#and i really do support a happy and healthy functioning relationship between them

[conflictofthemind]

Thoughts on "Escape from Camazotz"

Oppressive Suburbia, Conformity, and Season 5 Themes

I've long thought that a major focus of Season 5 will be the contrast between the families of The Wheelers and The Byers, and exploring how non-traditional family environments can be freeing vs the oppressive structure of the nuclear family.

In a Wrinkle In Time, Camazotz is a planet controlled by the big bad of the book, the "IT", who forces the citizens into a conformity that resembles American suburbia. All of the houses the same, the citizens the same, doing the same things at the same time without individual identity. Without anything different. Different means a lot of things, but with Stranger Things dropping different in reference to Will's identity and the presumable themes of this season, it will heavily codify as queerness and how it threatens the cisheterosexual family model.

Henry was raised in the 1950s, a decade still revered by conservatives for it's traditional family dynamics that supposedly were the peak of culture and happiness for all. That was all a lie, of course, and Henry knew so as he shows to Nancy and Eleven during his monologue. The second most conservative decade aside from the 1950s in American society is widely considered to be the 1980s.

The Creels will serve in parallel to The Wheelers; the worst example of what they could become and the damage that this type of family could do to a child that is different in any way. Notice how Vecna selectively shows Nancy visions of The Wheelers dying, but not anyone else she may consider family or friends (like Jonathan).

That is; unless they change their ways and come together as a healthy functioning family facing their traumas, The Wheelers will be toast.

Karen has been moved up to a main character role this season. Ted's actor says the father starts to show up more for Holly (hold that) and realizes he wants to act differently. Holly has been recast. Finn has said Mike goes on a much more personal journey this season, and steps up as a leader.

Oh, also: the catalyst for all of this is that Holly goes missing. The contrast will help show how the Byers (including El and Hopper here) were able to pull together and help solve Will's disappearance, versus how the Wheelers as a closed off nuclear family grapple with Holly's vanishing.

Each of the Byers is in some kind of a non-1950s conformist relationship, but particularly Will (not in one now but we all know he will be). I think El might represent, after she breaks up with Mike, the fear of the unmarried woman being satisfied without a husband. The above shot really emphasizes my point.

I predict that Will will end up coming out to his family rather early on, and we will see all of them immediately accept him with little surprise or push-back. Will is a visible gay man who comes from an open minded non traditional family (divorced, non-married, adoptive) that is willing to have honest conversations.

But this theme will place the most focus on the Wheelers. Mike is the main character of said family and this will particularly focus on his arc, and his acceptance of his queerness in the midst of suburban conformity.

He is not visible, he comes from a Reagan-supporting family who don't communicate with each other. He is not particularly close with his family like Will is. He pushes his feelings down and tries his damn hardest to be normal despite it all. His trauma hasn't really been addressed at all. He is falling back into his usual habits - the one thing he dared to do different (grow his hair long) has gone back to how it was.

It's not all doom and gloom though. This season above all will be a redemption arc of the American nuclear family, how they choose to escape their conformity and learn to be there for each other, thus overpowering Vecna. Not that the Wheelers are going to end this personally.

"Great, more hysteria. Just what we need". "It's the news, now indistinguishable from the tabloids".

[animazi]

icl i fundamentally disagree with the 'oh the acolyte shows anakin could have left the order anyway actually so he's so much worse bc he had an easy way out the whole time' discussions I've been seeing, because, like. literally why is this even a topic of discussion? ok ok hang with me here, I'm doing a list.

there is literally nothing in the prequels that suggests this is ever an option for him. up until shmi's death he is happy with the order - most of the problems he expresses come specifically from his relationship with obi-wan not the jedi generally, so why would he want to leave. once shmi dies, sure I getcha. his mum died and the jedi have a significant hand in that, and then he immediately breaks the code and does a massacre. however, and some may have missed this, its a fairly small plot point, the clone wars begin. anakin is not only never characterised as the sort of guy who would back out of this conflict (esp since he was involved from the get go), but also there is literally no time between anything - aotc and rots take place over such short time spans, comparatively; we see quite literally All the events happening at once.

so why doesn't he quit in tcw/rots? again. there is a war on and he is directly involved. tcw shows him as having made personal connections with the clones, and if there's one thing about anakin that everyone should be able to agree on its that he sure has attachments. also, again, rots takes place over such a short span of time and he is fairly clearly not in the best place in like fucking any of it

it probably wouldn't even fix anything bro. anakin is not the central turning point of the war, not really. that's palpatine. with or without anakin palpatine still gets the war, and realistically if anakin leaves the order then war breaks out, he is going to turn to palpatine as one of the only people he is close to, and ergo probably falls anyway. maybe he doesn't kill the younglings but like. shit still happens, jedi still get order 66'd

No Please Understand One Busy And Isolated Woman Is Not A Full Support Network Stop It. ok so. padme isolation is something that I fully see in the films. I will not yap on about that now, but take it as read for this point (although. even if she has a great and healthy support network that is not the issue! you are still saying that padme, who has a very busy job and her own life regardless, should functionally drop everything to support anakin). a key part of support networks is that they are a network aka not one woman. look me dead in the eyes and think anakin and obi-wan (already not having a great communicative relationship) are still talking after he leaves. go on. try. realistically speaking once the war starts anakin is in an, if anything, worse position - his fatherbrothermentor is out there fighting and he cannot help, his wife is barely home, the senate is always busy, and he is so so jobless (again. here is where palpatine would swoop in...bro cannot win fr fr). and Again, One (1) Padme Should Not Be Responsible For Dealing With The Entirely Of Anakin's Issues. stop it.

I don't actually have a full point 5 rn I just like it when the numbers do this :3

so bonus not-quite point: tcw and the acolyte both explicitly say the jedi don't prep you for the outside world if you leave the order, transferable skills etc etc BUT ALSO does your ex-jedi have any records of employment? any space gcses or a-levels or space degrees? a letter of recommendation? are they actually skilled enough in say mechanics/engineering to be able to survive in a world where droids exist and clearly have a huge presence in those sectors? any any money to help them get a flat or smth (not applicable in anakin's case but worth saying anyway)?

in short. I don't think it's a fair point to make when criticising anakin. it relies on a really weird reading of the prequels that misses a) the war, b) palpatine, c) the inherent misogyny of putting the wellbeing of anakin, guy who is hanging on the same thread as my sanity after exam week, entirely in the hands of one woman, d) the lack of regard for how support networks are, in fact, networks, e) how fast everything happens in the prequels

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello, hope you’re having a good summer break. I’m an intp who’s probably been overcompensating for and overworking Fe, and I don’t really know how to ask for help.

I feel like I’ve come a long way in terms of emotional intelligence since my teenage years - mostly stopped feeling worthless, more action and task-oriented, reaching out to make new friends and care for close ones, and they’ve responded by saying I’m much more understanding and emotionally stable now, even coming off as extroverted - but it doesn’t keep me from feeling lonely. I’ve spoken with friends about feeling sad and unsupported, they would respond by saying they understand, but truth is I barely feel the connection. I’m happy for their company, they just don’t seem able to share my burdens, which are objectively my own. It feels like I’ve overworked myself so now my psyche is demanding that someone else take care of my emotions instead of me doing the work myself. A very subjective internal temper tantrum.

With my infp partner, I’m in this loop where I can sense she’s sad/anxious/unfulfilled, she wouldn’t talk about it because she couldn’t put it into words and also doesn’t feel the need to do so either, I could either try to cheer her up or accept that she’s in her own emotional state and simply wants company. I know and she confirmed that she’s lost interest in many of our common hobbies, but will feel sad if I pull myself away from her for alternative stimulation. But I need stimulation even if she doesn’t. I’ve expressed that simply sharing some of her life and thoughts takes a huge weight off my chest, I love hearing from her, but she insists there simply isn’t any event or thought she could share. I can talk, and she will respond happily. It’s just so draining especially since we’re long distance right now and can only communicate in words. It almost feels easier if I could just be obliviously content to talk to her about anything like I was several years ago.

I’m hoping that taking a vacation from work and study to go home will help me focus more on the things I love (reading, drawing, creating and experiencing life in ways that stimulate my brain) although it does mean a lot more time spent staying with family and other new social circles as well, which could also be a mixed bag.

--------------------

When you're in touch with Fe, it makes you more aware of your emotional needs. This is not a bad thing, but it can be a hard thing when you haven't yet learned the best ways to fulfill them. You say your self-worth has improved, which I take to mean that you see your emotional/social needs as legitimate and yourself as deserving of support? Believing you deserve love is the first step for many people.

Because Fe is the inferior function, it's safer to get to it through the auxiliary function whenever possible. For example, using Ne, are you able to visualize the ideal social interaction/communication/relationship that would help you feel more supported and loved? If you were granted control over other people for a short time, what would you make them do to better fulfill your needs? This visualization might give you a more precise idea of what you ought to be requesting of the people around you.

You seem to be implying that this romantic relationship is putting you in a difficult position of having to choose between you and her? I don't think that's the case. While I agree it is sad to feel forced to seek stimulation outside the relationship, a healthy romantic relationship should allow space for such a move. It is unhealthy to believe that one person can/should satisfy your every need. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Healthy couples should be able to live satisfying lives together... and apart.

I think a good way of looking at the situation is you have a need but she, for whatever reason, isn't capable of fulfilling it. It's nobody's fault but just the reality of the situation. It sounds like she's not as emotionally available as you would like, or not in the way you would like. Maybe when you first met, you didn't realize you needed emotional availability, but now you do. This doesn't mean the relationship has to end, though choosing a new partner better suited to your needs is always an option. When the things that brought you together no longer work to keep you together, then you have to find some other way to remain bonded. Relationships can evolve over time. You also need to come to an agreement that it's okay to get some of your needs fulfilled outside of the relationship. Be honest and transparent about every move.

It sounds like you've imposed an obstacle on yourself and now feel stuck because you really want it to be her to fulfill this need of yours. The fact is, no matter how much you want it, it isn't her. Face the fact and move forward accordingly. Grant yourself permission to take proper care of yourself.

[greaterstolenlandspolycule]

🍇🍑🍰for liesel!

🍇 What sort of friend are they? Where are they in the group dynamic? 

Liesel is, in some ways, a keystone species of a friend—sometimes easy to ignore, but vital to keeping the group functioning and happy (well, usually) and healthy. They’re the sort that runs interference and ferries messages between fighting friends, and makes them see the other’s side.

Additionally, they generally fill lots of additional sub-roles, depending on who they’re with. For instance, with Kanerah, they are a mischievous (and sometimes flirtatious) partner-in-crime, but with Amiri, they’re more of a supportive pseudo-authority figure.

🍑 What sort of traits does your OC look for in a Significant Other?

To be frank, most of Liesel’s relationships up until they meet their companions have been of the “mercenary coworkers with benefits” variety, due to their vulnerability Issues, and they’re not that picky about sexual partners, so the criteria have mostly been “not a total dick” and “fits somewhere within their very broad criteria for attractiveness.”

As for hypothetical romantic partners, though—

Maybe since they don’t have a strong sense of self, Liesel finds people who have a strong identity and are very determined admirable and attractive, even if they are like “lmao couldn’t be me”. Generally, even though it tires them, they love figuring people out—it’s like an exciting puzzle—and people whom they struggle to understand (more than the average person does, that is) fascinate and frustrate them, often in equal measure. This means that, in addition to very bold, self-assured, expressive people, they are also very attracted to people who are inexpressive and very even-toned (Tristian. This is why they’re attracted to Tristian. They want to untangle that Gordian Knot of an enby.*) 

*I adhere to @outeremissary’s headcanon. Because it’s just objectively correct. 

🍰 What's something your OC counts as unforgivable? 

This is actually a really interesting question for Liesel given well. Certain Kingmaker events I’m sooo excited for. But also just in general because they have an extremely unusual view of morality.

Liesel believes that good=freedom (and, to a somewhat lesser extent, pleasure), bad=oppression (and, to a somewhat lesser extent, pain). They don’t really have much belief in the existence of “good” or “bad” as traits that can be had by people, but rather that there are people who, for whatever reason(s), are more likely to make “good” choices than “bad” choices, and vice versa. It’s, essentially, a wholly consequence-based worldview. 

Additionally, they think that there is no purpose in punitive justice of any kind, and doubt the use of it even as a deterrent to wrongdoing. They also define redemption as, essentially, having made the personal growth to be the sort of person who will do more good acts than bad—making up for one’s own wrongdoing, or paying penance, or whatever, has nothing to do with it. 

However. They do believe that some decisions signal that a person is so far-gone, so warped in their perspective, that they will never start making better choices. These decisions are the few things Liesel could be said to consider unforgivable, and they include, generally, participation in the slave trade (obviously not including “participation” as a slave), purposeful mass murder (and I do mean mass—Liesel simply does not care very much about the couple people Jaethal killed in her backstory, given that she seems to have no intent to do a repeat), and the like. Whether or not the person is regretful often factors in.

It’s also unclear, even to me, how much of this is due to genuine philosophical sentiment, and how much of this is Liesel’s ability at pushing down their feelings in the name of practicality and convenience.

[ostermad-blog]

☔,🌤️?

Hello!

We'll do 🌤️ first: favorite mechanic from a game I'm working on. My focus at the moment is tentatively titled Szlachta Emblem, a ttrpg inspired by the GBA Fire Emblem games set in Nowa Polska, my Yiddish Fantasy setting. The game is a mashup of gba FE's mechanics transported into heximal (d66 math, essentially) with Belonging Outside Belonging to replicate the melodrama and angst that makes fe games so unique.

Getting both halves to play nicely with each other has been kind of tricky, but one of my breakthroughs today was adding a new type of Move: the Support Dynamic. In BOB games, there are four categories of Moves: strong, standard, lateral, and weak moves. Strong moves are powerful but require tokens, standard moves aren't as potent but don't require spending a token, and weak moves put your character in peril/make the situation worse in order to get a token. Lateral moves (from Galactic) let you give a token you have to another player. The only other way characters get moves is by taking advantage of another character's Lure, which grants a token to a character for reinforcing the fantasy/archetype of the Luring player. The thing is, I wanted to have the functionality of lateral moves, but I had a healthy number of strong, standard, and weak ones already that I didn't want to convert into lateral ones or cut to make space for new lateral moves. Then I had a moment of inspiration and figured out how to have my cake and eat it as well.

Last digression, I promise.

In FE, characters build Supports by fighting alongside each other. In the GBA games (and here), each character has a maximum number of supports they can have, so players have to choose carefully which relationships they want to formalize with a Support. As time passes, the characters grow closer, the player gets to read dialogue between them, and each gets mechanical boosts to their combat from having the other character near. So: how do we begin to meld the BOB framework and FE core mechanics while also solving the token economy problem described earlier? Support Dynamic.

Each class has both a Lure and a Support Dynamic. The Lure rewards other characters for playing into this class's central idea (characters who depend on the strength of a Hajduk to solve their problem gets a token, for example). The Support Dynamic lets the class give a token to someone they have a support relationship with (whenever the Hajduk enlivens someone they support, you gift them a token). Each class has their own, unique Lateral Move, limited by the degree to which they've invested in their personal relationships with the other characters. I'm quite pleased with this.

Now for ☔. This is really hard to answer, tbh. Are there any game ideas that I'm not sure I'll ever write? OK, sure. I had a setting before Nowa Polska that I'd spent years working on and writing a custom game for. It drew inspiration from a lot of different places, times, and folklores: ancient Greece, the Roman Empire, Irish folktales, and a lot from SE Asia. A lot from SE Asia. And then I went and did my research on ttrpgs drawing from SE Asia. And there are a ton of amazing games by designers who are, y'know, from/in SE Asia. I was just reading Balikbayan. Gubat Banwa is another phenomenal game. A Thousand Thousand Islands is just incredible. Diwata ng Manila's written some phenomenal games as well. The RPGSEA community is strong and vibrant and just incredible. I'm excited to have the chance to play some of their games. But I won't ever publish the setting that I was working on, nor the game I made for it. I don't think I could ever doe enough research or give enough due diligence to feel comfortable releasing it to the wider world. That's not to say some of the ideas I had won't be recycled into something in the future; some of them already have. But I'm happy to leave the setting as a whole behind me as I move forward to new projects and new horizons.

[mejomonster]

i really do appreciate novels like silent reading. (i mean for a lot of reasons but like also) seeing an adult romance between flawed people, and those people managing to communicate and cooperate and have a happy relationship as flawed people is so important. there’s a lot of focus nowadays on ‘healthy’ relationships in media. and i do think it’s important, especially in teen and young adult media where communicating healthily and showing firm boundaries shows their audience what healthy relationships should look like. but also? 

seeing Heartstopper, and Charlie having anxiety that does make him doubt he’s lovable? that’s important. Real people don’t come into relationship perfect. Real people come into every relationship in life: family, friends, coworkers, lovers, as imperfect people who carry the baggage of every unhealthy coping mechanism they developed from childhood or past hurts to survive, of every injury they went through in life and survived and may not even be aware they still carry those hurts. Charlie could be aware he has self esteem issues, and self hate that’s undue. But he could never be fully aware of how much that might play out into him sabotaging his own relationship with Nick, into pushing Nick away and emotionally isolating, into blaming himself for imagined ‘bad things’ he’s done when really he’s not to blame. real people Are Imperfect, and seeing Charlie doing his best but still making some mistakes is realistic. Seeing him and Nick resolve it with support and communication is wonderful, is realistic, is how real people who are Always Somewhat flawed build healthy relationships and resolve issues when they inevitably crop up.

Silent Reading is also a case like this, although a more extreme adult version with of course murder and higher unrealistic stakes. But Fei Du? He is a man with ptsd, that causes him to rely deeply on unhealthy coping mechanisms and to delude himself to such an extent he is not even aware of the full scope of his trauma and is not doing concious work to fix it. He’s convinced himself it’s not there, he avoids it, he suppresses his emotions, he numbs himself to his own feelings. He’s functioning, to a large degree, from a place of trauma and heavily relying on coping mechanisms that are harming him to some degree and will Eventually over the course of his life need to be worked through. Now, this doesn’t make him irredeemable. He’s a young adult, and honestly a lot of young adults come into adulthood carrying a huge amount of childhood trauma or baggage from formative relationships and have no idea they’ve even got trauma affecting how they act. Then it’s a lifetime of work to realize that it’s negatively effecting them, and to work on making more conscious healthy choices for themselves, and healing. It’s a lifetime of work, and a young adult shouldn’t be expected to already know all the ways they’re hurt and may be carrying that baggage in their actions. Lots of young adults DO go into relationships, all kinds, at that age With all that baggage, and still things turn out fine. Sometimes they turn out bad, and the person learns and realizes they had some unhealthy coping mechanisms (like numbing to their emotions and unsure how they even feel, tolerating people violating their boundaries, lashing out at others when hurt, running when emotionally vulnerable, clinging and acting controlling when emotionally vulnerable, etc could be a million things). And the person recognizes X, Y, Z went wrong and they’ll improve that area for the next relationships they have. And again and again. Until one day they have a friendship or romance or whatever, and X problem comes up again (like say running when they feel too emotionally vulnerable) and this time they communicate what’s going on, or the other person says they feel abandoned when it happens, and the two talk and because they communicate they get through that temporary reaction fine. They stay together. And wooh, isn’t that the goal! Being able to work through issues as they arise, and keep our relationships where everyone involved has their concerns addressed and feels heard and understood to the best ppl can understand each other. And eventually, people get Better at doing this as issues crop up. Eventually, when its a solvable issue this is the norm. And when its a serious incompatibility issue or someone is harming another, things end, and that’s better for all involved too. 

So like. Fei Du? He’s an ordinary young adult with baggage he isn’t even aware of. And in real life, tons of people form all kinds of relationships while coming in at that level of awareness or less. And the thing is? For all that, in Silent Reading the relationship still goes okay. Because Luo Wenzhou is willing to ask questions and have conversations when he’s unsure of things. Because Fei Du does try to meet him halfway, does not leave (and he Does actually leave and run sometimes! and yeah, for some people that will end their relationship. That’s learning from one’s past actions to carry into the future. But Fei Du is lucky, and it doesn’t happen to end his relationship. And you know? some people in real life do get to keep their relationship after a few mistakes). My point is... its the trying. It all comes down to: are the people in the relationship trying? Are they trying their best to live up to the actions they promise, do they try to meet each other halfway, do they try to actively understand each other? When mistakes are made do they communicate and work on them. Real people aren’t perfect, they are always some degree of messes. That doesn’t mean good healthy relationships are impossible. That means people try and grow through their whole lives, and if a relationship works then both people are trying to do what’s healthy, trying to understand each other and trying to address their unhealthy coping mechanisms when they do crop up and affect things. And even with all that, sometimes things don’t work out. And that’s okay. You live and learn.

(And on a related note... I could definitely go in for ages on Tao Ran and his own unhealthy coping mechanisms and how interesting they are. How he can salvage a friendship but he self destructs any romantic relationships. How its a fear of dying on someone, abandoning someone, hurting someone, so he’d rather no one cared about him at all. How Silent Reading is very I think mature in how it shows the various kinds of people and how they Aren’t Perfect but they are trying... or not in Tao Ran’s case, and how people try and things turn out however they turn out. Like? Luo Wenzhou? Objectively he is probably Too Forgiving in a romantic relationship, and in all his relationships tbh as we see with Yang Xin. But he also sees Fei Du almost as a child to protect which makes his unconditional forgiveness come from a place we understand more, meanwhile for Fei Du... the level of his distancing means if it was anyone who Wasn’t so adamantly there for him, he’d let them go. And that’s not really healthy either, Fei Du’s frequent attempts to lash out and push Luo Wenzhou away to make him abandon Fei Du, to fulfill Fei Du’s own fears, another way to self sabotage good things in his own life and play out a reinforcement of his abandonment issues. My point is like... they do Some things i’d think could be dealbreakers in another relationship. I’d certainly run from a partner doing either Luo Wenzhou’s continuing to maintain a relationship even when boundaries crossed or communication refused or his partner pushes away and his controlling supervising nature, or Fei Du’s lashing out and pushing away. But in their world where one could be a killer, these extremes make sense for who they became, and in their specific dynamic you see why For Fei Du the controlling nature’s oddly a positive of Luo Wenzhou and makes LWZ appeal in an opposite way to what Fei Du fears, and why for Luo Wenzhou and his view of Fei Du as his responsibility like his own kid makes his unconditional forgiveness make sense for him. It’s this kind of nuanced exploration I like seeing. Real people aren’t always As messy as these two lol, but real people Are Imperfect and imperfect people can find ways to form good relationships. Because ultimately that’s what everyone alive is doing.)

[elfcollector]

i am asking about dovecole. please tell me more about them and how they came together

THANK YOUUUUUUUUU

so in terms of the How'd This Come To Be, it's actually quite a slow burn! their first kiss isn't until shortly before trespasser lmao. this is because, frankly, they both have a lot of shit to cope with before being in a relationship would be even kind of healthy.

one of the reasons they get along so well initially is that they're in a very similar spot of being 'technically a young adult but functionally very new to being in the world.' cole is in the body of a young adult (he's probably around 19-21 by inquisition) and mooostly has the mind of a young adult, but Existing like this is extremely new to him! and dove is technically ninteen at the beginning but in a very real way she hasn't grown or matured past the age of eleven, because that's when she was made tranquil. and now that she's not she has to learn, all over again, how to be a person in the world. they're both young in a way that only they can really understand.

cole is an enormous comfort to dove, and she to him, because they have this commonality ( in addition to the fact that they're both good people with beliefs and ideals that are fairly aligned ). cole is one of the few people who can accurately understand what dove is feeling, sometimes better than she can — though being around her is extremely overwhelming for him initially — not only because he's an empath but also because he gets, more than anyone, how fucking overwhelming it is to be a person. and dove can understand better than anyone — even solas — what it's like to go from being so little to SO MUCH. dove sees herself more clearly via cole than she can otherwise, and vice versa

they do develop fairly childish crushes on each other not that long after meeting — i have a drabble somewhere on this blog where dorian notes that cole in particular gets a little lovestruck around her — but neither really have the context to understand the feelings beyond 'i like being around this person a lot.' so they just end up spending a lot of time around each other! as cole becomes more human and dove starts catching up on her actual age, especially post - game, dove starts to realize that what she feels for cole is explicitly romantic. she's not sure if cole feels the same way, but she knows that even if he turned her down they'd remain friends and she'd still be happy. so she tells him she's in love with him! cole is so happy to talk about it with her because it helps him realize oh shit THAT'S what these feelings are?

this happens about a year after the end of the game, and they take some time to just. be in love with each other and see how that feels and where it takes them. it's only four months or so out from trespasser that they officially decide to Be Together, partially because that's when dove's hand starts to act up and they're both subconsciously like 'if i die/if dove dies i want us to be together for the rest of my/dove's life.' this is when they have their first kiss! it's very natural and sweet and they're both so giddy. leliana thinks its adorable. cassandra, on the other hand, wishes they would stop being so lovey dovey in public. not because she's not happy they're happy but because oh my god this is so mushy

speaking of, they don't overtly tell most of the companions, which means the ones that haven't stayed with the inquisition full time between the game and DLC don't find out until said DLC. (varric, as ever, is the exception.) it's funny! sera and viv are both more supportive than you'd expect

[dojae-huh]

Random question

Do you think their relationship (jh and do) will become toxic? Although lately their relationship looks good and even seen a lot on camera unlike the previous year. Will the relationship go smoothly? Or will it turn toxic?

The bigger and longer the relationship, the more love will be lost which turns into love between families. Are they able to distinguish the love between families they have with their love with other members?

Then will their relationship become toxic for themselves, considering that both of them are stubborn and have a fairly high sense of possessiveness. Will their relationship remain healthy in the future?

Then do you feel that lately Do has been showing a lot of openness about his relationship? Even though jh and do have the same insta vibes but lately, do really like posting the vibes that jh posted first. Likewise with the two tiktoks randomly showing their private tiktok only a few days later. Is there any chance of them announcing their relationship later? Even though in South Korea the relationship is still pros and cons.

Sorry, maybe you are dizzy reading my consecutive and not coherent questions. Thanks for sharing your opinion.

I think whether JaeDo part will depend on the life circumstances. I can see a scenario where they can decide it is better to break up, however, I also think that fans and fanfic writers are too keen on this idea (due to JaeDo's on public "divorce").

JaeDo are long past the strictly lust phase when chemicals change the brain and perception of the partner, they are already at the "familial" stage. Many smart and art-oriented people function as life partners (from "partnership", doing something together for mutual benefit, towards one goal).

Both Jae and Do have parents who are still married. Therefore they have this example of a happy marriage and can always consult "pros", i.e. their parents for relationship advice. Doyoung met a couple who rekindled their love after husband's illness on MITH. He has a lot of opinions about the marriage (for example, kids shouldn't be born to be a tool for their parents to feel happy). He is a planner.

A marriage is a thing that needs investment and care. However, that's something the two are good at. Their idol live taught them both how to understand/accept others and how to overcome hardships. As well as the value of the help and support from friends.

I think many shippers look at JaeDo as a circumstational couple. You know, how people in small towns marry someone from their school for lack of choice. Therefore, they think that with time the relationship accumulate problems. However, JaeDo are together despite the circumstances.

There were many divorces during Covid because married couples had to spend a lot of time together in their flats, and interact, and get on each other's nerves, and find out that they can't stand each other for a prolonged time instead of a few hours in the morning and in the evening.

JaeDo spend 24/7 together, and only get stronger. Their compatibility was tested many times. They already went through many obstacles (2017 and Jae's broken heart, Taeyong as Do's bff planning to stay forever by his side, Do's burn out, Jae's scandal and cancellation of acting projects, the tensions among 127 neos during the pandemic, the whole hiding, fake ships, solo stans, and all the irritation it brings).

JaeDo are not a young couple, they have been together for almost 10 years. A crush is also "romantic feelings and fixation", so it counts.

I do have fun with Jae's jealousy, while Do's possesiveness is what makes him betray himself and is worth attention, as such I bring them up often. However, the relationship has a huge amount of warmth, trust and mutual understanding, and that's what long-lasting couples always possess.

I think JaeDo cancel each other's potentially toxic traits nicely. For example, Jaehyun needs praise and cheering on, and Doyoung gives it freely without asking for something in return, he will never gaslight or belittle. Doyoung needs well expressed loyalty, and Jaehyun isn't one to have eyes for others and flirt for the fun of it. Jaehyun gets jealous easily, but Doyoung actually isn't a social butterfly and he knows how to demonstrate how much Jae matters with big or small gestures.

In short. Anything can happen in the future, but JaeDo are a couple made for a success and not an inevitable disaster.

Doyoung has been more open for many months now. The recent events are just fresh on memory.

Who knows, SK is changing fast. Maybe in 10 years it will be possible for celebreties to come out and preserve their job. And maybe k-pop fans will get used to the idea of their oppas getting partners.

Smitten with each other.

[visionboardyr2025]

⚫️ $50k in savings, bills paid early, income and savings numbers always growing, investing in my business and Gabes business, opening up investment accounts, watching our credit scores grow and our kids savings accounts.

⚫️ healthy baby girl, miles being the most loving brother. Miles loves helping with his sister, singing to her, sleeping with her, picking out her clothes, giving her kisses. He is always excited to show her off.

⚫️ having support from the grandparents (Gabe’s mom and dad and my mom and dad) they love to play with miles and take him out or watch the baby so Gabe and I can continue to have date nights. They are a huge help and the kids get to grow up with them in their lives which is amazing. The grandparents have really come together and made life much easier for Gabe and I - giving us breaks to be with each other, talk finances, decide our child’s education, and talk about our goals as a couple and a family.

⚫️ Gabe and I gave a living relationship with each other. We communicate well, we deal with finances really well. We work together to provide an amazing home for our kids and we make sure to love each other. We prioritize our own health and wellness and we dress our best. We feel really good with each other and we support each others dreams. We parent together and give each other breaks when we need it. We are truly a team and we have just fallen more and more in love with each other.

⚫️ abundant, buying the nice things I love, while having a balance of putting money in savings, investing, being smart, and living life to its fullest

⚫️ miles in baseball, golf, Spanish classes, and being homeschooled with me. We do art, math, writing, reading, he’s learning and growing and I take him to hang out with his friends, to the moxi, to the botanic gardens, the beach, museums. We are always exploring. He’s growing up to be strong, smart, active. He’s social and smart yet he loves being close to me - his mom. He loves playing with dad. He loves his sports ⚾️ ⛳️ he’s amazing at golf and baseball and people are wildly impressed with him.

⚫️ we take our kids traveling 🧳 on weekend trips, out of the country (Italy in 2025 - a new country/ place each year). We go on train rides, visit family, always have our own space to stay as a family.

⚫️ my Etsy shop: digital products and art products taking off and providing us with between $3k - $10k per month so we’re able to completely pay off debt, save money, and live life fully while I still have the freedom to be a present mother and take care of myself. I love to create my art - paintings, digital - whatever it is. I’ll take on clients here or there but I mostly focus on my passive income. It’s provided a huge amount of profit and it’s fun for me. I create art whenever I feel like it and add the items to my online shop/ etsy. Sales picked up so much in 2024 that I was able to truly focus on motherhood and creating.

⚫️ yoga and exercise regularly. Investing in my skincare routine, my hair, getting myself and Gabe nice clothes and shoes that make us happy. Stroller walks with harden and the kids. Breastfeeding my baby girl and watching her be strong, healthy, happy. Feeling in love and comfortable with my body.

⚫️ vacationing in Sicily Italy for 9 days for Sophia’s wedding - staying at Connie’s gorgeous home, with the kids, eating the BEST FOOD, feeling so abundant, wealthy, happy with my friends and family.

⚫️ HOME: our home is our sanctuary. Our home is coming together beautifully, slowly, and with so much intention. We have started making the yard a gorgeous sanctuary. We have begun to hang up art. I feel so much pride in my home, in my space. The kids room and living room are functional, gorgeous and just as I pictured. Miles loves to play in his room with his toys. Miles also loves to work on the garden and play with his tractor 🚜. He loves to play make believe and have fun in the yard or have time building on his Lego wall in his room. He’s creative and artistic, smart, and he’s been a huge help with the baby girl. The living room is my artsy haven: I’ve hung up the art pieces I want, got the bookshelf I dreamed of, the dining/ living area that I envisioned, the rug I wanted, the curtains, and each little detail is coming together down to the coasters and display books. The hallway is also coming together with a spot for keys and mail, a functional and aesthetic storage for our shoes, little signs on the door that say take off your shoes, a beware dog sign on the gate. My room is cozy and safe and my office space is SO ME and so aesthetic: with the custom shaped wooden table slab that me and my dad sanded and stained, the cute desk items, beautiful round lamps, gorgeous curtains, amazing laptop and recording set up (Gabe also loves to use the recording set up for Pokemon - his channel is GROWING fast), little organizational trinkets, the best books, gel pens, laptop stand holder, all the things that make me so happy, and the coziest chair! I love my work space when I sit to work on my digital products or post helpful videos on my YouTube channel. I’m having FUN with my work and home.

⚫️ life is truly peaceful and every element that I worked in manifesting has shown up in my reality. I knew it would and it did. The money, the savings, the family, the health, the clothes, the travel, the business, the ease, the time with my kids. It’s everything I dreamed of but I’m living it in real life. And I’m just so freaking content/ happy/ blessed. 😇 This life I have - I am so so so grateful for.

[etherealhoneybee777]

Agree completely with this!! I do think fighting ??? gave Teru some perspective and helped him see mob in a more neutral light, but I still believe the that he still struggles with overidealizing mob in his mind because Coping Mechanisms™️ don’t go away that fast.

My headcanon is that neither are ready for a romantic relationship of any kind as teens. Mob is still learning how to validate and process his own emotions, and Teru…well…Teru’s been completely abandoned by his parents. From what we can see, he has very little adult support.

When I think about Teru and what he needs, my brain automatically goes to ‘parental figure’. Unpacking my headcanons about Teru’s warped thought patterns is something that would take a really long post, but I’ll try to do it quickly:

In other shonen, the “rival” character is taken seriously by the narrative. The narrative does not censure the rival character for their obsession with the protagonist—instead the rival’s obsession is treated as devotional. The rival is “destined” to be the rival. Sometimes the rival has trauma, and the trauma is treated as a necessary part of the rival’s development. It’s a sad backstory, but it made the rival who they are today.

MP100 doesn’t do that. Teru isn’t destined to rival mob. His rival status is clearly shown as self-invented, his relationship to mob is mostly in his imagination, and his overidealization and “devotion” to mob isn’t cool—it is instead a coping mechanism used to evade the very disturbing reality that there IS no predestined purpose for Teru’s life, and all the bad things that happened to him happened for NO reason. Teru SHOULDN’T have been kidnapped by claw. His parents SHOULDN’T have abandoned him. And yeah, Teru knows that, but if this was all some sad anime backstory, if his trauma built him into who he is today, if he has a purpose greater than himself, then maybe it’s okay that he’s miserable. Maybe it’s okay that no one comes into his room at night to remind him that they love him. Because he’s supposed to help people. He’s supposed to help people just like Mob. And there can be a light at the end of the tunnel because he can make it himself—he CAN be good and he CAN live a good life and if he just tries hard enough he can have control and——

And that thought process—to me—doesn’t disappear in a day. Which is why I’m consumed with this character. Which is why (in my opinion) Teen Teru and Teen Mob’s romantic relationship would be unintentionally toxic, even though they’d come at it with the best of intentions. Which is why what Teru needs is a parental figure and not a partner. Which is why I was excited to see the fanbook, which confirmed that Teru comes to spirits and such often and spends time with reigen. Which is why I keep thinking/writing about Teru growing up. About him healing…slowly.

I want to make it work. I want Teru to smile without self-criticism buzzing like bees in his head. I want him to have someone nice to call on the phone when he’s sick or when the power goes out.

I want Teru to look at his friends and family normally, for him to not constantly shift between idealizing and devaluing them, not trying to rival or placate them to keep them from abandoning him bc he trusts them to stay. I want Teru to trust. I want Teru to be okay. I want Teru healthy and happy, because he seems to be the only character who ends the series in utter misery.

Maybe after Teru’s an adult and confronted his trauma, Terumob can happen. Maybe a healthy Teru can have a normal, functioning relationship with the boy he desperately dreamed of marrying when he was 14. But it’d be a different relationship than what he envisioned. And he wouldn’t view mob the same way.

woeld you still love me if i posted toxic terumob analysis

[usesboth-a]

META  +   BELLAMY   &   OCTAVIA   :   S6

honestly i’m not mad about bellamy and octavia.   i   wasn’t   super into the idea of how   harsh and negative   he was being before they had their conversation because it felt really out of place to me -- but after watching the episode and that scene,  i think the way it was handled and shown was   incredibly important    and i don’t think i’d change how that progression happened or how bellamy has reacted to her,   especially after coming out of the anomaly.   as much as i’ve changed my opinion on octavia,   i still think that the relationship that she and bellamy have was always one with a lot of co - dependency :  bellamy feeling like he had to take care of her otherwise no one else would,   octavia only having bellamy to lean on because their mother was too busy,   gone,   drunk,   ect.   and it turned into this thing of    ‘ my sister,  my responsibility ‘    because it    had to.    it was what their mother told him,   and in return,   it’s the mantra he chose to live by for the next sixteen - eighteen years.

i’m not about to make you all read an article dedicated to codependency,   specifically in siblings,   and then read this but there are a few key points that are super important in the blakes dynamic,   and how they shouldn’t necessarily get back to where they started,  but grow and heal and become better   in spite of   the chaos they’ve both endured.    (  the ties that bind turn easily into the bonds that strangle  )     

in the beginning of the show,   the common theme of bellamy constantly protecting and hovering over octavia could be seen as selflessness,   but it’s really masking control that he probably wanted since everything about his life was so    out of control    after she was born.   rather than seeing her as the reason  (  which isn’t the case at all,   their mother was a piece of work in and of herself  )    he chooses to take the responsibility and the job and duty of protecting her,  especially considering there were more than likely a lot of deep rooted fears in terms of bellamy and his relationship with his dad and the more than likely    deep rooted abandonment issues     he now has.   again,  not sure who he is or if he’s dead or alive,  but the dysfunctional aspect still stands and as an other brother,   he doesn’t want to subject octavia to that and turns into committing   all of his energy    into keeping her safe  (  see:  s1 - s3  )

his codependency on octavia    actually gets worse    after lincoln is killed,   because not only does he feel semi - responsible,   but because she’s spiraling out of control and is starting to do a complete change of her person due to the   trauma she faced,   he’s doing his best to do   damage control    in order to keep things held together but failed to recognize that he’s trying too hard,  and    his own behavior    is adding to the crisis.    when the two of them are separated at the end of s4,   this could have been a good moment for the both of them and bellamy realizing that his sister didn’t need him,  and while that was the case for octavia,   bellamy wasn’t ready to let her go.   he’s been there for   so long   and has had to carry the weight of being her rock and foundation and support for so long that he’s unsure of how to truly    let her go   (  see:  everything leading up to the moment in s5 where he’s thrown into the fighting pit  )   and not realizing that his grasp is actually   suffocating himself    and no longer of use to her.    she’s not a little girl anymore  ---  she’s capable of protecting herself.

all in all,   this season has been a    huge    metaphor for breaking the cycle of a codependent relationship,   specifically,   bellamy hanging on too tight to octavia.    him leaving her behind at the beginning of the season was something that needed to happen for them    both to grow,    but for him to realize that he doesn’t have to protect her or look out for her.   if he continued to try and save her from the chaos that was her life,  she probably    wouldn’t have changed   and grown into the person she is now,  and neither would he.   typically in a codependent situation,   one has to be so out of control and so far gone that the other swoops in and    “ rescues  “    the other person from it,  typically putting their needs above their own.   with this said,   i think this conversation was a huge    turning point    in their relationship because it meant that bellamy was finally letting go of what needed to be let go of for the last two and a half to three seasons:   although octavia is his sister,    she’s no longer his responsibility.      he no longer has to protect her and no longer has to take on the chaos from her world.   this was just as important for bellamy   to let go of   as it was for octavia to admit that she needed him to say that she is his sister.

[purlturtle]

For that ask thingy... I have a feeling That WH13 might be right up your ally 😉 so let's do it

Goodness, do you? I wonder why! 😅

Let's go then! (questions from here, if you too wanna have a go)

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character: Myka Bering

Least Favorite character: of the core team: Artie. Of the whole series: Walter Sykes. Artie, because he keeps just too many secrets even when he is shown, again and again, that that is counterproductive. And yes, he's a bit older and set in his ways, and yes, those ways were helpful in his previous career, and yes, he was by himself for a long time but GEEZ, dude, ADAPT. Walter, because ugh slimy and manipulative and cruel and evil. And I know all of that was brough about by an artifact, and had that not happened to him he could have been a really nice guy, so I'm not fully blaming him for all of that; still: ugh. Hate 'im.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): I only have one ship, and that is Bering and Wells. I know other people ship other ships, and I'm cool with that, but for me it's B&W only. I'm generally not a very shippy person; I like some pairings in some shows (canon or not I don't care), but when it comes to ships, as in I'm on this ship and sailing away with it and you're never gonna get me off of this ship etc etc, that is my OTP, Bering and Wells. No other couple in no other show has ever come anywhere near how I feel about them.

Character I find most attractive: Myka Bering, but only because I like curls a little better than straight hair. So lively! Helena Wells a very close second. And then Myka Bering with straight hair 😅

Character I would marry: Again, Myka Bering, with Helena Wells a very close second. Polygamy with the both of them? Sign me up!

Character I would be best friends with: toss-up between Myka and Pete?

a random thought: it's so sad this show never got a fifth season; it would have been so amazing, I'm sure.

An unpopular opinion: I fully understand and endorse Helena Wells' actions in Instinct. I can write an entire essay about why, if you're interested, but will keep it brief here for the sake of people's dashes: Helena had the right to establish and defend her own agency and choices, even if I as a shipper wasn't happy with them. The Regents stripped her agency from her not just once (Bronze) but twice (Janus Coin), and I fully approve of her stepping the hell away from all that and finding a way to be on her own.

My Canon OTP: Artie and Vanessa. They're cute, and I like seeing older people have happy, functional relationships - for a given value of "functional", given Artie's bumbling. But hey, he's trying!

My Non-canon OTP: Bering and Wells is canon to me, but I do acknowledge that it was never actually stated in words, out loud, on screen.

Most Badass Character: Myka Ophelia Bering. Gets to be the brain AND the brawn, has a healthy dose of self-confidence, not just awkwardness and daddy issues.

Most Epic Villain: Paracelsus. Gotta admire the heights he aspired to and the lengths he went to. Also, Anthony Head chewing scenery will never not be epic.

Pairing I am not a fan of: some people apparently ship Pete and Myka? *shudders* They have so much sibling energy, I can't see it. Ship and let ship, obviously, but I don't see it, myself.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Leena deserved so much better. So so so much better. (if I should ever acknowledge the existence of S5, Myka as well, but I don't, so Leena it is.)

Favourite Friendship: Pete and Myka. I love how supportive he is, how they both take no shit from each other, how they have each other's backs. Close second, Myka's big sister/mentoring friendship with Claudia, as seen most wonderfully in For The Team.

Character I most identify with: Myka, to a ridiculous degree.

Character I wish I could be: I'm gonna go a bit left field here and say, I wanna be a therapist/debriefing specialist for the entire team, the way they brought in Abigail (and barely did anything with) in S4. These people need someone to look after their mental health, and there is more than enough shit to go 'round to keep Abigail and me busy for the rest of our lives.

Thanks for the ask! I had a lot of fun with this!

[sophfandoms53]

I have so many thoughts about Evan’s recent comments on GOTF and idk if this is gonna come out in a coherent way but I wanna just ramble and get them out so... here we go.

Evan’s strategy when it comes to both Sonic and Tikal’s relationship, as well as Sonic and Shadow’s, appears to be through subtlety and small moments, and it makes sense, the comic has a huge plot going on that it needs to keep its focus on. So looking back, you can see those small moments and realize the undertones of them, it’s a very smart decision on Evan’s part to handle things this way. It shows the greater bond that lies within these three characters of her story.

Touching a bit more upon the subject on how she’s handled and described her intentions on Sonic and Shadow, that additional tweet made me think a lot, and how she pointed out the contrast between her take on Sonic/Shadow’s dynamic vs other romantic works of the two. Evan described the usual shipping dynamic as a “dark and passionate tone” while her’s leans into a more “trust and mutually healing” one, and I think that’s a really good take for her to have and execute. It’s also kind of a commentary on how the dynamic of sonadow has changed throughout the years.

Speaking just generally, not just GOTF, Sonic and Shadow as a relationship, in fandom, has had its ups and downs. The ship during the mid to late 2000’s, and I think many of us who have been Sonic fans for years can all agree with this, was filled to the brim with homophobic treatment, weird fetishization, and some times the ship was portrayed as just downright abusive. That was the heavily normalized version of Sonadow during this time, it was a joke ship, people laughed at you for genuinely feeling a relationship between Sonic and Shadow could actually work. If you weren’t being lowkey homophobic about it, fetishizing the gay ship, or having sonic and shadow abusing each other, you were made fun of.

But the times have changed. The internet and people have grown. A relationship between two males, whether hedgehogs or humans, is something that a vast majority of people support and would love to see be happy and healthy. You can see many Sonadow shippers nowadays being able to share the genuine ideas they have on how they feel a good version of Sonic and Shadow would work. They’re able to explore and create so many wonderful works of the two and not have that worry about being made fun by a majority of the sonic fan base anymore. This change has allowed us to see what a healthy relationship between Sonic and Shadow would look like and so many people just make it so damn wholesome.

And I think that’s also something worth talking about. The absence of portraying happy and healthy couples in media nowadays. Just like how Sonadow was normalized as a toxic ship back in the 2000s, relationships in stories, movies, and shows are still constantly portrayed as toxic and abusive and it’s normalized. The idea of not being able to trust your partner, constant fighting over nothing, gaslighting and manipulative behavior, is so heavily normalized in media and it’s gotta stop. Relationships that are co-dependent, that have one partner questioning their trust in their lover constantly, that have one partner not being able to speak up, that have both people yelling at each other over small things, that have unhealthy jealousy, that have one partner who promises to change and then constantly relapses into their bad behavior because they know their partner will stay, all of that, it’s not good.

No relationship should ever be that way, and it is frustrating seeing so many things in media portray relationships that lack basic trust and respect as healthy and functional, when all they are are unhealthy and dysfunctional, which again is not good and should not be normalized. This can also apply to unhealthy friendships as well.

So to see that Evan, a member of the Sonic community and a worker for SEGA, taking a ship/dynamic that was once portrayed as something negative, and transforming it into one that is filled with mutual trust, understanding, and the want for both parties to heal properly, it’s incredibly inspiring and heartwarming. You can see that throughout the issues that Sonic and Shadow do greatly care for each other, their friendship is healthy, they want each other to improve and grow, they push each other, and they truly do love each other, platonically or romantically, it doesn’t matter, they just do and it shows.

Those are the relationships that matter.

[sanchosammy]

Baby, I was going to tell you.

Description: You find out through a friend that your husband has taken another job with the guys. This leaves the two of you to have a very serious talk. 

Warnings: Mention of Frankie’s drug problem. Cursing. Slight NSFW. Trouble with getting pregnant. Slightly angst, but made up with fluff.

Note: I did edit this while being very tipsy on a margarita...Yeah. I feel like this isn’t my best work, but it is a very cute story. (This does have Frankie and the reader actively trying to have children. If you’re not a fan of children, this won’t be for you. I just wanted to put that out there!)

Word Count: 4,373

Tonight was your turn to host dinner with your favorite neighbors. Jacob and Hannah, the first married couple you met who was tolerable to hang out with. That was considered a rare find in the marriage world. It was nearly three years back when you and Frankie officially tied the knot and afterwards you searched to find your forever home.

And you did four months after the wedding! A beautiful home to raise a future family. Since then the couple next door had been nothing but pleasant to the two of you. They’ve helped out whenever you needed a hand with a house project that turned out to be a little more than a four hand job, and the couple had attended nearly every party you’ve ever hosted. With that, Jacob and Frankie became close friends over the years. The two of them spending time in Jacob’s ‘man cave’ as he called it. A lame way to say they played pool and talked about who knows what on the weekends.

You didn’t mind though, in your mind it was healthy for him to have someone like that in his life. A friend outside of his old service buddies. Not that you didn’t love the men you’ve come to know, but he needed someone who could normalize his life a little.

It was a beautiful night. The sun setting in the distance as the summer sky remained bright. A soft warmness covering your skin from the perfect weather. The four of you sat at the table on the brick patio in your backyard. The string lights hung above you beautifully setting the mood for the evening, it was a small project you asked Frankie to do a month ago.

He loved to tease you about ‘overworking’ him since you’ve bought the house, but it was only jokes on his end. You knew he loved those projects. It was something to prove he was needed somewhere and you did everything possible to make sure he knew you couldn’t do it without him.

“The meal was delicious as always, (Y/N).” Hannah complimented as she wiped her mouth with a napkin, the plate in front of her now empty. Jacob chimed in an agreement as he complimented the taste of your well-known lasagna. It was a meal you continued to make for events throughout the years and it was always praised.

“Thank you,” You responded, a little flustered by the attention but nonetheless happy with everyone’s satisfaction from the meal. You loved to host these small dinners with friends. A part of you knew deep down this was used as a distraction, nothing but a small activity to keep you busy outside of work. Truthfully, you and Frankie had been trying to have a baby.

Sure, it was only four months into the attempt, but your disappointment had started to stick with you. The excitement running out slowly, and was replaced with a small flame of doubt left. Your doctor assured you that some women’s bodies take time after switching off from their birth control, but that didn’t stop the worry you carried each month that passed. Frankie had been so supportive throughout the whole process as he continued to promise you that the time will come when you become parents.

It was sweet of him. He tried so hard to make you happy and somehow always managed to bring back your smile. It reminded you of why you adored this man so much. You just wanted to be a mom… The mother of his children.

Frankie practically beamed with a look of pride beside you. His arm rested against the back of your chair as he placed a kiss on the side of your temple, his mouth still close to your ear as he commented “Thank you for dinner.”

You returned a soft kiss on his cheek in response with a quiet ‘you’re welcome’. No matter how many years passed, you still looked at him like a love-sick puppy and he looked at you the exact same way. His brown eyes softened whenever he looked at his beautiful wife. The only thing that made him feel complete in life.

You stood up collecting Frankie’s plate, that was before he swiped it from your hand casually while picking up yours as well from the table. “No baby, you cooked. Let me clean up.” He smiled as he started to collect the rest of the plates.

“Allow me,” Hannah chirped in as she picked up the side dishes before you could protest. A small tease came from her as she passed by. You were the type to do it all no matter what, and so Hannah liked to force you to relax once in a while. Both Frankie and her tended to bother you about taking on too much.

You watched the two of them head towards the house to put away the used dinner plates. Hannah talking to Frankie about the new window panels he put up. 

Jacob was now standing with you, a small chuckle leaving him. “Your husband is going to kill my bank account. Everytime that woman sees something Frankie did in the yard, she wants to change something about ours.”

You couldn’t stop a small laugh. You grinned as you replied, “I’m sorry about that Jacob, I’m usually the one who put Frankie up to it.” 

There was a small pause as Jacob looked at the kitchen window. Hannah kept Frankie in place as she talked about something in the house, that woman could talk forever. Jacob’s smile faded as his eyes came back to yours and his voice came out softer than before. “I know things are probably really rough right now, (Y/N). If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to call me. No matter the time or day.” 

You blinked at him. You had no idea what Jacob was on about, or what he was being so soft hearted for. Did Frankie tell him about the baby trouble? You didn’t think Frankie would spill such personal information. “What are you referring to?”

“Frankie told me about them calling him into deployment… I know that has to be really hard on you. He’s been putting on a brave face about the whole thing but I don’t think he’ll know how to function without you.”

You paused for a brief second and forced out a chuckle. “Frankie isn’t being deployed, Jacob.” He clearly had Francisco mixed with someone else. You would know if your own husband was being shipped off anywhere. Plus, Frankie said he was never going back to that life. He told you himself countless times. Though your smile faltered as you looked over Jacob’s face and the silence between the two of you became deafening. 

Your heart dropped into your stomach. Your question came out a little breathless, “Jacob, did Frankie tell you that himself?” 

The new information hitting you like a freight train. You watched as the guilt on his face spread. You felt like you couldn’t breathe suddenly and you wanted to burst into tears on the spot.

As Frankie stepped out of the backdoor he saw you. He knew that look, and his movements slowed down. He hasn’t seen that look since the neighborhood cat you secretly fed was hit by a car and you cried for the rest of the week. That heartbroken look hardly showed up on your face and worry shot through him instantly.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” He asked as he came by your side. He noticed the look of remorse plastered on Jacob’s face. The mood in the air was now stiff, and the light from the summer sky was filled with darkness.

You turned towards him and your voice cracked as you asked “You’re being shipped off?”

He stiffened in front of you. He was going to tell you soon but he wanted you to have a few more days of bliss. This isn’t how he wanted you to find out though. Frankie knew you wouldn’t take this well, he had been married to you long enough to know how devastated you’d be hearing the information. He had planned to be sensitive about this as much as he could, and now here he was looking at the tears filling your eyes in front of him.

His shame now matched Jacob’s and that told you everything you needed to know. 

“Baby, I was going to tell you.” His words fell short as you pushed past him. Not allowing him to finish his explanation. You couldn’t believe Frankie hid this from you, and told Jacob before you for that matter. 

You weren’t deaf upon him calling your name behind you, but you didn’t want to see his face. You shut the backdoor behind you before rushing upstairs towards your shared bedroom. Tears finally surfacing as you let out a sob.

+

 A few minutes passed by as you sat alone on the end of the bed. The bawling slowly died down into a quiet sniffle. You couldn’t believe your husband was leaving. The two of you had never spent time apart like this since you’ve started the relationship.

Frankie assured Jacob that it was alright after hearing him apologize for several minutes, but he was just attempting to be polite for his own sake. He had enough shit to deal with after tonight, and he didn’t want to add a fight with his neighbor on the list. Plus, he needed Jacob’s support for when he left. He needed to know there was someone there to help you while he was gone.

The house was silent when he entered through the backdoor. It became an unbearable reminder in his mind that you’d be alone in the silence while he was God knows where in the jungle. As he walked up the stairs he didn’t miss the sound of your quiet sniffling behind the shut bedroom door. His heart shattering with the confrontation of how he was hurting you.

His knuckles knocked on the wood. He didn’t want to push your boundaries by walking in when you were in a vulnerable position. The sound of you telling him to ‘Go away’ nearly made him wince.

A sigh escaped his lips as he rested his forehead against the door. He couldn’t stand the feeling of you being this upset with him. Your marriage wasn’t perfect by any means, but you had never shut him out like this. He called out keeping his voice gentle “Please let me in, (Y/N).”

There was a pause as he waited. You shuffled to the door and opened it without looking at him. You didn’t want to face him, but you couldn’t leave him outside the door like a kicked dog. You returned to your spot on the bed without a word.

Frankie awkwardly followed and placed himself next to you.

“I’m sorry,” He whispered. He couldn’t take it. He was the reason you looked this upset and that killed him inside.

“This is another thing with the guys, isn’t it?” You asked as you finally looked at him. 

He nodded his head faintly. His eyes studied your expression and it was filled with disappointment. You brought your hands to your face trying to remain calm. Your relationship had always been filled with communication and you wanted to keep it that way.

“I’m just so…” You bit your lip feeling the tears coming back. “I’m so hurt. You didn’t even ask me, Frankie. Why would you do something this dangerous while we’re trying to have a baby? I thought you were finished with all of this when we got married.”

He found himself forcing back his own emotions. He wasn’t comfortable with crying; but as with everything in his life, it was different when it came to you. He hasn’t felt this kind of guilt since your second year of marriage, when you found out about his little cocaine problem he tried to hide from you. That was a war within itself that left the two of you crying on the floor a couple of times because you refused to let him spiral throughout his recovery.

He cleared his throat trying to push away the burn. “I know…” He wrapped his arms around you trying to soothe your shaking figure. “I was done… but Santigato needs a pilot, and I thought we could use the extra money for the baby. I thought I was doing the right thing for us.”

You were upset still, but his words melted your heart. That’s Frankie for you. He tried so hard to be the perfect husband. And he was in your eyes. He was such a good man and he did everything for you without a complaint, but he personally struggled to feel like he was enough. A part of you knew deep down Frankie had never forgiven himself for the cocaine situation he had put you through. He carried the guilt on his shoulders, no matter how many times you told him that it wasn’t something for him to feel guilty about. That never stopped Frankie from trying to do more to show his worth and love for you.

“Money isn’t worth your life.” You looked up at him. You noticed his eyes were glossed over before he kissed your temple to hide away his pain. He forced out a strained ‘I know’.

You knew that you could guilt Frankie out of this mission, but that seemed unfair to do to him. He wanted to do this because it would prove that he could provide, and that he was the husband he wanted to be. Could you really push down your own fears to allow your husband on some stupid operation so he can have self closure?

You let out a sigh. You shifted to hug him back and his arms tightened around you in response. You mumbled into his chest “... How long would you be gone?” 

He stiffened in realization that you were considering letting him do this.

“I don’t know…A week or two.” His hand started to rub up and down your back. He knew this was stressful for you, and that’s why he was even more grateful that you were considering.

“Is it…” You wanted to ask if it was dangerous, but of course it was. Everything he did with them was dangerous. You silently recalled the stories he told you about the shit he did before you started dating. You take in a deep breath and change the question, “How risky?” 

“I told Pope I wasn’t doing anything with active fire.” 

You hummed in acknowledgment. At least he put down a ground rule. That didn’t change the fact that anything could go wrong though, and that’s what scared the hell out of you. It was hard to make a call on this when you were wrapped safely in his arms. His cologne surrounded you and brought peace like a favorite candle. 

It dawned upon you. “Frankie, what about your pilot license?” You questioned, confused. He was still under review, he couldn’t legally fly anything right now. His chest vibrated as an uncomfortable chuckle came from him. 

“It doesn’t really matter in this case… Will knows a guy.”

“Sounds legal.” You joked. He gave a half-hearted smirk at the comment.

You pulled back from his arms with a hesitant nod. He was surprised that you were giving him the green light to do this. His heart beat a little faster as it reminded him of another reason why he loved you.

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah,” You collected some air for a second. Forcing yourself to come with the terms that this was going to happen. “If you feel like this is something you need to do… Then I’m here to back you up.”

You blinked before suddenly his lips were on yours. You didn’t hesitate to kiss him back and fall backwards on the bed. He was above you as he leaned away slightly, his chest pressing against yours with heavy breathes.

“I love you.” His brown eyes looked over your face. He studied every part of it. He had seen it so many times and somehow each time it managed to take his breath away. How did he land someone like you?

“I love you too, Frankie.” You smiled at him. Your hand reached up to run through his hair. You liked when he kept his hair long like this, and so he never cut it too short. He didn’t care either way since he covered it with a ball cap most of the time anyway.

You didn’t notice his hand started to explore further until your breath hitched. You weren’t sure when his hand slid under your dress, his fingers tracing the bottom of your panties causing you to freeze from the contact.

“Francisco.” You shivered from his touch, which only brought out that shit eating grin of his. 

“What?” He played innocent before he started to press kisses in a trail down your neck. Pleased when he heard the soft moan that escaped your lips after he left a love-bite. He  could feel himself practically drunk off your perfume alone. “I just want to show you how much I’ll miss you.”

You started to lean into his touch as his fingers pulled at the soft fabric. He lifted himself up to look at you again. The need in your eyes making him weak. You stopped him by his wrist and he paused immediately.

“What about Jacob and Hannah?” You blinked at the sudden memory of your neighbors downstairs. The last thing you needed was your friends hearing you moan from the upstairs window. 

“Oh,” Frankie breathed out in relief. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the idea that you’re worried about the neighbors after everything that happened tonight. “I sent them home after you went inside, honey.”

“Dammit!” You cursed quietly. “I didn’t get a chance to give them dessert, I made cheesecake.” 

You frowned at him a little regretful of how the night ended with them. He laid there propped up on his elbow admiring your beauty. He was so beyond whipped for you, and it was the best part of his life. His smile returned as he leaned forward pressing a soft kiss on your lips before he pulled back again.

“Too bad for them,” He commented and you watched him move to the spot between your legs. His hands busied themselves unbuttoning the sundress you wore as he looked back at you. Your cheeks flushed as you realized where he was going with this. “I found something else sweet to eat.”

+

He had only left a couple of days ago, but you missed him so much. The two of you had never spent more than a weekend apart. Plus, you had something important to tell him. Your hands nervously shake as you look at the white stick.

There it was in front of you… The little pink lines you’ve been praying to see. Tears pooled your eyes as emotion took over again. You were filled with an indescribable type of joy. You had no idea which night was the reason for this surprise because honestly your sex life with Frankie was a regular occurance. And now you had a new reason to be thankful for that.

You had taken the test a few hours before but it felt so unreal that you continued to come back and look again. You did a couple of them just to be sure, and everytime the pretty color appeared in front of your eyes. As happy as you were inside from the news, this only heightened the state of your anxiety because Frankie wasn’t home.

You weren’t even sure if you should tell him until he came back. A part of you was worried this would be a distraction that could throw him off, and you didn’t want him to have another thing to worry about at home.

Looking in the mirror as you placed the test back on the counter. The soft smile beautifully placed on your face. You wished Frankie was here to experience the moment with you. You imagined you’d be squeezed into a hug right about now.

You jumped as your cell phone brought you back to reality. The screen lit up from the spot on your bed waiting for you to pick up the call. An unrecognizable number from Brazil…. Frankie?

“Hello?” You questioned nervously.

“Hey, it’s me.” Frankie’s voice was on the other end. You relaxed at the sound. He was safe right now. 

“Hey! How’re you holding up?” You asked. 

“Uh,” He let out a small huff before he continued. “Everything is planned out… Which means you might not hear from me for a few days.”

“Yeah, I figured so.” 

You knew this part was coming, he told you in advance. Once everything was sorted out that means he’d be out of service until they’re back on their way home. That didn’t stop the small pit of sadness from washing over you.

. It was going to be difficult to not know if he was alive for several days.

“Hey, hey,” He called out softly into the phone trying to bring back your attention to him. He knows how easy it is to spiral into every ‘what if’ possible. “I know what you’re doing. It’ll be fine, sweetheart.” 

You listened with the phone pressed against your ear. The sound of him shuffling away from what sounded like the guys in the background.  He continued talking in a hushed tone for privacy, “This will be good for us… Money for the future baby, right?”

It was an attempt to cheer you up and keep your spirits high about the whole ordeal. Your view shifted back to the bathroom as you let out a shaky breath. You wanted to tell him now, it seemed impossible to keep him out of the loop for several days. What if Frankie died never knowing? The thought made you feel sick.

“Actually, I…” You stuttered out. You paused as your mind raced between the idea of not telling him and spilling out the truth right now. No, no, you couldn’t hold this in. You had to tell him in case anything happened. Consider it encouragement to come home.

“Francisco?” 

“Yeah? I’m here, baby.” He waited patiently as there was a small pause on your end. His nerves started to feel uneasy by your sudden hesitation. His own what ifs started to float around his brain.

“I’m pregnant.” You say it in one motion. Not rushed, but quick.

His eyebrows scrunched together and he stood still in the room alone for a moment. His mind trying to process what you just told him through the phone. He heard the words clearly, but his brain wouldn’t connect them together.

“What?” He asked dumbfounded.

“Frankie, I’m pregnant. The test was positive.”

His breath hitched and his heart stopped, “Wait, really?”. The two of you talked about becoming parents for so long, and he tried to be encouraging the past few months. It seemed unreal to finally hear the words out loud. “I-... This is… We’re going to be parents.” 

“Yeah,” Your voice broke, but you were filled to the brim with happiness. “We’re going to be parents, Frankie.”

You heard it, and you almost didn’t believe your ears. There was a sob on the other end of the phone. He tried to hold it in as he covered his mouth with his hand, a couple of tears falling down his face in the process. Frankie hardly cried like this. It was the type of cry that comes from the bottom of someone’s soul and it only surfaced if somebody died or a fucking mirale happened to you.

“Francisco?” 

“I’m here, baby.” He repeated the words he used earlier. This time his voice strained from emotion. He wiped his face with his hand trying to collect himself before he had to return back to his friends. “I’m just overwhelmed… In the best way possible. Fuck, we’re going to be parents!”

You let out a small laugh trying to stop your own crying. “I’m so happy, I can’t wait for you to come home.” 

He chewed on his bottom lip for a moment before replying, his voice leveled out now “Let’s celebrate when I come home. Whatever you want to do, I’ll do it. What about that restaurant you’re always talking about, baby?”

You snorted. “Frankie, you hate that place.” 

It was true… It was overpriced and he didn’t think the food was worth the forty minute drive, but that didn’t matter to him. He just wanted to spoil you for everything you’ve done. You allowed him to come on this stupid operation in the first place, and now you’re pregnant with his child.  

“It doesn’t matter, I know you love their fettuccine alfredo.” 

“Frankie Morales, you know my weakness.” You hummed into the phone. 

He chuckled in response before replying “How do you think you got pregnant in the first place, sweetheart?”

You burst into laughter “You’re terrible for that.”

His laughing was cut short as someone walked in the room. You heard them mumble out ‘we have to go’ before Frankie replied an okay back. 

“I have to go, mi amor.”

The nervousness returned as you were forced to remember this was it for now. You weren’t going to hear from him for a couple of days and you’d have to hope everything went smoothly on his end. “Be careful, please?”

“Of course. I’ll be home in a few days, okay?” He said the words like a promise rather than a reassurance. “Don’t stress yourself out over this, and take care of yourself until I come back. I love you, (Y/N).” 

“I love you too, Francisco.”

The phone clicked and the call ended. He had such a new fire in him now. His heart pounding in his chest was only a reminder that he lived another day to be needed. His focus was now on coming home in one piece. He had a wife and kid on the way, and nothing would stop him from coming home to you. 

Taglist: @warrentrash @mandoclan

[renaerys]

Prompt 50. But Berserk & Boomer😔👉👈💕

50. “I thought you left.”

We’re calling this one Unfortunately, She Impressed Him. This is a pair of characters I love with all my heart in any flavor of relationship and can’t wait to write more of in my ongoing multi-chapter fic Trinity House over on AO3.

This fic is part of a prompt challenge that is now closed to new requests, but you can read all the completed submissions here. Reminder that the challenge is to make everything SFW, so we’re getting creative here.

xxx

Boomer was halfway across the deserted lobby of Faust Keating Rogers, LLP when he realized he’d forgotten his keys at his desk. He groaned aloud because it was 8 p.m. and no one was around to hear him because they had all gone home to their families hours ago like normal people. Boomer didn’t have two to three kids and a house in the suburbs, though, and neither did his boss. The three hour lull reserved for dinner, baths, and bedtimes before the evening work-from-home grind offered him no alternative but to power through. He fully planned to grab take out on his way home and enjoy an episode of whatever was on HBOMax before getting back to the tedious work of reviewing the draft prospectus statement his boss had sent him to proof by tomorrow morning.

Except, his keys were forty floors up and he now had to risk running into her again when he’d managed to slip away so neatly. He’d even removed his tie on the elevator ride down, and now he rubbed his exposed neck, flushed with anxiety over what might happen if she saw him and asked him to stick around to finish the work here.

“Nice going, dumbass,” he lamented as he stepped onto the elevator and hit the button for the fortieth floor.

It wasn’t that Boomer disliked his job. In fact, he didn’t mind it at all. It was better than slinging drinks or waiting tables. He had health insurance, a steady paycheck, and a resumé that could proudly display the name of one of the most elite accounting firms in the country. He could pivot his career if he wanted to, as Brick would say. Boomer wasn’t thinking about his next job right now, though. Right now, he was thinking about this one and how his boss was a hard-ass and a workaholic even if she was brilliant, and how there was a one hundred percent chance she would detect him coming back to his desk (which was annoyingly set up right in front of her office so that he could answer her calls, manage her meetings, and deal with whoever passed close enough to her event horizon to get suckered into the latest heinous audit in need of staffing).

There were his traitorous keys sitting on the desk next to the framed picture of his brothers. He glared at them, as if they were a forgotten household item that had developed a supernatural grudge like in those old Japanese folktales he liked to read online. He half expected them to jingle and alert his boss to his presence, just to spite him.

They didn’t, and he slipped them into his pocket as quietly as could be. He released the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and took a beat. It was quiet. Most of the offices were dark, save for a few poor souls in the large conference room stuck on the ongoing year-end audit for one of the firm’s most important clients: Unicorn, Inc. His boss’s office was also lit up behind her closed door, but she hadn’t called out to him like she would during the day when he got back from his lunch break hoping for a few minutes to catch up on emails in peace before she dumped more work on him.

This, of course, was odd. The small legion of assistants who had come before Boomer were notorious for their short-term employment working this specific desk. The work was demanding and so was the boss, but there was something else that set her apart from other senior associates in the International Tax Services division, something that seemed to intimidate away any support the higher ups sent her way. Denise a couple desks down had warned Boomer not to bring too many personal effects to the office; chances were he wasn’t going to last long. Boomer had smiled thinly and thanked Denise for her advice, and brought the picture of his brothers in the next morning because he had his pride and Brick told him it was healthy to indulge that once in a while. Brick would certainly know.

So here he was, uncertain. Anxiety over having to sit here for another two hours finishing work and having tepid Doordash delivered pulled him toward the elevator and escape, while that annoying, rare pride demanded he check on his boss and make sure she knew he was here to support her, lest she get the idea that he needed to be fired.

The longer he stood there, indecisive, the greater his curiosity grew. What was she doing in there? It was quiet, even when he strained his Super hearing. He could hear Dean Matheson pouring whiskey a few offices down (that guy had a drinking problem and everyone knew they only kept him around because he had the Unicorn, Inc. account), Adebayo Hansou on a conference call with Dubai that was escalating to profanity, Shelly Kim with her head down and typing away at an Excel spreadsheet like a pro. Their assistants were long gone for the night, but here was Boomer, loitering and indecisive and what is she doing in there not yelling at me when she definitely knows I’m here?

He couldn’t take it anymore. He knocked on the closed door—rap, rap, rap—and called out softly, “Berserk?”

A beat, then: “Come in.”

Finding his boss in upward facing dog while still in her pencil skirt was not a sight Boomer was prepared for. Berserk had her eyes closed as she stretched at a near ninety degree angle and listened to music on her Airpods. Boomer had never seen her with her heels off and her mane of red hair thrown together in a messy bun; it was so casual that it was almost obscene.

“You’re staring.”

Fuck, he was staring and now she was looking right at him down her nose, even though she was the one on the floor. He stood up straighter, unable to help himself when she took that tone that reminded him so much of Brick’s when he was about to criticize, but he didn’t avert his gaze. “Sorry.”

She breathed in deeply through her nose and hoisted herself up into downward dog position. “Why are you here?”

Forgot my keys seemed like a really lame excuse that she’d probably laugh at him for, but he also was not in the habit of making shit up on the spot if he hoped to make people believe him. “I forgot my keys.” He took them from his pocket to show her, as if she might not know what keys are, as a concept.

“Smart locks.” Berserk exhaled and slowly walked her hands back on the yoga mat until she reached her feet and began to swing slowly left and right.

Huh? he almost said like an idiot, until he caught himself. “Don’t think my landlord would approve of me installing that.” Also, those things were like $200 a pop, which was not worth the occasional inconvenience and shame of forgetting his keys and then catching his boss doing yoga in her office after hours.

Berserk made some noncommittal sound like whatever, peasant and slowly uncurled upward one vertebra at a time. Boomer realized he was back to staring again, literally lingering in her door watching her and trying to equate this subdued, casual version of Berserk with the terse, no-nonsense businesswoman he was used to dealing with on a daily basis.

When she finally achieved her full height, she popped her neck. The hair that was too short for her bun fell in around her narrow face in a stylish, athleisure sort of way. The top buttons on her blouse were undone. She wore a small, golden necklace he’d never noticed before because he wasn’t in the habit of checking out his boss. “I thought you left.”

The accusatory nature of her words were totally at odds with her flat tone, only the barest hint of curiosity dangling there at the end, like she expected him to respond.

Oh, she expected him to respond.

Boomer took another step into her office because he was full of poor judgment today. “I forgot my keys.”

At which point he showed her his keys again and also had a mild stroke, because what the fuck are you doing, mate?

Berserk smiled. “Yeah, I got that part.”

Was she laughing at him? He had never heard her laugh before, unless it was at Dean Matheson, that comb-over in denial who, in addition to being a high functioning alcoholic, also had a reputation for throwing associates under the bus when a client wasn’t happy.

Boomer smiled back, because that was what he did when people smiled at him, and ‘people’ now included Berserk, apparently.

“Well, since you’re here,” she said as she padded around to her desk.

Crap, there was the work he was afraid of soliciting from her by remaining in the building. He debated an excuse to give her: picking up dry cleaning? Plausible, but transparent. Meeting up with his brothers? No, she’d probably make him stay all night for the chance to ruin Brick’s plans.

“Thai or Mexican?”

Boomer stared dumbly. He was becoming quite good at that (10,000 hours and you can become an expert at anything, they say). “Huh?”

The yoga must have put Berserk in an exceedingly gracious mood, because she actually repeated her question without getting that look on her face like she was picturing him getting trampled by stampeding monsters. “Thai or Mexican? I don’t have a preference.”

Oh.

Oh.

Boomer’s stomach picked that time to snarl at him—8 p.m. and still no dinner, the fiend.

Berserk snorted in laughter and fanned herself with her phone. “Jesus. Mexican it is.”

Which was how Boomer found himself on the small sofa tucked in the corner of Berserk’s office, shoes off and belt loosened, with enough tacos, tamales, and rice and beans to feed a small family. He even had a beer from the mini fridge Berserk kept under her desk.

She hadn’t stayed late to work. Well, she had, but only because she didn’t have a reason to go home.

“I just hate getting home to a dark apartment sometimes,” she said in between bites of food. She had her legs tucked up under her on the sofa close enough to brush Boomer’s thigh if he reached to grab the salsa.

“I thought you lived with your sister?”

“Brute got her own place a few months ago. The arrangement was only temporary while she was in between jobs.”

It was weird knowing so little about a person whose whole family had been in Boomer’s inner orbit since childhood. As far as he knew, Berserk wasn’t close to any of her cousins, not even Blossom. Boomer himself had never been more eager to leave a room than when Brat walked into it. Only Butch, Brute, and Buttercup had ever found common ground among each other once the sworn rivalries and blood feuds of their youth gave way to teenage rebellion against their respective overlord fathers and then the slog of adulthood that was inescapable even for a bunch of Supers flying high on Chemical X.

The fact that Boomer had gotten this job surprised him more than anyone. After drifting from restaurant jobs to office temp placements over the last six years, he’d never thought he would dust off his economics degree and land a temp-to-permanent position that seemed way above his qualifications. And he never thought it would be working for a woman he’d most definitely electrocuted in battle at least a dozen times before puberty.

“What?”

Boomer blinked. He’d been staring again, Jesus Christ. “Sorry, I was just thinking… I didn't know that. I’ve been working here for five months and I don’t actually know much about you at all.”

“Hm.”

Her magenta eyes were wine-dark against the murky sky beyond the window forty stories up. Boomer did avert his gaze this time to reach for the salsa, but he didn’t use it.

“I don’t even know why you invited me to stay for dinner in the office if we’re not going to do any work.”

“Why did you stay?”

“For the free food.”

Berserk grinned—the third time she had smiled at him tonight (or ever). He needed to stop counting; he’d be disappointed when it stopped happening tomorrow.

“Don’t get used to it. Much as I appreciate the company now and again, there’s no need for both of us to be stuck here while Matheson’s breathing down the associates’ necks. Can’t have him poaching you out from under me.”

“Well, I don’t work for him; I work for you.”

“It’s sweet how you don’t understand office politics.” She ate a lone slice of avocado with a fork. “He landed Unicorn back when they were early stage, and back when he was still putting in the work to earn his reputation. But since they IPO’d three years ago and make up twenty percent of our revenue now, he’s just another big name coasting by on associate work. You know he regularly schedules client calls and just doesn’t bother to show up? He forgets half the time, and the other half he’s busy playing golf or buying a yacht or whatever the fuck rich, white Boomers do.”

“Well, as a Boomer myself, I can say I’ve spent exactly zero hours buying yachts.”

She chuckled. Fourth time. “Oh, really.”

“Never even thought of yachts. As far as I’m concerned, they’re not even real.”

“Thanks for your expert opinion.”

“Any time.” Boomer turned his body to face her and draped his arm over the back of the sofa. With only the soft light from the floor lamp in the corner, he imagined himself adrift in the darkness, the sky scraper lights nearby stars. It was a lonely thought, one made romantic in the knowledge that she was here too, and he wasn’t actually alone.

“Matheson almost did poach you, you know.”

“What do you mean?” Boomer couldn’t recall exchanging more than a few words with the man.

“When we were filling support positions. Someone recognized you from the news a few years back, when the Cyclops Monster attacked the marina district and you and your brothers took it out. Matheson got it in his head that you’d be able to work at Super speed and help lower his billables.”

“Wow. Maybe you should’ve let him. What do you think the net savings would be in yacht units of measurement?”

Berserk rolled her eyes, but she was smiling again. “I claimed you before he could get the paperwork in.”

Boomer hyper-focused on that word: claimed. He also pointedly ignored it entirely, much in the same way he ignored the new count of five smiles tonight. “Showed him your bending powers, did you?”

Berserk’s Corona bottle turned frosty under her hand in a totally unnecessary, big dick energy display of said powers, and she took another sip. “No. Sharon from HR likes me. And I promised her I wouldn’t fire you after three months like your predecessors.”

Flattered was not how Boomer would describe the feeling of being claimed by Berserk and eluding Matheson’s vampiric clutches. But he was a bit tickled all the same. This was the woman Butch had once described as essentially Brick, if he were constipated all the time.

And then he realized what she was doing. “Hey, you’re sharing things about yourself.”

She clinked her bottle to his, and Boomer shivered at the frosty chill she transferred on contact. “Aw, you figured it out all by yourself.”

“Ha ha.”

She didn’t quite smile, but she did look kind of serene then, content even, as she lay back against the arm of the sofa and yawned. Her gold necklace—just a simple disk with an engraving Boomer could not make out—reflected the lamp light when she moved. It rested just beneath her collarbone, which had suddenly become the single-most interesting part of Berserk, and oh no, was he interested—

“You’re staring again.”

Son of a bitch.

“Sorry,” he said automatically. “I didn’t mean to.”

Hard no. He was not allowed to be any percent attracted to Berserk. First, she was his boss, and there was a cliché here that, while subverted on the gender role spectrum, was still very risky for both of them. Second, she was Berserk, a fellow Super, cousin to his best friend Bubbles and a shrewd, stiletto bitch in Brick’s estimation, which sounded bad. Not that she was bad, or even evil, unless you counted helping rich corporations accurately report their taxes while taking advantage of the many egregious loopholes in the Internal Revenue Code. Which, okay, point taken, but he also worked here and anyway, people should not be deemed good or evil so much as their choices ought to be—

“Are you thinking about fucking me?”

You shrewd, stiletto bitch!

She was smiling again, and Boomer pathetically logged that as the sixth time, although he wasn’t sure he should count it given the overt malice behind it.

Unfortunately, Boomer was, as had been previously established, very bad at making shit up on the fly. So he miserably said, “Yeah.”

“Hm.”

She sipped her beer slowly, and of course he watched. If it was out in the open, as fleeting a bout of insanity as it may have been, at least he could wallow in it without worrying about appearances.

It was the yoga. That fucking upward facing dog, Jesus Christ.

It was more than that too. Over the last few months, he had worked closely with her, watched her navigate the cutthroat halls full of piranhas like Matheson and other account managers, getting herself work on the best clients while managing her juniors with efficiency and professionalism. She was excellent and sharp, and she demanded excellency and sharpness in kind. After years of going it alone or temping for bosses who didn’t care enough even to learn his name, much less provide him with guidance and mentorship, it was an unspeakable relief to work under someone who knew how to rally the troops. Someone who knew how to lead, how to motivate, and how to reward loyalty with loyalty in return. It didn’t hurt that she looked amazing in her daily stilettos, either.

Unfortunately, she impressed him.

“I have some work to get done tonight.” Berserk stood up and smoothed her skirt.

Boomer scrambled to his feet. “Of course! Um.” He began closing food containers and repackaging them in the bags they’d come in, because he was panicking. “I’ll get rid of the trash. Do you want the leftovers in the fridge?”

“You take them. Otherwise my office will smell like a burrito for a week.”

“Okay.” Numbly, Boomer finished packing everything up, while Berserk made her way back to her desk and logged into her computer to check her emails.

Boomer lingered at the door. “I’ll have the prospectus back to you later tonight.”

“Thanks.”

Wow, way to go, stud.

He turned to leave, but her voice stopped him.

“Boomer?”

“Yeah?”

“Friday is good.”

He stared back at her in expert mode. “Huh?”

Berserk poked her head around the side of her large, external monitor. She was smiling again. Lucky number seven. “For fucking.”

“Okay,” Boomer said.

Okay?!

She pulled back behind her monitor. “I was going to get a cat, but you’ll do much better.”

Because she didn’t like going home to a dark, empty apartment alone. With no one to fuck.

“That was a joke.”

“Yeah, I got that,” he croaked.

Friday is for fucking, he thought, which was delightful alliteration and also completely insane and one hundred percent something he was getting more on board with by the nanosecond.

“See you tomorrow,” she said.

Boomer clutched the leftover Mexican food in his fist. “Okay. Goodnight.”

It took him the time to fly home and put the food away in his small fridge to realize that he had a sort-of date with Berserk lined up for two days from now.

He Y-posed at the window and whooped, “Hell yes!!”

Loud pounding in the floor followed by old Mrs. Cruikshank’s muffled Keep it down! couldn’t bring down his mood.

Boomer leaped onto his threadbare, living room sofa with his work laptop and took to the prospectus with alacrity. He’d send over superior work product and make Berserk’s job just that much easier tomorrow morning.

xxx

If you enjoy my writing, check out more of my fics on AO3, link in my profile. I’m currently updating Trinity House (which has a lot more Berserk and Boomer content, btw!) and The Alchemy of Us. Thanks for reading!

[heretherebedork]

I am here to hurt myself by watching WBL2. I know it ends in a reward but the beginning is nothing but agony and why I haven't watched it before. I am already in pain just from watching any tiny amount of pain of these boys.

lol I am literally refering to this as my day of atonement.

... I did make a very nice Rosh Hashanah post but that doesn't make me particularly religious, tbh. Cultural Judaism, yo.

Also, pain. Hi pain.

Ugh, I avoided this pain for so long. Now I'm here for it. One post. I'm only making this one post. @absolutebl I'm doing it! I know how much you love this, though.

Oh, fuck it, if I'm trying to limit all my rambling to one post I might as well read more it. I ramble so much.

Ep 1:

Oh look pain. Pain. And more pain. Yup. Yup. I hate this kind of plot even if I know it resolves well. At least it's not cheating but STILL hi dying. Shu Yi is a darling boy who deserved better than five years of nothing for any reason and Gao Shi De should have been better than that. Even knowing it ends well doesn't make this easier. dgkldf GODDAMN IT SELF. Just watch the show and stop being a baby about emotional pain.

Awww, the matching ties! I've seen that post a dozen times and love it every time and it's good to see.

The fucking way Gao Shi De just tries to walk back into his life without a second word or hesitation or thought makes me SO DAMN TWITCHY. Poor Shu Yi. Also, Gao Shi De deserves every punch and slap and uuughhh this show was designed to hurt me. I HATE relationships falling apart. Absolutely my least favorite trope/plot point of practically all time.I hate it I hate iiiit I hate it so muuuuuch.

I mean, damn, the acting here is amazing beyond words, obviously. But that just makes it hurt more. Especially Shu Yi's pain that he's put behind so much anger and work just to keep himself functional and it's damn gorgeous DAMNit.

Ep 2:

Darling Shu Yi deserved so much better. Even though Gao Shi De wasn't cheating on him, he deserved better than the silence and disappearance and he deserves the goddamn world. Ugh literally like a minute into the episode and already there is so much pain. I know they end up happy but I almost want to just tell Shu Yi to tell Gao Shi De to fuck off forever.

Nope, Gao Shi De, you deserve the pain. Shu Yi does't, you do, your upset doesn't get me upset. Shu Yi's pain is the only one I regret in this show. But, seriously, doing all this in front of the whole company is such a bastard move in his part honestly. Poor Shu Yi, seriously.

I do love my tiny obviously favorite character, though, and his tiny inability to sit and his tiny double hands for everything and I adore him beyond measure.

Ugh, Shu Yi choosing to fake the return of trust and friendship and love and I am proud of him for doing that and no, I don't care, Gao Shi De deserves it. I mean, it's not a good or healthy choice but, you know what, I'm okay with that.

But seriously. Poor Shu Yi. Has to deal with being ghosted and then Gao Shi De's return and then an extremely drunk ex crying on him when he's just trying to go to work... at midnight, okay, maybe not healthy either.

Ep 3:

Oh, Gao Shi De. You're an idiot. I mean that... only with a tiny bit of affection and mostly with me rolling my eyes. Making a promise to his dad wasn't bright of you. I mean, seriously, 5 years without contacting him, telling him what happened and on the condition that Shu Yi doesn't try to move on in five years of being completely ghosted. That's just dumb to an astonishingly level of dumb.

Ugh, poor Shu Yi. Your dad and your ex are both idiots and they deserve to get away from you just like you want. Seriously. You poor young man. You deserved so much better from the people you love.

But seriously fuck Gao Shi De and Shu Yi's dad. You're both idiots who don't deserve him. Especially his dad. But also especially Gao Shi De. Seriously. This is why we talk to people, damnit. Poor Shu Yi.

Why, yes, that's my main take away from this show. Shu Yi deserved so much better. Gao Shi De's need to constantly solve everything by himself is the biggest problem in the show, oy vey.

OF COURSE he wants to go back to that time. He was loved and loved and trusted you and happy and comfortable and who wouldn't want to go back to that?

Yu Zhen Xuan is my darling, obviously, and Pei Shou Yi's wanting to take care of him but also to stay away from him for his own sake. Oh, boys.

Ep 4:

I know they get better at some point. I really do. Shu Yi is still breaking my heart, though. I just want to see the poor darling smile and not in a flashback.

Oh, Shu Yi. You deserve the world, seriously. I mean, I'm glad you've managed to come back around to trying to believe in Gao Shi De. I really am. But man he doesn't deserve it. But also ugh, this embrace, utterly fantastic. Darling Shu Yi is finally smiling!

And poor Yu Zhen Xuan trying to ask about Pei Shou Yi so deseperately and being denied everything... ugh, I love him so much. But mostly just Yu Zhen Xuan wanting that connection so badly but always, again and again, denied and I just want to comfort him so badly. Yes, he's coming to you but, I mean, what is friendship but going to other people for comfort? Awww, the two ramens. The BABY.

But also darling Shu Yi is finally smiling and Gao Shi De does bring him comfort and love and they're genuinely good to and for each other, at least, once they're together. Now they just need to actually talk to each other about what happened.

The simultaneous "DAD" was gorgeous. Okay, that was really good.

Ep 5:

Ah, my long awaited darling boy's backstory that I know and love. The tiny panic and fear and the way he jumps and fights back at the tiniest thing... I love this feral teenager SO MUCH and then he grows up into a CTO for a major company and it's even better.

Plus, Pei Shou Yi looking for him after telling him not to come back because the mug got returned? Ugh, heartbreaking but in like a sad, small kind of way.

And the darling CEOs teasing each other in front of their employees while also in suits and being uplifting and good at supporting them? A+ how does one go about getting bosses like that? Also, how Shu Yi looks at Gao Shi De when he's being a good boss? Also A+.

Okay, yes, they're adorable and tiny and the piggyback ride while also in suits and looking fine is simple the best of the best and Gao Shi De taking care of Shu Yi while also confronting his father is frankly amazing. Oh, darling boys.

Gao Shi De, he already admitted that he did this entirely to trick you and Shu Yi is perfectly willing to take a stand against his father. Stop trying to win him over. Let Shu Yi handle his family. His dad's an idiot and he's not gonna listen to you.

Ep 6:

More backstory for my darling feral teenager and the doctor who took care of him at his lowest. I love them both so much. I wish they'd gotten more of a story but I'm not entirely sure I want a third season about them either.

Portable boyfriend! Well! Portable boy... friend...

Also, Shu Yi and Gao Shi De, you have no right to talk about them not communicating, seriously boys, love you to death but seriously communication... actually, honestly, Shu Yi is great at communication. He can criticize them. Gao Shi De has no right.

Pei Shou Yi, seriously, you say these things about not having any emotion but you also admit that you knew he evoked a response from you. You definitely remembered and had feelings about him when you were separated. I mean, you even saved the ramen that was his favorite. You looked for him. I know it's scary but that's okay.

Shu Yi is just so adorable about meeting the in-laws and being all awkward and adorable and it's beyond cute and then the talk about his dad and family and they're just adorable and domestic and sweet and how dare they.

Literally, Shu Yi is the best person in the world and the two people who love him most can learn a lot from him.

Ugh, Yu Zhen Xuan is my baby and I love him so much and he's just doing his best to be his best and he wants to love and be loved but he's trying so hard and I love him so much. He's just such a darling and he also deserves the world and to be loved just as he loves.

And we had to have another pool kiss, of course, what darlings.

Pei Shou Yei: I don't experience emotions... except the ones involved in protect Yu Zhen Xuan because those aren't emotions, those are just natural urges and don't count.

Awww, proposals are always adorable and sweet.

I did it! I've finally watched the whole thing, between dramacool and dailymotion I've managed to watch this show. Yay for me!