#and i am not happy with much of my life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

physicsgoblin · 1 month

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I don't think I really am telling the truth when I say "Thy Will be done." Because I feel sort of dead inside half the time and I'm so so tired and if this is God's will I honestly don't want it

#obviously i can't hide what's in my heart from Him #but i also can't change how i feel #and i am not happy with much of my life #i am wondering if i will ever be at rest #or if this is it #and if it is i just don't want it #if it's supposed to make me holier i don't think it's working #and i know it is evil to say #but sometimes i think i would rather be happy than holy #but i am not getting what will make me happy anyway #i am also not getting holier either though #i am astonished at some people's faith #their Encounters #because for the most part i am crawling in the dark #i want very much for God to be real #but i do not have this certainty that some people seem to do #at least not much of the time #if God is real and He is who He claims to be then i cannot hide #and i am so tired #i am so tired

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amelia-yap · 2 months

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theyre so stupid help

#ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #rwby #my art #i love them very much really #source of happiness and joy in life #should i be doing my homework? yes. am i? no.

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hinamie · 3 months

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theyre soft your honour

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #okkotsu yuuta #inumaki toge #inuokko #inumaki #yuuta #fanart #jjk fanart #timelapse #long time no canon fits !!!#still having the time of my life playing with these brushes #i was just gna do a regular draws to slap on the ask i just got but i decided 2 record it last minute fgdgd #didnt know if an mp4 file would cooperate if i tried to put it under an ask so i played it safe #but know this is fr u anon <3 #i ..... cannot believe i am continuing my streak from last night of Forgetting very key and very obvious design elements #last night it was yuuij's sukuna scars.... today it is inumaki's tattoos.......#smh im Slipping fr #breaking news tumblr user hinamie fake jjk fan And fake fanartist :C #its ok tho ! crisis averted!! me forgetting them may be caught in 4k but i Did catch myself before posting th video #that would have been tragic i would have been chased out of this fandom with pitchforks. i wld have been pelted with rocks #anyway i like this piece a lot i like them i like the black/white/blue #VERY happy i got yuuta's hair right without too much hassel #turns out i know how to draw and references r a godsend <3 #oh also !!! @ the person who asked about my colouring process this is what i was talking abt re: painting with an underpaint layer #helps everything look cohesive :3

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months

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With the end of season two comes a second redraw!

[Nov 2022] [June 2023] [June 2024]

#better drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #I was really looking forwards to this redraw - though the jump in skill isn't as dramatic as the last one I still am proud of my progress!#It's really incredible to look back on this last year and how much has happened since then.#Both in my personal life and this blog.#I started the second season while I was going through some pretty rough times and it truly kept my sanity afloat.#I challenged myself a lot more this year! And while it didn't always turn out the way I hoped-#-being messy and earnestly trying to do something different has been my favourite part of art.#There will always be a lot of room to grow - I don't think art and creativity has a ceiling.#I went from doubting that I was even an artist to joining a gamedev team as the lead artist! That's character growth!#Thank you all once again for joining me on this journey B*)#Thank you for all the messages and support you have sent my way these last 18 months.#I'm so happy to have been given the chance to create something for this community. You've given me so much and I am so grateful.#I'll take a little break to post some personal project stuff this week and resume season three after that!#Onwards to another season of silly (and sometimes serious) comics!

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jkvjimin · 29 days

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"my happiness started when I met rapmon hyung" for @jung-koook ♡

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heymacy · 6 months

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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies #(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless #shamelessnet #shamelessedit #ian gallagher #cameron monaghan #*macygifs #bipolar disorder #hello pals how are we doin #i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags #and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation #that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day #world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder #which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life #while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life #and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines #over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful #i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended #hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles #world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder #and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all #it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen #so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it #i promise #anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder #go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives

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geometric-bs · 4 months

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"Doing your best" (with chronic illness)

My doctor (bless him) straight up went "don't" when I said "I'll do my best"

Because what I think "my best" is, is completely draining myself for this One Thing and going above and beyond

I guess this goes for people w/o chronic illness as well, but "your best" shouldn't mean you end up hurting yourself in the long run. "Your best" is as much as you are willing to devote to something proportional to how much you care about it within the confines of what is healthy for you AND considering all the other stuff you have to do

Please just- holy heck we're already struggling so much please don't devote your precious energy to something that doesn't deserve it

don't do your best, do whats best for you

#see how much you care and put it on a 1-10 scale and devote that energy to it #if everything is at a 10 throw a logarithmic conversion on that scale to better see the difference between the datapoints #yes i am a stem girlie #please be kind to yourself #yes I am very happy with my doctor thank you for asking #chronic illness #fibromyalgia #chronic fatigue #chronic pain #spoonie #spoonie life #chronically ill #chronically fatigued #chronically disabled

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cordiallyfuturedwight · 1 year

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i really wanna, wanna, wanna just dance ♡

for @senor-hoberto 🌷| cr. 0613data

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galactaknightyaoi · 18 days

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🏳️‍⚧️ DOUBLE HEADCANON ATTACK!!! 🏳️‍⚧️

Family HCs are already fun on their own but with transness added on they're even better. It's actual comedy gold. Also I've always wanted to draw some kind of Meta Knight VS Galacta Knight type thing, but I can't take anything seriously like that. So you get This.

What This is, is a way too high effort shitpost. It took a combined 2 and a half? Days, though most of it was just sketching. I'm proud of it! Anything for the bit.

Textless version + unfinished doodle under the cut

#kirby #kirby series #galacta knight #does he know? (he does not know)#meta knight #trans meta knight #trans mask even. is anyone there. whatever.#anyway. the extra doodle was originally gonna be part of the main drawing #specifically the bottom one. i think you can really tell by how much effort i put into it #But in the end it wasn't looking like i pictured it #i was also struggling trying to draw GK's lance in a way that didn't completely annoy me #so i gave up #i also gave up coloring it. sorry #i love colored lineart!#also i swear on my life i intended to shade this #i tried. thought about how it was almost 12 am. and decided against it #i do like how it looks unshaded though #i'm not very good at shading/lighting yet so it would've probably looked muddy #thank god for filters #i hope you guys like mk's wings those were also a source of eternal torment #i'm so happy with how they look though #also. obligatory baby orb. squish him and bake him into bread okay?#my art

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reineydraws · 1 year

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so there's this post that talks about how people call jason's curved knife a kris but it's not a kris 'cuz why would he have a southeast asian knife? and op's tags say if you're gonna give him an 'exotic' weapon at least make him malay or something. a later reblog adds a filipino kris as an example, and then i was like, 'omg, jason in a barong tho.' SO i tried designing a bat-barong inspired by his hood logo, for a filipino jason haha. and now here we are! 😊✨️🇵🇭

#jason todd #red hood #batfamily #batfamily fanart #dc #dc fanart #i love barongs SO MUCH i used to think they were just a boy thing but my mom and i found a barong dress for me to wear for graduation ✨️✨️#i was so happy lol #i am posting a lot of lil doodles rn cuz i finished some big involved pieces for the zines im in and this is all the energy i have left rn #anyways i made him white-passing bc comics but like.#it should track that he looks a lil asian too cuz he thinks lady shiva might be his mom right??? so he could feasibly be half... 🤷🏻‍♀️#i like thinking he's a lil filipino but only cuz im all the way filipino (except for all the ways im not hashtag immigrant kid life)#I DIGRESS #here's another extremely niche jason todd post from yours truly 😌✌️✨️#sorry if the knife isnt to scale it's only occuring to me now that i just *assumed* it'd be longer than a man's forearm oops #ugh barongs are so pretty. idve tried designing more if i had the patience to do the detail work rn 🥲 mb in the future who knows #he's wearing a sando underneath!!!!

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owlyjules · 2 years

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Wisptober Day 12 : Howl

"Howling that sounds like a chill down your spine, white like ghosts, he and his wolves were nightmares for lost hunters."

Today was "Thaw" but I got mixed up.;u;

And I suddenly realised that it remind me of Princess Mononoke....

#I mean not a bad thing to ref!#I didnt paint much this year because LIFE #and you can tell I am struggling with colour palettes this year #still happy with it #;u;#wolf #wolves #white wolf #carnyx #illustration #wisptober #wisptober 2022 #my art #nature

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ministarfruit · 6 months

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"my oshis graduated" outfit swap

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baalzebufo · 2 months

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some additional doodles and a Lot of Headcanons... sorry if im spamming these a little bit. ive got so many thoughts in my head, lmao

theres my older pacifica- after weirdmageddon, her and gideon become friends. theyre both sort of ostracized from the town as a whole bc of their past attitudes/actions so they cling together and become buds. its nice having someone else who 'gets' it.

pacifica moved out as soon as she could to get away from her folks and has a job at a local mall. gideon enables her to enjoy at least SOME of her old luxuries by taking her shopping and to get their nails done together and stuff. also his prison buddies help ''kindly persuade'' her parents not to break her enforced no-contact rule from time to time. i know the two have the bitchiest gossip in the entire town together. sometimes when its hard to be 'nice' they know they can at least vent to the other and they wont get judged for it, yknow?

also some backstory doodles! he was a Normal Kid, Once. or close enough to it. gideon was a sickly child and was sheltered and homeschooled for most of his life. the gleefuls moved from texas to oregon when he was about seven (yes i know this breaks canon a little. its fine shh.) and he found journal 2 shortly after. things went downhill from there

other notes. he's always kept his hair long, but used to either let it down or tie it into a long braid. he very briefly attended a public school and he didnt fare very well there (fat kid + albino + 'girly' + general weird interests is basically painting a massive target on your back) he used to stay up and watch late night televangelists when he couldnt sleep in hospital and copped his aesthetic from there

sorry this post is so long i have a lot of thoughts about him </3

#alloyart #gravity falls #gideon gleeful #pacifica northwest #i dont think pacificas 'aesthetic' changes much apart from she allows herself to be more casual now bc she has less 'standards' to uphold #shes still learning what she actually ENJOYS. because shes had her whole life dictated by her parents up until now. its slow going #its funny how in my 'carrying on from canon' au/timeline basically everyone tries to become a nicer or better person #pacificas parents are not included in this tho. fuck em lol. she does NOT have contact with them if she does not absolutely HAVE to.#and having a pal who knows a lot of criminals is actually comforting. gids puts the wall of muscle between her and her parents #they got that upper-middle class solidarity goin on #anyway. sorry this is a fuckin wall of text. like i said ive got SO many headcanons ive not posted publicly #Talk To Me About Gideon Charles Gleeful [i am gripping my desk very tightly]#(in all seriousness if you ever want to hear more uh. idk. send me an ask or something. ask me about headcanons. i'll be happy)

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m3ntal-hiatus · 7 months

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gojo has one printed photo of geto, just one.

not two, because where’s the incentive to take care of them both? if the other is tarnished, he has a backup. there’s nothing that could make him cherish two or three, and love them equally.

no, he has one.

sure, he could have more. it wouldn’t be the same.

just. one.

sometimes it’s framed, sitting pretty on his desk or bedside table. sometimes it’s tucked carefully into his wallet.

sometimes, arguably most of the time, it’s in his hands.

it’s an ugly photo of him, really. he wasn’t ready for it and didn’t even know there was a camera pointed at him. candid — his head thrown back in a genuine hearty laugh, teeth and all.

gojo had managed to bug (beg) shoko enough to let him rifle through her old flip phone since he, of course, hadn’t bothered to take any photos of his own other than the odd selfie or two. he eventually scrolled far enough in shoko’s gallery that he found it, the date reading back to their earliest days at Jujutsu Tech. he almost hated himself for smiling with the photo.

he never gave shoko her phone back and she hadn’t asked for it. he had that photo printed, but only once.

he had to prove to himself that he could keep one good thing in his life.