thinking about javier after the gang fell apart...
uhhh some thoughts below⬇️
what javier did between the events of rdr2 and rdr1 has always been in my mind. I just think he was an absolute mess. he wasn't coping with the fact that he not only lost the family he tried so desperately to hold onto, he also realized that he fucked up horrendously, and there's no going back to fix it and the guilt and regret eats at him like nothing else.
he really just. stops taking care of himself, I don't think he cuts his hair short yet but he lets it grow and doesn't care for it like he used to. he doesn't sleep, he never bathes, he drinks and cries when he's alone, he just wanders between cantinas in nuevo paraiso, hoping he stays under the radar of the government.
i like to think something happens that makes him snap out of it, whatever it might be. when he does, his hair is so matted he just ends up cutting it all off with his knife
like those 12 years are something I want to elaborate on bc it's still wild to me that rdr2 javier and rdr1 javier are the same person
Today's entry makes me genuinely afraid of the count. I know I'm still trying to keep it light and make fun and all but I realised how unsettling it might have been for Jonathan to see a woman getting straight up mauled by the wolves just after her child gets snatched.
Also, I love the parallel of Jonathan losing his identity and the woman losing her child to the count. After witnessing everything he witnessed and losing that one sense of identity, it's natural for him to believe that he would be better off dead much like he believes that the woman is better off dead than have to witness her child's suffering.
in most size fiction, you’ll see giants trapping tinies in a variety of objects. things like small boxes, under cups, perhaps in a clean jar. all of those are safe for a tiny. however, you’ll never see a tiny trapped in a plastic bottle, or a styrofoam container, and that is because tinies can actually leech micro-plastics and styrene from their surroundings and concentrate it into a venomous substance they can shoot from their gills, like that freakyass dinosaur in that one Jurassic Park movie. the only notable exception to this are those plastic little bug containers with a magnifying glass at one end they sell at the dollar store with a shitty net. those are able to hold tinies without any effects; science is unable to explain why.
funny story though. my roommate is still taking food but my memory is so bad when it comes to things i don’t eat myself (adhd)
when i talk to friends and family about the situation the first thing they ask is, “are you sure you’re not sleep eating?” which is adorable. they wanna believe, even if for a second, that maybe i’m not truly at fault for making myself into such a cow 🥺 i get it bc im getting very fat even with the thievery but at the same time. im literally being gaslit
I'M SORRY I don't like to put something little mine with the great stories I love so much but *inhales* @somerandomdudelmao, @kathaynesart, are you okay with doing this???? *Puts you both in the "Bucket of suffering"*
You guys ever think about how William compared Rachel to a wildfire and Max to the stars (at least that’s how I interpreted it) in Chloe’s dream/vision and then we find out that Rachel is a huge astronomy nerd and Chloe uses Rachel’s old constellation nightlight to comfort her and how this is yet another way that Max and Rachel are weirdly connected?
kenny ortgea, descendants 3 / katy prickett, medieval 'love motto' gold ring found near frinton / x / x / x / 墨香铜臭, heaven official's blessing / mitski, geyser / dove cameron and khalid, we go down together / mitski, i'm your man / anne sexton, 'a letter to w. d. snodgrass' / x / florence + the machine, heavy in your arms / x