#and it has only been downhill from there
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Photos taken moments before disaster
#btw it was absolutely this Helena edit that made me want to watch kuroshitsuji#and it was absolutely this arc that made me wamt to continue pulling through the series when it got really fucking weird in s1#and at that point i just said fuck it why not read the manga#and found out it was at my local library#so i made a spreadsheet organizing it all#and went and got a library card#and read all of the manga in a bit over a month#and it has only been downhill from there
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#mystic messenger#mystic messenger incorrect quote#or is it an imagine#since the source is my own mind#this post is my magnum opus#it will only go downhill from here#rfa#this concept has been living rent free in my head for weeks
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where are all my fellow victims of the radio-silence-to-obsessed-with-gay-fiction-podcasts-pipeline at?
#i know i'm not the only one#this book made me start wtnv and it has been downhill from there (affectionately)#radio silence#osemanverse#wtnv#welcome to night vale#tma#the magnus archives#aled last#universe city#frances janvier#universe city podcast#my post
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maybe rewatching my silly cartoons and pretending like it’s still releasing weekly will heal me
#I’m just saying: once my weekly Saturday morning watchalongs ended my life has only been downhill from there#tbf there’s TGAMM but idk it’s just not the same#candy laments#Gravity Falls#steven universe#amphibia#the owl house
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ACTION COMICS #1075
my sillies... love clark mentally jotting down a note to tease kara about this later. the cousins of all time.
#finally some good fucking food in this story (<- has only been skimming it since it started)#she's this 🤏 big#kara zor el#clark kent#wednesday spoilers#zor's brunette bob isn't serving. sorry to zor.#he peaked in the new krypton era of post crisis and it's all been downhill from there.
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i dont know if i can finish this movie
#just abt 27 min into 1hr45#and things appear to be peaking for the main character. which means#its only gonna go downhill from here (its a horror movie)#i dont know that technically tagalog is my first language as i (no longer?) speak it#but you know how they say things like media/literature are more embarrassing/vulnerable in ur first language#yeah. i would be significantly further into this movie if i didnt keep pausing it arhgdfbjgv#UNPROFESSIONAL. HER DIRECT SUPERVISOR IS HITTING ON HER AT WORK? (shes clocking out but still)#actually wait. i realise that he was the supervising TRAINER#so given that shes now an employee... maybe he asked her out specifically because hes no longer her direct supervisor?#okkkkk i take it back. still shes gotta be like twice his age???#andddd thats gotta be a ghost. ok#or like. idk is there an aswang equivalent to a vampire needing to be invited#is that why its called sunod???#well actually maybe that doesnt make sense. ive been translating that as 'follow' in my head#but it also means 'next'?#NEVERMIND I TAKE IT BACK AGAIN. HES STILL HER SUPERVISOR#and why is she answering her phone on the work floor!#<- has only ever worked secure settings. maybe this is normal idk#..........................he is now giving her an advance against company policy.#-_-.............................................................................. hes physically coming on to her#OH FUCK she just slapped him.#oh fuck she just kneed him in the balls. oh that job is gone#she wasnt immediately fired and hes acting normal at the weekly meeting.........................................#oh shit . her daughter (or whatever thing is possessing/replacing her) overheard. this guy is gonna die lol
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starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal
#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept#i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them#if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens#i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it#i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut#it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair#my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking#if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back#if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off#ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal#but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends#i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens#and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too#since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out#i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now#now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that#i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly.#if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill#in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it#my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes#sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know???#but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested#i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore#i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world
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everytime i think of any plot idea for geist stuff i just end up relating it to a buffy episode, this kinda sucks actually
#guy who has only watched buffy: getting a lot of buffy vibes from this#okay so the plan for geist for a while has been that a person they were stealing from dies during a heist#and shit goes downhill cause of it#but i keep flip flopping back and forth between it being framed on them or if they actually did it#but i think i might have settled on it was framed but it was framed so well geist genuinely thinks it was them#which is... a plot of a buffy s6 episode#but still i think its the best idea? thoughts and opinions would be appreciated tho#klepto talks to himself#klepto rants about ocs#geist ii [oc]
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raises my hand i actually like the concept of a shitty parent getting better i just hate when its used to be like "im good now so you should forgive me."
people grow and change and hurt people!!! and those hurt people deserve to move on without having to forgive their abuser!!!
#this is why i get defensive when ppl make all sorts of reasons why rhinedottir did what she did#if she killed dorian for being imperfect then whatever!! i hate her for that but you dont have to#not only does it go with her little mental break that she 100% had lets be honest#it also fits the “Perfectionist” thing that the sinners were trying so hard to achieve#it MAKES SENSE#even if its nuanced that doesnt make it ok!!! but at the same time i dont think shes 100% stuck to being a terrible person nor do i think++#shes always been a bad mother#i think she was a great mother before everything went downhill and honestly if she gained a sense of apathy towards her kids itd MAKE SENSE#ofc im not saying this is true. im just saying its possible and it doesnt take away from her as a character#elynas is just as reliable a source as albedo dare i say!!! he was not in a strange mindset bc he wasnt corrupt like durin#the way he described her was valid. so was albedos when he said she threatened to leave him.#if the trauma from the cataclysm is what caused everything#that makes sense#but its not an excuse and it doenst mean she had some extra hidden reason for what she did. sometimes people are bad people!!! clearly she+#did SOMETHING right with albedo because he has a sense of morality. but even so you can TELL shes not a good mom EVEN TO HIM#i dont know where im going with this im getting turned around UHM#TLDR; shes a terrible mother. and a pretty bad person. but that doesnt mean im saying shes evil without nuance#it just means what it sounds like#plenty of parents fucking SUCK without meaning to. whether she cared or not she was still a pretty bad mother. thats all im saying#im willing ot talk about her but im NOT willing to have people argue that any of her children deserved what they got.#not albedo and NOT dorian.#elynas to dorian to albedo is a great pipeline for her as a character. which is why i like to believe elynas came first;#alfisol and dorian came close to last#and then albedo came last long after the others#every character has nuance however i am allowed to dislike them despite that#tzu rambles#that said i understand how it comes off as biased when i only talk about her children but unfortunately her children are the only reason i+#know about her at all. thye are my favorites and my content centers around them </3
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Called my aunt to wish her a happy birthday and we spent an hour discussing what I was doing with my life 😭
#my uncle wants me to go get a PhD in quant or finance or information systems and then become a professor#OR#be a lawyer or a dentist#the PhD thing was very specifically catered when I was like 👉🏽👈🏽 I wanna teach#none of those things sound all that appealing..#space law Has Potential#but I think it would make me want to rip my hair out#they were both like. you have two years but then figure your life out by then#and then they were like. what is ur cousin doing. has he proposed yet#and I was like ??? it hasn’t even bee n a year?? I think they’re going to Japan#and oopsies apparently he had not told them they were going to Japan#my bad#after I. very reasonably said it makes sense to wait 2-3 years#he went ‘what is there going to be left to talk about then. life is all downhill from there. might as well get married now’#and. I’ve never ever ever heard that from a human being before#WHAT DO U MEAN YOULL RUN OUT OF THINGS TO TALK ABOUT#I could never#anyways love having my existential crises exacerbated by familial interactions#they just Say Things#I need to study. I’m gonna go do that maybe#actually no I want to complain more. my uncle keeps saying that the problem with space is that there’s only a few cities that work on it.#and that’s gonna limit my choice of partner#(so funny how they say partner. they are very homophobic and have no idea or they’d go THE MAN YOU MARRY like my mother does)#I feel like space is growing…#altho I’m sure that’s what people thought in the 60s and 70s and 80s and 90s#idk some of these bitches have been around since like the 70s and 80s and 90s#so it’s not like they all got fired immediately#my dental hygienist was telling me space was great until Obama slashed the budget#I didn’t have anything to say back considering I was 8 when he was elected and know v little about his policies#anyways. this is a psa to not call ur relatives even to wish them happy bday because then they’ll trap u in conversation and make u question
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#yeah man.. had a few hours of back and forth argument with my friend..idk really if i want to call her that now#but it was an eye opening mess.. it all started with her sending me dreadwolf trailer and i said it's all promises talk#and literally it went downhill from there she claimed that it's been announced like a year ago i said it's been in development for years#it then went to a fandom talk and how she thinks people in fandoms are pathetic and etc bullshit#how being a fan of something is not normal#and being invested in fiction and vgs and fandoms is something ppl with little responsibility do..#man i can't even write out all the stuff she said i genuinely felt so bad after this argument#i don't think i ever want to speak to her again#people having fun in her understanding is pathetic childish and a sign of a person not having enough responsibilities in life??#jfc i never realized just how truly toxic she is...#i mean deep down i did i just didn't want to admit to myself.. her general attitude to people being fans of something is just sickening#i'm determined to not write to her at all unless she reaches out which i doubt#she just shitted on everything despite me trying to expain how fiction can even literally save people#i tried expaining to her why some people are telling other ppl to not buy dreadwolf and pirate instead#i said about the fucked over emplyees of bioware and what she said was#it's a cruel world but idgaf it's business cry me a river - something along these lines#she literally has zero empathy i understand it now#the way she only selectively cares about wars going on in world#i said if people can boycott companies that support wars why cant they also support people who suffer from companies#she said and i qoute 'to compare war to people being fired wow that's something'#i was not comparing i just tried to find empathy in her to no avail#anyways.. i am so dissapointed in her and in myself that i didn't see this sooner#tbd
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What is it about laying in bed at 2am that just makes me STEW about fandom treatment of aroace characters
#stewing and seething#people are only okay with a character being aroace as long as they’re the type of aroace that can still me shipped#and if they’re not it doesn’t matter because people learned some aroaces date or have sex and it’s been all downhill from there#if Mr Alastor hotel has taught us anything it’s that people don’t care if a character is canonically sex and romanced repulsed#they will ship them and use romance and sex positive as an excuse anyway#rambles#a-spec discourse
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i feel like everybody hates me, but especially those who i look up to...i feel like a little kid again...looking up to those who only look down upon me, instead of picking me up and embracing me.
#i just feel like nobody fucking likes me...like everybody secretly hates me and are actively trying to make me feel bad about myself#like i know that probably isnt true...but its the only thing that make sense#like no matter what i do everybody seems to leave me alone in my own little bubble...#everybody has their little groups with their little friends...but i dont...im the one who is a small member of multiple groups...#and that gets me left in the fucking dust#i just want to belong somewhere...i change and adapt to hopefully become a part of some group but it never works#i just want someone to hold me and tell me itll be ok...and that people dont actually hate me...#ykw if you fucking hate me you can tell me anons are on...i just wanna know im not the crazy one here...#im just trying to fit it so much that ive lost myself...who am i and who is what ive become?#i try and be friendly...and hope that i get accepted somewhere but they never really care...#im like the last kitten left in the cardboard box...all the others were cuter and healthier and now nobody wants me#nobody wanted me from the start...and now im all alone#idfk#i would do anything for a hug rn#since january shit has been going downhill...died...moved...gone...and then i had some people who cared and then it all fell apart again...#i just want to belong somewhere ffs...i want to be able to have friends...not just people who tolerate me...#i would rather have one friend that 10 people who tolerate me#idfk...im going to go eat ice cream until i cant feel any emotions anymore...#if i wasnt a pussy i would be stealing my parents alcohol...they already dont like when i eat...#or maybe i shouldnt eat...then maybe someone would love me...idfk...i just want to feel loved and secure and like i fucking belong
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Apparently I timed my quitting perfectly
#work tag#the new manager is absolutely awful and since hes taken over nothings been done properly#the managers that are left are sick of everything they barely do anything on shift the slackers are worse than ever#the newbies dont take anything seriously or have any common sense whatsoever so its just completely downhill#we had an EHO visit last week on the boss' close had lost a star on our rating as a result so the area manager came in a couple days later#he bollocked our boss for the way hes been acting but then he went right back to being a prick#so apparently after i left last night the district manager visited and they had to shut the store early for cleaning#but this was after my manager told me that the boss has been blaming everyone for the state of things but#when they offered to close the store and do a deep clean he refused because of money#the district manager was not happy he pulled both managers aside and now theyre gonna have to close the store for a deep clean#but they might also have to shut down temporarily to get everything sorted but the thing is since this new guy took over only about#half of the closing cleaning tasks have been being done because close is usually made up of the slackers and they just dont wanna do#anything properly its been an ongoing issue for months now and now its catching up with them cus theyve got in the habit of not doing it#one of my managers has kept saying he doesnt think the store will last until Christmas but everyone else is sure were gonna be shut#well before that point like its gotten the bad its part of why i quit#anyway i just got the rundown from my coworker who was on close when this all went down last night
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Iron Man (1968) #57
#so now Pepper (and presumably Happy with her) is back as a regular in the book!#though it looks like Tony’s not actually going to handle it well…#the last time Pepper was in the book was when she was briefly meeting Tony’s then-fiancé Marianne#and I don’t think it’s been like many months since he ended that engagement or anything#I don’t expect Pepper to bring that up with Tony#but I do wonder how that comes across to Pepper and Happy from the outside as they haven’t been directly involved in Tony’s life for awhile#I know Tony likes to project that everything’s fine but ending an engagement to get married inherently looks messy#so possibly it seems like he’s kind of gone downhill a bit since they stopped working for him#though from my perspective I don’t think he really has#he just kept all his convoluted feelings about the women he’s involved with to himself where only the readers can see it#marvel#tony stark#pepper potts#my posts#comic panels
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paramount+ has given up on me suddenly so I've only been able to watch a tiny bit of scream 6 so far.
#🐇#it's better than five at this point it could still go downhill though#I enjoyed the opening scene with samara weaving but I feel like it dragged on for too long#and I actually really enjoyed jason as a potential ghostface BUT that scene also dragged on a little too long#jason is sort of what I've been wanting from this franchise just some guy who is obsessed with the movies and becomes a ghostface killer#he forgets that sidney is real and that these are real stories and not just a slasher series#him listening to the last podcast on the left and ice nine kills also tells me he's the worst guy I've never met so I loved those details#lmfao like that was a very specific and pointed character design detail I wouldn't have expected#I also appreciate that sam has become a villain publicly just because she's a girl lmfao very relatable#I've only just gotten to the frat party so I haven't seen much but I appreciate them showing the different ways the group is dealing with#trauma I'm kinda surprised that they're bothering covering it. before sidney was really the only one allowed to have trauma#it's better but still not great. the dialogue has improved but it's still cheesy in a way I don't think was intended#like the therapy session with sam was kinda cringe when I think it could've felt way more important#also I've only known quinn for .5 seconds but as a baby faced skankola I appreciate the representation it's very nice to see#yeah. that's it so far. the app still isn't working god bless who knows if I'll ever finish
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