#and family is visiting all next week
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I was supposed to be writing today but I got stuck watching old Slimeriana clips because there's something wrong with me. Writing will have to wait I suppose
#thoughts#i do have another chapter ready to go i just want to write 2 more before i post it#for my sanity#also i work for a while#and family is visiting all next week#so i wont be able to get much done#we shall see
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Page 15, for the second time! Apologies to those that saw the version I posted last night with the typo. My days lately have been busy, so sometimes I feel a bit brain foggy. A couple of people left comments on either here or Twitter and it killed me to delete everything. ;_;
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#skylldraws#i’m still counting this as part of my holiday streak#i posted on Mother’s Day and the day before Memorial Day#then I posted this originally on father’s day only to take it down and post on Juneteenth#The holidays might be part of why I’m feeling so exhausted lately#i end up having to visit family which is draining because i have to be on guard the whole time#but!!#next week i have some days off#hubby and i are going away and I’m hoping I’ll be able to rejuvenate#cause right now my motivation is low#some nights i get to the point where i can finally sit down and relax and all i have the energy to do is stare at the wall lolol#or watch tv#i recently started watching Nana for the first time#anyway I’ve babbled enough#we bought a new mattress and it’s tall so i need to go set up a ramp so my tiny dog can get into bed on his own#happy pride everyone#I watched To Wong Foo for the first time the other week and adored it#also went to a drag show Saturday and it was great#okay I’ll shut up now#here are the obligatory tags#tododeku#tddk#tdiz#todoizu#bnha#bnha comic#tddk comic#tddk fanart#todoroki x midoriya#todoroki x deku
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....I will not elaborate *proceeds to elaborate in the tags*
#ash plays bg3#oc: ariadne trias-arendae#basically she's my most spoiled child and demanded i start a new playthrough for her with ALL the mods i'd tried and liked lately#anyways i'm gonna need something to concentrate on with my downtime over the next week#bc with family visiting...oh boy it's going to be a week#so...which one do you think i'll ultimately like more?#this year's big game that i thought was fun but ultimately disappointing#or last year's big game that i thought was fun but ultimately disappointing#(the fact that ari easily slides into bg3 whereas she doesn't belong in thedas at all probably answers that lol)
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i don’t know how to live in a world without my aunt. i… don’t.
#ooc. o kaptain.#[i feel like she’s my last tie to… everything. i feel like she’s the last tie i have to… myself. to my family. to my everything. i feel like#without her I’m… not even a whole human being. she’s my best friend. she’s been my lifelong best friend. she’s been my mom and my dad. she’s#all i have left. and without her…. I don’t know. I don’t know. I feel so fucking empty. when I adopt kids what do I have to give them? if I#get married who do I have…? what do I have to give at all and what do I have left?? I want to go home and hug my dogs. I want to just#disappear. I want everything to stop and I don’t know how to make that happen. everyone around me is just… telling happy stories about#places they’ve visited. weddings they’ve gone to. their grandkids. and I… I don’t know. this. this is what I’ve got. and I don’t… I don’t#even fucking know. I feel so empty. I feel so fucking empty. I need to take the next week off.]#negativity /#death /
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I'm being so serious rn if I ever talk about doing another fringe festival run in the next like 3 years at least send me to fucking therapy. It is a cry for help. This is bad for me.
#im over halfway at least. but fucking christ.#ive barely seen anyone i care about for weeks. im hardly sleeping. im in knee braces and im still in pain.#13 hours a day of people yelling at me. the busiest ive ever seen public transport. eating the most random sporadic shit.#no hobbies. very few friends or family. crying twice a day. i still havent been paid. binding!! binding 7am til midnight!!!! daily!!!!!#my whole body hurts im physically mentally emotionally exhausted im desperately lonely im not doing the things that make me feel fulfilled#when my loved ones are free im either working or passed out in pain and exhaustion#the boss is enabling all sorts of bullshit yet again#im not able to be a person anyone i care about deserves to know#and that makes me not want to know me either#that is at least when i have enough fractions of a spoon left to feel anything at all except upset or numb#i NEED this all to be over#my next free day is my sisters 21st birthday next month my fucking baby sister is turning 21 and i dont know what to get her#i dont have a brain im not being!! a person worth knowing!!!!#my gran fucking fell the other day she's hurt ive not visited her in ages bc of work and finance i want to see my wee gran i want#to buy her ice cream and tell her i love her#i had to clean up an old guy who smashed his face on the pavement today and im just putting That trauma off til at least mid September#my BEST FRIEND gets MARRIED next week#and i can barely think about it because im on empty#im on below empty#they deserve so much better from me#im out. im not doing this again. not like this.
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I haven't been involved with coaching for almost 3 months now and somehow I am still getting dragged into the drama.
#personal#move back to your small hometown they said#it'll be fun they said#me chanting over and over again:#if you live here you get to see your family all the time#(this is a good thing for me i love my brother and his family)#dude honestly this whole thing is just hilarious at this point#anyway newest drama is that one of the parents thinks it's suspicious that i 'quit' the same time my best friend moved away#the shit that is being said about us right now??? fucking wild#i haven't told any of those kids why i really left because they don't need me to be gossiping about their current coach to them#that would be so unprofessional of me#i say like she wasn't spreading rumors about me to THEM directly last year#we are all in our 30s here why are we acting like fucking teenagers still#i'm about to be real petty when i go visit next week though#'oh my god you won't believe what i heard crystal is telling people at her salon'#to the coach not the kids lol#i have a sneaking suspicion that the she is involved in this gossip in an adjacent way not directly#and i want her to think about the shit she says before she says it#she's mad that i don't want to coach jv when i told her multiple times i don't want to run my own program#and that i'd be happy to help her out as an assistant coach but that having to deal with parents is my worst actual nightmare#see what's happening right now#literally the only reason i applied is because i love those kids and they were all freaking out about my friend leaving#because they thought their current coach was also going to be leaving#and i was like hey i won't leave you guys don't worry#it's her fault that she chose not to include me in any of her brainstorming for next year#if she really wanted me to be involved she would have been talking to me about it back in april#i'm literally barely pulling myself out of my grief hole about losing coaching#and i could have stayed around but i would have been miserable#because it wouldn't have been in the capacity that i really wanted#oof okay i feel a little better after venting a bit
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hiii!!!!! for the hc ask game: 🧸 A headcanon about their childhood for muu, and maybe 💔 An angsty headcanon for any prisoner (or prisoners) of your choice? your writing is AMAZING btw, i really adore it
AH thank you so much!! I'm glad you're enjoying :D These were interesting ones to think about, ty! The ideas themselves are simple, I'm just long-winded, sorry 😭
🧸I like to think that Muu was just as shy/unwilling to leave her comfort zone as a kid, despite doing a lot of activities with her parents. This, combined with her parents giving her whatever dolls she asked for, results in her clinging to those for support. She has names and personalities for dozens of dolls, and talks to them all the time. She has one in particular she carries around everywhere she goes when she gets scared. The habit lasts a bit into her older years, but she's so downright cute that it only ever earns her doting instead of scolding.
💔 Immediately following the T2 attacks, I feel like Mahiru’s condition is bad enough that Shidou warna everyone there's a high chance she won't make it through the night. There's a solemn, grieving silence as everyone prepares themselves for another death. Shidou is wracked with guilt because he doesn't know if he can save her. Fuuta is dealing with his own injuries, but he and Amane get a kind of survivor's guilt that it could have easily been them on their deathbed. (And now with canon support) Kotoko didn't mean to kill anyone, just rough them up, so she's haunted by guilt/panic that she tries to cover up with a brave face. Kazui takes it the hardest, nearly breaking down in his cell because he blames himself for not getting to her in time.
#milgram#muu kusunoki#mahiru shiina#shidou kirisaki#kazui mukuhara#kotoko yuzuhira#fuuta kajiyama#amane momose#i know muu mentions having a lot of friends in her interrogation questions but this still stands to me#she would still need to face a lot on her own (surrounded by only adults)#so she could still get very attached to her dolls#i cant decide of shes a stuffed animal girl#or the type to have a little girl doll who she does her hair and gets matching outfits and all that#you all decide and tell me what you think 🤔#and yeah i think especially if kazui was a cop hed take it really hard that he didn't protect mahiru#im pretty sure kotoko has specifically said she has the intent to kill 🙃 but for now i like to think she wasnt going for all that#i need deep cover to come out so i can finally get into her head for t2...#gonna be traveling/visiting family tomorrow into next week :]#i hope it means more writing time but who knows with my family adfgvhh#im almost done with my next request (amane my beloved :'))#and then i want to do the purge march section for 'lights camera sing your sins' hehe#thats enough rambling rip -- goodnight 🌙👍#but thank you sm for the request!! it was so fun to think about >:3#headcanon time milgram
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i have been going through an unfathomably (for me! from in my shoes!) difficult time in my personal life - worse than what i’ve mentioned in passing on these sites before - so please forgive me if i’m a little bit inconsistent with posting things i owe, but even more so with keeping up with messages.
i’m sort of leaning on this account and this character for support, so this isn’t an announcement of inactivity - more so of gravitating toward what engages me most at any given moment. once things calm down, my attention will even out.
thanks to everyone for being here. really. i’m glad anyone at all has interest because i know how niche and how dark this whole thing is, but you’ve all been wonderful. it’s so nice to feel this again.
#out.#won’t go into much detail but my family - mother and brother - and i were pulled over by bored cops last week#just for being out late at night. sober. playing pokemon#and have since had all of our registrations suspended; as well as my mom’s license#for a mixup by the dmv!#we won’t have a legally drivable vehicle until june. and my mom’s mom is#very unwell - requires visiting at a moment’s notice#my license is fine but my registration is not so we are all trapped#and that’s just the CAR drama#this might qualify as ‘much detail’ but i wanted to make it very clear we are Boring and did nothing to warrant this#i can’t even leave my family’s house to get to my apartment 😔#police tomorrow. court next week. and this on top of absurd work deadlines#and illness
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had quite the night drive earlier this evening.
#just me rambling again#web weaving#(?)#uh. one of my friends who is out of town for college was visiting and i got to see him and our friends and the only core member of that#group of people missing was my ex girlfriend who you may also know of as my wonderful wife#who has I assume been very busy with their own life things but has also barely and very sparsely had any hint of communication with any of#us within the past few months which I've been realizing very recently sort of hurts my feelings because we used to be so close and#they had been saying that they would be constantly making sure we still were in each other's lives. but then very quickly have#seemingly dropped off the face of the earth#anyways. I was driving aforementioned friend who is in town back home (family home not college obv) and when i was finally going back#towards my house afterwards my Google maps finally lead me to an area that i was more familiar with driving and i got to an#intersection and it was telling me to take a right to go home but i knew that i knew the way perfectly from that intersection to my#ex girlfriend / best friend / wifes familys house from all of the times I've gone that direction through the past years and so#i turned off my directions and i took a left towards their house#not super sure why but my brain and body just knew it was something i needed to do and so i went and drove down their street and cried#a lot the whole time and then drove myself home from their house once again following a super familiar path#and idk im still feeling very emotional about it. the fact that halloween by noah kahan was the first song to play on Spotify#after i made that left turn im sure didnt help (knowing that i miss them so much and am going to be leaving this area myself#soon enough here and there's been an open offer for a while now that they are welcome to follow and live with me once they get their degree#(and also um. halloween is next week lol)#idk i just havent felt the full force of how badly i miss having them in my life until tonight. when i was around this person i could feel#our souls singing in harmony. i genuinely cannot describe the feelings of our relationship in words i feel like only vaguely abstract art#could communicate the connection that was forged between us and the level of understanding and knowing#something not dissimilar to looking into the sun directly or trying to describe a vivid color to someone who is completely blind#something about the way the entire universe breathes in unison and everything around us are all pieces of the same stars#sigh#i miss my wife tails i miss her a lot /ref
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Currently in god’s most awkward situation somebody save me
#extremely bad period cramps and nausea on day two of a visit#from my grandma who I do not know really at all#but ofc she thinks we are very close#already strange to navigate#and my parents acting wayyyyy over the top abt the whole things#understandably to compensate for the years long silence her and us#and my car is undriveable until probably next week#like bro I just want to go home and like eat crackers and watch a movie u til my ‘stomach bug’ goes away#but that would not be received well and would also be logistically weird bc no car (and I’m at work)#so nothing horrible going on but#still a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation lol#hopefully will feel better tomorrow and then I can just have the weird family stuff to deal with until Saturday
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mini life update in the tags bc i need somewhere 2 rant < 3
#u can ignore but!#in the process of secretly prepping to cut my mum off bc shes got total financial control over me (im 26)#i got a lot of money when i was 18 from an accident n shes basically in control of my assets bc she made it that wah#*way#if that makes sense#like i can only access my money if i go to the bank with her. she lives in a house i boyght her free of charge#sje bullied me into biying another house in wales so she can rent it out as a holidah home n use it as a free holiday spot n said i would#get an income from it but shes given me nothing in the 4/5 yrs weve had it#she put her name on the deeds to all my assets#so i have money but it is inaccessible#i need some bc i need to fund my phd next year but sje wont help me#anyways! thats lowkey besides the point#my dads got a brain tumor n my mum doesnt know i still see my dad bc she thinks i havent spoke to him since je left like 3 yrs ago#but i helped hjm leave bc she was abusing him n had been since i was like 9#n now im stressed out bc my dads not well and i feel like um running out of time with him#but hes in the hospital at the minute after having a siezure a few weeks after his brain surgery#so ive visited him like 3 days in a row n he remarried this year and my stepmum/sisters are so nice#its like having a real family#and it makes me feel guilty yo say that abt my mum n sister#like the guilt of havi g a bad parent is so real tonight fellas im just gonna sit n cry for a few dags#tbd.#if u read this far i love u .. whats hr zodiac#but yeah! this is why im so inactive#n bc im doi g my masters degree but . that pales in comparison rn
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Ugh I was excited for today until I found out I'd have to spend it with people that actively make me hate being alive hate the future and drain me off all energy physically mentally spiritually like a vampire I can't stand to be around her she is the definition of stupidity and even then that's generous as fuck this bitch has filled her brain with so much garbage I watch her brain cells die at alarming rates every single time she uses her vocal cords her giggles make me want to jam a sewing needle into my ear repeatedly so I can never have to hear it again its a friendly reminder that my parents decisions this time my dad's constantly makes me want to die
#i cant even shes just so dangerously stupid#she thinks energy drinks with natural caffeine are safe to give people who have been told by doctor doing take caffeine with thia meds#ahe thinks of a child is CHOCKING to lie them face down n rub their back#she has the evangelical woman voice worse then women I've met n that cult ahe giggles constantly and behaves like the stereotype lil german#boy just got a lollipop over.... everyone and everything whe acts likw an 11 year old I just got the first boyfriend and all they could talk#is how perfect their boyfriend is and they're so pretty good for that I pulled a boyfriend is and it's like a God thing that they met how#SOOOOOOOOOO in love while constantly nonstop touching ahe has to be touching him her hand on his thigh her atm linked with his her heaf on#his chest she has to be in her lap they make out all over the place IT'S DISGUSTING AND EMBARRASSING STOP SWAPPING SPIT#she started a i. hwr words 'love diary of their love journey' they hadn't been dateing 2 months her kids are spoiled fake Instagram bitches#with such shitty views on politics SHE'S A TRUMP FAN GIRL SHENLOVES TRUMP MY DAD BROUGHT IN A TRUMPIE#there's so much i cant even say because even admitting it on tumblr is too embarrassing i wanted.to.likw her i liked her the first day but#THE MORE I GET TO KNOW GET THE MORE N MORE N MISS RED FKAGS#she threw away all my siblings clothes school books toys uniforms for sports their in toys i bought them that week make up jewelry#in the disguise of helping clean house#while i was at the hospital the kids call me in tears i call her beg her to wait and nope.ahe didn't i found the bags by the curb i brought#my dad sided with hwr because 'she didn't mean any harm she didn't know sje was throwing them away'#my mom hasn't bsen dead a year he started dating right after ahe died#hes talking about marrying this woman this woman who has never had an honest educated thought once in her life#WHO ASLO SPEMDA MONEY LIKE A DRUNKEN SAILOR AHE CAME FROM A WITCH FAMILY HER LAST TWO HUSBANDA WERE TOUCH SHE HAS NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE COMMON#SHE SPENDS LIKE SHE STILL HAS MONEY WHEN SHE DOSE NOT AND IT'S LIKE YOU DID NOT JUST SPEND OVER 180 DOLLARS N PASTRIES GOD#SHES SO FUCKIN STUPID AND EVERY HOLIDAY SINCE MY MOM DIED WVERY FAMILY GWT TOGETHER BECAUSE WE DON'T TALK OR.DO ANYTHING WITH MOM'S SIDE#OF THE FAMILY ANYMORE SHE'S THERE EVERY WINGLE MOTHER FUCKIN WEEKEND SHES HERE I'M EXHAUSTED SHES PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY DRAINING TO BE ARO#OUND SHES LIKE IF SOMEONE TOOK A GOLDEN RETRIEVER ON A DIET OF JUST FUCKIN COCAINE LITTLE GERMAN BOY WITH LOLLY AND CRUELLA DEVILLE AND FUSE#THEN TOOK A STRAW AND DRANK ALL THE SMARTS OUT OF THAT BEING#UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGH MY DADS GOIN TO NARRY RHIA BITCH SHES GOIN TO TRY TO BE A MOTHER TO ME AND MY SIBLINGS AND THEY'RE GOIN TO#be so fucked up because her kids are not ok SHE FUCKED THEM OVER BAD SHE HAS FOUR KIDS ALL ADULTS THEY'RE JUST WOW#I HATE MY LIFE I HATE WHAY FUTURE MY FAMILY IS GOIN TO BE THE GOOD THINGS IS I WON'T HAVE TO STAY I CAN GO N MAKE A NEW ONE WITH MY WIFE#FOR ME BUT MY SIBLINGS ARE FUCKED AND ANYTIME I WANT TO VISIT MY FAMILY YANDERE GOLDEN RETRIEVER BITCH WILL BE THERE WORMING HWR WAY IN#SHES CONSTANTLY CALLING N TEXTING MY DAD NONSTOP OF SHE'S NOT NEXT TO HIM AND IF HE CAN'T RESPOND INSTANT SHE FREAKS OUT N BUGS ME
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i think being back on the vitamin d is working. i did a BUNCH of chores today and we had extra time after dnd so i worked on my sewing project for the first time in a few months.
#a win for not laying in bed all saturday and jerking off? incredible#country wasn't happy about all the chores though#almost at the point with my laundry where there's none on the floor anymore! like 2 more loads#dishes are still a problem#i have family visiting next week so i'm taking friday off to clean up a bunch
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play space
if you've ever seen my lp's (which feels like back in the day, now) then you might be saying... fallon? fallon fallon? fallon carter, fallon? #TheCarterFive fallon? more like the carter seven now, but yes. that fallon. #TheChaoticCarters
the carters are coming to dosr. *air horns*
if you don't know, now you knowwww.
that damn isabelle. can there really be love without chaos? not in family dynamics.
the bambinos are grownnnn now. 😭
like, grown grown. 😭😭😭😭
big sis approves, lil reese. big sis approves.
big sis (and would be heir) got her a bheeda.
and a baby. hey, midwife! see you soon, girl.
#we're jumping between households#lauren and ashley's#i interchange between lotus lauren and lo all the time#forgive me#im probably the only one excited for this family dynamics and dosr crossover#but i missed them#and adding their timelines together blended so perfectly its scary#like ahhhh#we may visit reese jr next week while i work on yet another build after these posts run out soon#lauren lotus crenshaw#syx banks#dosr#degrees of separation: reloaded#the carters also got dosr ccified#that was a long memory lane#but it updates on enough of family dynamics for us to move on to reese jr next for a brief spell#dosr: its getting real
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it's actually really amazing how SO MANY OF MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS KEEP GETTING THEMSELVES INTO NATURAL DISASTERS RECENTLY??? like bro i've barely even left the house this summer why are all yall out in the world like this gettin in trouble
#this is about:#-my aunt and uncle in baja california weathering the hurricane and trying to make sure border crossings arent closed#-my other aunt driving back into southern california (where she lives) right now & the hurricane and the flood risk of her area specificall#also the fact that she almost went on a vacation that got cancelled bc of wildfires....so instead shes. driving into hurricane. GIRL#-and let's not forget: MY BEST FRIEND SOMEHOW BEING ON MAUI VISITING HER FAMILY THERE DURING THE FIRES?????#they had to evacuate and it burned houses like on the next street over i think but missed their street (thank god)#ANYWAY. ALL MY FAMILY + FRIENDS ARE FINE BUT LIKE. YALL ARE GIVING ME GRAY HAIRS IT'S BEEN LIKE TWO WEEKS
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Having little nephews is having them scream-sing happy birthday to you over the phone and then when your sister asks them how old they think you are, one says a-million-and-six and the other says fifteen 😂
#also they're visiting again soon for school holidays#and then i'm flying to them a couple of weeks later for the next round of court hearings#and i need recs for good trashy reality shows#siesta key has gotten my sister and me through the interim hearings the lawyer meetings the child impact + family reports#AND my ex bil getting his former mistress / current gf pregnant when he and my sister aren't yet divorced#so y'know#it's all been eventful#but we need a new unwind garbage reality show for after the kids go to bed because we finished it </3#also the 5yo wants me to go to the paw patrol movie with them when they're here in 2 weeks and i don't know if i'm ready for that experienc
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