#and it was just
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his majesty
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#I hate how tumblr was a place where I could just scream into the void and not worry at all about what and when and how much I was reblogging#and no one knew me#no one cares about my art or my posts#I didn't have to worry about being consistent with my irl self like on insta#and didn't have any pressure to perform well like on TikTok#and it was just#a place where I didn't have to worry about any of that#but when I started posting about dc#and comics and stuff#and like#actually posting art and engaging with people#I'm not worried about stuff performing well#but I actually have mutuals#and people follow me#and I just worry about annoying people#because my blog is not a dc blog in and of itself#reblog a lot#and just#I fully believe in curating your own dash and unfollowing etc#but#idk if it's because I don't really have mutuals or followers that stick around?#like some people that I think are super cool would be mutuals with me for a handful of months#and we'd have a couple soley positive interactions#and then#they'd leave#and the only reason I know as to why is because my constant stream is annoying#idk#I don't like how this used to be a refuge from insecurity. and where I could just post whatever I wanted. but. it doesn't feel like that now#idk what to do
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my partner pumpkin lives in my mind rent free a massive chunk of my waking hours. i know in all actuality they arent actually what i think about constantly, but every day, when im without them i do something or see something or my mind just wanders and inevitably they come back to mind and i often catch myself with the goofiest grin as i think of them.
im so excited to explore the future with them, it makes me just. happy to think about being next to them, a year from now, and to think about how we will both shift and change and how each of us are in our own rights will grow from our love and i so so hope im blessed that we are able to keep growing together like two vines intertwined, reaching towards the sun for a very, very long time. im so gay for them its absurd, im so in love and i love them so very much its CRAZY.
#personal#its i love my partner hours#i love their smile#i love the way they stick out their bottom chin when theyre concentrating#i love the way that after a bad joke they smile so very wide#and mouth partially open and eyes a bit closed they look at me and tap my shoulder and ask me if i got the joke again and again#and the way they sit (they pose like a cat)#they MOVE like a cat. the way their shoulders sit when they sit up is exquisite#they heal so fast from things its crazy i dont understand this person and i love them and also i do understand them#and i love them for that both understanding and also the thingd that my brain csnt comprehend abt their brain and how they work#like the fact they can do math#they helped convert a recipe for me at a dinner as i was cooking#and it was just#idk#it just filled me with such a sense of oh. yeah. i made such the right decision#and idk HOW i made such a good decision. but loving them also has made it easier to make choices that arent going to harm me inevitably#maybe its bc im happy#and i dont need that external validation from others as much#ive stopped thrifting nesrly completely too#which is crazyyyy#but also that was my coping strategy#and how i dealt with stress and i suddenly realized the other day#thst the last times id gone thrifting itd been driven by a friend wanting to#idk man. idk.#anyways.#their grin is stupid cute and i love them and theyre a dork and theyre the most wonderful partner i couldve hoped to wish for#im so lucky
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WordAds, you are on the wrong website.
#ads#tumblr#lol#this ad popped up on my dash#and it was just#so against what 90% of this site's users stand for#i know this site being an echo chamber is bad#but also like#why is this crap here?
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my day was an emotional roller coaster, i am now glad that i made some gifs beforehand so i have things to post that make me happy until these ups and downs go away
#me#i didn't plan it i just made gifs and wasn't sure of how to post them yet#and it was just#(song reference incoming) good timing#to have some piled up#because i'm even more grateful for them now than i would normally be
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there's something about walking around in a forest that's been mostly burnt down tbh
#misc.txt#went hiking today in an area of forest that went through a really bad fire a couple years ago#and it was in a canyon so for most of it the wind was coming through like. super hard#except for. this one section where ig the cliffs blocked most of the wind#and it was just#dead fucking silent#no birds even#like you couldn't hear anything except your own footsteps and stripped bark rattling against the dead trees#v pretty in a certain kind of way but. man#you brush your hand against any of the trees and it comes away covered in charcoal. the only green thing left is grass and moss#it sucks too bc it wasn't even a natural fire somebody was fucking around with fireworks where they shouldn't have been :(
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every so often i make a legit friend and i realize that not everyone in the world is out to hurt me from the get go and i kinda want to cry a little because for some reason that fact sometimes doesnt quite compute inside my head
#anyways i hung out for like 2 hours with this nice guy#who i've been a bit of a jerk to#and we just had fun#and were generally enjoyable people to each other#and it was just#idk guys its so nice when i make a friend in a type im not used to having and they're just good#it's such an annoying thing to not be used to it#but honestly it floors me every time im blessed with a friend#ugh#personal#not fandom content#trauma dumping but its not like legit trauma its more just shit i've lived through#(tm)#the college transfer saga continues
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Not socialist in a “I won’t have to work” type of way but socialist in a “I’ll still be working but I won’t be worried I won’t make the rent” type of way. In a “billions won’t be hoarded by one person” type of way. In a “janitors, fast-food workers, child care workers, preschool teachers, hotel clerks, personal care and home health aides, and grocery store cashiers, will live comfortably” type of way. In a “the sick and elderly will be cared for” type of way. In a “no child should work” type of way.
#socialist#socialism#communism#anti capitalism#the belief that we won’t work under capitalism genuinely makes me so mad#like#you realize the goal of social reform is to abolish imperialism right?#there won’t be good just showing up out of nowhere without slavery and/or imperialism
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[on the verge of having a complete breakdown] i need to make some kind of list or perhaps sort things into categories
#🌿 misc#idk how to tag this#i just love making lists#and sorting things into categories#pinterest#??#this is part of what motivates me to write i just love making lists of scenes and then sorting them into categories#bangers
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#this is what makes us girls#girlblog#hyper feminine#girl interrupted syndrome#lizzy grant#black swan#divine feminine#female hysteria#girlblogging#tumblr girls#2014 tumblr#just girly things#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#hell is a teenage girl#just girly thoughts#girlhood#just girly posts
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Christmas as a cultural icon is starting to get really dystopian in a climate sense, december has historically been a time of year in which there would be snow in a significant portion of europe and north america, and the fact that its not even icy this time of year and all the christmas songs and decorations reference a time of year that will likely never exist in the same way again in my life time is so strange.
#for reference i live in scotland so it is weird that there is no ice or snow in december anymore#shitpost#not really but its just how i find my original content#christmas#climate change
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this is what every tiktok screenshot looks like to me
#its always a persons face and its always cropped to be like. just their eyes. its so fuckin weird#1k#5k#10k#25k#50k#100k
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can’t stop thinking about my friend’s cishet partner who said last night that he doesn’t think anyone is the same gender. god-tier take.
#sky.txt#we were talking about how some people conceptualize nonbinary as like a 3rd gender#rather than a huge spectrum of experience#and he just hit us with that
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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it's such a bummer that losing control of your emotions only makes the entire situation worse in really embarrassing personal ways. losing control of my emotions should give me pyrokinesis.
#🐉#guess who just had another goddamn breakdown#caused by trying not to have a breakdown and failing no less
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