#and it ends up being with it to stick around for that

[persevereforahappyending]

This isn't Your Fault (Rescue)

Pairing: Tara Carpenter x Reader

Summary: During your distracted state Tara took the opportunity to wiggle her arm out of your grasp and began marching down the alley.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3k+

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

You and Tara walked down the streets of New York to her apartment. You had finished your classes for the semester and were finally on break. It wasn’t often you and Tara truly got to be alone to go out and do something, Sam or your mom were always wanting someone to be around. It was almost a year later when they finally decided to let up and let you and Tara live normal lives again, after a lot of begging from Tara. You personally didn’t mind, you didn’t like to go out anyway, though being able to go over to Tara’s or back to your house without an escort would have been nice.

The two of you had just grabbed dinner at one of your favorite restaurants, and you had your arms wrapped around each other as you walked down the street. You were passing an alley way when you heard something fall. You and Tara both turned, squinting your eyes to see what made the noise but saw nothing. Tara started to pull away from you and move towards the dark alley.

“Didn’t you hear that?” She asked, when you quickly pulled her back to your side.

“Yeah,” you said, looking at her like she had grown two heads. “Which is why I’m stopping you from going down a dark and creepy alley.”

Tara rolled her eyes. “You’re being ridiculous.”

Your eyes widened and you couldn’t help but stare at Tara. Until you were attacked yourself and no longer had to keep your relationship a secret did you truly understand where Sam was coming from. You’d admit Sam was just a bit overprotective, but you also couldn’t deny that with a sister like Tara, her overprotectiveness was warranted. Tara very well knew the dangers of the world and of her life in particular, just because Ghostface was gone didn’t mean there weren’t still the random crazy’s that tried to go after and threaten her and Sam.

During your distracted state Tara took the opportunity to wiggle her arm out of your grasp and began marching down the alley. You snapped out of it almost as soon as Tara was out of your hands and without giving it a second thought you took off after her. You really hoped it was nothing and you wouldn’t have to make Tara feel guilty for the rest of her life if the two of you got murdered.

“Tara,” you whispered. You ran up next to her, sticking close to her side, for her protection, definitely not because you were scared.

The two of you froze when you heard more rattling. It sounded like someone had bumped a garbage can or was riffling around in one. You were seriously hoping you’d find some homeless man digging through trash or a worker from one of the nearby restaurants taking out the trash for the night. Those were the best-case scenarios you could come up with because anything else led to one or both of your deaths.

“Over here,” Tara whispered, seeming to not have heard you, or she was ignoring you. She grabbed your arm and began dragging you towards the trash bins against a brick wall.

You groaned but followed along. One of the trash cans was knocked over, the lid on the ground next to it. You furrowed your brow, there wasn’t anyone near it, and the alley was a dead end so it wasn’t like the person could have run away. There wasn’t anywhere for someone to hide either, unless they were rather small. There was an old pallet propped up against the brick wall and a blue tarp that had been dirtied from the rain and usual alley gunk draped partially over the pallet.

Something shuffled, moving the tarp and making you take a step back. Tara wasn’t deterred though. Tara pressed forward and crouched down, getting halfway under the tarp.

“Wh-what are you doing?” you whispered, your voice going even higher. “Get out of there,” you moved forward and began to puller her back by her waist. Tara waved her arm back, knocking your hands off her. “Tara,” you whispered harshly.

You let out a silent groan and kicked at the pavement. Even if you didn’t die in the alley, you would certainly die if anything happened to Tara. Sam would probably even murder you herself, you being her new favorite person wouldn’t even be able to save you if something happened to Tara while you were with her.

Tara finally backed up out of the tarp and you couldn’t help but let out a sigh, she didn’t get murdered in front of you, but now she was going to have to survive you. “What the hell were you thinking?” you asked, your voice no longer a whisper. “Who goes down a dark alley in the middle of night!” you gestured at your surroundings. “Who goes under a tarp after a strange noise?” you gestured at the tarp. “Seriously, babe, I…” your words quickly died when Tara turned around and in her arms was a tiny kitten.

You were sure you were making heart eyes at the little guy, and you couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face. “You were saying?” Tara said, raising an eyebrow.

You reached out and scratched under the kitten’s chin with your finger. He was definitely black but if he had any other markings or colors you couldn’t tell, his fur was caked in mud and who knew what else from the alley.

Your head snapped up as if suddenly remembering where you were. “You still brought us down a creepy alley,” you said, taking your finger away from the kitten to point at Tara.

“Here,” she said, shoving the kitten into your arms. You didn’t have time process what was happening as you instinctively reached out, taking the kitten in your arms. “Put him in your jacket.”

You looked down at the little guy in your arms with a frown, you could smell him from where he was. You looked up to see Tara glaring at you. You grumbled and stuck the little guy in your jacket, making sure to keep an arm around him so he was secure and warm.

Tara began walking off back out of the alley finally. You ran to catch up, adjusting the kitten as he squirmed in your hold. “Sam’s not going to be happy,” you said as you fell into step beside her.

“She said I could have a pet,” Tara said with a wave of her hand.

“She said she’d think about it.”

Tara continued facing forward as she rolled her eyes. “It’s basically the same thing,” she waved it off again. “Who cares.”

You let out a shaky breath and continued to follow after Tara. Sam was definitely going to care, and she would be the first to point out that she never officially agreed to it. You weren’t about to try arguing with Tara though and there was no way you’d be leaving the little guy in your arms on the streets now that you’ve rescued him.

When the three of you finally got back to Tara’s apartment, she opened the door as quietly as possible and peeked her head in. “Sam!” she called. “Sam?” you strained your ears, trying to listen for any sign of movement inside. “She’s still at work,” Tara whispered back to you and pushed the door open fully.

You followed Tara into the apartment and instantly took the kitten to the bathroom. You plopped the little guy down in the sink and shrugged off your jacket that you were now definitely going to have to wash. Tara came back in with a washcloth and some hand soap.

“We can’t use that,” you said, nodding at the soap. “Kittens are too sensitive. We either need kitten specific or fragrance-free dish soap.”

Tara raised an eyebrow at you, and you just shrugged. She took the hand soap back and came back a moment later with the correct dish soap. “It’s not a permanent method,” you said as you wet the washcloth a bit before adding a drop of the soap. “But it will clean the little guy up for now.”

“We’ll get you all the proper stuff tomorrow,” Tara said in a baby voice as she scratched the kitten behind his ear.

You raised an eyebrow at her but didn’t say anything. You weren’t sure how she intended to hide the kitten from Sam and also buy it stuff before telling her sister anything. You kept your mouth shut though and got to work cleaning off the little guy. You smiled as you wiped all the gunk off him, making sure to avoid his eyes. The kitten behaved well enough, hardly ever meowing or trying to run away, but you were sure he was just terrified and had no idea what was going on.

“There we go,” you whispered as you finished up. You finished dabbing him with a wet corner of the cloth, making sure to get out all the soap.

Tara shoved you aside when you were done and held him up high as if he were Simba from Lion King. When you got full view of him all cleaned up you saw he was all black and very fuzzy. Little tufts of fur stuck off the tops of his ears, making them look too big for his little head.

“Tara!” Sam called out, making both you and Tara freeze. “I’m home!”

Tara shoved the kitten into your arms and cracked open the bathroom door to peek her head out. “I’m going to distract her,” she whispered back to you.

“Wait, what?” you whispered but Tara was already opening the door. “No, wait, what am I supposed to do with this?” you looked down at the kitten in your hands.

You inched your way closer to the door and tried listening as Tara attempted to stall Sam. You let out a sigh and looked down at the kitten, shaking your head as Tara kept asking questions about Sam’s day. You loved her dearly, but your girlfriend sucked at stalling, if she wanted to make Sam suspicious though then she was doing a fantastic job. You were surprised at times that the two of you kept your relationship secret for so long because of how terrible Tara was at keeping stuff from Sam.

You knew you couldn’t stay in the bathroom all night, so you looked down, you silently apologized to the kitten before shoving him in the pocket of your hoodie. You were lucky he was small enough, he fit perfectly, now you just had to make it to Tara’s room without drawing suspicion. As soon as you opened the bathroom door a little more you heard a meow and looked down to see the kitten sticking his head out of one side of your pocket. You brought a finger to your lips to hush him, as if he could understand you. You put one hand in the pocket to keep it on the kitten, hopefully keeping him in place and quiet for the next thirty seconds.

Almost as soon as you stepped out of the bathroom you were seen by Sam and being called over to join her and Tara. Your eyes widened and you flicked a glance at Tara to see her with the same expression. You swallowed nervously before making your way across the kitchen.

“You joining us for dinner?” Sam asked.

“Sure,” you said. You smiled and hoped it would help cover your anxiety of the kitten moving around in your pocket.

“Assume you’re staying the night as well.” Sam’s back was to you as she opened the box for the frozen pizza, she was getting ready to throw in the oven.

“If you don’t mind.” Sam never minded when you stayed the night anymore, most times she insisted, especially when it was late like it was now. You still always felt the need to ask, you never wanted to seem rude or just assume it was okay for you to stay the night if Sam ever happened to not want you there for some reason.

“Of course,” Sam shrugged like she always did.

Sam put the pizza on the stone and then slid it into the oven. She set the timer and then turned around, leaning against the counter as her eyes flicked from you to Tara. You tightened your grip on the kitten that was trying to escape your pocket. Sam hadn’t looked down to see your sweatshirt moving yet but she narrowed her eyes as she glanced from you to Tara and back.

“What’s going on?” she asked cautiously.

“Nothing,” you and Tara said at the same time. You internally smacked yourself, that was the opposite of not seeming suspicious.

Sam opened her mouth but quickly shut it when a meow echoed through out the room. Your eyes widened and you didn’t even react as Sam glanced around the room. “What was that?”

“Nothing,” Tara said unconvincingly.

Sam narrowed her eyes at her sister, then she whipped her head back around, looking directly at your pocket. You looked down to see the kitten once again sticking his head out. You sighed and took him out the rest of the way since you were officially caught.

“No,” Sam sighed. “No pets,” she looked at Tara.

“You said I could get one,” Tara instantly said, pointing at finger at Sam.

“I said maybe,” Sam raised a finger.

You shot Tara a ‘I told you so’ look which she promptly ignored. “Come on,” Tara begged. “He was on the street,” she gestured at the kitten in your arms. “You really want us to throw him back out there?” she looked up at Sam, blinking with her best puppy dog eyes.

Sam looked at the kitten in your hands as you stepped closer. She narrowed her eyes as the little guy looked up at her, letting out another meow. “He’s a survivor,” Tara continued. “Like us.” You and Sam both gave Tara a sideway glance, she seemed to really be pushing hard to keep the kitten, grasping at whatever straws she could.

Sam looked at the kitten again and sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. “You have to take care of him,” she said.

“Yes!” Tara squealed, not letting Sam finish before she started jumping up and down and running to hug her sister.

“And make sure he doesn’t have fleas,” she pointed at Tara.

Tara nodded. “Of course! We’ll go to the pet store first thing in the morning!”

Sam narrowed her eyes as she stared at Tara for another second before finally nodding, seeming to accept Tara’s answer. Tara grabbed the kitten out of your hands and took off with him into the living room. You gave Sam a grateful smile before following after Tara.

“What should we name you?” she asked, staring at the kitten with a furrowed brow as she concentrated very hard.

“How about Perseus?” you suggested, dropping down next to Tara.

She furrowed her brow as she looked at you. “Greek mythology, really?” she wrinkled her nose.

“He’s a hero!” you defended, frowning at her reaction. “Slayed Medusa.”

“Anything else?”

You glance at the kitten then at Tara. “Joel…” you quickly glanced at the floor, suddenly finding it very interesting.

“The Last of us?” Tara frowned as she glared at you once again. “Really?”

You shrugged and threw your hands up in defeat. “Well, what do you got?”

“Midnight,” she smiled proudly at her option.

You scoffed and gave Tara your own glare. “That’s so basic.”

“I found him, I should get to name him,” she narrowed her eyes at you.

“You found him after dragging me down a dark alley.”

“What?” Sam’s frantic voice came from the kitchen.

“I should get some say,” you continued.

Tara narrowed her eyes, not even acknowledging her sister. “Fine,” she grumbled. “What else you got?”

You tapped a finger on your chin as you looked at the kitten, trying to figure out what name best fit him. “What if we go Marvel?” you asked. “He’s a fighter,” you scratched under his chin, smiling as he lifted his head to give you more access and started purring. “How about Steve?”

Tara bobbed her head back and forth as she considered the name. “Maybe,” she said, still deep in thought.

You smiled, at least it wasn’t a no, the two of you were one step closer. Tara held the kitten up again, tilting her head back and forth as she observed him. You looked at Tara and then the kitten before your eyes widened and you shot to your feet.

“I got it!” you said, a wide smile on your face. Tara raised an eyebrow as she awaited your idea. “Kovu!”

Tara’s eyes lit up as she also jumped to her feet. “Perfect!” she said. She leaned forward and captured your lips, catching you slightly off guard. You barely had time to reciprocate before she was pulling away. “How is it possibly to love you even more,” she whispered against your lips before going in for another kiss, this time you were prepared.

The two of you didn’t pull away until you felt the kitten wiggling between the two of you. You broke the kiss and looked down to see little Kovu was getting squished between the two of you. You both chuckled before dropping back down on to the couch.

Once the pizza was done Sam brought out a plate for you and Tara. Then the four of you sat in the living room, eating pizza and watching a random movie on TV. You and Tara would have to go to the pet store first thing when they opened to get Kovu some food, but you figured he would be okay for the night.

After you guys finished the pizza, you grabbed a blanket to throw over you and Tara as you cuddled up on the couch. Kovu got on the top of the blanket and walked around, kneading his feet as he got comfortable. Before you knew it, you and Tara were passed out, your heads resting against each other, and little Kovu was curled up between the two of you.

Taglist: @lilbitdepressed27 @fanboy7794 @noooodlessstuff @tatumrileyslover @alexkolax @canvascoloredin @youralphawolf72 @xxxtwilightaxelxxx

[wakandama2]

To my Black people who live in rural or small town Trump heavy areas with those fuckers on lifted trucks with them big ass flag who are about to harass your streets and you. Who will have to tread carefully around and pray they don't get as bold as their KKK predecessor. Here's what you're going to do:

- Get your phone/laptop. Then get a pot of dirt, an regular ass American flag, and a gun.

- First of all, if you were dumb enough to be a visible minority in a place like that and put up Harris or Biden 2024 signs over the course during the campaign run. You are going to take those down and pray no trumper marked down your address.

- Wipe connections to Democrats or Third Party from your social media.

- When Trumpers get in your face(with or without cameras) don't say or show anything that would help them track down your name or social media.

- Matter of fact private all your social media and purge it to just close friends and family that you can trust. Take you and/or your child off any Media use policies for schools, work, hobby organizations ect.

- THOUGHLY REVISE WHO YOU HAVE MADE COMMUNITY CONNECTIONS WITH!!! This can be an outright Trump supporter you tolerated or a person who hangs in those groups yet only tells you they aren't affiliated. They are too close, cut them out and off.

- Idc if you are atheist or agnostic, find a Black church of some kind to make community connections with. In the environment of our new situation this is probably the only community source you will be able to rely on wholeheartedly

-Coach your Black children on situational awareness. Help them recognize when it safe to speak out and when shutting the fuck up and keeping your head down is the only safe option.

- Next you are gonna stick the flag into the pot and put it on your porch or at the end of your driveway. This is an appeasement cover, Trumper will think your pro-America/neutral and you'll have a higher chance of not being harassed, not a guarantee to those if you have been vocal but it's worth a shot.

The gun is your last defense. You may have to shoot them or give yourself mercy. I pray neither option will happen.

I'm dead ass, as a Black girl who's lived a small town/ rural lifestyle all my life. It was those very area votes and gerrymandering that led to the flip of the key battle ground states. You need to be prepared because these are crazed orange dick sucking cultists are going to be a Frontline danger to you, those trucks were outside the polling station in my own hometown intimating and harassing visible brown or Democrat people.

Trust no other minority but your own, and even then tread carefully around those loudly ignorant or have forgotten that they will never receive the benefits of white supremacy.

[cx-boxbox]

Might not finish this, so have a quick ~800 word landussy drabble:

Lando grimaces, shoving a hand down his race suit to pluck at his fireproof bottoms while cursing his biology.

Being an omega can be fun sometimes, but it’s so extremely inconvenient when he’s in pre-heat and meant to get in the car in less than ten minutes. His fireproofs are fucking glued to his pussy lips with slick.

Of course, Oscar notices.

“Don’t,” Lando grumbles, glaring at his mate as soon as he opens his mouth. “I can’t wait for this to be fucking over.”

When Oscar blessedly doesn’t say anything, only sending a comforting flare of pheromones his way, Lando wants nothing more than to cry. Damn these hormones. They’re fucking ruining everything.

The car is scorching hot, just two laps in, and it takes every bit of concentration and focus for Lando to drive it, all while his pre-heat brain is absolutely killing him. Not once has he ever taken a piss in the cockpit, but all the slick pooling between his legs is arguably worse.

If only he hadn’t forgotten to take his suppressants.

Social media is going to crucify him for finishing just shy of the podium when he started from third, but he can’t bring himself to care. He’s almost glad he doesn’t have to bother with podium celebrations as soon as he puts his car in parc fermé and jumps out to get weighed.

He doesn’t have to worry about being underweight when there has to be a kilo’s worth of slick in his suit.

“Just this and then media duties,” Oscar murmurs, putting a comforting hand on the small of his back and rubbing it. “Hold on for me?”

Lando nods, resisting the temptation to bury his nose in the crook of his mate’s neck and inhale his sweaty, musky scent. Oscar’s looking a bit flushed with his hair sticking to his forehead, and Lando wants to devour him whole.

“Alpha,” he purrs. “Fuck, I’m aching for your knot.”

“Half an hour, Lando,” Oscar promises.

Lando doesn’t want to wait half an hour. He wants Oscar’s knot now. “Fuck. Fuck. You didn’t end on the podium either. Was it my fault?”

Oscar waits for him to finish weighing before shaking his head and replying, “Don’t worry about it. Bad strategy calls.”

“Fuck.”

“That’s a lot of fucks,” he jokes. “Save some for after.”

Lando laughs incredulously. He can always trust his mate to distract him from the growing pains in his abdomen.

-

Finally back in their hotel room, Lando all but throws himself at his mate, moaning into his mouth as soon as the door shuts with a click.

Oscar catches him because he’s such a good alpha, hoisting him up and carrying him to the bed. Lando gasps as the jeans he hastily pulled on are tugged down his legs and tossed carelessly aside.

“God,” Oscar groans, staring at the apex of Lando’s thighs. He can see the shape of Lando’s wet cunt through his knickers where the near-translucent fabric is practically molded to his slick folds.

Lando wants to tell him to stop staring and do something, but all coherent thought leaves his mind, and all he can do is squeal and clamp his thighs around Oscar’s head at the first touch of his lips to the center of his body.

The noise that leaves Oscar’s mouth, vibrating against Lando’s clothed pussy, is almost feral in nature, and Lando gasps, realizing that Oscar is much better at hiding the symptoms of his pre-rut. He was so preoccupied by the hot flashes of arousal making it impossible for him to even stand upright that he didn’t notice the thick, luscious scent wafting off of his mate.

Oh, but Oscar’s mouth…

“Alpha!” Lando cries, trying to shove Oscar’s face away from his soaked knickers in vain. “You can’t- we can’t-”

Oscar hums in acknowledgement but continues to suck a hickey into his thigh.

“Oscar, I forgot to take my suppressants- oh!”

The last thing Lando’s heat-ridden brain wants is for Oscar to stop, even if there’s a significant risk of pregnancy if he knots him in rut.

But would pregnancy be the worst thing to happen to him?

Giving in, Lando spreads his legs a little more, moaning as Oscar peels his underwear away. The damp cotton sticks to his folds, and he has to bite his own fingers to muffle his scream at the first lap of Oscar’s tongue against him.

Oscar didn’t even wait to get rid of the rest of Lando’s clothes, but it makes Lando feel so much more insane knowing his mate was so eager to taste him that he didn’t even bother with foreplay or anything else.

The thought alone is enough to make him come, and the continued tease of Oscar's tongue against his clit, sending aftershocks of pleasure coursing through his body, makes his back arch clear off the bed.

[witchcatyoshiko]

You look at the cross in your hand. You had spent so much money on the pretty silver one that was blessed by that really religious guy that all those people like to go see. It was probably a scam item anyways. It smelled like nickel. You were going to die because you couldn’t be bothered to authenticate your purchases. Well, actually, if the leech was telling the truth, you were going to die because you had never fully believed in God. Faith? What was faith? What did you truly believe in anymore? How were you supposed to believe in a giant invisible bearded dude in the sky? The only thing you truly believed in was…

You paused your pity party. Would it really work? You motioned a pause to the leech who stopped his advancing, dumbfounded by your quick scrabble for your bag. His brows knit together as you found what you were looking for. You turned quickly, running to him, howling like the loon you’d become. He opened his arms to trap you but as soon as your fist met his chest he sailed back with a hiss.

He slammed against the wall, reflexively scooting up it as he continued to hiss at you. You smiled triumphantly, “I may not believe in much but I have full faith in this!” You brandished your latest paystub from your day job at him. His hissing face fell to confusion but you weren’t done. You began flicking small paper darts at him, each one making contact and burning his skin. You laughed “dance for me bay-BEE!” You had been so ticked when you were called to hunt on the night you were supposed to go to your coworker’s bachelorette party. You had sat on the subway, sulking and spinning all your ones into little darts for the toothpick launching crossbow your brother had given you as a gag gift. You vowed you were going to shoot him with them for getting sick and leaving you with the hunt. And, here you were, watching the rolled up bills bury into the leech’s skin till it writhed on the floor, melting away in anguish. Oh how fate loved to twist and turn.

Later you loaded the shriveling head into a plastic market bag, double bagging it and tying the handles tight. You really hopped it didn’t spring a leak again. You were really tired of being the weird horror movie maker chick on the subway, explaining away how to make believable blood and body parts. You eyed the bag for a moment then went to triple bag it. Your phone rang. You looked at your bloody gloved hands, sighed, then jerked your head multiple times as if in a seizure, knocking the small ear piece in your ear against your shoulder till it answered the call. You heard the click of the answer, “Busy.” You stated flatly. You struggled to open the plastic container you’d taken from your bag earlier.

Your brother sneezed in your ear before croaking “you missed check in”

“Because I was busy.” You rolled your eyes at the black heart with a small stake sticking out of it. “You could have told me” you move to snap the lid onto the container but the stick blocks you. You sigh again.

“I thought you liked dogs.” Your brother coughed while trying to laugh.

You pause your assault of the plastic lid with your knife, “it was a leech not a dog”

“Shit!” Your brother sounds suddenly alarmed “are you ok? Were you bit? Do you have your UV kit? We have NOT gotten you fully trained on those.”

You nodded fervently, forcing the lid closed, the stick piercing through the hole you made for it. “Yes. No. The what? Yea I’m aware.” You triple bag the heart and shove everything into your large not-at-all-inconvenient OR suspicious to haul around in a subway black tote bag. You growl, struggling with the zipper as you listen to your brother throw around papers and check his mission book. He curses and you hear something crash then both of you are still, both heavy breathing and irritated. You wait one more moment then say, “pity pick-up or don’t-tell-dad designated driver night ENDING at Poles & Dills.”

Your brother sighs but it’s cut off with a sneeze and a hacking cough. He clears his throat “I’m still sick”

You grin as you shoulder your bag and begin your hike to the bus stop, “And I have a lot of bloody ones.”

"You have misunderstood the lore, hunter. It is neither crucifix, nor rosary, nor holy water, nor any other trapping of faith, but faith ITSELF that is anathema to my kind. And yours has proven to be. . . insufficient."

[mothiir]

What shenanigans do you think lion and leman get up to when they smell their woman ovulating

i’m sorry anon did you ask me to write yet another list of ‘primarchs react to’?

yes, thought you did! here is an incomplete list of ‘primarchs reacting to their lady ovulating’. all of these, apart from roboute, are pre-heresy.

roboute guilliman - starting off strong. This man smells that you are fertile and immediately checks and triple checks that your implant is functioning and that there is no chance that you are getting pregnant. No babies. Not now. Maybe when he has a farm, in a few hundred years. But nope, not now. If things are bad in the imperium at that moment, his ‘can’t be a dad’ anxiety might spike to the point where he doesn’t even want to put his penis near you. He sticks out one knee — still encased in his holy armour — and is like okay rub on that while I finish up this paperwork, you have forty five minutes.

the lion - his sex ed came in two batches: one from observing wild animals, and two from observing some very homosexual knights. He isn’t exactly the expert on the female reproductive cycle. However, he does the best he can, extrapolating from how female lions acted in the forest of Caliban. When they were fertile, they badgered the males for sex constantly, and seemed very distressed when they weren’t being serviced. In his infinite wisdom, he decides that human woman are probably the same, and proceeds to put you on your back at least five times a day. You whinge less than normal (mostly because you are almost comatose with exhaustion) so he counts this as a success.

leman russ - unlike the lion (and indeed most of his brothers) he has had considerable experience with female humans before he met you, so he knows exactly what to do. Yes, he does buy into some stereotypes — you are a little hornier than normal, maybe, but you’re certainly not the insatiable sex goddess he starts treating you like — but his heart (and dick) are in the right place. He may even start hinting about hey do you want pups? Maybe? Just one or two? His dirty talk takes on a distinctive feral tone. Lots of talking about how pretty you’d look with his pups in you. Don’t worry, he’ll calm down eventually.

horus - will hide your birth control. Best bet is to be conveniently absent for this week of your cycle. He’s going to start whining. Ignore him — he’s a big boy, and despite his painted insistence, primarchs do not have a genetic anomaly that makes blue balls fatal.

konrad - he sniffs you more than normal, which is saying something because he sniffs you a lot. Tells you that you smell unbearably revoltingly sweet and he hates it. No, you may not leave his chambers, he wants you to stay here so he can put up with the awful-delightful fecund reek. That’s a direct quote by the way; the man has a way with words. Like Roboute, he is pretty fanatical about not wanting children, so he isn’t going to take any risks. You will end up with a very sore jaw as he makes you swallow the little Night Haunter morning noon and night to take the edge off.

lorgar — look, he knows you’re not going to go around spreading your legs for his legion, he knows that you’re a good chaste girl who only wants him, but you smell so wonderful, and you’re all rosy with health, and his sons —- well, his sons are lovely, but they’re still men. And what chance do men have against the divine? No, you stay in your rooms nice and snug, and he will tell you when you have finished that bit of the cycle and can leave. Until then, he’ll keep you occupied. Partly with sex. Mostly with reading scripture he’s written about how said sex is a divine offering to his Father.

ferrus - meat-woman smell of weak human hormones. vile. must purge woman best way iron hand know how: insertion of the iron co —

fulgrim - writes you the most gorgeous flowery poetry and presents it to you along with an eight foot picture that is designed to ‘celebrate your delightful womanhood’. It is beautiful, in the way that all his art is, but you’ll admit that you don’t quite ‘get’ this one. It’s vaguely in the shape of a uterus, in shades of purple and gold, and — is that a penis? He will then proceed to make you forget your own name, so thankfully your opinion on said art piece is never asked.

[incorrectbatfam]

Legit how are you constantly funny and creative?? I wanna do what you do for my smaller fandom but idk how and you just make it seem so easy??

I feel like I should make like an FAQ or something because it's like the third time I've been asked this. In no particular order:

1) Punch up, not down. Or, like, elbow them from the side if you guys are on the same level.

2) Let yourself evolve and trust your audience to do the same. Otherwise it's the equivalent of being 40 and still talking about how you were prom king.

3) Play around with the tools you have. I bootlegged Photoshop and pirated a ton of stuff so the FBI should be at my door any minute.

4) Self-deprecation works to an extent. Picture your best friend saying it, and if it puts you on high alert, then nix it from your content and talk to a professional.

5) If your joke falls flat, it's either your content (the joke ran too long, you crossed a line) or your delivery (tone, timing, confidence level). You might draw the short stick and end up with a fickle crowd, but if it keeps happening, there's a common denominator.

6) If you do screw up: take note, make adjustments, and move on. No need to perform a ukulele spectacle of every apology or defense.

7) Consent still matters. Collaboration and participation is fun, but if someone doesn't wanna be involved, back off.

8) Don't take advice from people you don't find funny. Yes, I waited this far to tell you that.

9) Not every type of humor resonates with you or your audience. (Shoutout to the chronically online early Gen Z nonbinary neurodivergent people thirsting after Jason Todd's thighs, I love you but I still barely know who Chappell Roan is.)

10) Be genuine. We all know of people who are entertaining onstage but are assholes behind the scenes. You obviously can't be joking around all the time, but in general, try and put a net positive into the world.

[lupinqs]

CHAPTER ELEVEN ━━ Home, For Christmas

☆ ━ pairing: hopkins!paige x oc (dani callan)

☆ ━ word count: 4.3K

☆ ━ warnings: subtle talks of dani’s bitchass homophobic dad what’s new

☆ ━ links: my masterlist, take me to church masterlist

☆ ━ author’s note: in honor of gameday 🫡sorry this took so long you guys!!!! hopefully the next one won’t lol ALSO! y’all i wrote julia in for a reason, she will end up being important :)

CHRISTMAS DAY at her grandparents’ house is always cozy and warm, filled with laughter and the smell of cinnamon and pine. Dani’s family fills the living room, sprawled across couches, perched on armchairs, and gathered around the fireplace. Her aunts and uncles are trading stories, her little cousins are running around in holiday pajamas, and there’s a pile of presents under the tree, each one wrapped in brightly colored paper.

Dani sits in the corner of the couch, balancing her youngest aunt Julia’s newborn, Grey, in her lap. She’s been fawning over him all day, enchanted by his tiny fingers and the little yawns he lets out every now and then. His downy dark hair sticks up at odd angles, and his soft little hands rest against her arm as she holds him, his eyes drifting closed with that peaceful look babies seem to have mastered.

Julia, who’s only twenty-five and just as warm and lovely as Dani remembers from her childhood, sits beside her, watching Dani with a smile. “You’ve got the magic touch, Dani,” she says, nudging her gently. “He hasn’t fallen asleep for anyone else yet today.”

Dani grins, glancing down at Grey as he lets out a tiny sigh. “Guess he knows I’m his favorite already,” she jokes, stroking the baby’s soft cheek.

Julia shifts a little, leaning back against the couch, and after a moment, she glances sideways at Dani. “How’s your dad been doing?” she asks quietly, her tone careful.

Dani rolls her eyes, her expression slipping into something neutral. “It’s… whatever,” she says, keeping her voice low. “We don’t really talk much.”

Julia nods, understanding written all over her face. “Yeah. Me neither.” There’s a heaviness to her voice, and Dani knows why. Julia is certainly not married to Grey’s father, him having left long before Grey was born. It’s something that Dani’s dad has shamed Julia for, his conservative views casting his half sister as some kind of disgrace. Dani’s heard the things he’s said about her—heard him scoff at Julia’s life choices like they were some kind of moral failure.

She looks at Julia, her heart aching for her. “I’m sorry,” Dani says quietly. “He’s like that with everything, not just you.”

Julia lets out a soft sigh, her gaze drifting to Grey, who’s now fully asleep, his little face relaxed and peaceful. “I know,” she murmurs. “But it still sucks. I just wish he could see… it’s not like I planned for things to turn out this way. But I love Grey. And I wouldn’t trade him for anything.” She smiles down at her son, her expression soft and full of love. “It’s just a difficult situation.”

Dani nods, her throat tight. “Yeah. I get it.” She glances down at Grey, feeling the familiar warmth in her chest. She doesn’t understand why her dad has to be so harsh, so unwilling to forgive. She’s been on that side of things when her own secret came to light, and when that same judgment had been turned on her, it was terrible.

Dani adjusts her grip on Grey, who shifts a little in his sleep, tiny fingers curling around the edge of her sweater.

After a moment, Julia speaks again, her voice soft. “So… are you and Paige still not talking?” she asks, her tone careful, but curious. “Last I heard, you two weren’t friends anymore.”

Dani’s stomach tightens a little, her gaze shifting to the floor. Julia’s met Paige plenty of times—Paige was practically family, as far as her grandparents and aunts were concerned. Dani can still remember how much her mom adored Paige, how her mom used to say that Paige was the best thing to happen to her, that Paige brought out this light in her daughter that she hadn’t seen in anyone else. It’s something that, in her quiet moments, Dani clings to—thinking that maybe her mom really would have understood her situation.

“Paige was always so sweet,” Julia continues, almost wistfully. “And I remember how much your mom loved her, Dani. She always said Paige was the best friend you could ever have.”

Dani sighs, feeling the weight of it all pressing down on her. Her chest tightens with the urge to spill everything—to tell Julia about how it was so much more than just friendship, how Paige is basically her entire world, how they love each other in a much different way than most know. Dani knows Julia isn’t homophobic, and she can’t imagine Julia judging her, especially after everything Julia herself has been through with her dad and such.

But the words catch in her throat. Her fear is too strong, a familiar, icy weight. She imagines what would happen if anything she said got back to her dad, even by accident. She remembers the camp, the isolation, the way it felt like she was being slowly erased. The thought of going back there makes her stomach twist with dread.

She takes a slow breath, then finally says, “No, we’re still not friends.” Her voice is flat, and she hates how empty it sounds. “And we’re… we’re not ever going to be friends again.”

Julia frowns, reaching over to place a comforting hand on Dani’s arm. “I’m sorry, Dani. That must be so hard. Losing a friend like that… I can only imagine.”

Dani just nods, swallowing back the ache in her throat. “Yeah,” she murmurs, her gaze fixed on Grey, who’s still blissfully asleep. “It is.”

Julia gives her a soft smile, a silent offer of comfort, but Dani barely notices, her mind drifting to thoughts of Paige. She feels like she’s buried that love as deeply as she can—hidden it away in a place where her dad and the church can’t touch it.

And she’s going to stay that way. Because that is what is going to keep it safe.

DANI SINKS into her blankets, watching Christmas Vacation play on her laptop, the warmth of the bed comforting against the bite of winter outside. She’d asked her dad to watch the movie with her, hoping for at least a little shared Christmas cheer, but he’d just brushed her off with a brief mutter of how tired he was. So here she is, alone, her room dimly lit, a quiet feeling of loneliness settling in.

The Griswold family is just finishing fitting their huge Christmas tree in their living room when Dani’s phone lights up beside her. She glances down and finds Paige’s name on her screen. Her heart does a little flip as she picks it up, biting back a smile.

Paige ❤️‍🔥

You home yet?

Dani ❤️‍🔥

yeah i got home like an hour ago

Paige ❤️‍🔥

you doing anything?

Dani pauses, glancing at her screen.

Dani ❤️‍🔥

watching christmas vacation in my bed

She sends the message and internally cringes a little as she realizes how lonely it sounds.

Paige ❤️‍🔥

By yourself?

Come over and watch it with me and my fam

Dani laughs softly, rolling her eyes. Of course Paige wouldn’t let her stay alone, not tonight. Paige always has that unwavering energy, that impulsive streak that Dani has never been able to resist.

Dani ❤️‍🔥

paige my dad’s home

Paige ❤️‍🔥

Sneak out!!!

I’ll come get you by your window

Dani stares at the screen, a little stunned, a little thrilled. Her fingers hover over the screen, her thumb hesitating over the keyboard.

Dani ❤️‍🔥

you’re insane

Paige ❤️‍🔥

And yet ur not saying no 😁😁

A grin tugs at Dani’s lips, and she feels her pulse quicken. She glances at her door, hoping and praying for her sake that her dad was true on his word and that he’s asleep, then quietly swings her legs off the bed. Closing her laptop, she grabs her thickest hoodie from her chair, pulling it over her head. She finds her Uggs under the bed, slipping them on and making her way to the window, heart pounding in anticipation. Her fingers fumble a bit as she undoes the lock, the cold air hitting her face the moment she slides it open.

Peering outside, she feels her heart skip as she spots Paige standing below. Paige is bundled up in her coat, hands deep in her pockets, and despite the shivering, she’s grinning up at Dani like this is the most natural thing in the world. Snow has started to fall again, gentle flakes catching in Paige’s hair and dusting her shoulders. She looks really pretty.

“Hey!” Paige calls up softly, her voice a mix of excitement and impatience. “You comin’ down, or what?”

Dani can’t help the smile that spreads across her face. She leans out a little, gripping the window frame for balance. “This is so stupid, you know that?” she whispers, trying not to laugh too loud.

Paige just shrugs, her grin undeterred. “Live a little!”

Dani laughs softly, the sound swallowed by the stillness of the night. She glances down, assessing the climb, feeling a pang of nervousness when she sees just how far the ground looks. Her window isn’t exactly low, and she can’t be sure the snow is soft. She swallows, feeling her pulse quicken as she considers her next move.

“Paige,” she whispers, trying to keep her voice down but still sounding panicked, “I’m going to fall!”

“If you do, I’ll catch you!” Paige whispers back, her voice carrying a confidence that only makes Dani’s heart beat faster. “Besides, there’s like a foot of fresh snow down here. You’ll be fine.”

Paige waves, motioning for her to climb down. Dani takes a deep breath, telling herself she’s done more dangerous things in her life than sneaking out of her own house. She slowly climbs through the window, her fingers gripping the cold edges of the siding as she carefully makes her way down. She’s almost to the bottom, just a couple of feet away from the ground, when her foot slips on the last ledge.

She lets out a small yelp, her fingers losing their grip, and she starts to tumble. There’s a split second of weightlessness, her heart in her throat, and then Paige’s arms are around her, just enough to slow her fall before they both collapse into the snow in a heap. The impact sends a puff of snow up around them, freezing and soft at the same time. Dani’s breath catches as she feels Paige’s arms around her, the warmth of her body cutting through the biting cold.

For a moment, they just lie there in the snow, laughing softly, breathless and tangled together. Their faces are close, so close that Dani can feel Paige’s breath against her cheek, warm and sweet, mingling with the cold night air. Paige’s cheeks are flushed pink, her nose red from the cold, and there’s a light in her eyes that makes Dani’s heart skip a beat.

Paige reaches up, brushing a few stray snowflakes from Dani’s face, her fingers lingering on her cheek. “You good?” she asks softly, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Dani nods, her own cheeks flushed. She’s suddenly hyper-aware of every point of contact between them—their knees, their hands, the faint tremor in Paige’s touch as her fingers trace along Dani’s cheek. She shivers, but this time, it has nothing to do with the cold.

Paige nods back, looking thoughtful, her hand dropping to swipe a bit of snow off Dani’s shoulder. She glances around, making sure no one’s watching, before leaning in. Her eyes search Dani’s face for a moment, just a flicker of hesitation, before she closes the distance, her lips brushing softly against Dani’s.

The kiss is barely more than a whisper, a featherlight touch that’s over almost as soon as it begins. But it leaves Dani breathless, her heart racing in her chest as she looks up at Paige. There’s a warmth in Paige’s eyes that makes Dani’s stomach flutter, a tenderness that feels like the best Christmas gift she’s ever received.

Paige pulls back, her eyes sparkling with mischief, a soft smile tugging at her lips. “Come on,” she whispers, her voice warm, filled with a quiet joy that Dani feels mirrored in her own chest. Paige helps her to her feet, brushing snow off their coats as they stand together, grinning like conspirators in the snowy silence.

They link arms, Paige’s hand slipping into Dani’s pocket to hold her hand, the feeling of Paige’s fingers warming her whole body up. Together, they start making their way toward Paige’s house, the snow crunching beneath their feet, their laughter echoing softly in the stillness of the night.

They go through the back door of Paige’s house, each of them letting out a relieved sigh as the warmth surrounds them, chasing away the icy chill of the Minnesota night. Dani takes a moment to close her eyes, basking in the feeling of warmth creeping back into her fingers and toes, the familiar smell of cookies, cinnamon, and evergreen filling the air.

There in the kitchen, Drew is perched on a stool by the island, his legs swinging idly as he chews on a Christmas cookie dusted with red and green sprinkles. Bob, Paige’s dad, stands near the stove, pulling sprinkles out of a cabinet. A tray of freshly baked cookies cools on the counter, the sweet scent drifting through the room. Bob’s face lights up when he sees Dani and Paige sneaking in, a broad grin stretching across his face.

“Dani! Merry Christmas!” he exclaims, waving her over as if she were his own daughter. “I saved a couple cookies for you, but they almost fell victim to that creature—” he points to Drew, who giggles at the wording, frosting dusting the corners of his mouth “—over there.”

Dani laughs, an easy grin drifting to her face as she says, “I can see that. Thanks for letting me come over; I didn’t mean to intrude on family Christmas.”

Paige rolls her eyes, her hand on Dani’s hip as she pushes her toward the island. “Shut up, Dan, you’re never intruding.”

“She’s right,” Bob says cheerily, grabbing a couple plain cookies from the tray and placing them in front of the two empty stools next to Drew. “You’re family, Dani.”

Dani feels her face flush at his words, and her chest warms, too. It’s nice to know that they’re glad she’s here, that they don’t feel as though she’s intruding, that maybe she really belongs in this corner of her world. She’d really, really like to.

Dani sits on the bar stool next to Drew, and Paige sits on the other one so the brunette girl is in between the two Bueckers siblings. However, it seems as though the small distance between Dani and Paige is too much, because Dani feels Paige’s hand graze her thigh as she grabs hold of the stool Dani’s sat on, pulling it so close to her own that the two of them are practically sharing a seat. Their shoulders press against each other, as do the sides of their legs, and it’s enough to send a warm jolt through Dani.

Dani sends a little look to Paige, her brows raised ever so slightly, smirk playing her lips.

“What?” Paige asks, though she’s got a look that mirrors the Callan girl’s. “You were too far.”

Dani just shakes her head at the blonde’s words, watching as she grabs the remote and flicks through the Christmas movies until she finds Christmas Vacation, having told Dani that she should watch it with them instead and holding onto her word.

Dani feels a smile lifting her lips as she reaches for a cookie in the tray in front of her, placing it on her plate. She grabs a piping bag, too, squeezing a tiny bit of green icing onto her finger just to get a taste.

“Oh, you’re gettin’ into the icing already?” Paige teases, leaning in with an arched brow. She grabs her own piping bag and, without warning, dabs a bit of red frosting on the tip of Dani’s nose, laughing as Dani’s eyes widen.

Dani gasps, swatting at her with a laugh. “Paige!” she exclaims, grabbing her green icing before leaning over and spreading some onto Paige’s cheek in retaliation.

Paige’s mouth open in mock outrage, but before she can protest herself, Drew interrupts with a grin, reaching for another piping bag, and asking, “Are we having an icing fight?”

The seven-year-old’s words seem to catch Bob’s attention, who turns from where he was watching the movie to see what’s happening behind him. Dani watches his eyes trail over the green on her nose and the red on his daughter’s cheek and he gives them a playfully stern look before telling Drew, “No, buddy, no icing fight. You’ll get on Santa’s Naughty List next year if you do.”

Drew laughs a little, pointing at the two girls sitting next to him and saying, “Ooh, Naughty List.”

Paige just playfully sticks her tongue out at her little brother before grabbing a napkin. She dramatically uses it to wipe the red icing off of her cheek, before balling it up and tossing it back onto the island. Dani rolls her eyes at the blonde’s dramatics, reaching to grab her own napkin to clean up her nose. But Paige swats at the hand Dani was reaching. Dani sends Paige a look, watching as the girl beside her cautiously glances at her dad and Drew—whose attention’s have both been captured by the movie—before leaning in and grinning as she kisses the tip of Dani’s nose and then sticks her tongue out to lick the icing away. She pulls back and Dani’s sure her face is red—especially due to the proximity of Paige’s family—but Paige is just smiling mischievously, using her tongue to swipe away any remaining frosting on her lips.

Dani finally takes the liberty to actually decorate her cookie, deciding for the traditional Christmas tree route. She’s spreading the green icing along the sugar cookie carefully, her eyes occasionally flicking between Christmas Vacation and Paige decorating her own cookie. It’s more endearing to watch the latter—she’s decorating with exaggerated precision (though if Dani’s honest, she can’t tell what the glob of frosting is meant to look like… it might be an ornament), her tongue sticking out in concentration, her hair falling into her face ever so slightly. Dani flicks her eyes away, back to her own handiwork.

At one point, Paige leans over to whisper to Dani, “Look at Drew’s cookie… the sprinkles…”

Dani does as the blonde says, her gaze finding Drew, to the left of her. He’s humming quietly to himself, concentrating on drowning his cookie in red and green sprinkles, his fingers sticky and his cheeks dusted with sugar. Dani stifles a giggle as she leans in even closer to see the cookie piled high with so many sprinkles that it’s almost unrecognizable. She catches Paige’s eye, and they both burst into quiet laughter, trying not to let Drew hear.

“Hey, it’s nice!” Drew defends, noticing their stifled laughter.

From where he’s standing, Bob chuckles, watching the exchange with a fond smile. “You’re doing great, Drew,” he says, reaching over to ruffle his son’s hair, eyes flicking across the three cookies the kids before him are making. “Though, I think you and Paige both have some competition in Dani here.”

Dani watches as Paige looks at her dad in betrayal, though it’s true—her cookie is terrible. Dani just grins, nodding, nudging Paige’s knee under the counter. “Years of practice,” the brunette says in a mock-serious tone before carefully adding a few more sprinkles to her cookie.

Paige rolls her eyes, mumbling, “Whatever. Mine tastes better.”

CHRISTMAS VACATION ended not too long ago, and Drew and Bob went upstairs to bed, leaving Dani and Paige alone. The warm glow of the tree casts a soft light over the living room, and Home Alone now plays quietly on the screen, adding to the late-night comfort. Dani’s curled up against Paige, the two of them snuggled under a thick fleece blanket, Paige’s arm wrapped securely around her. Dani lets herself drift, lulled by the movie, the warmth, the way Paige’s fingers trace soft circles over her shoulder.

But then Paige shifts slightly beneath her, murmuring, “So… I know we promised not to get each other anything…”

Dani’s eyes immediately flick from the TV to Paige, her brow furrowing as she pulls back slightly, a hint of accusation in her gaze. “Tell me you didn’t get me something.”

Paige, looking a little sheepish, averts her eyes and rubs the back of her neck, mumbling, “Well…”

“Paige!” Dani sits up fully now, her voice holding a mixture of surprise and mild reproach. “We promised not to!”

“I know, I know!” Paige protests, her face flushed as she tries to defend herself. “And I wasn’t going to, I swear! But then I was at the mall literally yesterday, just doing some last-minute shopping for my family, and—” She pauses, looking a bit embarrassed but determined to explain. “I saw this thing that really reminded me of you…”

Dani sighs, her shoulders dropping a little as she shakes her head. “Paige…”

“I know,” Paige says quickly, hands lifted in a half-hearted attempt at appeasement. “But it was on sale because of the holidays! I hardly spent any money on it.”

Dani narrows her eyes, trying not to let the affection she feels soften her mock glare. “Still. I feel bad. If I’d known you’d gotten me something, I would’ve gotten you something.”

“Don’t feel bad,” Paige says, shaking her head earnestly. “I was the one who went against our promise, not you.”

They fall silent for a moment, the only sound in the room coming from the movie on the TV. Dani’s gaze flickers to Paige, whose face is shadowed in the dim light. There’s something vulnerable in the way Paige looks at her, something almost tentative, and it makes Dani’s heart ache in a way she can’t quite name.

Finally, Paige speaks up again, her voice soft. “Can I go get it?”

Dani nods, and Paige disentangles herself from their cozy nest of blankets, slipping upstairs while Dani stays on the couch, her mind racing a little. She knows Paige put thought into this, that whatever it is, it’s going to mean something.

Moments later, Paige is bounding down the stairs again, a tiny jewelry box held carefully in her hand. She pauses by the couch, her gaze flickering between the box and Dani, and Dani watches her, heart thudding with a mix of anticipation and warmth.

“Here,” Paige says softly, holding out the box as she sits back down beside Dani, even closer than before, their entire sides pressed up against each other.

Dani takes the box, feeling the slight weight of it in her hands, and slowly lifts the lid. Inside is a delicate silver necklace, the pendant small and simple—almost nondescript, but close up she can see the engraving on it, the tiny, intricate letters that spell out a single word: home.

Dani’s breath catches as she stares down at the pendant, her fingers trembling slightly as she lifts it. She can feel her throat tighten, emotion welling up inside her as the weight of the word hits her fully. It’s more than a necklace; it’s a message, a reminder of everything Paige has been to her, a promise that wherever Paige is, she’ll always have a place to belong.

She glances up at Paige, her eyes stinging, her voice barely above a whisper. “You… you really thought of me when you saw this?”

Paige nods, her gaze soft and steady, her fingers reaching out to brush lightly against Dani’s. “Yeah,” she says, her voice equally soft, almost like she’s afraid of breaking the moment. “I know things have been… hard, with your dad and everything. I just… I wanted you to have something that reminds you that you’ll always have a home with me. No matter what.”

Dani feels the tears slip down her cheeks, and she doesn’t bother to wipe them away. She just lets the words sink in, lets herself feel the weight of Paige’s thoughtfulness, her kindness, the unwavering support Paige always seems to offer, even when Dani feels like she doesn’t deserve it.

“Thank you,” she whispers, her voice barely audible.

Paige moves closer, pulling Dani into a hug, her arms wrapping securely around her. She rests her chin on top of Dani’s head, her fingers gently stroking her back, and Dani melts into her, closing her eyes and breathing in Paige’s familiar scent.

“I love you,” Paige murmurs into her hair, her voice soft and steady, filled with a warmth that wraps around Dani like a blanket.

Dani’s own arms tighten around Paige, and she whispers back, “I love you, too.”

They stay like that for a moment, wrapped up in each other, the rest of the world fading away. Then, slowly, Paige pulls back, her gaze meeting Dani’s, and there’s a question in her eyes, one Dani answers by leaning in, pressing her lips softly to Paige’s.

The kiss is gentle, almost tentative at first, a quiet meeting of emotions unspoken. But as the seconds stretch, Dani lets herself get lost in it, her hand slipping up to rest against Paige’s cheek, her fingers brushing along her jaw. Paige’s hand finds the small of Dani’s back, pulling her in closer, and Dani feels her heart pounding, the warmth of Paige’s touch grounding her, steadying her.

When they finally pull back, their faces are close, their breaths mingling, and Dani can’t help but smile, the kind of smile that’s soft and true, filled with a happiness she rarely allows herself to feel.

Paige grins back, her fingers brushing over Dani’s cheek as she murmurs, “Merry Christmas, Dani.”

Dani’s voice is quiet, but full of warmth. “Merry Christmas, Paige.”

[autocrats-in-love]

I NEED an overly dramatic villain losing to the hero, visibly humiliated by the outcome of their battle. Hero, being the sweetheart they are, comforts the villain, who is currently sobbing on the floor like a literal child

Who's There At the End

The hero’s shaking, gloves hands finally snapped the shears closed over the red wire. The red numbers on the timer  blinked, then switched off. The hero sighed in relief. Another day saved from the villain’s destruction. They stood up and dusted their clothes off, staring at the setting sun. They could finally go home. They had gotten up way too early this morning. They were yawning as they handed the plastic explosive that had been attached to city hall off to a wary police officer.

“It’s fine,” the hero said reassuringly. “They never install backups on their bombs. Just stick it in the evidence locker.”

The hero pushed past officers and approached the chief of police. They tapped him on the shoulder. The chief turned around, moustache twitching in frustration.

“Hey, you find them yet?” the hero asked.

The chief sighed in defeat. The villain had, once again, evaded capture. “No. But we’re close, I can feel it.”

The hero had heard that more than once. They laughed. “Sure. Good night, chief.”

The chief waved the hero away. The hero wasn’t going to look for the villain today. They were too tired. They were about to take off flying when they felt their super suit pockets.

“Crap. My keys.” 

The hero turned around, and walked back up the steps to  city hall. They must have dropped it sometimes when they and the villain were fighting. Or maybe when the villain locked them in that supply closet. The hero walked across the lousy-with-cops lobby and pushed the elevator button. They got in when the elevator dinged, and pushed the button for the sixth floor, where the hero and villain’s grand battle had taken place. The hero watched the number on the screen go up, anxious to get out of here and relax with a book. One, two, three, four, five- 

A weight crashed onto the top of the elevator box. The hero stumbled as the box shook. They rushed to push the emergency stop button. Then they looked up, listening to the patter above their head. Were those footsteps? Then one of the ceiling grates fell down, and the hero had to dive out of the way of it. They huddled under the handle bar, and watched as the figure jumped down into the elevator. The hero’s heart rate spiked. It was the villain. They were probably angry, vengeful. . .and crying? When the villain turned to look at the hero, it was clear there were tears streaming down their puffy face. The villain jumped up when they realised who they had intruded upon.

“Uh, hi,” the hero said with a wave.

The villain glared at them. For some reason, it made the hero sad. The hero was about to get to their feet to defend themselves--not that they were in any mood for a second round--when the villain sighed and collapsed on the ground. They brought their knees to their chest and buried their face in their lap. The hero could hear their enemy sobbing and sniffling. The hero was caught off guard by the apparent vulnerability they were being shown. The villain was usually very hard to read. The hero knew they shouldn’t let their guard down. But, after considering for a moment, they scooted over to the villain.

“Is everything okay?” the hero asked. 

The villain didn’t look up, or respond. They continued crying without restraint. The hero hesitated. Then they moved their hand to the villain’s back. The villain whipped their head up, snapping their fingers around the hero’s wrist.

“Don’t try anything,” the villain said raspily. 

They squeezed the hero’s wrist, making heat bloom from the area.

“Ow! I was trying to be nice,” the hero said.

The villain didn’t look convinced. Their glare was wet, their brown eyes shining under the fluorescents. The hero gulped. 

“Look, I know it’s hard to lose-”

More tears welled in the villain’s eyes. “No, you don’t! You always win. Not just against me, either. You have everything, and I’m just stuck taking the scraps you leave behind!”

The villain’s voice broke at the end. It made the hero soften.

“You tried to explode a building,” the hero said gently.

“Yeah, I couldn’t even do that,” the villain said, staring at the hero’s exposed wrist. “I’m such a disappointment.”

“A disappointment? To whom?” the hero said.

The villain sighed. “Just. . .the people who expect things from me.”

Ah. The hero was a public figure, too. They could relate. 

“I get it.”

The villain looked sceptical. “You don’t fail, though. You always win. You’re always ahead. Everyone loves you.”

The hero laughed. “Are you kidding? Have you seen the articles written about me? About how I’m too nonchalant, too slow, that I’ve never been able to arrest you.”

The villain blinked slowly, processing. “Really?”

The hero nodded. The villain loosened their grip on them. “Then- how does it all not get to you?”

The hero shrugged. “I mean, I am pretty nonchalant.”

The villain rolled their eyes.

“But, also, these reporters don’t know me. They don’t know that it is actually pretty hard to get the upper hand on you. They don’t even know my real name. So why would I trust their opinion?”

The villain wiped their eyes. When they looked back at the hero, they had a small smile on their face. Their hand dropped the hero’s wrist. 

“Did you say it’s hard to beat me?”

“Uh-” the hero felt themselves blushing.

The villain laughed, the colour returning to their cheeks. “Am I your arch nemesis? Does the thought of taking me down haunt you every waking hour?”

The hero pushed the villain’s face away from them. “Shut up.” 

The hero’s phone started ringing. They pulled it from their pocket. The chief of police. The hero picked it up.

“Hello?” came the chief’s panicked voice through the line.

“Hey, chief,” the hero responded.

The villain’s eyes widened in fear. They seemed to be genuinely scared of the chief.

“Officers are saying you’re stuck in an elevator. We’re still searching for them-” the hero smiled at the gruff voice the chief used when talking about the villain. “-but there’s no sign so far. Are they with you? Are you cornered in the elevator?”

The hero thought about it for a moment. Sure, the chief would be over the moon to finally have the villain. But, on the other hand. . .the villain was having a pretty crappy day.

“Nope. Haven’t seen anyone. A ceiling grate just fell and I was worried the whole roof would come crashing down. I’ll probably be out in a few minutes.”

“Okay, then. But be careful. They could still be lurking around.”

“Uh huh. Bye, chief.”

The hero hung up the phone. The villain stared at them. The hero shrugged in response.

“Why?” the villain asked.

“Because now you owe me one,” the hero said. “But you definitely need to get out of here. The chief is on a rampage to find you.” 

The villain sniffed one last time. Then they pulled the villain into a hug. It surprised the hero, and ignited a heat that they hadn’t felt in a long time. They hugged the villain back. When the two separated, the villain said, “Oh! I know how to pay you back.”

The hero raised an eyebrow. “How?” 

The villain tossed the hero something small. The hero caught it in between their hands.

“Oh, my keys!”

They looked up to thank the villain, but their enemy had disappeared.

[gicosmo]

Random OP Character Headcanons

Random hcs I’ve been thinking about for like the past two months lol

Luffy: Play fights will turn dangerous real quick. Out of all of the Strawhats, he’s the one you shouldn’t ever think about play fighting with.

Zoro: So bad with directions he has to hold his hands out in an L shape to see which is left and right.

Franky: Has tried to do his hair to make it look like the word “SUPER”. Ended up hating how much gel he was using tho.

Nami: Her and Ussop have self care days. She goes ALL out every time! Face masks, pedicures, full blown hair care. She’ll make sure they have a relaxing day.

Usopp: When the crew reunited, him and Nami bonded over their hair. Will talk about different styles they want to try out, different hair products, even going as far as teaching themselves different hair styles to practice on one another.

Kaido: We all know he’s an emotional drunk. Has cried in front of Yamato about how he thinks he doesn’t love him. (Yamato didn’t gaf.)

Yamato: He’s only sticking to one hairstyle and that’s his ponytail. He cannot for the life of him bring himself to do anything else with his hair. It’s him and his ponytail against the world!

Lucci: Lowkey loves gossip to the point where he uses Hattori. Hattori knows allll the tea. Watch out for the adorable bird, he’s getting insight for Lucci.

Kaku: Loves giraffes so much to the point where he despises the predators of them. Lowkey disliked Lucci for a bit because of his leopard devil fruit.

Mihawk: Hates being called “Dracule”. Mihawk, his full name, or Hawkeyes, or even Mr. Creepy Swordsman will do just fine. But please do NOT call him Dracule.

Crocodile: Made mini sandcastles out of boredom one time in his office when trying to figure out the budget for Cross Guild. Didn’t try it again because Daz almost walked in on him doing it.

Daz Bonez: Turned his finger into a knife so he could cut fruits for himself. Why go out of your way to grab a knife when you can become the knife?

Buggy: We all know he has beautiful long hair. Downside to that lucious hair is that he’s tender headed, especially if someone else is brushing his hair. Will hold his head, flinch away, probably even start crying. His scalp is very sensitive!

Doflamingo: As manipulative as this man is, he CANNOT flirt. He can’t even do it as a form of manipulation. He’s better off dancing like an actual bird to attract a potential relationship(that won’t work either)

Corazon/Rosinante: Unlike his brother, this man can actually flirt! Is a natural at it actually. Only downside is that he’ll get flustered if someone flirts back and end up falling to the ground. (Also headcanon that he definitely slipped on a random banana peel on the floor. Baby 5 put the banana peel there.)

Perona: She actually attempted to try her negative hollow move on Mihawk once. Didn’t get the chance to because a simple glare from him made her rethink her life choices.

Barto: Most definitely has written cute fanfics about the Strawhats. Probably has drawn fanart too.

Ace: Most definitely held a “loudest fart/burp” challenge on the Moby Dick. Whitebeard won

Sabo: Tried swinging his staff around as a party trick. Ended up wacking himself on the head with it. Never did it again.

Marco: If he lived in the modern world he would most definitely binge watch those paternity court videos. Or Jerry Springer and Maury vids.(This is all thanks to Stussy and Weevil. Bro does NOT think that’s Whitebeard’s biological son.)

Shanks: Can handle getting drunk off his ass. Cannot handle getting high, not even in the slightest.

Law: After he got his tattoo, he admired them and wondered if Cora would be happy about him getting them in his honor.

Kidd: Loves eyeliner, HATES mascara. He cannot stand anything on his lashes. Also has a horrible habit of plucking his lashes a bit.

Killer: Has bought those straws that are made into designs. Most definitely has a straw that looks like glasses.

Hawkins: He likes crystals! One of those astrology people. “What’s your zodiac sign? Oh? Gemini? Damn… You’re gonna die.” (Most definitely yelled at Kid for calling Aquarius “Asparagus”)

[ifmagicexists]

they set up so much stuff to explore with tommy it makes no sense if this is the end?? with the convo with josh basically showing that buck's in love with him and also showing the kind of environment tommy is coming out of and the potential insecurities that come from there. even within that scene you could see buck being so confused about what tommy was thinking, it reads as a perfect setup for a classic soapy rom-com reuniting moment where buck shows he's in love with tommy and convinces him he really is it for buck, and for tommy getting past the idea that he's not worth sticking around for

What was the point of having tommy bring up the importance of family so many times? What was the point in bringing him back at all? They literally could have chosen some rando with no history on the show for this. They never needed to intertwine him with Eddie. Like the entire storyline in general was pointless (with it being Tommy) if it ends there.

That’s just shitty writing.

[aihoshiino]

chapter 165 thoughts

Aqua Hoshigan Status: It's Officially Hoshinover

Chapters Until The Story Ends Without The 143 Kiss Being Addressed Or Acknowledged: 1

damn i guess they really did just kill his ass

I'm gonna be so real with you gamers, I kind of don't have a lot to say about this one either lol. Which I acknowledge sounds completely wild given the Everything that happens in it, but most of my meat and potatoes analysis in these reviews comes from breaking down characterization and we're flying through everything at such breakneck pace that we're barely getting any characterization.

It continues to drive me bugfuck insane that Ai is completely absent from this finale despite the importance of 15 Year Lie. Its imagery is plastered all over but whenever we return to it, we just see Aqua. Not only that, but Gotanda is the one who insists on pushing the movie through for Aqua. 15YL as a story about Ai's true self and her tragedy is now officially taking a backseat to being about Aqua's tragic death and legacy. It was already bad enough that we spent so much time in the Movie Arc not actually focusing on Ai to the extent that, as everyone pointed out, based on what we saw on-page it was basically a Sad Kamiki Movie, but this really is just pissing right in the wound at this point lmao.

The funeral scene also serves as the final nail in the coffin for any Secretly Alive Aqua copes, which is kind of a relief. I still don't like how Aqua's death played out, but I think dragging it out for four chapters then going "sorry you thought i was /srs when i was just /jk" would have been infinitely more insulting. I don't like this ending, but I can respect that Akasaka seems to be sticking to his guns on it, even if we still do have like a whole chapter left for him to whip around and go "I WAS /JK ALL ALONG!!!!" but I don't see it happening.

Anyway, yeah! The funeral! Uh. Is it gonna sound weird if I say I felt kind of like… grossed out reading this the first time? Like, I really don't know how else to explain the visceral "why the fuck is the author making me read this" reaction I had to it. I think it's just because Kana is so fucking distraught here and the drama is just so hammy and so over the top that it feels kind of… ech. I dunno. I just really didn't vibe.

It doesn't help that this is part of a much broader pattern in the back half of OnK of Aka getting us right up close into the gory details of a character's complete mental breakdown and suffering and then spend zero time or focus on their recovery. This happened with Ruby all over the Movie Arc and this many times and with this little runway to the end of the series, it just starts to feel exploitative, like a way to cheaply pull at our heartstrings without doing the work to build everyone back up after tearing them down.

also pre-emptively dreading all the fuel this is going to add to the fires of People Who Are Weird And Misogynistic About Kana but she could die saving innocent children from a burning building and people would find reasons to be shitty about her lmao

we really are not seeing ruby's reaction to finding out her brother was dead huh lol

I will say the one thing I didn't Actively Dislike about this chapter was Ruby, though. I was honestly starting to get pretty skeeved out with how many people were gleefully predicting or actively wishing for her immediate suicide purely for ship motivated reasons and I was also worrying that the story was going to pretend that Ruby doesn't like. Have a life and support system outside of Aqua. Yes, she should absolutely be affected by his death but this period of her shutting down only to drag herself back onto her feet that we seem to be getting feels way more in line with pre-Movie Arc flanderization Ruby and I'll take that W where I can get it.

god. I haven't even talked about Kamiki's supposed serial killer cult. I just don't have the strength. Like… that's self-evidently stupid, right? I don't need to explain to you why that's ridiculous and unbelievable? You don't need me to tell you why it's fucking crazy that we're getting this information about the alleged overarching antagonist of the series not only in the second-to-last chapter of the entire series but after he was already dead, right? We can just move on? Ok good. jesus christ.

FINAL CHAPTER NEXT WEEK…

[professonalarttheclownfan]

Jealous

David x fem!reader

(I am obsessed with this man)

UPDATE-finally got round to editing it and making it a little better in my opinion.

You been hired as a part of the makeup team for the 3rd Terrfier having the first 2 be some of your favourite films, you were stoked beyond words.

The makeup and costuming department was a small due to a smaller budget. So you’d gotten the know the others well. It was the first day on set and you’d yet to meet any of the actors, getting the prosthetics ready, and talking through any final makeup changes with Damien.

You’d been given the golden ticket, working on the man himself, thee art the clown. Due to clashing schedules the cast read through was something you’d had to miss out on, so you really were a newbie. Having been in awe of David since Terrfier came out, getting to be so up close to him was a dream come true.

You’d come to set early to get set up and after talking with Damien, you grabbed your kit, laying out the things you needed and the order you’d use stuff in. Being able to be in the quiet was calming, your nerves were heightened, feeling like you were living in a dream. You were talented, but to be working with the likes of Damien and David had your head spinning.

A light knock pulled you out of your head, it was still slightly early but nothing major, still, the knock surprised you none the less.

“Come in” you called out, pushing your half empty kit bag on the the shelf. You hadn’t realised it was David that had knocked since you were stood with your back still facing the door.

“Thought I’d come say hey” his voice was gentle yet charming, you spun on your heels to face him, your cheeks turning up ward into a bright smile. There he was stood right there, within arms reach. You were taken aback at how truly handsome he was, you knew he was attractive from photos and panel videos but nothing like having him stand in-front of you in the flesh.

“Since you know we’re going to be spending hours a day together. Plus we never got to meet at the cast reading. I was kinda gutted you weren’t there. I love your work, especially that joker piece you did” he continued, letting out a small laugh.

“Hey! yeah, im y/n. It’s actually nice to finally meet you. I was so bummed I had to miss it. Im in shock that you know of my work! But thank you that really means alot!” You answered sticking your hand toward him, he returned the gesture. Gently placing his hand in yours and shaking it. You locked eye contact with the tall man, a blush rose to your cheeks, which in turn caused to look away.

You both clicked instantly, after light flirting and a conversation that seemed to flow like water, it was time to get him in the chair. This man was a charmer, you don’t know how you’d survive the duration of filming, you could already feel yourself gaining feelings for him.

~a couple of months into filming

You’d gotten to know David well, and he you. You two had become kind of inseparable. Finding that you both seemed to gravitate toward each other, even on days that David wasn’t filming you’d usually end up doing something together to get your and his mind off of work for a while. The early mornings and late nights you had together became the best part of the working day for both of you, although doing the makeup and taking the said makeup off was tedious, you and David got the trailer to yourselves and that time was filled with belly laughs and constant chatter between the two of you. Your feelings had developed for David, being around him so much just intensified them.

After filming finished, premiers and cons were beginning. Your name had gotten out there, you’d become as popular as the main cast especially due to all the content fans got from your and David’s outings.

~You’d been invited to a panel, along with David. You’d stood at the side of the stage. You’d never done anything like this before, your anxiety was through the roof, your knees shook as you waited shifting your weight from one foot to the other. You felt a firm squeeze on your shoulder you knew instantly who it was, David. He kept his arm over your shoulders whilst he stood beside you. As if he was magic, he could tell how nervous you were about the whole thing. You appreciated him.

“You’re gonna smash it pretty lady” he whispered to you, pulling you into a hug, he rested his chin on top of your head not letting go until he was called up onto the stage.

It was your turn, you tapped the tip of your middle finger against the pad of your thumb a habit you’d picked up to replace picking at the skin around your fingers when you got anxious, the crowd was far larger then you’d expected. You took the seat next to David, and plopped your self on the chair behind the long table.

The interviewer was pretty, no. Drop dead gorgeous. And you could tell she had eyes for David, you swallowed down the pit you had in your stomach. The flirting was obvious, she batted her lashes, pushed her arms to reveal more of her cleavage, all the text book things. You didn’t hate her, why would you? but you envied that she could probably have David right there and then if she wanted too. You were quiet on the stage, you’d usually be able to keep your anxiety in check and David picked up on this instantly, he hated seeing you struggling, he wanted to hug you, comfort you, but he couldn’t so instead he hooked his pinky finger on to yours under the table, if anything it helped calm him too.

If asked a question you’d answer and thank fans when ever they came up. You were extremely grateful and loved every single one of them, they meant you could be sat were you were today. But due to your inner turmoil you tried your best to stay composed remaining polite and appreciative but quiet. Jealousy bubbled, even though he sat there with his pinky intertwined with yours you’d convinced yourself he only viewed you as a friend, he was a charming beautiful soul, you hated being like this you were a grown adult. But with it mixed in with the shame and the embarrassment, for thinking about David romantically. Why would a man such as himself glance your way, when he was surrounded by such interesting, gorgeous women?

A fan had walked up to the mic situated in the audience, you were away with your thoughts and you hadn’t realised the fan had asked a question directed toward just you, having the majority of fans ask questions primarily for David you hadn’t realised this one was for you. You felt David unlink his pinky with yours and gently place his hand on your wrist, David gave your arm a slight stroke with his thumb to get your attention, offering you a reassuring smile whilst tilting his head ever so slightly toward the fan.

“Hey, Sorry! Could you repeat that? I didn’t quite hear” you smiled at the fan, feeling bad for not listening.

“Of course! hi I’m kay! im such a huge fan of you! So obviously me and the fans want to know what was your favourite thing to do in your down time when you weren’t working on the film? We’ve seen all the photos of your guys days out but I really wanna know!” Kay finished, it was an odd question but a sweet one at that with all the photos circulating of you and the cast hanging out, fans get curious.

“Hmm, probably just catching a film with David and sometimes other cast members every so often! Or me and David would find the BEST takeout places if we were filming in the same location for a while so we’d always get takeout then build Lego sets together. Elliot would join in when he wasn’t too busy too! Me and David also have a shared love of theatre so we’d catch shows together! Especially musicals. I think having down time when filming a project like this is highly important! being around guts and gore is so so fun but day in day out can get tiring”

The fan seemed super happy with the answer you gave, but what you did miss out was any time you spent with David was your favourite when working or not, even when the job load was stressful David made it all feel okay again.

You were desperate to get off of the stage, your emotions were starting to drain you and so was your social battery and thankfully the panel was coming to a finish,

“We want to thank the panel today! to the wonderful David and Y/n!” The lady said, the crowd erupted with applause, you thanked the crowd and left the stage. The interviewer nodded her head toward you as you walked off, you returned the gesture. Once off the stage you turned to wait for David releasing she’d swooped in to give David a goodbye hug, the hug lasted a while, and with that you walked away you needed air.

Mentally beating yourself up for ever thinking there was something special between you and him, surprised at yourself for just walking away, as you’d usually wait for David or vice versa. But you needed a breather. Being in love with this man was too much. Soon as the press and cons were over you’d have to go back to your old life anyway, a life that was a million worlds away from David’s . His new found stardom would mean, you’d soon become just another makeup artist he’s worked with. And it hurt.

You’d managed to make your way outside avoiding the large crowds of horror fans by navigating the labyrinth of corridors in the venue,“Hey, y/n wait up!” David called out to you, you hadn’t realised David was behind you, his tall frame taking large fast steps toward you making his way through the door that was propped open.

“Why’d you speed off? I saw you wait for me off stage for a sec then you vanished. I was gonna ask if you wanted to sneak off and go get coffee, luckily I’d seen you through the window” he smiled down at you once he caught up, your face was flush and red. It’s like you couldn’t even look at him, you’d made your self feel like a child with a one way crush.

“Just needed some air, big crowds, it’s all new to me.” You answered him, you both walked in sync with each other. You allowed yourself to take deep breaths, it was all abit overwhelming. From being around people you now considered family every day, to falling in love, to having to do press and premieres. To knowing it was all going to go back to how it was before again.

“Wanna sit?” He gestured toward a bench, and you obliged. You had seemed to manage to find a quiet haven away from the craziness that was just beyond a wall.

“Y/n, what’s really going on? I know you were anxious but on that stage, it’s like you’d lost your sparkle. And I know for a fact you can handle your anxiety like a badass.” he was so in tuned with people, especially yourself.

“I don’t know, I guess I was in my own head. Which I shouldn’t have been. The fans had come from far and wide. And I sat there, like an idiot” you looked toward your feet, kicking at the dry, dead leaves that lay on the floor.

“well, despite what’s going on in that head. You did well, I could tell you were struggling with something but the fact you got up there and did it anyways. I’m proud of you” he once again smiled at you, nudging you lightly with his shoulder.

“Thank you David, I’m so proud of what we’ve all created. But those crowds dude. They’re intense” you said whilst letting out a long breath,

“Y/n, wanna know something funny, the interviewer slipped her number in my pocket whilst we were leaving the stage! That’s an old school trick if I ever did see one.” He laughed, suddenly the jealousy came bubbling back in your stomach again, you gave a pathetic attempt at a laugh back trying to hide the hurt but failing miserably , you were never an actor.

“Bless her, I’m sure some horror film buff will make her happy” David said as he took the piece of paper out of his pocket and crumpled it in his fist. You looked at him,

“Your not going to text her?” You questioned, genuinely confused.

David looked at you, raising an eyebrow, “Why would I want to text another woman when I’ve got the woman I want right next to me.”

Your eyebrows knit together,

“Y/n, have you not caught on yet? You think I let just anyone paint my nails” he stated, as if the question was rhetorical.

you chuckled, genuine this time, “Yes David, because you’re so sweet if someone asked if they could paint your nails you’d let them” smiling at him, he was a man to be cherished.

“Well that’s besides the point, y/n. I am absolutely crazy about you. Silly. Head over heels or what ever you want to call it. I’m in love with you. And I need to tell you now, before you have to go back, other wise I’d never do it.”

You grabbed his arm, hooking yours onto his, relaxing into the bench and crossing your leg over the other in the process. A smile so wide slapped on your face you’d look manic to anyone walking by.

“Good, because im in love with you too. And thank god, because it means I don’t have to be jealous anymore” you smirked at him, as he turned to look at you, a grin plasters on his face too.

“Jealous nelly are we? I could tell you weren’t fond of that interviewer” he said as he leaned in, to finally kiss you.

[firstkanaphans]

That one ask/reply shitting on THK and GMMTV in general is really.... something. 🙃 I think you and @invisiblegarters already expressed most of my thoughts on that but I just want to add that based on every Jojo interview I've ever watched (and I've watched a lot of them during Only Friends), I never once got the impression that he's being forced to worked with branded pairs and, as you pointed out, it's actually kind of insulting to suggest he's having these pairs forced onto him and has to write stories he actually doesn’t want to tell just to suit those pairs. During OF I saw a lot of talk (from the same circle of people who are now criticising THK before a single episode has even aired) about this too (about Jojo probably being forced to keep SandRay and TopMew together just because the actors are branded pairs) but everything always pointed to the opposite being true: Jojo (along with the other OF writers) wrote a script where 2 of the couples are together at the end and one is not. And he chose the actors according to that story, NOT the other way around (he chose branded pairs to play those 2 couples because he always planned on them to be together and therefore felt branded pairs would fit that kind of a story/ending).

Not to mention I thought Jojo being a simp for Khao was common knowledge, but I guess not? But yeah, uh, anyone that has ever watched any of the Soonvijarn videos knows this. It was only a matter of time before Jojo got to work with Khaotung tbh (and clearly wants to keep working him and First, given he chose to work with FK immediately after he already worked with them). Directors have faves and it's very clear Khao is one of Jojo's.

The only thing I will agree with that original post on is the fact that it'd be nice to see some of these branded pairs act in projects solo or with a different partner. However, that doesn't have to mean they should stop working with their branded pair altogether. I don't see why they couldn't do both. Though honestly, for me the main determining factor is what the actors themselves feel happiest doing. There are certain actors who definitely do not/did not enjoy being stick in a branded pair and that was visible from the moom. I'm glad for those of them who are no longer in branded pairs, since that's obviously not something they wanted. However, FK are not one of those pairs. From everything I see of them right now, they both feel happy and fulfilled working with each other. The moment they stop feeling that way, I will stop wanting to see them act in shows together as a couple. People seriously need to stop being so vehemently against branded pairs as a whole. (There's also a lot of hipocrisy going around: Branded pairs are totally fine if it means these people will get to see a pair like MaxTul play a couple in multiple series, but as soon as a GMMTV branded pair acts in several BLs together, branded pairs are suddenly bad and are holding the actors back. Double standards much?)

[This ask was sent in response to this post, but I would just skip down to @invisiblegarters addition because it's the only part worth reading]

Yeah, there’s an anti-GMMTV branded pair movement going on here on Tumblr and I don’t understand where it came from or what its purpose is considering early GMMTV pairs such as OffGun and TayNew are exempt from criticism. 

It seems to come down to just a fundamental misunderstanding of the genre. In romances, the two main characters end up together. If they do not end up together, it’s not a romance. It does not matter if the two main characters are played by a branded pair or not. This is just how romances work. 

Not to mention that these shows are conceptualized way before they are ever cast and are oftentimes based on novels, so the casting has literally no bearing on the story at all. In the case of THK specifically, Jojo has been working on that script for at least two years. FK weren’t even a branded pair back then!

To suggest that queer characters are only getting happy endings because a company is trying to sell fan meets is incredibly insulting to not only the queer creators who make these works, but also the queer viewers who want to see a happy ending for themselves on screen.

[hummingbirdspark]

My Halloween Costume 2024!

This year I went as Rabbit from Steam Powered Giraffe! The costume has pieces I got online, things I got from my local costume shop and things I made myself!

Fun facts:

The leggings I got online and drew on with sharpie! I still had marks on my legs days after!

Unlike my Jonny D’Ville costume last year, this one had 0 pockets! I ended up keeping my phone in the side of the corset, since it was a bit too big for me

I made a skeleton umbrella prop out of an old umbrella (where I come from, umbrellas are for cowards) and I actually carried it around when trick or treating despite the fact that it didn’t help at all with the pouring rain (but that’s what the hat is for)! The handle is a little sticky (cog knows why) but it doesn’t bother me because in the costume I’m wearing gloves

Here’s me with the main reference I used for my costume!

I attempted to make the little silver buttons like Rabbit has on the gauntlets using pins and cardboard, but the cardboard ended up being ripped off the pins by the end of the school day on Halloween. It’s okay tho, they were kinda uncomfortable anyway!

The boiler plate I created to hold 2 glow sticks and tested it with leftover pink glowsticks (the final product of course used blue). I used little pieced of cardboard with hot glue on top to keep the glow sticks inside the boiler plate, but even so they ended up popping out from time to time and I would have to re-glue the top on. I used a combination of pin backs and more button style fasteners and it did end up breaking when I went trick or treating, but I will get one more chance at a local convention.

The hairpiece is made of cardboard and hot glued to two bobby pins. It broke the first time I tried to use it, but I glued it better after that and was more careful with it and didn’t have problems again!

I was kinda lazy with the wig- all I did was throw it in a ponytail and try and blunt the edges of the pieces that were not in the pony tail. I didn’t treat it at all and it gets really tangled and doesn’t have the best texture. I just didn’t have any dry shampoo or fabric softener!

Lastly, here’s what it looks like under the jacket and corset! I cut up my long white gloves into white arm thingies and shorter white gloves. The white arm thingies I used on my arms so that if the jacket was not covering my arms fully, I’d still look all impossium-y. And making the white gloves shorter makes them easier to take off!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN ROBUT ENTHUSIASTS!!

[snurtsnurtcreations]

Hey real quick have some unedited Thoughts before bed

Imagine going on a road trip with David Hesh Walker...

Imagine him blasting music and you both shouting the lyrics together at the tops of your lungs. And the first few are classics/oldies, you know, stuff like Livin’ on a Prayer and Stayin’ Alive and Mr. Blue Sky and the like, and then a couple pop songs go by.. and then a Laufey song starts playing, just some cutesy sappy love song (because he’s a loverboy at heart lets be real here) and he starts fumbling a little, reaching for the console all ‘haha how’d that get into the playlist? so weird lol’ and you laugh a little and bat away his hand and happily sing along and he relaxes bit by bit and towards the end of the song quietly joins in

Imagine him sharing in your excitement when you point out the cool cow or tree or house that caught your attention

Imagine him pointing out a car he thinks is pretty and you getting into a playful argument over what constitutes for a pretty car or not

Imagine stopping at a gas station and he leans into the window to chat with you as the car’s filling up, and when he’s done and you suggest getting snacks he agrees, but just as you reach to open your door, you can hear the laughter in his voice as he tells you to wait, wait!, and then he’s running around to your side of the car and pulling your door open with a bow and a sweep of his arm and a twinkle in his eye and you thank him serenely all “oh thank you good sir” but then you decide to mock him a little too by handing him a penny you find on the ground and saying “here’s your tip, taxi-boy” and he gasps in mock offense and chases after you (he finagles out a proper tip from you later: a good ol smooch)

Imagine he pulls the windows down and turns the music up to the max, and the wind is roaring in your ears and messing up your hair and the both of you are laughing up a storm

Imagine the gps giving confusing directions and he ends up taking a wrong turn, and he complains at the gps as it reorients itself and keeps monotonely telling him to make a u-turn. Imagine him getting frazzled trying to figure out the right way to go, cursing at the gps, and then imagine the tension seeping out of him as you tell him “aw well, we’ll just take the scenic route, huh?” and mute the gps and give him the directions yourself, referring to the map

Imagine the loving glances he keeps darting your way, watching as you stick your hand out the window and play with the wind and absentmindedly mumble the lyrics you only half-know to whatever song is quietly droning on in the background

Imagine him holding your hand and pressing a kiss to the back of your hand, fingers intertwined, all while being dutifully focused on the road

Imagine it starts raining not-so-unexpectedly (you both saw the clouds but you’d been so certain that they won’t start raining), a heavy smattering of droplets hitting the windshield and dropping in through your open windows and you squeal and the both of you hurry to pull the windows up and he laughingly tells you ‘I told you so’ and you shrug sheepishly

Imagine him slamming on the brakes as a deer darts out in front of the car and he curses in surprise and his arm had shot out to keep you in place at the sudden stop and you both are as wide-eyed as the deer, hearts racing. Imagine letting out all the air in your lungs as the deer moves on and then the disbelieving laughter as a couple more deer follow the other one. Imagine David slowly gets the car back up to speed, now being more careful with his surroundings, but keeping a hand settled on your thigh just as reassurance that you’re there and safe and nothing happened

Imagine oohing and ahhing at the sunset together and him slowing down a little to let you get that perfect shot of the sky in between the break in the treeline

Imagine he’s telling a silly story as you’re almost at your destination and you giggle-snort and he feels such a sudden surge of pure love for you, he stares at you with the softest gaze, your hair still messy and wind-swept from earlier, the street lights bathing you in a soft light....

[makedonsgriva]

anyway I had a thought today where crown prince xie lian is younger than everyone else.

He is probably 6-7 when he gets mu qing and feng xin (who are 16-17) and they coddle him a lot. Basically XL is their baby brother and baby prince wants to be as strong as his older brothers because they are both so cool!!!

baby lian meets hong-er on the streets one day and please gege can’t we keep him??? I don’t have friends!! You two don’t count cause you’re not my age. Please just please!!!!

So that’s how the trio becomes a quartet and feng xin and mu qing are not only the body guards of the prince but also baby sitters of two very unruly kids who are never up to any good

(They are not getting paid enough to deal with them) (it’s a damn good thing they love the fuck outta those kids)

anyways XL starts his training and ofc Honger tags along. they grow up training together, challenging each other, competing but falling in love at the same time and yeah celibacy is easy for XL except every time he sees HC his thoughts go haywire

When XL ascends, he has three generals by his side.

When he falls, he has two because honger died in the war

And XL truly thinks he is to blame. He went from being the darling of the heavens to someone who has now lost everything. he can’t bear the loss of his beloved

(And he never even got to confess)

Ofc HC keeps him company as a ghost fire because he’d never let his beloved be alone. (XL does not know who the ghost fire is because knowing the love of his life is not at peace would hurt him immeasurably) FX and MQ try their best to stick with him but circumstances deteriorate and they are forced out of his life once again

although this time, MQ does stand up for XL in front of the 33 gods (and gets subsequently banished from heavens). In the end, he still has to leave XL. FX gets forced out of his life after the entire sword ordeal and XL’s subsequent mental breakdown.

Unknown to XL tho they are still both watching over him from a distance because ain’t no way they are leaving their baby bro like this

When XL enters his calamity era, they both lose their minds and are trying their best to subtly stop XL from doing the worst things but THAT STUPID FUCKING GHOST ALWAYS FOLLOWING HIM AROUND WILL NOT STOP ENABLING EVERY BAD DECISION XL TAKES

fx and mq are losing their minds. when xl lies in the streets for three days, they try their best to disguise themselves and go help him but that NAMELESS GHOST!!! He does not let them!! “Your highness would be heartbroken when he realizes you two have seen him in such a state and he’d never forgive himself and you two suck at disguising yourselves anyways~”

wu ming does end up getting dispersed but not before XL realizes his true identity and absolutely loses his mind with grief because how did he manage to lose his loved one not once but TWICE and both the times it was HIS FAULT

He gets banished from heavens again because ofc

knowing xl won’t be able to cope fx and mq finally reveal themselves. xl can feel all ashamed of himself for his actions it’s fine they are not leaving him alone again and they will help him heal and move on

Except one night when the two aren’t paying attention, XL ends up running away. He can’t bear being around them, knowing they know what he did and how he caused honger’s death twice.

(fx and mq never blamed him at all. They were just heartbroken and guilt stricken for not being able to do enough for their darling brother)

Cue 800 years of searching.

This time when XL ascends, he is greeted by two powerful generals who have been reduced to a tearful mess because THEY FINALLY HAVE XL BACK WITH THEM!!! THEIR BABY BRO IS SAFE

they accompany him to mount Yu Jun as themselves and HC comes to XL’s aid

he does not reveal his identity but XL just knows this man is special

FX and MQ then tell him about Crimson Rain Sought Flower, the elusive ghost king who challenged 33 gods and crushed them all

(But he was super nice to both of them and it kinda freaked them out)

When XL meets San Lang. He knows. He just knows it’s Honger and feels like he can finally breathe again because in those 800 years he never once stopped loving him but he waits for him to reveal his identity to him because what is stopping him from telling him and fx and mq?

HC, meanwhile, is sort of embarrassed to meet them, not sure if they would be able to accept this new form of his. He missed them all dearly but he is just not able to move past his self doubts.

It is not until the cave of 10k gods that it revealed who HC really is and instead of FX and MQ freaking out, there is a tearful reunion

Um yeah. A thought was thunked. Bon Appetit