#and i never got any calls back
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Wow it sure is fun having covid a second time. Good thing covid is over tho and I can just go to work tomorrow *screams*
#like#i only tested positive yesterday#and theres a possibility of me losing my job#if i dont go#and i really cant afford to lose my job alcuz as we all know even when you apply to jobs they wont always call you back right away if at all#and i had been looking up til last month#and i never got any calls back#so like#fml ig#im so tired and in pain#im gpnna be as petty ad possible tomorrow vuz im just so doneeeee#rant#personal#hisao
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my attempt at making a fursona
#i never see any mole furries so i thought id try my hand at it ^_^#i was hungry making this and was thinking of dirt cup pudding so its partly inspired by that and mario grass blocks#i dont draw furries very often so this was a fun learning experience lol. also!! star nose moles are kinda cute!!!!#when i was coming up with a name my mind kept going back to that tiktok of dogs and the tts voice saying stuff like i like mulch#mulch is my favorite food! yippee mulch!! so if youre wondering where i got the name theres the lore for it#i also wanna make a sea otter fursona.. and perhaps a snowshoe hare or other winter animal. oh or a barn owl!!#im trying to free my mind when it comes to making multiple sonas bc im still trying to wrap my head around it#ive always kinda seen myself as my persona but i want to try and be silly with it. actually while i was making this i was a little doubtful#to call it my fursona bc it doesnt look like me but a little voice inside my head was like well. youre not a 5 foot tall talking mole eithe#so you might as well. and i was thinking abt ppl with their dragon wolves with wings and i was like wow.. youre right... i can do what i#want forever. and brother that shit was enlightening it was like my third eye opened when i realized that#my art#myart#my oc#oc#fursona#mulch#furry art#sfw furry#character design#oc ref sheet#reference sheet
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codtwt is going off on brainwashed!soap bc of his new warzone skin and it’s making me think of ghost deliberately getting himself captured by makarov bc he knows he’ll be given to his dog to try and break him; knows he won’t be able to resist the irony, the cruelty of being tortured by the teammate he lost
he doesn’t fight; welcomes the chains around his wrists and ankles, welcomes the hands stripping him of his weapons and gear until he's defenceless
he wouldn't use them anyway
when he stalks into the room, the muzzle, the scars, not even the blank hatred or lack of recognition could make him mistake his eyes
that's his johnny
he doesn't flinch as he digs knives into his skin; would never shy away from his kiss even if it's tinged with rusted steel. doesn't swallow his screams; not when he always loved hearing him, when he spent so long coaxing his voice from the grave
frustration joins the anger in johnny's eyes the longer he goes without giving up information
just jokes; dark and puns alike
just advice when he can't get the jumper cables to spark right
ghost's not trying to escape; not trying to barter his return to the 141
he's right where he wants to be
#ghost letting him be tortured indefinitely if it means being with johnny i am going to eat glass#he doesnt even care if he never gets him back. if the brainwashing is permanent#he still treats him the same. gives him openings to meet a punchline or rib him for something#no matter how long he goes without responding. without giving him any hope of becoming the man he knew#if pain is all he’ll ever get from johnny again he’ll welcome it gratefully with open arms#he got his share of kindness. more than he ever thought he deserved. if pain has to balance it out then so be it#so long as johnny is the one giving it to him#meanwhile soap gets more and more frustrated that he cant break this soldier#that when he becomes more inventive he just meets him with a story about people he doest know but acts like he should#that every day when his master calls him away he leaves with a soft - /loving/ - see you tomorrow johnny echoing in his ears#he doesnt understand#and it just makes him more vicious#but the soldier doesnt care#he still smiles in the face of pain#still calls him johnny#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#soap cod#john soap mactavish#ghost x soap#save post
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The basegame wedding dress has a pregnancy morph??
#I can never be positive if something in my game is like. a third-party launcher addition#but this is so funny and I had such a strong hunch#because rushing to have your Sim get married before they give birth is such a thing so many players would do!!#and it would be so funny to pay attention to that detail by having the wedding dress show the bump!!!!#all your sim's wedding photos very obviously giving away the reason for the rushed date HAHA#the dress with the pendant at the back that everyone default replaces off (the one with the knife texture) also has a preg morph#which I know because it's the one your Sims get forced into if they attend a wedding#but it's kind of unusual because pregnant Sims don't have the opportunity to change into formal wear?#like pregnant Sims get new undies pyjamas and swimwear in addition to their maternity outfit#and if you direct a pregnant Sim to change into one of them then it changes them into the appropriate maternity fit instead of their usual#but you can't direct them to change into formal and if you use a hacked option like the shop any-wear rack it uses their usual non morph fi#so it has to be something external like a wedding that triggers them to change into formal. and I have no idea why#does this mean there's a BG suit with a preg morph for men??#or did maxis not think that pregnant male Sims would be quite so desperate to get married#anyway I'm probably the last person to know about this LMAO and I'm sure no one cares bc everyone uses wear-anything mods#but I'm a scrub who still prefers to use the default maternity meshes so this is yuge to me#also if you've never seen this dress b4: in the early game all Sims getting married under an arch used to be forced into the same outfits#actually I can't remember if the men got forced into the same suit or if they just used their regular formal#because most BG formal outfits for men were mostly wedding-appropriate#but at any rate. all women wore the same wedding dress. and it was this .... beauty#and I don't remember with which EP it changed but probably pretty early on they just let Sims use their regular formal wear for weddings#so you could pick their wedding dress yourself#but this dress remained hidden by default (I think?) so ironically it meant you COULDN'T use the wedding dress even if you wanted to#also this is completely off topic but you would also go away for your honeymoon#which meant the Sims getting married would literally get driven away in a limousine and stay off-world for a while#it was kind of cute because it really was like they took a vacation from the player too. got up to their own mischief away from your contro#then with bon voyage they introduced ACTUAL vacations and they turned honeymoons into an actual game mechanic#but again these offworld honeymoons are no longer a possibility#kind of like teens 'going out' with permission got replaced by going out on actual outings/dates even though it was a cute event#wow this note section is long and irrelevant. anyway enjoy picking up your wedding dress from a store called 'It's Not Too Late'
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Me looking at vol 1: How can I make this more tragic than it already is
This is actually part 1 but idk if I wanna ruin my life again trying to draw pt 2 I was chipping away at this for like a week. So maybe in the distant future
#the mandela catalogue#cesar torres#mark heathcliff#mandela catalogue fanart#tmc#tmc fanart#Making up lore for them because they literally have no lore#Like their only screentime is like a 1 min monotone phone call#Technically Cesar never got any screentime it was his alternate lmfao#So basically Im lowkey glad theyre not coming back so they cant destroy my headcanons#i love being delusional
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Bernie Sanders finally made a statement, on Nov. 4, calling for a "pause" in the bombing. People in the replies are saying "better late than never!" and I don't even know where to start.
The genocide has been going on for almost a month. Over 9,000 men, women, and children have been murdered. Thousands more have been wounded. Members of press and healthcare and their families have been deliberately targeted and assassinated. Israel has been murdering civilians en masse with impunity for weeks, both lying about it and blatantly admitting to it. 100+ Palestinians have been murdered in the West Bank due to settler terrorism backed by the Israeli army.
In an interview, Dr. Ofer Cassif, the Knesset member who was suspended for calling for an end to Israeli violence against Palestinians, revealed that he'd reached out to Bernie months prior to Oct. 7th because of the pogroms being carried out by Israelis against Palestinians which he said would result with an "explosion [of violence]", but received no response.
what the fuck do you mean "better late than never". what the fuck do you mean? the genocide is still ongoing, and, just like Blinken, Biden, and every complicit ghoul, he's calling for a pause. not a ceasefire. a ceasefire is just the start of what needs to happen. but he hasn't even called for that.
"better late than never" what gives you the fucking right to say that? tell that to the 10,000 people who the U.S. and its allies allowed Israel to murder. tell that to the thousands of wounded. tell that to the thousands who have been displaced. tell that to the people of Gaza who have been without food, water, and fuel for WEEKS. tell that to the Palestinians in the West Bank who are being murdered at the hands of settler terrorists. tell that to the Palestinians who were abducted and tortured and released with blue bands around their ankles. tell that to the Palestinians in occupied Palestine who can't reach their families and friends. tell that to Palestinians in diaspora who have seen their families, their friends, their people slaughtered with the full backing and support of the vast majority of western governments and media.
"better late than never" no, it's not good enough. IT'S NOT. there are SO many people around the world - both citizens and members of government - who recognized the injustice for what it was the DAY the bombing started. we owe the Palestinian people so much more than that. "better late than never" the ONLY thing that could POSSIBLY begin to even "make up" for the horrors and injustices inflicted upon the Palestinian people for almost a century is to end the genocide, end the occupation, end the apartheid, end settler colonialism, and dismantle the colonial state. Palestinians deserve NO LESS than total emancipation. Complete liberation. until then, it is not and will never be enough.
#sorry for spiel i just. got so mad. 'better late than never' DO YOU SEE ANY PALESTINIANS SAYING THAT? I WONDER WHY!#also the idea that we can just 'forgive and forget' if a ceasefire is called is insane and out of the question.#there is NO going back to 'business as usual'. we CANNOT and should not expect things to 'how they were before'.#god. i just. USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also this is not like a total endorsement of cassif idk much about him im adding him in as a means to point to bernie's complicity#as far as im concerned bernie is just as complicit as everyone else.#if you are a bernie fan do NOT @ me i am NOT going to debate on this.#im sure hes not all evil nto all bad but it doesnt MATTER. he is COMPLICIT and that will not change. not for the rest of his LIFE.#people like tlaib and c. bush knew what was what within the first days of the bombing. theres no fucking excuse for his inaction!#AND I SAY ALL OF THIS AS SOMEONE WHO LIKED BERNIE.#📁.zip
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a MCU/Percy Jackson crossover with Bucky Barnes as a demigod. Ik your already thinking, he's a soldier so Ares obviously but he's actually a child of Aphrodite. Reasoning: before the war and when he's healed he is dressed very well. He wasn't really into war. he's never really fighting for the fight, he's fighting for someone or because he has to. He was forced to be a soldier in both instances (drafted/brainwashed). Mcu Bucky doesn't give off Ares kid vibes. So Aphrodite kid.
#plus theirs this version of Aphrodite called Aphrodite Areia which is a war like Aphrodite and the idea of this Aphrodite kid#forcibly going from 🥰💋🕊 to 🌹⚔️💔. b#bucky barnes#marvel mcu#marvel cinimatic universe#now comic bucky is an ares kid he was rasied by the military LITTERLY that was kinda fed up but thats old comics for you#the winter soldier#i think he should be pissed about hydras logo not being a fukning hydra! thats an octopus🐙#hydras have multiple HEADS that grow back when they get cus off 🙄#mcu headcanons#marvel#mcu bucky barnes#captain america#steve rogers#the avengers#captain america the winter soldier#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo#also any of the aus with the Avengers being a demigods are so funny like imagine going from the battle of Manhattan in like 09 then less#then five years later 2012 the battle of ny happens!#Demigod Avenger: YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHERE THE HELL IM FIGHTING THESE ALIENS!!!!!#Demigod: no idea#Demigod Avenger: BACK IN NEW FUCKING YORK!!!!! THIS GODS FORSAKEN CITY CANT CATCH A BRAKE!!!!#Demigod: 💀💀💀 but really do you need help?#Demigod Avenger: no im good. got my ambrosia and nector. its just trippy to not be fighting with you all this time.#Demigod: ok. call if you need us and we'll be there#Demigod Avenger: 🥰✌🥰#fanfic aus#alternate universe
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Have you been assesed for adhd?
nope, though im pretty sure i got it ... or its something similar bc although also not officially diagnosed there is no way im not autistic OTL
the only things i have been .. 'diagnosed' with is anxiety and chronic depression, though both of which by a therapist that got arrested for fraud and harassment (hahaha .. ._.) and im not sure how much weight that can hold both bc of .. THAT and bc i honestly have no idea how much a therapist can do (its been many years since then too) and the only meds he ever offered me where like .. drugs ('herbs')
i have been thinking of asking our family doctor about it but im rather afraid of whatever process i gotta go through to get anything that might help since im sure its also not JUST adhd that causing all this (and ... im afraid it could impact how i am treated ... like if they know im autistic are they not gonna take me seriously anymore or stop me from making choices about myself.. welp theres the anxiety ndfjkgndfknvgfdk)
(and a new therapist is pretty impossible bc theres a really big problem of not enough therapists around ESPECIALLY where i live ... also fear bc of the previous one .. haha ._, )
#ganondoodles answers#ganondoodles talks#personal#i am german so whatever process it is in america is not gonna be how it is here#.....also doesnt help that i nearly got put in a ... mental health .. facility (idk what its called in english) when i was younger#and uuh .. barely managed to make them not do it#one of the scariest moments in my life#mom made the plan with my oldest sister in secret and drove me off to the doctor .. idk if they told me just before and forced me to go#or literally on the parking lot of the doctor .. i think it was the latter#being out on a parking lot and being talked down to by my sister (who never tried to talk to me about anything mental health wise btw)#AND by the doctor .. i had to convince him to not do it .. literally so scary#-and mom about putting me in some facillity .. cant even describe it .. to me it was pure horror#im sure those facilities arent that bad or soemthing but i felt like they where trying to kick me out and into a prison#i do NOT do well anywhere that isnt home#AND doing the thing i haven been trying to make it clear makes everything a thousand times worse-#-talking about it behind my back and then just doing things without me gettign any say in it and then given no choice#its literally the worst thing you can do!!!!#sorry TMI perhaps but!!! many things have happened!! bad!!
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HE DEADASS CONFESSED BRO
#and laios swearing he will come back and share a meal with him at a restaurant together stfu😭#i had this lowkey spoiled but only mentioned in memes#fr this was so INTENSE kabru didn't let go of laios' arm any moment he was so scared of losing him???#his tsundere ass got so embarrased when laios exposed him he had to punch him lmao#while laios didn't understand how someone could go so far for his friendship like every friendship he has had have ended in rejection+#(except marcille chillchuck and senshi but they'r more like family at this point)(love when kabru called laios' party his family as whole)#so kabru coming so openly in saying he would love to learn more about him and be by his side hits all the right spots#kabru is finally invited to the family mealss so cute#the classic “i promise i will come back” -> “you'd better keep your promise. i will wait” OKAY HI WHAT R WE DOING#i better see them eating and sharing meals together and hanging out together and laughing and#dungeon meshi#reading#giving a second though it's understandable u could at first say wow kabru so down bad for laios he did all of that for one man#but in a simplified way we could say the same for laios and marcille as well. they have endured a lot for falin#but it's smth greater than that. it's the seek of knowledge too. laios for monsters biology. marcille for magic and kabru for people+#(el chisme i mean. humanism. kabru would def be an anthropologist or politician)#in the dungeon they found smth they could never have achieved in the surface#strong desires
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Destined to lose an eye in every timeline (Patreon)
Bonus alt:
#Doodles#Helix#Coraline#Blood#Yippee <3 Eye horror <3#I said I'd do it and I did it! Oops??? Lol#It was too fun and too fitting of an idea to just Not do it I had to - he always loses an eye! That's just the rules!#Coraline being PG means we never see any blood but like... Yes the Beldam is magic But Like..........#I really do love the idea of him making the impulsive decision - getting so close to a total yes - and only the pain snapping him out of it#Boy just doesn't learn without The Worst consequences! <Doesn't actually believe that but I must mean to him ♥#Him being alone and locked up inside the mirror until he ''comes to his senses'' and agrees to be a good son hough <3#Just wants the pain to stop! But if one hurts this much what would two be like? But then he'd get everything promised him right?#Hmm ♪#But then Dex comes to the rescue! Yaay <3 Definitely not mutually traumatic or anything :)#Especially if there really was a magical element that was keeping the wound ''healthy'' (ever-bleeding without running out of blood? Hmm)#And then as soon as they step back into the real world they get to deal with the consequences#We never see what would've happened to a false start! I mean it's very gory it makes sense haha#And the fake snow melts like real snow... Could go any number of ways really#Maybe for the happiest ending once they get out together Max's eye is all better! :D Or healed Enough but still unusable :0#Could got the xxxHolic route and Dex gives up half his eye to Max so they only have three eyes' worth of strength between them haha#Neither of them needed glasses before - although I get the feeling Dex would wear contacts even if he did :0 He'd look good in glasses...#Though I think that about everyone haha#Love the little details like Dex calling him Max rather than ''sir'' those particular moments too much ahh <3 <3#And I do like the alt! Bleeding!! ♥ But I think the pace and flow works better with the two expressions separated out :)#Fun fun ♪ Scary fun
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Hot take: You shouldn't get in trouble for having bad grades if you're doing your assignments and participating in class but are struggling in school even though you are trying your best. However, if your bad grades are caused by you being on your phone in class instead of paying attention in class and not doing your assignments, you 100% deserve to get in trouble for having bad grades.
#if you are genuinely putting in effort at school then you should be punished for your grades#if you dont put in any effort you bring your punishment for bad grades on yourself#its one thing to not do schoolwork because of personal problems#its another thing not to do schoolwork because you dont feel like it#i was a good student so when i stopped doing my assignments one of my teachers got concerned i was having problems at home#she called my mother asking if everything was okay at home#which is how my mom found out i was not doing my work and she got concerned#my math teacher was failing me for having missing assignments even though i had turned them in because she hadnt graded them yet#my mom told me to working on my assignments for math but don't worry about trying to pass#after that i started doing my schoolwork in other classes and brought my grades back up#my sister on the other hand slacked off all the time and lied about doing her assignments#so she got in trouble a lot and my mom never believed her when she complained about teachers#i think a lot of yall didnt pay attention in class and didnt do your homework#and then wanna whine because you got in trouble for having bad grades#or you did well until you had to put in effort and then stopped trying altogether#and then wanna cry because you got in trouble for bad grades
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Has this been shared here already?
https://www.change.org/p/petition-for-amazon-to-remove-maya-henry-s-book-looking-forward
Oh and before anyone comes at me saying “you are silencing her” or whatever the hell you like to tell yourself, here’s what I think:
«Taking down baseless, unproven allegations on TikTok/YT isn’t about “silencing victims”... it’s about protecting individuals from the chaos of mob mentality and the very real consequences of unfounded accusations. Posting allegations online, without evidence or due process, turns justice into a popularity contest where public opinion becomes more powerful than the truth. This irresponsible behavior doesn't just harm the accused but fuels online harassment, character assassination, and irreversible damage to reputations. […] People’s lives, careers, and mental health can be severely impacted based on speculation alone. Liam got so much online bullying and harassment. […] It’s reckless to call for public judgment when the facts haven’t been examined in any structured, legitimate way. Sending a C&D letter to silence him… then asking why he won't speak? Really? I call that manipulation at the finest. Demanding that she take down the videos is not about “silencing” anyone; it’s about ensuring that the truth isn’t drowned out by hearsay. When unproven allegations take center stage, it sends a message that public accusations hold more weight than justice itself. And are we ok with that? NO! Victims deserve to be heard, but in a way that’s responsible, FAIR (so two sides are heard not just one), and legally sound». (via X).
#without any risks of exaggeration#she is the most vile person in this story#and it’s not even about the allegations#it’s her stupid american way of always making everything sensational#for clicks and likes and popularity#she chose tiktok to talk because 1. it’s literally her level of brain development target#she knew she would have found a fertile ground there#to spread ‘gossip’ and ‘spill tea’ about One Direction first#(and obviously nasty lies but that’s for another day)#and she knew that would have been easy to find support if she started fire of hate against Liam#everything she said has been dismantled btw#everything people were accusing Liam for and hate liam for and call liam an abuser for#was never specifically said because she knew#she couldn’t go that route#she needed just to feed the masses DOUBTS about him and his behaviour#she just needed doubts and people got the bait as they always do#her family is nasty#her grandad is in jail#her father is an influential lawyer#probably republicans filthy rich#i hope she stays away for a very long time#cause once she’s back there’s no room for bullies#i hope she doesn’t rest at night btw#whatever happened to Liam#she is as responsible as the next person#if not more#for all the hate she sent his way when he was already down#fuck you Maya Henry
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Undertale yellow flowey embroidery
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/32a0955ae0ece840c6b5b6d3644dce0d/1392aeb5a92a16ec-6a/s540x810/120b308421807562a16f6ca6de5d17eb024cf298.jpg)
This took about 40 hours, give or take a few
#I can tell you one thing#Embroidering while having arthritis is really not a piece of cake. When you hand cramps just by holding it at an angle.#At least I can be grateful for my empty schedule#Makes embroidering till the sun rises back up so much easier#Insomnia also helps with this task#I was listening to the ost while working on it and… Live reaction#Occupied turf is so good actually !? Why wasn’t it shown more often !? IT’S FIRE !?#I forgot I only did a pacifist so I got so confused when neutral Flowey came out…#A mother’s love ? Should’ve called this “I’m gonna fuck you up”#The number of time I got my ass handed back to me in this fight is not even funny#The first time is great. The second I only discern my favorites and the sudden change in style. By the third loop I can’t recognize shit#my brain is melting and my eyes are on fire…#Advantages on doing it during daytime. Eyes hurt less. Good stupid tv to listen to in the background Disadvantages. People#Advantages on doing it at night. Alone. Personally work better at night#Disadvantages. No good TV. Time goes by slower…? I don’t know maybe I’m just loosing it with those freaking petals#For reference one petal took me about 3 and a half hours. So yeah… I thought it would never end… Took out almost all my yellow.#When the line tangles itself in the back and you realize only close to the end of it that half went missing#So you have to go backward to entangle it and loose 30 mins because damn it#Cats are not helpful in any of those scenarios#Why do I feel the need to make the back perfect when nobody else but me will know#This is the last time I do one so big without thinking it through#Note to self. Don’t do it standing up when the cats are awake. She just destroyed my stomach#I think i’m losing it#Back after a few weeks#God this white thread is doing my head in… I’m willing to bet my leg half the time I spent on the face was me untangling it.#I’m almost done. It’s finally over. Dark brown took exactly 4 h and 13 mins#undertale#undertale yellow#embroidery#I’m thinking of doing Boris the wolf next. Because I just found the perfect rendition to put on my wall
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From Venom: The Enemy Within issue #2
#venom#venom comics#marvel#marvel comics#venom the enemy within#venom-ass-daily#with special guest appearance of Morbius!#yeah ive never read any morbius titles#but based on the stuff Ive read/seen with morbius in it i think i can assume that he just kinda sucks#idk though#morbius nation if youre out there let me know#anyway back to venom#he calls him “morbie old kid”#what even is that lol#like who talks like that#and then morbius says he has thick thighs#even morbie old kid knows venoms got it
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it is a lie.
there is the promise, of course, every single time. that this time it will help, this time you'll be able to quit for good after just - once - more -
and then you look up and realise it's 1am and your hands are covered with blood. you've used up all the tissues and it's still bleeding. of course you grab something and stanch it, it's not going to kill you, but it's sure as hell going to make living unfun.
it's a lie. you can be clinical about it - you can measure depth and size and analyse if this needs medical attention or not. and then once you're absolutely sure it could do with it (curse the moment you figured out the technique that allows you to go deeper), you can ignore it and pretend it's fine.
it's not fine, of course. but even now, there's pain. of course there's pain. it's gaping, you idiot, and if you went to the emergency department they'd suture it just like they would have the previous one you ignored that got infected, but improved before you absolutely had to seek medical attention. they are not going to heal quickly; they're going to look pretty bad even if they manage to heal before you've got to wear short sleeves for placement. never mind the fact that summer's coming on. search up summer cardigans and hope they're not too expensive.
but there's pain. why would you do it? why would you keep chasing the high you will not get from this? why are you still thinking, if I just go fully to the muscle layer now, this will fix everything? it won't. you fool. is it muscle pain you're feeling right now, or nerve? how would you know?
cry about it, you bitch. you did it to yourself. you know, what you really want is someone to hug you real good, someone who knows what you've done and why you did it. but last time you showed someone it made you go deeper because what you showed them wasn't enough. you better hope they don't ask to see how that one's healing, because you can't show them the healing process without showing this newest one they don't know you've got. they said they weren't happy with you keeping the implement you used last time. you said it was a once-off, a mad impulse born of a specific, high stress trigger. you might even have believed it.
why would you do it? why are you going so deep, deep enough that after every action to make it deeper, you do all the basic checks to make sure you haven't permanently damaged something? don't mess around with this. your hands are your livelihood. if you hit a nerve, there ain't no coming back from that. you know what you're doing.
arms are dangerous. surely you knew that was almost the exact place someone you knew went, had to get fourteen stitches emergently because they hit something real bad. if you're tired, get sleep. if you're tired of life, get help. don't destroy yourself like this.
it is a lie. it will not make you feel better. it will simply add to your problems. why don't you care? the promise of relief is a lie. if you're sad about it, if you're crying, then do something. tell someone. reach out, and someone will reach back to you. they want to help. let them help. people want to love you; let them love you.
#EDIT i would like to add. if you know any irl friends of mine please DO NOT MENTION ANY OF THIS#i don't know why i wrote this in the second person it just sort of. appeared#tw sh#personal#puddleglum hours#i'm safe etc etc#do not call the cops on me#and yes. the moment when you do something and feel pain along the entire muscle#which i do not understand because it wasn't That deep. like i've never actually got muscle-deep#but i heeded the warning and Stopped but. brain is still going 'if you go Deeper it will Magically Feel Better'#(i am not in fact going to go deeper dw)#in lighter news. i am writing vaniah again. shall be back to tumblr presently#and also. there will at least at this point only be two (2) noticeable scars on my arm so far. i haven't gone ham#i am so tired i want a hug#sorry for this post i just. yeah
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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