#and like i never drink tea but ive been drinking it more because i know thats what my parents do at home

[inkybinkyboink]

living on ur own is weird.

[firelordsfirelady]

IV. Outburst

Author: @firelordsfirelady

Imagine: When Y/N—a princess of one of the Water Tribes—is told she’s leaving her tribe, she never expects that she’s to be betrothed to the Fire Lord’s son, nor was she prepared to be exiled the very day she arrived at the Fire Nation. With her life in the hands of her new fiancée, how will life change for the princess? 

Pairing: Zuko x F!Reader

Trigger warnings: arranged marriage, feelings of fear, banishment, mentions of burns/abuse, frustration, violence, betrayal

Word Count: 1167

Destined to be Yin and Yang

I own no rights to Avatar the Last Airbender or any of the characters/story.

Author’s Notes

The characters as all aged up so Zuko’s banishment happens when he’s 16 

Keep in mind I am bringing a unique world with inspiration from ATLA in their characters, some of the events that happen, bending, etc. Not many things may align or occur with what happened in the show. It’s intended that way, so I hope you enjoy it regardless.

See Y/N’s inspiration here. 

Destined to be Yin and Yang Soundtrack (YouTube)

Zuko made no mention of the cookies the next morning, but I anticipated as much from the Prince. The crew, however, raved about my cookies and were quite happy to hear that I would make them plenty of cookies during our time together. I kept my promise because every full moon I would make the crew a batch of cookies and then practice my water bending on the deck before heading to bed. Of course, I never let Zuko or Iroh be out of the cookie receiving as I would deliver their plates before going to bed. 

Thus began my new daily routine of lending a hand in the kitchen or helping with the dishes. I often found myself aiding in other chores around the ship, which only served to aggravate Zuko more. Zuko always made sure to make remarks about how informal of a princess I was, so I made it my mission to find ways to annoy the Prince further. Let’s just say that I was very good at it. 

The first time Zuko saw me mopping the deck, he made a snide comment that earned him an accidental flick of some water from the mop bucket. 

“Forgive me, Prince Zuko,” I had teased him that day. “I am merely just a princess who doesn’t know how to handle the mop.” Iroh hid his small chuckle at my comment, knowing all too well that I was more than capable of handling the simple mop. I think he found it mildly amusing that I teased the Prince often, and this served to agitate the Fire Lord’s son further.

Despite the banter from Zuko,  I had grown to enjoy life traveling around on a ship. As a young girl, I had dreamed of what it would be like to see the world outside of the Tribe, but I quickly realized that as the princess I would never have those opportunities. Especially since after the Avatar disappeared from the world a century ago, the nations decided to sequester away from each other to protect themselves.

With Zuko on the quest to find the Avatar, he has been researching the previous avatars. We have been to several Avatar shrines across the nations and have been frequenting the other Water Tribes. Zuko was sure that the next avatar would be a Waterbender, and so we stayed near in case the Avatar made his appearance. Each time Zuko got a hint or a tip that there was a chance of the Avatar appearing, the ship would speed to the new destination. Disappointment met Zuko at every new stop, and I felt my heart break more as I watched the hope slowly die from his eyes. Yet, at the next whisper of a sign from the Avatar, Zuko would begin the cycle all over again.

The months slowly turned into years, and Iroh and I met regularly to drink tea together. During our tea visits, Iroh would tell me stories of dragons and the origin stories of Firebending, and, in return, I shared the stories of the Water Nation and our origin. I enjoyed listening to Iroh’s great accomplishments and was glad that I had found a friend in Iroh.

While my friendship with Iroh grew, I could not say the same about my relationship with Zuko. Three years of the same routine with Zuko had begun to wear the hope in me down. I tried my best to make an effort with Zuko in hopes that we might be able to at least tolerate each other. I gave him cookies every full moon, and I offered information that I read at the shrines regarding the avatar that might help Zuko. I did get a small glimmer of hope when he stopped calling me an informal princess after the first six months of life on the ship. After two years, there was light banter between us that was somewhat jovial, but the banter was more teasing than anything else.

That all changed today when Zuko had met another dead end in his search for the Avatar. Once we arrived back at the boat, Zuko’s anger was palpable as he stalked on to the deck. Iroh’s face was a look of concern as he watched Zuko clench and unclench his fists. I chewed my bottom lip as I slowly walked onto the deck behind Iroh, who shared a concerned look with me. My heart increased its pace in my chest as I opened my mouth to say something to the Prince.

“Zuko—“ I started, but Zuko whipped around on his heel and his golden eyes were bright with rage.

“You don’t get the right to call me Zuko.” He snapped in anger. “You’re a good-for-nothing princess who doesn’t understand her place.” My breath hitched as I prepared myself for whatever else he was about to say. “I can understand why my father wants me to find the Avatar, but I can’t begin to wrap my head around why the hell he wants me to marry you.”

“You’re prancing around this ship like it’s a vacation home. Cooking with the crew, cleaning the decks, and not to mention you’re waterbending during the full moon.“ Keeping my face straight, I felt hurt cloud my heart as Zuko spoke his next words with so much hate. “You make cookies to compensate for what you lack as a person. You’re a pathetic excuse for a princess, and I hate that you’re my betrothed.”

Zuko was breathing heavily as he finished his rant, and I swallowed the lump in my throat in a pathetic excuse to calm the tears forming in my eyes. Silence fell upon the entire boat as I composed myself. Part of me wanted to scream at him that he wasn’t the only one suffering here. A tiny part of me wanted to wrap him in a cocoon of ice and then walk away. Another part of me wanted to hug him because I could see he was frustrated, and I was the only person who he was set on taking his anger upon.

I did none of those things as I shook my head and walked away. His words cut me deep, but I refused to let him see the tears that silently fell from my eyes as I made haste to my bedroom. Once behind the security of the closed door, I let the tsunami wave of tears flow as I cried into my pillow.

After a few hours of crying, I lay in bed and I stared at the ceiling. My eyes were no doubt red and puffy from the amount of crying I had done. Though my eyes burned, I could not tempt my body into a thoughtless slumber. So, instead of sleeping, I got up from bed and lit the oil lamp on my desk. I grabbed some blank pieces of paper and a pencil then began doing the one thing that would distract me the most right now: draw.

Tag List @chevysstuffs @puttyly @ginger24880 @night-fall-moon @hypnoticbeing

[joonipertree]

idea for the Boxer!Katsuki and Artist!Reader AU! What if, ON TOP OF a rly bad day w college and being overwhelmed w work, we lost our paints :( n we luv our paints so we cry, but katsuki’s there to make us feel better and get us a new set :3

Thank you so fucking much for this. Idk if you knew but I'm actually making a portfolio for art school and Ive been crying every other night because of how stressed I am and how much I feel like I'm a bad artist. So writing this was cathartic

Part 1, Part 2

Tags: Dom/sub undertones, reader acting out and Bakugo being stern, a peak of what kind of shit I want with older men hsjsjsj, fluff, hurt/comfort, soft katsuki

Katsuki was one of the last people you wanted to see when you're in a bad mood. And that might sound terrible but it's because you never wanted to show such a harsh, negative side of yourself to someone you cared about. You were very much a 'feel and then reappear more regulated' type of person. But Katsuki never let you go home on your own anymore, picking you and dropping you off even on days where he had something to do.

So you trotted towards him with a scowl and no energy to fake anything and he noticed instantly, his own concerned scowl mirroring yours.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." You said and opened the door, closing it a bit too loudly. You cringed at the sound but buckled yourself in and turned away before the man got in the driver's seat.

"You're shit at lying."

"Fuck off."

Instant regret, a deep inhale from your part as you tensed.

Fuck.

His large hand came on your thigh and you stiffened, all he did was give it a warning squeeze before pulling away. The message was clear. 'Watch it'.

"I'm not willing to discipline you until I know nothing horrible happened but you do know I don't like that shit from you right?"

You said nothing.

"Give me an answer, doll."

"I'm an adult."

"Yeah, you are. And you're a smart one that knows that we have rules. That I'd be taking you over my lap if you talked like that."

Tears pricked your eyes but you blinked them away, not willing to turn your head to show him.

He knew anyways and he dropped the subject, starting the car and driving off.

Katsuki pulled to a stop at a place that wasn't anywhere near your apartment. You were confused as he got out of the car. Your eyes followed him just as he entered a boba shop.

Oh.

A couple minutes later, he came out with a drink for each of you. You remembered when he said that there just wasn't any point of it, that it seemed stupid and too sweet. But pretty soon, he had his own usual order, which was just Brown Sugar boba tea with the sweetness to a minimum.

Katsuki gave you the drink without even looking your way, sipping on his own. You stared at it for a total of ten seconds before timidly taking a sip. The sweetness broke you out of your sour mood, eyes blinking as you focused on the flavour of your favourite tea. The boba was chewy and soft and it grounded you a bit.

Only after you took a sip, did Katsuki start the car and drive.

When you reached home, the apartment the two of you had started sharing a month prior, Katsuki only gave you time to take off your shoes and put down your bag before he had you over his shoulder.

You struggled, hitting his back and asking him to let you go but he didn't listen...not even feeling it.

And when your ass plopped itself onto the couch, your attempt at running away failed when he easily manhandled you in place.

"I'm not patient enough to coax it out of you, so tell me why you're upset. I'll make it better."

You wanted to refuse but the tears were already dripping down your face.

"I'm so bad at art. I'm so f-fucking bad at it. I don't-" you sobbed and his arms were instantly around you, pulling you onto his lap as you cried into him.

"There's so many deadlines and so many things I have to do and nothing is working. And I don't even know if I'm cut out to be an artist. I'm not good enough, I was never good enough for it. I'm gonna fail-- Katsuki I'm so tired."

Your boyfriend rocked you back and forth, giving you kisses everywhere he could reach, on the side of your face and your head and your hair. And you let the tears fall, hiccuping violently and sobbing without restraint.

"I even lost my fucking paints and I can't live without them and I saved up for them and I'm just doing everything wrong."

You let Katsuki envelope you, squeeze you and warm your inside as you let it all out.

When your sobs died down, Katsuki didn't stop peppering kisses everywhere. It took him a second to speak.

"I didn't know shit about art. It all seemed like fancy, time consuming pictures to me. Hell, even now I don't know shit. But when I saw your art, I felt stuff I thought I didn't know how to feel. And that was the first time I realised that maybe life didn't have to be as shitty as it was. Maybe things didn't have to be ugly."

"When we went to those art galleries, yeah they were cool and pretty but not gonna lie, nothing ever left me speechless like your art did. And yeah...I'm biased as fuck, especially because I thought that the look in your eyes was the prettiest out of everything. That sounds cheesy as shit but you make me feel cheesy as shit."

You had stopped crying, left drained and nuzzled against Katsuki while you looked for an anchor to hold onto. And he held you.

"I like seeing you paint the most though, I like how you focus...I like how you curse under your breath, I like how you grin when something looks right, I like how you scan art supplies before you buy them. I like your paint stained hands and your paint water mugs even when I've accidently taken a sip from them. I like that how you laugh when I do that shit. I love that look of pride you have when you're done and staring at it.

It makes you happy so even if I don't understand the point of it, it means a lot to me because of that. So, whenever that thing stops being fun for you, and really stops being fun for you, I'll support you if you wanna stop. But I gotta keep seeing your work, baby, cuz it's like the inside of your head and it's really neat."

You let a few more tears drop, sniffling and looking into his eyes. There was no ingenuity, only pure emotion. And you let him kiss your tears away, you let him pat your head and you let him make you drink water and feed you.

Because it was never a burden for him to do those things, but a priveledge.

The very next day, the same set of paints were in your bag. Brand new and untouched. Along with three different watercolour paper books. 100% pure cotton, 350 gcm.

With a note that said 'you're still down for a spanking for that shitty mouth of yours. Don't make it a habit.'

[smilepilled]

a compilation of love letters (/community, familial, friendly, fellowship, etc.) from me, marcela, to many different people who have had a positive impact on me. please take your time to find your own blog, and please have a lovely day. i may update this throughout time, so keep an eye out for your blog handle here!

will not be in any particular order. ❤️‍🩹

BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE KEEP IN MIND — I MAY NOT FULLY BE ABLE TO CORRELATE YOUR BLOG AND YOUR DISCORD ACCOUNT! that's a skill issue from me, and it doesnt mean i dont care-- its just extremely hard for me, personally. ive been trying to get better at it, but i hope my messages still manage to be something nice even if i didnt manage to link your blog to your personal discord presence. sorry, and thank you ♡

@radiomogai — 🎙📻📡🧮

i think not enough people say this, but you're a very important figure in the mogai community. your disclaimers and warnings to the masses that lurk through many tags and blogs are not only heard, but cherished. i remember being intimidated by you up until actually interacting with you, and youre a joy to be around. i still laugh at the time i made the christmas picture and added you as an actual radio; you are remembered fondly. i greatly appreciate your presence in this community beyond the archival, because you yourself are great. as in, a lovely company, a dear friend. i have so much i owe to you way above the themes or archival, but you also do a great job with your archive. i greatly respect you, and feel happy in your presence. thank you for being here, seriously. i hope i get the chance to do more to help you out whenever you need it. you're the one of the most patient and gentle people ive seen in this community, and its almost shocking with how people test patiences all around. thank you

@rwuffles — 🟩🟦🟥🟪🟨

mogaiblr jesus... indeed! you make such lovely things and you genuinely terrify me when i see that your queue is still at 400 after a bajillion posts (positively terrific). aside feom that, you are genuinely such a ray of sunshine, watching you play tetris leaves me in awe and the moments ive shared with you are very cherished to me. i like talking to you and youre incredibly kind, despite people testing you and The Horrors. i hope i can get to talk to you more, so i can properly get to communicate how cool you are to you, directly. your presence is strong and felt throughout the entirety of the spaces you're in; but don't forget, you're not a president or a professional, you're one of your fellows. should you ever need help or time to breathe, im sure your community will have your back-- i can definitely say i do. please be kind to yourself, and please take care. youre genuinely precious to be around and im sure a plethora of people agree. you are the little golden critter amongst us, and i feel like maybe sometimes you may not feel like it-- dont worry, we will always be here to remind you. youre the sun where your community basks and dances, and you're here with us too! thank you

@scr-ppup — 🪖🌫💣🥽

i genuinely love the stuff you cole up with, and the kindness that you extend to people-- the one of which youve also extended to me. maybe its a silly thing to mention, but youve helped me a lot in times where i couldnt even do a simple little descriprion for a flag. and it means a lot to me, regardless of how small this gesture may be to other people. you are genuinely so comforting to be around, i know i may be wrong but i feel like i have a huge bodyguard behind me chatting and drinking tea when im near you. i really like seeing you interact with people and im always happy to interact with you, even if it happens not so often. your creations never cease to amaze me and theres times where i squeal seeing something you make. you are truly one of the most badass, yet kindest people here. i mean it. thank you

@gender-mailman — ❤️‍🩹💌🩸🔪

you were one of the first people i had courage to interact with in mogaiblr, if i remember correctly-- back when i was themed as a velvet worm. your blog and presence SCREAMED friendliness (and BPD), and i just felt really reassured in it. regardless of your scrumptious creations (pallettes and symbols 🤌), you're such a ball of energy and you're so silly, and of course, extremely easy to talk to. it really makes me smile remembering when i was afraid to ask about when i should join the Evil Mogai Business, worried it'd be phrased poorly, and you just said that you did exactly what i was planning-- it was such a relief. despite the lack of recent "bug talking to you" activities, i want to thank you for the comfort youve brought to me, and the kindness youve shown whenever i talked to you. you're one of the most passionate and easily-talkable folks i know, bonus points for you being brazilian. thank you

@lovesse — 💥🎀💄💗

you are THE "popular IT girl" figure in this community, to me (unsure if you're a girl, im going purely from vibes though). as in, i've looked up to you since the very beggining. your presence is strong and assuring, and your creations are the fucking peak of this realm. some of your terms resonated so well with me that i wondered where the cameras were (jokingly of course). but aside from that, you've always been a very positive figure to me, and i'm always very happy seeing activity from you. i know you've been through a lot in this community, and i hope you don't mind bringing your presence in it up, but you've done so much for it and i need people to acknowledge it. we don't know eachother very well, and we haven't talked much outside of tumblr evil business, but your presence makes me glad. thank you for always being such a great lighthouse for the seadwellers in this community. youre a greatly inspirational figure and you are charm-maxxing (/platonic, "girl you rock!" coded?). thank you

@laughdiamond — 🌻🌿🌾🌱

you!!!! youuuu started ALL of my curiosity or this community. if i had someone to thank for making me deep-dive into goodfaith, mogai and community, its you. your blog was the first i found after the times i lurked in pinterest for the time i hoarded xenogenders and microlabels-- a linked post, and i found my way to your blog. the yaoyao conductor theme, extremely eyecandy-ful, i remember getting sparkly eyed at your blog and creations. i think i know a good amount of them from memory (but its always difficult to remmeber the names, thats my skill issue whatsoever), which goes to shoe just how much of an impact your presence around these parts had. and im not trying to be parasocial, you genuinely did help me, eye-to-eye telling you this. im sorry i never properly expressed to you my appreciation, up until it was far too late (seen as youve left this place, with rightful motive). you're always gonna be a fond memory to me, you're the nostalgia blog of this community for me. i full-heartedly thank you to no end for what your blog has done to help me, regardless of being < the blog that got me into mogaiblr >. dont ever apologize for it, either, i knoe theres negative aspects to this space but YOU are a part of the good aspects. once again, thank you for your lovely creations, thank you for what youve done for me, and thank you for your presence in times before. thank you

@lunentity — ✨️🔮🌙🪩

YOU! the moon in its mystique magnificence, giving terms to people like meteors with fun gifts from the cosmos. you are such an ICON to me, genuinely such a huge inspiration as well. talking to you is also never scary or the like, youre such a kind and easy-going person. surely im not the closest to you, but it doesn't take away from what i say, you are extremely easy to be around, and thats something i really appreciate. im always happy to tag you in a post with the moon mentioned, or something that i see and go "OH! MOONY WOULD LOVE THIS!" on the spot. you are extremely kind and sweet, like a cold day when youre wrapped in 4 heavy blankets playing animal jam with a bag of snacks and soda. your presence is felt in what is reassuring and friendly. i have not checked up on you lately, but i hope you're okay, and all is well for you. you're such a kind and heart-warming person, i am grateful for our interactions and convos. thank you

@kiruliom — 🧸🌸🌊🩸

we may not interact a whole lot, but YOU are so whimsical. no, seriously, you are so joyful its astonishing. and you always manage to keep your cheermaxxed status despite speaking up on multiple important topics, which i find very balance pilled and awesome. youre not scary despite your ghostface motifs, and i think youre like a uncle/aunt figure (whichever word you personally would use), a kind of distant yet kindly relative in the eyes of the liomogai community; which i also strive to be, so its nice to see YOU recreate it so well. we havent talked (much?) personally, so i think this is more how i view you currently havent spoken not to you in personal. you remind me of the animal jam Crystal Sands OST, and thats one of the biggest compliments i can give-- its very directly related to you being comforting, so i hope you know your presence is very welcoming. your terms are a CHEF'S KISS to me, and i feel very happy whenever you post. i think

@buntress — 🐇🧨🔪🔗

i look up to you like an autistic little thing staring up with HUGE bug eyes. i am to this day so sorry and apolocheeseful for the pride star incident, but i know youve since understood that i made a mistake and youre chill about it. i LOVE your terms, and i swallow your posts without chewing on them like a sucuri giant brazilian snake. genuinely feel very happy when i see a post from you, or when interaction occurs. youre so so cool and kick-ass to me, youre like the big sibling that i see being punk rock and cheer on. i dont even know if youre older than me, probably so, but regardless youre SUPER cool. like the punk rock hare of the punk rock club. despitw that, you're super kind and nice to talk to, and i want to make sure i get some more interaction action (/caseoh phrase) with you, because you're genuinely super friend coded. im sorry i didnt say much, but i hope its enough to at least make you smile, you definitely deserve it. thank you

@the-astropaws — 🥀🪶♥️🧸

prepare for trouble, and make it double... to the two QUEERS running this blog, you two are too kind to be real sometimes. i genuinely love the stuff made around these parts (the blog), and how you speak up about issues in the community with eloquence and well-put wording. i appreciate this blog and the two persons behind it; you two are super swell to be around. i still remember the purple theme and it makes me happy to remember that i remember the theme, becahse it means you two made your way into my head properly. thank you for your presence so much, its so stress-free to send an ask or talk to you, and i know we may not have interacted a whole lot but i appreciate your presences greatly. thank you so so so much for being around, and for your gentle words. thank you

@rabidbatboy — 🪰🩸🦴⛓️

alright... who's SLURRING it up around here? okay, anyways, your posts and creations have given me so much closure and happiness. and thats that. your roachgirl, muttgirl, roachdyke and gay flags are so good it makes me want to recite popular tiktok phrases like "DROP ANOTHER COINING POST, AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!!!!!" or the like. your presence is INCREDIBLY strong and felt whenever you're around-- i can easily, immediately go "oh thats the fightclub guy! thats the uncledyke! ohhhh thats the punk ass dude from tumblr! oh hell yeah!" when i see you talking. and despite the fact you are a very strong figure, you're ironically really easy to talk to! i actually used to be very intimidated by and < Oh My God You Can Actually Kill Me If You Decide To Do So Please Spare This Bug> towards you, but noe you're just... fellow uncle. fellow dudebro. i feel very happy whenever i see you because it means youre out there rawdogging life, and that means i've got a chance too. i love your fight club references and your entire vibe, you are very positively what i can describe as "the type of person that makes me want to get competitive". but even with that, youre incredibly patient and generous (despite how people test your patience). thank you

@nqvo — 🦢🪞🌫🪷

my nephew. my sweet nephew. oh you absolute struggler, you NEED to make more terms that people will love instead of assets that people will steal. you get so rightfully pissed at the things ed*tblr has going on, and i think you would profit from a change of space, because holy hell does it hurt when i get close to editblr instead of coinblr. you're always so fucking angry and i'm HERE for it! i love listening to you complain and make the points you make, because SOMEHOW you're always correct about things, and it baffles me that your rage is contained despite the horrors you witness and endure. but aside from that, i treasure you as family and im so glad to know you and be able to share a GROUPCHAT with you. whenever i hear you talk of your interests and when you have the faggotry episodes, i feel very happy. your happiness is important to me, and i better fucking see you start being nicer and nicer and nicer and nicer to yourself. youre unbelievably well put together considering how much people push your buttons, sometimes i wish i could send meteors to the people bothering you, or that you give them a piece of your mind. but you and i know its not worth it, so i'll also be glad to hear what you have to say in the < melancholic rupture far deep into the sea >, amongst our friends. people like you a lot, son (/like a old dude talking to a young lad), and i hope you see that its all because you're YOU, not anything else. your bravery and your perseverance make me hope for better times, and i hope you can let yourself ask for help whenever you need it-- to me, or in general. your friends love you, and we all got you. thank you

@praysia — 🎧💠🎀🔌

tranny... faggot... dyke... slur-a-tron... my best friend in slurhood. the slurmaxxer. you are such a lovely friend and i love to hear your yap sessions, and i absolutely adore when you talk about your manmade horror yaois. i love slinging slurs at you and when you use the :pathetic: emoji. you are genuinely such a great friend and your presence makes me raise my arms into the air and go "THE SLURS ARE HERE!!!!". please never ever shut the fuck up or im gonna die miserably like a slug with salt on it. please never give up. youre very motivational to me because youve been through so many life-ending things and still you persist. i like to punch you and stuff haha cool dynamic, but i also genuinely appreciate when youre around. i may not know you all too well on the idyera iceberg, but i sure as hell appreciate you regardless. youre like if the phrase "man's best friend" was a person, because youre a stupid dog and one of the best friends i have, even if you havent unearthed your most horrifying life stories near me. i dont need you to, i just know youre my good friend fagalo. dearest fagoba seradykei mutual. i will hase you with hammers and hold you up into the air. thank you for being here to this day, you fucking liberal!!!!!! youre a joy to be around and i always smile when im near you. youre like a fountain of joy, despite being a mentally ill bitch; youre seriously a lovely person to be around, and i hope you feel like you can rely on me when you need help, even if youre more of a haf than me. thank you

@arachnwife — ⚙️🌈🔪🎉

you are so correct all the time it almost makes me angry (positively). i love seeing you in convos and i love the stuff you make, and im SOOO fucking happy you made a icon blog because ive been complaining about exclusionist icon makers for the past months, and youre like jesus christ coming back for making a icon blog without being a prick... i love conversations with you, and whenever i spot you its like the animal jam best guess game and im winning the spider questions. i also have a passing feeling, a slight suspicion that you might like ticci toby (just a mere impression HEHSHRHKRKTK). youre so chill its almost like eating ice cream and getting brainfreeze-- without the agony though, positively chilling. thank you for being around. i really really want to talk to you more so sometimes i show up and say something and pray for god to bestow a convo upon us. but i'll keep putting more effort into talking to you, because you are PAWESOME! very nice to be around you. keep up the good shtuff up dude, i really appreciate it. thank you

e

@icwdtea / @puriette-archived — 🐶🧣🍰🍁

OUPY!!!!! THATS OUPYYYY!!! THATS OOMPHIEEEE!!!! MY OOMPHIE OUPYYYY... THE MUSIC MISER!!!! you are the physical manifestation of the autumn season to me. i can layer clothes, get nice and cozy, feel the chill fresh breeze on my face, but never will i have to freeze, overheat, or be uncomfortable around you. you've gone and you go through so much, and it only ever seems to make you be kinder to defy bitterness-- and thats something big. something special, shiny, precious, and i think it perfectly represents you; youre warm like < three fluffy blankets > during a freezing winter night, a sweet and soft slice of cake with tons of chocolate involved (icing, filling, etc.), youre like a hug from a old friend you havent seen in forever. you, too, are like the word "man's best friend", much like our slurmaxxing canine friend; you are the peace after a horrible storm, you are the tbeautiful things in life, a smile exchanged between one and a stranger. you are the sweet melodies of music without vocals, the gentle humming of a loving familiar, the warm air around a fireplace. your kindness and your loveliness may be accompanied by rabid behavior, but that will never take away from your love-natured self. you are so many goof things i cannot say, and i hope you know it goes beyond just being perceived-- its something you are, and im grateful for you being around to this day. i hope we can talk more often. thank you

[thevampiremarie]

Summertime Sadness (part 2)

Simon "Ghost" Riley x reader

Second chance romance, heavy angst, hurt/very little comfort

Ten years ago: the first time you met Simon

Today: the first time Ghost meets you

Tags: mental illness, therapeutic boarding school, self harm, suicide attempt/suicidality, self harm, abuse, parental abandonment, much the same as last chapter. This fic is unedited because I don’t feel like editing it lol. If you see spelling/grammar issues, no you didn’t.

TEN YEARS AGO

Reader POV

-

It’s intake day.

Intake day happens once a week, always on Wednesday.

You don’t know why they pick Wednesday. It seems pretty arbitrary, doesn’t it?

On intake day, the nurses and counselors make all the current residents of the inpatient program line up to greet the newbies. You actually look forward to intake day. Everyone here is so boring and routine; your roommate never speaks unless spoken to and she always keeps her earbuds in. On intake day, the hope that someone nice will be admitted survives for the few hours of the intake itself.

It usually dies right after. There was one polite girl who smiled when you waved last week, but she was transferred to a different facility that night before you could learn her name.

You’ve been here for three weeks, so that’s three intake days.

You’re not sure why you’ve been here so long. It seems a little excessive; you’d think by now they’d realize your stuff isn’t so bad and maybe you could transition to outpatient appointments?

It’s a little dissociation and some minor depression. Not bad at all.

But your doctors agree, albeit gently, that you should stay for the full five month course.

The program isn’t so bad. The facility sits on a sprawling multi-acre property in the British countryside, where everything is beautiful and verdant and always chilly. It’s lovely. The tea is good. You’re getting used to how they take it here. It’s nothing like the sweet tea you drink back home.

You suppose that’s another reason why they won’t let you go home even though you’re okay; there isn’t a home to go back to. Your dad hasn’t looked you in the eye since Mom left. At least the orderlies here greet you in the morning.

(What Dad doesn’t know is that before she left, she told you she loved you and to wait for her. Soon, she’ll take you away from this place and you’ll never have to see your dad again.)

Before you head to the foyer, you check your hair in the mirror of your room’s suicide-proofed bathroom. A young teenage face stares back at you with cheeks flushed red from the sun. You trace your deep smile lines with the tip of your finger, then practice smiling. You would have feel better about moving to a therapeutic boarding school if you’d been greeted with a smile.

At first, you think the newest crop of poor souls will be uninteresting at best. Listless rich kids detoxing off Mommy’s coke, frightened preteens who’ve never been away from their parents for an extended period of time, and a few teenagers straight from an ER, IV bags and all.

And then you see him get off the bus last.

He’s tall, towering over everyone else. A lanky, almost skeletal build, with a bored, aloof expression on his face. He hides the Zippo lighter he was playing with in his sleeve before the nurses catch and confiscate it.

There’s something horrifically severe about him. He can’t be more than a couple of years older than you, but he carries himself like he’s a blade and the world is filled with monsters.

His eyes are large and dark, rich brown irises rimmed with pale blonde eyelashes. And they’re kind, even though he would probably hate having that pointed out.

You decide then and there that you’ll befriend him. He could use a friend; everyone here does. He’s beautiful in his sharpness and elegant in his abrasiveness. Maybe you can coax more of that hidden kindness out, show him that it’s worth more than his anger. You wouldn’t be able to stay away if you tried.

You both like playing with fire, though you prefer less literal ones.

-

TODAY

Ghost POV

-

Your smile fades swiftly as if it was never there to begin with.

There are two ghosts in this room. That’s what you are; a ghost of the girl he knew.

He watches and waits for you to shift uncomfortably and start blabbering to fill the silence like you used to. “Why’d you make them call me?” Ghost asks when it’s clear that you won’t.

As soon as you explain, he’s out of here. Ghost meant it when he said he never wanted to see you again.

You’re the last living reminder of the past he’s tried so hard to kill. The beeping sounds of your heart monitor spell out his mistakes in a grating, irritating rhythm.

Your answer disappoints his expectations. “I didn’t actually think you’d show.” Ghost doesn’t hear any wistfulness or longing in your voice, anything that would tell him that you’re clinging on to the boy you thought he was. Only a bone-dry and hollow statement of facts.

“What do you want?”

You ignore his question. At fifteen, you were good at that. At twenty-five, you’re better. “You got any cigarettes I could bum? You look like you still smoke them,” You say as you fiddle with your torn, bleeding nail beds with the classic anxiety of nicotine withdrawal.

He does that too when a mission stretches too long without a resupply and he finishes his cigarettes early to stave off hunger.

Ghost remembers fighting with you over the pack of smokes he smuggled into the program. He would hold it way above your head and laugh as you struggled to reach them. But you never gave up - they were bad for him, and you liked him too much to see him die of lung cancer.

He remembers the determination in your eyes and your unwavering faith that he could be saved.

“They’re bad for you,” Ghost echoes.

If you remember that moment, you don’t show it. “You know what else is fucking bad for you?” Your tone is so acerbic that it gives him whiplash.

He can’t resist taking a shot. “What, being a prick?” You just… bring out the worst in him. You make him feel as unhinged and unmoored as he was when you first met.

You roll your bloodshot eyes.

“I wasn’t going to call you out on that. I was going to say benzos and vodka. Also throwing yourself headfirst off a bridge.”

“Oh.”

What is he supposed to say to that?

“Why did you come?” You ask after a long moment of quiet interspersed by that fucking heart monitor.

Ghost grinds his teeth into each other as he reflects. He hates doing that; the inside of his skull is a bad place. “…I don’t know,” He admits. Coming here was a mistake; Ghost understands that now.

The foul taste on the back of his tongue is guilt. But why? You did this to yourself. You brought him here to play games and fuck him up, so why is he the one who feels… bad?

You sigh. “Simon-“

“Ghost. It’s Ghost now,” He cuts you off with more violence than necessary.

Your mouth settles into a tight, pained line. “Ghost. Go away.”

“But you called me here.”

That provokes a reaction.

Ghost sees it and immediately wishes it hadn’t.

You stare him straight in the eye, your dilated pupils peel back his mask and see the face underneath. Your skin is tinged gray and your bottom lip blooms red with blood from where you’ve bitten through it.

He wants back the child sobbing for his forgiveness on her knees, who looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky.

“And it was a mistake, and I should never have done it, and I just wanted the satisfaction of knowing you weren’t going to pick up the phone. That I was truly alone.”

So the memory of him is a knife you’re using on yourself. Fucking disturbing.

“Oh.”

You raise an eyebrow as you wave. “Bye.”

Right.

That’s it.

Though your dismissal rankles, Ghost does as you ordered and takes his leave of you.

His work phone vibrates a few times.

Only one person calls that it. “Captain,” Ghost greets.

Captain Price clears his throat on the other side of the line. “Lieutenant. When can we expect you back?”

‘Tomorrow’ is on the tip of Ghost’s tongue.

He’s never taken a day off in his career, which means he’s got at least a year or two in built up vacation time. “I’ll be gone for a while longer, sir. Not sure yet how long,” Ghost answers promptly.

It’s only for a few more days, a week at most. Long enough to make sure you won’t try to kill yourself again, long enough for the guilt freezing his blood and choking his lungs to fade.

“Alright, Lieutenant. Keep us posted.”

“Yes, sir.”

TAGGING: @devcica @igotmajordaddyissues @almightywdm @copiasratscheese @nerdyreaderpapi @schmelscorner

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

I Cherish You, Halcyon Days: iv.

“You’re gonna die, kid. In the worst way possible.”

tags: afab!reader (she/her), angst, slow burn

pairing: gojou x reader + onesided!getou x reader

summary: You’re 15 years old when you’re told you’re going to die. You’re 17 years old when you realize who your killer will be. And you’re 17 years old when you make peace with the fact you wouldn’t want it any other way.

index | previous chapter | next chapter

You hum in pleasant surprise when the taste of green apples and mango hit your tongue. This really could have been hit or miss, you sip again. Still as good as the first sip. Just because you like experimenting with food and drink, it doesn't necessarily mean there will be a good payoff. Fruit teas from random shops are always either too sweet or just right for you, never something tolerable in between.

Thankfully, this place understood that the sugar is only supposed to enhance the drink, not drown it. You look over at the tall and lanky boy a few short steps away. Tea isn't Gojou's thing, hence why he is the only member of the group who hadn't ordered anything, but you think this one will be right up his alley. "You've gotta try this," you angle the cup slightly above your shoulder. "It's this green apple mango flavor they're promoting."

Without taking the cup from your hand, Gojou simply leans down to take a drink. "It's alright," Gojou shrugs before sipping again with vigor. "Needs more sugar."

You snort and lean away, bringing your beverage with you, "well if it's only alright, stop drinking it then."

"You know," Gojou sighs and you already know it's going to be some bullshit spewed out of his mouth coated in false philosophy and maturity. "Here in Japan we have a saying that food tastes better when you share it."

You roll your eyes but grin at the fact you called it, "well we just shared it and it still tastes exactly the same so," when Gojou attempts to take your cup, you turn immediately. "You better follow your best friend's example and get inside that tea house and order yourself a drink!"

Gojou slumps over your back with a whine, "what if yours tastes better than mine for some reason and they give me a bad one?"

You're giggling but no dice, "no!" You shove your straw back into your mouth and lean over your drink protectively. Get your own drink, you point at the tea shop once again with a mumble. "You have pretty privilege, there is no way they'll fuck yours up!"

"Stingy," Gojou clicks his tongue but he drags himself across the street where Suguru is standing in line anyway.

Crisis avoided.

"... What was that?" Utahime's eyes widen while her brow furrows.

It's a chilly April day in Moriya and the lot of you are enjoying the last bits of spring vacation. School holidays work differently when you go to a jujutsu school, you learned quickly. As far as the higher ups were concerned, vacation just meant more free time to send students on missions. Sure you're in a completely different part of Japan doing a lot more traveling than you'd ever do in your typical high school experience.

But in reality, this trip to a ryokan in Ibaraki Prefecture is nothing more than a glorified work trip with sightseeing sprinkled in. They could have at least sent us to a coastal town if they were sending us to Ibaraki. You shouldn't expect much from an institute that still does school on Saturday when the rest of the country stopped doing it in 2002. At the very least, the mission had been wrapped up and this final week of spring break before the new school year started, you get to enjoy yourself.

Next week, I become a second year student, you did it. You managed to survive your very first year at Jujutsu Tech. You'll miss having Fujioka-sensei as a teacher, she was kind and had lots of fun anecdotes. But you can't stew in awe and nostalgia with how Utahime is staring at you like you've lost your mind.

"What was what? It's green apple mango fruit tea," you cock your head before sliding your cup to the traditionally-clothed girl's side of the table. "Wanna try it too?"

Utahime promptly slides it back in disgust. "After he put his mouth on it? No thanks," you only shrug in return before sipping at the fruity goodness all over again. That's more for me then. Your nonchalance drives your upperclassman into mania. She looks at Shoko like she's the only other sane person at the table. 'What the heck is going on?!' her lips move silently. "Why am I the only one freaking out about this!?"

The brunette holds up a hand in the most laidback display of defensiveness you've ever seen, "they've been like that for a while now, everyone just got used to it." Shoko's words only make Utahime's more aghast.

Oh right.

That.

You smack your lips together with a weak laugh, avoiding your friend's accusatory gaze.

Something shifted in the cosmos after December 8th, 2005 without your meaning to. You aren't exactly sure how long it took after your birthday for sharing food with Gojou to become habit, but it did.

Something is too sweet or too spicy? You swap plates.

You get an assorted bag of snacks and sweet treats from helping a random grandma cross the street? There isn't really a point of keeping any of the stuff you know Gojou will like.

But you never realized how ingrained into normalcy it became until one particular day you leaned over to eat a chip Gojou held in his fingers. "Does this taste kinda soapy to you or is it just me?" He asked, shaking the bag it came from. They were roasted cumin lamb skewer flavored chips imported from China.

"Yeah, I think it's just- wait, give me another one?" You chewed more slowly that time around, really feeling at the flavor. "No, I'm getting it too."

Suguru and Shoko made faces that looked exactly like the one Utahime is wearing right now. "[First]!"

"Look it isn't like we're friends or anything," you tell the soon to be fourth-year. "When there is food involved, the We Hate Gojou Alliance calls forth a truce," you explain seriously, folding your hands and resting your chin on them as if you are Ikari Gendo. "For how can we hate if we are not properly nourished?"

At the bullshit you spew, Utahime's expression shifts into one that is purely unamused as her brow furrows and she purses her lips. It takes a lot out of you to not laugh then and there. "And since when was that an addendum we agreed on?"

"It's one I made out of personal interest," you close your eyes, nodding at the memories. Food comes before any quarrel you have with an annoying classmate. If it came down to it, you'd become Gojou's best friend for a sandwich. "When food is involved, Gojou Satoru isn't that bad."

"You're full of it," Utahime fights the twitches of her lips trying to curl upward. "Very, very full of it." The upperclassman relents with a sigh a beat later, knowing her arguments are futile. "You're a traitor. I hope you know that you're a traitor to our cause, [First]," you bite your lip to prevent yourself from laughing again. You're failing the longer she goes on. Shoko is your mission partner, but you think it is arguably fair to say Utahime is who you're closest to besides her. When you transferred to Jujutsu Tech, it was Utahime who gave you a tour around the facility when the teachers were suddenly too busy. She was a kind and beautiful upperclassman who came with a lot less monetary baggage than Mei Mei. "First Getou and Shoko, now you," she sips her matcha with a pointed glare in the direction of the tea house windows. Whatever Gojou does, it makes Utahime's amused scowl turn into an annoyed glare.

"I was technically never part of any alliance to hate on Gojou, I'm only an affiliated acquaintance," Shoko laughs lightly, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. "Utahime-senpai, you just have to accept this as part of the new reality. [First] and Gojou have become friends," your mission partner rolls her eyes when you shoot her a pointed look. "Apologies, food-based acquaintances."

Satisfied with her correction, you nod.

It's then Suguru finally reappears, a beverage in hand. Gojou is still waiting by the window for his own order to finish. "What are you guys talking about now?"

"I was telling them about this convenience store by my old high school everyone went to to have mental breakdowns," it's always a pleasure when Suguru looks at you like you've grown a second head. Laughter slips from your lips as easily as breathing. "It's called Adachi's ー that's the owner ー but the joke was to call it Adachi 7-11 because it rips off the 7-11 color scheme. He's a sweet guy though," you quickly add before continuing your spontaneous tale of the incredible 7-11 knock off store.

You eloquently tell your friend that Adachi is the kind of grownup who understand kids have it rough. That it's unknown who it was from Tsubame High that started the tradition of finding aisle to just sit and cry and snack in, but eventually it just became the spot to have freak outs. If you stayed to eat while you freaked, you simply paid for what you ate or drank when you were ready to leave.

Respect someone else's crying space. If you couldn't avoid going into their aisle for something, just politely pretend they don't exist.

If you really needed a cry, Adachi's office is free for someone having a particular trying time.

And last but not least, Adachi's was a judgement free zone.

It was like having a bartender for teenagers. Except in this instance, the only services the bartender offered were snack food, cheap wagashi and a select variety of beverages.

"First, I promise people don't go there to cry as often it I made it sound. Second, I know it sounds weird but it actually was kinda cool," you chuckle as the cursed user shakes his head the longer you go on. "Exam week? We're all basically in there studying and freaking out while eating a bunch of snacks." It really built up a surprising amount of comradery among your classmates you make sure to tack on before taking a break to finish the rest of your tea. "Before you ask, if I'm gonna have a mental breakdown, I prefer having it in the privacy of my own room," or in front of a beluga whale, but that explanation will take forever and a half. "And that... is the story behind Adachi 7-11," you conclude dramatically.

Suguru shakes his head but his expression is playful, "I give you points for the improv, but I'm taking away points for how long your story was."

You click your tongue in mock annoyance, "everybody's a critic. I just wanted to cover all the bases in case you felt so intrigued you wanted to know more about your mysterious classmate."

"You don't have a mysterious bone in your body," Shoko chirps and when you lightly kick her ankle under the table, she kicks back. "Utahime-senpai just feels betrayed that [First] is getting along better with Gojou." At the reminder, Utahime squints in your direction again. 'And after all I've done for you. I should have gone to Kyoto Tech', Utahime sighs into her warm cup. "The We Hate Gojou Alliance is turning into the I Alone Hate Gojou Alliance."

This is when Gojou finally saunters over, drink in hand, "that's because I'm cool and charming."

"You know, if you have to say it, you're probably not as charming as you think you are," Suguru advises with a grin. Gojou promptly ignores it as if he never said anything at all.

"Sucks to be you, Utahime," Gojou sticks out his tongue at the songstress. "[First] and I are practically best friends. Right, [First]?"

The more you deny it, the less convincing you know you sound so you stop with a heavy breath. "Anyway," you pivot the conversation to something other than your food-based truce. "Does anyone know if there are going to be any new 1st years? Or is it gonna be a while before we start seeing some new faces?"

Suguru nods, "I heard from Fujioka-sensei that there are two first years coming enrolling," you perk up at this information. It's a small jujutsu world, so small you didn't even know if you'd be getting any underclassmen. Two 1st years coming in still just seem so small though. From what you've learned though, 2-3 students per grade is average and the school lucked out with your 1st year class having four kids. Suguru points a finger back and forth between you, "she didn't tell me much about them but they're recruits from non-sorcerer families, like us."

Sometimes, life decides to grant you little miracles. "Finally, we're growing in our ranks," you cheer, bumping your cup against Suguru's. "That's less clan politics to hear about!"

The closest you've ever gotten to clan politics in Japan were from anime and dramas and the occasional snippets you learned about the imperial family on the news. That changed when you became a sorcerer. It's a small jujutsu world, you learn things here and there whether you want to or not. Interesting as the stories can be, however, you're glad your family is normal. Everyone at your school from a sorcerer family makes clan politics sound annoying at best and harrowing at worst and that's just from the things you learned from Utahime, Shoko and Mei Mei.

Your other peers aren't so keen on sharing what goes on in their families.

Yamada isn't the friendliest of your upperclassmen.

As for Gojou ー the only one of your classmates from a family apparently worth mentioning ー he doesn't care about clan politics in the slightest and opts to ignore it.

Thus, the Big Three Families still are a mystery to you even with Gojou's close proximity to your person. Nor are there any students at your school that came from either the Zenin or Kamo Clans. There are a couple enrolled at the jujutsu school in Kyoto apparently but you haven't had a chance to meet them. You only had three summaries to go off of when it came to the big name families in jujutsu, all courtesy of Gojou back in May of last year since you couldn't participate in the Sister School Exchange Event in Kyoto.

(Apparently having two special-grade sorcerers for students gave Tokyo Tech the biggest advantage so only Gojou and Suguru got to go. Jerks. Utahime threw a big fit over it too, but at the very least Tokyo won last year.)

"Do you like having rights as a woman?"

"Um, yes?"

"Then you won't like the Zenin Clan.  You know Carnage from the Venom comics in the States?"

"Yeah, my mom reads those."

"That's the Kamo Clan."

"Okay, well what about your family? What's their deal?"

"They have me."

Vague, but clear enough descriptions to paint the necessary pictures ー the Amazing Sexists, the Bloods and the Jujutsu Jesus Havers Club.

Considering that this year the Sister School Exchange event will be taking place in Tokyo, you wonder if this will give you a chance to meet these fancy jujutsu folk. You tell your group as much, sighing in wonder. "It's a good thing you and Gojou won the exchange event, I wanna meet the kids from the other school." That was what you'd been most excited about before Fujioka-sensei dashed all your hopes and dreams. You wanted to see the differences in the campuses and what sort of crazy the teachers had going on. C'est la vie. "What were they like when you went there? Were the big clan kids more refined than Gojou over here?"

You barely dodge the definitely cold hand that was about to touch back of your neck in retaliation while Suguru chuckles out an explanation, "They have a couple folk from the Kamo Clan. They were... nice."

"You hesitated before you said nice," Shoko deadpans.

"They were polite," Suguru pivots his next selection of words in his attempt to remain neutral.

Gojou sticks out his tongue, unimpressed by his best friend's attempts to be cordial, "they were whatever. We didn't really talk to them."

"Boo, you're boring," you shake your head in heavy but mocking disappointment. "Should have just asked Utahime, she's seen them more." Your gazes turn to the oldest person at the table.

Utahime shoulders square off in satisfaction at being deferred to. "There are a couple of Kamo Clan kids at Kyoto Tech, one of them won't be coming because he'll be a fourth year student like me," her spirit drops for a moment and you offer a small smile of reassurance. Fourth year students don't get to participate in Sister School Exchange Event. Hence why she'd been so upset that she'd been unable to participate in it. There's not much you can do to comfort your friend, nor is there anything either of you can do about the past. At the very least, Utahime is nothing if not an optimist. She'll just kick ass in a different category. "As for the younger Kamo, Ririka, she's actually pretty nice when you talk to her but she can be a bit intimidating at times. She'll be a third-year student once school starts."

You make a noise of pleasant surprise, "Kamo Ririka, I'll keep an eye out for her." There's nothing better than a nice but intimidating woman, in your opinion.

"As for everyone else, they're all definitely a lot more tolerable than Gojou, it's not even a competition," Utahime glared at the sunglasses-wearing boy pointedly. He shrugged back without a care in the world, unperturbed as ever. "But while I was visiting home, my mother told me that Zenin Naoya is enrolling in Kyoto Tech so we'll be seeing him in a few months as a first year."

Whoever Zenin Naoya is, just mentioning him immediately makes Gojou groan in annoyance. "I was hoping that brat was gonna get homeschooled," he chews on his straw. You aren't sure how irritated he actually is but you do note how white brows curl in displeasure.

Gojou makes a face, "Zenin Naoya. I can't stand that guy."

You nudge him, lips curling into a light smirk, "I'm sure your fancy rich kid beef isn't that serious."

"No, Gojou actually isn't being hyperbolic this time," you glance over at Shoko. She and Utahime are sporting matching grimaces, brown eyes glancing at one another in understanding. "Zenins are bad but Zenin Naoya is the worst."

Well god damn. You share a look with Suguru who shrugs back, just as lost. That's the problem with not being born into the world of jujutsu, you're behind on all the history and beef going on behind the scenes. You have to learn little by little whether that be through being told or stumbling your way into procuring the knowledge on your own.

Zenin Naoya ー a member of the Amazing Sexists. You glance back at Gojou who has gone back to drinking away at his cup of tea. His partially obscured face doesn't make it any easier to read how he may be feeling underneath the surface.

Either way, you'll form your own opinion on this Naoya person when the sister schools converge in Tokyo.

Second year is definitely going to be something.

index | previous chapter | next chapter

Extra:

Fun fact for my fellow Americans and anyone else whose school holidays work differently, while here in the states, the end of summer vacation is when we go up a grade, students go up a grade at the end of spring break in Japan.

Summer vacation in Japan is about 30-40 days long depending on the prefecture from the end of July to the end of August. In Tokyo, I think it's from about July 21st to to August 24th. You come back and you're still in the same class. Winter break is from about December 26 to January 7th. And Spring break is about March 26th to April 5th. Like I said it can change prefecture to prefecture, but the mentioned dates are the standard for Tokyo give or take a few days or two depending on the ward.

Just wanted that knowledge to be shared, if you were curious as to why the reader is going up a grade after spring break. In Japan, the school year starts in April.

I really wanted to work on Reader's initial dynamic with her peers and her personal philosophies in these first few chapters before kicking off into the heavier stuff that comes in 2nd year. Considering how in canon, shit pretty much was smooth sailing for Gojou and co. during their 1st year until the 'Toji really beat the breaks out of 2 teenagers' mission, I wanted to reflect that in these initial chapters. Hopefully you guys have been enjoying it as much as I have. The Sister School Exchange Event is around the corner and those folks are coming to Tokyo, I wonder how that's gonna go >:3c (not that you can participate but there's plot, I assure you).

[dontexpectmuch]

hi!! firstly i just wanna let u know how much i love ur posts, you’re very talented n i enjoy ur work a lot !! id like to req a post about how jude would be when taking care of his s/o when they’re ill (i’m sick rn and its all ive been able to think about today lol) tysm in advance !! take care <3

you tiptoed quietly out of your room, trying your best to avoid drawing any attention to your movements. it felt like walking in a lion’s den, any noise and you’d immediately be noticed.

your eyelids felt heavy, your throat was itchy and your nose was stuffed, but you really wanted to make yourself some tea with honey and maybe grab some snacks. you were supposed to rest, drinking loads of water and staying in bed, but you really wanted to finish your essay, feeling restless at the thought of the deadline nearing.

“what are you doing?” a stern voice appeared from behind you, your plan of staying unnoticed going down the drain.

halting your movements, you turn around with a sheepish smile on your tired face, looking at your boyfriend whose body leaned against the kitchen doors frame. “hey, jude.” you greet him, eyes never leaving his face as he steps closer to you, arms on each side of your body, kind of caging you between the kitchen counter and his body.

“so?” he questioned again, tilting his head. his gaze was quite intense, you note, feeling nervous at his closeness.

“i wanted to drink some tea?” your answer sounded more like a question, fidgeting with your fingers and lowering your gaze to avoid his.

jude clears his throat, leaning back and crossing his arms infront of his chest, his eyebrows were drawn together, “babe!” he begins, voice laced with frustration, “i told you to tell me! you gotta rest, y’know.”

“but, jude, c’mon i’m bored! laying all day in bed with nothing to do exhausts me more than working.” you argue back, hands dancing around the air as if to highlight your point better.

“mum told me you need to rest.” jude reasons, grabbing your shoulders to lead you back to your bedroom, hands slightly massaging your tense muscles while he was at it. “i’ll get you your tea, babe.”

rolling your eyes, you sit down on your bed and look up at your boyfriend. he seemed pretty serious about his job as your caretaker, going as far as to ask his mum about how to take care of you, looking up recipes for all different kinds of soups and refusing to let you do any work, insisting that you should be resting as much as you could.

“shouldn’t you be at training?” you ask, leaning back on your hands, watching as jude lits up some candles that were in your room, mumbling something about setting the mood right.

“told them that there’s an emergency.” he replied, smiling at you. “can’t let my baby be all alone at time like this.” he comes up to you again, leaning down to press a soft kiss on your forehead.

“jude, that’s too much! you can’t skip practice because of this.” you scold him, face showing your disapproval clearly, “‘ts not even serious, just a mild cold.” shaking your head, you get up and walk to your desk to grab your laptop.

jude watches you, eyes narrowed, as you walk back to your bed and lean your back against your many pillows. “what are you doing?”

“working on my essay.” you shrugged. if you can’t do anything at all, you might just finish that annoying essay.

“nah, put that back, babe.” jude moves to take your laptop away, but you act fast and turn your back facing him, shielding your laptop from his hands.

“jude, please.” you plead, sighing. jude stemmed his hands on his hips, looking at you before he also sighed.

“fine, but you’re not leavin’ this room, ‘m bein’ serious.” he comes to a decision, watching you as you happily nod.

as you continued your work, jude went back to the kitchen to make you some tea and get you your snacks, talking to his mum on the phone at the same time to complain about your behavior, hoping she’d back his point up, to no avail, though, as she also believes that jude is slightly exaggerating.

you giggled at the sight of jude concentrating on bringing your tea, beverage filled up to the brim. he looked really cute and made you feel grateful for his presence and concern for your well-being.

“you’d make a good house-husband, you know?” you point out as he cleans up your desk.

“oh, shut up.”

———————————

i like y’all or wtv 🙄

[fairytaehl]

lgief rewatch ep. 2

continuing my rewatch... i wont repeatedly explain myself every time, and ill provide links to the ones ive already done, probably wont be able to update them since i know ill have to reblog for extra commentary due to the 30img cap limit </3 the episodes will be linked to the fully reviewed ones with all reblogs.

if youd like to discuss lgief, feel free to send me asks, chats, or reply to any of these posts.

ep 1 / ep 2 / ep 3 / ep 4 pre-festival / ep 4 festival / ep 5, 5 part 2 / ep 6 / ep 7 / ep 8 / ep 9 / ep 10

guys. its such a pretty shot. its so minimal and not anything unique but capturing yao through the flowing curtains... ugh. chef's tongue kiss.

i like the juxtaposition here between yao having told him in ep 1 that he was still whining even though he claimed to be hurt, meanwhile yao is saying that in the past fight he never made it a fuss and was fine to move on with their duties, so she should be doing the same. its cute the way they bicker and care for each other. true sibling behavior.

and yes, of course, any time ziqi can mention pushing fuyi out of the picture, he sure will. though yao is right, she doesnt want to overstay their welcome, even if she does need some time to recover. also... yaos voice is so pretty during these lines. i dont know what about it, but her relaxed composure and cosmopolitan nature is just so nice.

loveeeee how he basically reveals his real reason for wanting to stay (not that it doesnt connect right back to yao, but lets be clear, he has a mystery to solve, and asking her to recover was just a coverup) and when yao wants him to elaborate he just walks away to ponder and she sips her tea. how often is he elusive like this that she just lets him speak half-truths and such?

eyes <3 dont look at me like that im shy...

only posting this because his side profile is ruining my life. blah blah jaw so sharp it could cut a man yaddayadda. its true.

im not sharing screenshots of it, but i want to comment on miaomiaos interaction with her dad following this scene. i can only imagine how much it was hurting her to see her dad again, but in this universe where, in the book, hes killed for being a corrupt official. as we see later, she would rather sacrifice herself to spare her dad. its not exactly survivors guilt because she wasnt in harms way back then, but it basically is, and i feel so much for her. she continuously says all these words of wanting him to just be safe, happy, and healthy, and i wonder how much of a burden weighs on the real life miaomiao's shoulders because of this. she felt it was her fault because if she didnt get into a fight, her dad wouldve never been called in the first place, and now all she wants is for him to live well, nagging him about his health and being the concerned daughter he deserved, since he was robbed of that. ugh, my heart... how was lin yu so cruel when she had a father like this?!

her shaking her thumb as she thumbs up is so funny and cute. she's such an excitable and hyperactive person. my adhd queen.

maybe if you didnt mention fuyi like that he wouldnt refuse to drink... but ah, getting scolded by said man is his just desserts. and yao follows suit with a silent look. hes such a chiiiildddddd.

and its so lovely how fuyi drinks yao's cup because shes injured and miaomiao is eating it up because she ships them. buuuut judging ziqi so hard for his impoliteness.

[even she was weirded tf out meme]

going to reach my photo cap soon, and im afraid this episode will require more than one reblog... final version link will be edited in here.

[t4tozier]

jace wakes up one morning so sick he can barely stand. he’s shivering and trembling and coughing every other word but he’s still insistent on going to work, mage handing his clothes from his dresser and using it to help him get his shirt on because he’s so achy he can barely move

meanwhile porter, who had just happened to spend the night, comes into jace’s room after his morning run with a coffee for the half-elf because he knows he’s a bitch in the morning before he gets caffeine in his body and sees jace struggling to pull a sock on

and he’s like okay absolutely not. get back in bed. and jace whines and bats his hand away but porter could literally push him back with one finger he’s so out of it. and porter’s like okay i’m gonna tell aguefort we’re not coming in. and jace is like nooo i’m fine. you can go in. i can go in i’m fine. but then porter’s tucking the comforter up around his chin and brushing his hair back and wait jace is so comfy and tired and he goes back to sleep

when he wakes up again on his nightstand there’s toast and tea that must have some sort of cantrip on it because who knows how long it’s been there but it’s still steaming, and the tea is just how he likes it and the toast isn’t too rough on his stomach and when porter comes in next jace is at least a little more coherent

porter sits with him for a while and tells him that they’re fine, classes are all set, and jace doesn’t believe him but he pretends he does and then porter tells him he’s gonna go to the grocery store bc jace has one egg and a bottle of vodka in his fridge and that’s it and to text him if he thinks of anything he needs

and when he gets up he leans down and kisses jace’s sweaty forehead and jace pretends like his blush is from the fever

but the second porter leaves he calls aguefort like okay i need you to get me a video call for my classroom because i cannot leave these students unattended and aguefort’s like yeah ofc here u go

and so jace like zooms his lesson and is like i know you guys were hoping to get out of class today. joke’s on you because if you did then someone would be blowing up the classroom. again. so we’re not doing that but we’ll have a chill lesson today who here has subtle spell

and he’s literally still sitting in bed sipping his tea but like hell is he going to not teach. but then porter gets back and hears jace talking about metamagic and sorcery points and he’s not even really thinking about the implications of that so he goes into the room and gives him another kiss hello and jace instinctively leans into it and looks up at porter kind of dreamily as he’s talking about the groceries he got until one of the students clears their throat and is like. uh. jace?

and jace’s eyes go so wide and he turns bright red and he’s like class dismissed! and dispels the video and there’s nothing porter can do to console him he’s so embarrassed. jace is like i literally can never go back to work all the kids are gonna make fun of me. but porter’s just like we can worry about that later, yeah? c’mere, you can watch me cook and i’ll let you taste test it i know you’re picky. and jace is still sulky but lets porter carry him into the kitchen and put him on the counter where he sits and drinks his fantasy liquid IV because porter insists he’s dehydrated and watches as porter makes soup that his grandma taught him how to make and he’s just like hm. maybe being sick isn’t so bad after all

[squimp]

tagged by mr. fujo himeslef @peemil thank you sir..

last song: caribbean blue by enya

favorite color: BLUEEEEE !!!!!!!! i love red and blue together also. anything eye burning technicolor dayglo l*sa fr*nk i love that shit

last book: dracula. because i drank u. La

last movie: star trek the one with the whales. i fell asleep for the first half of it though

last tv show: star trek tng i slap his bald head

sweet/savory/spicy: spicayyyyy

relationship status: whatever man who gives a shit

last thing i searched: "caribbean blue enya" i wanted to watch the music video..lol

current obsession: PERFUMES and fragrances honestly omg i cant stop spending all my time on fragrantica.com..ive realized recently just how much i love smells. once i found out there are perfumes taht dont give me an instant headache my world opened up. it really is like the ultimate accessory. i have turmeric latte perfume from lush and i want to get lust also because the jasmine is so yummy, and im dying to get a little decant of guerlain shalimar edp. i am dying even more to get my hands on trying the shalimar millesime jasmin but its sooooo pricey

looking forward to: IM GOING TO LIVE IN FRANCE FOR 3 MONTHS starting mid february !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CRAZY! Im kinda freaked scared but also super excited i never have done anything like this before in my life like literally ever

favorite drink: like drinky drink..one time i had a "lychee martini" that was so fucking delicious. otherwise regular drink hmmm ive been drinking a lot of rooibos tea lately thats always been a fav

song playing 24/7: dont laugh. caribbean blue by enya. im having an enya moment lately like BIG time huge time

current favorite character: this was reallyyyy difficult but can i be honest with you it might be c.c. i love this bitch she is so funny. her 2 ultimate needs being pizza hut and having her ass cheeks out at all times

otherwise.... its been too long since ive ds9ed adn i really miss weyoun and damar i cant lie

fun activity i’d like to get into: man if i could alter/tailor my own clothes that would be so hugely major the game would be changed FOREVER. FOREVER.

last video game: um. i think it was roblox

last comic: man fuck if i know

and nowww i tag... @grouperhq @wolfstrong @theygotlost @yarboyandy @gayspock @mouseratz and emil already tagged you @fagimator but idgaf i do it anyways lol no pressure obvs and if anyone sees this and wants to do it go for it

[themurderrose]

yiling fertility thoughts [test tube baby A Yuan cultivated via resentful energy by WWX]

further to my evil author day fic post available at the end of this post, I am HAVING THOUGHTS about how to write more in the verse. So, let us get into it:

THINKING ABOUT WWX WHO WANTED HER OWN FAMILY SO MUCH SHE CULTIVATED A CHILD ALL BY HERSELF ONLY NOBODY BELIEVED HER AND THOUGHT SHE'D GONE AND GOTTEN HERSELF KNOCKED UP SO THEY DISOWNED HER AND LWJ DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT IT UNTIL SHE WAS GONE FAST FORWARD 4 YEARS AND WWX IS AT THE FOREFRONT OF FERTILITY RESEARCH AND CORUNS A CLINIC WITH WEN QING

I'm thinking about wwx who uses resentful energy in her fertility work, and lwj who uses like purity rituals and stuff in her fertility work, and thinking about them meeting at a medical conference where they're both lecturing

thinking about lil baby a yuan in the conference daycare, and lwj falling Fast cause there is Literally No Other Way for lwj to fall thinking about them

thinking about lwj seeing a yuan and immediately forgetting her uncles teachings about 'those born from resentful energy are poisoned and wrong' and going 'how can anyone as cute as this be poisoned and wrong'

I'm thinking about yanli and her hubby ended up with Yiling Fertility. I'm thinking that they were having lots of trouble conceiving because despite how Prevalent his father was, jin zixuan is practically completely infertile. thinking about them going to lwj and it not working even after they've gone through 3 rounds of 'pure 'Purely cultivated' ivf, and then yanli sitting up one night crying about never being able to have a child because 'a xuan i'm getting older'

thinking about zixuan going Right. thinking about him down wwx because he'd heard something through a grapevine, and booking an appointment with just him first and being all 'i know a li's family have been awful to you - your family - but professionally, do you think you could treat her? us? we really want a child, and we've been to the lan clinic for three rounds

so wwx is like 👀 👀 👀 'how is shijie? or, well, Jiang Yanli? or does she— is it Jin now? How, how is your wife?" and jzx is just, not horrified, he'd known how badly the jiangs had imploded but he hadn't known you know? And he's like 'call her Yanli, at least for now. And yes, it's Jin privately but she keeps Jiang professionally' (idk if they do that in china?! but for now at least they do) and wwx is nodding and nodding and then wen ning opens the door "can i get you tea? coffee? boss?" and wwx is like "coffee please, a ning. Jin Zixuan, I'll be five minutes, you can tell A ning what you'd like to drink." and darts from the room, running into the loos and having a controlled 3 min breakdown, washing her face, reaplying her makeup and returning to her office, controlled, in charge, The Boss ™️

thinking about how they make plans to bring Yanli in for a check up, scheduling things and wwx opens a file for them, taking notes etc. [the fic part that ive published]

thinking about JZX saying 'if you need our notes from the Lans—" and WWX is like Absolutely not we do things my way, but secretly like ooo lan zhan cause WHEN IS SHE NOT.

thinking about wwx choosing not to contact the Lan clinic because she knows she'll only get condemnation there and they likely will not pass on their records, and although she's always liked lan zhan, if wen qing taught her anything it was self preservation

anyway thinking thoughts about maybe a lz pov for another chapter...

if that intrigued you at all please check this out 👇

[roadyblr]

NO! DONT. TELL. HIM. HE IS MY HUSBAND AND I WILL NEVER LET GO (me saying this like I haven't said it to 25 other idols..)

this you??? but all jokes aside I'm so proud of myself for taking this beautiful picture from their kindergarten TRICKY HOUSE episode. its beautiful. and the best part is that JUNGHOON IS ACTUALLY THERE ASKFKFKSFSFFJKAFFSK

can I know what ur main is so I can follow?? I don't really mind what kind of blog it is, I just wanna follow

anyway, Haru is one of my obsessions (YECHAN IS STILL FIRST. DONT SAY ANYTHING.) as of right now. like he's so pretty.. and he's so talented. there's this video of nexz singing live and their voices are SO CLEAR!! like they're literally so freaking talented its crazy. AND THE BEST PART IS, theyre 5th gen.

so sorry to be a hater but illit and I've could never (don't use me, I love their music)

back to yechan, on kprofiles his favourite foods are ramen (a no-brainer, who doesn't love ramen), tteok bokki (I love it but I had to search up how to spell it), sushi (another no-brainer) AND THESE LITTLE CRACKER THINGIES THAT ARE SO GOOD WAIT HOLD UP.

THESE THINGS. THESE ARE SO FREAKING GOOD, THEYRE MY WHOLE LIFE (I mean he is but like..) it says on kprofiles its called gorabab??? someone fact check

AND TO MAKE IT EVEN BETTER HIS FAVOURITE DRINKS ARE COKE, BOBA AND TEA!! WE'RE SO ALIKE!! (except one can skate and one cant :D)

also, I played a game today and we won by idk how many. anyways, there is this one girl that plays for that team. her nickname is triple C or CCC because her eyes are so far apart she looks like a chameleon. and during training camps she would wear the same cheetah print shirt like three out of the five days. that translates to Colour-Changing Cheetah. (shes such a pick me like nobody likes her. she reeks of main-character syndrome fr.)

anyways. there was this time she scored a goal during the game and on her way back to the bench she was showing off to her teammates how she did it. (she spun around and shot it. annoying) to be fair we didn't have our regular goalie and this girl has only played goalie like twice in her life.

and she scored twice within the last 20 seconds of the game.. like girl. let it go.

anyways, we won like 13 or 14 to like 7 or something. ME. I SCORED A WHOPPING, drumroll please...

5 goals. :D

it was a great day. and I got to hangout at my teammates house the rest of the day.

(sorry for being a certified yapper)

love ya!!! <3333

YECHAAAA-*gets shot*

i keep saying how much i want new tricky house episodes but that usually means album on the horizon *touches ground* i feel it coming... it's already in motion (sumin spoiled the vibes, and considering they learned choreo for watch out not even a month after trial and error that album is already pre cooked)

also it's @vanumanum 💜!! i've exposed myself on here before for my silly edits but full warning i 9 times out of 10 forget to post but i've been trying to be more active im just dumb (xikers drop more spooky photos so i can edit sh monsters in them)

5th gen actually pulling out a bunch of good groups ("XLOV DEBUT AAAH" i screm) and honestly considering what company their under it's almost expected (jype boy groups eat)

also me, an illit liker, as tick-tack plays in the bg: 🧍but also understandable (this is fine everyone's entitled to opinions/i can't speak for ive i can't speak for 99% of ggs that's not my area)

oh i've had those before! the korean reads as goraebap but take what i say with the biggest grain of salt because it could be read differently but i think i'm close enough

i love when i understand nothing about sports i was a shotput/discus clown that's all i got :> (i played three way soccer and took a ball to the face i was like ACTUALLY this is not my sport andalsoididntgetalongwithsportsplayers-) but you got five goals!! that's like 36-39% of the teams goals so i'm gonna say you carried for funsies and because i have giving blatant favoritism💜

[vthetease]

my favorite things

it's me birthday

so just incase anyone wanted to know some stuff about V

heres some random info about my life as well as some of my favorite things

i am a libra sun, aquarius moon, capricorn rising

i like dark chocolate more than any other; i have since i first got my period. i like gummy candy and starbursts but my favorite are the little cola bottle candies. i like tea and coffee sweet, but flavorful. i like energy drinks and slushees and wanted my first tattoo to be a cola-mtn dew slushee but it wasnt. i like waffles more than pancakes but would prefer a toaster strudel or muffin. i like apples and lemons and cinnamon and garlic and truffle and black cherries but not maraschino. i dont like onions or cilantro or swiss cheese. i dont like chili because something about the consistency of wet, tomato-ee hamburger makes me ill. i also can't drink hard liquor.

i like smells like thick cologne that lingers and juniper and spearmint and old houses and honeysuckle and the smells of the earth when it stops raining in the summer. i like the smell of other peoples laundry soap and coffee more than my own. i like eucalyptus and aloe and teakwood and dragons blood incense.

i like classic rock from my dad and 80s pop ballads from my mom and afi and lincoln park from my older sibling and 4*TOWN for my younger sibling. one of my earliest loves in music was Paramore, and hayley is an inspiration of mine. i like pop punk and the band ive seen the most is sleeping with sirens, 4 times now. i like hip hop and rnb and acapella and piano. i like music that makes me feel alive. anything from violin to screaming, i just like passion. i'm a very passionate person and always have been despite myself.

i sing and like singing in the car, while i shower, and cook. i am very loud but sometimes can do cool things. i like how singing makes me happy and helps me relate to other people and also my predecessors. i like how i feel connected to those before me through my voice. my first time singing in public was my 4th grade talent show. I sang The Only Exception by Paramore because my parents thought Almost Lover was too dramatic and adult for a 12 year old

i like old movies and i used to fall asleep to them at my grandparents and wake up to them at weekends at my dads apartment. i like musicals like ride the cyclone and drama like the fault in our stars and action like john wick and will always be down for a horror movie. i like get out and candyman and hereditary and black swan and blair witch and creep. i like the twilight zone and rod serling has a special place in my heart. i also like alex trebek from jeopardy, matthew grey gubler, penn badgely, andrew scott, evan peters, and my biggest current celeb crush is matt rife.

i like being alone in busy places. i like to talk to people but i also like to disappear to the other room during the party. im the girl you find sitting outside sometimes smoking, or on the balcony. i enjoy walking back into a concert midsong and seeing all the happy little people being happy. i like stepping away from chaos to appreciate it. i like driving on highways at night when its empty and im high. i like watching airplanes land. i like sleep and i sleep in a tank top and underwear but never socks. my dreams always take me back to this very similiar place every single night doing different tasks with different people. i might start calling it the twilight zone. i like to paint my emotions in my makeup and artwork. i have always felt very deeply and openly.

i like the moon and the stars and it is so fascinating to learn about the same beautiful big rock my ancestors saw. i feel drawn to white butterflies and birds and bumblebees and skinks ( they r tiny lizards). i like history and culture, but im really bad at math.

thats all i can come up with for now. if you have any questions let me know

thanks for reading about me, lmk if youre in love yet

valentine, 22 today <3

[ludinusdaleth]

Heya! Fried cheesecake/fat Allura/a few other asks anon here! I’ve loved talking to ya and I have a few questions 👀

-. Why are you the bearest cub to ever be?!

2. Which character would you most want to see animated fat? Totally fine if it’s unrealistic

3. When I needed to gain weight in recovery, Thai tea was my go to because it didn’t feel overwhelming but had calories and I love it. Do you have any food recomendations for things you love that aren’t ever overwhelming?

4. Which de rolo sibling do you think is the fattest? 👀 I know she isn’t canonically but personally I would fucking love fat vesper. Fat Angel woman 💜 who never had to be hungry like her parents.

aaaaaaa thank you for sending this ask and all the others! you and other folk have truly been a blessing in confidence, creativity, & encouragement (i swear over this past week bc of this my thighs are chafing more and i struggled to fit into one of my pairs of shorts) 🤍 and to keep sending them? very sweet of you, thank you. im glad folk arent too bored of my rambling.

1. this question made me blush. i hope im the bearest cub there ever was, im really really tryin to be. ive fought my states hatred of my existence and my own ill body to get here. maybe thats why im good?

2. artagan i know jester is skinny in m9 animated based off that animatic they showed, but i would have made her curvier. but it's fine she isnt. my bets are thoroughly on wanting yasha & fearne to be. also, marion & birdie! and while i dont see liliana as, in canon, fat, i think giving her a realistic stockier once-birthed-a-child farmgirl build would be really nice.

3. see im kind of looking for help in that department myself, lol, i have some chronic issues that make actually keeping weight on me a bit difficult and only a few things do the trick (i didnt know thai tea could help but good to know! i could use recs). so far i think downing multiple boost drinks a day when i can get them have really helped. funnel cakes & milkshakes, of course. big, hearty, carb filled meals are the ultimate help, but im not always in a position to get them beyond ramen if that counts. sometimes i just go feral and try to eat as many snacks as i can in one sitting and hope that works too. can you tell im very trial and error here

4. vesper absolutely. i can see gwendolyn as well, being the kid who seems most spoiled by her dad and the people of the city for the blessing of her rare existence. both are very cared for, as all the kids are, and whitestone as a farming town vows for no one to be hungry ever again, least of all their children, who never had to witness the dark ages of the briarwoods.

[crguang]

ok honestly im kinda done w genshin atp, like the story is okay, the whitewashing tho is pissing me off tho, um idk, i like the game play, and also i gotta get to sneznaya or wtv when that comes out. and did u just not like the sumeru characters bc more of them are men.../j i still dont have yelan or arle very sad...they're like top 10 genshin characters for me, i was too broke to pull for them when they were running

ALSO that's not what i meant abt natasha, like as a character shes good and i like her, and her story is good, i dont dislike her, what i meant is that i cant be attracted to her, like idk...bc all the stuff u listed i should like her, so like idk. i dont skip story, i did her sq, so maybe it is just the fact that shes a doctor, like that was how she was presented at first and i just cant look past it ok... my mom was a doctor so i just cant...my mommy issues strike again, and i just dont rlly like doctors in general havent had good experiences w them before, so i cant be attracted to one...idk, like ik shes like way more than that. and i did get a few adds for her so its prob that as well that kind messed with my perception of her at the beginning, the only hsr adds i every got continously was kafkas trailer.

tbh i shouldve realized i liked women when i saw kafka dragging her fingers across a wall wish i was that wall with like her voice in the background and that was what made me decide to play the game. they know what they're doing...

speaking of which i got her other two messages, shes ridiculous, like i cant believe she can just go to a movie theater like that, and her checking up on you...i did scream. shes pathetic... honestly her being into phycological thrillers makes sm sense, so she was def seeing one of those. and i think shes exposing herself bc of both of the reasons you listed (also like it being on a burner acc incase she gets rejected...i obviously wasnt mean to her tho).

honestly im just shy sat okay...thats why im an anon, but it is funny, since we're all reading ur smut, and thirsting over everyone together.

i did sleep i promise, i dont really like taking medicine, again doctor stuff, but i'll been taking some melatonin bc last night it took be 3 and a half hours to sleep and ive been drinking tea and stuff, but ill be going to sleep after this. wish me luck.

-🌠

i also wanted to last until snezhnaya like i remember a few years ago when the first fatui trailer dropped after inazuma and my entire timeline went crazyyyy, people who didn’t play the game anymore got back into it just for the fatui like they really united everyone… but since the characters and stories dont do anything for me now i personally never feel like playing. and yes i actually was so bored with sumeru because im not interested in men at all dhfjgkgk but also the whitewashing there pissed me off and how they nerfed dehya and made her a horrible standard character was so annoying like i didnt pull for a single sumeru character 😭 arle/yelan is an insane duo, my yelan is great cause shes been my main for years so she doesn’t need anyone but adding arle is just cheating fr. look at my favs beefing (clorinde was there for the friendship points😪)

i thought you disliked nat because you said your friend thought you disliked her bc she was a doctor, but it makes sense if you’ve had bad experiences with healthcare professionals and are reminded of them when you see doctors. personally i love when people who work in healthcare actually care about the patients they have because it’s quite literally life saving and sooo many of them dont give a fuck, that’s why i adore natasha a lot. it’s totally fine if you’re not attracted to her, you don’t have to be!

kafka’s trailer changed my brain chemistry and i can recite it by heart from how often ive watched it. they definitely knew what they were doing especially with these shots like can i please be that guy… i’ll take the bullet too idgaf. AND YES THE MOVIE THEATER SHES SUCH A LOSERRR, THE “my life is an action movie btw lol haha” when the tb says they like action films is so ridiculous. i need to look up her other answers but when she said the action movies lacked immersion i pat myself on the back for writing that she likes psychological thrillers over horror or any other genre like i know her for real… im literally inside her head.

im glad youre sleeping even if it takes a little while!! hopefully your internal clock stops messing woth you and allows you to get some good rest

[aparticularbandit]

Of A Fatal Captivity: Day Five (II)

Summary: When do they decide that she can’t leave? That they’re going to keep her there no matter what she wants? That’s the day her captivity begins. Is that today?

Some of you will think that this beginning is a gimmick. Up to you! Think what you want! (It’s not a gimmick more than anything else in writing is a gimmick, which is to say, of course, it’s a gimmick, because that’s all writing is, really, isn’t it? A bunch of gimmicks? Some of them more successful than others? Isn’t that why we have tropes? The trappings of a Tragedy to tell us whether that’s really what the story is or not? (Do you know the story you’re in?))

Enough games.

You’re here for something better than that.

Or: Junko Enoshima’s factory reset may or may not be going as planned, and Ryoko Otonashi has plenty of things to say about that. Or will, once she realizes what’s going on.

Chapter Rating: M for Brief Disturbing Imagery. Fic Rating: M for Danganronpa reasons.

TW for Brief Disturbing Imagery.

AO3

previous chapter | next chapter

Book One

Day Five (of a Fatal Captivity).

There’s more tea.

There’s more tea, and Ryoko hides when Teruteru returns, and Mikan doesn’t even let him in the room this time, so it shouldn’t even be an issue, but still, Ryoko hides.  She’d been uncomfortable with the way he looked at her before; it’s harder now, knowing that she doesn’t even look like herself, that he’s ogling someone that isn’t her.  Funny how, even with her memories wiped like a computer that’s blue-screened, Ryoko still knows exactly how she’s supposed to look – knows that this pink-haired, blue-eyed, freckle-less, stick thin creature is not it.  She keeps running her hands through her hair and pulling it in front of her eyes, imagining that when she does it will be the deep cherry red that she remembers, but not matter how much she does this, it’s still a pale bubblegum pink, like someone tried to wash all of that blood red out.

But Ryoko drinks tea, and Ryoko eats chicken noodle soup (which sounds weird, but apparently Teruteru insisted it would be good for her, specifically, and it isn’t bad; it’s warm and pleasant and fills her rumbling stomach without upsetting it), and Ryoko keeps all of that down (because physical illness was not the problem, was never the problem (it’s all mental)), and when Ryoko keeps all of that down, she holds out her arm, and Mikan carefully removes her IV before covering that spot with a cotton ball held in place by a pink band-aid covered with black and white rabbit heads.

Ryoko stares at the band-aid as Mikan runs her thumb along it, smoothing it down.  It seems familiar.  She tries to remember and winces.

“How’s your head?”  Mikan runs her fingers along Ryoko’s forehead, soft and light and gentle.  “Still bothering you?”

“N-n-no.”  Ryoko shakes her head.  It still feels odd for Mikan to touch her like this.  Even if she says she’s a nurse, even if she still acts like a nurse, it’s still hard to believe that she is one.  Especially when she’s still wearing that slutty version of a nurse’s outfit instead of the scrubs she should be wearing.  “Still can’t remember anything, but the pain’s gone!”  She grins up at Mikan cheerily.  “So I can go now, right?” she asks, knowing that the answer will be no, even as she looks hopefully up at her nurse.

Mikan frowns.  Her hands pull together in uncertain fists in front of her chest.  “No,” she says, more certain than her posture suggests.  “I’d like to keep you here for more observation.  You were in a coma for days,” she hesitates before continuing with great effort, “Ryoko, and with your memory gone, I’m not sure you’d be safe.”

Ryoko pouts.  “Yasuke can take care of me!”  She slumps backward against her pillows.  “He’s always been very good at doing that.”  Her lips purse into a scowl.  “Where is he?  He should be here!”  In a sudden burst of inspiration, she glares up at Mikan.  “You aren’t keeping me from Yasuke, are you?  He wasn’t the one keeping me somewhere he shouldn’t, was he?  You didn’t rescue me away from him, did you?”  She shakes her head in disbelief.  “I would never need to be rescued from Yasuke.  We would be all cozy and happy and—”

She almost misses it, the way Mikan slowly grows more and more tense as she speaks, because she’s so slumped over, so focused on the Yasuke she hasn’t seen in what feels like forever (honestly, she can’t remember the last time she saw him!), but then, quite in spite of herself (probably), Mikan lets out a little squeak like a kettle that’s been on the stovetop for too long.  It’s only then that Ryoko glances up and actually pays attention to the nurse, whose face has grown quite red and whose jaw seems so tight it might break.

Ryoko tilts her head to one side.  “Something wrong?”

“N-n-no!” Mikan stutters out, but her face is still bright red.  (She’s lying.)  “Y-y-you’ve just never talked about this – about him – before.”

Ryoko blinks twice.  “About Yasuke?  I’m your…your beloved, but I’ve never, not even once, mentioned Yasuke?”  She blinks a third time.  “Yasuke Matusda?  You’ve never heard of him?”  Then the words slip through her lips before she even knows what she’s saying, before she even understands what the words mean, “The Ultimate Neurologist?”  Her brows furrow almost immediately, and she doesn’t think on it, too afraid that her brain will itch, that thinking on it too much will bring the pain back.  So instead, she asks Mikan, “Hey, hey – what does that even mean?  The Ultimate Neurologist?”

Mikan opens her mouth.  Shuts it again.  This happens twice more, like she’s some sort of gaping fish held in the air and gasping for breath outside of its natural habitat, suffocating surrounded by oxygen she can’t breathe.  “Ryoko,” she says finally, her voice a squeak as she settles next to her on the mattress again, “what do you remember?”

“What did you remember?” the girl with the piranha teeth asks the girl made of silk-covered steel, only her teeth aren’t bared and her eyes are all curious hearts, not the Valentine’s ones or the cartoon ones, but actual human hearts, beating where her eyes should be, all twisted and torn and—

“Ryoko?”

“Huh?”

Ryoko gives a little shake of her head, and it’s like she was never gone in the first place.  She squeezes her eyes tight shut and reopens them as though that will fix everything, but it’s like sometimes Mikan says something and her brain just replaces it with something else, with someone else, with a world or a story that she can’t remember ever being part of.  “Sorry, I—”

“What happened?” Mikan asks, staring at her curiously.  “Just now, what happened?  When you were gone.  Did you see something?”

Remember something?

“N-n-no!  I!”

Ryoko doesn’t know why she lies.  Something tells her that it’s important.  Maybe it’s because the girl with the piranha teeth and the hearts for eyes has strings for hair the exact shade that her hair shouldn’t be but is.  “Just sometimes…sometimes my brain freezes, I guess.”  She offers her a smile – awkward, unsure – and hopes it’s enough to cover her unease.

Before Mikan has an opportunity to say something like, That’s why I need to keep you for observation, Ryoko continues, trying to answer the question that prompted the…the whatever that was in the first place.  “I remember Yasuke,” she says, brow furrowing again.  “I remember Yasuke, and I remember that I’m not supposed to look like this, and….”  Her voice trails up as she examines what else she remembers and comes up blank.  “Nothing else.”  She glances up again.  “I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you,” Mikan says, as though there’s anything to forgive, and she squeaks again within seconds of saying it.  “S-s-sorry!  Th-that’s n-n-not what I—”  She takes a deep breath in, swallows, then reaches out and places her hand, gentle, atop Ryoko’s.  “Can you….”  She lets her breath out, gentle, easy.  “Tell me.  About Yasuke.  Yasuke…Matsuda?”

“Yes!  That’s him!”  Ryoko beams, and she feels wrong because she knows that the smile she’s wearing is on a face that doesn’t look like her, and that makes her distinctly uncomfortable in a way that she can’t describe.  So she says, “If I…if I tell you about him, will you promise me you’ll find him?”  Her lips press together.  “Or at least help me look like me?  Instead of this…this Junko person I’m supposed to be?”  She doesn’t know how else to put her desire into words, and so she struggles with it a bit.  “Maybe,” she says finally, “if I look like me, I’ll remember things better.”

Maybe, if I look like me, Yasuke will be able to find me.

If I ever get out of here.

It’s a stretch.

Ryoko hadn’t even known she looked like someone else until she saw her reflection in the tea, and looking like someone else probably isn’t going to keep her from remembering anything.  That’s not how memories work.  Yasuke’s mom had always looked like herself, and Yasuke had always looked like himself, but that hadn’t mean his mom remembered everything – or anything – the way she was supposed to.

(Mikan always looks like herself, probably, but that doesn’t make it easier for Ryoko to remember her.)

And yet.

Mikan brushes her fingers light through Ryoko’s hair – the hair that is hers but doesn’t look like hers – and seems to consider.  “If you look like you,” she murmurs, “you won’t look like you anymore.”  She frowns as her fingers hit a snag.  “But maybe….”  She picks at it with shorn nails.  “If it helps, then you’ll look like you.”

What?

Ryoko can’t follow Mikan’s logic.  “Of course, if I look like me, I’ll look like me!”  She grins up at her.  “So you’ll help me?  With cutting off these nails and fixing my hair and…and whatever’s wrong with my eyes?”  At her words, her eyes suddenly itch, like there’s something wrong with them, and she rubs at them with the back of one hand.

“I can….”  Mikan waits, considers, stares at Ryoko’s eyes.  “I can fix them now, I…I think.”

Ryoko’s eyes widen.  “You can?”  She leans forward, pushing her face close to Mikan’s.  “What’s wrong with them?  Are they broken?  Have I not been getting enough sleep?”  Her lips purse together.  “No, can’t be that.  A coma’s kind of like sleeping, right?  So I should have more than enough sleep—”

“No, no, it’s nothing like that!”  Mikan’s gaze drops, focusing on her fingertips as they just touch together.  “It’s just….  Once, when I woke up, Junko wasn’t there with me.  I-I-I mean, it wasn’t just once, b-b-but.  Um.”  Her face flushes a bright red.  “I-I-I found her leaning forward in the bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror, and poking at something…at something in her eye.”  She tugs her lower lip between her teeth.  “I…I think you have contacts in.  I think that’s why your eyes are bothering you.  She’d probably have changed them by now, if….”  Her voice trails off again.

Ryoko’s eyes just grow wider.  “Euyah?”  She blinks rapidly.  “Contacts?  I have contacts?”  She grabs Mikan’s hand with both of hers, choosing to ignore the way Mikan immediately tense up again, the way she squeaks.  “How do I get them out?  I’ve never worn contacts before!  I need to get them out!”

Mikan avoids Ryoko’s gaze, her own dropping to where Ryoko’s hands hold tight to hers.  A sort of smile crosses her lips before she says, “It should be muscle memory.  Even if…if you don’t remember, Junko does.  Your body does.  Just like walking or breathing or riding a bike.”  She turns her hand beneath Ryoko’s and interlaces their fingers.  “Here.  Let me…let me help you.”

~

Every time Ryoko sees a finger coming towards her eye, she flinches.

It doesn’t matter if it’s her finger or Mikan’s.  She flinches.

Which is the least helpful thing of all when she’s trying to get contacts out.

It takes a full thirty minutes to get the first one out, and even after that success, it takes another forty-five to get the other one.  Even when she knows it doesn’t hurt to get the contact out, she still flinches, still blinks, still shrinks away.

It’s just another bullet in Ryoko’s gun, another reason she absolutely cannot be this Junko Enoshima person.  Whatever muscle memory she should have to take contacts out is just not there.  (Probably whatever muscle memory she has to put them in, too, although she’s not going to tempt fate by trying to do that.)

But after both contacts are out, after she blinks and blinks and blinks until her eyes don’t itch anymore, Ryoko looks up into the mirror, meets her own eyes, and gives a soft sigh of contentment.  Everything else about her might look wrong – the hospital gown, the bubblegum pink hair, the mascara tracks that she will definitely be washing off momentarily (along with all of the make-up cake on her face) – but her eyes, finally, look right.

She beams.

“See?” Ryoko says, pointing at herself in the mirror.  “That looks like me!”  Her lips purse to one side, frustrated.  “My hair should be that color, too, but….”  She turns to Mikan, who just stares at her, and her head tilts to one side.  “What’s wrong?”

“N-n-nothing!” Mikan exclaims, eyes widening in similar shock.  She bites her lower lip.  “O-o-only you look like….”  Her voice trails off, and she shakes her head rapidly.  “Sorry!”  A blush creeps across her cheeks.

Ryoko averts her gaze and catches sight of the imprints where her claw-like nails dug into Mikan’s skin.  Before, they’d dripped a sparkling bright pink, but now—

Now she only sees red.