “You boys are rookies and it’s your first full season in F1; so compared to your first race, I know you’re already improving and you’ll achieve great things in the future.”

You meant every word. Simply from the fact that they were part of the world’s twenty best drivers, you were certain of their bright future. They had both earned their seats, and nothing would ever take that away.

You thought of the first race of the season, not even a month ago. They had unfortunately both DNFed the race. You remembered leaving the Red Bull garage back then, making your way to the Racing Bulls one after Isack had to give up his first F1 race during the formation lap. You had seen on the cameras that Lewis’s dad had found him on his way back to the paddock and had consoled him, which you also did when Isack eventually reached the Racing Bulls location. You hadn’t hesitated one second to offer him a loving hug, which he had reciprocated as you rubbed his back before letting him go to his family while you went back to Red Bull. Way later in the race, Liam had also been a victim of the rain and you had offered your support to him as well.

And now, you were able to see their improvement. Even though Liam had been demoted back to Racing Bulls, you felt that he was more comfortable there. He and Isack made a good duo, which seemed to benefit them both as you observed their new dynamic during the rest of the day.

Two happy rookies for now, four left.

…..

For this one, you left the other rookies no choice but to accept that you would solely be focusing on Jack. He was definitely not having the best weekend for now: replaced in FP1, he only had two sessions to test the car in Suzuka before qualifying. However, an unlucky DRS issue had led him to crash into the barriers during FP2 which meant that he only had FP3 left to make the most of the car.

He had understood your absence yesterday after FP2, when you had sent him a supportive message and offered him to spend Saturday morning with you. So now here you were, having breakfast with Jack before FP3 was to happen. Fortunately, he had confirmed to you that he was physically fine after his crash from the day before even though he could be feeling better mentally, and told you that the car had been fixed for him to drive today.

“Please, always remember that you are more important than the car. Alpine can make another one, but I don’t think your parents could remake you.”

“I know…” he replied. “I just– I still need to prove myself out there. I have Franco’s fans after me, and four fucking reserve drivers waiting for me to slip up. I can’t afford to fail after everything I did.”

“Jack, we’re only on race three. Out of twenty-four,” you reminded him. “I know the pressure is insane right now, but you know your worth – I know your worth. It’s not abnormal that you’re here, racing at the pinnacle of motorsports. You’ve been chosen because you deserve the seat, and even shitty Alpine knows that you’re capable of succeeding.”

Jack stayed silent for a couple minutes, taking in your words.

“Thanks… it means a lot to me. My whole family is behind me, my friends too; but they obviously support me because of our relationships.” He pondered on how to word his next train of thought. “But you, well… you’re not forced to have this opinion of me. So, it’s really worth a lot to know what you think.”

Jack could have cried. You knew he would have. But he still wanted to be strong, especially with you there as you had this high opinion of him. You weren’t giving him the same pressure that he felt everytime he stepped foot in the Alpine car. No, this was good pressure. He wanted to impress you, and the best thing about it? He knew that you would never hold it against him, and never be disappointed with his results.

The rest of your breakfast was spent in a light-hearted atmosphere, before it was time for you both to go to the track. Jack would be getting in the car with some weight off his shoulders, all thanks to you, and he eventually managed to be P14 despite the little amount of time he’d had in the car this weekend.

…..

Qualifying had been the easiest moment for you to split your time between the rookies. You had first begun to watch Q1 in Max’s garage – turns out he had slightly been jealous of you playing grid mum to the rookies and thought that you hadn’t spent enough time in girlfriend mode – before making your way through the other garages depending on who would not take part in the next session.

Both Jack and Gabriel had been eliminated in Q1, so here you were with them at Alpine. The three of you were watching Q2 together, and sharing opinions on who had the best shot at getting pole for tomorrow’s race. Your bet was – obviously unbiased – on Max while the two rookies were thinking that either McLaren would get it, given that Lando and Oscar had both topped the practice sessions.

Not long after, you were joined by Liam who had ended up P14. You had texted him about your whereabouts when you saw on TV that he was out in Q2, offering him to come spend the remaining time of the qualifying session with you and the two other rookies. Safe to say, he had wasted no time in reaching your location after a brief exchange with his team and one quick interview – actual debriefs wouldn’t happen until after qualifying ended as a whole, so he was in the clear to wander around until then.

You congratulated him on his performance in the Racing Bulls car, and asked him if he wanted to take part in your betting pole pool. None of you had put actual money whatsoever on the driver you each had chosen, the prize simply being some bragging rights over the others. It was all done in a friendly atmosphere as the four of you then spent the rest of Q3 together, and got a couple looks as people wondered about your weird little family hanging out in Alpine when only one driver was actually part of the team.

…..

When qualifying was over, you waited for your boyfriend to come and get you. He wasn’t really thrilled with the idea of having to enter Alpine, and the both of you knew that you were taking advantage of it. Still, you agreed to meet him outside in the paddock. What you hadn’t expected though, was that behind Max were three other people. And the look on Max’s face as half of the rookies followed him to where you had been waiting for him was hilarious, you couldn’t help the laugh that escaped your mouth.

“You know you’re being stalked right now?” You teased Max when he was finally in front of you.

“Said they wanted to file a complaint,” he explained as he pointed to the three drivers behind him. “But I told them to directly speak to you, so they tagged along.”

“We do have a complaint,” Kimi confirmed. “We” – as in him, Ollie, and Isack – “feel like you’ve spent more time with the others, especially me and Ollie. Isack had yesterday with you, but still.”

Ollie nodded beside him, as a way to confirm his words.

“And I’ll agree with you.” You weren’t about to gaslight those kids and tell them that they were overreacting – they were kind of dramatic, but it was endearing. “I’ll remind you that the weekend isn’t over yet, so we still have tomorrow.”

The rookies stayed silent, waiting for you to continue, and nodded to show that they were listening. Beside you, Max was weirdly invested in the ‘drama’ as it was kind of funny how the rookies had come to like you even more than him.

“Tell you what: whoever brings me some points tomorrow, we’ll spend time together after the race. And if you’ll authorise me, I’ll celebrate my boyfriend’s pole tonight. It’s been a while since he’s been performing well, and I don’t want him to get depressed.”

The offer seemed to satisfy them, as they all agreed to those terms.

“I’m still here,” Max reminded. “I can hear you.”

“Oh, I know. Does that mean you don’t want to spend the evening with me?” You argued, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Don’t put words into my mouth.” Max sighed, but he still had that familiar smile on his face. “I’d love to spend the night with you”, he sarcastically added while sneaking an arm around your waist to pull you closer to him.

“Okay, we don’t wanna know more. We’re gonna go”, Ollie said as he grabbed Kimi’s shoulders and motioned for the other rookies to follow him.

“Max!” You exclaimed as you slapped his chest. “You traumatised our kids!”

“We could still find new ones?” He suggested.

“Not in F1, though!”

“There’s still Lando, I don’t know.” Max shrugged before he had an idea. “Or we can make our own.”

“Win tomorrow’s race and I’ll consider it”. You wouldn’t consider it, but what Max didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.

“Oh, I’ll win it alright. I just had some new extra motivation,” he bragged with a smug smile on his face before leading you away from goddamn Alpine and back to Red Bull.

…..

And the motivation did seem to have a positive impact on Max, as he had crossed the finish line in P1 – his first win since the 2024 Qatar Grand Prix. You obviously knew that Max had won all thanks to his racing talent, but he still teased you about your comment from yesterday when he went to hug you after getting out of his car.

“Have you considered ditching the kids and having our own?” He asked you in between kisses.

“Nice try, but I’ve grown too attached to them so it’s too late now.”

“Fair enough”, he replied. Max gave you one last quick kiss before going to share his win’s happiness with the rest of his team.

The joy on his face was contagious, and you couldn’t help the matching smile that appeared on your face. Max would have a tough season, but he had shown that he wouldn’t give up that easily and that he was still capable of greatness even with both McLaren against him.

Speaking of great things, you were also over the moon due to three of your grid kids managing to get points today. The ones who had gotten into Q3 yesterday had succeeded in finishing the race in the top ten – that is to say Kimi in P6, Isack in P8, and Ollie in P10. You were especially proud of Isack as he had scored his first points as an F1 driver.

So that’s why you were now collecting everyone from their respective garage. You had told Max that you would come back to Red Bull with the rookies, and he agreed to wait. He had planned to celebrate with the team tonight, but he thought that it would still be nice to spend time with you and the rookies before going out to party.

After a quick trip to Haas, Mercedes, and Racing Bulls, you had the three drivers around you and you all walked back to Red Bull where Max was waiting for you. Obviously, race talk was to be expected as soon the four drivers were reunited. So you all began to discuss today’s highlights – there weren’t that many if someone asked you, except for Alex’s radios.

“The only impressive thing about today is Max winning four times in a row here,” you stated. “Y’all didn’t really give me an interesting race.”

“But we all got points!” Kimi argued. “That’s the main achievement. And I also led the race for a while!”

“Of course, and I’m very proud of you! The race as a whole was just… very reminiscent of a certain track where nothing happens.”

“Monaco?” The rookies all wondered, to which you nodded.

“I mean, Monaco last year was actually a bit more entertaining than usual. There were a couple crashes,” Max reminded.

“Says the guy who should have brought his pillow. You’re just saying that because Charles finally won his home race.”

“God forbid a guy is happy for a friend”, Max sighed with a shrug.

Stopping in your tracks, you were left speechless. The drivers kept walking for a few seconds until they noticed that you were behind them, looking at Max like he had grown another head.

“What’s wrong?” Max asked.

“Who taught you that?” You knew the trend from spending way too much time on TikTok, but why did your boyfriend know it too?

“Gabriel and I did”, Isack proudly claimed. “Before the parade, we were just exchanging ideas for our teams’ content.”

“It’s very educational,” Max said. “Maybe I should spend more time around the youth.”

“You act like you’re fifty, mate.” Ollie’s words made you laugh. “But we can fix that tonight; teach you more about social media.”

“I feel like you’re gonna ask me to film a stupid trend at the end of the night.”

“Never”, you reassured him. “As long as you pay the bill.”

“Be careful with the headline: Max Verstappen’s girlfriend is a gold digger and forces him to pay for her at the restaurant.”

You had seen Max laugh in the years that you had been together; seen him chuckle, burst out laughing; or just a sarcastic laugh. But the one he let out at this moment after Kimi’s words, was almost one of a kind. It was the genuine laugh, the one that took over Max within a second and left him breathless.

Max put his arm around Kimi’s shoulder, and you knew at that moment that this was it: Max was as smitten as you with the rookies, and he would never let them go from now on.

…..

When you arrived at the restaurant where you had booked a table, Max had come back to linger by your side for a bit as a waitress led the rookies to the table.

“They’re great kids,” he simply stated. “Don’t think I can be apart from them now.”

“You didn’t really have a choice from the moment that you started taking them under your wing. Should’ve thought about it before you became a role model for them.”

“More like they chose me as their own”, Max clarified.

“Except for Isack.”

“Except for Isack”, Max repeated with a chuckle. “Can’t compete with Lewis on this one.”

But honestly, even if the rookies had other favourites, the bond they were creating with Max was one of a kind; and you were glad to be able to be part of it.

When you and Max reached your table, the rookies were all sitting down and already looking at the menus. They asked about what you were planning to eat, comparing who had the most similar taste to yours. They even offered to share some of their food with you, after they had seen that you had taken a few bites from Max’s plate. And only when you reached dessert, did they realise that Max was still with them.

“You’re okay just spending the evening with us?” Ollie wondered.

“Yeah, didn’t you want to celebrate with your team?” Kimi added.

Looking at Max, you were carefully awaiting his reply. You hadn’t commented on it when you saw the time pass, and he was still peacefully enjoying his meal.

“Well…” Almost nervous to have been put on the spot, Max took a few seconds before answering. “I’ve won so many races already; doesn’t hurt to skip one celebration.”

He tried to pretend like he was indifferent to this, but you knew better. And Max knew that you knew when he caught you softly smiling at him, mouthing ‘liar’.

“Or maybe you just enjoy spending time with us”, Isack jokingly suggested.

“Yeah, maybe… must be that,” Max kind of confirmed.

But it was that. Max did currently enjoy spending his evening with you and your grid kids more than he would have enjoyed going out to party with his team. And if you weren’t already completely in love with this man, then you sure as hell were now.

_________________________________________________

Then, there was Bahrain.

To avoid having jealous rookies, Max had offered them all to fly on his private jet from Japan – safe to say, no one had refused the offer. Liam and Jack didn’t hesitate to remind the others that they had done this before, a smug smile on their faces as they confidently roamed around the jet when everyone got on.

“Okay, so this is where I sat last week”, Liam proudly announced as he pointed to a seat. “Jack was right there, and–”

“Mate, shut up. We don’t need you to play tour guide”, Kimi complained.

“Yeah, we’ll be just fine without you…” Ollie added as he side eyed the Kiwi driver. He approached what Liam has described as his seat, and took it as his own. “Though, I gotta admit this one is comfortable indeed.”

“That was where I was planning to sit, Ollie. You can choose somewhere else”, Liam nicely suggested.

“Don’t see your name written there”, the Brit said as he pretended to look around.

“Oh my God… I swear I’ll run you off track,” Liam threatened with a sigh before he went to sit a couple rows behind.

“I don’t want anyone to threaten anyone, please. I won’t hesitate to leave you stranded in Japan,” you warned the rookies. “Is that clear?” Your gaze stayed longer on Liam and Ollie than on the others, hoping that they would get the message.

“Yes Mum,” they all replied in unison. Their tone was definitely sarcastic, as a few of them rolled their eyes along with a smile.

“Be careful with how you speak to her,” Max told the rookies as he went to stand beside you. “You’re on my jet, you respect my girl.”

“We’re being respectful!” Kimi claimed, to which the other rookies nodded.

“Suddenly, you’re all getting along when it’s to be united against us. I don’t know if that’s a good thing, though.” You sat down across Ollie, getting comfortable. “Everyone sit please, I think we’re taking off soon.”

“Yeah, buckle up kids.” Max motioned for the rookies to find a seat, before he confirmed to the cabin crew that they were good to go.

The flight would be a long one like the previous week when you flew to Japan, so you really hoped that you could manage to keep everyone entertained. It honestly didn’t take long for all the drivers – Max included – to find something to do, and you were glad to be able to do your own thing.

You always brought a couple books with you when you were accompanying Max to his races, as you could take advantage of the numerous flights done throughout the season to at least finish several series in a short amount of time. So as usual, you were pulling out your current book and looked forward to finishing it. Last time you had paused your crime novel, you were in the middle of the investigation and making crazy theories – that you sometimes annoyed Maw with – about who the killer could be.

…..

An hour later, you were finally closing your book and putting it down on your lap. Similar to most of the crime novels you would read, you hadn’t predicted who the murderer had been even though it was making so much sense when the detective explained it.

While you unlocked your phone to add your finished book to Goodreads, you could feel a gaze on you. And when you looked up from your phone a couple minutes later, your eyes met Kimi’s. You gave him a smile, silently asking if he needed anything. He took that as a sign to stand up and walk up to you, his face showing some stress.

“Can I bother you with something?” He shyly asked, afraid that he was disturbing your peace. He had waited for you to finish your book before even having the nerves to come up to you.

“Of course, Kimi. How can I help?”

“Are you good at maths?”

“Maths?” You repeated. Kimi nodded and you thought for a second. “I think I can manage high school level, yeah. Want me to look at it?”

The bright smile that made its way on Kimi’s face was almost enough to blind you. He was so relieved at your positive reaction, and he immediately handed you his textbook.

“Take my seat, Kimi.” Max slowly stood up as he motioned for the Italian to replace him next to you.

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah, yeah…” Max ran his finger through his hair, as his eyes settled on the back of the jet. “I’m gonna stretch my legs a bit and get a drink, you guys want anything?”

Both you and Kimi shook your heads. Kimi then took Max’s seat, and observed you as you were reading the maths problem he was having issues with.

“Show me what you’ve done for now,” you said before Kimi also gave you his notes. You looked back and forth between what he had written and the exercise, before you managed to pinpoint what was confusing him. “Okay, got it!”

For the next couple hours, you worked with Kimi on his maths exercises as he showed you his method which you would correct when necessary. He was not a dumb kid, far from it, but he just needed someone else other than his high school teacher to explain things to him. You were definitely not a teacher yourself, but it seemed that your way of seeing things was close enough to Kimi’s. Therefore, he was gradually understanding his lesson better and was able to do his calculations a bit quicker than before as he more easily knew which formula to use.

You didn’t know whether you had just gotten the title of Kimi’s official maths tutor or not, but the esteem that the young driver had for you had exponentially risen and you were definitely his favourite person from now on. He thanked you at least a dozen times, as he was over the moon that he would not get behind his classmates while he was racing around the world.

Although glad that you had been able to help him, you were thankful that Kimi was the only driver who still had school as you didn’t know if you would survive parenting and teaching all the rookies at the same time.

…..

A short layover to breathe some fresh air, several chaotic card games, and a couple naps later: you were finally landing in Bahrain.

You already knew that the race weekend was starting more peacefully than the last one, as all your grid kids were leaving the plane on equal terms. This meant that the rookies would be less grumpy about having to split your time between them.

On Friday, you spent the first half of the day with Ollie. He was being replaced with Haas’s reserve driver – Ryo Hirakawa – for FP1 and was therefore “free to hang out with you” as he happily told you. His notion of being free wasn’t exactly the same as you, especially when he actually spent the first half hour of FP1 at the pit wall. Still, he eventually took the time to be there with you in his garage during the second half. He introduced you to the mechanics, showed you his driver’s room, and tried to make you spill secrets about Red Bull with some engineers.

You had a good time, and you truly enjoyed seeing more of Ollie in his ‘racing habitat’. You had always spent most of your weekends in the Red Bull garage since you started dating Max, so this was a nice change. Haas was another type of family, maybe – definitely – friendlier than what you were used to with Christian Horner and Helmut Marko. You even had the opportunity to meet Laura, the first and only female engineer in Formula 1, after the session had ended. You were glad to talk a bit with her, and you could only express your admiration towards the fact that she had reached the pinnacle of motorsport.

Eventually, Max called you to know about your whereabouts and suggested that you have a late lunch with him. He then had no choice but to accept when you answered his call on speaker with Ollie beside you, the rookie asking to join you. He also had to agree to Kimi tagging along when you and Ollie met him on your way back to Red Bull.

Fortunately for Max, the two rookies were needed back to their respective garages earlier than expected due to their lack of racing during FP1. So now, he could properly enjoy some alone time with you.

“I know you pretend to be annoyed with them, but you actually love spending time with them.”

“I only put up with it because you love spending time with them.” That was a lie, and the both of you knew it. “I can admit they’re growing on me, but I’m allowed to want to hangout with my girlfriend during the races. Alone.”

“We’re always together outside of races though,” you pointed out.

“Except when we do overtime”, Max added.

“Overtime?” You stifled a laugh. “You act like it’s a full-time job to take care of them.”

“It is a full-time job to be parents.”

“So you admit to being their grid dad?” You teased him.

“Step-dad, maybe…” He reluctantly admitted. “You’re the one who adopted them, I’m just accepting my fate because I’m dating you.”

“You’re unbelievable! You’re the one who began taking them under your wing during testing!”

You were appalled at Max’s refusal to admit of being the one who started this entire thing, until you noticed the smirk on his face. That damn smirk, you thought. That damn smirk that meant that Max was just toying with you, enjoying the fact that he could rile you up anytime.

“You’re just fucking with me”, you concluded.

“Of course I am,” he confirmed with a laugh. “I know what I did. And I absolutely know that I can’t pretend not to enjoy spending time with them. They’re indeed a bit overwhelming sometimes when I just wanna be alone with you, but they’re nice kids and I can’t argue with their passion.”

“You’re just a softie, Max. Who would’ve thought?” You wanted to tease him; but deep down, you were just melting at how sweet Max was. He had truly grown attached to the rookies, as much as you did, and it warmed your heart. “Wait, so you wouldn’t mind if we adopt some more? I have some names to suggest.”

“Please no,” Max immediately refused. “Six is more than enough.”

“But I’m sure they’re nice kids too!” You tried to plead your case, doing the best that you could at giving puppy eyes to Max.

“No”, he refused once again. But after a minute of silence, he eventually asked: “Just out of curiosity, who are you thinking of?”

“Luke and Dino”, you told him with a satisfied smile.

Max pretended to think about it for a moment, grabbing a bite of his food. You were thoroughly watching him, and waited for his reply. Eventually, Max sighed and you knew you had won.

“Maybe when they’re in F1, you can ask again…” He mumbled before you quietly cheered with a fist pump. Max softly smiled at the scene, and shook his head when he realised what he had just promised you.

He now just had to hope that there wouldn’t be any new rookies for at least a few years.

…..

The rest of the weekend was quite uneventful, the only thing worth noting was the insane heat that had you always carrying an iced drink wherever you went. You had been envying Mercedes’s space jacket that seemed to be doing wonders for Kimi and George, which almost made you go to their garage to ask for one.

Max wasn’t having the best weekend, which was a slight disappointment for him and his team after his superb race in Japan last week. On Saturday, the Dutch driver had only managed to reach the fourth row. He was two tenths off Lando and six tenths off Oscar – who had gotten pole, which was highlighting the fact that Red Bull was not going to have a flawless season. Even Kimi had qualified higher than him, getting P5 after a small penalty that made him lose a position post-qualifying.

The other rookies were scattered across the rest of the grid: Jack and Isack would start right outside points; while Liam, Gabriel, and Ollie had not made it to Q2. You had offered extra support to Ollie, who would start dead last, and encouraged him until the day of the race.

It seemed to have positively affected him, as he gained ten positions during the race and ended up being the only rookie to score points in Bahrain. Max had only reached P6 at the chequered flag, far from the podium he had been used to being on. He knew he had no choice but to accept that this could be a reoccurring performance from his car, and could only hope to keep getting the most out of it to still be a podium contender for the next race.

After the post-race interviews, you wanted to celebrate with Ollie as you were over the moon at his performance and his working strategy that had accommodated the safety car. But you knew he was with his father and brother, so you decided to let him have some family time.

However, you hadn’t thought about the fact that you were now like family to him as well. Because as you were waiting near the Red Bull hospitality for Max to finish his interviews – he was weirdly always in very high demand from every channel when he missed out on a podium, you saw the Bearman men walking up to you.

Ollie was frantically waving at you, yelling at his father and brother to keep up.

“She’s there, come on! Be quicker”, he ordered them as his long legs made him reach you faster than his family.

“Ollie, hi sweetheart!” You went for a hug, rubbing his back. “What a great race you did, I’m super proud of you!”

“Thanks,” he replied with a bright smile. He noticed his family finally there, and introduced you to them. “So this is my dad, and my brother Thomas. Guys, this is–”

“We know”, Thomas interrupted with a deadpan tone. He said your name and reached out his hand for you to shake. “He already talked a lot before, but now he talks even more when it’s about you.”

“Don’t be rude to your brother”, his dad scolded. “Sorry about him. But he’s right, we’ve heard lots about you.”

“Oh! All good things I hope,” you said with a nervous chuckle as you also shook Ollie’s dad’s hand.

“Of course, Ollie just loves telling us about you and your boyfriend spending time with him. It’s honestly reassuring to know he has you if we’re not there for him.”

“Well, I love Ollie – Max does too. So, it’s really my pleasure to have him around.” You were being genuine, and Ollie’s dad could only approve of you being a new adult figure in his son’s life. “You have a good kid, sir. Extremely respectful and really passionate,”, you told him as you softly looked at Ollie.

Ollie couldn’t have expected a better encounter between his dad and his grid mum. His eyes were bright and his smile wide, happy to have made his two families meet.

“Do you want to join us for a late dinner?” Ollie’s dad offered. “You can bring Max as well if he wants too.”

“Oh, that’s sweet. But I wouldn’t want to impose!” You wanted to refuse, but another glance at Ollie and you saw how hopeful his expression was.

“Just a drink then?” Ollie’s dad suggested, to which you nodded.

“Great!” Ollie cheered. “Call Max and get him here ASAP,” he told you.

“Jeez, calm down. It’s almost like you’re more excited to see him than me now”, you teased.

“Well, he’s the world champion.”

“And here I thought you were starting to like me better!”

As you bickered back and forth while texting Max to know his whereabouts, Ollie’s dad observed the exchange and he could only smile at the scene. It was easy for him to notice your motherly nature, gentle and caring. He knew his son was in good hands around the paddock, and he was truly glad to see that Ollie was surrounding himself with good people that could be trusted.

_________________________________________________

Finally, there was Saudi Arabia.

You had seen the pictures of some drivers arriving at the airport. And you had witnessed how welcomed they were when you arrived with Max. Like everyone else, he had been gifted a massive bouquet of flowers that you would have been jealous of if anyone other than the grand prix staff had given it to your boyfriend.

As soon as you left the airport before taking a taxi to your hotel, Max immediately gave you the flowers. One could have thought that it meant he just wanted you to take them as Max was already holding your suitcases, but you knew better.

Without a word, you understood what Max meant. He was just offering you the bouquet. For him, it meant more sense for you to have it. The flowers were pretty, like you, and he just felt like you deserved them more than he did. Also, it meant that Max could see a smile slowly making its way on your face and that was worth more than anything else in the world to him.

…..

As soon as you entered your hotel room, your first instinct was to lay on the bed with a relieved sigh. Max was supposed to be at the track soon, and your only wish was to take a nap.

“I really need to get used to triple headers again. That shit is exhausting,” you complained.

“Just rest,” Max simply told you. “I’ll come back after I’m done with media day and we can go out to eat, is that good?”

“That’s a great plan, yeah.” You turned on your side, ready to fall asleep at any second.

Max softly smiled at you, and hoped that you would be able to get some energy back for the weekend. He closed the curtains a bit before leaving the room, hearing you thank him as he was about to open the door while you were quickly getting into a deep slumber.

When you woke up several hours later, the sun was starting to set. You yawned and stretched your arms before getting up, noticing Max on the couch a few metres away. He looked up from his phone when he heard the sheets rustling from your movements.

“Slept well?” He asked. He actually knew the answer already, due to you not having heard him get back as well as the pillow marks on your face.

“Best nap of my life, top ten easily. When did you get back?” You glanced at your watch, before taking a seat next to Max.

“Half hour ago, I think. Maybe forty minutes. Wanna get some food now or do you wanna do something else?”

“Food sounds perfect right now, I’m starving. I think I could go for…” Your voice got lower as something in your peripheral vision confused you.

“For?” Max repeated, expecting you to finish your sentence.

“What’s that?” You were now forgetting all about food, your gaze focused on the table near the windows.

“What’s what?”

“The flowers.”

“You mean the flowers from this morning? Yeah, what about it?”

“Why did one bouquet turn into seven?” You could have thought you were going crazy, but you were certain Max had only given you his bouquet earlier today.

“Oh, that’s just the rookies.” Max was acting as if it was a normal occurrence, leaving you speechless.

“They gave me their bouquet?”

“Yeah. Apparently they saw pictures of me giving you mine and they felt like you deserved theirs too,” he explained. “They all accompanied me to drop them off when I came back here.”

“Oh, okay…” You felt like crying. Why are those kids so sweet? You wondered. Even if they thought you deserved their flowers, you definitely didn’t deserve their kindness.

“Are you gonna think about it every day for the next week?”

“Absolutely,” you confirmed with a chuckle. “You know me so well – that’s for real so nice of them, I love them.”

“And they definitely love you too”, Max added.

After admiring the seven bouquets adorning the table for a few more minutes, you took a picture of the scenery and decided to make a groupchat with all the rookies to thank them for their thoughtfulness.

You didn’t know it yet though, but the groupchat would never experience a day of silence from the moment it got created. That’d be for you to enjoy – and for Max to dread whenever your phone would notify you of a text – as the rookies were definitely certified yappers.

…..

If you thought the heat had been too much in Bahrain, it was somehow worse here. You were extremely thankful for night races, but you were definitely not built for extreme temperatures and were already dreading Singapore months in advance.

Like the previous weekend, you were therefore holding a refreshing drink at every given moment and gladly sipped it. Max had stocked up for you in his driver’s room, but you had to discover that there was only Red Bull. Was Max trying to kill you? Perhaps. Was Max trying to kill himself? More likely.

But you just couldn’t be drinking that for the entire weekend. So on Friday evening, you ventured around the paddock to look for something else and met Gabriel on your way. He was unfortunately unable to take part in FP2 due to a fuel leak, and you offered him to join you on your quest for a decent drink.

“Sauber has surprisingly good stuff, if you want” Gabriel pointed out.

“I don’t wanna risk seeing Binotto, though. What about sneaking into McLaren?” You suggested. “The champions must have something nice.”

“You mean other than a life supply of Monster? Is it actually better than Red Bull?”

“Well, technically I do prefer it. Don’t tell Max though,” you whispered with a chuckle. “But yeah, I guess that means Mercedes is out too.”

Eventually, you and Gabriel ended up getting basic tap water somewhere random in the paddock as you were both too thirsty to spend more time deciding where to go.

It was rare for you to spend one-on-one time with Gabriel, but you were glad to get to know him more – you truly hadn’t spent as much with him as you did with the other rookies. Max had always told you about how he held the Brazilian driver in high regards, and you could easily understand why. Gabriel was easy to get along with, and you really hoped that he would one day be able to show his full potential to the world. He had won the F3 and F2 championships back to back, but was unfortunately in the worst car of the grid now that he was in F1. He was still waiting to get his first points of the season, and you were definitely rooting for him to score some before the end of the year.

It still wouldn’t be his weekend yet as once again, he had qualified P20 on Saturday. And although he had gained two positions the next day, he was still last in the race due to Pierre and Yuki both DNFing. Jack didn’t have the best end of a grand prix either as he finished right above Gabriel, both having been lapped during the race by the leaders. Ollie and Liam had been a bit closer to reaching the top ten, but only Isack and Kimi had actually scored points.

You wished you could have spent your post-race time with the rookies to congratulate the point scorers and cheer the others up, but you felt like Max needed the support more despite having finished on the podium. He had gotten P2, bringing some good points to the team. But it wasn’t enough for him – he should have been first at the chequered flag.

Max was pissed. He was mad about the unfair penalty, mad about the FIA, mad about everything. He had refused to say more than two words during the post-race interviews of the top three, and didn’t even participate in celebrating the papaya drivers on the podium – he had preferred to immediately down his fake champagne as if it were a real one.

You knew that it wouldn’t last. Maybe he would throw some snarky reminders during the next grand prix and complain about it for a couple days, but then he would get over it because it would annoy him even more to keep thinking about it.

So you did what a loving and supportive girlfriend would do: you waited for him to come back to his garage, sitting on the couch in his driver room. He was glad to see you when he entered the room, and even more so when you gave him a kiss.

One turned into two, and you were soon ready to give Max the best makeout session of his life. You really thought you would’ve stayed there all night with him until some Red Bull mechanics would force you out as they were dismantling everything. But that was until he was the one to cut it short with one last quick kiss before he let go of your waist. You reluctantly removed your arms that had been around your boyfriend’s shoulders, and waited for him to say something while he had begun to change from his racing suit.

“Text the kids, we’re going out as soon as I’m out of this.”

“The kids?” You questioned.

“The kids,” Max confirmed with a nod. “Tell them we’ll do whatever they wanna do, whether it’s having the biggest post-race dinner of their lives or just doing something fun – ask them if they wanna check out one of the amusement parks near the track.”

“Wow, okay.” You let out a chuckle, not expecting Max to suggest that. You did as you were told, and texted the rookies about Max’s idea.

Anyone free to go to an amusement park?

Max is offering (and probably paying)

Safe to say, replies were sent almost instantly. The rookies were all happy to see that you were the one texting, and they got even happier when they actually read the content of your messages. The smile that was forming on your face was enough of a confirmation to Max, as he knew that you had definitely received positive answers.

“All good?” Max asked you, to which you nodded. “Okay, let’s go then. I don’t wanna see or talk to anyone else here so let’s get the hell out of here before I go insane.”

“Yes sir,” you answered before following Max until you were out of the garage and walking towards the track exit.

When you were finally out of the paddock, you notified the rookies of your whereabouts then sent them your location so that they could find you and Max more easily. Soon enough, the six rookies had joined you and you could all go check out the nearest amusement park.

…..

You had been at the Atallah Happy Land Park for almost two hours, having already gone on several rides – the first having obviously been bumper cars. It was unusual to see Max being so carefree and relaxed around other people than you, but it seemed that the rookies got this effect on him – on anyone actually. Max was just having fun, enjoying the night.

Right now, you were currently on a bench. You were sipping a drink Max had insisted on buying you after you had made a comment about the heat still being too much for you. Your eyes were carefully observing the drivers from a few metres away. Max was in the middle of organising the order in which he and the rookies would do the next rides, based on how long the queues were and how far the rides were from each other.

You couldn’t help the smile that appeared on your face, as you thought about how lucky you were to have Max in your life. He was being so attentive to the six drivers around him, listening to all of them, and treating them like they were his equals. He was just glad to make them happy tonight, because it made him happy too.

Checking something on your phone, you didn’t notice someone approaching until they were right in front of you. You looked up at the sight of unknown shoes, and met the eyes of a random man. You raised an eyebrow at him, silently asking if he needed anything.

“Hi! I couldn’t help but notice you were sitting all alone here,” he said. “So I thought you might need company.”

The guy wasn’t necessarily creepy or making you uncomfortable – he seemed nice and had a gentle smile, but you wondered if he would eventually notice that seven F1 drivers were now looking in your direction.

“I’m not here alone, though.” You glanced at where Max and the rookies were. Your relaxed form was enough of an indication to Max that you were handling this, and he knew that he didn’t have to intervene.

“But you’re alone right now,” he pointed out. “I’m not trying to be insistent, sorry. But can I still sit and maybe get to know you?”

“I’m fine by myself. Thanks for the offer, though.” You gave the man a smile, one that would be kind enough but still showing that you wouldn’t change your mind.

“Oh, okay…”

From afar, Max was almost wanting to laugh as he noticed how the guy’s posture had slumped a bit – it was a sign that he wasn’t successful in shooting his shot with you. However, the rookies weren’t reading the situation in the same way as Max, and they were confused as to why your boyfriend was leaving you alone to fend for yourself.

“Shouldn’t you go save her?” Ollie wondered.

“This creep is bothering her and you’re not doing anything,” Liam added.

“She’s fine, don’t worry.” Max actually enjoyed seeing the rookies being worried for you – it was cute and endearing, but it wasn’t needed.

“If you won’t protect her: I will,” one of the drivers said before leaving the group to walk towards you.

Back to you, you thought you would now be left alone. But despite his previous words, it actually seemed that the guy would insist a bit more before giving.

“Well, it was still nice to meet you. I’m–”

“Leaving?” Someone behind the man asked.

You leaned on the side to see who had talked as you took another sip of your drink, and noticed that it was Kimi. He was trying to look intimidating, even though he was definitely a few inches shorter than the guy.

“Who even are you?” The man asked, now annoyed that he was being interrupted by a kid.

You wondered if he knew that there had been an F1 race right next to the amusement park, and if he would realise that Mercedes driver Kimi Antonelli was standing in front of him.

“I’m with her,” Kimi simply said. “And I think you’ve been bothering her too much, so you can leave now.”

“You’re dating her?”

“What? No! Oh my God, that’s my mum you’re talking about.” Kimi didn’t think before speaking, and he eventually processed his own words a few seconds later.

You wanted to laugh. You wanted to laugh so bad right now, but you figured it wouldn’t hurt to follow the lead of Kimi’s lapsus. You obviously knew that he had meant to describe you as his grid mum, but the lack of precision about your actual parental role was working better in this situation.

“That’s actually flattering that you think I’m young enough to date him, but yeah that’s my kid right there.” Deciding that you had entertained the guy enough, you stood up from the bench and smoothed out the wrinkles of your dress before going to stand by Kimi’s side.

“I tried to be nice and polite to you, you know. But I wouldn’t even date someone who’s already a mother, at a suspiciously young age.” The guy sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair, and turned around to walk away.

Exchanging a look with Kimi, you both bursted out laughing at what just happened.

“That was kinda funny, to be honest. Thanks for saving me”, you told Kimi as you ruffled his hair. “Son”, you added with a teasing smile.

“Stop, I’m embarrassed to have said that.” Kimi covered his face with his hands, blushing as he remembered his words.

“Don’t be”, you tried to reassure him. You put your arm around his shoulders, before pulling him alongside to walk back to the other drivers that had observed the situation from afar. “It was kinda cute how you came to save me – my knight in shining armour who protects me better than my own boyfriend.”

Blushing even more at the praise, Kimi couldn’t help the proud grin that appeared on his face. He realised that you would have actually handled it perfectly on your own, but he was glad that you had appreciated him coming to help you.

When you both joined the group that had been waiting for you, they all asked questions about what had been said. Not wanting to embarrass Kimi in front of his friends, you stayed vague and simply said that the Italian driver had been way too intimidating for the guy and that he had scared him off.

“I honestly have a hard time believing that Kimi would look threatening,” Gabriel teased.

“That guy didn’t stand a chance against Kimi, though. And I don’t know how much longer it would’ve taken for him to take a hint,” you explained.

Max knew what you meant. You would have been fine on your own, but you were still glad for Kimi to have sped up the process of making the man give up on you.

For several more minutes, the rookies kept commenting and making theories about what had gone on - which Kimi neither confirmed nor denied. Out of the corner of your eye, you then noticed that Jack was stifling a yawn as the conversation died down.

“Might be time to go to bed?” You suggested as the other rookies also started to yawn.

“Yeah, I think so…” Jack admitted.

“Are you leaving with us?” Ollie asked, expecting you and Max to walk them back.

“There’s one more ride I wanna do with her,” Max joined in as he slipped his arm around your waist. “So we’ll stay just for a bit, but you go back safely.”

“Text me when you’re back to your hotels”, you told the rookies who all nodded.

After sharing hugs, they then walked away from you and Max. They turned back a couple times to wave at you, yelling thank yous for inviting them. You waved back at them with a large grin on your face, until they were out of your sight.

“So, what have you planned for us now?”

“Just follow me, you’ll like it.”

“Confident are we now, Mr Verstappen?” You raised an eyebrow at him, trying to guess which ride – amongst the tons the park had – you hadn’t been on yet.

“Always, when it comes to you.”

Squeezing your waist, Max pulled you along while he started walking to where he wanted to take you. It only took a few minutes before you noticed which ride was in the direction where you were going.

The Ferris Wheel.

You had often told Max of your love of ferris wheels, trying to go on them whenever you had the chance. But to your luck, or more like lack thereof, there was always an issue: too many people queuing, technical difficulty, arriving right after it closed…

But as you stopped in front of the ferris wheel, it seemed like nothing was preventing you from going on it with Max.

So here you were now, sitting next to Max as the cabin was slowly going up. You could only admire the streets of Jeddah from up there, noticing the track that was near.

“Are you feeling a bit better now?” You eventually asked when the cabin stopped at its highest point. Your tone was quiet and soft, afraid to ruin the peaceful silence.

“Yeah,” Max replied. “Thanks for tonight, I really enjoyed it.”

“Well, it was your idea. I barely did anything.”

“You came. That matters to me,” he explained. “You matter to me. The kids too.” Max leaned back with a sigh. “Fuck, I love those kids.”

“Welcome to the club”, you said with a chuckle. Slipping your hand into Max’s, you squeezed it to remind him of your presence – not that he would ever forget it. “I’m really glad you had fun, that was like the best post-race activity we ever did.”

“I can think of another activity that might be on par with that.” Max looked at you, a smirk on his face.

“I really can’t take you anywhere, of my God!” You couldn't help laughing, which made Max chuckle as well. “If you’re lucky and I’m feeling generous, you might get to do this one too.” You saw the way Max's eyes lit up a bit as he straightened up. “Only if you behave once we’re back on the ground.”

“Yes ma’am,” Max promised with a grin.

A comfortable silence settled again, lasting until you were leaving the ferris wheel. You and Max roamed around the amusement park for a bit, walking hand in hand under the bright artificial lights, until you saw that they would close soon and it would be time for you both to go back to your hotel room.

The smile on your face hadn’t left yet, and your cheeks were still flushed as a result from the heat. Max stole a couple glances at you, admiring how you looked under the night sky of Jeddah. He was truly grateful for you, grateful for your support, grateful for your love.

As he removed his hand that was in yours, Max draped his arms around your shoulders. The gesture made you stop in your tracks and look up at him, before noticing that his eyes were already on you.

“What?” You asked with a confused smile.

“Nothing, you’re just beautiful. Can I not admire my girlfriend anymore?”

“Who would I be to deny you that”, you sarcastically replied as you put your arm around his waist

Taking advantage of the fact that your face was so close to his, Max leaned down and kissed you. It was short, but meaningful. When he pulled back, you didn't hesitate to use your free hand to cup his face and pull him down to kiss him again. His lips smiled against yours, and Max realised he could taste the slight remains of the sugary drink he had bought you earlier.

Not a word was needed between the two of you, as you mutually started walking again in the direction of your hotel. When stopping at crossroads, waiting for the lights to turn green, Max would give you quick forehead kisses. You would smile every time he did it, and the blush on your cheeks never had a chance to go away.

Max usually wasn’t much for PDA, unless it was an arm around you or his hand resting on your lower back, so you were pleasantly surprised at how affectionate he seemed tonight.

It was the consequence of everything that had happened today on track, making you the somewhat only stable thing in his day-to-day life. Max liked having you close to him, and he was definitely not letting go of you for the rest of the night.

..........

Taglist: @umm-i-love-u @callsign-mirage @freyathehuntress @elieanana @suns3treading @fastandcurious16 @l3thal-l0lita (couldn't tag the last 2 people sorry guys)

Hope y'all enjoyed this🫶🏻🫶🏻 took me a while to write it omg like i respected the poll that showed most people wanted the whole triple header in chap so this ended up being almost 10k words lol

I'm trying to not be too repetitive when i talk ab the race weekends, so I'll keep doing my best during the rest of the season to spice things up a bit and also focus on what happens off track like i did a bit here!!

I've started writing for the miami gp, and it should be out next week (i hope😭) + I'll def write a short part ab jack being swapped w franco bc i need smth to cope w the driver change

See you soon, take care of yourselves, i love y'all xx

[horreurscopes]

this one influencer on instagram sold her house in SF because the city got too expensive even owning her own house, and moved to portland where she bought another beautiful home that ended up having a gazillion issues that were undisclosed including black mold, and she's obviously having a bit of a breakdown, and people are being absolutely BRUTAL to her in the comments like "you are so entitled you deserve this happening to you stop asking for hand outs" levels of mean.... idk man perhaps we shouldn't see people who can afford homes as the enemy instead of y'know the billionaries who are making the houses expensive. reminds me of that poll here that was like "are people who make 100k a year rich" and the majority of results were "yes" and someone said something along the lines of "100k a year doesn't make someone rich guys i think you're just really poor" and it's like yeah. before everyone comes for me i literally have zero dollars in the bank right now i have been flat broke my entire adult life. it's just kind of a bummer that we've forgotten what middle class looks like and what should be the median standard of living makes stupid people who are suffering themselves go into evil joker mode