#or if this is it

[physicsgoblin]

I don't think I really am telling the truth when I say "Thy Will be done." Because I feel sort of dead inside half the time and I'm so so tired and if this is God's will I honestly don't want it

[alykifolo]

There exist ferocious beings who laugh and ask for my life. They come from a plot of land I was too aware of to forget as I had once determined to do. They stepped out of pitifully shallow graves and shook off loose soil. They marched from a burial ground in which each once fresh grave was marked by a lazy mound of dirt. They scavenged and plowed and commanded an easy path to me. They intend to bury me ten feet under. There I will find a home in the endless dark, in the endless night of dirt. Light will have crawled to places I’ll no longer seek. The beasts will feed on my every painful breath and when their table empties, they will rejoice with strengthened bodies and I will be forgotten under tightly packed earth. All of this because I was too weak to kill the things I wanted dead.