dontexpectmuch

[dontexpectmuch]

—— a snippet about the story i mentioned earlier! even though its nit exactly about vincent, i still like him, he’s cool :)

NOT EDITED

————

“bro, just let me tag along, c’mon.”

Vinnie follows jack to the front door, bag pack on his shoulders, cappy on backwards. It’s the perfect outfit to fit in, a cool college student who is going to meet up with his friends to work on a project. Chill. If only he actually was a student going out to meet his friends on campus.

Its just that said friend wont let him tag along, nor has he any way to contact the other friend, as he simply couldn’t find [name]s instagram profile, no matter how hard he tried.

Who the fuck follows two thousand plus people anyway? Jack is crazy, that’s for sure.

“dude, listen, I love you, id press you against that wall and make out with you-“

“woah, okay that’s a bit too much-“

“-but I really need to finish this up. [name] has some other courses and I have a stream scheduled outside of LA. Today’s the day, y‘know.”

Vinnie bends down to slip on his sneakers, voice eager, “and ‘m not ‘bout to annoy you guys. Ill just be quiet, doing my stuff.”

“like what, read manga?”

He shrugs, “sure.”

Jack pats his friends shoulder, “then do it at home. you’re goddamn vinnie hacker, my wet dream-“

“you too, man.”

“and probably every other girls’ as well. I cant risk getting swarmed or whatever, [name] would kill me, and she’s got a mean punch, so.”

Vinnie takes a deep breath. He doesn’t want to use this resource; it’s something he doesn’t really enjoy. Though his dear friend does not leave him with any other option.

That is why he claps his hands together, pulling his lower lip out to a nasty pout and putting on his best puppy eyes, a performance for the theatre.

“pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease-“

“shut the fuck up and get your car keys.”

Too easy. Way too easy.

[dontexpectmuch]

yall fuck with vinnie hacker? like,,,, as a person for a story???

[dontexpectmuch]

maybe i liked how the reader ignored jude and he felt the way reader was feeling before🤭.

could u do a part 2 where they find each other in madrid and jude start liking her and she does what jude did to her, u can choose if there’s going to be or not a happy ending 😄.

(no pressure, take care🩵).

i was actually thinking of first writing the events from judes perspective!!! but thats also a nice approach, i will definitely try to make it as angsty as possible!!!

[dontexpectmuch]

anyone wanna connect via instagram 😔

[dontexpectmuch]

https://www.tumblr.com/dontexpectmuch/781075666891390976/jude-bellingham-x-reader-he-knows-that-you-like

i want more…😞 (u wrote it so well it had me stopping and talking alone about it💔💔💔)

hihhihiihihi

i love me some good angst 🥰

may i know what exactly you liked? if u dont mind, ofc!

[dontexpectmuch]

depending on how much you guys liked the new piece i wrote about reader feeling used and moving on, i might whip out judes perspective!!!

lmk if youre interested ;)

[dontexpectmuch]

jude bellingham x reader he knows that you like him, and even though he does not reciprocate your feelings, he simply can't stay away from you - giving you false hope over and over again, until... well, until you decide to move on.

you always had a soft spot for Jude, ever since the two of you met and became good friends, you quickly realized that saying 'no' to him would never be an option.

you first met through a mutual friend back in germany, gio reyna, whom you met because of your university course and such. it was a pure coincidence, you just needed something from him and went to pick it up after he had finished training, and that is where you first met him - jude bellingham.

it wasn't all cinematic, no emotion came crushing down on you when your eyes first met. instead, it was quiet, creeping up from behind, lurking in the shadows and gently taking a hold of you until you couldn't fight it off any longer.

what first began with a harmless follow request on instagram, later evolved into exchanging numbers and talking on a daily basis.

while you worked on your seminar presentations, jude would simply hit you up with a message, asking whether you wanted to hang out with him and a few friends or not. you were a studious person, pushing back your presentation wouldn't be bad, just for a night.

perhaps that is when you should have noticed it, that giddiness, that weird feeling in your stomach and the deep breaths you took every now and then, trying to calm your nerves- from what, you didn't know back then. now, you are aware, though it doesn't matter anymore.

you knew that jude was, or well, still is, a handsome guy, anyone with functioning eyes could tell that much. you were also well aware how popular he was with the ladies; charming smile, British accent, his big, sparkling eyes and the respectful stance he had whenever he talked to someone was enough to sweep anyone off their feet - even you.

so, when the evening you decided to meet up arrived, your hands nervously dancing along the hem of your shirt, eyes darling around the bar, searching for his broad figure, you were met with a gut that shouldn't have shocked you as much as it did back then.

it was stupid, really, getting hurt by such sight. him being surrounded by a few stunning women, who were definitely older than him, not that jude cared, apparently. young, handsome, and successful, who wouldn't want to indulge in that?

but you bit through, you still had a great time with your, actually his, friends, got a few new connections and talked with jude as well, though it wasn't as long as you wished.

a beat, and suddenly you found yourself being friends with jude for a year already, and you still could not decline whenever he invited you out, only to not pay you any attention. you had told your friends about the situation, though you never mentioned it was the young bvb star you had a bright future ahead of him. and your best friend would always tell you to get your shit together, to realize how badly you were being treated and that you deserved better.

but they didn't know him - not in the way that you did! he wasn't like that, no. because at least once during the evenings you spent together, he comes up to you, broad smile and pearly whites flashing, his arms inviting you for a hug. then, he'd ask you about your day, tell you something about his, and would always, always, hype you up if you felt insecure about your studies. because that's who he is, one of the kindest people ever.

you couldn't tell when he knew, you couldn't even tell when you did. but somehow along the lines, perhaps during one of your outings, he must have come to the very true conclusion that, oh, would you look at that - you liked him. even more than as just a friend.

you guess that is why he started to invite you out even more, though for the most bizarre reasons ever; he needed someone to pick him up from the club in the middle of the night, and he'd contact you.

at first you told yourself that it was due to the fact that he trusted you, more than anyone. a sweet lie, you chuckle as you think back to that time. how nervous you felt, trying your very best to look good even though he was wasted and wouldn't even look at you, too tired to keep his eyes open.

and that was how it always played out; he would call you if he needed someone to drive him somewhere, called you when he was bored and his other friends were too busy to hang out, called you because you always said 'yes'.

jude wasn't a bad person, he was still one of the kindest people you knew, even if he treated you as a last resort, he'd still keep the conversation going, still laughed and joked around with you, made you feel appreciated, he genuinely did!

you just wished that he would perhaps invite you to a game, give you his shirt to wear as you would watch him run around the field. you'd never lift your eyes off of him, you would dedicate so much to him.

he simply didn't care, you assume now. you can remember it as if it was just yesterday, when he told you that he invited someone else to a very important game.

"yeah, we went on a few dates, she also wants to watch me play." jude chuckled, growing as he stretched his arms to loosen up some tension built in his shoulders, "i'll try to score and dedicate it to her, bet she'll fall for me then."

and all you could do was muster up a smile, praying that it was convincing enough, all while you felt your heart slowly crumble down inside of you, scratching along your flesh.

you didn't cry, no, you weren't that sensitive, you guess. but it still hurt, watching him just move on with his life, looking at everyone with a certain interest, everyone but you.

that was when the self doubt came nagging on your ears, then moving up to your mind, ugly nails clinging along your head. it served as a constant reminder that he would never give you the chance you deserved - you deserved him.

you always helped him, never declined any of his offer! who else, if not you, could stand by his side and support him through thick and thin?

though, it seems to be true that even the most passionate among us could lose their spark. even if you still hoped him whenever he asked for help, you found yourself caring less and less about your appearance. suddenly, whenever his name popped up in your notifications, instead of your heart speeding up, you began to sigh in exhaustion, sitting your eyes to calm yourself before you answered.

and even though you still could never say 'no' to him, you found another way to not jump at any request he sent your way - you simply ignored his messages. or well, you muted them, causing you to see his messages hours after he had sent them.

your friends must have also noticed the shift in your attitude towards that guy you liked, because all of a sudden, you'd agree to meet up with them to go out for some drinks, something you usually had declined in case that jude called for you.

you even flirted with some guy, enjoying the attention that you had sought from another previously. even though you didn't want anything serious to happen with that guy, and as mean and selfish as it sounds, the attention you got from him that night boosted your confidence quite a bit. it made you realize that you were never the problem to begin with.

all these negative emotions, all the doubts, all the self consciousness you felt back then comes rushing down at you as you find yourself standing in front of a confused jude.

yo can't explain how he has found you, since you are still on university grounds, but that isn't the main focus of the situation you are currently in.

there he is, looking as handsome as ever, fresh trim and comfortable clothes, his eyes narrowed down at you.

"what is wrong with you?" he demands, the respectful tone you once oh so liked seemed to be gone.

flatly, "what?"

you have better things to do now, and if he couldn't get to his pint properly, you simply would walk away.

your eyes watch him as he takes a deep breath, as if to calm himself before he speaks up, "I called you so many times, yesterday, the day before. is your phone broken? want me to get you a new one?"

you don't know if it is to provoke him, or simply just to show it to him, but you hold your phone up, waving it slightly, "nope, still in tact."

that seems to anger him, "then why," he starts, voice falling deep, "why aren't you answering whenever i call you-"

"exam season, i'm kinda busy, you know?"

"too busy to talk for five minutes?"

"I guess."

he scoffs, hands placed on his hips, "i got some news, and, yeah. i guess you'd like to know."

of course, you did. you always do, but you don't want to fall into the same pattern that ate you up those last years. so, instead of saying anything, you decide to keep quiet, though your eyes are still focused on him, as if to tell him to continue.

he picks up your demand, "i'm transferring to madrid, i'll be moving next week."

you know you promised yourself to be nonchalant, you really try, but after hearing the new, you feel your mouth dry up.

your eyes widen slightly, and your throat seems to close up as well.

fucking...

"oh," you clear your throat, "well, uh, congrats! you always wanted to play there."

even though you genuinely meant it, it seems like your words madden jude more than ever, "that's it? 'congrats'?"

"what else do you want me to say? do you want me to cry and beg you to stay here?"

jude turns his head to the side, briefly closing his eyes. his tongue pokes against the inside of his cheek, and it looks like he tries his very best to stay calm, as if he couldn't believe what you just have said to him.

"why are you being like this?" is what he asks instead, now looking back at you.

this time, it is you who scoffs, not believing what you are hearing right now, "listen, i am genuinely happy for you, jude-"

"oh, so now we are back to first name basis, huh?" he interrupts, saying your name in a tone colder than you have ever witnessed.

whatever.

you continue, not in the mood to go along with his tantrum, "i am happy for you, and will always support you, but - yeah. i, uh, i gotta now, i have a date-"

"with whom?" he interrupts once again, but you don't care anymore.

"so, i guess i'll see you? maybe? yeah." you nod, whether it is to convince him or yourself, you don't know. but you have to leave right now, or else you might break down and yell at him.

without even looking at him, you force a smile, turn your head away and continue your walk towards the library, like you have had initially planned before jude cut you off.

the tension creeps to your shoulders, the books in your arms suddenly heavier than ever.

that hurt more than you'd like to admit.

but, it's too late anyway.

-----------

i am in love with my hot italian literature lecturer. like,,, yeah <3

didn’t proofread!!!!

[dontexpectmuch]

just read part three of the rúben dias neighbour fic !!!! love the characters development, the fic is soooo well written thank you so much

thank you so so so so much! I didn't know that you guys liked it that much! that idea came to me while I was at work, but seeing how well it worked out just - aahhhh!!

thank you for your kind and encouraging words, makes me and my writing feel appreciated!!

[dontexpectmuch]

im gonna be so fr rn i sometimes forget just HOW MUCH i have already written??

like, i genuinely forgot that i wrote some stuff for jude or the others, and when i go through my masterlist i am just confronted with the fact that ive done so much????

i started this account out of pure spite, look where it has gotten us,,

[dontexpectmuch]

Would love to read more fics with Ruben ❤️

thank u so much!!

if there is anything you would like to read in particular, just let me know!

i hope that i am characterizing him properly hahaha

[dontexpectmuch]

neighbor!rúben dias x reader

somewhere between friendship and growing comfortable with being around each other, it seems like rúben and you dance along the fineline of being even more than neighbors turned friends. though, neither of you felt the urge to address whatever was going on between you two, simply appreciating the time spent together.

[part one] [part two] part three!

**

you hate it all.

you hate that stupid train that always stinks like someone threw up in each and every wagon, you hate the fast paced step you have to fall into as soon as you step into the laboratory building, and you especially hate when it starts to rain and you forget to bring your umbrella with you.

just like you happen to forget today. but it truly wasn't your fault! it is april, and you genuinely believed that the grey days were left behind for the time being. but then again, you live in manchester, a place where the weather conditions never followed any rules, no matter what season it was.

biting back a loud [and very necessary] groan, you put your head into your neck as you look up, glaring at the grey clouds which are pouring their hearts out, as if to mock you. for what, you didn't know, but it definitely feels like they are making fun of you and your current situation, you being stuck here and perhaps risking getting sick if you dare to run through the rain to get to your station underground.

once you get back home, you weren't sure how, but as soon as you got back, you'd definitely-

your thoughts for revenge are interrupted by the loud vibration merging from the pocket of your thin, and sadly not waterproof, trench coat, grounding you for a second.

squeezing your eyes shut, you try to calm yourself before you reach to take out your phone, frown immediately vanishing as you see the contact name.

[rúben sent a new message!] it read, and you feel no shame as you open it as fast as you could.

[from: rúben:] are you still at work?

when your fingers move to tell him about your current situation, you hear a loud honk coming from right in front of you, your eyes briefly glancing up to look at whoever did it, but staying stuck when you see the all too familiar car of your dear neighbor.

you whisper his name to yourself, shoulders sacking, as if all the tension is being lifted by this sole presence. you can see his broad smile through the window, his hand signaling you to come in quickly.

you waste no time to follow his instructions, heart roaring with relief as soon as your body meets the pre-heated seats, "hey." you greet him as you close the door behind yourself, turning towards him.

"hello there, neighbor." he chuckles, smiling at you once more before his eyes focus on the road as he starts driving.

thousands of different questions shoot through your head as you try to find the correct one to ask him first, how'd he know that you were still there, how did he know which entrance to come to, how-

"you look traumatized." rúben breaks the silence first, eyes scanning your body briefly, taking in the way you sit with your hands clasped in your lap, eyes wide and never leaving his figure.

you looked... cute, dare he say? though he wouldn't say it out loud, he wouldn't want to make you feel uncomfortable.

the soft foreign music playing in the background with the rain clashing against the windshield gives this whole situation a very comfortable and meaningful vibe, though you couldn't really explain it. just being here with rúben, his entire being screamed warmth and comfort, something you craved the more you are nearing your apartment building.

you nod, head resting against the seat, "i kinda feel like that," you tilt your head to look at the window, eyes following two drops that are racing against it, "the rain came so unexpectedly, i don't even know what to think."

rúben hums, fingers drumming against the steering wheel, eyes focused, "good thing i saw you. you looked like a wet baby kitten, all cold and still angry."

"i was angry, actually!" you laugh, somewhat amused that it was so obviously present on your face.

though said anger is long forgotten as you talk with rúben about your day,. you can't understand what exactly happens inside your brain - even though your entire work involves working with and about the human brain - but you feel happy and warm the more time you spend with him.

rúben isn't a carefree man, he doesn't live life spontaneously without planning days ahead, but whenever you meet him, whenever you exchange even just a few words, you feel as if you could do whatever you pleased, mind freed from an concern you held on to before. perhaps it is the protective air around him, the way he spoke as if he was responsible for your well-being the very first evening the two of you met, you couldn't put your finger on it.

you hope you help him feel better, too. even if it is for just a few hours, you hope he knows how much you appreciate him, how much he has enriched your life completely. you hope you can do the same to him, even if not now, you hope it happens one day.

the giddiness inside you lasts until the very last step that takes you to your front door, hand resting on your doorknob and cheeks hurting with how much you have laughed for the past half an hour.

"nice to see that my suffering amuses you." rúben playfully rolls his eyes, back resting against his own door, hands buried inside the pockets of his coat.

you shrug, "maybe you shouldn't tell me about all the embarrassing stuff you do at training, then."

"I don't do it on purpose," he groans, pushing himself off the door to fish out his keys, "it simply happens to mw, and I happen to want to share it with my favorite neighbor."

"I'm the only neighbor you actively talk to."

"still my favorite."

you hate your heart for leaping there for a second, damn him and his deep, honey like voice, and his smooth words that sound even better due to his accent. you think you'll never get used to his voice, no matter how many times you talk, no matter how often replay his audio messages. you'd never admit it, not wanting to come off as some weird person, and it isn't even your fault. he just has thisndistingumsh way of speaking, the words he chooses and the way he pronounces certain words are just, yeah.

you roll your eyes again, "yeah, yeah. just go and eat, or whatever you usually do after training." you try to play it off, that stutter in your heart.

"aye, captain. anything else?"

"those drinks from last week, around eight?"

"around eight."

--

and this is how you find yourself in your current position on your couch, back leaning against the armrest and feet tucked under rúbens thighs.

the drink he had brought held between your hands, eyes focused on the show that was playing and the rain still gently knocking against your window fall created this homey feeling you were craving the entire day.

rúben, ever the hard working man, decided to work on some stuff his manager needed, laptop on top of his lap, one hand clicking through files as the other massages your calf muscles.

as much as you try to focus on the events in your show, you can't seem to concentrate, his firm grip around your leg distracting you far too much. but, you wouldn't dare to speak up, afraid that he might retract his hand and that you wouldn't be able to his touch again.

you have spent majority of your week with rúben inside of your apartment, at times the two of you simply co-working on your own stuff, other times talking about whatever came to your mind, enjoying the presence of the other.

and because of this new constant, you have felt less lonely as you did before, thus also seeing your friends less. they didn't seem to notice at first, but ever since you stopped reaching out as much as you did back then, they started to press you for answers. you love them too much to ever lie to them, so you just told them the ground stuff. you connected with your neighbor, the two of you get along splendidly and spend evenings together to unwind from tiring work days.

that rúben is a well known footballer, and devastatingly handsome as well, you kept to yourself. no need to stir a pot that would overflow anyway.

your eyes find their new focus on his side profile, soaking in all the little details with practiced ease. you know that he noticed you staring at him, but you also know that he doesn't mind, especially when you feel his hand slowly rising up your leg, towards your knee before he gently caresses your leg some more.

its astounding how close the two have gotten in this short period of time, it's been somewhat a month of you two hanging out multiple times a week, yet you never were short on any topics for conversations, or simply basking in the comfort the other radiated.

"when are you leaving tomorrow?" he speaks up after a while, you raise your head from the pillow that you had propped against the armrest, brows drawn together.

"from home?"

"yeah."

you think that he is joking, but decide to answer anyway, "same as usual."

"I'll drive you." he says, finally closing his laptop and exchanging it'd place on his lap with your feet, which have warmed up nicely underneath his thighs.

his hands rest on your ankle when you speak up, "but isn't the facility on the other side of town?"

"not really, it's only a minute or two." he shrugs first, then raises his arms above his head to stretch a bit.

"oh," you feel your stomach flutter, ugh, "sure, thanks."

"same time as usual, yeah?"

your voice comes out meek, "yeah."

fucking great.

--

a loud yawn leaves his lips as rúben shuts off his alarm, blanket barley covering his upper body and the warm rays of sun peeking through the blinds whispering to him, asking for five more minutes.

training yesterday truly drained him, and if it wasn't for the excitement rushing through his veins, he definitely would've stayed for a few minutes longer.

but when he thinks back to yesterday evening, with your feet on his lap and your warm smile touching his as you thanked him for his kind offer, he simply couldn't stay still any longer and immediately gets out his bed. he goes on with his usual routine, making his bed, taking a ginger shot and then moving towards the bathroom to do everything else.

though, he finds himself trimming his beard carefully, more so than he usually does. he even stops for a second when he realizes how much care he puts into his hair, even the confusion seems to stay stuck, even multiplying, when he finds himself lost and unsure of what to wear.

all he has to do is wear something casual, get into his car and then change into his training gear. but, that isn't all. because, today, today is different.

today he wouldn't only get into his car and drive in comfortable silence, no.

instead, you would be there as well, sitting in his passenger seat, perhaps looking at him with your curious eyes, just like you always do. perhaps you would also try to fight off a sleepy yawn, mumbling something about how time is a capitalistic scam.

as soon as he stepson of doorway, and sees your door opens well, with you stepping out soon after, rúben immediately feels better about himself.

it might sound mean, and that is never his intention, but seeing you so sleepy and loose makes him feel better about his state, like a shot of espresso that is injected through his veins.

"thank god today's friday." you grumble, fastening your seatbelt.

rúben can see you practically melt into the seat as soon as he turns on the heating, a satisfied smirk pulling on the corner of his lips. you are so easy to please, and your reactions are simply the best.

the way you not only express with your voice and the tone of it, but also your whole face; lips pursing when you think about what to tell him next, eyebrows rising when he tells you something about his day that you find interesting, the apple of your cheek lifting as you smile at his not-so-funny joke. talking to you felt rewarding, in more than just one way.

"you getting out earlier today?" he asks, eyes darting to your figure for a second.

you nod, tired smile on your lips, "yeah, semester is slowing down for a bit, and I get to work from home starting next week."

"ah," rúben remembers, you briefly told him about it, "you will be checking some midterm reports, yes?"

"yeah."

rúben thinks to himself for a second, perhaps he'd be able to invite you to one of his games next week? you wouldn't be as tired as you usually are, and maybe would have enough energy to dedicate one weekend day to him, that'd be nice, actually.

he'll ask you later, rúben decides as he watches you close the door of his car, smiling at him gratefully. he can't seem to take his eyes of you as he watches you walk into the every building he picked young at yesterday.

only after you have fully disappeared, he drives off, unconscious smile never leaving his lips.

he hopes you'll accept.

——————

do u even love me 🙂‍↔️

didn’t proofread!!!!!!!!! hihi heheh

[dontexpectmuch]

you're writing again omg !!! hope you're doing good

can I please request part three of your neighbour serie with ruben dias if it's possible with you ?? thank you <3

i didnt know that you lot liked this one so much! ill try to finish something up, uni just started and Im sick, but ill try my very best!

[dontexpectmuch]

sorrry i did not see your rules!! can you do jude x reader mornings and light kisses?

all's good! hope you enjoy!

-------

the loud groaning merging from your bedroom paints a smile across your tired face, your mind already imagining your boyfriends eyebrows pulling together and how hands trying to wash away the rest belonging of sleep on his face.

it has been some time since you got up, your internal clock not granting you to sleep in just like your boyfriend does. but that just allows you to bask in the moment, to look at his calm face, the one that usually expresses so much within seconds, no emotion ever staying hidden for long.

you hum to yourself, you and the coffee machine making the only noise in your bright kitchen, table all ready to enjoy a nice breakfast and some quiet before Jude has to leave for practice.

it is something you actually copied from his mother back then, when the two of yo spent the weekend together and had breakfast at biscuits place before moving with whatever you had planned. Denise, his mother, ever the angel she is, prepared a beautiful breakfast table, not only packed with proteins and all different kinds of drinks, but food and dishes you'd normally see on tv shows.

yo believe that was what got you into cooking and preparing a nice meal for the one you love. when thinking back to the warmth, the comfort and that feeling of home you felt when sitting on the chair to eat that breakfast, you can feel the motivation pulsing through your veins, almost desperate to make Jude feel that same kind of love and affection whenever you could.

perhaps that is the reason you are so immersed in your thoughts, fully blending away your surroundings, and why you do not hear those footsteps slowly approaching you from behind. you also do not realize that he has brought the blanket with him, only when you feel yourself losing your sight and being swept off your feet, loud shriek escaping your throat and multiple curse words following.

"what the fuck!" your voice is muffled, though loud enough to make Jude giggle as he carries you in his arms, moving to god knows where.

his arms are closed around you upper body, hindering you from smacking him as hard as you could, "william, what the fuck are you-"

you are thrown onto some soft surface, you guess its your bed, and before you can even merge from that blanket wrapping, Jude half-heartily throws himself on top of you.

"mh," he begins, sighing loudly, "better."

his arm hugs your waist, just as you finally pulled your head out of the blanket cocoon, "what are you doing?" you demand, voice matching the sternness in your eyes.

he sighs once more [you want to smack that sigh out of him], his eyes closed and leg now laced across yours, "i woke up."

"con-fucking-gratulations?"

he ignores your anger, continuing, "as i was saying," he starts again, "i woke up, reached out to my side, to cuddle with my amazing, gorgeous, breathtaking, show-stopping-"

"get to the point, love." you roll your eyes and place your head on his shoulder, eyes still holding a certain sternness in them, though your body couldn't help but melt into his.

jude scoffs, "well, i wanted to cuddle, and you weren't there, so i had to don what anyone in my position would have done."

"scare the shit out of me?"

"you might call it 'scaring the shit out of you', which is totally unprofessional, by the way," he earns a headbutt against his shoulder, "I call it romantic get away a la Shakespeare. that's just me, though."

this time, it is you, who groans, "jude, something must be seriously wrong with you."

"the only thing that is seriously wrong is you getting up without cuddling me first!"

"i was preparing some nice breakfast, you know?"

"could've cuddled with me first." he says, shrugging and tightening his hold around you.

exhaling through your nose, you decide to accept your fate.

"could you at least help me get out of this cocoon?"

"nah," jude changes his position to get comfortable, "makes you look cute, babe."

you sigh, knowing that you could never win this game before snuggling deeper into his side. you guess you'll let it slide this time. especially when jude starts to pepper light kisses along your forehead.

----------------------

got sick and am bitchless but id never let you be sick and bitchless as well.

[dontexpectmuch]

Heard you’re looking for requests…

Flo has like nine siblings so what better trope than „best friends older brother“ 👀 maybe going to a game with one of his sisters and meeting him there?

“do you have the cards?” you ask julia, putting on your seatbelt and starting the car.

its windy and rainy outside and you feel relief wash over you as you turn on the heater inside the car, anything to make your hands gain feeling again.

julia settles down in the passenger seat before looking at you, smiling as she rolls her eyes at your question.

“jaha, you asked me this thrice already. i have the QR codes that flo sent me yesterday.”

you nod, “yeah, okay, just making sure.”

you have never met her younger brother before, only heard about his huge achievements and his talent that made him become one of the most popular youngsters of the current football world. you don’t even support bayer leverkusen if you are being honest, so the shock you felt when julia, your friend of three years, invited you to one of their home games was a lot.

“are you nervous?” she asks, eyes looking at your side profile as yours stay focused on the road ahead.

were you nervous? maybe, you didn’t know for sure. you actually had no idea why you felt the way you do, as if any wrong movement would get you sent home.

“don’t know.” you simply shrugged, deciding to tell your friend the truth, “i guess it’s just, you know, i never met florian before and now i am going to one of his games, and, ugh. don’t know.”

julia giggles at your statement, patting your shoulder gently, “he doesn’t bite. at least not immediately.”

you smile to yourself and roll your eyes, siblings.

“besides, the jerseys color suit you really well, you should become a fan.” she continues, leaning back against the seat.

you hum, not really sure what to say about it. but it didn’t matter anyway, you would just watch this one game and probably won’t go to any other game afterwards, no need to overthink anything.

the car ride was filled with music and laughter, the two of you always found a way to have fun and share stories with one another. that’s something you always appreciated about your friendship with julia. before you knew it, you guys arrived at the parking lot for private guests, and suddenly all the nerves you felt before came back.

“let’s go.” julia smiles at you, unbuckling her seatbelt as she opens the car door.

you nod and copy her moves, trying to calm yourself down a bit.

it didn’t matter anyway, you remind yourself and follow julia, her confident steps proving that it is definitely not her first time being here.

**

the stadium is buzzing with energy and excitement from the crowd, fans loudly chanting and waving around. julia and you were seated quite close to the field, a rather quiet section with many other friends, families and partners of players. your eyes dart around the space, not being used to see that many people in one place.

“it won’t take long!” julia shouts to your direction, hoping you hear her voice among all the noise around you.

you smile and show her thumbs up, “can’t wait!”

julia laughs, her eyes now moving to look at the field. a lout about leaves her lips and she starts clapping, waking your curiosity as everyone else around you did the same. you see the players walking onto the field, confident and ready to take the victory. your eyes scan the people in black, wanting to get a glimpse of your friends brother.

“flo!” julia yells for her brother, enthusiastically waving at him.

you follow her vision and see him there, his eyes now meeting yours as he, too, raises his hand to wave at you guys. you wave back, happy to finally spot him.

“easy win.” julia smirks at you, her eyes now filled with determination.

you could tell from miles away that she is really proud of her little brother and how much she loves him. her support for him was endless, and even though it is your first time attending a game, you knew from stories told by her how intense these games could get. but leverkusen are on a no loss streak, winning against almost all their opponents this season. and now, looking around and seeing the support the players get from the endless fans filling the stadium, you understood how much of importance it is to have people believing in you.

the game, the screaming, half-time, and everything passes before you can realize, the adrenaline you felt throughout the entire game still very much present as it rushes through your veins. julia and you spent the entire game yelling at the top your lungs, not only that but you also pretended to be the coach and gave orders as if anyone on the field would be able to hear you.

all in all, the game was amazing, leverkusen obviously won and the players left with nothing less than smile the field to get changed. you were told by your friend that the two of you would drive back with florian accompanying you, since todays game was a home game and he got the permission to leave with you guys.

hence, the two of you were leaning against the car parked in the private lot, spirits high and eyes bright,

"I'm so happy for you, you have no idea." julia smiles at you, her voice hoarse and cheeks flushed.

"huh? why's that?"

shrugging, she leans back against the car, looking forward, "well, I love you, were are best friends, and I kinda took your football game virginity."

"eh-" you begin, but are interrupted when a voice behind you suddenly butts in.

"you took whose virginity?!"

turning around, you immediately meet eyes with him, florian.

he looks refreshed, hair still damp from the shower [or maybe sweat?] that he took, hands buried in the pockets of his training vest and bag slung on his shoulder.

"that thing over there," Julia starts, nodding her head to where you stand, and, ouch, "has never been to a game before, thought ill take her with me and all that."

florian nods, eyes settling back to you, "did you enjoy it? if i had known, I would have dedicated my goal to you."

you feel the heat rushing to your face, fuck.

"uh, yeah." scratching your arm, you try to calm your nerves, " it was really cool, and you were amazing, so, yeah."

he flashes you a lazy smile, opening the door to the backseat to put his bag inside the car, "let's go home, or are you planning to live here?" he rolls his eyes at his sister, who flips him off before getting inside the car.

"not you, though." florian rushes to tell you, clearing his throat, "we can chill a bit, or-"

this time, you decide to interrupt him, "no, you're right. let's get going."

the drive back is filled with teasing and banter from the two siblings and laughter from your side, florian trying to protect his dignity whenever Julia decides to tell an embarrassing story, and you exposing your friend about all the stuff she said back during the match.

tension only ever rises when Julia decides to stop by the gas station to get some drinks, leaving you and her brother alone inside the car.

what are you supposed to do now? turn around? play with your phone?

just as you are about to open some random app, florian speaks up, his voice raspy, "do you have instagram?"

"uh, yeah." you turn around to take his phone, following yourself on his account and giving it back.

why are you getting hot all of a sudden?

"and," he begins once more, watching you as you accept his request and follow him back, "uh, like, do you have a boyfriend?"

you clear your throat, your neck feels impossibly hot, "no, I don't."

"perfect."

just as you are about ask him what exactly he meant, the door to the drivers side opens again and Julia throws whatever drink she bought into your lap, "the cashier was such an ass!"

you smile at your friend, though your mind is occupied with the question you wish to ask florian.

guess you'll have to find another time.

------------------------------

hehe hoho hihi

[dontexpectmuch]

hi!

these days, I kinda got the urge to write some again! please send me any kind of request, or even something that has been on your mind recently!

[dontexpectmuch]

I just binged all your works and HOLY SH*T YOU’RE AMAZING 😭🙏

I saw that you’re on hiatus, but pls if you feel like writing again pretty please do a part two for that Pedri angst where he cheats 🙏🙏 I wanna see him suffer without reader and feeling the regret eat his soul, like realizing nothing feels right without her, missing her even during the smallest things, like brushing his teeth during the morning etc (I’m totally not a sadistic person btw) I’m a sucker for good angst and so far haven’t seen anyone in the football writing community execute it better than you

you asked so I shall deliver

he couldn't remember anything from the last weeks, not that it was of any importance. everything has always felt like some kind of routine, getting up, getting ready for training or whatever he had to do on that day, finishing his activities and then coming back to an empty apartment, the sun peeking through the blinds he didn't even bother to pull up.

he was told that going out and spending some time in the sun, with his friends and doing what he did the best, playing football, would definitely help, would make him crawl out of that stale shell he hid himself in, even though it might take a while and would acquire some time to get used to again.

but, what exactly did pedri have to get used to again? smiling at whatever bullshit pablo said during training?

nah, for some reason he wasn't as funny as he used to be, even though he pretty much delivers the same jokes just like before.

taking care of himself, shaving and doing the laundry? for what? his didn't even bother touching his own face anymore, and there was no one else that would touch his face either, so shaving wasn't something that he had to concern himself with anymore.

pedri, for the sake of it, simply could not phantom what he had to get used to again. he already is used to the silence within his own home, or rather the apartment he lives in. calling it home is a far fetch, since whenever his head hits his soft pillow at night, this nasty craving to finally go home scratches his heart, the uncomfortable feeling spreading through his entire body, not letting him get any kind of rest.

he is actually well acquainted with that feeling of wanting to go home, he felt like that all the time a few years back. the only thing that finally made him feel like he arrived home, arrived in his safe haven and the place that made him feel weightless was,

well, it was you.

it was the person that would text him right before any game, back then when the two of you still claimed that the title of being 'just friends' was the most suitable for you.

it was the person who got him flowers and prepared a self made gift for his birthday, the very first year the two of you met. you even wrote him a letter, two pages long, telling him how much you appreciated his friendship and how he enriches your every day life bit by bit.

it was you, the someone who made his hands sweat and his heart forcefully pound against his ribcage when he couldn't reach you for almost an entire day, making him pace up and down through his entire apartment. his parents, whom he lived with back then couldn't understand what or who exactly made their son act like he had bees inside his butt, but when pedri finally received a message on his phone that made his entire being finally relax, they understood that their son had fallen hard, devastatingly so.

it was also you, the person whom he hurt, the person whom he swore to give the entire world to.

"fuck men." you'd say after coming home from an aweful day at university, shoulders tense and eyes stern.

but when you finally met his eyes, the world seemed to stop, his hands opening the door to paradise as they gently patted your back, "fuck them all, but you. you'd never." you mused, sighing and resting your head against his collarbone, finally being home.

yeah, fuck men. all of them, is what pedri now thinks, and fuck him the most.

what the fuck even happened, why did he do it? where was he, where was his mind? what was he even thinking? can he even think? does he have anything up there that made him think? he doubts it, why else would he be alone in is apartment then, with no one to easy his mind wit their gentle words and even gentler eyes.

kicking his training bag into the pile of dirty clothes on a corner of his apartment, his tired body drags itself into his open kitchen.

its actually quite clean, since he doesn't even bother cooking for himself , the training center offers meals anyway.

his arms feel like they are made out of stones, lifting them to open the fridge feels like an training unit entirely. grabbing a water bottle, the last one he notes, but he doesn't really feel like going out get new ones, he opens the cap and takes a generous sip, while moving towards the bathroom.

even though the entire apartment is dark, almost no light but the tiny specs of the evening sun peeking through the blinds, pedri shows no struggle to move around freely.

as dramatic and stupid it might sound, he has been living in an internal darkness for the past weeks, not even the sun was bright enough to illuminate the void inside of him.

his eyes meet the tired reflection of himself through the mirror, and it almost makes him scoff, almost. he looks absolutely disgusting, his face looks shallow, the circles under his eyes compete with his pupils in regards of color and hair looks, uh, well, like that.

if you were to be with him right now, you would force him to take a shower, but since you love, pardon, loved, him so much, you would immediately join him in the shower and clean him up yourself.

afterwards, when he drys himself and puts on new clothes, you would have already prepared a nice meal, some tea, you love enjoying an warm cup during evenings, and put on some trash show, one that did nit require him to use his brain, but would help him to get his mind off what ever bothered him that day.

yeah, that is how much you love-d, it stings him to put it that way, him, and he decided to throw it all away, like that stupid bastard he is.

the only thing that somewhat motivated him to take care of himself was the thought that you might contact him again, wanting to meet up for some closure or anything, really. whatever reason you offer, pedri wouldn't even think once to jump at the opportunity to see you once more.

iosnot like he hasn't tried before, he has, embarrassingly so. whether it was contacting your phone, any of your social media accounts or even a distant cousin of yours, pedri has tried it all. yet nothing ever worked out, he couldn't reach you even once, it is as if you disappeared from the earths surface entirely, punishing him in a way that made the most damage.

finishing up what some wouldn't even call cleaning up for the night, his heavy body moved towards his bed he simply throws himself into. he grabs his phone like every night, opens up each of your social media accounts and goes through your posts, simply looking at your pictures, videos and what not.

when he opens the last account, your instagram, he is met with a sight that wasn't there a few hours ago. [he looks through your accounts at any given time, he isn't even ashamed to admit it and was caught by multiple people]

around your breath-taking profile picture [that you took in this very apartment when the sun was just shining right through the window, it became on elf the many pictures that pedri used as his wallpaper] was a red circle, signalizing that you posted a new story.

with no shame whatsoever [its a miracle that you haven't blocked his account yet] pedri presses the symbol and is immediately met with a sight he knew all too well.

you left.

you left barcelona.

you left him entirely.

his eyes franticly dane around the picture, the sunset looks beautiful through the window of your own apartment, the one that you left in order to live with him.

you didn't stay at a hotel here nearby, didn't look for a home here, far yet still close enough to be by his side.

you moved back to your hometown, to your family and to the place that you were willing to give for him.

and he pushed you.

perdu pushed you back to the place you had given up for him all by himself.

his ugly doings, his disgusting eyes, horrible mistakes were all the reason that you decided to go back to the roots.

he knew what that meant. you moved on, you will forget him and never let him be near you ever again.

pedri feels his chest fall up and down rapidly, his eyes feel dry as he couldn't bring himself to blink, not wanting to look away from the first sign that you were alive, not nostril flared. he could feel the blood rushing up his neck, his heart louder than any game chant in his ears, and his body sweaty.

what was he supposed to do now, how could he go on now, what, just, what, he, he-

other than the loud pounding in his ears, his phone forcefully crashing against the wall opposite of his bd is the next thing he hears, sitting up and pulling at his hair.

his eyes loom around the room, your pictures on the wall, the flowers he had prepared for your arrival all dried up in the vase, your scarf you had left on the chair, they all started to close up to him, hissing and biting at his skin, scarring him though it couldn't be visible to the bare eye.

how, just how could you. how could you not even want to see him one last time before you left, he deserved it! he needed it, needed it more than anything ever, the closer, your eyes, even though they would gaze at him with the same warmth as they used to, the stone cold voice, your sweet scent, you-

he has lost you, he has lost you, he has lost you-

------------------------------------------------

i refuse to proofread, just wrote this in one sitting and hope that you all like it! please let me know!!

hope u missed me! i missed u <3

[dontexpectmuch]

i hope you're okay and well!! i miss your amazing writing and i can't wait for you to post again xx (especially musiala imagines, i love the jamal content you're giving us)

hello!!! i have been well, and now since my exam season is about to start i have decided to procrastinate by coming back home! [aka tumblr] how have u been? xx