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folklauerate · 11 months ago

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2023 Fic Year in Review

Thanks to @a-regular-jo for tagging me!

List of fics completed

take my hand, wreck my plans, that’s my man series

The Yellow Tulips of Texas

an affair, three ways series

inosculation

cause I’m a mastermind (the west wing au)

in our perfect park

leave the light on

Santa Kate series

fuck it, it’s fine series

I’m on Fire

Modern Omega

Number of words written

502,159 😳

Your most popular fic

The Set Up by a laughably large margin. Although as I checked stats now to answer this question, I see that Bridgerton, Actually (my Love, Actually AU) is now second and it wasn’t before, quite recently actually! It seems it got a lot of holiday readership :)

Your personal fav

This is like asking me to pick a fav child! It’s difficult but I’d have to go with the professor au (take my hand, wreck my plans, that’s my man series). It came at a time where I was feeling uninspired and sort of adrift fandom-wise. Following the completion of Bridgerton, Actually, which was a behemoth and draining to write (though I loved it!), I was in the midst of taking some downtime to just… be. To consume without worrying about creating and to just reconsider. During that time, I read plenty of other things, including fic from other fandoms. I noticed tropes and things I simply hadn’t been exposed to ever/in a while, and found myself really drawn to the idea of an age gap with Kathony. Their fics feature them being near/the same age so often, in an effort to illustrate just how well matched they are. I wanted to do a sort of character study and love story when they had a significant age gap. I wanted to explore the ways Anthony might have been different if he was older, the fears of dying young (perhaps) abated but with no Kate to spur them forward. The Anthony I created in this AU was someone who had lived a bit of a life, hadn’t settled for a marriage for the sake of it, and had grown up and developed his own tastes in between teaching lectures and devoting himself to his family. I feel as though it can be popular to show Anthony devoid of taste or personality in terms of home decor or outside pursuits pre-Kate, and that simply wasn’t an option with him here. I really enjoyed developing this man with cultivated and exacting tastes. I’m getting rambly here so I’ll stop, because I could talk about this oneshot for a while. The point being—this oneshot marked a time of sort of creative freedom for me. When I started writing it, it felt nearly insane. I just wrote and wrote with no real reader expectation because I was writing a daddy kink in a fandom that really didn’t seem to have one. I was writing and entirely possessed by the story and characters and premise itself. I wrote that and nothing else for a while. I wrote it across continents and flights and subways and in my room, alone. I would text Kara about it nonstop and I’d post excerpts and just wrote it and didn’t think about it… and then it came time to post. I genuinely didn’t know how it would be received. And I need to add that it is far from the most popular Kathony fic ever, and it’s not even my most popular Kathony fic ever, but the response was nonetheless astounding. I genuinely couldn’t have expected the way it would be received and I’m so grateful for anyone who spent time with those words and maybe found themselves inspired to push boundaries in their own fic and writing.

Your fav scene

I genuinely can’t pick one. I think I’ve written too much hahaha. I’ll state a few that come to mind now;

In the Texas!Anthony AU I loved writing Anthony meeting Kate’s extended family. I loved giving her an extended family, filled with doting grandparents, noisy cousins, and all the fun hallmarks of Indian American kid life.

The papercut scene in the Prof AU.

Nearly the entirety of the spanking oneshot follow-up to the prof au

And also the Lover inspired fic in the prof au lol

I loved the Balmoral chapter of The Set Up, especially the beginning vignette of three; Charlie/Harry, Hugo/Willie, Kate/ghosts/legacy/history. The moment she lights incense and says a prayer in this really storied, old, English castle is unbelievably significant, I think, in ways that will come to play in the fic now.

So much of the roommates fic is a real love letter to NYC. I did a reread recently and was almost surprised by it myself? I think I’ve had enough time away to be surprised by it and I was. I know those places, I feel those places. I hope the sense of self comes across as significantly for the reader as it does to me.

Writing the aftermath of the shooting scene in The West Wing AU and Kate winning the election as well were really poignant. I cried writing them and I cry rereading them. They’re almost a brilliantly rebellious ode to hope in the face of the perceived hopelessness of US politics. Regardless of whether or not a president like Kate Sharma plausible, I center my politics and general life philosophies around hope. That fic felt like hope and belief in a better world.

A fic or scene that challenged you

Plenty! The Balmoral chapter challenged me a lot until I saw Angels in America and something clicked. I actually can’t think of more right now in a really specific way but I will say anytime I felt challenged I either ignored it or wrote through it. Writing through it was always the answer and right way to tackle it.

A line of writing you’re proud of

There’s definitely a lot I’m a proud of but I am currently traveling and CBA to trawl through over 500k words to find the line I’m proud of. There’s a LOT of prose I’m really proud of though. The recent chapter of Babel where I describe Simon’s party is some of my best work, I think. Sweet Like Honey (stepfather au) has some prose I’m exceptionally proud of. As does the Obsession AU. Some descriptions of Texas in the Texas!Anthony AU are gorgeous. If you can think of anything that stood out to you, let me know.

A comment that touched you

I genuinely treasure every single comment I’ve received and I’m currently working through responding to many (if you get a months late response,,, I’m sorry). I will take this time to impress upon anyone who might be reading that leaving comments can be so encouraging and I do love hearing from readers. Fic really does feel like I’m writing directly for you guys. And so it’s great to get feedback or excited squealing because it makes it less lonely and helps me feel like I’m a part of it with you guys. I love when friends comment, I love when people who I only know through excited screeching on ao3 comment, I really love it all.

Recently, a longtime reader left a comment on my recent update of The Set Up just to thank me for writing this year and it was so moving and so lovely I teared up. It was unbelievably kind and thoughtful. That really snuck in at the end of the year for one that just took the cake for me.

Something that inspired your writing

Everything. Angels in America. Echoing Jo by saying Prince Harry’s memoir Spare. A lot of Haladriel and Darklina works and writers. Bruce Springsteen. Lysistrata. Babel by R.F. Kuang. Little Rabbit by Alyssa Songsiridej. Babylon the film. Singing in the Rain. The West Wing lol. Dachshunds (English cream) and Greyhounds. The British royals. Kafka. Religious trauma. Guts by Olivia Rodrigo (specifically bad idea, right?). Wet Dream and Chaise Lounge by Wet Leg. The people who broke my heart and the people who helped me stitch it back up. My fellow writers and friends, always.

Your proudest accomplishment

Getting over a bad depressive episode and writing slump and purposefully refocusing my attentions to: myself, why I felt compelled to write, and the people who did love me and read my writing and made that clear, as opposed to the people who didn’t.

Do you have any writing goals for next year?

To finish The Set Up. To finish some Perfect Park drabbles and revisit the west wing au for some good election year distraction. And, maybe, to take a little break as I work on original things. I am not leaving, don’t worry. I have set some professional and personal goals for myself that require more of my emotional and intellectual time/space/energy and I need to refocus some efforts there. But I’m not done and I will be back. I’m tentatively planning something quite exciting fic-wise. If it comes to fruition, I’ll tell you all in time.

Tagging @grantairesbottle @amalinwrites who is never on tumblr but I’ll annoy her to do it, @bad-surprise @inkbugfic @ladykettlechips and Rama whose tumblr @ I always forget to do this lol

#fanfic year in review #Bridgerton fanfic

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the-bar-sinister · 3 months ago

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Bleeding, Broken, Mended (32218 words) by VickytheSnake, thesavagesabretooth Chapters: 6/?

Summary: Law is certain that he was 'rescued' just so Doflamingo could kill him himself, but Doffy has other plans. As far as he's concerned, Law's decade-long quest for revenge was nothing more than a sad misunderstanding. He wants to remind Law how things used to be. He wants to find a way to bring Law back into the fold-- back to him-- forever.

catch up here

Law was Doflamingo's protege, in training to become the next 'Corazon' of the Donquixote family— one of the most powerful members of the group. Sometimes that meant he had swordsmanship practice with Diamante, or pistol training. Sometimes it meant standing quietly in the room while Doflamingo himself conducted deals and negotiations. Sometimes, like at the moment, it meant sitting quietly at a desk with Baby 5 and Buffalo while Trebol lectured them about military history and theory.

It was interesting enough, sure. Military History and theory was…well. It wasn't as interesting as medicine. And it sure as hell wasn't as interesting as the Sora comics, and those had practically the same kind of lessons if you read the Germa 66 arcs.

So maybe it wasn't that interesting. He leaned on his hand, trying not to fall asleep as Trebol went on and on about flanking or something. Baby 5 was upright with attention, eagerly listening with that people-pleasing smile on her face ever since

Trebol had told her that he needed her to listen.

Buffalo, meanwhile, may have been drawing.

"— if you had been the commander at that battle?"

Law realized dimly that Trebol had asked him a question while his mind was wandering.

Law's head shot up and he answered as best he could. "Thrown a bomb at the enemy commander."

Baby 5 broke out into a tittering laugh, clapping her hands together. "That'd be the stupidest plan I've ever heard!"

Trebol pinched the bridge of his nose. "Admittedly that would certainly have the element of surprise," he said thickly, obviously thinking exactly the same as Baby 5. "But it's reckless, as always Law, and doesn't fit the situation at hand. I gather that you haven't been listening."

Law grimaced, rubbing his arm. "...sorry Trebol sir."

Baby 5 nudged his shoulder with a huff. "You shoulda been listening, like I was Law. If you keep this up you're gonna grow up to be stupid."

Buffalo looked up from his drawing just long enough to snicker at him as well.

Trebol sighed with his hands on his hips and swept over to Law's desk. "You're certainly not going to fulfill the young master's high expectations for you at this rate."

Law looked down at the table with a small frown on his face. "I'm not going to live long enough to, either." he said in a low and miserable mutter.

"Not with that attitude, huh?" Buffalo snickered.

Trebol again pinched the bridge of his nose. "The lot of you, I swear. Law, listen to me, I–"

He was cut off by a sharp, unmistakable knock on the door before Doflamingo himself walked through it.

"Knock knock!" Doffy cooed, swaggering in slump shouldered and smiling. "Sorry to interrupt the lesson, prof."

Baby 5 nearly fell all over herself sitting up and clasping her hands together with a coo of, "Young master!!!"

Law looked up from his, admittedly sparse, notes and waved to him. "Morning, sir."

Even Buffalo sat up at attention, and Trebol's manner immediately changed.

"Doffy! Well, I won't deny it's an interruption, but to what do we owe the pleasure?"

Doflamingo leaned against the opposite side of Law's desk. "You're not gonna love it, Tre, I'm here to hijack one of your students."

Trebol looked down at Law with something like resignation. "I thought that might be it."

Before Law could open his mouth, Baby 5 leaned halfway across the desk with a grin. "Is it me? Is it me??"

Doflamingo leaned over and patted her on the head from over Law's desk. "Sorry, Baby 5, for today I need you here studying. I need Law for another part of his training."

Baby 5 seemed rather content with the head pat, though Law saw her pout for a moment. It wasn't a surprise; Law got a lot of special training for the Corazon position, even if part of him felt it was kind of a hopeless endeavor.

"Another part of my training, Doffy?"

Doflamingo nodded seriously. "That's right. You up for anything, Law?"

Law stood from his desk with a wry smile. "I'm ready for anything that isn't more military theory." It wasn't that Trebol's lessons were boring, it was more— when would he ever be in a war? They were pirates, gangsters. Not military commanders.

Trebol, meanwhile Law noticed, had taken the moment to inspect Law's notes and was taking a red pen to them.

At that, Law had the good grace to look a little sheepish.

Doffy glanced at the notes with a smile. "Border defense and sneak attacks, eh? You can learn about that later, yeah."

With that, Law felt Doflamingo's threads wrap around his wrists and help tug him to his feet.

Law hopped to his feet with a wave to Trebol and the others. "Thanks for the lesson, Mr. Trebol. I'll be back."

As he wound his hand lightly around Doffy's strings, he followed him along with a curious tilt of his head. Doflamingo had high hopes for him, Trebol wasn't wrong about that. Those hopes meant that Law was often shuffled from strange lesson to strange lesson to learn all sorts of stuff that surprised him that he'd even have to know.

"Sometimes I think Trebol thinks books and theories are the most important thing in the world," Doffy chuckled conspiratorially after they were a little way down the hallway.

Law laughed, thinking of the older man and his library, and his stubborn insistence on the importance of his lesson. "Knowing him, if you gave him the choice between a treasure chest and a collection of old books he'd probably go for the books, Doffy."

"And justify it with an hour-long lecture about the pricelessness of knowledge," he agreed, nodding. "Trust me, I've been right where you are. Trebol's always been the same."

Doffy smiled down at him as he walked closely beside Law. Something about him looked more tired than usual, a little pale and drawn like Law often felt himself.

Worry pinged Law's mind as he leaned towards him with a serious furrow of his brow. Doffy wasn't feeling well? Or…maybe it was something more personal, more emotional.

He nodded seriously. "He's not wrong…I mean, knowledge is important. And I wanna learn, it's just…"

Doflamingo cocked his head, not interrupting, letting Law speak. Doffy often treated him that way, like a grownup, with important, interesting things to say that were worth listening to.

"I'm not a military commander, I don't know why military strategy is important for me to become the Corazon with…or if I'm even going to be alive to take the position by the time…y-you know. Corazon steps down."

Doffy put his hand on Law's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Trebol always told me that military strategy was important because it teaches you how to think in a conflict– any conflict, not just a war. And I admit, one of the roles of my Corazon is to give me advice on how to resolve conflicts, you know?"

Law noticed where they were headed– Doflamingo's room.

"As for if you'll be alive," he continued. "You will. I promised, didn't I? And in the meantime there are parts of being my Corazon you can do for me even now."

"You did promise, that's true…" Amber Lead Syndrome was terminal. But if anyone could do it, it was Doflamingo. 'Nothing is Impossible for me or my family' he'd always say— and Law believed him.

He tilted his head to the side as they approached Doffy's room. "Oh yeah? Like what?"

Doffy's fingers flicked and his door opened as if by magic, subtle threads shimmering in the wan light of the hall.

"Like keeping me company," he said with a surprisingly serious tone. "My Corazon is out on a mission right now, so this will be part of your training to take the station."

The room was a mess. Often it was disorganized and cluttered, but right now it was a mess. The covers had been pulled off the bed, and there was an empty bottle of wine tipped over on the table, too close to a stack of books. The wastebasket had been tipped over.

It must have been one of his bad dreams again…or maybe he was lonely? Even great and powerful pirates like Doffy got lonely sometimes.

Law shook his head with a huff, flicking one of the strings with his fingertip.

"Geeze Doffy, what are we gonna do with you?" he trailed into the bedroom. "But as your future Corazon…I'll do it. I'll keep you company, promise."

Doffy chuckled, almost sounding a little embarrassed and he picked up the bottle as his strings closed the door. "I had a bad dream," he admitted, confirming Law's assumption.

The whole family knew about 'the young master's' nightmares, an enduring mark on him from the horrible things he'd seen as a child. Right around when he'd been Law's age.

Law picked up the wastebasket, standing it up and tossing some of the scattered trash into it with a frown. It was something that they had in common. Childhoods marked by tragedy and death.

He was still stuck right in the middle of his, the memories fresh, but he imagined if he ever got to Doffy's age, he might have wound up haunted by very, very similar fits of nightmare-tinged memory.

He bit his lip. "I'm sorry, Doffy. We should do something fun to forget about it. Play a game of chess or somethin'. Unless you wanna vent, of course."

Doffy shook his head, his back slumped against the post of his fancy bed frame.

"Nice of you to ask, Law, but no, I'd rather be distracted. I was thinking maybe you'd want to do some reading with me?" His tired smile grew wider. "Not the kind of reading Trebol had you at."

Law's own smile grew wider as he tossed the covers back on the bed. "Really? Are we gonna read comics then?"

Doffy flopped down on the bed as soon as the covers were down and smiled widely up at Law. "Damn right we are. Grab that stack over there and come sit with me."

He scooped up the pile of Sora comics, and hopped onto the bed with Doflamingo with an ear to ear grin. He loved reading stories of adventure, of villains, of strange machines and stranger plots.

Doffy had introduced him to the Sora comics when he'd arrived and Law found himself very invested in the villains and their mad science antics.

Law immediately found himself scooped against Doflamingo with his back to his chest, like he was an oversized stuffed animal as Doffy opened one of the thick newsprint collections.

"We finished the last one, right, Law? This is the newest collection."

Law immediately leaned forward a little to look down at it.

"Woah…when did they release it?" Sometimes he tried to keep up as they came out in the paper, but the news coos were…sometimes inconsistent in this area, and he'd miss important updates.

"Just the other day," Doffy said, turning to the first page. "I haven't read it all yet either. There's a new bad guy team in this one."

"Wait, a new one?" Law thumped back against him with a grin. "Think they're going to be cooler than Sparkling Red and his siblings?"

"Guess we'll find out," he snickered. "I still love that your favorite team is the villains younger than you are. Well, I guess they've already made a hell of a name for themselves, huh?"

The so-called 'evil army' Germa 66 had been introduced into the comics around a year ago, about the same time that Law had started reading them. Doffy told him that they were based on a real mercenary company– supposedly at least.

"I mean…" Law pouted huffily. "They're cool! They've got all those gadgets and catchphrases to try taking a bit out of Sora's hide. And anyone who can give the marine hero a run for his money is cool in my book!"

He tilted his head "I wonder what they're really like."

"Work hard to be my Corazon, and maybe one day you can meet them," Doffy teased. "A mercenary army of evil would be great to have ties with, in our line of work."

Law felt a bit of a thrill at the idea, though he tried not to show it. If he became his Corazon, he could one day meet the mercenary army of evil, maybe even convince them to fight a marine hero together.

Maybe he and Doffy would wind up in the comics themselves.

With renewed excitement, he snuggled against Doflamingo and read. A tale of dashing adventure, where Sora barely escaped death by the skin of his teeth against a new and deadly threat from some mysterious island having set out into the Grand Line.

An army of warrior women intent on the eradication of men, it seemed. It was a punchy, exciting tale, and Law couldn't help but gush about parts of it to Doffy as they read, only to find eventually the leader of the Donquixote pirates was no longer answering.

—At least save for the occasional soft snore, leaned on his shoulder. Doflamingo was out, finally sleeping. Law flipped the last page of the book back and forth in his fingertips with a quiet smile. Maybe, if he was here, Doflamingo wouldn't have a nightmare.

Law woke up in darkness from the dream that had been a memory. There was a warm body wrapped around him from behind, but it was Bepo's, not Doflamingo's.

His breath caught in his throat, and he leaned back into Bepo's arms with a furrow of his brow. It'd been so long since he'd dreamed of the past. At least, so long that he'd dreamed of Doflamingo instead of the painful nights in the bodies of the dead.

He rested his head against Bepo with a soft sigh. It was a good memory…a good dream. And a reminder.

Before he'd left, he had good times with Doffy, it was true and he'd seen the more 'human' parts of him that Rosi had tried to scrub away in his stories of ideological evil.

Doffy woke up drenched with sweat, every muscle in his body tense enough to snap. He couldn't get his vocal cords to work right, so he thumped heavily on the wall of his cabin hoping Vergo, in the cabin next door, would hear him and understand.

The smell of fire seemed to linger in his nose. He tried to banish it. It wasn't real. It was just a memory. Why, thirty years later, did it still haunt him? Why did it mix now, in dreams with other violent memories of blood and pain?

Wasn't it enough to dream again and again of that night on the wall at the mercy of the mob, without having it mix with Rosi's limp body? With Monet's? With the people of Dressrosa screaming as his strings tugged at their fates as his mind roared with mad desperation?

He thumped on the wall again.

The door flew open not a moment later, Vergo entering with a grim frown on his face; a concerned frown.

"Doffy…a nightmare?" he asked as the door shut behind him and he hurried over to the bedside.

He nodded, still unable to make his voice work, and tugged Vergo even closer with his threads, before looping his arms around him tightly and pressing his head to his stomach.

He finally managed to rasp out a croaking, "Yeah," in answer.

Doffy desperately needed a drink but he'd been drinking all day, and the day before, and the day before that. He was as wet as a fish, and he was starting to feel a terrible headache at the base of his skull.

Vergo wrapped his strong arms around him and held him tightly to his stomach. He was warm— his devil fruit power often made him feel warm— and firm as he brushed his fingers over the back of his head.

"You don't gotta talk, Doffy. I got you."

Doffy clung to him like a lifeline, like a thousand nights he had when they were children together, taking long, deep breaths and trying to calm himself against Vergo's warm body. Trying to remember that he was here, and now and safe, and not somewhere far away and long ago.

It was harder than it had been in a long time. It was harder with the new faces in the dreams. But Vergo was there. First Corazon, brother not by blood but of his heart. Vergo who he'd almost lost, but was still there.

Eventually he felt his thundering heart start to slow, and the heat from his own body dissolved into clammy cool.

"Could you get me some water?" he asked in a small, rough voice, slowly loosening his hold on him.

Vergo placed his hand on top of his head, and nodded once before the contact vanished and he meandered over to the table and its pitcher. "You got it, Doffy. Sounds like it was worse than usual."

"Yeah." Doffy flopped back against the headboard and stared up at the ceiling. "I think I might have drank too much tonight."

He felt the bed creak as Vergo sat on the edge of it and pushed a cool cup of water into his hand. "You've been drunk for a few days straight, Doffy. I think you've more than hit your limit."

He took the cup in his hands gratefully and took a long drink before leaning his head on Vergo's shoulder. "Yeah. It's been a rough few days."

Really, that didn't even begin to cut it.

"It's been a fuckin' mess, emotionally speaking, sir." Vergo leaned on the bed, one arm around him to rest on his back. "Started when Violet saw Blackbeard hunting down Law, right?"

"Yeah," Doffy nodded, keeping Vergo close, his warm body a reassurance as he greedily drank the water his body was desperate for. "After Crocodile had us check out the situation with Shanks' ship I had her keep an eye on Blackbeard. And then she saw Law."

She'd seen Law, and Doffy had immediately downed half a bottle as he told everyone to change course, despite Trebol's concerns.

"And you rushed to rescue him. LIke ya always did. Even when he was yelling about being our sworn enemy."

"I sure fucking did," he said heavily. "It was all instinct. I just couldn't– I—"

He shook his head and handed Vergo back the empty glass, leaning away from him slightly and trusting that his former Corazon would know what he wanted.

Vergo took it with a solemn nod. "I get it, Doffy. I get it. And I already told you. I'm behind you 100%, like always."

He stood and wandered back to the pitcher to pour him another glass.

"I asked him at dinner." It was hard to talk about, but it was easier than thinking about the dream. Anything was easier than that. "I wasn't going to, but it came up naturally. I asked him to come back to the family."

Vergo paused, holding the glass in his hand as he turned with muted surprise. "...you did, huh? Did he say yes?"

"He didn't say no." Law hadn't said no. That was… that was huge. That was almost overwhelming. In Dressrosa, Law had thrown his words back in his face. Had taunted him. Had made coming back to the family sound like the most absurd and disgusting impossibility in the world. But this time… "He challenged me on it, Vergo. He told me to convince him."

"Huh.." Vergo walked over and handed him the cup with a raise of his eyebrow. "Sounds like a gamble that might pay off then…he didn't say no. Given what you told me of the last time, I'd have thought he'd toss his plate in your face the minute you asked."

Doffy took the cup and drank thirstily from it again before once more leaning on Vergo.

"That's exactly what I was afraid of too. I almost didn't even ask. But then I was thinking, he probably doesn't even think I'd want him back." He took a deep, shuddering breath, remembering his initial conversation with Law when he woke up. "You know he didn't even know my brother stole the fruit from us?"

Vergo brushed his fingers through his hair again with a low huff. "Hearing it isn't exactly a surprise…not with the way Rosi tried to use him to deliver a message to the Navy."

Doffy remembered that he was repeating himself from earlier in the day. Vergo had either forgotten the conversation they'd had before (likely) or he was humoring him and pretending like Doffy wasn't a babbling, nervous wreck of a man who was talking in circles. (Just as likely).

Doffy leaned into Vergo's comforting hand and took another long breath. His hair was absolutely disgustingly full of sweat, practically matted to his skull, but he knew Vergo didn't mind.

"Yeah. He didn't know. And Rosi spent all those months telling Law I was some kind of inhuman monster who used people up and threw them away." He felt his voice hitch and tremble, and he tried to control it with another breath. "And of course killing him sealed the deal that it must be true."

"Because Law was a scared, dyin' kid." Vergo said. "with no context for any of it, and a bunch of lies from a guy who thought you were the devil incarnate. So he had no idea why you killed Rosi that night. Right?"

"Yeah," he rasped, closing his eyes. "He told me he thought I killed Rosi for trying to save him."

That gave Vergo pause…that gave him a moment to stare at Doffy in open surprise. "You're fucking kidding me."

That sealed it. Vergo had forgotten the conversation from earlier. That was fine. He didn't mind repeating himself. Especially not now, when it gave him something else to focus on than the nightmares.

Doffy shook his head against him. He tittered nervously, thinking back on it once again. It seemed even more absurd now, here in the dark of the night, than it had in the galley earlier that day when he was first telling Vergo about it.

"Nooooope. Isn't that the stupidest fucking thing you ever heard? I laughed, Vergo. I fucking laughed when I heard it. Then I remembered he was barely 13 fucking years old, and— and he spent the next 13 years apparently acting on a bunch of complete lies. Like a big… a big fucking misunderstanding."

"A big, deadly fucking misunderstanding." Vergo muttered quietly. "...because of course it was. A 13 year old kid who trusted us got convinced he was surrounded by monsters by a scaremongering marine, and spent years on a quest of revenge for the guy when all he ever did was lie."

He flopped his body on Vergo's chest, and thumped it lightly with his fist. "I just wish I hadn't fucking shot the bastard right then and there. I know. I know why I had to. He was a marine. He hated me. All he wanted was to fuck over the family. He couldn't be reasoned with. But it just— it feels like a fucking mistake, sometimes, Vergo."

"I get it, Doffy." Vergo murmured down at him, his chest making a hollow sound as it was thunked. "I do. You did what you had to do, but if you'd managed to find Law, maybe you coulda explained it before you had to take Rosi out. Or…hell. I dunno."

"Yeah. I've been thinking about that. I think about it a lot." He closed his eyes, taking soft, deep breaths. "And I know Trebol thinks that it's the same way with Law, but I don't want it to end the same way. Law's not a marine. He's never been anything but a pirate. A pirate and an angry fucking kid who wanted to find somebody to hurt for everything he's been through. You and me know just what that's like, huh?"

Vergo nodded seriously, and the expression on his face spoke to the memories playing behind his sunglasses. "Damn right we do…it's something we've got in common. All of us."

"I want him back, Vergo," Doffy growled. The nightmare was starting to fade, and the water had taken the edge off his headache. "I want him back and I think he wants to come back. Why else would he have told me to convince him? That's practically a 'yes' with extra steps, right? He just needs time to process how wrong he's been all this time. He wants me to remind him how good things were when he was part of the family."

He looked up plaintively at Vergo, his face mostly in shadow and behind his glasses, like Doffy knew his own was. "Right?"

Vergo reached up and gently pushed Doflamingo's glasses up his nose, before he leaned in to squeeze him tightly to his chest.

"Right," he rumbled. "He wants to be convinced, so…convince him. Bring him home, Doffy."

Doflamingo leaned into Vergo's hand and smiled. Bring him home. That was exactly what he was going to do. It was 13 years too late, but…

"I'm gonna do it, Vergo. Better late than never."

The poker game had wound down leaving nothing but a mess on the table and one by one the family members had excused themselves off to bed. Doffy, unusually, had been first to go— drunk as a lord, as they say— and the others had followed slowly after him, until it was only Trebol and Diamante left at the table across from him.

Dia was quiet and about half way through a cigarette. Trebol had lost count of how many it was that night. Trebol didn't smoke, and frankly he wished the rest of the family wouldn't– it was hell on his fragile lungs– but he never said a word about it and he never would. At least Doffy had never picked up the habit; no, drinking had been Doffy's vice since shortly after they'd met.

Doffy— Trebol was worried about him. He was sure Doffy thought he was mad at him, but he was worried. Worried sick. Worried enough to raise his voice. Worried enough to tell him what he ought to already know.

"You're up late," Dia said, breaking the silence as he crushed out his cigarette butt in favor of swinging his guitar onto his lap.

Worried enough not to be able to sleep.

"Don't want my company, old friend?" he grumbled, leaning on his arms on the table.

"Hah. I didn't say that, Tre." Dia strummed a few soft notes. "Can't sleep, huh? Because of Doffy?"

"If I can't sleep, it's because we have an enemy on board the ship, Dia, and he isn't even chained up. An enemy who I hope I don't need to remind you destroyed-– at the very least— ten years worth of our hard work and a very comfortable position only a few months ago."

A few more notes filled the air. "Oh trust me, Tre, I don't think I could forget that if I tried. What a fucking fiasco, am I right?"

"Right!" Trebol's derisive grunt of agreement brought on a coughing fit, and he muttered an apology when it was finished. His nerves always made the illness that had plagued him since he was a child flare up. When he'd caught his breath and wiped his mouth he stared over at Dia, who was still playing the guitar, politely ignoring him as usual. "So why the hell aren't you worried about it?"

"Did I say I wasn't worried about it, Tre?"

"You didn't say it, but you're acting pretty damned relaxed, Dia," he accused. Admittedly some of that was probably just Diamante's manner. He could be very casual, almost carefree sometimes, right up until the moment where he'd gone completely feral. Trebol often found it a little bit charming, but right now it was getting on his already tender nerves.

"What good would it do to get all fucking wound up? Besides, you're high strung enough for both of us. I keep telling you, you should really take up smoking. Take the edge off."

"And I will tell you again, it would fucking kill me, Dia." He dabbed his nose with his handkerchief. They'd been having the same argument for thirty years. It was a formality by this point.

"Sure, sure." Dia waved his hand dismissively. "Anyway, if you're actually worried about having an 'enemy in our midst', I think you can ease up on the tension. It's just Law. His two crewmates don't even have devil fruits. He's seastoned up, in the middle of the ocean, and surrounded by the family. It's not the kind of situation like Punk Hazard or Dressrosa where he had a bunch of crazy allies from fuck even knows where. Any one of us could take Law in a fair fight, and any two of us could take him even with that fucking power of his. Right? So relax."

Trebol took a deep breath. He was right of course. Trebol hated to admit it, but he was right. The only reason that Law had scored such a devastating hit on the family was the allies he'd brought in at the last moment. The situation in Punk Hazard even Trebol had to admit had been firmly under control— right up to the moment it hadn't been. And that had been thanks to a chance encounter with the damned Straw Hat pirates. Law was very much on the backfoot here, essentially alone, and probably completely demoralized. Trebol did realize that.

"I guess, we both know if he was going to try something completely reckless he'd have done it already," Trebol grumbled. "I was waiting for it the minute he woke up."

"You mean like when he was a kid? Attacking without thinking and just going for the throat?" Diamante chuckled and shook his head. "Yeah I mean I was waiting for it too. Losing his whole crew like that, I figured there was a good chance he'd just be suicidal again."

"I suppose we don't have any firm proof that he isn't. He'd probably have tried something already, but he was biding his time on Punk Hazard."

Trebol remembered the day they'd met the kid, reckless and unstable, ready to throw his life away just to hurt someone else. He knew that Doffy felt a lot of empathy for Law, but Trebol could see the key difference. Doffy wanted to hurt people, but he was smart, and he knew the most important thing. That your life was the one thing you couldn't recover from losing. Law's sense of his own impending doom had destroyed his instinct for self preservation. It was an excellent trait in a lackey, and a terrible weakness in a future executive. He'd warned Doffy again and again back when Law was being positioned as the next Corazon.

For a while, while they were monitoring the situation on Punk Hazard, Trebol had wondered if Law had finally learned what they'd been trying to teach all along. But who knew, at this point?

"He could be biding his time, yeah." Diamante shrugged. He noodled on his guitar for a moment. "But I stand by everything I said. If he tries anything, it'll be over in ten minutes."

"That's exactly what I'm afraid of, Dia," Trebol sighed, finally admitting it. He wasn't worried about Law actually managing any kind of large scale destruction at this point. They could handle him. Law, he was sure, knew such a thing would be a suicide attempt even if it wouldn't stop him. But that wasn't the point. "I'm afraid of Doffy getting his heart broken again."

Diamante let a sweet, plucked note hang for a long moment in the air between them before he smothered it with his thumb.

"Knew it. And there's where I can't fucking blame you, Trebol. Doffy walking into a kick in the teeth of heartache is a real fucking possibility."

"I'm glad you actually agree with me." He was relieved, honestly, to not be the only one to see it. To not be the only one worrying about it.

"Obviously I do," Dia huffed. "Doffy's only been fucked up by Law for more than a fucking decade. We both know he has a complex about losing family. And the fact that the one who took Law away from him is the same person who gave him that damned complex in the first place? Yeah. Yeah. He is primed to get his goose cooked on this."

"So what do we do?" Trebol asked finally, exasperated and lost. "I've been trying to come up with a plan of action but everything I come up with is worse than the last. If we kill Law behind his back he'll be sick about it for months. If we let Law break his heart again, if Doffy has to kill him, he might never recover!"

"As usual, you're thinking about it too hard, Tre." Dia put down his guitar and he reached over the table, putting his hand on Trebol's hands. "Here's what we do. We let Doffy make his move and try to win Law over. If it goes south, which it probably will, I'll kill Law and Doffy can be mad at me. And then we'll get him a new orphan. A really sad, pissed off one. Doffy hasn't had a new orphan since before Dressrosa."

Trebol was pretty sure the loss of Law was in fact the entire reason Doffy had stopped bringing home orphans in the first place. Trebol couldn't deny that he rather missed having children around, however, and the family had gotten unfortunately smaller lately. But he was surprised that Diamante of all people was suggesting it.

Trebol twisted his hand on the table to wind his fingers with Diamante's. "I thought you hated when we brought in orphans. As I recall, you were pretty pleased when he stopped."

"Sure," Diamante nodded, squeezing his fingers. "I won't pretend I'm thrilled with a bunch of annoying brats around, but if it makes Doffy happy? You know I'd do anything for him as much as you would. Doffy's been like a kid without a puppy. Get him a new project kid and he'll be able to move on."

Trebol sat limply back in his chair, his hand in Diamante's. "I fucking hope so, Dia. Alright, we'll go with your plan and wait it out. What do you think the odds are that he wins over Law, really?"

"The odds?" Diamante laughed, leaning forward with a grim grin. "Snowball's chance in hell, Tre. But hey… you never know. On the Grand Line you get weirder weather than that all the time."

He rolled his eyes. "Very funny, Dia, but I get what you're saying, and you're right. There's no way of telling. Ordinarily I'd say that it's completely impossible, but…"

"But it's Doffy, right?" Diamante said with a smile."That kid can do anything."

"So indeed," Trebol sighed.

Diamante hopped to his feet, slinging his guitar across his back. "Come on, old man, let's get you to bed, or you're going to be a worse grouch than fucking usual."

"Old man," Trebol huffed indignantly, clambering his way to his feet. He let Diamante help him up. "As if you're not almost as old as I am. As if we're not both pushing fifty by this point."

"Speak for yourself, Tre, I'm a youthful 45."

"Bastard."

"You should shave the beard if you want to look younger, you know."

"The beard makes me look dignified."

"It makes you look old."

Trebol had to admit as they bickered their way through the ship's corridors, that he was feeling at least a little better about the whole ordeal. At least now they had a plan. All he had to do now was wait, and keep a close eye on Law.

#doflaw #doflamingo x law #donquixote doflamingo #trafalgar law #trafalgar d water law #third corazon law #one piece #fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #archive of our own #ao3 #fic: one piece deicide

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chunkymamatam · 7 months ago

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Hi omg welcome back! Thank you so much for the detail on your description about the classes! When and if you have time, I would love to hear more! Have you had classes with Crewel yet? And are there any other teachers aside from the ones we know from the game? Thats something Ive always wanted to know! Also, have you gone to Sam's shop yet? How is he? He is my favourite staff member!

Oh and how long did you stay? Did you experience any events ingame and maybe some that werent in the game? Have you gone to anyones homecountry like the events?

PS: If there are too many questions, feel free to chose some to skip! I dont want to overwhelm you :) <3

It's not too much to answer the questions! There's only 2 asks now including this one and the other one if for one of my fanfic blogs so I should have enough energy/time now lol

First The rest of my classes for the current semester:

Animal Language Class

No Magic required

Consists of basic body language of different animals that might accompany you on your journey through being a "Proper mage" as Professor Trein would put it lol. This includes cats, dogs, rats, etc (basically any animal you can find in a Disney film.)

As the class goes on you learn how to decipher what they're actually saying verbally and non verbally. Unlike here animals are sentient, they will make fun of you later trust me. Ace and Deuce are frequently the victim of this lmfao

Its pretty difficult for me personally but I'm bad at communicating with humans so I wasn't really expecting any less lmfao Its as difficult as learning any new language in all seriousness so if you find that hard then welcome to the club I made cookies.

Difficulty: 4/5

Potions/Alchemy (Creation/material studies)

Magic materials will be provided by class instructor, minimal magic is needed from the mage

Consists of different creation techniques, what materials have what properties, what the different potions do, etc. There's a potion for anything and everything, most only having temporary effects but some are more permanent (base level and under specific conditions). Honestly this is one of my favorite classes. Its the most fun in my opinion.

It's not at all difficult because we're allowed to have our recipes at all times.

Difficulty: 1/5

Spell casting

Magic required

Now this is where being magicless really sucked (I still got a really good grade). I wasn't able to participate much in the begining and I was stuck memorizing spells I would never be able to use. I shit you not this man (The prof) looked at me and said

"You may not have the proper abilities to cast spells but I'll be sure to turn you into a grimoire of them by the end of this class"

Honestly stayed true to his word ngl. The amount of notes and textbooks and reciting the damn things, practicing proper spell casting formation/posture. I could instruct the other students at this point. I'm having flashbacks just thinking about it lmfao

The class consists of the actual spells, the motions needed to enact each spell, the proper posture to take when casting. We learn what each spell does, and the proper situations to use them in, etc. It is mostly just actually casting spells though and a I've only relatively recently learned how to use magic. I'm getting there with the help of Azul and my professors tho.

I wouldn't say its the worst difficulty wise but my memory is decent when it comes to academics.

dificulty: 3/5

Astrology

This class consists of studying the stars, constellations, planets, and the moon cycles and how they affect the magic we produce.

"Just as the ocean is affected by the moon and the stars, so too is our energy and magic."

Corny shit but accurate and factual lmfao. It's a really easy class and that's really all there is to it. It's mostly so you understand why your magic is stronger/weaker on different days. this also used as a reference in other classes. Like "X spell is more affective during Y Moon cycle"

Difficulty: 1/5

There's definitely more classes that I don't know of yet but we'll get to them eventually!

''Have you had classes with Crewel yet?"

Yes! I'm actually his favorite student weirdly enough lol. He's chill as long as you act right (paying attention to the lesson, doing your classwork/homework, etc). This man fr defended me from these bitch ass guys who were like

"She doesn't even have magic why does she have the top scores????"

To which he responded "Maybe if you were as diligent of a student perhaps you could also be part of the top scores, until then however, return to your seat"

Never felt safer with a teacher I swear.

"Are there any other teachers aside from the ones we know from the game?"

Yeah. I can't remember their names right this moment cuz I haven't been back there in a minute. My mental health has been ass and I fell out of love with shifting for a long while but I'm back now! I'm hopefully going back soon. I miss my boys and my classes. Mostly my boys tho. I'll have to share who they are and what their names are after I go next.

"Have you gone to Sam's shop yet? How is he?"

I have! Actually when I got my monthly allowance from Crowley (I manifested that in with the intention method cuz I'll be dammed if that cheap bitch fucks me over) it was the first place I visited. He sells damn near everything you need to live on campus. I got soap, an African net sponge (its called Savanna net sponge cuz ✨Afterglow/Sunset Savanna✨) and some lotion. I barely had enough for my groceries after that month. I was living on Ramen and the school allotted lunch (。﹏。*) This being said be prepared for Sam to over price everything. This is a rich people school and I mean eat the rich and all but PLEASE HAVE MERCY

As for how he is as a person, he's really chill. Very nice but he is still a salesman so keep that in mind with your interactions. He may have mercy if he's feeling generous (pity) lmfao. Jokes aside hes actually pretty nice outside of his business. He allowed me to talk to him about struggling with living with Vil for that month with his unseasoned dry ass chicken 😭

"How long did you stay? Did you experience any events in game and maybe some that weren't in the game?"

Currently I'm dealing with STYX and Idia's overblot. Up until that point its been about 6-7 months over there. Everything in the main game happens so fast and in such quick succession. I've experienced the Halloween events, birthdays, and the New Year events. I didn't participate in Sams event cuz I was dealing with living with Vil training for the SDC/VDC and calming down from everything with Jamil. TBH there might have been events that weren't showcased but I was just too busy with the main events and classe/hanging out with other students.

"Have you gone to anyone's home country like the events?"

Not yet but we are staying at Rooks many homes while on our way to STYX to rescue everyone rn. Hopefully soon tho because Idk it seems like a lot of fun to learn more about my friends and their homes.

#shifting realities #shifting to desired reality #reality shifter #shifting community #reality shifting #shifting blog #shifting antis dni #anti shifters dni #shifting to twst #shifting to twisted wonderland #shiftblr #desired reality

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cayennesugar · 1 year ago

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yo i know you didn't technically reblog my ask post butttt i figured since most people like getting asks i'd send one over! any headcanons on the rescue bots status as a team made entirely of triple changers? or in heatwave's case, a quadruple changer? also feel free to just talk about whatever, you can totally just shoot random headcanons off if u feel like it!! 💕

Hiii! You literally dragged me out of my den- Buckle up buckaroos, this is long-

HUZZAH, Optimus is letting all the bots stationed in the safe and developing areas on Earth (including Prof Baranova’s lab and Faxian) choose another vehicle mode, including Heatwave ‼️‼️‼️ this is gonna be a REALLY interesting and chaotic experience…

Heatwave: Heatwave is (probably not) satisfied with whatever he already has, but he would scan a tank whenever he gets the chance, Kade obviously encourages him no one ever took him to museums because of this, but knowing Optimus is letting the bots choose whatever they want, no one can refuse and reason with Heatwave and his deep interest with such vehicles.

Salvage + Boulder: Since Griffin Rock is constantly and rapidly advancing in technology, Boulder and Salvage want to help! Salvage is considering becoming a bulldozer like Boulder. Boulder wants to be a crane to help lift heavy things to higher altitudes. Graham is really happy and supportive about this.

Chase: Although it seems unlikely, Chase had always wanted to experience the thrill of chasing crime from the skies: A police helicopter! Blades had tried many times to talk Chase through it, as he is a helicopter himself, but gave up as Chase kept pulling several papers he typed and printed out himself explaining why he wants to add a helicopter to his list of his desired vehicle modes. (yes, he has a whole list of vehicle modes he wants) Chief Burns greatly questions Chase’s sanity along with everyone else’s.

Blades: The burning feeling of jealousy that rises whenever he sees Dani getting along with the sports cars on the team, including Bumblebee, and his fear of heights that never seems to go away, Blades desperately wants to have a sports car as his third alt mode and try to “fit in.” Yeah, I’m referencing to the episode ‘odd bot out’ Blades had a private talk with Dani and Chief Burns about this and they finally understand his point of view. They fully support his decision.

Blurr: Everyone is horrified of what Blurr will choose, especially Heatwave, though he is more annoyed than afraid. After the incident of Blurr almost blowing his cover by grandly interrupting a race, he did not let that hold him back despite still feeling extremely guilty about it.

Blurr chose to have the Koenigsegg Jesko Absolut as his third alt mode and professor Baranova just about fainted and heatwave exploded with complete frustration, Quickshadow questions her place in their little race matches they have every now and then now that Blurr has made his decision. Every time she and Blurr walk by each other or interact, he flashes her a snarky smirk, making Quickshadow want to beat the living frag out of him, the only thing stopping every bot from doing so physically is the law (and Chief Burns) Blurr is quite proud of himself for this, but Quickshadow warns him to stay close to her during earliween and anytime that any outsiders and tourists enter the island: Remembering Quickshadows experience during her first year on Griffin rock, Blurr obliges.

Servo: Nobody expected Servo out of everyone on the team to speak, or I should say, bark up about what he wants. To make this sweet and simple and just as horrifying as Blurr’s case, Servo wants to become a Tibetan Mastiff. High tide immediately lightens up at the thought of having a bigger, more intimidating dog on his ship deck, CeCe starts crying when she sees a picture of the said dog breed, Chief Burns instantly becomes even more concerned for the well-being of his family.

Hightide:

“I already got a giant ship that transforms into a Megabot, I’m personally already a submarine, do ah really need anything else??? OH, I KNOW HOW ‘BOUT AH BIGGER SHIP!?!?!?!?!?! HAHAHAHAHA-“ *maniacal laughter while Heatwave sobs and yells in the background and Optimus simply blank stares at his old comrade, deciding whether or not to question or support Hightide’s decision.*

Quickshadow (saving my fav pookie for last): for some reason, Quickshadow instantly becomes quiet when the opportunity of scanning a new alt mode is brought up to her. Optimus and Hightide, knowing her better than anyone else since she served alongside them on the front lines during the war on Cybertron, approaches Quickshadow in a way that won’t startle her. Once Quickshadows emotional state is revealed to the rest of the team, they immediately come to the conclusion that the reason for her sudden emotional instability was because of what happened during her first Earliween on Griffin Rock. Quickshadow is approached again about this;

“I have thought about it, I do not think I would like a new alt mode, the vehicle mode I already have is an all-terrain anyway…”

It is true, Quickshadow has powerful rocket engines that can aid her in both bot and vehicle mode, she can turn into a submersible and can drive up to incredible, staggering speeds on the road. Earliween wasalready approaching seeing it is almost November, so everyone decides to keep Quickshadow close to them and support her decision of not choosing another vehicle mode. Optimus promised to stay for Earliween too, as last by as the reconstruction of Cybertron does not bring up any sudden issues in his absence.

And once again, the rescue bots are in chaos.

I really enjoyed writing this. Hope you enjoyed reading! ❤️❤️❤️

#rescue bots #tfrb Boulder #tfrb Salvage #tfrb Heatwave #headcannons #tfrb Chase #tfrb Graham #tfrb Chief Burns #tfrb Kade #yes I’m tagging everyone #tfrb Blades #tfrb Servo #tfrb Hightide #tfrb Dani #tfrb CeCe #tfrb Professor Baranova #tfrb Optimus Prime #tfrb Quickshadow #tfrb Bumblebee

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whentherewerebicycles · 1 year ago

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I can’t stop thinking about that class I visited a couple days ago and about the basic classroom management issues that the prof leading the class seemed wholly unable to address. the class is a cohort program that has met together for three quarters and in the intro game they played it was clear that they have a moderately positive rapport with each other (they don’t seem super close but they got along and were willing to get into the game). but the second we went back to the tables it was like… the girls all sat together in the front of the room and were super focused/engaged in the activity, and then the boys (plus one girl) clustered in the back of the classroom, immediately got out their laptops even though I asked them to keep them shut, and started just talking through the entire presentation. like at one point I was standing right next to their desks, clearly listening in, and they just ignored me completely and kept loudly discussing a project they were working on for some other class during our class time lol. and the whole time the prof just sat in the back, clearly seeing this happen but seemingly totally unable or unwilling to intervene, which of course just signals to kids that they can do whatever because no one cares.

I’m not like mad about it or anything, more like I’m fascinated by it as a teaching challenge!! I think if this were my program, I would:

use a learning communities model where I put them in mixed-gender learning groups from the outset and keep those groups stable for 3-4 weeks before switching to new groups

build lots of small rapport-building exercises into group activities… like just little things where they’re actively naming and praising each other’s contributions, or exercises that teach them how to actively take responsibility for their fellow group members’ participation (inviting each other in, asking follow-up questions, deliberately connecting back new ideas to something someone brought up in the previous discussion, etc etc). like really commit the time to helping them build relationships with each other! and put the boys in situations where they feel less peer pressure to disengage to look cool and can instead participate fully because their participation is expected and recognized/valued by their group members.

no tech in the classroom period

more meta work where the groups are reflecting aloud on like, what makes class fun and engaging for me? what makes the time fly? what makes it seriously drag? and then developing like… not codes of conduct exactly but more like collective group norms for how they want to be and act

the prof kept downplaying the amount of work required for the homework and emphasizing how easy/low-stakes it was going to be to complete I was like ooh man that is BAD signaling. it presumably means that kids often don’t do the work and you’re trying to talk them into it by lowering standards or emphasizing how easy it is. but all kids hear is, this assignment is totally pointless, my prof doesn’t care about it, why on earth would I invest my limited time and energy in something that’s basically just busy work. you gotta have real, substantive assignments kids have to work reasonably hard to complete (and that they’ll find reasonably rewarding to complete bc the assignment is well-constructed and they can feel they’re doing something worthwhile!). and you have to be CONSISTENTLY clear and direct about why the assignment matters to their learning in the class and to you.

perhaps MOST importantly though… I don’t think this program involves 1:1 mentoring with the prof outside of the class. like they meet with the prof maybe once a quarter outside of class. it’s just not enough time to build relationships!!!! I’ve visited this class twice now and both times the prof sat apart from the students and didn’t really interact with them much. and I feel like her not intervening with the behavioral issues was probably because she’s tried/failed in the past or because she’s afraid she would fail and lose face in front of them and the guest instructor. I just feel like kids will generally (not always! but generally!) give you back the amount of respect and emotional investment you offer to them. and if you don’t really bother to spend the time getting to know them and their personalities you can’t really expect to have any influence over them in classroom management type situations. like when I sat down with the off-task group it was obvious within five minutes who was the popular charismatic kid who maybe felt like the activity was a little too easy for him, who was the kid who seemed to feel a little out of his depth and was acting out/goofing off to cover that up, who was the kid who kinda wanted to be on task but was trying to fit in by following his peers, who was the loner kid who had just attached to this group because he didn’t want to sit with the all-girl table, etc etc. and maybe my assessments were wrong but if I were their teacher I would use that initial info to guide relationship-building and to try to build trust with the kid! like maybe the kid who felt out of his depth needed some 1:1 time with an adult who affirmed his ideas and drew them out a little further so he could make more connections, and eventually as you built trust you could start working with him on some of the underlying feelings causing him to disengage in group settings, and then when you were facilitating in group settings you could make sure to name his good contributions or ask questions that set him up to look thoughtful/smart in front of his peers. or with the charismatic popular kid I feel like you can do SO much with those kids over time to get them to really feel like leaders in the class and to feel a sense of positive responsibility towards the kids who are having a harder time getting engaged. plus if a kid feels like the work is too easy you can really work with them to find ways to make it more challenging and rewarding, which in turn makes them feel like you respect their intelligence/abilities and really care about them getting something meaningful out of the class. instead of it becoming a popularity contest of teacher vs. visibly disengaged popular kid/ringleader you can work to make it more of a team thing, like we’re working together to make this experience a good one for everyone and I trust you to be a partner in that because you have influence over the group and others look to you as a model. idk but you just can’t do any of that work if you are afraid of the kids or are telegraphing to them that you don’t feel up to the challenge of dealing with them or if you just seem checked out!!!!! and this is not to blame the teacher I have no idea what’s going on in this situation or in her own life, but also just like I think often teachers become overwhelmed and think the class or some group of students have turned against them and can’t be brought back, or they feel like they have to ‘manage’ the class but aren’t confident they can do so and so withdraw from the task and try to ignore disruptive behavior, but like… it’s almost never a lost cause!!! but you have to do the relationship building work and you have to be there among the students talking and laughing with them and cajoling when necessary and pressing a little to get more out of them and communicating to them that you are invested instead of doing the isolated sage-on-the-stage thing or hiding out in the back of the room on your laptop. idk!!!

#teaching

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inconsideratekidney · 23 days ago

Text

11/8/24

hey y'all

what the fuck. um. yeah, what the fuck.

what are y'all's plans for the next 4 years?

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i truly hate when professors ask basic questions like we're in elementary school. why are you babying me before you treat me like a well-respected researcher?? we're asked a dumb easy question, dumber than what we should already know, then we're asked to do something way out of our experience and what we should be expected to know.

this happens to me in multiple classes and i'm still so shocked

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

today is friday i know, but i have been catching up on a lot of work things n such. i have also finally had time to sit down and play the sims, on my laptop and tablet, and i feel more calm now. my grades have finally improved (not that i've bumped up some of those failing grades bc my prof hates everyone and doesn't allow resubmissions), but we still have like 4 weeks, so i just have to keep it up now. i'm feeling better, and would like to continue to do better.

picking classes for next semester feels like a doozy, i'm dropping one of my majors to make it a minor and that means i'll graduate next next spring? ew. gross. i have to fix that or something.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i created some of my friends in the sims and myself, all in my eyes of course. i didn't want to do it based on pictures, i just did it from memory. i made everyone based on how i see them and myself as how i want to see myself...they came out pretty good, i want to keep going making more, but so far i made people i know the best. we'll see where i end up. i might just end up making a house full of interpreters....lol

i have so many ideas for what to build--i focus more on building, but creating sims is fun as well, just not my most favorite--i want to build so many complex things, but it's so hard to start and my computer can barely handle it.

i'd love some ideas for what to build, for example, right now i am planning on making a house that technically has one room, but has split levels. i've seen youtube shorts on them and i've pasted the video below if you're interested, but they are so interesting even if every video i see they always forget a bathroom. i love doing challenges as well, like the plumbella challenge, and there's another one similar. they generate random style, color, theme, etc. and give you rules and a specific amount of money you can use. you also always get one setback, like you can't use cheats, or you can only use certain items from one pack or just base game, or that you have to do it only from birds' eye view... they are all so fun. i also want to finish making my mansion i am currently working on. it's so big and it's so hard to fill every space...

i also wanted to build a beach house, one of the videos i've also linked below, based on a reference i saw. it reminds me of where my family goes on vacation--those big beach houses we never stayed in cuz they're so god awfully expensive. they are so cool to look up on zillow or other rental websites. like big dream homes. i'd love to build a beach home eventually.

videos:

micro apartment 1:

https://youtube.com/shorts/RlauAXoxtls?si=DKH1FTDpkCid3Gv5

micro apartment 2:

https://youtube.com/shorts/kbdseYjig4s?si=Z-mbMA1OrnbwFdo7

coastal house:

https://youtube.com/shorts/VKC0h-6sSeI?si=LpiDh13v2yj1jbC5

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i type "i" way too much. all i do is talk about myself and reflect on myself and how much i talk. obviously, this is my blog, but i always feel that i overshare and should shift my attention to more pressing matters. alas, i am in my existential identity stage of life--early adulthood, so i don't feel all too bad. and for the possible 3 or 4 of you reading, i'm sure you're used to this and you're still choosing to come back, so i can ease my anxiety on that one. i still talk about myself in general way too much. i harp on this because i know other people are experiencing life for the first time as well--i'd love to let others have thr spotlight whenever possible. although, i do take way longer to process my life happenings than most it seems, so i prefer to process in my own way. i enjoy having a platform to share my insanities on. i do still get sick of myself, though.

anyway, my point is anxiety ruins my life and it affects me everyday whether it is desired or not. (see what i did there i eliminated every possible "i" i could have used in that sentence and then i used many "i"'s in this sentence cuz i like being self-aware and illuminating my hyper fixations like the freak i am.)

it is also apparent that reading can be much more enjoyable when the author isn't constantly saying "i did this" or "i did that." sentences and ideas can be easily digested by using the third person, or even an unidentifiable "it." when something happens and you mess up and want to apologize, what do you say?:

"I'm sorry I upset you."

or "I'm sorry you are upset."

one is more self-aware and puts the blame on oneself, but isn't the other as well? regardless of what one person does, the other could be upset by that specifically or not. you could alternatively say:

"I'm sorry what I said/did upset you."

or even "I'm sorry you are upset because of my actions."

which sounds better? which is most "correct"? which one feels more authentic?

i experienced this first when my mother told me i had to say "I'm sorry I upset you." it pissed me off because i didn't do anything crazy (in my eyes) and she still got upset, but in those situations, you have to do what your mother says even if her asking you to reword and acknowledge you upset her upsets you in the process...

see what i did there again? i used "you," i love writing. oftentimes i still use "i" because it is the most accurate statement. why else would i do it? i could sit and write more and more about things that happen and affect me, but not using "i" defeats the purpose. you could think i am talking about something else totally different. it's more short and concise. why say many word when few word do trick, amirite? and with that this section is concluded with the idea that my emphasis on myself is the whole reason i sit down and write a blog. (ew, not me starting with "and" writing about something trying to be more formal. ew.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

lol. lol is the best word for my life. it's the easiest thing to use. so simple, when there aren't emoji options -> lol, when the setting is uncomfortable -> lol, when i don't know how to end a sentence without a period -> lol, when i want to appear less rude or direct -> lol, when i don't feel like you can tell i'm making a funny -> lol, when you're making a funny -> lol. it's simple.

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anyshways, how is everyone's day going, how was your week?

this week had some things happen...but first trans woman for the house!! yipee!! i hadn't heard much else so far tbh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i almost didn't post this blog again, but since i started it and really did a good chunk of it, i have to post it now. i'm still behind on my work and am scared for the weekend tbh. i have to do a revision of my draft paper and send it to my prof who won't change the grade, but will give me feedback before the final paper is due....yipee...so generous of her.... i stg everyone almost failed or actually failed the midterm and did poorly on the draft paper as well. she just doesn't give a shit. no extra credit offered, no resubmissions, virtually no support for any of us failing. -_-

i hope to pass this class with a decent enough grade, but mainly just to pass the class is my goal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it's late, but i want to play the sims again. it's so much fun and i love it. it's truly a game i keep coming back to bc of all the different aspects of it. i hope if i get a new computer it doesn't reset my data... cuz it's different on every computer i'm pretty sure. it's different if it's on steam compared to just my computer, so i'm nervous. i could download all of the sims i made and all houses i've made, but i want the progress of this one family i have.....oofie, we'll see. i'll look it up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tldr:

wtf

basic questions

picking classes

sims and building

grammar and creative writing

lol

how are you?

annoying prof

sims!!

anywho, goodnight and toodaloohoo,

kD :p

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everythingseasoning · 2 months ago

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hello! i have questions for you i’m wondering about! you can answer them if your comfortable ^.^

what are your pronouns?

do you have a favorite drink?

pet peeves?

do you have any talents?

what song is on repeat now?

what got you into jjk?

are you in a relationship?

any allergies?

favorite color?

HELLO ! I LOVE QUESTIONS !!! (I’m very excitedly typing)

Pronouns - she/they! Lately one of my profs has been referring to me as “she” and … well … it doesn’t feel quite right, but for me personally I don’t care that much if people use she/her towards me. Sometimes I refer to myself as she and it’s totally good in the moment. Sometimes I don’t feel like a she. So she/they works!

Favorite Drink - I only really like water with my meals, or possibly green tea. I love sipping on sugary drinks when I crave that (i take very tiny sips and the drink lasts forever), but never ever do I drink anything like that with meals. I will also drink black tea with coffee creamer when I’m feeling like I need dopamine HAH. Drinking coffee or matcha unfortunately makes my body and brain feel wonky. I can’t focus and it’s like I’m in a state of numbing anxiety. Don’t like it. But l still, on occasion, will drink either.

Pet peeves - Mean people when existing near me. Narrow minded & judgmental people when existing near me. People who walk NEAR ME when they could walk further away, (I think I have a personal space need). People who reject others without engaging in discussion and critical thinking (a lesson for us all). When somebody isn’t emotionally intelligent and doesn’t try to be better. When somebody can’t break things down and explain a concept *and they’re a teacher* for fucks sake. When people don’t care about the wellbeing of kids and adolescents. When people don’t care about the wellbeing of another human regardless of age.

Talents - Yes, but the one I’m thinking about shall stay a secret because it’s not a very common skill and I don’t wanna give too much away. Other talents I can talk about… Well, many liberal arts teachers/professionals who meet me and get to know me more, say that I’d be a good psychologist. Oh. A talent I’ve had since I was little: understanding cats. HAHHA. (I was that weird kid who was lost in her own head when she was little, and I hissed at people)

Fav song atm - Strangely enough no song has been on repeat lately! That is unusual though. Try asking again another time, I’ll have an answer for ya

What Got Me Into JJK - Honestly, the hype around JJK is what led me to it AND kept me sticking around. I was seeking something to cure my depression (anime won’t do that, but it can certainly help but you also have to get consistent sunlight, socialization, feed your mind, body, soul, too), and I kept hearing about Jujutsu Kaisen. So I thought WOW this must be a really good one! The thing is that for me, with most anime it takes time for me to feel hyped about it… even with AOT, and AOT is goated… So for JJK, while I laughed A LOT in season 1, I also just felt underwhelmed. I did stick around though, because the fandom kept showing up on my timeline, and it was nice to feel like I was a part of something (seeing everybody simp over characters made me wonder what there was to this show that I was possibly missing out on), because at the time I really wasn’t doing well. It’s embarrassing to admit but it wasn’t until I started talking about it and listening to other people talk when I started seeing the nuance to JJK, and I began to appreciate it. (Don’t watch anime while half asleep and expect to walk away with an understanding of what’s going on…) I also really wanted to understand what others saw in JJK for them to hype it up so much.

Relationship? - No. Do I want romance? Yeah. Will I let myself be in a relationship anytime soon? Highly unlikely. I’ve got a lot of healing & growing to do before I can be a good partner.

allergies? - hurtful people who do stupid things and have zero interest in anyone but themselves (not to say I don’t pity them or have sympathy and empathy for them. I do. But I’m also allergic to them). Oddly enough, I was genuinely allergic to a certain leafy green as a kid. Outgrew that though! thank god haha

Favorite colour - I can’t choose! They each have their own beautiful feel to them. If I had to choose, I’d say green :) with yellow undertones, not blue undertones, though that’s also very pretty (if you’re an artist or take a basic art class with colour involved, ykwim).

Any more questions? Feel free to ask! Loved answering this :) Thank you so much for hopping into my inbox 🩷

#asks #about me #received!#strawberry answers #curious anons #thank u for asking!!#m talks #m answers #about m #mental health #journaling #journal

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imichelle-l-rigby · 1 year ago

Text

Reflections: Cillian Murphy’s Limited Edition

Season 3, episode 6

✨I think I’m sorta catching up 😊✨

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*I am a music prof (predominantly classical vocalist), and I LOVE listening to Cillian’s music choices! That being said, sometimes I won’t like a song simply because of a vocalist (it’s a professional hazard - sorry!) 👩‍🏫

** The following are my own observations/opinions. We may not agree, and that’s ok! That’s what makes music fun! 😊

*** I wouldn’t say I’m well-versed in Cillian’s music preferences, but I do enjoy them (for the most part). I always wind up adding to my own playlists after listening to Cillian’s recommendations.

———————————————————————

Let the show begin!

🎵Set 1 (Fading Stars II - Come And Play In The Milky Night)

Fading Stars II: sounds like film music. It uses the same motif over and over again, slowly filling out the texture

Come And Play In The Milky Night: this reminds me of 2010s pop music. It’s got that wistfulness that I associate with that decade! (Isn’t it horrifying to be talking about the 2010s as “old”? I just hurt my own feelings!)

🎤Talking Break:

Grand isn’t as good as tippety top. Noted.

Coltrane! ❤️

Wow! The last song is from the ‘90s!

“Sitting in cars that are moving”

“Scintillating observations”

🎵Set 2 (Over My Shoulder - Glass, Concrete & Stone)

Over My Shoulder: I am having so much fun with this one! 😎😆 I love the story of this song as well.

The Beggar: again, a very fun song! But so different from the other in this set. Rhythms are interesting.

Glass, Concrete & Stone: it’s cool that there are 3 predominant instruments, like the 3 materials mentioned in the title. Melody is strange and unexpected. I like it!

🎤Talking Break:

Cillian just wants a twin, specifically David Byrne. 😂

Every track on the album is in the same key, and it’s heard above the drone. I am intrigued.

🎵Set 3 (Ta Douleur - Hard-boiled Babe)

Ta Douleur: this is so urban, but I’ll be honest - some of the sound effects sound *ahem* rude? 😅 not offensive, just like someone ate something that didn’t agree 😂😂😂😂 and I’m afraid I’m not mature enough to move past that. 💨

Hard-boiled Babe: I didn’t expect the harmonica!

These French “girl pop” songs are a genre I didn’t expect him to be into! Goes to show you can’t pin this guy’s musical tastes down.

🎤Talking Break:

He’s forever better at French than me

🎵Set 4 (War Zone - Ethiopian Rock)

War Zone: another song featuring “sound effects” - I like how the war sounds get louder and louder, but also how the melody is just so “vacation vibe”. Good commentary!

Ethiopian Rock: melody is in the bass line. The echo is fun. It feels like a reinterpretation of protest rock, but I can’t explain why other than vague similarities.

🎤Talking Break:

Old Jamaican music! Cool!

🎵Set 5 (Hill & Gully Ride - Asa Branca)

Hill & Gully Ride: this is so fun! Had I not been told it’s Jamaican, I would’ve assumed Puerto Rico or Cuba. It reminds me of those dance rhythms that came to NYC in the ‘40s and ‘50s.

Ma Blonde Est Partie: this sounds so early country/country blues. Aka OLD American styles. And I find this amazing. This might honestly be my favorite song for this episode! I love the instrument mix (in ways it sounds Appalachian?), and the vocals are so fitting here!

Asa Branca: gorgeous! 😍 it’s got a little of everything to offer! The style keeps jumping around!

✨favorite set✨

🎤Talking Break:

Cajun! Now that makes sense why I’m hearing so many Appalachian sounds!

And a series about music in the US. I’m not going crazy for hearing all that! Phew! 😅

Ask a reasonable question - your question may not be reasonable or even adequately answered! But it’s not Brian Cox

Him trying to describe emojis is precious

“A mystery wrapped inside an anorak wrapped inside an enigma”

More Yorkshire Man

🎵Set 6 (See the Sky About to Rain - Big Pharma)

See the Sky About to Rain: Neil is a specific voice. It’s always jarring at the beginning, but then I settle in and can enjoy his vocals.

Your Name Is Snake Anthony: whoa! Talk about jarring - that segue was shocking! Quite atmospheric, and in some places the background is atonal or polytonal (no key or multiple keys).

Paralysed: so my autocorrect doesn’t like the way the title is spelled 😂😂😂😂 bless it’s American little heart. I suppose the bass line that plays the “short long” motif over and over is representing your heart beat. It also repeats notes over and over again, like it’s possibly paralyzed.

Big Pharma: interesting rhythms/punctuations. I don’t love it, but it definitely sticks with you. Will be honest, the “sniffing” sounds at the beginning was a little gross. Idk what it’s supposed to be, but it sounds like someone’s got a stuffy nose 🤧

🎤Talking Break:

Ah yes, the exclusive

A poetry reading!

🎵Set 7 (Geronimo Blues - Condition of Us)

Geronimo Blues: a pretty song (which I know is weird since the lyrics are pretty critical)! And Kae is good at this, but it always takes me a second to understand the lyrics. I guess my brain has a buffer with this accent 😅

Condition of Us: again- such a strong contrast! I love the vocals here! ❤️ I’m having fun!

🎤Talking Break:

I can’t even spell the verb for getting goosebumps. Dude. What even?! 😂

🎵Set 8 (I Walk on Guilded Splinters)

The archive footage - I have concerns about his speaking vocal quality.

I Walk On Guilded Splinters: honestly, this sounds like healthier vocal production than what I just heard. Yes - there’s a way to give a raspy sound without hurting yourself. ANYWAY. This is a cool song! I love the echos. 😎

🎤Talking Break:

Correct. No intro needed for Bill Withers

🎵Set 9 (Kissing My Love - Inside Straight)

Kissing My Love: 💃💃😍😍 ooh these vocals! The funk! The groove!

Inside Straight: gimme that jazz! 😎 and can we just talk about the subtle internal harmony changes in the piano chords? Like… that shouldn’t be that cool. BUT IT IS. And everything about this is fire! 🔥 although, the raspberry scat line was a little… special. Impressive, but … yeah. 😅

🎤Talking Break:

Miles played with everyone! He pioneered so many jazz styles it’s insane!

“Pugilistic kind of sound”

“He played with the Wombles!”

🎵Set 10 (Video Life)

Video Life: just getting flashbacks to the VHS era. 😅

🎤Talking Break:

Lots of pop

“One man Beatles” - I am intrigued!

🎵Set 11 (Somebody Made for Me - Every Night)

Somebody Made for Me: OMG HE DOES SOUND JUST LIKE PAUL MCCARTNEY!! 🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀 even the scoring sounds like Paul! Like… 🤯

Every Night: I AM SINGING ALONG WITH A PAUL COVER AND JUST LIVING MY BEST LIFE 💃😎😆

🎤Talking Break

You are correct, Cillian. All roads lead to the Beatles!

🎵Set 12 (Single Pigeon)

Single Pigeon: IT’S PAUL!!!! 😍😍😍 🙌 the vocal line is kinda all over the place (awkward?) and that reminds me of pigeons just wandering around 😂

🎤Talking Break:

“Doesn’t outstay its welcome”

🎵Set 13 (I Want You to Love Me - She Walks In Beauty)

I Want You to Love Me: I like the driving, powerful left hand bass in the piano against the right hand melody. And the vocal drone! That’s not heard often! The drone isn’t even always in the “right” key as she’s going through, so that’s also a fun quirk!

Must Be Tears: I love the “old school” production aesthetics!

She Walks In Beauty: gorgeous! So ethereal, which is what I get from the title alone. It’s hard to make synth and electronic instruments not sound cheesy, so I really like this. And more poetry!

🎤Talking Break:

Byron!

No it’s over already???

Yay covers! And jazz!

Coltrane!!! Finally.

“Mind yourselves”

🎵Set 14 (Wonderful World - Nature Boy)

Wonderful World: I do like the jazz, but I’m not enjoying the vocals that much. Strings are an interesting addition, though!

All I Need: more layering effects. I like this a lot! It’s got a swanky nightclub vibe to it. The piano solo is so satisfying.

Nature Boy: yes! 😎 the bebop is popping! I loooooove bebop/hard bop so much. It’s INSANE and I have so much respect for the art form. This is a great way to end the show!

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Thanks so much for reading! And dare I say it, I’m proud of myself for catching up - I think I’m only a week and a half late with this one! Woohoo! 😂

Tag list:

@iammrsrogers @deliciousnutcomputer @mariamoonie @brownskinsugarplum76 @look-at-the-soul @kj-davis @neverroad @teapothollow @thepurplearmyposts @possessedmarshmallow

#cillian murphy #Cillian Murphy’s limited edition #bbc 6 music

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