#and i just cant understand and it feels so. ugh idk
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thecrabbybarista · 5 months ago
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Can they put out a new nightmare time puzzle so the hatchetfield fandom can talk about something besides shipping for 10 seconds
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finally caved and started reading all for the game. two chapters into the foxhole court and what kind of gay fucking shit is this! also did not know there were sports in here
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mushed-kid · 1 year ago
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i don’t think i can ever be really close to anyone
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volcanogoblin · 4 months ago
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:')
#what do you do when you feel like everyone else in your friend group cant see or recognize how annoying a person is#sjshsksbsksnsksjs i cant stand her i get so annoyed when i see her or hear about her that ive just had to leave#and tbh my mental has been a lot better since......#idk its gotten to the point where i struggle ignoring her or being cordial because im just like “OH MY GOD get over yourself”#yeah were all sad it doesnt make you special and you arent the most sad either#people who make how depressed they are part of their personality / their only personality trait are my biggest pet peeve#and i think a big reason for that is i used to do that so i understand but like that will only make you continue to feel worse because#youre like always acknowledging the sad and youre building your life and personality around how sad you are to the point where you CANT get#better because sadness is part of who you are and it feels like losing that sadness is losing the only part of yourself you know and#understand#but no!!!!!#thats just how you stay sad!!!!#some people think if you arent sad forever then your depression isnt as real as other peoples and i think she is that way#which is another reason i cannot stand her bc she thinks im not depressed too just because i dont talk about it#bitch!!!!! ive tried to kill myself!!!! i have self harm scars that will never heal from 10 years ago!!!!!#but i dont make it part of my personality!!!!! why would i!!!!#ugh im so annoyed that i feel like i have to prove myself#and its like if im not depressed all the time then i never was depressed#when bitch i was put in a psych ward!!!!!#i hate her#tbh#im starting to think i cant go back#i miss a lot of people but bc of her i just hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#vgobvent
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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...
#truly i have too modes. so fucking busy i cant breathe. cant think without a muddled lag. feeling motion sick as i walk#a path ive walked a thousand times over. or not busy enough. without thr pressure i revert to a liquid state and spill across the floor#i cant seem to do anything. at least when im busy i cant feel how miserable i am. at least for a little while bc i have to focus#idk how to find a balance. it always seems to be all or nothing. outside my control but directed by my control#ugh. after the month ive had the misery's caught up with me. also i havent been sleeping enough#i felt horrible all day in the lab ans i was like. i mean maybe its low bloodsugar? but then when i went home i felt 1000 times better#which is. ya kno understandable but not great#idk i can just feel the anger leaking out from under my skin. ive made the system unlivable. now im suffocating on the echo of pain#and i feel bad bc it must b all over my face. bitterness simmering in my words#i met with my boss today for a delayed meeting of a delayed meeting and showed her some preliminary data. she was excited and asked what i#felt abt it. and i dont feel anything abt it. nothing. i dont care i dont care i dont care i dont fucking care#set my datasheets on fire. burn them to ash. i wouldnt feel anything#and im sure some of that sentiment came thru bc she later texted me to reiterate how cool the data is bc no ones done a study this#extensive ans i dont kno how to reply bc again i dont care. theres no breathing enthusiasm back. that dim light has been extinguished. i#look forward to never having to think abt it again.#whatever the more pressing issue is that i cant get my brain to function enough to save me from the other problems i have boiling over#just me sabotaging potential future happiness from where i sit unhappily in the present#annoying. ugh i need to sleep.#unrelated
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bogos-bint3d · 1 year ago
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Oooooooo you wanna find me great incredible Undyne centric content that I haven't seen before and will be consumed by ooooooooooo
#i say this because you genuinely cannot understand just how insane over her i am that i have legitimately seen almost all the interesting-#-content about her#i am not fucking kidding#if its on like the first 3 pages of anywhere ive searched for her ever. i have seen it. tumblr youtube ao3 google i HAVE SEEN!!!!!!!#ok well not as much with ao3. simply because im always searching for something specific on there. so like. there probably will be some-#-really good things on there i havent seen yet#but still. i have very high standards if there is anything I don't like ill spontaneously combust#and im legitimately like 94% i know literally every single thing about her mentioned in the game. so you wont be able to surprise me with-#-anything there either. but also you never really know so#i mean yeah just feel free to talk to me about her at any time. I wont be able to start the conversation. because like i just cant#but if you mention something interesting enough in the first sentence ill probably be able to keep the conversation going for a good while#sorry i probably sound really rude and snobbish rn cause im all like ''ugh i already know everything im so smart'“#''whatever show me will be beneath me'' BUT I SWEAR THAT IS NOT HOW IM TRYING TO COME OFF#IM REALLY REALLY SORRY I JUST GENUINELY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO GET ACROSS HOW I N E E D IT TO BE SOMETHING NEW AND SOMETHING THAT ILL REALLY-#REALLY WANT TO SEE#IM SO SO SORRY I HATE THAT I SOUND SO RUDE HERE I JUST. like guys i just really want to see something new‚ something thatll make me happy.#sigh#okokok.#all good guys#uhm. yeah. maybe if you find something maybe tell me but also idk because what if i already know about it then dont know what to say. i just#i j . i dont even know man#ok im done#undyne
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bare1ythere · 2 years ago
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Having lots of thoughts about how sensitive I am to others' opinions on my hyperfixation
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haemosexuality · 2 years ago
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I Am Someone Who Is Terrified Of Making People Mad At Or Disappointed With Me. I Never Ever Affirm Myself Or Go Against What Anyone Irl Says To Me Ever Because Of It. I Am In A Situation Rn Where I Need To Do That Tho And The Longest I Put It Off The More It Negatively Affects Me. I Want To Cry.
#its not anything serious its like#well i train karate. and i just got piercings#im still a rlly low (red) belt so its not like im idk getting punched in the face. or getting my face touched at all. so theres not any#danger to training w piercings. nothings getting hurt or tugged#my sensei tho is a conservative 30 something who is Really into the Rulestm#and said i have to take off any jewerly piercings or earrings before training#which i am fine w doing once its healed. its not tho#and its ideal to wait between 6 months and a year to take piercings out for long periods of time (training takes 1:30-2hrs)#cause the holes can start closing really fast#so. if i followed his rules id have to not train karate for like a year. which i am obviously not fucking doing. especially cause i plan#to get more piercings so id just have to stop training forever#so i need to. talk to him. and explain. and be like ik what u said but im gonna have to break that rule. because i wanted to get piercings.#its not serious but im so scared of doing that its making me want to cry wifuewhguihugyg#esp bc i am also disabled a bit ig and i cant follow the rythm of other students and hes always been so understanding and great ab it#it feels shitty to be like hey fuck you im breaking ur rules#like who am I to do that#ugh#i asked ppl on the piercing subreddit and a guy there who is a sensei said that it should be fine to train w piercings#so it is probably just a Traditiontm thing yk#once its healed enough that i can at least change the jewelry i plan to swap it all for clear silicon bars#so its soft and not noticeable#but that will also take at least a few months#it negatively affects me if i put it off for too long cause this shit takes practice i havent been in class for over a month im gonna suck
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago
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I don't know how to feel about the track limits thing :/ On one hand, I'm like yes they should know how to stay within the lines and they should be penalized for blatantly violating them, but on the other, it's really unfortunate to just have your result completely wiped away, and oftentimes, after the fact, so there's literally nothing they can do about it. It just feels very unfair and cruel sometimes :/
#sometimes i like it bcs it benefits my driver 😭😭😭#but even then it feels unfair#like i understand theyre going off thr track but sometimes its not even giving them an advantage???#i mean think about how yesterday both mcl boys had their p3s ripped away after the fact#oscar being told during his interview was so incredibly cruel#id be happier with the track limits thing if it didnt always happen after everything was already said and done#and i just saw for fernando in this shootout he got p5!! and then boom nope now hes dnf and p9#like how is that fair??? that you dont even know and cant safeguard against that#maybe give a warning or something???#i can't remember which racs but it wasnt one with strict limits like this one#but max kept going off and they warned him how many times he could keep doing it before penalty#it reminds me of jeddah 23. how fernando literally got thru the entire podium and then they penalized him#completely unfair!!!#and like of course austria 23 was just insane#i still havent really gotten the full scope of that bcs i was literally there and couldnt see the track limits#but i remember getting home and then seeing how many people had been demoted after the fact#though that one was kinda funny bcs aston decided to commit terrorism on all the other teams for a few points#ugh yeah idk it kinda just ruins the race a bit for me? it all feels very petty i guess#not completely ruins i just mean it sucks to keep doing this bcs theres no joy in it#catie.rambling.txt#f1#formula 1#2023 qatar gp
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emo4life · 2 years ago
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its always been so hard for me to make friends !!! i just dont get how its so easy for people and everyone just exchanges numbers and sscial medias all the time and here i am not connecting with anyone .-. like im always so so sosososo dumbfounded when i hear and see people talk abt hanging out or following eachother and stuff like... damn fr no one wants to be my pal !
#i even asked one girl at work wat her ig was and she didnt even follow me back .-.#idk !!!! even when people are nice its so hard to get to the next step of even being aquaintences !!#like 2 of my coworkers r so sweet and they even gave me a gift but idk how to like .-. make a friendship move#plus i'm not rlly good at planning any type of hang outs so its hard cuz like idk idk#anyway idk i was just thinkinh about how my entire life its just been so hard for me to connect with people literally my whole life....#idk if it will ever get better >.<#im so lonely and i always feel like such a burden too my best friend#but seriously i feel like the only reason we even became and stayed friends was because she was so so sosososososo idk ! talkative and#inviting like i dont think anyone would ever be like that with me again#and obv i liked her a lot and yeah idk if i myself could connect with someone like that again bc its so hard for me to just . connect with#people !!!!! and i#always notice some 'flaws' in people its such a bad habbit of mine but like ugh!!!!!!!! not even flaws i just when people say weird stuff#its so off putting but like its so common am i just suposed so be ok with it?!?!??! ijkshdj#the only other person ive been extremely close too was my hs friend ughhhhhh but idk >.< things just change and i understand that#its just i feel like an even emptier person now in life i dont even know what i like or anything and i cant just bond with people over stff#i feel genuiny EMPTY !#npthing makes me happy i feel like everything is fleeting
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skythealmighty · 4 months ago
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man. there are so many object shows out there. I NEED TO CATCH UP ON SO MANY why are the4e so many anyway Exclamation Mark (NOT AB) im killing you. he would get bullied off tumblr
#rocket talk #roc save #NOT THE ANIMATIC BATTLE ONE that ones fine #i mean the one in my header #hes an asshole #why do i keep accidentally hitting the number keys lately
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📉 storyboard-but-better Follow
i cant believe my contestants are so pissy over the second challenge still!!!! it was a coherent challenge i think "survive me killing you" is pretty straightforward!!! besides theyre fine now >:/
⏰ timeisatool Follow
Maybe it's becausw you killed them?
📉 storyboard-but-better Follow
well thats stupid
⚪ fuckingcircles Follow
I KNOW RIGHT!! my old contestants got SO pissy when i killed th3m!! just because theres no recovery... 😒
⏰ timeisatool Follow
You dont have recovery????
⭐ everybody-smile-smile-smile Follow
arent u supposed to be dead
⚪ fuckingcircles Follow
well im NOT so
❗ black-and-red Follow
Ugh, I haven't even killed anyone that much and they're still pissy! Honestly... just do the challenges and you'll be fine! I only threatened them..
⭐ everybody-smile-smile-smile Follow
well i thought i killed circle but ig not! and square but nobody else died idk why everuones so afraid of me... whats so wrong w wanting to make a perfect object show?
⏰ timeisatool Follow
Um
🔥 betterheatsflamesman Follow
yeah theres nothing wrong with that! you gotta do what you gotta do for your object show
⏰ timeisatool Follow
😰😰😰😰😰
⏰ timeisatool Follow
I want to leave this group...
#i thought we were all just supposed to be wacky and weird 😰😰 #mom come pick me up im scared...
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🔥🔃 betterheatsflamesman Follow reblogged 🪔 slay-style-queen
🪔 slay-style-queen Follow
Hey guys, just managed to get sponsored with my object show idea!!! (No thanks to you Lip Stick lol) wish me luck!! Also go keep an eye out on Village of Objects Official :D
🪔 slay-style-queen Follow
what the FUCK
🪔 slay-style-queen Follow
oh my god how do you all stay sane actually
4️⃣ four-therecord Follow
we don't! welcome to the club
🪔 slay-style-queen Follow
im never doing this again
#:)
(4,294 notes)
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📻 annie-annie-ooh Follow
Who's Animatic?
#It's Your Fridge DJ! #I appreciate all the lovemail and the concern! ❤ #I don't understand some of the asks but thank you anyway!
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🧪🔃 test-tubular Follow reblogged 💥 fans-fantastic-features
🫵 have-you-heard-of-this-os Follow
Have YOU heard of:
🫵 have-you-heard-of-this-os Follow
Please stop debating on whether or not this "counts" as an object show, this was requested by an anon. If you want to do that on your own time on your own blog, feel free!
💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow
SORRY ABOUT THAT SJEHSKEB will move i promise 🙏
anyWAY on another note i miss this showww 😭 i was so intrigued about it but i guess i understand its cancellation... if anyone wants to come up with a rewrite w me hmu my ao3 is in my desc!!!!
⭐ everybody-smile-smile-smile Follow
just as long as you clarify its unofficial!! (:
💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow
its on ao3 ofc its unofficial
💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow
WAIT A GODDAMN SECON
#Fan we were /on/ an object show and technically famous I'm not sure why you're surprised at this point #Also get off your phone we're at Purgatory Mansion
(11,374 notes)
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anonymous asked: hey greeny can you say trans rights for everyone out there
🟢 greenyguy Follow
trans rights AND trans wrongs. even if you like burger king i still support you <3
#burger king sucks ass tho dont do that to urself
(34,193 notes)
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💥 fans-fantastic-features asked: im SO sorry for the sudden reply earlier, up until your post i thought hfjone was just some weird wild experimental show?? then again i shouldnt be surprised if happy star themselves is on this goddamn site (also sorry in advance for my friend TT sending you asks about alternate universes. shes a science nerd of all types and needs data or sm) if you want i can tell you what i know about your situation in a private chat, ive done a lot of deep dive analysis posts on my blog too and trust me when i say a LOT of the internet wants to help free you and everyone else you have plenty of help available spotty replies tho im investigating smth
🎒 liam-plecak Follow
I... yeah, I'd like that. Thanks.
(34 notes)
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anonymous asked: battery ui is kind of already jailed but still
🔒 your-fav-would-be-jailed Follow
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Battery from Ultimate Insanity would be jailed!
🔋 theft-and-battery Follow
Yeah
#Why did someone earlier send in that Walkie Talkie person? #I approve of the Blender submission though #Hate that guy
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🎒🔃 liam-plecak Follow reblogged 💥 fans-fantastic-features
🕹 fire-cartoon-schtick Follow
cant have shit in this fuckass hotel 😒😒😒 lens just died 😔😔
🕹 fire-cartoon-schtick Follow
#WHAT THE FUCK #DONT JUST DROP SMTH LIKE THAT AND DIP #ARE YOU OKAY?? #ARE YOU TALKING ABT A GAME???
hi! rhanks for the concern! 😁 i am unfortunately not talking about a game lens is actually dead please help me (dms r open 🙏🙏)
#Since I've gotten a lot of followers recently I feel like I should boost this #I'm busy with my own issues but maybe someone else can help?
(5,204 notes)
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⚪ fuckingcircles Follow
i want my SHOW BACK i want my CO HOSTS BACK i want calculatory DEAD i only MILDLY HATE happy star i dont KNOW WHAT ELSE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT
🥝 gela-not-jelly Follow
🫵 Fanny kinnie
⚪ fuckingcircles Follow
who the FUCK is fanny
#im CIRCLE not a goddamn FAN #who even names themselves fanny anyway
(382 notes)
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⚪battleforcircle asked: oml spiderman pointing meme
⚪ fuckingcircles Follow
you sent me this FIFTEEN TIMES get OUT of my ASKBOX!!!!
📉 storyboard-but-better Follow
why are there two of you...
⚪ fuckingcircles Follow
theres only ONE of me i dont know who this IS!!
⚪battleforcircle Follow
theres three of us just three of us
#idk why either tbh #tumblr just recommended his acc to me one day #he seems fun to annoy tho so ive taken it upon myself to do so #tee hee
(89 notes)
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📶 she-walkie-on-my-talkie-till Follow
Hey so why is a known criminal on Tumblr?
📶 she-walkie-on-my-talkie-till Follow
Hello???
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changbinsboobs · 2 months ago
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Who is more into commoners vs idols/celebs?
Skz limiting beliefs
Can you do these in between husband series?
Ugh those guys just can't give a straight answer🙄💀
Who in Skz is more into celebs/commoners?
Chan: not a definitive answer, rather he says when the chemistry's there its there, doesn't really matter what the person is. Although i believe thats what he would say but how it actually is, is that he prefers having someone thats equal to him in the sense that they're both are on the same mental&emotional level. So thats a pretty big indicator for me that for serious stuff he probably leans towards celebs cuz they share a similar lifestyle and understanding of that life.
Lee know: bro just said none💀😂 although when i look past that there's a heavy commoner energy. It just feels simple. Theres no better word to describe the feeling. So i guess he's someone that appreciates simplicity in relationships especially and by logic commoners are simpler than idols or celebs.
Changbin: my guy tells me he likes people who reject him🥲🤡 he likes chasing after something he can't have. I had to pull 3 cards for him cuz bro kept repeating the same thing in each one. Idk guys, i guess he doesn't have a preference or if he does his need to chase and be rejected and wallow in his own tears and despair is way higher on his priority list when looking for a partner than if the person is famous or not🙃
Hyunjin: ehm so...he has had a pretty bad experience with someone so he's shaken in his preference. Idk which one it is tho. Once ahain clarification cards aren't of any help🥲 after long, long, long shuffling i finally got a card which gives me groups & peers vibe so maybe he tried something with a person from his circles and it wasn't good at all so now he's confused as to if he should remain open to idols or not. That being said, my guess is that for now he's keeping it low and kind of in the middle. Maybe not dating complete commoners, but also not celebs, maybe he's oriented himself towards influencers or something of that sort.
Han: Def commoners. He needs to be the star, to be admired, to get lots of attention and having many hypemans. Among other celebs he would be just one among many, but among commoners he's a star. And he lives that. So his choice in partners also def reflects that.
Felix: he likes a good variety. A bit of everything. So i think he may not habe a solid preference but rather be in the mood for this today, and net week in the mood for the other. Yk. For now his new "mood" is wise people. I think he's really into that - people who see through others shit, who cant be fooled easily, who can teach him a lot and have a "godly aura".
Seungmin: he likes celebs, well mannared and pretty. Also may not necessarily be entertainment celebs like idols. Could be actors, ceos, owners of something, just affluent people with status, means, manners and just overall are a "good, valueable contribution to society".
I.N: so either he's saying he likes heartbreakers or that he's a heartbreaker. Boy what?! Ok i think a commoner may have broken his heart so now he's gotten cold towards them or something. Maybe he wants to repay now in ignoring "them" and focusing and considering only options that are more affluent.
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420technoblazeit · 25 days ago
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do u think either viktor or mel are any good at cooking... u mentioned the sims room having spices and while i think viktor and mel understand cooking in theory and Would Add Spices i dont know how much theyve done it in practice... viktor knows chemistry from singed and his own work im sure which is a similar skillset but i cant imagine him ever cooking for himself (before the events of this AU) beyond stock basic low effort meals to get through the week.. and mel i dont think would be comically bad at it necessarily (cuz idk i just think its an overplayed trope and mel is all about how she is actually quite grounded and careful despite her outwardly fancy exterior- thinking abt the sequence of her mixing her own paints with her own hands) but i think she would have even less experience with it in practicality than viktor since its always been something provided for her...
i just am imagining mel buying spices she knows she likes and viktor advocating for filling starches that go a long way and dont go bad quickly and are easy on the stomach (Viktor lost so much weight while ill i cant imagine he was eating that well) and then the two of them both having such different experiences with food- wanting for it, never wanting for it- and both ending up with the same condition of Constantly Forgetting They Should Eat because of it... but both being so empathetic they notice the Other is forgetting to eat. ugh i love narrative foils
that ask got rlly long but btw i think jayce would love to cook (when he has time for it outside of the lab) i think he would be so happy watching his loved ones eat the food he made. some hobbies can be stress relief (i think this is the forge for jayce) and some require some more energy summoned to put into them and i feel like cooking would be more like that for jayce- something reminding him of his childhood and parents (before Everything), something he doesnt do all the time for fun but makes him really happy when he does do it
oh no i think they're Dogshit at it. to be clear. mel grew up filthy rich and in my mind viktor only ever eats the plainest easiest to cook meals unless jayce cooks him something. he probably has like. oatmeal every day and whatever the piltover equivalent of instant ramen is. my headcanon for the spice rack is actually very close to yours, i think mel picked it up from the market one day because she wanted to get better at cooking. i think she's very out of her comfort zone now that they're more or less on the run so she buys it and at first viktor wrinkles his nose and is like this is an unnecessary expense we should be focusing on other things. but maybe he misses when jayce cooked for him and eventually he gets really into it. maybe TOO into it bc now he's making the most ridiculous spice combinations you've ever seen and it's a disaster half the time but hey it's part of the process and at least he's having fun. i think they deserve to be a little bad at something relatively low stakes together. ty for this ask btw im so glad you like the au so much!!! :}
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fairycosmos · 23 days ago
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i keep thinking abt ur rant post, i guess cause you mentioned your sister. i dont know how to word this and i dont really know you but you seem like youre taking her love with you wherever you go. iit probably is hell to have to claw your way through today without her but i think youre doing really good living for her. and again i dont know how to properly convey this but i see her traces, her love in you i dont know either of you but i have a sister and although she lives halfway across the world she s such a big part of me, and although a part of you might have died with her a part of her lives on with you. thats a little what it feels like when my sister is so far away and in a different time zone but yeah. im so sorry if this is overreaching or me acting insane i cant always tell im just a little sick of people being cut apart because of having to work to the bone for billionaires who don't give a fuck about anyone and etc idk. have a lovely day, if not today then tomorrow.
❤️ this was honestly so comforting to read, thank you so much for the kind words and for being so understanding about the never ending complexities of grief. it honestly is hell without her like i say it all the time but genuinely nothing feels real, feels like life stopped when she died and everything else has been some weird trip. i think it’s why i have to be distracted all the time bc i can hardly manage to think about it. but yeagh she really shaped me in the most fundamental way to be honest and so much of how i learned to be a person came from her. i wish i could do more to help her memory live on and make some grand gesture or art inspired by her but i think really she lives on through our small similarities and the values she passed onto me. it doesn’t feel like enough but it is what it is. UGH sorry to ramble lmao once i get started talking about her i could go on forever. i hope you know how much i deeply appreciate your msg 💗 it’s good to know other ppl get it all on multiple levels. i hope you have a lovely day too x
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weebsinstash · 2 years ago
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Okay but AU where Miguel is an alpha and reader is normal but they still give off the smell of being in heat before their period or just once a month so poor Miguel has to struggle with an oblivious reader whose just going around saying hi to people like they’re not a walking talking advertisement for sex
Reader: what do you mean 'I probably shouldn't go near Miguel right now? I thought he looked like he had a headache earlier so I got him some of those empanadas he likes from the cafeteria and some migraine tea
Peter B, not sure how he can tell you without sounding like an absolute freak that his friend is an Alpha and can smell that you're ovulating right now and if you go near Miguel when you're like this you could end up pregnant: beeeeecaaaussssse, Mayday misses you! Yeah, come hold my baby and come this way and hang with us and definitely NOT to Miguel's office!
(Lmao Miguel just checking security feeds by coincidence and, ugh, double whammy combo, he sees you holding the baby, in his eyes looking like the CUTEST potential mom, and he's just like "well, if she gets pregnant it's God's will 🙏". 'Poke holes in the condoms' girl he doesnt OWN condoms and he tells you up front, on his shit like "we're married, this is what married couples do". Or it's like. Kinda like with superman lol, where Miguel's altered not completely human DNA skirts around the spermacide in condoms that's formulated for humans so he might knock you up unintentionally but once it's on the way he wont let you get rid of it and he's actually so excited)
He overhears another Alpha make comments on your body and your scent and you just turn your head to see Miguel holding them by the collar as their little feeties dangle in the air and he's growling at them to "watch who they're speaking about that way" and you're just left ignorant that he's basically strangling the dude cause he was saying the equivalent of "if Y/N doesn't watch out she's gonna end up knocked up" and "hey maybe it'll be me" (no, absolutely not, run laps cadet, the boss ain't happy with ya)
And it works in reverse too! He smells good and you definitely cant help but notice 😩❤️ He stands just a little too close to you one day and you can smell this kind of masculine musk, I feel like he's kind of like too lowkey a recluse holing himself up to wear men's cologne but he's also like kind of an older man so just like, the thought of him having the scented pomade for his hair and you smell things like his deodorant and body wash when he's too close and it all smells very much you know Male but in a sexy way, the scent of aftershave sticking to him some mornings, coffee on his breath when he points to something on a monitor over your shoulder, just all these sorts of smells to associate with his presence even if you can't pick up the intricacies of his more "biological" components. You're up working late once and you fall asleep in a chair and later on you wake up tucked in on a couch in a break room with a blanket that has a scent on it (to tell other Alphas to back off and let you rest) and you can't help but put your face into it. like, as a young girl I didn't understand but I'm 26 now and there are just some male colognes and just like idk scents where you smell it and it's just like UGH I bet the man who left this is big 😩❤️ if it's not overpowering and you're not used to smelling "dude scents" that shit can be dangerous in the wrong hands
You experience the rare event of Miguel actually sitting down for once (shocking I know) and your desire to help and also your coochie activates when you see him looking kind of tired and run down and like, rubbing his face with a hand and he's got a migraine and here you are, "let me platonically rub your shoulders sir it definitely isn't at least partially because I'm crazy crazy horny for you and something about you kinda lowkey makes me wanna serve you"
Like you reach out and start rubbing his neck and shoulders and he's just so sore and had been working so hard he's like GROANING and shit like 😩 how could I not run my fingers through his hair, how could I SURVIVE if he started doing that shit. I couldn't, he felt your nails lightly drag against his scalp and it sent shivers up his spine and now you're getting your back put on the nearest flat surface while he pulls all your clothes off
"Sorry, but I don't think I can hold myself back anymore."
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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#ugh. the fucking struggle of a thing i will not talk about. its just an off shoot of one of my many#obessive compulsive tendencies. it just makes me think of my dad. like hes also a fucking anxious person but hes like. i have the thoughts#but then i dont let them control me so its not an issue. and he knos i get caught up on the structure and identification of problems so#hes always like. its only an issue if its like ruining ur life. and hes right and i definitely meet the standards of both of those things#bc im fucking thinking abt these things constantly. its in my head literally all the time. every second of the day#and i mean i guess this specific thing isnt ruining my life but it certainly isnt helpful and in combo with everything else my quality of#life is not what it could b. idk it just feels all empty which is y i became a fucking workaholic#bc i just get so fucking bored stuck in these stupid patterns that at least i can make myseld useful as i drive myself nuts#it also doesnt help that im still trying to unfuck my leg and not being very successful bc theres this fucking voice in my head like#keep moving. u cant sit down. walk around. dont stop. dont stop. dont stop. i can feel the muscles getting irritated again#its unbearable bc it doesn't really even hurt. i just kno im fucking it up for myself and i have all this excess energy that i cant get rid#of bc i cant run. anyway its just irritating#i probably triggered myself by watching the bear all day lol. its so good but it reminds me of working in a shitty banquet hall when my#brain was on fire. and theyve got that toxic workahoism that i so desperately cling to. and in a weird way i can relate tho their fucked#up mom when everyones just trying to help but shes so fixated on this thing that's clearly causing her distress but shes just screaming at#them. like i mean i have insight into my issues and i try not to let them affect anyone but me but its so hard when its like. i have to do#this thing. i have to do it. i kno its bad. i kno its fucked up but shut the fuck up and let me do this. u dont fucking understand#but i wouldn't say that bc i kno its irrational. ugh. i also have to go to a lab dinner tomorrow. maybe#no time has been listed so idk. its for my leaving so im technically the focus. hate that for me. whatever. itll b fine#at least the place is within walking distance and its like less than 3 weeks until i leave#unrelated
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