#and i can assure you i am no longer the person who posted this out of jealousy and self righteousness

[tonydaddingham]

i am full body raging about this bullshit

like don't get me wrong if you're an east coast yank I'm genuinely happy for you

but prime premiere website literally states early screening is 26th, but now we have to go black out for 10 days starting the 18th

im so fucking angry this is a disaster waiting to happen, why the fuck did they bother getting so worked up about The Spoiler when youre pulling this shit jfc

if i see ONE SINGLE spoiler please know that there is NO CORNER OF THE EARTH where i will not find you and skin you alive 🥰

[yvesdot]

How To Get Roughly 50 Notes On An Original Writing Post And Possibly Net A Single Reader

I had someone ask today how I get people to click through and read my writing, and I'm realizing that I've never actually made a post all in one place of everything I do to get a new piece of short fiction off the ground... so here you go! How to get (some) eyes on your work, even if it is not published anywhere of interest and you don't have a marketing team behind you.

The #1 thing is presentation. You want to get people's attention, and once you have it, convince them to keep paying attention. Fortunately, people tend to be both reasonable and predictable, which means all you have to do is follow The Formula.

(original post link)

Here's the formula from the above post broken down:

[giant horizontal title card, preferably animated to catch the eye] OR [a few tasteful parallels, if you're good at parallel posts]

TITLE (linked to where you can read the piece) / wordcount

a quote that is representative of the tone, themes, prose style, and/or the "promise of the premise"

A longer pitch, featuring the overall subject of the piece (transsexual reality TV drama), any comp titles (Detransition, Baby), the main draw (in this case, watching trans people be awful to clueless cis people), major themes (performance), and any other promises you'd like to make (food romance and tigers). You can see that the quote I chose delivers on the promise of trans people intellectually outperforming cis people-- if I were a reader, I would be more likely to trust that the rest of the pitch was accurate based on that assurance.

If you have any positive reviews on your piece, say so. If it has won any awards or contests, say so. If your work has made people cry, Doja Cat - Say So. Always. Generally speaking, more personal and more detailed is better, but keep it to one or two people-- e.g. "when I gave this to my S/O to read he shot milk out of his nose so far I had to go clean under the couch" or "my favorite review of this piece is the reader who said they read it chapter-by-chapter under their covers because they wanted it all to themself." This should be one sentence.

Depending on where the story is published, what you usually promote, etc., it may be worthwhile saying the story is free. Use your judgment on whether the reader can tell.

I also like putting my links at the bottom so someone seeing this on a friend's dash can easily track me around the 'Net. They make me look more professional (I now include a link to my website) and they visually balance the post, in my opinion. This post also happened to have some additional links for bonus content.

This is not as high stakes as it seems. I'm not 100% happy with the pitch here, and I'm not 100% happy with the graphics I've used in other cases. These are some bones that help to sell the piece even when the details aren't as sharp.

REBLOGGING

When is the last time you read something the first time you saw it on your dash? I schedule reblogs of all important posts at least twice over the next 2-3 days, often three times so I can get the morning/afternoon/evening reblog. If your followers tend to be more active at certain times, go ahead and use those. In the past I've intentionally scheduled posts for times I knew more popular mutuals were active, and it has paid off!

I also schedule a reblog for a week and a month and sometimes even a full calendar year out, because I know there is going to be that person who tags the piece '#to read' and instantly forgets about it, only to get excited when they see it weeks later. I am very often that reader. The goal is to catch people when they're ready to read immediately, and this is a game of chance.

Every so often, I go through my entire #writing or #important writing updates or even just #popular tag(s) and queue two dozen posts before shuffling my queue to redistribute matters. This keeps my older work circulating, ensuring new readers get a chance to see older pieces and giving those older pieces another shot at dashboard space. (More on #popular later.) This sounds like a lot, which is why you have to space everything pretty far apart. Fortunately, this is the world's best site for cool things to reblog. I guarantee you that you can find something new you love to post in the meanwhile.

COPING WITH FAME

The post above is what I, a published author, consider "doing well" for a post about my writing on Tumblr. As of October 10th, 2024, over two years after its initial posting and over five years into my posting doggedly about my original fiction, it has 77 notes. More than half (43) are likes. Around half of the reblogs are me promoting my own work or the same very sweet person dutifully reblogging me every time I do so. Glancing through the reblogs now, I know of four people whom I can confirm have read it. Presumably, there are more who are completely silent and have never interacted with the post whatsoever. Genuinely: wahoo!! I am so grateful and happy for the attention and reception of my work.

This is the number one thing I suggest: focus on what you have, and not what you lack. Imagine your post from the perspective of an outsider: even one reblog means you convinced that one person to spread your art! How cool is that! This is also good advice because moping is simply not helpful; it will not get you more reads. (And no, neither will guilting others. Kill that vent post in your head!)

GETTING FOLLOWERS

I don't have that many followers. Of the followers I do have, people are very unpredictably active. When I hear about other people's follower counts I am consistently surprised, because people with half of mine will have fans and haters the likes of which I could not possibly dream of. I follow 500-follower folk who post "I ate a strawberry today" and get 6 asks ranging from "Wow I respect you so much for eating that strawberry" to "I'm going to come to your address at [REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED] and shove bananas down your throat for hating on my favorite fruit."

I point this out to establish three important things. 1) Be grateful for what you have (in my case, 0 anonymous hate asks about fruitpinions), 2) followers have far less impact on interaction than one might think, and 3) followers don't engage with the things you might like them to.

Think about yourself. Are you more likely to reblog a photo of a cat in a pumpkin (alright, here) or something advertising fifteen minutes' worth of writing, which could be, for all you know, bad? Or, for that matter, by a person you should not like to support? Reblogs on generically interesting things are 'safer' (unfortunately) than reblogs on art, and it makes perfect sense that people are skittish around the latter. People don't often reblog things they haven't read, and nobody can reblog every artpost on their dash. Having someone else put it there, however, is incredibly powerful—someone's vetted this post as Worth a Reblog, after all. Having more followers allows for much more of this.

(Followers don't guarantee any one sort of interaction, but having more of them is rarely bad. Rarely.)

Across my most popular posts, one theme becomes very obvious: people like things that apply to them or their blog. I try to post writing advice/opinions/memes every so often, because I know I have a loyal base of writerfolk who like to see that from me, and it's "easier" to reblog than my writing. This is simply the nature of the universe. I used to pretty frequently go into the #writeblr tag and check out what was recently popular so I could figure out how to serve the same base, and from time to time it worked.

You're welcome to examine the list of #writing posts that made it to 100 notes, because each tends to have a notable reason behind its success: a reblog with an exceptionally good review, a contest win, a wordcount that lends itself to pasting the whole thing in one go.

(Posts about my book's release are a notable exception, in part due to Blaze and in part due to my absolutely relentless flogging of their reblog buttons during the ~year of promotion. Also in large part to a dedicated circle of friends who passed the post around nonstop! Thank you so much!!)

A lot of people will tell you to attempt covert reciprocal promotion. You know—reblog a lot of stuff, in the hopes that people will reblog yours. If I could change one thing on Tumblr, it would be this: the culture that quietly encourages disingenously interacting with other people with a secret True Goal in mind. (On the autism website.)

Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, do not do this. If you comment on other people's work, do it because you're happy to do so. When I released Paper Tigress, I went through everybody else who responded to the same prompt and read their work, because I had the day off and I was curious. This has led to Paper Tigress having more comments on Reedsy than one of my contest winners, and even outranking the shortlisted story in the same prompt category. However, this would have been a waste of my time if I did not genuinely enjoy reading the other stories. I read 80+ stories, taking several hours, and gained 30 comments from the venture (half my comments are my responses).

Crucially, I do not promote other writers' work on Tumblr in the hopes of them reading or boosting mine. This is the #1 tip I see thrown around that I viscerally disagree with. While, again, I am grateful for engagement with my work regardless of the context, I do not want people suffering through my work in the hopes that I will promote them. I work a full-time job, and my reading calendar is perpetually overbooked, including with work by my absolute best of friends. Even if it wasn't, I think it would be quite insulting if I were posting works in the hopes that someone would choke it down like medicine. I post what I think is good so that people can read and enjoy it. If you are not enjoying it, I do not want you to feel as though you have to read it. My aim is to give to others what my favorite authors have given me, which is most certainly not A Bad Time Spent Being Dishonest In The Hopes Of Getting Something Back. You have better things to do with your time. Please be honest.

CONCLUSION

Realistically, the readers I have, I gained through being a published author for five years promoting my behind off on Tumblr, the least forgiving social media for promotion. People like it when you have a book they can buy, especially if it has Goodreads reviews that make it look like you have been vetted for them. Many people who follow me have read only Something's Not Right and nothing else. (Many people who follow me have read everything but Something's Not Right.) I have posted dozens of pieces on Tumblr and Wattpad (and AO3). I gained a small number of readers writing and posting fanfiction for the Locked Tomb Tri(?)logy, even though I marketed it absolutely terribly.

Just keep writing. Keep writing, keep posting, and keep making sure everyone who follows you knows you write. And keep writing because you want to. There's no better advice than that.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Quiet Ones 9

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You live a quiet life, but your peace is fractured by a chaotic man.

Characters: Lloyd Hansen, short!shy!reader

Note: in the land of delulu.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ‘part 2?’ is not feedback.

Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖

Steam rises around you as you lower yourself into the water. It might be relaxing but your flesh doesn’t meet porcelain. Instead, you lay across the man who sighs beneath your weight. Just as soon as you recline, Lloyd’s arms are around you. 

You flinch as he grabs his other arm and squeezes you close. You tense as he remains completely lax between you. He’s relaxed and confident. He knows he has control. 

“Ah, jellybean, isn’t this nice?” He rocks you with him. “You have no idea how long I’ve been dreaming of this.” He’s right, you don’t. The more he talks, the more you suspect he’s been watching you for longer than you realise. And he talks a lot. “You and I. Happy. Together.” 

He unclutches his hand and it wanders up your naked chest. Goosebumps rise at the reminder of your nudity. He’s the only person who’s seen you like this. He’s the last person you would want to. You squirm as you feel him harden beneath you.  

His other hand walks to your thigh. He tickles your skin and pushes his fingertips firmly into your soft flesh. You shudder as his touch sends a tingle through you. 

“So, since we’re doing this the not-so-fun way, how about a trip to Las Vegas? We can hit a drive-thru chapel then stop at the casino. Gamble a little, fuck a lot--” 

“Vegas?” You echo. “I...” 

“Oh, yeah, you’re classy, aren’t you, bean? Yeah, that’s not right. Vegas. For my wife. Did you know you can get married pretty easily in Hawaii. And it’s gorgeous,” he purrs. “You’ve never been to Hawaii.” 

You wince. Each time he tells you how much he knows about you, you remember how little you know of him. Where did he come from? How did he find you? And what kind of man nonchalantly gasses someone one out after a whole stalking campaign? This is absurd. You just can’t believe it’s real. 

As he fondles your chest, you’re assured that it is very real. 

“Your heart’s racing,” he shifts his hand to spread flat above your tits. “You’re excited. Me too, bean. Me too. I promise, this ain’t just about the sex. Which I am very much rock hard about. No, jellybean, this is about us. About us expressing our love for each other. Sealing it. A pact to be together. Forever.” 

He laughs. You might even call it a giggle. He nuzzles your hair and hums. 

“Look what you’ve done to me. I feel like a teenager. I’m... I’m just... happy. I’ve never been more certain of anything, bean,” he purrs as he flutters his fingers down your stomach. “You know, I always thought marriage was stupid. Women, they were fun. Something to play with.” He pets your pelvis as he speaks. “I know, I know, I won’t mention the past. You don’t need to know about my mistakes. I was lost without you, jellybean. Stupid. Those women. Sluts. They mean nothing.” 

You stiffen and catch his wrist. His splays his fingers, then curls them. 

“I know, I’m getting impatient. Promise, I’ll be your good boy. I can wait.” He hooks his other arm around you. “Tell ya what. We’ll relax, get freshened up, then we can go book our flights, and look for a pretty dress.” He rambles on as you stare at the ceiling in horror. Everything you say is just a hurdle he easily jumps overs, “and some sexy lingerie. Only the best for my, bean, right?” 

It’s a good thing he can’t see your face. As clueless as he is, you think your disgust would be all too obvious.  

🩷

Lloyd has everything ready to go. Tickets, luggage you’ve never seen before, and even a passport. You never had a passport. You never travelled and you could never spare the money for the expense of it. That eerie suspicion rises again. How long has he been plotting to dismantle your entire life? 

The question hardly matters. You can’t go back. He’ll make sure of that. He already has. What is there to go back to? An empty apartment and no job. You doubt the company will buy the ‘oh sorry, I was kidnapped’ excuse. 

As unprepared you are for any of this, the airport is well beyond anything you can bare. As you enter, you’re struck by the sheer number of people and the noise alone is enough to make your ears itch. You stand in line with Lloyd, searching around for any sliver of hope. This is it. You get on that plane, and that’s the end. 

You cover your ears as your head begins to pulse. Lloyd nudges you as the queue moves ahead of him and you pull your luggage along. He hands over the boarding passes and your IDs, then helps get the bigger bags onto a cart. He retrieves his phone and the passports and leads you off towards security with only your carry-on. 

You shrink down as you’re crowded on both sides. Lloyd startles you as he rubs your back. You glance over at him with wide eyes. 

“Once we get through security, we can head over to the diamond long, jellybean. Less crowded there,” he keeps his arm around you, “only the best for wifey.” 

You turn your head straight and stare at the back of the stranger in front of you. You hate this. You never enjoy being among the general public but this is all too much. There’s so much sound and people and moving. It’s chaos. 

You hold your breath until your eyes threaten to bulge. You slowly let air through your nose as your eyes flick back and forth. You want to run but there’s nowhere to go. 

Lloyd ushers you forward and your feet drag. When it’s your turn, you walk through the scanner then stop for them to wave a wand around you. You wait as Lloyd collects his watch, phone, and wallet from the tray. 

He comes to you and takes your carry-on from you. He directs you around as you look around at the people rushing by. Faces blur and voices blare. You only move in hopes of being free of this. 

He leads you through a tunnel and the wall of noise fades behind you. You come into a lobby with a desk labeled Diamond Lounge. A woman greets you with a chirp but it’s much preferable to the chattering and yelling of before. 

Lloyd shows your boarding passes again. The woman says something but you can’t discern her words clearly. You're tugged by your hand into another room. 

The lighting is softer and the space is sectioned by leather seating and mounted televisions, and low tables. There are artificial fires set into the walls and pillows waiting on the cushions. You follow Lloyd to a couch and he sits you down beside him. 

“Hey,” he puts his hand on your shoulder, running his thumb up and down, “jellybean, you okay? You look foggy.” 

You look at him and cough. Your chest aches from holding your breath. You nod and sit back. His hand slips away from you. 

“Bean?” He murmurs. 

You press your tongue to the roof of your mouth. Another woman in a white blazer similar to the one behind the desk appears. She pours two glasses of bubbly wine. You watch her and say nothing. 

She leaves and Lloyd caresses your knee. You stare at his hand. The dress he put on you chafes. You want jeans and a tee shirt. 

“I...” you begin hoarsely, “hate people.” 

He stills his hand and covers your knee, “I know, baby. Me too. We’ll be okay. It won’t be so bad from here.” He drags his hand away and takes the stemmed glasses, “here,” he offers you one. “Cheers.” 

You take it and hold it up. He clinks his against it but you do not drink. He sips but stops himself. 

“This will be good for us, jellybean. Just think, a proper wedding would be overcrowded, overpriced, and overdone. You know,” he leans towards you and grins, “what I love about you, besides the fact that you’re gorgeous from head to tits to ass to toe, is that you like simple things.” 

You blink at him and take a gulp. This isn’t just a flight or a shotgun wedding, this is your whole life. This man, this maniac, is never going to let you go. 

“You need anything? You hungry? You want a blanket? You can relax, baby--” 

You think about that more. He’s as good as giving you a life sentence. With him. It’s not just terrifying, it’s enraging. He’s enraging. He never stops. 

“I need you to shut up,” you snap without thinking. 

He recoils and his brows arch, “jellybean?” 

Your mouth opens and you stare at him. You wait for him to explode. To say something. He just looks at you, stunned. 

“I said shut up,” you repeat shakily. 

“Oh? I’m sorry, bean. I know you get a bit stressed from everything going on--” 

“Shut.” You trace a finger through the air, “up.” 

He takes a breath then shuts his mouth. He nods and pouts. He bats his eyes at you and sits back. You watch him uncertainly. He just looks back at you. You turn your attention to the glass of wine and drain it. 

Finally, some peace and quiet. 

🩷

Every little girl, every woman dreams of their wedding. Don’t they? 

No. Not you. Not ever. Never. Not in a million years. And to that man? 

To your surprise, the plane ride is quiet. You have your first-class seat and a pair of earbuds and an almost worryingly quiet neighbour. Since you barked at him to stop talking, Lloyd has obeyed. The longer he stays silent, the more you worry.  

Is he angry? You don’t want to care if he is but this man is dangerous even if he is ridiculous. He did gas you out of your former life. 

You disembark and he gets the bags. All of them. He’s suffocatingly servile. He loads the rental car and opens the passenger door for you. The only words he utters are ‘jellybean’ or some other redundant pet name. 

You chew your lip as you stare out the window. It’s gorgeous. It takes until that moment for reality to hit. You’re in Hawaii. You’re far away from home. Further than you’ve ever been. The beauty of the island battles with your displacement. 

The hotel is just as immaculate as the rest of the scenery. Lloyd checks you in and sends for the bags. You go to the balcony and stare off at the ocean as he fumbles around the suite. 

“On its way?” He says into the phone. “Yeah, that’s great. And the minister? Mmhm, yes, right on the beach.” 

You slump and cross your arms. You want to just fold into yourself. Maybe if you bash your head against the window... 

“Jellybean,” Lloyd calls to you. You cringe at the glass doors and turn your head slightly. He approaches, almost demure in his posture. “I don’t want to ruin our special day but there are a few things we still need to get ready for tomorrow.” 

You face him fully and stare. Now he wants your input? 

“You know I love you, right, bean?” He says, his lips twitching. He smooths his mustache with his fingers then shakes his hand out. You don’t have an answer, just an endless stare. “I’d do anything for you.” 

Love? Really? Right. He knows you as much as you know him. Not much. He might know about you, but he doesn’t really know you. And do anything for you or to you? Or to keep you? Because none of this is what you want. 

“Your dress will be your something new, and something old is your ring. Did I mention it belong to Elizabeth Taylor?” He smiles sheepishly, “so you just need something blue... I was thinking a garter? And something borrowed...” He puts his hands together and wiggles free his pinky ring, “you can try it on? Or just put it on a chain.” 

You squint at him. He’s crazy. That’s obvious but he really is. He thinks this is a dream come true. Not just his, but yours. This is an actual nightmare. 

“Well...” he takes your hand and presses the ring into your palm. “I know you need to rest before the big day so there’s some wine and whatever in the mini fridge. I can get you some champagne? Or something else? Are you hungry?” 

You shake your head and pull your hand from his. You turn away and look back through the window. You watch the coast and the peaceful lapping of water. You can’t be there right now, not mentally. So in your head, you’ll run out into the waves until they swallow you up. That’s much preferable. 

“Jellybean,” he says, “I’ll shut up now.” 

[dangopango00]

Carrying Your Loser BF like a Princess

Losermen x GN Reader

(Kenma, Levi, Abyss) x GN Reader

A/N: BY LOSER i mean they are very passionate about sth (usually games) and/or awkward as hell. Geeks nerds. I love them. just wanted to write some silly simple hcs so here

A/N but after writing: I am physically incapable of writing something short oh my god. They just kept getting longer and longer as I kept writing omg 😭

HCS UTC

Kenma

- Won’t want you to do this kind of thing in public bc it’s a bit embarrassing + he’s not really into PDA but in private its so different:

- Nonchalant. If anything probably surprised you can carry him if you’re shorter or really skinny

- Only really concerned if it’s disrupting his game but if he’s on his switch or sth portable then he has no complaints

“What are you doing?”

“Carrying you like the pretty princess you are 😋”

“?” (Probably glances at your silly smirk and looks back to his game)

- He often doesn’t respond to your shenanigans, he needs to focus and is not going to risk losing braincells with your nonsense (rude ✋😔)

- Likes it and it’s not a secret— he just doesn’t say it out loud; it’s obvious

- Sometimes he’ll randomly sit on your lap perpendicular to you in the princess position so you’re ready to sweep him off his feet whenever

- As a guy who hates getting tired and often gets left behind at places bc he was too focused on his phone or switch, it’s really convenient tbh

- Kisses you on the cheek and the side of the face when he’s feeling silly but usually he expects YOU to shower HIM in kisses even though you’re already carrying him smh actual cat princess behavior 😒

- Eventually if—when he gains more confidence in public he will have you carry him around everywhere if he’s busy gaming bc its convenient and lovely (imo I think he probably got more confident post timeskip but tbh I didn’t get that far in the manga so I literally do not know lmao)

Levi

- Blushy if its in private DOWNRIGHT CATATONIC if its in public

- Extremely perplexed as to how you did it bc he’s most likely way bigger than you and engulfing you just by being in your arms but he’s literally so flustered he can’t even think about that rn

A/N: I hate typing out stutters but he’d stutter and trip over his words sm srry gng

“H-huh? What are y-you doing?!”

“Carrying the prettiest princess in the world 🥺”

“!?!?!!?”

- Can’t even respond. free him 😭😭 (Don’t. he wants to be in your arms as long as possible)

- Really not used to being carried AT ALL and hides his face in the crook of your neck while holding onto you; does not want to be dropped or make eye contact with anyone who has the misfortune of witnessing this; he’d have to jump (he’s being a silly goose)

- Conflicted as hell because on one hand HE wants to be the hero saving the princess and sweeping you off your feet but on the other hand it feels really nice to be doted on every once in a while….

- Feels so uncool and pathetic for enjoying it but you assure him it doesn’t make him less cool to accept love

- Sits so close to you he’s basically on your lap when he either wants to be held or wants to try holding you (He’s afraid he’ll drop you though)

- Probably happened in TSL (seems like sth henry would do tbh) and he’s freaking out about it bc this is NAWT the scene he wanted to reenact with you but it’s still so cool and you’re so cool and pretty and handsome and….. oh he’s been staring at you for a while hasn’t he? Time to crawl in a hole and die

Abyss

- Actually just bewildered 😭😭 blushy too but like. Extremely confused

- Would not like you to do it around Abel but if you did he wouldn’t get mad or anything, he’d just be unable to converse like a normal person

- CONFLICTED he likes the feeling and the proximity because he can feel the fanning of your breath on his skin, see every one of even your most menial features, feel the burn of his face under your gaze, enjoy the warmth of your body close to his, etc but at the same time its a bit odd to him (he just has to get used to being loved, I fear)

“!” (Shocked breath inhale)

“How does it feel to be the prettiest princess in the world? 🥹”

“Uh.. um…..g..good…..” (Probably gulped and everything 😭)

- He’s silly he answers every question seriously even if it’s rhetorical 😭❤️ thinks you’re seriously asking him

- Definitely a fan after getting used to it especially when you kiss the side of his face (ESP ESP if u kiss his eyelids or near his eyes) (I say eyes bc yes you kiss both; you show love to every part of him which is so endearing to him bc it shows that you aren’t just trying to make him feel better about his backstory but just love all of him)

- WILL CARRY YOU IN RETURN !! So much so that for every 1 time you carry him he’s probably carried you like 5 times in any position you’d like (nothing too scandalous though, he might evaporate)

- Reverts to back when you two were in the pining stage when he wants affection in general (not specifically being carried but it usually includes this or at least laying across your lap) and starts stuttering like crazy, unable to even talk properly nor can he even look you in the eye; shakes violently

- Smells your hair, sorry. If you are. Bald he just smells you— your perfume, your cologne, your natural musk whatever. He shoves his face into your neck and he just wants to be as close to you as possible

[simp-plague]

I haven't written in actual years and finally decided to try and pick it up again. So here is the first story I've ever posted and I hope ya'll like it!

Bakugou x Fem!Reader

Summary: Confident reader works at a beauty supply store and lives an average life but one day two men walk in and things start to heat up (modern au and aged up)

WC: 4,730

MDNI

Warnings: f reader, cock warming, p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it up in real life ya'll lol), creampie (let me know if I missed anything)

You work at a beauty supply store and you expect it to be another normal day of customers, some who genuinely need help, some who have been doing their own hair for years, and some older women who like to argue with you until you start fuming. Until a red haired man and a blonde man walk into your store. The blonde looks like he doesn’t wanna be there while the red head looks happy and energetic. You ask them if they need any help finding something and the red head immediately responds “I’m looking for red hair dye”

“Well all our hair dye is down this aisle” you say as you walk towards all the hair dye “have you ever used professional hair dye before?” 

“I didn’t really know there was a difference” he said while rubbing the back of his neck

Then the blonde chimes in “his girlfriend always does his hair” as he chuckles to himself 

“Yeah she always does my hair and she told me to come here since she is out of town, I’ve never actually done my own hair” 

“Oh does she come here often because if so I probably know her” you say a little excited

“Yeah she does!” He says excited “she has pink hair and the most beautiful yellow eyes” he’s like a love sick puppy and it makes your heart warm 

“Oh so you’re Mina’s boyfriend, Kirishima right?” With a wide smile on your face 

“Yeah I am” a small chuckles comes out of him

“And you must be the grumpy friend, Bakugou” you say trying to hold in a laugh

The blonde turns to you with a scowl on his face while Kirishima laughs and says “yeah that’s him” 

“Well I’m happy to finally put names to faces”

You start to show him the red hair dye his girlfriend Mina always buys and all the things he is going to need. You notice another customer walks in the store, you excuse yourself from the two men for a moment to help the other customer.

“Hi welcome in, is there anything I can help you with” you say in your customer service voice to the older lady who just walked in

“Yes” she said obviously already angry “I purchased this electric razor from this store a week ago and I don’t like it! I need a refund!”

You calmly explain that she can’t return the item and point out the sign above the register that electric razors are final sales only and there will be no refunds. She is obviously not happy and starts to raise her voice “that sign wasn’t there a week ago! So I’m allowed a refund” her rant continues to the point she is yelling at you.

You start to get extremely angry as you try to continue to explain why the refund isn’t going to happen.

Bakugou and Kirishima hear the women now yelling at you and look over to see the confrontation. They start walking over to the register with all the items they wish to purchase and to see if you are okay but before they get the chance to confront the women yelling at you, you snap.

The anger you were suppressing as the woman berated you finally boiled over and you’ve had enough. You raise your voice at the women, not quite yelling but you are no longer speaking in your customer service voice. “Ma’am. You have no right to yell at me for doing my job. Instead of being a self obsessed person, how about you think how your words and actions affect other people?”

The woman is dumb founded at how you just spoke to her as she tries to collect herself you say “if you have a problem with our policies feel free to call our customer service line and if you feel the need to complain about me, my name is Y/N L/N, but I can assure you I will not lose my job and you will end up looking like the fool”

The woman had shock all over her face and she tried to say things but no words came out, she angrily huffed and stomped out the store.

You turn around and take a second to calm yourself down, if you could have you would have punched her across the face but you know if you did that you would most definitely lose your job. When you finally turned back around you are met with the shocked faces of Bakugou and Kirishima.

Embarrassment swept over your face “holy shit I’m so sorry about that!”

Kirishima still slightly in shock tries to say something but is interrupted by Bakugou “damn that was impressive” he said with a smirk on his face

You look at Bakugou with pink slightly dusting your cheeks “thanks, some people just don't understand common sense" you say as you push some hair behind your ear. Bakugou nods in agreement

You notice Kirishima holding the items you showed them “oh are you ready to check out?”

“Yeah” said Kirishima as he starts to set the items on the counter

You make some small talk while scanning their items and placing them in the bag, he then pays and starts to walk out the door before turning around to see his friend Bakugou “Yo Bakubro, you coming?”

Bakugou snaps out of whatever he was looking at and starts walking towards his friends and then leaves the store. 

The rest of your day was fairly normal after that but your head was off thinking of other things. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the parking lot after they left

Kirishima looks over at his friend while walking towards the car “You were starting at her ya know?”

Bakugou looks at his friend “shut up shitty hair, I was not” a slight blush forming across his face

“Come on man you totally were and looks like she wasn’t upset about it” he chuckles “I bet I can get Mina to give her your number”

“I’m gonna hurt you unless you shut the hell up” 

Their whole ride home was Kirishima teasing Bakugou while the blush on his face got a little darker 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two days later

You are getting ready for your work day and you can’t stop thinking about Bakugou ‘why am I even thinking about him? I don’t know anything about him except the fact he is extremely hot’ your face starts to warm up just thinking about it. You shake the thoughts while heading out of your apartment to go to work. 

Most of your day just flew by and next thing you know you only have an hour left until you gotta close the store. Then a familiar girl with pink hair walks in.

“Oh hey Mina! It’s great to see you!”

She has the biggest smile on her face while she walks up to you “hey girly!”

“I finally got to meet Kirishima last week, he’s so sweet and definitely obsessed with you” you wink at her and she chuckles “Did he forget something? it’s not like his roots grow that fast to need a touch up already” you laugh

“Nope” Mina’s smile didn’t falter which makes you slightly confused “I have something for you”

“Oh? What is it” curiosity gets the best of you 

“Someone I know is interested in you” she shoots you a wink

Your cheeks start to warm up and you start thinking of who you know that Mina also knows. It then dawns on you that it could only be one person.

“By the look on your face right now it looks like you know who I’m talking about” she smirks 

“Ummm… is it Bakugou?” You say at almost a whisper

“Ding ding ding! You win the prize” she holds out her hand and she is holding a piece of paper

You slowly reach out and grab the paper from her and unfold it. Your eyes get wide looking at the ten numbers written on it. “Is this…”

“Yup it’s Bakugou’s phone number, he wanted me to give it to you”

“Wait really?!” Shock is written all over your face

“Yeah you should give him a call when you get off work” 

“Okay… I will but wait, why is he even interested in me? He only met me once and barely spoke” you say

“He saw the way you stood up for yourself when that lady was screaming at you and didn't give two shits about getting in trouble, he likes a girl who can stand her ground and you definitely showed that” 

“Wow umm okay I guess that makes sense” you say while rubbing the back of your neck “I’ll give him a call once I close the store”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

40 minutes later

You just finished closing the store and as you walk to your car you are fiddling with the paper Mina had given you with Bakugou’s phone number on it. Once in your car you let out a sigh and dialed his number. The phone started ringing and ringing, the anxiety swirling in your stomach had you holding your breath ‘maybe he won’t answer. Am I really doing this? Shit I’m just gonna hang up and try later’ but before you can hang up the call and voice from the other end says “hello?”

“Umm hi… Bakugou?”

“Yeah, who is this?”

‘Shit did Mina not tell him I was gonna call?’

“It’s Y/N the girl from the beauty store” your nervousness makes your voice a little shaky and you hope he can’t tell

“Oh yeah the girl who wasn’t scared to stand up for herself” you can almost hear his smirk through the phone

Your nerves start to dissipate and your confidence comes through “so I hear you are interested in me” you smile to yourself

“Yeah I may be interested” he slightly chuckles

“So you gonna ask me out or do I have to ask you out?” 

He laughs on the other end of the call “how ‘bout I pick you up tomorrow at 6pm?”

“I close the store tomorrow but I’ll be free by 8pm”

“8pm it is then”

“I’ll send you my address and I’ll see you tomorrow”

“It’s a date”

The phone call ends and you giggle to yourself. It’s been awhile since you’ve been this excited about a date

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day

You wake up and start your day like every other, styling your hair, doing your makeup, picking out an outfit, and making breakfast. Throughout your whole day you are giddy with excitement about your date tonight.

The day went by fast and you finally got home after work, you practically sprinted to your apartment door to start getting ready. You are halfway ready when you hear a knock on the door. You quickly grab your phone to see the time “shit it’s already 8!”

You quickly make your way to the door completely oblivious to what you were wearing. You open the door and are greeted by a tall handsome blonde named Bakugou. He is wearing black slacks that hug his legs perfectly, a black button up with the sleeves rolled to his elbows, and a gold chain around his neck. “Damn you look good” you say with a smile on your face. He looks you up and down and stifles a chuckle “you also look good but I don’t think you can wear that out” he smirks. You quickly realize you are still wrapped up in a towel from your shower and your face gets warm as a blush starts to appear on your face but that doesn’t waver your confidence. 

“If you like what you see now just wait till I’m actually ready” you give him a wink “just give me 5 minutes and then I’ll be ready”

You motion for him to come in and then you walk away to your room to finish getting ready

Just as you said it took you only 5 minutes to get dressed. You walk into your living room wearing a tight dark green dress that shows all your curves with a thigh slit that stops just before your hip and a simple pair of matte black stiletto heels. 

“Fuck you were worth the wait” he says with shallow breaths

You laugh and it just emphasizes how your breasts jiggle in a dress that leaves little to the imagination of your shape. He is just staring at you and it makes butterflies erupt in your stomach. “Should we get going?” You ask while walking towards him

You can see how his adam apple moves when he swallows before responding “yeah” he extends an arm for you to hold onto and you gladly accept and walk to his car.

The whole car ride he has his hand gripping your thigh and you can feel yourself getting wet, you push the thought out of your head then you finally arrive at the restaurant. He parks the car and gets out, he walks around to the other side and opens the door for you with his hand extended for you to take, you happily accept. 

He stops in his tracks when you reach the door of the restaurant. “What’s wrong?” you look up at him with doe eyes.

You scan the area and see what he is looking at, it’s Mina and Kirishima. “Holy shit! What are you guys doing here?” You say while walking towards them

“Bakugou was telling us about your date tonight and how nervous he was so we thought we’d surprise y’all” Mina said with a smile stretched on her face

Bakugou sent a glare her way. You elbow Bakugou on the side “is that true? Mister tall and handsome was nervous?” A smirk on your face

He stammers over his words after you so openly called him handsome. “That’s okay, I was nervous too” you say while giving him a genuine smile. 

“Wouldn’t have guessed your were nervous” he chuckles and you elbow him in the side again

“Oh look they look like a couple already and the date hasn’t even started yet” Mina says looking at her boyfriend. “Yeah like a match made in heaven” Kirishima adds

You and Bakugou send them both a look this time before Bakugou says “well should we head inside?”

Everyone nods and walks into the restaurant. The whole night was amazing and filled with smiles and laughter. Sadly the night had to come to an end and you said your goodbyes to Mina and Kirishima before making your way back to Bakugou’s car.

“Can’t believe they crashed our first date” Bakugou said while running his hand through his hair

“How ‘bout I make it up to you?” You say while getting into his car

“What do you have in mind?” He takes your hand in his

“When you take me home, come in for some wine”

He smirks and pulls your hand to his mouth and kisses it gently “I’d love to”

You both arrive to your apartment and walk inside. You go to the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine and two glasses then join him on the couch.

For hours you both talk about likes, dislikes, your pasts, and just about life while sipping wine. Next thing you know it’s 4am, you spent almost the whole night just talking.

“Fuck it’s 4am” you say while looking at the clock

“I guess I should head home” 

He starts to stand up but you grab his hand and stand up with him. “Tonight was a lot of fun”

“Yeah it was, I’ll call you tomorrow”

You walk with him to the door and he starts to walk out your apartment. You quickly grab him by the wrist before he walks away and pull him into a kiss, a deep kiss that has him pushing you up against the wall with your hands gripping his shirt and his hands in your hair. 

You both pull away breathing heavily. “I couldn’t let you go with out at least one kiss” you say 

A smirk appears on his lips “can’t wait to kiss you again” he says before walking out your apartment 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A month goes by and you and Bakugou have officially started dating. It’s been amazing and it’s more amazing you both have been able to keep your hands to yourself this long other than passionate make outs. But that’s soon to change and you are going to make sure of that because it’s driving you crazy for how much you want him to touch you and have him inside you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You’re sitting at home in bed tossing and turning unable to fall asleep. Your head is swarming with thoughts of your boyfriend Bakugou. You let out a large sigh while sitting up abruptly and whipping the blankets off your body. You lean over and grab your phone off the night stand and hit the call button next to Bakugou’s name.

Ring ring

Ring ring

“Hey baby, what’s up?”

"What are you doing right now?" You sound a little frustrated

"Just hangin' with some of the guys, why?" Concern slightly laced in his voice

You let out a huff before saying "I need you"

"What do you mean baby? You already have me" he said confused

"Fuckin' hell, no! I need you here now, kissing me and touching me"

He is silent on the other end of the call

"Kats? You still there?"

"Yeah... just had to step outside so the guys can't listen in"

"Well how 'bout you just go ahead and ditch them and come over here" you say seductively

"Fuck, baby" his breathing gets slightly heavy

"Come on Kats~ and let me make you cum"

"I'm on the way"

He ends the call and walks back into Denki's apartment. "I'm leaving" he says while grabbing his keys from the kitchen counter

Denki looks up from his phone "Wait? Why?"

"Isn't it obvious" Sero laughs

"What do you mean?" Denki says confused

"He's got pussy waiting for him" Sero smirks

"Oh shit!" Denki says with shock on his face

Bakugou glares at his friends before heading out the door ignoring Sero and Denki's laughter

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back at your apartment

You put your phone back down on your night stand sitting in bed wearing just a t-shirt and a pair of lacy panties. Almost 20 minutes pass and you're about to text Bakugou until you hear a knock on the door. You excitedly jump off your bed and walk to the door, opening it you find a sweaty Bakugou.

"Damn babe, did you run here?" you laugh

"I may have" He looks you up and down and his breath hitches for a moment

You notice how he looks at you and you grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him in and shut the door behind him

"I promised I'd make you cum" you say while pulling him against your body

The hunger in his eyes grows and he pushes you up against the wall. "I promise I'll make you cum first" He smashes his lips against yours as his hands wander down to your hips and lifts you up. You wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck deepening the kiss even further.

You feel the bulge in his pants grow and start to grind into you, you moan into his mouth and follow his rhythm. You break the kiss first, when you pull your head back a string of saliva still connects the two of you. "Bedroom, first door on the left" is all you said before pushing yourself back to his soft plush lips.

Bakugou moans into your mouth as a response and then he starts to make his way to your bedroom with you still in his strong arms. It's like you weighted nothing to him as he made his way to the room, not a falter in his steps.

Bakugou throws you onto the bed and you let out a small gasp while landing on your back. He starts to crawl his way onto the bed until he is right above you with both hands on either side of your head supporting his weight. "I'm gonna make you feel good, princess~"

Bakugou leans down and places a kiss to your lips, you reach up and wrap both arms around his neck to pull him further into the kiss. You slowly raise one leg to wrap it around his waist to pull his whole body closer to yours and with your new leverage you are able to roll Bakugou over onto his back with you now straddling his lap.

To say his face looked shocked from what had just happened would be an understatement. You look Bakugou in the eyes with a smirk on your face "you seem confused, has no one ever taken control of you before~"

A slight blush starts to rise on his face as he looks at you, you don't break eye contact as you slowly start to slowly take off your own shirt leaving you just in your lace panties. The hunger in Bakugou's eyes grows even deeper when you strip yourself of your shirt and exposing your tits to him. (since you weren't wearing a bra)

"damn" Bakugou huffs out "you're stunning"

A confident smile appears on your lips as you lean down pressing your chest against his. "doesn't seem fair that you still have your shirt on now." You whisper into his ear as your hands glide down his sides until you reach the hem of his shirt and gently pulling it up.

Bakugou takes your hint and sits up and pulls his shirt over his head as you lean back to admire his beautifully sculpted body. After quickly throwing his shirt somewhere in the room his arms quickly wrap around your waist and pulls you in for a kiss. Moving in unison and his tounge swipes across your bottom lip as if asking permission for entrance and you happily let him. Tounges swirling together and moaning into each others mouths as you slowly grind on the hard bulge in his pants.

Bakugou's lips started to drift away from your mouth and down your neck, leaving hickeys in his wake. Your hands find their way into his blonde locks as his lips made their way further down you body until they reach you perky nipples. He slowly licks one small bud ,then takes the bud into his mouth to suck and nibble on it. You back arches into his body as you let out a moan and grip his hair tighter in your hands. A smirk forms on his lips as he detaches himself from your small bud and makes his way to the other to give it the same affection as the first one. That coaxed another moan out of you and you grind even harder on his clothed cock, in desperate need for some type of friction.

You sit up so you are standing on your knees and you run you fingers on the inside of Bakugou's waist band, you lean down to whisper in his ear "take them off." That sent a shiver down his spine but he follows your command and takes off his pants, "these to" you say while rubbing his hard cock through his boxers and he lets out a low moan.

Bakugou's hard cock springs out and lands on his stomach, leeking pre down his length. You take a few seconds to admire his cock before you take your hand to wrap it around his girth. He leans his head back and inhales a sharp breath threw his teeth. As you slowly stroke his length, you use your other hand to slip out of your lace panties and slowly rub circles onto your aching clit.

"fuck" he huffs and then opens his eyes to look at you and his eyes go slightly wide at the sight of you rubbing your own cunt. "shit princess, you're so... nngh... damn hot"

You start to slowly lower your self closer to his aching cock that's still in your hand, lining his member to your entrance. You look him in the eyes, his red eyes swirl with hunger and lust. "do we need a-" his words are cut short when you push yourself down on his cock, taking him all at once. Your walls flutter around him and your head leans back and you let out a loud moan. You look back down at him and while trying to steady yourself you say "no, want to feel all of you"

Leaning down and enveloping him in a deep kiss as you grind and ride him. You sit back up and your speed increases, your moans get louder as your hands grab your breasts. Bakugou is staring at you loving the view of you using him but he is becoming impatient with the slow speed. His hands grab your hips to help you ride him faster "fuck, Kats" you moan.

Bakugou's impatience officially got the best of him and he is now lifting you up and flipping you onto your back without leaving your tight cunt. "I'm done with this slow shit" he huffs "I'm gonna ruin you"

His speed picks up and all you can hear is the lewd sound of skin smacking skin and your crying moans. Bakugou's hand finds its way to you swollen clit and starts to rub slow circles. "fuck, your gonna make me cum" you moan

Your walls flutter around his member, squeezing him so tight with your climax quickly approaching. "shit baby, if you keep squeezing me like that I'm not gonna last"

His thrust start to get sloppy, losing his rhythm as his hand speeds up on your aching clit. "I-I'm gonna-" you scream out in ecstasy and your back arches off the bed, your cunt squeezes him even harder which makes Bakugou let out a deep moan.

"where do-"

"inside" you say in between gasps and your response made him groan "fuck, princess" It doesn't take long for him to paint your walls white with his spend.

He leans down enveloping you in a deep passionate kiss before putting his full weight on top of you and keeping his cock inside you. Both of your breathing starts to steady and Bakugou nuzzles his head into your neck kissing it gently. "I love you Y/N" he whispers extremely quiet almost hoping you didn't hear him because he thinks it's to soon to say. You lean back slightly to look at his face and place a hand on his cheek, rubbing it gently "really?"

"yeah, I knew I'd fall in love with you the moment I saw you stand up for yourself to that bitch"

You stifle your laughter "I love you to Kats" You smile at him warmly and pull his face to yours to softly kiss him. You two lay in bad a little while longer just absorbing the warmth you share.

"okay, I'm feeling sticky, get up" you giggle. Bakugou sarcastically groans and gets up, pulling himself out of you. You sigh at the sudden emptiness but then notice Bakugou walking out of the room "where are you going?"

"getting a wet cloth, you said you were sticky"

You look at him with so much adoration and love. When he comes back into the room, he sits on the bed and wipes you down. After cleaning you up he lays back down on the bed and extends his arm to you, his silent way of telling you he wants you close. You slide into his hold and lay your head on his chest and all you can think before sleep takes ahold of you is 'how did I get so damn lucky?'

[dutifullylazybread]

THIS IS MY OFFICIAL REQUEST FOR CAL REALIZING HE'S GOT A CRUSH ON YOU AND CONFESSING HIS FEELINGS HEADCANNONS. LIKE ALL PRE-RELATIONSHIP ACTIVITY. I need to feed the brain-rot

I'M WEAK AND I'M POSTING A DAY EARLY

I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS

(I did take some liberties with this list—this list assumes that Cal, Lia, and Rolan stay with the tiefling refugees and all necessary steps are taken to get the three of them safely from the Druid’s Grove to Baldur’s Gate).

I ended up breaking this into two parts—one that talks about how Cal's feelings develop leading into the relationship/confession, and the other part which is a bit more scenario-driven (and it ended up being pre-relationship stuff that led into the start of the relationship itself).

General Headcanons

Cal begins to think that he might like you as more than a friend around the time that he realizes that he always hopes to run into you while out and about. Not in a “Oh, we’re both in the same place at the same time” sort of way but more in a “I hope Tav is there. That'd be nice. Maybe I should invite them?”

He has absolutely hoped to stumble into friends before, but he wasn't too bothered if it didn't happen.

You, however? If you aren't at a gathering, he feels poorer for it.

And when you two spend time together (be this in a group setting or on your own), he’s always stealing glances your way… and he realizes he doesn’t really do that with anyone else.

When someone tells a joke that he finds funny, he looks at you to see if you’re laughing as well. Every time.

He takes every opportunity to be near you. 

Even if you’re just running errands or doing something boring, he is over the moon to be invited along—even if you assure him that he doesn’t have to. His company is always welcome, but you wouldn’t be upset if he chose to go do something more enjoyable. 

“It’s no bother. The work is easier when there are two people to do it.”

If he goes shopping and sees something that reminds him of you, he will get it for you.

If you offhandedly mention that you like a certain type of food, don’t be surprised if he makes it for you. 

And if you ask him what the occasion was, he’ll shrug and say, “No reason,” or possibly, “It sounded like you haven’t had  it in a while.”

Cal strikes me as a very physically affectionate person; so long as you’re okay with hugs, he will embrace you when the two of you meet up and when the two of you part.

Though he does enjoy spontaneous hugs too.

And he does like holding your hand. A lot. 

He is the type of person who will check in to see if you need a drink refill or more food. It’s one way that he likes to take care of you, but he initially doesn’t think much of it, because he would do that for his siblings too.

And while Cal is fairly good at coming to his own conclusions about how he feels, Lia and Rolan most certainly tease him about how he acts around you.

Initially though, he thinks he is just being a good friend. 

Until he hugs you one day, and the hug lasts a moment longer than normal. And he notices how you feel pressed against him.

He realizes that it feels really, really natural to hold you close.

And you smell really, really nice. 

He realizes that you have always smelled that way. He has definitely picked up on it before, but for whatever reason, this time it really sticks.

This isn't a scent kink so much as it's a “I am taking comfort in something that is so utterly familiar and perfectly you” moment.

And then he starts to notice other things.

He likes the sound of your laugh. A lot. 

He particularly likes when he can get you to laugh, because you will look at him, eyes bright and face flushed.

And then there is a moment where your eyes meet, and you hold his gaze, and everything clicks into place.

And if he hadn't already figured out that he has a crush on you, he absolutely does then.

Rolan and Lia point out that it seems like he is daydreaming A LOT lately. And while he might be dismissive of this at first, it doesn’t take long for him to put two and two together—he’s thinking of you a lot.

And he is also talking about you much more often. Sometimes he repeats the same stories about you because, honestly, everything reminds him of you.

Rolan and Lia will tell him that he is repeating himself, but he just looks so happy whenever he talks about you.

So they'll usually wait for a pause in his story to lovingly tease him.

While Cal has always enjoyed hugging you before, he is melting into your embrace now. He is constantly looking for excuses to be close to you, to brush his arm against yours.

If he gets too flustered, his laugh raises in pitch and he'll slosh the drink he's holding all over himself.

To make matters worse, you think he's cute when he gets so worked up, and that's enough to make him light headed.

He doesn't strike me as someone who worries over saying the right thing. He isn't agonizing over every sentence, but he makes an effort to be kind. And if he is kind and transparent with people, then everything will be fine and any misunderstandings can, hopefully, be smoothed over.

But around the point that he starts to notice all these things that he likes about you, he starts to really worry about what he says and what you might infer.

Part of me thinks that, if Cal gets really deep into his stress over his crush for you, he becomes a nervous, giggling mess of a person.

This is to the point where he cannot have a discussion with you, because he is so nervous about what he will say.

“This person is incredible. I adore them so much. Oh, Hells, they're looking at me. Oh, Hells, they're gorgeous. OH, HELLS, THEY'RE COMING OVER TO SAY HELLO.”

Cal is clumsy, but when he is flustered, he practically trips over himself.

Will drop anything and everything when you are in close proximity.

Spills drinks and food everywhere because he gets caught up watching you laugh at a joke.

Will have bruises on his thighs, knees, and calves from how often he runs into furniture around you/when he is thinking of you. 

If Cal gets to this point, Rolan and Lia might intervene. They won't speak for their brother, but they will encourage/beg/urge him to talk to you. 

Their persistence will depend on how much Cal is agonizing over things. If he's just quietly pining but is content to spend time with you and it doesn't appear that he is struggling, they'll tease him.

If it's to the point where he is overanalyzing everything he says, they're going to be a lot firmer on him communicating his feelings to you.

“I think I made Tav uncomfortable.”

“Cal, you completely froze up and wouldn't make eye contact with them. They probably think that they're making you uncomfortable. For all of our sakes, just talk to them.”

So, Cal gathers his courage and asks you to go on an outing with him—something the two of you would do regardless of if you were a couple.

He will be nervous. He will be dropping things and bumping into the edges of furniture.

But here's the kicker: if you are nervous, blushing, and generally flustered about being around him, then his nerves will settle a little. Because he has had to be the calm, steady one for his siblings. It's in his nature to be there for others when they are struggling.

So you're both nervous. And you're both stumbling over yourselves.

It becomes a question of which one of you manages to confess first, but for the sake of this list, we'll say Cal manages as you were working up the courage.

And when you reciprocate his feelings and tell him how much you adore him, he looks fit to pass out from how relieved he is.

Your first kiss is clumsy—he bumps your forehead with his and his teeth click against yours. 

But it's honestly perfect.

If you are the calmer of the two, Cal will definitely take comfort in that as well.

“This is Tav. I trust them. They are an incredible person. They have never made me feel like I can't confide in them.”

So he works up the courage and confesses. He wants more than friendship with you. He likes you a lot. He might even be in love with you. He wants to find out.

And he hugs you so, so tightly when you confess that you feel the same.

We're talking a hug so tight and so close that, regardless of how tall you are, your feet are dangling off of the ground as he holds you to him.

Your first kiss is clumsy regardless. But it's perfect, because all your nerves and anxieties melt away in that moment.

And it’s just the two of you. And a world of possibilities has opened up before you.

Scenario-driven Headcanons: Following Game Events - Basically if Cal was a Romanceable NPC - From Crush to The Beginnings of A Relationship

So, personally, I think that Cal likely wouldn’t be considering a relationship while he and his family are fleeing from Elturel to Baldur’s Gate. It’s not that he is opposed to one—he’s just in survival mode. Not only that, but he is also pulling double shifts as Rolan’s and Lia’s mediator. The more time the three of them are on the road, the more his siblings are prone to argue. That just comes with the stress of being exiled from your home and dealing with food shortages and exhaustion. Both siblings have strong personalities and opinions on what matters (Rolan wants to ensure the safety of the three of them; Lia wants to ensure the safety of everyone), so if both have the energy, they’re going to argue. 

In the druid’s grove, the stress is at an all time high. Any day now, they could be turned out by the druids—who would effectively seal the grove off with the Rite of Thorns. And from there, who is to say that the goblins won’t attack? They might be small, but they have the numbers, the weapons, and control of the road. 

And if the goblins won’t get them, what else will they have to contend with?

First impressions are fleeting when you walk into the grove—Cal can’t get a good gauge on your character then.

Though he wasn’t terribly keen on Rolan and Lia arguing in front of everyone, he did appreciate that you diffused the situation… for the moment. 

And at the party? The first time he and his siblings allow themselves to relax, to forget the road ahead for the night, he starts to notice little things about you.

But just because he isn’t considering a relationship doesn’t mean he isn’t developing feelings—he just might not be paying them as much heed as he may if the situation were different.

Things that he might not usually observe with people—the way the corners of your eyes lift up when you smile, for example.

He most certainly likes hearing you laugh. He would like to hear you laugh more.

And when Rolan casts prestidigitation and lights the night sky, Cal finds his attention pulled away from the magic show to you. Your eyes are bright and you are set aglow.

And he finds you enchanting.

When you first walked into the grove, you carried yourself like any scrappy adventurer might. 

But at the party? Out of your fighting gear and not toting around a weapon? You’re… softer. Perhaps not quite as guarded as you would be on the road, waiting for some enemy to barrel out of the brush and attack you.

And he likes that.

And he starts to gravitate to you.

Though he doesn't think much of it, he will check in and see if you need your wine topped off or if you need something to eat. He figures he's looking out for you, perhaps thanking you for helping him and his family.

And you rather like how pleasant Cal is. He’s a breath of fresh air. Beyond getting to chat with you, getting to know you a bit better, he doesn’t seem to have any ulterior motives.

And you like talking to him. He seems to feel the same.

Rolan and Lia most definitely notice. And they will tease him relentlessly.

“You’re practically hanging off of every word they say, aren’t you? I don’t think you left their side for more than a few minutes tonight.”

And it's true. They're just stating the obvious. But they're teasing him. They seem to think he feels more than just friendly towards you.

He's torn between dismissing them out of pocket and considering what they have to say. Rolan and Lia may tease him, but they also have his best interests in mind. 

Because he really, really, likes when you look at him.

And when the two of you part ways for the evening, he does watch you walk away to join your companions.

He definitely lays awake that night replaying your interactions. He gets giddy over the ones that went well, and he cringes and curls in on himself over the moments where he was less than debonair.

While the tiefling refugees travel through the mountain pass, he daydreams about what it would be like if your traveling party and his didn't separate. What if you stayed with them?

How many more interactions could the two of you have had? 

He sees mountain flowers or a blue jay's feather, and he thinks about how, if you were traveling with them, he'd give those to you. He hopes that you would light up, but he would still get an idea of what you liked from your responses.

And then he thinks about how, at the end of the celebration, he said “until Baldur's Gate.” And he starts to think about how much he'd love to explore the city with you.

If you're from Baldur's Gate originally, maybe the two of you got to talking about some of your favorite places. You might have offered to show him around.

And you did suggest getting a pint or two at the Elfsong together. It's a nice enough place.

He makes a note to take you up on that offer.

The mountain pass is a long trek, but he doesn't really notice. His head is in the clouds.

Lia and Rolan tease him over how besotted he is, but it is nice to see him thinking about something other than survival.

And then they cross into the Shadow-Cursed Lands, and the cultists attack. Cal and Lia are separated from Rolan and taken to Moonrise.

Cal is mad at himself for indulging in those daydreams. Maybe he would have noticed the cultists sooner, had his mind been more present.

Every time he thinks about you in that dungeon, he does so with a twinge of shame. 

He doesn't go so far as to fantasize that you'll save him. The situation feels too hopeless. He and Lia mostly talk about Rolan and how they hope he didn't get hurt during the cultists’ ambush.

So when you walk down into the dungeon, traveling companions in tow, he's not sure if he believes his eyes.

Everything that happens next is a blur of activity. One moment, the cell Cal is in has a back wall. The next? It's gone and the path to freedom stretches out before him.

Between escaping the prison and getting onto the boat, he doesn't have the time to think.

When the Last Light Inn is in view, when you tell him Rolan is waiting for him and Lia, that is when everything snaps back into focus.

And when the Harpers check him for a tadpole and nothing happens, he breathes a sigh of relief.

Only for the tadpole to react to you when you approach.

And he panics.

You? You have one of those things in your skull? What does that mean for you? Does it hurt? Is it changing you?

You don't have all the answers either. And that makes matters worse.

He promises to do everything he can to find a cure… He isn't sure what he can do, but he has to do something.

And, once things have settled with Rolan and the inn quiets down for the night (or the closest semblance of night that there is in the Shadow-Cursed Lands) they talk.

Rolan promises to ask Lorroakan if Cal can read through the library in Ramazith's Tower. A wizard, of all people, should know something about ceremorphosis… right?

Should you talk to Cal before you leave for Moonrise again, he will urge you to fight against the tadpole—to not give in. He promises to help however he can, even if all he can manage is to patch your wounds.

And, so long as you are comfortable, he'll hug you. 

He doesn't want to let you go. For a moment, he doesn't think he can.

Because this amazing person, this individual who has saved his life twice and has reunited his family, well, they might die a gruesome death.

And that terrifies him.

But you survive the fight with Ketheric. And as you and your companions gather in Moonrise's throne room, Cal feels at ease. For the moment. 

And he is torn. He wishes that you would travel with them to the city, but he knows that a smaller group will move faster.

Should you speak with him after the battle, he will end your conversation the way he did at the celebration in Act 1.

“Until Baldur's Gate.”

And, should you be so inclined, you could leave him with a kiss on the cheek. He’ll smile bashfully.

“Well, I really hope that there will be more where that came from.”

When he and his siblings arrive in Rivington, they try to cross Wyrm’s Crossing together.

Only Rolan is allowed to pass through Wyrm’s Rock Fortress and into the lower city. He promises to send for them soon. They just need to hold tight and wait in the refugee camp.

But time passes and the communication from Rolan is sparse. So sparse that the two of them are beginning to panic. Rolan would never leave them in the lurch like this. Not unless something was truly wrong. They make plans. There must be other means of entering the city.

And, eventually, you and your companions arrive.

And you're alive. And he holds you close, feeling your heartbeat resonate in his chest.

But he's also frustrated. He hasn't managed to find anything that might cure your ceremorphosis. And now, he and Lia are asking you to look for Rolan. 

He asks you to be careful. He says he feels helpless because he can't cross into the city. 

And watching you head towards Wyrm’s Crossing has him gutted. You’ll likely end up walking into danger, but was he the one who sent you straight into it with his ask?

The days in the camp were miserable to begin with. No one is happy, and the people who live in Rivington are hostile to the refugees. Time drags on.

Cal now has three people to worry about—Rolan, Lia, and you.

Are you and Rolan alive? Did Rolan make it to his apprenticeship? Did you turn into a mind flayer?

And then, a few days later, Rolan sends a letter. 

He asks that Cal and Lia join him at Ramazith’s Tower. For good. They have a home now.

Cal and Lia pass by the Steel Watch and the Flaming Fist patrolling the crossing without incident.

And when they arrive at Ramazith's tower, they find their brother bruised and bloodied, but calm—relieved even.

And after the nerves of the road have settled, after they've cared for Rolan's injuries, and they are sitting in the tower’s study, Cal asks after you.

Rolan keeps the details vague, but he makes it perfectly clear that, were it not for you and your companions, the three of them wouldn't be sitting in that tower. No, if anything, Lorroakan wouldn't have lifted so much as a finger to help Cal and Lia pass into the city.

At this point, Rolan and Lia will gently tease Cal about his feelings for you.

“Well, they certainly know how to stick their nose into other people’s business, but they're tolerable enough. Invite them to dinner sometime.”

It isn't long before Cal is digging through the library, searching for books on Ceremorphosis.

Personally, I think he visits the Society of Brilliance per the suggestion of a shop patron.

And, when he gets there and the society sees how sincere Cal is, they introduce him to Omeluum.

These two hit it off, by the way.

Cal splits his work between reading through massive tomes and talking with Omeluum and Blurg.

He learns more about what it means to be a mind flayer. And he feels that, even if you were to transform, he’d want to be there to support you in whatever way he could.

And then, one day, as he is taking a break and cleaning the tower's study, you step through the portal.

He's speechless. He had realized back at Moonrise that his feelings for you extended beyond friendship, but to see you here? Now?

Rolan and Lia quietly excuse themselves while you two catch up.

You chat with him in the study, but eventually, Cal will ask for you to walk the balcony outside with him.

He is nervous. 

How does he begin to thank you for everything that you have done for him and his family? How does he begin to apologize for not finding a cure?

This interaction will end with Cal asking, “When all of this is said and done… Can I see you again? I'd… very much like to take you up on that pint. To celebrate.”

This interaction can end amicably or with a hug, but should you ask him, Cal will kiss you. He's careful, as if worried that one wrong move will ruin the moment. 

But, should you wish to continue the kiss, he lets himself melt into your embrace.

And, as he deepens the kiss, he'll hum softly, contentedly.

And, almost bashfully, he will mention that he'd love to show you his bedroom. He even offers for you to spend the night there. With him. Only if you want, of course.

The choice is yours.

He will say to you, either before you bid him farewell on the balcony (or as you are saying goodbye the following morning), “Please come back. Alive. I don't care if you've turned into a mind flayer or not. I just want you.”

But after Elturel's descent, where everyone prayed for the city to be returned to the material plane for life to then go back to normal (only for the Elturelian tieflings to promptly be exiled), he doesn't want to take a chance on things returning to normalcy after the Netherbrain is defeated.

So, before the final battle, the two of you get that pint at the Elfsong. And you talk for hours. 

It is entirely your call if the two of you end the evening by sharing a bed.

If you do, Cal holds you the entire night. He’s almost reluctant to let you go in the morning, because he is frightened that it might be the last time he sees you alive.

Should you and Cal share a kiss at any point in Act 3, he will appear in the grand hall before the final battle.

He jokes that Rolan has been practically obsessed with getting the Tower's cannon in working order. 

If you ask him for a good luck kiss, he will give you one. 

This kiss is urgent. Cal's eyes are squeezed shut as he presses his lips to yours. He is desperately trying to communicate all of his feelings to you in that one moment, and he knows his time is limited.

And then he pulls back with a shaky breath, resting his forehead against yours, his thumbs running down the line of your jaw.

“Come back, alright? I’ll be here, ready to patch you up. I… I love you."

[mxtxfanatic]

i think you'd articulate it much better than i could but i'd love to know your thoughts about disability in mxtx's work!

i love the way she has all her mcs deal with spiritual (?) disabilities (corelessness, without a cure, the shackles). i'd say it's like half a step removed from actual rep, but she handles it really thoughtfully imo!

( maybe including other stuff/characters like the bm trauma etc)

Idk, I’ve never thought of stuff like the golden core removals or Without-a-cure as disabilities, because they only affect cultivation, which is not innate to the human body. It’s like claiming that an able-bodied person has a mobility disability because they no longer have a car. Yeah it takes longer to get places because you have to walk, now, but that doesn’t make you disabled. I am much more willing to talk about disability in mxtx novels through the lens of mental illness.

I like how mental illnesses like trauma and ptsd are handled through community care and not random vent sessions as stand-ins for modern therapy. I feel like this takes a more realistic approach on what it could look like when you take trauma seriously instead of relegating all healing to individualistic habit changes. For instance: the onset of Xie Lian’s spiral into his panic attacks and depression was being abandoned by his closest friends and then the suicide of his parents. Before that, he was able to continue on after the fall of Xianle based on their support of him, but after everyone leaves and he’s alone, he sinks heavily into despair. It is only after experiencing the unconditional support of Wuming that he is able to pull himself out of the pit, and meeting Hua Cheng later is what gives him to confidence to actually open himself back up again instead of taking on issues alone because he had no one to rely on anymore.

In mdzs, Wei Wuxian during the war and immediately post-war aftermath is a very tense person, still polite and charming but very distant from his peers. Part of that is the cultivation world beginning to treat him differently as they covet his power, but another part is that he had to remain on guard to protect himself, even from the people who he was formerly closest with. There was no one that he could depend on until he liberated the Qionqi Path labor camp. Afterwards, we see how Wei Wuxian is returned to his silly, playful self after spending time with the Wen remnants in the Burial Mounds, even though logically, this was the most dangerous time of his life outside of literal war in his first lifetime. The difference, however, is that he actually has people that he doesn’t have to guard against and who he can be honest and free with despite all the messy lines of debt and repayment that initially bound them together.

In svsss, though I don’t think Shen Qingqiu had any mental health issues, the thing that differentiates him from Shen Jiu is that Shen Qingqiu built up relationships with his martial siblings in the few years he had transmigrated, while the original goods kept himself intentionally isolated in his own sea of bitterness and jealousy. When the world turns against Shen Jiu, it is of his own making, but when the same happens to Shen Qingqiu, he has a whole mountain at his back ready to defend him—or even just his body! And in the post-canon when something happens on bingqiu’s time away, his first thought is “let’s go back to the sect for protection.” He never has a chance to fall into that same despair because he knows he has a community of support in case anything goes wrong. On the opposite end of things, the lack of love, community, and inclusion is what eventually sets Luo Binghe on his descent into madness, and it is the assurance that Shen Qingqiu both loves him and will never abandon him that pulls him back from the brink.

I’ve seen quite a few people make snide comments about how “of course” mxtx characters react badly to trauma because they exist in a setting without therapy, but I think this both ignores the autonomy of the characters (wwx, xl, or even yqy do not react to being traumatized in the same way that, say, sj or mq do) and also the fact that the solution to a lot of mental health issues that arise from trauma is a change in circumstances and having community. So even though therapy doesn’t exist in mxtx novels, the solutions to a lot of these problems still feels realistic and intentional rather than falling into “everyone traumatized will turn evil” or “love cures all, don’t look too deeply into it,” while also putting onus on the individual to choose healing rather than it being something that just passively happens to them.

[getvalentined]

The Big Patreon Breakdown

Okay, Patreon's Discord Q&A ended on the 16th, and I've been waiting to see if anything else happened—like maybe a a public announcement from Patreon instead of emails sent exclusively to creators and a video hidden on the CEO's personal YT page—but nothing has happened, so I'm gonna do a breakdown of what we're looking at.

This is an EXTREMELY long post. I am not putting it behind a cut. I'm not sorry.

Short attention span version here.

—

I. The iOS processing fees are a smokescreen covering up the actual devastating changes that Patreon is forcing creators into.

The iOS fees are trash, 30 percent is extortion and we all know it—but that's not the biggest issue at hand here. Patreon is using this event as an excuse to change the entire structure of the creator side of their platform, and blaming Apple to avoid getting backlash.

They tripled their platform and processing fees in 2017, passing it on to patrons without notice, and the subsequent hemorrhage of paying users forced them to walk it back. They tried to force everyone onto their rolling billing model in 2021, and the entire community pushed back so hard they were forced again to walk it back.

This time, they're doing both and insisting it's Apple's fault, and everyone is taking that at face value because Apple sucks. And Apple does suck, but Patreon is getting what they've wanted for years by catering to Apple.

Oh, also, they're forcing creators to notify their patrons of the billing model changes (with a suggested template that explicitly refers to it as a decision made by the creator, even though nobody is making any decisions here except Jack Conte) rather than doing it themselves.

II. Patreon is not going to change course for any reason. This is set in stone.

There are multiple proofs for this, including but not limited to:

One-on-one calls between the platform's top earners and the CEO, Jack Conte, wherein the vibe was apparently not "What can we do to support your business in order to retain your place on our platform?" but rather "We know that the only way this works is if we don't do it, but how can we keep you from complaining about it any more than you already have?" One creator explained in granular detail how they run their business through this platform and why changing their billing model would ruin literally everything, and Conte responded with "Is this an essential part of your offering?"

The Patreon Team on Discord has continued to shut down all discussion of alternative options with assertions that Apple won't allow it, even if those alternatives were suggested based on legal precedent set by lawsuits against Apple, and the declaration that they will not be allowing the app to be removed from the App Store no matter what because it's the single most important and integral avenue of creator growth on the platform. (Put a pin in that.)

The platform's top earner is on the pay-per-creation billing model, the one that is going to be hit the hardest; creators on this model stand to lose literally 90 percent of their income overnight. This creator and his team were as blindsided as the rest of us, and they've been offered no assistance except for a complex math equation to try to calculate how much they should be charging people on fixed-price tiers, and no assurance except "the iOS app is the platform's highest source of engagement and is necessary to help you continue to grow."

Pay-upfront (PUF) and pay-per-creation (PPC) billing is going away for new accounts and anyone who doesn't opt out via Patreon's convoluted backend before November 1 of this year, and anyone who doesn't manually switch over to their rolling billing cycle will be automatically pushed into it on November 1, 2025. This means that PUF creators no longer have the promise of a steady paycheck when they need it, early enough in the month to pay rent and bills, while PPC creators are losing their entire business model all at once, which has resulted in a loss of 75 to 90 percent of income for multiple PPC creators who have tried to switch to the rolling billing structure in the past. They are killing these people's livelihoods and they know it, they have seen the data to prove it, but they will not be swayed.

III. Patreon claims the iOS app is the highest source of engagement on the platform at 40 percent—but will not define what "engagement" means, and staff refuse to share detailed analytics or data on the revenue share coming from the app.

Several creators, some with a couple dozen patrons and some with thousands, polled their audience to get a feel for how many of them used the app. Consistently across every creative industry, genre, and form of media, the answer was 2 percent or less. The average across a dozen-plus polls of actual active patrons, numbering into the thousands, is that around 85 percent of patrons access the platform exclusively via the web, whether on desktop or mobile. The majority didn't even know there was an app.

Further, Patreon would not explain what "engagement" means, but did not deny the possibility that dismissing an app notification on your phone counts as an "engagement."

When Patreon was asked for data on how often people pledged to support a creator via the iOS app, the only response was the claim that information is "sensitive to [Patreon's] business" and can't be shared. In a creator-exclusive server. With the people who bring that revenue onto the platform in the first place. And have our own analytics that we can look at individually, which show an average of 0 to 0.5 percent revenue from the iOS app.

IV. Patreon does not have a refund policy in place to work with Apple, and has given no implications of intention to work with Apple to shorten the time it takes for funds from iOS purchases to be paid out to creators, which is currently 75 days.

Yes, you read that correctly: at the moment, it takes 75 days before creators can cash out funds processed via iOS. On top of that, Apple's refund policy is 60 days, and the creator is not involved in the process whatsoever—if a malicious actor pledges to your page, downloads all your work over the course of a month, and then pings Apple for a refund? Apple gets to decide whether or not they get that refund.

Patreon's general refund policy is that it's up to the creator 99.9 percent of the time, with very rare cases of fraud requiring Patreon's intervention. In the case of pledges and Commerce sales via iOS, the creator has no say, and Patreon currently has no policy to protect them. They've stated that they're working on a refund policy that will work with Apple's guidelines to keep everyone happy, but at this point we all know what that means—they're just going to use Apple's refund policy.

They also wouldn't say whether or not creators would be on the hook for Apple's added processing fees, as is usually the case with other big payment processors, but it sounds like we are! So if someone pays $14.50 on the iOS app, the creator gets $10, can't pay it out, and then the malicious actor can call for a refund weeks later and the creator will owe $14.50—in spite of only ever having seen $10 and never being able to pay it out because the 75 hold hadn't passed. Sounds great!

V. Patreon's own graphics meant to explain why this is necessary and how the new fees work are not correct.

I'm gonna let these mostly speak for themselves:

The sale price listed on this graphic is $10, but adding together the three fees listed gives a total of $11.35. This is likely a copying error, as 4.35 is clearly not 30% of 10, but the lack of attention to detail on one of the only two pieces of official material that we have which refer directly to the numbers on which Patreon is signing away our livelihoods is slightly concerning.

This one totals up to 103 percent! (Actually closer to 104, since I rounded Android and Mobile down by about a quarter percent each.) The 40 percent figure on the iOS bar is based on the figure given to us by Patreon staff, and was used to place the markers to denote individual percentages on the other three.

Patreon made these and gave them to us with the assertion that they were proof that the iOS app is indispensable—why should we trust anything they say about numbers if the charts they gave us are literally impossible?

VI. Patreon refuses to offer any promises to 18+ creators that they will not be removed from the app in order to adhere to Apple's content guidelines.

Instead, Patreon staff's response to this request for reassurance is "We have no plans to remove 18+ creators from the Patreon app." You may note that's phrased very specifically, and leaves a hole big enough to drive a freight train full of iPhones straight through. They have no plans to remove 18+ creators from the app. When asked for clarification on this, confirmation that they would not be removing us from the platform if Apple pushed them to do so regardless of whether or not they have plans, this sentiment was simply repeated in more words and with more apologies, along with a reminder that Patreon has had to change their terms for 18+ creators several times already in order to keep up with laws and competition.

VII. All the features Patreon is insisting are integral for creator growth are inaccessible to 18+ creators, and questions about this were either dismissed, redirected, or ignored.

Remember how the iOS app is the single most important and integral avenue for character growth on the platform? Well, 18+ creators are not discoverable on the platform, regardless of the avenue of access. We are not visible on the app unless you have it installed, are logged in, are already following us on the platform, and click an external link to be directed to our pages from somewhere else via a mobile web browser. There is no way to find us on the platform itself.

Other features that staff insist are necessary for growth to which 18+ creators do not have access:

Patreon creator search (on web, Android and iOS apps)

Mass post editing (now called the "Library," which reads as "Something Went Wrong" for me and other 18+ creators who tried to get to it)

On-platform video hosting

Built-in cross-creator recommendations

All on-platform "commerce" features (both digital and physical goods)

The ability to market ourselves by linking to Patreon from our social media and vice-versa (we're basically not allowed to do this or risk being banned)

Yeah, about that first and that last point. We're hidden from searches on the platform, and we can't link to our pages from social media or risk permanent suspension. We cannot grow in this fashion at all, and in fact 18+ creators are getting all the downsides of this switch (except maybe for the app fee, since you can't fucking find us to pledge on the app) with none of the benefits. Nothing they are doing here will help us grow, because they've kneecapped us already. Now they're going after our capacity to obtain a steady paycheck at the beginning of the month, too.

VIII. Patreon's iOS app is currently (as of August 18, 2024) in violation of Apple's guidelines for app ratings; staff did not state any intention to become compliant by raising the app's rating as needed to maintain their 18+ creator community.

The App Store guidelines on creator apps state that they must be rated equal to the highest rated creator content on their platform. In spite of hosting 18+ content, which requires a 17+ rating per Apple, Patreon is rated 12+ in the App Store. Increasing the rating to 17+ would cut out the entire market of wealthy teenagers with iPhones, and since everything else being done here is intended to please Apple, it's unlikely this will be the point that Patreon finally gives an inch for its creators. The exact response from staff on this was "We hear and acknowledge your inputs on the app rating and are exploring our options there." Their "options" on this are to increase the rating, or to remove all 18+ content from the platform. That's it. Those are their options. Why do those need exploring, if they really give a shit about the 18+ community?

I know a lot of people out there are going to say that it would be nice if Patreon would "get rid of the porn," but you need to understand something: 18+ content is not all sexual.

18+ content can and does also include:

Horror (particularly body horror, which is explicitly or implicitly banned on all current adult-specific creator platforms, leaving me nowhere to go when Patreon kicks me)

True crime (murder, violence, theft, etc., is all 18+)

Health (blood/discussion of blood is 18+ regardless of context)

Education (what if you learn about war? that's 18+)

Trauma recovery (the word "r#pe" makes everything around it 18+)

Profanity (ko-fi marks creators 18+ for saying "fuck")

Languages (because you might learn profanity)

Weaponsmithing (because weapons are dangerous)

Leatherworking (because leather can be a fetish)

Shoemaking (feet can also be a fetish)

...even more I'm not bothering to list here.

Implying that they somehow didn't know about this extremely important part of the guidelines—which are being used as an excuse to force the top earner on the platform to ruin his entire business model—is absolute nonsense. Patreon knows about this requirement, they haven't taken any steps to comply based on their current creator population, and I will be shocked if they do. Much easier to just kick us all off, since we can barely use the damn platform as it is.

—

The entire thing makes no sense. Patreon is losing out on so much money by doing this—they're crippling all their highest-earning creators to keep the iOS app running, and it's going to hurt everyone except for Apple. The only reason I can think that they would refuse to budge on this is that there's something else going on behind the scenes between Patreon and Apple. That, or the company is intentionally throwing itself into an extremely drawn out death spiral. But we all know which of those is the more likely scenario here.

[bunnelbaby]

Please donate if you can. If you are unable to, please share so others who are able to contribute can see!

𐐪𐑂 welcome to my little bunny meadow, dear friend! please refer to me as bunny or bunnelbaby and with she/her pronouns. I am 22 years old, nonbinary, bi and polyamorous!

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[apprenticestanheight]

Post Bathroom trap! Adam Stanheight x gn! reader headcanons

allllll right!! An anon came into my inbox and got me thinking about Adam as a vet as he mentioned wanting to be one the original saw script, and now this exists! Thank you to that anon for spurring on this idea (though you had no idea you did, and I have no idea if you're reading this) this was fun to write!

this fic was ALSO an excuse to imagine adam in this style of glasses (I can admit that I am entirely biased as a glasses wearer myself but I thought about it for two seconds and then was like "this will never cease to be my favorite thing ever." so now we're here)

Fic type- fluff

Warnings- mentions of PTSD related avoidance (adam refuses to go back to the part of the city where the trap was located), mentions of nightmares/anxiety and ptsd being tripped up by something unspecified, mentions of dehydration and starvation after Adam was rescued. Also, this set of headcanons was longer than I had meant for it to be so oops.

Okay, so!!

Adam is found by the police with Lawrences help (also john kramers--a guilt ridden Lawrence Gordon would BEG for Adams life to be saved and for the spare key to the cuff on Adams ankle and you cannot ever convince me otherwise) and insistence from you (who had filed a missing persons report after a day of missed calls, texts that never delivered, and the stray cat Adam occasionally looked after was found mewing at his door, begging to be allowed entrance to his apartment) after four days. He's starving and dehydrated as all fucking hell, but he dimly registers being lifted onto a gurney and the sound of your voice as you tell him you love him and that he's alive, that he's okay.

He goes through surgery (y'know, bullet wounds and all) and wakes up to be told that, due to the spot in his shoulder where the bullet wound up, he's probably going to deal with consistent pain there the rest of his life.

He's just grateful to be out, really. Grateful that Lawrence kept his word, grateful that you harassed the police, in essence, because you cared so much about him.

He's rehydrated with fluids and eats until he's not hungry anymore, still finding the time within exhaustion and it's interruptions with food and your company to fret about seeing Lawrence in the hospital.

I mean--Lawrence does come to see him, but only when he's asleep because stressing Adam out is not a good idea when he's been out of the trap for two days and is going to be in the hospital for another five at minimum.

Lawrence writes Adam a letter of apology, though, and Adam reads it while you've gone home to shower and to feed the stray that comes by his apartment. He doesn't want to accept Lawrences apology to his face, but he decides that some part of him understands why Lawrence did it as he did, and internally accepts Lawrences apology, deciding to let himself move on from it as best he can.

Adam gets discharged from the hospital after a week, at which point he's like "okay. to start, I need to stop doing freelance. That shit almost got me killed."

He's also traumatized and VERY anxious about going to the part of Jersey where the trap is located. Being freelance might mean he has to go to that area, which plays a bigger part than he's willing to admit.

He's sitting in your apartment one day, having been too anxious to go back to his even after he'd been assured that Jigsaw believed how grateful he'd managed to become and would not test him again unless he did something that Jigsaw deemed worthy of such a test.

He starts thinking about life while sitting at your kitchen table, open and closing his fist while doing that "powpowpowpowpow!!" sound that you do when you're messing with kittens as the stray you'd taken in after finding her covered in oil on the side of the road had found herself on your kitchen table.

He looks at you, having just ordered your favorite takeout, and goes "Remember high school?"

You nod at this, anxious but excited to see where, exactly, he plans to take the conversation.

"We started dating in October of sophomore year," you said. "You dropped out March of junior year, Adam. I remember it."

Adam remembers it, too, watching you walk across the stage as a high school graduate where he'd dropped out because he was flunking. He remembers feeling proud of you, supporting you with forehead kisses and promises to order your favorite food if you studied, helping you work your way through your college degree.

"What's got you thinking about it?" you'd ask as Adam lifted the stray orange tabby kitten into his arms, tucking her under his chin.

"I was thinking... remember how I wanted to be a vet?"

You look at him, head tilted, mouth slightly agape. Of course you'd remembered, but those dreams were ones you thought he'd given up on.

"Yeah," you nod. "Yeah. I remember. Why?"

"I was looking into it and I think I'm going to get my GED," Adam says. "Might also look into taking the SATs, I heard that a decent score will help me get a bachelors degree. Once I get my bachelors, I'll go to vet school."

"Adam," you whisper, a little stunned. "Oh my God. Are you serious?"

Adam grins, gaze meeting yours as he nods.

You have a like,, like,, you're just...

you're SO HAPPY because you have loved that man for a literal DECADE by the time he's like "okay yeah. I'm going to get my life together."

You stand up and head to the kitchen, delighting in the sound of Adams laughter as you go.

"Grabbing the good whiskey?" He calls.

"The best stuff in our cabinets!" you call back.

So the cycle starts.

Adam gets himself enrolled in the GED program your old high school offers, and many nights are spent with Adam, glasses on his face and cat dubbed Spice sitting on the couch cushion behind him, studying to make sure he gets the materials right.

You help him take practice tests and kiss him senseless the first time he gets a near perfect score, and from then it only seems like things get better.

Adam aces the GED test and gets the diploma, lets himself smoke a cigarette for the first time since the trap to celebrate the victory because, even if he didn't get the diploma until eight years after he should've graduated and gotten it, he still got it.

Then, you help him study for the SATs and Spice the cat bats at his notes and the textbooks he studies from whenever one of their corners is hanging off the coffee table.

You get VERY USED to the sight of Adam in his glasses because,, studying and wearing CONTACTS?? no. that sounds like a nightmare.

he gets a good score on the SATs and then applies to a decent college in the city to do a bachelors in science with a focus on zoology.

GUESS WHAT?? He's in college doing his bachelors and working part time as a secretary at the local vets office so that he can sort of get a feel for the environment he'll be expecting post vet school.

You're at his side throughout the entirety of it, and when Adam starts going to therapy (lets be honest--he busies himself with first his GED, then the SATS, then applying and getting into the college he wants for his bachelors and also working part time at the vets offices to avoid thinking about his experience in the bathroom trap) you're supportive of him throughout every step because he supported you through high school, and college, and the long nights spent making sure your career went how you wanted it to go.

He and Lawrence develop a friendship after some time as well, which is nice, and eventually, without realizing it, Adam has developed his own little support system.

Granted, by the time he's hitting 30 and graduating with his bachelors, it's 2008 and his support system is made up of his partner, a doctor with whom he was trapped by the oh-so infamous Jigsaw, and an orange tabby cat who you lovingly washed free of oil and ticks with dawn dish soap when she was two weeks old, but it counts.

He gets into vet school and you hug-tackle him when he tells you the news.

You knock his glasses onto the floor and the two of you end up kissing, breathless on the couch of the apartment you'd moved into together, both because your old one was heading steadfastly into disrepair and remaining unfixed by the landlord, and to celebrate that he'd finished the bachelors degree at which he had worked tirelessly.

The two of you watch Spice the cat bat his glasses around, breathless but completely and utterly elated.

Adam goes to a vet school in the state and it's more studying, more forehead kisses and a lot of restless nights consumed by kissing whenever he correctly guesses the answer from one of his study flashcards, making jokes and laughing just a bit at one anothers expenses, crying into Spice the cats fur whenever it all gets too overwhelming.

he graduates the vet school in 2012, and at that point he has an 'oh shit' moment where he's like

"okay wait. so. I am thirty four. I have been dating Y/N since we were sixteen. we've been dating for eighteen years and haven't gotten married?? what??"

SO HE'S LIKE: 'okay. vets make decent money. I am going to buy them a ring and it's gonna be amazing.'

realistically, he's thirty four and realizing at that point (when the two of you are financially stable enough to be looking at fucking HOUSES in the early 2010s) that the two of you have been together for more than half of your lives and he's making good enough money that money and making the rent isn't a concern anymore and it's a genuine shock.

John Kramer died (which was a story that broke national news) and Adam has had the time to heal, which he finds even odder but it's--it's a nice kind of odd.

So, he starts working as a vet at the office where he used to be a secretary and with his first paycheck, he BUYS YOU A RING. SWEET SWEET MAN.

He proposes in February of 2013 (not on valentines day, but on the 26th because that's your nineteen year anniversary) at the place where you had your first date

the place?? a bookstore that sold used cameras at a discount. Adam proposed to you with a book of memories and photographs he'd taken chronicling those memories. At the end it has the words 'will you marry me?' and a photo of Spice the cat asleep on a sign that says 'look up' so then you do

AND BOOM. HE'S ON HIS KNEE. A BOX IS OPEN IN HIS HAND. A RING IS IN THAT BOX.

You laugh a little and pull a ring out of your pocket, offering it to him as you try to fend off the urge to comment about how unserious it seems despite how serious it is.

ADAM IS AS SHOCKED AS YOU WERE WHEN HE BROUGHT UP GETTING HIS GED.

He's like "a ring? why would they--OH SHIT. THEY HAD THE SAME IDEA."

The two of you just...silently laugh in the bookstore while you nod and slip the rings you bought onto the others finger, kissing and hugging because what even was that day. what.

You get married on that day in 2014, when the two of you have been together for a literal whole entire TWENTY FUCKING YEARS because you're just that cool.

It's also a little weird for Adam--he's 36 at this point, the anniversary of his escaping the trap will come around in late November.

Its good weird, though. He's still privy to weed on occasion--particularly nights where the nightmares come back and he can't sleep, or when he sees something that trips him up and sends him back to that bathroom, cuffed by the ankle to a pipe, the key having gone skittering down the drain--but he doesn't smoke nearly as often as he did during his mid-twenties.

man rakes in 125,000 american dollars, has a fucking MORTGAGE AND CAR INSURANCE BILL and on the day of the wedding you two are looking back at 2004 and are just like "woah. A lot has changed in the last decade"

Adam has gotten to become the person that the guy who was cuffed by the ankle never thought he'd be, though, so he's super proud of himself and his accomplishments.

you're proud of him, too--you have a cat, a mortgage, a car insurance bill and aren't worried about the paying of any of those bills in the slightest. Marrying him is one of your greatest accomplishments because?? hello?? marrying the love of your life who turned his life around in less than six thousand days?? he is. he is amazing. and you just. you just love him wholeheartedly

all in all, it's a good existence and I have to believe Adam would've done good for himself after surviving the trap because if I don't then I can't sleep at night lolz

[ladytauria]

Oooh for the ask game how about....voice actor au or single parent au. And pairings...hm, I'd like anything with Jason but actually I wanna see what you cook.

[[ i am working on a response to the voice actor au request as well but i think it’s going to take me a bit longer because i’m indecisive 😂 so i’m posting this one now and i’ll post that one when it’s done~ ]]

i actually have a single dad jason + eventual jaytim au in my notes. well i have more than one but this one is the most fleshed out (edit: ah… i was trying to type up a streamlined version but i ended up fleshing a couple more things out… it’s still shorter but. not as short as i was aiming for 😂)

Tim has been away from Gotham for a while—spreading his wings, developing who he is as a vigilante outside of Gotham (and Bruce). He returns after about a year, I think. During that year, Jason ended up with a kid. I have a few different ideas on how, lol, but regardless of her origin, Jason has a kid & he’s utterly wrapped around her finger, lmao. Tim knew that he had a kid but knowing is different from seeing it in person and something about it draws him in.

Tim and Jason’s territories have enough overlap that they often had occasion to work together before Tim left, and that’s true now that he’s back, too. More frequent, even, since Jason prioritizes spending time with / taking care of his kid when he can.

While he does hold Tim at arm’s length at first, after time spent working together, he starts letting Tim in, bit by bit. It’s a lot of little moments, building on each other. I think the biggest turning point is when he invites Tim over to eat before patrol, because he doesn’t think Tim eats enough real, hearty food xD And then that becomes a semi-regular thing—something Tim comes to cherish; bonding with Jason and his daughter.

He gets to know them, both of them. The tiny imperfections, the day-to-day mannerisms and habits, the little idiosyncrasies that make up who they are. And then one day, Tim looks up and realizes that he’s fallen in love with Jason, wants to be part of his and his daughter’s lives as something more than just Jason’s co-worker or friend… and that absolutely terrifies him.

Being with Jason is now about more than just… being with Jason. There’s a kid involved too, and… Tim doesn’t want to mess her life up. He’s not exactly the most stable of people.

But then something goes wrong on patrol, and Jason is captured, or cut off from everyone else. He needs rescue. The others mount a rescue, and Tim… he almost joins them. But… his first thought after, We need to find Jason, is about the kid. It’s true there are other people who could watch her, people Jason trusts… but most of them are outside of Gotham. So Tim chooses to trust the others to find and rescue Jason, and focuses on taking care of Jason’s daughter instead.

The others do manage to rescue Jason. He’s been injured & will be laid up a while, but he’ll heal. As soon as it’s okay to do so, Tim brings the kid to see him. After she’s assured that her dad is okay, Jason gets her talking about what she’s been up to while he was gone. And ofc, a lot of what she talks about is Tim, and the normalcy he did his best to give her.

She tires out eventually and falls asleep in Jason’s arms. Jason thanks Tim for caring for her, which Tim brushes off. No big deal, she’s a great kid, anyone would have done it. Jason’s not buying it though. He knows how hard it is to sit on the sidelines, for any of them. He also knows how devoted Tim is to the cause, to the Mission. Him choosing to set that aside for Jason’s kid is a big deal, even if it was only a short while.

Tim’s feelings aren’t one-sided—but Jason had a lot of the same fears Tim did. That he wouldn’t put her first. This is just one time, but it makes him hopeful for the future. So obviously Jason makes a move.

Tim argues, of course. Jason contradicts him with evidence, of the last few weeks. Of how Tim has already made her a priority, and this is just the most obvious sign yet. Tim tells him he’s scared. He has no idea how to be a parent.

“What, and you think I do?” Jason demands, brows knitted.

“Yes? Jason, you’re so good with her. You’re an amazing father,” Tim says earnestly.

Jason flushes darkly. “I— Look, I gave up on the idea of having kids a long time ago. So when I got her… I mean, you remember. I was a mess. I had no idea what I was doing, and honestly? I still don’t. I fuck up. Probably more than I even realize. But— She’s worth it. And, god, Tim. You’re good with her. I think— You could. If you wanted.”

Tim swallows around the lump in his throat. “You’d really trust me with her?”

“I already do. And—hell. It’s not like you’d be doing it alone. You—” Jason’s flush spreads to his ears and down the back of his neck. “I’d have your back.”

Tim gets misty-eyed. He agrees, on the condition that they take it slow. Which Jason agrees to, because ofc they need to go slow with this. And uh… happily ever after? Eventually?

[elianamarie-blog]

The Things You Give Pt. 34

We're almost to the end!! I'm so excited to share this chapter with you and all I've got to say is...muahahahaha!

I also want to apologize for the lack of posting on here. I've lost motivation these last year. We've gone through a lot personally but I really want to finish this and boy and boy am I glad I did! The motivation came back today as I put on That 70's Show and it feels soooo good! I'm probably going to let out a few more chapters at most because this story has gotten a lot longer than it was supposed to. But I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think <3

Y/n was panting and struggling to breathe properly as the contractions came on.

“Oh, my God. What should we do?” Jackie asked, almost panicking.

“We need to get her to the hospital!” Markus cried out and turned towards the stairs, suspecting that’s where Kitty or Red may be. “Mr. and Mrs. Forman?! We could really use your help!” A beat passed and he turned to his girlfriend. “Go find one of them. Now. And tell them Y/n is in labor.”

Jackie nodded and ran into the kitchen, calling for Kitty and Red.

Markus whipped back to Y/n who was struggling to breathe from the pain. “Y/n, breathe. It’s going to be okay.”

“I…want…Steven!” Y/n panted as she could barley form words.

“Here, hold on to my han—AAHHH!” Markus screamed as Y/n crushed his hand with hers. “Thank God we’re going to the hospital, right?” He chuckled through the pain. “Jackie! Where are you?!”

“Here!” she called, walking out from the kitchen with Kitty in tow.

“Y/n, honey, what’s going on?” Kitty asked, concerned.

“Her water broke and the contractions are already starting,” Markus explained as calmly as he could.

“Oh, my God, the babies are coming—Red!” Kitty called excitedly. “It’s time!”

“What?” Red asked as he stomped down the stairs, annoyed. “What are you yelling—Y/n, are you okay?”

“Red, she’s in labor!” Kitty explained. “Everyone, get in the car!”

“I’ll stay here and call Steven,” Jackie offered.

“Number to the venue is on the—” Y/n was cut off as another contraction hit her. “Counter,” she strained.

“No, no, no you’re not staying here with your boyfriend,” Red said. “I barley trust you kids in my house when my kids are home; I definitely don’t trust you by yourselves.”

“Don’t worry, Mr. Forman. I’m not staying. I’m going to go to the venue and see if I can catch them,” Markus said.

“How do I know you’re not just saying that?” Red asked, skeptically.

At that moment, Y/n led out a frustrated and pained scream. “Can we finish this conversation later?!”

“She’s right. Let’s go, Red,” Kitty said, grabbing Y/n’s arm and gently guided her out the door.

“I’ll go call Steven. Markus, go to the venue,” Jackie ordered.

“Aye, aye, Captain Hottie,” he smirked before grabbing his keys and walked out.

                                                        ---

“Okay, Y/n breathe,” Kitty instructed as Red drove like a madman to the hospital.

Y/n was doing deep breaths to try and steady the pain. “This is a big one!”

“I know, but you can do it!” Kitty encouraged.

“Is Steven going to make it?” she asked through breaths.

“Oh, I’m sure he is,” Kitty assured. “Jackie is on it. Remember what she did at the wedding?”

Y/n nodded as the pain finally started to subside. “Yeah, she was awesome.” A beat passed before she spoke up again. “Don’t tell her I said that.” Pulsating pain came on as her stomach felt rock hard. “Here comes another one.”

“We’re almost there, honey,” Kitty said, rubbing her shoulder. “Red, step on it!”

                                               Meanwhile…

Loud rock music filled the air at the venue as the group jammed out from the crowd.

“This is the greatest day of my life!” Kelso shouted at his friends.

“Agreed!” Donna replied as Immigrant Song started.

“Hell yeah!” Eric whooped as he lit up a lighter.  

“Play that funky music white boys!” Fez shouted excitedly.

Everyone was having the greatest time, except for Hyde. He would occasionally whoop and holler, but the thought of Y/n being home while he was out having fun didn't sit right with him. It wasn’t until the song ended and the band moved onto the next that he nudged Fez, getting his attention.

“Hey, man, I’ll be right back.”

“Sure!” Fez said, barley paying attention.

Hyde rolled his eyes at his friend before leaving the arena and walking to the recession stand.

“Hi, how can I help you?” the young blonde woman asked as he approached her.

“Can I use your phone?”

“Absolutely,” she chirped and brought the phone out from beside the register. “Just dial 9 first.”

“Thanks,” he muttered and dialed the house number. It rang three times before someone picked up.

“Hello? Steven?”

“Jackie?” Hyde asked, scrunching his face. “What’re you doing at the house? Where’s Y/n?”

“Markus and I came over to be with Y/n to keep her company while you guys were gone,” she explained.

“Oh. Well, where is she? I want to talk to her.”

“Yeah…sorry, you can’t.”

“What? Why?”

“Because she isn’t here,” she replied.

Steven sighed, starting to feel irritated. “Where is she then?”

“At the hospital.”

“What?!” he almost yelled. “Why didn’t you lead with that? Is she in labor?!”

“Yes, she’s on the way. I stayed behind in case you called. If you leave now you might be able to meet her there.”

The phone almost slipped out his hand. “Oh, my God…”

“Steven…are you okay?”

“I’m on my way. Tell her to try to not have the babies until I get there!” He hung up the phone before she could answer and ran back into the arena where his friends were.

“Hey, man, where’d you go?” Eric asked while keeping his eye on the band.

“Y/n’s in labor!” Steven shouted.

Eric snapped his head towards his friend with wide eyes. “WHAT?!”

“Yeah, man, we gotta go!”

“Yeah, okay,” Eric said, nodding frantically and turned to Donna. “We gotta go!”

“What? Why?” she asked, smiling and hooting.

“Because Y/n is in labor!”

Her smile quickly disappeared as her attention snapped from the band to her boyfriend and friend. “WHAT?!”

“We’ve gotta go! She’s on her way to the hospital right now!” Hyde said.

“Right, okay,” Donna said, almost in a panic and turned to the boys. “Guys, Y/n’s in labor!”

“What?” Kelso shouted back. “Y/n’s the neighbor?”

“No, you dunce! Y/n’s in labor!” she repeated.

“Y/n’s the greater?” Kelso asked, even more confused. “Speak English, Donna, you’re not making any sense.”

“Y/N IS IN LABOR, YOU FOOL!” Fez screamed.

“Oh, my God!” Kelso shouted.

“Yeah, so we need to go,” Donna responded and grabbed him by the elbow.

“Wait, we’re all gonna go?” he questioned and dug his heels into the ground. “What about the concert?”

“Forget the concert, man, my wife is in labor!”

“Why? She’s not my wife,” Kelso argued.

Hyde’s jaw clenched and his fists balled up, dying to hit Kelso. “You know what? I don’t have time for this. If you want to stay, fine, but I’m leaving your ass here and you can find a ride home.”

Kelso laughed. “You’re not going to do that.”

“You wanna bet?”

“But they’re in the middle of a song!” he whined.

“You wanna walk home?” Hyde threatened.

Kelso groaned before stomping his foot. “Fine!”

                                                        ∞∞∞

“Alright, Mrs. Hyde,” Dr. Lee said, pulling back the privacy curtain as Y/n laid in the hospital bed. “You’re dilated two centimeters. Now this is your first childbirth so you could be here a while. We’ll keep monitoring you.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Y/n said. “Can I have something to drink?”

“Just ice chips,” the doctor said with a sympathetic smile.

“Okay,” she sighed, disappointed.

“I’ll be back in a little while to check on you,” she said and exited the room.

“Well, this could take a while,” Kitty said and started fluffing Y/n’s pillow. “Did you want some ice chips?”

“That would be nice,” Y/n responded. “Thank you.”

“Of course. Red stay here with her while I go get her ice chips.”

“Where else am I gonna go?” Red asked with a shrug of his shoulders. Once Kitty left the room, it was silent.

“So,” Red said, breaking the silence and sighed awkwardly. “Do the contractions really hurt as much as they say?”

Y/n stared up at her father with a confused and bewildered look. “I don’t know. Have someone kick your boys multiple times and harder each time and then come back and tell me.”

Red couldn’t help but chuckle. After another minute of silence, Y/n spoke up.

“Dad?”

“Mhm?”

“Were you scared when Mom went into labor?”

A small smile graced his lips and he nodded. “Yeah, I was. But let me tell you the moment I held you and your brother in my arms, that fear melted away.”

“So, the minute I hold my children, my fears are going to melt away forever?”

“Oh, hell no,” Red chuckled, shaking his head. “The fear never goes away. Everyday a new fear will strike in you and you’re going to have to find some way to battle that one among the others. It’s a never ending cycle.”

“Oh my God…how do you sleep at night?”

“I just close my eyes,” he quips and rocks on his heels. “But your mother…not so much. She worries for you guys constantly.”

Y/n looked down at her hands. “I didn’t know that.”

“Of course you didn’t. The last thing she wants is to make you guys worry because all she wants is for you to worry about yourselves.”

“But that’s not how that works,” she argued. “We’re a family we do that for each other.”

“Not in a parent’s eyes,” he responded cooly and started heading out the door. “I’m going to call your idiot brother and see if he’s at the house.”

Y/n nodded at him as he walked out the door. As soon as the door clicked shut, another contraction shot through her, catching her breath in her throat. She breathed through the pain, and what felt like minutes but only seconds, it subsided as soon as Kitty walked back through the door.

“Here you go, dear,” Kitty said.

“Thanks, Mom,” Y/n replied breathlessly as her head fell back against the pillow.

                                                --Meanwhile--

“Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, COME ON!” Hyde shouted as he dodged traffic and weaved through traffic like a madman.

“Hyde, slow down!” Eric tried to hide his panic as he white knuckled the door handle and middle console. “I know we’re going to the hospital anyway, but let’s try to get there alive!”

“Have you guys ever noticed people in this town drive so damn SLOW?!” He honked his horn impatiently. “Move over, Grandma!”

“Hyde, please, I don’t want to die,” Fez whined from the back as he clutched the back door and Kelso’s arm.

“Shut up, Fez,” Hyde snapped as he desperately hit the gas more. “DAMN IT!” he shouted when he hit a red light.

“Hyde, man, it’s alright. You’re going to make it in time,” Eric said, trying to calm him down.

“No, Forman, it’s not going to be alright if I’m not there!” he raised his voice and punched the gas as soon as the light turned green.

“Don’t worry, you’re going to make it,” Donna said.

“No, you guys don’t get it,” Hyde replied, forcing himself to stay calm. “My dad wasn’t there when I was born and I’ll be damned if I do the same to my kids.”

“You’re not your dad, man…” Kelso said quietly.

“You’re right I’m not,” Hyde responded, staring intently at the road. “I’m going to be better.”

“And you are, but you need to—RED LIGHT!” Eric shouted as Hyde sped through.

“Relax, it’s not like we hit anybody,” Hyde said, hard gaze on the road.

“Um, Hyde?” Fez piped up, looking out the back window nervously.

“You’re going to kill us!” Eric screeched.

“No, I’m not!”

“Hyde?” Fez said again, this time a little louder.

“It’s going to be no use if we don’t make it alive!” Eric shouted.

“Will you lay off?!” Hyde shouted back, white knuckling the steering wheel. “We’re going to be fine.”

“HYDE!” Fez shouted sharply.

“What?!” Hyde snapped.

“Um…” he responded by pointing out the back window.

Hyde followed his line of sight and saw blue and red flashing behind them. “Crap.”

                                                --Time Skip—

Y/n was doing deep breathing exercises as another contraction waved through her. At this point, sweat had formed on her hairline while her hair had been pulled back into a messy ponytail by Kitty.  

The pain radiated through her back down to her legs as she felt like daggers were racing through her bloodstream.

“Just keep breathing, honey, you’re doing great!” Kitty encouraged as Y/n struggled to keep breathing. She held her daughter’s hand as Y/n squeezed it through the pain.

“It...hurts…!” she whined as she breathed through the pain.

“I know, honey, but it’s going to be so worth it when you get to hold your babies for the first time,” Kitty cooed.

Finally, the contraction ended and Y/n laid her head back in exhaustion, panting. “Has anyone heard from Steven?”

“When I called the house, your little loud friend answered and said she had spoken to him and he was on the way,” Red answered and checked his watch. “But then again, that was almost two and half hours ago.”

“The concert was only forty-five minutes away,” Y/n pointed out. “An hour and a half at most with traffic.” She was silent for a moment, fighting back tears. “I knew he cared more about the stupid concert than me.”

“Oh, honey, you know that’s not true,” Kitty said, rubbing her daughter’s covered leg in comfort.

“No, it is, otherwise he would be here!” she wailed, tears running down her face. “I’m about to push two babies out of me and he’s not here! I’ve never been in so much pain in my entire life and I just want my husband!”

“I know, sweetie, I know, but he’ll be here,” Kitty reassured and walked over to her husband. “Can I talk to you outside?”

“About what?” he asked.

“Just get outside,” she responded and pushed him out. After she shut the door, she turned back to him. “You need to find him.”

“Why? I’m sure he’s on the way,” Red said casually and walked over to the nearest coffee station.

“The last time a big event happened, Steven almost didn’t make it!” she said harshly. “He was in jail, Red, jail!”

“What do you want me to do about it?”

“Go back to the house and find him!”

“Kitty, if he’s not here, he’s not going to be at the house,” he pointed out, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“What if he stopped by the house?”

“Now, why would he do that?”

“I don’t know, why did the boy go to a concert when he knows his wife’s about to pop? We’ll never know why the kids do what they do, but what I know for sure is that something is wrong!”

“Oh, Kitty, come on!” Red whined. “I’m sure Steven is fine. He’s probably stuck in traffic or something.”

                                       --Scene Transition—

“Officer, I’m telling you, I’m not drunk!” Hyde yelled.

The scene in front of him would’ve been quite comedic if he hadn’t been the one in the position. He was leaned forward on the hood with his hands splayed out and legs spread as he was being searched.

“With the way you were driving, I beg to differ,” the officer replied as he carefully searched Hyde.

“The breathalyzer said I wasn’t!” he argued. “Why are you still searching me? I need to get to the hospital! My wife is in labor!”

“Yeah, I haven’t heard that one before,” the cop scoffed as he stood.

“Man, I’m serious! If you follow me, I’ll show you I’m telling the truth!”

“I’m not falling for that one again.”

“What? No, man, I’m serious!”

“You know everything you say can and will be held against you in the court of law,” the officer said.

“Okay, well then get this on record: I. NEED. TO. GET. TO. MY. WIFE. She is in labor and I really need to be there!”

“Shut up or else I will arrest you.”

Steven sighed, frustrated. “For God’s sake.”

While this was happening, the rest of the crew sat silently and rigid in the car. They felt with one wrong move, they would be arrested.

“Do you think he’s going to be let go?” Fez asked.

“If he shuts up and lets the man do his job, the maybe,” Kelso said.

“Hey, wait, you used to be a cop,” Eric pointed out. “Can’t you do something?”

“I doubt it,” Kelso responded, not taking his eyes off the cop. “As long as Hyde shuts up, he should be fine.”

“I hope you’re right. It would be awful if he missed the birth of his children like how he almost his own wedding,” Donna said, staring at Hyde as he stood still as a statue.

“Yeah, that would be,” Kelso mumbled.

Meanwhile outside, Hyde was ready to jump out of skin as he waited for the cop to finish up the report. The cop purposely was taking his time which made Hyde want to twist his neck even more.

“Can I go now?” he asked.

“I need to still check the car.”

“You checked it twice!”

“Once more never killed anybody.”

“Come on!” Hyde shouted as he watched the cop reach into the glove compartment to grab some gloves. “I’ve done everything you asked and you’re still going to hold me here? What more do you want?”

“I just love watching people like you squirm,” the cop said smugly as he snapped on the latex gloves.

“People like me? Man, I’m telling the truth!” Hyde shouted. “I’m not drunk and I’m not high! There’s nothing in my car! I don’t know what the hell you’re looking for, but you’re not going to find it!”

The cop smirked. “We’ll see about that.”

A car rumbled by across the street before it stopped and parked. Steven eyed the cop as he watched him kick his friends out and search the car again.

“Steven?!”

Hyde’s head snapped to the sound of his name and watched as Red crossed the street towards him.

“Red?” Hyde called out. “What’re you doing here?”

“What am I doing here? What are you doing here?!” Red asked, now feeling frustrated. “Do you know Kitty made me leave the hospital to drive back home to find you, only to find out that you’ve been pulled over the side of the road?!” He stood directly in front of Steven as he also watched the cop search the car. “Why were you pulled over this time?”

“Speeding.”

“And he’s searching the car because...?”

“He’s sure I’m under the influence of drugs or alcohol.”

Red pinched his eyebrows together and looked at Steven. “Were you breathalyzed?”

“Yes.”

“And searched?”

“Three times.”

“You don’t got that dope on you, do you?”

Steven rubbed his forehead, trying to control his irritation. “No.”

“Then why are you still here?!”

“That’s a good question. Ask the man in blue.”

Without hesitation, Red darted towards the police officer. “Hey, buddy! What the hell are you doing?!”

“Sir, I’m going to need you to back up while I conduct my search—”

“To hell with your damn search!” Red yelled. “You found nothing, now let him go! His wife, my daughter, is at the hospital about to give birth!”

“Oh, now he’s got you covering him?” the cops asked smugly. “I’m not buying it and this can be held against you—”

“Do I need to call Chief Calvin?” Red interrupted with fire in his eyes. “Do I need to tell him that you are looking to book my son-in-law?”

“How do you know—?”

“I’ve got

“You can if you want,” the cop said. “I’m just doing my job.”

“No, you’re not. You’re being a prick who is on a power trip. I’ll tell you what, you give him the speeding ticket and I won’t report your ass to the chief for trying to find false evidence.”

An annoyed, angry look crossed over the officer’s face before he snapped off his gloves. “Fine.”

“Thank you, officer,” Red said sickly sweet.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he mumbled as he walked back to the cop car.

Once the officer was out of earshot, Hyde turned to Red. “You really know that Chief like that?”

“Please,” he scoffed. “I had you and my son to deal with. You didn’t think I wasn’t going to get to be on a first name basis with the P.D?”

                                             --Meanwhile—

“WHERE. IS. HE?!” Y/n screamed through contractions.

“I don’t know, sweetie. Your dad is out looking for him,” Kitty responded, wiping away sweat off her daughter’s forehead.

This caused Y/n to scream out more in frustration than in pain when another contraction hit. “SON OF A BITCH!”

A knock on the door barley made their attention when Dr. Lee popped in. “How are we doing?”

“I need drugs!” Y/n screamed.

“Let me see how dilated you are,” Dr. Lee responded and popped on some gloves. After she felt around, she came up from between Y/n’s legs and sighed contently. “4 centimeters—looks like you’re dilated enough.”

“Oh, thank God,” Y/n sighed and leaned her head back.

“You know, you do qualify for this new drug we have. It’s called an epidural anesthesia. It’s going to numb you from the waist down and you won’t be able to feel anything.”

“Do it.”

“You don’t want to hear the possible side--"

"Damn it, woman, do it!" Y/n cried out in discomfort. “It feels like these kids are going to rip me in half!”

Dr. Lee chuckled before nodding. “I’ll be right back with the anesthesiologist.”

“Wow, fancy,” Kitty said, impressed. “When I gave birth to all three of you, I didn’t get that special treatment.”

“Times have changed, Mom,” Y/n responded dully.

“Excuse me, miss grumpy pants,” Kitty sassed as she situated herself in the chair next to the bed.

“Sorry,” Y/n mumbled and stared at the ceiling in silence.

“He’ll make it,” Kitty said after a minute.

“I appreciate the sentiment, but I don’t know right now. He was arrested and almost didn’t make it to our wedding, so I’m not sure if he’ll make it here on time to witness the birth of his children.”

“Oh, Dear, that’s just the hormones talking. I know Steven is just anxious to be here.”

                                          --Meanwhile—

“For the love of GOD, people, move your asses!” Hyde yelled at the traffic ahead of him. “Why is it even this crowded? Where are all these people coming from?!”

“Um, probably from the concert,” Donna piped up.

“The whole town went to the concert?!”

“I mean, we’re not the only ones who listen to them, but whatever,” Eric mumbled.

Hyde ignored them as another growl bubbled up from his throat as traffic began to slow down again. “Friggin’ slow asses, move!” He honked his horn and swerved in the other lane to pass someone.

“That was a student driver,” Eric said.

“Yeah, and I felt the same way when I passed that old lady earlier—nothing,” Hyde retorted as he got off the highway. “Doesn’t matter anyway, we’re almost there.”

“Pretty sure at this rate we’ll be there in five minutes instead of twenty,” Fez said nervously, gripping the door handle with white knuckles.

“Yeah, I think I felt safer when we were pulled over,” Kelso said and quickly averted Hyde’s icy glare through the rearview mirror. “I’ll shut up now.”

“Good plan,” Hyde responded. “Now, hang onto your asses. This is going to be a fast ride.”

                                           --At the hospital—

“Hey, Mom, look,” Y/n said, calm and happy and pointed at the machine that was monitoring her contractions. “I’m having a contraction. Who knew?”

“Are you feeling better now that you got the epidural?” Kitty asked, relieved to see her daughter out of pain.

Y/n giggled. “It’s almost like—childbirth, who? Pushing out two babies, say what?”

Kitty smiled. “Glad to hear it, dear.”

“Alright, Mrs. Hyde, after checking your dilation, it looks like you’re now at eight centimeters,” Dr. Lee informed.

“Whoa, man, I’m so numb I didn’t even feel you down there,” Y/n chuckled.

“Y/n, honey, did you hear the doctor?” Kitty asked, grabbing her daughter’s hand. “You’re eight centimeters. There’s only two centimeters left until you need to start pushing.”

Y/n’s eyes bugged out at the sudden realization. “What?! But-but Steven isn’t here yet!”

“Unfortunately, that doesn’t matter to babies coming out of a womb,” Kitty explained gently.

“No, no, no they have to stay in there until he’s here!” Y/n panicked. “Damn it, I knew he shouldn’t have gone!”

 Dr. Lee took this as her cue to leave. “I’ll be back later to check on you.”

After Dr. Lee left, Y/n turned to Kitty with tears in her eyes. “Mom, I can’t do this alone.”

“Oh, honey, you’re not going to be alone. I’ll be here.”

“You promise?”

Kitty smoothed down her daughter’s sweaty, matted hair. “Of course. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” She wrapped her arms around her mother as she felt an ounce of comfort. When she pulled away, she looked her in the eyes. “Just…don’t look at me. You know, down there.”

“Honey, I’m a nurse. I see this on a daily basis!” Kitty laughed. “And not to mention you, too, came out of me!”

“Ugh, God, MOM!”

                                                  Now…

“Finally! Land!” Eric bellowed as he stumbled out of the now parked car with wobbly legs. “Thank you, God, we’re alive!” He clutched his chest, breathing heavily, and looked up at the sky. “God, I know you and I don’t talk a lot, but thank you for not killing us.”

“Forman, get off the ground,” Hyde ordered. “You’re embarrassing me.”

“I’m just…so happy,” Eric whined, but kept his hand on his chest.

“Come on, hurry!” Red barked. “Those babies aren’t going to wait much longer for them to be born!”

“You’re right,” Hyde said and clapped a hand onto Red’s shoulder. “I’m gonna go have my babies!”

He heard the cheers coming from his friends behind him as he ran into the hospital, heart pounding from the adrenaline.

Eric turned to Donna after they watched their friend disappear into the hospital. “Hey, Donna?”

“Yeah, Eric?”

“Which arm hurts when you’re having a heart attack?”

“Your left one.”

“Oh,” he sighed and cracked a nervous smile. “It’s a good thing we’re at a hospital, huh?”

                                  --Five minutes later—

“Alright, Mrs. Hyde, looks like you’re at ten centimeters,” Dr. Lee said., situating herself between Y/n's legs that were up in the stirrups. “It’s time to start pushing. Are you feeling any pain?”

Y/n shook her head nervously. “Just a lot of pressure.”

“Good. Are you ready?”

Y/n grabbed her mother’s hand as Kitty helped her sit up. “You got this, honey.”

“And…push!” the doctor said, but was quickly interrupted as the door swung open, startling her.

“I’m here! I’m so sorry, but I’m here!” Steven said, out of breath.

“Steven, you’re here!” Y/n said, relief flooding over her, which soon was quickly replaced with anger. “Where the HELL have you been?!”

“I’m so sorry, Doll,” he said and kissed her forehead. “It’s a long story, but traffic was horrible and then I got pulled over until Red found me—”

“What?!” Y/n shouted.

“Mr. Hyde, I’m so glad that you’re able to join us, but Mrs. Hyde is going to have to start pushing now,” said Dr. Lee.

“Oh, my God,” Hyde said nervously and slipped his hand into his wife’s. “You got this, baby.”

“Since you’re here, I’ll let myself out,” Kitty said.

“Wait, no, Mom,” Y/n called out, stopping her. “Y-you don’t have to go. You can stay here if you want.”

Kitty gave her a gentle smile and kissed her cheek. “Sweet girl. It’s okay, you don’t need me.”

“I’ll always need you,” her voice cracked and eyes filled with tears. “Mommy, I’m scared.”

“You’ll be just fine. In a moment like this, you need your husband, not your mother, who I am so glad is finally here. I’ll be right outside, okay?”

Y/n nodded and wiped at her eyes. “Okay.”

“Okay. Besides, I need to talk to your father and see what happened with Steven getting pulled over.” She blew a kiss to her daughter and son-in-law as she walked out the room.

“Alright, Mrs. Hyde, I need you to push for me like you’re using the toilet. Can you do that for me?”

Y/n sat herself up while still gripping onto Steven’s hand and pushed as hard as she could.

“Good job! I’m seeing a head!” the doctor announced.

“Come on, baby, you got this!” Hyde encouraged.

“Okay, now stop,” Dr. Lee ordered. “Breathe, take a ten second break. We’re going to do this slowly. We don’t want any tears.”

Y/n nodded once again and leaned back. She looked up to her husband who was staring down on her lovingly. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” he responded. “I’m sorry I’m late.”

She caressed his face. “You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

“Let’s start pushing again,” Dr. Lee said and placed her hands on Elena’s knees. “And…go!”

Elena sat up with Hyde’s help and started pushing again. Grunting, she felt pressure building up even more as if she really was using the toilet. “Oh, my God!”

“You’re doing it! Good girl!” the doctor encouraged.

“Breathe, baby doll, breathe,” Hyde said gently as he moved hair out of her face.

She let out long breaths to ease the pressure, but it wasn’t helping much.

“Oh, my God, my ass is going to explode!” she screamed.

“No, it’s not, you’re doing so well!” Hyde encouraged.

“Dad, I’m going to need you to hold her leg up for me,” instructed the doctor.

Without a word, Hyde reached down and placed a gentle under her knee, lifting it upwards.

“Much better,” said Dr. Lee. “You’re doing well, Y/n! Just keep pushing!”

Y/n squeezed Hyde’s hand so hard he swore she was going to cut off his fingers, but he didn’t care and in fact, almost completely forgot about it when he heard the doctor yell, “Baby number one’s head is out! Now, Y/n, I’m going to need you to give me one big push for the shoulders, okay?”

Y/n nodded, breathing heavily and leaned against her husband.

“You got this,” Hyde said in her ear as he supported her back.

She grunted and groaned as she pushed as hard as she could.

“Push, baby, push!” Hyde said, almost excitedly.

“Almost there!” Dr. Lee announced.

Y/n took in a deep breath before doing the biggest push she could muster.

“Shoulders are out!” said the doctor before she gently pulled the baby out.

                           And then, there was crying.

“Congratulations, it’s a boy!” announced the doctor.

“Oh, my God!” Y/n cried as she saw her son for the first time.

“It’s a boy,” Hyde said breathlessly. It took everything in him not to allow any tears surface.

“We have a boy, Steven,” Y/n wept as she watched the nurse take him from the doctor. “Where’d he go?”

“They’re just taking him to get him cleaned up,” Steven said, his eyes watery.

“He’s so tiny,” she whispered and looked up at Steven.

“He’s perfect,” he responded and kissed her gently.

“Y/n, it looks like baby number two is ready to come out,” Dr. Lee said.

“Ugh, I already had a baby. Leave me alone,” Y/n groaned. “Can’t I take a break?”

“Sorry, not with this little one. They’re coming sooner than you think!” answered the doctor and sat between her legs again. “Ready?”

“Not really…”

“Good, because they’re coming!”

Y/n didn’t get a chance to even breathe before she felt a tremendous amount of pressure passing through her. She gasped before grabbing onto Hyde’s neck and digging her nails into his flesh.

“Ow, ow, ow, Y/n, ow!”

“So-sorry,” she stuttered, breathless and let go.

“Here, grab my hand instead,” he said, offering his hand.

She grabbed his hand again and squeezed.

“Alright, Mr. Hyde, just like last time, go ahead and grab Mom’s leg and hold it up for me,” Dr. Lee instructed again.

He repeated the motion from before and gently lifted her leg up.

“Perfect,” Dr. Lee said, encouragingly. “Annnnd push!”

One more deep breathe and Y/n pushed harder than she had pushed before.

“Wait, wait, wait, stop pushing,” the doctor said suddenly.

“What, why?!” Y/n asked, panting.

Hyde step forward to take a look. “Oh, God! What the hell is that?!”

“Don’t say that! What is what?!” Y/n screeched.

“It’s the baby’s feet. They’re breeched,” the doctor said.  

“Oh, my God. Are they going to be okay?!” Y/n asked, panicking.

“They’re going to be fine. But I’m going to need you to push even harder now.”

“No, I can’t! I can’t do this anymore.”

“Yes, you can,” Hyde said. “You’re stronger than you know. You always have been. You can do this, Y/n”

“No, no I can’t!” She turned back to the doctor. “Can’t you just reach up there and pull the baby out?!”

“Not unless you want a C-section, you’re going to need to do this,” said Dr. Lee.

Y/n leaned back, crying. “I can’t—I don’t have it in me!”

“Hey, hey, look at me,” Steven said, gently. She looked at her husband, teary eyed. “Just think—this baby will be out and then it’ll be over. You just gotta get through this, okay? You can bring our son or daughter and this will be over. Okay? I love you so much, you can do this.”

“I love you, too,” she whimpered and sat up.

“Push like you haven’t pooped in a week,” Dr. Lee instructed gently.

“It feels like I haven’t!” Y/n screamed as she felt the pressure rise.

“There we go!” the doctor said excitedly. “Both feet are out! Here come the legs!”

“You’re doing amazing, doll, keep going!” Hyde encouraged.

Y/n took another breath before pushing the hardest she could. She started to feel some relief from the pressure the more she pushed.

“Here she comes!” Dr. Lee announced.

Hyde’s gaze snapped to the doctor. “It’s a girl?!”

Dr. Lee looked back at him with a soft gaze and a smile. "Yeah, it's a girl."

“Oh, my God,” Hyde said, this time his voice cracking from emotion. “Baby, we have a daughter."

"One of each," Y/n choked back a sob.

"Give me one last big push!” said the doctor.

With a final push, the pressure finally alleviated and soon, the sound of a crying baby filled the room.

“Here she is!” the doctor held up the baby as she continued to cry.

“She’s beautiful,” Y/n said in awe, feeling emotional. She wept as she watched her daughter being taken away for cleanup.

“Just like her mom,” Hyde said teary eyed and looked at his wife. “You did great, Doll. I’m so proud of you.”

The adrenaline that was once pumping through Y/n’s veins was now fading and she could now start to feel the exhaustion take over. “I couldn’t have done this without you.” She reached a hand up and gently wiped a stray tear.

He leaned down and gave her a gentle, passionate kiss.

“Good job, Mom and Dad,” Dr. Lee said with a smile. “Mrs. Hyde, we’re just going to stitch you up—”

“Steven…” Y/n whimpered, her eyelids getting heavier. “’M tired. S’ tired.”

“Uh, doc? Is she supposed to be feeling this tired? She can’t keep her eyes opened—”

The heart rate monitors suddenly start screaming.

“Someone get the babies out of here!” Dr. Lee ordered. “Mr. Hyde, I’m going to need you to step out the room.”

“What’s going on?!” Hyde demanded and looked down to Y/n who was barley conscious.

“She’s hemorrhaging and it’s causing her blood pressure to drop. She’s going into shock.”

“What?!” Steven shouted as he started to be pushed out. “Wait! Wait! Y/n!”

Everything happened so fast, the last thing Hyde saw was his wife being surrounded by nurses and doctors as he was shoved out the room, and the door slammed in his face.

Taglist: @not-shy-nanya @taysirene @maddieschampagneproblems @mdittyz123 @undead-sierra @random-thoughts-004 @lieswithoutfairytales @chloem4a1 @srhxpc @zhonglibxitch @leothesquishy

[the5thcellar]

Hi, I recently stumbled upon your blog and I am so glad I did! While I’m very sorry for all the troll hate you’ve received, I like the sassy way you’re handling them. I’m trying to find the humor in why so many people are pressed and feel like they need to defend something that you haven’t even denied is real. And just because you have a different opinion, they cannot handle it. Reading your responses, and reading the responses of other people with whom I share similar sentiments, has made me laugh and feel better over the last week. I’ve been desperately trying to find other posts/people that have similar vibes because this whole… situation-ship has been a bit much. I also appreciate your reminder that “no matter how good a man seems, trying to justify anything they do is still a sure path to disappointment!” 

I was wondering if you had any thoughts about Luke’s social media lately? I’ve read some points about how messy his social media presence has been handled (or mishandled) over the past year+ and how it did not help with the way everything played out. Also, I feel like he’s either turned on notifs for Nic because he’s been very diligent about liking all her posts, or maybe, he’s finally gotten a team to handle it. I just feel like everyone is in crisis comms mode, trying to wrangle back control. Just genuinely curious because it’s what I’ve been pondering over for the last day or two. Thank you in advance for your time if you answer my ask!

I'm so sorry this took me awhile - I started replying it in the morning on the way to work but decided I needed to gather my thoughts more.

To the first part: I completely empathise with how the entire situation has just been so "much" - it really has. It seems so silly, but somehow, whether or not two people I DON'T KNOW are in love or not in love, are best friends or are not best friends - can affect so much of my mental and emotional wellbeing.

I know I'm being parasocial (it seems to be the internet buzzword of the moment). But let's be clear: almost EVERYONE online - everyone who has written in to my ask box, who has commented, who has liked - everyone on twitter and tiktok who has talked about this - they're all just as parasocial. Because we're all assuming and casting aspersions on people we do not personally know. No one online who engages in discourse has the moral or ethical high ground. We are ALL in the gutter together (that said - I believe the gutter has many levels 😂).

IN ANY CASE - I just want to assure you that what you're feeling is not some atypical affliction. It is normal to feel awful that something you believed in and something you felt happy about is untrue. It is normal to look for other people who feel the same because misery is always better with company. It is normal to feel disappointed even as you remind yourself that men have been useless since the dawn of time.

The best counter to all these sad, awful feelings is to remember that life is a cycle. That life is complex. And although I'm saying this for the millionth time - that life has many, many grey areas.

As a kid I thought Zanessa was everything. Then they broke up, and she got together with Austin whom I hated. For years I seethed at the very mention of them. And after almost a decade... they also broke up. And not even 2 years after that, she's married and with child.

For a long time I also thought Brangelina was everything - you can't imagine my devastation when they divorced and I found out Brad is a complete dirtbag. But at the same time that I felt this horrible upset - I'm sure TONS of other people were feeling vindicated because they were fans of Jen A.

There are just SO MANY other stories like that. I mean come on - JLo and Ben Affleck. On again, off again, finally made it to the altar ... and now they're headed for divorce.

Chris and Mariska - both married to other people for 27 bloody years (or maybe longer) - and still making it very clear they are each others soulmates - and NOT platonic ones btw.

Tony and Kerry - WHAT EVEN ARE THEY? Perhaps the only pair on the internet that has people rooting for cheating and affairs 😂

Lessons: don't let a long term boyfriend stop you from finding a husband. Don't let a husband stop you from finding your soulmate. Don't let your soulmate stop you from engaging in a late, great love affair.

All crazy, contradicting statements distilled from all the above real life stories.

It makes one thing very clear to me: I can believe what I want to believe about Luke and Nicola. Because no one fucking knows what is in the future. They could get together next month. Next year. When they're in their 70s. No one can tell me SHIT about what I believe - not when life is clearly full of incredible twists and turns.

So fuck it. Fuck the haters and the antis and the naysayers. I can ship them till the day I die and no one can tell me any different. Because how could they? They literally canNOT !

To the second part: this is an easy answer and there's no need to think too much into it. Luke's social media has simply undergone an extensive renovation by his agents and team in anticipation of him becoming a big star (whether or not that will actually happen remains to be seen). All highly personal, "non-aesthetic" posts of his have been archived - his posts are all related to work and his coworkers. He has many posts with Nicola because he / his team knows those get the most engagement - and the more engagement he gets, the better the IG algorithm works in his favour to push his OTHER, non-Nicola or Bridgerton related posts to people's feeds. I don't think anyone is in crisis comms mode tbh. Maybe Nicola panicked a bit after she posted that tiktok that everyone took wildly out of context. But beyond that I don't think the wider audience gives af who he's dating - it seems like his personal life is very big news only because we keep searching about it and talking about it and so it feels like EVERYONE is. But if you step outside the online bridgerton fandom bubble ..... no one cares. There is a HEFTY portion of netflix viewers who watch bridgerton without EVER going online to read about the actors.

Long story short I think Nicola and Luke will become even MORE conscious about what they post - but I don't believe there was a crisis in the true sense of the word. And although Luke's team clearly handles his socials he obviously has access to it as well. Btw - all celebs have someone who handles their socials I'm sure Nic does too, just that she's also on her own account a lot. I don't know if Luke has his notifs on for Nicola's posts but even if he does I don't believe his consistent likes mean anything much. I mean...he also diligently likes all of Antonia's posts 😂

Social media isn't much of an indicator of honesty to me ... as someone whose work heavily involves it, everything is curated to a disgusting degree.

What I put more stock in is what we can see - and what we can see of them when they DON'T think about being seen - which is to say, all the unconscious, natural moments between Nicola and Luke - the vibe around them both, and the easy way they breathe and exist together.

That's what makes me such a big believer in their bond.

[justkissmewip]

I read the intro post about this project and I was so curious, but before jumping in and reading the demo I decided to see the character post for A. And my excitement immediately died.

AI? Really?

I'm not opposed to the concept of AI alone, but right now it's just so deeply unethical. The ecological impact, the thousands and thousands of artists whose work was stolen and used to train those algorithms, sometimes leading to almost 1:1 copies of their creative work being produced and used for profit by someone else - those are all issues that are often discussed in creative spaces.

And even if you don't care about all that - how are your readers supposed to trust you? How are they supposed to trust that you're actually making what you're saying you're making instead of just feeding prompts to AI?

There are just so many ethical alternatives and some of them are even free. You could commission an artist. You could look through some archives for free use vintage illustrations of schools like the one you have in your header. You could use picrew for the character portraits to have that visualisation without reaching for AI. Some IF authors just find face claims among actors and celebrities.

It's just disappointing to see someone who's a part of this beautiful, vibrant, and creative group that is the IF writing community, use inventions that currently hurt artists all over the world.

Hmm, okay, this is a heavy one! Ha-ha, a post like this is definitely a good way to wake me up in the morning.

I want to apologize to artists on this forum (well, and all artists everywhere) for using AI art. I did it with no ill-will; I simply wanted a placeholder in the meantime so that readers could get an idea of what these characters look like. AI is a great tool for people who do not have the funds or access to other materials. But, this person makes some great points - there is a lot of uncertainty around AI, such as legality, and particularly the point about AI chatbots being trained using artists work without their permission. I really don't want to cause anyone harm, nor do I want to get into trouble honestly, so I'm going to stop using AI images from now on.

However, I do not appreciate the implication that using AI art is an automatic indication that I am using AI to generate my story and am no longer trustworthy. Writing interactive fiction is a lot of work, as I'm sure many of you know, and I take it very seriously. I want to produce the best product possible of course! So, rest assured that ChatGPT isn't currently churning out the next chapter of JKM. It wouldn't write Sawyer right anyways ;)

Art is not cheap, which makes a lot of sense, because artists deserve to be paid adequately for their work. So, I'm not going to look into art assets too much now until JKM is close to being finished, which is probably not any time soon if I'm being honest. I would rather wait and get some quality work that I think suits the characters then use anything else, especially since I personally imagine the characters in a more comic-book/anime style anyways. I apologize for that! But, the imagination is much better than any AI images I would have uploaded anyways.

To all artists, again, I am sorry! I appreciate and respect your hard work and efforts. I look forward to working with some of you as JKM progresses and I need to commission some art. Because trust me when I say I am not artistically inclined at all :).

To the person who wrote this, thank you for your great points. I can appreciate your passion about protecting artists. Hopefully you can give JKM another chance despite this setback.

Cheers,

Lucky

[aleksanderscult]

My unpopular opinion for today? The Darkling was terrible at manipulating people

And that mostly comes from the author's incompetence on the matter.

Back in 2016-2017 on Tumblr she was asked which SoC character finds difficult to write and she replied "Kaz. Because he's clever and cunning".

So for her, writing manipulative characters is difficult and actually explains the reason why the Darkling's "efforts" seemed comedic in S&B.

I still remember how posts from 2020-2021 expressed bafflement about where did the Darkling actually manipulated Alina in S&B.

His first, full conversation with her? He lied to her three times and tried to figure her out. What her views are, what does she know about him, has her judgement been clouded by other people's opinions of him, how she feels about her supposed destiny. Apparently she failed in each one of them and the Darkling decided to withhold information since he didn't find her trustworthy. It was too early and she was too immature.

I've written about this scene here but I MUST put this reblog here as well because it's ✨gold✨

So for anyone who believes he should tell her the truth from the very beginning uhh....have you ever been to a job with a hierarchy?

(You can also read a very good meta about their first conversation here from @theweeklydiscourse)

His additional conversations with her? They lasted only ten minutes (maximum) and he mostly tried to soothe her fears and assure her that since she'll have the Stag she won't have to worry about the strength of her power. So, me, the reader, am I supposed to think "That walk that he took with her and lasted for five minutes was so suspicious"?. Ahh...ok.

That first kiss? Boy wasn't it awkward.

It was like I watched two high school kids being kissed for the first time💀

I'm sorry but if that was manipulating then he didn't succeed at making the reader say "Now that seems shady" but wonder "What the fuck was that?". The same thing Alina wondered apparently.

If he wanted to manipulate Alina, why didn't he stay longer with her? Why didn't he spend more time with her? The guy was missing for days from the Little Palace doing his duties and even Alina said that she didn't see him much. So where was the manipulation?

To the first, awkward kiss where he lost control for the first time?

To their Winter fete make out where he almost lost his pants?

(Homeboy couldn't even control his own feelings apparently)

Leigh describes him as "manipulative" but we have no context.

So basically it's like "Source? Trust me bro".

We only have a couple of characters accuse him of manipulation but no scenes to base the argument.

His attempts, in comparison to other truly manipulating characters in fiction (like Varys, Tom Riddle, Petyr Baelish, Tyrion Lannister, the Joker), seem honestly pathetic.

When the author doesn't know how to write such things then her "manipulative" characters and their attempts seem cartoonish, cringe and childish. There's no real danger to make the reader feel like there's something wrong. His scenes with her in the Little Palace only included attempts from his part to calm down her worries and their kisses only made the reader say "Oh he fell for her!" (Which is kind of funny because this is exactly what happened).

The only instance where he was manipulative and good at it was at the orphanage scene where he lied about the Grisha children and his plans with them in order to draw Alina out.

Besides that? Nada.

And it's actually strange to me when people call him "so manipulating" and it makes me think "Have you truly not read other manipulative characters from other authors to compare?"

Because, personally, I have and the Darkling seems like an idiot in comparison.

And this is not me trying to water down the Darkling but say how Leigh Bardugo is so incompetent in writing manipulative characters and try to present him as a "master" of it.

Because he was not.

(P.S. the fact that Leigh once said "I don't want my bad guys to carry a label saying "I'm evil" because I think the real bad guys are much more tactful in their attempts" is actually laughable considering how she gave her bad guy a label when she called him "the Darkling", gave him black clothes and a fearful reputation from the very first chapter. That man really didn't stand a chance from the beginning lmao)

[v-anrouge]

This is a queued post and it includes talks about transphobia and mentions of self harm and eating disorders

Im here to talk and announce a break, first thing's first j relapsed, in literally like everything sh ed and didn't try to kill myself is because of a few people and the fact my pills ended. For a very long time in this blog u have not been feeling like human, it's like most of you don't even actually like and just come talk to me when im being funny and fun or when i post something rook related that you like, ive really been trying to get rid of that feeling but it keeps on coming back and it's unbearable to be in this blog at this point. this situation with Shiba only really confirmed it for me, I saw about like 4 mutuals referring to this as drama, and complaining about seeing it on dash and while obviously you have all the rights to be displeased with a constant show of negativity in your dash, i beg of you to try and think how i, a trans man, must feel seeing you refer to me and other mutuals calling out transphobia and have to read you refer to this as drama and not as a literal crime. I understand if you got annoyed by me talking about it constantly and to that i ask that you please block me, because i have been literally beaten, bullied, harassed and even doxxed by transphobes, I do not take anything that displays even a bit of prejudice against my trans siblings lightly, hence why i was so "histerical and obsessed" and was being so "stupid and acting like an idiot" as someone people would claim. I do not care what view you have of me i really don't, im used to this shit, ive been trans and alive in the most transphobic country for 20 years, it's no news, but it still hurts. And it hurts even more when I see someone say i was an idiot for blocking someone immediately and calling them out when they side with a transphobe, and it hurts even more when I see a person i thought liked me complain about "drama still going on" rest assured that i won't be "bitching" about it any longer

For soru, who cant possibly process why i have blocked you, your take on that situation and your friend have both brought me terrible flashbacks of my own past as a child dealing with transphobia, of being told people like me are sick and are the seeds of the devil and that we are animals or that there's something wrong with us, like your friend said, their apology is both not genuine and extremely poorly made as they still can't accept the fact that yes, they are transphobic, and you soru, can't imagine how it broke my soul to see your post saying you had given them a chance, but seeing the post you made after, in which you literally agree with your mother you should've stayed away from trans people, that's what broke me the most, and j couldn't even speak about it, because it's "too negative" or im "drama chasing" im sick of this, you can hate and insult me all you want soru rest assured you're not the only one you're not the first nor the last one, maybe this will come off as a surprise to the people that are sure im obsessed with drama and chasing people around but i genuinely did have a lot of respect for you, if the hours ive spent crying over this say anything at all, it's sad that this had to end this way, but not for me, I don't care, this isn't the first or the last time this happens to me, but to my mutuals who i am very sure many are angry that i have made this situation happen, perhaps i should've stayed quiet and keep being funny as people like me best, well it is too late, but i hope that you'll forgive me mutuals, for once again ruining something good.

I don't know how long this break will last or if ill ever even return to this account at all, but i sincerely thank the ones that did treat me like a human, as an equal, that actually saw the person behind v-anrouge. you can't possibly believe how much you mean to me

That's about it, do have a great day