#first thing that comes to mind is crochet which i actually have stuff for crochet HOWEVER. i hate the feeling of knitwear

[wonpiltual]

I NEED A FUCKING HOBBY !!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[schizopositivity]

Hey, could I ask what coping skills you use to help with hallucinations and such?

I’m not diagnosed with anything yet so I’m not on any meds. And my coping skills aren’t very good.

I usually just use music and try to ignore things to the best of my ability. That helps with a lot of the more usual auditory hallucinations. Walls and floors moving are…hard. But I typically just reach out to feel them (and hope I’m not having tactile hallucinations too and don’t feel that move)

But things like feeling bugs on my skin. Or hearing disturbing things (screaming, loud extremely negative internal voices / intrusive thoughts, etc) I don’t really know how to deal with? And I was wondering you’d have any tips? The internet isn’t very helpful and I was wondering if someone else who experiences this stuff too might have some better suggestions!

Thanks!

My biggest coping skills are distracting myself from the hallucinations, and trying to ease my emotional reactions to them.

Music is great, but it can't really drown out the auditory hallucinations. In my experience listening to a YouTube video, watching a show/movie, listening to an audiobook or talking to someone is more helpful. These things require my attention, and for me to think about what I'm hearing, that way I'm not focusing on or thinking about the hallucinations.

I am a fan of the "putting your hands on the walls to feel that they are actually steady" trick. I've talked about it a long time ago on this blog, since I have experienced moving walls and floors a lot. I think it also is a very grounding experience. If you are hallucinating it can be very helpful to use a fidget toy or something else that is pleasing to touch (dry rice, sand, rocks, soft blankets, etc). It shifts your focus to something that is real, that you can feel and be comforted by.

For the other, maybe more distressing hallucinations, it can be very helpful to distract yourself. Consciously shifting your focus away from the hallucinations and onto something you enjoy. This can be a hobby like drawing or crocheting. Or something relaxing like watching your favorite TV show, or going on a walk. This won't actually stop the hallucinations themselves, but it will keep you engaged with something else, which can help you ignore the hallucinations.

In my experience, spending a lot of time focusing on and thinking about the hallucinations can make things worse (as in feel more severe, not change the amount of hallucinations). Luckily I have spent years coping with the hallucinations, to the point where now I can experience them and immediately move on, which is way less stressful for me. And that was a skill I learned after a lot of practice, and I'm glad I did. It won't be easy at first, but I do believe that it is possible to eventually ignore hallucinations to the point that they are just mildly annoying.

Also since you aren't getting treatment for the root of the issue (the hallucinations), the best thing you can do is try and treat your emotional reaction to them at home. This can be any self care activity that works for you. This will be personalized to you but it can be things like cuddling your pet, taking a bath, reading a book, applying makeup, baking your favorite sweets, making a cup of tea, calling a friend, etc. If you want more ideas you can turn to the internet but look for "self care ideas" or "ways to destress at home". Because hallucinations can be very distressing, and it's important to care for yourself during and after the experience. These things can overlap with the distraction techniques, either way it's getting your mind off of the hallucinations and onto things you enjoy.

I hope you find a way to make the hallucinations more manageable, and take care of yourself. Your comfort is the most important thing when it comes to hallucinations. It is always worth it to invest your time into self care and relaxation.

[askbensolo]

Journal Entry #57: Life Day 29ABY

I think I forgot to mention this, but Luke did send me a birthday note and one of his signature care packages. There was a mini bantha crochet plushie in it, which I named Mini-Ren.

I also have a feeling I know who made the plush.

Anyway, all that to say—I think he was trying to show that he wasn’t mad at me. And I don’t really understand why, but…I guess it’s a good thing.

Actually? Ever since Uncle Luke got in yesterday, he’s seemed kind of…depressed. And it’s weird being a grown-up, because I notice stuff like that now. I don’t think Rey has really picked up on it.

Still, I guess I’m on this council but not granted the rank of grown-up, because I overheard Mom talking to Dad in a hushed tone and I heard her mention Luke…but, when I tried to join the conversation, I got promptly kidzoned. By which I mean Mom abruptly turned to me and said “Hi, sweetie!” about an octave too high—which I knew roughly translated to “Access denied: you have not gained enough XP to unlock this conversation.”

Hm. The “your mother will permanently see you as the age you had your mental break at” phenomenon should really be studied, I think.

My cousin Lumpy (who goes by Waroo, now, but will always be Lumpy to us) brought his girlfriend home. Every year it’s a different girlfriend. And I’d make some joke about how he just can’t make ‘em stay, but…it would sound pretty ironic, coming from me, right about now.

Auntie Malla hate hate hates this girlfriend in particular, and for some reason I am her chosen confidante for these maternal judgments. Her fur is too short. Her claws are too manicured. She has not offered to help Auntie Malla in the kitchen even once, and Auntie Malla fears she will go bald if Lumpy marries this girl.

“Ya know, Auntie, with how many girls he’s brought home over the years, I don’t think Lumpy seems too interested in marriage,” I said.

Auntie Malla looked absolutely stunned—and then she said, well—Lumpy had better hurry up and propose to this girl, and if he ends up with a wife who doesn’t know her way around the kitchen, then—bah!—that’s his own punishment to bear.

I laughed and gave Auntie Malla an affectionate pat on the back.

Caught Mom and Dad in the den under the mistletoe when they thought no one was lookin’. About five years ago, I would’ve thrown something at them. But this time, I just chuckled and rolled my eyes.

Because…cheers to them, you know, for still being insane about each other, twenty-five years later. With double careers, a grown-up problem son, and an adopted teenage daughter. And still they’re suckin’ face.

I wonder how people manage to find something like that.

I closed the door on them. But—couldn’t resist calling out that I don’t want any more siblings, first.

Didn’t get the last laugh, though. Dad called back that I didn’t have to worry, ‘cause the swimmers ain’t swimming no more—and I think I oughta be entitled to financial compensation for having to hear my old man say something so unnecessary—even if I was asking for it.

Found Uncle Chewie and Uncle Luke out on the terrace. Chewie gave Luke a big hug, and then came inside as I was coming out.

“Hey, Ben,” Uncle Luke said warmly. As if everything was normal, between us.

“…Hi,” I said.

Luke said he’d heard about me and Fannie (from Fannie herself, probably), and that he was sorry about it, and he knew it must be hard.

I had my doubts about the sincerity of this statement, given he had made it sooo clear before that he thought we were better apart, but…what did any of that matter, now? I could tell he was trying to extend sympathy toward me, regardless of whatever he might thinking in the privacy of his own mind—and, you know…I found myself willing to accept that.

“Thanks,” I said.

I asked if he had spoken to Fannie recently, and he said he had. He asked if I had spoken to Amalia recently, and I said I had.

Funny, I said; maybe we oughta switch comms for a day, and then you could talk to Amalia for once, and I could talk to Fannie.

And I wasn’t expecting Luke to find that funny, but…he actually did.

Just a little.

Since we were able to break the tension, I…told him I was sorry about before. And I said more, too, but…since I already went through all of that once, you’ll have to forgive me for not going through it all again here.

I asked Luke if he was doin’ okay. And he said…oh, yeah, fine. But…I could tell there was more he wasn’t saying.

I paused, and then I asked him if he was ever gonna take a break from the school. Like—a sabbatical, or something. Since he runs it all on his own.

He said he couldn’t. Because he runs it all on his own.

I told him, well then—he should just run away and go into exile and become a hermit on a hidden island, somewhere.

And I wasn’t expecting him to find that funny.

But, he did.

Just a little.

…Or, maybe, even a little bit more.

Interesting, I thought. And I tried to press a little more, but I didn’t really get anywhere.

Hm, I thought to myself. Well. I’ll be seein’ this guy 52 times next year. I’ll get to the bottom of this or else.

But, I didn’t say that part out loud.

What I did say was, “Happy Life Day, Uncle Luke.”

And, “Happy Life Day, Ben Solo,” is what he said back.

And—“Happy Life Day, my dudes” is what I’ve got to say to you.

Cheers to the year ahead, friends.

—Ben

[dxwnfxll]

Hello *dramatic pause* it's me, your majesty. May I request whatever scp or facility staff member you want with a reader who loves crocheting, knitting, sewing and stuff like that. And the reader makes little crocheted plushies of there friends and all of them sit on there own shelf in the readers office. A little shelf that is just designated for the readers friends. Like they are well made and even have nice details like a small version of Dr. Brights necklace, a small scarf for Iceberg, Dr. Clefs doll has a matching hat with his sandals, that sort of thing.

Thank you very much, you do gods work for us.

*casually bows* of course your majesty

Enjoy scps and scp staff with a reader who loves crocheting, sewing and knitting!

(Amar replaces Shaw/Bright)

Dr. Jack Amar

-So Jack knows about your 'secret' love for crocheting, He actually *jokingly* asked for things from you all the time

-she likes collecting lil trinkets and loves giving you a 'break' to enjoy what you love

-they have a lil shelf in his office with the lil trinkets you made for him, there's all sorts of things up there

-a lil crochet turtle, a lil version of her along with the necklace, and a lil crotchet 999

-He loves having you in their office while you crotchet, she'll crack jokes about you reminding him about her grandma and needing to get you a 'rocker'

-but he still likes seeing you relax even if he really can't.

Dr Clef

-Clef used to poke fun at your lil sewing hobby, he'd always call you an 'oldie' for it

-but then you gave him a little plushie made to look like him, he didn't know what to do with it first but he liked it

-he still poked fun at your hobby but he kept the lil doll on his desk, he even called it 'mini asshole'

-recently he even started asking for sewn stuff from you, which included: a shotgun cozy, a pair of gloves, and a lil sewn doll of 166 (and he specifically asked for you to NOT tell anyone about his 166 request)

-he has all your lil sewn things around his office, he specifically has his and 166s doll sitting somewhere on his desk

Dr Glass

-Glass actually encourages you to keep up your knitting hobby, he especially encourages it inside his office.

-he doesn't know many employees who have a 'healthy' coping mech, so when he was asking about yours and yours was..well normal he was actually genuinely happy that he could finally tell someone that their coping mech was good!

-he especially loves it when you come to his office giving him lil things you made, he still has a scarf somewhere you made for him

-he proudly wears whatever you give him, like right now as he walks down the site-19 hallway with his new lil knitted hat

Dr Rights

-Rights at first didn't really care much about your Lil hobby, after all it didn't really effect her

-she'd just see you and shrug, until you gave her something one day. A lil crotchet bunny

-the thing was so adorable in her mind and she absolutely loves it

-the lil bunny you made her has a lil place on her desk, and that's the only thing she really has from you

-she doesn't really ask for anything from you, she feels you'll just make something for her whenever you want to

Iceberg

-Iceberg actually laughed at your hobby calling it 'dumb' and a 'waste of time'

-he didn't think anymore on it nor did he really care when you looked upset over him mocking your knitting hobby

-but then one day as he walked into his freezing cold office he noticed a new scarf laying on his desk.

-he didn't ask for one, nor did he order one. Where the hell did it come from??

-as he held it he could see it was knitted and he only knew one person who could knit..you.

-he wears the scarf but he reminds you daily that your hobby is still dumb (but secretly he likes it and how you thought of him, he might start asking for stuff in the future lol)

Dr Gerald

-Gerald has AWFUL bad luck, everyone knows this. So he didn't exactly trust himself around your hobby.

-especially since that hobby included yarn (which could choke him) needles (that could stab him) and you which could..uh hurt him!

-so he stayed far away from you, so far in fact he even fell down the stairs just trying to avoid you

-one day though as he just left the medical wing for the 5th time that day, you were standing outside holding something.

-he stared at you before you just kinda blocked his view of your face with the thing in your hands

-you had made him a lil 'good luck charm' of him, he calls it that but his bad luck is still there.

-he carries it around with him usually keeping it in his pocket.

Dr Kondraki

-Kondraki doesn't mind your hobby, hell everyone has their own hobby

-he doesn't mind when you sit in his office and sew away, even asking him on what you should make

-he'll usually shrug with a "i don't know..a scarf?"

-you never listen to his requests since he requests the same thing every.damn.time.

-you did make him a drink cozy though which he does like, oh! And you made him a lil 408 plush which the lil swarm like

Dr Talloran

-Tallorans life isn't all to easy, not at all.

-they actually enjoy your company especially when you bring something 'normal' to the table

-they love whenever you bring your crocheting supplies to their dorm, they also sometimes try to crotchet with you happy to do something 'normal'

-you've both actually made things for each other, you made them a lil scarf and they made you a lil messy 'blanket'

-the blanket hardly covers you so you just use it on your office chair

Draven Kondraki

-Draven has had an awful life and a busy schedule, if he isn't making sure his dad is still a functioning adult. He's on the battlefield in some unknown area to catch some unknown being

-so when he learned about your lil hobby and asked to chill with him while you knit, he almost threw you in his dorm

-He's just super happy there's someone NORMAL here (no offense to Talloran)

-he likes to sit near you as you knit and keeps anything you make him <3

Mikell Amar (dang no more gifs guys)

-Mikell doesn't mind your lil hobby, in fact he kinda enjoys it

-says you remind him of his mother whenever he see's you sitting and crocheting something

-he asks for stuff from you all the time which range from blankets to lil dolls

-he doesn't wear any of this stuff to work, but he keeps it usually either in his office or at home.

Administrator (in my own au lol)

-Admin loves gifts from all sorts of people, but sadly he usually doesn't get any since he is usually who knows where

-the time he decided to go undercover at the foundation and meet you, he adored your lil hobby

-he asks for all sorts of stuff from you, mainly to just keep you occupied as he knows you could use the distraction

-he'll usually sit next to you and have his arm drapped over you (whether you two are romantic or not, He's just a touchy person) while you crotchet away

-after his time being undercover at the Foundation is over, he'll leave but he'll make sure to take at least one of the things you made him

035

-035 sees your hobby as 'unnecessary' and even calls it boring

-he'll watch you sew away and act all dramatic about it, he'll sigh loudly, over exaggerate his voice and complain

-"are you done yet? I'm bored." "What are you making? It looks awful."

-you made him a lil hat and he hates it, especially when the other researchers laugh about it

049

-049 enjoys your company, especially since it's so friendly

-he lets you stay in his containment cell as you knit away, he even requests some things from you

-he has a lil blanket, a lil plague doctor plush and a scarf he keeps for 'when winter comes'

-He's even been wanting to learn how to knit so he can make some things for you, but it's kinda hard😅

Hope you enjoy!!

(If y'all have character requests do give em, only requests i won't take are literal animals or children lol)

[yakuzacanons]

Hey so suggestion for some hcs if you feel up for it👀 Their s/o giving them like? The sweetest cutest handmade gift for their birthday like it's nobody's business?

And it's special because they're supposed to be like "big scary men rawrrr" or smthn and people never really associated them with more wholesome stuff

Like just imagine gifting Ryuji an adorable plushie you crocheted for him and he's just like?? Holy shit??? Nobody gave me anything that special before in my life???

OMG anon, your brain...your mind. This is such a good idea. I hope you're ready for the longest and fluffiest post cuz I'm about to rip and tear. Also, first submission ever, so thank you so much! Giving you the biggest hug, hope you enjoy this.

Kazuma Kiryu

Honestly will just be stunned upon receiving it. A gift? Made by hand? For HIM?? Unbelievable. He'll feel a mix of surprised and grateful. He might not manage more than just a polite but tender "thank you", but he will immediately envelop you in the biggest hug. Words simply couldn't express how much he loves this gift and how much he loves you, so he'll let the hug say those words for him.

Majima Goro

You can bet he is going to immediately show this gift off to everyone and anyone who is willing to let him in their vicinity. Lots of "Kiryu-chaaaan, look what I got!" or "Kyodai, check this out! Ain't my darlin' just the sweetest sweetheart ya ever did see?". You'll probably feel more flustered than him in the end. He'll also pick you and spin you around with glee upon receiving it. The fact you love him makes him already feel like he's on cloud 9, so a gift like this makes him feel like he's on the moon.

Saejima Taiga

As someone who also likes to make handmade crafts as gifts, he will be totally floored upon receiving it. Will compliment your craftsmanship, even if you feel like you didn't do a great job or made mistakes. Loves the gift so much that he's likely to place it somewhere special in his house. If it's clothes, he'll wear it in front of you as much as possible to show his appreciation. Will give you a big hug and kiss after and will promise to return the favor on your next birthday.

Akiyama Shun

As someone who is NOT at all good at handmade things, he's amazed by anything you make. Even if you consider yourself an amateur, Akiyama is your number 1 fan. If possible, he'll display your gift proudly in his office. Except a flurry of kisses when he sees your gift, he just wants to shower you with kisses because he feels so completely and totally loved by you.

Tanimura Masayoshi

He's super bad at seeing surprise gifts coming so it'll come as a total shock to him. He might think he doesn't deserve something so special, as he's someone who came from very little and doesn't have much. Even so, he'll be so happy that he won't be able to contain himself. He may even jump up and down excitedly while holding your hands. He'll say something like "For me? Really?? Wow!" before giving you a kiss on the cheek, smiling from ear to ear.

Ryuji Goda

It's only fitting that the scariest looking guy is actually the biggest softie when it comes to you. The first time you ever give him a handmade gift, he might be speechless at first. He's used to fancy gifts, things that cost a lot of money, things that are usually bought to impress him. Receiving something made by the person he loves most will make his heart skip a beat. He'll likely scoop you up into his arms and give you a kiss on the forehead. Ryuji is the type of guy who is usually sweeping others off of their feet, so it feels amazing to him to feel that way for once.

Daigo Dojima

He's in a similar boat with Ryuji in that he usually gets gifts that are meant to appear costly to impress him. Secretly, Daigo yearns for genuine connection and understanding, which is why you mean so much to him and why your gift might honestly make him shed a tear or two. Something so heartfelt and loving will stop him in his tracks. As someone with barely any time to really stop and take things in due to how busy he is, moments like this make him feel the most loved. He'll treasure this gift forever.

Niskiyama Akira

He'll try to play it cool by saying something like "Aw, you didn't have to do all that just for me" but inside his heart is beating wildly. Like Daigo, he plays it tough but secretly yearns for tenderness, but unlike Daigo, he will still try to play it cool even in a moment like this. He knows you totally see through him though, so he'll eventually follow his statement up with a a passionate kiss and holding you gently. Moments like this with you give him so much peace.

Mine Yoshitaka

He's so used to standing strong on his own that he won't react for a few moments upon receiving your gift. Mine honestly didn't think he was capable of loving, yet alone being loved. It's something he still isn't used to and may never be fully used to it, but that's never stopped you from giving him your all and it gets him every single time. He may not even speak at all, simply giving you a deep but tender kiss and holding you so very close to him, as if he were afraid you'd suddenly vanish from in front of him.

Tachibana Tetsu

His immediate reaction will be to want to treat you to something nice in return. However, if you make it clear that you did this because you wanted to and because you love him, he'll practically melt with tenderness. He's so caught up with business that everything feels like a transaction to him a lot of the time. Life hasn't dealt him the kindest of cards, and this reminds him that he's not only worthy of love but deserving of it. Things like this make him relish life for all that's good. He may not manage to say much more than a hushed "Thank you" and squeezing your hand in his, but trust me, this means more to him than he could ever express.

[omophagic-beast]

for the tarot rpg ask game! The Fool, The Empress, The Hierophant, The Chariot, The Hanged Man, The Devil, The Tower, The Star, The Sun!

!!! wowow hi!! thank you for all the questions, im gonna put them under a read more as to not clog up peoples dashes

from this ask game

The Fool – What do the earliest stages of work on a game look like for you? OR How did you get into game design?

i have a notes discord server! and a channel in there specifically for game ideas. previously i had a big word document titled "game ideas", but its easier to access discord from my phone lol

usually i have an idea and i stick it in there first

heres the start of the pillars of creation :3

and then ill noodle around with it, just brainstorm and slap spaghetti around. this is another reason why i like discord for this at the moment, its informal and easy, much less daunting than a word doc

i didnt end up using most of the bits here lol

and then ill move it into a word doc once its clear that ive got an actual project / game starting to form!

the one problem with this is sometimes ill keep an idea in there for much longer than i should and it becomes a mess of me replying to myself, terrible to follow. this is the current problem with moonlight whaling, sigh

The Empress — Where do your ideas come from? OR Do you seek out or avoid inspiration while working on an idea?

a lot of places!! tumblr being one of them, sometimes ill see a post where im like "huh that could be a game in some way" and ill stick it in my notes discord for later. but really anything, books, movies, songs, other games. im not the first to say this but u gotta read / watch / experience new things to make new things

The Hierophant — Who is a fellow game designer you’ve learned a lot from? OR What is a piece of popular wisdom about games you think is nonsense?

i answered the second one here so ill answer the first!

ive learned a lot from any designer whos game ive played or read, to start. but i wanna shout out @thydungeongal on here, her posts abt game design and rollmaster / d&d are highly highly fascinating and helpful to me, as a guy who hasnt even played d&d let alone any old school stuff and just kinda jumped into the indie scene from the start.

kinda makes me wanna play rollmaster, ngl. whats it doin with all those mechanics and tables =w=

The Chariot — What is the next project you’re planning to start OR What is the next project you’re excited to finish?

this has been my big question to myself recently, what game to really focus in on next. i have games that just need to be finished, but i think my next one* is gonna be this time travel game ive been thinking of

working title is Hooked, and the reason i think im going to start (and finish) it next is cause ive already got the main mechanic figured out, where when you fail a roll you can choose to create a hook, and in doing so succeed the roll

but that hook is a place where a future you has traveled back to that point in time and given you what you needed to succeed, which means at some point youre going to have to come back and close the loop, or else risk creating a paradox

too many paradoxes and the universe explodes so like. be careful :3!

it is going to be a lot of work, i want the general aesthetic to be the journal of a time traveler, with notes from all their future and past selves scrawled in the margins in different colors. and theres the question of if its a solo game or multiplayer, or both. solo-friendly is my current thought, but encouraged for more than one person. but we'll see how it actually plays.

The Hanged Man — What other creative pursuits do you have? OR What current trends in game design are you most interested in?

someone should ask me this again cause i wanna answer the other one also :3c

but! i have a crochet project on the mind so i wanna talk abt other stuff im into also :3

im currently considering ADHD and how it could possibly relate to myself, so just keep that in mind when i say ive dipped my paws into a whoooole lot of different creative hobbies. sewing, knitting, pottery, bookbinding, needle felting, jewelry making, and yea, crochet, are all stuff ive been into at one point or another

but my favorites are crochet and cooking / baking. for most of my life i thought my career was gonna be in food service! ive been a baker, cake decorator, and diner cook before, and loved all three of those jobs.

and crochet is great mainly cause you can make stuffed animals / amigurimis >:33 i loooove little guys and being able to choose what soft yarn im gonna make em out of, though its been a minute since ive made one. but!! like i mentioned ive got a project on the mind, as im gonna try and make the "something strange and indescribable" from the Before the Flood backerkit campaign and im very excited abt it :3 stay tuned for posts abt my success or failure on this front

The Devil — What motifs or mechanics do you just keep coming back to? OR What is a game you’ve enjoyed playing in the last year?

NIGHTHAWKS by @titanrpg is really really good. it has a heart in it, one that beats at an all too-familiar rhythm. when i played it we told a story that was perhaps a touch too close to home as well, disparate sad people sitting several stools apart at a dive bar in a small town.

i have a tendency towards comedy when i play ttrpgs, but my favorite moments are all when ive been deeply serious and sad, and thats what i got from NIGHTHAWKS

The Tower — Talk about about a game you tried to make that crashed and burned.

center of the known universe was an anthology of games i wanted to make a while back, all inspired by the part of the nevadan desert i live in. i dont think its crashed and burned necessarily but i certainly never finished it and im not sure i ever will, though i still like the ideas for some of the games and may release them individually

The Star — Talk about a game you’re working on and what excites you about it.

a game ive been working on for a looong time that i dont think ive really talked abt on here is The Lady, The Tiger, and The Accused. its a descended from the queen game based on The Lady or The Tiger? short story, where (to put it very briefly) a king has created a new form of justice where the accused is put in an arena with two identical doors in front of them.

behind one door, a lady of an appropriate social standing for them to marry, behind the other a very hungry tiger. this leaves the verdict up to fate, for if the accused is innocent they will surely pick the door with the lady, and if they are guilty they will choose the door with the tiger.

but the accused in the story is also the lover of the lands princess, and when they look back at her for the last time she raises a hand and points towards one of the doors.

the question in the story is one of love. would the princess rather see her lover dead, or married to someone else?

what comes through the door, the lady or the tiger?

but! there are other characters in this story, with agency and lives of their own.

The Lady, The Tiger, and The Accused instead asks a question of trust. when The Accused looks back towards their princess, and she raises her hand, do they trust her? do they open the door that she points towards?

its a game for three players, with each person playing one of the titular characters. it uses the descended from the queen format to create the character of the princess throughout play, along with the characters of The Lady, The Tiger, and The Accused.

its a good game!! ive got a bit more work to do on it, mainly on the tiger role. not everyone is comfortable being an actual tiger and role playing scenes that involve communicating with humans or attending parties and such, it turns out.

but im really excited abt it overall :3 its good and fun and i think it uses the descended from the queen format really well and hopefully one day ill do a crowdfunding project for it and get enough money to hire a bunch of different artists to make princess illustrations for it >:333

The Sun — Talk about a game you’ve made that you’re proud of.

im proud of all of my games, in one way or another. but, with an obligatory Before the Flood mention (crowdfunding now!), im really and truly proud of my body is your body is our body is

it was my first kinda big game that i published, and there was a lot of stuff with the first edition i really wasnt super happy with. im really, really proud of myself for finally going back in this year and fixing it. its so much better now! in a lot of ways.

and i mean it was good to start with also, most of my problems were with the programming side of it. when i was making the second edition reading back through the game made me cry a bit lol. theres a lot of banger lines in there and a lot of feelings.

[capricioussun]

Sleep headcanon questions go!! Any of yours, AU or OC, not restricted to skeletons (but I'll admit the lanky bone boy is my first thought.)

Who does the 'lays down and falls asleep quickly'? Who takes half an eternity to get comfy, but once they are, they sleep easily? Who can only sleep if one specific thing is where it should be (eg a favorite stuffy or blanket, the light in the hall being on)? Who fights the insomnia by counting things, even as they reach the thousands or tens of thousands? Who needs absolute silence? Who can't sleep without noise, music or white noise? Who moves so much in their sleep that it should count for gymnastics? Who takes up the most space for their size? Who takes up the least space for their size? Who has a pre-bed ritual (warm tea or milk, a bath or some other) that gets them in the right headspace for bed? Who uses the bed as just another spot to sit, doing things like scrolling on their phone, or maybe hobbies like knitting/crochet? Who pretended to be asleep as a kid when they were checked on? Who reads in bed?

I'll try not to answer for too many for now, but if you don't mind I might keep the questions to answer for some others, too, sometime!

Who does the 'lays down and falls asleep quickly?

With the skeletons boys, usually the lower HP lot, so non-swapped Sanses and Swapped Papyri, though the Papyri usually have to be pretty exhausted. Unfortunately they also tend to just lie awake sometimes, no matter how tired they feel, but sometimes! Sleep comes quickly

Who takes half an eternity to get comfy, but once they are, they sleep easily?

Usually Rus, and a handful of other non-swapped Papyri, but usually only the non-Fell ones also. Also does not mean he stays asleep for very long. And definitely most Alphyses, regardless of what verse (she also tends to stir and shift a lot, with the exception of swapfell Alphys who sleeps like lead lol).

Who can only sleep if one specific thing is where it should be (eg a favorite stuffy or blanket, the light in the hall being on)?

Hmmm I'm gunna be a little difficult with this one. It's not so much One Specific Thing as like...vibe. And it's oddly something shared between non-swapped Fell Papyri and non-Fell swapped Papyri. If they're accustomed to a specific light being on, or sleeping on a specific pillow, or hearing a specific noise, any change in that environment can cause significant restlessness. Or in Edge's specific case it's his cat <3 He needs to know they're in his room (underground) before he can actually sleep.

Who fights the insomnia by counting things, even as they reach the thousands or tens of thousands?

I'd say any non-Fell swap Papyrus probably. The first one to jump to mind was Stretch, he’s a counter in general, of steps, hand movements when washing his hands, rotations while stirring a pot, etc etc, I'd imagine it's something mostly shared with his most similar alternates like Uno and Clover.

Who needs absolute silence?

Sooort of Haze? Haze and Patch both but it's tricky, they're both paranoid, but sleeping in quiet environments is like, the only way to get actually good sleep. But it can also trigger significant anxiety. So it's tough finding the right balance. :*(

Who can't sleep without noise, music or white noise?

Probably mostly the Papyri with the deepest psychological issues. I know that's a weird qualifier, but the way I hc any Papyrus is that they have chronic overthinker condition, which is exponentially more stressful for those that have the most repressed stuff just lingering around the corners in the hallways of their minds.

Ghost and Dusk, maybe Lace? I'd imagine total silence would be deeply unsettling for them, and really any Papyrus if they were just in a particularly stressed way.

Who moves so much in their sleep that it should count for gymnastics?

Almost exclusively the Swapped Fell Sanses. And that's mostly because they're extremely light sleepers, so they're constantly shifting and seeking new comfortable positions to snatch another little chunk of sleep before they do it again.

On the rare occasion non-Fell or Swapped Papyri can be restless, but that's pretty rare, because that usually winds up waking them and then they just get up!

Who takes up the most space for their size?

Stretch. Oh my god. He’s so scrawny but he manages to take up the entirety of whatever he’s fallen asleep on. It's frankly kind of impressive.

Who takes up the least space for their size?

Dusk I guess? For how massive he is, he tends to kinda curl up a bit, and given how thin he is, it's probably surprising how little space an almost 12ft tall skeleton can cover.

Who has a pre-bed ritual (warm tea or milk, a bath or some other) that gets them in the right headspace for bed?

Just about every Papyrus and most of the swapped Sanses! Most of the Papyri are lowkey kinda five year olds about going to bed on purpose, they put it off as much as possible (or just fall asleep whenever wherever in the Swapped Papyri's cases). But! If they know they really kinda need to, or someone else manages to strongarm them into it, it helps to do Unwinding Things, be it making tea, reading, playing video games; it helps, which is important for a group of insomniacs that bad.

The swap Sanses just generally like routine overall, so they usually have rituals for stuff they need to do daily anyways!

Who uses the bed as just another spot to sit, doing things like scrolling on their phone, or maybe hobbies like knitting/crochet?

Absolutely all of them barring Haze, Gold, and Cerulean. They are loungers, the lot of them.

Who pretended to be asleep as a kid when they were checked on?

Mostly the Sanses. The vast majority of their Caretakers weren't very strict with actually Sleeping, so the Papyri either never really had to pretend, so they didn't, or they were already out cold. The Sanses though, they've always had the most anxiety around Being Perceived, even the ones with good relationships with their caretaker. Weird, huh?

Who reads in bed?

I'd say probably a pretty random assortment of guys from all across the board! There's also a few, like Copper or Anthias, who wouldn't consider what they do reading because they're reading articles about like, science or news on their phones, but they still are reading.

The most consistent readers though are probably Edge, Sky, Eclipse, and Dusk, with Eclipse and Dusk actually kinda going together here because Clips will regularly read to Dusk since he has wonky eyesight that makes reading himself difficult at times.

[zombiechoir]

The only question i'm asking myself right now is: Did i get better at managing grief or am i fooling myself?

I know damn well what the reality is but i don't feel it. Maybe it's self protection. But when i look at him, i see a man that is not dead, not really. I see a silly man with a bass guitar that i love dearly and owe allot of my sanity to.

The thing is that i'm terrified of death bacause it comes with one of my biggest fears, which is forgetting. Forgetting what someone looked like, forgetting what they sounded like, what they did, the memories, the first day of meeting, the little things. So when someone passes (human or animal) that was dear to me, i need to pay as much attention to them as possible. Memorials, photo's, crafts, stories because forgetting feels like the biggest betrayel I could ever do.

When I read about Reita, I just got off work and I had plans that evening and I had exactly one hour to get ready. Dinner was gonna be ready in 10 minutes and to kill time I opened tumblr only to immediately see the news. I googled it cause people are trolls but it turned out to be true. So I broke down, cried while eating (that combo is painful af), made myself presentable and off we went. My mom and I had tickets to see our favorite comedian, front row. The fucking irony!!!!! While we were waiting for it to start I was reblogging memorial stuff to calm myself. I actually managed to have a good evening and even laughed out loud at the jokes. I thought of Reita plenty of times during the show, I thought of Uruha, Aoi, Kai and Ruki. I thought of 4 people on stage instead of 5. I thought of the promise I made with myself to see them live one day, to get vip tickets and crochet each of them a silly gift. It went back and forth, "hahaha funny joke" to "omfg not our beloved Reita". I've managed to hold myself together pretty well this week. I had allot of crying session, cried full on at my workplace. But my desk is facing the wall and I'm a very silent cryer so no one noticed.

Tbh that exact day I was thinking of how much I hated life. And how fucked up I've felt and how fed up I was with everything. How I feel like things will never be okay and the thought of "making a plan" crossed my mind. Reita's passing brought me back to my senses, like babygirl wtf are you doing??? It made me realize there's so much to live for still, that rude strangers aren't important. The only things that matter are the things and people I love. Reita is one of those people and it made me forget about recent shitty events and only focus on that silly man with that bass and the noseband. Maybe I'm delusional, maybe it hasn't hit me fully yet. But I can't help but feel so grateful for this man. Grateful for discovering this band, to hear that bass he provided. Grateful to be alive and to keep going. I want to live as long as possible to remember all the things I loved for as long as possible. He did that for me, in life he comforted me during my anxiety and depression. And in his death he comforted me again but in a different way. And I want to keep that feeling and take it with me♡ Thank you wonderful bass man, with your goofy and bright personality. Rest well, you won't be forgotten.

[theoutsanityshoppe]

Hello! I have a fun story about how I found your blog! I have this OC that I really really love a lot, so I got myself a custom crochet doll of him off of etsy with some christmas money. And while i was searching for which artist to go with, i came across one who was using your little fire-headed detective guy as an example and i thought it was a really cute little design! i can't remember if i did end up going with that artist or a different one but his design really stuck out in my mind because i thought it was so neat. flash forward a bit and i see a commission advertising post from cubesona, who was using that same character as an example and i'm like "oh shit it's this guy again!". and because it was tax return season i got myself that cubesona commission of the same OC i'd gotten the doll of as a little treat for myself. and then we come to recently when i saw cubesona posting the drawing of my boy on his tumblr, and of course i went looking through the tags to see what people were saying about him. and i saw you had called him pretty and it made me really happy! so i go check the post and lo and behold i see the same little firey guy in your header! and i'm like "oh shit! it's all come full circle!!" so uh yeah neither of us knew it but i've kinda been following you for a little bit it seems alsdkjf

This is the single greatest story I could have heard this morning I FREAKING LOVE THIS.

I am suuuuuuuuuuper curious now if you went with the same etsy artist cuz I LOVE her stuff - I actually have two OC's by her and I plan on getting more later! That one, the crochet of Flint, was also the first doll I ever got of him! [I have four now hahahah I keep doing the same as you and every time I have a little extra saved money left over from things I use it to treat my self with more things of my boy] Otherwise that is just CRAZY that it went full circle like that!! I'm glad I have him in my header too since I post all my art to a secondary art blog ahhaha and yes!! your OC IS pretty!!! I loved his design and I absolutely want to know more about him! The one thing I wish cubesona did differently was put actual links/tags to us instead of just typing out our usernames cuz idk if that means the person is on tumblr, on twitter, on some other site... and I don't wanna search haha XD And also!! Thank you for the compliments on Flint~!!! It makes me very happy to hear he pops out to people when they see him adkfgjag I'm extremely proud of his design. ;v; I would be lying too if I said I wasn't saving screencaps of artist who use their art of my boy in their commission examples because it makes me INSANELY proud as an artist ksfdjgakjdfg

@kingkaibosh

[gaviicreates]

Bingo Roll 3 - Chaos Chevron Scarf (Pt1)

Ignoring the fact I am also making a chevron scarf in Tunisian crochet for a gift right now, I was super excited to get this roll on my not-so- fancy excel grid and randomizer formula. Usually when I think of chevron, I think of stripes, and I have some palette packs on hand that have been waiting for that perfect project.

Just a few things to figure out: What am I making? How thick and tall do I want the stripes? And, how many colors?

My brain immediately decided scarf, so that's the first question out of the way. It's such a staple accessory, and I am of the opinion you can never have enough scarves.

I'm really enjoying the randomizer that comes from choosing each of these next projects, and I've been wanting to do a project that combines a dice roll with a corresponding color for a long time. With that in mind - why not all of the colors?

The palette pack I have has 10 colors, and I have d10s a plenty with my tabletop stuff. I'm choosing this color scheme with pink leading into red-browns, and light blues darkening into natural greens. I didn't have a project in mind when I bought this from Hobbii (Rainbow Cotton 8/4); I really just wanted to try out the cotton. So this is the perfect opportunity to dive into the pack.

The set will give me 175 yards of each color, so I am finishing out with 1,750 yards of fingering weight cotton to work with here. I won't need that much, and this should be more than enough depending on the dice rolls. I will add one rule for the dice roll - if I've used the color in the previous round, I'll be rolling again. Finally the stitch. Since the pack is already fingering weight - and the label actually is calling it a 1 weight - I feel like hdc will do just fine for balancing color changes. While I like the look of singles in striping, I think it will be too dense with the 1 weight. And honestly, it will take too long. HDC is actually my favorite base stitch too, and it gives some wonderful options for texture. I'm going to do BLO, and follow the instructions for this pattern. I whipped up a sample in the yarn I used for the amigurumi challenge, which is the same yarn as what I have in this palette. If I've done my math right, every 4 rows will be 1.5 inches, so I can expect a 66 inch scarf to be a solid 176 rows. I might take it up to 72 inches. Who knows.

I may not like math, but I LOVE data, so I of course will be keeping track of all my rolls. I'm planning to roll for 10 at a time to really break this project into sections. That'll give me the discipline too for either weaving in as I go, or at least for the every 10. I do not want to get to the end of the project and have 300+ends to weave in. Truly the stuff of nightmares

As a note - I've made up the color names just to keep myself organized.

I'm so ready to get started...[insert dice roll here!] ....Our first row will be #9!!

Crochet Bingo

[interlockingpatches]

Im gonna ramble in your inbox for a bit lmao, I have a few ideas!

What about music themed?? Like music notes, treble clef, etc (idk a lot about musical notation honestly but ik theres a lot of symbols). My next thought was instruments but usually those are super detailed, like string and brass? A Harp?? The simplest i can think is like, some piano keys would make a cute design, or maybe just the headstock of a guitar! God, brass instruments would be so intense to make, i just looked at a saxaphone and I'm freaking out thinking of the detail and how impressive that would be. Or maybe physical media like a vinyl record or a little cassette tape? A little boombox, record player, or radio?

Going off of that, I think people really like decade themed/nostalgic stuff. I love 70s things personally so i may just be projecting, but i think 80s and 90s vibes are super popular! You could look at toys, technology, icons, and popular colors of an era, things like that and that might be inspiring!

Also thinking about summer themed designs since summer is coming up! Seasonal stuff is so cute and I notice people are always looking for little seasonal projects! Surfboards, beach umbrella, a fruity lil drink, are things that come to mind for me!

The more i write the more ideas i think of but this ask is already huge lmaooo so ill leave with these and hopefully its not overwhelming

First of all I will not be out-rambled in my own house lets gooo

These are all so good and sensible and fun! Thank you so much! I spent a day and a half sketching out just some of them (and going off an a few tangents), and there are a few already that I can't wait to actually pattern up and make <3

Musical instruments and notation are both perfect and super hard for the format. They're so detailed, like you said, and their design is so specific; it's hard to know what can be fudged or elided without getting the whole thing irredeemably wrong. (I've had the same problem with birds and arthropods). Like, how many of the saxophone's fourteen-hundred eldritch appendages *do* I need to show? I could include them all, and the motif would be the size of a bedspread and take a month and a half to crochet, and I perversely want to do that now so thanks also for that.

Even in that keyboard motif (which, you'll have to trust me, is a very good likeness of Casio keyboard whose demo song was the soundtrack to my early childhood) is already over twice width of my largest typical designs, and it would have to be twice as big still for me to space the keys accurately.

Decades are a great organizing conceit! They lend themselves to a kind of idiosyncratic hodgepodge that really appeals to me, and "random collection of old things that you remember" is a trope people don't seem to ever get sick of—and new things are getting old every day. They're also a way to ease into pop culture references, which I haven't really done, and which might offset some of my Debbie-Downer tendencies (when you suggested "70s things" my actual first thought was "what do quaaludes even look like?" My first idea for the 80s was "Margaret Thatcher demolishing a council house," and my thought process for the 90s went "Monica Lewinsky's dress, OJ Simpson's gloves, Tonya Harding's crowbar… NAFTA?" Terrible patches, all. What people want as a little picture of a sofa at a jaunty angle with a caption that says "PIVOT!").

Anyway. I'm especially excited to try the disco ball, the record and the off-brand Tamagotchi (I preferred Gigapets, personally). Those all have double-length diagonals that I've freehanded a few times and know to work at least okay, but which I haven't figured out how to notate. Oh! and I haven't got a beach umbrella that I like just yet, but the hurricane cocktail seems like a good way to kick off a summer collection—as long as I don't follow it up with, like a graph of yearly average temperatures, which is something I would absolutely do.

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Making emotional support teddy bears, because why not?

Never underestimate the power of having an emotional support companion by your side when you need a little lift. Life can get rough and sometimes we have a lot weighing on our minds, so why not turn to something that can provide you comfort to help you get through the day?

This crafting session turned out to be perfect timing for the visitors who dropped by the camp before heading home after meeting up to address some heavy issues. I wasn’t at that meeting, but I am aware of the situation, and so I really hope things turn out okay in the end. It’s never easy dealing with shit that really isn’t in anyone’s control - life can be cruel like that.

Daisy Jane and I came up with the idea of making teddy bears after seeing a bunch of videos of people making emotional support chickens. I don’t know, something about emotional support chickens just caught everyone’s attention, like the kind of thing we never thought we needed and now we’re intrigued. I enjoyed watching other people film their process on making it, which turned out to be therapeutic for them too, probably because they’re trying something new and different. Plus, you’re making a cute little friend and watching them slowly come to life - how is that not amazing?

It’s a knitting pattern, which was how we came across it, though I’m honestly still on the fence on actually making one for myself. First of all, I don’t have the right yarn for it - I mean, I could make it a scrappy project like a lot of people have done, but I don’t know if I have enough and whether or not it’ll look cohesive. Don’t wanna play yarn chicken while making a chicken - haha.

Also, and probably the biggest obstacle for me, is that I’ve never made anything like this before, so I really have no idea how it’s gonna turn out. The only experience I had with making a knit animal was a fish from a long time ago, and that just involves simple increases and decreases - two pieces knit the exact same way and then seaming them together. But a chicken’s gonna be more complex than that from what it looks like, and given my experience with crochet amigurimi, I’m gonna really struggle with my stitch counts.

(I’m still haunted by my wonky six tentacled octopus…)

Anyway, instead of an emotional support chicken, we’re sewing up emotional support teddy bears. We have kits from a while ago that I’ve been meaning to use for an event…only to completely forget about them. Finally did some long overdue cleaning and found them hidden under a pile of stuff that I really need to sort through - but that’s for another time.

The kits contain everything you need, as well as detailed instructions, so it’s beginner friendly. I’m kinda rusty when it comes to making plushies, which I usually use a sewing machine for anyway, and most of the group have little to no experience with sewing in general aside from basic mending skills.

The instructions are written to cater to novices and those who are more experienced, which is why there’s a lot of pages despite it being straightforward. A little annoying to flip through, I gotta admit, but I really appreciate the detail - it’s just the format that really bothers me. They really should’ve split it into three booklets for the three levels, beginner, intermediate, and advanced so it’s easier to read. Highlighting definitely helps, or else you’d end up reading the wrong set of instructions.

Joining us in this event is quite a group - Ambrosia, Latte, Aymn, Connie, Olive, Della, Hongxia, Sadiki, and Madeleine. As for why they’re all together, it’s because they’re concerned about Safiyya. The situation in the Lunar Rainforest cannot go on much longer - Safiyya can stall all she wants, but patience is running thin on both sides. While they have managed to avoid a full on conflict, that doesn’t change the fact that there are many longstanding problems that should’ve been dealt with swiftly and decisively in the first place.

While that is a pressing issue, that’s not what this meeting really is about. To put it simply, Safiyya is not meant to be a leader. That doesn’t make her less of a person - it’s just that most people aren’t suited for that kind of position. Like personality traits - some are more emotional while others are more rational, some can work under pressure while others will crack. Safiyya does have some qualities of a capable leader, but in the words of her friends and colleagues, some of her greatest strengths are also her greatest weaknesses.

Being a leader is tough, and it’s not something I’d personally strive for. Having the option to choose to become a leader is considered a luxury to some. For people like Safiyya, Della, Hongxia, and Madeleine, they didn’t choose to become leaders, they were pretty much handed that role because they have obligations to fulfill. Of course, they’ll do their utmost to do their job, but often at the expense of their own well being.

That’s why we’re all worried about Safiyya. It’s bad enough that the Lunar Rainforest affairs are a huge source of stress for her, and now her personal life seems to be falling apart too. Ambrosia and Olive suspected that something had come between Aymn and Safiyya as they have grown distant over the past year. Shutting those close to you out and shouldering the burden only for yourself is never a good sign. Aymn tried his best to reach out to her, but I think this is just one of those things where it’s not entirely anyone’s fault, just a bunch of complicated circumstances tangled up together to create a situation where everyone loses out.

Could things have been handled differently? Yes, I believe so - to some extent. There’s really no way of knowing, so I won’t go down that route. That’s not to say that they didn’t try - I think they handled things as best as they can. It could be worse, should be better - again, there’s no use going back and forth on the past. What matters now is the present and what we can do about it.

I think Madeleine, Della, and Hongxia understand Safiyya’s struggles with being in a position that they never really wanted or felt like they deserved. It’s bad enough dealing with a lot of pressure from all around, it’s even worse when you don’t have the option to step away. I mean, you can, but then everyone will hate you for letting everyone down because your existence is basically tied to your ability to fulfill a specific role, which I know is not a good thing.

People aren’t tools, weapons, or pawns, they’re just people. Sure, some end up with more burdens and responsibilities than others due to birthright or whatever, but it’s not right to define them as their purpose and nothing else. I can’t imagine what it’s like being told since you were born that you have to be x, y, and z, and if you fail, you’re a disappointment because so many people depend on you. Even if someone can handle the pressure, it shouldn’t be something you expect from someone all the time. No one is invincible, after all. We are all prone to fail or fall short of expectations.

Hongxia and Della didn’t have much of a choice because of their families despite the fact that they have proven that they’re not meant to be leaders. Both of them actually developed severe mental health issues from running themselves to the ground - psychosomatic paralysis and substance abuse, to name a few. Like, that’s fucking serious and absolutely not acceptable. A stressful life like that can and will kill you, which was why Della’s mother finally had enough and intervened.

Safiyya may be immortal, but she is not invincible. Hongxia was able to recognize the signs of chronic overwork because Meiying hammered it on to him when he showed the exact same signs. He said he never realized how terrifying it was for those around him to see someone running themselves to the ground until finally seeing it for himself with Safiyya. The others have seen it far too many times than they’d like to admit, but it’s the kind of thing that often gets swept under the rug for various reasons.

In other words, if Della and Hongxia hadn’t fought hard to break away from their leadership positions, they will eventually work themselves to death. Della said her mother recently confessed to her that over the past year she had premonitions of her dying, which is naturally a parent’s worst nightmare. Not just from overwork or illness, murder or assassination’s another thing to worry about, especially if you’re high up there in terms of influence and politics. With one foot already in a grave, unless there’s an intervention, it won’t be long before they fall.

Hongxia said it was similar with his mother, and Meiying, Aiwen, and his sister in law, all of them putting it bluntly that he was going to wind up dead in a few years if he kept trying to shoulder all the responsibility on himself. While his brother means well and appointed him as the Xuelin for a reason, it’s just not something he wants out of life, which is why he’s been in kind of a weird position in terms of his status within the pavilion. Now that Hongxia’s on medical leave for an indefinite amount of time, that will make the rift between him and the others much more wider.

He’s got a lot to deal with too when he has to go back home, but right now his physical and mental health takes priority. Leaving home was the right choice for him as he’s no longer in a stressful environment, though that doesn’t change the fact that there are still a lot of things that need to still be addressed. Now he’s even more determined to not succeed his brother, which is a whole ‘nother issue that makes his whole situation even more complicated.

Well, the best Hongxia and everyone else can do is take it one day at a time. I don’t think it’s a good idea for him to go back anytime soon. He said so himself that he’s afraid that the second he gets home, his headaches and paralysis will return, and he’s probably right. I can’t comment on Qiangshou’s politics, but surely, they can work something out? I’m sure Hongxia’s not the only one who feels out of place in the Senlin Pavilion, though he’s probably one of the very few who not only actively fights back, but also has supporters by his side who care about his wellbeing over status and obligation.

Madeleine and Della were lucky in the sense that they were freed from the shackles that bound them for most of their lives. Della had aspirations to become an Eagle Stellaron, only to become disillusioned when she realized that the organization as a whole was corrupt. To make matters worse, her own parents were complicit, and so she was in a difficult position. There was also that whole thing with her friend being murdered by a captain who apparently had a habit of silencing those who didn’t see eye to eye with the Stellarons. If she wasn’t already so distrustful of most of her colleagues, she could have become one of his victims too.

Basically, it was a toxic environment where the people around her were actively driving her to her grave. And she was far from the only one who was a victim - there were a lot more like her who were not as fortunate. At least because of her mother’s status, Della had some sort of immunity, as in, most of her tormenters knew exactly how far to push her around without angering their superior. Sadly, most of the other Stellarons weren’t so lucky to be born to such families, and a good number of them ended up quitting or wound up dead in a matter of years.

For Della, cutting ties with the Eagle Stellarons and having a hand in their downfall was the right choice. She knew what she was doing by throwing herself into the crossfire, that she was never liked by her colleagues anyway, so being branded as a traitor is nothing compared to what they put her through. Although things have quieted down, she still has to be on her guard. Nothing too serious has happened, but she’s had some close calls with former acquaintances who failed to get a rise out of her. That’s just something she’ll have to deal with for possibly the rest of her life. The way she sees it, that’s a small price to pay for her freedom.

Madeleine was essentially created as a pawn and yet she willingly let herself be used that way because of her strong sense of justice. While she has no regrets for many of her actions, she does resent her loss of freedom and autonomy over the past few centuries, which really took a toll on her. If Connie and Fontaine hadn’t intervened with fate and essentially pushed things along, she’d probably lose herself completely with all the deception she had to put up with.

Just because she was willing to get blood on her hands doesn’t mean she’s okay with it, but sometimes you have to take an impartial and somewhat cold stance in order to get shit done, even if it makes you an enemy to some. As much as she wishes she could be an idealist like Safiyya, to try to find a way to work things out so everyone wins and no one ever gets hurt, Madeleine knows that it’s just simply impossible. Not everyone is willing to make sacrifices for the greater good.

Sometimes you have to be the bad guy, the cynic, the traitor, or whatever. Sometimes you have to play dirty, burn a few bridges along the way, manipulate the general public so they see things in your favor. I’m not saying that I necessarily approve of that, but there are times when you have to do the hard thing if you want to see certain results.

Most of the time, it’s not personal, it’s just someone doing their job, so I think when personal feelings gets involved, that muddies everything up. That’s probably why Safiyya and Madeleine felt the need to isolate themselves to avoid dealing with complicated feelings. I get why they feel the need to distance themselves and shoulder their burdens alone, but that doesn’t mean they should, not if they keep sacrificing themselves for the greater good.

It’s understandable why Madeleine doesn’t want Safiyya to go down the same road she did. Like her, Safiyya was created for a purpose and ended up with a lot more burdens than she bargained before thanks to unseen circumstances such as her predecessor’s death. However, unlike Madeleine and Nahla - who came to her position in a similar way - Safiyya was completely unprepared, which probably explains her hesitancy and avoidance for any sort of conflict.

Between the three, Nahla has proven to be a capable leader after successfully regaining control of Dharma when it fell to the wayside. The events of Adrikha were somewhat similar to the first rebellion in the Lunar Rainforest, the obvious differences being that Nahla’s faction succeeded where Safiyya’s failed in their approach not only to restore order but also maintain peace. Another major difference is that Nahla was more ambitious and driven, not by power, but because of her sense of duty and obligation driven by the fact that no one but her can do the job that was rightfully hers.

While it might seem like the best option, having Safiyya step down will create even more problems. Aymn’s probably the best choice as her successor but he considers himself an ill fit for such a role for various reasons - one being that he’s a mortal human. Although he’s well respected among his peers, there’s many who still see him as an outsider since that’s what he is to those whose families lived in the Lunar Rainforest for generations. There’s also the complicated on and off relationship between them, which most of them had already suspected, though that’s an entirely different issue.

So, it’s a lot to deal with and no one has any answers. At least they’re getting it all out in the open, hoping that their personal experiences will shed some much needed insight.

Not surprisingly, making emotional support teddy bears was therapeutic for everyone. Since we had a lot of kits, we made extras as gifts. I made one for my sister, Hongxia made three for his niece and nephews, Sadiki for Amina, Connie for Pai, as well as the rest of the Epiphany and Harmonious Cafe crew.

While working on the teddy bears and pondering about Safiyya’s situation, I remember a conversation between Madeleine and Fontaine not too long ago. He was one of those friends who took her by the shoulders and told her flat out that he couldn’t bear to watch her drive herself to her grave. It wasn’t until she got involved with the discussions regarding Safiyya when she finally understood why Fontaine was so upset with her while she merely brushed off her near death experience like it was nothing.

How terrible it is for someone to look down on themselves so much, to see themselves as only a means to end that that they’re totally okay with sacrificing themselves over and over again like they’re disposable and insignificant. Fontaine had to watch someone close to him subject herself like that for centuries, which was why he finally snapped, so to say. Like, he literally grabbed Madeleine by the shoulders - not in an aggressive way, more like clinging to someone so they’d stay because you’re afraid of them leaving you - and made her promise to live a long, uncomplicated, and happy life.

Such a seemingly simple thing, yet at times it’s almost like asking for the impossible as there are no guarantees. She found it a bit naive, but nevertheless, she gave him her word. Maybe, she believes, if Aymn confronted her like that, being all open, and vulnerable, and honest, he’ll finally get through to her. It’ll be a difficult conversation, but a very necessary one.

For now, there’s really nothing they can do aside from trying to get through to Safiyya. Aymn feels bad for doing this behind her back, but I think he’s doing the right thing because he’s worried about her. Madeleine and Connie know from experience that having friends who are willing to intervene means that there is hope, that there is a way to work things out no matter how difficult it gets. It’s not easy, but sometimes you have to give someone a good shake before they end up self destructing and it’s too late to help them. I really hope they can get through to her.

Read on AO3

[actualbird]

got tagged by @theres-a-bea for 15 questions for 15 mutuals tag game, thanks for the tag :D

making a separate post cuz i didnt wanna make the first one too long or ping other ppl with notifs jhVKJHSVFJKSHD

1. are you named after anyone? my legal name, yeah! thanks to the baptism requirements, ive got the name of a saint. not telling u which because it's a kinda uncommon name and i dont wanna get doxxed JVJKSDF

2. when was the last time you cried? this morning, it's part of my routine to just cry in the morning so ive gotten all the pesky emotions out of the way to function mostly normally for the rest of the day jlHVKJS

3. do you have kids? do cats count? these r my two babies, bully and gato

4. do you use sarcasm much? not very much actually!

5. what sports do you play? none. in high school intramurals, i was part of the chess team and the games of the generals team. board games and Thinking is as strenuous as my physical activity gets jkhsvjfkhsvdkf

6. first thing you notice about other people? if IRL, i notice their height. if online, i notice like.....text quirks and stuff. i also like noticing what makes people laugh, cuz i like making ppl laugh and cuz 90% of why ppl keep me around is cuz im the funny guy so i gotta make sure i do my due diligence in keeping that up JKVSKJFVSDKJHF

7. eye color? dark brown

8. scary movies or happy endings? happy endings ALWAYS. i like the angst before the storm but i love a hopeful ending. and ive got a horribly low tolerance for horror JHVSKJDFVS i get....scared very easily....

9. any special talents? too many useless party tricks....i can recite all the countries of europe from memory in under 40 seconds, i can fold a paper crane behind my back or blindfolded, i can twist my right arm 360 degrees, i can make a trilling/purring noise from my throat, i can dislocate my right shoulder. these are all SO useless. but funfact! the countries of europe thing was a talent i showed off in a JOB INTERVIEW once. and then i got hired and ive been working that job for more than a year until now jkHVKJFSDFJVJ SO HEY MAYBE USELESS PARTY TRICKS HAVE THEIR UTILITY SOMETIMES!!

10. where were you born? //taps sign of i dont wanna get doxxed HAKSJFHVS

11. what are your hobbies? reading, writing, drawing, some crafts stuff when the mood hits me (crocheting, origami, making miniatures, sewing)

12. do you have any pets? YES, there were my two babies the cats. and my family is rlly into pets so this house has more animals than humans. we also have 2 labradors, 2 beagles, 1 jack russel terrier/poodle mix, and 1 turtle. it's a fuckin zoo over here

13. how tall are you? five foot one

14. fav subject in school? english!!! anything literature!!!!!!

15. dream job? man, yall got dreams? KJHVSFSKLFSDLJ. idk im a horridly ambitious-less person nowadays. as long as i get paid and im not treated like shit, im good with that

and now to tag........ @samsspambox (I KNOW TRIXIE ALREADY TAGGED U BUT UR THE FIRST WHO COMES TO MIND JFHGVKJSDH), @lukevonhagen, and uhhhh thats everybody i feel comfortable pinging HAHA. no pressure to do it, and everyone else pls feel free to yoink the meme and do it for urself :D

[dreamcrush]

3 + 5 + 14 for enstarries ^_^ - mollys

3. What was your favorite song to preform? Is it your favorite song now? Do you remember preforming it?

as izumi it’s absolutely fight for judge. that song has so much meaning to me, i made the choreography, i think it really shows us off so well as a unit and lets us shine. it’s an absolutely incredible song, and it’s one of my all time favorites now too because of how strong my connections are to it, and because it’s good. a close runner up is article of faith. as mika, my favorite is probably “tonight in this moonlit mansion” and is also one of my favorites to listen to now!! but i love singing that song, i love the lyrics, i love the back breaking choreography, it’s sooo much fun - 🏹

For Shu, it was definitely Le Temps des Fleurs and it still is my all time favorite Enstars song at the moment. It was something very emotional for me to preform and it still gets me really bad now too. I remember everything surrounding it rather vividly and I'm just glad to bring joy to my grandparent as well as my family. - 🪽

5. Is there anyway your timeline differed from source? It could be a small or big thing.

i have a lot of timelines that differ from source in different ways! for example, i have a hokuto (es) canon where i was the prince of a kingdom, a natsume (es) canon where i was in trickstar instead of switch, an izumi (es) canon where yumenosaki was not an idol school and instead most people attending were animal hybrids for some reason, but my most glaring is my mika canon since it's not very canon compliant even though it's my primary timeline for him. maybe it's too much to get into here though.. - 🏹

The first one that comes to mind is Mao! I had a canon where I was in Knights and had a... lot more issues than I let on in the main canon timeline! I had serious attachment and personality disorders that just got worse after I lost my friends for the most part and something I cared a lot about. And with the stress of being in Knights too it just made things really hard for me. - 🪽

14. Did you have any hobbies? Skills? Do they carry over to current day?

as both mika and izumi i did a lot of craftsy sorts of things, especially sewing or knitting and stuff having to do with clothes. i really want to learn stuff like knitting and crochet now and i would love love love to be able to make like little plushies and stuff from it i think that's my dream... i have the stuff to do so but just not the time right now... or as natsume i had a lot of interest in divination which carries over to now to an extent as well since i really love working with my tarot cards. as him and as jun as well i was really into video games, as mika i was really into manga and stuff especially horror, as koga i had a huge interest in music which is a big spin for me now too. i think i’ve got a fair few connections - 🏹

I can't think of a lot that have carried over to now? As Shu, I was very into sewing and also I did do painting on the side? I do find painting now to be very comforting despite not getting to often? I think the most prominent is Mao because I did actually like playing video games as Mao and that's something I do a lot now- not really the sports side of it all because that was my main hobby. I loved basketball a lot but also other sports were really fun for me. - 🪽

[radiantlyrey]

I never do stuff like this, but @bowiesinspace did this neat little questionnaire, so I thought I'd give it a shot, too.

Are you named after anyone? Yes! I was named after a beloved great-aunt of my mother's. It is a unique spelling of a semi-common name, so I'm not tellin' it here. As for my internet name (Skye, short for Skye_Writer or SkyeWriter30 or whatever), I chose that myself because I like puns.

When was the last time you cried? I almost cried yesterday thinking about something that I can't remember now. It was either a movie or tv episode, or maybe a book? Maybe? I cry at the slightest provocation, at least when it comes to media, so yeah.

Do you have any kids? Nope! And very happy that way. My siblings both have kids, though, and I very much love those kiddos, but I do not ever want any of my own.

What sports do you play/have you played? I played girls' softball when I was ten or eleven and it was against my will.

Do you use sarcasm? Yes. Constantly. It is my conversational bread and butter.

What's the first thing you notice about people? Usually? Their hair or clothes. Things that make them identifiable, stuff like that.

What's your eye color? Dark brown. (Though in more direct light they look kind of amber-golden, which I love.)

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings all the way! I am not a huge fan of downer endings, or endings that are bleak for bleakness' sake. I don't mind an ambiguous ending (like say, Inception), but I much prefer happy endings, or at least happy-for-now endings.

Any talents? Not really? I guess? I don't know. I'm good at picking up new crafts and such, I guess. I don't know. I'm so bad at actually looking at myself objectively. Sigh.

Where were you born? Long Beach, California. I'm only telling you this because I live nowhere near Long Beach, California anymore.

What are your hobbies? Writing and reading, mostly. I also enjoy cozy-type video games (also Pokemon) (basically just any kind of game where you don't have to fight things, or if you do, the fights don't require good reflexes). I crochet a lot, too; I'm currently making an amigurumi dragon and having fun with it. I also enjoy doing puzzles, and I keep meaning to pick up my ukulele or ocarina and get better with those.

Do you have any pets? Yes! We have a 2-year-old dog who's extremely rambunctious, and then four cats. I love them all, tho one of the cats is sometimes a jerk.

How tall are you? About 5'7" or 5'8" (so around 1m70cm or so??). Middling tall is I guess how you'd describe it.

Favorite subject in school? English, a thousand times over. Runners-up include Chemistry (which I took two courses on in uni), and Math (I took Calculus for fun in uni). Also I really enjoyed the Film classes I took for my Film Studies minor in university.

Dream job? In an ideal world where I was not actively hindered by my own brain, I would be a published author or something. But honestly, I'd settle for something simple enough that I wouldn't stress about it (anxiety is a lame-ass BITCH), that I could also sit down while doing (back pain? ALSO a lame-ass bitch).

Not tagging anybody bc that ain't my style. Enjoy this unprecedented look behind the curtain!! *swishes cape and dives offstage*

[crow-hoards-things]

THE SNAIL EPISODE IS AMAZING!! I saw multiple perspectives of that one and it’s one of my favorite Wild Cards from the season! Let me know when you get to Wild Life!! I’d love to talk about the Wild Cards and all the shenanigans :D

I hear you with Hermitcraft. I tried playing the catch-up game with my introductory Hermit, Grian, but he started on Season 6 and I went mmmm… nah. But honestly? You don’t have to have watched all the other seasons of Hermitcraft to watch season 10. There’s no lore other than tiny little tidbits from the creators, or what the fandom has come up with, and it’s a new world every season, so you don’t have to know what happened last time. So, no pressure, but if you want to get into Hermitcraft, my recommendation would be to watch the first Season 10 episode of a couple different hermits you already think you like (Grian, Mumbo, Scar, and Skizz are all hermits as of season 10. Skizz just joined this season, but Grian and Mumbo and Scar all joined in seasons 6, 2, and 4 respectively! They add new people as seasons go on) and then decide who you vibe with best from there. They’ve all been interacting a lot this season (apparently more than they used to according to a lot of the fans?) so you’ll get to meet a lot of the other hermits this way! That’s how I figured out I really enjoy Scar’s content, since he “bothers” Tango a lot during streams and stuff. Sorry, that was longer than I intended it to be XD

Grian is such a good POV! I’ve watched a few of his from earlier seasons, and a maybe about half of his Wild Life episodes. Ooh, that’s a fun idea!! Also, YES!! All four of them are super funny! (YES DESERT DUO!!! I love Desert Duo. They bother each other over on Hermitcraft as well and it’s great. Scar’s POV is my current main for Third Life right now because of them, actually! But I’ll definitely put Grian’s POV of it on my list!)

Tango is so good!!! Definitely worth the watch! He’s also my main Hermit over on Hermitcraft! He’s said himself that PvP is not his speciality, so if you’re more pvp oriented he’s probably not gonna be a good fit, but if you’re just here to have a good time and laugh, he has a great sense of humor and a couple of vocabulary quirks that are super enjoyable! And with all the teams I’ve seen him in (I just remembered I’ve also seen some of his Double Life episodes, so half of Secret Life, half of Double Life, and all of Wild Life) he bounces really well off of whoever he’s with. (He’s also really smart. Like mind-boggling smart. He’s built legit playable games multiple times across different seasons of Hermitcraft.) Funny thing is that aside from Grian, he’s the only hermit/lifer I didn’t find through another hermit/lifer. I found him through an animatic of him explaining binary because he was using it via redstone for a factory he’s making/made over on Hermitcraft.

Oh man, I could go on and on about the Hermits/Lifers I actively follow XD They’re all really fun in their own ways! Plus a decent amount of the people I follow stream (Tango, Skizz, Impulse, and Scar all stream on Twitch, and Jimmy’s on YouTube), so it’s easy for me to put a stream on while I’m playing a game or drawing or crocheting. Honestly that’s how I get most of my Hermitcraft content right now XD I love watching episodes for both series, but streams in the background are more conducive to my current schedule.

Sorry for talking you ear off a bit there. I don’t really have many people to talk to about Hermitcraft/Lifers Series stuff XD I’m so excited for you!! The Life Series is so good!!! And after putting a couple filters on to weed out shipping content, the fandom has been pretty chill, which is also nice :)

Keep me posted on how things are going with your watch through! (If you want to :) )

Hi crow!!!!

I know you’ve watched the Wild Life series (assuming you’ve seen the other seasons as well?) and I am here to inform you

I HAVE STARTED WATCHING LIFE SERIES!!!

So far I’m on the second season (Last life) and I would like to ask your thoughts on life series as a whole (no spoilers plz) and potentially also on the first season? Oh and which perspective you watch?

Hi Moo!!! To be honest? I got into Hermitcraft and the Life Series a couple weeks before Wild Life came out, so I’ve only seen Wild life and then half of Secret Life and a couple episodes of Third Life. I’m working my way through them though!

YES!!!! THE LIFE SERIES IS SO MUCH FUN!!!!

So, like I said, I haven’t gotten all the way through yet because I just jumped in on the newest season, so I can’t really speak much about the series as a whole? Like I know of bits and pieces of things that happen during the other seasons, but not enough to talk about them really. As far as Third Life goes, I’ve seen three episodes but they’re all the first episodes of three different people XD. That said, those’ll probably be the people I watch for the rest of Third Life.

I have a rotation that I watch depending on how much time I’ve got. I like Grian, Scar, Mumbo, Skizz, and Jimmy, but my favorite is Tango. If I only have time for one POV, I watch Tango’s. Scar is second on my list. I highly recommend both of them! You’ll get pretty different flavors of content while also being oddly similar.

Who have you been watching, Moo? :)