#and i told myself to stop here

[blazetbw-art]

Syd - "You got us into this mess!"

Sonic - "And I'll get us out, trust me~"

[084392]

🙊🙉🙈

[vynnyal]

Finally finishing totk

[epiphainie]

okay bear with me here because i'm not really sure where i'm going with this one but i've been thinking about buck asking tommy to madney's wedding for so long and like, it's such a buck thing, right? we make fun of tommy's initial reaction because he's experiencing the Evan Buckley Experience full-force and from the front seat for the first time. buck acts on his emotions all the time, he's instinctive, he's impulsive. even if he called tommy to get coffee that day with the forethought of asking him to be his date at his sister's wedding, it's still such a buck thing to do: it's extreme, it's a major jump, it's something probably not advised by any dating columns, and likely something none of the other characters would ever do.

yet i find it so different to every other time we've seen buck act Big because of Emotions.

we see buck be impulsive and emotionally-driven in so many different flavors: as a child to get his parents' attention (him accidentally hurting eddie is very reminiscent of this to me), on the job when he's being reckless to save someone's life, when he sues the fire department because he feels pushed out of his job, when he goes against the law and athena's word and tries to find maddie and doug, when he finds red's the one that got away etc.

but rarely do we see him take big actions driven by his emotions when it comes to his romantic relationships. the only thing i can think of him is following taylor to her dad's hearing because he's worried about her. and of course, the only major commitment/extreme decision he's taken in a relationship when he asks her to move in. because he fears she'll leave him if she learns about him and lucy kissing. and then later on when he tells her anyway on the day she moves in, after basically trapping her, because he can't deal with the subsequent guilt.

i don't like assigning positive/negative values to emotions but this is my way of saying how for the most part when we see buck act big and impulsive like this, the motivation comes from a fraught place. because he feels neglected by his parents, because the fear and the subsequent anger over losing his job which at that point he considers the only thing he has, because the fear and worry he feels over maddie, because the concern over taylor re: her dad. even him helping red is him projecting his own fears about his future on the guy. this is especially true regarding all the lucy/moving-in fiasco.

which brings me to my point about how him wanting to blow up the walls of his closet and introduce tommy to his friends/family only after one kiss and a date feels different. it's buck at his most buck; it's out of pocket, it's major, it bamboozles even cool cucumber tommy for a second. it's also probably the first time we see buck act like this driven by feelings of not fear, worry, anger, sadness, but by him feeling like he's ready for something and wanting it with tommy. it's such a testament to the intensity of his feelings. he's not even a hothead like that anymore, he's matured, but here he is counting on a feeling and jumping big like we've never seen him do on the show before, let alone in his romantic relationships. i adore it because it's so buck but i also adore it because it's so buck after seven seasons of growth and because of him looking forward to something, driven by feelings of "i kinda can't stop thinking about him" and "i'm free" and "that something could be with you."

[hulloitsdani]

@moe-broey THANK YOU!!! AND IM GLAD THE RUFFLES ARE APPRECIATED!!!🎉🎉🎉

But seriously this is the highest compliment, because this is actively what I’m trying to do when it comes to how I draw Kiran! I really want to convey how unabashedly charming this silly little tactician is. It helps explain how they keep the order intact on a social level and also why this keeps happening:

In retrospect, Alfonse never really stood a chance, did he?

Anyway I won’t lie, I did all this for the Loki bit. Please imagine that she’s just off screen for all these outfits hitting that exact pose.

[balmungkriemhild]

Hey Guess who's e-begging again. Sorry

hi i'm vio and i owe my psychiatrist $70 in two missing copays while i owe my therapist $35 and i need to get $50 worth of my stupid ass medication to keep me from going crazy in the head. i've recently been fired from my job and i can't find any work until who knows cause this job hiring facility my mom dragged me too would rather me go to some training for a career than help me with a job. here's my stupid ass paypal thank you have a nice day

0/155

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[sleepinginmygrave]

can someone explain to me why does my mum don't want me to be in my room and is forcing me to do my work downstairs 😃

[endwersed]

what happened to just backing out of a fic if it goes a direction you're not a fan of

[faunandfloraas]

It is kinda funny seeing people talk about Seungmin lately because he definitely has gotten more bold and confident for sure. He's also just getting opportunities to be perceived as an individual on his own as well for the first time in a while but it's still jarring to see people be like Aw he was always such a quiet goodie two shoes little nerd and it's like...... he was the one to leave and seek out his own vocal coach and blatantly talk about it, which of course lead to I.N and Lee Know also doing the same, he was the one to go on bubble and tell off sasaengs who used to camp outside their old dorm for invading members privacy but also because it effected other residents and staff at the complex, something that i'm certain upper management wouldnt have been happy about, and he wasn't curt or nice about it either. like he's never actually been a wallflower, he's always had a pretty strong backbone and seems to stick to his principals, its not really new.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

questioning sexuality is so exhausting

[ofbreathandflame-archive]

"Don't talk about Feyre's illiteracy because it's harmful and it's not her fault!

That same blog, two minutes later:

"Nesta is dirty! Look at her sleeping on unwashed sheets. Ew, she's disgusting. OMG look at her thinking these negative thoughts! What's wrong with her! What does she have to be sad for? Look at her sleeping with all of these men, she should be locked up for her sexual promiscuity! Thrown in a dungeon! Sent off to the human lands to die and live as a pariah.! She doesn't even wash her sheets how dare she speak on MY HIGH LADY! Why doesn't she just fuck Cassian -- the male she doesn't even know! Doesn't she see how much he loves her? You can totally tell by the way he ignores her when his friends come around! How he follows her around when she tells him no!

The same blog, four minutes later:

"I'd actually like Nesta if it weren't for her fans! It's not like I haven't said all of those things above! You know what ACOTAR is truly a story about three sisters!"

Yeah--y'all are not being very serious here. Either you care about the issues regardless of the person involved, or you don't. Nesta's depression, and the subsequent symptoms borne of it at the beginning of SF are...actually real symptoms of depression. Lack of proper hygiene, punishing yourself in the form is depriving yourself of care, not eating, and nihilistic thoughts. The book is dead-ass written straightforwardly; Nesta's negative thoughts are not meant to be taken at face value -- she does not mean them. SJM is not subtle by any means. How could she feel this way! She's depressed. That's literally what happens when you are depressed. Again--you guys are not serious about these topics other than the ammo they offer you. How are you mad someone talked about Feyre's illiteracy and then...you're follow up is that. Many of you are not very good readers, and I don't think you are mature enough to be consuming this series. How serious am I supposed to be taking your 'hurt' over introspection of Feyre's character when you guys always want to make a superiority and trauma comparison.

I swear to God the takes are getting...worse. It's even scarier considering some of y'all are actual adults. Ugh--its very hard to not say something when shit like this comes up.

[rapidhighway]

[pilonciillo]

lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety

[mistyycowoa]

Confessing my sins to the internet because my irl friends don't know my tumblr

I'm actually a horrible friend and I don't plan to change :)

I'll be a good friend to anyone I actually like and I usually don't associate with people who I don't like, but sometimes there will be an occasional lonely (usually annoying) kid that follows me around. (They're lonely for a reason.) I kinda hate people who are loud literally all the time but I can hold my tongue and this kinda person just doesn't leave because they're not being told directly to leave.

What do I do? I talk to them only when I need them, I make unnecessarily mean comments as a joke, I point out their obvious flaws that I know they have a hard time changing, and all while they still follow me around like I'm not kinda bullying them.

Sometimes I'll treat them like an actual friend when I'm in a good mood, but if I'm not, then the unfortunate victim becomes my emotional punching bag. (I have ways to quickly fix my mood and this is completely unnecessary and I could distance myself until I feel better like how I do with actual friends.) I think this is like. Breadcrumbing? Anyways yeah, toxic shit.

If any of your "friends" treat you like this, they don't see you as a friend. If they leave you doubting if they like you or not, leave you doubting if you're actually friends, they probably don't see you as a friend. (because that's the case for me :3 )

I'm a horrible human being and I don't feel nearly as bad as I should about it :)

[princesssarcastia]

wow haha you're conspiring with your partner's doctor to take them off birth control against their wishes? that's sooooo cool and romantic.