#you would think the individuals on tumblr- of all places- would understand how frustrating it would be to be grouped in with the worst

[snekdood]

bitches be like. i hate vegans so much that i’ve decided i like killing animals and its fine and i dont feel bad and animals dont have feelings and its fine and im cool subversive and different and edgy and like to post fucked up stuff to make vegans uncomfortable bc im just so cool

[spanishskulduggery]

I don't understand why I struggle with this hard.

I want to be involved with the Spanish-speaking world online. I don't even know where to start. The best I've got right now is that sometimes I happen upon another Spanish-speaking individual on tumblr and I just follow them and read everything they post in Spanish.

But sometimes they use English primarily. So it kind of defeats the purpose and makes the Spanish posts harder to find.

Idk I think I'm going about this the wrong way but I genuinely don't know how else to do this. It feels to me as if the entire Spanish-speaking world uses some secret social media that no one else knows about. And I would say I'm on the outside looking in, but I can't even find them.

If this makes sense.

Thanks in advance i love you

No, it's that many Spanish-speakers use or learn English on social media because it tends to get the most interaction

Especially for artists or in fandoms, English tends to dominate a lot of them - which in a way makes some sense if the fandoms came from English-speaking media or Hollywood things, but I know what you mean it can be frustrating trying to find people to interact/practice with that way

You usually have to find Twitter or Spanish-speaking groups like sometimes on Facebook or Spanish-speaking Discords. This is if you want something more like conversations or posts. Spanish-speaking Instagram and Tiktok are easier to find if you start liking things in Spanish, the algorithm will start sending you things like that - but you become more of a commenter relation to the creator, rather than finding people to actually talk to; it's sort of like Youtube in that way

...

If you're looking for specifically Spanish-speaking things you would have the most luck on forums or Spanish Facebook pages, or finding a Spanish-speaker on Tumblr/Twitter and talking to them in Spanish or commenting in Spanish

Otherwise, I'd say maybe WordReference but that's more of a grammar/vocabulary-related thing - they do have people responding to questions or topics in Spanish and some Spanish forums there where Spanish speakers from all over talk

If you're more advanced, you can wade into the WordReference forums where Spanish-speakers will ask about English phrases or how best to translate certain idioms... I've found that to be the place for learning specifically

[eamour]

Its actually so comforting to know that you’re also an ex-muslim, I’ve never seen another one of us on loa tumblr so when I read your post about it I was just so happy that I can finally relate to someone. I remember when I was a Muslim when I first started doubting things was when my dad bought me a english translation of the Quran. When I read about the homophobic and misogynistic stuff written in there i was super frustrated but at the same time I didn’t want to leave Islam as Ive been indoctrinated since I was younger so I was trying to find proof online that Islam wasn’t actually misogynistic and homophobic. I’m glad I know longer believe in it though because it felt like I was mentally in a cage trying to convince myself that Islam didn’t hate women when it clearly did. I also really dislike it when Muslims act like their religion is feminist like its actually so frustrating, those people have probably never read the quran translated into a language they understand yet they claim that their religion is feminist and supports women. Also this might be a reach but I genuinely think a lot of the worlds problems stem from religion and a lot of the reason why so many old problems are still here is because of religion, I feel like if it wasn’t for religion a lot less people would be homophobic and sexist.

Im so sorry for ranting I just really wanted to say this somewhere as there isn’t really another place for me to say this.

first of all… this message made me so happy, genuinely happy… the way you can relate to me, i can — even if it’s just in a few aspects — relate to you as well.

i‘m shocked at how similar our experiences were. personally, i have never fully believed in religion and couldn’t make sense of it, especially when it came to the misogynistic and sexist parts…

i wanted to say this again if it wasn’t clear: on my blog, you can feel free to talk about such topics, no matter how "insensitive" they might come across! i don’t want to limit my blog to only talking about "how" to manifest, but also get to know the people in this community and the experiences they have made individually. 🥹💗

i can tell you, you are not the only one who has gone through this. i‘m sure many people (including me) can relate to you! ♡

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

i keep telling myself to quit checking up on KM spaces cause there’s literally nothing but bickering and going out of the way to find things to be mad at but I keep ending up coming back 😓 it’s so hard, I still think about them a lot and I generally enjoy doing so! They make me happy to think about, genuinely. it’s been a force of habit for so long but the vibe with no new content (I try and avoid military updates but they waft into my view every so often and I’m glad they seem to be doing ok at least) is just so nasty it’s just like can’t everyone just relax and be happy knowing they’re together??? Obviously I am the problem here and I need to stop but it’s a struggle….do I need to just go completely cold turkey on bangtan? 😂 is that what you did when you took a long break? It’s not like I don’t have hobbies and a job and stuff, but for a long time they’ve occupied a special nice place where I just think of them and generally enjoy reading people’s thoughts about them, but over the past year especially w the solo stuff it’s just gotten kinda rancid

Hello, anon

I understand you completely. If something has become part of your daily routine, on top of other activities and interests, it's normal to get the urge to check up on it. Cold turkey might not help because it increases the chances of going back to it. I'm going through the same thing nowadays. I'm aware that right now, there's barely any point in keeping up with that part of my interests online. KM have enlisted and despite seeing some military updates, I'm not excitedly/anxiously looking forward to it. Like you, I think it's nice to see that they appear fine, but personally I could live without those updates as well. Consequently, I barely discuss it even on my blog, I don't find it necessary.

Most likely, the upcoming show will be the only relevant content that makes me still keep an eye on them right now and that's because the announcement might drop at any time. By not knowing exactly when, it's enough to keep at least a part of the fandom waiting and participating online. Not a bad strategy, but a frustrating one for us.

Likewise, by still checking up tumblr/twitter, I'm also exposing myself to daily fights, endless debates on relationship dynamics and so on. I find it pointless and I'd say a sign of boredom if this wasn't the modus operandi of the fandom anyway.

I made a vague comment recently, but it is terribly annoying having to read left and right troll anons baiting bloggers who then are bringing receipts to demonstrate that KM are close. Really? We're still doing that in 2024? People are talking in circles to demonstrate something that doesn't need more proving. Twitter is worse because they fight like idiots under the guise of defending. The knights in shining armour fighting for the princesses.

As to solo stans, I don't have an issue with the idea of only liking an artist and that's it. If only that would be the full definition. Anyone acting like not only a fanatic, but writing like some miserable 4chan user is someone I really can't stand. It's slowly becoming standard stan behavior and I see this in other fandoms as well, including those of western artists. It's nasty and embarassing.

When I took a break, I unfollowed almost all KM and JM focused accounts. The ones remaining I muted so I had to go to my following list and check each individually if I wanted to see what was up. My point was to not have any of that on my timeline. I think it worked for a while. Now I'm back to how it was before and I don't know how that happened. I should make some changes again.

[llinstarr]

"Inhumane," what even. All that Jily shippers (and Bartylus shippers and other smaller shippers) ask is for je**lus shippers to stay out of their tags and tag their posts properly without spamming - which would be the right think to do and the correct and only way to use Tumblr in the first place, that's what tags are for. Everyone has a right to not want to see spam ships in their tag, that place is for their comfort, not for triggering content! And yet when you ask for such a given, normal thing as correct tagging, you're "inhumane" and several bloggers who spoke up about tags have been severely harassed to the point of having to turn off their asks. We need to get a grip. It's perfectly fine that others don't like your ship, it's not personal or doesn't make it an offense or mistreatment. It's also perfectly fine if people use anti tags to vent their hate towards a ship, that's what the tags are there for and that's why fans block anti tags and don't go there. What's not fine is spamming hundreds of unrelated tags on posts and harassing others and forcing your ships into other shippers tags and forcing them to see that all the time, when a lot of it is also triggering content for them. If people literally simply learned how to use tags and stayed in their corners there would be no conflict.

Hi love!, I'm right there with you. Being a Jily shipper myself, I've felt the frustration when one ship dominates the scene, making it difficult for others to have their space. I intentionally steered clear of specifics because this isn't about pointing fingers; both sides have their valid concerns.

Our choice of words is crucial. Things like “Je**lus” can come across as immature and hurtful, completely altering the tone of the conversation. While it's perfectly fine to express opposing views and critique other ships or individuals, it's essential to do so respectfully.

The conflict extends beyond just the use of tags (the tag thing is just a fact: don’t use ones that doesn’t related to your posts) ; it's about the lack of mutual respect in how people communicate, especially over something as seemingly trivial as shipping preferences. There's a myriad of issues within both sides of the fandom that warrant attention.

Btw I think anti tags are 100% ok, it’s again about the way you express it. You can say James is in love with Remus, that Sirius is a swiftie or that hitler is god ,honestly idc about any opinion as long people aren’t rude for no reason. I've just came across people saying downright awful things about shippers or fans who simply like particular characters/ship (ones that aren't controversial at all), and honestly, it's just completely unnecessary like “don’t follow/talk to me if you like x” like wth???

My sole focus is on promoting respectful and kind dialogue. Now, I'm not here to play the the "rainbows and unicorns police," nor can I dictate anyone's actions. However, fostering an environment of niceness and respect makes it much easier for us to empathize and understand each other.❤️

[verdantmeadows]

I don't know how to explain it well but as an intellectually disabled I kinda hate the intellectually disabled (especially autistic) community on Tumblr and online because they mostly use terms like high/low support, high/low functioning, and I mean I guess I'd rather they use the term support than functioning, but I personally find the terms offensive and also cruel to other autistics because it implies they don't need as much support or can function better when neither of those are really true things?

I've seen posts where people say "this is about high support autistics" or "low supporting autistics don't add onto this" which just....separates our community???? And you can't define autistic people by low or high support!!!! People don't fit in boxes! And a lot of people who think they're low support have only been low support because they've been traumatized into a position where they must care for themselves

I don't know, I just don't understand the terms at all and they make me angry on behalf of the autistics who get called low support and told to stay out of conversations about autism and such

I feel like it's just another way to divide the community and another way that people go "look, I have it worse than you!"

Oh and also a lot of them use concepts like levels of autism and severity of autism and belittle autistic people who are on lower levels or have less severe autism which is so offensive??? Like, so many posts from autistic ppl within the ID community are just complaining about low level or not severe autism which is just....so cruel, we're one in the same

I don't think level of support is inherently bad to be clear, it's nuanced, and it can be useful to say, I need a lot of support every day, or, I can get by with minimal support. But it's frustrating when people use it to say, I have it worse than you, or, we struggle with the same problem but I have it worse, or asking if you're high or low support when those can't easily be defined. And also, most people would benefit from more support, but they don't have the choice of having that. High functioning and low functioning don't make sense because autism is a spectrum that isn't a binary that goes from low to high. Support also doesn't make sense because support isn't a binary that goes from low to high. Functioning and support are much more highly individualized and highly situational and often come from places of trauma or learning to cope without things you need I guess

I've been completely unable to find fellow intellectually disabled people who don't belittle or act above people they view as high functioning and low support. That's my frustration here more than anything. And also the fact people try to ask me what my level of support is when I don't know how to answer and shouldn't have to

[singwhenyoucantspeak]

...

watching the whole "debate" about the term "culturally Christian" and while i think debating with the detractors is pointless because theyve demonstrated that they are incapable of adjusting their world view, i am so glad to finally see it specifically pointed out that their view and conception of religion in general is extremely protestant, and the reason they cant have this conversation with good faith is precisely because they cannot let go of that protestant conception and way of thinking. it is insane to see how they understand religion when they have to really double down on it, but it makes a lot of sense. protestantism, especially the culty evangelical type, is built upon the idea that the individual church you are with is 100% pure and correct and if its not you can always find one that is and change churches. the practice of that type of religion is based 100% on theistic belief and 0% on culture and cultural practice. it is no wonder they cant understand a discussion about cultural hegemony when they dont actually view religion as culture at all, but only personal theistic belief. anyway it has taken all my willpower not to get involved in this debate but it is so wild and frustrating. idk how the jumblr people i follow are dealing with it. tbh i would just block all those people and say good riddance. but i also want to point out these are likely the exact same ex-evangelicals that come into progressive communities and movements and start just spouting off evangelical talking points dressed up in progressive language because even if they disavow the personal theistic beliefs and abandoned the community of their former church, they still have clearly not recognized how their religious upbringing has shaped their world view in a much broader way and a way which can be decoupled from theistic belief. they assume if they abandon the theistic belief they have abandoned the values/worldview that went with it, but that is often not actually true and its so strange to see them get so offended when this is pointed out to them. i do think it is dangerous to allow them to be leading voices in progressive spaces, but i also dont know that arguing with them on tumblr over how this phenomena is referred to is a good use of time because they are not in a place to actually listen. anyway im not really interested in discussing this more i just needed to get this off my chest after days of watching this disk horse unfold (again). its so tiring.

[thescrapbookingscientist]

Bimonthly Media Roundup

-One Piece Film Red (Movie) - The first of the One Piece movies we've decided to watch despite being the newest, largely because of a reference in the story proper implying it's canon. I've heard this is one of the better movies which is not a great sign even if I did mostly enjoy it. On the good side Uta is an interesting character with a great design and voice, and despite her "self-insert OC" backstory I do actually like her relationship with Luffy and the Shanks pirates, it's cute. I like musicals and while I do feel most of the songs could have been presented better they all sounded pretty good with a few standouts going straight to my spotify. The plot of the movie wasn't at all what I was expecting, though it was pretty interesting, like. damn Uta. On the bad side the story did have middle-drag as it was longer than it needed to be, and featured several batshit decisions from Shanks and Uta's adoptive father figure. I understand that they wanted to reach a certain conclusion (one that I didn't particularly like), but the actions they took to get their were so dumb and mean that I was too busy being frustrated at the writing to be invested in the latter half of the story. I'm still glad I watched it and would maybe watch some of the musical scenes out of context again but I would really only recommend it to hardcore One Piece fans and do so with an asterisk.

-Firewatch (Video Game) - A friend recommended a play through of this to me, and while it wasn't quite what I was expecting it was pretty interesting. The visuals were gorgeous, the dialogue was naturalistic, it had a pretty intriguing mystery and the ending did a good job of cementing the themes of the dangers of too much isolation and escapism, which I can respect. That being said I can't say it's overly memorable: visuals aside it's just too short and only has 1 character with a notable personality, who I wouldn't call particular memorable either. I'd say the experience is like reading a good short story - there's a message there that's well presented and I agree with but there's only enough material for a single 2 page essay rather than a full analysis/fandom experience. Which is fine not everything should be that, It's done well for what it is.

- Fallout (TV) - First season completed and I have to say it was pretty darn good - Video game adaptations have been killing it lately. The 3 leads all did a great job at introducing us to the various factions and perspectives of this world while individually and collectively exploring the mystery of how the world got this messed up. I understand why The Ghoul is so tumblr famous given he's a morally grey monster with a sympathetic backstory, though my personal favorite was Lucy and her determination to not let the cruelty of the world make her cruel in kind, though given the ending she might have a relapse in the second season. I can't say the story was entirely unpredictable though there were a lot of fun twists and turns, the ultimate conclusion we are leading towards is certainly a depressingly realistic one when you push the capitalist mindset to the extreme. It's also funnier than I expected which was a nice bonus. The dried out apocalypse atheistic with an ultra violent world isn't really my usual cup of tea but I don't have a lot of negative things to say about this, it was a solidly enjoyable watch that I would recommend to anyone who can stomach a bit of light gore.

- Land of the Lustrous (Manga) - Wow so it finally ended huh? I'm not really sure I have the right qualifications or mindset to dive into the series as a whole right now but it certainly is one of the most unique stories I've ever read with a truly "suffered more than god" transformation story for its protagonist. The Buddhist philosophies along with the story taking place over hundreds of thousands of years adds a lot to the uniqueness of the story, at least reading as a western fan, and has certainly made me think about ship of Thesus and purpose of creation questions far more than I have otherwise, which I commend it for though it certainly prevents me from recommending it as a light read. It's too bad it likely won't get more than the first season animated anytime soon as it would be a great one to watch people react to with all the insane twists and turns it takes. Anyway I love you Phos, thanks for the story and may you rest.

- Dungeon Meshi (Anime) - Shapeshifter and Nightmare episodes both very good. The shapeshifter taking its appearance based on others perception of you is a very cool concept which is a good puzzle to work out the real one and Marcille's nightmare focusing on her fear of outliving all her loved ones is really heartbreaking and well visualized, Good job all around.

- Six of Crows (Book) - Not much to say at this point, I like the concept as "heist team consisting of oddballs with highly specialized skills" is a great setup. I'm enjoying it well enough as a slower listen, though I do feel I would be more into it had I read it when I was younger as opposed to now.

- Pokemon Infinite Fusion (Video Game) - Really great fangame, had a lot of fun both playing this and looking up the various fusion designs on the website. Will probably post my two teams eventually. Huge props to everyone who contributed, both the sprite artists (for fusions and regular pokemon) and the writing (lots of clever little jokes or quests). Truly a testament to fandom creativity.

- One Piece (Anime) - Shockingly we have finally caught up, at least anime wise and wow what a journey it was. I'll still be obsessed with this for a good while so I'm sure I'll have more opportunities to talk about the series as a whole as I jump into the manga, but for now in short there's certainly many issues with sexism and stakes but despite that it really is an incredible story with loads of great characters, worldbuilding, relationships, comedy, and mystery, I definitely understand why it's one of the biggest media in the world. For the more recent stuff I'll say that I overall liked Wano though the raid really did drag, I'm quite disappointed that Yamato didn't join the crew as I really liked him, big trans win with the bath scene, and I adore everything about Gear 5 and have re watched those scenes many times now. The way it's animated and it's theme are great, but mostly I just love that Luffy's peak is him being a funny little silly guy who makes people laugh, it's very him and is a great final form as the representation of joy. Egghead has also been fun so far, I love the new OP and style change and the island is pretty fun, I also like Bonney though considering her real age they need to stop focusing the camera the way they do. This is long enough so I'll stop here but I hope to make some One Piece tierlists and memes here soon.

- Genshin Impact (Video Game) - Not a fan of the rhythm style games in the current event but always happy to see Itto and Miko show up.

Listening To: Nonsense Speaker by 000, Tounges & Teeth and Metaphor by The Crane Wives, HateKiller by WON, Dream Girl Evil by Florence + The Machine, Imu's Theme from One Piece OST, White Wedding by Billy Idol, GUY.exe by Superfruit, Promiseland by MIKA, All the Boys by Panic! At The Disco, Achilles Come Down cover by Annapantsu, Fences by Paramore, Dial Drunk by Noah Kahan

[soulrph]

I'm so happy to have your blog on my dash it has shown me that I'm not the only one struggling in the rpc. I feel like the rpc has fallen into a coma, people are so wrapped up in their own bubbles that they don't interact with each other anymore (it seems) like I'm so frustrated with tumblr at this point, I'm so sorry I just don't know what to do, it's really disheartening to have like 1k followers, writing an rp blog but no matter what you do, no one sends anything at all, no asks, no memes, no starters, nothing, it makes me sad and wonder if I have done something wrong? I checked the settings twice as to make sure asks are enabled and I try to regularly send the people on my dash things but now I'm questioning myself. Like why and how are so many people following me if it feels like they don't want to interact? Of course I know many of these are lurkers but not all? I'm so confused by this to be honest...

My Question is: Am I the only one who feels like that?

my lovely friend, let me tell you something. these feelings you’re having? we ALL have them at some point in our tumblr lives. it’s perfectly natural, there’s nothing wrong with them, much less with you for having them in the first place. you understand? i want to make that much clear before i continue, because i’m getting the impression that you might be trying to take on the blame and responsibility for other people’s actions, and that’s not close to being accurate, love, okay? you’re doing just fine! and now i’m going to go into a little detail on your message. but i don’t want you to read on unless you’re feeling solid and good about yourself again, because try as we might, we’re not responsible for other people. and you mentioned that you’re very active in your efforts to make people feel comfortable, so no. don’t go blaming yourself. you’re doing nothing wrong, my love, i promise.

NOW! i say as i slap my hands on my knees like a suburban dad in an american film! except not, bc my laptop’s there, but i digress. before i continue, i want to say that i’m only one person, my suggestions may not be applicable to you. if anyone reads this post, and would like to contribute their own suggestions, you’re all welcome to hop into the comments to help our lovely friend out! this is a sideblog, however, and i will not be able to interact with these comments directly!

the first thing that i’m going to say here is that 1,000 followers is a LOT of people. like that’s overwhelming to anyone, but i feel like it could also contribute to these feelings of isolation when you have a thousand people following you and nobody’s really reaching out. that’s why i would suggest that maybe you might feel better if you try and bring that number down? it’s like this; if you host a big party, realistically speaking, you won’t be able to invite a thousand guests. it’ll be next to impossible to have these intimate personal connections with one thousand individual people, right? but if we try, say, 500 people? instantly easier to handle, i think. personally i try to keep my own limit at 150 mutuals, because i’m oftentimes too tired and too stressed to handle the idea of much more than that, and it’s much fairer to 150 people than it is for 1000 people.  plus, those 150 people are far more likely to have solid friendships with me. i’m only one person, and so are you, and we can’t be pressuring ourselves into trying to interact with 1000 people!

in your case, this also applies. 1000 people is a LOT. if you bring the number down, perhaps then you can explain to people that you will be implementing a few changes in the way you do things. you want to plot with people. you want to develop solid relationships both OOC and IC. you also might find it useful to use an interest tracker or a permanent starter and plotting call, or a few open starters are also useful! 

i’m going to repeat something here. you are not responsible for other people’s actions. there are parts of the rpc that are withdrawing from the core purpose and values of the community, and the lack of interaction is a widespread challenge. it’s not their fault. it’s just something that’s happening. that being said, you can only control YOUR experience. which sounds powerless, but it’s actually entirely the opposite!

you can make that post and say what you expect to change in your blog. “i’ll be much more active in the rpc from now on, i’m here to make friends and write with like-minded people, and i’m going to be cleaning out my followers over the coming week. if you want to stay mutuals, please let me know, but i don’t want to stay mutuals unless we intend on building a solid friendship and writing together!”

you can obviously change the wording! be as nice or as blunt as you like! but try to be firm. your experiences of the dash are yours and yours alone. my suggestions might be worth nothing to you, and that’s more than okay too! but my earlier experience in the community was very much like yours in that i had about 500 mutuals, but it was so quiet and awkward that i may as well have had 0. it only changed when i brought the number down to 150, keeping my mutuals as people who i wanted to write with and befriend, and then posted a quick psa to let people know that i was planning on actually writing much more in the future, and i would be changing certain things in my blog to accommodate that.

you don’t have to do any of this, my love. you don’t have to soft block any followers, you don’t have to make a psa, you don’t have to do anything! my decisions came from a place when i was so frustrated by being stuck in the “nothingness”, or the “meh, idk, i don’t mind, idc” phase of the community, that i just decided to shift gears and change things. the way i see it, i could have 20,000 mute, withdrawn mutuals, but just one person who i genuinely loved to chat to and plot with and write with would outshine the lot of them! fortunately i found much more than just one person, though. and i know, i KNOW, you will too.

[queernuck]

The Cleveland Browns made the playoffs. The Islanders made the Eastern Conference Finals.

And that’s enough for me.

So long, so long I have been living like this, pretending that I want to keep on living, that life feels worthwhile, that I don’t want to kill myself. Suicide is for cowards but ive been chickening out for a whole decade, to the point where getting on the subway was itself something that involved convincing myself not to jump in front of it. I remember once while working in the city, I watched and waited as two trains came in and left, trying to get the energy to jump in front of them. I had decided, if I couldn’t do it by the time a second train came and went, I would go to work and save it for another day. I came very close, my legs tense like a linebacker on 4th & Goal, but I didn’t do it. Maybe it would be better if I had, I would have saved not only myself but a lot of other people a lot of pain and suffering. I’ve been dealing with feeling suicidal for a decade, an entire ten years, and made it through. And for what? I lost a retail job at minimum wage, I’ve seen the Giants go from two-time Super Bowl kingslayers to a team that relied on the Eagles for a playoff berth, I got to see Evangelion only for the final Rebuild film to be infinitely delayed, I have a useless non-degree that allows me to eloquently describe how the Democrats and Republicans alike are driving this stolen land to Fascism while sycophants tell me Vote Blue No Matter Who. I’m so tired, I’m not even the person people think me to be, since if I were, I wouldn’t be in this mess.

My paychecks, as hard-earned as they were, never seemed to be mine in any real sense, and it made me so frustrated that something in me broke at the beginning of this year. I made some mistakes, some very stupid ones, and got myself fired. I took money from and distorted the inventory of my store to get what amounted to pocket money, less than two paychecks. I was tempted because I feel so powerless, so much like nothing I could ever say or do matters, and so I decided to lash out against a place that mattered to me, against people I cared about deeply. Chain stores, corporations, all of those things are not really high on my list of things to care about. Barnes & Noble pushed out local booksellers years ago, an irony not lost on me whenever our own competition with Amazon was made apparent. We were reaping what we had sown. But what always interested on top of this irony was how symbolic these things could be to people, how much we figured into so may memories for so many. The Manga Aisle at Barnes & Noble is a staple of 2006 scene culture, a way that kids without the pocket money to afford the newest volume of Bleach it Naruto could keep up before scams became widely available. How the store was a place where people studying for standardized tests could use the test prep guides to try and get ready for the eugenic ritual of the standardized test. And just how much a chain bookstore became a substitute, socially, for the now-absent local bookstore. We bear the guilt for that, but at the same time we were still selling books, giving people a place to get coffee and sit and read and talk, in ways that libraries may not be able to. We certainly can never replace a library, given just what a library does for people. But we did do a lot of good all the same. Before it closed, some of my fondest memories came when I was the exact sort of annoying teenage customer I grew to hate, hanging out at the Columbus Circle Borders. Working at Barnes & Noble was tiring, dehumanizing, difficult, made me feel like I would never measure up to the authors we sold, the people books were written about, that I was a failure. And I am, as my death shows. But it also made me a part of something I was proud of. And that Above & Beyond pin I earned is in my jacket still, a reminder of something.

That something was shown in so many of the coworkers I had, who were incredible in so many ways. I feel awful for what I did, I genuinely do, because of how it may have hurt people who thought so kindly of me, people who deserve so much good. I wish I had the ability to address each of them individually but this decision was hastily made, and i have a feeling it will show in the things I miss in this note. Audra, your help in finding me a way to use the company policies to my advantage as a worker was something that gave me faith even after having seen the despicable firings and cuts the company went through. Linda, I can’t quite square the circle here given my actions, but I want to say your disappointment broke my heart and that while I will not be the one who shows it, your reassurance that everyone makes mistakes was welcome.

To my (former) fellow booksellers at Store 2216, all of my love and my sincerest apologies. You all have so much good in you, your willingness to listen to my ADHD-fueled rants and to discuss so many things with an incredible frankness was always impressive, in addition to part of what I loved about all of you. I want you all to be happy, and the kinship I felt with you was a vital part of what kept me going. It was tough, as you all know. But at times, it almost felt worth it.

The same is true of my CTY friends: it was a weird, magical place that frankly, a lot of us idealized for far too long and which sk many of us eventually outgrew without being able to let go of. And that was tough, that was something we had a great deal of difficulty understanding, that what helped us once was not always going to be helping us, was not always what we needed. But in eventually finding that, we found solace, we realized how life as a whole functions and just what it is that we can take from places like it.

To my other family, my Cleo family, I know I haven’t been terribly active lately, but I can never, ever thank you enough for the belonging you gave me. I have never felt anywhere as welcoming as Cleo. As warm as Cleo (even as we struggled to pay for the oil bill) was. As kind and understanding. As tolerant. As questioning and inquisitive into what that tolerance meant to us. I am thankful, eternally, for what you all did for me. The incredible experiences I had as a Cleo make me proud of what the organization can represent, and one of my dying wishes is that the organization continues to reach out to marginalized communities on Trinity’s campus. There is much work to be done in making sure abusers cannot hide in our family, but I trust you all to do that work. Tucker Carlson is a Trinity grad and we must embody the opposite of what he stands for, no matter how difficult it may be. I could go on about how this means opposing liberals and Liberalism/Neo—Liberalism due to the truth of tolerance resulting in a Popper-esque Paradox of Tolerance that implies Popper is a worthwhile philosopher, but that’s another issue.

To my friends on that Blue Hellsite, tumblr, you made a continual presence worth it, even with all of the bullshit this place brings. It’s the reason I read so much Foucault, Derrida, Deleuze & Guattari, read Žižek against himself, and so on and so on, and the value of that to me can never be overstated. I learned so much from the ways in which I learned to analyze the world, and that in turn became a huge inspiration for why I should try to do what I could to make the world closer to a place of revolution, one where we could perhaps eke out a living for one another. I loved how much I could be an unrepentant nerd and still love hockey on there, and while the

NHL fans on tumblr are incredibly annoying,

I can deal with that compared to the racism of most hockey fans.

Mom, Dad? I just couldn’t live with you any longer. I’m so sorry.

Grandma, I love you.

And the things I leave behind? Donate what can be donated. Hats, please auction, or at least offer to other HatHeads at a reasonable price. I had some nice ones. As for assorted albums, clothing, and other things, sell them and donate to a Harm Reduction organization, or organizations that advocate for PWUD in a radical fashion. WE DESERVE AUTONOMY!

I am a victim of the War on Drugs. Sobriety was always hellish to me, and I could never take it. I want people to be able to live how they want, to see sobriety and being on drugs as equally valuable states, to see the two as no different from one another.

Abolish all gun laws

End the War on Terror

Decriminalize and legalize all drugs, sobriety is what killed me.

I love all of you.

LET’S GO ISLANDERS!

[remsmoonlight]

— title : i need you

— word count : 2.1k words

— pairing : ryuji goda x reader

— summary : convincing ryuji of doing the opposite of what he’s set out to do is a pointless task, yet you will attempt if it gives him even one more day.

— warnings : blood, mentions of violence, some swearing, mentions of imagining of death, angst

notes : inspired by a prompt from here .. i had to do a self indulgent thingy for tumblr .. because why did they have to kill him off like that .. i tried to be dramatic as i possibly could

" none of this would've happened if you had just listened! "

A muffled silence drowns your hearing, the spinning of the Earth decelerates until it feels little more than a crawl with a weak grip. Rough cement scrapes the smoothness of your knee, leaving an angry blemish as grit fights to find its way into your bleeding wounds. No graze can pull you out of the deep end your heart finds itself fighting to stay above of, as you witness your worst fear painted perfectly on a canvas steeped in blood. The stillness of the air leaves you feeling flustered as your mind tries to make sense of what it observes before it, hoping that it’s no more than a deceptive trick played on itself by the fear you felt as you made your way up the tall structure.

A romantic thread of words have never failed in supply, but words left unsaid threaten to crush you under their weight, lost moments to time. A shudder of a breath shakily is let out, the cold air kick starts your body as you push yourself up and scramble to where the battered and bloodied body of Ryuji lays, almost motionless in pain. A childish cry to wake up from this nightmare is all you can think of, but reality does not bend to the whims of humanity, it continues with the path it has set. Resentfully, you can see the similarity that it shares with the male.

“ none of this would've happened if you had just listened! “ A broken cry full of fiery misery lick at the delicate snowflakes that descend from the heavens with a short lived grace, full of threats to burn as they penetrate your space.

The shock of the vibrancy of the liquid that escapes Ryuji leaves time standing still, you care not however, your fingertips gripping a heavy shoulder as the other lends a gentle touch to his cheek. Pain and grief masks itself as anger. You sorely wish to blame someone or something, but you had warned him.. You’d tried to reason with him that this course he’d set would leave him chasing an unattainable taste of sweetness of satisfaction that would dull with each day that dawns. A strong will that had left you in an addictive awe leaves you with a decaying taste in your mouth now, it creates an impossible amount of scars on your soul.

“ ‘Guess I should’a listened to ‘ya after all. “ He reluctantly answers, the humour unable to battle the drain out of his voice completely.

“ Why couldn’t you have just let this lie? “ A ticking pulls your attention away for a fraction of a passing second, a groan causes you to turn back.

“ Was always gonna end this way. “

A weakened grip that belongs to Ryuji ignores the resistance from his body, enduring the pain from the movement in order to experience skin against skin contact for himself once more. He wishes he could have found it within himself to have turned left, but he’d have lost himself without this self imposed purpose, fading into the background. It was selfish, to bring you into his world.. But to him? You’re an unfinished book, your words inked with glittering star dust that etch themselves into existence. He was unable to tear him away from your pages that you may have worn like wings. Selfish. To know how his story would end, yet knowing he would not be around for yours.

“ No. “ Your lips close, pushing against each other to numb the other, your features twisting into an aching grimace.

“ Can’t stop it now. “ he insists, brows drawing together as he scrunches his eyes up from the agony that throbs through every inch of flesh. “ Shit’s set in stone now. “

“ Stop it! “ You sob, hating how vulnerable you sound.

There is a sorrowful beauty in the scene, notes Ryuji. Pale beams of moonlight triumphant until the point of reaching your body that blocks it. Leaving no more than a radiant glow surrounding your head, providing an inhuman glow that illuminates your body as much as your soul — a wistful image that he’s glad to witness once more. Your being here is something of a majestic collision into a door to his person he’d fought to keep locked, if this is a departing gift he would gladly take it. He’d thought the last time he saw you would be when he unwillingly shared his plan, should this ending occur, he could take comfort in there not being a picture of you waiting at the door waiting for the other half of you to walk through the door, only to be met with a crushing realisation of never seeing him again. Only, he’d not expected you to follow in his tracks, not after he’s ignored your pleas of turning away from this path.

“ Ya better get outta here, ‘place is gonna blow soon. “

“ Not without you. “ you argue, refusing his direction — your grip strengthens ever so slightly, fearing the winter breeze has the power to boldly grow and tear you away from the man.

“ Ya got’a whole life ahead of ya. “ A twist of his heart is the dominant sensation he notices at the thought.

He wishes he could be there for it, to see the petals of your success bloom in the depths of your determination. One thing he could never understand was how, despite the tainted reputation that follows him like a shadow, never had been enough to put you off. Not a criminal tie to your name and you voluntarily merged your time and energy with his, with little care. Perhaps that’s where an addiction to his selfishness began. All his life and his Yakuza connections secluded him from genuine human connections and you’d trampled all over that with your impartial view. Many would prefer to cower in their fear, you’d scratched past the surface to see who he could be capable of being.

All the time spent together, and yet he still craves more. To linger in your orbit, time is his nemesis — for he still feels as if there has not been enough. Not the hours spent with the sun setting and you’re there by his side, when he’d spent more time committing the wonder at such a simple thing to his memory. Not the darkened hours spent together surrounded by silken sheets, and all that graced his ears was a musical symphony of breathy moans as you set about learning each other’s bodies. Never were the hours spent talking in order to hear the passion in your voice when speaking about something that interests you enough for him.

“ You can’t do this. “ You whimper softly, almost looking through the man you hold close. “ You can’t come into someone’s life, you can’t make them care about you and leave just because you want to. What did you think was going to happen? That I was going to sit by and let you do this? “

He says nothing, leaving space for a groan of pain to leave his lips as he tips his head back. He’s met with a darkened blanket where millions of stars are scattered so ungracefully, yet do not collide an uncoordinated dance across the sky. Uncertainty overwhelms him, over that is causing more pain — the wounds or the grief in your every word.

“ Just get the fuck outta here already. “ His voice echoes across the large space as he turns his attention back to you.

“ Were you lying all that time? “ You ask with a trembling lip at the thought of being without.

It feels like an endless amount of early mornings had been spent planning and chattering about the most random things. Your mind lighting up with the power of a thousand suns before the world had awoken around you. You can’t pinpoint the moment it happened, but the two of you awoke a little earlier than necessary to bathe in the image of the other — to forge a most perfect illusion of normalcy before stepping out into the real world. Mornings were not your most happiest bedfellow, yet you’d grown to love them just a little more when waking to the most simplest treat to sweeten your tongue.

“ What ya on about? “

“ All that time when we were talking, about what we were going to do? What we could do? ”

“ Why ya going on about that ? “ He asks curiously, eyeing you as you speak.

“ If you die, how are we meant to do any of it? “ Your words are rushed as you question him plainly.

“ Yer gonna .. just won’t be with me. “ Colour from the world feels as if it’s fading, merging into one bland monochrome depiction of a bright, bubbling city.

“ Can you stop?! “ A frustrated shriek tears from the bottom of your throat in response. “ I’m done talking in circles, I’m not dying here and neither are you. If I have to, I will drag you out with me. “

The world pauses in shock for a quiet fraction of a minute. To be spoken to in such a manner is not something Ryuji has experienced much in his life, even rarer by you — words that fell from your lips are always bathed in the sweetness of sugar, not an ounce of poison to anyone. Even the individuals who drew your temper out of its sleep were met with an incredible amount of restraint, he can hear the desperation — acting as a bucket of ice water to shock his nerve endings from the low temperature.

“ You did what you had to do. It wasn’t meant to be, but you can find another purpose. Build something else with your life, just.. Just come with me. Please. “

To be responsible for dragging you down with him, away from providing the world with your bright rays of sunshine in the bland day to day lives of everyone you came into contact with weighs heavily on his chest. Extra time spent with you, perhaps getting to know who his little sister has become are the treats tied onto a stick in front of him, life’s cruel bribe. He’d imagined how his ending would have been sketched by above, yet to have ties keeping him there had not been what he would have included. If he couldn’t be the one dragon, this would be a consolation prize that would allow for the petals of peace to bloom before he’d tear them down once more.

A strength he’d thought abandoned him glows with a dull hue, for a minute, he contemplates using that for Kiryu. Yet the other half of his soul wins the battle, a hand of his reaches out to push himself off from the concrete. It’s not an easy feat after being battered more than once, yet it’s not half as arduous as it could be with you supporting his weight — he’s fully aware how much of your strength he is using from your audible gasps of air.

“ Ya don’t gotta yell at me. “ he complains softly as he grips his side with as much force as he can dedicate to.

“ I don’t think it’s the time for this. “ You argue back quickly.

“ The red one. “

“ Huh? “ The sound escapes you as your features turn into a frown over how to get away from the ticking time bomb fast enough.

“ The lift, to get down. Press th’red one. “ He instructs you with a finger barely lifted, pointing in the direction of the button behind you.

You say nothing in response, the wheels in your mind working faster than your body as it moves purely on an instinctive reaction when receiving messages from your brain. Your stomach twists and turns from the descent to below, unable to process the way the city shifts into a state of obscurity from the swift movement. It would be a beautiful sight if it hadn’t attached a violent night as a parting gift.

“ You really scared me up there. “ You confess with barely a whisper. “ Can you promise me something? “

“ What’s that? “

“ That you won’t do something like this again. “ You say, with your heart hoping that he’d shy away from an impossible task should it present itself. Your eyes had seen enough hurt for one night, you’re confident you’d not be able to withstand it once more.

“ Wish I could. “

Teeth grind against the bottom of your lip, you should have known that he wouldn’t. Yet you also cannot find the strength to tear yourself away from the fire that burns within him, like a moth to a flame, you find yourself wondering how close you can stand against the heat before you flee from the pain it brings.

[sk-lumen]

Hello dear enchantress Lumen,

I hope you are well and safe♥️ I just came here to seek for some advice from you and ladies out there if possible. I often get men complimenting me on my eyes and lips, more so my lips (I know damn well what they’re thinking about while they’re at it lol) but it’s become frustrating and to a point where I am objectified because of my looks.

I feel like I am a shell with a pearl inside- weird comparison I know but men just rather focus on what’s on the outside paying little attention to what may be inside. I like talking about mind stimulating stuff and the conversations get dragged to sexual stuff. While I am playful being sexually objectified is really a buzz killer 😞They start asking for naughty pictures and such. Every conversation I make online or in person with men has to always start with me addressing the fact that I do not send nude photos or videos.

I do understand that men naturally have a big appetite for sexual things. My question is dear Lumen; How do I deal with men like that? To have them to see more than and past my looks, but the beauty within? And also how can I keep the sexual thing playful yet not super nudity type? (Like for eg can I pose half nude or wear things to still keep his i terest but playful enough to leave the rest of my body to his imagination, hopefully enabling him to see me for my soul as well) Please tell me tips you would think be best in how to keep men going sexually but not getting things over done, how to handle situations like this, etc)

Your advice and tips are highly valued and appreciated by me. Thankyou in advance. ♥️♥️

Hi darling,

Note: you pose some very good questions which is why I thought it's important to share it with others. I will mention that advice requests, which are slightly more explicit in nature, should be redirected to my personal inbox where I can reply in-depth: either in private, or share on the blog to help others as well. I'm happy to help, however such topics are not the main focus of my tumblr blog, which I would like to keep as a more light and safe space, welcoming to all regardless of goals or sensibilities. I'm open to everyone else's thoughts on this suggestion.

After reading your story, let me address each topic one by one:

You may be looking for gentlemen in the wrong circles. There is a repeating pattern here, and it is either from navigating the same circles, or attracting the same type of guys, or simply being surrounded by the same type in your local area. For this, I would advise to experiment and try new places more associated with higher value men (theatre, art exhibitions, museums, upscale restaurants, etc).

This whole trend with provocative photos is simply a result of the p*rn culture combined with consumerism, which has normalized the access to/objectification of female bodies as a product so to speak. Yes, it is unquestionable that the female body is a work of art - but unfortunately today's society does not yet understand this. Ignore the trend of n*des. Do not for a second succumb to it unless you are in a 100% committed relationship, completely trust your partner, and feel very much safe to do so — and even then, thoroughly considered. Is it worth risking things like having those photos leaked, your privacy and trust broken, just for a nondescript guy’s validation? The smart answer is simple: never.

Generally speaking, women have an equally big appetite. It’s simply about how both genders (or any gender) are socialized in expressing it. LVM learn that they can express it any way they wish, HVM act as gentlemen, as they should; whereas women oscillate between the double-edged blade of being too little or too much, either way facing risking judgement over it.

How to deal with low value men (because no man of class would ask for licentious photos, and I stand by that statement)? Block, delete, move on. If you are determined to embark on a journey of leveling up, you cannot waste time with such behaviour, dear ladies. There’s zero benefit, zero return of investment from engaging with men that have not yet reached the baseline of respecting you as an individual. There's no two ways about this, and there’s nothing to negotiate there.

You can’t make a man see, do or say anything. He either sees your value or he doesn’t. If you have to bring arguments to the table, the game is already rigged and you have lost, because the moment you question your worth is when they have already won. The only thing you should do then is find another table.

"Can I (…) to keep his interest" - Please don’t entertain this line of thought darling, it serves no one but LVM. You don’t have to do anything to keep someone’s interest, except be yourself. If you have to go above and beyond, bend over backwards, be someone you’re not, or step out of your comfort zone/boundaries at any point, it’s time to walk away. Besides, a man's interest is not a warranty for commitment or love.

Don’t rely on the mindset of luring in a guy with desire, to capture his heart. It should be the other way around, or simultaneous. But if he desires solely your body before even considering your mind, heart or soul… his priorities are clear, and they’re not likely to change.

My universal strategy for dating/relationships, which is in the best interest of your sacred feminine energy, the safeguarding of your heart, and the wise use of your time, is this:

Have clear standards, know what kind of man you’re interested in, take your time dating accordingly. When you find a good one, let him court you until he’s proven himself as a worthwhile companion that you can trust with all of you. Once commitment is made clear (and I mean clear, open commitment stated out loud, no juvenile "what are we" allusions), wait at least 3-6 months to further strengthen the relationship’s foundation of intimacy, and only then open completely.

It may sound complicated or long-winded, but it is a smart strategy for countless reasons: only a HVM will be patient, consistent and dedicated enough to stay for the long run all throughout. LVM will either bail, protest, test your boundaries, or other red flags which will reveal themselves on their own and spare you the trouble.

Hope this helps. Take care. ❤️

-Lumen

[chaoticevilbean]

Voltron Humans Are Weird 1/?

"C'mon Keith! Just follow the instructions! When I say Vol, you say Tron! VOL-"

"Voltron?" Lance facepalmed for what felt like the millionth time, a headache already forming once again. He'd been trying for a week to get his teammate to understand the chant, but he just couldn't get it! It was frustrating beyond belief.

"PALADINS! THE GALRA ARE APPROACHING! TO YOUR LIONS!" Allura's voice rang out from the speakers in the hallways, and both Paladins wasted no time rushing to their hangars. Shiro was already out and racing towards their enemies, and Lance and Keith followed soon after. Hunk was the last one out, once more complaining about the stupid zipline not supporting his weight.

There were three cruisers advancing on the group, and fighter jets rushed towards the humans in droves. The team began blasting immediately, explosions lighting up the nearby space more than the stars and the Castle's light. They fought hard, but it was obvious they couldn't do much individually.

"We need Voltron!" Shiro called out, and the group went into formation. As they did, an idea struck Lance.

"WHAT TEAM?" he screamed as they merged.

"WILDCATS!" four voices screamed back. The Paladins felt the rush of confidence that came from the simple call and response, and it was enough to let them finish off the Galran ships in only a few minutes.

The humans boarded the Castle laughing, meeting in the lounge with grins firmly in place.

"Lance, that was perfect," Hunk told his friend, pulling the other into a side-hug. "I can't believe none of us have done that sooner."

"Well, I thought it was better than the Voltron chant," the Blue Paladin responded, eyeing Keith.

"That one actually makes sense," the boy said defensively, arms crossed.

"That's why I think it's better. The Voltron one makes sense to most of us, this one makes sense to all of us."

"Excuse me," a voice interrupted. The Paladins turned towards Allura, only now noticing she had entered the room. Both her and Coran seemed rather confused. "But, who are the Wildcats? They are a team? Of what?" Pidge smirked at the princess, glasses glinting in the artificial lighting.

"Schools on Earth sometimes have names that they call their students in a general sense, and their sports teams are named after that. There's a school with kids called Wildcats, so their basketball team is called the Wildcats. However, actual wildcats are just what the name says. Cats that are wild, as in known to be vicious and not meant to be around humans much if at all."

"And what are cats?"

"Small feline predators with sharp claws and teeth, impeccable balance, night vision, and a strong hunting instinct. Their tongues have small hooks on them to help rip the meat from their prey's bones, and they can jump really high or far when they pounce. Humans domesticated some, creating smaller variants called housecats. We also took lions and tigers, two incredibly dangerous and very big cats, and bred them together to make an animal that can't even reproduce. Some big cats are kept as pets or in captivity in zoos and stuff, and they could kill us in seconds. But they're fluffy and occasionally very sweet, so we keep attempting to befriend or domesticate them more than we already have."

Allura and Coran were silent. And horrified. Very very very horrified.

"You keep these creatures in your homes?" Allura finally asked, eyes wide and seeming to be unable to comprehend what had been said. To be fair, Pidge had made it sound rather terrifying, or at least caused unease to her fellow humans. Lance was the only one unaffected. He blamed Tumblr.

"Yeah, of course we do," Lance commented, joining the fun. "Same with dogs. Those are canine predators that rely more on strength than agility when hunting. They're used for hunting, pest control, disability management, companionship, and pretty much anything else we could think of. They travel in packs more often than felines, and the wilder canines are wolves and coyotes. Unlike housecats, dogs can get really big. I mean, English Mastiffs are absolutely huge, and that's just one breed. Dogs are more likely to be kept as pets because they're generally considered friendlier, though nowadays it's a 50-50 chance. And that's just dogs and cats that's being counted. If you put in all of the other types of animals, snakes - reptiles that don't have legs and some are venomous, and some just literally squeeze the life out of you - and lizards - basically snakes with legs that don't use constriction but instead sometimes use their tongues or claws and just latch on - and frogs - the poison dart frog is tiny but deadly - and all sorts of birds, from eagles that dive at high speeds and snatch prey off the ground to parrots that can mimic sounds so well people have mistaken them for sirens or babies crying. Humans like taking the animals that could kill us and making them pets so that we can enjoy how cute they look. Or just feel kickbutt when our boa constrictor hisses at bullies but no one can get rid of it because it's a certified service animal."

"Princey was terrifying."

"Hunk, you only thought that because he tried to hug you before I explained that he does things like that."

"HE WAS TRYING TO MURDER ME!"

"HE WAS SAD WHEN YOU STARTED SCREAMING AND HE JUSTED WANTED TO SHOW THAT HE ACCEPTED YOU AS MY FRIEND! HE WAS GIVING YOU HIS BLESSING! HE SULKED FOR THREE DAYS AFTER YOU REJECTED HIM, HUNK! IT WASN'T MURDER!"

"ATTEMPTED MURDER!"

The argument escalated, with questions tossed in by the other humans about why Lance needed a service animal and why a boa constrictor and why Princey and more. Most questions were ignored in favor of the shouting match between the two bros. Shiro put a stop to it when Pidge and Keith looked at him for guidance. After all, the Yellow and Blue Paladins never fought. Ever. And now they were fighting about something obscure and personal.

The Alteans left the moment the teens raised their voices, heading directly for the control room.

"Coran, pull up a new log, and please make sure none of the Paladins can access it. A secure file for just you and I, at least at the moment."

"Of course, princess! And what should I label it?"

"A Guide To Humans." The log was created and pulled up, and both aliens stood at the computer. Together, they inputted their newly learned facts, agreeing that they would never understand their Terran companions, but they may as well try. Especially if they somehow found living with other predators to be normal and beneficial, and yet could make it sound absolutely horrifying.

Humans live with many different predators from their home world that are domesticated for different uses. These uses are listed below as they are discovered. Fauna that are considered 'normal' or 'okay' to be kept within a home, as 'pets', will also be listed and described. Beware, as the human's normalcy for having these creatures may cause their analysis of other 'alien' creatures' danger level to be incorrect or considerably lower than the official assessment.

If in a battle and struggling, verbalizing the question, "What team?" (preferably in a raised and/or enthusiastic voice) will result in any Terrans to respond with the word "wildcats" (at an extremely increased volume) and an aura of confidence within the humans. This most likely can be used every battle with continual effects, and will leave the humans with increased success and higher dopamine levels. It will also unify any Terrans, so there is a possible use in causing multiple groups of the beings to join together, despite any previous disputes or separations.

On all accounts, proceed with caution until new data can be collected to verify the information and theories presented here.

[ginkgomoon]

Gavin's New Rain Date- Analysis

Finally was able to watch this new Gavin date, and of course, the gears in my brain started to turn and analyse then type out each individual sentence. I love how I will never look at MLQC content the same way ever again ever since I started Tumblr.

This analysis will heavily be referencing Gavin and MC’s high school history which I made a detailed timeline that you can read before moving onto this analysis.

Following the sound, I discovered a cardboard box in a corner of a wall along the street, with one white and one black kitten crammed within, looking up at me and meowing incessantly.

MC: “Are you guys hungry?”

I squatted down and took out a little packet of sealed cat food.

“You two share now, okay?”

Seeing the two cats tussling over what was apparently their first meal in a while, I couldn’t help but chuckle. I placed the umbrella on top of the cardboard box and prepared to get up and run to the metro station but the rain pattering down suddenly halted.

A shadow blocked out the sky over me. I looked up in surprise to see Gavin holding an umbrella.

Gavin: “So there you are.”

-

He started walking, and we proceeded shoulder to shoulder toward the metro station under the broad umbrella. The rain dripped and splashed everywhere. Suddenly, a scene from the past flashed in my mind, giving me a feeling of déjà vu.

MC: “This seems to have happened before.”

He turned to look at me, a flash of nostalgia in his eyes.

Gavin: “It has, actually.”

He looked at the falling rain and the shining street lights, and thought back to a long time ago when they first met. That was also a rainy day, lit up with the dim lamplight. The drizzle on the girl’s bangs blossomed into a neon glow the boy had never seen before. -New Rain Date

-

As he passed down by the alley, he saw a girl squatting at the corner like a mushroom. She didn’t have an umbrella, relying on a thin, rundown roof for shelter.

Gavin could hear sounds coming from the paper box. Confused, he paused in his steps. It turned out to be a little kitten.  

The girl’s clothes and hair were already drenched from the rain and running down along the side of her face, but she didn’t seem bothered by it. The kitten, with a handkerchief covering it, would meow occasionally .

The girl chuckled softly and said, “are you hungry?”

At that moment, Gavin had thought the girl was asking that question to herself. She retrieved snacks from her bag and opened it, feeding it to the kitten.

The drizzle that accompanied the dim street lamps along the roadside, fell on the tips of the girl’s hair. A rainbow he had never seen before then appears. For an inexplicable reason, for a long time Gavin had stood there until the girl had turned back.

She looked at Gavin in astonishment, not knowing how he had been standing at the opening of the alley.

Water droplets dropped continuously onto Gavin drenching his light-coloured fringe on in front of his forehead. A few seconds passed, and the girl’s astonishment changed into a clear smile, warming into Gavin’s heart without permission.

Gavin frustrated kicked away a can near his feet. He then hurriedly removed his jacket, covering it over the girl’s head. He heard a faint “thank you!” from behind when he had gone.

Gavin ran in the rain, his white shirt fully drenched. In the eyes of that girl, Gavin had a different colour when compared to the tales told about him. -CN Tilted Time Rumours and Secrets

Just from a couple of sentences, we can make out a lot of parallels. I love how in MLQC, the writers make the effort for the storyline and events to juxtapose certain parts, as well. From here, we can also highlight new concepts, too.

On the first rainy day of high school, MC encounters a hungry kitten in a box and feeds it. At the exact moment, Gavin sees her for the first time. After a while, MC turns and smiles at him. In response to this, he takes off his own school jacket and drapes it over her head to shelter her from the rain. He runs off.

Similarly, in the New Rain Date, on a rainy day after work, MC sees two cats in a box and feeds them. Once Gavin sees her, he approaches her to shelter her with his umbrella, and she turns to smile at him. He smiles back. They both leave together.

In addition to the parallels, we can denote specific uses of symbolism that has been established.

The most first and most obvious one- rain. Rain is the symbol of renewal and rebirth. It’s the “washing away of the old” and “regrowing something better”. Without rain, you can’t grow flowers, right? In this context, rain represents the growing pain but also the beauty of life.

Gavin with the umbrella reinforces the physical idea sheltering her from the rain, but he also wants to protect her literally and metaphorically from any danger or any hardship. Like before back then in high school, he gives her his jacket to protect her from the rain- from being drowned like him. But this time, they are under shelter of the umbrella, together. As well of course, not to mention that he gave her his jacket this time around and found her in it, too.

Even within the date title, “New Rain”, we can also apply the contrast between back when they were in high school and where they are currently. The “old rain” would showcase the ideas of being with someone after waiting for them. This concept is what Gavin and MC both discuss, symbolic to their relationship because it unknowingly reminds them of how they were before. This develops into a higher understanding from reflecting, therefore catalyses the “new rain”.

I flipped through pages and stopped at one-

“All this time, I’ve been waiting for you to knock at this door and join me out of the rain.”

The delicate handwriting in blue ink was now a bit blurred. I couldn’t resist wondering what the story was behind the entry.

Gavin: “What are you reading?”

MC: “It seems to be a tale of unrequited love.”

I showed Gavin the entry in the guest book, and after reading it, a confused look came over him.

Gavin: “What makes you think that?”

MC: “Love is just like a sudden storm. One of them was out in the rain, wanting to knock on the door but hesitating. The other was waiting inside for a knock that never came.”

Gavin: “What do you think became of them?”

MC: “Perhaps the more you like someone, the more hesitant you are?”

Gavin: “But maybe at the end of the story, they were together.”

MC states that love comes expectantly, with the knock of intrusion to bring a house of cards down. You never know until it happens on hindsight- that the person is exactly what you want and need.

“It’s she who told me I could live a stronger life. And it’s she who told me I could live a more tender life.” -Spring Festival Date

Gavin had a tough upbringing contrasted to MC, with Gavin noting that she had a very pure look in her eyes when he first met her.

It is certain that MC (thankfully) hadn’t experienced when Gavin had back in his age, and although Gavin who had thought to be “damaged goods” to others, was willing to put that past him and take a chance with MC. Therefore, wanting to experience life- everything that it has to offer- together.

Upon flipping to a certain page, a familiar handwriting once again appeared before me. A simple sentence was written in the white space on the page. “It’s sunshine after rain. We’re together.”

-

MC: “Gavin, after you left, I read through the guest book some more and found the ending. They were together after all!”

Gavin: “Then one of them must have opened that door first.”

MC: Right. But if they had poured their hearts to each other from the beginning, then they wouldn’t have had to wait so long, would they?”

Gavin: “Maybe that person wasn’t afraid of knocking on the door. Maybe there was some other reason.”

His words made me think of that blood-stained letter, and the leaving without saying goodbye- or so I’d thought. The figure of someone waiting in a library seemed to form in front of me.

Again, MC had wondered “why couldn’t they confess?” almost like how people may have thought Gavin had every opportunity to confess to MC in high school.

But, the fact is, he really didn’t. Extrinsic forces, such as his father, his Evol and keeping MC safe from a distance had stopped him, or rather what MC further states, “perhaps the more you like someone, the more hesitant you are,” hesitated instead, because Gavin cannot fathom risking MC for absolutely anything at all. That is, until when he ran out of time and wrote the letter to her.

MC: “But if the rain had stopped, they would have missed it. If it was you, what would you do?”

Gavin paused. His hand holding the jacket stopped on my shoulder, while the other wipe away a bead of water from my face.

Gavin: “I would wait in the rain forever.”

He stared deeply into my eyes, and for moment I got the feeling that he wasn’t just speaking from hypotheticals. The feeling gave me an unexplainable hurtful sensation, and the rain continued to fall.

MC: “But the rain would stop in the end.”

“No, it wouldn’t.” This time he spoke without hesitation.

Gavin: “And if it did, I would wait for it to start raining all over again.”

The thing is, he really would wait for however long for her. He would persevere through life’s pains for her. He would be there time and time again to shelter her. He would go through all of it again just to meet her once more. SOBS SOBS SOBS

His calloused fingertip slipped from my cheek to my lip, bringing my breath to a halt for a second.

“Because there will never be another person like her.”

He caressed my bottom lip, and I could feel his warm breath clearly across my cheek. At seem point, my hand worked its way up to the side of his neck, an uncontrollable urge to get closer.

“Only you can find the real Gavin. Before meeting you, no one has ever entered his heart, because no one had ever reached it before. Only one person has ever broken though.”

Finally, his kiss fell upon my lips, along with a sightly chill wetness and that scent that only Gavin, had, taking my senses by storm. There was an emotion in his smouldering eyes that made my heart skip a heart, but it only scratched the surface, not going further.

The kiss was over in a moment, and only his scorching body heat still lingered distinctively on my lips.

“Now, I’ve knocked on the door.”

Without saying a word, I slipped my arm around Gavin’s neck and pulled him close, then closed my eyes and pressed my lips to his. Gavin froze, and his breath was immediately thrown off rhythm. But the next second, his hand was pressing the back of my hand, not giving me the chance to back out.

Perhaps… before you knocked on the door, I had already walked into the storm, to stand by your side.

The rain seemed without end. And we waited in the rain, for when the sun would shine again.

They’re willing to go through life’s pains in order to be with each other and live through the happiness they created together. MC fully accepts him the way he is, and instead of being under his protection, she’s willing to fight for him, beside him.

[cantillat-moved]

I should be writing drafts, but I had a series of distractions and I saw a post that made me want to write some meta. It is also something that always bothered me: how people bash Saber and people also talking nonsense about how Shirou treats Saber.

On a meta level, Nasu always expressed some regret on how he wrote Shirou’s treatment of Saber. Let’s take a few things into consideration: at the time Nasu was fresh out of high school and had published his first success, Tsukihime. It is famous how many routes and ideas were cut from Fate/Stay Night due to time restraints, so it isn’t hard to assume that the drafts had fewer passes than Nasu wished to. Moreover, the first anime adaptation, the DEEN studios one, was HORRID when treating Shirou. He looked like a little misogynist in places, specially as it lacked the internal dialogue and the adaptation was in itself very VERY bad. I remember how much hate Shirou used to get here on tumblr when this anime was released and it was the main reason why I didn’t try my hand at rping him at the time.

The main focus on Shirou’s and Saber’s relationships is how their lives were parallels. Dedicating themselves to become the embodiment of an ideal that can’t be attained. How both of them discard their humanity in order to serve people without asking for recognition or even gratitude, only because it is what they believe they wish to do. This is why Archer’s lecture at the shed in UBW hits both Saber and Shirou so hard – and Saber can tell it was also directed to her after realizing Archer’s identity. And watching Shirou in that route she also had her answer.

To be the Hero of Justice is to always be facing the one dilemma: to sacrifice the one for the wellbeing of the many. Saber had to remove herself from emotions and make painful decisions sometimes, to the point that Tristan left the Round Table with the haunting words "Our king does not understand the human heart." – which was the farthest thing from the truth, because it hurt her so much that she had to make the decisions. Shirou, however, decided that the one to be sacrificed for the good of everybody else was himself. He was to be the sacrifice. And because of their mindsets being so alike, they got angry at each other for doing the stupid thing.

Shirou was also a deeply traumatized individual that lacked coping mechanisms. He could conceal his PTSD and was always aware that he was messed up and traumatized, but bottled everything to fit in. Everything he knew as a kid ended overnight: his biological family, possibly even the school he used to attend and his classmates, teachers, neighbors, everybody in his world was gone. His relatives never even seemed to bother to try to adopt him. Then he got adopted by his savior, someone whom he adored deeply, and gave him a sense of stability and safety. Shirou wanted to be just like Kiritsugu. … Except that Kiritsugu died, and the boy became an orphan for the second time. Sure, he had Raiga to fall back, and Taiga was his legal guardian and always present, but it wasn’t the same thing as having a “family”. For a very long time he vented his frustrations doing the high jump at the track team and failing miserably until sundown, but eventually got some more direction after getting a part time job, but he never really could work his fear of losing his fear of abandonment, of someone he loved dying. When he met Saber, she quickly became someone he adored. The idea of losing her was excruciating. Hence the “But you are a girl!” It wasn’t anything about sexism. It was the tip of the iceberg. I don’t recall if it was in a drama CD or in the game, or if I’m just imagining it, but Kiritsugu would say something like “A guy who makes a girl cry is the worst kind of man” and Shirou would seriously take it to his heart – coating his own trauma with a layer of “I’m a guy, so I must protect girls”.

Along the same lines, Saber could recognize in Shirou that he would go down the same way she did, and possibly having an upsetting end. Sure, at first she was offended that he saw her as a “girl” when he should be seeing her as a “king”, but it wasn’t the case: he saw her as a “person”, the “girl” thing was his awkward and rather immature way to try to express something that he couldn’t fully grasp. I’m pretty sure that Saber RPers have different views of it or how it would go, but it is clear that they saw reflections of themselves on one another and wished them to be happy.

I have seen so many people talking crap about Saber over the years, and it is easy to tell it is mostly from people who haven’t read the VN or try to find justifications and twist them a bit. If you don’t like her or like another route, sure. I love all the girls and have criticisms on all the routes. But if you need to demean one to validate the other, then maybe your ship isn’t so solid as you think.

[shades-of-grayro]

Don't take out your frustration on new people trying to figure their stuff out. Instead of blasting the other user's opinion, -as misinformed as it was- because they didn't seem to be doing it with bad intentions or malice- to everyone who sees your blog, you could've made a reply clarifying without putting the blog on blast. Do better. Don't be an unsafe space for healthy discussion.

I would have loved to use the reply feature for exactly that reason, but unfortunately Tumblr does not let me reply from this blog. So, if you have any other suggestions, I'd be glad to hear them, but that one doesn't work. Tumblr sucks, I know.

I try to mitigate the impact of this flaw of Tumblr as much as possible, but my policy is that I do not leave bigoted comments unchallenged on my posts. Specifically because comments like those make our community an unsafe place for others (including myself). I reply or I delete. I debated deleting those comments, but I judged them to be potentially well meaning (it really was not clear at all from either person's first comment - second person seemed more clearly well-meaning on the *second* comment), so I responded to give those individuals the chance to learn how to do better. Could I have been gentler? Sure. But I am just so fed up with that kind of sentiment in our community, and it didn't happen.

I specifically offered to delete all of those posts if the commenter was okay with me also deleting their comments because I recognize what you mention as a problem. The commenter's response did not include a request to do so, so I did not. (That offer still stands, btw). One thing I didn't do which I probably should have was request that people not reblog that version of the post, and I apologize for not thinking of that at the time. I will make a point to do that in the future.

I also use the tag "#intracommunity issues" so that my followers who do not want to see those kinds of posts do not have to. And I do not promote or condone a blog culture of having my followers pile on (hence why one of my problems with that commenter was that they were responding to something I already addressed). This problem is one I've thought through, and that was the best solution I had to it at the time. I'm also, again, happy to hear more suggestions if you have them, but the reply feature is a no-go.

I do want to be abundantly clear: "new people trying to figure their stuff out" don't have a free pass on saying things that harm others. Gatekeeping based on attraction is something I find to be hurtful to me personally, and while I generally try to have those kind of conversations gently, it doesn't happen all the time. If a newbie is actively making a space unsafe *for me*, that's already "an unsafe space for healthy discussion"!

Lastly, while the standards you are expecting me to live up to are actually ones I aspire to, it is also not appropriate to tone police. Conversing gently with people who do things that hurt you is something to personally aspire to, not something to demand of others when they respond harshly to something that hurt them. (Especially given that I don't have masses of followers who are likely to do harm, like some people on the internet do.) That personal aspiration has to go *hand in hand* with doing your best to listen to people even when they're at their last straw and being a bit harsher, otherwise it's just another tool to cause harm. I'm not overly bothered by this, but it's something to keep in mind for your interactions with others.

ETA: I also define "well-meaning" to be not rigidly holding bigoted opinions. People can see their intent as positive while causing harm (most people do when they cause harm, no matter how abhorrent) - I do not consider this to be well-meaning (i.e. more deserving of an understanding response) unless it is accompanied by willingness to see the harm they caused and try to fix it. The view the second commenter expressed in their first comment is one that is often held quite rigidly, so I am very hesitant with assuming someone is well-meaning when they say things like that.