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Fadel is fighting his traitorous heart whenever he looks at Style, whenever Stye calls him his boyfriend, whenever Style smiles or tears up or looks at him or looks away... it's a fighting he cannot win because what he wants is what he deserves... a chance to lay down his burdens and rest, to lean on someone who understands and sees all of him.

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Cannot believe there's more tomorrow. Look at them! Style and Fadel in black and white (the light to his dark, the one person who offers him a refuge from the darkness and a chance at something more) while Kant and Bison are in gray and purple (Is purple because Bison is red and Kant is blue or is it just vibrancy versus Kant's grays and calm? Could be either!) and they're all gonna be together on the island and Style is going to be injured and Fadel's trust is finally here to be won and the communication is slowly shaping itself around them.

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Style drew a tear track down Fadel's cheek in a moment of true freedom, in a moment of asking for honesty and openness, trying to show Fadel he could be himself and everything from there has been pain and betrayal and Fadel abandoning that freedom for fear of the lies he can't escape and now it's up to Style to show him that there was sincerity and that he deserves more than a life of secrecy and pain.

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Aou and Boom have the most versatility and range I've seen in an branded pair. They've done an established couple grappling with coming out and jealousy, a tender and loving green flags all the way down couple with powerful found family vibes and now they're doing all the way back to old school toxic relationship notes with hints of trauma and possession. They are glorious and I only want more.

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Ah, the thrills of getting an email from the district superintendent saying that we will be in school tomorrow because the threshold for us is -30 with windchill and it will only be -25. Ah, Chicago.

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It's -11 degrees F outside right now, with windchill, and I'm still using my day off to go to a Japanese grocery store despite the travel it takes because I can, basically. Now the real question... Korean food or Japanese food for lunch?

The Korean place is gone! I'm so sad! And getting replaced by another tempura place. True sadness.

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It's not a funny misunderstanding in that romcom, it's sexual harassment from a person in power!

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Nothing like a tiptoe kiss and a forehead kiss at the same time? Thank you for seme!Mix, GMMTV. Please do this more.

Bonus: Touching where he was kissed.

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Too bad, so sad, leave him alone. But if that happened, this would the world's shortest show so... Yeah, nope.

Man, all of Heng's relationships are a bit fucked up, aren't they?

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Heng's an idiot who can turn down Mo but obviously can't say not to his boss, Kongdech is a man who assumes everything is happening exactly as he assumes it is and treats Heng like an object instead of a person, Mo fell in love with a version of Heng that doesn't actually exist and alternates between treating him as a person and an object just as surely as their boss does.

... Why do I want any of these men to find love?

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It doesn't work as a love triangle when Heng is so deeply uncomfortable being with his boss in any way that it just feels like he'd rather crawl out of his skin than be there and is constantly chasing Mo.

Like, you can't call it a love triangle if all Heng wants to do it run away. There's no triangle, there's just... a creepy boss that he can't say no to because he's literally his boss and a friend that he's super awkward about all the time because, frankly, they're all assholes.

... Look, I am watching this show because Earth is adorable and looks a decade younger than he did in either ATOTS or Moonlight Chicken and it's fascinating to me.

It's not funny. I'm deeply uncomfortable with everyone. I don't want any of these relationships to happen. Sigh. Comedies are never my favorite.

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Just me wondering if Fadel will ever take a nap with his head in Style's lap since one of the major themes of their relationship is him learning how to rest because Style can take care of him and wouldn't that just be perfect? If he could lie down and set his head on Style's leg and just sleep, knowing he was safe and protected and loved, knowing he could put down his burden and be cared for this time.

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It's how Yotha responded to his family's issues by latching onto a single person and making them his everything while Faifah reacted to their issues by giving everyone everything he had and never letting anyone feel unloved or unimportant.

Two brothers, one family, very different trauma responses.

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It's Yotha's pain when Gun says he understands why he doesn't like good dreams because he took so much comfort from Gun not understanding. Now he's the one that taught him to prefer nightmares.

Bonus: Faifah's eternal suffering continues

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Gun pulling away from Yotha and stepping behind Faifah because he's hurt and he's scared and he cares but he doesn't know what to trust.

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A very good and very needed slap. Oh, toxic boys.

(Although I must admit, I enjoy that this is toxic and they all know it. It's like singing Anti-Hero in my head all the time...

It's me, hi // I'm the problem, it's me // At teatime, everybody agrees // I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror // It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero)

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The level that I am worrying about Sangmin Dinneaw having a depressing ending just keeps rising. Come on. He refuses to tell Dinneaw what's going, wakes up with a headache that he has a specific (non-migraine) medication for... come on. I hate that I even have to think this! Just give me my happy ending and walk away. Step away from the depressing ending you might have planned and just... let it be happy. Let them be happy. Don't do this to me, please.