#I’m on TikTok watching this go down and it’s like

[astonmartinii]

royally screwed | jack doohan social media au

pairing: jack doohan x fem royal!reader

head up king, your tiara is falling

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

f1

liked by jackdoohan, danielricciardo and 1,204,899 others

tagged: pierregasly & francocolapinto

f1: that’s something both franco and the alpine mechanics won’t want to see back… the argentine takes both himself and his teammate out of the race!

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user1: i’m so sorry all the karma got directed to you franco i was aiming for flávio i swear

user2: idk what kind of voodoo protection that old man has but even my etsy witch can’t defeat it

user3: what if we ALL paid etsy witches?

user4: not gonna lie guys there’s an easier way to deal with this… it’s called a dark alley and a charging car

user5: oh?!

user6: honestly? valid reaction at this point

alpinef1team: we’ll get them next time!

user7: but who is getting YOU?

user8: sorry social media admin but i’m sad so i fear you’re going to have to hear about it

user9: how DARE you make jack do all of those stupid ass tiktoks and let me get attached :(

user10: making him do all of this social media stuff and didn’t keep him around long enough to finish his soft launch

user11: do NOT remind me

user12: it was so carefully planned and everything

user13: really? that’s what you’re angry about?

user12: let me live? i’m in mourning and thinking about his actual career will make me crash out heavier than the alpines today

user14: okay you have a point

user15: rip alpine you would’ve love jack doohan … oh wait!

user15: @alpinef1team CHOKE

this comment was liked by oscarpiastri, daniel ricciardo, jackdoohan and yourusername

user15: oh WOW my comment collected some big likes

user15: oscar? yeah makes sense. daniel? cool aussie bromance. jack? obviously. y/n windsor? WHY THE FUCK IS THE PRINCESS OF ENGLAND IN MY LIKES?

user16: she has an account?

user17: it’s all her charity stuff mostly but she has been caught like sports stuff before lol

user18: y/n idk what kind of powers come with being a princess but i know you’re next in line so PLEASE GET JACK HIS SEAT BACK

user19: actually any seat will do we’re not fussy

user20: alpine… look at what you’ve made us

yourusername and jackdoohan

liked by oscarpiastri, kimiantonelli and 13,983,029 others

yourusername and jackdoohan: surprise! jack and i have finally decided to make our relationship public as we continue to prepare to settle down.

we first met many years ago when i was on duty at the british grand prix and met a very charming boy who was racing in formula 3 at the time, and i have been smitten ever since.

i have supported jack in his racing and wanted to make that support public in these particularly tough times.

while i’m sure this is a big shock for you all, we ask that you continue to respect our privacy.

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user21: i’m sorry

user21: WHAT THE FUCK

user21: i can’t tell if this is helping my alpine induced misery or not

isackhadjar: HUH?

jackdoohan: you knew i was in a relationship ?

isackhadjar: i’m sorry but how was i meant to deduce that “my girlfriend y/n” actually means the princess of england

jackdoohan: do i not seem princely to you?

isackhadjar: do not try and set me up

isackhadjar: unless there’s some eligible royals who can get down with a freaky lil guy like me

yourusername: probably not best to frame it that way?

isackhadjar: yes, your grace! (am i doing it right i’ve only ever watched game of thrones)

yourusername: you can just call me y/n, isack

isackhadjar: OMG COOL

user22: so i thought this would excite me more but now im just thinking we could’ve gotten these type of reactions on film and in the paddock

user23: how do we know they’re not being filmed

user24: i’m in their walls

oscarpiastri: what?

jackdoohan: can i have the aussie seat after you win the championship pretty please ?

oscarpiastri: i am not answering that until you tell me how the fuck you ended up in the british royal family?

jackdoohan: can you not read anymore? y/n explained it pretty well in the caption…

oscarpiastri: i’m gonna need some more detail

yourusername: you’re more than welcome to come for some tea at ours oscar

oscarpiastri: AT THE PALACE?

oscarpiastri: i mean - yeah that sounds good to me!

kimiantonelli: ME TOO IM COMING TOO

olliebearman: i can’t believe you’ve not invited the only british rookie jack :(

jackdoohan: idk if you guys missed it but im not a rookie any more, im not even a driver

yourusername: enough of that, you can all come for tea and we’ll do some visits to the london hospitals while we’re at it

gabrielbortoleto: yay count me in!!!

isackhadjar: today just keeps getting better and better

user25: dropping this news to distract from the fact that he got dropped for the far superior driver

user26: i wouldn’t be surprised if his woman drops him for franco as well

yourusername: first of all, i am no one’s “woman�� get that right and second of all, jack is the kindest, funniest and most gentle man in the world and you’d have to move heaven and earth to take him away from me

jackdoohan: i love you <3

user27: oop - she told yall

kimiantonelli

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,023,488 others

tagged: olliebearman, jackdoohan & yourusername

kimiantonelli: yo this royal stuff is kinda crazy …

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user28: fomo has never fomo-ed this bad before

user29: the fact that she knew this would get a load of publicity so she used it for good >>

user30: and this is why she’s my fave royal !!!

yourusername: i hope you had a wonderful time kimi! thank you so much for joining us.

kimiantonelli: are you kidding? that was insane !!!!

kimiantonelli: and also it was very fun to meet all of the children

kimiantonelli: but can we please take the aston martin for a spin again ???

jackdoohan: kimi ???

kimiantonelli: like y/n didn’t tell us that you take her for drives in it all the time …

jackdoohan: y/n ???

yourusername: what? you’re an amazing driver and i love watching you do what you love!

user31: i wish alpine weren’t such FUCKHEADS i want this dynamic at silverstone so bad

user32: if they didn’t fumble this bad we could’ve gotten a monaco situ where she could’ve presented the trophies every year

user33: you could’ve shot me and it would’ve hurt less

maxverstappen1: hmm

charles_leclerc: hmmm

alexalbon: hmmmm

georgerussell63: hmmmmm

landonorris: hmmmmmm

carlossainz55: hmmmmmmm

lewishamilton: hmmmmmmmm

kimiantonelli: you guys good? sorry you weren’t cool enough to be invited

maxverstappen1: i’m literally an officer in the order of orange-nassau???

lewishamilton: IM A SIR?

lewishamilton: I WAS LITERALLY KNIGHTED BY Y/N?

yourusername: sorry gentlemen, you should’ve spoken up sooner. however, jack and i are hosting a charity ball between canada and the red bull ring?

alexalbon: IM SO THERE

alexalbon: i’m so there, security are telling me the ball is weeks away but im so there

charles_leclerc: YIPEE

georgerussell63: omg my first royal event… gasp!

user34: obsessed with how the grid get so excited about all of this

user35: max … asking to go to an event ???

user36: and to think we could’ve had it every weekend :(

yourusername

liked by jackdoohan, isackhadjar and 12,309, 788 others

tagged: jackdoohan

yourusername: it was such an honour to host this dinner to raise funds for the youth art network! so many children in our country are being pushed out of artistic fields because of the lack of funding, hopefully with these funds and the continued support from jack and i, we can help keep britain creative!

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user37: they’re actually so precious to me

user38: this is such a great initiative i’m so glad they do things like this with their money and time!

user39: i’ve honestly never seen jack happier

user40: good for him!!! making the best out of a bad situation - this probably also means he won’t be going back to f1, at least not with alpine

francocolapinto: jack might not be in this garage anymore, but i'd still love a visit from you

user41: ummmmmmmm… what?

user42: this is really not cool

pierregasly: let’s delete this while you can

francocolapinto: shooters shoot, isn’t that what you said?

pierregasly: yeah to a girl at the bar maybe, not a royal who is very clearly in a relationship

francocolapinto: i took his seat, i can take his girl too

yourusername: excuse me?

francocolapinto: you’re saying you can’t give me one chance to convince you of my worth?

yourusername: at this point you have one chance to convince me why i shouldn’t find the one legal loophole that means jack can kick your ass

francocolapinto: woah?

yourusername: there’s no charming your way out of this one, franco. jack has done nothing to you and yet you allow your fans to send him countless death threats and flirt with his fiancée openly. find some respect for yourself franco, you won’t be this young forever.

user43: HOLY SMOKES

user44: i can’t even get caught up on the way she snapped here because of the FIANCÉE mention

user45: no this bro must’ve been testing her patience because never in my life have i seen her snap at someone like that

user46: so valid from her though

user47: honestly i’d throw hands for less

jackdoohan: always an honour to just be at your side and help you achieve the wonderful things you do

yourusername: even when i accidentally reveal our engagement while having an argument on the internet

jackdoohan: especially then

yourusername: i love you!

yourusername: and i know doohan was a pretty cool name for merch before, but i feel like windsor could look pretty good on a car or a cap

jackdoohan: if it means i have a little piece of you wherever i go, sign me up

user48: aside from confirmation that he’s going to take her name - ON A CAR? doohan return confirmed ?

user49: they need to stop playing with my feelings so many times on one post

user50: so this might be a royal fuck up from franco right?

f1

liked by jackdoohan, yourusername and 2,309,472 others

f1: BREAKING: flávio briatore has been forced to resign from his position as team principal at alpine! princess y/n windsor and jack doohan attended the friday of the british grand prix where briatore was served by windsor’s legal team, who had found that the contracts given out by briatore were not legally binding. briatore left the paddock on the friday evening long before windsor and doohan, who were seen with a number of team personnel from across the paddock. Colapinto will complete this race weekend but his future with the team is now up in the air.

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user51: one moment of peace and quiet in f1, that's all i ask

user52: i can't even go to sleep without waking up to five breaking news graphics

user53: honestly? if they were all like this i wouldn't mind it...

user54: jack and y/n being in the likes is so funny to me

user55: babe they're not just in the likes, they were there in person to deliver the news

user56: i knew flavio should've been worried when the relationship was revealed... those royals WILL have the best lawyers

user57: i mean i only just found out that flavio is/was jack's manager?

user58: HE WAS JACK'S MANAGER?

user59: i know their lawyer was just as bamboozled as us

pierregasly: CAN I PLEASE GET A DRINK? PLEASE?

user60: bro it's only friday ...

pierregasly: I HAVE NO TP? I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH MY TEAM?

jackdoohan: our bad!

pierregasly: no yall did what you had to do but i was hoping i could maybe get a bottle of something top shelf for my troubles

kikacgomes: and maybe a horse ride at the palace ???

charles_leclerc: can leo meet the corgis???

lewishamilton: u.k. met gala when?

jackdoohan: oh so i get engaged to a princess and suddenly you all want to be my friend?

pierregasly: WOAH ignore all of them, we're the victims here!

yourusername: at this point, if we can turn it into a charity event, we can do whatever you want

maxverstappen1: this is a dangerous precedent

maxverstappen1: and i'm willing to find the limits

user61: i'm having visions of the f1 grid at a royal wedding...

user62: does max know he can't wear skinny jeans to a royal wedding?

maxverstappen1: please refer to my last comment

user63: does he know that the secret service can shoot him on sight if he does wear them?

maxverstappen1: HUH?

jackdoohan: that's true... they told me themselves!

yourusername: jack...

jackdoohan: i am protecting the dress code of our future wedding!

kimiantonelli: i guess you could say he's royally screwed

kimiantonelli: ????

kimiantonelli: i thought it was funny :(

kimiantonelli: no worries guys y/n told me irl she thought it was funny

kimiantonelli: WAIT

kimiantonelli: I SAID NOTHING

jackdoohan

liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc and 4,920,482 others

tagged: yourusername

jackdoohan: jack WINdsor at your duty! i've been given a second chance at my dream, but i wouldn't be here without my family and my amazing fiancee. i promise i'll make you proud.

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user64: i WILL not cry about this

user65: i tried not to but BABY JACK

user66: i think people forget how young he still is :(

yourusername: i'll forever be proud of you, my love. no matter what

yourusername: however, i think the palace would look extra dashing with some trophies ...

jackdoohan: for you? anything

yourusername: oh my charming boy, i'm not sure i want to share you with f1 again so soon

jackdoohan: but you will come with me won't you?

yourusername: to be without you is a thorn in my side

user67: FUCK ME THEY'RE SO CUTE

user68: i love them so much

user69: i don't think yall are ready for the level of paddock fashion we're going to get with a literal princess...

user70: wait - what happens when as inherits the throne?

user71: i think jack would have to retire

user72: WHAT?

user73: that's just how the royal life is

jackdoohan: and i'll do it

yourusername: i appreciate the concern everyone, but my mother is in good health and has many, many years left as queen

user74: jack doohan/windsor first kilf (king i would like to fuck)

user74: i've been blocked by y/n ????

user74: AND JACK?

oscarpiastri: you got MARRIED WITHOUT US ???

jackdoohan: once again, can you not read a caption?

oscarpiastri: oh lol.

oscarpiastri: i just saw windsor and started yelling at my phone

user75: obsessed with how jack having a f1 seat is actually great for the british government

user76: diplomatic relations are on the UP because government officials come to races to meet and talk with y/n

user77: and the fact that they both still find time to do charity work in each country they go to.. they’re so precious to me

yourusername: i never thought i'd be planning a royal wedding around the formula one calendar, but there's a first for everything

jackdoohan: but a summer wedding is so cute?

yourusername: i know, my love

yourusername: but flower picking via face time has been a struggle

jackdoohan: i know whatever you choose will be perfect

jackdoohan: just like you

yourusername: i love you, sweet talker

jackdoohan: i love you too sweetheart

fin.

note: as you can tell I AM NOT HAPPY. i like franco but justice for my queen jack. updates for you all, other side of the moon chap 7 is about 80% done so that's exciting !!!! hope you are all good despite the many many horrors lol xx

[frogbogus]

‎‧₊˚✧[ LOVE AND DEEPSPACE ]✧˚₊‧

: ̗̀➛ You do the ‘’I’m so hungry I could eat…’’ tiktok trend on them.

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XAVIER

You’re currently situated on your couch, feet up, watching the usual daytime TV shows.

Xavier is in the kitchen, softly humming as he prepares an easy little snack to keep you both going till lunch time.

You stretch out your limbs and with an exasperated sigh you say, ‘’I’m so hungry… so hungry that I could eat Jeremiah.’’ You eye Xavier, holding in your laugh as you wait for his reaction. You see a slight pause in him, as if he’s just processed what you said. ‘’Jeremiah?’’ He says, confused.

Xavier heads over to you, snacks in hand and situates himself next to you with a huff. ‘’I don’t think he’d taste very nice…’’ As you open your mouth to tease him some more, Xavier moves suddenly and a small jam tart is softly placed between your lips. ‘’Eat.’’ He chuckles fondly at you then, as you slowly begin to take small nibbles.

‘’He’d probably taste like flowers.’’ You say, with your mouth full. ‘’Yeah?’’ Xavier retorts. He turns to you, cupping your cheek with his hand and gently brushing off crumbs that have stuck to the side of your mouth. He leans in, planting a soft kiss to your lips.

He hums as he pulls back, ‘’Tastes like….. jam.’’

ZAYNE

You’re strolling hand in hand down the busy streets of Linkon City. You come to a halt outside of a bakery, eyeing the display of tasty goods.

You sigh, ‘’I’m so hungry-‘’ Zayne interjects immediately looking at the bakery and then to you, ‘’Shall we head inside?’’

You tilt your head up to him finishing your sentence, ‘’I’m so hungry I could eat Greyson.’’

He stares at you dumbfounded. ‘’I’m sorry?’’

You repeat yourself once more, ‘’I’m so hungry I could eat Greyson.’’ You state matter of factly, shrugging. He sighs at your antics deciding to just play along, knowing you’re waiting for some kind of reaction. ‘’That’s not a very healthy choice of meal now, is it?’’

He goes to enter the bakery, but you latch onto his hand tighter stopping him in his tracks. ‘’I’m not actually hungry. But if you are we can grab something.’’ You say, laughing softly at him. He smiles at you, continuing the walk back to your apartment. ‘’I am hungry. But I can have my fill once we get home.’’ His lips slightly turn up into a knowing smile, and you can feel your face turning red.

RAFAYEL

Rafayel is busy painting his new art project as your sat sprawled across his couch, scrolling on your phone. Your stomach rumbles and with a quick motion you stand up, Rafeyel’s attention is instantly on you. ‘’I’m so hungry that I could eat Thomas.’’ You announce to the world, with a slight smile on your face as you couldn’t hold it in.

Rafayel’s brows furrow, and he scrunches his nose. ‘’My… manager? You can’t eat him. No way.’’ You laugh and begin to walk away to go grab something to eat. Rafayel is beside you in an instant, grabbing your wrist and spinning you to face him. ‘’Where do you think you’re going?’’

You slap his hand away playfully, ‘’I’m going to get something to eat. Duh.’’ He puts his hand on his chest, holding his heart dramatically. ‘’You have wounded me, Miss Bodyguard. To think you’d choose to eat Thomas... of all people. Ruude.’’

You hold back a laugh, leaning forward and eyeing him. ‘’What? You got any better ideas?’’ He smiles at you with a flash of mischievousness in his eyes, ‘’I can give you a taste of the ocean, how does that sound?’’

SYLUS

You’re lounging around in Sylus’ bedroom, laying upside down on your stomach on his bed, tired and very hungry after the excruciatingly long trial you both just returned from.

Sylus enters the room, smiling softly at the sight of you. ‘’Getting comfortable are we, kitten?’’ You flip around at the sound of his voice, your head now slightly hanging off the bed. Stretching your arms and legs, ‘’I’m sooo hungry.’’ You let out with a sigh. Sylus stands at the edge of the bed, tilting his head as he looks down at you.

‘’What are you desiring? I can make a feast for us.’’ He says as he reaches down, stroking your cheek and trailing the side of your jaw.

You hum, pretending to be in deep thought. ‘’I’m so hungry I could eat Mephisto.’’ Sylus’ eyebrow raises at that, a low chuckle escaping him, ‘’What questionable taste buds you have. Should I be concerned?’’ You sit up turning to face Sylus, shrugging. ‘’Thought I’d be more adventurous with my meal choices, you know?’’

He crouches down so that he is now eye level with you, his hand gently placed on your thigh tracing soft circles with his thumb. ‘’If you’re going to eat Mephisto…. then what should I eat? Hm?’’

CALEB

You’re currently chilling in your apartment, Caleb is in your kitchen cutting up apples into little slices for you.

You shout over to him playfully, ‘’Chop chop with those apples chef. I’m practically starving over here.’’ He laughs at that turning to salute you, ‘’Yes ma’am.’’

‘’I’m so hungry.’’ Caleb’s back is turned to you but you can see his shoulders slightly bounce as he laughs to himself over how dramatic you are. You continue, ‘’I’m so hungry… I could eat Dr. Zayne.’’

Caleb stills, the knife he was holding clinks as he places it calmly on the kitchen top. He turns, crossing his arms and tilting his head as he squints his eyes at your smiling face suspiciously. ‘’Dr. Zayne huh…. Is this some kind of new weird trend?’’ You laugh, rolling your eyes kiddingly, ‘’What gave it away?’’

Caleb stalks towards you, full apple in hand. ‘’Mm… I don’t know. Maybe the silly grin on your face.’’ With that your smile grows wider, you shake your head. He knows you too well.

He finally reaches you, holding the apple out to you. ‘’If delicious things aren’t eaten in time, they become stale.’’ You look up at him, grabbing the apple and taking a bite.

He grins, ruffling your hair. ‘’Caleb!’’ You swat his hands away and sigh.

He’s about to walk back to the kitchen, but not before he lets out one last remark, ‘’An apple a day keeps the doctor away.’’

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hi hi! this is my first ever tumblr post…. i’m usually just a lurker but this tiktok trend really made me chuckle, then i thought…. what would the lads guys do if mc did this to them? anyway, in no way am i a professional writer. definitely not. but i thought i’d give it a try. i know it isn’t really the exact trend as you usually have to say someones name who’s the person you’re pranking would be shocked you’d knew even existed. but i just chose side characters that are involved with the lads guys. i was going to choose dr noah for zayne it probably would’ve been funnier but… hey ho.

i have no idea how to customise my profile layout, i’m practically a noobie here. how do y’all get your profiles lookin’ so pretty pretty? i’ll figure it out… maybe.

i’ll hopefully improve with my writing overtime, if you liked this please let me know. and if you think i’ve mischaracterised the guys then also please let me know, i’d love to improve. have a nice day!!

[qrrieterisunnq]

I Am So Hungry I Could Eat… - Quinn Hughes

the swiss love charm au

NICO!HISCHIER X AINSLEY!HUGHES — WARNINGS: nothing, just sweet pure content — SUMMARY: Quinn is trying the TikTok 'I am so hungry I could eat' trend on Freya. — WORD COUNT: 0,98K PART OF THE SWISS LOVE CHARM AU

It is a normal day in Vancouver. The windows in Hughes’ apartment are fogged and wet from the rain. Ainsley is at the arena; her shift doesn’t end until 6 p.m., so Quinn is on the ‘nanny’ duty.

But he doesn’t mind. He loves spending time with his niece, even if it involves a tea party with Mr. Bun-Bun or painting his nails. And today has been nothing different.

Freya had already painted his nails pink, and it was only 11 pm. Thank God, it is off-season. He has no idea how he would explain his nails in the locker room.

Now they were sitting opposite each other on the ground, Mr. Bun-Bun between them on one side and her another teddy bear on the other side.

“You gotta sip soft,” Freya says, squinting over her cup at her uncle. Her little lips pucker as she slurps noisily. “Like dis.”

“Soft sipping, got it!” Quinn nods, copying her exaggerated slurp. “Am I doing it right, ma’am?”

She nods proudly, reaching to pat his thigh. “You doin’ good, unco. But Mr. Bun-Bun needs tea too.”

“Ah, of course.” He slaps his forehead. “How rude of me,” he reaches for the plush bunny lying on the ground next to him. “Sorry, Mr. Bun-Bun. Didn’t mean to ignore you. Here is some tea.”

He tilts the cup toward the bunny’s head as Freya claps her hands.

“Yay! Mr. Bun-Bun happy now!”

They play like that for a while, switching out teacups and pretending to nibble invisible cookies. Freya gets distracted with stacking some blocks nearby while Quinn lazily leans back on his elbows, staring at the ceiling. His phone buzzes on the couch.

Ziggy: Just checking in. How’s my girl?

Quintin: Chaos gremlin status: active. We’re good.

Ziggy: No snacks before lunch. No juice after 4. Love you!

He tosses the phone back on the couch, lying back down as his stomach lets out a loud growl.

Freya gasps, eyes wide. “Dat you tummy?”

“Yup,” Quinn groans, dramatically clutching his stomach. “I’m so hungry, Freya…”

She blinks, curious.

“I’m so hungry…” he continues, slowly leaning back like he’s about to pass out, “…I could eat a kid.”

She freezes.

One hand tightens around Bun-Bun. Her face twists slowly into a mix of horror and disbelief. “Wha’ you say?”

Quinn barely opens one eye. “I said I could eat… a kid.”

Freya drops Bun-Bun and stands up with a gasp, stumbling back like he just turned into a villain. “NOOOOOO! No eat kids! No eat me!”

Quinn bursts into laughter. “Freya, I’m just kidding!”

She frowns, lip wobbling, and stomps a tiny foot. “Not funny, unco! I yittle! I baby!”

“I know,” Quinn says quickly, hands up in surrender. “I’d never eat you! You’re like, my favorite human.”

She narrows her eyes, clearly still suspicious. “But you say you eat kid. I a kid.”

“Well, yeah, but you’re my kid,” he says, tapping her nose. “You’re safe.”

She crosses her arms and shakes her head fiercely. “Mama say don’t do dat. Mama say, ‘No bein’ rude to Fwaya.’”

“Sorry, baby.” He laughs, kissing her forehead. “Mama’s right as always.”

Freya plops onto the floor dramatically. “You need chicky nuggies. Not me.”

“True,” he agrees, flopping next to her. “You know what I could really go for right now?”

She tilts her head. “What?”

“Mac ‘n cheese. With dino nuggets. Maybe some ketchup.”

Freya gasps. “Me like dino nuggies!”

“I know,” he grins. “We’re food twins.”

She points to the toy kitchen. “I make you food. You no eat baby, I make da nuggies.”

“Deal.”

She toddles off in her socks, digging into the plastic kitchen for fake ingredients. Quinn watches her go, shaking his head. “You’re gonna be the best chef in the league, y’know that?”

“I chef now!” she calls back.

A few minutes later, she returns with a pink plate loaded with plastic carrots, a squishy toy burger, and a block pretending to be a nugget. She drops it in his lap with pride. “Here. Fwesh made.”

“Thank you, Chef Freya,” he says, pretending to taste. “Mmm. Incredible. Five stars.”

She climbs into his lap, watching him “eat.” “You full now?”

“Almost,” he says, patting his stomach. “Still a little hungry. Might need dessert.”

Freya gasps, looking around. “No cookies. Mama hide dem.”

“Darn,” Quinn says. “Guess I’ll have to eat your toes instead!”

“NOOOO!” she shrieks, laughing as she tries to escape.

He catches her easily and lifts her upside down, pretending to nibble her sock-covered feet.

“AHHH! Not my toesies!” she screams through giggles. “Dat tickle! You silly unco!”

Quinn flips her right-side up and cuddles her to his chest as she calms, both of them out of breath from laughter.

“Okay, okay,” he says, brushing hair from her eyes. “No toes. No kids. I’ll just starve.”

She pats his face gently. “You eat cereal.”

“Cereal for lunch?”

She nods. “Mama say cereal good when you tired.”

Quinn snorts. “You really do listen to her, huh?”

“Yup.” She leans closer and whispers, “She da boss.”

“She is the boss.”

Just then, his phone buzzes again. He grabs it and opens Ainsley’s text.

Ziggi: Still alive over there?

He replies with a photo: Freya grinning beside a plate of fake food, him holding up a thumbs-up.

Quintin: Still alive. Barely. Almost got eaten for real. Crisis averted thanks to Dino Nuggets

Freya pokes at the phone screen. “Mama come home now?”

“Soon, bug,” Quinn says. “You miss her?”

She nods, curling back into his arms with Bun-Bun. “Miss mama. But you funny.”

“Thanks,” he murmurs, kissing the top of her head. “You’re not bad company either.”

The rain keeps falling, the living room stays messy, and the hunger might still be there—but in that moment, with Freya curled up safe and warm in his lap, Quinn wouldn’t trade it for anything.

[slut-for-slutty-fictional-men]

Caught in 4K

George Clarke x Reader (ArthurTV’s sister) Warnings: Swearing, mutual pining, secondhand embarrassment via YouTube comments

Summary: You join Arthur and George in a YouTube video, the last thing you thought would happen was fans going crazy over you and George. 

Word Count: 1600

Masterlist

You hadn’t meant to be in the video.

Honestly, you just came to drop off Arthur’s phone charger and maybe steal a Diet Coke from his fridge. But then George Clarke was there, stretched out on the couch in a hoodie that had definitely been washed too many times, looking up with that easy grin that always made your heart stutter.

“Oi,” he said. “You staying or just passing through?”

You should’ve passed through. Should’ve said no and gone home and spared yourself the entire internet finding out about your very inconvenient crush.

Instead, you dropped onto the arm of the couch, right beside George, and said, “What are we watching?”

It was supposed to be a throwaway reaction video. Just you, Arthur, and George reacting to painfully awkward dating show clips.

But then George laughed at one of your sarcastic comments. And you laughed at his. And you started leaning into each other without realizing, shoulder brushing shoulder, sharing a blanket by the end of it.

And when Arthur shouted, “Alright, I swear if you two flirt any harder I’m cutting the camera,” you just rolled your eyes and flipped him off — but George?

George flushed.

Not a lot. Just a little. But enough.

The video goes up the next day. You think nothing of it. Until your phone starts blowing up.

Your DMs. Your texts. Your Twitter notifications. A friend sends you a TikTok.

✨ “POV: you’re watching George Clarke fall in love in real time.” ✨ Captioned: he’s never looked at Arthur like that 😭

You blink. Open the video. And yeah. That’s your face George is staring at, soft and distracted, in 1080p.

There are hundreds of comments already.

“why does George look like he wants to kiss her every time she speaks 😭” “can we get a ship name or…?” “petition for a double date video with George and reader 👀” “bro Arthur has no idea”

You stare at your phone for a full minute. Then: You: “Arthur. Have you seen the comments.” Arthur: “Yeah what the fuck is this.” Arthur: “Did you two plan that or???” Arthur: “Also are you dating??” You: “NO.” You: “Absolutely not.” You: (less convincingly) “Right??”

You’re halfway through doom-scrolling when your phone buzzes again. George Clarke: I think the internet ships us. You: Lmao I saw 😅 George: Do we correct them? Or just let them spiral? You: Let’s see how bad it gets first. George: So you’re saying there’s a chance 😏 You: George. George: Right right. Professional. Totally normal. No flirting. George: …Unless you want to.

You stare at that last message for longer than you’d like to admit.

You see him again three days later. Arthur invites you to watch the Arsenal match at George’s flat, and when you show up, George opens the door like he’s been waiting all day.

“Hey,” he says, eyes dropping to your hoodie. “Is that my jumper?”

You glance down. It is. Definitely.

You shrug. “Maybe.”

George steps back to let you in. “Guess it looks better on you.”

You nearly trip on the rug.

Halfway through the game, Arthur disappears to take a call. You and George are left alone on the couch, a bowl of half-eaten popcorn between you.

“I’m not gonna lie,” George says, “some of those edits were kind of flattering.”

You snort. “You liked the one where they said you looked like a Victorian man in love?”

George grins. “You didn’t?”

“Please. I looked like I was seconds from throwing up.”

He nudges your knee with his. “You looked beautiful.”

You freeze. Just for a second.

Then: “You’re just saying that so I’ll come on more videos.”

George shrugs. “Can’t say I’d mind.”

Your heart does something stupid in your chest.

Later, when Arthur’s in the other room and the match is over, George walks you to the door like some sort of gentleman. You pause, turning to him before leaving.

“So,” you say, voice too quiet. “Still letting the internet spiral?”

George watches you for a beat. Then steps just a little closer.

“Yeah,” he says. “But it’s getting harder to pretend they’re wrong.”

You blink.

Before you can answer, Arthur yells from the kitchen: “Oi, you leaving or moving in?”

You both laugh, flinch apart, and you step out into the night with your heart in your throat.

It gets worse before it gets better.

Worse, in the sense that you and George keep pretending you’re not flirting when you absolutely are.

He starts texting more. Sending voice notes. Suggesting film nights — just the two of you. He finds excuses to touch your arm, to sit too close, to comment on your photos like he’s not in love with you.

You pretend not to notice. Mostly because Arthur definitely is noticing.

“You and George have been acting weird,” he says one night, halfway through a shared Deliveroo order. “Weird how?” “I dunno. Suspicious. Coy.” “Coy?” “Like you’re two teenagers trying to hide a crush and you think you’re being subtle.”

You laugh way too hard at that.

Which doesn’t help your case.

The truth is, you and George are very not subtle.

A fan makes a compilation: “George Clarke being absolutely gone for ArthurTV’s sister for 7 minutes straight.”

It goes viral.

Arthur sees it. Of course he does.

You find out when he storms into your room holding his phone. “You didn’t tell me you actually like him.” You look up from your laptop. “I don’t—” “Don’t lie,” he says, deadpan. “He literally zoomed in on your face during a TikTok like he was filming a wedding video.”

You groan, dragging a pillow over your face. “Can we not?”

But Arthur isn’t angry. He’s just… stunned.

“You could’ve told me.”

“I didn’t want to make it weird.”

“You being in love with my best friend is inherently weird.”

You peek over the pillow. “You’re not mad?”

Arthur sighs. “Honestly, I’m more mad at George for being such a coward about it.”

You blink. “Wait, what?”

He smirks. “He’s been into you since December. At least. Possibly longer. It’s been hell watching him fumble every time you walk into a room.”

Your heart stops. “You’re serious?”

“As a heart attack,” he says, grabbing his charger. “Sort your shit out, yeah?”

You don’t see George for a few days. It’s not intentional, just a mix of work and nerves and—okay, maybe it’s a little intentional.

Then he messages.

George: Do you want to come over tonight? Just us. George: I’ve got the good snacks.

You stare at the screen. Then type:

You: Yeah. I think we need to talk anyway.

He opens the door like he’s been holding his breath all day.

You step inside, brushing past him, and suddenly you’re hyperaware of everything — the soft light, the way his hand lingers at your back, the heat in your cheeks.

“So,” George says, once you’re curled on the couch with popcorn you won’t eat. “You wanted to talk?”

You glance over at him. He’s not watching the movie. He’s watching you.

“I talked to Arthur.”

George freezes.

You continue, voice quiet: “He said you’ve liked me for a while.”

His jaw tightens. “I didn’t mean for him to find out.”

“Is it true?”

He hesitates. Then nods. “Yeah.”

You exhale. Your hands are shaking a little.

“I didn’t tell him about us,” George says quickly. “I didn’t want to mess things up with you. Or with him.”

“There isn’t an us,” you say.

George flinches.

You add: “But there could be.”

That gets his attention.

“You sure?”

You nod, slow and certain. “I think I’ve been sure for a long time.”

He laughs under his breath, almost disbelieving. “God. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear that.”

There’s a beat. Charged, quiet.

And then, like gravity’s had enough of the waiting, he leans in.

It’s slow — cautious, warm, his hand curling at your jaw, your breath catching — and then it happens.

And it’s everything.

Later, tangled up on the couch, the movie long forgotten, you glance at his phone buzzing with a new comment notification.

Top comment on your last video:

“George finally pulled Arthur’s sister?? I KNEW IT” 37k likes. 400 replies.

George groans into your neck. “We are never living this down.”

You grin, brushing his hair from his face. “Totally worth it.”

Then his phone lights up.

A new text.

Arthur: Fine. Just don’t break her heart or I’ll kill you.

George reads it out loud and winces. “Noted.”

You laugh, kissing him again.

Top Comments:

💬 @arthurtv:

I leave you two alone for FIVE MINUTES. ↳ @georgeclarke: sorry dad 😔 ↳ @y/n: don’t act like you didn’t know. ↳ @arthurtv: I DID I JUST DIDN’T WANT TO SEE IT WITH MY EYES

💬 @fanpage_georgeclarke:

WE WON. WE ACTUALLY WON. ↳ @fanpage_yt_ships: this is my Super Bowl ↳ @thatcompvidgirl: shout out to me for making the edit that started it all 💅

 💬 @randomuser368:

“Arthur’s soft launch was when he introduced her in the first video lol”

💬 @randomuser398:

Bro waited YEARS. He deserves this. ↳ @user7474: THE SLOW BURN PAID OFF 😭

 💬 @randomuser420:

“this is better than a romcom.”

 💬@randomuser298:

 “she joined ONE video and he was never the same”

💬@randomuser354:

 “we need a YouTube q&a ASAP”

[fawnme1]

THE SOFTEST THING — WILLNE

CHAPTER FOUR

previous part ,, next part

──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!

You weren’t supposed to be in the video.

You’d tagged along with Joe and Alfie mostly for moral support and free snacks. The Sidemen were shooting some kind of chaotic, unscripted Truth or Dare special, and they were short one person after someone bailed last-minute. That’s when Tobi looked at you and went, “Wait, get her in. She’s funny.”

Joe, of course, lit up like a christmas tree. “Yes! Oh my god, yes. She’s perfect.”

“She’s also not wearing makeup from camera,” you protested weakly, already knowing resistance was futile.

“That’s the raw aesthetic Gen Z wants,” Alfie said, throwing an arm ariound you dramatically. “It’s cinema, babe.”

And just like that, you were mic’d up and seated between Joe and Will on one of those weird gamer-style couches that didn’t actually support your back. The camera crew was setting up, lights glaring, and you were running through the very real possibility that this was going to end in public humiliation.

Joe leaned over, voice low. “Promise to pick truth when it gets to you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’ve been too mysterious lately,” he grinned.

“Joe.”

“I’m just saying. The people need to know.”

The shoot started.

Within minutes, it had descended into the usual nonsense: mini dares, oversharing, KSI doing a weird dance, and Vik being sneakily savage with his questions. You managed to stay off the radar for a while, mostly letting the chaos swirl around you.

Until it was your turn.

Tobi looked right at you. “Alright, you. Truth or dare?”

Joe didn’t even give you time to think. “Truth. She’s definitely picking truth.”

Will chuckled beside you, resting his arm on the back of the couch. “Safe choice.”

You narrowed your eyes at them both. “Fine. Truth.”

Tobi grinned like he’d just won the lottery. “Okay then. Is it true that—” He glanced at his phone like he was double checking the wording. “—you haven’t dated anyone in five years?”

The room erupted.

“OH MY GOD,” Joe wheezed, clapping his hands together.

Alfie fell sideways onto the floor with a dramatic gasp. “EXPOSED!”

Your mouth dropped open, equal parts horror and disbelief. “Who told you that?”

Will turned to look at you, fully now, brows raised. “Wait — for real?”

You blinked. “That’s… wow, okay. I thought we were doing like ‘what’s your favourite cereal’ type truths.”

But Tobi just laughed. “We go deep here.”

You took a breath, trying to will the blood out of your cheeks. “Yeah. It’s true.”

The room went quiet for a beat, only broken by Joe and Alfie’s combined gremlin giggles.

“She’s emotionally celibate,” Alfie added, wiping fake tears from his eyes.

“Full-on romantic nun,” Joe agreed, raising his bottle of water in a toast. “Five years strong.”

Will was still looking at you.

Not laughing. Just… surprised. Curious.

“Didn’t expect that,” he said under his breath, not loud enough for the camera to catch.

You shot him a sideways glance. “Why, because I seem so emotionally available?”

He smirked. “No, just… you sing like someone who’s been through it.”

Joe heard that and howled.

“Oh my god, this is killing me,” he wheezed. “The two of you sound like the start of an angsty music video.”

“You are the angsty music video,” Alfie added, still on the floor. “She’s giving heartbreak, and Will’s giving ‘guy who doesn’t realise he’s the problem’.”

Everyone laughed — including you — but you could feel Will still watching you out of the corner of his eye.

And later, when the cameras were off and the lights came down, he bumped your shoulder lightly and said, “Five years, huh?”

You nodded, trying to keep it breezy. “Life got busy.”

“Or maybe the right person never showed up.”

You didn’t say anything.

You didn’t need to.

Because for the first time in a long time, someone was starting to look at you like they might just want to be the exception.

The Sidemen vide blew up fast.

You woke up to hundreds of tags. Not dozens. Hundreds.

The comments had gone feral. TikToks were circulating, edits were made, and the clip where you admitted — on camera, no less — that you hadn’t dated in five whole years had gone ultra-viral.

“5 YEARS?? that’s not a dry spell, that’s a biblical drought”

“she’s so real for this. healing era icon.”

“joe and alfie’s reaction sent me to the moon”

“why does will look like he just found out she’s a disney princess with a tragic backstory??”

Someone even made a fan cam of your face, backlit in that Sidemen studio glow, overlayed with Lana Del Rey and the words “she deserves the world and also a midly sarcastic boyfriend.”

You laughed. You cringed. You considered moving to a remote forest.

But no one was letting it go — especially not Joe and Alfie.

And then came the ChrisMD pub crawl.

You hadn’t intended to be in that video either. But one “come on, it’ll be jokes” from Alfie turned into a full night of chaotic filming, multiple pubs, far too many pints, and an on-camera game of “Pub Truths” that immediately got out of hand.

You were two pints deep when Chris pointed a camera in your face with that smile that meant you should be worried.

“Right then,” he grinned. “Everyone wants to know — how long exactly has it been since your last date?”

Groans and cheers exploded around the table.

Joe physically clapped. “YESSSSS. Get in there!”

“Run it back!” Alfie yelled. “Five years and two months now, don’t lie!”

Will, sitting across from you with a half finished cider, looked up — smirking, but clearly listening.

You blinked. “Is this my punishment for having a career?”

Chris leaned closer. “So? Confirm the timeline. The people need to know.”

You sighed. Loudly. “Fine. Five years, three months, and…” You paused, checked your phone. “Seventeen days. Happy?”

The table screamed.

“No way you’re tracking it that precisely,” Chris said, wide eyed.

“She’s counting like it’s a prison sentence,” Joe said through tears.

“She’s like those girlboss wolves who wait for one mate their whole life,” Alfie added.

Will nearly choked on his drink.

You covered your face. “I hate you all.”

“You love us,” Alfie grinned. “And also you’re lying. You’ve definitely flirted.”

“I’ve flirted for sport. That’s not dating.”

“Iconic behaviour,” Joe muttered. “Tactical flirtation. Maximum power, no commitment.”

Chris was still cackling. “No but seriously, no dates? None?”

“Not one where I actually liked the guy back,” you said honestly.

That shut everyone up for a beat.

And then Will said — so casually it could’ve passed unnoticed: “Well, you’ve got high standards. That’s not a bad thing.”

Joe caught it. Alfie caught it. You definitely caught it.

The camera probably did, too.

And from the way Will didn’t even pretend to be embarrassed about saying it, you knew he meant it.

The next day, your mentions were in meltdown again.

This time, it wasn’t just “5 year dry spell girl.”

Now it was:

“she’s the heartbreak popstar and he’s the sarcastic youtuber… they share ONE drink on a pub crawl and i’m writing vows”

“this is the slowest of burns and i’m obsessed.”

“her saying ‘that’s not dating’ while will looks at her like THAT? yeah i screamed”

Your group chat was on fire.

Joe: ur a menace and ur fans want you to marry will

Alfie: i say u milk it. fake date him for views

Joe: or real date him for love

Alfie: LAME

Joe: grow up

And then —

You got a DM.

WillNE: just watched the chris video

you’re dangerously good at not getting flustered

next time i’m raising the stakes

(aka: i’m calling the next pub. don’t ghost me.)

You stared at the message for a good ten seconds, heart doing a thing it hadn’t done in — well, five years and seventeen days.

And maybe the streak wasn’t technically broken.

But something had definitely cracked.

[fqolai]

thinking about the new avengers first fight. they have a million firsts together and a million fights. but i mean their first really big, really bad fight. like team is breaking up kind of fight. it’s bound to happen and probably already did in those fourteen months we skipped.

i’m not a fic writer at all but here’s how i think it would play out...

with no one taking them seriously as the new avengers, tensions are high. especially for valentina. she banked everything she had left, which was admittedly, not much, on this whole sham. everyone’s doubting them. no one believes they measure up to the old avengers. and to top it all off, sam wilson is threatening to sue.

feeling pressured to get them good publicity, valentina arranges — what should’ve been — a layup for them. some small community assignment. all they had to do was show up, smile for the cameras, shake a few hands, etc. but one thing led to another and boom: utter catastrophe.

the press is having a field day. fourteen year olds on tiktok are having the time of their lives. reddit users have never felt so employed.

everyone on the team is arguing. the worst in everyone is coming out. alexei is trying to keep the team positive but it’s only making things worse (and everyone more annoyed). it’s getting bad and bob is frightened.

yelena… who has finally got a taste of what walking in her sisters footsteps felt like — who finally had a shot at a real family, at belonging — can see it all crumbling. she’s trying to hold them together (maybe even trying too hard). it comes from a place of love, of desperation, but she can’t express that in the moment.

ava can see the end coming and she’s seen enough to know it’s better to leave than to be left behind. so she’s the first to throw in the towel.

john follows quickly after. he should’ve known this would never work out. alexei, confident that he can bring them back around, rushes after them.

bucky had been silent the whole time. and yelena, in her anger, lashes out at him. she accuses bucky of not really being a part of the team. of never really letting any of them in. of never getting to know them or letting them get to know him. oh, how he must be so relieved that he can go back to sam wilson now that the whole charade is over. no pesky complications getting in his way.

yelena storms out and bucky doesn’t bother to follow.

and mel? mel needs a raise. again. cleaning up valentina’s messes is never an easy task. but this might just be her toughest assignment yet.

in talking with bucky, mel realizes that they’re all still dealing with their traumas and regrets and that maybe they just need a push in the right direction.

and quickly. valentina is seriously considering creating a world-ending event to bring them all back together. that cannot happen.

so she goes to yelena first. makes it clear val didn’t send her and asks how she’s doing. yelena insists she’s fine. who needed the avengers anyway? not her. and what a relief to no longer have to worry about valentina or the public breathing down their necks and judging their every move.

mel asks after bob. how is he doing? it must’ve been hard on him with the team breaking up and all. yelena stops to realize that in her anger, she didn’t check in on him before leaving. she had promised him they would stick together. yet, she had broken promise.

she sets out to find him and make things right.

she finds bob in his room in the tower. the darkness creeping up on him. she pulls him back. they’re still a family. sometimes family fights. but it will work out in the end. yelena does her best to sound more confident than she feels. she thinks bob can probably see right through it though.

mel finds alexei after. he’s inconsolable. he’s lost yelena again. he couldn’t stop their team from breaking up. he had to watch the light slowly fade from yelena’s eyes as the arguments got louder and louder. mel points out that he hasn’t lost anyone yet. yelena or the team. but he could, if he doesn’t do something about it. alexei leaves, convinced that a grand gesture is the only way to bring the team back together and bring some light back to yelena's eyes.

next, mel goes to john, who is spiraling into new levels of self-hatred. she thinks she sees him arguing with a reddit user under a burner account before he manages to hide his phone screen from her.

mel asks about his ex-wife. how are the custody negotiations going? she heard he got visitation once a week. that olivia was finally starting to trust him again. though, being an avenger after all, it may be hard to keep to a regular schedule. but, hey, on the bright side, if the avengers are done, that means john has free time on his hands. he can go back home, make things right with olivia, get a regular 9-5, watch the rest of the action play out on social media like everyone else these days. maybe that would be enough?

john sees through what she’s trying to do, but he supposes that she’s not wrong. he wouldn’t be satisfied with that life. she leaves him with a lot to think about.

then mel goes to find ava. she asks her why she was the first one to walk out. mel understands. it’s scary to let people in and know that they’re the only ones with the power to hurt you as a result. but if ava recalls, no one had mentioned leaving until she had brought it up. it was only after ava had left, that the others had followed.

was she too ready to give up at the first sign of strive? to protect what was left of her already fragile heart. perhaps, she had been too hasty...

bucky goes to see sam. to tell him… he was right? it all blew up in their faces? it was never gonna work out? whatever he meant to say, he doesn’t get a chance.

you see, sam has some opinions on this so-calle d‘team’ if that’s what they still are. he doesn’t know them. not really. he only sees what anyone else on the outside does:

yelena, an assassin, who loves being an avenger and all the glory that comes with it. who’s never had to work to make up for the bad things she’s done. and didn’t she just try to kill clint last christmas?? (sam doesn’t know how much she regrets what she’s done. that being an avenger is how she begins to make up for it all. and the whole killing clint thing, well… bucky can’t really defend that and if he’s being honest, it’s the first he’s heard of it)

alexei, a former soviet asset, working for one of america’s biggest enemies for most his life, and seems to want nothing more than to go back to the good old days. (sam doesn’t know about alexei’s biggest mistakes. and maybe that’s a blessing in disguise. but he doesn’t know alexei’s regrets. of allowing natasha and yelena to be taken to the red room. of not being there for his daughter who died worlds away. of almost losing yelena right in front of him. of failing both his daughters, time and time again, and trying to get it right this time)

john walker, a murderer, an asshole, who killed a man with steve’s shield. who’s wife left him and took custody of his child with her. whose ego won’t allow him to admit that he’s a terrible person. (sam knows john more than the others, certainly, but he hasn’t seen what bucky has over the last year... sam doesn’t know that john hates himself more than anyone could ever hate him for all those reasons and more. and that’s not to say he’s absolved of his sins because he feels bad about them. but bucky had heard from yelena about john nearly walking straight off the edge of the elevator shaft when faced with those regrets… hard to argue about the asshole part though)

ava starr, who sam knows has some history with scott before going completely off the grid. she seems to have as much trouble playing with others and making nice as the rest of them. self-isolating. alone. doesn’t really spell ‘reliable teammate’ does it? (sam wasn’t there during the fight. he doesn’t know that she was the first to suggest going after yelena in the void. he doesn’t know that she’s the first one to throw herself into danger to protect the people she cares about. that she would always come back for them and never leave anyone behind in battle)

and who the hell is this bob guy anyway???

it was all wrong. they were never a real team. not to sam. not to the public either. they're not cut out to be heros and everyone knows it.

but bucky? bucky who was the winter soldier. who was a former asset, though, against his will. who's killed a lot more people than john walker ever could. who has trouble nurturing his friendships and is alone more times than not. who is lucky enough to be one of bob’s friends.

for the first time since this had happened to them all, bucky gets defensive. protective of this thing they had made their own. hearing sam speak about all the reasons why the others weren't good people and realizing how much he has in common with them really puts things into perspective.

sam doesn’t mean to offend bucky. bucky isn’t like them after all. he’s different. but bucky isn’t so sure that’s true.

defensive and faced with their differences, bucky decides to leave without telling sam that the team was done and goes for a long walk. he has a lot to think about.

back at avengers tower, ava, the first to come back, finds yelena and bob asleep on opposite ends of the couch. a movie still on the tv. she turns the volume down and settles into the reclining chair for the night.

the next morning they awake to john loudly complaining about the mess left out. bob volunteers to clean up and do the dishes.

ava and john quietly acknowledge the other came back. but they don’t make a big deal about it.

bucky returns to the tower next. yelena teases him. says that he looks awful. like he hasn’t slept. bucky knows it's her way of saying that it was good to have him back. her way of apologizing for how they’d left things. bucky keeps the mood light. jokes that this is where is bed was so of course he didn’t sleep. they don’t talk about it any further, just an unspoken agreement to let bygones be bygones.

this is when alexei returns. he teases yelena about how cute she and bob were, snoring away on the couch. sleeping like the dead. yelena tries to protest that she doesn’t snore but doesn’t get the chance — not that anyone would have believed her.

alexei ushers them into another room where he's set up a huge party while they were sleeping, with mel’s help, of course, to celebrate their 1 year anniversary as a team. it hasn't been one year yet technically, but alexei insists it’s close enough (and "happy anniversary" was the only cake topper left at the market so they’d just have to go with it).

alexei gets emotional about how much the team means to him. and about how much he knows it means to yelena. how they need to do better. to really be there for one another.

yelena, teary-eyed, accepts a hug from her dad. says she doesn’t blame anyone for their mistakes at valentina’s stupid publicity event. being honest, they never should’ve agreed to go to begin with.

bob repeats what yelena had told him the night before. that family fights but they always come back together.

ava apologizes for being the first to leave. she promises not to assume the worst anymore and to stick around, even when it gets tough.

john jokes that the team is better with him on it anyway. what with his practical skillset. no one is amused. but he admits that maybe, just maybe, he’s better with the team at his side too.

everyone turns to bucky. it’s his turn now.

it looks painful for him, but bucky opens up about how being open to friendships is a reoccurring issue for him, according to his therapit anyway. this is the first time he’s had people who truly understand the things he’s been though. who have been through some of those same things. this is all new to him: the whole letting people in thing. but he's making an effort to learn to trust them. they'll just need to be a little patient with him.

john commends him for the beautiful speech. bucky tells him to shut up. they enjoy alexei’s party.

mel calls valentina to let her know the crisis has been averted. and to cancel the attack she was planning for new york, for god's sake.

[dark-l-angel]

JASON TODD - Drunk confession

~ 2:36 AM ~

~ Your lovely lil apartment ~

You were minding your own peaceful business.. cursed TikToks, fuzzy socks, and leftover pizza..

BANG. BANG. BANG.

The door... The blood in your body froze from fear..

And then came the voice.

"Y/N, MY LOVE! OPEN THY GATE OF SOLITUDE!"

Oh god. Not again.

You shuffled to the door and cracked it open. And there he was.

Jason Peter Todd. Leather jacket all askew, hair in wild disarray, standing like a man who'd lost a duel and his dignity. One boot on. One boot off. Bottle of bourbon held aloft like a sword of truth.

"Jason.. what the hell are you..?"

"Shhh." He placed a finger on your lips. Missed... Hit your chin instead. "I have… something important to say."

You stared at him. "You're drunk."

"Drunk?" he gasped, offended. "No. I am in love. And also slightly buzzed."

You pulled him inside before he could recite Hamlet on the sidewalk. Again.

He flopped onto your couch with the grace of a bag of bricks. "You know… I fought a guy tonight. A real bastard. Big. Muscles. Probably eats protein powder raw. And I won, Y/N. I won for YOU."

"Jason, please tell me you didn’t tell someone you were fighting for my honor..."

"I told him I was in love with the prettiest girl in Gotham and he said 'who' and I said 'YOU' and then I punched him in the face and broke my knuckle and also my soul."

You blinked. "You’re such a dumbass."

He dramatically rolled onto his side. Giving you his charming smirk "But I’m your dumbass, right?"

You didn’t answer. Not immediately. He pouted like a kicked puppy. Then sniffled.

"Oh my god" you said. "Are you crying?"

"I’m EMOTIONAL, Y/N!" he wailed. "You make me feel things and I don’t know how to cope! I used to be cool! I used to be broody and sexy and mysterious and now I see you and I giggle like a damn fucking schoolgirl!!!"

You covered your mouth, trying not to laugh. "A giggle?"

"YES. Like a dainty maiden. THIS IS YOUR FAULT. I want YOU to know that."

You sat beside him and pulled the bottle out of his hand. "You’re going to hate yourself tomorrow."

"no, i won’t"he mumbled, flopping his head into your lap. "Because tomorrow, I’ll still be in love with you. And also hungover. But mostly in love."

"..You’re lucky you’re pretty."

"Damn right I am" he whispered, already snoring with a smile on his pretty face.

~ 4:18 PM ~

Jason stirred on your couch, a glittery pink blanket over him, a glass of water beside the couch…

Then, those heavy-lashed eyes blinked open. He squinted like the light offended him.

"ugh... Did I die?"

You smirked. "Unfortunately not."

"Damn."

He sat up, groaning, clutching his head. "God.. what did I say?"

"Oh, not much. Just that you were hopelessly in love with me. That I was the sun to your broken miserable universe. That you giggle like a dainty maiden."

You were curled up in the corner of the couch, watching his shocked face as you recall him mumbling in his sleep about someone named Tony 'with two knives and no manners'. and as you played a video of him, yelling, "Y/N IS THE SUN TO MY BROKEN, MISERABLE UNIVERSE" at the top of his lungs.

"You recorded me?" he groans.

"Oh, sweetheart. I live for content."

He turned bright red. The tips of his ears betrayed him first.

"I take it back" he grunted, rubbing his face. "I wanna die now" he threw himself back on the couch.

You laughed, scooting closer. "Don’t worry. I’m only mildly traumatized."

He immediately sat down, glanced at you. "..You’re not freaked out?"

"About the Shakespearean meltdown? A little. About the rest? No."

Jason stared at the floor. His voice was quieter now. "I meant it, you know."

You looked at him.

He kept talking, eyes on his hands, thumbs fidgeting against each other like they were confessing, too.

"I’ve been trying to not say it. For months. Hell, maybe years. Thought maybe if I ignored it, it’d go away. But it doesn’t. It just gets louder. Every time you laugh. Every time you patch me up. Every time you don’t give up on me even when I’m the biggest asshole in Gotham... It's just your existence itself..."

You swallowed. Your heart thudded loud in your chest.

He finally looked up at you. And god, the sincerity in his eyes could knock the wind out of anyone.

"I love you Y/N. Not in the 'oh-we’ve-got-a-thing' kinda way. I mean deep. Stupid deep. Scares the hell out of me deep." You blinked back the sting of something in your throat. "Jason…"

He gave a lopsided smile. "You don’t have to say it back. I know I’m... a lot. I just didn’t wanna keep pretending I don’t look at you like you hung the damn stars."

You reached for his hand, lacing your fingers through his, and leaned your forehead against his. "You idiot" you whispered. "I’ve been in love with you since the day you brought me cold pizza and a bullet wound like it was a housewarming gift."

He chuckled.. low, raspy and warm. "Classy of me." You swear you can feel his heart beating loudly as that blush of his glittered on his cheeks, the way his smile just became so full of pure joy "I thought so".

"..may I? Please?" You nod as he kissed you. Gentle, slow, and so full of everything he'd tried to hide for way too long. No dramatics. No explosions. Just Jason Todd, finally... Not finding a shelter.. but finally finding someone to call home ❤️

A/n : pls do not steal and if you did just give me credits.

[aromantic-goldfishdeactivated202]

I find it so funny, in light of TikTok’s imminent American demise, that even now they aren’t considering moving to tumblr. The last two social media refugee crises (Twitter -> X and whatever happened with Reddit) prompted a wave of wide-eyed new baffled tumblr users to flood this app and yet last I heard all of the tiktokers are flooding en-masse a Chinese social media app. That is entirely in Mandarin. Instead of moving to tumblr.

[awomanunkind]

the messy hair hanging around the headphones oh my god just kill me now

[supmaww]

that’s actually so funny. new goal in life is to have a 45 minute video from a commentary youtuber titled “the wampus situation”. I hope they spread misinformation and for their audience to be comprised almost completely of people who aren’t involved in the community in the slightest but wanted a drama video to watch while eating dinner ❤️ can’t quit yet I have to be canceled

[spilledmoonlight]

currently experiencing an incomprehensible level of rock bottom right now

[sapphosclown]

just discovered rise of the pink ladies i am perhaps in love with cynthia

[littletrashpile]

Can I just say I’m really proud of myself for being totally honest even though it hurts. My throat hurts a lot, but I feel very… free. I’m finding relief in this honesty, this full expression of myself in a place that’s all my own. I’m not, what’s it called, censoring myself and limiting my words, wants, and wemotions. Hehe I made myself laugh.

[partiallysame]

Ghost gets no bitches and he reminds me of whatever that TikTok audio is that’s like “how’d you get her?” And the other person is like “get her? No she grabbed me by the throat and told me I was hers”.

Word count: 800

Warnings: none (ghost being immediately whipped)

So hear me out you’re at the grocery store and while walking down the aisles you see this behemoth of a man. Big muscle sexy, surgical mask covering his face. You want. What to say? How should you approach? Ah yes you need help getting something from the top shelf. Stepping so you’re in his line of sight

“Could you come here?” You ask him and he just gives you a blank stare. Raising your eyebrows clearly waiting for a response he turns around looking for who you could be talking to and who is clearly not listening to you. When he sees no one else in the aisle he slowly points at himself, questioning you. “Yes you.” You smile trying to hold in a laugh. Quickly adding a “please” in the sweetest little voice and he is scurrying over to you.

“Could you please reach that box for me?” Ghost raises his arm up and points to a box when you nod confirming that’s the one you want he hands it to you. “That one too please” he obeys. You have him hand you two more boxes (not needing any of them). Then you try to push your luck a little. “Wait not this one” you hand him a box back and he returns it to the shelf. Before you know it you’ve had this man put all the boxes back just to hand them to you again. A smirk plastered on your face. Not once did the large man question you, not when you were looking up at him with those pretty eyes.

“Ok done with this aisle. Come on.” You start walking and his feet are following you. He hasn’t said a word to you but is following you around the store like a puppy. Down the next aisle you pointed at something (well within your reach) and he handed it you.

“Are you always this obedient?” You watched his eyes go wide but he found himself nodding. He’d probably say yes to anything you ask when you’re looking at him like that, like you want to eat him whole. His answer brought a smile to your face and he swore his knees were gonna buckle. You held out your hand, “phone.” It was a statement not a question and he quickly (fumbling) pulled his phone from his pocket and handed it to you. When you saw it was locked you looked up at him moving the phone ever so slightly towards him. You had meant for him to take the phone and unlock it but instead he mumbled out “0000” a small but dramatic gasp left your lips “oh so he does speak.” You typed in the 4 digits and the phone opened. You looked up at him when the basic passcode worked. “Simple and obedient. Just how I like ‘em” ghost swallowed hard. No one has ever treated him like this. Spoke to him like this. Not even Price. He should be offended? Insulted? Definitely not turned on. Right? (mark him down and scared AND horny). You handed his phone back to him, your number and name resting on his screen. He reached to take the phone from you, but you didn’t let go. Fingers touching you looked up at him “you better call me. I’ll be real sad if you dont.” He swore he was gonna pass out. Before you let go of his phone, hands still touching, heavy steps made their way into your aisle.

“Aye lieutenant there ye are. Been wandering round lookin fer ya.” Soap called down the aisle.

Ghost refused to acknowledge his friend calling for him, keeping eye contact with you. Your smile got bigger as you let go of the phone.

“Lieutenant huh? That mean you know how to give orders too?” He nodded again. “Then I’m definitely going to need you to call me. I’d like to see that.” Your eyes shamelessly raked down his figure. Fuck he needs to hold on to something.

Once you finally walked away, Soap approached quickly asking who you were and when ghosted shrugged his shoulders “I don’t know.” (But he’s gonna that’s for sure)

“She’s a fine looking lass I’m gonna go talk to her.” Ghost’s hand moved fast, grabbing the back of Soap’s neck guiding (pushing) him in the opposite direction of you. He was thanking god you saw him first and not Soap. If you had talked to Soap like that, ghost knew you’d have him walking on a leash (who’s he kidding if you had asked ghost would’ve barked)

Part 2 Part 2.5 part 3

[thebibliosphere]

Y’all are going to have to gag me because I am going to get even more fucking annoying on my DC bullshit.

He looks so good as Clark.

He’s got that nervous-bewildered look Christopher Reeves did so well while still looking like a walking refrigerator. I’m going to throw up. Please be good. Please. I’m on my knees. My Superman movie crops have been withering for so long...

ID: a TikTok from user @/guywithamoviecamera facing the camera who asks, “hey, do you guys mind watching Superman for a moment?” as he places the camera down in front of actor David Corenswet dressed as Clark Kent who looks at the camera in confusion and says, “sorry, watching who? Who are you supposed to be watching?” with increasing concern as he realizes his cover is blown. /end ID