#and i never want it to grow because like
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tfw you want personalised tips on how to start your transition but harrassment campaigns against trans people online has tailored the urge to never talk about your agab
#there is a small population of people who actually know#and i never want it to grow because like#the one (1) time i broke this rule i was constantly misgendered#and while it doesn't make me violently dysphoric or anything#i hate even the possibility. same with trigger lists#jacquet.txt
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filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^
#THIS TOOK ME FOREVER RAAHHHH#i had help from my mom with stuff like the parts of the traje de mestiza which is the outfit shes wearing#this trend looks so much fun and i wanted to join in.. im first gen canadian though so ive never been to the philippines and only#know thru stories of my parents growing up. im proud of my heritage but there are some things i didnt grow up with that#make me feel disconnected from my culture. so it was nice to talk to my mom abt it and ask for her help with this :3#the pleated tapis is meant to resemble her skirt.. i had no way of adding her stockings but i noticed the piano key design#so i used that for the saya. the bandana is meant to resemble her hairties and shes wearing bakya wooden slippers with embroidery#i kinda wanted to add the panuelo to resemble her tie as a finishing touch but i forgor ;w; just imagine it i guess#my mom really likes this. shes a little confused abt the blue hair and i had to explain her hair is like that but she thinks shes pretty#originally i wanted her holding the woven pamaypay and fanning herself because ITS HOT ITS 25 FUCKING DEGREES TODAY#but i couldnt get the pose right so i settled for this. i wanna draw her and brazilian miku high fiving ill do that tmrw#my art#myart#hatsune miku#miku worldwide#philippines#vocaloid#miku
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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OK correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like the main 'yin/yang' parallel with Atsushi and Akutagawa is not something like 'this one is bad but secretly has a good side and this one is good but secretly has a bad side'.
I feel like it's more about 'who they are at their core vs who they choose to be'.
At his core Akutagawa is kind and at his core Atsushi is not. But despite this Atsushi tries every day to make the kinder choices and I love him so much for it. He has to work so hard to be good.
He wants to be a bitch SO bad I know he does but he tries his best to help people and be nice (sometimes he fails but that's OK <3)
Atsushi doesn't always WANT to help people, a lot of the time he's selfish and scared, but he does help people anyway. He keeps helping people over and over again. There's still some selfish motivation to it, and his initial motivation for helping people was because the headmaster told him that's all he was worth, but overall he does care about the people he helps and it weighs on him if he fails to save them. And of course, as the series goes on he starts helping people more because he can rather than because he feels like he needs to.
In Akutagawa's case, he's still capable of being kind but his environment led him into being someone who chooses to hurt people. But he's always been a protector at heart. In the start he was bad compared to Atsushi because he was choosing to hurt people and keep the cycle of abuse going. Just like how Atsushi developed in why he saved people, Akutagawa starts to get redeemed when he chooses to not just act on his rage. Not only does he start to spare people, but he speaks more kindly to them (apologising to Higuchi and telling Kyouka he's proud of her). It all culminates into the moment he chooses to help Atsushi and sacrifice himself for him, going back to his core value of being a protector. Even when he's finally revived, he keeps this role in his new position as Aya's Knight.
I kind of see the streaks of white in Akutagawa and the streaks of black in Atsushi not as their 'hidden sides' but as their fundamental selfs. That's who they are at their core, and their main colours (black for Akutagawa and white for Atsushi) are how they're presented to everyone else and how they try to have people see them as.
#I'm just spitballing half of this but these are also my genuine thoughts on these two and their yin/yang parallels#I'll never get over Akutagawa being a protector at heart and getting that side of him buried with rage from growing up in the PM and-#-Dazai's old teachings#also Atsushi being selfish at his core is very important to me. He's not a typical 'kind hearted' shonen protagonist. He's kind not because#-that's how he’s always been but because that's how he chooses to be#I think that kind of character is even more admirable to me#it also fits well with Dazai being his mentor. Since Dazai also doesn't have that initial desire to save people just out of kindness.#He saves people as a promise to his dead friend that wanted him to live a good life#in fact that actually fits with Jouno too#now that I think about it quite a few bsd characters fit into that 'not kind because they were born that way but because they chose to be'-#-archetype#hell yeah. That's kinda cool I like that#bsd analysis#Akutagawa#atsushi#akutagawa ryuunosuke#atsushi nakajima#sskk#shin soukoku#<- Not a ship post but adding this tag since I consider that their duo name too#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bungobble my post
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baby👶 drawings. these are very dear to me rn.. 2nd pic is my Nelavis with @barvin0k's Varonur 🩵 last one is a baby bosmer and snow elf, hairiest of them all. although the bosmer was meant to be my girl Barletta too lols
#tes#skyrim#my art#oc#nelavis#barletta#😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔 babies are so sweetum ugh my heart is crumbling rn#referenced some anne g*ddes stuff for dis#i call them snow elves instead of falmer like g*lebor would want me to#i never really get to talk about my elf anatomies at length cus i'm lazy but i sprinkled some info in the first pic#altmer society is EugenicsLand so you could only tell if your child has 'good' traits when they hit puberty#ex. height and shoulder width is something very important to them#if you don't have those traits ur pretty much a failure#other elves have it easier 🤓#idk i still might make some kinda infographic for the way i picture them but umm maybe not who knows#on snow elves and bosmer the fur is still 'confused' when they're in baby stage and is pretty much everywhere#it evens out w/ age and stays on the back; neck; sides of face the most and in places where human body hair wud be#idk ummm..and i think all elves grow their nails out unless they're very intertwined with humans in their life#ex. my snelf elisif; she has her nails trimmed to be regarded as more human i guess#nails are most important to altmer tho and might be a status symbol of some kind... they like using them in combat too#it's shameful for an altmer to not have long nails for any reason but there can be exceptions#like my el*nwen that can't physically grow nails out because of burn injury#so she has fake ones on her combat gloves#it's cute#elf nails aren't as frail as human nails and are more like an animals claws (corny) but bosmers' are the sturdiest#and their nails are curved in shape. for U know. Climbing and stuff#cause dunmer and altmer etc. have straight nails. they can hit the nail salon
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do any other artists feel like. yeah you're a 'good artist' because you draw things that look nice, but like. TECHNICALLY? you're really not great
i really hate that i can recognise that yes, my art is good, but is it VARIED? is it dynamic?? is my anatomy good? is it full of texture and colour theory? do i know how to do This? can i do That? no, not really. and that's quite painful actually
#ramble#yes this is the artist's perspective bs and yes this is anxiety because it's 1am#and yes i'm forever learning and growing but also#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.#drawing my little guys is fun but i am not good enough for the industry right now and that fucking sucks#i really feel like if i walked into a studio with my portfolio right now they would laugh at me#one of those days where i wish i'd done a more useful degree y'know#i'm going back through the phase where i don't know what i'm going to be anymore and it's scary#some days i really want to give it up and never draw again and do something worthwhile because i Know my life would be easier#and i hate that something i love so much makes me feel so hopeless#signs that i should go to bed ^^^^#i will resume my pity party tomorrow
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What if- what if Wind’s trauma doesn’t register with him until he’s older. What if as a teenager he thinks he’s super cool for going on adventures and fighting and stuff but then the trauma slams into him when he’s older. One day he’ll realise just how fucked up his life was and all the things he disregarded or made a joke about before come back to haunt him. What if…
#squeezing and shaking the blorbo#he may be more mature than some people give him credit for#but he’s still a kid with at least SOME level of innocence#and naivety#like he’ll be like haha I was 12 when I stabbed a big bad man#and then later he’ll realise#‘I was only 12’#‘they made me save their world from impending doom at 12 years old’#all he wanted was his sister safe and sound#yet inevitable events lead him to have to shoulder the world as only a young boy#like fucking hell#he’ll have no one to relate to because when he grows up he won’t have the chain… will he?#he won’t have the others to reassure him that everything will get better and that one day he’ll find peace in his life#because everyone will be gone#and he was too young to understand why they were so careful to make sure he was okay while in each other’s company#the only people to ever understand him are forever gone. Never to be seen again#were they even there to begin with?#in his childhood?#in those sensitive years of his life?#linked universe#linkeduniverse#lu wind#lu chain#wind linked universe
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Will never get over how Starscream and Skyfire's relationship is always doomed. There's never an iteration of them where they both stay on the same side at the end. They always end up being against each other, tearing each other apart (whether intentionally or not). They always end up losing each other, be it by a snowstorm, by the war, or by death itself. They never receive a happy ending together, one if not both of them is doomed to suffer.
Skyfire is doomed to be an Autobot, by forces out of his control. Starscream is doomed to be an Decepticon, by his own self destructive tendencies. They are both doomed, because of who they are. They always try to save the other, in their own way. But it never works. They are doomed to fail, whether they stay together or not.
#Starscream and skyfire are parallels of optimus and Megatron. do you understand me.#believing in someone when no one else did. seeing something worth supporting when no one else did. being the one person they trust.#they both ended up being torn apart by the war and their own ideals. losing each other because of their conflicting views.#one became an autobot and the other became a decepticon. one of them must fall.#i have lots of feelings about them yknow.#doomed yaoi shit going on here#will never get over how much g1 starscream cared about skyfire. like. he kept trying to have skyfire stay by his side#he was still a shitty guy and treated skyfire like shit but there was genuine care and emotion under it all. he still cared#i need a universe where they get to reconcile. where they get to be happy. pull an earthspark and let them be friends again#i need a skyfire who learns to love and accept post-war Starscream. i need a Starscream who despite everything still want skyfire with him.#i need them not to be doomed but rather learn and grow. accept the flaws and faults of the past and learn to move on#can you tell i love skystar#can you tell i love them#skyfire#jetfire#starscream#transformers#transformers g1#g1 transformers#the fire burns#skystar
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pushing daisies kaishin au #2
pushing daisies au where shinichi has been able to revive dead animals, plants, even people since he was a child.
kudou "i can literally talk to the dead" shinichi
shinichi's parents didn’t exactly encouraged him to use this power. especially not in public. they’ve seen him revive and re-kill dead plants and animals in the same breath, it doesn’t take a detective to figure out what could happen near a human corpse.
but a young shinichi is curious, a young shinichi admired his father, and a young shinichi wanted to prove himself a detective. but most of all, a young shinichi wanted to help.
so when he saw his father struggle in solving a particular case, a young shinichi figured that maybe asking straight from the source would help give them a hint.
the complete horror in yusaku's eyes shinichi saw that day made him promise himself to never do it again.
shinichi realizes later on that reviving someone just for a clue on the whos, hows, and whys of their death only to touch them again, to basically kill them again, is sick and twisted and the realization leaves him feeling raw and dirty.
he then decides that if he’s gonna find out the truth, if he’s gonna bring justice, it’s not by making the victims suffer a second death. he will unravel the mystery not by magic but by logic.
the curious case of kuroba kaito
hakuba immediately contacts shinichi.
“he was...a friend. if i have to gather all the best detectives to catch his murderer then so be it.”
hakuba goes on to explain.
it was a kid heist. shots were fired. snipers. kaitou kid was caught on camera falling, as if he’d been shot, but he appears a minute later flying away on his glider with not a speck of blood on his suit. all should be well however, a few buildings away in an alleyway, the body of kuroba kaito is found dead. gunshots through the heart and chest.
a simple explanation would’ve been that the glider was a fake activated by kid’s assistant as a last ditch effort to save his legacy and this kuroba kaito was kaitou kid himself. he would’ve said it out loud but by the look on hakuba’s face, he can tell that he already connected those dots long before shinichi even stepped foot in the morgue. that wasn’t what hakuba called him for.
“can i...take a look at the body alone?”
hakuba raises an eye at him but moves to leave without questioning. "alright then. i have to check on another friend anyway. she's been...distraught ever since she heard the news and..." hakuba's words trail away as his eyes unconsciously drifted towards kuroba kaito's covered body. shinichi patiently waits through the quiet pain that he sees on hakuba. the pinch in his brows, the tenseness of his body. he must've been a really good friend.
hakuba shakes his head and turns his attention back to shinichi. "sorry, i...its been a long day. i'll leave you here then. call me if you find anything."
left alone, shinichi carefully zips open the body bag covering kaitou kid's upper body. he looked eerily similar to himself and imagining his own body cold and dead in the morgue sent a shiver down his spine. shaking his head, he pulls a chair close and reads through the file hakuba brought him.
"no witnesses. no camera. not a trace nor lead to anything. just some reports on mysterious gunshots in previous heists that lead to nowhere." they were professionals, whoever did this, shinichi thought. it was not going to be an easy case.
he takes another peek at the body. so this was kaitou kid, huh. too young to be the same as the one before his hiatus. perhaps a successor? motive could be related to his predecessor. his mother hasn't said anything of interest. does she really not know or is she protecting him? he runs his hand through his hair. there's too little information to go on...unless...
temptation rears its head. the source of information is right there in front of him. one touch and it could open up new leads to the case. an immediate disgust twists deep into his gut. he promised himself to never use it on people. to never kill. his father's haunted eyes embedded in his mind. he shouldn't. he really shouldn't. but he remembers the anguished look on hakuba's face. if he was going to do it, this might be the only good time. any longer and his touch would not revive kid. and gone along with him would be vital information to catch his murderer.
shinichi heaves a deep sigh. he has never used his abilities on dead people since that one incident as a child but he couldn't shake off the look on hakuba's face. it was now or never. shinichi reaches for kid's hand.
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pushing daisies au #1
#kaishin#detective conan#dcmk#dc prattles#shinichi: don't panic#kaito: *remembers what happened* WHAT THE FUCK#lol#also in this au the someone dies after a minute if he doesn't touch the dead person a second time again rule applies#shinichi has never discovered this fact growing up because he never really truly tried to explore this ability#perhaps he himself is freaked out by it and ever since the day he saw fear and the haunted look in yusaku's eyes#he never wanted to revisit it ever again#shinichi would probably connect the dots a little later but#the commotion of someone just dropping dead out of nowhere outside the morgue would be what he & kaito would use as a distraction to escape#shinichi was supposedly only going to ask a few questions and touch kaito again but ofc kaito would attempt to escape immediately#anyway something something pandora revives kaito back permanently so he and shinichi can kiss and make out the end#LMAOOOOO#thank you pandora for being a convenient deus ex machina mwah now kaishin can have plenty a sexy times :>#if you saw me accidentally posting this earlier no you didnt#also i never intended for this to be long or written like this#it was supposed to be a bulletpoint list of hcs but it got out of hand unfortunately LOL#finally out of the drafts after almost 2 years im so sorry this au lmao#there's one last pushing daisies kaishin au in the drafts yippee :D
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btw. if you even care
#bob being affectionate w/ his kids is always soo sweet because you know that big bob wasn't showing him any of that affection growing up#and society never taught men to be affectionate with their kids in that way so everything he does is so Intentional#he thinks like. ohh i should give gene a hug bcuz he's feeling sad right now!!#i should give louise a kiss Bcuz i love her#he has to like. actually Think about these things they aren't natural to him but imo that makes them so much sweeter#he cares soo much he wants to be a good dad for his kids and show them the affection that he never got#txt#bob's burgers
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sam is like his father. was innocent to the reality of what was going on until something bad happened and he was forced to become a monster he shouldn’t have been, all for the greater good.
dean is like his mother. cursed with the knowledge of their reality, forced to grow up in it and ready to do anything to save their counterpart from anything that tries to kill them, even at the expense of the greater good.
#season 4 episode 3 i am going insane#she struck the deal for john??? are you serious???#whats the literary word for this. opposite of foils#a mirror#i love analysing everything i watch like the english lit freak i shouldve been#this show is driving me crazy. i’m gonna go nuts. SO MUCH DRAMATIC IRONY IN THIS DAMN EPISODE#tragic that mary never wanted them to grow up the way she did and yet they had to.#supernatural#spn#spn season 4#sam winchester#dean winchester#mary winchester#john winchester#i should make a tag for how much i talk about spn. because its a lot#sam yaps about spn
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Season 2 Jayce with season 1 Viktor this, beard Jayce with young Viktor that….fools, all of you. I raise you, season 2 arc 2 Viktor and season 1 Jayce.
#like…not putting Viktor in his whole machine herald get up not because this would not work on season 1 Jayce. it would. we all know it would#I just have a terrible weakness for Jesus viktor with his grape blu hextech body and the blanket as a tunic#what a look I mean#but yeah. young enthusiastic dreamer Jayce that just wants to bring magic back into the world Mets very much magical and balayage hair Vik?#Viktor is eating him for breakfast. he is having a tea (science) party in the cosmos everyday with this young fascinated Jayce#he is explaining the wonders of the universe non stop until Jayce has a nerd meltdown and just catapult himself into Viktor’s arms#Jayce being like a yappy chihuahua to whoever doesn’t notice Viktor is the best thing ever#(he is inoffensive but very annoying and loud about it)#and getting very angry about it ‘he killed people jayce!’ ‘he did not! he just make himself their life support! because he is so supportive!#Viktor is just like spiraling at top speed but without actually moving bc season 1 Jayce has so many questions and he has to answer them all#so logically the world has to wait for Viktor to fix it bc first he has to explain to Jayce how it works#season 1 Jayce accidentally saving the world bc of the joy of discovery! viktor slowly being like wait…I ain’t dying anymore no need to rush#and being like let’s learn everything about a butterfly and then try and recreate it with magic or sth#and then they try some other things and Viktor realizing slowly (by the time they have a hextech zoo or sth) that his way#does not truly bring life or evolves for life but stagnates it. the beings cannot adapt cannot grow cannot change and thus are not alive#and Jayce being all ‘oh no what about you?’ and ‘I will love you forever’ and ?you are so intelligent pls devour me carnally’ idk#the way the stumble into the joy of a fix it bc they are too busy nerding out - also Viktor realizing Jayce still has human needs and all#and realizing those allowances are not weakness - this is a reach he would never do that but oh well this is also fanfic.#ANYWAY. season 2 Viktor season 1 Jayce! hear me out!!#jayvik#arcane#jayce talis#viktor arcane
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Originally, Bruce and Dick slept in the same bed.
I like to twist this around: Bruce, being a young parent, was VERY protective and worried about his boy who wants to go fight criminals with him, and it translated into him refusing to let Dick leave his side after difficult nights. Dick is hurt? He is sleeping in Bruce's bed. Dick isn't hurt but it was a close call? He is sleeping in Bruce's bed. Bruce just got scared but Dick was fine? He is sleeping in Bruce's bed. Dick is scared? He is sleeping in Bruce's bed. Of course, this led to Dick also refusing to leave Bruce's side when Bruce gets hurt or could have been hurt, so he also sleeps in Bruce's bed on these nights. And, as he grew up in a circus, always moving around, he is used to sleeping in his parents' arms or very close by, so it's normal for him.
So, Dick is often sleeping in Bruce's bed, cuddled up to Bruce. And as he grows up, he sleeps less and less in Bruce's arms, and he supports less and less Bruce's suffocating anxiety. Finally, he stops completely.
Some events make him wants to crawl back in his dad's bed (his multiple SA, the destruction of Bludhaven, the multiple times he thought Bruce died, etc...), but he never dares to. He is an adult now, and he fears Bruce would have a problem with it. Bruce is also not that welcoming toward physical affection since Jason's death (something Cass fixes, but that's another story). So, Dick doesn’t, even when he craves to.
Until Bruce is send back in time and believed dead. When he comes back, Dick just cannot stop himself, he needs to hold his dad, and he is so afraid Bruce will dissappear if he isn't touching him. He is holding him all evening long, and when it's time for bed, Bruce wordlessly goes to sleep holding Dick with one arm, the other around Tim. (Damian isn't close enough to Bruce yet to dare come sleep with them, Cass is in Hong-Kong, but she is jumping on a plane and will join the sleep-cuddle pile, Jason isn't back in the batfam yet but the possibility of losing Bruce scared him so bad, he is going to start to make efforts to not be on bad terms with them)
#bruce wayne#batman#dick grayson#robin#nightwing#batfam#dc comics#my ramblings#Jason also needed to sleep with Bruce anytime Bruce got hurt because it reminded him of his mom#and he was scared Bruce would die if he looked away#but Bruce had calmed down after his fight with Dick and wasn't making Jason sleep with him anytime he got scared#Bruce is a good dad but that doesn't mean he is perfect he is flawed#and I believed his fight with Dick is inevitable and important for both their character development#anyway about Cass she is very touch starve in Batgirl and JUST WANT A HUG FROM HER DAD like all her life she just wanted to be hugged#but only ever got training and violence growing up#so the moment Bruce shows her he will give her affection and hugs? she is hugging that man so much#and because she reads people so easily she knows he loves it and never hesitates to just jump on him for a hug#Let's go back to Jason he has a breakdown after battle for the cowl because he realizes his dad is GONE#when he sees Bruce again he is ugly crying behind the hood and he punches him to see if he's real#then he runs away because he isn’t ready to face his feelings#okay I need to stop talking about my batman canon#Dick as a kid: *scraps his knee* Bruce: *refusing to let go of him* What if it gets infected and HE DIES?!
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Pop quiz, hotshots! Which would you rather have:
A relationship that, when it goes wrong, you can tell the other person that you need a break to reassess your relationship, and they will discuss this calmly, let you go, and then go away and think about what you said, agree that they were in the wrong, and start working on ways to fix their own behaviour;
OR
A relationship that, when you want to leave, they tell you that you don't really want to go, that you're happier with them, that you should isolate yourself from your family and friends so you can stay with them - and when you disagree and tell them the relationship is just a matter of necessity, they start in on your other relationship (which they have apparently decided is the reason you're going back, despite you making no mention of it), telling you that it's broken, that you shouldn't go back to him - and when you tell them to butt out of your personal business, they tell you they're entitled to have an opinion because you've been stranded alone together for a long time...
Is that or is that not what happened? Because I remember Lila making herself pretty clear on these points, but apparently a bunch of people think we should disregard a woman's expressed opinion about her own life, and go with what she's being told. Because Five knows best, amirite? Gosh he's so smart and clever! And he deserves this - he deserves Lila, no matter what Lila herself says. He's owed it by the universe, because he had a bad life.
Lila did have another relationship like that, where she was told what to do, kept in the dark, told that the other person knew what was best for her...and it wasn't Diego.
#lila pitts#diego hargreeves#tua#tua s4#tua s4 spoilers#the umbrella academy#I don't mind them portraying unhealthy relationships#but I am 100% serious when I say you shouldn't romanticise that shit#just because you think Five is dreamy#sure Diego has his flaws#but he and Lila had an adult relationship where they both made choices#and they consistently take on board what the other one says#whereas apparently Five and Lila never once had a conversation about where this was(n't) heading#because they were at total odds when it finally came down to a decision#never mind Diego - did Five actually think she was going to forget about her kids just to stay there with him?!#the arrogance! he was acting like a 20yo in his first real relationship#and Lila was acting like a woman making the best of a bad situation#wanting to end it as soon as she was able - literally she got up and walked away the second she found out#it's not about 'cheating' or whatevs#(all of tua fandom needs to grow up about that one)#it's about Five being a toxic little shit#enough red flags to run a circus#pepper gets salty
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every time someone in a discussion about breeding for BOAS reduction in pugs says to 'look up this program called Retromops' i slip a little arsenic into the produce section at the grocery store
#the chances of getting one of them are slim#but grow a little every time 🙏#listen: we all know about retromops.#and because everyone knows about retromops and they went viral a decade ago its now being slapped on every puggish mix with a nozzle#regardless of overall health or ethics in breeding which#is one of the great challenges independent breeding programmes face.#second: independent programs like retromops are irrelevant to the general health of a breed because most of the time#the dogs in question are neither elgible for stud book registration or#are trusted or accepted by the breed community at large#so you can drool over them as much as you want and while we can hope the individual dogs are bred to a good ethical standard#it wont help pugs as a breed because those dogs will never reenter the gene pool.#which is frankly my worry re: the new skk guideline illustrations as well. you actually need both judges to judge by them -#and breeders to breed by them and so far#breed communities have NOT received it well.#i HOPE its just a bump in the road and it will end up having positive effects! but right now there are other things im#more optimistic about. such as entering the first generations of fully BOAS graded breeding stock
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do you think émilie agreste knew, on the day she became too weak to leave that house, that she never would again
#having a normal one. don’t worry about it#just thinking about how she never escaped even in death etc etc#do you think she knew even as she pleaded with gabriel to give up on her that he never would.#that no one truly loved her enough to heed her warnings#that adrien was going to be left alone#what must it have been like for her to grow slower and weaker and quieter until she was as still as the bed d#do you think she knew she was becoming another fixture of that house#beautiful and immovable and silent#how long did gabriel have that coffin ready in the basement. how much time did he spend building it. did nathalie help.#did emilie know where they went in those long hours she laid there dying? that they intended to keep her there -always dying and never dead?#is that why she left videos? because she knew they’d build an altar for her haunting and she had to give her ghost a voice?#i think often about gabriel saying that emilie never wanted what she deserved#i think about gabriel and nathalie not letting her die. i think about ladybug not letting chat noir die.#circles and cycles ending up right back where you started#you know. having a normal one#anna rambles#emilie agreste#thirteen
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