#and i completely understand
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I have a lot of incredible things to say about Ode to Castlevania DLC but for now all I can say is that Alucard is so broken for this type of game. And I LOVE it.
#you get like 4 bonus abilities on top of everything else you can normally build up#one of which is soul steal#also he does really well with sonia's sonic whip#all i can say is that the devs really really love their nerdy dhampir#and i completely understand#current goal is to get the rest of the belmonts plus maria grant and sypha#tl;dr i am obsessed with this game#akumajou dracula#castlevania#vampire survivors
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jeon doyeon’s acting is so brilliant. her teary eyes when talking about her mother genuinely made my eyes water for a bit too
#i checked out her wiki and it says tho she’s not as popular she’s critically acclaimed#and rookie actresses site her a lot as their insp#and i completely understand#crash course in romance#kdrama
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"Boy please."
God so now that I finally made this blog to spare those on my main accounts I can scream about my TFP viewing so far with wild abandon and post my screenshots. This bit killed me. Starscream FULLY committing to this story and Knockout's sheer level of bewilderment. LOOK AT HIS FACE
Starscream you're literally telling the friggin medic your arm fell off and not just any medic. KO is a medic who's 'better at breaking them than fixing them' so he'll be even more acutely aware of force levels needed to be applied for certain injuries such as, oh Idk, an arm detachment.
And then KO being like "my dude you're fuckin lying but getting a proper answer ain't worth the argument so lemme take the time to find you another arm" and Starscream is like "nvm"
His sheer dumbfounded expressions kill me.
'BITCH'
Same energy as:
#why is this so accurate#starscream#knockout#tfp#HIS ARM JUST FALLS OFF#transformers prime#transfomers#knockout is so fed up with him#and I completely understand#The chicken is not amused#He was totally minding his own business#Not trying to raise an undead Skyquake#maccadam
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Don’t mind me I just like to see him go bananas about cartoonish Autobot rules
Maaan…..if Prowl was in tfp he would spontaneously combust at least once a day
#maccadam#transformers#prowl#tf prowl#there is no Prowl in Tfp so Optimus can pull all kinds of heroic cartoonish bullshit#and only Ratchet actually calls him out on it#but Ratchet also kinda has soft spot for Optimus#Op does sad eyes and Ratchet is like okay okay sorry I understand#Prowl would see the whole situation and lose his marbles immediately ahahahah#lol hey hey you. two people who read tags. imagine little au realquick#Autobots find the escape pod with Smokescreen right#but there’s two bots instead of one#back on the base humans look at the new guys and like#Smokey is fun and energetic and eager for heroism and adventure#and then there’s Prowl. The final boss. The ultimate MOM.#He makes one step into base and immediately starts scolding Optimus and everyone except for Ratchet#agent Fowler listens to him talking and decides that Prowl is his favorite autobot#damn. Prowl would SO not approve keeping humans around. Kids would hate him#but also he would be completely right. Because by keeping humans that close Autobots basically show that the humans can be used as leverage#against them you know.#He would immediately suggest getting rid of kids and hiring actual competent adults instead. So all hacking can be done by professionals#and all infiltrating can be done by people who are at least old enough to drink you know#yea kids would haaaate him so much#he would also build make all kinds of little annoying gadgets bc I have read Covenant of Primus and tfp Prowl is smart like that#he would be going around sticking trackers on every enemy he fights#and then triangulating Cons positions by the coordinates where their signals stop tracking#bc Nemesis blocks them#He would also keep sending Smokey to ghost through walls and steal all kinds of valuable shit from Megsy#they would be such a menace together#man this is getting kinda long I should probably stop
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something that drives me insane on a relatively regular basis as a body jewelry understander is talking to people who have sensitive skin who are like "oh well I just can't wear any earrings without my ears getting inflamed" and I say "well what have you tried" and they say "well I've tried sterling silver and I've tried gold..." and it's like. ok. I don't know how gold and sterling somehow got spun by the jewelry industry as being especially good for sensitive skin but whenever I'm like "well have you tried implant grade titanium" they're always like "no....... but I've tried sterling silver... and it didn't work ..." like. I don't know how this narrative about sterling silver somehow got so strong but when they put pins in your fucking legs when you snap your leg in half are those pins made of sterling silver or are they made of implant grade titanium or surgical steel????????? HELLO. HI. YOU MIGHT BENEFIT FROM TRYING IMPLANT GRADE TITANIUM I AM JUST SAYING
#if I have had this conversation with you. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at whoever lied to you about various metals.#look I completely understand if your body happens to think that your piercing is an open wound for two decades#I have been there.#and I promise you the answer. is implant grade titanium.#there are many solutions to this problem one of them is implant grade titanium the other is surgical steel sometimes.#the other is sometimes if you can stretch the piercing to like... 10g#you can put a surgical grade silicone sleeve in there and then you can use cheaper metals for earrings#because they will not be touching your flesh they will be touching the silicone sleeve.#anyway the point is#someone should pay me to be some sort of piercing advisor.#there has been a lot of progress made in the area of body safe metals in the last 50 years is the thing#and we are fortunate enough to live now and not 50 years ago.#the mainstream jewelry industry has not exactly caught up with this.
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BOONE: bitch scoot over… i love yall…
#twisters#twisters spoilers#twistersedit#brandon perea#daisy-edgar jones#glen powell#filmedit#filmgifs#moviegifs#usereri#*#boone#kate carter#tyler owens#and i understand him completely#blood tw
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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understanding academic concepts got me blushing swinging my legs giggling
#dude I spent like 3h trying to understand one algorithm yesterday & wrote the messiest most confusing ever paragraph abt it to the thesis#only to have a WAIT A MINUTE-moment today and completely rewriting that in like 20minutes#dont wanna say yesterday was wasted bc I'm sure that was just the thinking process I had to go through to get it to my head#studyblr#uni studyblr#april 2024#2024
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thank u canon plant nerd megumi for my life
bonus:
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiguro megumi#yuji itadori#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#itadori yuuji#megumi#yuuji#middle one FOUGHT oh my god#angle/arm position/watering can/expression NONE of it wld go right#took 2 hours to get the lines only to realize upon laying down flats that it was still Completely off#so i took a break to bake an entire cake came back n finally it started cooperating#tbh idk if im still shaking off ytd's weird funk or what but this took ages longer than it should have#but its ok bc florist/botanist/general plant nerd megu is free serotonin 2 me#i could not decide on one apron 2 give him#but then i remembered he is th type 2 take his hobby Very seriously of course he would own multiple#looks at the hydrangeas listen . listen I Know i ws bemoaning having 2 draw so many cursing their name etc etc#but u dont understand he had to be holding one he just had to. he told me so. he held a gun 2 my head and said U Know What To Do#and i said ok ok ok ok#there r only 2 i survived#and i wld do anything fr him as we well know . cuffs his jeans puts leaves in his hair <3#jjk may have given me trust issues depression anxiety etc but it Also gave me flowerboy megu and i think that balances it out :)#edit added the bonus here bc reblogs dont show up in the main tags enjoy itfs gross flirting mwah <3
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princess tutu: die jahreszeiten 🌸
kind of a companion piece to my 2022 ptutu drawing | it's on inprnt
this print was at anime north; next con is otakuthon!
oops so my hand slipped and i made another princess tutu drawing. i admittedly don't watch that much anime so my catalogue of work is gonna be the same 5 animes LMAO. what can i say, i love "dark" fairy tales, and i've been really enjoying the more fine art approach to a lot of my drawings as of late (and the watercolour brush i've been using has been so perfect for that...!)
as my first princess tutu drawing is now 2 years old, there are some areas i've grown to have ... qualms with... although both drawings as a whole are pretty much exactly what i envisioned, and that's always satisfying!
both of these were drawn in roughly a week's time (yes really...) for con crunch period (and i went back to this drawing after the con to touch up some areas that were a bit rough!). i wanted a different approach to this new pt drawing, with the focus on the line work, rather than on colours and lighting in the 2022 drawing.
this drawing had 2 goals: to continue the style i adopted in my witch hat atelier "lantern bearers" drawing (which i promise i'll post in full soon as soon as all of the zine artists get their go-ahead to post their pieces!), and to emulate the art nouveau movement's heavy emphasis on line work, albeit not a 1:1 style replication of course.
the seasons also aren't a 1:1 representation, as i didn't necessarily pick flowers or colours that are most strongly associated with the season (e.g. summer being a dark tone is a bold choice?). but it's kinda whatever, as i said before i drew this in a week, there may be more appropriate flowers with better meanings. i couldn't spend too too much time drafting and researching.
FLOWER SYMBOLISM:
- spring: apple blossoms, tulips - the apple blossom is a quintessential spring flower, and thus symbolize the arrival of spring. spring is a season of change, which ahiru/princess tutu is a force of, instigating change in her friends and unravelling the story around her. the flowers below her are tulips, and there are many meanings to tulips depending on the colour, due to their ubiquitous nature. i narrowed on one, and intended for them to symbolize happiness. princess tutu's pose is one in which that is open, inviting, and warm - reflecting her nurturing nature in the series, and her willingness to help others achieve happiness.
- summer: deadly nightshade flower, yellow rose - i chose for rue/princess kraehe to symbolize a fiery summer's night instead of the typical dazzling heat of a summer's day, a rather bold and unusual choice. the warmth of sunshine didn't quite fit, as the character is quite dramatic and passionate, with her intentions often hidden in shadow. next, the deadly nightshade - atropa belladonna - has a lot of mythological associations, a lot to do with poisoning, as the flower is toxic. the flowers bloom at night (another reason why i picked a nighttime backdrop for "summer") and also outwardly match rue's dark design scheme, as the cherry on top. yellow roses, at the bottom of her frame, are the archetypal flower depicting jealousy (as with many yellow flowers are), and at one point in the story, rue only wished for her own happiness at the misfortune of others.
- autumn: douglas fir needles, orange calla lily - autumn is another season of change - although much more tumultuous, as this season is traditionally taken to prepare for a long winter ahead - fitting for fakir as the role of the storyteller. the douglas fir is not a flower of course, but is a tree - with many different parts of this tree offering many benefits in advance of the winter season. i wanted the versatile nature of the douglas fir to reflect on fakir's dependable personality. next up, the calla lily is a flower with a dual meaning - on one hand you have life, on the other you have death. a storyteller quite literally can grant both at the tip of their fingers.
- winter: birch tree, snowdrop - winter is a rather still and unchanging season, a lull in the passage of time. this symbolizes mytho's passive nature at the start of the series, especially with his doleful pose here, as if almost in hibernation. to contrast, mytho is perched on the branches of a birch tree, which means new beginnings and renewal - as mytho is one of the characters that undergo the most change throughout the series (i'd argue the most?), regaining pieces of his heart. under mytho's frame is the snowdrop flower - and if you've read my witch hat atelier: seasons piece symbolisms, one of the snowdrop's meanings is rebirth, with connotations to the bible, bringing hope, when all had forsaken eve. the snowdrop is one of the first flowers to bloom even when the snow has not yet fully melted, further echoing mytho as an analogy for rebirth.
#princess tutu#ptutu#ahiru#fakir#mytho#rue (princess tutu)#fakir (princess tutu)#mytho (princess tutu)#ahiru (princess tutu)#my art#im not much of a painter but painting the curtains was kinda fun... got lost in the sauce every single time i tackled that area#so i think i understand why people paint now#im free from con deadlines for a little while so i might try my hand at oc stuff...#and i want to get better at my sketch/doodle style too bc admittedly it takes way too long to draw anything and i want to change that#which is why ive been doing the lineless style for sticker sheets and keeping them pretty basic and rough!! im happy with em#i only know how to 'complete' drawings really so . lot of sketching ahead this summer hopefully..#artists on tumblr#illustration
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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Devastatingly cool
#arttag#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#i understand harry completely ok. he's such a good subject. man's walking talking breathing art
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sleepwalking
#losing your mind in the most literal sense. complete with the deep agonizing grief#ffvii#cloud strife#zack fair#zakkura#you don't understand how zakkura it really is.#my art <3#tw blood#this is for that mind link au i posted about last week#but it can be taken as canon too >:)#mind link au
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I love when people play with the idea that Dick and Jason are bound together by a father that no longer exists. It's something only they can relate to each other on. If one of them goes down, the surviving one loses the one other person in the world who understood what it was like to have Bruce as a father before trauma flayed the skin from Bruce's bones.
#this is one of the reasons why i love sibling characters so much#sometimes your sibling is the only other person who will understand how you grew up and what your parents are actually like#but it can be way more complicated than that#because sometimes siblings have the same parents but grow up completely differently#like the first born child might get so little from the parents but then a child that's born 10 years later will get so much from the parent#it's so interesting how complex it can all be#Dick Grayson#Jason Todd
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Congratulations My Hero Academia for providing, possibly, the biggest and longest legit straightbaiting yet in shonen history.
Bonus points that their final chapter was released on yaoi day.
#first of all absolutely no hate to izuocha#i actually really like them together romantically or not. i love their dynamic so much#but you must know just how hilarious and absurd it is#that this series started with them crushing on each other#and then ochako's attraction to deku became an important part of her character#BUT they completely turn it around and made it about#deku's meaning as a hero and being saved#and ochakos expression of love and understanding others#like. that is legit very compelling and a beautiful relationship#but they did not become A Couple. at least- nothing confirms nor denies it#just like how a queerbait relationship would be#absolutely hilarious. i honestly love how it ended like this#doesnt mean i love the ending tho. oh boy its weird and legit bad in many areas#But this? My god I am so fucking sold.#God bless izuocha bakudeku and togachako i love you all#evelynpr bnha#bnha#mha#my hero academia#mha 430#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers#bakudeku#bkdk#tgck#togachako#i dont think I'll tag izuocha cus...im scared#i really dont hate it guys I promise I dont#izuku midoriya#ochako uraraka
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How… Do I recover from this…?
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#dabi#touya todoroki#bnha dabi#mha dabi#bnha season 7#mha season 7#i’m just… after the episode my mind went blank completely… and then i started sobbing… because what the fuck…#i feel even more heartbroken than i already did and literally can’t stop crying…#bruh i can’t… i’m completely shattered… i couldn’t take screenshots without stopping for few moments to cry over dabi…#he has suffered so much… endured so much… i feel sick to my stomach omfg…#and some of y’all want me to change my mind about endeavor??? HELL NAH I NOW HATE HIM EVEN MORE ACTUALLY#so congrats to all of you that wanted dabi fans to be more understanding toward the walking garbage: it didn’t work#and never will. he needs and deserves to rot in fucking hell
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