#but I think it would make me want to rip my hair out
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What do I have to do to get some filthy Nico thoughts this morning? Xoxo
not much, honestly
was thinking about how absolutely rabid he’d be after that canes game, all high on winning. but unfortunately for him, you’d be out of service for a few more days, mother nature having paid you a visit a couple of days ago. of course you’d help him out, giving him a nice, long, treat on your knees to reward him for the victory, but he wouldn’t be satisfied until he could have all of you.
he’d be such a little menace about it too. snaking his arms around you while you’re in front of the mirror, doing your hair, letting them rest dangerously low on your waist. little smacks to your ass anytime you pass by him. waking you up in the morning by rutting his morning semi against your ass.
and when the two of you are out in public? god, he’s almost worse than when you’re at home. drinks with the guys turned into you being trapped in the booth, nico’s hand resting high on your thigh, fingers brushing you over your underwear. you knew wearing this dress was risky, especially with how he’s been the last couple days, but you figured since you would be out with the guys he’d be on his best behavior. but of course you were wrong. his long pinky makes long, drawn out circles on your barely covered clit, working you up continuously just to casually slide his hand away. only to do it all over again every ten minutes.
then, when you came to visit him at the rink for lunch, he was dragging you into a random corner, kissing you like he was trying to take all of the oxygen from your body. his heavy frame pinning you against the smooth wall of whatever deserted hallway you were in. he knew you were close to being his again, having his own tracker app on his phone for your cycle. which also means he knew you were in the stage where you were becoming increasingly more desperate and horny as the hours ticked by.
“nico…not here. please. you know we can’t. just another day or so,” you’d pant out, so close to just letting him have his way with you anyways. his response would be a hand coming up to cup over your sex, digging the palm of his hand into your clothed clit. “just think of everything you could’ve had already. all the fun you’ve missed out on, caused me to miss out on” he whispers gruffly in your ear, biting the sensitive skin there. “don’t you think i finally deserve my reward for having such a good game the other night?”
you let out a harsh gasp, the sight of your open mouth and perfect tongue poking out combined with your wild eyes nearly enough to make him start ripping clothes off right here, not a care in the world if anyone would see the two of you or not. he brings a hand up to pinch your bottom lip between his fingers, pulling the skin out. he has the urge to do something he never has before, which is letting a dribble of spit drop directly from his mouth into the small pocket created by your outstretched bottom lip.
he watches your pupils dilate in surprise, releasing your skin so it snaps back into place. he looks down at your throat, watching you swallow the saliva he just transferred to you. he smirks, knowing by the look on your face, and clench of your thighs, he’s almost got you.
you hear footsteps approaching the two of you, straightening up and pushing nico away from you only slightly, not wanting to get caught in a compromising position in his workplace. an equipment manager rounds the corner, looking up when he notices the two of you and waves.
“hey cap! got that new stick in you were wanting! on my way to go pick it up now, actually. meet me out on the ice?” he waves in greeting, cheery attitude showing he’s excited about the delivery.
“sure thing! see you out there in a few!” nico responds just as enthusiastically, a stark contrast from his demeanor mere seconds ago. you both watch the man retreat down the hallway, having given you a small wave of goodbye, which you returned.
“okay well…i’ll…uh…see you at home, yeah?” you clear your throat, hardly able to concentrate on the words you’re speaking.
“mhmm. see you in a bit,” he places a kiss to your forehead, backing away from your still stunned figure. “oh! and stop by the kitchen on your way out. grab a water, you seem a little…thirsty,” he smirks at you as he walks backwards, teasing you for just how quick you were to accept and swallow his spittle moments ago.
that night when he returned home, he couldn’t find you anywhere. you weren’t in the living room on the couch, in the small kitchen, in the bedroom. when he called out your name you emerged from the shared walk in closet, clad in his favorite lingerie set of yours.
“good news, neeks,” is all you managed to get out before he was stomping towards you, backing you against the floor-to-ceiling shelving of the closet. a few shoes dropped off the shelf at the force of his actions, but that was the least of your worries right now. you could fix them in the morning, considering the two of you never managed to leave the space the whole night, waking up on the carpeted floor to his soft snores, one of his suit jackets draped over your naked body as a makeshift blanket.
#i truly don’t know how we got here#but…we’re here#hope you enjoy nonnie#alliyaps#hockey#nhl#new jersey devils#nico hischier#nico hischier smut#nico hischer x reader#nico hischier x you#nico hischier blurb#nico hischier fanfic#nico hischier x reader#nico hischier imagine#nico hischier one shot#nico hischier x y/n#nico hischier headcanons#nico hischier fluff#nh13#nhl blurb#nhl oneshot#nhl imagine#nhl fanfic#nhl fic#nhl fanfiction#nhl x reader#hockey blurb#hockey smut#hockey imagine
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Hard and Soft
Billie fucks you hard and rough with her strap-on making you cum hard before turning back into your sweet girlfriend and giving you soft gentle sex filled with so much love. The night ends with a passionate shared orgasm.
“take it slut, take my dick like a good fucking girl…..mmmmm you like that huh? you like when I fuck you like the slut you are” Billies words were competing to be heard over the sounds of skin slapping and your loud grunts spilling out of your mouth each time she bottomed out inside you. Your brain was mush, only functioning for Billie, only able to think about how hard she was slamming into, how good she was making you feel. When you didn’t respond, unable to find words, she wrapped your hair around her hand a second time, pulling your head up and your back arched harder into the cold granite of the bathroom vanity. “answer me when I ask you a question! am I just fucking you dumb? Are you just too dumb for my cock mama?” she bent her knees angling her faux cock up inside you as she continued to slam it into you. Her movement caused the new angle to hit your g-spot perfectly, over and over and over again. You swore you were seeing stars, crying out any noises you could find to express how good she was making you feel.
“mmmm- …. y-yes Bil- ughhhhhh- yes Billie- I love it, I-, fuckkkk, I’m a slut for your - ughhhhh- your dick, baby” It felt impossible to get your sentence out, but Billie’s hand wasn’t going to stop slapping your ass until you did. your hands were spread out next to you, clawing at the counters trying to find anything to ground you as you began to feel your stomach tightening. Using the hand that wasn’t wrapped around your ponytail, she pulled your arm, ripping it from the marble. She pushed it down to your side harshly, moving you as if you were just a doll for her to use as she continued her forceful thrusts into you. “touch your clit for me y/n, don’t stop until you're cumming all over me, you got it?” you just nodded and moaned louder, hoping she would accept it as a response, as you found the strength to get your fingers to your clit. The contact made you tingle, feeling just how wet you were for her. “Oh god billie, mmmm god you’re fucking me so good” she gripped your ass harder as your words struggle to get out, loving what you were saying to her. “yea baby? that feel good? god you’re such a slut for my cock huh?” you answered her question as high pitched “yes’s” filled the room around you. Once you started saying it you couldn’t stop. Billie was pulling almost all the way out of you before pumping the strap back into you hard and fast. Each time she filled you up, the tip of her dick hit perfectly against your g-spot making your knees buckle and your legs shake. “who’s pussy is this, hmm, who’s perfect little pussy is this baby?” She slapped down on your ass twice as she asked you, her other hand still pulling your hair adding a level of pain you couldn’t get enough of.
“it’s yours Billie, this pussy is all for you” you loved telling her this, loved when she wanted to take ownership of you as she absolutely destroyed you. “mmmm that’s right baby, and this is your cock, your cock you take so nicely” she dug her nails into your hips as she began pulling you back to meet her powerful movements, only adding intensity to the pleasure. Billie knew just how crazy it made you when she fucked you hard like this. She could feel your juices hitting the tops of her thighs, spilling from your cunt with every thrust. “oh god billie i need to cum, please let me cum baby please” she shook her head as she released your hair just enough to let you look in the mirror. Her own pussy throbbed as she locked eyes with you, the sight of your fucked our state made her feral. “not yet, don’t fucking cum until I tell you to, got it?” you whined at her answer, not sure how long you’d be able to hold it. your whole body felt fuzzy, like you’d been plugged into an outlet and the energy was coursing through your blood. your mouth was hanging open, noise coming from you every time her thighs clapped against your ass. “Who's in charge of you, hmm? Who's in charge of this slutty pussy of yours?” Billie needed to remind you again, needed to make it clear she got to decide when you would cum, not you. you slowed your circles on your clit, trying your best to slow the fast approaching orgasm you felt in your stomach. It didn’t help, your clit was swollen and sensitive from the pleasure your girlfriend was giving you. The mirror in front of you made it that much harder, the fierceness of billie’s ice blue eyes locked on yours as she fucked you stupid was making your body heat up more. The smirk on her lips showing just how much she loved this made your need to cum almost impossible to control.
“Oh god Billie I can’t take it, I need to, ughhh, I need to cum, f- fuck your dick feels so good inside me, please let me cum” you knew Billie loved to hear you beg, she loved to feel the power she had over you as she drilled her faux cock into you hard. your walls were closing tightly around the plastic dick as it continued pumping in and out of you. Billie knew you were about to burst, she could feel how much harder it was to push into your tight cunt. She leaned her naked chest against you, her big boobs spilling across your back, and put her face right next to yours. Her lips brushed your ear as she whispered, “go ahead baby, cum for me. Cum all over this big cock like the slut you are” She kissed your shoulder as she finished her sentence before pulling her head back to yours and watching your face contort in pleasure as you finally released. “Oh god Billie fuck i’m cumming baby. fuckkkkk” your pitch was high as she continued to fuck into you, slowing down but keeping the intensity as her hips rolled against your ass. your body was full of energy, feeling a static buzz vibrating through you as your high pitched whimpers continued pouring out of you. “good girl, that’s it baby, cum for me just like that” her tone had changed, it was softer now, the hardness of her words gone now.
Billie was peppering your shoulder with kisses as she continued to slow her thrusts, now only pushing her hips into you gently. you were gasping for air, working hard to get yourself back into reality after such an intense orgasm. “Mmm you did so good for me babygirl, took my cock so well” her motions had now stopped but she was still inside you, boobs still pressed hard against your back. The way she could feel your shaking body, deep breaths and the cock moving against her clit each time your pussy throbbed, continued to keep her hungry for you. you finally caught your breath and looked up at her in the mirror, cheeks flushed, mouth pressed into a big smile. “god you make me feel so good Billie” you whined out, overwhelmed at the continued throbbing of your walls against the strap. She sat up and spread your ass cheeks, watching as she pulled out of you so incredibly slowly. You looked at her through the mirror as she did, you could see her eyes glowing with lust and hunger from the sight in front of her. your pussy spilled out with cum and she bent down to lick it off you as she hummed at your taste.
When she stood up again she spun you around, your back now pushed up against the edge of the counter. She kissed you hard with her body pressed up against yours. The tip of the cock rubbed against your clit as your bodies slammed together and it made your legs buckle slightly. Billie caught on and began very small thrusts against you, stimulating your clit with each minor movement. you whined into her mouth as your lips danced against one anothers, she was winding you up for another round just like she intended. “You think you can give me one more round pretty girl?” she asked as she pulled away, looking deeply into your eyes as she brushed your hair out of your face and planted a sweet kiss on the tip of your nose. Her entire persona has changed as she turned back into your loving gentle girlfriend. you could see in her eyes that she no longer wanted to fuck you hard; Now she wanted to make sweet soft love to you.
You nodded lightly with a soft smile on your cheeks as she led you both out of the bathroom and on to your bed. Your legs were shaky as she guided you, feeling unstable from the way she just fucked you, the way she just made you cum so hard. When your back hit the soft, warm cotton sheets the plushness felt so nice after 15 minutes of being pressed against the hard, cold marble countertop.
Billie slowly climbed on top of you, placing gentle kisses all up your body as she went. When she made it to your face, holding her body up with her hands placed on either side of your head, she placed her lips softly against your cheeks, then your own lips. One of her hands traveled down to grabbing her plastic dick and rubbed the tip against your clit lightly as she told you how beautiful you were. When she finally pushed into you, you both let out a deep groan together. Her movements in and out of you were slow and so intentional, the opposite of how she was just fucking you in the bathroom. Each time she bottomed out and you felt the base of the strap on against your skin, she grinded her hips up into you, allowing her own clit to get stimulated and moaning at the feeling. You held eye contact passionately, as if your eyes were communicating with each other, your souls blending together becoming one. your little cries harmonized with hers over and over, singing with the beat of her slow thrusts.
“Does that feel good baby?” Billie asked sweetly, her voice was filled with love. “yes mama, yes it feels so good” you whispered back to her before pulling her in for a kiss. It was a slow kiss, a kiss that pulled your lips together so perfectly, one that can only be given when you love someone as much as you and Billie love each other. Her hips were rubbing against your sensitive clit so perfectly as her dick stimulated your g-spot with a slow passion. It was all so perfect, everything felt so good when it was laced with love. “Billie I’m gonna cum, this feels so good” She nodded her head as you spoke, agreeing with the pleasure you expressed.
Her nods stopped as she was brought to the edge of her own high as the base of her strap hit her clit perfectly over and over again. “mmm yes baby, yesss sweet girl cum with me, please cum with me” she whispered in your ear as she laid her body flush against you, hips still grinding into your, dick still deep inside you. Her voice had a whininess to it that sounded so sweet, like she so badly wanted you to be feeling as good as she was. your legs wrapped around her as she held you tightly, exhaling loudly as you both fell over the edge. your cries and whimpers merged with hers as you both came with each other, holding one another as tightly as you could, wanting to be as close as you could possibly be. You felt like you were floating together, like your souls were mixing as you orgasmed together. Her head was next to your and your ears were being flooded by the sweet sounds of her moans as she continued to slowly, deeply thrust into you. Your body was once again tingling from head to toe, this second orgasm even stronger than the first. “I love you baby, fuck I love you so much y/n” she moaned out in an exhale, eager to get the words out before she had fully recovered from her high. You planted your lips on hers as she lifted her head. “God I love you so much beautiful girl” you spoke softly as you pulled away, head returning to the pillow as you ran out of strength to hold it up.
Billie stayed inside you for a while as you both just held each other. You hummed quietly as your nails danced gently against the soft skin of her back. Your eyes closed as you slowed your breathing, truly drunk from the euphoria Billie just gave you. She takes such good care of you, always making sure to balance the hard rough fucking with soft, sweet sex. She loved you so much and never failed to show that to you. “I’m so in love with you” you breathed out, you could hear your smile in your voice.
#billie eilish#billie eilish fanfiction#billie eilish smut#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish x y/n#billie eilish x you#billie x reader
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[7:19 pm]
(based on this TikTok)
"And I can't just sit around and keep waiting," You sigh, threading your fingers through your hair in frustration. "You told me you weren't ready for a relationship and for months I've been waiting and I've been patient. But Jeno, I'm starting to think I'm waiting for nothing and wasting my time. Am I right?"
Jeno doesn't say anything. He doesn't even have it in him to look you in the eye right now. His eyes remain focused on a single pulled thread on his sleeve. He can't find the words you want to hear or even the words to begin to explain how deeply he feels for you.
"I guess that's enough of an answer. Bye, Jeno." He hears your voice before the front door opens. The loud sound of the heavy rainfall meets his ears for just a second before he jumps up and follows you out. You're already soaked to the bone in the few moments you've been outside.
"Get back inside!" Jeno yells out.
You turn to look at him and it's then that Jeno notices your red eyes. Even with the rain he can tell you're crying and it makes him feel awful.
Jeno sighs to himself and hypes himself up before chasing after you. The cold water immediately makes him tense, makes him yearn for the warmth of his home, his comfortable couch with a movie on and you by his side.
He grabs your hand and pulls you closer. He loves the way your hand fits in his, loves the warmth and the softness that's always there. "I love you, alright?" Jeno yells over the pounding rain, "I love you and I'm the world's most stupid man to have kept someone like you waiting for me. I was nervous and I was scared that making us official would change everything for the worse. I couldn't stand the thought of losing you."
Your eyes widen at his confession, heart pounding in your ears even harder than the drops of water pounding against the floor. His hair is drenched and his oversized sweater hangs heavily on his lithe frame as the water weighs it down. You look into his eyes and see the fear, the apprehension, and the anxiety.
Jeno has always been the type to show you he cared for you as more than a friend with his actions. He'd get you small gifts, act affectionately, press kisses to your temples or hold your hand. He did all of this and refused to commit to you in an official relationship, not wanting to make things official for some fear he hadn't voiced until now.
"Why now?" You ask quietly.
"Because I lost you for less than a minute and it felt like someone ripped my heart right out of my chest. Because you make every day I'm with you a million times better. Because you mean more to me than anyone I've ever met or will meet. Because I can't organize all the words of every language in the world to express to you how deeply I feel for you. Because you mean everything to me and I am nothing without you," Jeno confesses more quietly, pressing his forehead against your own as his hands come up to cup your cheeks.
The sound of the rain seems to quiet around the two of you, it's just your breaths that fill this tiny space between you. The cold has faded as your blood pumps throughput your body with excitement and adrenaline.
His eyes look different now. The look in his eyes tells you he's being genuine, he's looking at you like you were made for him.
You can't find it in you to respond, there's no way you can top his confession. Instead, you press your lips against his. It's a perfect fit. His lips are cold and chapped but there's a a hunger in the way his lips move. It's searing and passionate as he tastes your mouth, expresses his love through his touch. Your arms wrap around his neck as you kiss him back with as much passion and love as he does.
You both pull away, chests heaving as you try to catch your breath. Jeno smiles at you, his cheeks rosy, "let's get inside. I'll give you some clothes and we can watch a movie."
You both get back inside, shivering for many minutes even after you're both bundled up under a blanket and cuddling, but there's no place else you'd rather be.
#kpop imagines#kpop au#kpop scenarios#kpop reactions#nct#nct imagines#nct fluff#nct timestamps#nct x reader#nct dream#nct dream imagines#nct dream fluff#jeno timestamps#jeno x reader#jeno imagines#jeno blurb#jeno angst
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Hello. Your stories are beautiful. Can I ask you write something with Optimus Prime IDW? Thank you very much in advance. ^^
Sure
Gravity Pt 7
IDW Optimus x Reader
• You’re dancing again and he watches from the corner of his optic as he works, one foot sliding sideways before you shift your weight and spin. Servos stilling on his keyboard, he rumbles softly. Likes to watch you move, the way you can twist and bend like you’re boneless. And you catch him watching, flashing your little teeth at him with a laugh. “When I was a kid, my mom was obsessed with living out her dumb ballerina dreams through me,” you say, arms above your head. “Bet she’s rolling in her grave that I ended up an exotic dancer.”
• “Exotic?” He asks and he’s so innocent, it’s sweet. Running through the moves helps you relax, gives your worry and tension an outlet. You wonder what the big guy would think of you if you actually explain it to him, your slide from rebellious teenager to desperate adult. Because working in that dump was only the latest in a string of bad decisions. Every attempt you make to claw your way out of the gutter only driving home that maybe that’s where you belong. You’d resigned yourself to it, gotten tougher and blunter out of necessity, but somehow you can’t make yourself tell him that. He’s just this pinnacle of good and right. And he might not touch you so kindly or at all if he knew how awful you really are. “You were alone?” He asks when you don’t respond. Worrying over you like he always does.
• Blowing out a breath, you rake your fingers through your hair to send it into disarray and stare up at him. Little teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you wave a hand at him. “Don’t worry about it, big guy,” you tell him, but your smile doesn’t reach your eyes. “I can take care of myself.” You can, but still. You’re his to care for and protect, but he won’t pry or push. Hopes you’ll open up to him eventually. Entrust your burdens to him.
• Reaching out slowly as if giving you the option to avoid his touch, he hovers a servo just in front of you and you lean into it, wrapping your arms around that big digit. “I know you can, but I’ll still here if you need me,” he says and the that deep, rumbling voice rolls through you. Makes you realize that you’ve stopped plotting escape or even looking for an opportunity. That you don’t want to go back to your old life. There’s no one left to care for you or even notice that you’ve disappeared except your creditors anyway. Sure, Optimus is only invested in you to keep his own people safe and out of a weird sense of honor, but you want to pretend he really cares. That you belong here and that this time home won’t be ripped out of your fingers.
• “Sure,” you say, little arms hugging his servo and the feel of your heart beating against him. So small, but you try so hard to be independent. Not asking him for anything, even though he’d try to find you whatever you need to be happy. Smiling all the time like you are now, even though it’s brittle. Pretending nothing touches you, when he can tell it does. And all he can do is wait for you to trust him. To really talk to him, because until then he’ll hoard those details of your past that you accidentally let slip.
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H-hey mootie
So it’s my birthday this week
So if you would make a blurb about drider!Miguel killing readers shitty husband then fucking her 🕷️
I would love it 🥺🥺🥺
Yes it’s Halloweeny that’s cause I didn’t have the energy to write it myself no matter the word count or format I know you can do it Justice!! Love ya!!
YES U CAN MY WONDERFUL MOOT. 🎉🎂 Dedicated to the amazing moot 🖤 HAPPY BIRTHDAY ILYYY 🕸️🕷️ @cullen-rutherford-wifey
Huge thanks to my moot adqui for the Spanish translation help, and to @politemenacephd for the inspiration and their flawless Drider!Miguel smut in Arachnophilia that helped me a ton with this fic. 🖤
can I be him
CW: MINORS DNI, X FEM!READER, MONSTERFUCKING, SMUT, P IN V, LOTS OF CUM, NIPPLE PLAY, LIGHT BONDAGE, SPIT, BREEDING, CREAMPIE, ANAL PLAY(idk if that's what it's called) EDGING, DRIDER!MIGUEL, ANGST, MUTUAL PINING, SLIGHTLY STALKER ISH BEHAVIOR, GRAPHIC BLOOD AND VIOLENCE, DOMESTIC DISPUTE, YOU HAVE A SHITTY HUSBAND, MURDER, INFIDELITY, A DARKER PIECE PLS PLSSSSS MIND THE WARNINGS.
Words 6.1k
Miguel shouldn't be doing this. But he can't help it. It was wrong to watch you like this. To want you like this.
The warm glow cast by the screen floating in front of him softened his chiseled features as he gazed longingly at you through the portal of dimensions that kept you apart.
A gorgeous, living variant of his own version of you that he could not save. The only one out of thousands he had come across. And believe that when he first lost you, his unfathomable grief kept him searching, scouring, waiting, hoping for months that there was one more universe out there where death didn't rip you away.
And the first he discovered just had to be one where you belonged to someone else.
Dated for almost five years now. Married for going on three. And the kicker was that bastard didn't even deserve you.
The multiverse was cruel. In every other reality, tragedy irrevocably tainted the legacy of Miguel O'Hara.
Always so close, and yet, never finding peace in any set of cards he was coldly dealt.
In this particular dimension he was watching you from, he was a mutant with his top half being that of a man and the lower half, that of a spider. A large abdomen adorned in fuzzy black hair with eight enormous thick legs like a tarantula and venomous fangs, irises of bleeding crimson to match. He was a drider. A monster, as far as he was concerned.
But there were times when he'd watch you that he'd allow himself to be crazy enough to dream that you could love someone like him.
At least in his mind he wasn't chained back by his fears and insecurities. At least for now in the sanctity of his office, your shitty husband didn't exist and you weren't lightyears away in an opposite plane of reality. You could be free to be all his, monstrous features be damned.
A version of you loved him once, would it really be all that far fetched to think you could possibly learn to love him again?
---
Another long day ended. You exhaled a weary sigh as you left the cold of late fall that was descending quickly into winter in the icy world behind you. Closing the door to your house that seldom felt like home these days.
You supposed your life was okay, but still you wouldn't have chosen it had you known this feeling of monotony would haunt you everywhere you went.
From your job, to sometimes family, but most of all your marriage. Nearly all your life, you felt out of place, but never quite like this. You supposed it started as early as nine months into your relationship with your now husband.
When he stopped buying flowers, when his texts became fewer, hours at work became longer, his patience shorter. You chalked it up to the unpredictable ebbs and flows of love.
"Love isn't perfect. Not all rainbows and butterflies," you were told time and time again.
When your husband wanted to, he could be great. When he was bad, he could be exceptionally worse. But how could you be so sure? With practically nothing to compare it to, you supposed this was simply the path that was carved out for you. Mediocrity may be disappointing but passion alone couldn't keep a roof over your head. Stability was still a wiser thing to choose than comfortability.
Even so, on the eve of your birthday, the empty spot next to you in bed that you slowly became accustomed to delivered that sharp reminder of just how lonely you really were.
Tears fell and seeking solace, you shamelessly indulged and allowed your mind to visualize him. That mystery man from afar who haunted your dreams and took up permanent residence in your mind with his bewitching crimson eyes. Sometime around when you suspected the love your husband once had for you had all but ceased.
You don't know why, but this being seemed to call for you, seemed to speak to you. To that forgotten part inside that for the life you couldn't explain why it remained empty.
It was almost like a cosmic bond to him, an adept yearning. An invisible lining etched into your very being that somehow recalled him in a different life. That gorgeous face without a name.
Miguel.
----
Miguel stirs awake, realizing he was a victim of sleep while watching you. His attention is called immediately to a growing spat between you and your husband.
"I asked a simple fucking question, John. Where. were. you."
"And I GAVE YOU A SIMPLE FUCKING ANSWER. Don't. fucking. worry. about. it."
Miguel sits up, high on alert, spider senses kicking in. Something about John's tone this time was highly unsettling.
"You know what, I've lost count by now, John..." You flung your hands in the air, weary, defeated and broken down by the endless disappointment, tear soaked trails running from your eyes that hadn't stopped since last night. "But of all the days out of the year...you just couldn't keep it in your pants on my fucking birthday..."
"Do you fucking hear yourself??" John screamed. "Nobody said anything about cheating! Where in this entire conversation has there ever even a hint about cheating? I'll fucking tell you: NONE." He points an accusatory finger. "You brought this all on yourself, not me!"
"It was Carla again, wasn't it." You nodded with a tearful sob, pacing around the living room. "Carla, fucking, Carla..."
Maybe fixing these pillows could distract you from the agonizing realization that you were reliving the nightmare of John's infidelity. Going on three for three when you thought the first and second time he had learned enough.
"I didn't sleep with goddamn Carla!!" John grabs a mug and hurls it at the wall.
That's it. Miguel draws a portal immediately. His yearning had reached a breaking point, and this fight was all the push he needed to come to shove. Miguel O'Hara normally obeyed the rules, but this version of him was unlike the others.
No rule was above being broken when it came to the lengths he would go for you.
"Real fucking mature, John. What are you gonna do huh? Gonna hit me, choke me?? Maybe then you'll actually be half the man you think you are!"
"Ohhh you fucking little..."
But before the worst can happen, an otherworldly threat makes itself known with a random buzzing orange window opening, allowing an enormous half man, half spider through.
You and your husband scream in horror, your conflict between you temporarily forgotten.
"Shit shit SHITTTT!!! WHAT THE FUCK!! John what's happening??"
"I don't fucking know..." John mumbles in disbelief, flinching as Miguel's long legs pound on the hardwood floor, echoing under his formidable size. His eyes appeared menacing, deeply laced with venomous dislike as he glowered at John, but seemed to soften, if not only for just a fleeting moment when they landed on you.
"If...if we both don’t get out of this. I need to tell you something" John mumbles almost incoherently as your fingers dug into his arm.
"W-what?" You turn to look at John, at this face that housed a soul inside it that you once knew but no longer recognized. Almost wordlessly appealing to whatever final shred of respect he had left inside for you as a last ditch effort to give you some semblance of the man you once loved.
"I ruined everything. Your sister and I fucked. Just know, I'm sorry..."
And before you could even have a moment to compute that final godforsaken dagger he had the nerve to drive into your heart, he shoved you in the way of the monster like a piece of meat so he could save his cowardly ass.
"JOHN!" the sound was wretched and broken. Devasted by betrayal. You shrieked in fear and brought your arms over your head, prepared to absorb whatever immense pain was about to wrack your whole body, praying frantically for a quick death.
But, you gasped in alarm when no such fate arrived and Miguel charged headfirst at your fleeing coward of a husband, pinning him to a wall as nearby photographs came down with crash of splintering glass.
His head hit the wall with a deafening crack, a dark pool of maroon beginning to leak from behind him and drip out of his nose.
He yelled but the sound was quickly muffled as Miguel's calloused hands wrapped around his throat, a couple trails of blood oozing down his fist.
"B-babe....aacghkk...please m'ergh sorry, I'm..." John tried to choke out, his teeth now coated in sheer red from where he bit his tongue, quiet trickles audible as the blood from his head seeped onto the floor underneath him.
Miguel was only moments away from crushing his windpipe, but he untensed his jaw when he heard you trying to catch your breath on the floor. He turned, taking note of how helpless and fearful you looked.
Though it would have given him immense pleasure to pull the plug, he had to think of you first.
"Do you mind?" He merely asks, his eyes cold as his fingers tightened just a bit.
"P-please..." John croaks. "Please...Babe..."
You're still reeling from anger that was slowly turning to anguish. As you looked at John, for the first time you felt nothing. It only took years and him nearly sacrificing you before himself for you to wake up and realize the sorry shell of a man he had turned into.
"Goodbye, John." You uttered like venom and turned away as you heard the sickening crackle and then wet sound of choking blood as Miguel snapped John's neck in half.
----
"You okay?"
"Fine."
Miguel could tell you were lying. After swiftly disposing of the body in a different dimension and washing up, he had came back to discover you hadn't moved an inch from your spot on the floor. Your numbness kept you anchored, gazing into the haunting abyss of the blood spatter that remained on the wall.
"Hey, easy now. " Miguel murmured as you finally began to stand up.
"I can handle my own, thanks."
"Of course, I mean..." He clears his throat, stomach uneasy when you became short with him. "Sorry."
You two sat opposite each other in the living room with you and on the couch and Miguel on the floor as that was the only space that could accommodate him.
Sometime during the seemingly infinite silence, you realized all of this bullshit your now dead ex managed to put you through in his final hours on earth made you profoundly indifferent to the fact a literal drider broke into your home.
"Who are you?" You ask at last. "And why didn't you kill me too?"
Miguel looks at you quickly, glad the empty silence was broken at last. "My name is Miguel." He looks down, shame in his expression. "And I, well.."
He doesn't think he should divulge all of his secrets yet. Surviving near death by drider and having your husband's cheating revealed shortly before his untimely death was more than enough burden to bear.
"I'm not from around here."
"I gathered that." Your eyes rake over his enormous form. You should be beside yourself. This man creature just killed your husband after all. But something about his voice was calming. Oddly soothing. Dare you say it was, rather attractive?
"So what are you, half spider?"
For the first time, an inkling of amusement shows on his face. "What, did my eight legs give it away?"
"Just a little." You hum, bringing your knees to your chest as you allowed yourself to relax.
"You know, you're...eerily calm about all of this."
"Heh...I know. Guess I kind of feel like I'm still asleep and I'm gonna wake up any minute."
"Wanna test that theory?" Miguel quirks a brow.
You pinch yourself while keeping your deadpan stare, holding it for a moment as if it would do anything. "Nope."
"Wow." Miguel says sarcastically to which you can't help but snicker. "So, do weird occurrences like this happen to you often? Still doesn't explain why you're not completely hysterical about all this."
"I watch the news." You shrug. "Crazy shit happens in New York all the time. What with Spider-Man being a thing and all. Just a step above normal, I'd say."
"Ah." It made sense. Miguel should've known your dimension had its own spider. A little bit of relief washed over him. At least this made things a bit less messy on his end. He falls silent again, stealing little glances of you now and then.
You were fucking ethereal in person. Being this close was something he only dreamed about. Now that it was happening in real time, he was wracking his mind desperately for ideas on how to drag it out as long as he could.
"So if I may: how'd you become half spider?" You ask the hard question at last.
Miguel raises his eyebrows, somewhat relieved you took the first leap. He proceeds to tell you about his lab accident, and how he became spliced with spider DNA.
He tells you about the multiverse, and how there are many versions of him out there with the same story, but his cursed him with the lower half of a mutant unlike most.
"So, if there's a whole multiverse out there, are there multiple versions of myself too?" You lean your chin on your hand like a curious pupil.
Miguel nods stiffly, trying to disguise the weight of the information he held. "Yeah. "
You go silent again, then you ask, "Did you know me in your own universe?"
Miguel's heart pangs subtly at the reminder. "Yeah, I did..." He looks away from you but you can't help but continue to stare at him.
He really was so pleasant to look at. That brown, wavy hair that curled just slightly at the ends you could only imagine would run like silk between your fingers, eyes a hue of red that couldn't be replicated anywhere except the deep center of the rarest rose, lulling voice that dripped from those full lips. This formidableness about him that crumbled into gentleness only when it came to you did absolutely nothing but pull you closer to him.
For the first time, those unconnected dots in that unanswered part of you in your dreams might be falling into place.
"Was I quite close to you?" Your heart steadily begins to pick up.
Miguel shook under his desire to just let the facade fall away and pull you into his arms. But he remained still as he looked back at you, silent plea from behind his words that was only articulated in those eyes that put bleeding sunsets to shame.
"You meant the world to me."
The pieces coming together prompted these strong emotions you weren't expecting, coming out in broken tears. "So that's why you found me..." You shook your head.
Miguel's heart tugs outside of his chest. He stands up, drawing closer, then his legs folded as he leaned in to where you sat on the couch. When you didn't pull away, he got the courage to cup your face in both his hands, gently wiping the wetness away.
"Why didn't you come get me sooner?" It clicks at that very moment. That tender gaze that graced you now could not belong to anyone other than your starcrossed beloved who visited every time you closed your eyes.
"I wanted to." Miguel must suppress his own tears at this point. Oh how he wanted to, how he ached to.
"Believe me, I really did, mi vida.."
His term of endearment for you just encourages you to liquify under his touch even more. "But why didn't you?? I was so miserable. I waited for you. I thought you weren't real. Thought you were never coming..."
"I know, I know." Miguel closed his eyes when your foreheads met at last. This feeling of touching you for the first time elated him, shedded him of his internal torment. He felt like he was soaring.
"You were married and I was..." He sighs deeply, pulling away just a little, "I was... well, me."
"What do you mean by that?" You furrow your brows, your heart panged by hurt, trying to understand why. Why he deprived himself of this thing you both clearly wanted when it was right there.
"Nobody as beautiful as you would ever love someone who looks like me.."
A pit falls to the bottom of your stomach and you immediately shake your head. "No...no, that couldn't be further from the truth, Miguel..."
You sit up, leaning in as you took his face in your hands again. His eyes went wide in disbelief. "W-what are you..."
A million chills erupt in Miguel's body that become embers of warmth as your lips touch for the first time. He holds his breath, then sighs. The little break in between the kiss and the low, gentle sound coming from him just encourages you to meet him again, and again.
Your fingers wind their way into his hair and his own hands couldn't do anything but pull you even closer as the kiss deepened under the weight of the burning passion. The longing was set free, a million questions answered that just kept confirming to Miguel over and over that this couldn't be more right. Canon be damned, rules be damned as your lips and your hands became a slow dance of sensual exploration.
"Miguel..."
"Please I-mnghhh..." He pleads then relents immediately as he lets his head roll gently back, allowing you to continue blazing tantalizing trails of kisses all over his neck. Because of the size difference between you both, he scoops you into his arms off the couch. He can't help but indulge the feeling of your body pressed against his, using his grip on your thighs to grind you ever so lightly against his abdomen.
The pressure delivered from the press of his body shoots directly to your core and you shamelessly take that as permission to roll your hips slightly as you straddled him, releasing that first moan into his mouth when your lips came back up from exploring the warmth of his neck.
That delicious little sound you make nearly wrecks him in the best way. Miguel moans equally louder as his kisses dial up in intensity. His teeth begin nipping intermittently as the kiss morphs into a passionate exchange of saliva and collision of lips on lips. The potent venom laced in his fangs pools with the building zeal and it seeps into your mouth, leaving sweet aftertaste whose foreignness only fuels your arousal.
An enormous thud echoes as Miguel falls backwards, but it does absolutely nothing to deter the flame lit under you. You both find a comfortable rhythm as his hands guide your hips as you ride his large spider abdomen while your makeout session riled with fervor. The coarse bristly hairs were a delicious addition to the addicting friction with each slow roll of your body. Miguel's lips fall open and his eyes falter. You relish this feeling of power over him, this enormous drider who all but became a weak weak man when he was underneath you.
You bite your lip as each heavenly movement inspires you to leave all shame at the door and start to put on a show. You card your fingers in your hair, moving it in your eyes in erotic display, groaning as you rolled your head every which way in careless abandon, letting your fingers dip in your mouth, squeezing your breasts.
"Fuckkk me..." Miguel breathes out. "Fuck me, you're so...God, you're so beautiful..." He hands continue to knead the swell of your ass, gritting his teeth as his grip locks down even harder and he feels you humping directly over his slit where his phallus was hardening underneath the ocean of fur to the point of ache.
His hands then move to play with your breasts, your eyes widened when the spot on your hips is quickly replaced with two of his smaller forelegs, one of them teasing the waistband of your pants as his human hands quickly unclasped your bra.
"Miguellll...." You mewl as one of his forelegs holds your hip steady while the other works little circles through your clothed clit, all while you felt his warm, wet tongue flatten and tease your left nipple. All you can do at this point is moan and let him wreck you completely, this pleasure that was smoldering you from all sides.
You gazed down, amazed and aroused to discover that the lower half attached to this beautiful man you were tangled in only fueled the desire, this taboo. Knowing fully well that he was capable of bloodshed, but for now he only wanted to fuck you. You grinded harder against him, answering his soft ministrations of your clit with eager gyrations of your hips.
"Me vas a terminar matando..."(You'll end up killing me) He weakly chuckled, "So, so perfect..."
Miguel is intoxicated by your breasts, circulating and squeezing them together, while his lips dribbled and slobbered as he sucked them both greedily into his mouth in messy alteration.
Soon both round globes were coated in a dripping sheen of his venom, working the thickening syrup in sloppy circles over both nipples that tingled and numbed you so deliciously along with the teasing circles of his thumbs that it made your back arch to the heavens.
He leaned back momentarily to admire his handiwork, lower jaw shiny with a mixture of venom and spit, a steamy yet filthy display of his subtle ownership he now felt over you.
His.
His rightful claim when he snapped your sorry ass excuse of a husband like a twig. Each little noise you made all for him only swelling his pride and confirming his suspicion that the loser couldn't make you cum like he could.
Speaking of cumming, you were damn near close. Miguel doesn't want to be greedy and would love to let his sweet little darling cream and squirt all over his stomach right now, but the thought was more appealing for this first time being on his tongue or, if you were up for it, his drider cock.
"I wanna cum, Miguel, please I wanna cum..." You whined, temporarily losing that sweet spot as he removed his forelegs from their massage on your clit.
"I know baby, I'm gonna make you cum..." He kissed you. "You'll cum for me. Many times, I'll make sure of it..." He panted, moving a finger underneath your chin. "How do you feel about taking my cock?"
The straightforward nature of his question answered itself in the further dampening spot in your panties. "Please...Y-yes pleaseee, Miguel. Want you to fuck me...want you to give me your cock..."
"Yeah?" He groaned, hands slinking all up and down your body, under your clothes, stroking your breasts. "I'll give it to you then, baby...fill you up so good..."
He paused then kissed you deeply once more. "You're gonna have to trust me... We'll have to try something different so this can work..."
You nodded. "I trust you, Miguel."
"Okay..." He whispered. "You're still okay with this?"
"Yes, I'm okay..." You breathed back. "I'm okay, baby. I want you so badly. I'm willing to try anything so you can be so deep inside of me..."
"Fuck, me too..." He groaned back against your lips. "Okay, hold on f'me..."
He set you back down on the couch and you were floored as you watched your beloved turn into an artist, spinning an elaborate web that stretched from floor to ceiling, almost like a swing that was anchored solidly on both sides to the wall.
"Mi vida..." He offers you his hand like a gentleman, helping you up. "Can I?" He whispers as his hands disappear underneath your clothes.
"Yes..."
He strips you carefully and slowly like fine china, letting the anticipation build as every patch of skin slowly became revealed to him.
Somehow letting him undress you, sliding the rest of your panties off and simply letting his eyes roam freely all over your body felt like the most intimate thing you had done all night, even more so as he still remained fully clothed in his top half as he stood back and drunk in the sight of you like wine.
"You're simply stunning, love..."
His hands ghosted low on your hips until they rested on the bare curve of your ass. You jumped and wrapped your thighs around him, Miguel tensed his jaw with a smirk as he kneaded the plump flesh of your ass, hardening again when he felt your bare slick he drew out of your pussy earlier against his stomach.
He nestled you into the makeshift swing that was soft and sticky as the fibers clung to your bare skin in a natural adhesive. He spun more webs around your ankles, opening them slightly.
"Is this still okay?" He asked gently again.
Exhilaration washed over you but you nodded, grinning and easing your legs open in further tease to demonstrate your own building excitement for what was to come. "Yes..."
"Good." His voice went halfway between a groan again at your pretty pussy blossoming like a flower in front of him.
He stood back, eyes cloudy and trained on you as he removed his shirt, letting it fall in a quiet heap to the ground.
You drank him in as well like an offering, moaning audibly when the slit in his fur low on his abdomen opened to reveal a long, thick, hard red cock with pulsating black veins adorning both sides. It curved upwards, and it throbbed, making your mouth water.
This only made the full sight of your monstrous lover even more alluring as he stood before you in all his drider glory, towering over you even now when you were closer to his eye level in your makeshift swing, with your thighs spread and your silky cunt begging to be filled.
He shot a web onto your belly, pulling you in closer while you still sat settled on the swing, giggling as he smirked playfully at you, until just the tip of his cock kissed between your folds.
"Hi there..." You chuckled, tilting your head up, wetting your lips seductively.
He groaned quietly in a stew of lust as he saw your tongue rake over your bottom lip,
"Hello, sweetheart...fucking gorgeous thing, you..."
He gently pinched both sides of your cheeks between his thumb and pointer finger, immediately bringing you into a deep french kiss.
The feeling of his warm tongue sliding in your mouth shot directly down to your cunt, only amping up in electricity as he teased his plump girthy head of his cock all around your pulsing clit.
"Miguel....fuck me..." Your spine arched and your nails dug into his shoulder, aggravating the raging arousal he was simmering for you all over his body. "Don't tease me like this, baby..."
Miguel released a mischievous chuckle that tapered into another one of his low moans that goaded you even deeper into all this pent up frustration you wish he'd take out on your now sopping pussy already.
"Ten paciencia, mi vida, por favor... " (Be patient, my life, please) He cooed sweetly at you, lightly brushing his nose against yours "Gotta get you nice and ready to take me..."
You breath became choked in your lungs when he begins to massage the fat tip directly over your velvety clit, grunting as he felt another drip of arousal leak and coat all along the thick head.
"Besides..." He murmured heavily though soft parted lips, entranced with hooded eyes. "The more I edge you, the more pleasureable it'll be when I finally make you cum all over my cock..."
"Baby, please..." The crescendo of arousal swelled in your belly, making your eyes water. You coaxed your body against him faster, desperate to reach that peak, but your movements were minimal due to the webbing. The feeling of emptiness covered you but was quickly eased when he promptly removed his tip from your clit again, this time dragging it down to your dripping entrance.
"Kiss me..." Miguel murmured and he didn't need to tell you twice. His tongue rolled and rubbed with yours as he began to circle his cock into your wet opening, inch by inch filling you ever so slowly. You gasp into his mouth, realizing this whole time what he was talking about. You felt every rigid vein, every solid groove as his drider cock slowly pushed into you, stretching you beyond comprehension. It was unlike any you've ever taken before. Fuck, it felt better than any you'd ever taken before.
Once you got past the daunting size, the addicting feeling and pleasure of having his cock inside you set off a new chorus of breathy moans from your lips. You sighed deliciously as you greedily accepted everything he was giving you, so transfixed on his divine face that was watching you the entire time.
Miguel was irrevocably smitten, completely enamored with the way your warm silky walls wrapped around him, the way you looked at him with immense rapture. Fuck, this feeling was greater than anything he felt in his entire life as your pussy molded to him like it was made for him. "So tight, cariño..." He teased then hissed as he reached the hilt.
You two gazed at each other, completely silent for what felt like divine eternity. Simply enjoying the feeling of Miguel being buried so deeply inside you.
"I'm gonna start fucking you..." He whispered.
"Go slow at first, baby..." You purred back, clenching your pussy around him, biting your lip when it earned another weak grunt from him. "Wanna feel you nice and deep like this for a bit..."
"Haah...you're a goddamn tease..." Miguel huffed. "I'll try and go slow as long as I can..." The sound that came from him next was downright pathetic as he looked down at where he had you stuffed to the brim, feeling along the emerging bulge in your belly.
"You feel so fucking good, it's hard not to just fucking ravish you right now..."
"Mmm...just kiss me, then..." You murmured and he quickly seized onto that opportunity as he slowly began to pump inside you with lengthy, meaningful thrusts. Every movement was so wet and sloppy with drenched noises as a sea of slick began to drool from your pussy, coating his cock that slid in and out of you with greater ease as the moments passed.
You squeezed your thighs in a death grip around his large waist as you became more hammered off this euphoria, the bristly hairs tickling the sensitive sides along your clit, goading you to grind back into each deep thrust.
"Shit..." And Miguel's patience flew out the door with that lethal squeeze of your thighs, his hands gripped the curve of your ass as he began to completely unload on your needy wet cunt. You cried out as you took every torturous inch like the absolute whore you were for him in this moment.
It tested your limits but God, this feeling of him thoroughly fucking you nice and hard scratched that nagging, primal itch you experienced ever since you first laid eyes on him. You were practically drooling at this point, laying back and taking it, your submission just fueling his fire, unlocking that deep seated urge to fucking breed this perfect cunt for all it was worth, to ruin you and fuck your brains out so you could feel him for weeks.
"Miguel, Miguel, Miguellllll....." The hungry, wispy mantra of his name from your lips nearly set him off the edge alone, a raw possession washing over him completely as he railed his cock into you to new limits.
"You're all mine now, you know that..."
"I'm all yours Miguel...all yours baby..."
He cut you off with another fiery kiss. "Wanna cum inside you, baby, can I?"
"Fffuck yes....yes, Miguel, fill me..."
"I'll fill you up, baby..." His forelegs come up again, but this time one directly rubbing quick, vibrating circles on your clit, while one gently teased and massaged the puckered rim of your ass, all while his heavy slick covered cock continued to pound your pussy. "But you're gonna cum f'me first..."
"Miguel..."
You nearly black out as you see heaven. Miguel locks in, dipping his head down as he swallowed onto your left breast again, tweaking and tugging the nipple of the right, his mouth salivating and more venom dousing and dripping from his tongue, soaking down your already sweaty body.
The web renders you helpless as you have no option but to lay there and let him pleasure you past anything you thought you could handle. It felt like overstimulation as you shook and cowered and whined so loudly it could wake the neighbors.
Your thighs trembled, tears leaking out of the corner of your eyes as you forced yourself to let go. The premature ending of all the previous other treatments he bestowed on your spent pussy piled on top of one another, making this one far more intense and overwhelming than the others. Thick cream oozed lewdly out of you, making a sticky, glossy mess of both your pubes and coating his black fur.
"Cumming, sweetheart..." He panted, dripping sweat all down his reddened face, some of it landing in your mouth but you could care less. Everything about this encounter was so dirty and nasty already. The salacious feeling of consuming every part of one another from head to toe reduced you to nothing but a hole for him to dump his cum in, and you'd let him every time.
"I-love-you...."
And his heavy sweaty shaft and bulbous tip nudged your g spot simultaneously as his foreleg's massage of your swollen clit that your orgasm shuddered and rattled your bones, a new sinful coat of wetness squirting and seeping into Miguel's black fur that he soaked in like a badge of honor.
He forgot to warn you before, but when the coil in his balls finally released and he came inside you, the thick, viscous drider cum was like lava as it spilled and drooled and leaked from your insides. Even after you thought he had emptied, another spurt of a thick rope of cum painted your drenched walls and flooded out of you.
You both merely panted, eyes locked on each other in a display of intimacy of the deepest and most carnal kind, the overwhelming haze of orgasmic bliss made you both speechless. It almost didn't compute that he told you he loved you.
You laid there in your spiderweb tangled underneath your drider lover in the now fully emerged daytime, world outside none the wiser of the steamy, lewd acts that took place. All the more enthralling that this became a love nest built on top of your blood lust and mutual yearning that exploded like gasoline on a fire.
For now, real life could wait as you came back down to Earth and gazed at the flood of slick cum dripping and oozing from both of you. You felt that primal urge kick up again as Miguel smirked, softly stuffing the mess of what he could back inside the pool of glistening white that peeked between your aching folds.
"And I love you too, Miguel.." You whispered back.
All the puzzle pieces of his scattered life fell back into place as he heard those glorious words hit him like a train. He willed this himself. Even if it meant taking you from another dimension, this thread across time, this inevitable bond was now cemented permanently with your lovemaking and the deepest parts of him that were now inside you.
He could deal with all that bullshit later; he had his love back with him where she rightfully belonged.
You both laughed to yourselves as you sauntered down this path of mutual bliss and made a plan to leave all this behind and start a new life with your Drider lover in his reality.
But first...you couldn't help but pull him closer and he couldn't help but groan loudly as he effortlessly slipped inside you again,
"It's you and me against the stars, mi vida..."
And he groaned before rhythmically moving his body in that sinful dance with yours,
"But first I'm gonna prove it by fucking you all over again."
---
#from my trees . ˚ 𖧷 ·𓇥 ° . ♡#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel x reader#spiderman 2099 x reader#miguel x you#miguel o'hara smut#miguel o'hara x fem!reader#cw monsterfucking#tw monsterfucking#cw blood#tw blood#cw murder#tw murder#cw infidelity#cw breeding#cw angst#tw angst#cw violence#tw violence#cw dark content#tw dark content
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Pairing: Silco x Gender Neutral Reader
Warnings: None
Notes: It's been awhile! So here is a one shot for Silco, I will also be rewriting my fics because they are old and cringe. May make a part two if people want it!
Requests: OPEN!
Death is never forgotten, only pushed back to the edges of our minds, being from the undercity, having seen so much death both at the hands of the enforcers and by our own people, but one death seemed to rip the fabric of our crudely stitched reality in the undercity into two.
I looked up from my glass, the deep amber liquid glittering in the dim light of the bar, a place of music and friendly banter between people, I could see Vander talking to someone from behind the bar, still hard at work, the kids had run off somewhere, like usual. Here’s to hoping they don’t get into trouble, they are young so they most likely will.
Looking back down at my empty glass, a sigh exiting my body, It’s been two years since the war on the bridge, losing so many lives… and friends, I couldn’t help but gulp down the rancid drink that burnt my throat. I never used to drink alcohol, but as it’s reaching the anniversary of that day I can't help but to. I was there that day, but further down the bridge, closer back home, where Silco and Vander wanted me, helping the injured as I wasn’t much of a fighter, if only I was, maybe I'd know the truth of what happened that day.
I looked up as my empty glass was replaced with a non alcoholic drink. Vander sat opposite of me, the chair under rhim squeaking, the chairs and table old, lighting up his pipe he glanced up to me before looking down. I knew he was trying to protect me by not telling me what happened, what happened to Silco. I will admit I liked the man, he was smart, the brains to Vanders brawn, His lean yet sturdy body attractive and god his hair, much more my type.
Sighing, I looked away from Vander and back to the bar. There is a sense of melancholy despite the loud conversation and drinking, the anniversary always makes some people sad, especially those who lost people on the bridges, the amount of sad faces drowned out by those who smiled.
“What’cha thinking bout?” I heard the deep timber of Vander’s voice, but I didn't look at him, seeing the kids return with smiles and handfuls of stolen fruit as they sneak their way back to the basement.
“You know what I’m thinking about” I heard him sigh at my words. I looked back at him, he wasn't looking at me, he’s rubbing his bracer, looking at it with the most sadness I’ve seen in his eyes, the bracer is new, he didn’t have that two years ago. “Why won’t you tell me what happened? I’m not a kid for you to protect Vander” He shook his head.
“I know that, but… It'd be easier if I didn’t…” He spoke, the usual confidence leaving, he stopped rubbing the bracer and took his pipe to his mouth and took a drag, his eyes off in the distance.
“Easier for who? You or me?” He blew out the dark coloured smoke, a tinge of pain in his face, not from smoking but my words. “What did he do to make you not want to tell me what happened?” I leaned in closer to the bigger man, I could see an emotion on his face, one I barely see, Regret. It takes me a moment before I speak again.
“What did you do?” The thought scares me, but his expression confirms my suspicion, he did something. I stood and sped walked to the exit, my chair scraping against the wooden floor, His voice chased after me, the others in the bar watched as I left. Slamming the door closed I just walked, my vision blurring with tears and mind racing with thoughts.
When my vision cleared again I was sitting on top a building overlooking the bridges and the opulent Piltover towers in the distance, my arms tightly hugging myself, I didn’t move, I glance to my right, an old blanket and pillows, a crate of stolen wine tipped over and spilled over the ground, an old rotting plate of stolen food and two chipped wine glasses. I chuckled softly, of course I came here, as teenagers we would climb the old crumbling roof to sit and watch the sunset as it had the best view of both the water sparkling and changing colour, but the way the towers glinted. All of us came up here when we were all off work, Silco, Vander, Felicia, Connol, Benzo and I. The entire group, though sometimes it would just be some of us… last time I was up here was two years ago… with Silco.
It wasn’t a date, but I definitely saw it as that, especially since Silco went out of his way to steal the expensive food and wine, the date was cut short when two enforcers who had been trailing Silco found us, explaining the tipped wine bottles as we ran, it didn’t go the way Silco wanted but we still laughed about it once we were safely in the last drop.
I smiled at the memories, before turning to watch the sun set, the sun glimmered against the water of the River, the way it changed colour would make anyone forget that it was polluted, my racing mind was interrupted by the sound of footsteps, the click of a short heeled boots against crumbling stone, I know it isn’t Vander as the steps are far too light to be his heavy body.
“Two years since we were both on this rooftop together” That voice, it was familiar, I turned to see the very familiar, yet different figure of Silco. I look over him to see that he’s skinnier than he was two years ago, he had cut his hair short, the most surprising is the piltovian suit he is wearing. I stood and took a few steps toward him. He's so different but not at the same time.
He has yet to turn towards me fully, I can see the glimpses of scarring on the side of his face that he isn’t turning my way.
“Silco?” he smiled softly, it didn’t quite reach his eyes like it did before. He finally turned to me fully and I can finally see why he didn’t turn until now, the other side of his face was scarred and discoloured. He looked at me like he was expecting a specific type of reaction, but that expression disappeared as I rushed forward to hold his face softly. I looked over him, almost not believing he was alive and here, I couldn't help but caress his cheeks with my thumbs.
The shocked expression changed, he obviously wasn't expecting me to be so soft as he let go of the tenseness that melted under my touch, he sighed, his eye closing he leaned in to touch his forehead to mine, moving his hands to hold my own, for a moment I just let us stay like this, but I needed to know. “What happened? Vander… he never told me” Silco opened his eye again, Locking eyes with my own.
“He didn't?” I shake my head, making him sigh again. He let go of me and turned away towards the bridge and the river. “He… tried to kill me, drown me in the river” Silco moved his hand up to touch his face, Vander tried to kill Silco?
I stared at him, so that's what Vander did, the reason why lost on me, why would Vander do that to who he saw as his own brother?
“So that's why he wouldn't tell me…” He wouldn't tell me that he tried to kill Silco that night, but why? What happened between the two? Why did Vander do it? I felt Silco's hands on my arms, I looked up back into his face, his eyes bore into mine with an expression I never saw two years ago.
“Join me, unlike Vander, I will follow through on the dream… the Nation of Zaun we wanted to build…” It's a lot to take in, that despite what Vander did, Silco is still planning to work on the dream he and Vander made all those years ago. Something deep inside me felt off about the idea of joining Silco, but the rest of me… I nodded.
“Yes… I'll join you”
#silco arcane#arcane netflix#arcane#silco x reader#arcane silco#oneshot#gender nuetral reader#silco#vander arcane
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Okay Arcane Season 2 Final reaction -Episode 7
I am freaking the FUCK out
In case anyone is wondering, Jinx is my favorite, I want happiness for her, don’t get me wrong I love all the others but if she’s not happy by the end of this you won’t ever see me again
Opening vinyl-I literally stopped breathing ID THAT EKKO AND JINX AGSJRBLDJ?!?!
My king Ekko, where have you been all this time. Please come home we miss you
EKKO?! And is that little drawing Jinx??
OH ALTERNATE UNIVERSE TIME BABEY so many fanfics are going to go off this I can tell
EKKO!! He looks so handsome and alive!!! (My hopes for these characters ARE VERY LOW AS YOU CAN TELL)
Jinx looks so cute!!!
BENZO!! Oh my fucking god is this going to be a Happy Universe that NONE OF THEM ARE GOING TO GET?! I’m going to throw myself off a cliff.
Oh my god no one ever address Ekko’s trauma with Benzo I’m so glad they’re doing it THAT WAS HIS DAD!!
This is cruel. This is just cruel how DARE they give us a happy au
No Netflix I will not skip the intro fuck off
AAAAW EKKO NOO SEEING EVERYTHING THAT COULD HAVE BEEN
God Jinx looks SO CUTE I need so much fanart of her
Ps I know this is technically Powder, I’m too lazy to constantly switch names so Jinx
Also does she have a pink streak in her hair? I don’t like the implications of that
Aaaaaw they’re partners :((((
MYLO AND CLAGGOR HOW FUCKING DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU OH FUCK OH GOD
Wait omg “Trouble in paradise” TIMEBOMB?!
I have gotten through THREE MINUTES OF THIS SHOW
Oh that cute Jinxer is here woo! Lmao Mylo is so real.
Aaaw Claggor he’s trying to help the city and he cares about his little sister AND HOW FUCKING DARE YOU ARCANE
AAAW JINX TRYING TO HELP MYLO FUCKING HELL ARCANE
“WHAT WOULD THEY DO WITHOUT YOU” JESUS CHRIST ARCANE
Okay this isn’t funny anymore where’s Vi
Okay but is it OUR professor?! (I can’t spell his name)
IT IS!!
Okay but WHY what’s happening with Jayce?!
VI VI VI VI VI
OH NO JAYCE WHY CANT HE BE HAPPY TOO?!
Ooooh his HAMMER is why he got sent to the apocalypse au huh
Is that evil Viktor. Is that the Machine Herald? IS IT TIME FOR GLORIOUS EVOLUTION?!
Wow I was just joking with the apocalypse au but it really was it huh?
Aw I like that Jinx kept her workshop
Is that a heart. Around a picture of them. IS TIMEBOMB ACTUALLY CANON IN THIS UNIVERSE?!
Wait, is this THEIR WORKSHOP?!
FUCK I KNEW VI WAS GOING TO BE DEAD GOD DAMN IT
Oh this isn’t happy at all :(
OH FUCK THIS ISNT HAPPY AT ALL
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SHOW ME THAT HOLY HELL?! OH MY GOD THERE WAS NO REASON FOR SHOWING ME THAT
Way to hammer it in Arcane for no fucking reason other than MAKING ME CRY YOU PIECE OF SHIT. LIKE I GOT IT. VI IS DEAD IN THAT UNIVERSE. DIDNT NEED TO SHOW ME HER SIBLINGS REACTING TO HER DEATH
GLORIOUS EVOLUTION HORROR
Oh god not doomed Timebomb IN THE FUCKING HAPPY AU
Poor Jayce just has to fucking go through it huh
Wow that is an understatement.
Okay but MelJayVik crumbs ILL TAKE IT
YEAH THE PERSEVERE JAYCE!!!!
NO STOP MAKING ME CRY WITH THE HAPPY AU
There’s not much I can say with Jayce other than holy fuck this poor man
God they could have been partners. They could have been the brightest minds in all of Zaun. They could have been HAPPY. I fucking hate this show why would you show me this. I’m never going to recover
HE BROKE TIME BABY!!! FOUR SECONDS BACKWARDS LETS GOOOO
God they are so in love. God this is going to kill me
Oh my god the fanartists and editors are going to MURDER me with the “Do you think we together in every universe” trend aren’t they?
SILCO?! ZAUNDADS CANON?!
Ekko hold on. EKKO HOLD ON.
Oh my god this reference to season 1 episode 4 how fucking dare you
HOW DARE YOU MAKE TIMEBOMB CANON LIKE THIS?! AURRRGGGHHHH
Ripping my hair out. Clawing my eyes out. Beating my chest until it caves in. This is everything I could ever want. HOW. DARE. YOU.
I love them. I love them so much. Why would you do this to me.
IM GOING TO BE FUCKING SICK
#uni talks about the universe#arcane#jinx arcane#ekko arcane#Benzo arcane#vi arcane#caitlyn arcane#ISHA IS ALIVE TRUST#I decided to write out the tags before I finish the rest of the episode#I might add more later#expect a tone shift#Jayce arcane#Viktor arcane#Vander arcane#time bomb????👀👀👀#yes I am a timebomb shipper#despite the doom of it all#arcane claggor#mylo arcane#I CANT BELIEVE I HAVE TO ADD THOSE TAGS#oh real quick#arcane season 2 spoilers#for blocking purposes#timebomb canon#but at what cost#timebomb#jinx x Ekko#I LITERALLY WANTED THIS SO BADLY#AND I HATE IT
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ACT 3!!
I can't believe it's over :((
This is probably more analysis than the other ones I've done lol, spoilers below :o
─ ─ ──┉─ ¡! • !¡ ─┉── ─ ─
AHHHHH so sad, I loved it sm
Timebomb!!! I don't ship it a lot, I prefer them platonically icl but it was sooo cute! (the au has won me over though lol but I personally still think in the main timeline they wouldn't be together, maybe Ekko has a crush on her but I hc Jinx as either aroace or just not in a place to be interested in romance)
AND WE GOT MORE EKKO!!! FINALLY!!!!
I think they should've given us a couple extra episodes because him and Heimerdinger, Mel and the whole Jayce Viktor story did not get enough screen time imo, could've done with a bit more interaction idk
Claggor glancing at Mylo, now I may be projecting but that was NOT subtle🤨🤨😏🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
HEIMERDINGER STAYED BEHIND!! NOOOOOO. he was such a silly guy I was very sad
Cait being like "who decides who gets a second chance" like it wasn't her busting Vi out of jail like 6 months prior
JINX SHE WAS SO BROKEN😭😭😭😭MY POOR LASS
lowkey wish we'd got to see her go absolutely batshit over Isha's death but I get the direction they went in (or just been able to see more of their reaction and recovery from her death in general)(because that shit was glossed over)
Vi being so upset and destroyed about Jinx saying she shouldn't have done this and then Cait going mf I literally engineered this whole encounter😭😭😭
CAITVI IS A GO!!! I REPEAT CAITVI IS A GO!!!! HHHHHHGHHHHHGGG THEY'RE SO FUCKING CUTE!! I really love how the scene played out
VI'S "Cait I don't FUCKING CARE" just marry her already (ngl not the way I thought that confession would go but I'm glad it was pretty happy)
HE REALLY WAS THE BOY SAVIOUR!!!!! COMING IN CLUTCH THERE AT THE END
MEL!!!! I love her character design smmmm it keeps getting better and better🤩🤩🤩she needed more time and practice with her powers though I think they rushed that a bit.
JAYCE. VIKTOR. YOU GAY MFSS LMAO (platonic or romantic they are so in love) I also think they rushed their whole story because both of them were suddenly like "oh yeah besties again✨✨" and I wanted a bit more story there but THEY STARTED IT TOGETHER AND THEY ENDED IT TOGETHER🥲🥲(they basically saved Piltover with the power of friendship)
JINX NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'm not okay💔 I know it's what she wanted, really, but it felt so flat idk I wish she'd lived and come to terms with every (also I love her and she needs to come back so that's probably why I didn't like it too lmaoo)(ik she fell like a hundred stories or whatever and canon divergence is a thing but my girl is a big part in LoL so maybeeeeee????)(I'm once again in denial....)
ALSOOO CAIT WAS LOOKING AT THE BLUEPRINTS FOR THE HEXGATE AND HAD JINX'S BOMB SO I WILL STAY UNDER MY LITTLE DENIAL ROCK THANKYOU VERY MUCH
Honourable mentions:
Heimerdinger being like "you sure it's 4 seconds???" and Ekko just like •_• "mmmhm yep definitely" poor guy was TRAUMATISED😭😭😭it was so funny to me
All the outfits in ep 7, I loved them! ALSO THE DANCE SCENE!! SO SWEET
LEST!! I wanted to see more of her she was so cool!
The blue haired woman who died:(( rip to a queen
And the guy who took over manning the hex gun🫡
Maddie, ngl I wasn't expecting her to betray Cait but it was unsurprising really, I would've loved to see what she'd make of the aftermath and better terms the city's are on but it was also a very dramatic moment for Mel and I liked the twist lol.
FIRELIGHTS(EKKO) FIGHTING TOGETHER WITH JINX!!!! AYYY
The sweet little Cait and Vi scene at the end🥹
Just the whole union of Piltover and Zuan in the fight against Ambessa and the Herald(I wanted more build up for that too tbh but anyway)
VIKTOR GOING THROUGH ALL THE TIMELINES TO FIX IT AND IT BEING JAYCE!!!
My mum who's been subjected to all of S2 and her main comment at the end was "I'm still a bit confused" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2#arcane jinx#arcane vi#caitvi#arcane caitlyn#mel medarda#arcane jayce#jayvik#viktor arcane#ekko arcane
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"No one but you just had this look, like I don't know, it affected you worse than it would have anyone else. It was the look." Could he have been talking nonsense, sure if he was anyone else but Wally caught things from her. He paid attention when he really looked at her. He gave a shrug afterwards not realizing that this wasn't the normal and it could get coughed up to just an agent doing what they did. They were paid to be detail oriented.
He really looked at her past the dress and the way she looked. All of that was nice but there was something in the way she radiated that captivated his attention. Her soft smile made his appear as he nodded and brought his glance down to his hands. "Sure," he whispered as his eyes now took deep interest in his wrist. He did wonder what it would have been like to tuck a stray hair over her ear. If this crush, no it had to have been more than that. It had been more than a few weeks and he still couldn't get her out of his damn mind. Now they were here where she was thinking he didn't believe in her capabilities.
He appreciated the fact she brought him the muffin. His eyes saw where she had put it and thanked her. Going back to what she had said he sighed and took a beat. "I'm not—" his face scrunched up slightly as he ripped the skin off the edge of his nails as he paused and breathed through his nose. "I'm not disputing that. I asked you to come because I knew what I was getting. My belief in you knowing how to do what you do was never in question. I am taking you seriously but I also worry about you. Do you know how that'd make me feel if you got killed because of me? Because you said yes to helping me out? You didn't need to accept but you did anywa. No one has ever been that selfless to help when they didn't need to. It isn't even dangerous because of these bozos out there, trust me I'd take them over my boss any fucking day. Please don't think I'm disputing the fact you can take care of yourself, I'm not. I know you can. This kid is a priority yes, but so is your well being."
His head went back to the mini trail off she did in the middle of her sentence. "Since you what?" Another sigh. "My boss, Karina." How would he even explain this whole bitch to her when he couldn't even describe her without wanting to put a fork through his eyes. "You said Nolan, right? I have a very deep rooted feeling he is a plant coming from her. That's why I think he went and touched you."
"I asked you to come because you're the best at what you do. You don't just look at things in one set ways. I need that. I didn't ask you to come because I wanted to prove I'm better or stronger than you. I don't do that bullshit. I need help and admitting that is hard enough to be honest but here it is. This kid seems like it'll be the first time we won't get her in time. This ring is three steps ahead and I can't help but think it's because they have inside help. As for the rookie by the way she vanished into thin air again. I don't think she's innocent." This was the first time he ever let his walls of having it handled down. To show that weight he actually carried around him. This was one of those moments he wanted to check himself out.
Shaking his head he didn't want her to leave. "You won't hear a peep out of me from now on. Please do what you know how to do. All I ask is that you be careful. I do actually care about your well being."
"Didn't appreciate?" The words were repeated back to herself unsure of what was happening. "Who appreciates a stranger touching them at all?" He wasn't wrong, the touch had caught her off guard and left her a bit off her game the day before. It was something that she had shaken off with last night's rude awakenings. She wouldn't make that mistake again, she'd make sure he'd make it out alive, she wouldn't let her guard down and she wouldn't let him down.
The way he shook his head at her, upset her for a moment but she had to remind herself of everything she learned since arriving here. There was so much already going wrong for him, she needed to stop being one of the things fighting against him she was here to help. Despite calling him on his previous promise, guilt knotted in her. She hated this. As he moved she started to walk over to help him like she had last night only to find herself stopping in her tracks as he looked her over. Whenever anyone looked her up and down she knew how to play, how to move and place herself to make them like what they saw, but it felt different right now. She didn't know what he was thinking. Her breath caught in her throat awaiting what he had to say, only to find herself giving him a soft smile. "Thanks."
Rolling her eyes at the cinnamon sugar comment, like she could ever forget that he was allergic to that, she began to make her way to the door. "I think I saw some in the kitchen. Let me get one for you and a cup of coffee. And then we'll talk before I head out." Before he could say anything, she made her way downstairs to the kitchen. It would give her time to think over how to say things nicely.
As the coffee brewed, she took the same ingredients from last night, minus the chocolate to make a muffin in a mug instead. Granted it would be a lot plainer than the chocolate one from last night, it would still be what he wanted. After the coffee and the muffin were ready she took a deep breath and headed up to talk to him. As much as she hated having to work with someone else, this was his case.
Had someone tried to save her from Jennifer as a kid, she would have hoped they had someone helping them to make sure it had happened. As much as she pretended to not care, she did. It was why she took on people's cases when they came to her at barely a payable wage. She kept the office floating with all her old aliases saved stashes for now. She was their last resort and knew that she needed to help however she could. Settling with her best friend had been the worst thing to happen to her.
"Look Wally," she said started as she made her way back into the room. Settling the mug of coffee and the muffin in a mug on the nightstand next to the bed she crossed he arms and said her piece. "I don't think you're taking this seriously. You're not taking me seriously. Not only can I handle myself I am really good at what I do. You have a kid and an agent out there and I am here to help. Now," She sat on the edge of the bed. "I am walking out there today and I am going to accidentally bump into Nolan, whether you like it or not. And I am going to do what I do best. What I know to do since I," was a kid, she stopped herself. "For a really long time. Now I need you to level with me and tell me what it is you need me to get from him to save this kid. Because as I see it the kid is priority one. If you tell me to not help in anyway, that I need to just 'enjoy myself' then I will leave. And I mean leave back to my office. If you don't let me help then what is the purpose of me being here, Wally? Why the hell ask me to come in the first place?"
Sighing, she stood up. "So, tell me. Am I packing my things and leaving or am I going out there to do what I know how to do? "
#bordeaux |▪︎main ▪︎|#the first time he's actually vulnerable with her 😭#main ⮕: sometimes revenge is a choice you gotta make#yes i love it connecting to the idea lol#also if this doesn't make sense just let me know
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Called my aunt to wish her a happy birthday and we spent an hour discussing what I was doing with my life 😭
#my uncle wants me to go get a PhD in quant or finance or information systems and then become a professor#OR#be a lawyer or a dentist#the PhD thing was very specifically catered when I was like 👉🏽👈🏽 I wanna teach#none of those things sound all that appealing..#space law Has Potential#but I think it would make me want to rip my hair out#they were both like. you have two years but then figure your life out by then#and then they were like. what is ur cousin doing. has he proposed yet#and I was like ??? it hasn’t even bee n a year?? I think they’re going to Japan#and oopsies apparently he had not told them they were going to Japan#my bad#after I. very reasonably said it makes sense to wait 2-3 years#he went ‘what is there going to be left to talk about then. life is all downhill from there. might as well get married now’#and. I’ve never ever ever heard that from a human being before#WHAT DO U MEAN YOULL RUN OUT OF THINGS TO TALK ABOUT#I could never#anyways love having my existential crises exacerbated by familial interactions#they just Say Things#I need to study. I’m gonna go do that maybe#actually no I want to complain more. my uncle keeps saying that the problem with space is that there’s only a few cities that work on it.#and that’s gonna limit my choice of partner#(so funny how they say partner. they are very homophobic and have no idea or they’d go THE MAN YOU MARRY like my mother does)#I feel like space is growing…#altho I’m sure that’s what people thought in the 60s and 70s and 80s and 90s#idk some of these bitches have been around since like the 70s and 80s and 90s#so it’s not like they all got fired immediately#my dental hygienist was telling me space was great until Obama slashed the budget#I didn’t have anything to say back considering I was 8 when he was elected and know v little about his policies#anyways. this is a psa to not call ur relatives even to wish them happy bday because then they’ll trap u in conversation and make u question
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I think my copy of the game is broken they've been doing this for 30 minutes
Crop of the Biolizard edit I did bc it makes me laugh:
#art#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#shadow the hedgehog#rouge the bat#their dynamic is so funny to me like hello what episode of Untucked is this#I am rotating them in a 2 bed 1 bath apartment in my mind#Also very proud of how this turned out I think I'm finally finding a comic rendering style that doesn't make me want to rip my hair out#Simplify baybee it's a comic not an illustration you can get a little crazy with it#Spoiler alert. Getting looser with lineart and better at colour schemes and simplifying shading. Is good actually.#It's so much easier to eyeball what a colour would look like in a setting instead of colourpicking the OG palette and struggling with...#...like 9 overlay and multiply and soft/hard light layers#Approximating colour genuinely looks better than forcing local colour into the piece. As long as the values are still there it works out#comic
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controversial take here but i really hope hetty is on her absolute worst nastygirl/comedic clown behavior in s4 to push back against the poor little meow meow woobification curse shes been experiencing since holes because i am tired
#i almost wish hiles never happened because nobody understands her character anymore lol#few things worse than when your blorbo becomes the character everyone self inserts themselves onto 💔#whenever i get too mad i remind myself that rebecca wisocky views her exactly the same way i do and then i feel better :)#watching an incredibly nuanced female character get flattened out intonthe tragic one who killed herself makes me wanna scream#bc nobody even understands WHY she killed herself and i am ripping my hair out#z#ppl r allowed to interpret the character different from me but i am allowed to think they’re wrong <3#oh no i wrote this at 6am thinking nobody would see it LMAO this is just a personal gripe#obviously people can do whatever they want and i will not stop you or directly argue#play with your dolls however you want and dont let me being a bitch stop you#i just am allowed to be grumpy about it similtaneously 😂
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Some au antag doodles
#keese draws#eternal gales#decided to finally try my hand at drawing au fydd#and decided to also draw the two I’ve already designed#I kinda chickened out hard with this au fydd design but that’s mostly because I don’t know how I’d go about implementing the big thing I cut#I wanted to include a nod at my old tazian (the species I recycled for fydd) worldbuilding by giving him some rainbow ‘hair’#but I definitely am not capable of drawing my vision well enough for my standards rn so maybe one day I’ll go for it but not rn#but long story short in the original version of the species those who were more middling height would have strands of or even entirely#rainbow hair which was like 90% me bullshitting but I have thought of a retroactive excuse#long story short most tazians would either be super tiny or like stupid tall and more middling height ones were rare#but one thing I realized lately is that all my tall ones had white hair and all my short ones had black hair#so the retroactive excuse is that the rainbow is a transitional period that usually indicates young age but can sometimes be permanent if#they don’t end up becoming properly tall#and I wanted to nod at that concept with au fydd since he’s 15 and is what would be considered pretty middling height#but that would mean figuring out how I’d wanna go about coloring that and that would make me lose it#for context fydd’s hair is supposed to be a smidge feathery#and also I like to keep my characters having somewhat manageable color pallets#not that I’m particularly good at that but I try#oh also second biggest failure of this drawing I made it so I couldn’t draw his other eye rip#he’s missing his other eye due to basically completely destroying it in the process of blowing up his original universe#the other two aren’t missing any major design elements that I can think fo fortunately#these three are all favorites of mine amongst the au antags they’re so silly#and by that I mean one of them is a grown ass adult torturing teenagers and the other two are heavily traumatized teenagers that are#helping said grown ass adult torture teenagers#well only one of them is properly helping owl is just here to meet her crush#she genuinely did not think the others would get as far and go as hard as they did#au fydd was the first member of the squad au bloom recruited and he is easily the most loyal to her#he’s also the only one au bloom even mildly gives an actual shit abt#au fydd went through a Lot in his original universe and is very ‘let’s burn it all down’ with his approach to helping#owl also went through a lot but she came out the other end just desperately wanting to stop fighting
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...
#ok. this is the fucking bullshit thing abt grad school. u go to fucking grad school bc u r a fucking tryhard nerd freak#who is either naturally very smart or ur so fucking anxious u r incapable of allowing urself to get a bad grad#and then u go to fucking grad school and everyone's like: man fuck ur classes. if youre getting streight As then u aren't focusing on ur#research. and theyre right. but u still cant fucking let go of the idea that if u get a bad grad the world is gonna fucking end and u r a#bad person. u didnt try hard enough. all this to say i have a final project that i put way too much energy into and not even in a good way#i would just open the document. start sobbing. and then close it and spiral abt how i didn't want to work on it. so its bullshit#i mean. its a good project idea ans i probably sound like i kno wtf im talking abt bc i do. i worked on that topic for 4 years but like#i could make it wayyyyy better. its bullshit. i didnt even number the citations to give more page space. i made section headers. i didnt#wrap text. i could add like 4 more lines of text if i wanted but i think im not gotta bc fuck it. ugh. i dont even. i fucking avoide#stochastic stuff altogether which i kno im gonna have to fight abt but like fuck it who cares abt randomness. i just wanna focus on the#predictably aspect of community composition. fuck u. i shouldnt have picked this topic. i mean. i had to bc its like the one microbe thing#i could do but its also like the exact topic that makes me wanna rip my hair out and start screaming. like jesus christ who tf cares? ugh.#i think id give myself a B if it was an undergrad class. but the standard is higher in an all grad class. ugh. i hate this. i should just#send it abd be done. i dont even kno when its due tomorrow. before class i guess. idk i felt like garbage today. fucking vertigo bby. i feel#ok now tho. so maybe the allergic reacting is over???? fingers r still arthritisy tho. jesus. im falling apart#ive got a pretty good sounding excuse for being lazy tho: owo i had an allergic reaction to my antidepressants 🥳 but nah no excuses we run#this body into the ground. like the good old days.#unrelated
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Alhaitham as a character is great I love how he’s a prick and “as a matter of fact ☝️” and ignores people he doesn’t want to talk to. Absolutely sensational and amazing. But if I met him in real life, as someone in STEM who has to deal with enough men who think they’re better, I would pummel him.
#sorry alhaitham lovers#I think he’s great tho#as a character only#his personality would make me want to rip my hair out#it’s funny as long as it’s not me 😌#genshin impact#alhaitham#also I think it’s fascinating that mihoyo made him in the haravatat darshan which is basically linguistics when the person he’s based on#did research on optometry and was the basis of the scientific method#but I guess that also fits his matter of fact ☝️ personality#I wonder why they decided to make him a linguistics guy I wonder what the direction for that was#I keep calling hoyo mohoyo out of habit oops
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i need to stop forgetting things exist the fucking second they leave my field of vision. why is is impossible for two things to occupy my mind at once especially when im tired. like. i feel like a sim. i feel like actions are being canceled and i just. move on. and completely forget what i was doing moments before. i fucking hate it
#i feel like it’s getting worse too#like its always hasn’t been great but the past few weeks have been especially bad#why can’t i remember things!! why is my short term memory sucking ass!!!!!!#like if i don’t write/type things down i loose it#making me wanna rip my hair out what the fuck is going on!!!!!#gonna start playing those phone games that improve memory or whatever#it’s either that or going to my mom for an essential oil recommendation#i know it’s probably some undiagnosed shit but im also like. i can’t keep blaming whatever is wrong with my brain because its a problem with#/me/. ya know?? like. yeah it is something with my brain. obviously. but i need to take some sort of action to fix it. and i dont know what#that action is#besides the two options i said before#or carrying a fucking notebook around and writing down everything. which is stupid also and i know won’t last a week#problem is im gonna forget about any rule i come up with since as soon as im preoccupied with something else. i’ll forget the rule#i would need a hat with the reminder on paper tapped to the hat#so it’s always dangling in front of my eyes#i don’t know what else to do at this point!!!!#it’s making me so worried about going away for college. cause yeah i did really well at community. but if i have the deteriorating memory#of a goldfish who’s constantly banging its head against the glass. how am i gonna make it through university.#i love writing essays in the tags that no one will read <3#having a ball rn. a great time. not feeling like a waste of resources at all rn. feeling great.#if my mom doesn’t let me wear my earbuds tomorrow i think ill scream#anyways. gonna bake some blueberry lemon sweet rolls tomorrow#me rambling#i love being undiagnosed#but let’s be real#being diagnosed won’t give me anything other than more of an excuse#because i can’t go on meds with my current living situation#and i also don’t really want to go on meds because i don’t trust them#feeling silly i think ill actually post this one maybe someone has a suggestion for what to do#vent
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