#and getting into holidays stress
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gonna call out of work tomorrow due to a severe case of feeling tender as hell
#emynn.op#ofmd#kind of#but also#personal#idk Daphne's had some ~issues the past few days#and I got trapped in a rabbit hole watching videos of people making ofrendas for their pets#and then there's election anxiety#and work stress#and getting into holidays stress#and missing ofmd a lot a lot a lot#and I'm just feeling all the ~emotions~ of it all#I don't want to be wrapped up in a blanket I want to BE the blanket you get me?#sigh
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once more around the sun!! :3
#mine#cats#happy new year!!! a little late but alas#i didnt like th colours here but now i love them hehehehehheheh#i hope everyone had a good holidays life development for me is i now like ice hockey#in my sports fan era...these greasy sweaty bloody white men...intrigue me#also i got a new diary!! im using th hobonichi cousin in kinda alarmed by it ngl a5 is a lot of space to fill#i tried the hobonichi techo a couple years ago n found it a rlly weird size 2 work in but now.........big page scawwy#im trying not 2 b too insane about it . like relax who cares#if i do cute spreads i will share them :3#also in th same vein im not setting a book goal this year !! tbh i surpassed my goal last year by a lot and wasnt stressed about it at All#but i get so guilty about not reading sometimes like girl . guilty to who? god? are we catholic now? get a grip#anyway anway im going to toot on my flute and then eat my weight in mac n cheese#love how i had to get a new cork in my flute bc i didnt play for like 10 months n th guy was like play regularly! n i was like yeh will do!#and then did not do that#alas...time escapes me
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it's been awhile since I've worked on this project! I've had this verse finished for months but didn't want to post it on its own, and instead wait until the whole thing is strung together to show the final result all at once. But I'm tired of holding onto it, so here is one section of my deltarune animation! My art tag has other clips if anyone is interested in seeing more~
(song: "The Hymn of Axciom" by Vienna Teng)
#deltarune#deltarune animation#deltarune spoilers#deltarune chapter 2#noelle holiday#queen deltarune#kris deltarune#kris dreemurr#susie deltarune#ralsei#berdly#vienna teng#confession time the only reason I haven't been working on this is because I started playing minecraft#and anytime I open my computer it's minecraft time#I did also get a new computer in August which was a pain in the ass to set up#but I managed to get all my clip studio settings transferred over from my old battlestation#this has also been a weird transition year so once I'm fully established in my new place I'll be less stressed#didn't even realize how stressed it's made me#just one more week#oh god it's my art
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Jesus man, relax.
#this was in response to me saying “lunar new year” on the rarity art#personal#delete later#what in insane nonproblem to get this angry about#i asked my parents (taiwanese immigrants) about this and they said we use either but prefer lunar new year#because it's inclusive to koreans and vietnamese people who celebrate on the same day#lunar new year is an umbrella term same as “happy holidays.” this person is basically getting mad i said happy holidays instead of#merry christmas.#my family and i identify more as taiwanese than chinese so. we're not gonna say chinese new year much anyways#i sent this to my mom btw and she replied with basically “die mad i guess.” love you ma#this literally doesn't matter anyways i could have said “chinese new year” to caption that post and it wouldn't have mattered#the only reason i didn't is because i plan on drawing another art including carol (coco pommel) who's korean and celebrates the same day#like. most people in china/taiwan don't care they just say “happy new year” cuz it's the fuckin new year. someone saying lunar new year is#not erasure it's not flattening asian identities into a monolith. it's just an umbrella term.#anyways happy lunar new year happy chinese new year happy tet happy spring festival happy seollal#like i cannot stress enough to you guys that these holidays are on the exact same day and celebrate basically the same exact thing.#this is not an issue.
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tanktop lino for @skzfaker 💞🎁
#linosource#createskz#bystay#staycompany#dancerachasource#madebymel#jypartists#malegroupsnet#kpopco#lee know#skz#akire!!! some tanktop lino from rockstar era for you <3#thank you for being a friend and listening to allllll my rants and sharing the lino brainrot HAHAHAHA#i appreciate you so much 🥺#it's crazy how lino accelerated our friendship exponentially HAHAHAHAAH#ily and im wishing you a great holiday season + new year and that it is not too stressful <3#and i hope you can get some rest and good food🥺#💖💖💖
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Bow problems (+ other nonsense)
#saroart#dead cells#the beheaded#the collector#they just wanted a nice bow#the collector can do a lot of stuff but i don't think he's good at bows#i was drawing a lot of antagonistic beheaded/collector content so i wanted to do some more cute junk#okay a lot is an exaggeration. still#need some guys being buds content sometimes#weird monster guys doing domestic shit is my favorite genre#i got a bonus at holiday time and im tempted to buy a tablet i can use portably#esp because holy fuck i don't know how to draw anymore#but also i just spent stupid money on tickets to live podcasts so i probably shouldn't#unrelated im very upset today because fucking UPS didn't ring my goddamn doorbell and so “”missed me“” and couldnt deliver my specialty meds#why must i get my meds through ups#because the us is a hellscape and i am beholden to my health insurance company#ups who has literally never managed to get a package to this apartment#tbh im stressed as fuck about having to go through this every goddamn month
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I made this edit in my IG stories a while back to cheer myself up and it still makes me happy so now it's a video ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
#that's my babygirl#i'm so tired and stressed i can't make anything new but here's to hoping i get my requested holiday at the end of this month 🙏#rottmnt#rottmnt fanart#nqk#nqk adjacent#future leonardo#future leo#peepaw leonardo#peepaw leo#tervdraws#tervaedits#fifth harmony - that's my girl
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blessings roll call! add on in the tags if you so wish <3
#new (to me) car! huge answer to prayer!#was lowkey so stressed about car issues I was actively losing sleep over it.#having a reliable comfy and relatively cheap car now is such a blessing#dad very generously emptied his CDs out of the cool 30-yr-old compact holder I've been coveting for years and gave it to me#so now I get to party like it's 2007 driving around with my CDs expertly contained and catalogued#got accepted into the OTA program I was applying for all through the summer!#so gotta set up classes for that#more good school news is I've already done all the the co-reqs for next semester's OTA classes#meaning I only have 2 classes + choir which I'll do for fun and thus can work more hours and also have time for an actual life#looking forward to a more restful semester#time with family and friends has been so precious lately#even though it's been scarce it's been lovely and joyful when it happens#looking forward to the holidays actually for the first time in years!#usually they're dreaded because of family drama but I think I can manage to find joy anyway#and also choose to spend less time or no time in or around the drama#looking forward to break. three more weeks of classes and then freedom for five glorious weeks.#looking forward to Advent especially!#also made soup today and it's so good#thankful for a good job and for getting along with my coworkers#and immensely thankful for books especially audiobooks without which I would not have survived this year#and for the Gospel of John. it's holding me together rn. struggling through some faith questions and some anger towards God#the last few months#but as long as I can stay in scripture...it still seems worth it.#blessings
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I know a sorta made a small post along these lines the other day, but something a lil more official of!!
im kinda broke rn, between the recent stuff with losing my car and having to get a new one and work literally scheduling me 13 hrs a week. Im slowly losing money and it got really bad this month after paying my bills and everything and realizing I had just 300 bucks in my bank account.
My current job hasn't been working with me to give me the hours i need to make a living wage and iv been trying to get a new job for months with no success and it's looking like i could really use a lil extra support via online commission work rn until I can land a more solid paying job. I really hate to sound like a desperate wet cardboard box beast but I still need to insure my new car and cant afford it as i stand right now.
I wont ask for donations, I think im going to be fine, but a lil money to help keep my head above the water would be great so im just gonna promo my commission work. To anyone who can commission me in some way or another would be awesome! I appreciate any support I can get rn even just a reblog
My Commission Info
My Kofi
My Etsy
My Toyhouse
#again sorry for sounding like im crying wolf with 200 in my account but i havent bought groceries this month#or my car insurance#im waiting for my next paycheck#so i kinda know its about to get sucked down the drain#i still havent bought christmas gifts for my brother and the cousins which i would really like to be able to if i could#again im not gonna die#so im not asking for donations#i will be fine#im just a lil money stressed and if i could branch out to try and get some commission work rn that would be a huge help#again im not asking for donations#there defiantly ppl who need it more than me#but if you were everythinkin to commission me and have the funds rn#i wouldnt mind if you reached out#i know its the holidays and everyone is probably low on funds#i see the situation as it is rn#but if i could just make an extra hundred or two i think it put my mind at ease a lil more for when its time to pay all my bills again
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alright, friends, it's time for a lil heart-to-heart.
for quite a while now, i've struggled with feeling like the rpc is an actual community. there's a few things that contribute to this feeling, but it mostly comes down to a lack of interaction and visible interest. sometimes i feel very one-sided in my interest and attachment to my mutuals bc when i see their ooc posts or headcanons, i like them or comment, yet this isn't reciprocated by everyone. i can usually guess who i'm about to see in my notifications, and to be absolutely clear, i'm very grateful for those people!! it's a handful or two of you, but it could be just one and i'd be grateful. it's not about numbers whatsoever but rather growing uncomfortable that not all of my mutuals are all that interested in my character or me.
i write on here to share the excitement of creating with other people. i write on here to create together, too, but i'm also here to share characters and ideas and lore with people i know are happy to hear me ramble. i'm just getting to the point in which i'm questioning how many of you are actually happy to listen, and that's just not a good feeling at all. i'm not a mind reader, y'all. if you don't tell or show me that you care about the things i talk about or even about interacting, there's no way for me to know. eventually, i'm going to question why you're following me if i never see or hear from you, and eventually, i'm going to softblock and move on. that's the only way forward i see right now because i just do not feel comfortable on my own blog. i feel like i'm retreating into this quiet bubble to avoid discomfort, and it really sucks. it's killing my muse.
i'm not perfect. none of us are, and we can't be online at all times to catch every little post. but if we're a community, then we should be supporting each other when we can and liking headcanons, liking/commenting on those lil ooc posts that remind us our writing partners are humans with lives outside this site, reblogging their promo posts, sending in that meme they've reblogged even if we're nervous to reach out first -- if we're a roleplaying community, then we need to act like it. " community " implies connection, and a connection doesn't really begin when you follow each other. it begins when you reach out, even if it's in some small way.
tldr: i think we can all do better to support our mutuals and to connect, and i'm going to softblock people rather than continue to feel unsure where i stand with my mutuals. i won't start until sometime next week, and i won't make one of those " like this to remain mutuals " posts. they're not helpful to me, if i'm honest. if you're worried, just reach out. i'm literally a 4'9'' gremlin who sleeps with a m.unchlax plushie -- i promise i'm not scary despite this post uvu
#if i reread this one more time my head will explode asdfg so i'm done and hitting post#i need to stress though i'm very thankful for the people i have connected with in small and big ways <3 it means a lot to me#but i've been told bottling things up isn't a great idea so it's time i was just honest#also i’ve felt like this for a long time#so it’s not the time of year bc i know everyone gets busy during the holidays#i’m just feeling frustrated and tired bc in some instances my efforts do feel one-sided and this hobby is supposed to be an escape#rn it’s not such a great escape for me. i’m trying to be honest so that can change#i’m trying overall to reshape this blog a little in how i run it bc i want us all to have fun and feel seen#that means creating boundaries and being honest and trying new methods so that i don’t get overwhelmed and can actually write and chat#with everyone that i’d like to write and chat with uvu#alright……. i think that’s it after i’ve rambled in the tags asfhjk#i’ll queue this and a bunch of other stuff later when i’ve got time#for now i gotta finish getting ready for work — pls have a lovely day everyone!#get ready to ramble | ooc
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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Working on coat variants for all my Doggust designs! These guys are all available in my shop, with a few more breeds on the way!
Chihuahua, Afghan hound, Lancaster heeler, gsp, Irish setters, mini American shepherds, English mastiffs, Belgian Laekenois, Dalmatians, dogo Argentino
#my art#shop#dog art#dogblr#hi sorry the holiday meant I did not get paid on time and also I am late on rent so I’m trying to get all the new stuff in the shop#without giving myself a stomach ulcer due to stress#perchance buy a thing#or maybe commission me#a pathetic starving artist 🥺🤲
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Happy 5/14!!!!
Aaaaahh not sure if this is my best work 😭 I just really wanted to draw smth for vettonso day but my brain hasn't really been functioning well LOL so I kept dreading working on this, especially bcs its so important to me, y'know? I hope it's good????? I'm happy with the concept, but I was just so unsure on so many of the angles and it was killing me. I did the color thing bcs I thought it'd add something interesting to it :) since I didn't paint it as I usually would
Anyways! Process!
Now I will explain all of them:
Boy king au is where it all starts of course. I think their relationship is the most developed in this compared to the others, but at the same point, they just start from such a different point, especially affection-wise. All of these kinda have a power dynamic, except the last one, and this is the most imbalanced. Fernando is being subservient, the only part of Seb he may kiss(in public lol) is his hand.
Matador au next. They hurt themselves when they try to be affectionate, because they live in the culture of a sport of violence and death. The sword separates them, their love for the sport keeps them apart, in fear that they hurt each other. Seb, yet again, looks down upon Fernando. Seb haunts Fernando's whole career, the constant overhanging presence. Also aside from that, shame that you can't see his three musketeers look bcs of the black background 😔
2012 core!!! I think this one is pretty easy to understand. Both of them often kiss their trophies, more so than any driver. So they're both trying to claim the wdc trophy by kissing it. Maybe you guys should just get rid of the trophy altogether and claim each other! But yes, just like the sword in the matador au one, the trophy and their ambitions divides, keeps them from ever bridging the vast gap between them, at least at that point in time.
The conclusion! Aka what I wish we will get at Imola 2024- kidding kidding. But it is 2024. Finally there is no conflict between them, there's no big thing keeping them in conflict, they can finally come together. Finally they can touch, there is no gap to bridge, they can appreciate each other, and appreciate what they failed to in years past.
The thesis is basically that they always have their aspirations between them, and their aspirations happen to be basically the same thing. Until those are resolved, the gap between them is too vast for them to recognize and/or find any commonality. How do you get along with someone when you're both fighting for the same thing? How do you get along when it feels like one of you is winning more? How do you get along when there's such a vast gap?
In boy king au, it's going to take a while before they both feel settled about the issue of the throne. That's what makes that au interesting, they're trapped in this state of non-closure and they have to actually solve their issues without the matter of one of them simply removing themselves from the equation. They have to find a way to get over themselves and their aspirations, because like it or not they're stuck with each other. I think with the hand kissing, it represents how Fernando, at that point, is only willing to play along with the game if it's tradition, and he often won't budge in other ways. Yes, I will show subservience, but only in this detached, formal way that I don't connect personally to. He's still holding his own bitterness over meaningfully appreciating Seb. Though it's not like Seb isn't at fault. It takes a while for him to not hold things over Fernando, and constantly humiliate him. One day they will meaningfully show affection, and it won't be some sort of power play.
I think matador au is pretty similar to real life, and the 2010s era(it's basically just their actual plot line but in the context of bullfighting.) They're forever going to have this big elephant in the room, and it only really gets resolved when one of them leaves the sport. Once they're not fighting directly against each other, they realize what they've been missing out on and what they were not appreciating for so many years beforehand. They finally come together because they can't just rely anymore on the sport keeping them together. They actually have to make that step to be in each other's lives, rather than just taking their presence for granted.
Also the text on the comic. "We keep missing, and missing, and missing, and finally kissing." It's basically: we keep missing the point of it all, we keep failing to appreciate each other presence in our lives and in our own individual grand stories. But when we're not forced together anymore, we have to make the choice to come together again ourselves. We keep missing what we actually need to do. Missing each other in favor of our aspirations. Etc etc. One day we will finally embrace and there will be nothing keeping us apart.
#hahaha im more proud of what i wrote under the cut so make sure to read that!#im happy w the concept but the art hurt my brain so its not my best work i dont think#i also never draw kissing#so please take my token of actual shippy affection for once#VETTONSO DAY!!!!!!!!!! AAAAHH#man im glad i realized that last wk bcs i think i wouldve never recovered if i didnt draw smth for it#tho thsts why i think i kinda dont like this drawing 😭#the process was rly stressful to me bcs im like I HAVE TO FINISH THIS#its my national holiday and i must pay my dues 🤧🤧#but im happy abt the plotline of this all :)#sigh. when will vettonso truly stop missing and actually start kissing#i rly hope 005's art and mine works as some sort of sacrifice so we get pics of them together from imola#like PLEASE guys if theres literally one thing you could do for me. it would make my year. genuinely#i just need that shock again of japan 23. just the completely unexpected pictures#cmon lets have a meetup of aston failboys as they look upon the amr24 and commiserate#^ see exactly the point of this art. they have this bridging them together.#conflict that keeps them together and that they can relate to rather than dividing them#conflict is not man vs man anymore. it's man vs car 😔#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#catie.art.#catie.rambling.txt
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good omens season 2 + text posts I have on my phone (1/?)
#* in adele's voice * hello it's me#im making memes to cope lads this is my personal hell#it was quiet gentle and romantic until the horrors#im *dkdhskjsksksk * [crash][explosion] wooo weeee [sirens] good lord#(derogatory)#what and i cannot stress this enough the fuck#like dong get me wrong i loved everything even the twenty nightmarish final minutes#but im also very sad now#i feel like kate winsley in the holiday when she goes around the house crying#anyway#gos2 spoilers#good omens season 2#good omens spoilers#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#crowley#aziraphale#IF SOMEONE TALKS SHIT ABOUT AZI THEY'LL HAVE TO CATCH ME OUTSIDE#tumblr text meme#user purrvaire
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Happy lunar new year! 🐉
i've been busy and feeling under the weather lately so i haven't been drawing much, so here's a short video of what i HAVE accomplished lately:
[ID: A video of a toy brick music box in the shape of a potted mandarin tree decorated with tags and lanterns for the lunar new year. As the tune plays, the mandarin tree in the centre rotates. In the background is my Sun nightlight, glowing next to the music box.]
#lunar new year#lunar new year 2024#video#music box#honestly making holiday art lowkey stresses me out#holidays are already a bit stressful#but i have been chipping away at a big project lately#which i'll be sharing soon#and then!#after a long nap#i can get to all the stuff i wanna draw and write
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WHERES UR HEAD AT- AT- AT- AT?
WHERES UR HEAD AT?
WHERES UR HEAD AT?
FiNALLY MORE ART… Srry I’ve been gone for a while!!!!!! I… have just.. been super busy. And I’m still busy lol. I got a lot goin on!!!! But… But…!!! I managed to finish some art today!!! Thank god lol- so yeah! Behold this funky nurse creature..! she will be committing medical malpractice on u..!!! And that is a promise!! Or ur money back guaranteed!
#original#original art#artists on tumblr#nurse#demon#doodles#it’s the holidays dudes…. shit is fucking busy…..#but yeah… here is nurse tho… I hope u enjoy her…#I enjoyed drawing her!!! I tried to mess around w a lot of diff stuff!#like… I tried to not stress so much about.. making a polished end product.. and to instead just. draw… in a way I thought would be fun#and interesting! and it was!!#which was nice!#and also I think the end product turned out good too which is nICE BUT#I was trying not to worry about that while I was drawing lol.#I think.. she has soup for brains… but boy does she kno how to work a hacksaw…!#like. her brain is only made for surgery… almost scarily competent and cracking somebody open and messin around in there!#the scarily is cuz… u have to be awake lol… and also u don’t need surgery… she just wants to give it to u… so! ur getting surgery lol#but her brain has no cells or time or care for anything outside the operating room…#IDK IF ILL EVER DRAW THIS NURSE AGAIN SHE DOESNT EVEN HAVE A NAME#but there are those thoughts I had about her!#blood#knives#the scarily is also cuz. who KNOS what she’s doin in there!!! u certainly don’t!! other medical professionals dont! they’d be appalled!#straight up horrified! but! she knows…. she knows what she’s doin. that’s what matters in the end lol#also she def isn’t giving u any anesthesia lol she’s goin in raw#anyway yeah!!! she’s cute I like her!!!
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