#and i never got any calls back
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Wow it sure is fun having covid a second time. Good thing covid is over tho and I can just go to work tomorrow *screams*
#like#i only tested positive yesterday#and theres a possibility of me losing my job#if i dont go#and i really cant afford to lose my job alcuz as we all know even when you apply to jobs they wont always call you back right away if at all#and i had been looking up til last month#and i never got any calls back#so like#fml ig#im so tired and in pain#im gpnna be as petty ad possible tomorrow vuz im just so doneeeee#rant#personal#hisao
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my attempt at making a fursona
#i never see any mole furries so i thought id try my hand at it ^_^#i was hungry making this and was thinking of dirt cup pudding so its partly inspired by that and mario grass blocks#i dont draw furries very often so this was a fun learning experience lol. also!! star nose moles are kinda cute!!!!#when i was coming up with a name my mind kept going back to that tiktok of dogs and the tts voice saying stuff like i like mulch#mulch is my favorite food! yippee mulch!! so if youre wondering where i got the name theres the lore for it#i also wanna make a sea otter fursona.. and perhaps a snowshoe hare or other winter animal. oh or a barn owl!!#im trying to free my mind when it comes to making multiple sonas bc im still trying to wrap my head around it#ive always kinda seen myself as my persona but i want to try and be silly with it. actually while i was making this i was a little doubtful#to call it my fursona bc it doesnt look like me but a little voice inside my head was like well. youre not a 5 foot tall talking mole eithe#so you might as well. and i was thinking abt ppl with their dragon wolves with wings and i was like wow.. youre right... i can do what i#want forever. and brother that shit was enlightening it was like my third eye opened when i realized that#my art#myart#my oc#oc#fursona#mulch#furry art#sfw furry#character design#oc ref sheet#reference sheet
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codtwt is going off on brainwashed!soap bc of his new warzone skin and itās making me think of ghost deliberately getting himself captured by makarov bc he knows heāll be given to his dog to try and break him; knows he wonāt be able to resist the irony, the cruelty of being tortured by the teammate he lost
he doesnāt fight; welcomes the chains around his wrists and ankles, welcomes the hands stripping him of his weapons and gear until he's defenceless
he wouldn't use them anyway
when he stalks into the room, the muzzle, the scars, not even the blank hatred or lack of recognition could make him mistake his eyes
that's his johnny
he doesn't flinch as he digs knives into his skin; would never shy away from his kiss even if it's tinged with rusted steel. doesn't swallow his screams; not when he always loved hearing him, when he spent so long coaxing his voice from the grave
frustration joins the anger in johnny's eyes the longer he goes without giving up information
just jokes; dark and puns alike
just advice when he can't get the jumper cables to spark right
ghost's not trying to escape; not trying to barter his return to the 141
he's right where he wants to be
#ghost letting him be tortured indefinitely if it means being with johnny i am going to eat glass#he doesnt even care if he never gets him back. if the brainwashing is permanent#he still treats him the same. gives him openings to meet a punchline or rib him for something#no matter how long he goes without responding. without giving him any hope of becoming the man he knew#if pain is all heāll ever get from johnny again heāll welcome it gratefully with open arms#he got his share of kindness. more than he ever thought he deserved. if pain has to balance it out then so be it#so long as johnny is the one giving it to him#meanwhile soap gets more and more frustrated that he cant break this soldier#that when he becomes more inventive he just meets him with a story about people he doest know but acts like he should#that every day when his master calls him away he leaves with a soft - /loving/ - see you tomorrow johnny echoing in his ears#he doesnt understand#and it just makes him more vicious#but the soldier doesnt care#he still smiles in the face of pain#still calls him johnny#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#weāre a team. ghost team#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#soap cod#john soap mactavish#ghost x soap#save post
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The basegame wedding dress has a pregnancy morph??
#I can never be positive if something in my game is like. a third-party launcher addition#but this is so funny and I had such a strong hunch#because rushing to have your Sim get married before they give birth is such a thing so many players would do!!#and it would be so funny to pay attention to that detail by having the wedding dress show the bump!!!!#all your sim's wedding photos very obviously giving away the reason for the rushed date HAHA#the dress with the pendant at the back that everyone default replaces off (the one with the knife texture) also has a preg morph#which I know because it's the one your Sims get forced into if they attend a wedding#but it's kind of unusual because pregnant Sims don't have the opportunity to change into formal wear?#like pregnant Sims get new undies pyjamas and swimwear in addition to their maternity outfit#and if you direct a pregnant Sim to change into one of them then it changes them into the appropriate maternity fit instead of their usual#but you can't direct them to change into formal and if you use a hacked option like the shop any-wear rack it uses their usual non morph fi#so it has to be something external like a wedding that triggers them to change into formal. and I have no idea why#does this mean there's a BG suit with a preg morph for men??#or did maxis not think that pregnant male Sims would be quite so desperate to get married#anyway I'm probably the last person to know about this LMAO and I'm sure no one cares bc everyone uses wear-anything mods#but I'm a scrub who still prefers to use the default maternity meshes so this is yuge to me#also if you've never seen this dress b4: in the early game all Sims getting married under an arch used to be forced into the same outfits#actually I can't remember if the men got forced into the same suit or if they just used their regular formal#because most BG formal outfits for men were mostly wedding-appropriate#but at any rate. all women wore the same wedding dress. and it was this .... beauty#and I don't remember with which EP it changed but probably pretty early on they just let Sims use their regular formal wear for weddings#so you could pick their wedding dress yourself#but this dress remained hidden by default (I think?) so ironically it meant you COULDN'T use the wedding dress even if you wanted to#also this is completely off topic but you would also go away for your honeymoon#which meant the Sims getting married would literally get driven away in a limousine and stay off-world for a while#it was kind of cute because it really was like they took a vacation from the player too. got up to their own mischief away from your contro#then with bon voyage they introduced ACTUAL vacations and they turned honeymoons into an actual game mechanic#but again these offworld honeymoons are no longer a possibility#kind of like teens 'going out' with permission got replaced by going out on actual outings/dates even though it was a cute event#wow this note section is long and irrelevant. anyway enjoy picking up your wedding dress from a store called 'It's Not Too Late'
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Bernie Sanders finally made a statement, on Nov. 4, calling for a "pause" in the bombing. People in the replies are saying "better late than never!" and I don't even know where to start.
The genocide has been going on for almost a month. Over 9,000 men, women, and children have been murdered. Thousands more have been wounded. Members of press and healthcare and their families have been deliberately targeted and assassinated. Israel has been murdering civilians en masse with impunity for weeks, both lying about it and blatantly admitting to it. 100+ Palestinians have been murdered in the West Bank due to settler terrorism backed by the Israeli army.
In an interview, Dr. Ofer Cassif, the Knesset member who was suspended for calling for an end to Israeli violence against Palestinians, revealed that he'd reached out to Bernie months prior to Oct. 7th because of the pogroms being carried out by Israelis against Palestinians which he said would result with an "explosion [of violence]", but received no response.
what the fuck do you mean "better late than never". what the fuck do you mean? the genocide is still ongoing, and, just like Blinken, Biden, and every complicit ghoul, he's calling for a pause. not a ceasefire. a ceasefire is just the start of what needs to happen. but he hasn't even called for that.
"better late than never" what gives you the fucking right to say that? tell that to the 10,000 people who the U.S. and its allies allowed Israel to murder. tell that to the thousands of wounded. tell that to the thousands who have been displaced. tell that to the people of Gaza who have been without food, water, and fuel for WEEKS. tell that to the Palestinians in the West Bank who are being murdered at the hands of settler terrorists. tell that to the Palestinians who were abducted and tortured and released with blue bands around their ankles. tell that to the Palestinians in occupied Palestine who can't reach their families and friends. tell that to Palestinians in diaspora who have seen their families, their friends, their people slaughtered with the full backing and support of the vast majority of western governments and media.
"better late than never" no, it's not good enough. IT'S NOT. there are SO many people around the world - both citizens and members of government - who recognized the injustice for what it was the DAY the bombing started. we owe the Palestinian people so much more than that. "better late than never" the ONLY thing that could POSSIBLY begin to even "make up" for the horrors and injustices inflicted upon the Palestinian people for almost a century is to end the genocide, end the occupation, end the apartheid, end settler colonialism, and dismantle the colonial state. Palestinians deserve NO LESS than total emancipation. Complete liberation. until then, it is not and will never be enough.
#sorry for spiel i just. got so mad. 'better late than never' DO YOU SEE ANY PALESTINIANS SAYING THAT? I WONDER WHY!#also the idea that we can just 'forgive and forget' if a ceasefire is called is insane and out of the question.#there is NO going back to 'business as usual'. we CANNOT and should not expect things to 'how they were before'.#god. i just. USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also this is not like a total endorsement of cassif idk much about him im adding him in as a means to point to bernie's complicity#as far as im concerned bernie is just as complicit as everyone else.#if you are a bernie fan do NOT @ me i am NOT going to debate on this.#im sure hes not all evil nto all bad but it doesnt MATTER. he is COMPLICIT and that will not change. not for the rest of his LIFE.#people like tlaib and c. bush knew what was what within the first days of the bombing. theres no fucking excuse for his inaction!#AND I SAY ALL OF THIS AS SOMEONE WHO LIKED BERNIE.#š.zip
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Me looking at vol 1: How can I make this more tragic than it already is
This is actually part 1 but idk if I wanna ruin my life again trying to draw pt 2 I was chipping away at this for like a week. So maybe in the distant future
#the mandela catalogue#cesar torres#mark heathcliff#mandela catalogue fanart#tmc#tmc fanart#Making up lore for them because they literally have no lore#Like their only screentime is like a 1 min monotone phone call#Technically Cesar never got any screentime it was his alternate lmfao#So basically Im lowkey glad theyre not coming back so they cant destroy my headcanons#i love being delusional
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a MCU/Percy Jackson crossover with Bucky Barnes as a demigod. Ik your already thinking, he's a soldier so Ares obviously but he's actually a child of Aphrodite. Reasoning: before the war and when he's healed he is dressed very well. He wasn't really into war. he's never really fighting for the fight, he's fighting for someone or because he has to. He was forced to be a soldier in both instances (drafted/brainwashed). Mcu Bucky doesn't give off Ares kid vibes. So Aphrodite kid.
#plus theirs this version of Aphrodite called Aphrodite Areia which is a war like Aphrodite and the idea of this Aphrodite kid#forcibly going from š„°šš to š¹āļøš. b#bucky barnes#marvel mcu#marvel cinimatic universe#now comic bucky is an ares kid he was rasied by the military LITTERLY that was kinda fed up but thats old comics for you#the winter soldier#i think he should be pissed about hydras logo not being a fukning hydra! thats an octopusš#hydras have multiple HEADS that grow back when they get cus off š#mcu headcanons#marvel#mcu bucky barnes#captain america#steve rogers#the avengers#captain america the winter soldier#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo#also any of the aus with the Avengers being a demigods are so funny like imagine going from the battle of Manhattan in like 09 then less#then five years later 2012 the battle of ny happens!#Demigod Avenger: YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHERE THE HELL IM FIGHTING THESE ALIENS!!!!!#Demigod: no idea#Demigod Avenger: BACK IN NEW FUCKING YORK!!!!! THIS GODS FORSAKEN CITY CANT CATCH A BRAKE!!!!#Demigod: ššš but really do you need help?#Demigod Avenger: no im good. got my ambrosia and nector. its just trippy to not be fighting with you all this time.#Demigod: ok. call if you need us and we'll be there#Demigod Avenger: š„°āš„°#fanfic aus#alternate universe
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HE DEADASS CONFESSED BRO
#and laios swearing he will come back and share a meal with him at a restaurant together stfuš#i had this lowkey spoiled but only mentioned in memes#fr this was so INTENSE kabru didn't let go of laios' arm any moment he was so scared of losing him???#his tsundere ass got so embarrased when laios exposed him he had to punch him lmao#while laios didn't understand how someone could go so far for his friendship like every friendship he has had have ended in rejection+#(except marcille chillchuck and senshi but they'r more like family at this point)(love when kabru called laios' party his family as whole)#so kabru coming so openly in saying he would love to learn more about him and be by his side hits all the right spots#kabru is finally invited to the family mealss so cute#the classic āi promise i will come backā -> āyou'd better keep your promise. i will waitā OKAY HI WHAT R WE DOING#i better see them eating and sharing meals together and hanging out together and laughing and#dungeon meshi#reading#giving a second though it's understandable u could at first say wow kabru so down bad for laios he did all of that for one man#but in a simplified way we could say the same for laios and marcille as well. they have endured a lot for falin#but it's smth greater than that. it's the seek of knowledge too. laios for monsters biology. marcille for magic and kabru for people+#(el chisme i mean. humanism. kabru would def be an anthropologist or politician)#in the dungeon they found smth they could never have achieved in the surface#strong desires
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Undertale yellow flowey embroidery
This took about 40 hours, give or take a few
#I can tell you one thing#Embroidering while having arthritis is really not a piece of cake. When you hand cramps just by holding it at an angle.#At least I can be grateful for my empty schedule#Makes embroidering till the sun rises back up so much easier#Insomnia also helps with this task#I was listening to the ost while working on it andā¦ Live reaction#Occupied turf is so good actually !? Why wasnāt it shown more often !? ITāS FIRE !?#I forgot I only did a pacifist so I got so confused when neutral Flowey came outā¦#A motherās love ? Shouldāve called this āIām gonna fuck you upā#The number of time I got my ass handed back to me in this fight is not even funny#The first time is great. The second I only discern my favorites and the sudden change in style. By the third loop I canāt recognize shit#my brain is melting and my eyes are on fireā¦#Advantages on doing it during daytime. Eyes hurt less. Good stupid tv to listen to in the background Disadvantages. People#Advantages on doing it at night. Alone. Personally work better at night#Disadvantages. No good TV. Time goes by slowerā¦? I donāt know maybe Iām just loosing it with those freaking petals#For reference one petal took me about 3 and a half hours. So yeahā¦ I thought it would never endā¦ Took out almost all my yellow.#When the line tangles itself in the back and you realize only close to the end of it that half went missing#So you have to go backward to entangle it and loose 30 mins because damn it#Cats are not helpful in any of those scenarios#Why do I feel the need to make the back perfect when nobody else but me will know#This is the last time I do one so big without thinking it through#Note to self. Donāt do it standing up when the cats are awake. She just destroyed my stomach#I think iām losing it#Back after a few weeks#God this white thread is doing my head inā¦ Iām willing to bet my leg half the time I spent on the face was me untangling it.#Iām almost done. Itās finally over. Dark brown took exactly 4 h and 13 mins#undertale#undertale yellow#embroidery#Iām thinking of doing Boris the wolf next. Because I just found the perfect rendition to put on my wall
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it is a lie.
there is the promise, of course, every single time. that this time it will help, this time you'll be able to quit for good after just - once - more -
and then you look up and realise it's 1am and your hands are covered with blood. you've used up all the tissues and it's still bleeding. of course you grab something and stanch it, it's not going to kill you, but it's sure as hell going to make living unfun.
it's a lie. you can be clinical about it - you can measure depth and size and analyse if this needs medical attention or not. and then once you're absolutely sure it could do with it (curse the moment you figured out the technique that allows you to go deeper), you can ignore it and pretend it's fine.
it's not fine, of course. but even now, there's pain. of course there's pain. it's gaping, you idiot, and if you went to the emergency department they'd suture it just like they would have the previous one you ignored that got infected, but improved before you absolutely had to seek medical attention. they are not going to heal quickly; they're going to look pretty bad even if they manage to heal before you've got to wear short sleeves for placement. never mind the fact that summer's coming on. search up summer cardigans and hope they're not too expensive.
but there's pain. why would you do it? why would you keep chasing the high you will not get from this? why are you still thinking, if I just go fully to the muscle layer now, this will fix everything? it won't. you fool. is it muscle pain you're feeling right now, or nerve? how would you know?
cry about it, you bitch. you did it to yourself. you know, what you really want is someone to hug you real good, someone who knows what you've done and why you did it. but last time you showed someone it made you go deeper because what you showed them wasn't enough. you better hope they don't ask to see how that one's healing, because you can't show them the healing process without showing this newest one they don't know you've got. they said they weren't happy with you keeping the implement you used last time. you said it was a once-off, a mad impulse born of a specific, high stress trigger. you might even have believed it.
why would you do it? why are you going so deep, deep enough that after every action to make it deeper, you do all the basic checks to make sure you haven't permanently damaged something? don't mess around with this. your hands are your livelihood. if you hit a nerve, there ain't no coming back from that. you know what you're doing.
arms are dangerous. surely you knew that was almost the exact place someone you knew went, had to get fourteen stitches emergently because they hit something real bad. if you're tired, get sleep. if you're tired of life, get help. don't destroy yourself like this.
it is a lie. it will not make you feel better. it will simply add to your problems. why don't you care? the promise of relief is a lie. if you're sad about it, if you're crying, then do something. tell someone. reach out, and someone will reach back to you. they want to help. let them help. people want to love you; let them love you.
#EDIT i would like to add. if you know any irl friends of mine please DO NOT MENTION ANY OF THIS#i don't know why i wrote this in the second person it just sort of. appeared#tw sh#personal#puddleglum hours#i'm safe etc etc#do not call the cops on me#and yes. the moment when you do something and feel pain along the entire muscle#which i do not understand because it wasn't That deep. like i've never actually got muscle-deep#but i heeded the warning and Stopped but. brain is still going 'if you go Deeper it will Magically Feel Better'#(i am not in fact going to go deeper dw)#in lighter news. i am writing vaniah again. shall be back to tumblr presently#and also. there will at least at this point only be two (2) noticeable scars on my arm so far. i haven't gone ham#i am so tired i want a hug#sorry for this post i just. yeah
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Apparently my job incorrectly changed my state on my W4 without my knowledge or consent last year and now I owe a LOT of money in unpaid state taxes since they weren't withholding them from my paycheck like they were supposed to š
#i hadnt filed my 2023 taxes yet bc there was some stuff i had to figure out with my old college#(they didnt send me a 1098-t and they werent responding to my emails and they changed systems after i graduated#so i wasnt in their new systems and when i called the treasurers office they couldnt figure out how to find me#so they sent it to their manager but the manager never responded and etc etc)#but i wasnt too worried bc i knew with the withholdings that i put on my w4 that i should be receiving a refund#and theres no penalties to filing late if youre receiving a refund (you just. dont get your money until its filed)#but now ive got that figured out (turns out they actually didnt need to send me a 1098-t bc i dont have any exceptions to claim from them#bc something about how my expenses were handled? idk. which i didnt even learn from them btw. bc they never got back to me š#i had to consult a tax expert. but anyway)#so i was trying to finally file them. and uh. it turns out i owed like $1000 to my state. and i was like. that. cant be right. what?#checked my w2 and for some reason on one line it had my state listed with like a small portion of my earnings#and then on the next line there was the rest of my earnings under a different state name#a state that doesnt fucking have state taxes š so nothing was withheld from that portion of my income#so apparently i did NOT pay the majority of my state taxes last year. and now im 6 months late filing. and im worried im fucked#and we are also 11 MONTHS into 2024 with my w4 incorrect and no state taxes withheld all year š fuck. fuck fuck fuck#they cant even change it back until my manager proves i live in this state apparently š what the hell man#i live in this state i work in this state my companys fucking headquarters is in this state#WHY would they change it to a different fucking state. WITHOUT my knowledge or consent#i didnt even realize they had stopped withholding my state taxes until now bc it happened at the same time i got promoted#so the increase on my paycheck just blended in with my raise š#i just submitted it but of course theyre going to take what i owe for my state taxes weeks before they refund me for my federal taxes#payments process within 48 hours but refunds take up to 21 days#rambling#so. im gonna have to figure out how to make rent and bills next week#and then im ALSO gonna have to pay however much it costs to be 6 months behind on a payment of nearly $1000#FUCK
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thinking about the whole twt scam situation ā¢ again ough
#monolith mumbles#gonna rant for a min#like main situation sorted fine#then boom 27 yr old mutual of op comes crawling out the woodworks#i did ask a silly question which i apologized for twice and reiterated TWICE. and they then kept yapping and arguing š#like erm i think calling an autistic person braindead at ur big age is weird actually#''omfg are you braindead this is a common scam get it through your thick skulls'' first im a tumblr main. second it clearly isnt common#enough considering op got scammedš#and i still think im justified being put off that nobody (excluding op) noticed the glaring differences in the accounts š and how it was#up for 10+ hours with no one noticing š#along with that they tried to frame it like i thought op had it out for me then said i wasnt important enough for someone to target me#because my twt acc has like 300 followers which. clearly i was because the scammer used my artš#again twenty fucking seven. 27 DOING ALL THIS#after my final reply i ignored my twt main for like 2 days. which someone else replied saying something that started with#''all this happened because you'' then i just blocked them today before reading the rest. and just blocked everyone involved#like if ur mutual is 27 behaving like this i do nawt want to have any interaction with you at all soz. i also didn't get any priv apologies#instead they were pushing how they were innocent and not accusing anyone of being guilty which. its like you were a min ago#u were accusing MEš go d#me miffed about not getting priv apologies is me being petty but im 5'4 im never the bigger person so#I'll stay petty actually#anyway blocked all of them for my own piece hope op gets $60 back somehow but i also want 0 interaction based on their oomf
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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Back on my bullshitš«¶
A colored misc piece that I absolutely adore, Addair is just smitten lmao
#my teacher saw this and called Addair a charlie brown head#i will never recover#still wakes the deep addair#still wakes the deep#still wakes the deep fanart#addair x trots#still wakes the deep trots#swtd trots#swtd addair#swtd fanart#i love these two sm ive been brainrotted#got more stuff in the works btw#SWTD Addair/Trots#SWTD Addair x Trots#i suck ass at tagging idk#art#fanart#ship art#the OC is next yallš„°#if i see one person mention any of the wrongs in this photo i will hunt you down#i drew this the first week back to school to cope lol#Trots with bell bottoms save meš
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Cats
What's not to love about these lovely creatures? Honestly, growing up I was always a dog person (even despite the fact that I was attacked by one when I was young). But then I realized I wouldn't be able to take care of a dog for, well, a buncha reasons, thought about how it would be to have a cat, and thought, yeah, it would be nice to have one. For so many reasons. The eternally lethargic me could never take care of a dog properly. A cat, though? I probably could.
#the void asks back#I physically still can't bring myself not to freeze up or get away when a dog is nearby#despite the fact that I still love them#my first thought when one is nearby is always āwhat if it decides to attack me?ā#obviously the answer is that it won't but childhood trauma does shit to you lol#that's the first time I've ever called it trauma but now that I mention it it really is huh#still remember sobbing afterwards about the wounds on my back#shame I never got any scars#the least I could get for going through that#fun fact: The next house we moved to after that incident had a dog that was chained that I played with#one of my strongest memories with the dog was of accidentally hurting it because of how sad and guilty it made me#like damn I really liked that dog#despite the fact that I still couldn't get too close given the whole recently formed trauma thing#I do also remember getting chased by a crocodile with my aunt back in the same home the dog attack took place in#or was it an alligator#but honestly I have trouble believing that memory wasn't a dream#even though that's the only memory of that time I'm unsure is a dream or not#one day I should ask my aunt if it was a dream#also we were in the house's compound so we were able to run inside and be fine#but somehow I doubt that that really happened#oops there I go rambling in the tags again
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screaming into the void <3
#my best friends boyfriend (who iāve also been friends with for years) is just. not himself rn#we think itās a manic episode but we donāt really know but itās. terrifying lowkey#he thinks heās genuinely jesus and that heās conquered time and that he and my bsf are adam and eve#heās been sending my bsf liek hundreds of texts per day since tuesday but it got really really bad and incoherent yesterday#and i woke up this morning to see multiple texts from gcs he created w me in them#and he keeps being like ābecause itās 6:20 this is trueā and like āi know that at 9 pm everyone is gonna understandā#and heāll text like 5 times then send a sc of what he just texted like that proves something but itās all nonsense#iām just really really concerned cause he really needs help but i donāt know how to ensure that happens cause heās 19. not a minor#heās just. not him rn. heās called my bsf multiple times yesterday when he HATES calling normally#he had his band and his mom over in his apartment yesterday cause my bsf called his mom and h went to his bands show but was visibly not ok#and he saw nothing weird about it even tho he hates having ppl over normally and never without warning#and you canāt get him to see logic because everything you say he just twists around to work for him#to be clear it was not this bad when it started. when it started it seemed like normally maybe slightly out there conclusions he was drawing#but it just got worse and worse like exponential decay and really bad yesterday#he also didnāt sleep at all yesterday night and idk if he slept tonight#i know his mom took his phone at one point but he texted me and gcs w me in it starting at like 6:20 this morning#and my bsf and i and friends are on a trip out of state rn but weāre leaving today and i donāt wanna wake her up until i have to because#this is literally hell for her. but itās just. scary. i donāt know what to do. i donāt think thereās any good options really for me rn#i want to warn ppl and try to explain heās Not Him rn so they donāt get concerned but who knows if theyāll understand what iām trying to say#i know itās not the end of the world but it really feels like the end of my world as i know it if that makes sense#and my bsf lives with him in an apartment near their college and they just signed the lease for the next year#but she canāt stay there with him alone. not until he gets help. weāre all too scared itās going in the directon where he thinks itās better#for ppl to go to the afterlife. which like he never would normally. but heās Not Him and so like. who knows#he keeps talking about all these different dimensions and how you need to travel to the 7th dimension to understand#my bsf was crying yesterday and she called her mom to explain and she keeps saying that she just wants her jake back itās really scary#cause he will probably never be the same again. heāll be similar but different but she wants his comfort but heās Not Him. and canāt give it#i just. really want this to get better but itās so hard to see that happening rn
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