#perchance buy a thing

[stinkybrowndogs]

Working on coat variants for all my Doggust designs! These guys are all available in my shop, with a few more breeds on the way!

Chihuahua, Afghan hound, Lancaster heeler, gsp, Irish setters, mini American shepherds, English mastiffs, Belgian Laekenois, Dalmatians, dogo Argentino

[todayisafridaynight]

[ almost ] seasonal question; what do you think the arakawa family does for the holidays?

jo bbg answered that for us three seconds into y7 now didnt he

[vampiromano]

fuck it I'm starting singing classes

i actually wrote a lot of tags on this one. it's mostly personal reminders. but I'm posting it bc I'll forget to do any of this otherwise

i do not check my scheduling apps I'm a disaster❤️

anyway the tldr is I'm leaving this year's seasonal depression behind‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ fuck yes

i get it in summer bc I'm built different (got a few mental disorders) but yeah anyway I don't fucking care I'm DOING SHIT AGAIN somebody clap

[yakuzillionaire]

when the biannual bonus hits .......

[cosmiiwrites]

adam with lucifer’s ex wife??? perchance??

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ adam x lucifers ex-wife!reader

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ hc/drabble: adam and his enemy's wife cw: fem!reader, cussing, suggestive (sex is mentioned) a/n: i found it easier to do in hc form, hope thats okay !

originally, his plan was to make lucifer jealous

i mean, he got his wife stolen from the same man, twice!

it's only reasonable he gets his fair share of revenge

adam is so cocky when he finally gets his hands on you (aka convincing you to have sex with him)

he immediantly goes and brags about it to lucifer

adam tries not go overboard though, considering lucifers done what he did twice.

lucifer: II adam: I

however after a while he realizes he actually really likes you, not just for clowning on lucifer

if you're a sinner/demon adam probably pulled some strings with sera to get you up into heaven

when you two are in a serious relationship he starts to get REALLY possessive

he doesnt wanna lose someone he's loved a third time

adam would try to make your relationship enjoyable, getting you all sorts of gifts, playing his guitar for you, going down on you till you're begging him to stop, bringing you to his favorite places, etc.

in reality adam does all this because he doesnt want you to leave him, or think hes not good enough

and most of all he doesnt want you to even think about going back to lucifer.

actually, scratch that.

he doesnt want you thinking about lucifer, period.

adam says the most vulgar things during sex

"im gonna make you forget about that asshole,"

"bet lucifer's never fucked you this good, huh?"

and to be fair hes kinda right

he makes your relationship VERY public, finding ways to insert you into any conversation

poor lute has to hear about it every second of the day

"lute, do you think [name] would like this? fuck it, im buying it."

on top of that, this man gets jealous very easily

because of this he needs to have his hand on you at all times

this means holding your waist, hand, or just caressing your thigh

if someone gets too close to you for his liking, he'll shoot them a death glare before taking off with you

adam also has shit tons of weird nicknames for you, such as: sugar tits (his personal favorite), sweetcheeks, hot stuff, his 'bitch' (he gets scolded by you after though)

although hes an asshole most of the time, he cares for you, he really does

[moonstruckme]

if you aren’t interested literally delete this request but jealous sirius?? mayhaps a jealous sirius that thinks he couldn’t possibly be jealous but then sees you literally talking to another person and is like ‘oh fuck’??? perchance a jealous sirius, in any fashion you may choose???

Thanks for requesting :)

fwb!Sirius x fem!reader ♡ 714 words

Sirius is waiting outside your work with iced coffees in both hands and a pastry bag tucked under his arm, because he’s an idiot. He’s been doing more and more boyfriend shit like this lately. He realizes that he’s not supposed to, that it sort of violates the arrangement you’d agreed on all those weeks ago, but you haven’t called him on it and he doesn’t think he’ll stop unless you do. 

Really, the line separating what you have from a relationship is gossamer thin anyway. You’re one of each other’s closest friends, you do nearly everything together, and you also fuck sometimes. The only thing missing from the equation is exclusivity, but Sirius isn’t concerned with that. You’d agreed when you’d started this thing that you could both date whomever you liked, and he’s had no problem with that, with you (because you never tell him about your other dates) or with anyone else (because he’s never wanted to date anyone else). And he isn’t the jealous type anyway. But what he finds himself craving now is the officiality of it. Sirius wants to break the rules. He wants to take you out to nice dinners and buy you flowers and kiss you on the cheek whenever he feels like it. 

He’s become a total sap, basically. 

It’s that sappiness that seeps warm and satisfying into his chest when he sees you appear at the door. You’re smiling, eyes all lit up and—there’s someone else with you. All that shit in his chest crashes straight through to his gut. 

The guy’s wearing your same not-quite uniform, slacks and a black shirt. A coworker. He grins down at you as you talk animatedly, gesturing this way and that to make your point. Sirius loves it when you talk like that. He doesn’t love it that this guy’s getting to see it. 

You see Sirius, and your eyes light all over again, grin spreading. 

“Siri!” You wave goodbye to your coworker, bounding over. “Hi, what’re you doing here?” 

“I thought you might want a pick-me-up,” he says, passing you your iced coffee. 

Your mouth drops open, still quirked up at the corners in a dorky sort of grin. “No way, thank you!” 

“Sure.” Sirius wants to be better than this, and he really thought he was, but— “Who was that?” he asks, keeping his tone blasé as he starts to walk towards your place. 

You glance behind you as if you’ve forgotten who he could mean. “Oh, that was Marc.” You take a sip of your coffee, eyes closing blissfully. 

Sirius nods slowly, doing the same. “Does he work here?”

“Mhm. Yeah, he’s cool.” 

“Neat.” 

It's possible a bit more rancor slips into his tone than he intends, because you look over at him curiously. Sirius is suddenly cognizant of the urge to kiss you fast and hard, making fucking sure Marc and everyone else in your work sees. He opens up the pastry bag to distract you both. 

“Got some snacks too.” 

“Ooh.” You peer into the bag, drawing in a delighted gasp at the array of treats inside. “Can I have the chocolate donut?” 

“Course.” He grins down at you, enjoying the way your eyes crinkle in return. “You can have whatever you want.” 

“Thanks.” You take it from the bag, biting into the soft pastry eagerly. A bit of frosting gets on the skin just below your lip. Sirius thumbs it away before he can stop himself. “S’this a precursor for sex?” you say through a mouthful. “Are you buttering me up for something?” 

And Sirius wants to tell you that it’s not, wants to say that he likes doing things for you and that there doesn’t need to be more to it than that, but his tongue is more practiced in bawdiness than sincerity. 

“It is if you want it to be, sweet thing,” he says smoothly. 

Your laughter twinkles through him like starlight, and you link your arm through his, tugging him closer as you walk.

“Fine,” you drawl with false reluctance. “But we don’t have that long, my flatmate will probably be home just after five.” 

Sirius flexes his bicep, drawing you closer still. Tells himself that at least you’re not still thinking about Marc. 

“I can work with that.” 

[macabresymphonies]

Look, I'm not really on the "Smirk's 14 is back bby" train just yet, but I did notice that Alice of all people has been making some strange jokes all throughout the show so far.

Yes, Alice is like a Family Guy episode, she shoots jokes at mach speed to see if anything lands, but with stuff she's been saying there's seem to be a strange overarching theme of her referencing Entities (or avatars if you prefer). We're not the only one noticing this, Sam very much did too:

TMAGP 06 Sam: Okay firstly, this place is making you really morbid. (...)

I know that she references creepy stuff all around and with Smrik's 14 basically covering each fear on earth we might lean into confirmation bias, but it might be significant in the future so it's better to consider it now than later. With that, let me compile all of Alice's morbid "jokes" so far and how they seem to relate to Fears from TMA:

The Dark

TMAGP 01 Alice: Boooo! Your pathetic addiction to vitamin D will only make you weak.

The Flesh/The Spiral

TMAGP 01 Alice: Listen to me: bones are a lie peddled by Big Milk to keep you buying. No such thing.

The Stranger

TMAGP 01 Alice: Don’t boo me! I created you, and I can destroy you!

The Spiral (specifically mention of molding a person like clay, like in The Great Twisting)

TMAGP 01 Alice: You'll see. Anyway, hurry it up, time to mold you like clay into the perfect government drone for the Office of Incident Assessment and Response.

The Spiral

TMAGP 02 Alice (sardonic): Time isn’t real.

The Spiral (specifically MAG 74: Fatigue)

TMAGP 06 Alice: Have you considered simply bypassing your mouth altogether and injecting the beans directly into your bloodstream? Sam: Great idea. Why didn’t I think of that? Alice: Not enough coffee beans in your blood.

The Dark (very blatantly)

TMAGP 06 Alice: Oh Sam. The sun is the enemy. It rules the world of light but we who dwell in darkness feel only its wrath. Get the curtains.

The Flesh

TMAGP 06 Alice: Then we draw lots and one of you gets eaten at the Christmas party.

The Flesh (again)

TMAGP 06 Alice: “Would you like tea Celia? Coffee perchance? My heart carved from my chest and arranged on a little doily? Please, Celia, cut out my tongue so I can always be there to lick your stamps for you!”

These seem... strangely consistent, whenever she goes her gallows humour bit it's either reference to hating on the sun (light), humorous "I'm baltantly gaslighting you" stuff or reference to eating/getting eaten/cannibalism. Take that as you will, these could be "easter eggs", but they might as well be clues.

[dissolveism]

【 ✧ 】 BRAND NEW KIND OF BLUE ⎯⎯⎯⎯ ﹙ONE﹚

by clicking the source link or the title above you'll be redirected to ko-fi to buy a seven page, single character doc. it's messy, and it has a mostly scrap book aesthetic. it includes drawings, and as such, it won't be mobile friendly when it comes to editing. it includes general information, appearance, personality, connections, history, and misc.

please do not remove credit or redistribute, follow the instructions in the pdf!! it's easy enough to understand i think?? maybe. perchance. i suck at explaining things.

absolutely feel free to message me if you need help, i don't mind dms! it will take you to ko-fi, where you'll download a pdf with the link to it, this does NOT include the psd unfortunately, but i'm sure if you dig around you can find a free one that's similar :)

[nethartic]

Hello I need to buy things like medications and dr's appointments. Consider browsing my wares, perchance.

[iheartmalewives]

Since you're online again i was hoping you cpuld mayhaps open your requests again? :3 and if so could you perchance write an idia aquarium date?

Aquatic Sceneries are Enjoyed Best With the Right Company ☆

HI OMG 😭 THANK GOD IM BACK AFTER A WHOLE ASS YEAR OF DISAPPEARANCE. Ive been so caught up with everything that I totally forgot about tumblr 😓😓 Im back now and will be taking requests! I have deleted the old requests as they probably dont want to read it anymore hshsjd ;; so if you have any new requests, tell me in my inbox ^^

An aquatic date with a special someone was one of your dream dates. You loved seeing marine life and the habitat they live in through a glass, but seeing it with someone you love was definitely an added point.

And of course, you had to drag Idia Shroud on a aquarium date. You two have been dating for a while but you've only ever had your date nights indoors. Initially, you didn't mind it. You always wanted Idia to feel comfortable no matter what. But this time, you just couldn't resist going on this trip with him!

It took you 5 whole days to persuade him, 5 whole days of begging on your knees and giving him all kinds of limited edition items just to convince him. Thankfully, he eventually agreed.

In the serene Aquatic area, with only a few people around, the two of you stood, captivated by the sight of fish gracefully swimming. "I can't stand these things..." he mumbled, lightly tapping on the glass, causing the fish to scatter in fear. And in that moment, a look of horror washed over his face as he turned to you exclaiming, "Even the fish are scared of me!"

"No they're not. They're like that! See—" As you tapped on your side of the window, contrary to his experience, the fish didn't scatter at all. Instead, they became drawn to your finger, as if it were fresh bait, swimming closer with curiosity and interest. "Nevermind."

"S-See? They hate me." He pointed at the fishes accusingly.

"No, they dont." You provided reassurance by linking your arm with his before leading him to another area. The two of you continued to explore, marveling at the diverse species you encountered along the way. With each new sight, Idia's curiosity and interest grew stronger.

Certain fish were particularly drawn to his hair, which seemed to radiate various shades of blue, illuminating the room with vibrant hues. "Look, we can eat that." You playfully said, pointing at a humongous fish that swam around slowly.

"Ew. No." He frowned. "I hate seafood with like a BURNING passion."

"Is that a pun?"

"Maybe." He grinned, showing off those razor-sharp teeth that you always thought was endearing, even if it scared a few people alway. "But NGL, I could definitely catch these things."

"In what? A game?" You asked sarcastically, watching the tips of his hair turn a shade of pink. "Duh. Those types of games are easy win. GG fishies." He said, glancing at the tank next to you, the smirk on his face causing you to laugh softly.

"Right. Let's enjoy this rather than thinking about killing the fishes. Oh— What about a pic?"

"I don't do pictures!" He squeaked, his eyes widening in slight horror.

"Come on, Ids. Pleaaase?"

"I already came here. Isn't that enough? This is not a normal habitat for me."

"Pleaaaseee?"

"F-Fine!"

You grinned and took out your phone, taking a selfie, with Idia trying his best not to shy away; his hair was slowly turning pink.

But then again, this whole date was a dream come true for you and he couldn't care less about getting embarrassed as long as he makes you happy. (and get you to buy more figurines for him even though he can afford it all)

a/n: hoping this is enough for a come back 😭 again, open for requests

[tgmsunmontue]

To wake, perchance to dream WIP 1/?

Hangster - Jake wakes up 10 years in the future and thinks he has amnesia. Instead it's a glimpse of what his life could be. When he wakes up right before being called back to Top Gun for the special detachment he's going to try his damndest to make that future come true...

CHAPTER ONE

                Jake wakes up too warm, pinned beneath the weight of someone’s arm and he opens an eye and squints out into the glaring morning light.

                This is not his room.

                He has blackout curtains in his room, not gauzy nets that blow around in the breeze from an open window.

                This is not the couch in Javy’s apartment.

                Nor is it the guest room at the Machado’s home.

                He didn’t drink anything last night, but he’s feeling stiffer than he usually does.

                Something is… not right.

                “Hrmgh.”

                He shifts so he can glance over his shoulder at the owner of the arm and sleepy-mumble and his mouth drops open in surprise.

                Bradley Bradshaw.

                Not only Bradley Bradshaw, but at least half-naked Bradley Bradshaw, spooning him and… wearing a wedding ring. And hopefully maybe pants.

                Fuck.

                He pushes the arm and attached hand away, wiggles away a little and then sees the ring on his own hand and just stares at it.

                What the fuck is going on.

                He’d remember getting married right?

                Surely?

                “Jake… turn off the sun.”

                “You’re the one that didn’t shut the curtains,” he says, and he has no idea what made him say that, but Bradley just groans, pulls a pillow over his head and Jake decides that now is a good time to run for the bathroom.

…            …            …

                He looks old. Not bad, but he’s definitely got more wrinkles than he did when he last remembers looking into the mirror and he’s either got some weird type of amnesia or he’s dreaming or he’s in an alternate timeline. Those are his top three theories and he knew being obsessed with science fiction as a teenager would come in use someday. He uses the bathroom and cups his hands to drink some water from the tap.

                Right.

                Information gathering.

                Best place to start is going to be his phone, if he can find it. Surely he still has a phone in the future and hasn’t allowed anyone to insert a chip into his brain. He dries his hands and tiptoes back into the bedroom, takes in the naked torso of Bradley Bradshaw and okay, he did good if he somehow managed to lock that down, regardless of timeline or potential amnesia. He spies a phone on the side of bed he woke up on, lying on a flat platform type thing, along with a watch and something that looks like it attaches to his ear, which he leaves. He pulls the curtains closed and hopes that buys him a little more time before he grabs a pair of jeans tiptoes back out, carefully closing the door behind him.

                He pulls the jeans on and walks down the hall, phone gripped tightly in his hand and takes in the pictures on the walls. This version of himself and Bradshaw are definitely married, couple of photos that can be nothing but wedding photos. They have lots of people in their lives if the number of photos are anything to go by, although he doesn’t recognize half of them. It’s only just after six in the morning, the clock in the kitchen informs him and he spies a coffee machine and it’s already on, filling steadily and he wonders who turned it on or if these things are automatic now.

                While he waits for it to finish he open his phone, going to contacts and scans through them.

                Abbey. Admrl Simp. Alex. Alicia. Amber. Austin. BamBam. Best Person Ever. Blake. Bob. Brendan. Bryce. Dan. Dave. Dickhead. Directory. DJ. Fanboy. Fritz. Hadley. Halo. Harvard. Hin. Hondo. Jack. JB. Javy. Jared. Jason. Klaus. Kyle. Mark. Matty. Mike. Mom. Morgan. Neil (not Omaha). Nick. Nix. Olivia. Omaha. Payback. Penny. Per. Pete. Phil. Robert (not Bob). Rooster. Sally. Scott. Steffan. Tony. Voicemail. Wayne. Yale.

                There are so many names he doesn’t recognize and he feels his breath coming a little short and forces himself to calm down. Panicking will not help. There are names he does recognize so he will start there. Actually, now that he looks he realizes he recognizes more, but they’re callsigns of other pilots, not friends he’d expect to have in his phone. Except if he has somehow time travelled then maybe they’re his friends now too?

                Javy though, he knows Javy now, and he looks at the most recent messages from Javy and is glad he didn’t immediately call him, because admitting he didn’t know Javy had kids and that apparently they’re under his care… Fuck. Where are they? He swallows down the rising panic again, years of training kicking in and walks down the hall and carefully pushes open the almost closed door he’d walked past earlier and sure enough there are kids in there. Three of them, and he’s not sure what’s the most surprising, that Javy finally got hitched and settled enough to have three kids, or that he apparently trusts Jake to look after them. Jake and Bradshaw that is. Apparently.

                This bedroom is bigger than the room he woke in, but it’s clearly been decorated for these kids in mind and he wonders how often they stay over, to have individual beds. He doesn’t know kids, he was the youngest of four and they were all pretty close in age. He’s been deployed while his brother’s and sisters had started having kids, sees them irregularly at best. But he can probably hazard a guess at ages. Their names are above their beds, two being cribs and he peers in, wonders just how little these children are. Alleisha, James, Brandy.

                Alleisha is in a bed, and he’d put her around six or seven years old, can’t really project her length int height, and being tall doesn’t always equal age anyway. She’s definitely the oldest by far though, the little boy, James, maybe two or three, splayed out like a starfish, thumb lax in his mouth and he looks so much like Javy it makes him smile and something in his gut relaxes an infinitesimal amount. The fact that he looks older, that Javy has kids is making him think he’s got amnesia. That’s more likely than time travel, but he’s feeling a little bit sick regardless, everything unfamiliar.

                He moves over to the final crib and there is a baby, a legit, tiny human, it can’t even be a year old, and it’s eyes are open, watching him quietly and he freezes, wonders what he’s meant to do with it. He’s seen other people do things with babies. Knows the theory. In theory. Okay. He can fly multi-million dollar planes, he can pick up a baby. He leans down, making a shushing noise and he gets a wide grin and a slap to the face for his troubles as he picks Brandy up and cradles her to him. She’s heavier than he thought she’d be.

                Right. What do you do with babies. Diaper change right? Oh god. There’s a change table and he lies her down, looks at the snaps and zips covering the baby and wonders if he should just go and wake Bradshaw up and get him to deal with it. Except this is Javy’s kid. Plus he doesn’t need anyone’s help. He works at the zipper and snaps and finally finds a sodden diaper before he realizes he’s going to need a new one, fortunately located right beneath the change table, along with some wipes. Okay. This is going well.

                He pays attention as he undoes the little tabs, knowing he’s going to have to do the whole thing in reverse, and he has a fucking engineering degree, he can figure out a fucking diaper. Fortunately only a wet diaper and he wipes, wipes again, wonders how many times he’s meant to wipe before deciding that someone else can take the next diaper change. There’s a little diaper pail which he’s grateful for, one hand not leaving her little body, terrified she might just roll off. When do babies start rolling around? Planes don’t move unless you tell them to, she’s moving all limbs independently and with no apparent control, sucking on a fist but thankfully quiet and happy. He doesn’t want to see not-quiet and not-happy if he can help it.

                He takes her out of the weird sack thing, assumes it’s a blanket thing for sleeping and carries her back to the kitchen, desperate for coffee now, and he realizes he’s going to need to feed her. Okay. Javy wouldn’t have left a baby here without food and he opens the refrigerator and sure enough there’s a few bottles already lined up and he grabs one out, the high-pitched squeal that Brandy lets out a clear agreement that he at least is on the right path.

                There’s an electronic bucket type thing beside the coffee machine which makes him think of a mini ice-bucket, it has the same brand logo as the bottle and he wonders if it’s really that simple. Puts the bottle in and presses the button on the front, and it’s definitely doing something, button turning from blue to red. Brandy is almost headbanging in excitement so he again feels like he’s once again picked the right step. While he waits for the button to hopefully change color again and provide a warm bottle he opens his phone again, wonders if he should message Javy and tell him they all made it through the night. Is that something he would do now?

                He opens up the photo gallery instead and okay… if he has amnesia then he’ll just wait to get his memories back. Whenever he’s in a photo his smile is so wide it splits his face. His camera roll is filled with photos of Bradshaw and these kids, and a dog, and some people he doesn’t recognize, but then there is Javy and a woman… he zooms in and heads back into the hall to look at the photos on the wall more closely. Phoenix. Natasha Trace. She’s in a lot of the photos as well and he opens up his contacts again, scans through the names. There’s no Phoenix, Trace or Natasha… but there is a Nix and he opens them as he walks back to the kitchen, hoping the bottle is hopefully done because Brandy is getting less patient.

                Fortunately it’s clearly designed to be operated by either an idiot or sleep deprived parents and the light is now green and flashing and he swirls it and tries to squirt some in his mouth just to check the temperature, Brandy seems horrified at his actions and makes a high pitched squeal of displeasure, struggling to get to the bottle but he doesn’t want her to get a burnt mouth or anything.

                “It’s okay baby girl, I’m not stealing it from you…”

                She makes the same displeased squealing noise, hands reaching for the bottle and Jake wonders if he’s meant to hold her, or get a cloth to cover her or something. Ah well. Problem for future Jake. He hands her the bottle and moves into the living room, settles into the corner of an incredibly comfy sofa and she squirms a little until she’s nestled into the crook of his arm, eyes wide and watching him, both hands clasped on the bottle and he doesn’t resist the urge to place a soft kiss on her forehead.

                He opens his phone again and navigates back to the messages, looking for Nix and then opening the message history. The messages between them alternate between scathing teasing and then more serious things about the kids, he’s sent her lots of photos and he clearly has a lot to do with these kids. To have the bedroom set up like it is, it looks like a permanent thing, except his messages with both Javy and Phoenix are as recent as yesterday, so nothing has happened to them to explain why their kids are here, with him and Bradshaw.

                Fucking hell.

                Bradley Bradshaw.

                Phoenix he can kind of get his head around in a way, especially if she’s married to Javy. Bradshaw on the other hand, he doesn’t know if they’ve managed to exchange any casual civil words with each other. When flying they simply seem to rub each other the wrong way and when not flying they really rub each other up the wrong way. And yet here he is, apparently married to him and looking after his best friend’s kids. What has become of his life? In another world he’d definitely have made more than one pass at Bradshaw, but he’d never got even the slightest inkling that it would be welcomed, let alone reciprocated.

                And yet here he is.

                He glances down and startles, Brandy has finished the bottle, is sucking in air and he knows enough that that can’t be good so he takes the bottle from her, which she gratefully allows him to do. Then a dog appears, looks at him and gives a soft whuff before settling on the floor just near him and Jake wonders if the dog is his. He doesn’t want to move, Brandy apparently content to simply lie with him, the dog as well and he’s wondering if he needs to let it out when he hears footsteps approaching and he twists his head.

                “You look good like that…” Bradshaw says, and he’s almost upside down, smiling at him softly, like he expects Jake to say something back and he has no idea what it might be.

                “Morning…”

                “Morning…” Bradshaw replies, giving him a weird little smile like Jake didn’t say quite what he expected. “Thanks for letting me sleep in…”

                “You’re, uh, welcome…” Jake says, shifting and standing up because he feels too vulnerable lying on his back on the sofa with Bradshaw sort-of looming over him. Of course, now he’s got an even better view of Bradshaw and he can’t help but look his fill, Bradshaw in nothing but low-hanging sleep pants and looking sleep-tousled. He also looks older, maybe in his mid-forties, but he’s still firm and smooth and Jake wants to lick a stripe over his stomach. Nothing wrong with his sex drive at least.

                “And this is why we don’t have kids ourselves. Get your mind out of the gutter Mr Bradshaw, we’ve got kids today and cannot go back to bed…” Bradshaw says, moving close to him and taking Brandy from him and he lets her go, misses the warmth of her tiny body.

                “Pity…” he says, and finds he means it, because even if he’s freaking out about this weird waking-dream he’s in, Bradshaw is still a certified snack and Jake wants him. And apparently he took his name when they got married. He’s not surprised he was willing to give up Seresin considering how little he cares for it even now.

                “I’m sure you’ll make it up to me tonight. And tomorrow morning if you’re feeling athletic enough.”

                “When am I not feeling athletic enough?” Jake asks, because he can’t imagine his personality is that different even if he can’t remember time lapsed.

                “Mmm, there’s that fighting spirit. Like it when you feel like you have to prove a point.”

                Then Bradshaw is kissing him, his fingers sneaking under his shirt to stroke Jake’s bare skin and he feels his entire body erupt in goosebumps, suddenly hyperaware, every little hair on his body standing on end and seemingly aching for attention. He’s not used to this, not used to someone who just touches him and moves him like they know exactly what to do and god it feels both terrifying and exhilarating.

                “Come on, we better get breakfast going for trouble one and trouble two…”

                “Yeah, course,” Jake agrees, because he’s the one out of time and place and he’s going to need to figure out a way to break that news to Bradshaw and a little more time sounds good. Regarding breakfast though, fortunately Bradshaw seems to be the one that makes it, but he watches carefully which cupboards and drawers have what items, his mind racing trying to figure out whether he’s suddenly going to remember everything in a rush, or have it trickle through.

                “Morning uncle Jay…”

                “Morning,” Jake replies, knows the greeting is for him because he’s also getting a hug to his side and he likes being called Uncle Jay, wants to hear it all the time. God, no wonder these kids have a bedroom here if he’s already this much in love with them all. Best case of amnesia ever. He needs to figure out how to let Bradshaw know about that too, not to freak him out, but just to let him know, because he should probably get checked out even if he does feel fine physically. The fact he’s missing a chunk of time isn’t normal. Of course, there is the chance that he’s still dreaming, but his dreams have never seemed real like this.

                Or as domestic.

                Or as detailed.

                The dog makes another quiet whuff and he can hear the front door opening, but it’s clearly someone with a key and he has to stop himself from freaking out that he’s going to have another person he doesn’t know enter his new reality.

                “You two wearing pants?” a woman’s voice calls out and Jake catches Bradshaw’s eye roll.

                “Jesus Amelia, of course we’re wearing pants, the kids are here!”

                “Well, I have to ask.”

                “It was one time, and you didn’t knock…”

                “And I’m still getting therapy for it,” a woman apparently called Amelia says, pulling a face and Jake doesn’t know whether to smile or say something or… okay, he’s being hugged in greeting and he hugs back, swallows back the automatic nice to meet you because he clearly knows her already, even if he has no fucking clue who she is. She’s definitely younger than him and Bradshaw though.

                “Aunty Amelia!” Alleisha says, and Jake feels a spark of jealousy at the joy and excitement in her voice, directed at someone else, and then reminds himself the love and affection are not a finite resource as he watches Amelia hug Alleisha, then James and then slaps Bradshaw on the ass, making him squawk. She just laughs and takes Brandy from Bradshaw, and the baby just goes happily. Jake is so confused.

                The dog paws at him and whines, and he glances down and pats her; she’s definitely his, with the way she’s hovering near his side. Bradshaw is looking at him with a raised eyebrow though when he looks up from paying her attention, but goes back to setting out bowls and glasses of water, cuts up fruit and slides another cup of coffee across to him with a soft smile. Jake smiles back, wonders when he might get a moment alone with him. His phone vibrates in his pocket and he pulls it out.

Best Person Ever>> Stop staring at his ass. You’ve been home for two weeks. Honeymoon period should be over.

                He glances up and Amelia is smirking at him, and he doesn’t know where she fits into all of this, who she is to them, other than someone he has in his phone as Best Person Ever and judging from her smirk he wouldn’t put it past her to have changed that herself. He shoves his phone back in his pocket. If he’s been home for two weeks then he’s probably been deployed, which means he’s still in the Navy. That settles some of the uneasiness in his gut, not everything in his world is that different then. And this is what he comes home to. That’s pretty fucking cool.

                They eat, Brandy being placed in a highchair that materializes from the laundry and she’s given some slices of banana to mash up, which is gross and horrifying to watch. The expression on his face must be amusing, because both Alleisha and James are giggling at him, and even Bradshaw is hiding a grin, but he gets up and brushes a soft kiss on his forehead, murmurs something about every time and he wants to know what the hell he means. Amelia is also eating breakfast, making herself at home and wiping at James’ face and even though he has no idea who she is it doesn’t feel wrong that she’s here and part of their domesticity.

                “Right, I’m taking Lady Alleisha and Knight James to their swimming lessons. I’ll be back after we’ve visited the library… We might also swing by a playground on our way back.”

                Bradshaw is nodding like this is the standard routine and Jake just smiles, because the kids are happy and excited and now he has his opportunity to talk to Bradshaw. Tell him that he’s not… well. Can’t remember anything.

                Yeah.

                This is going to be awkward as fuck.

CHAPTER TWO

[mercurysgem0]

Tanjiro Headcanons! (General, Platonic, Romantic)

my first writing in a while, might be terrible. also the formatting MAYYYY be off i rarely use tumblr let alone post on here.. gulps. ENJOY THO!!! shoutout to @thecardiganzlovrx3 for some ideas and support love u a lot buddy! <3

General:

-despite what everyone thinks, he is KINDA ASS at cooking 

-he doesn’t burn things (often) and knows how to sorta use spices and seasonings, but he is no 5 star chef 

-(probably isnt even 3 star)

-sometimes neglects his own hygiene, just isn’t that important to him with all of the things he has to do

-definitely reminds others to take care of themselves, though

-not disgusting by any means but perchance a little smelly here and there

-gets really embarrassed when he realizes how long its been since he’s gotten clean

-if this were the modern era he would for sure use 3-n-1 (sorry guys… its more efficient hes a busy man..)

-pine or a woodsy scent :)

-ROUUGGHHH hands i dont even think this is a hc this is CANON

-could sand wood with them thangs 

-cried when he got his ears pierced, he doesnt know why it just gave him the urge to cry :(

-loves animals, he listens very closely whenever Mitsuri is gushing about her cats

MORE MODERN ERA HCS:

-cleanest desktop ever. so organized

-dont even get me started on his files

-he might not know a lot about technology but he knows how to keep it clean

-doesn’t download anything, just pictures of his family and friends

-lock screen would be a landscape, maybe a river or mountains

-main screen is for sure a picture of at least him and nezuko if not the whole squad

-doesn’t know how to download things on mobile 😭just took a screenshot of something he liked and set his wallpaper to it (credit to my wife kell for this one love u bby)

-definitely an android user, probably a samsung galaxy

-none of his contacts have pictures, he doesn’t know how to set them

-dry texter do i even need to say this

-isnt much of a music guy

-he wouldnt even know where to look to find music

-not that he doesnt like it, he just rarely listens on his own

Platonic: (like best friends)

-finds little things on his outings that reminds him of you

-sometimes he loses them and doesn’t realize until he’s back, and gets really sad

-always gives them to you when he doesn’t! it makes him really happy to see how much you like whatever it is he gave you

-he loves you like family and will treat you as such

-sometimes overbearing with his care but he means well

-crazy protective like how he is with all of his family (and friends for that matter)

-wouldn’t be the same if you died, for any reason

-there would definitely be a mental scar forever if he lost you

-always surprises him when you reciprocate any kind of love or care towards him, he just isnt used to it

-appreciates it a LOT though

-if you have longer hair he would definitely try and style it for you (disguises it as practice for nezuko’s hair but really he just thinks your current style is atrocious)

-if you have shorter hair, hes clueless. completely clueless

-no idea what to do so just brushes it and maybe puts in a cute little hair clip (GIGGLING TO MYSELF RN ANYWAYSSS)

-someone give me more ideas for this im OPEN TO ANYTHING i will do a part two if needed

ROMANTICALL:

-an old fashioned man (its literally the 1920s cmon)

-in addition to the things he finds to give you, he also buys you a lot of things

-doesnt care if you protest, he loves you so you have to accept it!

-very shy with affection at first, almost uncharacteristically 

-slow progression, doesn’t even kiss you until around 4 months in

-sometimes this makes you feel unloved, if you bring it up he’ll immediately apologize and try to reassure you, and explains hes not used to loving someone physically

-after this talk he does start doing little touches

-grabbing your shoulder, your hand, brushing your hair behind your ear, cute stuff like that!

-simple pet names nothing over the top

-honey, dear, baby, and maybe a cute personalized one :) (like something about your personality or an inside joke)

-uses your crow to find out what kind of dates you would like the best, and what to wear to said dates

-picture a cheesy 2000s movie getting ready scene like with the changing room and the peoples reactions but its tanjiro and your crow (ALSO CREDIT TO KELL FOR THIS MY LITTLE HELPER)

-goes over the top on holidays, especially because he probably doesnt get to actually enjoy very many holidays

-valentines day god. 

-gets really giddy when he sees you interacting with nezuko, something inside of him warms up (he definitely gets more cuddly after this)

-once he’s fully used to loving you, BE PREPARED.

-every love language ever

-mainly gift giving, words of affection, and physical touch

-not too big on pda but hes not completely against it

-he prefers to have private moments, your love is between him and you <3

-hand holding, hugging, kissing, he’ll do that stuff almost anywhere, but in small amounts

-behind closed doors.. hes a beast. 

-cuddling EVERY NIGHT HE CAN. loves being close to you and knowing you’re safe with him to protect you (he knows you’re strong and can fight anything off, it just gives him peace of mind)

[yoshimickster]

AND NOW-a possible future Hazbin Hotel story!

Angel: HEY BITCH-how was the date with double dick?

Cherri: Oh you know, we uh went... antiquing.

Angel: OH...I see.

Cherri: And even when we DIDN'T buy anything he'd just go into MAD detail about where the fucking thing came AND how much he appreciated it's fucking form!

Angel: ... and you loved it didn't you?

Cherri: OF COURSE I LOVED IT, how the fuck can one man describe a lamps in intricate detail and be so FUCKING CUTE?!

Angel: That's St. Pentious for you!

Pentious: Cherri darling, I just learned of a store that is FILLED with rotary phones, perchance you'd join me?

Cherri: Fuck YEAH, you sexy snake nerd!

Angels: Youse two are also banging in all the stores you go to right?

Cherri: Oh of course.

Pentious: It's hard finding a business in hell that DOESN'T have a sex room!

[drumcanister]

cup headcanons bc im too anxious to sleep

- literally CANT sleep with socks on (me too)

- always has to be doing something even if its small to keep his mind busy so he doesn't go insane

- feeds stray cats on his walks and talks to them (they all have names)

- when eating out he either gets the same thing every time or buys the whole menu , no in between

- watched a sad romance movie once and cried himself to sleep (he didn't tell anyone out of pure embarrassment)

- got heelies for Christmas once and smashed into someones car

- banned from driving , banned from the kitchen , infact don't even let him leave the house bc someones gonna die 😭😭

- as a kid he definitely lobbed a baseball at some kids head atleast once (perchance twice)

- doesn't care about gender dating wise (he has more important things to worry about)

- screams at kids in roblox vc

- he secretly enjoyed the movie la la land and still listens to the soundtrack when no ones around

[running-with-the-feels]

More headcanosn 🌝 perchance

Kuai Liang actually prefers hot chocolate to tea, because his mother used to make it for them all the time, though if that's not an option he'll usually go for a cinnamon tea, his mother's favorite.

Hanzo has no tea preference anymore, as he used to prefer it the way Harumi made it, but now can't stomach any tea bc it isn't hers. He tends to just stick to water, though Kuai Liang is trying to get him to try hot chocolate at least once.

Hanzo is a cuddler, whenever they are in bed together, without fail, Hanzo will end up wrapped around Kuai Liang like an octopus. Any attempts Kuai Liang makes to escape are futile (though secretly he doesn't try very hard, he thinks its nice to be held so tightly)

There are some rooms in the Lin Kuei temple that Kuai Liang can't go in without flinching, bc of what they were used for before he tok over, so Hanzo ended up enlisting Frost's help (bc she never left the Lin Kuei I refuse to acknowledge that part of canon, it's dumb and I hate it) in cleaning them out and redecorating them to be unrecognizable, which helped greatly.

Hanzo still has nightmares about the Netherrealm and Kuai Liang's ice is one of the few things that can pull him out of it as the cold is a reminder that he's not there anymore. Sometimes, when Kuai Liang is busy on a mission, Hanzo will just teleport to Arctika and sit outside in the snow until he calms down, it's not as good, but it's better than nothing.

After learning about what happened to Kuai Liang's family, Hanzo constructed a couple of graves for them on Shirai Ryu land so that Kuai Liang could have somewhere to mourn them. Kuai Liang had not wanted to bury his parents and sister on Lin Kuei grounds (though he didn't have their bodies even if he did) as the Lin Kuei were the ones to kill them (Except for his father, who was killed by a Shirai Ryu)

Hanzo eventually found Kuai Liang's childhood home and his mother's bakery, still standing and completely untouched. Their neighbors had refused to let anyone buy or enter it as a memorial to the family. The first time Kuai Liang sets foot in his childhood bedroom again, he cries.

Kuai Liang also still has nightmares about being a cyborg, and it takes hours to pull him back from them, usually requiring Hanzo to talk to him and have a lot of skin-to-skin contact to remind Kuai Liang that he's not made of metal anymore. After that, Kuai Liang tends to stay in bed for the rest of the day, so Frost and Hanzo usually take over training and running the clan until he's well again.

lemme know if y'all want any more, or if you want any of my headcanons for other charcters/relationships

[expired-monster-craft-smp]

Leon Kennedy headcanons part 2nd

- Due to the lack of control in his life, Leon seeks control in other things such as his diet, his daily routine, weekly schedule, and even what he buys

- Gets paid a lot since he works for the government but rarely uses it

- He literally lives in a shitty and small apartment that isn’t decorated and sleeps on a bare mattress on the floor

- Cannot relax like ever unless he’s alone in his apartment, but he’s close to relaxed if he’s alone with a trusted person like Chris, Claire, Jill, and Rebecca. Hunnigan would be included but they usually only meet to discuss a new mission for Leon

- Doesn’t listen to new music, but will listen to recommendations from friends and new releases from bands/artists he already listens to

- Bro canonically listens to dad rock and metal and was born in the late 70’s so his music taste can be…interesting

- I know a lot of people say that he would have one-night stands or whatever but not only is this man the most awkward person ever and Cannot Pull, he’s also severely paranoid and closed-off around unknown people, drunk and sober. He most likely doesn’t get any action whatsoever

- He’s super sweet towards kids. Just has the biggest soft spot for them and can’t stand to say no to them 99% of the time

- He gives off Midwest energy so bad, he probably spent a significant amount of his childhood living there (if we’re going off his original backstory n shit he probably got moved there while in foster care and remained in that area until he aged out)

- He can’t stand change (autism and desperation for control) and it’s why his hairstyle remains the same. It’s one of the few constants in his life and he physically cannot have his hair in any other style

- He’s an alcoholic in the sense that he’s almost always drinking. He doesn’t really do binge drinking, just a constant flow of alcohol in his system throughout the day

- Dissociates a lot. After Spain, he was stuck in a dissociative episode for over 3 months, just going on autopilot

- Prefers off-brand items over brand names, mostly due to growing up without a lot of money. It’s more comforting

- Hates being dirty or smelling bad. He showers religiously and throughly, always making sure to apply cologne afterwards even if he’s just going to bed

- No phone case. It would be helpful since he has pretty big hands and long fingers but he just lets his phone rawdog the world

- Leon is a trans man !! Government pays for his T shots and paid for his top surgery (though it was mostly so they could make Leon feel more indebted to them)

- Leon is just so extremely touch-starved it’s actually incredibly sad. Even if it’s just a medic touching him to patch him up, his skin prickles and his eyes sting

- Doesn’t mind sugary things, but if he’s going to drink soda, it has to be diet. He tends to stick with water and unsweetened juice, though

- If he’s going to use pet-names for someone (such as Chris perchance), he sticks with “baby”, “sweet thing”, “doll”, and “sweetheart”. He doesn’t usually use pet-names though, mostly because he thinks it sounds awkward coming from his mouth

Chreon stuff because homosexuality

- Leon absolutely adores hugging, snuggling, and cuddling with Chris. The man is bigger than him and makes the perfect pillow

- Finds it hot that Chris can easily manhandle him

- Favorite thing to do is cuddle with Chris on the couch or lay his head on Chris’ thighs or chest and watch movies with him

- Instead of rings, they have matching watches (canon)

- Leon can get needy and whiny when sleepy, especially after a mission, and will cling to Chris like a leech

- He feels comfortable and safe enough with Chris to relinquish control to him. He knows his husband will keep him safe and has his comfort in mind

- Claire had a fucking field day with them when she found out they were together. Literally got teased relentlessly, and she jokingly gave her blessing

- Leon found it amusing when she gave Chris the shovel talk, not him

- Leon teases Chris about his smoking habit but Chris never really does the same with Leon’s drinking, knowing it’s a sensitive subject and instead just makes sure his husband doesn’t drink too much

May post another part, who knows?