cornyonmains

[cornyonmains]

American naturalization test

[cornyonmains]

Kind of annoyed with my grandma right now. My niece is doing really well in school, reading grade levels ahead, her art is the same. She's a little asshole, but she's smart. So my grandma goes out and gets her an iPhone. The things melting the brain of Gen Alpha to the extent I think it should be made illegal for anyone under 16 to have a fucking phone. Letting her watch YouTube on the living room TV was well enough for a 9 year old. A phone is completely out of pocket.

[cornyonmains]

Inshallah he will be stirred into a fine fry

A delicious meal

[cornyonmains]

[cornyonmains]

My family always bags on me for refusing to eat frozen burritos with meat in them. I had a REALLY bad case of food poisoning as a kid, so to this day I'm still really sketchy about where I wat meat from, and the frozen burritos never passed the smell test with me.

And that's why my brother got listeria and I didn't. Bet he never calls me Polly Pickypants again. I also bet he never eats a box of taquitos with undetermined origins again either.

[cornyonmains]

There's this guy who, when my job pulled down geo restrictions so they could cut wages, got so righteously pissed, he disseminated a program that allowed anyone to break into any market they wanted with as many accounts as they wanted. It got so bad the apps had to not only put geo restrictions back up, they're currently paying anyone who knows how to do the work double since the public work pools are just saturated with spammers.

This man did more for freelance worker protections than any sitting President.

[cornyonmains]

My workplace is the world's funniest social experiment. Imagine a discussion forum filled with people from every corner of the world who don't always see a lot of cultural crossover. We find the stupidest shit to argue about. We once spent three days on a thread arguing about the best way to make eggs. It's just like bland work conversation until someone snaps and is like, "Fuck it, we all eat eggs, let's fight about it."

Then we just randomly default back to trying to help each other figure out how to get features to highlight in a bugged job until somebody who wants to watch the world burn is like, "I think France has better bread than Germany."

Then Team Rocket's blasting right off again.

Honestly, rich people doing this shit is why wars happen. When people are broke, we just argue for awhile, get bored, and disperse.

[cornyonmains]

Fresh sheets, just got out of the shower, snuggled up with my dog in bed and playing Dreamlight Valley. It really is the little things. <3

[cornyonmains]

Florists on Fény street market, Budapest, 1986. From the Budapest Municipal Photography Company archive. 

[cornyonmains]

[cornyonmains]

Anyone else buying like hell before the tariffs hit? I got a $100 bonus this week and nearly dropped dead from relief because it paid for this video game I was wanting.

I'm seriously so worried about these tariffs. I need a laptop for work. I also enjoy gaming. So, the most cost efficient solution was just to buy a nice gaming laptop instead of two machines. I'm on an MSI Stealth. It's a good laptop, but a machine of war it is not. And as far as a laptop is concerned, I'm riding in on a red horse.

One time, I knocked out the internet in every house on my block. It's the fastest I've ever seen a cable company move. They came down on my ass like the Feds and would not tell me what I did. All they said was I created interference. Another time, I once had thermal expansion in my laptop battery so severe, that the IT guy I went to told me the only reason he could come up with for it not exploding on me was God playing favorites.

I bought a new cooling pad. Light a candle for me Tumblr. It's gonna be a rough four years.

[cornyonmains]

Taking advantage of some early Black Friday deals. Just got a new cooling pad that's twice as good as my old one for the same price. Really looking forward to that since I'm buying a game tomorrow that's going to fry my laptop like an egg.

[cornyonmains]

I have a job. The problem is heterosexuality peaked with Gomez and Morticia. It's boring now.

[cornyonmains]

Still not emotionally over the time Pedro Pascal caught me saying Oberyn Martell was just Inigo Montoya with better hair on Twitter. I didn't even hashtag it.

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I kind of feel like this is what happened with Democrats and the progressive wing of the party. I will never understand why the DNC let loose with that Bernie bro shit when they were looking at the data and saw what kind of trouble they'd be in if they lost progressives. The only good thing that's come of this is Democrats finally telling Nancy Pelosi to shut the fuck up, but too little too late.

Really good Twitter thread originally about Elon Musk and Twitter, but also applies to Netflix and a lot of other corporations.

Full thread. Text transcription under cut.

Keep reading

[cornyonmains]

Senpai says you’re welcome

[cornyonmains]

Promised my dog a treat. Went to the bag and found it empty. I had to give her my last two turkey slices. Life is only pain.