#and maybe thats the root of it. i dont feel like people try for me the way i have been trying and it makes me feel like i am not worth

[snekdood]

bitches be like. i hate vegans so much that i’ve decided i like killing animals and its fine and i dont feel bad and animals dont have feelings and its fine and im cool subversive and different and edgy and like to post fucked up stuff to make vegans uncomfortable bc im just so cool

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Applied for a job and applying to community college. It feels weird. It feels like I'm 18 again, even though I'm turning 23 in less than a week. It feels promising though

[pu-butt]

I might come back at a later time with an actually thorough analysis on this, but the irony of those posts that go like "wow we could make a whole new version of We Didn't Start The Fire with just the events of the past five years" really is so interesting to me.

Like the story behind the song is that at age 40 Billy Joel was talking to a 21 year old guy who was complaining about how crazy the time he was living in was and thereby undermining the times before that. So billy joel wrote we didnt start the fire as a way to show that any time period has been filled with extreme events. Yes, times are crazy now and they have always been crazy and they will continue to be crazy. And theres a bunch of ways one may interpret those statements and one can see it as a message of hope or understanding or dismissal, but i'm not really interested in dissecting it in such a way here right now honestly bcs im sleepy.

It's just so funny to me that the whole point of this song is to point out that actually the experience of living through crazy and world-changing times is NOT unique and here all these people are going like "woaah this is such a unique time we could write We Didn't Start The Fire all over again!" as if that isn't the exact opposite of the point of the song!

[itsalwaysdark]

whining hours . sry

[readymades2002]

genuinely it is difficult having cultivated the like. taste in fiction that i have now that i am in a place where i'm trying to talk to people more and make friends and so on and so forth and this is the field i'm having to play on with them. i don't think anyone has to be critic-brained (i do think its good to recognize that media is Authored and to look at things with both eyes open but some people simply enjoy things in other ways and i may get irritated by that but i don't suppose its Wrong) and i have in fact met people who Will meet me in that field but it doesnt change that the field i like to play in is much different and no one is expected to meet me there in the same way i am expected to play ball with marvel fans

[caruliaa]

consuming media your mutuals like is so scary bc what if im a misunderstander what if my mutuals think all my takes r wrong and cringe and im not even an understander of the media and im wrong about it thats so scary. what if im wrong abt man from the podcast . even worse what if being worried abt being wrong about man from the podcast means i dont let myself enjoy it and talk with people about it and ruins the whole thing for me bc thats what im more scared abt tbh . agh .

[phagodyke]

hmm.

[honeytonedhottie]

decentering men and recentering urself⋆.ೃ࿔*:･💅🏽💓

the secret to decentering men and not having ur entire world revolving around them (bcuz it should be revolving around you, duh) is having a fulfilling life. it makes me ICK so bad when im watching a video or reading a post and im rly loving it, and then it'll find SOME way to make it revolve around men. like can we not?…💬🎀

WHY WE CENTER THE OPPOSITE SEX ;

a lot of people find themselves centering their lives around the opposite sex in an attempt to fill a void within themselves. they do it because they aren't happy with themselves or their lives, or maybe its learned behavior. whatever the reason is, its NOT hot.

some things that someone who centers men might think are "oh my life is so boring, maybe it would be spiced up if i got with a man" or "maybe it'll bring some excitement into my day" like EUGHHH. obviously the solution is to find ways to make our lives fulfilling but how do we do that? and how do we get to the root cause and squash this self sabotaging behavior?

SELF AWARENESS ;

if u have nothing going on for u, ofc ur gonna be energetically desperate and accepting anything and EVERYTHING. practice self awareness and try to get to the root cause of why u center men through things like shadow work, therapy, or just straight up having an honest conversation with urself cuz i swear it helps.

when you make the conscious effort to build ur dream life you'll notice that people that are on the same mindset as you will vibe with the REAL you. the need to fake/adjust urself to fit in with other people will dissipate because ur fitting into ur own standards and ur connections will be more meaningful because of it.

TAKE UR POWER BACK ;

no ones actions should ruin ur day or make u upset for more then a day (even less) cuz its YOUR world. 💕🍰

make time for YOU, doll. plan self care routines for urself every week. doing face masks, journalling, vision boarding, WHATEVER U LIKE TO DO. making time for urself reminds u that ur the main character of ur life so u dont have to settle for crumbs.

stop giving that power to someone else and dictate how u feel, NOT the actions of a significant other or the opposite sex or anybody. the reason why its important to make sure that ur the center of ur own life is so that you can be happy and fulfilled regardless of if there is a man or if there isnt a man present. so the objective is to decenter men -> and then put yourself at the center

GET A HOBBY ;

find something to make ur life fulfilling. pursue ur OWN interests and try out different hobbies if ur unsure of what ur interests are yet. cultivate ur world to the point where it GLEAMS with perfection and then do a little extra. build a life that u love so much that whether u get male attention or validation doesnt even matter cuz their opinions have little to no relevance 💀

challenge yourself: next time you catch yourself thinking, ‘would a guy like this?’ flip it and ask urself "hey, do i like this?" start checking with yourself first instead of checking with others.

MAKING THE DECISION TO DECENTER MEN ;

decentering men simply means that ur deciding to no longer think, feel, act, dress, or plan ur life around a man or for the validation of any man…💬🎀

relationships will actually get BETTER when u decenter the opposite sex. cuz ur not looking for someone to compete with and ur whole on ur own. this sets the stage for balance and mutual respect and THATS hot.

you can be in a relationship and still decenter men. decentering men simply means that you are the priority, not the relationship. how can we tell if we're decentering men or not? here are a few questions to help you know if u are ->

if i did not care about looking good to the opposite sex what would i actually like to wear?

if i did not get married, how could i create the best and most abundant life for myself?

what hobbies/interests do i have that dont involve being around men/have male attention as a component of it?

[chaifootsteps]

maybe this is an exaggeration, but glitz and glam feel like stella on crack to me, because its not one, but two women, who have to not only sexualize themselves for the sake of a job they probably wouldnt be doing if they had a choice for a better paying career, (because they fucking hate each other obviously, they dont want to work together at all, even if theyre good at it,) they also have to sexualize their other sibling.

imagine if you had to sexualize yourself and the twin sister youve grown up with your entire life, because you dont have any other monetary option. why else would they be doing it at all if they fucking despise the other, if not for income? viv making them hate each other so much and trying so goddamn hard to make them unjustified assholes, accidentally did the opposite, because just like stella, the anger they feel towards someone else they're forced to be with is justified, no matter how the narrative wants you to think theyre not.

especially when family doing sex work together, especially women, parallels the real world scenario in which it happens as well, making money off of peoples (mostly mens) incest fetish, by giving them the real deal. that's what glitz and glam are supposed to be, except it's supposed to be bad that they're making bank off of people in hell wanting to see sisters flashing their tits, and actually, theyre the bad guys for exploiting a nasty kink people have, and for working with mammon exclusively for money instead of out of passion like fizz did- money that they probably need to live far more then mr. immortal-bride-to-be-of-fucking-asmodeus-himself needs!

and y'know what the worst part is? it literally didn't have to be this way. squidderdoodles concept art only showed the glitz and glam sisters serving cunt with their outfits/designs and serving actually clowning on the stage, not sexualized fan service, but viv threw that away and was like, "nah, actually, i think they should be siblings! that rub their asses and flash their tits together :)" just because she wanted fizz to look better in comparison, and understood she needed a comedically bad villain in comparison, because she must think her audience is too stupid to understand that youre supposed to root for fizz in this ep, unless theres a newly made and conveniently placed character to make that obvious to the viewer. i mean, why else does oliver exist? i genuinely think thats the only reason theyre written like caricatures of bitches, despite the fact they unintentionally have just as much of a potentially sympathetic backstory/episode to me as stella does.

An entire, Viv-free series based off of Salem's vastly superior concept is what Glitz and Glam deserve, what Salem deserves, and what we all deserve.

[kurishiri]

contains spoilers for alfons route

thank you for the ask, anon!

Anonymous asked:

Hello!! I wanted to ask you a question about alfons if that is okay with you?

You dont have to answer if you dont want!! I just thought you would be the best person to anwser this if you dont mind?

So as a character personally he isn't really my cup of tea so I wasn't planning to read his route but I do enjoy reading your translations (you're doing great!!<3) so I did read a little but of his route here and there I guess and there's something that has left this bad taste in my mouth so l wanted to see your perspective on it since you propably know alfons better than I do, so: in his mad love route he tells Kate:

<<Alfons: When it comes to playing at night, it does pain me to say, but l reckon I won't be able to stop that. It's my hobby, pleasure, and my life work, you see.>>

But he promises her in the end to only be faithful to her yet in his epilogue not only does he make her feel lonely but it turns out he didn't keep his promise by kissing atleast 3 other people?? Kate doesn't seem to mind and considering that their relationship is complicated I don't think that to them its that big of a deal but from my perspective I see this as kind of like..cheating?? Maybe it's too harsh of a word but they are lovers aren't they?? Even if he does love Kate.. why???

there may be very minor spoilers for elbies route

hi there, anon! first of all, i really appreciate you reading my tls! even for a character who may not be your cup of tea too 😳 big respect! i’ll try my best to phrase my perspective, but if anything comes out awkward, i apologize in advance!

i think i can understand where they’re coming from, personally. and maybe this has something to do with my way of thinking or orientation that kissing someone does not necessarily equate to having feelings for them. i dont think the act of kissing itself needs to be romantic. for example, if i had a partner and we were playing a game with friends and my partner had to kiss another person on the lips, i would be fine with it. and thats probably the level alfons thinks of kissing as well.

if we think abt alfons himself…well, kissing to him may as well be a greeting. hell, he kissed kate on the lips very shamelessly in elbies route even though he’s fully aware kate would never pursue him romantically nor does he hold any intention to steal her away from elbie. (though it can be stated that he felt some level of attraction toward kate…it may or may not have been romantic. we don’t know and thats up to interpretation). and with how many times al kissed kate without really holding very romantic feelings for her in his own route…it could very much be said that kissing is solely physical for him.

he viewed things like kissing and sex as tools to make others forget abt their worries. and i dont think simply getting together with kate alone would be enough to radically change his entire view on such things — views which are also rooted in his philosophy he’s held for years.

so the fact he promised to never have sex with anyone but her at the end of his main story, even with the views he holds abt sex, is already leaps and bounds of faith to him, in my eyes at least.

all that said, who’s to say that change is absolutely impossible? even though main stories come to an end, they also open the door for possibilities. there are many events to come with alfons. maybe you can feel a change through the development of future events. who knows!

[smolweeblets]

Hi! Could I request a Yelena x reader? Nothing specific, I just like seeing stuff for her.

General Yelena headcanons

GN reader

-Despite her looks shes actually just a softy. Many people would think otherwise but seriously show this woman some love shed do anything for you.

-Cold ass feet. Youre just trying to sleep but you get assaulted by her freezing toes. They literally feel like ice cubes against your legs.

-Really resilient against the cold. Its her Russian roots I swear. Wait, yeah thats an hc too,

-Shes russian. Speaks to you in it sometimes, maybe just the pet name here and there. Makes you melt each and every time.

-If she was a dog she'd be a borzoi. You know those long and lanky ass dogs that were being memed in tiktok for a while? Yeah, those guys.

-On the topic of pets, i already posted something about this before but i totally see her having a rat with an unsettlingly human name like gertrude or something.

-The things I would sacrifice to hear this woman's morning voice LORDD. Like shes just so groggy and disoriented but she gives you a soft smile and talks to you in that deep raspy voice… my knees are buckling.

-She doesnt like talking a lot in the mornings, sadly. She needs a few minutes to feel ready to talk, but dont worry, youll still hear the morning voice, just gotta wait a while for it. It's fully worth it, promise.

-Okay but you gotta be ready if you want to hear it because this woman wakes up at the asscrack of dawn.

-Huge morning person, makes her feel productive. She sleeps at like 9 pm and is grumpy if you make her stay awake for much longer.

-Shes a loner. This woman is such a loser.

-Okay no she has that charisma and knows how to get what she wants but she doesnt have a lot of actual friends, she thinks of most people as good acquaintances at best.

-Definitely uses you as an armrest when youre standing. Its the rules.

-Huge fucking romantic but is SO awkward abt it its so cute.

-Brings you flowers and shes so flushed when she gives them.

-”Uh, here you go-” She hands you the flowers and gazes at you with so much affection and at your happy expression. It actually hurts how much she loves you.

-Not a huge fan of pda, but will indulge you if you feel especially touchy.

-That being said, loves randomly holding you in her arms when you two are just standing there. Like, waiting in a line or something? Her head is resting atop yours and her arms are around you.

-Okay so I kinda imagine her to be similar to ice bear from we bear bears they just have similar vibes

A/n: Thank you so much for requesting this, finally gave me motivation to write. Ive been wanting to write for her more but have had no ideas so I hope something like this is okay. Really tired of ppl just portraying her as a hot manipulative mommy like pls shes allowed to have a personality

[ecofear]

what is the pain?

oh i have like a tooth thing. i dont know what it is

i saw a dentist at 3 weeks of pain (i wasnt allowed to go before cuz it was over the holidays and i would ruin the holidays with it) and they did x rays and didnt find anything and did the tooth tapping thing and it didnt hurt . so they gave me a week of antibiotics but it did not help

its like an extremely sharp pulse of pain the kind u cant just ignore its got me fucking grabbing my teeth and my gums for dear life . when it first happened i screamed and started to cry ive never felt anything like it before . and im disabled with chronic pain ! its . kind of crazy

sometimes my teeth.. pulse.. it doesnt hurt but its like shocking? i flinch? i can handle that. i hate it but i can handle that. its the fucking pain. and the pain leaves me so sore its like someone punched me. and it hurts in my cheekbone.

it started with my crown but now other teeth hurt more and idk. im going dentist again on monday but its a 10 minute checkup appointment just to see if the antibiotics helped. i will ofc say no. we will see? maybe i need like a root canal or a proper crown? my crowns like a cap instead of one of the real fuckers? i think maybe i got like. a bad infection thats spreading and antibiotics can't reach it? like pulp.. infection, i think its called? idk man i just know ive never felt anything like it before

ive been 1 side of the mouth eating but it doesnt always help. some foods are awkward so im also limited due to the limits of what im allowed to purchase and have in the house and stuff. liquids are hard because i cant let the liquid go near those teeth and its a whole row thats causing issue now, and the like motion of sucking hurts a lot too? so i have to drink gently, but also not let the liquid escape into my mouth i gotta swallow it asap. so its kinda awkward? and i cut open my gum the other day cuz the side of my mouth i'm eating on now had the back molar i think its spelt removed last year so i cant chew as well and ended up cutting my gum open where that tooth was trying to chew something i think was too hard for me now i knowww but now eating at all is sore but . sore is better than the pain.

IDK IM LIKE TURNING THIS INTO A RANT IVE PURPOSEFULLY NOT TALKED ABOUT THIS CUZ I HATE WHINING ABOUT REAL SHIT I HATE BEING REAL WITH PEOPLE i really fucking do this is why i complain about shit that doesnt matter its like an outlet for all my frustrations with real issues like this one without having to be honest. but man its been so long now im just. maybe i am tired and i need a lil pity? a little bit of sympathy? it hurts man. it really hurts. and i.

i did get back on nhs dentist. FINALLY. they wouldnt let me until i threatened to stop coming. so all my work last year cost full price (ended up being 1000 pounds in dentist fees i am. still feeling. more than i want to admit) so its gonna be cheaper. but it s still gonna cost. and root canals and crowns arent cheap. even on nhs. and im so scared bro. even if i like. even if they figure it out and find the issue , and the unknown of it all is terrifying me, what if i cant afford it ? what if they book it and im too anxious to stop them and then i have even more debt? oh god now im tearing up. ANYWAY

THATS MY PAIN THANKS FOR LISTENING i may delete this later but im gonna post it force myself to cuz. i do wanna vent. and maybe i want someone to feel bad for me. cuz i feel so fucking lonely bro. ANYWAYYYYYYYYY

[goatpaste]

watching through p2 of jojos again and it never like, it never stop feeling weird to me how weirdly human araki wrote the pillar man. with so many traits and points make them feel like complex characters, heros of their own story, just weirdly feel sympathetic and human to the point of connection to them.

Like Josephs point in making on meeting santana that 'we can assume he's just bad, this is a fucked up situation to be in maybe so we should give him the benefit of the doubt'

whams WHOle character good god could i put a lot of talk into him

Esidisis behavior and way of acting

Kars enjoyment of animals and plants and for nature in general, a wish to walk in the sun and just kinda a dislike for human people. The way he violently mourns for his fallen family

but none of it matters because you know araki wanted them, even with flaws, to be the main villians. thats all it is. a greatest evil on earth to deal with even if they show human traits.

but it feels so weird, because when im like 'idk i dont think the pillar man did anything wrong, let them do what they want, like sorry joseph but im not rooting for your side' im kinda not kidding. like yes your supposes to assume the worst of the pillar men and their intentions and what they'll do to people if they can walk in the sun. but like, they barely did much when walking around people at night unless they deamed them a threat to themself or something they cared about.

idk i think this comes back around to my feelings that BT really should have been a lil bit longer and fleshed out. its such a shame because while i knoW araki was just wanting to get shit done and move onto his stand stuff, he introduced such a rich cast of characters who if given a bit more time i think could have made such a fucking wonderful and complex narrative... like to the point of the pillar man but to everyone else. Joseph got a strong character introduction only to just kinda get worse and stand still imo. i still like him but i think he could have done a lot more if the story was a bit more fleshed out. Him a caesar actually getting to develop some sort of actual relationship on screen that isnt the two of them fighting and sometimes caesar admires joseph's skills or whatever. JOSEPH AND LISA LISA TRAININGGG, i would have KILLEd to see joseph and lisa lisa do anYthing togeatherrrr... the subtle hints to be dropped of lisa lisa past and her connection to joseph..

idk what point im trying to make actually, im just thinking about how weirdly soft and kind we see the pillar men in moments at time and not just as pure evil being and it feels so weird to remember that were supposes to be rooting against them is all. i feel like we were should have had more insight into their group and lives and feelings and maybe even what they were up to while joseph trained. idk man idk, just kinda thinkin out loud

[narzissenkreuz-ordo]

i guess i need some. advice? encouragement? about some stuff thats been happening recently so suicide/violence cw under the cut

i won't go into detail but i had. a very huge emotional/physical/mental breakdown today. where i was just. basically screaming and howling about how suicidal ive been lately. I haven't said anything out loud/via text on the internet abt it because i know saying i want to kms so often is bad for my own well being and ultimately makes other uncomfortable as well

so yeah i've just been. holding all that in. i knew the thoughts were coming in and out the past few months but was just shrugging it off as just being stressed abt the nightmare year i had. but i really was just. lying to myself and others because i didnt want to worry anyone/didn't want to admit how horrible i was doing after a couple years of good progress. but as it stands things are heading into a really bad direction for me rn. its not normal to go to sleep suicidal and immediately be suicidal upon waking up.

I don't really know what i can really do harm reduction wise. i'm unable to have regular visits with a psychiatrist/therapist bc of availability issues + i tend to just. lie. because its easier to say im fine than it is to advocate for myself and get actual help. and even then medication will not save me and coping skills can only go so far if im so deep in it im unable to take care of myself/feed myself/clean myself/eat/etc so none of it is effective enough in the moment. i know it CAN be effective and some of the skills ive learned can help during situational issues but this is really deep rooted improperly treated mental illness and i need a stronger foundation to be able to use any of the skills

i use a means of self isolation to punish myself, because i'm so upset with myself for not being able to pick myself up on my own. people can say im not a burden over and over but theres always gonna be a catch in the end. i freak out because what if this is one of my last meltdowns before they decide enoughs enough and i just get abandoned. again.

I feel like maybe being so Online is making things worse?? but i don't know??? my concentration is completely gone even when trying to use dnd/closing discord completely and im just constantly refreshing social media every 10 seconds and just stew in the bad feelings.

I don't know if just. leaving the internet cold turkey for a bit would do more harm than good.....i dont want to be alone and caught up in my thoughts. but i have a hard time doing things in 'moderation' and don't know how to even begin to roll back my internet/screen time usage

fandom is fun and great. but i dont think i should be using video games as pure escapism or playing them 24/7. im already getting bored and unenthusiastic about the things i like because its ALL i do.... I want to have at least SOME time away from screens. i hate having the impulse the check social media or refresh even 30 seconds (im even doing it NOW) but i just dont know where to begin in cultivating non-screentime hobbies and have the ability to focus on things more long term without having than doing 1000 things all at once to keep myself busy. i play video games muted most of the time, have a yt video playing, sometimes i'll stop mid video game and pull out my ipad while still having the games open, and im always on discord

there's books i still want to read, i eventually want to pick up sewing again. im considering getting a craft set for making those beaded bracelets (my brother gets them from concerts all the time and thinks it would be fun to make them too) but that all requires money

and i just. idk where im going with this rn but. any advice or suggestions or just. words of encouragement would be. really nice rn

[lonelyheartspen]

vegan vampires, what blood or blood like things do they eat.

Animal blood, fake blood they use in theatre? I think you are an expert on vampires and blood. How would you go at an idea of a vegan vampire

probably animal blood or like. consenting human blood? maybe? vegan vampires are kinda tricky, drinking blood is kinda a vampires whole thing. like trying to get a carnivore to be vegan. blood made in a lab would also be a good option if its available in the world building. i guess it depends on the definition of a vegan vampire; if they dont want to drink human blood, then animal, if they dont want to hurt any creature, blood donors, if they dont want to consume any animal product, artificial blood.

ive seen people say that vampires can live off coconut milk as a substitute for blood and i just cant get with that. i think its gotta be blood. ofc it depends on the specific lore but in most vampire lore the blood is the life. when the vampire myth was kicking off blood was known to be lifeforce. at the root of vampirism is the blood drinking. even artificial blood might fail in that sense, if its about blood being life.

what i think would be more interesting than just a vampire who doesnt like the thought of blood so doesnt drink it, is a vampire who doesnt like the thought of blood, but still has to drink it. in some sense. having to wrestle with the conflicting feelings and seeing where that leads. a vampire who starves itself, a vampire who kills and feels guilty abt it, a vampire who tries to justify it, etc. from a narrative perspective thats more fun to me than a vampire who finds an alternative drinking fruit punch.

but again at the end of the day the vampire myth is very forgiving, vampires are a grab bag of traits that anyone can mess around with. if someone to make a vegan vampire they should

[anonymoushotsexyperson]

This post on twitter PISSED me off and I can't stop thinking about how no one cares about their friends anymore! SOOO here's a blog post about it.

LIKE ALWAYS THE BIG BOLD PURPLE TEXT ACTS AS STAMPS TO BREAK THE READING UP INTO SMALLER SECTIONS TO ACCOMMODATE THOSE WITH SMALLER ATTENTION SPANS WHO ARE MORE INTRIGUED IN ONE PIECE OVER THE ENTIRE POST! ^-^

Reading everything is encouraged though!

HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO CREATE THE LEVELS OF COMRADERY NEEDED TO OVER THROW THE GOVERNMENT IF YOU MOTHA FUCKAS CANT FIND THE SPACE TO TEXT YOUR FRIENDS BACK?? BESTIE BE SO FUCKING FORREAL!:

(THIS section is a little bit off topic from the rest but I can't HELP but mention it.) I think we should all start doing what the original poster did with our friends to be honest. We need to make space for our feelings and expectations in our friendship. Like learn how to fucking leave space for your community. I may have wrote about this before if not I will def be writing about it soon but the lack of community building and intimate friendship skills in gen z is so harmful in so many ways. Not only does it create this 'loneliness epidemic' ( if you're anything like me you've watched a million YouTube video essays on) but dude... DO YOU THINK ROSA PARKS JUST GOT ON THAT DAMN BUS HER DAMN SELF ON A RANDOM ASS DAY AND IT STARTED A REVOLUTION???? NO. They organized that! IT WAS AN ACTIVIST GROUP WHO DID IT AND PLANNED IT! How do you think black activism was able to prevail through the racist ass civil rights movement? COMMUNITY BUILDING AND GRASS ROOTS ORGANIZING AND GIRL LOOK AT THE STATE OF THE WORLD WE COULD USE THAT RIGHT NOW !

"SOMETIMES YOUR FRIEND IS DEPRESSED" IS AN EXPLANATION NOT EXCUSE (DONT SHARPEN ANY PITCHFORKS YET JUST LISTEN):

NOWWWW listen, I know we are all at our own pace with interpersonal relationships I get that, I can already hear the "Sometimes your friends can be depressed though so maybe YOU should consider that" crowd grabbing their pitchforks but, dude. Especially if you're an adult, you need to learn how to master these obstacles in certain situations. I know this sucks so bad and its unfair but your relationships are still half your responsibility hurting someone because you weren't mentally well still hurt them. I know this better than fucking anyone as someone who has borderline and had to come to terms with that myself. It's an annoying and unfair and hard truth but once you admit it to yourself you can become a better companion. We all have things going on but the people in your life deserve the respect of you at the least attempting to communicate on why you're not upholding the level of intimacy you have set for yourself with said person. Next section are two fairly easy skills to help manage your mental health but be a good friend. ALSO if you're doing the things in the next section with them and your friends still is an ass about it because they don't like the compromise you were able to give or whatever DO be mindful that the relationship is half their responsibility too. Friends should be able to leave space for their mentally ill friends (if they're being properly communicated to and their needs are also being taken into account) that can look like patience understanding and willingness to compromise or lending a helping hand or shoulder to cry on, meeting you where you're at. And if they can't do that after you extend that communication or compromise to them maybe you guys shouldn't be close friends who expect those things from one another or possibly not friends at all but thats up to you to choose!

A TIP FOR YOU DEPRESSED BITCHES :

( I use bitch and hoe as terms of endearment I love my depressed shawty baes)

You bad at communicating and you about to ghost all your friends? Well before you do or better yet when you're in a healthy state of mind tell them thats a problem you have and if its a friend you're really close to who might still need reassurance when you go ghost try to come up with some compromise like "I will still go ghost in the sense that I won't communicate but ill send memes I see to let you know your on my mind!" or "I will do a week/ monthly check in with you but thats all I have the energy for." (remember not to abuse these strategies though! throughout your journey of healthy confrontation you will learn how to discern between whether or not you are using them because you genuinely need them in that moment or if its because you are closing yourself away from the world a toxic amount and need to face your feelings around and with other people)

A TIP FOR YOU HOES OUT THERE WHO HAVE TROUBLE COMMUNICATING :

Muster up the strength to say or set up something like this maybe before you enter that state of mind while you're still in the good place! "hey I have a habit of doing ____ if i'm not in a good place. So when you text me I will text back this same funny meme or tiktok etc as a symbol to let you know i'm in I wanna die mode!" this is a way to communicate to your close friends that you're in a bad headspace at the moment and can't give much energy to the friendship without really having to say anything besides the first time you bring it up if you're uncomfortable all you have to do is send that meme or maybe emoji etc! (Make sure you aren't abusing this strategy to avoid working on your communication issues though because that can regress your communication abilities and friendships even further this is something you will learn and determine for yourself through trial and erorr)

Remember both of these sections are first steps but we also wanna work on being able to compromise SOMETIMES when we haven't left the bad place yet but I know many of you aren't ready for that. SO I won't scare y'all away.

OVERALL TAKE/ CLOSING STATEMENT:

Maybe you're someone who genuinely can't maintain close intimate friendships with sensitive people and maybe i'm wrong here and this might offend you but in most cases I believe thats not true. A lot of people are just scared of sensitivity and emotions. A lot of people are fed up with life and won't allow themselves to push passed their own imaginary limits to open up the can of worms that truly is making and maintaining intimate friendships.

The truth is a lot of us ARE sensitive, but we make ourselves smaller for all the people we love because "they have other stuff going on". I can't help but think if you agree with the qrt or had an 'its not that deep' reaction thats the qualities of being a bad friend (and its not your fault because within especially western individualist culture and patriarchal culture thats what we are taught to be but UNLEARN it).

Also I understand being traumatized by someone who was really sensitive and didn't know how to communicate and they became abusive, I also understand that having a sensitive friend again after that can be triggering. I'm so sorry that happened to you. BUT I hope you don't let your abuser take away this learning experience from you because healthy confrontation once learned is such a beautiful thing. ALSO healthy confrontation doesn't mean devoid of any emotion or things that make you uncomfortable don't expect people who are upset at you to shit sunshine and fart rainbows but its important to make sure you're NOT being verbally abused either. (I will make a post soon about healthy confrontation soon and what that looks like). Hey i'm not saying the original poster had the healthiest response either (im pretty sure the kms thing was meant to be a self deprecating joke not actual emotional manipulation keep that in mind) but it is a natural response to being hurt and more than likely the type of response you give after multiple offenses not just one thing. That is the behavior of someone who's felt ostracized for a while. I would not in any way shape or form consider it an abusive response though yeah it makes you uncomfortable, which circles me back around to the beginningof this. Stop making yourself smaller for the people you love, it's okay to make things uncomfortable by mentioning your feelings because they need to learn to be comfortable with talking about things.

If you continue to make yourself smaller for the people you love, one day you will look around you and you will see all the people you love, but you won't see the people who love you and... that? THAT is pain.

so reader, what do you think? Leave a comment even if you disagree! I genuinely wanna know.