cornyonmains

[cornyonmains]

@stvksn on ig

[cornyonmains]

Sometimes I worry about who I am as a person.

About two years ago I figured out the company I work for was basically stalking me on our discussion form and implementing my QC suggestions.

So, like any rational and well-adjusted human being would do, I immediately started trying to socially engineer myself and my coworkers a pay bump. I began the journey with good intentions. And I did get us our raise. But where I fucked up is that I actually didn't know how good my own idea was, because it reduced labor needs and got a bunch of people laid off.

Stuff like this is why I don't use hashtags. My toxic quality is charismatic stupidity. I should never be listened to, but people do, because they wanna see where I go when I'm on my bullshit. Which is nowhere. I'm the Pied Piper of Disappointment.

I was not trying to aid and abet capitalism this way. I just wanted a raise.

[cornyonmains]

One of the great things about being a nondescript looking brunette is that if I ever need a self-esteem boost, I can just go to the karaoke bar in my town Boomers like, sing White Rabbit, and get compliments all night about how I look like a young Grace Slick.

NGL I need that shit as I close in on 40. I don't even care that it's because they're drunk, I'll take what I can get.

[cornyonmains]

Thinking about letting the intrusive thoughts win and getting another wiener dog.

[cornyonmains]

To Anyone Currently Following Me

I would like to apologize to anyone who follows me I haven't followed back. It's because I've been aggressively targeted by porn bots ever since I had a post go viral in The Last Of Us hashtags, likely due to an innuendo involving falling into holes. But yeah, people get lost in the mix. I'm at 5,000 followers and counting and have completely lost control of the situation. Anyways, if you followed me, and I haven't followed back, just interact with this post in some way and I'll add you.

I'm not gonna lie folks, the only thing I know how to do on this website is let the intrusive thoughts win. I think I've been on here three years and I still don't know how to decorate my page, I only started using hashtags consistently 3 months ago. I can't even figure out how to center the text to give my page a description, not that I was ever going to do that, but still, I'm just painting a picture of who you're dealing with. It's honestly crazy I work as as a search engine analyst. I am aggressively incompetent with computers. But I'm getting off on a tangent, so let me get back on track.

Anyways, yeah, let me know you're an actual person and I'll follow you. And to be quite honest the porn isn't an issue, it's that Gen Z's manner of hornyposting is aggressively uncomfortable. It's too influenced by trauma. I get enough of that with my occasional forays into the Thai BL scene.

And just in case my ADHD made this post completely unreadable:

tl;dr If I haven't followed you back, let me know on this post. Porn bots are mean to me and I don't 'puter good.

[cornyonmains]

How is Tumblr going to personally attack me like this on a Friday?

[cornyonmains]

Can someone explain why, one day, laptop keyboards used to work, and then one day I woke up to find I had to set my repeat and delay rates to months to get them to stop typing double letters?

When in the absolute fuck did this become a thing?

[cornyonmains]

Okay, no, but legitimately, this tech bro takedown China just pulled with DeepSeek is hilarious to me, because it's so fucking emblematic of why capitalism is about as viable an ideology as feudalism.

Tech bros marketed themselves as edgy disruptors here in the US, then they had the absolute audacity to start swinging their dicks at a country that knows exactly what a paper tiger looks like.

China really said, "Okay, now we're going to disrupt you, and we're going to do it for $18 and an Applebee's coupon so all your investors know how full of shit you weird little Nazi dorks actually are. And then we're going to give it out for free."

These tech bros just got the rudest wake-up call of a lifetime. Releasing a better piece of technology for a minute fraction of the price with cheaper hardware, I mean that was a killing blow right there. Making it open source, that was China telling these tech bros they believe in something more than making money. That they're willing to fight without a soulless profit margin in mind.

When I tell you that's the kind of messaging that has Wall Street shitting every pair of pants they own...

See, shit like this is why most CEOs are so camera shy. Guys like Elon and Mark, who want to play oligarch, who want to be mask off about how much of the show they're actually running, who want to play with the big boys on the world stage now that they've got their foot in the door just got knocked flat on their asses and it's a thing of beauty to behold. And they put that target on their own backs.

They just learned that money can't, in fact, always rig things in your favor, and I'm here for it.

[cornyonmains]

Lmao Got a few days off because an intern uploaded a bunch of documents with UI and resource retrieval errors while managers had their backs turned going over data. Something, by the way, which I saw coming after 5 years in freelance, so I hit my quotas early. I got free time this week. I might get real wild and order my ass a book nook.

[cornyonmains]

[cornyonmains]

Corn dogs are named for their traditional meat, the unicorn. As unicorns are now extinct, they can only be referred to properly as ‘Corn Dogs and not “Unicorn Dogs” as they were prior to 2009.

[cornyonmains]

I’m at an age where drinking without at least two days off is an act of self-hate.

[cornyonmains]

[cornyonmains]

There's nothing in this world that sucks more than a free to play weekend on your favorite game. There's noobs in expert as far as the eye can see.

[cornyonmains]

I will never be over the fact that I can just go to the store and buy more weed when I’m out. The future is here.

[cornyonmains]

i respect those people who have sideblogs for all their different interests, if you follow me, you’ll just have to accept you’ll be submitted to whatever nonsense i’m into at the moment

[cornyonmains]

I love you, George Takei.