#it negatively affects me if i put it off for too long cause this shit takes practice i havent been in class for over a month im gonna suck

[sweetmage]

For writing DA2 Anders (this got long I'm sorry):

It's important to remember that with DA2 Anders, he's not just Anders. While I'm of the opinion that Justice should still be counted as a separate entity than Anders, they're in each other's brains, feeling each other's feelings, thinking each other's thoughts, essentially. Look at Awakening Anders and Justice's dialogue (when they're separated). Then look at DA2 Anders' dialogue - yes, it's very similar to how he is in Awakening, but there's one or two lines where Justice's manner of speaking leaks in: not using a contraction where Anders pre-merge may have, for example. See at the Bone Pit: "Generations of slaves died in that mine. I can still hear their cries for justice." It sounds like a very Justice remark to me.

Anders in DA2 is also a lot less likely to deflect with humour. He's not here to be likeable, he doesn't rely on being likeable for his own safety like he did in Awakening. If he's being funny or charming, that's all just him in DA2. This also means he's a lot more likely to be a petty, argumentative bitch. He's also not the most tactful person ever. With Justice, he feels safe enough to be an ass, he feels safe enough to have people dislike him. As a bit of a contrast to this, he's also fundamentally the kindest of the DA2 companions. He's a man of contradictions lmao. His sense of humour is also dorky as shit when it is used.

He also VERY rarely makes his points about mage rights personal to him. It's always about other mages, what he's SEEN happen rather than what has happened TO HIM. In Awakening, he mentions his time in solitary, he mentions that he was kicked in the head to wake him up - though he does brush off those experiences with jokes. In DA2, Anders never mentions what happened to him. He outright contradicts things he said in Awakening with Sebastian by saying that he was never beaten, and I personally put that up to him not wanting to be that vulnerable - it's about the cause, it's about the principle of the thing. I think to him, if he made it about abuses he was personally subject to it would diminish his arguments.

In terms of romance, he's all in, 100%, no holding back. He loved Karl, he tried to keep that love on the low down, and Karl still died because of it - ergo, Anders is sick of hiding. He's dramatic and devoted because he knows what it's like to lose someone and never be able to tell them how he really feels. While he will always put his cause before a partner, there's not much else that comes before them, if that makes sense. "You are the most important thing in my life - but some things are more important than my life" etc etc.

Last point - he's a still a slut. I say this with the utmost affection. While he's not outwardly hitting on other companions like he was in Awakening (he's busy, and I think his self esteem has taken a hit), he still throws innuendo around, and he obviously doesn't care if other people are there when he describes his damsel-in-distress kink to Hawke in depth in MoTA.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!! I would love to put a ring on this informative response and marry it. Some others have mentioned in the reblogs and elsewhere that they also struggle with writing him so hopefully this will be of use to them too! I will put my more specific thank you's under the cut since it's long ^^

The very first section is SUPER helpful! I think that certainly was part of what was tripping me up when I went to study certain scenes, especially those with heightened negative emotions (which are most relevant to my current WIP). My biggest struggle thus far has been nailing down his cadance, level of formality, what sort of words he tends to use, etc. and, as such, studying high-emotion scenes where Justice's style of speaking is more likely to emerge really muddied my ability to study him. Though I have seen clips and I know how Anders's story plays out in it, I haven't actually played Awakening yet (should be in a few days when I finish DAO!) but I don't mind the spoilers so I'll be sure to go ahead now and watch some more clips to nail down their respective voices! :D Honestly, I think doing so will solve at least 85% of my problems lol. Additionally, thank you especially for this portion too:

He also VERY rarely makes his points about mage rights personal to him.

That helped me solve another issue I didn't even realize I was having. I kind of subconsciously picked up on this I suppose (I never had him make it about himself or just the people he personally knows in my current WIP) but this helped me to go back and place extra emphasis on those lines which really helped build the mood and tone. The romance portion I feel lines up with a very big theme/conflict in my current WIP so it is so nice to have a reference written out like that that I can refer back to! :) And of course, his kinkiness will certainly find a place among my other fics lol 😌

Thank you again for taking the time to write this out for me! I have always struggled with subtext, analyzing characters, etc. Even when I pick up on things subconsciously I cannot for the life of me put words to them or identify them well enough to go and do further study/implement them elsewhere so having this all written out helps A TON! 💗

[silver-wield]

"iconic death scene" 😂. I'm a 2010's baby and since I'm from the future been seeing actually incredible death scenes from jojo bizzare , one piece, marley and me, heck the Adam sandler movie click 😂. Her death didn't flinch me despite not knowing what's up. A good death scene will still affect you even if you know what's up anyway. In short this is lame. If a character is only "revered" because of a gimmick and timing (back then this is like a big deal but nah, not anymore. Old fire emblem permanent deaths of characters affect me more tho haha) and not because of the character, then what are they really. And because she's so empty, her fans cope and call her all these good kind of things, like she's "independent", "mature", "kind", "selfless", etc. I'm sorry but no. They better stop coping then maybe she'll actually be written well. People complained about tifa, cloud and zack, even barret and yuffie, lool where they are.

I'm AC era so this bitch was long dead before I showed up and the 2s shot in AC did nothing to me. I didn't even know who she was in the film but she came off as Cloud's little sister, and Istg when I played og after, although only a bit cause the graphics are arse compared to new games, so I didn't play it properly until after Remake, I genuinely thought aerith was some 12 yr old girl in a big puffa coat. I guess I got it in my head she was a kid, and the voice in AC didn't really kill that assumption. Tbf she still sounds and acts like a kid in 7R so you never really get the sense she's an adult despite being told she's 22.

Her death in rebirth didn't get me at all. Ff16 got me so bad that I will never get over it. Type-0 I still hate for the ending. Ffx got me. Ff15 got me.

Rebirth didn't. And not because I can't stand aerith. I don't like Jessie either but her death got me the first time I saw it. That whole yoyo alive/dead thing 50 times and then the cringe entrance and rainbow sparkles and shit was just so off putting. It was blown up for drama and failed hard. There was no emotion in that. Cloud's reaction was weird. It was just handled badly.

Aerith shouldn't be called a heroine. She's got too many overblown negative traits that make people wanna punch her. The devs should've woken up to public sentiment before they started on this project.

[thats-amnesty-babe]

Please note that many antipsychotics are known to actually CAUSE type two diabetes in people who take them long-term. It doesn’t have to just be genetic. Diabetes can be medication-induced. It is still just as permanent and lifelong.

I had normal A1C and fasting glucose levels in my yearly blood tests for my entire life before starting Vraylar (a second-generation antipsychotic, which my psychiatrist recommended to me because it had “milder” side effects than many other antipsychotics). Taking 3 mg of Vraylar each day for perhaps a year and a half landed me a full-blown diabetes diagnosis. I actually started tapering off of it (with my psychiatrist’s permission… not that I trust psychiatrists much anymore, anyway) very quickly after I was told about my diabetes diagnosis and then did some cursory googling. Turns out this shit is kind of COMMON KNOWLEDGE. And nobody told me.

Source: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/drugs-vraylar-side-effects

This condition will never go away and will affect my health negatively for the rest of my life — in addition to the mental health effects of being unable to consume sugar without health anxiety.

At NO point did a psychiatrist or my general practitioner doctor I see for regular wellness visits EVER mention that this was a possibility to me. That a long-term health condition could come from taking a medication they prescribed to me. I actually saw two psychiatrists in the time period that I was taking this antipsychotic: the initial prescriber and then a different psychiatrist after I moved to another state. Talk about informed consent…

(Content warning for saneism, which is discrimination against people who are perceived as anything deviating from the average societal standards of being sane of mind… such as experiencing any form of psychosis.)

The wildest thing about this is that I do not technically even have a disabling long-term psychotic disorder! As in, nothing that has psychosis as its primary symptom. The frequency and severity of my psychosis symptoms are extremely correlated with my overall stress levels. I am actually in the best mental health state in my entire life now, and I have not experienced any psychotic symptoms at all for months.

It’s been maybe 9 months since I stopped taking Vraylar, and I’ve had only two days where I experienced ANY psychotic symptoms. I have complex PTSD (among other mental health conditions, which feel a little too personal for me to comfortably share publicly). C-PTSD commonly has mild psychosis as a symptom. With adequate treatment and significant progress toward recovery, the psychosis symptoms can actually go away. For me, they have.

I regularly experienced hallucinations and delusions for the majority of my life, since about the age of eight. With the help of a couple of damn good therapists and a whole lot of personal mental health work, I have learned how to navigate the world in a functional and successful manner, even while tolerating and coping with my psychotic symptoms. Which means… I probably never needed to be on Vraylar to begin with. The psychosis was never disabling, just unpleasant and something I could even ignore most of the time.

But, unfortunately, my psychiatrist was terrified to hear I experienced any amount of psychosis at all. It didn’t matter how much it affected my daily functioning or quality of life, nor how well I was able to emotionally cope with it after years of having those symptoms. She put me on a VERY risky and damaging medication because of saneism. And that cost me so fucking much.

You should always be honest with your doctors, right? Give them the full details and context of your symptoms so they are fully informed before making any healthcare decisions for you. But if you don’t want to take antipsychotics, just DO NOT tell them you have psychosis. I am so serious. I believe that every single person with any amount of psychosis reading this post needs to fully internalize this message. You are in control of what information you give your doctor. Be cautious and intentional about what you share. Decide before the appointment starts whether you will disclose your psychotic symptoms.

Do RESEARCH about antipsychotics and their potential long-term health effects before ever mentioning psychosis to any kind of medical professional. There is a good chance that a doctor (psychiatrist or not!) will prescribe you antipsychotics if they catch even a whiff of psychosis.

If you’re okay with that, then that’s fine — do what is best for your overall health, even if that means prioritizing mental health over physical health. Genuinely, take care of yourself in the way that makes sense for your personal goals of long-term wellness. Some people can learn to live with their psychosis. Some people are too distressed by their psychosis to have a personally acceptable quality of life. Whether or not antipsychotics are the right choice should be entirely up to the individual patient whenever possible. Of course, I do know that there are extreme situations where medical intervention is required, but I do think that most antipsychotic prescriptions would not fall under that category.

If you do spend the time to look up what there is to know about various antipsychotics, weigh the pros and cons, and believe that taking one is genuinely the best choice for you — and of course for some people it is; the drugs were developed for a reason, after all — then at least look at various options and pick out the one that seems the safest.

I desperately wish I could send a message to my younger self to PLEASE thoroughly research ANY new medication I am prescribed BEFORE letting it enter my body AT ALL. I am now so anxious about any new prescription I am given and read all about it immediately after the appointment ends. This was so avoidable, and now I’m stuck with it permanently.

Having psychosis means we have to be careful about who we tell. That is, if it’s a possible choice. I understand that many psychotic people cannot hide it, and there is no shame in that. But if you can hide it, that’s really helpful, because you can decide if it’s worth sharing before actually sharing that information — like to a doctor. When a symptom or diagnosis goes on your medical chart, everyone else who sees that chart (like any other doctors within the same medical system) will know you have that symptom. Having medically documented psychosis can severely affect how seriously doctors will take your future health concerns. Be careful, guys. Be safe.

I saw a comment on your blog that says 'the way you eat does not cause diabetes'...are you able to expand on that or provide a source I could read? I've been told by doctors that my pre-diabetes was due to weight gain because I get more hungry on my anti psychotics and I'd like to fact check what they've told me! Thank you so much!

Pre-diabetes was rejected as a diagnosis by the World Health Organization (although it is used by the US and UK) - the correct term for the condition is impaired glucose tolerance. Approximately 2% of people with "pre-diabetes" go on to develop diabetes per year. You heard that right - TWO PERCENT. Most diabetics actually skip the pre-diabetic phase.

There are currently no treatments for pre-diabetes besides intentional weight loss. (Hmm, that's convenient, right?) There has yet to be evidence that losing weight prevents progression from pre-diabetes to T2DM beyond a year. Interestingly, drug companies are trying to persuade the medical world to start treating patients earlier and earlier. They are using the term “pre-diabetes” to sell their drugs (including Wegovy, a weight-loss drug). Surgeons are using it to sell weight loss surgery. Everyone’s a winner, right? Not patients. Especially fat patients.

Check out these articles:

Prediabetes: The epidemic that never was, and shouldn’t be

The war on ‘prediabetes' could be a boon for pharma—but is it good medicine?

Also - I love what Dr. Asher Larmie @fatdoctorUK has to say about T2DM and insulin resistance, so here's one of their threads I pulled from Twitter:

1️⃣ You can't prevent insulin resistance. It's coded in your DNA. It may be impacted by your environment. Studies have shown it has nothing to do with your BMI.

2️⃣ The term "pre-diabetes" is a PR stunt. The correct term is impaired glucose tolerance (or impaired fasting glucose) which is sometimes referred to as intermittent hyperglycemia. It does not predict T2DM. It is best ignored and tested for every 3-5yrs.

3️⃣ there is no evidence that losing weight prevents diabetes. That's because you can't reverse insulin resistance. You can possibly postpone it by 2yrs? Furthermore there is evidence that those who are fat at the time of diagnosis fair much better than those who are thin.

4️⃣ Weight loss does not reverse diabetes in the VAST majority of people. Those that do reverse it are usually thinner with recent onset T2DM and a low A1c. Only a tiny minority can sustain that over 2yrs. Weight loss does not improve A1c levels beyond 2 yrs either.

5️⃣ Weight loss in T2DM does not improve macrovascular or microvascular health outcomes beyond 2 years. In fact, weight loss in diabetics is associated with increased mortality and morbidity (although it is not clear why). Weight cycling is known to impacts A1c levels.

6️⃣ Weight GAIN does NOT increase the risk of cardiovascular OR all causes mortality in diabetics. In fact, one might even go so far as to say that it's better to be fat and diabetic than to be thin and diabetic.

Dr. Larmie cites 18 peer reviewed journal articles (most from the last decade) that are included in their webinar on the subject, linked below.

[thedarkmistress16]

please gush about your passions and pastimes!!! I would love to hear about them

ack- im happy you want to hear about them!

Passions:

obvs as y'all know recently and just in gen., i guess, writing- i love crafting worlds and stories where anything can happen and just creating scenes above all else, like getting lost in the details of everything. I love getting lost in my own world and making myself happy as most self-indulgent writers do (and showing off my legitimate skill in a proper form of writing after doing shitpost-y things for so long is pretty rejuvenating, XD). And upon going back to some of my older, posted works and wips, I still laugh at the dumb shit I thought was the best stuff ever and now find myself giving those ideas a refresher like my last writing update, because it's still a legitimately enjoyable read.

i love sketching for similar reasons, but more so to visualize a fuzzy, almost-there idea, usually about fashion. Like recently I re-drafted some outfits for a fic idea I had, in order to make the world and designs make sense in my head. And I redesigned an existing outfit, running with certain themes and embellishments in design. I'm so happy I can churn out simple sketches like that when i really put my mind to it and feel content with the finished product nowadays. I feel accomplished as a hobby artist now and it's all thanks to heavy online research, a few how-to books, and putting effort into one art class. It's the second hobby of mine that I want to be good at, almost as much as my writing. Speaking of, I sometimes draw what I write or dream about because it's that prominent in my head.

Wow i love music guys- ha, but you already knew that *lenny face*

Past times:

I really like playing the simpler games in life- not as much in the vein of it being less difficult or busy, but more so with fewer controls, interesting mechanics, and a captivating style that I can easily fuck around in or beat some levels for a few hours. Bring on the (spider) solitare (only 4 suit sucks ass why do i do this to myself), jewel quest (FUCK YOU CROWS), barbie's fashion show (SINGLE DREAM-), zoo tycoon (fuck guest happiness), and sonic adventure or x-men of course.

MMD vids are v neat, like I know a handful of choreos that are fun as past midnight exercises to get my blood pumping and i get to discover new songs and learn more about other languages at the same time! Also the aph as mmd crack vids are the best whether its them making 'i hate this' or 'yeah im hot shit' faces or being completely into it as they're forced to dance or simply copying a vine. Like, they give me brainrot and serotonin at the same time its so fun. I love seeing all the different outfits for mmd vids in general, too, on top of new covers i never would've known about.

I really love analyzing things in general, actually. It's how I learn most of the things I do and know now, even though it technically causes me to lose large chunks of time because all i'm doing is staring at the damn thing, XD. Sometimes (all the time) I'll look at a gif or vid of a character changing their facial expression as they do/say something and I'll be completely enthralled by it. Something similar happens when I stare at REALLY GOOD artwork. I think it's the technical part of my brain trying to figure out the individual elements which make up whatever that thing is, like what facial muscles are being used to convey that emotion or mix of them, what the character is feeling, how the lighting or shading of the environment or extra details in editing affects said expression, etc. And for art, I'm thinking of the lines, posture, composition, object placement, color palette, negative space, tone, and all that jazz you learn from studying art.

Scrapbooking is a fun pastime for me that's extended from celebratory cards to actual gifts to my personal sketchbooks. It's part of the "creating something out of nothing/seeing what you can create with some basic templates and decorations" kind of mindset. And it makes me happy because I get to be creative and my family members and friends (even my employer) love them as part of their gifts every time and come to expect it from me each holiday, so I'm constantly encouraged to do it in the best way. I've recently kinda gone overboard on using ribbons and charms for the spiral and stickers and washi tape for the actual book itself on my sketchbooks, but I find myself wanting to draw in it more because I did that, lol.

I love rewatching the things I love. I usually have the same commentary about it, but its nonetheless enjoyable. And I never know what new thing I'll discover about it next, even if i've seen it over 50 times and only have it on as background noise and don't actually watch it. And yes, I will easily let something play on repeat at least that many times in my lifespan as well (like, a full day of it, at least).

wow i love staring at characters im attracted to for hours on end can i get a HUYEA-

[sergeantbuckybarnes]

the little things // eddie munson

Summary: Eddie wants to give the next step in your relationship but you are not ready yet.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: insecurities, mentions of sex, virgin!reader, mentions of past jerk exes, maybe a little too cheesy speech from eddie at the end but deal with it.

A/N: As always, please remember English is not my first language. Thanks to @coffee-jelly544​ for proofreading this.

main masterlist

Eddie Munson considered himself to be a fairly self-assured individual. It wasn't in a cocky, superior way like Jason Carver and his minions, but more of a, “I don’t give a shit what you think about me,” kind of way. Perhaps that's what drew you towards him in the first place.

Eddie was unlike any of the other guys you liked and dated in the past. He was unconcerned with labels or stereotypes. Eddie had his own category to fit into, which was one of the many qualities you admired in him.

Eddie was confident at school, even when jocks mocked them.

Eddie was confident while playing D&D with the rest of the Hellfire Club.

Eddie was confident playing with Corroded Coffin in The Hideout on Tuesdays.

However, Eddie lacked confidence in your presence.

Somehow he couldn't bring himself to believe he'd be able to snatch you. In his opinion, you were way out of his league and you could do much better than him. Nonetheless, he was content, and he would do everything in his power to keep you around as long as possible. Hopefully, forever.

Yeah, that’s a kind of life Eddie wouldn’t complain about.

Even so, he can't seem to get rid of the voice in the back of his head that warns him that something is wrong. That motherfucker wouldn't shut up no matter how hard he tried.

The thing is, you've been dating for quite some time. Six months, two days, seven hours, thirteen minutes, and fifty-two seconds, if you asked Eddie. It’s not like he was counting or anything. The guy just liked to give people straight facts when asked, but what was bothering Eddie was how, during that time, every time he tried to get somewhat intimate with you, you either pulled away or came up with a lame excuse.

Now, Eddie may be doing his senior year for third time but he ain’t stupid; he knew something was wrong, but he had convinced himself that you would tell him when you were ready. He wasn't going to put any pressure on you. So he waited. And waited. And you never came to talk to him; instead, you kept brushing off every touch of affection that could lead to something more.

This caused Eddie to feel insecure and think you find him repulsive. That you were fine with kissing, holding hands and hugging, but that the mere thought of you underneath —or on top of— him disgusted you. Why else would you keep him at arm's length?

“Why do you keep pushing me away?”

That was it. If you weren't going to bring it up, he would. Eddie couldn't keep the act up any longer, even if he dreaded the answer you were holding.

Your puzzled expression indicated that you had no idea what he was talking about. “Every time I attempt—“ How could he have phrased it without sounding like a jerk? “Is there any reason why you don’t want to have sex with me?” he blurted the words out.

You were taken aback by the rash question, but you knew Eddie would eventually confront you about your strange behavior.

“Are you not attracted to me in that way? Or maybe you don’t think I can—”

“I’m a virgin,” you said so softly and quietly that you questioned whether your boyfriend could hear you.

“What?”

You took a deep breath, raised your gaze, and repeated, a little louder this time, “I’m a virgin.”

Eddie appeared perplexed, as if he was expecting a different response. You weren't sure whether his reaction was positive or negative, but the silence began to bother you.

“Eddie?” Your sheepish voice jolted him out of his reverie.

“Sorry, I… I was not expecting that.”

“Look, I get it. If this is something that it bothers you I—”

He interrupted you before you could finish your sentence. “Who said it bothered me?”

You shrugged. “You weren’t saying anything. That’s not something you usually do.”

Eddie chuckled at your reasoning. “Sorry, darling. I just… for the last couple months I thought I was the problem and I- it just never occurred to me that you-”

You couldn’t help but laugh. It certainly helped to relieve your body's tension. Watching Eddie struggle with his words was endearing, and it warmed your heart that he was trying to avoid offending you. Even so, it broke your heart that your actions had made him doubt himself.

“I’m sorry, Eddie. The last thing I wanted was to hurt you.”

He appreciated your apology, but he didn't require it. This was about you, not about him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was scared.”

“Of what?”

“You leaving me.”

You loved Eddie and didn't want to lose him, especially not over this, but you knew it was an important subject for some guys. You haven't dated much, only two guys before Eddie, and neither of them lasted. Your relationship with Eddie was the longest of the three.

However, all of them had one thing in common— the reason for the break up.

When you told the first one, he was fine with it; in fact, he even commented on how amazing it was that he would be your first— an obvious red flag now that you think about it, but as soon as you told him you weren't ready, he dumped your ass. Barking out how much a waste of his time you were.

The second had a completely different reaction; he simply told you how you were going to end up alone, claiming that no man wanted an inexperienced woman. He also told you how pathetic you were before leaving.

As a result of those traumatic experiences, you were concerned about the outcome of your relationship with Eddie. You could tell he wasn't like them. Eddie was caring, nice, sweet, and he always put you before anything— sometimes even himself.

“There’s nothing in the world that could make me leave you,” he cupped your face in his hands and forced you to look at him. His brown eyes were filled with nothing but love. “Certainly not this.”

“I know that you want more, but I’m not ready yet.”

“And that’s fine with me.”

You yanked his hands away from your face. “I know you don’t. You are just trying to make me feel better.”

“I had no idea you had powers like your kid friend, you can see through people's emotions now?”

He spoke again after you ignored his comment. “A relationship is more than just sex, y’know?” This drew your attention to him. Your eyes are still filled with apprehension. “When you love someone, you do everything you can to make them feel safe and protected. I never want you to be afraid to tell me anything.”

“Intimacy goes beyond having sex. I don’t need you moaning my name to feel satisfied— I like playing with your hair in bed, and I like it when you fidget with my rings. I love how you ask me to teach you how to play D&D and then get frustrated when you don't understand something, and how we end up making out. I love every little thing about our relationship.”

You weren't sure when the tears started to fall from your eyes, but by this point in Eddie's speech, your eyes were blurry and your cheeks were soaked. You didn't bother wiping them, too focused on your boyfriend's words and didn't want to miss anything he said.

“I love you, Y/N,” he wiped your tears away, cupping your face and pulling you closer to him. “And if it were necessary, I would wait an eternity for you.”

You had no idea what you had done to deserve Eddie, but you felt very fortunate to have him in your life. You promised yourself that you would never let this man go.

[thefreakymunson]

I see your Eddie Munson x Goth! Reader and I raise you Eddie Munson x Witch! Goth! Reader. Please, I have so many ideas for this- they could meet because the need certain herbs for a spell and Eddie is the only one who sell it. Or or or them giving Eddie a dice set that they put a luck charm on - or every time one of Eddie's dice sets rolls badly, he brings them the dice asking them to cleanse it because there must be something wrong! Too much negativity! (I'm a witch and I just think it'd be so cute to have Eddie come up to their witch partner all sad like 'can you do that cleansing thing to them again? they won't stop rolling nat 1s, and I'm convinced Jason's stupid negative energy affected them' )

I know absolutely nothing about witch craft and didn't want to offend, so I played it safe and kept this short!! If you want more, let me know and I'd be glad to write! <3

“Babe,” You heard the groan as soon as the front door opened, “Where are you? Somethings wrong!”

Immediately, you sprung up from your chair and rushed into the living room to see Eddie sulking through the house with a ill look on his face.

“What do you mean something’s wrong? Are you alright?” You frowned, gripping him by the shoulders and spinning him around, checking him over.

“I’m fine,” he huffed, “But my dice aren’t.”

“Your...dice? Like your actual dice?” You glared up at him.

“Yes!” He said, his eyes wide, “All day long they rolled the lowest numbers imaginable. That’s what took so long. I didn’t even get halfway through the campaign like usual!”

“Edward Munson, you scared the shit out of me.” You breathed a sigh of relief, “I thought something was wrong with you!”

“There is! Hello!” He shouted dramatically, pulling the pouch from his jeans, “If my dice are faulty then that means I’m faulty and I can’t pull off the ending of the Vecna campaign.”

“Eddie-”

“I wrote this campaign for three months,” Eddie said, “I can’t let it flop. I think they’re sick or they’ve caught on some bad energies or just – I dunno. Probably affected by Jason or whatever that pricks name was that slapped them out of my hands the other day.”

“Someone slapped them out of your hands? Who?” You frowned – that was cause for a curse.

“It was either Jason or Patrick I think,” he said as he pulled the milk carton out of the refrigerator and took a drink from it. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and gave you a sad look as he frowned, “Can you clean them again?...like cleanse them with your stuff like you did last time?”

“Baby-”

“Pleaseeeeeee,” he whined, “And then I’ll stop asking you.”

No, he wouldn’t.

“Okay. Okay.” You said with a soft sigh, “Fine. I’ll clean them but keep them safe, yes?”

He grinned at you with a sly look on his face as he nodded, “I like it when you get all instructive, my lady.”

[yoooespinosa]

could you please write a draco x reader fic, where the reader is hopelessly in love with draco, and she's not afraid to show it. but draco doesn't feel the same. and draco being draco, he rejects the reader with no remorse. then when the reader finally comes to the realization that she deserves better, she started seeing new people (not necessarily dating, but more like talking), then that's when draco feels a bit jealous now that the reader isn't all over him anymore. the rest is up to you, love! just something really angsty, you could end it in any way you'd like.

also, sidenote. you're an amazing writer and i love you!!

a/n: Thank you for your request! ily <3

To say you had a crush on Draco Malfoy, was an understatement.

You couldn't help it, you couldn't just stop the feelings you developed every time he came around.

When he walked into the room it was butterflies breaking out of their cage, palms growing sweaty and your heart racing so fast you were scared you'd be able to see its indentions.

It was scary at first, to have such feelings at only thirteen years old. So you did your best to ignore them. You did your best to stay out of his way.

That only worked for so long.

When you are friends with Draco and the people that surround him, it becomes very hard to stay out of his path.

So it was only inevitable that your crush on him would become so much more. Especially as the years went on.

He hadn't made it much easier. Sometimes you felt as if, maybe, he returned your feelings. How could you think otherwise? With the way he walked with you to class, carried your books at times and spent time with you. Just you. Alone.

How could you not fall in love with him.

With all that simmering in you, you finally let it out. You made your affections obvious, not afraid to show Draco how you felt for him. You had thought it was welcomed. You thought that the feelings would be returned.

It seemed as though he could only tolerate you for so long. Yes, that was the right word for it, the only thing he had for you was toleration.

Your shoes sounded on the stone under you, on your way to the Slytherin common room. You had just got out of detention with professor Snape. You suppose it was well deserved, you had seen Draco almost put the wrong ingredient in his potion, so you being you had wandered to his table and helped him, much to Snapes dismay.

Whispering the password, you made your way through the dim passage. Chattering of people from all years and faint laughter was heard all around.

You spotted your friends right away, seated by the green flamed fireplace, as usual.

"She just can't take a hint." You heard Draco grumble, you paused your steps, you didn't mean to eavesdrop but it seemed as if your feet had a mind of its own.

"Wait," Blaise closes the book he had in his hold. "who are we talking about again?"

Pansy sighs, seeming they had been on the topic for some time. "We're talking about y/n."

Your brows furrow. Going back to the first thing you heard Draco say, she just can't take a hint, what was that supposed to mean. What hint?

"Why can't you just tell her how you feel?" Theo adds, his voice is laced with annoyance, maybe this isn't the first time they've talked about this.

"I thought how I felt would be obvious enough, without having to say anything." He huffs.

"Well," Theo sighs. "apparently not."

You were becoming anxious. What were they talking about and what exactly was Draco feeling? There was streak of hope in you, maybe he'd confess right here that he felt the same.

"What do you suggest I say then, oh-wise-one?" Draco asks teasingly.

"Easy, just say exactly what you tell us." He clears his throat dramatically, adopting a mock version of his voice, "Y/n, you have to be one of the most annoying girls, I have ever had the dissatisfaction of meeting. Please, oh please take the hint and leave me alone because these attempts at getting at me are getting more pathetic each time." He finishes with a clumsy curtsy.

The other Slytherins try to stifle their laughs.

You hadn't even noticed the gasp that escaped your throat until four heads turned to your direction.

"Y/n, I didn't kn-" You cut of Theo's words and apologetic stare.

"Is that true?" You ask Draco, your voice low, laced with hurt. Your nose was stinging and your bottom lip hung heavy, but you refused to cry in front of them. You wouldn't give them another weakness to laugh about.

Draco managed to keep his face blank, no emotions shining through. He shrugged, "Pretty much summed it up."

You almost flinched. He didn't even care about the hurt those words brought you.

You left without a look back. Leaving behind your friends call of your name. They weren't the ones you wanted an apology from. They had known how much you felt for him and didn't even bother telling you that it was definitely not mutual. They even laughed, like it was a joke, like your heart was a comedic topic.

The cold air hit your face, freezing against the tear stain tracks. You sat on a lone stone bench in the court yard, letting those tears make a home on your cheeks.

It wasn't obvious--his dislike to you. If it was, you would have gave up long ago. But a part of you felt that there was hope and you had chased after that.

Why couldn't he have just told you when you first let your affections known, it seemed that he had encouraged it back then, with lingering touches and soft smiles.

Looking back now, you notice that those advantages had slowly disappeared. You had been too caught up in his silky hair, those gray eyes filled with mirth and mischief, his angular face with high bones that no one could compare to, that you hadn't notice everything was unrequited.

A sick part of you even felt honored to have your heart broken in the hold of his beautiful hands, the part that saw him do no wrong.

Maybe that was the first problem, you put him on a pedestal, so high up you weren't able to see anything negative of him. You weren't able to see his cruel reality of his feelings towards you.

And he didn't even seem sorry. He didn't even look bothered by the damage of his words.

You were so nice and considerate to him. You would support him at every quidditch game, cheer the loudest even when he lost. You bought him presents for every one of his birthdays and even Christmas, each one sentimental and thoughtful. You had comforted him when he got those letters, that he despised, from his father. You had voiced encouragements when he showed a little tell sign of his insecurities. You had been there for him.

And he treats you like this, like you can be so easily dismissed. You didn't deserve that, you didn't deserve to be called pathetic for having normal feelings and then being laughed at for it.

The longer you sat on that cold bench, the angrier you got. A bitter feeling growing in your stomach, melting away those knots.

You wasted all this time and effort on some guy who didn't even deserve it, some guy who didn't appreciate you. It wasn't fair.

"Hey, you okay?" A familiar voice sounded through your revelations.

You looked up and met green eyes framed with circular glasses.

"Yeah. I was just thinking." You mumbled, the bitter taste was stuck on your tongue, you wanted rid of it.

"Mind if I sit and think with you?" Harry asked, he was nervously scratching the back of his neck, smiling warmly at you.

You offered him a smile, welcoming his genuineness. "Go ahead."

He sat there with you for hours. Surrounded by the sound of wind. It was nice and comfortable. The bitter feeling leaving you completely. You were content now, even if you could still feel the ache in your arms from holding onto Draco for so long.

Weeks had passed. Weeks of no signs of you. The first week Draco hadn't been worried, a little curious, but that was all. The longer it went on though, he became a little more than curious. Not because he cared, cause he didn't, just that if something happened to you, it would be his fault. His rejection was the reason you ran off like a fool to who knows where.

Which is the only reason he went looking for you. He already got a lot of shit from the others, he didn't need more problems stacking up.

He checked all of your favorite places. Starting with that tree down by the black lake that you enjoyed to lean on and watch the sun go down, the sunset wasn't near so he should've known you would not have been there.

He then went to the gardens, there was a bench there that was next to a small pond. It was filled with odd creatures and was home to your favorite flowers, lotus's. You weren't there either.

Lastly, he went to a certain abandoned hall. You had to be there. You went there to be alone with your thoughts, you had taken him with you there a few times. There was a big window there with a thick ledge, streams of sunlight beamed through and tiny rainbows would reflect on the opposite wall due to the cracks on said window.

He heard you before he saw you. A soft laugh reverberating through the empty hall, a laugh he had always found annoying. Hearing it now though, just made him want to get closer to you.

So he did, walking with light footsteps. He froze, you were not alone. Sitting there in the space he once accompanied, was Harry fucking Potter. What kind of sick joke was this?

Why were you sitting with him? And does that mean you just laughed at something he said?

Your laugh sounded through again, once piercing now melodic. It was a bitter feeling, Potter shouldn't have the honor of dragging that sound out of you, he shouldn't even witness it.

Draco left the hall before either of you saw him, he needed to get himself in check.

More weeks passed. Weeks of you hanging out with Potter. You were doing things with him that you had done with Draco.

It was on purpose, you had to be doing it on purpose. You were simply trying to make him jealous and it was annoyingly working.

But how could you be doing that when you didn't even look back to see a reaction.

Draco didn't know what to think. He didn't even know what to feel, or more like let himself feel. Something had changed in the weeks you were away from him.

A revelation of sorts. He missed you. Missed what you would do for him. He regretted what he said and what he never had the chance to say. Because maybe deep down those feelings had been returned, but he was just too stubborn to show.

And now he's seeing you realizing that you deserve more than blurred lines and assumptions. And he's realizing maybe Potter is that more that you deserve.

Draco doesn't like that one bit, he can't even stomach the thought. So he promises to himself that he will do everything in his power to win you back. Even if that means saying that he was sorry and admitting that he was in the wrong, something he's never had to do before.

But if that makes you his again and gets you away from Potter, then its worth it.

Part 2

[lunarifie]

Rewatching Ninjago

(With no context other than the episode)

Hands of Time 1-2

Ah yes, a Wu-doesnt-tell-them-shit season

Oh wait!

Thats every season.

COLES HUMAN AGAIN????

HES NOT A GHOST?!?!?!?

WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN

Why does ninjago give us such little context clues. First ronin now this??!?!?

Okay, did some google searching. And the whole goddamn movie Day of the Departed isn’t on Netflix?!?!?!?!

Brb gonna watch it.

For anyone who doesnt have Tubi or amazon: wcofun.net has Day of the Departed

Alright we’re back, I understand whats going on now.

Nya: If I could go back in time, Id tell Mr Saunder we wouldn’t be able to help with the museum…

Zane: Remember Nya, we went back in time once. Things like that aren’t to be taken lightly

Nya: Its a form of expression Zane 🙄

Fjsnfjdirnfjd such subtle foreshadowing

Nya and Kai immediately retelling the story of their parents after they see a portrait, to remind the audience, is hilarious to me

Mr Saunder, museum guy: Refreshing time! hot sweaty work deserves a cool drink!

Kai: Thanks!

Mr Saunders: Enjoy the pickled beet tea!

Nya, Kai, and Lloyd: (Spit it out coughing)

Cole: …

Cole (drops the cup): Oops…! New hands! So clumsy…

Jay: (shrugs and chugs it)

Wait

Waitwaitwaitwait

Ik who Mr Saunders is IK WHO MR SAUNDERS IS

god I just know im gonna be so confused this season. I never deal with time travel shows well.

Ronin and Dareth are helping Misako carry boxes to the new temple 🥺

Dareth and Ronin gossiping and getting impressed over Nyas samurai X suit is so cute

Dareth (wearing the helmet): look out world! Heres comes Samurai D!!!

Misako and Ronin: …

Dareth: What?

Dareth: …

Dareth: The D is for Dareth.

I wish Wu would fight more, hes genuinely good at it

Misako: Dareth please take that off.

Ronin: Allow- (Weird timey thing happens) me…

Ronin: When did I get on top of Dareth… 🤨

Time went forwards FOR A MINUTE?!?!

Misako: its like deja vu but in reverse…

Thats actually a great way to explain it

Jay freaking out over the loud beeping alarm when it doesn’t seem to affect anyone else is the autistic experience.

Zane: Hmmm… this is surprising.

Jay: No, no its not! Ive always had sensitive ears and—

Zane: I meant-

HES AUTISTIC YOUR HONOR

Jay: Oh! temporal energy, of course, EVERYONE knows thats, uh… powerful!

Kai: You, have no idea what temporal means, do you?

Jay:…

Jay: I do not.

HFBSJBFJSBR

Acronix: Control time, control everything…

I mean hes not wrong

Jay just wants to go home 😭

Jay: UGHHHH theres no one at the old monastery! Zanes probably malfunctioning.

Zane:…

Zane: Self diagnostic says negative

Jay (smacks zane over the head): How about now 😁

Zane: No. 🤨

Jay, after complaining and begging them all to go home: WELL WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??!?!? TO THE OLD MONASTERY!

Wu: I- I made a mistake…

Wu why are you so shocked you make a LOT of mistakes

Lloyd: Jay! What are you doing!

Jay (jumps off destineys bounty): HEY! Hey you! Im looking for someone! Spinjitzu master, this tall, long beard, goes by the name Wu?

Acronix: Cant say ive seen him.

Jay: hm! Thats odd… cause judging by all the slash marks here! I think you have.

That was such good line delivery

The way he way his voice was exaggeratedly high and happy and then his last sentence went down a notch and he brought out his nunchucks.

This is why hes my favorite character

Its nice that Cole has faith in Jay

Too bad hes gonna watch Jay get fucking wiped

Nya (after getting totaled): sometimes I wish I was still samurai x instead of a ninja…

God it hurts so much to be reminded that Nya never truly wanted to be a ninja

Jay: Wait! Who put you in charge! Why cant I help put out the flames?

JAY… BUDDY…

Lloyd: You really think electricity is gonna stop fire?

Jay:…

Jay: good point.

Jay your better than this 😭

Actually. On second thought. Your really not.

Jay (talking about the monastery): burned down again… man this place just cant catch a break can it.

TRUE.

COLE SAVED WU!!!!

Cole. Why are you grabbing him with your lava hands.

Wu: There is so much to tell you…

Yeah no shit.

Misako and Wu: (flirting as she pours him healing tea)

The ninja: 😐

All the ninja: (rapidly asking questions)

Jay: Who ate my pudding cup?!?!?

Everyone:…

Jay: What?… he said we could ask any questions!

Nya and Kais parents cheek bones are high and regal as fuck. Like damn.

Why does EVERY villain feel like theyre entitled in ruling ninjago

Do you know how HARD that is????

To rule a fucking country?!?!?!

Honestly. Yes. The time power Is the most powerful element. But they arent entitled to everything because of it 🤨🤨🤨

I NEED Acronixs hair right now.

God their dynamic is so funny. Can you imagine your biological twin being 40 years older than you 😭😭😭

How did Krux live 40 years in disguise and solitude and not gain the wisdom that came with age. Like my guy did not contemplate his existence AT ALL.

I dont remember but does newer ninjago episodes remove Lloyds rectangle mouth and Wus vacant yellow one?

Please tell me they do.

I NEEEEED a spin off series of Wus and Garmadons early adventures

…

Do they seriously think they actually defeated Acronix. Did it not cross their minds ONCE that he escaped?????

AAAWWWW jay and Nya are so cute now :)

Jays such a flirt he loves her sm 😭

HFNSJBFJD KAI.

Kai (walking in on jay and Nya about to kiss): hey guys- WOAH SORRY TO INTERRUPT IDIDNTSEEANYTHING (covers his eyes)

Kai: Theres something you need to see! (Turns around with his eyes covered and slams into a wall)

I love Kai sm 🥰

Cyrus borg is so great :))))

Zane: if we want to decide who gets to stop this new samurai, i suggest we assign each of ourselves a digit, then manually engage in a cube with graphical representation of each number, go make a random, unbiased selection.

Everyone:

Zane: Roll dice.

HFNDJTBDJFNBR

Zane can just be so funny for literally no reason 😭😭😭

Gayle gossip (news woman): Ive never seen this much destruction before! Well- i mean, i have. But its been a while! And you never really get used to it….

Just another day in ninjago 🙃

Snakes.

Theyre using snakes.

AGAIN.

WHY.

IM SO TIRED OF THESE FUCKING SNAKES USE SOMETHING ELSE GODDAMMIT

Acronix and Krux are true sibling representation.

Kai: Okay! I dont wanna braaag, but the other day I stopped an elemental master of TIME. So i think I can handle a lousy samurai-

Kai: (Gets fucking totaled)

Cole: (uses his lava earth punch thing)

(Samurai Snakes fall apart)

Jay: YOU DISINTEGRATED HIM?!?!?!?

Cole: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!!!!!

Okay but WHERE did Krux find these snakes.

Zane helping out Pixals dad (cyrus borg) is actually so sweet

Awwww I remember this part

Water and electricity stop them!!!!!

WAIT WHAT NO WHAT HAPPENED TO ZANE

Krux: I already have my best blacksmiths on making more armor.

No. It is NOT who I think it is.

Istg they better not have imprisoned Nya and Kais parents.

[gnar-slabdash]

They Tried To Make Me Go To Rehab But Sophie Said Naw Actually It’s No Big Deal

Okay, I’m hyped up on unseasonable sunshine, social anxiety, and decaf lattes, so let’s talk about my favorite thing: Nate’s drinking.

Specifically, what the hell were they trying to do with it from Season Three on?

Disclaimer: This is unnecessarily long, pretty stream of consciousness, and has NO SATISFYING CONCLUSION of any kind. OKAY GO.

So in Season One, things are pretty clear: We know from page one that Nate has a drinking problem, presumably kicked off as a coping mechanism to his son’s death and either because of or a cause of the subsequent collapse of his life. It gets worse as time goes on, and it specifically gets worse when he encounters a trigger, generally a job relating to kids or hospitals. And it is treated, by everyone, as a problem. Sophie in particular attempts to “fix” it. And by the end of the season he’s in a better emotional place and he has some closure in his battle with shit whatsisface you know the IYS guy. You know who I mean. And so, in a move that works great for literature if not so great in real life, those successes equate to being able to put aside the coping mechanism, and when we see him again he’s quit drinking.

That lasts until The Bottle Job, which is fucking brilliant because it’s NOT a literary turning point, it’s just a job that happens to put him in a position where it’s difficult NOT to take a drink. I love this, I love that it shows that this isn’t a problem that can be triumphed over and put away through dramatic moments of character development, it’s a continuing part of life that he has to keep dealing with. And also, we get to see once again that the others TREAT IT AS A PROBLEM (this will be important later). We don’t get to see Sophie try to fix it since she’s away, but we do get to see Tara contrast herself with Sophie when she says she’s NOT interested in fixing it, it’s HIS problem, she’s only concerned about whether it’s gonna fuck up the jobs she’s working on. Which, a) good boundary setting, Tara, I love you, and b) nice way to emphasize Sophie’s position even when Sophie isn’t there. 

And then we enter Season Three. Nate’s in jail for most of the episode and, presumably, sober. At the end, he sits down with Sophie and -- here I’m just gonna give you the lines, copied of course from the When Darkness Falls transcripts, I love you When Darkness Falls, whoever you are:

Nate: I tried being a drunk honest man, a sober thief, so I'm gonna try being a drunk thief, you know? Try that for a little while. You're not going to try to save me, are you? Sophie: You're a thief now. You can save yourself. 

OKAY SO. Here’s what we have to work with going forward in the season: Nate’s decided he doesn’t want to quit drinking, but he DOES leave room to revisit the question in the future. And SOPHIE. SOPHIE FUCKING. SOPHIE DECIDES THAT’S OKAY. Which like. Okay, maybe she had a long talk with Tara and decided it wasn’t on her to save him and she should set some boundaries too? But like. I just. I just don’t believe this. I don’t believe Sophie Devereaux who has been taking bottles straight out of his hand since Episode Two, who’s the one who sat him down in the 12 Step Job for the rawest discussion of the topic the show has ever had, who’s the one who set up the entire David Job as his intervention (well and so she could get her hands on the tiny naked man but still). That Sophie? She’s just gonna keep her hands off the problem now? Hell no. This is absolutely gonna get revisted, there’s no way Sophie’s gonna be able to just leave well enough alone.

But she does.

And from here on to the END of the show, there’s this weird status quo where the show continues to acnowledge that Nate has a drinking problem but ALSO treats it as just. . . not actually a problem anymore. He rarely Gets Drunk, and when he does it doesn’t negatively affect the job. Comments are made about how “You were pretty drunk for that one,” in past tense. At the same time, some comments are in present tense, but those ones are pretty flippant. The “Functioning alcoholic!” line in The Office Job tells us that I was right, Sophie did not let it go, but it seems to have become more of a casual ongoing argument than a serious issue, on the lines of “Why don’t you ever do the dishes?” Parker tells us he does Mastermind stuff alone, just him and his bottle. 

But like, on the one hand, it makes sense. He’s had that closure in Season One, he’s no longer in a lot of situations that are triggering him and when he is he’s a) a little more removed from the situation, and b) with people he cares about and can depend on to help him solve it. It makes sense, actually, that the acute spikes might be gone while the base problem remains, just at a low enough level for the others to snark about it but mostly let it go. That’s possible, and it makes sense for TV because it’s an interesting character trait to keep around but also we NEED him to be able to keep going without going off the rails every few episodes.

I wish I could leave it at that. But I definitely cannot. Because then we have. The mother. fucking. cross my heart job.

Remember when I said Nate wasn’t getting triggered much anymore? Here’s the exception. A boy is in a hospital and will DIE if the bad guy gets what he wants. This is a serious danger zone for Nate. And he has set up temporary HQ inside the. . . uh. . . Crab-A-Rama. That’s what the When Darkness Falls script says and I’m choosing to believe them. But anyway. Crab-A-Rama has a visible bar. And Nate is running the con from here, and he is Not Drinking. 

Is he actually making the decision not to drink because he recognizes that it would be dangerous and this is too important to risk fucking it up by getting drunk? That would be such great character growth to explore. But instead Sophie tells him to have a drink. And she says:

We don't like it when you drink, but we trust you when you do. We both knew this was gonna get personal. We need you to stay clear-headed. You let it get to you now, it's gonna go bad for all of us. Be very careful, Nate.

Throughout Season One Sophie SAW and CALLED OUT that a) situations like this triggered Nate to drink and b) when he drank, the plans got more risky and c) the rest of the team was less willing to follow him. 

And now she’s saying that they will TRUST him MORE if he drinks, and that he should drink specifically BECAUSE this situation is personal and dangerous?

Okay, okay. Deep breaths. It’s just one line. Maybe they just wrote one bad line and I should let it go. But then again. . . there’s also The Last Dam Job, when we get a beautiful shot of Nate passed out on a cot in the batcave, surrounded by empty bottles, and then he bolts up and declares “VERD AGRA!” showing that during his bender he’s gotten to the bottom of Latimer’s schemes. That’s the only time I can think of in the latter three seasons that he actually Gets Drunk, and it seems to have. . . . HELPED. 

I’m trying so hard to come up with a generalization about what this all means. Is the drinking a continuing problem and an interesting example of a show wrapping up without feeling the need to solve every problem? Or does it actually transition from being treated as a problem to being treated as a kind of POWER with unfortunate side effects? Has Sophie set a healthy boundary and decided it’s his problem to deal with, and she’s okay with that even as she agrees to MARRY him? Or has she totally changed her mind about it and decided that she’s okay with it and even knows how to use it to their advantage?

I have no conclusion. I keep thinking maybe there’s a line I’m missing that explains it all. If you know of such a line, by all means let me know. But I’m afraid the answer is just. . . a show is made by a lot of different people, and the general intent was probably to keep the drinking as a problem but not a focal point during these seasons, but like. . . different writers/directors/producers/editors are going to see things differently and total cohesion isn’t always possible. So yeah, that’s my shitty conclusion: Shows aren’t always cohesive and there’s no in-universe explanation that will make it all make sense. 

Well that was disappointing. SORRY!

[serenheist]

What Taehyung is like in a relationship/ Taehyung as a boyfriend Tarot reading

How long does it take him to get into a relationship? & Does he prefer long or short term relationships 8 of cups, queen of swords, 10 of pentacles 9 of pentacles reversed, 4 of cups

Ffs the queen of swords always pops up. Anyway yeah I don’t see him getting into anything quickly. He could’ve in the past but I think past relationships left him drained af and feeling alienated. I think he has a shit ton of walls up and is a lot more no nonsense now. It’s probably intimidating and more blunt to others because he wants to get to the heart of why someone is trying to get with him since so many people try to pull the same shit and fuck around with him like he’s dumb. He does not settle for anything other than what he wants. If he can’t find “the one” then he legit just rather be alone. It looks like he’s now more focused on building a Legacy though and something serious and long term so he has no desire to just jump into something with anyone. He basically would wait it out and get to know them long before deciding he trusts them enough and feels comfortable enough to show his emotions and not be so aloof.

I feel like he’d be the type to not show much interest at first because he really needs to scope the person out. So the person probably wouldn’t even know he actually likes them. Actually he could be a little too jaded and bored to the point of turning away everyone even though he does want a relationship. But in his mind there’s too many people being carbon copies and trying to swindle him for his money bruh for real all of bts are having this problem like damn it keeps reoccurring. Idk why it seems like there’s people also trying to use money to get with him like they’re rich and they think he’ll just want someone loaded. Like dude he’s already rich so that doesn’t work and to him them having a ton of money means Jack shit when they have the personality of a damn rock.

Past & present love life 10 of swords, 2 of pentacles present: the hermit, 5 of wands

Past love life: welp. Do I really need to explain the 10 of swords. I think actually that he had all this past trauma and shit from relationships and even other shit he still hasn’t dealt with but there was no time to even process that because he had to get back to work and act like he was fine. I think he’s the type of person that buries himself in his career when he experiences traumatic stuff that he doesn’t want to deal with. And of course it’s easier when you’re busy 24/7 anyway. This relationship betrayed him in every way tbh but maybe it was a catalyst for better things to come though he still might not see this right now. Present: I don’t see him in a relationship now currently cause the hermit but also being a major arcana it’s like he’s really in a life stage right now where he just wants to be alone because there’s so much conflict going on and he’s feeling anxious and having all these negative pessimistic thoughts that he just needs time to himself. I don’t think he very optimistic about his love life right now he’s lost a lot of hope. Things are too chaotic elsewhere to focus on romance.

What is he like in a relationship? the chariot, ace of cup, Unicorn, fae 61, solus 13, vanth, the sun reversed, anger and chains 29, justice, 2 of swords reversed, 3 of cups reversed, avenoir 1, princess of pentacles,ta’om the poet 29, ace of swords, Thanatos

What is he like in a relationship? When he’s in a relationship he really puts all his focus on that person and will go above and beyond for them. There’s a kind of masculine and feminine balance in him in the sense that he’s ready to be the go getter and take charge but there’s also a vulnerable energy and overflowing emotions. He works hard to take care of his person and make the relationship work . The only downside is he could possibly be too smothering to his partner or come on too strongly because of past shit and maybe too clingy for some people since in a relationship he really shows his softer side and he’s not as aloof as he is to others. He loves to have little house parties with his partner and have friends and family over with a ton of food and music.

For date ideas he’s down for anything but especially something “magical” maybe literally some place like Disneyland or pagan festival like beltane? That’s specific af but there’s a medieval type of energy and nature spirits and shit, he wants to do stuff he hasn’t done before and that might even be outside his comfort zone since G. Hobyah card is all about imaginary fears and getting past them. The best qualities he has in a relationship is the ability to help his partner stand on their own 2 feet but also recognizes that you can’t do everything on your own so he’s the type of person who would go above and beyond and connect you to the right people or situations. He’s always there when his partner really needs them and will make sure to put time aside.

His worst quality is that I don’t think he knows how to express his anger in a healthy way. I think with the sun reversed next to anger and chains it’s more like he doesn’t know how to fully show it it’s kinda repressed but his emotions under the exterior are a hot mess and there’s a big need for stability. It’s like being too stubborn to admit when you mess up and petty shit cause it hurts his ego. But I don’t think it’s super bad considering the justice card I used to represent his communication style. I feel that even if he gets mad af he gets over things really quickly and one minute he’s be angry and 10 minutes later he’ll be asking you what you want for dinner like wtf.

When he likes someone he’s not going to jump in and immediately go approach them. I see him instead watching them intently from afar lol he’s very cautious and like gathering everything he can on that person. Dude’s a 1st class stalker. Jk But the thing is the person wont even know he is interested in them because he keeps a serious face as a kind of mask but on the inside he’s like a giddy kid. Ta’om is known for looking serious and thoughtful but is actually very playful and slightly mischievous. I think Taehyung is definitely one to start off as friends and slowly get to know someone rather than just start dating because he really wants to know that person well to see how real they are and if they’re just putting up a front.

He’s not attracted to new shiny things that are perfect he’s able to see the beauty in all things even in difficulty. After he’s been friends with them for awhile and knows if that person like him back, that’s when he’d actually make a move. He finds a lot of satisfaction in doing services for others until they’re completed so it makes me think his love language (giving) is acts of service but with the ace of swords is pretty obvious his Receiving love language is words of affirmation but moreso he appreciates when someone is blunt and honest and not just saying stuff to make him feel better cause then it’s just insincere.

What is his ideal type? the ageless, the star, the singer of healing 10, el shaddai, protection 26, ram, the maestro, fae 41, the sage 19, king of cups reversed, himself 17, danu, death reversed, obsession

His type: this person seems to have had some messed up stuff happen to them in their past. Even when others were horrible to them they still kept their dignity and chose to still give to others instead of give in to bitterness and despair. It’s like the Phoenix where no matter how many times they metaphorically die, they can still rise up even better than before. I think they’re able to help heal others because they’ve been through the trauma themselves but they know how to be honest and blunt without being overly mean about it. They have a kid of tough exterior though I think from years of negativity from people that’s made them strong but also a little distant from people and they need a lot of time to themselves to recharge and get away from peoples bs. Honestly this seems a lot like Taehyung too lol I think he wants someone who’s been through similar traumas.

The ram keeps calling out to me that I think this persons way of showing love is a little aggressive but that’s what Taehyung likes in someone tbh. It’s not like actually showing love it’s hard to explain. It’s more so you know when someone tries to act like sarcastic and shit to hide the fact that they like someone? Idk why it reminds me of toph from avatar the last airbender where she just punches people to show affection it’s kinda like that. Cause they’re not good at being really vulnerable. They put on this brave face and are pretty good at it to the point where you won’t notice that they’re jealous seeing you hang out with someone else. But this person is really independent like I’m not joking lmao and a go getter they don’t rely on anyone really. And don’t give a fuck who you are.

There’s 2 healing cards and honestly why is this person so similar to Taehyung lol this person is great at helping or healing others but again has to realize it’s okay to also get help for yourself. They think maybe that they’re fine on their own and they don’t like relying on others for help because people disappoint you and it’s easier to just do it yourself. But they’re really good at giving advice and are lot nicer than their exterior let’s on. Bruh the star card makes my mind keep playing that I’m gonna be a star song by twice lmao stop. I think this person actually is a star or is working up to it cause they have huge plans. This isn’t someone just wanting a mundane job I think they’re gonna go big.

Especially paired with the ram talking about they go for big dreams and huge successes. This person won’t stop until they accomplish their dreams they really don’t care what others say and will go to the extremes to get there. I see they have a lot of talents anyway but some people were like saying negative shit that their dreams are impossible but they’re learning to set boundaries with other people and it’s more of a just move in silence energy. Also usually I don’t say zodiac signs but since it’s a major arcana it might play some significance but Aquarius might be prominent in their chart (nvm I just remembered Taehyung has venus in Aquarius so duh you dumbass it wouldn’t be that out there to think he’d be drawn to Aquarius qualities).

I wonder if this person is into astrology though given all the glyphs. I think this is someone Taehyung has been trying to manifest and call in too like wishing on a star for a looooong time and maybe thought it wouldn’t come but boy does the universe have a surprise for you. They really are future oriented thinkers and know a lot about spirituality I think that a big part of who they are I really don’t think they’d be completely atheist or not care about spiritual topics. They give a lot without much thought in return and can talk about anything with openness and honesty. With Taehyung they’d teach him everything under the sun. He likes when he can share all this knowledge especially about weirder topics with someone who isn’t going to dismiss him. I see them really encouraging him to try new things and show him things he never knew were possible. They treat him like he finally belongs somewhere in the world.

This shit is kinda spooky because both the maestro guy and illbe the retriever are holding orbs/a little white ball close to them and they speak of the same thing. This person really protects Taehyungs hopes and dreams. Also they themselves obviously represent a dream that Taehyung thought was long gone and impossible. I think it can be taken literally too lol to mean that when Taehyung is being forgetful af. This person is that type of person who has your keys already when you think you lost them. They’re really the more responsible one in the relationship lmao helping him to be more organized and get his life together. The next set of cards I used to represent what his biggest turn ons are. This isn’t in a sexual way though lmao I meant the qualities he likes the most in his ideal type. Already I noticed how all the cards are facing straight ahead and looking right at you so it makes me think this person has some intense ass eye contact and looks intimidating and they got a rbf.

With the king of cups reversed I don’t think they’re actually these heartless cold bitches and that Taehyung is turned on by that because the sage card is upright and talks about the same shit but this is a person definitely who looks colder but is actually kind on the inside. He kinda likes people who look cold like that but are actually sweethearts. This person is not one of those super lovey-dovey people or uses pet names and babytalk like “my sweet baby Taehyung” whatever I think they find it very cringe. They have some trauma from when they were kids where they felt as if they aren’t allowed to act very emotional because people will think they’re weak and take advantage of them (this is just their beliefs about themselves) they instead act very macho or tough again lol like Toph from ATLA idk why I keep thinking of her but there’s like a kinda tomboy energy but they’re really not heartless they just need the right person to feel comfortable around and need to work on opening up emotionally.

There’s so much masculine and yang energy but then at the end you see this motherhood figure so it again really makes me think it’s a front and this person is so nurturing and that’s what really draw Taehyung to them. He loves the most that this person knows so much about the most random things and esoteric topics. They value tradition and stability but they also understand the need for growth and change they’re the perfect balance. Communication is really a big thing for Taehyung it’s a reoccurring theme in this. Someone who is very good at communicating and are action oriented. They say what they mean and mean what they say. It’s very important that they are their own unique individual self and have their own goals and skills and hobbies.

This person is probably a powerful manifester too and sets their intentions and goes after them. They have so much power and confidence also with the himself card they could be a dancer or love dance since he’s a dancer faerie they’re very much into creative shit. They seem very natural and not the type who got work done or wears too much makeup idk there’s like a wild energy lol like this bitch is from the damn forest. If someone attacked Taehyung this person would literally drop kick someone even if the person was bigger than them. Danu card is always protective and nurturing but ferocious if you mess with their person. Like “idc what you do to me but if you touch my guy I’ll end you”.

Now onto what Taehyung’s biggest turn offs in general are: death reversed and obsessed card lol oh god bro I am fucking done. His biggest turn off is when someone makes him the center of their universe. I mean this in the extreme way like “omg you’re my one and only we’re meant to be I think about you 5000 times a day and have an entire closet with all your pictures and I document your entire life” 👀 and he’s like uhh can you get a damn hobby? (That doesn’t involve me) Cause imagine someone’s entire life revolves around you. It’s sweet at first I guess? Lmaoo then it’s just creepy and like they have no life or personality without you. Death reversed is like something is plaguing you and following you around, pestering and annoying you. He must’ve experienced this shit irl lmao if it’s this strong with a major arcana to come up as a turn off. Cause major arcana are big ass life lessons. Like they thought he wouldn’t know they were secretly obsessed with his ass and used other people like his friends to get closer to him but I’m telling you Taehyungs intuition is something else and he always knows when people are some obsessed crazies. This is exactly why he’s so cautious now because of bs like that he can’t trust anyone. Like please stop acting like Jodi Arias and have some self respect.

[elysianslove]

Please wrote more surrogate fics please . could I request one with SakuAtsu or could you just start a series on these. If you'd me comfortable with that. That on IwaOi surrogate fic brought me so much joy. I can't even describe it.

oh my goodness i’d love to!!! it makes me so happy knowing you liked it cause like,,, idk why it’s just special to me :) also im so glad you asked for sakuatsu bc these two ships are basically my favorite jhfgbsj. and yesyes i’d love to have a mini series with like little scenarios of each ship <333

this was insanely long. like insanely. 

content warning; artificial insemination, pregnancy, haikyuu manga spoilers, gay people being happy idk 

being iwaoi’s surrogate 

BEING SAKUATSU’S SURROGATE 

↬ it took forever to even get them together, so with a duo as indecisive as them, it’s imaginable how long the decision to raise a child together took. it took a long, long while for that transition from enemies to lovers to be final, and even then, they hadn’t realized how serious their relationship was until they were off getting married and then suddenly wanting a child? 

↬ it was something atsumu brought up out of the blue, just casually as they sat side by side on the couch. “wouldn’t it be nice if we raised a child together?” and it stuck with sakusa ever since. he didn’t know why he was obsessively thinking about it as much, but it’s all he could think about. literally. anytime he so much as thought about atsumu with a child, and a child of their own too, his stomach did a thousand and one flips. sakusa was never the biggest fan of children, and he knew that neither was atsumu. but, this would be different, wouldn’t it? Still, he tried to remind himself of the cons; they were pro-athletes, they didn’t have time, they didn’t understand the weight of the responsibility, were they even ready for something like that? somedays it was too tiring to take care of themselves, of each other. were they ready to be responsible for a whole life, someone dependent entirely on them? it seemed too— unrealistic. like something he could only hope to dream about, and just dream about.

↬ until he thought of atsumu with a little kid, a spit image of either one of them, sitting on his lap, giggling and laughing and squealing in glee. and so he decided, there will always be cons, he just has to see if the pros outweighed them. and honestly, they did. they were pro-athletes, sure, but that also meant they were financially stable, and could provide for a child, properly. they were mature now, knew each other very well, and had adapted to living with one another. they had family and friends all around. the kid would for sure grow up loved and cared for, and him and atsumu would add another person to their family. it really seemed like a dream, but this time, an attainable one.

↬ so as he ate dinner with his lover, he blurted out, “let’s raise a child together,” and atsumu honest to god choked on his food. he asked sakusa if he was serious, if he meant it, if this was real, and sakusa’s answer was yes to every single one of his question. yes, he was serious; yes, he meant it; yes, this was real. as real as can be.

↬ they both already knew they wanted a surrogate, and it didn’t matter who was the father. so long as the child was theirs.

↬ finding a surrogate was, well, a pain, to put it into perspective. sakusa was so picky about the “requirements,” if you will, and atsumu was suspicious of every single woman, it was kind of ridiculous really. he just “didn’t trust that they wouldn’t run away with the baby!” in his words. atsumu suggested sakusa’s older sister, which seemed perfect in his head, but sakusa refused, claiming it was 1. extremely weird, and 2. he doubted she’d say yes, with her own life to handle.

↬ and it finally, finally, came to atsumu: he could always just ask, well, you. he had met you during his college years, and since then, he’d been coincidentally crossing paths with you ever since then, and you’d even managed their msby jackals team at some point. it was weirdly ironic how he’s coming back to you, kind of like fate.

↬ so he suggested it to sakusa, and for once, the latter didn’t really have any way to object, except, “what if this inconveniences her?” other than that, you were the perfect candidate. they knew you well, trusted you, knew they could rely on you. and atsumu was sure you wouldn’t run with the baby. with regards to the inconvenience part, well, they could always just deal with that when the time came.

↬ they invited you over for some breakfast two days later, after they’d thought about it properly, endlessly, and figured you were their best option. it was weird seeing them so nervous when you first arrived, like they were breaking up with you or something. atsumu barely ate with how nauseous he felt, and sakusa spent the entire time watching you eat instead, hands fidgeting and legs shaking. it was really weird, but you didn’t bring it up, letting them take their own time to tell you whatever it was they wanted to tell you, because obviously, they clearly had something to say.

↬ after breakfast, you sat in their living room, just watching the tv quietly, until sakusa offered to get you some water. you weren’t really thirsty, but you agreed anyways, unsurprised to see atsumu rise from his own seat a minute later with a, “be right back,” as he headed to the kitchen. you could hear them bickering and whisper-yelling, and if you weren’t starting to grow as nervous as they were, you would’ve had it in you to laugh. they returned looking like they were bearing the most daunting of news, sitting down on the couch perpendicular to you. atsumu’s hands were sweaty and intertwined tightly together, while sakusa tried to remain as composed as possible. it seemed like the dark haired man would speak up, finally, parting his mouth with a deep breath.

↬ but it’s atsumu that blurts out, “please have my baby!— our baby. please have our baby.”

↬ honestly, your first response was to laugh, in disbelief, as you clutch your glass of water. but then you see their faces — god they looked so goddamn scared — and you realized that, they were really serious. they really wanted you to carry their baby for them. holy shit?—

↬ you were mostly speechless after that, stuttering as you ask them to please explain, you’re honored but are they are, have they thought about this? properly? in depth?

↬ to your surprise, they really knew what they were doing. they’d done their research, and thought about a million other options before deciding that you were the best one. they also repeatedly told you that you didn’t have to do this, and that they didn’t want to guilt-trip you into doing it either. they wanted you to say yes only if you yourself wanted to say yes, and if this wouldn’t negatively affect you or halt your life in any way. you were the one that was going to be carrying the baby anyways, weren’t you? at the end of the day, this was all about you.

↬ you asked them for time to think about it, and reminded them that it wasn’t a no. you just wanted to make sure you were making the right decision whichever that ended up being. a few days later, you call them, asking them to meet up one way or another, and atsumu’s even more nervous than he was asking you; not even sakusa’s gentle lips to his temple or large hands soothingly rubbing at his back or his kind words could help him. sakusa himself was insanely anxious. in his head, it seemed like your ‘no,’ would finalize everything. that it would really mean no hope in having a child of their own, their very own.

↬ you invite them over to your home, and the kettle is already boiling when they arrive. you make them tea and make small talk if only to delay the inevitable. but, to each of their surprises, you take a deep breath and say, “i’d be honored to carry your baby for you,” with the brightest, warmest smile. sakusa has to bite his inner cheek to will himself to not cry, because he can’t believe you said yes. you agreed. you’re going to carry their baby. him and atsumu were having a baby.

↬ atsumu doesn’t stop himself from throwing his arms around you, collapsing on top of you in tight hug that you kind of can’t breathe, but you let him, and you laugh when he thanks you for saying yes, that he’ll “be forever in your debt.”

↬ it’s the happiest you’ve seen either of them.

↬ when you’re done with the process of insemination (of course, atsumu does joke that the three of you should go the natural way and have a threesome, to which he earns a smack from his lover and a smack from you, at the same time), the three of you just have to wait, really. it’s the longest period of waiting you’ve ever had to do, but you try to be patient, as patient as you can be. when you wake up one morning and throw up, you look at your period tracking app to see if maybe you were pms’ing. except, you weren’t. you were late. like a good three weeks late.

↬ immediately, you’re booking a doctor’s appointment. you wait to tell sakusa and atsumu after confirming your suspicions, because you don’t want to raise their hopes up for nothing. they’ve already been swimming in a pool of doubts ever since the insemination, calling you everyday to check up on you and ask for any progress. when the doctor confirms your pregnancy — holy shit you were pregnant — the first thing you do is go over to their house. you know it’s not the best idea to show up unannounced, but with how long they’ve been waiting, and how much they’ve been wanting this, the more and more you fed into it, you couldn’t wait any longer to tell them. you arrive, and the moment sakusa opens the door for you, you gasp out, “i’m pregnant.”

↬ sakusa’s quite literally frozen in shock, his mouth pressed in a thin line with eyes wide open, while atsumu walks over and goes, “oh hey,” in greeting before noticing sakusa’s face and just ???? “what’s going on?”

↬ “i’m pregnant.”

↬ “you’re what?”

↬ you show them with tears stinging your eyes the results of the test you’d taken at the doctor’s, and atsumu grips the report so tightly, like it’ll disappear if it slips only slightly from his hands. sakusa’s still in shock, trying to process everything. it takes him a good while before he can function properly again.

↬ the pregnancy itself is a lot smoother than you’d imagined. iwaizumi, as their athletic trainer, although not well versed with pregnancy, knew a lot about health and taking care of yourself in general, so he made sure you were always eating right and healthy. he even accompanied you once when sakusa and atsumu couldn’t, to the doctor, and made sure to ask him specifically what you should and shouldn’t be eating. all of the olympic/national team are more excited than anything. they’re insanely protective over you, and always pamper and care for you you when they can, whether that be back/neck/shoulder massages or giving you their food when they notice you eyeing it or letting you lean entirely on any of them for support as you walk. granted, they do make fun of you, especially the bigger your stomach got, but they mean well, really. suna once made fun of you and, because of the hormones, and because he was genuinely just mean, you started to cry. since then, suna swore off bullying you, at least until you gave birth.

↬ osamu is beyond ecstatic to become an uncle. he’s so excited it makes atsumu incredibly emotional. he goes with his brother on trips to ikea to buy a crib and gifts him an insane amount of baby clothes and always begins a conversation with, “how’s the baby?” every time you’re around, osamu’s hand can be found resting on your stomach, soothingly rubbing, excitedly grinning when he feels a kick. he is just so happy for his brother, he could cry.

↬ you ask them if they want a gender reveal when you find out or to keep it until the delivery of the baby, but they’re both insanely impatient (even though sakusa does try to convince atsumu to wait because it’ll be exciting, he himself isn’t even that convinced of that and they just ask you to tell them). with the help of osamu and his and atsumu’s parents, you organize a gender reveal party. the moment he sees the pink smoke, atsumu cheers so loudly it makes you laugh till your stomach hurt. sakusa’s grinning wider than you’ve ever seen him, grabbing atsumu’s face and kissing him, before pulling you into a tight hug. it’s literally the cutest thing ever, everyone just cheering loudly around you and celebrating with you.

↬ when you go into labor, you’re with neither of them, but with osamu, aran, and kita. they were staying the night at a hotel since they had training away from where they lived, and you were spending the night at osamu’s because the fathers of your baby really didn’t want you to be alone so close to your due date, and who better than osamu? your water didn’t break, but you kept having contractions. you were brushing it off as normal pain at the start, but they started to get worse, and closer together in time. kita, because he’s kita, had been keeping track, and told you how far apart your contractions were. to which you went, “contractions?!”

↬ aran’s calling sakusa and atsumu as kita grabs your bag as osamu grabs his keys and helps you to his car. you really couldn’t have been around a better set of men, because they were perfectly composed the whole time, helping you breathe and stay calm by staying calm themselves, reassuring you that you didn’t need to worry and that you will get to the hospital in time. they did flinch every time you screamed or cried out in pain, but aran held your hand the entire drive there, and kita guided you to steadying yourself as osamu drove as fast as he could.

↬ the issue was with sakusa and atsumu. to say they were freaking out would be an understatement. they were positively losing it. atsumu’s anxiety was louder than sakusa’s, but the latter’s was clear as ever on his pale skin and clammy hands. they were so annoying in the delivery room, literally faring worse off than you, who was pushing a whole baby out of her body. when you finally gave birth to a healthy baby girl, atsumu sobbed and sakusa cried in his hands, so maybe it was alright after all.

↬ they literally couldn’t believe their eyes when the nurse handed you the baby and placed her on your chest. she was so, so tiny, so beautiful, and theirs. honestly, you couldn’t hold back your own tears at the sight of her, and at their reaction to her. you held her in your arms as they thanked you, over and over and over again, for the biggest blessing they could ever receive.

↬ despite the fact that you were simply their surrogate, sakusa and atsumu knew they couldn’t just separate you and your baby, and neither could they just take her home all of a sudden. so for the first few months, you stayed in their guest room, but the baby slept in her own room. it was more difficult than you expected it to be when you were leaving her to go back to your own home, but they promised you repeatedly that they’re not really taking her away. it wasn’t as if you couldn’t visit at any time you wanted to come visit her. but at the end of the day, you knew what you had been signing up for, and that she was their daughter.

↬ she grows up to be a gorgeous woman. she’s interested in volleyball, sure, she’d been raised with volleyball players everywhere around her, but it’s not her immediate passion. atsumu thought he’d be more upset about that than he actually was, because he found out that it didn’t matter at all what she wanted to do. hell, if she wanted to do nothing at all and stay home forever with them, he was 100% on board with that. whatever made her happy and healthy, he was okay with. she grows up to be really close and really comfortable with both of her fathers, and they make sure with every passing day that no matter what, she can always come to them. and she does, about every little thing. and each and every time, they listen and advice and guide her properly. a s parents, they’re a perfect balance of strict and lenient. they set and raise her to never cross those boundaries, but otherwise they give her complete freedom. they respect her privacy, her decisions, everything.

↬ there was a day when she came back home from school, and they had taken a biology class for kids, where a teacher had explained periods to them. obviously, as curious as ever, she’d asked her dads about it, because she didn’t really get it. she wanted to know the how’s and the why’s and the what’s and the when’s. with every passing second atsumu had felt his lifespan shorten. eventually he suggested they call you, who she knew as her ‘aunt’ for the time being, since you were a woman and nobody would really explain it better than you. when she did get her period eventually, and had to sheepishly and shyly ask her dads to go to the store for her because she needed, um, supplies, atsumu lost it. sakusa had to try and calm him down all while laughing as he got ready to go to the store for her, because the drama of miya atsumu never gets old. he just couldn’t believe she was already getting her period. what the hell! what the actual hell!

↬ of course, he proceeded to embarrass her by telling osamu, telling sakusa’s parents, telling his parents. not cool :(

↬ when she was old enough, especially to understand the concept of being a surrogate (oh my god the sex talk was a whole other insufferable thing), they told her about you, and that you were actually her biological mother and not just an ‘auntie.’ she tried to be angry at them for keeping it from her, but she was honestly more excited about finding out than anything. it brought the two of you closer together, and for the next mother’s day, she organized a whole brunch for you, her and her dads, got you a gift, flowers, everything. yeah, you did cry.

↬ you genuinely have never been more satisfied and thankful for a decision like this one, ever, especially because of how much of a blessing the outcome had been.

can u tell this isn’t my first time thinking about this. ever since i posted the iwaoi one i’ve been wanting to do a sakuatsu one, but i didn’t really know whether anyone had enjoyed that or would want more, so thank you for sending in this ask!! love u all mwah <3 

[itsallyscorner]

just like magic with marvel cast, the vibe is----- a perfect song for a lil b*tch with a good heart and a sarcastic mouth

just like magic is the song we ALL need for 2020😌 Start manifesting ya’ll🖤 Also thank you sm for the request I am so so sorry this took so freakin’ long😭 Love u, happy reading🖤🖤 Tried to add my own lil twist to your request:)

(A lil different from the request, but I tried to make the reader have a bit sas.)

💌.

just like magic

Growing up within the Marvel Cinematic Universe was probably one of things you were most grateful for. When you first started out you weren’t that social. You were new to the business, you didn’t know anybody and you were intimidated by every single actor you crossed paths with.

At first you didn’t feel like you fit in. You felt as if you were a burden to everyone else. You barely talked to anyone which made the others approach you out of force by the Russos. Everyone around you was talented while you were just some newcomer who had jack shit as experience. The first few years you were insecure of yourself mentally and physically. You weren’t as pretty or fit as the other women in the MCU nor did your skills live up to theirs. Which led to some unhealthy habits. Plus there were haters and movie critics who would say horrible things about you and your acting.

You had a rocky start unlike Tom Holland and even Lexi Rabe. Until one day when you realized that you had to change how you were thinking. It took you a while but all that negative thinking you were doing was only bringing you negative energy. So when you had a break from filming movies, your number one goal was to improve yourself.

Wake up in my bed, I just wanna have a good day (Mmm, ah)

Think it in my head, then it happens how it should, ayy

Twelve o'clock, I got a team meeting, then a meditation at like 1:30

Then I ride to the studio listening to some shit I wrote (Oh)

You woke up with smile on your face in a sense of calmness. The sun shined bright hues into your room as you got up from your bed. Today was the first day back on set. You guys were finally filming Civil War and you were honestly so excited. As you did your morning routine, you went over how the day would go in your head. You’re genuinely excited to see the entire cast. It has been almost half a year since you’ve seen everyone and you couldn’t wait to be back.

You took one last look at yourself in the mirror. Compared to the previous year, you looked and felt healthy. Your eyes shined and you looked well relaxed. You know like one of those face cleanser commercials? That’s how you felt. You felt like a breath of fresh air.

The ride to the studio took a good 30 minutes but it felt like seconds. You entered the set with a new sense of confidence and pride. The energy was practically radiating off you.

“(Y/n)?” You hear someone call from behind you. You turn around and see Scarlett looking at you.

“Hey!” You greet her as you approach her. You pulled her into a hug, startling her.

“Oh! Hello to you too, honey.” She laughed as she wrapped her arms around you. “How are you?”

“I’m doing great! Life’s been good.” You answer as a toothy grin graces itself on your face. Scarlett’s eyes are filled with shocked. From the previous times she’s talked to you she’s never seen you so loud or open. You were always shy and closed off from everyone on set.

Good karma, my aesthetic (Aesthetic)

Keep my conscience clear, that's why I'm so magnetic

Manifest it (Yeah), I finessed it (I finessed it)

Take my pen and write some love letters to Heaven

Eventually everyone on set caught on to your new attitude. Though they tried to be discreet about their reactions and shocked expressions, you could still see how they were caught off guard by your sudden change of nature.

Anthony watched as you conversed with Elizabeth and Scarlett on the couch in Robert’s “village” . You were probably the most smiliest person in the room beating Evans, who was eating his lunch.

“She’s like different. But in a good way. It’s like she’s bloomed.” Anthony thought out loud to the men beside him. Chris (E) and Sebastian look in your direction.

“Bloomed?” Chris snorted as he swallowed his food.

“Yeah, like she’s growing into a woman.” Anthony hummed proudly as he went back to his own lunch. Sebastian smiled at you, “I think she’s gained some confidence in herself and finally realized how good of a person she is.”

“If she’s finally realized that, I’m glad she did. She’s like a ball of sunshine, it’s adorable.” Chris smiled proudly at you as your hands move around animatedly while explaining some story to the two women in front of you.

“Y’all think it’s a boy?” Anthony wondered. Sebastian rolled his eyes at his friend. Before he can even respond Anthony is calling you over. You approach the men with a smile and take a seat beside Sebastian.

“What’s up?” You greet them. Chris nods at you as he chews on his sandwich. Sebastian greeting you with a quiet “hey”.

“So who’s the lucky man?” Anthony asks teasingly. Your brows knit together head tilting to the side.

“Man?”

“Yes man, or boy, whatever. Who’s got you feelin’ yourself, (y/n).” Anthony wiggles his brows as he shimmies closer to you. Sebastian, who’s in between you two, cringes at the man to his left.

You didn’t take any offense to the question, knowing that everyone was curious as to why you were so unlike yourself.

You chuckled before smirking at the older man, “Anthony, honey. I don’t need a man to be feelin’ myself. I did this on my own.”

Chris and Sebastian’s mouth drop at your answer. Chris laughed as he pointed out Anthony’s face. Sebastian slung an arm around your shoulder bringing you into a side hug as he laughed with Chris.

“To be fair” Chris began to say but started to laugh, “To be fair, you deserved that.” Anthony’s face went flushed as he nodded to himself. You suddenly felt bad that you put him on the spot.

“Alright, stop laughing at him.” You playfully glare at Chris and Seb. You poke Anthony’s arm, “To answer your question, I’ve just been working on myself. Thinking more positively, I even tried manifestation.”

“You know what, that’s good. You’re taking care of yourself mentally and physically. I’m proud of you for doing this for yourself, we all are.” Anthony tells you as he motions to the two other men.

You look at all three of them, all of them looking at you with pride, “Thanks guys.”

Just like magic (Baby), just like magic (Oh yeah)

Middle finger to my thumb and then I snap it

Just like magic (Yeah), I'm attractive (Oh yeah)

I get everything I want 'cause I attract it (Oh)

As the months passed, the more you evolved into another version of you. You walked with determination, carried yourself with such grace and you’ve gained confidence in your career. You didn’t let your insecurities get to you, instead you faced them and overcame them. You were tired of letting them control you.

Your change in attitude and perspective on life has definitely affected your life in many ways. Manifestation was one of the things that have helped you the most. Writing about your goals and putting that energy out to the world has helped you persevere in your job. You’ve only faced good karma; sending out positive energy and receiving it back from the universe.

So far you’ve been casted in two new projects and have a campaign lined up with Gucci. If you were told a year ago that you’d be working with big time directors and freakin’ Gucci, you wouldn’t have believe them. Life has been unreal ever since you decided to change your life around. But of course you had to thank your Marvel family, without them and their support you probably wouldn’t haven gotten to where you were today.

Looking at my phone, but I'm tryna disconnect it (Oh yeah)

Read a fuckin' book, I be tryna stay connected (Yeah)

Say it's tricky at the top, gotta keep a slim ego for a thick wallet

Losing friends left and right, but I just send 'em love and light (Oh)

As many people recognized your success many people still tried to pull you down. Some fans on social media have noticed your change in behavior and have even praised you for practicing self care. While others still tried to push you off the mountain of success you were currently on and drag you across the ground.

These were the reasons as to why you were barely on your phone anymore. You used to be invested in your phone but after realizing how much negativity it brought you, you’ve decided to slowly disconnect from it. Which led you to becoming more interested into books.

Chris (E) had even brought some of his favorite arts of literature for you to borrow. You were currently on your third book of his, Sapiens A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari. You were sitting outside your trailer in a fold up chair under the shade. Your peacefulness was interrupted by Tom (Holland) who had a worried expression on his face.

“Have you not seen it yet?” He asked you as soon as he was in front of you. Being the two most youngest actors on the current set, you guys were closer to each other than with the adults.

“Seen what, Tommy?” You put a finger in between the pages you were reading to save your spot. Tom pulls his phone out and began to type. He tapped on his screen and turned the screen to you.

“She’s been talking crap about you for days.” You read the article and saw that one of your “friends”, Sabrina has been speaking out about your success and how it’s changed you as a person.

“She’s going off about how the more money you get in your wallet, the more bratty and arrogant you become.” He grumbled as he turned his phone off.

“I could care less, honestly. I know I haven’t done anything to her and if I did I was unaware of it. Plus, she stopped talking to me after I said I couldn’t get her a part in a movie.” You shrugged as you placed a proper bookmark in the book.

“You’re not upset?”

“I mean it’s sad that she’s acting so two faced. But if that’s how she wants to roll, then be my guest. It’s her loss, not everyone has great taste.” You flicked a piece of hair away from your face with your hand.

“You’re not gonna release a statement against her?”

“No, probably just wish her well with her life and move on with my own.” You answered much to Tom’s dismay.

Redesign your brain, we gon' make some new habits

Just like magic (Just like magic), just like magic

Filming has officially ended a few months ago and now you guys were doing press tour for Civil War. Before you were the new and improved version of yourself, you dreaded press tours. Some interviewers were nice and respectful, but there were those who would ask inappropriate questions and were just rude in general. All you could remember during those past tours was wanting to leave those rooms as soon as possible.

The q&a panel at New York had a packed room. There were many journalist crowded in the room shoulder to shoulder. You were sat in between Elizabeth and Scarlett, two of the women who have been guiding you and teaching you about life as a woman in the business. They were also like your older sisters.

The panel had been going smoothly for the first half hour until a man with a snobby face and cocky demeanor approached the mic.

“Hello, I’m Keith and my question’s for (y/n).” He began. You nodded in his direction, motioning for him to continue.

“I think everyone’s noticed how you’ve changed and developed as a person. Obviously something’s changed in your life. So I want to know if you’ve had any intimate relationships with any of the men in the cast?” You were surprised at the man’s question. First it was bold of him to ask such a question and second it was just disrespectful to you and the others on the cast.

“I mean someone’s gotta be fucking you good to make you crawl out your shell.” The man finished shrugging nonchalantly. Robert was about to interject but your mouth was quicker than his. The men of the cast were disgusted at the man while they sat at the edge of their seats.

“Well last time I checked my contract, my job was to act, not sleep around with the men who are part of these movies.” You spoke into the mic. All the attention was on you while the room was at a standstill.

“It’s also very upsetting that you think a girl needs to be fucked in order to be confident in herself. I hate to break it to you but women are completely capable of turning their lives around without the help of men and that says a lot about you, sir. So if I were you, I’d take myself back to my seat and rethink my life because if one of us has to redesign our brains it’s you.” You finished as you placed your mic on your lap. The room was silent until the cast began to clap. This was your first time standing up for yourself, usually Robert or Scarlett would swoop in and save you but this time, you were saving yourself.

You shook your head as you blushed, shoving your head in your hands. You felt some pats on the backs and cheers from your dysfunctional family. You look up and see Scarlett and Elizabeth smiling at you proudly.

“Isn’t she amazing?” Robert asked the crowd as he hugged you. The crowd cheering you on.

Just like magic, your life felt like a dream come true, knowing that you were worth it and enough for the people around you and for yourself.

[anarchosimdicalist]

some dumb jocks for @rainymoodlet/@kissmeinkomorebi's bc

lou larson (contestant)

bisexual bigender butch (she/he)

adult (43)

maker, gloomy, goofball

renaissance sim aspiration

5'9

divorcedest bitch in komorebi

good with kids, has such dad energy you forget he doesn't have any

he's funny but sometimes you have to stop him mid joke to go "hey are you ok?????"

not as committed a jock as katsuo, but definitely makes an effort to keep fit, if only to make herself leave the house.

very handy - aside from woodwork, she fixes cars for fun.

hino katsuo (outsider)

none gender with left gay (he/they)

adult (38)

active, adventurous, childish

extreme sports enthusiast

5'11

dumbass slutty jock with negative impulse control and a heart of gold

a little bit of an adrenaline junkie, always looking for a new way to put himself in mild danger.

he has a tendency to make big plans for holidays or ambitious projects - and then follows through on maybe a third of them.

was a little bit of a musician back in the day - never made it big, but the important thing is he knows his way around sound equipment.

backstory under the cut - it got WAY too long but we move.

There's a story Lou likes to tell, after she's had a few drinks and she's feeling talkative. He takes one last sip to lubricate, clears his throat dramatically, and everyone leans in to listen.

"Okay, so it's Moonlight Falls. Almost 20 years ago, now? They've got this Lumberee thing going on. I used to go when I was a kid, see, and even now I'm a big grown-up boy going out on my own, I still come back every year to eat my dad's food and, fuckin', I don't know, check out the music. They have this little wood-carving competition but I only ever watch for ideas, 'cause I'm a cocky little 20something shit still and I think I'm way too cool for it.

"Except this one year there's a lady." Pause for wolf-whistles, or "aww"s, depending on the crowd. "I've been flirting with her hard, and it's going pretty smooth. I mean, she's so into me it's kind of embarrassing for her. She says she loves the woodcarving competition but I say these guys are all hacks, I've made better easily. And she doesn't believe me, but I've backed myself into a corner now and the only way out is through, so I say I'll enter so I can get her dinner with the winnings.

"It's actually way cooler than I thought. There's this old, old guy who does it every year, some teenager whose friends talked him into it, all sorts. But my favourite is this dude from out of town who entered on a whim, like me. We chat while we work and we really hit it off. Few years down the line, I switch on the TV, guess who that guy turned into? Fucking Daniel Taylor." Sometimes someone will ask "who?" and Lou will launch into a tangent. "Who? Daniel Taylor. Your Dad's Garage Daniel Taylor? Come on, man, you've seen Your Dad's Garage. Well, you should. Look it up. He's great, and he's just as nice in person. He was a really interesting guy, had some good stories - not bad to look at either. We could've been friends, probably, but I look up from the chair I'm making and I see the girl watching me, and our eyes meet across the tent, and I remember - oh, yeah, I'm not here to make friends."

And this is where his story has to diverge a little. The grand finale used to be easy - he would reach for her wife's hand, or fix her with an adoring look, or, if she wasn't around, affect a boyish, half-ironic bragging tone, and he'd say, "So I kicked Daniel Taylor's ass. My chair blows his and everyone else's out of the water, I win us a good fancy dinner and then some, and I've been with her ever since."

As it turns out, it loses its gravitas once the girl leaves you. If she changes the ending, says "and I was with that girl for almost 20 years before she told me I was "messy" and "incapable of taking her seriously" and kicked me out of her house, taking all of our mutual friends with her", the love story feels hollow. If she skips over it, it feels dishonest, and it all starts falling apart at the first follow-up question. This story is meant to end happily ever after. It isn't meant to end with Lou living on his gym buddy's futon, crying periodically and watching old Your Dad's Garage episodes because they remind him of her.

But life isn't a story, and Katsuo is getting worried. When Lou first moved in, she was somewhere between an aquaintance and a friend. They worked out together if they were both around, and Katsuo let her shower at their nearby house when he mentioned feeling off in the gendered public ones at the gym, but they rarely hung out otherwise. Still, though - when she nervously asked if Katsuo wanted a roommate after her divorce, he jumped at the chance. Sure, he needed help with the rent, but living alone had been rough - maybe they'd get a friend out of it too.

It's been months now, and get a friend they did. The two of them are inseparable, their daily routines intertwined - they work out together, cook together, Lou even got Katsuo into her favourite show (and that woodworker is one fine DILF). But the more Katsuo gets to know Lou, the more he starts to worry. He can hardly expect her to be over a relationship so long-term in a few months, but he's grown fond of her now, to the point where seeing her in this state is painful.

Katsuo's solution only makes Lou wonder if his new best friend is an evil genius or a complete idiot. Her interest in Daniel's show was minimal - he hates nostalgic cashgrabs just a little more than he loves Daniel's work - but when they suggested he go on, he couldn't deny being intrigued. When they added that they had always wanted to go up Mt Komorebi, and that maybe a little sound guy work could help cover some of those travel expenses, she laughed so hard she almost forgot about her divorce for a minute. The application process was a drunken evening filling out forms and laughing. Neither one of them had planned on it actually working.

[sumrot]

I think the only thing worse than self loathing over your appearance is the immediate shame and guilt for even caring about it so much. Like oh not only am I ugly but I’m also vapid and superficial and spoiled because women are dying all over the world i don’t say this as a judgment because I know exactly how you feel. I have a big ass honker for a nose. And I didn’t really start thinking that until I started following Bella hadid on Instagram when she was 17, I must have been 16. She was just like popular hot la Instagram account popularity at the time and I shit you not I thought she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. I became OBSESSED. I scrolled through all of her photos and her friends and it didn’t take long before I realized she’d had a nose job.. so I became obsessed with nose jobs and the day I graduated high school and could go off at get one. I’m not in the yearbook for half of high school because I wouldn’t go to school on picture day because of how ugly I looked in photos. I fucking hated myself. When I was 18 I found a dr and was going to go through with it. My dad agreed to pay but asked me to go to one more consultation to be sure. I went to another and he told me any doctor who would operate on me was a bad dr. My profile isn’t bad but my nose is super wide with a long tip. Anyways he freaked me the fuck out. I was off my meds and stopped going to therapy and gained 25 pounds which made my AA boobs look even sadder and smaller. So overnight I decided getting a boob job would have to work. I’m 5”10 and like the rest of my body so I decided I would have to just settle for being a “butterface” it’s been 5 years and I fucking hate my ugly ass plastic tits. I have huge scars on my tits and they’re so obviously fake and uneven and my nipples which where so little and cute before are huge and scarred. I don’t tell anyone I’ve had them done because I’m so ashamed and embarrassed. And it’s seriously negatively affected my sex and dating life. I’ve convinced myself it doesn’t matter how cool or alternative I become, the second people find out I have fake tits everything else about me becomes moot point. Doesn’t matter I went to good college or am funny or charming. First thing that’ll come up about me is my fake boobs I know it. And I’m too embarrassed to get them taken out because then I’ll have to tell everyone including my best friends I’ve made in the past year that not only did I have them done but I’ve been keeping it a secret for 4 years????? Needless to say this whole time I’ve been torturing myself with how happy and how beautiful I would’ve been with a nose job. How I wouldn’t care if people knew I had had one. Screaming crying fits. The horror waking up the next day to these rock hard swollen fake plastic bags in my chest and the indescribable pain of having had my muscles torn up to put them in. I don’t know why I’m saying all of this. I just felt compelled to share. You aren’t alone. I’m catastrophizing my plastic surgery baggage while people are being shot for not wearing a hijab. It is superficial and it sucks. But it still has caused me an insane amount of distress and anxiety and altered my interactions with the world &the people around me. I wish so badly I deleted my Instagram earlier, had better parents and people in my life to make sure I wasn’t behaving manically and irrationally&most of all that I didn’t give a fuck about my goddamn ugliness. Who fucking cares. Honestly being cool and different and having style and embracing your ugliness has so much much more value in the world than trying to mitigate beauty. Really. I admire women who aren’t pretty but they’re fucking rad. Chloe sivengySofia Coppola Juliette Lewis.I’ll also say that the intensity surrounding these things ebbs and flows depending on your mental state. You’re not in a good space right now so these things feel all encompassing and physically painful and traumatizing. But this isn’t a new reality you have to navigate. Its a fucked up headspace that won’t go away but will become incredibly smaller& less painful.

There's a couple things I want to say. first of all, I don't believe in playing the comparison game when it comes to people's problems. People are but a speck of dust on this Earth, but when you live here and exist in a body then you are perceiving everything from that point and it's not fair to compare your plight with someone else's. So it's completely valid that you feel this way or are experiencing life this way and I am sorry. I am sorry for all of us. Secondly, i want to believe that ugliness is really celebrated...I really do. Fact of the matter is though that all those women you listed are thin, which is the beauty standard. I've always been heavier compared to my peers so it provides no solace.

[equizona]

Shielding Embrace

Fandom: Obey Me!

Characters: Mammon

Format: Drabble

Warning(s): Mentions of abuse(?) Angst(with a happy ending), crying, swearing, calling Lucifer a stuck up little bitch, OOC.

Summary: MC is tired of hearing Mammon get picked on so often, by his own brothers no less. As the second-born demon has always protected them, they think it's their turn to protect him.

Note: I wrote this a while ago, since I'm tIRED of Mammon getting bullied all the time. He deserves better-

"Diavolo, stop being such a scumbag Mammon-"

It wasn't uncommon that the brothers would call the second-born mean words. Scumbag was their favorite, along with dumb or stupid. You agreed that he didn't always make the best choices, but they were always so cruel about it. It never gave off the vibes that they were only joking either. It was like they meant every word.

You hated it with your whole being. Mammon had been the nicest to you, and he had been the one who had been there with you since the start, ever since Lucifer made him your 'guardian' in a way. He wasn't the best at showing his emotions, but you could tell he cared. Sometimes, it felt like he was the only one who cared.

You wanted to shout, or scream at them, for all the cruel things they would say to him. He deserved better than that. He was their brother, so why were they always so mean to him?

"MC? Are you okay?" You were forced out of your mind by Satan's annoyingly Loud question that brought the attention of everyone at the table to the two of you.

You remember when he tried to kill you. You remember when all of them tried to kill you. You remembered when Belphie actually killed you.

All those times never quite left your mind, and you could still feel the fear you felt in each of those situations. Mammon was the only one of them you felt completely comfortable with anymore, as he was the only one who never seemed to lose control and attempt to harm you.

You decided you wanted to stand up for him like he stood up for you all the time.

"Actually, no, I'm not. What's wrong with you guys?"

Satan's eye twitched, and it was oddly satisfying. You could see all of the brothers about to speak up about what you'd said, though you didn't give them that chance.

"I don't understand why all of you keep calling Mammon a scumbag. Is it because he's greedy? 'Cause if that is the case, then I want to remind you that greed is his sin. He's the avatar of greed. And I mean, why get mad about him for that? As far as I remember, all of you don't ever try to deny your sins."

You didn't feel satisfied just yet, so you decided to continue. You wanted to make them feel just as horrible as you assumed Mammon felt each time they threw those words at him.

"I mean, Lucifer is a stuck-up little bitch with too much pride and he can't ever seem to apologize or see that it's his fault no matter how obvious it is. Leviathan is constantly envious of everything to the point it can be fucking unbearable. Satan has extreme anger issues, and gets angry at the smallest things and Asmo is constantly flirting with people and usually not stopping until he's in their pants. And please, don't even get me started on Beel. Then of course, Belphie just seems to never bother lifting a finger to help anyone. But I never see anyone complaining about all of that, do I? It's not like any of you do anything to deny the sin you are assigned to, so why do you expect Mammon to do it, hmm?"

You raised your eyebrow in a judgemental way, just to add that extra spite. You could clearly see Mammon's shocked expression.

You preferred watching the reactions of the others more though. Beel looked guilty to some degree, Asmo looked offended, Levi and Belphie looked annoyed at the whole thing while Satan and Lucifer looked downright pissed.

You could see that Mammon was about to say something, probably about how he was okay and you should calm down, and Satan looked ready to snap and attack you, again. Though neither of them had the chance to react before Lucifer stood up while slamming his hands down on the table, glaring at you.

"Excuse me? Run that by me again, won't you?"

You'd normally apologize and leave the room to do something else, but you were tired with their bullshit and this just seemed like yet another way you could call them out on it.

So, you gathered up all of your courage and looked Lucifer straight in the eye, glaring at him as well, despite the fact you knew it would have little to no use.

"Or what? Are you going to try and kill me again? Because let me remind you that all of you have attacked me before, except Mammon. Oh, and of course, one of you actually managed to kill me. Remember that, Belphie?" You shot him a mean look, and at least he seemed to have some guilt over the situation.

"And you know, Lucifer probably would have killed me before as well, hadn't it been for Lord Diavolo. Oh, but you never quite did apologize for that, did you? You never apologized to Luke for attacking him either, did you? And it's because you have so much pride. Because you're so high and mighty and you can never do anything wrong, can you? Ah, but nobody ever tells you that, do they? Because they know it's the sin you represent and they know it's a part of who you are."

Lucifer blinked at you, shocked, and nobody else seemed like they were going to say anything either.

"Actually, in my opinion, I think Mammon is the least 'scummy' and 'lowlife' person in this room. And he somehow managed to be the one with the most control. Seriously, at this point I'm certain that you all only ever say those things to him because you all know you're the real lowlives and you're just too pathetic to admit it."

You didn't want to stay there anymore, and since they all seemed to shocked to say or do anything, you stood up and quickly made your way to your room, though it wasn't long until someone was knocking on your door.

"Uh, human..?"

Mammon's voice.

You almost wanted to cry. He didn't usually knock, he preferred to just barge in with his stupidly cheerful attitude that never failed to make you smile.

"You can come in."

You voiced it quietly, a small part of you hoping that he wouldn't hear you and just leave instead, but seconds after he opened the door and let himself in.

He didn't say anything as he sat down next to you on your bed though, most likely trying to figure out what he should say in a situation like this.

What you weren't expecting was to hear the sounds of sobbing.

Worriedly, you say up and moved next to him, concern filling your entire body as you gently put your arms around his shoulders and made him lean on your chest.

"Hey, hey, shh, are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?"

You tried to make your voice as gentle as possible. You weren't entirely sure what to do, but you never liked it when he was sad. His negative expressions and tears always layed heavy on your heart, so much that it was almost unbearable.

"Did- did you mea-mean it-?"

He stuttered out after a few minutes of you running your hand through his hair in an attempt to calm him down. You frowned, not entirely sure which part he was asking about.

"Which part are we talking about specifically?" You questioned him, though you made sure that your voice was soft.

"All of it." As soon as he answered your question, he got out of your embrace only to put his hands around your neck for a hug. You grinned, hugging him back.

"Of course I was. You're the one that's been there for me since I came here, and while I can agree that you don't always make the best decisions, they don't always make the best decisions either. They are your brothers, and they should never be saying things like that to you. Actually, from now on, each and every time they say something mean towards you, I want you to come to me so I can smother you in my love and affection."

Oh shit, fuck, did you just-

"Wait- like- uh- no- uhm- like in a-a, uh-"

He moved away from you, and you wondered if he regretted that considering how red his face was. You'd probably burn your hand if you touched his face at this point.

"I'm sorry, but you're going to have to say that again."

You gave him a patient smile, wanting him to feel comfortable. You were almost certain that he liked you back, since he wasn't exactly very good at hiding it, but you hadn't wanted to act on it before now incase you made him uncomfortable or that you were wrong.

Though his reaction only made you more certain.

He took a few moments to collect himself, before trying to speak up again, though he didn't seem able to look you in the eyes.

"Do, uh- do you mean like- like in a, uh, a rom-uhm.."

"Romantic?"

You inquired softly, and to your delight he nodded, still not looking at you.

This wasn't exactly a side of him you saw often, since he would usually try and deny anything, but you were happy about it.

You moved to hold his face in your hands, though he still refused to look you in the eyes.

"If you want to. I'm not sure how you feel, since nobody but you can be certain about that, but I know I like you, and wouldn't mind smothering your face in kisses each day."

Your tone was playful, be genuine. You felt his face heat up even more, if that was even possible. He changed the direction of his gaze to look directly into your eyes, and you felt like you would get lost in the ocean his eyes had.

He leaned forward for another hug, and you grinned, barely taking a single second to process it before you were moving your hands to hug him back.

"I like ya too."

You grinned even brighter, squeezing him tighter. You didn't ever want to leave his embrace, and while you knew that you would have to face both his brothers and the world later, it would be a lot easier with him by your side.

[xaibaugrove]

Everyone in the Krew is Problematic

I was inspired to go on this rant by someone who recently brought up a question in a server I’m in, asking why so many people in the fandom seem to hate Mako and Makorra and why. This wouldn’t be the first time I defend Mako and it most likely won’t be the last, but it might be the first time I tear him and everyone else in the Krew down in the process, only to bring them back up. Hear me out though.

I think I’ve totally accepted that a lot of people in this fandom will always hate Mako and that I will have to perpetually defend him, I understand that this is the relationship I’ve chosen with this world. But what I still will never understand are the reasons why people hate/dislike him because compared to how much they love other characters in the Krew who honestly aren’t that much better than him (in some cases, even worse!), it doesn’t make any sense.

Let me also preface this by saying, I love these characters with all my heart and soul, probably more than I should love fictional characters, but this is the life I live and with that being said, I am going to tear them apart just to prove a point. Okay, here we go.

MAKO

Most of his detractors list the usual criticisms, which are valid when isolated. He cheated on Asami, he lied to Korra, he was a terrible boyfriend and essentially he treated the women he claimed to love or care about horribly. Gee, it’s almost like the man was a teenager with no experience in having long-lasting, healthy relationships and was raised in the streets by gangmembers while doing anything to survive and provide for his younger sibling after seeing his parents killed right in front of him and suddenly being orphaned…

I think Mako has been torn down enough, so I won’t get too deep into the tearing down part for him. It really does baffle me how someone can claim to be woke and not comprehend how someone coming from poverty could possibly be a product of their environment. Like, does everyone think that poor people automatically have hearts of gold and turn out like Little Orphan Annie? Why are people surprised that when someone has a shitty life, they might do shitty things?

Also, sooo many people love Zuko, who actively tried to cause harm to Aang, Katara and Sokka numerous times, and sympathize with his troubled past. But like, sure Zuko had an abusive father and his mother peaced out of his life for whatever reasons but at least he had his uncle. Mako had his parents for maybe 8 years before they were murdered in front of him and then had...no one for the next 10 years? Except for Bolin, sure, but no other parental figure in his life. Dude literally had to become him and his brother’s own parent and joined a gang to survive, and after all that, the worst he does is acts as a bad boyfriend toward Korra and Asami and he is instantly thrown to the wolves. Something doesn’t add up. It’s just...I don’t get it.

Yes, the way he treated people was bad, but people can grow? That’s a thing humans can do. And he was a teenager, my god. No, we cannot allow our past to be an excuse for how we treat others, but we have to be aware that there is a growth process to being human. And being human in and of itself, isn’t pretty. You think Mako is problematic? Don’t get me started on your fave.

KORRA

Ok, I love this woman to death but she is ridiculously problematic. She pursued someone in a relationship and essentially forced Mako to cheat on Asami by kissing him against his will, that’s already pretty awful and shows a lack of empathy on her part, also kissing people without their consent is no bueno. But also I just have to say it for the people who might not know this. One of the fundamental reasons why Makorra didn’t work was because KORRA WAS ABUSIVE. Okay? It wasn’t just that Mako was inadequate at relationships and didn’t know how to people, it wasn’t that she was secretly confused and wanting Asami the entire time (biphobia at it’s best) one of the main problems in the pairing was that Korra was crazy abusive towards Mako. Seriously, why don’t I see this more often in those discussions??

If we need examples, I have dozens. Honestly, it’s really easy to see how terrible Korra was to Mako, I’d actually argue that she treated him worse than he treated her. I mean, they were both terrible to one another, but in Korra’s case she went through the motions of being completely infatuated with your first teenage crush, getting with said crush, then crashing and burning once you realize that you have no idea how to treat a romantic partner so after the butterflies wear off you subject them to all the wonderful aspects of your anger issues. Not only did she scream at Mako during every argument they had, she also threatened him with bodily harm if she got really angry. Remember how their relationship crashed and burned in Book 2? Here are the things that Korra did during that time. Let me reiterate, this was not okay.

Mako is visibly shaken by this!

This woman burst into her boyfriend’s place of work and violently kicked his desk out from in front of him with all his coworkers present. That is not normal behavior. That is a red flag. And after she came back, had amnesia or whatever and forgot they broke up after that scene, let’s not forget that Mako was legitimately Afraid to break up with her again. Korra made her partner frightened that they might suffer bodily harm if they upset her. Again, and I can’t stress this enough, this is not okay!

The little scene in Book 3 when Korra is lifting Mako like 100 feet off the ground with airbending while he’s screaming in fear just to make Asami laugh is cute, right? I’ll admit, I loved that little moment too, it’s one of the only instances of Korrasami development that we got, but also, there were sooo many things wrong with that scene lol. Not only does Korra terrify Mako for literally no reason, it’s also sort of just her continuing to exercise some degree of power over him for her own amusement. Almost like a subtle reminder to him saying, “I am stronger than you in every way and I can break your femur like a twig if I wanted to… but I won’t, so look how much fun we’re having!”

Now of course, there are reasons why Korra acts like this. She was isolated for almost her entire life and never learned how to treat people and be around people. The Avatar is human because they must live amongst the people they protect and that helps them develop empathy and cherish life. The White Lotus deprived her of that fundamental aspect of her duty as the Avatar and it showed throughout the beginning of the series. Clearly, she was young, didn’t see how her actions could negatively affect others and hurt the feelings of not just her partner but also friends and family (she was really awful towards a lot of people in her life!). But as the series went on, we see her having less outbursts and learning to control her temper more.

One can only assume that she does not have the same behavior with Asami because for one, I don’t think Asami would play that shit, she seems like she would electrocute a bitch in a heartbeat and not hesitate if needed, but also Korra is not the same shitty partner she used to be as a teenager. Again, kids do stupid things. Adults do stupid things. And we learn and we grow. Korra will probably make some more mistakes in her relationship with Asami. I don't think anyone can have one bad relationship and suddenly learn all the lessons they can from it and have a perfect one the next go around. I can totally picture Korra losing her temper and raising her voice at Asami if she gets frustrated and forgets who she’s dealing with. Managing anger issues is hard, I know this from experience, and it doesn’t magically get easier. Of course, if Korra does pop off, Asami would definitely put her in her place because she’s a bad bitch who doesn’t take anyone’s shit, next character.

ASAMI

You know her, you love her, you fantasize about her and you probably have her on your list of fictional characters you would totally bang if you had the chance (I know I do), yes, even your best girl is problematic. It’s interesting to me that a lot of people sympathize with Asami and very few openly criticize her (so few that I’ve never seen anyone say a bad thing about her). What’s there to criticize though? The poor girl was cheated on by Mako, had her feelings disregarded by Korra, who claimed to be her friend but pursued her then-boyfriend behind her back and then made up for it by simping for her for the rest of her life? Also her mom was murdered when she was just 6 years old, her father threatened to kill her once and physically abused her, then died right after they started repairing their relationship, essentially making her an orphan at the ripe age of 22. Suffice it to say, Asami has been through it.

So, how could she be problematic, you ask? Why, of course, through the classic Bryke technique of romance progression in storylines called Kissing People Without Their Consent

To be honest, I did gloss over this with Korra, simply because there were sooo many other issues with that woman and I just couldn’t go through every single one in as much detail but that doesn’t negate how serious this whole sneak attack kissing thing is. Sure, Asami is very emotional and lonely and sort of desperate too, (it's a little sad, really) but Mako is clearly uncomfortable and completely caught off guard by the kiss. This is also the second time this happens to him in the series! There are a couple factors that might contribute to why Asami does this and acts this way, maybe Korra’s general awfulness rubbed off on her (don’t make a dirty joke) but this is still wrong.

AND that’s...pretty much it. Kissing people without their permission is a big no no, though. Not wanting to gloss over that, but Asami really is a good person who just did a not-so-great thing. Getting burned by Mako twice probably made her a little less inclined to be as forward with anyone though, and it looks like she now takes her time and is patient in her relationship with Korra. It even seems like Asami is the only person Korra is afraid to upset, as Korra does seem more gentle and calm when around her. And who knows? Maybe Asami living a life where a majority of the time she got whatever she wanted when she wanted it might have also influenced her to be more assertive or even imposing within her relationships.

If anything, those three fools getting into relationships with each other just showed how not ready they were to be in relationships in the first place and also how not okay they were.

BOLIN

Originally I titled this as “Everyone in the Krew is problematic (except Bolin)” but then I remembered that Bolin totally kissed a woman without her consent so I deleted the shit out of that!

This asshole looks genuinely pleased with himself after essentially assaulting Ginger. Not a good look.

Sure, Bolin is baby. He will always be baby to me. But that does not erase the fact that he also actively supported a fascist dictator. Not only was the kissing without consent thing bad, but there’s also that. No matter how many times people around him warned him about the fact that he was on the wrong side of things, that he was helping someone who was putting people into concentration camps...Bolin wanted to believe the best of Kuvira. He ignored obvious signs that the woman was a dictator committing human rights violations like crazy and you know, there’s gotta be a reason for that too.

Maybe Bolin wanted to feel like he was doing something good for once. When you think about it, with his role as the comic relief in the Krew, and sort of constantly being infantilized by his older brother, I wouldn’t be surprised if the man developed some insecurity in his ability to do anything good or useful for anyone without screwing it up in some way. In Kuvira’s army, it seemed like he was actually taken seriously, he felt like he was doing something that mattered. Korra had being the Avatar, Asami had her business and mindblowing philanthropy (honestly, her ability to be as charitable as she is profitable is insane) and Mako had his police work (ACAB, tho). Bolin had...the role of being a joke. A superficial actor. A former pro-bending meathead.

Bolin lived his entire life following after his brother that once they were adults and Mako finally decided to live his own life for once, it left Bolin completely lost. And lost young men are perfect recruits for fascists.

So, in conclusion, my whole reasoning behind destroying the integrity of my favorite characters is to prove a huge point. All of these characters are problematic. They have flaws, some bigger than others (looking at you, Korra. Just...wow), but ultimately, even if your fave is problematic... that’s okay. A lot of people, mostly younger people it seems, are really obsessed with being right about everything that they do and stan. And that’s a wonderful thing, so much change has come about by the younger generations calling out people who do fucked up shit, don’t want or try to improve, and get away with it. But it’s also caused a lot of people to be unforgiving and completely unwilling to acknowledge when people do improve and try to be better.

Personally, I love my problematic Krew because having issues that you’re constantly working on internally is human. It’s human to make mistakes, it’s human to grow from those mistakes. And it’s inspiring to me, who is wholly imperfect, to see myself reflected in fictional characters who aren’t perpetuating unrealistic ideals of human nature, characters who are messy, crazy and ultimately human.

As one of my favorite manga artists and queen of impeccable character creation Rumiko Takahashi once said:

“I think that perfect people are not very interesting.”

And I will always wholeheartedly agree.