#first thing that comes to mind is crochet which i actually have stuff for crochet HOWEVER. i hate the feeling of knitwear

[wonpiltual]

I NEED A FUCKING HOBBY !!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[schizopositivity]

Hey, could I ask what coping skills you use to help with hallucinations and such?

I’m not diagnosed with anything yet so I’m not on any meds. And my coping skills aren’t very good.

I usually just use music and try to ignore things to the best of my ability. That helps with a lot of the more usual auditory hallucinations. Walls and floors moving are…hard. But I typically just reach out to feel them (and hope I’m not having tactile hallucinations too and don’t feel that move)

But things like feeling bugs on my skin. Or hearing disturbing things (screaming, loud extremely negative internal voices / intrusive thoughts, etc) I don’t really know how to deal with? And I was wondering you’d have any tips? The internet isn’t very helpful and I was wondering if someone else who experiences this stuff too might have some better suggestions!

Thanks!

My biggest coping skills are distracting myself from the hallucinations, and trying to ease my emotional reactions to them.

Music is great, but it can't really drown out the auditory hallucinations. In my experience listening to a YouTube video, watching a show/movie, listening to an audiobook or talking to someone is more helpful. These things require my attention, and for me to think about what I'm hearing, that way I'm not focusing on or thinking about the hallucinations.

I am a fan of the "putting your hands on the walls to feel that they are actually steady" trick. I've talked about it a long time ago on this blog, since I have experienced moving walls and floors a lot. I think it also is a very grounding experience. If you are hallucinating it can be very helpful to use a fidget toy or something else that is pleasing to touch (dry rice, sand, rocks, soft blankets, etc). It shifts your focus to something that is real, that you can feel and be comforted by.

For the other, maybe more distressing hallucinations, it can be very helpful to distract yourself. Consciously shifting your focus away from the hallucinations and onto something you enjoy. This can be a hobby like drawing or crocheting. Or something relaxing like watching your favorite TV show, or going on a walk. This won't actually stop the hallucinations themselves, but it will keep you engaged with something else, which can help you ignore the hallucinations.

In my experience, spending a lot of time focusing on and thinking about the hallucinations can make things worse (as in feel more severe, not change the amount of hallucinations). Luckily I have spent years coping with the hallucinations, to the point where now I can experience them and immediately move on, which is way less stressful for me. And that was a skill I learned after a lot of practice, and I'm glad I did. It won't be easy at first, but I do believe that it is possible to eventually ignore hallucinations to the point that they are just mildly annoying.

Also since you aren't getting treatment for the root of the issue (the hallucinations), the best thing you can do is try and treat your emotional reaction to them at home. This can be any self care activity that works for you. This will be personalized to you but it can be things like cuddling your pet, taking a bath, reading a book, applying makeup, baking your favorite sweets, making a cup of tea, calling a friend, etc. If you want more ideas you can turn to the internet but look for "self care ideas" or "ways to destress at home". Because hallucinations can be very distressing, and it's important to care for yourself during and after the experience. These things can overlap with the distraction techniques, either way it's getting your mind off of the hallucinations and onto things you enjoy.

I hope you find a way to make the hallucinations more manageable, and take care of yourself. Your comfort is the most important thing when it comes to hallucinations. It is always worth it to invest your time into self care and relaxation.

[dxwnfxll]

Hello *dramatic pause* it's me, your majesty. May I request whatever scp or facility staff member you want with a reader who loves crocheting, knitting, sewing and stuff like that. And the reader makes little crocheted plushies of there friends and all of them sit on there own shelf in the readers office. A little shelf that is just designated for the readers friends. Like they are well made and even have nice details like a small version of Dr. Brights necklace, a small scarf for Iceberg, Dr. Clefs doll has a matching hat with his sandals, that sort of thing.

Thank you very much, you do gods work for us.

*casually bows* of course your majesty

Enjoy scps and scp staff with a reader who loves crocheting, sewing and knitting!

(Amar replaces Shaw/Bright)

Dr. Jack Amar

-So Jack knows about your 'secret' love for crocheting, He actually *jokingly* asked for things from you all the time

-she likes collecting lil trinkets and loves giving you a 'break' to enjoy what you love

-they have a lil shelf in his office with the lil trinkets you made for him, there's all sorts of things up there

-a lil crochet turtle, a lil version of her along with the necklace, and a lil crotchet 999

-He loves having you in their office while you crotchet, she'll crack jokes about you reminding him about her grandma and needing to get you a 'rocker'

-but he still likes seeing you relax even if he really can't.

Dr Clef

-Clef used to poke fun at your lil sewing hobby, he'd always call you an 'oldie' for it

-but then you gave him a little plushie made to look like him, he didn't know what to do with it first but he liked it

-he still poked fun at your hobby but he kept the lil doll on his desk, he even called it 'mini asshole'

-recently he even started asking for sewn stuff from you, which included: a shotgun cozy, a pair of gloves, and a lil sewn doll of 166 (and he specifically asked for you to NOT tell anyone about his 166 request)

-he has all your lil sewn things around his office, he specifically has his and 166s doll sitting somewhere on his desk

Dr Glass

-Glass actually encourages you to keep up your knitting hobby, he especially encourages it inside his office.

-he doesn't know many employees who have a 'healthy' coping mech, so when he was asking about yours and yours was..well normal he was actually genuinely happy that he could finally tell someone that their coping mech was good!

-he especially loves it when you come to his office giving him lil things you made, he still has a scarf somewhere you made for him

-he proudly wears whatever you give him, like right now as he walks down the site-19 hallway with his new lil knitted hat

Dr Rights

-Rights at first didn't really care much about your Lil hobby, after all it didn't really effect her

-she'd just see you and shrug, until you gave her something one day. A lil crotchet bunny

-the thing was so adorable in her mind and she absolutely loves it

-the lil bunny you made her has a lil place on her desk, and that's the only thing she really has from you

-she doesn't really ask for anything from you, she feels you'll just make something for her whenever you want to

Iceberg

-Iceberg actually laughed at your hobby calling it 'dumb' and a 'waste of time'

-he didn't think anymore on it nor did he really care when you looked upset over him mocking your knitting hobby

-but then one day as he walked into his freezing cold office he noticed a new scarf laying on his desk.

-he didn't ask for one, nor did he order one. Where the hell did it come from??

-as he held it he could see it was knitted and he only knew one person who could knit..you.

-he wears the scarf but he reminds you daily that your hobby is still dumb (but secretly he likes it and how you thought of him, he might start asking for stuff in the future lol)

Dr Gerald

-Gerald has AWFUL bad luck, everyone knows this. So he didn't exactly trust himself around your hobby.

-especially since that hobby included yarn (which could choke him) needles (that could stab him) and you which could..uh hurt him!

-so he stayed far away from you, so far in fact he even fell down the stairs just trying to avoid you

-one day though as he just left the medical wing for the 5th time that day, you were standing outside holding something.

-he stared at you before you just kinda blocked his view of your face with the thing in your hands

-you had made him a lil 'good luck charm' of him, he calls it that but his bad luck is still there.

-he carries it around with him usually keeping it in his pocket.

Dr Kondraki

-Kondraki doesn't mind your hobby, hell everyone has their own hobby

-he doesn't mind when you sit in his office and sew away, even asking him on what you should make

-he'll usually shrug with a "i don't know..a scarf?"

-you never listen to his requests since he requests the same thing every.damn.time.

-you did make him a drink cozy though which he does like, oh! And you made him a lil 408 plush which the lil swarm like

Dr Talloran

-Tallorans life isn't all to easy, not at all.

-they actually enjoy your company especially when you bring something 'normal' to the table

-they love whenever you bring your crocheting supplies to their dorm, they also sometimes try to crotchet with you happy to do something 'normal'

-you've both actually made things for each other, you made them a lil scarf and they made you a lil messy 'blanket'

-the blanket hardly covers you so you just use it on your office chair

Draven Kondraki

-Draven has had an awful life and a busy schedule, if he isn't making sure his dad is still a functioning adult. He's on the battlefield in some unknown area to catch some unknown being

-so when he learned about your lil hobby and asked to chill with him while you knit, he almost threw you in his dorm

-He's just super happy there's someone NORMAL here (no offense to Talloran)

-he likes to sit near you as you knit and keeps anything you make him <3

Mikell Amar (dang no more gifs guys)

-Mikell doesn't mind your lil hobby, in fact he kinda enjoys it

-says you remind him of his mother whenever he see's you sitting and crocheting something

-he asks for stuff from you all the time which range from blankets to lil dolls

-he doesn't wear any of this stuff to work, but he keeps it usually either in his office or at home.

Administrator (in my own au lol)

-Admin loves gifts from all sorts of people, but sadly he usually doesn't get any since he is usually who knows where

-the time he decided to go undercover at the foundation and meet you, he adored your lil hobby

-he asks for all sorts of stuff from you, mainly to just keep you occupied as he knows you could use the distraction

-he'll usually sit next to you and have his arm drapped over you (whether you two are romantic or not, He's just a touchy person) while you crotchet away

-after his time being undercover at the Foundation is over, he'll leave but he'll make sure to take at least one of the things you made him

035

-035 sees your hobby as 'unnecessary' and even calls it boring

-he'll watch you sew away and act all dramatic about it, he'll sigh loudly, over exaggerate his voice and complain

-"are you done yet? I'm bored." "What are you making? It looks awful."

-you made him a lil hat and he hates it, especially when the other researchers laugh about it

049

-049 enjoys your company, especially since it's so friendly

-he lets you stay in his containment cell as you knit away, he even requests some things from you

-he has a lil blanket, a lil plague doctor plush and a scarf he keeps for 'when winter comes'

-He's even been wanting to learn how to knit so he can make some things for you, but it's kinda hard😅

Hope you enjoy!!

(If y'all have character requests do give em, only requests i won't take are literal animals or children lol)

[yakuzacanons]

Hey so suggestion for some hcs if you feel up for it👀 Their s/o giving them like? The sweetest cutest handmade gift for their birthday like it's nobody's business?

And it's special because they're supposed to be like "big scary men rawrrr" or smthn and people never really associated them with more wholesome stuff

Like just imagine gifting Ryuji an adorable plushie you crocheted for him and he's just like?? Holy shit??? Nobody gave me anything that special before in my life???

OMG anon, your brain...your mind. This is such a good idea. I hope you're ready for the longest and fluffiest post cuz I'm about to rip and tear. Also, first submission ever, so thank you so much! Giving you the biggest hug, hope you enjoy this.

Kazuma Kiryu

Honestly will just be stunned upon receiving it. A gift? Made by hand? For HIM?? Unbelievable. He'll feel a mix of surprised and grateful. He might not manage more than just a polite but tender "thank you", but he will immediately envelop you in the biggest hug. Words simply couldn't express how much he loves this gift and how much he loves you, so he'll let the hug say those words for him.

Majima Goro

You can bet he is going to immediately show this gift off to everyone and anyone who is willing to let him in their vicinity. Lots of "Kiryu-chaaaan, look what I got!" or "Kyodai, check this out! Ain't my darlin' just the sweetest sweetheart ya ever did see?". You'll probably feel more flustered than him in the end. He'll also pick you and spin you around with glee upon receiving it. The fact you love him makes him already feel like he's on cloud 9, so a gift like this makes him feel like he's on the moon.

Saejima Taiga

As someone who also likes to make handmade crafts as gifts, he will be totally floored upon receiving it. Will compliment your craftsmanship, even if you feel like you didn't do a great job or made mistakes. Loves the gift so much that he's likely to place it somewhere special in his house. If it's clothes, he'll wear it in front of you as much as possible to show his appreciation. Will give you a big hug and kiss after and will promise to return the favor on your next birthday.

Akiyama Shun

As someone who is NOT at all good at handmade things, he's amazed by anything you make. Even if you consider yourself an amateur, Akiyama is your number 1 fan. If possible, he'll display your gift proudly in his office. Except a flurry of kisses when he sees your gift, he just wants to shower you with kisses because he feels so completely and totally loved by you.

Tanimura Masayoshi

He's super bad at seeing surprise gifts coming so it'll come as a total shock to him. He might think he doesn't deserve something so special, as he's someone who came from very little and doesn't have much. Even so, he'll be so happy that he won't be able to contain himself. He may even jump up and down excitedly while holding your hands. He'll say something like "For me? Really?? Wow!" before giving you a kiss on the cheek, smiling from ear to ear.

Ryuji Goda

It's only fitting that the scariest looking guy is actually the biggest softie when it comes to you. The first time you ever give him a handmade gift, he might be speechless at first. He's used to fancy gifts, things that cost a lot of money, things that are usually bought to impress him. Receiving something made by the person he loves most will make his heart skip a beat. He'll likely scoop you up into his arms and give you a kiss on the forehead. Ryuji is the type of guy who is usually sweeping others off of their feet, so it feels amazing to him to feel that way for once.

Daigo Dojima

He's in a similar boat with Ryuji in that he usually gets gifts that are meant to appear costly to impress him. Secretly, Daigo yearns for genuine connection and understanding, which is why you mean so much to him and why your gift might honestly make him shed a tear or two. Something so heartfelt and loving will stop him in his tracks. As someone with barely any time to really stop and take things in due to how busy he is, moments like this make him feel the most loved. He'll treasure this gift forever.

Niskiyama Akira

He'll try to play it cool by saying something like "Aw, you didn't have to do all that just for me" but inside his heart is beating wildly. Like Daigo, he plays it tough but secretly yearns for tenderness, but unlike Daigo, he will still try to play it cool even in a moment like this. He knows you totally see through him though, so he'll eventually follow his statement up with a a passionate kiss and holding you gently. Moments like this with you give him so much peace.

Mine Yoshitaka

He's so used to standing strong on his own that he won't react for a few moments upon receiving your gift. Mine honestly didn't think he was capable of loving, yet alone being loved. It's something he still isn't used to and may never be fully used to it, but that's never stopped you from giving him your all and it gets him every single time. He may not even speak at all, simply giving you a deep but tender kiss and holding you so very close to him, as if he were afraid you'd suddenly vanish from in front of him.

Tachibana Tetsu

His immediate reaction will be to want to treat you to something nice in return. However, if you make it clear that you did this because you wanted to and because you love him, he'll practically melt with tenderness. He's so caught up with business that everything feels like a transaction to him a lot of the time. Life hasn't dealt him the kindest of cards, and this reminds him that he's not only worthy of love but deserving of it. Things like this make him relish life for all that's good. He may not manage to say much more than a hushed "Thank you" and squeezing your hand in his, but trust me, this means more to him than he could ever express.

[omophagic-beast]

for the tarot rpg ask game! The Fool, The Empress, The Hierophant, The Chariot, The Hanged Man, The Devil, The Tower, The Star, The Sun!

!!! wowow hi!! thank you for all the questions, im gonna put them under a read more as to not clog up peoples dashes

from this ask game

The Fool – What do the earliest stages of work on a game look like for you? OR How did you get into game design?

i have a notes discord server! and a channel in there specifically for game ideas. previously i had a big word document titled "game ideas", but its easier to access discord from my phone lol

usually i have an idea and i stick it in there first

heres the start of the pillars of creation :3

and then ill noodle around with it, just brainstorm and slap spaghetti around. this is another reason why i like discord for this at the moment, its informal and easy, much less daunting than a word doc

i didnt end up using most of the bits here lol

and then ill move it into a word doc once its clear that ive got an actual project / game starting to form!

the one problem with this is sometimes ill keep an idea in there for much longer than i should and it becomes a mess of me replying to myself, terrible to follow. this is the current problem with moonlight whaling, sigh

The Empress — Where do your ideas come from? OR Do you seek out or avoid inspiration while working on an idea?

a lot of places!! tumblr being one of them, sometimes ill see a post where im like "huh that could be a game in some way" and ill stick it in my notes discord for later. but really anything, books, movies, songs, other games. im not the first to say this but u gotta read / watch / experience new things to make new things

The Hierophant — Who is a fellow game designer you’ve learned a lot from? OR What is a piece of popular wisdom about games you think is nonsense?

i answered the second one here so ill answer the first!

ive learned a lot from any designer whos game ive played or read, to start. but i wanna shout out @thydungeongal on here, her posts abt game design and rollmaster / d&d are highly highly fascinating and helpful to me, as a guy who hasnt even played d&d let alone any old school stuff and just kinda jumped into the indie scene from the start.

kinda makes me wanna play rollmaster, ngl. whats it doin with all those mechanics and tables =w=

The Chariot — What is the next project you’re planning to start OR What is the next project you’re excited to finish?

this has been my big question to myself recently, what game to really focus in on next. i have games that just need to be finished, but i think my next one* is gonna be this time travel game ive been thinking of

working title is Hooked, and the reason i think im going to start (and finish) it next is cause ive already got the main mechanic figured out, where when you fail a roll you can choose to create a hook, and in doing so succeed the roll

but that hook is a place where a future you has traveled back to that point in time and given you what you needed to succeed, which means at some point youre going to have to come back and close the loop, or else risk creating a paradox

too many paradoxes and the universe explodes so like. be careful :3!

it is going to be a lot of work, i want the general aesthetic to be the journal of a time traveler, with notes from all their future and past selves scrawled in the margins in different colors. and theres the question of if its a solo game or multiplayer, or both. solo-friendly is my current thought, but encouraged for more than one person. but we'll see how it actually plays.

The Hanged Man — What other creative pursuits do you have? OR What current trends in game design are you most interested in?

someone should ask me this again cause i wanna answer the other one also :3c

but! i have a crochet project on the mind so i wanna talk abt other stuff im into also :3

im currently considering ADHD and how it could possibly relate to myself, so just keep that in mind when i say ive dipped my paws into a whoooole lot of different creative hobbies. sewing, knitting, pottery, bookbinding, needle felting, jewelry making, and yea, crochet, are all stuff ive been into at one point or another

but my favorites are crochet and cooking / baking. for most of my life i thought my career was gonna be in food service! ive been a baker, cake decorator, and diner cook before, and loved all three of those jobs.

and crochet is great mainly cause you can make stuffed animals / amigurimis >:33 i loooove little guys and being able to choose what soft yarn im gonna make em out of, though its been a minute since ive made one. but!! like i mentioned ive got a project on the mind, as im gonna try and make the "something strange and indescribable" from the Before the Flood backerkit campaign and im very excited abt it :3 stay tuned for posts abt my success or failure on this front

The Devil — What motifs or mechanics do you just keep coming back to? OR What is a game you’ve enjoyed playing in the last year?

NIGHTHAWKS by @titanrpg is really really good. it has a heart in it, one that beats at an all too-familiar rhythm. when i played it we told a story that was perhaps a touch too close to home as well, disparate sad people sitting several stools apart at a dive bar in a small town.

i have a tendency towards comedy when i play ttrpgs, but my favorite moments are all when ive been deeply serious and sad, and thats what i got from NIGHTHAWKS

The Tower — Talk about about a game you tried to make that crashed and burned.

center of the known universe was an anthology of games i wanted to make a while back, all inspired by the part of the nevadan desert i live in. i dont think its crashed and burned necessarily but i certainly never finished it and im not sure i ever will, though i still like the ideas for some of the games and may release them individually

The Star — Talk about a game you’re working on and what excites you about it.

a game ive been working on for a looong time that i dont think ive really talked abt on here is The Lady, The Tiger, and The Accused. its a descended from the queen game based on The Lady or The Tiger? short story, where (to put it very briefly) a king has created a new form of justice where the accused is put in an arena with two identical doors in front of them.

behind one door, a lady of an appropriate social standing for them to marry, behind the other a very hungry tiger. this leaves the verdict up to fate, for if the accused is innocent they will surely pick the door with the lady, and if they are guilty they will choose the door with the tiger.

but the accused in the story is also the lover of the lands princess, and when they look back at her for the last time she raises a hand and points towards one of the doors.

the question in the story is one of love. would the princess rather see her lover dead, or married to someone else?

what comes through the door, the lady or the tiger?

but! there are other characters in this story, with agency and lives of their own.

The Lady, The Tiger, and The Accused instead asks a question of trust. when The Accused looks back towards their princess, and she raises her hand, do they trust her? do they open the door that she points towards?

its a game for three players, with each person playing one of the titular characters. it uses the descended from the queen format to create the character of the princess throughout play, along with the characters of The Lady, The Tiger, and The Accused.

its a good game!! ive got a bit more work to do on it, mainly on the tiger role. not everyone is comfortable being an actual tiger and role playing scenes that involve communicating with humans or attending parties and such, it turns out.

but im really excited abt it overall :3 its good and fun and i think it uses the descended from the queen format really well and hopefully one day ill do a crowdfunding project for it and get enough money to hire a bunch of different artists to make princess illustrations for it >:333

The Sun — Talk about a game you’ve made that you’re proud of.

im proud of all of my games, in one way or another. but, with an obligatory Before the Flood mention (crowdfunding now!), im really and truly proud of my body is your body is our body is

it was my first kinda big game that i published, and there was a lot of stuff with the first edition i really wasnt super happy with. im really, really proud of myself for finally going back in this year and fixing it. its so much better now! in a lot of ways.

and i mean it was good to start with also, most of my problems were with the programming side of it. when i was making the second edition reading back through the game made me cry a bit lol. theres a lot of banger lines in there and a lot of feelings.

[zombiechoir]

The only question i'm asking myself right now is: Did i get better at managing grief or am i fooling myself?

I know damn well what the reality is but i don't feel it. Maybe it's self protection. But when i look at him, i see a man that is not dead, not really. I see a silly man with a bass guitar that i love dearly and owe allot of my sanity to.

The thing is that i'm terrified of death bacause it comes with one of my biggest fears, which is forgetting. Forgetting what someone looked like, forgetting what they sounded like, what they did, the memories, the first day of meeting, the little things. So when someone passes (human or animal) that was dear to me, i need to pay as much attention to them as possible. Memorials, photo's, crafts, stories because forgetting feels like the biggest betrayel I could ever do.

When I read about Reita, I just got off work and I had plans that evening and I had exactly one hour to get ready. Dinner was gonna be ready in 10 minutes and to kill time I opened tumblr only to immediately see the news. I googled it cause people are trolls but it turned out to be true. So I broke down, cried while eating (that combo is painful af), made myself presentable and off we went. My mom and I had tickets to see our favorite comedian, front row. The fucking irony!!!!! While we were waiting for it to start I was reblogging memorial stuff to calm myself. I actually managed to have a good evening and even laughed out loud at the jokes. I thought of Reita plenty of times during the show, I thought of Uruha, Aoi, Kai and Ruki. I thought of 4 people on stage instead of 5. I thought of the promise I made with myself to see them live one day, to get vip tickets and crochet each of them a silly gift. It went back and forth, "hahaha funny joke" to "omfg not our beloved Reita". I've managed to hold myself together pretty well this week. I had allot of crying session, cried full on at my workplace. But my desk is facing the wall and I'm a very silent cryer so no one noticed.

Tbh that exact day I was thinking of how much I hated life. And how fucked up I've felt and how fed up I was with everything. How I feel like things will never be okay and the thought of "making a plan" crossed my mind. Reita's passing brought me back to my senses, like babygirl wtf are you doing??? It made me realize there's so much to live for still, that rude strangers aren't important. The only things that matter are the things and people I love. Reita is one of those people and it made me forget about recent shitty events and only focus on that silly man with that bass and the noseband. Maybe I'm delusional, maybe it hasn't hit me fully yet. But I can't help but feel so grateful for this man. Grateful for discovering this band, to hear that bass he provided. Grateful to be alive and to keep going. I want to live as long as possible to remember all the things I loved for as long as possible. He did that for me, in life he comforted me during my anxiety and depression. And in his death he comforted me again but in a different way. And I want to keep that feeling and take it with me♡ Thank you wonderful bass man, with your goofy and bright personality. Rest well, you won't be forgotten.

[theoutsanityshoppe]

Hello! I have a fun story about how I found your blog! I have this OC that I really really love a lot, so I got myself a custom crochet doll of him off of etsy with some christmas money. And while i was searching for which artist to go with, i came across one who was using your little fire-headed detective guy as an example and i thought it was a really cute little design! i can't remember if i did end up going with that artist or a different one but his design really stuck out in my mind because i thought it was so neat. flash forward a bit and i see a commission advertising post from cubesona, who was using that same character as an example and i'm like "oh shit it's this guy again!". and because it was tax return season i got myself that cubesona commission of the same OC i'd gotten the doll of as a little treat for myself. and then we come to recently when i saw cubesona posting the drawing of my boy on his tumblr, and of course i went looking through the tags to see what people were saying about him. and i saw you had called him pretty and it made me really happy! so i go check the post and lo and behold i see the same little firey guy in your header! and i'm like "oh shit! it's all come full circle!!" so uh yeah neither of us knew it but i've kinda been following you for a little bit it seems alsdkjf

This is the single greatest story I could have heard this morning I FREAKING LOVE THIS.

I am suuuuuuuuuuper curious now if you went with the same etsy artist cuz I LOVE her stuff - I actually have two OC's by her and I plan on getting more later! That one, the crochet of Flint, was also the first doll I ever got of him! [I have four now hahahah I keep doing the same as you and every time I have a little extra saved money left over from things I use it to treat my self with more things of my boy] Otherwise that is just CRAZY that it went full circle like that!! I'm glad I have him in my header too since I post all my art to a secondary art blog ahhaha and yes!! your OC IS pretty!!! I loved his design and I absolutely want to know more about him! The one thing I wish cubesona did differently was put actual links/tags to us instead of just typing out our usernames cuz idk if that means the person is on tumblr, on twitter, on some other site... and I don't wanna search haha XD And also!! Thank you for the compliments on Flint~!!! It makes me very happy to hear he pops out to people when they see him adkfgjag I'm extremely proud of his design. ;v; I would be lying too if I said I wasn't saving screencaps of artist who use their art of my boy in their commission examples because it makes me INSANELY proud as an artist ksfdjgakjdfg

@kingkaibosh

[gaviicreates]

Bingo Roll 3 - Chaos Chevron Scarf (Pt1)

Ignoring the fact I am also making a chevron scarf in Tunisian crochet for a gift right now, I was super excited to get this roll on my not-so- fancy excel grid and randomizer formula. Usually when I think of chevron, I think of stripes, and I have some palette packs on hand that have been waiting for that perfect project.

Just a few things to figure out: What am I making? How thick and tall do I want the stripes? And, how many colors?

My brain immediately decided scarf, so that's the first question out of the way. It's such a staple accessory, and I am of the opinion you can never have enough scarves.

I'm really enjoying the randomizer that comes from choosing each of these next projects, and I've been wanting to do a project that combines a dice roll with a corresponding color for a long time. With that in mind - why not all of the colors?

The palette pack I have has 10 colors, and I have d10s a plenty with my tabletop stuff. I'm choosing this color scheme with pink leading into red-browns, and light blues darkening into natural greens. I didn't have a project in mind when I bought this from Hobbii (Rainbow Cotton 8/4); I really just wanted to try out the cotton. So this is the perfect opportunity to dive into the pack.

The set will give me 175 yards of each color, so I am finishing out with 1,750 yards of fingering weight cotton to work with here. I won't need that much, and this should be more than enough depending on the dice rolls. I will add one rule for the dice roll - if I've used the color in the previous round, I'll be rolling again. Finally the stitch. Since the pack is already fingering weight - and the label actually is calling it a 1 weight - I feel like hdc will do just fine for balancing color changes. While I like the look of singles in striping, I think it will be too dense with the 1 weight. And honestly, it will take too long. HDC is actually my favorite base stitch too, and it gives some wonderful options for texture. I'm going to do BLO, and follow the instructions for this pattern. I whipped up a sample in the yarn I used for the amigurumi challenge, which is the same yarn as what I have in this palette. If I've done my math right, every 4 rows will be 1.5 inches, so I can expect a 66 inch scarf to be a solid 176 rows. I might take it up to 72 inches. Who knows.

I may not like math, but I LOVE data, so I of course will be keeping track of all my rolls. I'm planning to roll for 10 at a time to really break this project into sections. That'll give me the discipline too for either weaving in as I go, or at least for the every 10. I do not want to get to the end of the project and have 300+ends to weave in. Truly the stuff of nightmares

As a note - I've made up the color names just to keep myself organized.

I'm so ready to get started...[insert dice roll here!] ....Our first row will be #9!!

Crochet Bingo

[harkermylee]

Riffing off the previous anon (re: lee being interesting to talk to) what are her interests? obv. a lot of speculation is required but maybe:

cryptography ( because she does crack the longlegs cipher which apart from satan's spooky influence needs preexisting knowledge)

computer science (which is a prerequisite for the above, but lee hunched over in a big terminal writing C in the university computer rooms instead of socializing is a funny image; also code follows clean logic unlike people)

literature, and if so what kind of stuff? pulpy romance fiction probably not but maybe science fiction and ancient lit (homer, odyssey, etc)

theology (from a historical rather than religious viewpoint) see: lee's nerd uhm actually its "Revelation" not "Revelations" moment

carpentry/woodworking? (spreading the 'lee in a flannel shirt' agenda but it could be a meditative hobby, measuring and sawing)

bit of a reach but drawing? prob not portraits but interiors, landscapes and the occasional demonic-influenced charcoal drawing at 3 am of the man downstairs

and a few things that lee probably isn't interested in, just for funsies

mixology (gotta be sober for your descent into hades)

psychology and public speaking (maybe, she used to want to be an actress but the reasons are unknown)

anything to do with children

crocheting

fashion (lee has to own a few ugly christmas sweaters gifted to her by FBI colleagues)

golf because who likes golf?

hi anon!! ooo i love this so much!!

i think most of her interests would be the ones you stated! i honestly think her interests in literature would be science fiction and stuff like that. can’t picture lee reading some sort of romance novel, definitely would make her cringe if she just read the first page.

carpentry/woodworking is something i could possibly see lee doing, i’m trying to picture it hmm. definitely a meditative hobby, she likes the sound of the wood when it’s being sawed through and likes to measure it. maybe she has a few lil creations resting around her living room area.

lee would be interested in drawing but always thought her skills were just in the middle. most of her drawings would be of stuff she’s scared of or about the trauma she endured but they would normally be drawn at a late hour and immediately thrown away right after. take it as a way to sorta get her mind off all of that. but she does have a few drawings of landscapes that she keeps around and tends to admire, never showing them to anyone as she would be embarrassed.

lee would have such a huge interest in computer science, that scene of her just hunched over in the computer room 😭. she sorta looks at peace there, i would assume some of her mind is filled up with how this technology works.

i also think lee likes to do research, on what? maybe just anything. i like to imagine she researches maybe stuff about dreams or nightmares, i dunno i feel like she searches up the meanings to them or what they could possibly mean future wise. even if she knows that the answers half of the time are just speculations, she still finds interest in it.

oo lee would absolutely hate everything you said on the stuff she doesn’t like part. fashion is not something lee cares about, just putting on whatever she could find in her closet the quickest, and if it looks good hooray! maybe the fashion police wont get her today!!

HAAHHA she definitely has a whole bunch of ugly christmas sweaters that she tells herself she’ll get rid of them but she never does. maybe they’ll come to the occasion for a party but to be honest she doesn’t even think about attending parties.

GOLF SUCKS I HATE GOLF AND SO DOES LEE.

[interlockingpatches]

Im gonna ramble in your inbox for a bit lmao, I have a few ideas!

What about music themed?? Like music notes, treble clef, etc (idk a lot about musical notation honestly but ik theres a lot of symbols). My next thought was instruments but usually those are super detailed, like string and brass? A Harp?? The simplest i can think is like, some piano keys would make a cute design, or maybe just the headstock of a guitar! God, brass instruments would be so intense to make, i just looked at a saxaphone and I'm freaking out thinking of the detail and how impressive that would be. Or maybe physical media like a vinyl record or a little cassette tape? A little boombox, record player, or radio?

Going off of that, I think people really like decade themed/nostalgic stuff. I love 70s things personally so i may just be projecting, but i think 80s and 90s vibes are super popular! You could look at toys, technology, icons, and popular colors of an era, things like that and that might be inspiring!

Also thinking about summer themed designs since summer is coming up! Seasonal stuff is so cute and I notice people are always looking for little seasonal projects! Surfboards, beach umbrella, a fruity lil drink, are things that come to mind for me!

The more i write the more ideas i think of but this ask is already huge lmaooo so ill leave with these and hopefully its not overwhelming

First of all I will not be out-rambled in my own house lets gooo

These are all so good and sensible and fun! Thank you so much! I spent a day and a half sketching out just some of them (and going off an a few tangents), and there are a few already that I can't wait to actually pattern up and make <3

Musical instruments and notation are both perfect and super hard for the format. They're so detailed, like you said, and their design is so specific; it's hard to know what can be fudged or elided without getting the whole thing irredeemably wrong. (I've had the same problem with birds and arthropods). Like, how many of the saxophone's fourteen-hundred eldritch appendages *do* I need to show? I could include them all, and the motif would be the size of a bedspread and take a month and a half to crochet, and I perversely want to do that now so thanks also for that.

Even in that keyboard motif (which, you'll have to trust me, is a very good likeness of Casio keyboard whose demo song was the soundtrack to my early childhood) is already over twice width of my largest typical designs, and it would have to be twice as big still for me to space the keys accurately.

Decades are a great organizing conceit! They lend themselves to a kind of idiosyncratic hodgepodge that really appeals to me, and "random collection of old things that you remember" is a trope people don't seem to ever get sick of—and new things are getting old every day. They're also a way to ease into pop culture references, which I haven't really done, and which might offset some of my Debbie-Downer tendencies (when you suggested "70s things" my actual first thought was "what do quaaludes even look like?" My first idea for the 80s was "Margaret Thatcher demolishing a council house," and my thought process for the 90s went "Monica Lewinsky's dress, OJ Simpson's gloves, Tonya Harding's crowbar… NAFTA?" Terrible patches, all. What people want as a little picture of a sofa at a jaunty angle with a caption that says "PIVOT!").

Anyway. I'm especially excited to try the disco ball, the record and the off-brand Tamagotchi (I preferred Gigapets, personally). Those all have double-length diagonals that I've freehanded a few times and know to work at least okay, but which I haven't figured out how to notate. Oh! and I haven't got a beach umbrella that I like just yet, but the hurricane cocktail seems like a good way to kick off a summer collection—as long as I don't follow it up with, like a graph of yearly average temperatures, which is something I would absolutely do.

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Making emotional support teddy bears, because why not?

Never underestimate the power of having an emotional support companion by your side when you need a little lift. Life can get rough and sometimes we have a lot weighing on our minds, so why not turn to something that can provide you comfort to help you get through the day?

This crafting session turned out to be perfect timing for the visitors who dropped by the camp before heading home after meeting up to address some heavy issues. I wasn’t at that meeting, but I am aware of the situation, and so I really hope things turn out okay in the end. It’s never easy dealing with shit that really isn’t in anyone’s control - life can be cruel like that.

Daisy Jane and I came up with the idea of making teddy bears after seeing a bunch of videos of people making emotional support chickens. I don’t know, something about emotional support chickens just caught everyone’s attention, like the kind of thing we never thought we needed and now we’re intrigued. I enjoyed watching other people film their process on making it, which turned out to be therapeutic for them too, probably because they’re trying something new and different. Plus, you’re making a cute little friend and watching them slowly come to life - how is that not amazing?

It’s a knitting pattern, which was how we came across it, though I’m honestly still on the fence on actually making one for myself. First of all, I don’t have the right yarn for it - I mean, I could make it a scrappy project like a lot of people have done, but I don’t know if I have enough and whether or not it’ll look cohesive. Don’t wanna play yarn chicken while making a chicken - haha.

Also, and probably the biggest obstacle for me, is that I’ve never made anything like this before, so I really have no idea how it’s gonna turn out. The only experience I had with making a knit animal was a fish from a long time ago, and that just involves simple increases and decreases - two pieces knit the exact same way and then seaming them together. But a chicken’s gonna be more complex than that from what it looks like, and given my experience with crochet amigurimi, I’m gonna really struggle with my stitch counts.

(I’m still haunted by my wonky six tentacled octopus…)

Anyway, instead of an emotional support chicken, we’re sewing up emotional support teddy bears. We have kits from a while ago that I’ve been meaning to use for an event…only to completely forget about them. Finally did some long overdue cleaning and found them hidden under a pile of stuff that I really need to sort through - but that’s for another time.

The kits contain everything you need, as well as detailed instructions, so it’s beginner friendly. I’m kinda rusty when it comes to making plushies, which I usually use a sewing machine for anyway, and most of the group have little to no experience with sewing in general aside from basic mending skills.

The instructions are written to cater to novices and those who are more experienced, which is why there’s a lot of pages despite it being straightforward. A little annoying to flip through, I gotta admit, but I really appreciate the detail - it’s just the format that really bothers me. They really should’ve split it into three booklets for the three levels, beginner, intermediate, and advanced so it’s easier to read. Highlighting definitely helps, or else you’d end up reading the wrong set of instructions.

Joining us in this event is quite a group - Ambrosia, Latte, Aymn, Connie, Olive, Della, Hongxia, Sadiki, and Madeleine. As for why they’re all together, it’s because they’re concerned about Safiyya. The situation in the Lunar Rainforest cannot go on much longer - Safiyya can stall all she wants, but patience is running thin on both sides. While they have managed to avoid a full on conflict, that doesn’t change the fact that there are many longstanding problems that should’ve been dealt with swiftly and decisively in the first place.

While that is a pressing issue, that’s not what this meeting really is about. To put it simply, Safiyya is not meant to be a leader. That doesn’t make her less of a person - it’s just that most people aren’t suited for that kind of position. Like personality traits - some are more emotional while others are more rational, some can work under pressure while others will crack. Safiyya does have some qualities of a capable leader, but in the words of her friends and colleagues, some of her greatest strengths are also her greatest weaknesses.

Being a leader is tough, and it’s not something I’d personally strive for. Having the option to choose to become a leader is considered a luxury to some. For people like Safiyya, Della, Hongxia, and Madeleine, they didn’t choose to become leaders, they were pretty much handed that role because they have obligations to fulfill. Of course, they’ll do their utmost to do their job, but often at the expense of their own well being.

That’s why we’re all worried about Safiyya. It’s bad enough that the Lunar Rainforest affairs are a huge source of stress for her, and now her personal life seems to be falling apart too. Ambrosia and Olive suspected that something had come between Aymn and Safiyya as they have grown distant over the past year. Shutting those close to you out and shouldering the burden only for yourself is never a good sign. Aymn tried his best to reach out to her, but I think this is just one of those things where it’s not entirely anyone’s fault, just a bunch of complicated circumstances tangled up together to create a situation where everyone loses out.

Could things have been handled differently? Yes, I believe so - to some extent. There’s really no way of knowing, so I won’t go down that route. That’s not to say that they didn’t try - I think they handled things as best as they can. It could be worse, should be better - again, there’s no use going back and forth on the past. What matters now is the present and what we can do about it.

I think Madeleine, Della, and Hongxia understand Safiyya’s struggles with being in a position that they never really wanted or felt like they deserved. It’s bad enough dealing with a lot of pressure from all around, it’s even worse when you don’t have the option to step away. I mean, you can, but then everyone will hate you for letting everyone down because your existence is basically tied to your ability to fulfill a specific role, which I know is not a good thing.

People aren’t tools, weapons, or pawns, they’re just people. Sure, some end up with more burdens and responsibilities than others due to birthright or whatever, but it’s not right to define them as their purpose and nothing else. I can’t imagine what it’s like being told since you were born that you have to be x, y, and z, and if you fail, you’re a disappointment because so many people depend on you. Even if someone can handle the pressure, it shouldn’t be something you expect from someone all the time. No one is invincible, after all. We are all prone to fail or fall short of expectations.

Hongxia and Della didn’t have much of a choice because of their families despite the fact that they have proven that they’re not meant to be leaders. Both of them actually developed severe mental health issues from running themselves to the ground - psychosomatic paralysis and substance abuse, to name a few. Like, that’s fucking serious and absolutely not acceptable. A stressful life like that can and will kill you, which was why Della’s mother finally had enough and intervened.

Safiyya may be immortal, but she is not invincible. Hongxia was able to recognize the signs of chronic overwork because Meiying hammered it on to him when he showed the exact same signs. He said he never realized how terrifying it was for those around him to see someone running themselves to the ground until finally seeing it for himself with Safiyya. The others have seen it far too many times than they’d like to admit, but it’s the kind of thing that often gets swept under the rug for various reasons.

In other words, if Della and Hongxia hadn’t fought hard to break away from their leadership positions, they will eventually work themselves to death. Della said her mother recently confessed to her that over the past year she had premonitions of her dying, which is naturally a parent’s worst nightmare. Not just from overwork or illness, murder or assassination’s another thing to worry about, especially if you’re high up there in terms of influence and politics. With one foot already in a grave, unless there’s an intervention, it won’t be long before they fall.

Hongxia said it was similar with his mother, and Meiying, Aiwen, and his sister in law, all of them putting it bluntly that he was going to wind up dead in a few years if he kept trying to shoulder all the responsibility on himself. While his brother means well and appointed him as the Xuelin for a reason, it’s just not something he wants out of life, which is why he’s been in kind of a weird position in terms of his status within the pavilion. Now that Hongxia’s on medical leave for an indefinite amount of time, that will make the rift between him and the others much more wider.

He’s got a lot to deal with too when he has to go back home, but right now his physical and mental health takes priority. Leaving home was the right choice for him as he’s no longer in a stressful environment, though that doesn’t change the fact that there are still a lot of things that need to still be addressed. Now he’s even more determined to not succeed his brother, which is a whole ‘nother issue that makes his whole situation even more complicated.

Well, the best Hongxia and everyone else can do is take it one day at a time. I don’t think it’s a good idea for him to go back anytime soon. He said so himself that he’s afraid that the second he gets home, his headaches and paralysis will return, and he’s probably right. I can’t comment on Qiangshou’s politics, but surely, they can work something out? I’m sure Hongxia’s not the only one who feels out of place in the Senlin Pavilion, though he’s probably one of the very few who not only actively fights back, but also has supporters by his side who care about his wellbeing over status and obligation.

Madeleine and Della were lucky in the sense that they were freed from the shackles that bound them for most of their lives. Della had aspirations to become an Eagle Stellaron, only to become disillusioned when she realized that the organization as a whole was corrupt. To make matters worse, her own parents were complicit, and so she was in a difficult position. There was also that whole thing with her friend being murdered by a captain who apparently had a habit of silencing those who didn’t see eye to eye with the Stellarons. If she wasn’t already so distrustful of most of her colleagues, she could have become one of his victims too.

Basically, it was a toxic environment where the people around her were actively driving her to her grave. And she was far from the only one who was a victim - there were a lot more like her who were not as fortunate. At least because of her mother’s status, Della had some sort of immunity, as in, most of her tormenters knew exactly how far to push her around without angering their superior. Sadly, most of the other Stellarons weren’t so lucky to be born to such families, and a good number of them ended up quitting or wound up dead in a matter of years.

For Della, cutting ties with the Eagle Stellarons and having a hand in their downfall was the right choice. She knew what she was doing by throwing herself into the crossfire, that she was never liked by her colleagues anyway, so being branded as a traitor is nothing compared to what they put her through. Although things have quieted down, she still has to be on her guard. Nothing too serious has happened, but she’s had some close calls with former acquaintances who failed to get a rise out of her. That’s just something she’ll have to deal with for possibly the rest of her life. The way she sees it, that’s a small price to pay for her freedom.

Madeleine was essentially created as a pawn and yet she willingly let herself be used that way because of her strong sense of justice. While she has no regrets for many of her actions, she does resent her loss of freedom and autonomy over the past few centuries, which really took a toll on her. If Connie and Fontaine hadn’t intervened with fate and essentially pushed things along, she’d probably lose herself completely with all the deception she had to put up with.

Just because she was willing to get blood on her hands doesn’t mean she’s okay with it, but sometimes you have to take an impartial and somewhat cold stance in order to get shit done, even if it makes you an enemy to some. As much as she wishes she could be an idealist like Safiyya, to try to find a way to work things out so everyone wins and no one ever gets hurt, Madeleine knows that it’s just simply impossible. Not everyone is willing to make sacrifices for the greater good.

Sometimes you have to be the bad guy, the cynic, the traitor, or whatever. Sometimes you have to play dirty, burn a few bridges along the way, manipulate the general public so they see things in your favor. I’m not saying that I necessarily approve of that, but there are times when you have to do the hard thing if you want to see certain results.

Most of the time, it’s not personal, it’s just someone doing their job, so I think when personal feelings gets involved, that muddies everything up. That’s probably why Safiyya and Madeleine felt the need to isolate themselves to avoid dealing with complicated feelings. I get why they feel the need to distance themselves and shoulder their burdens alone, but that doesn’t mean they should, not if they keep sacrificing themselves for the greater good.

It’s understandable why Madeleine doesn’t want Safiyya to go down the same road she did. Like her, Safiyya was created for a purpose and ended up with a lot more burdens than she bargained before thanks to unseen circumstances such as her predecessor’s death. However, unlike Madeleine and Nahla - who came to her position in a similar way - Safiyya was completely unprepared, which probably explains her hesitancy and avoidance for any sort of conflict.

Between the three, Nahla has proven to be a capable leader after successfully regaining control of Dharma when it fell to the wayside. The events of Adrikha were somewhat similar to the first rebellion in the Lunar Rainforest, the obvious differences being that Nahla’s faction succeeded where Safiyya’s failed in their approach not only to restore order but also maintain peace. Another major difference is that Nahla was more ambitious and driven, not by power, but because of her sense of duty and obligation driven by the fact that no one but her can do the job that was rightfully hers.

While it might seem like the best option, having Safiyya step down will create even more problems. Aymn’s probably the best choice as her successor but he considers himself an ill fit for such a role for various reasons - one being that he’s a mortal human. Although he’s well respected among his peers, there’s many who still see him as an outsider since that’s what he is to those whose families lived in the Lunar Rainforest for generations. There’s also the complicated on and off relationship between them, which most of them had already suspected, though that’s an entirely different issue.

So, it’s a lot to deal with and no one has any answers. At least they’re getting it all out in the open, hoping that their personal experiences will shed some much needed insight.

Not surprisingly, making emotional support teddy bears was therapeutic for everyone. Since we had a lot of kits, we made extras as gifts. I made one for my sister, Hongxia made three for his niece and nephews, Sadiki for Amina, Connie for Pai, as well as the rest of the Epiphany and Harmonious Cafe crew.

While working on the teddy bears and pondering about Safiyya’s situation, I remember a conversation between Madeleine and Fontaine not too long ago. He was one of those friends who took her by the shoulders and told her flat out that he couldn’t bear to watch her drive herself to her grave. It wasn’t until she got involved with the discussions regarding Safiyya when she finally understood why Fontaine was so upset with her while she merely brushed off her near death experience like it was nothing.

How terrible it is for someone to look down on themselves so much, to see themselves as only a means to end that that they’re totally okay with sacrificing themselves over and over again like they’re disposable and insignificant. Fontaine had to watch someone close to him subject herself like that for centuries, which was why he finally snapped, so to say. Like, he literally grabbed Madeleine by the shoulders - not in an aggressive way, more like clinging to someone so they’d stay because you’re afraid of them leaving you - and made her promise to live a long, uncomplicated, and happy life.

Such a seemingly simple thing, yet at times it’s almost like asking for the impossible as there are no guarantees. She found it a bit naive, but nevertheless, she gave him her word. Maybe, she believes, if Aymn confronted her like that, being all open, and vulnerable, and honest, he’ll finally get through to her. It’ll be a difficult conversation, but a very necessary one.

For now, there’s really nothing they can do aside from trying to get through to Safiyya. Aymn feels bad for doing this behind her back, but I think he’s doing the right thing because he’s worried about her. Madeleine and Connie know from experience that having friends who are willing to intervene means that there is hope, that there is a way to work things out no matter how difficult it gets. It’s not easy, but sometimes you have to give someone a good shake before they end up self destructing and it’s too late to help them. I really hope they can get through to her.

Read on AO3

[actualbird]

got tagged by @theres-a-bea for 15 questions for 15 mutuals tag game, thanks for the tag :D

making a separate post cuz i didnt wanna make the first one too long or ping other ppl with notifs jhVKJHSVFJKSHD

1. are you named after anyone? my legal name, yeah! thanks to the baptism requirements, ive got the name of a saint. not telling u which because it's a kinda uncommon name and i dont wanna get doxxed JVJKSDF

2. when was the last time you cried? this morning, it's part of my routine to just cry in the morning so ive gotten all the pesky emotions out of the way to function mostly normally for the rest of the day jlHVKJS

3. do you have kids? do cats count? these r my two babies, bully and gato

4. do you use sarcasm much? not very much actually!

5. what sports do you play? none. in high school intramurals, i was part of the chess team and the games of the generals team. board games and Thinking is as strenuous as my physical activity gets jkhsvjfkhsvdkf

6. first thing you notice about other people? if IRL, i notice their height. if online, i notice like.....text quirks and stuff. i also like noticing what makes people laugh, cuz i like making ppl laugh and cuz 90% of why ppl keep me around is cuz im the funny guy so i gotta make sure i do my due diligence in keeping that up JKVSKJFVSDKJHF

7. eye color? dark brown

8. scary movies or happy endings? happy endings ALWAYS. i like the angst before the storm but i love a hopeful ending. and ive got a horribly low tolerance for horror JHVSKJDFVS i get....scared very easily....

9. any special talents? too many useless party tricks....i can recite all the countries of europe from memory in under 40 seconds, i can fold a paper crane behind my back or blindfolded, i can twist my right arm 360 degrees, i can make a trilling/purring noise from my throat, i can dislocate my right shoulder. these are all SO useless. but funfact! the countries of europe thing was a talent i showed off in a JOB INTERVIEW once. and then i got hired and ive been working that job for more than a year until now jkHVKJFSDFJVJ SO HEY MAYBE USELESS PARTY TRICKS HAVE THEIR UTILITY SOMETIMES!!

10. where were you born? //taps sign of i dont wanna get doxxed HAKSJFHVS

11. what are your hobbies? reading, writing, drawing, some crafts stuff when the mood hits me (crocheting, origami, making miniatures, sewing)

12. do you have any pets? YES, there were my two babies the cats. and my family is rlly into pets so this house has more animals than humans. we also have 2 labradors, 2 beagles, 1 jack russel terrier/poodle mix, and 1 turtle. it's a fuckin zoo over here

13. how tall are you? five foot one

14. fav subject in school? english!!! anything literature!!!!!!

15. dream job? man, yall got dreams? KJHVSFSKLFSDLJ. idk im a horridly ambitious-less person nowadays. as long as i get paid and im not treated like shit, im good with that

and now to tag........ @samsspambox (I KNOW TRIXIE ALREADY TAGGED U BUT UR THE FIRST WHO COMES TO MIND JFHGVKJSDH), @lukevonhagen, and uhhhh thats everybody i feel comfortable pinging HAHA. no pressure to do it, and everyone else pls feel free to yoink the meme and do it for urself :D

[fuesch]

Good news, everyone! I've finished the binge from hell (Criminal Minds).

What made it hellish was that I just could not stop. I don't know if it was also something about the show or just my out-of-control ADHD using this as an excuse to ignore my to-do list. And so this binge took under 2 months, which - FUN FACT! - is shorter than finding a doc these days to get an ADHD diagnosis from (the German healthcare system has such a good reputation, but honestly, shit's been going down the drain since before Covid - and I say that as a city dweller).

If you're wondering how my fragile mind managed to handle this non-stop input of murder and various forms of torture:

Ignore the cases or try to enjoy them as revenge fantasies.

Focus on the team and all the "Hey, I know you from this/that/everywhere!" guest stars instead.

Crochet while watching. I've made such progress, the first of my cherry-pit socks is nearly finished!

I can't believe how long it's been since I've properly watched TV: The season I'm most familiar with is 2! Since other factors hadn't come into play yet, I suspect what caused this was a deterioration in adhering to a schedule (hm, parallel with rl, so I guess due to not being bound by a rl schedule, I slowly lost the ability to keep up with the TV schedule) and my growing passionate hatred of annoying commercials which had led me to getting stuck on Nickelodeon (their ads were also annoying, iirc, but ... uh, idk, can't remember), a documentary channel and CNN (International, that is - such bearable commercials, they should be the model for all).

I liked all the women on the team, which must have been a first. I couldn't tell you a favorite, because every one of them is great in her own way. Let me point out Garcia though, for giving me back the joy of hair decorations. Huh, I thought not having NCIS's Abby in my life anymore didn't impact me, but Garcia made me realize that without Abby my encouragement was gone. Man, do I hate that I need continual encouragement to be myself! So there's another CM binge and the long-time-coming NCIS rewatch with making caps of my girls in my future. Maybe I'll make myself a motivational collage and hang it on the wall above my monitor.

Anyway, on to the team's men! *sigh* Those were mixed bag for me. I mean, nobody was really bad, but it did span the whole range of chest-thumping type (which ugh - although Morgan's relationship with Garcia remains the best thing, they were close and cute but not a thing and that's the queerplatonic shit I wanna see everywhere, fuck yeah!) to guy who's just, idk, there and the that's-my-boy guy. My boy was and still is Reid *pat pat*. And as a bonus during this binge he functioned as my Peter Maximoff substitute. He did that not only by being my fave, but for example also by having messy lightbrown hair. Which, sure, isn't Peter, but it is Evan Peters (I'd like to take this moment to thank the writers for all the Evans and Peterss they put in and the casting person for that one time we got actual EP), who usually is my PM substitute. Hmph, I didn't talk about Spence as much as I meant to, but where to even begin?

How did everyone feel about the revival? It wasn't bad, but it didn't quite feel like previous seasons. I'm not that good at finding out what is bothering me about stuff, so it might have been more things besides it feeling darker visually and too much swearing (I'm generally not against it, but after 15 seasons of it not being there, it just felt so out of place). I wasn't happy with the lack of my boy, but if there's one thing this revival did right, it was the absence of change in the meantime (except for what they put Rossi through), Reid as well as everyone else still worked at the BAU, we just didn't see him and Simmons because they were on assignment.

I kinda want to talk about ALL the things, but I wouldn't be able to remember all that I want and writing all that I do would take sooo long. So if anyone wants to talk about anything specific, I'm here.

[pickingwinkles]

I've been tagged by @highponeystoney Thanks friendo!

1. Are you named after anyone? My maternal grandfather. yep I have nothing wittier to say

2. When was the last time you cried? Hmm. Today. I watched some people watch Return of the King on youtube (because that is the way in which i have chosen to fritter away my precious little time on earth) and I cried when they cried when they realised Frodo was leaving for the undying lands. basically i will cry any time i see anyone else cry even if i don't know what they're crying about. why aren't my sentences auto-capitalising on my laptop? Must I do everything myself? I am not cool enough to have non-capitalised sentences.

3. Do you have kids? I'm just going to go ahead and copy paste @highponeystoney 's answer here. No. Nor I do I wish to have any. Never had any desire. *waves to all the busy-bodies who told me I'd change my mind when I'm older*

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? It depends who I'm with... there are plenty of people who just don't do sarcasm and I will pop it neatly aside for them. But I'm an Xennial and an Australian, it's kind of in my make-up. You didn’t survive teen-hood in the 90s without developing the skill of sarcasm. Also my sister used to call me Darlene (after the character in Roseanne) and I was obsessed with Daria. Make of that what you will.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people? Faces. General facial area. Mostly their chin or mouth because that's where I look so I can understand what they're saying

6. What's your eye color? Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrown

7. Scary movies or happy endings? Depends. I don't like jump scare horror movies, but I like to be scared. The best ones for me never show the horror and good ones of those are few and far between. I can take or leave a happy ending. I prefer a justified ending

8. Any special talents? I can play the nose flute

9. Where were you born? Melbourne baby! In Australia, not that Florida nonsense. So, just 20 minutes ago I was looking up airports and typed in MEL--you know, our airport code because we got it first because we are the best Melbourne--and Melbourne fucking Florida kept coming up first! Excuse moi! One: we are an actual state capital and two: just no. No offence to Florida Melburnians, love ya

10. What are your hobbies? *sigh* Reading, walking, crochet, doodling, playing drums, learning, painting, needle-felting, sewing, cross-stitch and aaaaaall the other things with all the supplies in all the drawers... i just like making stuff okay

11. Have any pets? My kitty cat. She cute

12. What sports do you/have you played? Sometimes I wish I still played something, or had someone to play tennis or something with. At school I played in the volleyball, (field) hockey, and soccer teams. Oh and I was a pretty good high-jumper too… until everyone else grew taller than me. In my own time I used to play tennis, played lawn bowls a few times, and sniffed around the local croquet club. And I've done a few short (5km) runs with so-called friends who made me run. Horrific. Hate running. Actually it was kinda fun running around the zoo...

13. How tall are you? I 163cm last time the doctor checked

14. Favorite subject in school? Art, English, Maths and Science

15. Dream job? Mate, if I haven't figured it out by now I never will. I don't know. The most motivated I am is doing things for other people (literally anything... false. almost anything) and faffing about making things look pretty. So something that combines those.

I was going to tag people... and I'm still too scared to tag people. Look, I am a socially anxious nightmare okay. Just, do the thing if you got down this far and you want to do the thing, yeah? And feel free to let me know if you like to be tagged to do these things, or tag me to say you did it if you like. Not that I get many but you know, if I do. I've lost track of what I'm saying. How did my battery drop down so fast? I gotta get a snack.

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here friend, hoping you had a long, relaxing, holiday weekend!! Not a big Thanksgiving person myself, but I do like sleeping in. So tell me, should i start watching The Rookie, since it's a long wait after the mid season finale. Speaking of which, I'm mentally preparing for tomorrow, by which I mean bracing myself for some nonsense cliffhanger since they've literally set nothing up for any of the characters. Maybe the previews will change my mind, at least there's an actual fire??

Hello friend! We still had some of my mom's family in town from the wedding so that made Thanksgiving nice. I'm a big fan of food (especially the kind that results in leftovers), and lazy days relaxing and being cozy so that's always nice. We had my niece again though for almost a week and whooo boy does she tire me out. I also cannot get rid of this cough so I tried to do as little as possible, and mostly binged tv while working on a new crochet craft my office mate requested for a Christmas gift for her daughter and watching my room fall even further into disarray and disaster. We also tore out our living room carpet. Needless to say I do not feel rested and ready to go back into the office tomorrow! But I did get to have several nights of staying up late and sleeping in so that's always a plus for my night person brain.

As for The Rookie, it's good! Being cop-centric it's naturally a lot of copaganda, and a lot more "finding bad people doing bad things and chasing them down" and less of the "helpful" side of first responding we see with 911, but it does have a more hopeful bent than I was expecting, and quite a few moments of "they're not bad people just regular people who made a bad choice/had bad options". I was also prepared for Owen Strand levels of "main character screentime/storylines in what should be an ensemble show" syndrome with Nathan Fillion's character but it hasn't been too bad so far. Lots of female characters and so far I've enjoyed all of them. I'm bored with Tim's current LI because I'm already on the Lucy/Tim bandwagon, but I like the character and think she's interesting and have enjoyed her scenes (QUITE refreshing), and Nolan's LI storylines are also boring to me personally like Owen's were because I just find his love life to be the least interesting thing about him and prefer his screentime when it's looped in with the police stuff because it includes more of the main characters that way. That being said, I did like his LI's so far (almost done with season 2) and they were both involved enough in the things close to his job that they were able to be involved in main storylines going on. It's been enjoyable so far! It definitely hasn't struck the same chord as early 911 did since it's naturally a little darker in nature just due to the focus of the job (being called for crimes/solving crimes vs being called for rescue), and I haven't bonded to any of the characters as much as I did with the firefam, but I do really like all of the ensemble characters. Also it's been nice seeing threads being teased and storylines leading places and trauma being addressed right away instead of being forgotten about immediately and *maybe* cropping up later if we're lucky.

Speaking of all that mess, it's interesting that from what I can see, most of the buzz around 911 right now is about what is coming in the spring. Since the show has close out Hen's arc, and we know Buck's is dragging out for awhile and Madney's stuff has happened mostly off screen or been cut entirely, what are we even looking forward to for the finale? I said in the tags on another post that at least with s5 we were hoping for a Chim and/or Maddie cameo or at least phone conversation we got to see one side of (robbed), the BT breakup (ROBBED), and Eddie's breakdown that had been teased all season (partially robbed but at least the cliffhanger didn't come out of nowhere). But this season? Pretty much ANYTHING is going to feel like it came out of nowhere unless it's the start of the Buck breakdown because nothing else has been happening consistently enough to make sense. And even a Buck breakdown is a little out of the blue since he's been excited about the sperm donor thing since his talk with Hen and the firefam finding out was treated as a joke and there was zero follow-up in 6x08, and zero follow up on the "couch" thing OR Lev's death since those happened at the start of the season. Finding an issue with his sperm or issues with the couple COULD be something but given that it looks like the spring will have an opening disaster it's likely there won't be tons of follow-up until 6x12 and if we're lucky and get hurt Buck in the spring opening, then things *should* be about that and not the follow-up on the sperm thing anyway soooo 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

There's just like....NO direction for this season. Things are happening but having no impact, even when the potential for impact is RIGHT THERE, and instead of things being sprinkled into every episode it's like, ONE episode about a thing and then nothing for weeks. Hen's arc this season has been good, but with SEVEN main characters, you can't have only ONE of them having a clear direction their story is moving across NINE episodes. I guess we'll see tomorrow but on the bright side, as you said at least there's an actual fire AND we get the firefam in yellow wildfire turnouts with the added bonus of no Lone Star filter! Silver lining.

[fuckyeahfightlock]

No scary movies this weekend! On Saturday I was half waiting around for my kiddo to watch one with me, but she was busy with friends and never showed up, which was actually fine because I literally sat on the couch crocheting and watching "I Am A Killer" on Netflick all day. The only truly scary thing that happened was that I ate a whole pizza.

Today I had a to-do list like what, and instead of parking on the sofa for a movie "just until the laundry comes out of the washer" (ie, all day, forget it, what are to-do's?) I played Hades in between tasks, as that game has the built-in feature that generally a run takes 10 - 40 minutes, then you inevitably die (even if you had a really good run you still die and have to start over), so there's a natural stopping place where you can go switch the laundry, take out the trash because yr husband is away again this week, make the grocery list/meal plan for the week, etc. (Hub being away makes me want to just have pizza or pasta every night but my children are weird and possibly not related to me, so neither of them wants pizza or pasta except on rare occasions.)

But on Friday! I watched a scary (ish) movie from O, Canada, called See For Me. A blind former world-class skier endures a home invasion while housesitting. OK I'M INTERESTED. You know I love a home invasion horror!

So, the pros. Skylar Davenport, who plays visually impaired Sophie, is a visually impaired actress! Sophie is a morally grey character (she's kind of an asshole, and she steals from the owner of the house she's minding--and we learn this is a habit of hers) which makes things more interesting. Max from Black Sails (Jessica Parker Kennedy) is in this film. Sophie's blindness is not the source of her vulnerability; she seems as capable as any teenager trapped in a house with three Very Bad Guys.

The cons. The script is a little amateurish and simple, and aside from Sophie the characters are pretty two-dimensional. It feels more like an action movie than a horror movie; there aren't a lot of scares and the tension is assumed rather than built. Sophie gets a handgun in act three, suddenly she's an action hero picking off bad guys rather than a final girl using her wits to escape.

My anecdote for this one is that I read the description and thought, great, blind girl in a home invasion, let's gooooooo. Then watched for a stupidly long time with very dark, blurry, weirdly coloured visuals. I thought at first it was a choice, to make the viewer understand Sophie's impairment, emphasize her vulnerability. But at some point, you have to think since this is a movie, that it will switch to a more traditional visual. But it didn't do that. So eventually, I started googling. No, the movie isn't Like That, it's that Roku TV sent an update the previous night that reset a bunch of stuff, including applying "Roku Smart Picture" to the picture settings on my television set, which will "automatically choose the right setting" among movie, sports, low quality (who wants that?), standard, etc. It did not choose correctly. So with some help from Reddit, I fixed my TV and started the movie from the beginning. No part of it is meant to make the viewer see things from Sophie's perspective. It's just a normal movie.

The film's title comes from an app Sophie uses called See For Me, which connects to a volunteer who, via the user's phone camera, can look around the environment and help the blind person "see." When Sophie accidentally locks herself out of the house, Kelly--a retired soldier on the other side of the country--helps her break back in. Later, when Sophie realises there is someone in the house, she connects with Kelly again to help maneuver through the house and eventually even handle and fire a handgun. It's an interesting conceit, but ultimately, the movie is just OK, and the ending is downright Hallmarky. It feels kind of Made For TV.

Worth a watch if you like a thriller and don't mind a formulaic one; it's well acted and engaging.