#and like yes I realize that these types of people are fucking miserable

[wewontbesleeping]

sorry, I’m such a baby, but sometimes I go online and it’s like. well. I think things would be better if people were just nicer to each other. I think that would be really good. because some people are really fucking mean and I hate it.

[semperamans]

I read your writing for Johnny I’m FERAL i saw that your on a trip hope your having the best time I understand if this isn’t written asap🫶🏽 but I had an idea for ( jealous) johnny

So you’ve always been around the outlaws not major close but there, then your friend kathy starts dating benny and you slot in with them permanently it’s no secret to anyone that your stunning like the girl on the block that everyone wants type of thing but a sweet heart

Johnny always admired from afar ( maybe you have a secret soft spot for him as well, you both steal glances etc like you know that one person you naturally gravitate toward when in a group of people) but he never made any moves

But then word on the street you’ve finally said yes to a date with someone maybe not a biker but a mechanical (idk) and Johnny overhears the boys speaking about it and he’s like wtf

And v stupid on your part you thought after your date you’d bring him to the bar with everyone and it would be good vibes lol definitely not the only vibes are rude unhappy and jealous Johnny ( everyone’s just sat watching the tension like it’s a movie 😭) maybe he makes your date leave idk

I hope this isn’t too much 🫶🏽

kinda ran with this!

(reader is younger than johnny! slightly nsfw! violence!)

johnny's momma made him go to church on sundays when he was a youngin' and boy he hated it. jus' didn't make any sense to him - believin' in something he couldn't see (and wearin' those ridiculous clothes) - so the minute he turned old enough to make his own decisions he was outta there. i mean, he hasn't seen the inside of a church since he n'betty got hitched years ago - but the strangest damn thing happened to him the other night. he saw a goddamn angel in the flesh and it changed his entire life.

september 1965

johnny always hated the soaps betty watched. fuckin' unrealistic, y'know? s'much as he missed betty, he was glad when she up and left and took the fuckin' antennas with her. time didn't stop whenever ya saw someone attractive. i mean, there was no dreamy music or fuckin' swirlin' sparkles. but then you stumbled into the clubhouse with your sweet smile and long painted nails and swishy dress and johnny was spellbound because what the fuck? he'd never seen you before - that much he knew. if he had seen you 'round prior to this night he woulda called his momma and apologized for not believin' her all these years. a fuckin' angel amongst all these sinners - who woulda thought? you were just so young n'precious; smilin' brightly next to a laughin' kathy. johnny couldn't help but stare n'he tried not to make it obvious, y'know, but who could blame 'em? then you spoke to him. turned your head just so and gave him a little wave and a "hello" that made his heart squeeze and his cock twitch and he knew he was destined to be fucked for the rest of his miserable life.

your big ole eyes lit up when he introduced himself. he gave you the spiel: his name, that he's the president of this rag-tag group of fuckin' bozos, n'like with kathy he made the promise that he wouldn't let nothin' happen to ya. he said it to kathy outta due diligence, y'know? i mean, she looked mortified when she stumbled in through the doors lookin' for dingy - but you? you weren't at all off-put by cockroach's stories or wahoo's slurred speech. you just giggled n'shook your head, wrapping your pink lips around a bottle of pop. maybe you were just too young and naive to realize the relative danger of bein' there, johnny thought. i mean, you were just this sweet girl who fluttered her lashes and saw the good in everyone an' so johnny told himself to let it go. to knock it off. that you were too young. too pure. too angelic. but, well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, right?

october 1965

"well, look at you," each word that dripped from johnny's mouth had been submerged in lust and coated with longing and he wanted to kick his own fucking ass but you beamed at 'em. you had spearheaded the idea to have a costume party on halloween n'of course all the guys voted yes at the meetin'. it was fuckin' cold that night, but it hadn't stopped wahoo and corky from rippin' their shirts n'jeans an' stealin' cal's earrings to look like pirates. cockroach's wife had affixed long, cloth-wrapped wires to his back so he could resemble his namesake n'sonny'd even found a rubber clown mask that zipco fuckin' hated. then there was you. you - of course - were an angel. it felt like a cruel fuckin' joke when johnny saw ya stumblin' through the door in heels that were a bit too tall of ya. you were a vision of white and wings and feathers and he was so unbelievably in love with you it made him sick. "g'head n'gimmie a twirl, peach. lemme look at ya."

so you did and you always did exactly what johnny said which was something he both hated and adored. you were always so good to 'em. whenever you'd come in with kathy you'd slide a chair right next to him and he'd fuckin' burn whenever your leg kissed his. he felt like a goddamn 16-year-old gettin' hard at the attention you bestowed upon 'em, but he couldn't help it. couldn't help that it made his heart soar when you propped your elbows on the table n'leaned in closer to hear over the crooning music. and it would be so easy to use that power for evil, y'know? to tell ya that he had a hard day n'just needed some lovin' and he knows you'd give it to 'em. such an affectionate girl you were, always huggin' on everyone n'stumblin' into his arms when you had a bit too much to drink. he'd felt your lips against his ear as you whispered drunken secrets to 'em but he'd never felt them on his own and he wanted to. he really fuckin' wanted to kiss you.

"well, what do ya think?"

you didn't seem phased that he had been staring. y'just stood there with a little smile n'your hands slightly outstretched like ya might actually use those wings to fly off. how was johnny to not eat you alive?

"think you look perfect. jus' like the real thing."

because you were.

after knowin' you for a month johnny was certain his initial reaction toward ya hadn't been an exaggeration. you were a goddamn angel - costume or not. at his high praises, you smiled even bigger. he loved your smile. then you were fluttering off to find benny n'kathy to show 'em your pretty wings and all johnny could think about as you high-fived and waved to everyone was how you'd so quickly grown to be an integral part of the group. a room felt empty without your robust laughter n'when you weren't around johnny was wishin' you were. you prettied up the place - prettied up johnny's life - n'maybe god had forgiven him for all the bad shit he'd done in life. i mean, why else would he have given johnny a gift? given johnny you.

but you weren't his.

you were never gonna be his.

and johnny accepts that.

kind of.

january 1966

he doesn't.

johnny doesn't know her name - doesn't care - because she wears the same perfume you do an' with his eyes closed he can almost imagine that it's you under him n'not some random from down the street. you're the one takin' him so well n'tellin' him how good it feels, not her. not this girl who means nothing to him. johnny even moans your name, rookie fuckin' mistake, n'the woman smacks him, which is deserved n'the second she tugs up her dress and leaves johnny is like a wild animal; fuckin' his fist, n'shoving his face into the pillow to chase the fleeting scent of you you you.

februrary 1966

he's ruined.

his thoughts are of you - only you - and they've grown progressively worse. he wants to marry you, to wake up to your sweet smile, to make you a momma, but fuck he can't. you're still so sweet n'young and you have no idea what the real world is like and he wants to ruin your life but he can't. he promised nothin' would happen to you n'he doesn't break promises even if it breaks his fucking heart.

the next time he sees you is at the family picnic. you've got a scarf in your hair n'you're so happy to see him - he knows by the way your face lights up n'you come skippin' over - but then he's shrugging off your hug and goddamn your sorrowful little pout almost breaks him, but he stays on course. when you come to stand by him at the fire, he moves. he doesn't let you sit on his lap when you all settle in and refuses when you ask him to toast your marshmallow and you're so confused. you don't know what you did; how you made him angry n'why he wants nothin' to do with you anymore.

he won't even acknowledge you when you paw at his arm and whisper his name. he stays locked in conversation with wahoo and corky who seem just as confused as you are, but they say nothing.

nothing.

maybe that's all this was after all.

march 1966

johnny doesn't pick up when you call.

he swore he always would, but he doesn't.

april 1966

"oh yeah! she's gotta man now!" kathy says nonchalantly like she didn't just ruin johnny's life. the room feels too hot. what did dingy say? he didn't hear over the ringin' in his fuckin' ears.

"it's that, uh, robbie fella. y'know, the one who works in sharky's garage? yeah, apparently they hit it off n'ya know, now they're goin' steady." kathy's words lodge deep in johnny's brain the way a fuckin' bullet would n'his heart is falin' out of his ass and okay, maybe he wasn't so good at hiding his feelings because benny n'brucie turn to look at him, but he's fine. yeah. no. he's totally fine. he knew this would happen, knew that you would go on about your life. it's what you deserve. nice guy, close in age. yeah. that's fine.

he definitely doesn't punch a hole in the wall picturin' robbie's face.

july 1966

"well, look at you."

johnny's got his back turned, so he isn't sure who sonny is talkin' about til he peers over his shoulder n'almost falls outta his seat. he's too drunk for this, so drunk he's seeing angels because there you are and oh, you look so pretty. how long has it been since he's seen ya? couple of months? my god, you've gotten prettier, somehow. hair is longer now and your eyes actually look happy. you give hugs, avoid johnny, n'then gesture over toward the door where that no good, low down robbie stands.

in truth, robbie's a good kid. all the guys know 'em. i mean, he can't ride - johnny isn't even sure he could hold up a goddamn bike with those scrawny legs - but he knows his way inside and out 'round a bike. the man's brain is like a fuckin' robot n'so of course he gets along with cal and johnny doesn't know why he feels so betrayed when all the guys go stumblin' over to greet the fuckin' traitor. you stay right where you are, though. lookin' over at johnny with unspoken words lodged in your throat. there is so much you wanna say to him, but all you manage is a choked

"hi,"

"get 'em outta here."

your eyebrows furrow, frown etching onto your mouth as you shift your weight from one foot to the next.

"why?"

"because this is my bar n'i wan' 'em gone."

"he hasn't done nothin' to you!"

oh but he has because what's that glintin' on your finger? johnny rises from his seat so quickly he damn near loses his balance, but he regains it quick enough to snatch your hand n'sure enough...

johnny has no right to be upset. i mean, you were never his to begin with, right? but his fucking heart is in pieces all over the floor just like the beer bottle he busts over robbie's head n'there is fuckin' chaos. it takes benny, brucie, and whaoo to pull johnny off robbie. the poor guy hasn't done nothin' wrong; just gave you the life johnny always wanted. like, now, as johnny pants n'winces as kathy cleans up his knuckles, robbie's got your face cradled in his palm. he's kissin' your cheeks and rubbin' his hand down your arm and... pressin' it to your stomach.

johnny never believed much in religion, but he prays that there is some kind of god because he's going to need some forgiveness before the night is through.

[dragonfly0808]

Musa’s Discography Pt. 1

Yes, I spend way too long thinking about stuff like this about my characters leave me alone ajajajjaaa

But srly like 2 people have asked me about this and I’ve spent way too long thinking about what Musa discography would actually be like so… here is her discography with a way too detailed description of why I chose each of the songs, I had way too much fun with this.

First EP. Written in the later half of s2 and before s3 published in the summer between s2 and s3

I had no specific ‘theme’ for this one, just songs I felt fit Musa’s mentality and would be cool for her first project

For the first EP, which consists of:

The Beginning by Madison Beer.

I just really love this intro it’s a gorgeous showcase of vocals and it’s beautiful and perfect.

I Hate the Way by Sofia Carson.

I love this song. Musa would base if mostly off of Riven’s epic screw up in s2 ch27. Also the guitar solo part feels perfect for her.

Whispers by Halsey.

I can’t quite explain why but this song is so Musa-coded to me. At least my version of her. She builds walls up and tries to not care and fails miserably every time. Also touches slightly on the depression that she def never adressed before going to Alfea and meeting the girls

Run and Hide by Sabrina Carpenter.

I feel like this song fits Musa’s mentality in s1 and part of s2 perfectly especially when it comes to romantic love. ‘Started thinking love’s a loaded gun, nobody wants to fight�� ‘If you can’t hide run, if you can’t run hide’ ‘I don’t wanna run I don’t wanna hide’ it’s just perfect for how she used to think and I really love the idea of her writing this precisely as she starts to let go of that mentality

favorite crime by Olivia Rodrigo.

This would be a more story-telling type song written with Helia cause I feel like putting those two together they would absolutely go full story tellers and poem-like lyrics and this feels like smth they would absolutely write one night they couldn’t sleep cause they love a good sob love story

Ribs by Lorde.

Written about the Winx and the Specialists with a sprinkle of dreading growing up

Second EP. Written during the first half of s3, published right before Winter Break

This one did have a slight ‘theme’ to it since it was mostly written while she was fighting with Riven over secrets on both sides and she was very frustrated with herself and projecting a bit on him.

Hard to Love by Rose.

This feels very Musa-coded to me. She has that instinct of ‘oh shoot I’m loved? Fucking run for the hills!’ But more like… again, she builds walls. So I can see her writing this one night very frustrated with herself like, why am I like this?

Rock Bottom by Hailee Steinfeld.

I love this song and I feel like it suits Rivusa so perfectly in the first half of s3 ‘We’re on the right side of rock bottom and I hope that we keep falling. We’re on the good side of bad karma, cause we keep on coming back for more. We’re on the right side of rock bottom, and to you I just keep crawling. You’re the best kind of bad smth, cause we keep on coming back for more.’ Literally them at this point before they learn to properly communicate. Also ‘what are we fighting for? Seems like we do it just for fun.’ Love this song

Monster in Me by Little Mix.

Another song that suits them when they’re at rock bottom. ‘Touch me, why don’t we kill each other slowly?’ ‘The monster in me loves the monster in you’. Def can see Musa writing this when she’s frustrated with herself and Riv cause she knows why they’re both screwed up but can’t quite figure out how to get past it

when the party’s over by Billie Eilish.

This was when, for a moment Musa considered just calling it quits cause she wonders if maybe they’re both too fucked up to make it work and she wrote this whilst in depression. She also realized that she was hurting him by picking fights and not being honest and wrote this in response to that realization

Midnight Rain by Taylor Swift.

This one was also co-written by Helia, they went for another story-telling not-to-be love story.

False God by Taylor Swift.

Another song that feels oh so Rivusa-coded to me. Like, cmon this is one of those songs that played in the back of my head every single time I had them argue in s3 and feels like the perfect song to end an album all about fighting the one you love

Winx Rewrite Masterlist

Part 2

[beebeetheclown]

This is going to be such a corny, silly, cringe, and pathetic girl type of thing to say but here is a happy rant for you:

I am crying but I’m pretty sure they are more so happy tears. I sit in my dorm room and I realize that this blog is so special to me. Yeah it’s a blog about a girl obsessing over a 45 year old man but still it’s special to me.

It is so special to me because it is what I look forward to doing everyday. I don’t have any friends in real life and I have some on here that make me so happy. Even people who just reblog my things make me happy.

Not to be all “boo hoo” but every week day I have to spend in college is a horrible day for me. I end up so drained and depressed. I seriously think the biggest thing that’s helping me get through this isn’t even my medication or isn’t my therapist, it is this blog and my ao3. Seriously, my day could be so horrible, I could be at rock bottom, and coming on here, going on ao3, or updating my silly fics helps me so much. I come home from school so fucking miserable but I write and look at this account and then get better again. It is like drinking a vanilla iced coffee.

I feel this is so cliche and corny but bear with me here okayyy?? I just feel like I’ve finally found something I can be good at. This may sound over dramatic but I seriously have no clue where I’d be if I never posted my stories or got an account. Obviously my man Jeremy has helped me out too, but that’s different because he doesn’t know I exist ahaha.

I don’t know, just thank you for supporting me💗

Every time I rant now I’ll give you a picture of Jeremy to thank you. Here’s one of my favorites for you ;)

Also if we aren’t friends and you wanna be besties dm me I can be your bestie🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️ Don’t even be embarrassed you can fully just say “let’s be besties” and I’ll say yes. You can literally tell me anything.

[sapphic-scylla]

People tend to like when I talk candidly about my ADHD, so I figure, for you and for me, it would be a good idea to type out how my ADHD and the more obvious symptoms, manifestations, and issues I struggle with, so hopefully people don’t feel as alone:

Sleep Irregularities: It’s not necessarily insomnia. How my brain works is that it needs a very specific amount of sleep to function. That changes day to day, but what doesn’t change is how much energy my body can retain. So what happens is my sleep schedule frequently fucks itself so that I won’t fall asleep for 18-36hours and then may have to sleep for 12. Other times it’s completely normal. Your guess is as good as mine.

Emotional Volatility: I’ve always been an emotional person. Family growth stunting aside, my emotions are often hairpin trigger and are overreactionary or nonexistent. No inbetween.

Emotional Vulnerability: ADHD brains are susceptible to high highs and low lows like I said, but this also means we have high levels of Rejection Sensitivity and Hurt Feelings. Our self esteems are often frayed so badly that people calling our hobbies unfun or someone telling us no can hurt more than it reasonably should. We don’t like it either.

Energy Absorption: Piggybacking off of the last point, my emotional state of being and my reactions are almost inseparably tied to the energy in a room. People’s emotions soak into my skin like water to a sponge, so often how I react and how I engage with people is dependent on the energy they put out. I hate it, but I can’t control it.

Magpie Instincts: Yes, “ohh shiny” comes with ADHD. Reducing it to ONLY this point is very obviously bad, but ignoring it exists is also bad. People think it’s funny, but they miss out on the part where WE DON’T HAVE CONTROL OVER THIS EITHER. Our brains just see cool things and immediately feel a primal, unshakable need to take/investigate things because we think they’re cool or our focus takes over.

Daydreaming: This is my BIGGEST ADHD symptom. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve had my head in the clouds. I didn’t realize this was an ADHD symptom until I got diagnosed. Paying attention in class was hard because my brain loved going on tangents within itself and eventually it’s so far from the moment, there’s no saving me.

Lack of Retention and Memory: This ties with the previous point. My memory (short term and long term) IS SHIT. It’s miserable. And again, people think it’s quirky. IT’S FUCKING NOT. Do you have any idea how obnoxious it is to leave important things at home or work 5 times a week? How about not being able to check in to a conversation for long enough to be able to listen to a friend, partner, or S.O.? How about trying to access memories for simple to-do list items or current objectives dozens of times a day?! This symptom has literally ruined relationships.

Hyper Focus: This feels like a very broad topic, so I’m going to break this into parts:

Perfectionism: My brain’s inability to move on from incomplete tasks or projects is terrible.

Stalled Engine: The opposite of perfectionism. If my brain’s inability knows how difficult it will be to “perfect” a task, it won’t even try most days.

Window Shopper’s Attachment: Not being able to think clearly or move on with my day unless I buy certain item in window or on Amazon. Bank account be damned.

Task Completion: Brain does not comprehend not completing at least something when going somewhere, so walking in and out of a shop without buying anything or getting on a video game and not doing anything feels the worst.

Laser Focus: Different from perfectionism, this is the inability to pull one’s self away from my “special interests”. If I get into something (recently, it has been Tears of the Kingdom), it will take literally the entirety of my force of will to take a break and go be responsible.

Hobbies: Doing anything other than what you want to do is SO difficult, especially when you’re with friends who have the same hobbies but not the same ADHD. You often feel like you’re annoying them by wanting to stay on that hobby.

Fidgeting/The Need To Care: My body and/or brain needs to be engaged in a task or conversation to care or I will fidget like a motherfucker. I have a whole box of fidget toys specifically for this to that I can maintain a semblance of focus and fortitude to do even something like my job.

The Why: Going deeper into my need to care, I will often not be able to find any reason to do a thing. Even if it’s EXTREMELY important. If my brain doesn’t see an emotional pay off or a strong enough physical or psychological need to complete a task, it will never get done. This is also known as the “Good Girl Reflex”. If I see no reward, my brain will either drag its ass through the dirt or just not do the thing at all.

Over/Understimulation: Loud music helps me focus because it fills up one of the required slots of brain activities. This doesn’t always work. My brain constantly fluctuates between needing to do 5 or more things and being unable to do even one. And it changes at the drop of a hat.

Inability to Sit: This is a fidget thing. I’ve never sat in a chair the same way for more than five minutes. Attempting to fall asleep is an uphill battle. Just having to sit still and not do anything is my worst nightmare. It’s not just my bisexuality that makes me sit in chairs weird, it’s also my ADHD.

Anxiety, Social and Otherwise: I’m sure there are studies done where people with ADHD are prone to higher levels of anxiety. It’s true here. My brain loves overthinking and overanalyzing, so people talking to me stresses me out, especially if I’m not friends with them or interact with them on a close, intimate basis and I often spiral afterwards thinking about what I could have said differently.

[jellogram]

The thing is, you actually CAN travel on a nothing budget. There's ways. But what the "live while you're young! life is short! be adventurous!" crowd doesn't understand is that those ways are either intensely miserable or straight up dangerous. Yes technically I could probably get myself to Guatemala for a hundred bucks or less and live off of basically nothing by begging for money and sleeping in parks. But does that sound like fun. Does that really sound like something I should do.

It's like these people are all either the type who WOULD do that, and they think they're superior because of it, or they've never traveled on a shoestring budget in their lives and therefore don't realize how fucking uncomfortable/dangerous it is. Even when there's basement tier travel options it's still not fair to act like someone's being boring or uppity for not wanting to do that.

[hyperactivewhore]

Oh, my God. I just read a TVD fanfiction - Marcel was female and was named Marcella by Klaus (later, she would go by Ella after faking her death to escape from Klaus) and Ella's relationship with the Mikaelsons was different than Marcel's. All of the Mikaelsons at the time treated her like family. Kol was not jealous of her, but he didn't really care about her. He pretty much ignored her existence. Elijah treated her like a daughter and taught her how to play the piano, but his relationship with Ella became strained after he realized Klaus was jealous, just like in canon. Rebekah and Ella had a sister-like and mother-daughter relationship. Rebekah loved dressing Ella up when she was 10, and Ella was devastated when Klaus daggered her for 52 years. Ella's relationship with Klaus was... weird. He was obsessed with her, even when she was a child. He'd control everything she did and limit her time with his siblings so that she was with him mostly. He gave her an education, and he taught her how to paint. And when she turned 18, he became even more obsessive and possessive. He fell in love with her and wanted to turn her into a vampire, but she was against it. He didn't care and turned her anyways, and she was forced to remain by his side, reluctantly allowing him to sleep with her and kiss her until 1918 when she brought Mikael to New Orleans to kill Klaus (in the story it was Ella, not Rebekah). And years later, in 2011, when he discovered that she was alive, he was ecstatic, but Ella was not. She yelled at him for turning her against her will, for raping her constantly, and compelling her. She also revealed that she was the one who brought Mikael to New Orleans. I didn't like the story because Klaus seemed a bit OOC. I don't think he's a rapist. None of the Mikaelsons seemed to be rapists. Sure, they've murdered innocent people, but I don't think they're that evil to resort to rape. Would Klaus turn his love interest against their will and compel them whenever he likes? Yes.

That fanfic sounds truly disgusting, I'm sorry. I don't judge people's writing, but the plot seems so fucked up.

Moving on to the rape debate, it's kinda hard to know if the Mikaelson are or aren't rapists considering they're well, evil. Klaus did try to sleep with Caroline while he was in Tyler's body, which it's sexual abuse because she did not know he wasn't her boyfriend, and while I don't think he would have went further aka actually having sex with her, it's still fucked up. We're talking about people who murdered, compelled and made everyone's life miserable simply because they could.

Do I think they're rapists, though? No, I certainly don't think they are. I don't see Elijah as a rapist at all, he's the least likely to do it in my eyes, Kol seems like the type who would see forcing himself on someone as an insult to himself or his abilities, and I believe the further Klaus could ever go apart from what he did as Tyler, is having sex with a person and then kill them, by either feeding or simply because he wanted to, literally what happened in season five while Hayley and him had a phone call (there was a dead naked body in his bed). And I don't see Rebekah, Freya or Finn as the rapist type at all.

But, of course, this is all up for debate. I get both sides.

[jamiesfootball]

⭐️ here's a director's cut question for OGYGGI(YHNBGL) (side note: i love this acronym. it may not be convenient to type but i hear it in my mind as the sound of a giant sea monster rising from the deep):

do you have a process for figuring out how to hint at what's going on with jamie and the other characters before roy knows about it? are there any alternate-pov versions of scenes that live in your brain, like with Low Battery?

also, anything you want to talk about with the 5+1 falling asleep fic! i love all the snippets you've posted from it very much

I too love the acronym. Look at it. It's so silly. I love the thought of it as a giant see monster rinsing from the deep - honestly I've looking at it and my dyslexic brain keeps filling in 'Oingo-Boingo.'

do you have a process for figuring out how to hint at what's going on with jamie and the other characters before roy knows about it?

Part of the fun (for me) with keeping everything in Roy's pov is the challenge of balancing how to get across what is happening elsewhere. Which is why I have The Spreadsheet:

(I think I have appropriately blurred this out enough that there shouldn't be spoilers)

(Also this has reminded me I have more notes that need added to it)

So on the left I have my List of Things. On this list are:

-Characters: anyone I regularly check in with and/or who has something going on in the background (Roy, Jamie, Colin, Keeley, etc)

-Character groups: any combination of characters who have plot beats going on as part of their group dynamic (Roy & Jamie, the Diamond Dogs, Roy & his family, etc)

-Specific plots: any recurring plot thread that I need to keep an eye on (Jamie's impending Brazil photoshoot, the Roy & Jamie Book Club)

-Recurring details: anything recurring that changes but doesn't necessarily impact the action (for instance, the renovation and maintenance being done to the Richmond locker room that Roy witnesses over the course of the month)

-The Thesis Statement: this is the BIG ONE for me and it's right at the top. With so many interwoven stories and Roy's journey of big mental health stuff being the big driving focus, I needed some way of making sure I was always moving the story forward for him, even in the chapters where he doesn't have a therapy session. So each chapter has an I-Statement for Roy that is a clear idea of where he's at that point in the chapter. Here's the one for chapter one:

"I am angry and miserable and lonely. I don't know how to show people I care. I don't want to fuck this up. I will change something"

They're not elegant - they're raw and simple and to the point. It helps me keep on task and make sure the chapter is hitting the right notes.

EDIT: realized I forgot to explain- the column headers are chapters.

are there any alternate-pov versions of scenes that live in your brain, like with Low Battery?

YES THERE ARE. The big big BIG one being Jamie's eventual trip to Manchester to visit his dad in rehab - a scene that I have honestly been considering writing just so I have a version of it in my head to reference when he's telling Roy about it. I already have some of it figured out and ooof. OOF I say.

Another one that I've been considering is Jamie and Ted's eventual Talk about what's been going on - both with Jamie and his dad, and with Jamie having finally finished reading The Beautiful & Damned. That one is tricky, because Roy isn't involved or around for that conversation at all, but he does speak to Ted immediately after.

A much smaller one that's recently crept into the running is Jamie's reaction to finally hearing from his dad for the first time, which is.....it's going to be very soon.

also, anything you want to talk about with the 5+1 falling asleep fic!

The big one there is that I SWEAR IT'S STILL IN PROGRESS. For a while there, I had time reconnecting with it, and I realized (this morning actually) that part of my issue was that I was struggling to reach that raw place that wrote most of it. Now that I've let it set a bit, I've recharged, and it's back on the writing block come new years!

From this ask game but specific questions only please!

[vmures]

Not so Brief thoughts on insult reclamation and identity

Bullying and "othering" (treating someone as if they are so different from oneself that they are alien or monsterous) are sadly very common responses to encountering people who are perceived as different. Often that bullying will even rise to systemic abuse of entire groups of people. But it can also be very horrific abuse on a smaller scale. Taunting, verbal abuse, physical attacks, death threats, attempted (and sadly sometimes accomplished) murder. I've seen people respond to bullying in a lot of ways and have experienced some of these responses myself. One method is to shun the words they throw at you while trying to show that you aren't like that and therefore shouldn't be targeted. Another is to reclaim slurs and work on healing from the trauma of bullying and becoming comfortable in your own skin. And there is a whole lot of mix and match and reactions in between these two responses.

I think most, if not all, of us who have been bullied have used the first tactic at times, especially the trying to make ourselves less of a target--masking neurodivergence, being careful about how we present ourselves in certain social settings, etc.

But some take this technique even farther. They decide that they must be a good example of whatever different subgroup they are in and that the bullies should really target those other people who are not good. This frequently involves internalized bigotry.

For example, there was a point where I had internalized fatphobia so much that I was determined to try to be a "good" fat person, trying to eat the right food and exercise to show that I was trying to not be fat. This led to an endless spiral of shame, confusion, and guilt because no matter what I did I didn't lose weight the way the personal trainers and nutritionists thought I would. Then I got really sick and dropped a lot of weight and was absolutely unhealthy during that time. I was miserable and in pain, but people sure did seem to like me more, which was super annoying.

Eventually, I got better and as I got better I gained weight back. I was still eating healthy foods and watching my sugar then, but the weight returned anyway. So I eventually embraced the fact that my body seems to be comfortable at a size 18 (US size, and the size I've been most of my later teen and adult years. Nowadays, I focus on trying to feel less pain and being able to move better and not worry so much about the number on the scale. And truth be told I'm a lot happier and healthier both physically and mentally after shifting the way I looked at myself and my weight.

One of the things that I eventually realized is that for all that fat was (and is) used as a slur and a weapon, it's really just a descriptor of body type. I am fat. That is not a bad thing. It doesn't make me monstrous or ugly. And these days if someone calls me fat, I look at them and say "yeah, and?!" Reclaiming that particular insult did wonders for me. And you know what, so did reclaiming "freak" (a very common insult thrown at neurodivergent folks and anyone different), "geek," "nerd," "dyke," "fag" (some confused Louisiana middle-schoolers didn't realize it was usually used for gay men), "gay," "homo," and "queer." All of these were slurs thrown at me alongside physical violence and threats. There was a time I tried very hard to pass as cis and straight, but I was fucking miserable. All of the things that made up who I was were fucking slurs used to hurt me. Eventually, I hit the fuck you point of my life and reclaimed every last one of those terms. I'm currently working on reclaiming lazy. Because rest is required for a healthy life, and US culture's focus on always being productive is beyond unhealthy.

Because yes, words can fucking hurt and scar you worse than some physical violence does. They haunt you and pick at you for years after you first hear them. But part of that has to do with how much power you give those words yourself. Because far too often the one trying to weaponize the word has broadened the actual definition.

So yeah, I'm a freak, a queer, a dyke, and fat. So what? None of those things are inherently bad and those who say they are are lying to you because they do not want to see you and would rather you did not exist. So they other you and try to make you ashamed to exist. Fuck them. You get to keep on existing anyway. And isn't that the best revenge? Living your life and finding happiness where you can? And yes, it is dangerous to live as your authentic self. But that's why solidarity is so important. There is safety in numbers. Build communities with your fellow freaks, queers, fat folks, etc. See and be seen. Let people know that you are here and you are not going anywhere. Stand together and stand strong.

[nicohischier]

get to know me

tagged by: @hischiersjohnston thank you bestie

didn't tag anyone* due to my chronic fear of being annoying but pls snoop all you like

do you make your bed? no, i'm simply way too lazy in the morning to make my bed.

favourite number? 8! i was born on 8/8 so i guess the number just stuck out to me lol

what’s your job? i'm currently in that super fun period of being recently graduated with no prospects, no experience, and no network. also a lot of anxiety. i'm working on it.

if you could go back to school, would you? yeah. i still might go back in a few years to do education or something.

can you parallel park? once upon a time i could, but now i don't drive (classic lack of car woes) so i'm pretty comfortable in saying i can't parallel park anymore.

do you think aliens are real? yes, absolutely. i'm not saying i believe that there's a whole civilized society hanging out a few billion light years away, but the category of aliens extends into every living life form, no matter how insentient or microscopic. the universe is simply too vast for me to even entertain the idea that earth is the only planet or other celestial body capable of sustaining plant life or single cell organism or whatnot.

can you drive a manual car? no! tbh at this point it's been so long since i've drove period, that idk if i'm even allowed to say i can drive an automatic lmao

guilty pleasure? i cannot deny that i have spent money on genshin to get characters/weapons and while i fully acknowledge that i've given into the gacha trap, i spend responsibly and never in excess. it's a game i genuinely love and i do believe that adults are free to spend their money wherever they wish. some people buy cigarettes, i buy little anime characters.

tattoos? world's saddest no. i would like to get some tho, i'm just generally the type of person who gets super invested in something for a while and then drops it after a while, which includes tattoo ideas. right now i'm flirting with the cassiopeia constellation (name of my favourite kpop groups fandom), "we don't need the memories" which is a team motto from haikyuu, line art of a cat because i'm a cat person, and some others with personal significance. and some more fandom ones. but fandom ones are finicky so. shrug.

favourite colour? i do dearly love the colour red. also a big fan of taupe, which is. probably the most boring answer i could give. "oh yeah my favourite colour? beige." god.

favourite type of music? to the surprise of hopefully none of you, i'm a kpop fan. i also really love whatever genre of music guys like alexander stewart and lewis capaldi make.

do you like puzzles? yes so much! i got so into a puzzle the other day that i was up until 5am doing it like i fr just didn't notice how long i was doing it 😭

any phobias? i used to have such a bad fear of spiders. now it's just big ones that freak me out or ones that are on me. i'm working on getting over it though. bugs in general make me feel a bit sick to me stomach tho i won't lie.

favourite childhood sport? i used to be a gymnastics kid lol. was super into pro gymnasts for a little bit, but generally it was a sport i preferred actually doing.

do you talk to yourself? yes and it's so embarrassing because i fucking do it in public without realizing. one day i was in the bookstore talking myself through choosing a book to buy when someone turned the corner and was like "oh! it's just you!". that was almost my 13th reason i am so fucking serious.

tea or coffee? tea if it's hot, coffee if it's cold.

first thing you wanted to be when growing up? wanted to be a vet soooo bad. then i grew up and realized how scary chemistry and biology are and figured maybe i would leave that to the science brained people 😭

what movies do you adore? well my letterboxd top movies are inception, les miserables, the outsiders, and the old guard which is. sorta accurate. the first three are definitely true. i could slot miracle (2004), brokeback mountain, legally blonde, kingsman, etc. into my fave movies list over TOG if i'm being honest but. yknow how it is.

tagging: @sportsnet tyler do this or else.

[youdonthavetocallmedarlinnn]

Growing up is so weird. Yes, I'm 35, and I still say I'm growing up. I feel like that's literally what life is, and when I say I aspire to be like someone I admire when I grow up, then that is literally what I mean. I'm growing up literally as I type this and it's kind of fucking amazing. I am always in search of ways to absorb as much as I can about the things I care about and I'm always trying to figure out how to break away from the coping mechanisms I learned when I was young because that's one of the biggest parts of growing up as an adult. I feel bad for the people who are always in a rush to have it all figured out right now.

I truly believe that life was never meant for us to get it all figured out right now. If you're 25 and upset you're not married with a white picket fence and 3 perfect symmetrical children or promoted to the high up position at a company you just started working at a year ago or anything else that you're doing to hide from the actual work everyone of us should be doing.

Stop trying to race to the end of the story. It's your story, and you're skipping ahead and missing the key moments in your life. Success is not measured by some fucked up belief that you're supposed to be best you can be right now. That leaves so little room for growth. This entire world came to be because of evolution and evolution is a painful and long process. Success isn't based on having it all right now. Success is based on whether or not you are choosing to evolve instead of saying, "That's just the way I am" or "This is how I was raised" or believing that being miserable is okay with you because you fear change.

Change is scary, but it's also exciting and completely necessary. We can all choose to leave old mentalities behind. We're allowed to change our minds about anything we choose, and we are most certainly allowed to continue to learn from our mistakes. If you're down on your luck or feel trapped in your own life, then you need to start asking yourselves the right questions. Instead of saying "why is this always happening to me" or "I guess I deserve this horrible thing that happened to me" or the worst of all: Believing that being an adult means you can't change a bad situation you're in or an ongoing negative cycle you continue to engage in because somewhere along the way society told you that being adult equalled being miserable and this is your lot in life then please hear me out. We all have the capacity to change our situations, our poor habits, and coping skills we only learned while engaging in survival mode. This is not some big huge moment that takes place, and poof all of the sudden, your life is everything you dreamed. Sorry, I wish it was, but change happens when and ONLY WHEN we decide we MUST change. Time will go on and one day you'll turn around and realize you're happy, or life is going really well, and all you had to do was realize the only person responsible for your experience is yourself.

Take responsibility for your own life, stop comparing it to all the other dicks on social media, and do something different. Your situation or whatever it is will eventually get better but not by some fake movie grand gesture. It's a culmination of a lot of really small moments that you can miss and rushing to the end of your story without gratitude for what you actually have in this life is not living. It's not engaging, and it's definitely not showing up to your own life. That is hurtful behavior to not only yourself but the people around you that count on you.

Do a deep dive, figure out your thing, consult experts or literature if needed, and start openly talking about the things that matter to you without apology .It's your story, and you have the power to choose the right ending for yourself.

[inkykeiji]

Do you think tomura is the same way as touya in a sense that he builds walls up when he begins to feel something for someone? In my head i picture it exactly like flawless tomu like just raw and in your face and blunt af, but I know tomura also went through trauma so maybe his way is more being obsessive right off the bat?

no, i don’t! because their trauma is different, right? touya builds walls because it’s ‘safer’ to keep from letting people in at all, because then they cannot hurt him or leave him or disregard him the way his father did if they can’t get close to him in the first place. touya was abandoned, thrown away, betrayed. he’s terrified of that happening again, of having to go through that HURT again, that he’d rather just keep people on the outside to avoid there being any chance at all that it could happen again—even if it means he’s lonely and miserable as a result. being lonely and miserable is better than being hurt.

tomura, on the other hand, absolutely has trauma but it’s a different type of trauma (depending on where we are in the series; falling in love with tomura before he knows all of the truth abt what afo did to him (aka right before he fucking dies) would be very different than falling in love with tomura after he learns about afo’s betrayal and manipulation).

canon tomura is secluded and sheltered, and he’s initially very entitled, childish, and bratty. he is not well socialized and he probably hasn’t been taught much about having and maintaining relationships (or even having a crush; he’s so inexperienced with PEOPLE as a whole). if it’s tomura who has a crush on you then yes, i think he’d be pretty much exactly like flawless tomu once he actually realizes what these feelings are—i think that, at first, these feelings would be so new and so unfamiliar that he wouldn’t really understand what’s even going on inside his chest, and he’ll either snap at you because you stir up these uncomfortable and scary feelings, or he’ll lean into them even more (and become kind of clingy) because he likes the feelings and you make him feel Good. i do think he would also be super obsessive fairly quickly as well (just as flawless tomura is!) because 1. he’s used to getting and owning whatever he wants whenever he wants it, and 2. you make him feel Good, so why would he ever let that go? ANYWAY HEHEHE these are just my personal thoughts n opinions (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)

[shoheiakagi]

I agree with you about the tags u left on that anon being rude to ciassu! Seriously thats just plain so fucking rude smh. Anyway u ended your tags with mention of shuhei x yata that op was going to write and it got me curious bc ive never thought of that pairing before lol so now im wondering if u have any other yata or shuhei ships u like/can think of? Sorry for the random ask i just want to see if theres any other ships i can add to my list other than chitose x yata lol

Hi!! Thank you for reaching out! And yeah, I feel like some ppl just like to send anon hate cause they’re bored? Like what is the end game here? You’re not gonna be the person with the last laugh cause your ask is either gonna be deleted or responded to in a post. And like, if you think there’s other writers who post the same type of fics, then why don’t you just focus on them? People need to realize that writing fics and drawing art is a skill, and that the creator puts in a lot of time and effort into perfecting it for the audience. I just don’t get why some ppl act mean online, when they don’t have that same persona irl?? Like why act like an internet thug??

Anyways!

Yes, I was also intrigued when I saw how op was working on a ShouheixYata fic! Like I know some bits and pieces of how they’d interact as friends, but as romantic partners? I’ve seen some EricxYata and and ChitosexYata, but never a ShouheixYata. I’m sooo curious cause Yata is terribly shy when it comes to romance, while Shouhei is charismatic and nicer than the other abc boys. Like is Shouhei going to be all flirty and try to charm him?? Does Yata develop a crush on Shouhei which he tries to hide but miserably fails at it??

And I do!! So to start off, I’ll be honest and say that I’m not really fond of romantic!banshou. Its weird cause i have other ships with similar dynamics, and i also adore both characters individually, but im not the biggest fan of them as a ship. I think its probably bc i dont like how its portrayed by the very few fans they have, and how a lot of things about shouhei, end up revolving around bandou’s inferiority complex towards him (which really sucks as a shouhei’s girl who wants to learn more about him).

But despite being in my y/n feels for shouhei, i do have a few ships for him! I don’t think it’s as obvious as it was when i first created this blog, but shouhei/eric is the closest to an otp i have for this fandom. Its probably bc theyre my top two faves, but i do think they have strong potential to be a sweet and interesting ship, and the few interactions they have are so cute 🥺 the fact that shouhei is the only person Eric refers to by their first name other than Anna 🥹🥹 (although i do think its probably cause everyone refers to shouhei by his first name lol. If im not wrong, i think eric refers to fuji by his last name despite being very close). I also do think they’d look really good together! Despite Eric being unkempt and not into fashion, he is objectively very good looking and i think his sharp and cool features are a good contrast against shouhei’s softer and warm features. I genuinely do think shouhei is the second person eric is comfortable with, after fujishima. I also ship shouhei with chitose and akiyama! I think i started shipping shouhei with chitose sometime last year and honestly? I think they’d be a fun and hot pair. I can’t really see them being them in a serious and committed relationship, but i do think they would probably hook up here and there (or even just be really good friends, since theyre pretty similar to each other except for some differences). Akiyama/Shouhei is always going to be that one opposites attract/enemies to lovers ship for me lol. I wish their fight scenes from s1 were longer, im so curious on what the dialogue would have been like.

Yata was my first ever fave character/crush when i first got into K back in 2012, but unfortunately that died out. But i do think ericxyata is such a cute and funny pair! I remember reading this really old fic on them in which yata learns english just so he can finally respond to eric’s taunts, only to have the story end with eric kissing him on the cheek 💞 i don’t remember being sold that quick on a ship like i did with that fic lmaoo. They’re like my second favorite pair, but theres sooooo little content on them :/ thats what i hate about k. Most content are on the popular/designated ships, you barely see anything on different pairings/dynamics. Yata and Kamamoto are seen as platonic for the most part, but i can see some potential for it to turn romantic! Kamamoto is a ride and die for yata. Like if theres ever a rare chance that yata decides to leave homra (unlikely, i know), i do feel like kamamoto would probably join him idk. the loyalty there is really strong. I think yata and chitose would be interesting since chitose is a playboy while yata is a virgin, but its probably gonna end with a nasty heartbreak on both sides 😬

[ultfreakme]

Something I realized is that gege akutami doesn't create many punishments for ''bad'' characters other than death. I think an interesting punishment for the geto character was to create a binding vow in which he was obliged to save humans and never harm them I would have liked to have seen him save those he hates and abhors most.

Hmm.....I think trying to think of JJK as a story that punishes the "bad" is very limiting in understanding arcs for these characters and overall theme. JJK isn't written to punish the bad guys, but I think to highlight different ideologies. One thing that's represented by our villains is the horrendous work culture and rampant reduction in mental wellness in our society- this is shown very clearly through curses. So if curses(who are often the villains) represent the real-world issue of toxic work culture, lack of access to proper mental health facilities, and a billion other things that cause suffering to humans, you can't just punch/punish a curse because you cannot punish the very real issue of systematic injustice like that.

The bad guys don't get 'punished' the way you're describing because in reality that's not possible. You cannot punish a volcano for erupting (Jogo), you cannot control, or create a manner for the way humans hate each other, to be punished(Mahito). If you've noticed, even death doesn't stop the influence our villains have on the story.

The curses that are killed are supposed to come back and take new form. You cannot control such large concepts like depression, tsunamis, climate change, disease, and punish those things. Therefore, you cannot punish the JJK villains in such a planned manner.

Now Geto isn't a curse right? So yes he could be shackled and made to save the people he hates but what's the point? Geto is a character who turned out the way he did BECAUSE he was basically being forced to neglect his own well-being to serve the higher ups and save those he hates. Doing so would only prove Geto right.

Punishment like this is pointless in my opinion. Rehabilitation through communication can help, reaching out can help. Shackling him will just make him hate everyone more and do we really want that? Do we want Geto, miserable and festering in resentment, forced to consume the worst of humanity, to save them? That's how we got to genocidal Geto in the first place.

What is the purpose of punishment? Vindication? Rehabilitation? Inflicting pain? The type of punishment that the villains suffer will have implications for what the moral of the story is.

Yuuji trying to kill Mahito means something, it means even more that he is portrayed as a wolf hunting a rabbit. A predator/prey relationship indicates necessity. Yuuji has no plans of punishing Mahito beyond death and he even tells him he'll keep killing him. Yuuji here represents faith in humanity, Mahito represents human hatred. Thus, Yuuji's mission to kill Mahito means essentially the triumph of human will and love over hatred. Each kill means something too.

In-story, Geto's actually respected by all of his living classmates, even NANAMI respects him (the man openly has no respect for Gojo). He represent rebellion against the system. Thematically, he opposes the destructive nature of sorcerer society. Trapping the character meant to represent the ways in which people are failed by sorcerers and suffer by curses is....not a good look.

So yeah, kills are more frequent than extended punishment. I mean it's hard to sympathize anyways if our MCs are going imprison people. Like isn't that kinda fucked up? Geto's a sympathetic character. What does it mean for Gojo if he traps his best friend to do the bidding of the people they both hate?

[subbybunnyboo]

i feel like this is something i can’t post in my channel with friends, but i need to vent

well, if i had made this post two or even one month ago i would have written ‘i fucked up’ as i said i hoped i wouldn’t in my “goodbye post”

but times go by and you start realizing that you were fucking abused and i’m not talking about physical/sexual harm and i havent been degraded (i mean only when i wanted to if you remember thematics of my blog). STRAIGHTLY. now i know what gaslight is first-hand.

i dont want to tell the full story here, just imagine situation when you have to overthink and rethink your every phrase several times before saying it with your partner. or feeling such a miserable person you have to visit therapists and stopping yourself from jumping under the train from thinking that you are a burden. i mean, yes, many people (sadly) experience this, BUT IMAGINE it all disappears right after you break up.

you feel like absolute shit and cry all the time, but when ‘should i kill myself?’-thought crosses your mind it doesnt stay even for a second. like, nah, i dont want to. i dont need to work on this, i just dont think that way

we broke up two months ago and i still feel broken. i tried to meet new people and they do like me and in two days they may treat me better than my ex in 5 months… but i just cant feel anything. they can be hell of a gentleman, get me flowers and coffee, shower me with kind words and we can have a great funny convo about lots of our common interests. but i come home and remember our first ‘date’ and cry. and i dont even cry like CRY, i just try to fall asleep while tears are going down my face. and we talk, meet again. but i feel nothing like i used to.

and i just saw a reels (99% of my feed actually) with a biker, but it was a special one for an unknown reason. i felt summer air. and felt how i want short nights, ‘white’ nights of petersburg, green, motorcycles on streets. and i miss..maybe what pops up in my mind a lot.. when it was “well i wanted to meet with you and i still do, so if you want it too…” “i do” “then what?” “finish your uni task, i’m ordering you a taxi” after he fell asleep when we were supposed to meet and not “what time should i come over?” *no respond* “i wont” “okay” and then blaming me in making scenes and saying “instead of this we could have a talk in discord, or you could be here and play with my dog or we could watch something, but no, you preferred making drama” when i did not make any. well, instead of acting like a jerk for whom i dont exist as well as my feelings, YOU could invite me for real, show me that you wanted me there or offer talking in disco.

no, i was guilty for everything. when this person was guilty - it was my fault. every single time

its just such a person. i dont know if all he has done was on purpose or not. i am not sure if i want to know. but he is probably too smart not to know what exactly he was doing

there is no single day i dont think about him and in my mind i just cant let him go. all that feeling like he is one of a kind. and connection. unhealthy, but connection

there is no abuse without good moments. and such moments make you think maybe if you did something slightly different… if you swallowed such treatment that time… understood him better this time…. but then you open your chat and read how he treats you like literal SHIT and it just hits you hard like a truck

i am deeply hurt. i am a person you should not meet and fall in love with right now. right now i can cause only pain, but im not a sick sadist, i dont enjoy it. but i understood i need to give myself time to heal. not to try meeting new people that would replace him. and for sure not to try to get him back. however, i dont know jf i will follow these words. hopefully.

and when i get free from this, i will meet my dream motorcyclist husband-material. maybe gym rat. maybe scott pilgrim type of nerd. hopefully somebody… kinder. more empathetic. and mature for relationship.

peace

[crimeboys]

relationship scramble?

this one’s basically a fleabag au with wilbur playing the role of fleabag. he and his best friend niki ran a bakery but like. six years prior wilbur left to try and become a politician and failed. badly. and ended up coming back but niki was already gone by then, tired of waiting for wilbur to come back bc he promised he would, at least to visit, but he got stuck in his own mind blah blah blah. she now works as like a campaign speech writer/consultant and wilbur is miserable and alone working at a bakery (his ass cannot bake) and has like no fucking money.

this also got too long so under the cut

the story starts at like a family lunch type deal. phil is in town for the first time in a while, he’s been traveling with his wife, kristin, who wilbur does not know that well and so does not fully trust. tubbo (wilbur's brother) and ranboo (tubbo's husband) are there as well, and technoblade (phil’s business partner/best friend who now 90% takes care of the company bc phil’s away), sally (wilbur’s ex-wife who he got pregnant at 16, subsequently had a baby with, and then they realized they were much better off friends but unfortunately they’d already had the marriage, the baby, and all of the subsequent disappointments. so they don’t really talk anymore. except for at family events or when wilbur is really, really drunk), fundy (wilbur’s 18 year old son wilbur hasn’t directly spoken to since wilbur tried to kill himself), and dream who is there as wilbur’s date but has been ignoring him to talk to technoblade. oh also michael is probably eating paste in the other room or something.

and a lot of shit happens but namely dream dumps wilbur for like the 100th time and tubbo offers wilbur money to keep his bakery afloat and wilbur lies to phil so so much and literally everyone knows he's lying except for phil.

the fic is crimeboys centric bc of who i am as a person and it’s basically like. tommy comes barging in demanding a job and wilbur at first is like “fuck no” but actually i’ll just post the scene keep in mind it's not edited blah blah blah

—-

“No, we’re not a new restaurant,” Wilbur says into the phone. Most calls are people asking that same question because of the name, Name Pending, that Wilbur and Niki thought was fucking hilarious six years ago. Now, Wilbur wants to ring their quirky little necks. “The name is just an inside joke. Yes, we’re open. Until 6pm. Because we’re a bakery, sir.”

The bell rings as the door opens. Wilbur doesn’t really need the bell because he can see with 100% clarity when people come in, but he and Niki thought it would add that touch of authenticity. As the customer continues to rant about wanting cookies at 7pm, a grimy-looking man walks in. Well, his skin isn’t grimy but his clothes are. Wilbur wonders how one can conceivably get that many stains on a shirt.

Wilbur hangs up the phone despite the customer still speaking and says, “Welcome in. What can I get for you today?”

“A job,” the man says. “If you’ve got one, I need a job. Badly.” Wilbur can afford to keep this place running maybe two months more.

“Well, I’m sorry but you’d probably have better luck-”

“No!” The man shouts, and Wilbur straightens up a bit in his shock. “No, no, no because that's what the lady at the supermarket said.”

“You got rejected by the lady at the supermarket?” They’ve got terrible turnover there. And thieves. This guy’s resume must be shit.

“Yeah, then I went to the bookstore, then the arcade, then the fucking thrift. All of them said, you’ll have better luck down the street!”

“Well,” Wilbur says with a shrug. “London.”

“Oh, fuck London.” Wilbur agrees. “Look, I really just- I just need a job, alright?”

“Yes, but I haven’t got one to give you.”

“Why not?”

“Well, I just prefer to work alone.” A lie. Wilbur misses the loud mornings of baking and music, crooning and dancing with Niki as they laughed, Wilbur always stealing at least one cookie per batch. Mornings with himself are loud in the bad way.

“Okay. I prefer having a job, personally,” the man slaps a paper on the counter. Wilbur bends over to skim it. Oh, nevermind, there are hardly 20 words. It would be hard to skim any more than that.

RESUME:

Name: Tommy Innit Prior Job: ONLY Man Ever Expected Pay: 200 dollars per hour

“Right,” Wilbur says. He folds his hands on the counter. “I’m not giving you 200 dollars an hour.”

“We can negotiate. 199.99 isn’t terrible.”

“You ever heard of minimum wage?”

“Ever heard of knowing your worth?” Wilbur’s eye twitches.

“What could you even bring to the table? You have any skills? Anything that would amount to earning 200 dollars an hour?” Tommy squints, like this question has never occurred to him.

“Work.”

“But what can you do?”

“Work.”

“If you can’t even answer a simple question-”

“Just tell me what to do, I’ll do it! I don’t care what it is.”

“Have you ever baked? Have you ever cleaned?” 

“I can figure it out!”

“Sorry, was that a no on the cleaning thing?” Looking at Tommy’s clothes, Wilbur would wager so.

“Just give me a chance!” Wilbur is not at the fucking place he can just give people chances right now. He’s going out of business, he just got dumped by Dream for the upteenth fucking time, and his little brother had the audacity to offer him money not 24 hours ago. He does not want to garner another fucking loss.

“Why won’t anyone hire you?” Tommy groans.

“Fuck’s it matter?”

“Color me curious.”

“Fuckin’- not a lot of places take ex-cons.” Well, that’s certainly something. That should probably make Wilbur’s choice even easier. But Tommy looks determined, Wilbur might be a little manic right now, and he’s tired of eating burnt fucking cinnamon rolls.

“Make a cookie and I’ll think about it.” Tommy blinks.

“What, seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“Like, right now?”

“You got any other job interviews?” Wilbur points a thumb to the actual kitchen. “Have at.” 

---

here are my notes for some of the relationships in this fic i didnt touch on too heavy uhh

quackity is a political consultant that wilbur has a very aggravating situationship with ← they just meet up a couple times a month to get drinks and piss each other off and then not have sex. this is both incredibly frustrating and also definitely part of it for both of them.

dream is wilbur’s “mutually beneficial” kind-of ex. when wilbur feels like he’s spiraling out of control, he tends to gravitate toward dream who is fine with it because he’s obsessed with control and also technoblade who he gets to hang out with if he’s “dating” wilbur. literally no one is actually sure whether they’re actually together when they’re going out but that’s fine, wilbur would die if he put any sort of label on any of his relationships, plus their trysts don’t last long and they have actually never been physically in a room alone together.

tubbo is wilbur's little brother who is married to ranboo and they have a kid, michael, and wilbur spends a lot of time being just a little bit bitter that his little brother is more successful than him but also tubbo is kind of erm. miserable he hates being a stay at home dad (he loves his son, he loves his husband, he misses Doing Things and shit) and the walls of his home feel more like a box and yeah. also tubbo offers wilbur money like right at the beginning of the story bc it’s Obvious the bakery is about to go under and wilbur is mad about that bc well. issues.