#and can probably provide context for how i'm going to be writing her

[windvexer]

Theme and Action: a tarot method for brainstorming plots, setting, and characters

I find a lot of story brainstorming spreads to be clunky and rigid, so I did a little experimenting and came up with a method I like a lot. I haven't done a ton of testing yet but I thought I'd share what I have.

Basically, it's a two card draw from a deck split into majors and minors. Each draw always has one major card (theme) and one minor card (action).

When you have a question, like:

What are some ideas for the next scene?

Why would that character behave that way?

What's the defining characteristic of this vampire clan?

What do the people in this society fear most?

Why is this scene dragging?

What does this character need to feel more real?

You would draw one major card and one minor card!

Themes and Action; what it's about vs how it manifests

We could call these cards a bunch of different things depending on exactly how the question is framed, but Themes and Action are good enough.

Basically, the major arcana card gives subtext or context, and the minor arcana card provides specific incidents. Like this!:

"In my vampire setting, what is the most important thing in vampire culture?"

Theme: Death

Action: 10/Pentacles

Interpretation: (Theme) The most important thing in vampire culture is the process of dying and the equalizer of death itself. (Action) This has resulted in cultural rituals where death is treated as a sacred adoption or initiation into a new family/estate.

(I really drew this test spread and it really was death lol)

We can swap out the Action card to see a different outcome:

Theme: Death

Action: 5/Swords

Interpretation: (Theme) the most important thing in vampire culture is the process of dying and the equalizer of death itself. (Action) the horror of death and loss has never been overcome in this society, and it must be dealt with as an individual - because vampires process the pain of their own deaths by taking it out on each other.

Here's a different example. In an urban fantasy book where a witch solves ghost mysteries, pacing is dragging and we need our next scene to be exciting. But despite a foot chase after a suspected ghost poacher, the scene doesn't feel fast paced or exciting. The question is, "how do we spice this up?"

Theme: Hermit

Action: King of Cups

Interpretation: (Theme) instead of a crowded street, the character will be isolated and without normal support. (Action) she'll be trapped in a closed space with the story's main villain, who most closely connects with the King of Cups

Another swap, this time switching out the theme card:

Theme: Empress

Action: King of Cups

Interpretation: (Theme) the scene feels boring because it's action without development. Show the main character's personal development and give her a 'level up' moment. (Action) have the ghost poacher lead her to a premature showdown with the main villain, whom she faces bravely for the first time.

This is already long so I'm not going to go on and on with examples but so far I've found this method to be pretty versatile.

Try interpreting Theme and Action as literally as you can within the context of the story!

If you're writing a story about a flower princess who sleeps on a dewdrop in the mystical Gnarlwood Forest, the Sun card will mean one thing.

If you're writing a story about vampires, the Sun card probably means something very different.

Major arcanas can be literary themes, like the moon representing deceit within society, but they can also be literal; in a werewolf story, the Moon card might represent the celestial body that controls the lives of certain people.

The most important thing for me is to avoid interpreting the cards in a general self-help sense.

The cheerful villagers of prosperous Splitsky Castle are waiting for you to invent a festival so a mysterious stranger can come to town and get the plot going.

The question is, "what kind of festival gives me the right setup to pull off the plot point I want?"

The theme card is the Magician, so ideas for the festival could be:

A festival honoring magic users (if they exist in your setting)

A festival honoring the resourcefulness of the villagers

A festival of stage magic and trickery

The action card is the 6/Cups.

Probably, the festival is not about healing your inner child with Jungian shadow work. More contextual ideas might include:

A festival where children are chosen to be trained in magic

A festival celebrating teaching the next generation important skills

A festival meant to delight and entertain children with stage magic

Developing related factions or foils

Draw a major arcana card to identify a certain Theme, maybe along the lines of:

What do they hold to be sacred?

What do they not care about, or hate?

What is their most cherished virtue?

What is the defining feature of leadership?

When they sing about home, what is in their songs?

This theme will be the same for both entities.

Draw different minor arcana cards to show how each entity expresses that theme.

Conversely, work in the opposite direction: keep the minor arcana card for both entities, and swap out the theme card.

Finding Action cards when you know the Theme

Holding the deck so that it's facing you, thumb through the cards until you find the major arcana card that describes your theme. The most recent minor arcana card that was on top of it, even if separated by other majors, is the action card.

Reversals

I tend to read both cards as upright and reversed, and just apply whatever meanings are most relevant. In my experiments using reversals ended up being too finicky and specific, and limited my creativity.

Complex Concepts and Plots

For a complex reading, like plotting an entire novel or building an entire character, I have found more utility in doing many pair readings rather than doing one large spread with many pairs.

My tests so far have suggested that the most creative freedom is found in asking specific questions, like "what is this character's driving motivation," and "what is her quirky hobby," and "what makes her put up with her annoying best friend," rather than trying to build a giant spread that includes all of these things at once.

As a caveat, in plot spreads, I will sometimes put pairs down without returning them to the deck, and then connect Theme/Action pairs with single action cards to suggest events that connect the dots.

[heavenlymorals]

Hi! I really enjoy your posts and I was hoping to see if you can answer this question for me. I want to write an Arthur x reader fic, but I want to try writing a more canon Arthur instead of a fanon Arthur. So if you're able to, what do you think Arthur would be like as husband or partner? Thank you! 🩵🩵

Arthur as a Husband (Arthur x Fem! Reader)

Thank you so much ❤️ I'm glad you like my posts, that makes me happy ❤️❤️

And boy, that's kinda a loaded question considering how vast the Arthur x Reader side of the fandom is, so this might be a bit controversial but here we go:

Also, these are all of my thoughts based on my past posts on Arthur. None of them are actually canon as far as I know nor am I presenting them to be canon. These are all just my thoughts based on what I've noticed in the game.

I genuinely think that Arthur would be a great husband BUT he'd be a great husband in the context of the 1800s.

He would never lay his hands on you. He would never disrespect you. Any man try to do anything to you, Arthur would go ballistic. He'd always defend his wife from disrespect. He would always carry your luggage. He would always be a gentleman and assist you in getting on a horse or a wagon. He'd make sure you're comfortable in any way he can. He would never want you to over exert yourself. He would love you to the point of devotion and given how his devotion works for the gang, it'd be priceless. He'd make sure to treat you to the fullest on every date. He'd want to impress you. He would love you most ardently and most fully. If he had sons, he'd make sure to always set a good example on how men should treat their wives/partners.

Very sweet, I know, but again- this is in the context of the 1800s.

I think Arthur, give his attitudes regarding gender roles, would be suited with a woman who believes in the same thing, which given the time period wasn't rare.

Arthur would protect, provide, and do all the traditional things that men were expected to do and he'd do them well enough to where you would never have to worry about things like money, protection, or him taking care of you and honoring you. He'd love you to devotion.

But where he'd do a man's duty, he'd expect you to do the woman's duty, and just how he'd love you to devotion, he'd expect the same. He would never let you do "men's work" if he can help it, unless y'all are living in a super tough environment where you would need to help him here and there, but he'd still do the vast majority of the hard work, and he'd expect a clean place to live, food, and all that domestic stuff from you. If the both of you are able to connect with that dynamic, than Arthur would honestly be a phenomenal husband. He'd be the model husband in the traditional relationship.

I also think respect would be a big thing too. You'd probably both tease each other and love it, but there has to be respect and understanding otherwise he would go off. Note how quick he was able to go off and raise his voice at Mary when she started disrespecting his life style yet chooses to want to use the skills he attained from that lifestyle to help her with her father. He also does it in public where everyone could hear and he only stops when he sees that it was deeply distressing to Mary after she asks him to be kind to her. I realized pretty quick that Arthur is not as patient or pacified as John when Abigail chews into him.

However, I also think he'd be very understanding and open minded to you if you seriously want to talk to him. Communication would be key between both of you and he'd try to understand your thoughts as best as he can and try to make you happy if he could, but again, he'd also expect the same of you.

It's a two way street in different ways. That's the best way I can put it. He'd love you to devotion, given that both of you are comfortable and happy with that traditional dynamic. Arthur would protect you, provide for you, make sure you are always comfortable and never destitute, and in return, he'd expect you to be there for him.

Hope you enjoyed that ❤️ And again, these are just my thoughts based on what I've noticed in canon. Happy writing! ❤️❤️❤️

[tallerthantale]

Neil and Amanda's Fake Therapist

I originally gathered information relating to Neil's fake therapist in a bit of a messy hyperfocus flurry that included some initial errors, followed by various erratic updates, so I wanted to put the main points together into one coherent place. Some of what I'm putting together here was found by others on the subreddit post.

I once again find myself skirting the edges of my typical rules for myself about analyzing public figures, so disclaimer: this is personal opinion, I'm not scientifically or clinically evaluating anyone based off public appearances / statements, I am commenting on what personal impression I am getting off things, and leaving most speculation about internal states out.

Man does this guy make it hard to stick to that though.

The person I'm talking about here is the supposed 'therapist' that Scarlett interacted with while Neil was (allegedly) pressuring her to say the allegations weren't true. His behavior there (with a paper trail according to Tortoise), and what I was able to gather from Amanda Palmer's podcast made it clear to me that he was not operating within the acceptable behaviour of a therapist, so I decided to see if I could prompt a review of his license. All indications at this time are that he does not have one. But it gets worse.

He claims to be a minister, but like the therapist claim cites no qualifications or organizations in his website's bio. This combination of therapist who isn't a therapist and minister who isn't a minister potentially creates a legal nightmare scenario. I am not a lawyer, this is not legal advice, but I'm going to give you my best estimate of the situation, which has involved looking up the law and reading some cases.

As long as he isn't claiming to be a mental health professional, he may be protected in calling himself a nonspecific 'therapist.' He can probably argue it as some kind of spiritual therapy. But because he isn't actually a mental health care provider, he is not subject to mandatory reporting. Generally therapists have a legal obligation to proactively report when someone is a danger to themselves or others. He does not have that requirement. He isn't bound by professional ethics, since he is not a member of any organizations and has no licenses. Moreover, it seems to be the case in New Mexico that if a person reasonably believes you to be a minister, that kicks in clergy-penitent privilege whether or not you actually are a minister.

The origin concept of clergy-penitent privilege is that the law cannot force a priest to reveal what was said to them in confession. The First Amendment means all religions get it equally and it doesn't have to be part of a specific Catholic ritual. In New Mexico, it covers anything that was not said publicly or intended to be passed on regardless of the surrounding context. That means anything said to or by this guy that is not said in public or explicitly intended to be forwarded cannot be used by the legal system for any purpose, no matter how documented or incriminating it is to the client or to him personally. There is no mechanism to remove that privilege form him for being misused because it is derived from his representation of himself as a minister, not his actual status.

According to his linkdin he received a Bachelors degree in creative writing from the University of Rochester, in New York. He then got a Masters degree in Divinity in Organizations from Harvard Divinity School, 1982-1985. These are the only points of education claimed anywhere we have seen. He lists no psychology or mental health qualification anywhere, and is most known as an author. His bookselling success might be due to a claimed promotional appearance on Oprah.

His personal webpage has a long 'client list' or list of 'collaborators' who have hosted speaking engagements. This list was last updated in 2012. The events on his calendar page have no year. I think I recall seeing a section of his website that was only accessible to those who were 'fully committed,' or something like that, but it doesn't seem to be there now. It's possible I'm misremembering, it's possible it got taken down when the reddit thread got popular, I don't have the right skillset to check. He won an award from the Institute of Noetic Sciences, which looks to be engaging in pseudo scientific spirituality in a manner similar to Scientology.

From what I can gather from the video's I've watched, the advice he 'preaches' is a mish mash of bits and pieces of metaphors and perspectives from a variety of religions and philosophies that he probably didn't fully understand. (My speculation.) There are pieces of genuine insight that are lifted from others and that can give the impression he knows what he is talking about to vulnerable people even if he doesn't really understand them himself. He doesn't seem to have any genuine religious beliefs or connections to any religious congregation or organizations. It is unclear if he is or is not technically ordained, but that is something anyone can just do online, and he doesn't even claim it.

Particularly noticeable in his talks are traces of Jungian psychoanalysis (which is the nonsense Jordan Peterson seems to have got caught up in, and it has antisemitic and fascist origins) some Buddhist resilience concepts that have been misused by westerners a lot, and Christian (I think) concepts about universal love and togetherness. They end up mashed together into a message that I believe will influence most victims who hear it to blame themselves and remain in toxic situations, while making perpetrators feel better about continuing to perpetrate. Not saying that was the goal, but if a person had that goal, this patchwork philosophy is what you would put together to achieve it. I'm not going to be specific because I don't want to be like, putting out a guide for people on how to do this.

Amanda says she met the guy before she had a child, but after she was married. That is somewhere between 2011 and 2015. Amanda says she met him at something resembling a TED conference, where all sorts of people got together to do various (rich people nonsense.) She had a mental breakdown in a horse paddock, and the fake therapist was the guy with the horse, teaching about horse whispering.

"And since then, he’s been my therapist, and he’s also become a true friend, to me, and to my family, and to many other people in my life that he’s taken on, and helped out, in some of their darkest hours of need, and he is my emergency phone call. And in a way, he sort of picked up where Anthony, my old mentor, left off, and I don’t find it a coincidence that Wayne walked into my life right around the time Anthony walked out. "

This is not what a therapist does, this is cult leader behaviour. This is pure speculation on my part, but I wonder if Neil might have known him first and orchestrated their meeting. He is an author with connections to an organization similar to Scientology. It might actually not be a coincidence. Again, pure speculation.

Amanda describes seeking advice from him whenever she was having trouble with Neil, and that talking to him would make her feel like everything was fine again. "Even just to have someone to talk to, to remind me what I’m struggling with, what’s going on, what is home, why does this feel so disorienting, what am I doing? And I can say right now, when I shifted my internal feeling within myself, within my relationship with Neil, around where I was, my feeling in my own house transformed. Because I went, oh, right, none of this fucking matters."

In June 2019 Amanda Palmer has the Portland, OR incident where she tells her fans they need to forgive their r@#ists.

In 2019 the fake therapist did a series of webcasts with The Santa Fe Center for Spiritual Healing over a few months. At times he is titled "Rvrd", and at times he is titled "Dr." there is no reason to believe he is either. In the first one, the host reads a bio she found online, that she says he asked her not to read (she appears to think he was being humble.) This version of the bio claims that he was a Senior Scholar at the Fetzer Institute. When he comes on after she read it, he makes odd comments about whoever might be watching the video online and appears very shaken. The Fetzer Institute has no mention of him on their website. That connection is not listed in his current bio.

In his last video for the Santa Fe Center he claims to be working on an upcoming project in D.C. with a co-facilitator who was famous for brokering a truce between the crips and bloods. He also comes across like he has been asked to stop working with the center and is being super passive aggressive about it. (My speculation.)

His appearance on Amanda Palmer's podcast is recorded in July 2019, about a month after the last Santa Fe Center webcast, in upstate New York. In the descriptor she says it was recorded after a week long retreat with him she set up for 60 of her Patrion supporters. There is a nearly two year gap between the recording and posting, which is not explained. She describes him as a minister, therapist, leadership mentor, and her personal therapist. In the episode itself, she also describes him as her and Neil's relationship therapist. In the description she promotes his books and his website, and says he is still readily contactable there, but to be patient right now because he is mid move. (The description was posted when the podcast was posted, in 2021. As mentioned earlier, there are features of his website that have not been updated since 2012.)

The fake therapist tweeted about Neil being a 'dear friend' in late 2020. He has under 100 followers, not really what you would expect for a best selling author / therapist / minister / community leader / mentor / horse whisper. While I make references to cult leader behaviour, a genuine cult leader would probably have a larger following. But somehow I don't think he lacks for money. I expect there is a market for pseudo-therapists you can freely talk to about the crimes you are actively committing. You can even involve him in the crime, and it still privileged.

The events of Scarlett's allegations date to 2022, about a year after Amanda posted the podcast episode. Sometime in March is when Neil manipulates Scarlett into saying the allegations are false with what is essentially a su!c!de threat, then asks her to repeat her assurances that it was consensual to the fake therapist. Amanda had recently received a scorching message from one of Scarlett's friends about what was done to her. It seems like Neil is doing this to win a fight with Amanda in their "relationship therapy." Scarlett gets a message from the fake therapist.

Tortoise describes it as him "saying he'd be happy to speak to her in complete confidence because he had heard that she found herself in his words 'in the midst of relationships, stories and narratives, not alas necessarily of your own making. Sadly, this is not a surprise. Two creative dynamic people can easily draw others into their orbit unaware of how powerfully the magnetic pull of their influences can have on others.'"

My perception of this message is that it plants the suggestion to Scarlett that her friends are brainwashing her to think she was r@ped by pulling her into 'narratives not of her own making.' I could see how people might interpret the later lines regarding magnetic pull as being about accidental power dynamics abuse, but I read it more as him saying Scarlett's friends are opportunistic manipulators looking to make a name for themselves by taking down a famous person.

Either way, there are a considerable number of things happening there that an actual therapist would not ever do, for a variety of very good reasons. Tortoise's attempt to call him to ask for comment was thwarted by the fact that his phone has been specifically programed not to accept voicemails. Not like, the voicemail box was full or something, he went out of his way to do that. Which means Tortoise can't quite claim that he didn't respond to requests to comment, because they couldn't leave a message. Other organizations probably run into similar difficulties establishing evidence that they have contacted him. It's not a smoking gun, but I don't like it.

A year later Amanda Palmer makes her post on the Russel Brand allegations, where she argues the solution to serial predatory behaviour is to try to get them to stop doing "stupid shit" by trying to heal their lacking and fear with love and compassion and forgiveness, because that the ONLY cause / motivation for abusive behavior. And some unarticulated hope for non-specific accountability vibes.

This post looks to me like the perspective of a person who has been continuously exploited, and manipulated into thinking it is their personal responsibility to heal people who have no interest in being healed. It reads to me like a person who has been justifying staying in a toxic situation to themself so long it has warped their entire worldview. It reads to me like the inevitable end result of this fake therapists preaching.

I don't think that absolves her of what ever her role has been in facilitating access to victims, or actively promoting these views to her audience, but it is something to keep in mind.

There is a broad rage of possibilities for what is going on with this guy. The spectrum runs from deeply misguided fool to deliberately exploitative criminal. Either way it looks like he is charging people money for the service of turning them into the "this is fine" dog. This is not fine. This is not ok. Unfortunately it probably is legal.

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 171 spoilers and thoughts but i'm mostly just going "YAY I LIKED THIS MOMENT" and more below the cut

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DEMON KING LLOYD HELLO. HELLO?? WHAT. WHY?? BUT WOW. HOLY SHIT. I REALLY REALLY LIKE THIS

I LOVE WHEN CHARACTERS GAIN WINGS AND HORNS AND . GHGHHGHGHHG AAAHHH ITS MY FAVORITE THING if you didn't already know dragon lloyd was like one of my favorite all-time panels so this is VERY AWESOME FOR ME YAYYY YAAAAYYY HAHAHA

LIKE SERIOUSLY LOOK HE GOT FANGS N SHIT AND. OH MY GODD THE SMOKE SLIPPING PAST HIS LIPS IM SO??? THAT'S SO COOL. I LOVE WHEN THEY DO THAT WITH SMOKE AND MONSTROUS FORMS OF CHARACTERS

genuinely i need to draw this asap. pacing issues aside i am obsessed with how sick this is. i love this a LOT

ok ok back to the top bc theres some stuff i wanna touch on from before demon king lloyd got revealed! because...

"master lloyd taught us". "master lloyd taught us". "master lloyd taught us". "master lloyd taught us".

EXCUSE ME WHAT

YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT OFF SCREEN, LLOYD TOOK TIME OUT OF HIS BUSY ASS DAY. TO TEACH THE KIDS HOW TO PLAY SOCCER. AND THEY HAVE PLAYED ENOUGH TO BE FAMILIAR ENOUGH TO PLAY ON THEIR OWN. WHICH MEANS THAT LLOYD . PLAYED SOCCER WITH THEM . AND WE FIND THIS OUT. NOW?? I. GGHH. THATS SO. CUTE. IM GOING TO BITE HIM. THE FUCKER. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

the fact that they go up to ask him im going to EXPLODE?!?!?

he looks so nonchalant abt it here im cryinf

AND LOOK AT THEM GO THIS IS SO SO SWEET IM VERY GLAD LYRA GOT TO PLAY WITH THEM I LIKE THIS A LOT

this scene, and the beginning scene where the adults were just so casual with her and treating her as a living person with feelings and someone that they can talk to was so so heartwarming i oooghhh my heart

AND THEN THERE HE IS. SMILING IN THE BACK. YOU ASS.

I SEE YOU BEING KIND AND EMPATHETIC AND SELFLESS LLOYD. YOU LOST THE NONCHALANT WAR. YOU CAN'T ESCAPE

christ. i fucking HATE him /j /aff

it is also VERY silly that they're so casual abt. destruction like that HELPPP they got it from someone sob sob, though i imagine since most of the estate consists of people who have done construction it probably isnt that big of a deal when things get destroyed every now n then

and lyra looks so damn happy,,, god im so glad she had a good experience, she really needed one :')

also i completely LOST it when the kid got mad at lyra for not responding with a yes or no HELPPP JESUS CHRIST

again they,,, got it from someone HAHA though honestly i think it tracks. kids can be straightforwardly brutal in their language, especially when they don't really have biases or cares for who they are speaking to. as crazy as this instance looks (LMFAO) i think this fits well with the context of the straightforwardness of children and considering the person who they look up to at the estate. i think it was good for lyra to meet a human child her age who can speak straightforwardly and not skirt past things, if that makes sense? i hope it does!

AND THE DEMON KING TRANSFORMATION i already talked abt it above but i wanna point out this blue system box here

a power outside of the system?!?? what does this mean for the protagonist of the new prequel bk_moon is writing?? is the weather forecasting included in this???

my first assumption right now is that the demon king power is just an in-world power system while everything else (ie the weather forecasting) is external, blue-textbox system. maybe? so lloyd got the demon king power which comes with skills separate from the ones that the system can provide? that would explain why there's no indication of lloyd trying to use the weather forecasting, he probably can't use it,,,? except i dont know why artanis can use it in that case. most likely i am overthinking it LMFAO

semi-related, i am a little confused as to why artanis did this? i guess she really, really trusted him w this power? or maybe her weather forecasting noted that this would be something good to do i have no idea,,, it Does feel a bit sudden i won't lie, i'm not sure how earned this is

also javier and everyone else not reacting that much to the demon king status. SENT ME HAHA "... nothing's changed." LOL

deadpan humor never fails to make me giggle ily javier

also loved the moment where the two of them were bein serious for a sec,,, they've got a job to do they've got people to protect. lloyd will stop fate and javier will be right besides him...

i think showing them at emily's wedding really cements how much they really, REALLY need to fight fate now. the novel events happening is very very bad, but it feels like now that so many people, emily especially, have found THIS much happiness in their lives,,, failing to stop fate will hit even harder. i really like the analogy of a taut bow that the dragon king used when he first described it, bc it's really REALLY showing how much the repercussions will hit if they fail. im praying they succeed,,, please,,, i need a happy ending or i will curl up and turn into an actual shrimp irl.

and now the demons have to build the pantara railroad,,, artanis's expression omfg

she really didn't,,, know,,, she trusted him that much,,,, girl,,,

but it's ok. it'll be a net positive trust! that's how lloyd does things!!! and then soon we'll get the happy ending where we can get the eye of summer and beat up fate and then silly fun times YAYY <- probably copium

some other thoughts of note that i had with a dear mutual (hi sprout :3) about this ep:

we were talking about how the plot seems to be paced right now, and honestly i'm of the opinion that while yes its Technically moving, the way they're ending each ep in this current arc makes it feel like it's going both very slow and very fast, that is to say it feels like it's not moving at all

bc they're like "okay NOW we're gonna do the build project" and it's been like that for several episodes now. pieces are moving but we're going past the point of it all too fast (especially the whole demon king thing. mentioned this before but while cool, doesn't feel as earned simply bc we're both tackling each point and yet blowing past all the points, so it's a lot less satisfying than it should be (despite how awesome it is,,, oh lloyd you give me so much internal conflict </3))

it does make me a lil worried that they're gonna timeskip the hell out of the pantara railroad build. however this episode, although it still has a weird pacing/movement issue, does feel a little bit better than the last two imo, so i have hope that it'll turn out okay, that it'll start heading up! i'm actually really excited to see where they go with this and i'm sure that even if the pacing is still goofy i'll have some kind of fun with it (seriously the panels this ep were wonderful HAHA)

anyway that's all for this week! extremely excited for the next ep,,, ill see yall then,,, lets go pantara railroad arc!!!

[sayakxmi]

I finally got myself together to finish the trolltags/lands I have for the dancestors, that I overthought to hell and back, so why not share. Explanations under the cut!

(Also, I probably should mention that it's all in context of an AU, so if some things are confusing, that's why.)

KANKRI:

vendicateThumomacule [VT] Kankri's original trolltag is, well, grey to hide his indentity, and is actually a small nod to John/June. Hence the letters are VT, absolutely taken from VanTas. Mostly, because ectoBiologist has EB like EgBert. You know how these letters are taken from the genetic code, but John/June ended up breaking from it? Well, Kankri's the opposite here. The very first mutation, someone who didn't belong there, but inserted himself there anyway.

Vendicate means to claim for oneself, whereas Thumomacule comes from two words - thumomancy (divination by means of one’s own soul) and macule, which can be either a) (in printing) to blur, as from a double impression in printing, or b) (in anatomy) another name for macula (a discolored spot on the skin). The second definition refers to his mutation, while the first, I'm kind of thinking about blur/double impression as a reference to The Signless, and seeing visions of another world. Personally, I love the idea that Kankri's always had these visions as well, so that's what I was going for here.

As for constructiveGrievance, I'll be honest, I've seen it once upon a time, I don't know where, and internalized it as his trolltag. He has a lot of grievances, and tries to be constructive about it. (Whether he succeeds is up for debate, lmao).

As for his land, the Land of Conduits and Valves: Conduit: - a pipe or passage for water or electrical wires to go through - reference to Mituna (as I am a huge Captor&Vantas whatever the fuck they have going on enjoyer) - a way of connecting two places - the aspect of Blood - someone or something that provides a way of passing something such as information or payments from one person to another - role of a Seer, but also a small reference to The Signless again, passing information about different worlds between each other Valves - a device that opens and closes to control the flow of liquids or gasses, or a similar structure in the heart and the veins that controls the flow of blood - pretty obvious aspect connection.

In general, thinking about the Seers' lands, they all have somewhat... liquidy feel to it. Rose's has literal rain, while Terezi's land has these thought river-like things on the sky. So I was also thinking about something fluid, and, well, blood.

Kankri's land is pretty similar to Dave's, except there's no cogs or lava, only endless red-and-blue pipelines that are meant to let the blood flow, but the valves aren't letting it, and empty void beneath your feet. It's an extremly unpleasant land.

It's a bit of a theme, actually, that the lands are pretty hostile towards their players here - since the game was tampered wth, Skaia knew early on that this session had no chance at succeeding, so it was quite literally trying to get the players to make The Scratch faster. F.

It's actually quite evident since the get-go, Kankri's land is LOCAV. So. Random fact: I'm Polish. In Polish the way you read V in English is the same as we read W. So I could write it as CAW. A sound made by a crow. And, well. One Crow: bad luck, loss, unpleasant catastrophic changes.

From the very moment Kankri got into the game, it was already lost. RIP.

Also, I've meant what I've said. I aggressively overthought it, lmao.

DAMARA:

acroamaticAcicutie Acroamatic - esoteric - “intended for or likely to be understood by only a small number of people with a specialized knowledge or interest” - I was thinking about her ability to speak & control ghosts, a medium, but, yeah, honestly, it can also allude to the fact that as far as we know only Rufioh actually understands her speech. Acicula - One of the needlelike or bristlelike spines or prickles of some animals and plants; also, a needlelike crystal. Connected with cutie.

Land of Ponds and Shimmer, well, when it comes to Shimmer I was thinking about light reflecting on crystals, since her Scratch device looked like these music boxes on Aradia's land, so there had to be Some crystals in there. But it can also be the shimmer of the ponds. With ponds, I was kind of thinking about koi ponds? Who's stopping me from there being koi fish, tbh. The ponds are also a reference to Meenah, because, well, water. But also small one to Rufioh, I guess. Also, ponds and reflections (When will my reflection show who I am inside).

In general, Witches lands are, imo, pretty, colorful, and dangerous if you aren't careful. And that's also what I thought about Damara's land - looks very pleasant, but crystals can have some sharp edges, ponds be deeper that it has any reason to etc, etc.

But since all their lands make things difficult for the dancestors, the catch of this one is that it makes Damara homesick. :)

Ah, but here's my favorite part. PAS. Pas is Polish for fold in poker. "Folding simply means to let go of your cards and surrender the pot to another player". Or another set of players. ;>

RUFIOH

agromaniacalTauroboly Agromania - intense desire to be in open spaces Tauroboly - the ritual sacrifice of a bull. I like to think about is as a contrast to Tavros' trolltag, in which Tavros is a bit more of plot’s sacrificial bull, but his trolltag relates to bulls fighting, whereas Rufioh would wreck people’s shit if it wasn’t for his non-existent self-worth & confidence, but his trolltag relates to sacrificing a bull.

The Land of Breeze and Hills has a somewhat simple etymology. All the Breath player we know had some specific type of wind in their land's name (literally Wind for John/June, and Zephyr for Tavros), so I went with something similar. And boy oh boy, is Breeze a reference. Obviously, Breeze relates to water, and that way it references three pretty important gals in Rufioh/The Summoner's life - Damara (ponds), Meenah (a seadweller), and Aranea, or more specifically Mindfang, who was a pirate. As for Hills, Rogues tend to have some rises, like Roxy's pyramids, or Nepeta's... sugar cube pyramids? So I thought about hills for Rufioh to more or less fit it in, very much thinking about"a hill to die on".

BAH is kind of weaker, but at the same time, it gave me some ideas for the land. In several languages it means flood, but in a few others it's an expression of disbelief, disdain, resignation & scorn.

LOBAH is flooded, which is a huge pain for Rufioh, whose wings aren't really good for damp environments. His mobility sure is limited, which kind of sucks. He could probably ask some imps to help him out in travel, but that'd mean using his powers, and he's not a big fan of them. }:(

MITUNA

technicolorAlytarch Technicolor - a vivid or bright color “Alytarch in ancient Olympic games was the leader of the police force who assisted the Hellanodikai to impose fines on athletes who did not follow the rules” "Hellanodikai - literally meaning Judges of the Greeks - were the judges of the Ancient Olympic Games, and the success of the games was attributed to their efforts". I like the idea of it referring to more than one character, but ofc I thought of Latula first.

Land of Screens and Skyscrapers Skyscrapers as in heights & danger, at least that’s my association. Something about falls, especially when you're very high... Screening - concealing, protecting, sheltering. But also screening, as in “checking for disease when there are no symptoms. Since screening may find diseases at an early stage, there may be a better chance of curing the disease”. Also, fun fact, SAS is a group of highly trained British soldiers who work on secret or very difficult military operations. SAS is an abbreviation for 'Special Air Service'.” I wonder if it's relevant.

Heirs' lands tend to be really dark for some reason, but it's a bit difficul to say if it's a theme for them, because Equius' aspect is literally Void, so of course his land is dark. But I went for it. I'd say LOSAS resembles Dirk's land a bit, but there's also a shitton of giant screens on the building, all of them not working properly. The land is dangerous in it's nature, and generally not the most pleasant place to be in (ah, Doom players), but it sure gets worse after Mituna's accident, now that he has trouble seeing, and his balance also got quite bad. F.

MEULIN

acuteCardiograper Acute: - causes severe problems or damage; - pain or illness is one that quickly becomes very severe; - aware of or able to recognize small differences between things, or being accurate in judging something; The first two are more foreshadowing, whereas the last one is the actual intent. Since she's an amazing matchmaker whose speciality is the Hreat. Cardiography - the use of a machine to record the beating of the heart. So. You know. Hehe. Meulin's trolltag is an ad. Bonus a cute cardiographer.

Land of Lily Pads and Wisps Lily Pads are literally there in Openbound, but also I like the general symbolism of lilies - purity, innocence and rebirth. I think it describes Meulin very well. Wisps - of smoke, of light, but also will o' the wisp - a person that is difficult or impossible to reach or catch on (OR aurora). Of course even Meulin can't have nice things. Her land mocks her for being "useless". (Note: I'm not saying that she is, but that's how she feels). LOLPAW is not exactly deep.

PORRIM

gallivantAvantgarde Gallivant - to visit or go to a lot of different places, enjoying yourself and not worrying about other things you should be doing. Avantgarde - the painters, writers, musicians, and other artists whose ideas, styles, and methods are very original or modern in comparison to the period in which they live, or the work of these artists. Porrim's attitude, essentially.

Land of Threads and Frogs Threads like fabric, but also thread/fabric of the universe Also thread as in “to move forwards, often changing direction in order to avoid people or things”. Which is, well, what she was supposed to do. Another land that isn't exactly dangerous, but feels more like a mockery. Cluttered, soft & pastel. You could say ""girly"". She hates it here.

Maid's lands are pretty nice, though they tend to lack the aspect the Maid is supposed to create, at least that's what I've understood.

TAF - a substance, consisting of protein and nucleic acid developed in a malignant tumor, that stimulates the formation of capillaries for nourishing the tumor and carrying off its waste matter. A connection to Kankri, and especially The Dolorosa's role in The Signless' life.

LATULA

I'll be honest, I'm not exactly the proudest of hers, but this grl was giving me a headache at some point. Mostly when it comes to her trolltag, because I like the name of her land, but oh well. I was tired.

galiantCaballerial Galiant - “Galiant is a mixture of two words; Valiant (Possessing Courage and Determination), and Gallant (Grand, Fine). This is what you call someone who excels at anything they play, mainly videogames.” Urban Dictionary. I'm not sure it's the most believable source, but you know what, why not. If it's not really a thing, what's stopping me from headcanoning that it is on Beforus? Or add a small backstory that Liltula found that term & loved it, used for his trolltag & only later found out it's not a real thing. Now she's living a lie. Caballerial - a trick invented by Steve Caballero in the early 1980s in which the skater performs a 360-degree ollie in a ramp while riding fakie and without grabbing.

Land of Smoke and Mirrors Smoke and Mirrors - the obscuring or embellishing of the truth of a situation with misleading or irrelevant information. Other than the obvious, it's not a big discovery that the Knights' lands are filled with danger and even things they personally hate & fear. Mirrors for somebody as self-conscious and obsessed over her presentation? And also smoke. There might be fire somewhere, but she can't smell it, she won't know she's in danger until she gets closer to it. F. No cool meaning for SAM :(

ARANEA

amasthenicGraphomaniac Graphomania - a compulsive urge to write Amasthenic - uniting the rays of light into one focus, as a certain kind of lens does (in photography)

Land of Swirls and Candles Swirls - I was thinking about the weather, so connection to Breath, but also whirlpools, so connection to water. Extreme weather. Hella important in sailing. Etc. Also swirls & cherubs. Candles - light. Quite simple. LOSAC is essentially a gorgeous dark forest lit by candles, and Aranea is blind as shit in there. Did I mention that Skaia doesn't want them to keep going? :) Other than that: - Candle Queen by GUMI is such an Aranea song, you won't tell me otherwise. - one of the definitions of a SAC is "a covering that surrounds a tumor" i WoNdEr If It'S rElEvAnT

HORUSS

compoundTegument Tegument - natural covering of an animal or plant body Compound: - a thing that is composed of two or more separate elements; a mixture - make (something bad) worse; intensify the negative aspects of But Also - compound bow - A hand-drawn, hand-held bow that for similar poundage at full draw, stores more energy than a recurve bow through the use of two cables and two eccentric wheels

Land of Copper and Bolts Copper can be used in making steam engines. “Brown coins of low value made of copper or bronze”. And making electrical wires. “any of various small widely distributed butterflies of the genera Lycaena, Heodes, etc, typically having reddish-brown wings: family Lycaenidae” h u h Can mean “policeman”... Law reinforcement… Executioners… HMM. Bolts - well, bolts, but also arrowheads (in crossbows), also to quickly escape, and also (lightning)bolt, also A bolt is also a part of a gun that pushes the cartridge (= container filled with explosive powder) into position to be fired - I wonder if it its *gets shot* CAB - besides the obvious - “the enclosed compartment of a lorry, locomotive, crane, etc, from which it is driven or operated” - trains. steam. it’s all coming together “the glass-enclosed area of an airport control tower in which the controllers are stationed” listen, it works for me, but I can’t explain Why “first cab off the rank” - the first person, etc, to do or take advantage of something - like. the first person to take advantage of somebody’s malleable and passive personality…?

Steampunk land. What can I say. Downside: them damn bolts everywhere. You can hurt yourself :<

KURLOZ

tumultuousCaduceator Tumultuous - chaotic or disorderly; full of noise, commotion, or turbulence. Caduceator - herald; messenger Also similar to Caduceus (prolly related), so a relation to Mituna who is a Gemini - Gemini is ruled by Mercury (Hermes’ Roman name, the Caduceus belonged to him) So it’s a mixed bag of relations to others: tumultuous is a relation to Caliborn (there’s even a wholeass Sign of the Tumultuous - Caniborn). Herald/messenger is akin to Kankri’s role of a prophet. Except he’s heralding Lord English’s arrival rather than another Signless’. And, well, the Mituna connection. It’s also a Doom connection, lmao.

Land of Pits and Thrills You have this huge never-ending theme park with random pits where you least expect them, cartoonish experience. In general, Princes' lands tend to be extremely dangerous in ways that relate to their aspects, and, well, cartoon-like traps break the immersion a bit, really makes you think about everything being fake. Plus a theme park doesmake one think about the HS clowns a bit, right? Another one of my faves, PAT means a stalemate in Polish - a situation in chess where one of the players can’t move according to the rules, but their king isn’t in check - it ends the game in a draw. Technically, they haven't lost, and yet they cannot progress :o)

CRONUS

corbanAlluvion Corban - offering to God in fulfillment of a vow / kinda thinking abt it regarding Cronus wanting to fulfill his “destiny” Allivion - effect of water impacting on shoreline (eg. deluge) Was I tempted for Cronus to have his trolltag as cronusAmpora? Yes. Absolutely. But in the end I decided to pretend that I Am A Serious Writer.

Land of Tides and Rows Tidal island - a piece of land that is connected to the mainland by a natural or man-made causeway that is exposed at low tide and submerged at high tide Also changing tides. Row - well, rowing, so water travel. This land looks quite nice on the first glance, but once you start to travel you find out, that the further you go, the darker and more dangerous it becomes. Oh no. Also, the water is definitely tainted. TAR - a dark, thick flammable liquid distilled from wood or coal, consisting of a mixture of hydrocarbons, resins, alcohols, and other compounds. It is used in road-making and for coating and preserving timber. But also as a verb: blame or damage the reputation of (someone).

MEENAH

cerescentConqueror Conqueror - obvious Cerescent - a typo she didn’t care to correct; crescent is a phase of the moon (halfmoon); Ceres is a roman goddess of harvest etc.

Land of Passages and Harvest Passages as literal passages, but also in: passage of time, or passing = death, so a relation to Damara. And Harvest is, well, harvest. In general, the only other Thief we have is Vriska, and her land is essentially "things that help in stealing her aspect" and "something that represents her aspect". In this case, then, you need to let the time pass for harvest to begin. Also, I love the idea that all Life Players have some representation of the other players on their planet, just like Jane's lamps. In this case, Meenah has flowers. I have yet to finish it, but I did assign some already. PAH - used to express disgust or contempt. Aka Meenah's reaction when she first saw her bright colorful land full of flowers.

Final notes: - ok, so, the idea for LOLPAW, Thrills in Kurloz's land & Avantgarde for Porrim's trolltag are from kanmeu, Caballerial is 100% an accident, though, when I've found that word I thought it looked familiar, and Oh. - I might fix the formatting tomorrow, idk, but it sure ain't gonna be now.

[craycray-wolf]

*I*

Would like to make fanfiction of Minecraft Story Mode 😎

I plan on writing my own ideas as well as my version of events/own twist on the game's story itself! By this I mean the choices I like to make and adding some of my own events as well. I know these are common I just think I personally have something to offer! Plus the more preservation of the game's overall story we have the better ^_^ I love these games so much and I don't ever want them to die!

Then of course I have my own original stories for MCSM, it's just that my version of the games' stories provide context.

(Also it's probably going to be rated teen/PG13 and possibly even mature for some chapters, though for the latter I'm going to try to make them not necessary for the story when I can! I know the game itself is E10+ and meant for a general audience but I'm too much of a freak tbh. I like making intense content)

I plan on making 3 different universes:

Red Suspenders Jesse (and Jesskas) <= currently working on this one

Red hairclip Jesse (and Jesstra)

Red pants/peach sus Jesse (Jerkesse. No hate to any Jesse variants- I love them all!)

I also have a few short stories about red sus already written that I plan to integrate into the greater narrative once it's done. I have them already published on Wattpad and plan to publish them on AO3 and Fanfiction too.

Now this is gonna take a while to write so uh- feel free to ask any questions! I'm also going to share some tidbits about each universe real quick below.

SPOILER WARNINGS FOR BOTH SEASONS JUST IN CASE 🚨🚨🚨

You have been warned! I highly recommend experiencing the game for yourself if possible or watching a playthrough!

Okay let's experience a sampling of my chaotic brainrot!

Red sus: This Jesse is the most cinnamon roll of the 3 Jesses, but he's still savage as that is a classic Jesse trait. He's also the most honest of the 3, his mindset here is probably best encapsulated by the phrase "honesty is the best policy." He tends to relate more to Olivia than Axel, but he deeply loves them both. He takes Hadrian's deal without hesitation.

Jesse particularly likes the Ender Defender armor and uses it during S1. He also thought the best way to keep Magnus' armor would be to care for it and it not be damaged. He decides to branch out in S2 and wear the Shield of Infinity armor, then Please Don't Hit Me. He takes Romeo back with them home with no hesitation, even if he's p.o.'ed at the man. He told Petra he'd be right beside her as she found herself at the cabin, and follows through on his promise once Beacontown is rebuilt and stable enough (and he works on some personal business). He turns down Stella's offer as he thinks Lluna and her are meant to be.

During their travels, Jesse realizes how much he missed animal companionship due to Lluna. He keeps an eye out for his new companion, and comes across a bat in a cherry grove. The Order had troubles with bats previously whereas now they're turning over a new leaf. This new friend symbolizes new beginnings. Because of this and the fact that she was found in a cherry blossom biome, Jesse names the bat "Bloom." I love Bloom so much y'all. I hope you will too 😊

Red hairclip: She's less optimistic than red sus Jesse, but still a fair amount so. This Jesse still appreciates truthfulness but it's not a core feature she has or one she seeks like red sus Jess. She's less trusting than red sus Jesse so she doesn't take Hadrian's deal (though she's willing to sacrifice herself for her loved ones no question).

She thinks the best way to keep the armor is to wear it, killing the Witherstorm in honor of Ellegaard. Briefly before their Portal adventures though she tries wearing the Dragonsbane armor and falls in love. In S2 she wears Star Shield and Golden Apple.

Since Jesse chose to leave Nurm behind she has a stronger bond with Lluna, and takes Stella up on her offer to keep the fashionable llama. She is torn between adventuring with Petra and staying to keep leading her beloved town. She ultimately stays in Beacontown, at least for quite a while. That is until Jesse realizes how much she loves Petra and goes out to search for her.

Red pants/peach sus: And then there's THIS asshole. Tbh he's not as developed as the other two yet, but he's not the funnest guy to be around. He still cares on some level for his friends, but he sees them more as a means to an end. He's incredibly selfish and egotistical, soaking up all the glory from his "heroism". All of his actions are motivated by things that'd benefit him. Therefore he sure as heck doesn't take Hadrian's deal.

Not sure whether he takes Magnus' or Ellegaard's armor. S2 he wears Tim's armor because you know. Fancy and diamonds and stuff. He gets no 2nd animal sidekick, he didn't treat the first one right!

Also here, a link to my fanart of the New Order (S1 style) thx: https://www.tumblr.com/craycray-wolf/736076088473731072/these-dorks-in-my-artstyle-i-love-them-too-much?source=share

Thanks for reading Fam! It's been lit.

[dreamerdrop]

Saw your Abscess-verse timeline and now I'm very curious if you have any thoughts on what an 'If Wishes Were Horses' AU for it would look like 🧐

Oooh, I’ve been puzzling over that episode for a while now, lol.

I’m kind of torn, between there’s so many ways it could go in this ‘verse. Like, if Julian imagines Sloan, is there even anything I can do with that? Not REALLY, not unless I specifically want to write a threesome lmao, so what else can we do with it…

If he still imagines Jadzia, that gives me a couple problems. While it would obviously trigger Sloans’ jealous nature, and it would provide a good context for Sloan in guilting Julian into distancing himself from her more. HOWEVER. As far as this ‘verse goes, Sloan doesn’t really see Jadzia as much of a threat. He doesn’t think she reciprocates ANYTHING for Julian, but her friendship with him is something he dislikes… I mean, she’s a threat because she’s smart and competent and a nice person and she likes Julian as a friend, so if she notices that anything is up with Sloan and how he treats Julian, she’d intervene, yes, but…

At this stage, Sloan is still largely playing “good boyfriend”, and while he does want to create distance between Julian and everyone else for possessive personal reasons, he doesn’t actually think Julian having FRIENDS is a big problem right now, because he hasn’t done anything that he thinks would cause them to dislike him, so it’s not like he’s pulling Julian away from everyone else on a CONSCIOUS level.

On the other hand, Sloan is already annoyed by Julian’s relationship with Garak, since he perceives it as being MUTUAL. I mean, he’d have to be blind to not recognise that Julian and Garak are both attracted to each other, and that does piss Sloan off, because that’s a direct threat to his relationship with Julian, and he’s not really a sharing kind of guy.

And well, he probably does try to be cool about it most of the time, he doesn’t fully freak out over their relationship until Cardassians and he thinks that there’s absolutely gotta be something up with how ridiculously calm Julian is about having Garak in his bedroom in the middle of the night. (And his jealousy and conviction that Julian is cheating on him with Garak is indeed entirely genuine, he really does believe that, and it obviously does not make any of it better.)

So I can’t really have him imagine Garak either, because that would throw the rest of the timeline off lmao.

I could take a page from some other rewrites of the episode, and consider that because Sloan has been filling Julian’s head with weird hypotheticals about how many lives are worth losing for the sake of the greater good and Julian does (I think?) have a stated focus on pediatrics, that y’know, maybe he’s preoccupied with his own childhood that day, and in a striking horror of bad luck, he accidentally manifests a version of Jules, which causes all kinds of awful problems.

And that could slot in to Sloan’s suspicions about Julian having a deep dark secret that Sloan wants to find out for totally benign reasons… (I mean, he isn’t deliberately PLANNING to use it as a threat or blackmail or anything, he just wants to be close to his partner, y’know? And sharing secrets is part of being close to your partner and trusting them, that’s all.)

But, gah. That would involve rewriting massive, massive chunks from the episode entirely, and it would be annoyingly convulted and complicated, and it would feel kinda forced to me, like I would feel as though I were actively shoving a confrontation in where it doesn’t quite belong, instead of letting things flow more organically…

So I feel like it WOULD end up being Jadzia he imagines, as per canon, but that the atmosphere of that is changed radically instead. Julian is guilty and nervous because, well, he kind of feels like he’s sort of cheating on Sloan by imagining these things, and Sloan is ALSO one of the senior staff that gets called to Ops for that episode, so he gets to SEE Julian with an imaginary and agressively overtly sexual Jadzia hanging off him and—

Oooh, wait, wait. That version of Jadzia is pretty much constantly refusing to take no for an answer from Julian too… Sloan might well take that as implied permission to be more and more forceful because hey, apparently Julian is into that stuff, right?

Jadzia’s responses would probably be different, but not by a lot. I think she would think it’s a funny thing to tease Julian about, but she’d also be a little put off by Sloan being so agitated by it… which would contribute to her guilt later on about not realizing sooner that something was wrong in that relationship…

… There’s also the potential for what someone like Sloan would imagine as well, which quite frankly, I think if one of Sloan’s fantasies came to life, it would be, idk, something like Julian with a puppy tail butt plug in a leash and muzzle and cock cage on his knees in Sloans’ quarters, desperate to hump his masters leg.

Nobody would ever find out about that one, of course, because Sloan has SOME dignity and he’s a little in denial that he even has those kinks to begin with, so Imaginary Puppy Boy Julian stays locked in his quarters all day, and Sloan is little disappointed he’s gone by the end of it, because having had to spend the whole day watching Julian with an imaginary Jadzia slobbering all over him, he was kinda hoping he could work out some of his frustrations on the Puppy Julian instead.

It’s fine, though, since Julian clearly WANTS someone to force themselves on him, he’ll just give Julian what they both want anyway. :D

[genericpuff]

Does anyone else wish that more Hades x Persephone stories made use of Despoina, the daughter of Demeter and Poseidon? Some accounts have her as a goddess of winter and it would have been interesting to see how that would have played out.

So I actually have a lot of thoughts on this and it goes beyond Despoina a little bit, but bear with me here because I still think it's worth talking about. Note that I'm obviously not an authoritative figure on this topic, this is simply my two cents based on the research I've done on Despoina, the Eleusinian Mysteries, and the context of The Hymn to Demeter as a whole.

Frankly, I think the reason that the modern retellings of Hades and Persephone don't make more use of Despoina is because we still don't really know a lot about her. Even in my own research of her, from what I've gathered (i.e. I could totally be wrong on this so if I am please send me resources if you have them!!!) the claim that she was the 'goddess of winter' is pretty much on the same level as claiming there's source material about Persephone going down to the Underworld willingly - i.e. it seems like something someone said maybe 20-30 years ago and people just kind of went "yep, that's canon!" and claiming there were sources surrounding it while never actually being able to provide those sources... probably because they don't exist.

In reality we don't know much about Despoina - and thus she tends to not be depicted in these modern retellings - because she's affiliated with The Eleusinian Mysteries which are, well... a mystery! The Mysteries itself was an initiation process for a cult dedicated to Demeter and Persephone, the members within were sworn to secrecy so all of the writings we have about it are pretty minimal and theoretical aside from knowing for a fact they were associated with Demeter, Persephone, and Hecate (and in some versions, Aphrodite). So unless someone who was actually there is able to appear and tell us what the actual fuck was going on behind closed doors, all we have are the word of mouth stories and depictions told through Greek poets such as Callimachus.

By extension, we don't know all that much about Despoina who was strongly connected to the Mysteries. We know she was the offspring of Poseidon and Demeter, we sort of know she's an actual tangible goddess but there are also other works that claim "Despoine" was simply a title within the Mysteries (as it means "the mistress") used to describe certain goddesses such as Persephone, but when it comes to her as a goddess affiliated with winter specifically, really she seems to only be mentioned as a consequential footnote in Demeter's search for Kore (which led to the drought / winter season) and frankly from what I can glean, I think that's the only real 'connection' there is that people tend to conflate as "goddess of winter", because she was born the same time Demeter would have started winter.

But why would there be a goddess of winter, really? In the Mediterranean where it doesn't traditionally snow aside from on mountaintops and at higher altitudes? It does get colder, yes, but Mediterranean winters still tend to be mild and wet, you wouldn't find blistering cold "Canadian" winters in Athens as we imagine them to be when we think of Demeter and the creation of the seasons. Even the notion that Demeter used winter to kill the mortals is told in such a manner to describe the seasons but they don't necessarily mean snow literally, they mean drought, the lack of summer harvest, when Greece would go through periods of drought where harvests were minimal and mortals were at a higher risk of starvation. Remember that these myths still come from a specific regional context so what we call 'winter' isn't precisely the same as what Ancient Greek poets like Homer called 'winter'.

If there was a goddess of winter, it would technically be Demeter, but again, not exactly because it's more the absence of the Mediterranean heat and sun needed to grow the plants they traditionally consumed. The closest thing we know to be a "goddess of winter/snow/frost" with actual text and sources is Khione, a mountain nymph whose name literally translates to 'snow' due to snow being more common in, you guessed it, the mountains of Greece.

Anyways, I'm digressing now, but my point is that a lot of modern retellings frankly struggle to depict Despoina because there just isn't enough on her to know who she was like we have with Demeter and Persephone. She was an enigmatic figure spoken of within cults that kept their information behind closed doors. And a lot of the research that is out there is muddied with made-up headcanon stuff. None of this is to be argumentative, but I did want to talk about it because in all my readings of Despoina (which there are , again, not a lot of!) there just doesn't seem to be anything backing up the claims that she's the goddess of winter and frost, it seems to all just be "well I read it somewhere" only for that 'somewhere' to be a poorly-made Wiki page with no scholarly sources or references, Tumblr posts that also don't have scholarly sources (or are using sources from those aforementioned Wiki pages), or to just not exist, period.

But hey, I'm very aware I could be entirely off base on this; again, if there's actual writings about her being the goddess of winter that I've missed, please by all means send them my way. I'm just really struggling to pull up anything tangible that has her cited as such that isn't rooted in modern day hearsay or fanfiction.

[beryllineart]

How2Draw Comics: Story

Last time we learned about conceptualizing our characters, settings, art style, etc. Now we actually have to put our characters in a situation, drive them from point A to point B through a story.

There are many different ways to do this. I'm assuming you have, if not an outlined story, a situation you want your character to experience. If you don't have a story, make your character order pizza but something happens and they have to rescue the pizza (and the delivery guy, I guess.) The first method I'll discuss is my least favorite- the Script Method.

You write a script for your story, listing pages and panels as you go along. I hate this. It feels too limiting, and panels are actually one of the most limiting and intimidating things to a beginner comic artist. Yet most tutorials encourage you to draw your panels first and then squish or stretch your drawings to fit, and that's what the Script Method is based off of. I draw my panels while I do my drawings, or even after I do them.

If pacing your comics is one of the most difficult things for you (what size do I make my panels? Is there too much dialogue on this page?) then I suggest the Storytelling Method.

You do not have to make a full short story or book. Usually I just say something like, "boy is making cake. girl walks up behind him and hugs him, kissing his floury cheek. she walks away, licking her finger. she has stolen some cake batter and he didn't notice." In my head I can see a more detailed story there, but you can tell a story without a bunch of flowery prose.

You may be wondering how this helps with pacing your comics. Well, I have actions associated with dialogue, meaning I know which drawings will have which dialogue, automatically creating a nice balance. Additionally, I know what to prioritize. I know that the panel introducing the manor will be large, because I used the words "large and imposing" to describe it. I know that when I set the ballroom scene in this story, I also need to set the scene in an establishing shot. And I know that I'm going to have Bernice's appearance on the food table be surprising, taking place after she tugs his shirt or something. (This will probably make more sense once I actually make the comic)

The final method is a very flexible one for those who aren't into words and just want to draw- the Children's Book Method.

This particular example is mind-mapping, but you can also do a more organized version by storyboarding (placing each drawing in a square and giving a short description for context). I call these collectively the Children's Book Method because the basic idea is that you don't repeat your drawings like you would in a comic. Instead, you draw those things that feel the most interesting and most dynamic, the things that are most important. (like keyframes in an animation) Children's books illustrate one scene at a time, providing context for many different moments in one picture (and some text). They are less sequential than a comic because they only have one picture per page.

I usually have a mix of the storytelling method and the storyboarding end of children's book method. And usually I tell myself a story only in my head, without writing it out, because that's all I need. And I'll admit, sometimes the stories play out in my head like a movie, which is probably why the script method works for people. Sometimes you don't know which is the most effective way to tell yourself a story until you try to draw the comic and see what is giving you the most trouble.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask me! I know I'm kind of rambly and don't make much sense, so if you need clarification or other tips, I'll do my best to help.

Next is Panels and Pacing: Drawing the Comic (which will probably happen in multiple posts, but this art block will make it nigh impossible for a while, why doesn't it just go away?)

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Isn’t tsams Eclipse related to tsams Sun ?!?!

They're technically not related.

I kinda like to say that they're not for situations like this.

Eclipse is basically all of the Violent thoughts and Impulses of Moon, spawned from the Killcode housed inside them.

It's a little tricky and I'm not sure what you would call it.

Like would you call your "Bloodlust" or your "anger" or your "abandonment issues" given life Related to you????

Like??? It's a hard thing to think about. Cause you don't think of your Emotions as being things with sentience or are related to you.

What muddies the matter is that Sun and Moon are robots and it all comes down to code.

Technically, Eclipse is Sun and Moon's SON. Sun and Moon are his Mom/Dad if you want to get EXTREMELY technical about it. Which also is probably NOT the dynamic Eclipse would pick for himself, and Defiantly not the dynamic that Sun and Moon would want to think about, because Sun and Moon have admitted themselves to be brothers by their own definition of their relationship.

Even Lunar (when Eclipse and him got along) joked that Eclipse was technically his Mom, cause Eclipse Made him.

Bloodmoon Referred to Killcode, Eclipse, and Monty all as Father at one point or another. (if tsams says that Bloodmoon needs no one... that's a blatant lie and he inherited Eclipse's isolation. he only gets himself, so having the duality of their relationship helps)

Solar is a Nice Eclipse from a different dimension, who has no connections to Our TSAMS Sun and Moon at all. Yet, he told Earth that she can call him "her cousin" if she wishes.

At the end of the day, they're all robots, and I think that what relationships they want for themselves is 100% up to each individual.

Example: Lunar, in his own words, Had Eclipse as a "Mom." and His "brother" but he disowned that idea quick when Eclipse was mean to him, and he asked if Sun and Moon could be his brothers instead. You can actually see Lunar made a concious change to his relationship dynamics within the context of the show in real time.

Their relations are entirely what they want to be called to each other... Because they have no biological roots.

Earth calls Creator "Father" yet Sun and Moon call him "Creator" and only call him "Dad" , albeit uncomfortably around Earth.

So...

Is Eclipse Related to Sun and Moon?

Yes and No.

Eclipse never really had a positive experience with Sun and Moon to consider what they were to each other other than "mortal Enemies"

So their relationship dynamic is very malleable.

Like if someone wants to write a TSAMS Eclipse redemption story where he becomes another sibling? Fine!

Does someone else want to write a TSAMS Eclipse Redemption story where he does the nasty with one of them and it's an enmeies to lovers thing?

That is actually also fine.

Because their relationship dynamic is entirely dependent on what Eclipse does next once he decides to change if you go that route.

How Eclipse FEELS about the Brothers.... What Eclipse feels his place is in their hiarchy and dynamic. Where he fits in, and where there's space for him.

I think that is very important.

Do I expect the TSAMS lore to clarify if they are or not related at some point?

Probably.

But I'm fine with reading aus were he's not related at all. I actually think them being robots provides a level of flexibility and Eclipse is able to decide for himself what he wants his relationship to be for them, if he is to have any at all.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Anonymous asked: I'm writing a story where the villain grows close to the main character/his current target. All the other characters are between trusting and finding something off about him cause they trust the main character who sees nothing wrong. Do you have any advice about how I can make the villain come off as subtly creepy without tipping off the main character and about how I can reveal how horrifying he's supposed to be later? When I think of his true intentions reveal it's not really scary or momentous and I want to create a sense of dread but I'm not sure how to do that.

[Ask edited for content and length]

As far as subtlety in making the villain come off creepy, I think it's all about finding things that appear creepy outside of a particular context. For example, imagine one of the friends pulls up to the MC's house and sees the villain standing in front of her window, peering in. Super creepy! Of course the friend will tell the MC about this, and the MC will probably say, "I'm sure there was a good reason..." and when they mention it to the villain later, the villain says, "Oh! I was walking by and I saw an unusual caterpillar crawling up the inside of the window frame." Now the thing that looked so creepy has a believable explanation. However, it's not so reasonable that it couldn't still be an excuse... It provides just enough wiggle room for it to go either way. And you can have some fun playing with the reader's expectations, too, because maybe a few days later, the villain pulls out their phone and shows the MC and the friends pictures of the unusual caterpillar. Now anyone who doubted the villain feels silly, but it doesn't mean they weren't peeping through the character's window. You could even have a time when the same friend (or maybe a different one who knows about the "caterpillar incident") shows up and sees the villain peeping through the window again. They say, "Another unusual caterpillar?" (their tone laced with suspicion), and the villain chuckles nervously and says, "No, ants this time. I need to let MC know they've got a little infestation." For anyone with a healthy skepticism, that's going to be too much... the caterpillar you can begrudgingly dismiss, but now... ants??? But, you can see how easy it would be for the MC to dismiss it because they trust this person. They will see no reason not to believe they were looking at ants this time. Especially if the villain elaborates... "I noticed a trail of ants when I was looking at the caterpillar last week, so walking by today, I thought I'd see if they were still there and let you know if they were." Sounds plausible enough to the MC, but the friend won't be so sure.

And, obviously I'm not suggesting you use this particular scenario, but hopefully you can see how you can use plausible deniability to make the trusting MC believe the villain where the friends (and potentially the reader) see that there's more going on.

As far as revealing the extent of the horror later, I think you'll want to use the rising suspicions and fears of the friends to create that build-up of dread, and then when the MC realizes (if that's part of the reveal), it's sort of like a domino effect where every single red flag their friends warned them about suddenly pop into their head as the red flag it always was rather than whatever plausible excuse they believed at the time.

Have fun with your story!

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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[panthera-tigris-venenata]

I've got a lovely idea for a story ❤️ and too little time ❤️

Anyway.

This is gonna be all over the place but.

For context this is inspired by a scene from Hazbin Hotel when the angels learn about what's heaven doing to hell and yeah. MC (princess of hell) "...You didn't know?" To which the younger seraphim turns to the older one and in absolutely heartbroken voice asks her "Please tell me you didn't know"

That's about it tbh

Now imagine this scene for AKs learning that there are, in fact, VKs on the Isle.

How they learn that?

Well funny story.

The Facilier sisters casually pop off from the Isle via Shadows and go: „Do you have any - stop screaming it's just me - Do you have any fire extinguisher? Father run out and someone's trying to set the school on fire again. We think it's Frollo.“

„WHO ARE YOU AND HOW DID YOU GET THERE?!“

(entirely justified reaction if you ask me)

Later, when FG learns of the Facilier girls casually popping off the Isle her reaction is largely „Oh goodness me, I thought I fixed that bug fifteen years ago.“

That's about the time Dr F decided to fund a school cos the other Villains didn't wanna deal with their brats and would owe him for babysitting them. He also came to the conclusion that several Villains would off him if he didn't provide Quality Education, very painfully. So jumpscaring FG for decent textbooks it was.

Anyway.

I was thinking that the Facilier sisters jumpscared Jane; she could call for Ben. (Audrey could also come on scene)

The AKs were like, VKs?? Do you think you could like. Give us some proof??

Yeah sure they can do that.

They told the de Vil cousins to get a camera and go wild.

CJ stole the camera at one point. You can tell exactly when cos that's when the tape became a running commentary of her siblings love lives.

The death threats she recieves upon being discovered are not by far the most concerning part of the video.

Oh and since Diego is canonically a singer of Rotten Apples or whatever it's partially a music video too. He's having fun.

The Tremaines are not having fun. He and Ivy broke to the salon after hours to get a cool background probably.

Last scene I can kinda imagine is a sweet & deeply concerning encounter of Diego's with Ginny.

(he tells Ivy to stop filming. She doesn't.)

Oh yeah Freddie sings too doesn't she? Music video it is. The lyrics are also deeply disturbing to Auradon audience.

However the most disturbing part would probably be when Ivy was left with the camera unsupervised ngl

Anyway I'm struggling to come up with a format for this cos this kinda doesn't fit the third person limited POV I'm usually writing in.

Like it could but the narrator would be Jane

And she's just too sweet for this.

Plus she wouldn't recognise the VKs so I couldn't use their names.

And I don't wanna write emotional turmoil. I mean I do wanna but I want to write the chaos more so it'd need to be switched up somewhere?

[lurkingshan]

On Parents and Apologies Never Received

I intended to write a whole different thing for this section, and probably still will, because I have thoughts about @bengiyo's third discussion question about why Umma and Hyung are in the same section of this book. But in the course of some other discussions I've been having this week, I have been thinking a lot about disappointing parents, the desire to hear them apologize, and the way these dynamics play out in an Asian context specifically. Under Asian cultural norms, parental accountability, when it happens at all, rarely takes the form of an explicit apology from a parent to a child, and this reality is represented well in Asian media. Asian children are expected to swallow all the hurt their parents cause them and bear it with dignity, prioritizing respect for their elders and preserving the family peace over their own needs. And wouldn't you know it, Part 2 of LITBC ends on Young's desperate desire to hear his mother apologize, and his subsequent shame for wishing it.

Here's the relevant passage:

"Umma...you know...there's something..." The words came before I could stop them, but I couldn't bear to say the words. There were so many things to say to her, and I wanted to say something, anything at all, but I hadn't a clue as to how to begin. You know, Umma, there's something I wanted to say...I wish you would apologize to me for once in my life. About trampling on my heart that time. About giving birth to me this way, raising me this way, then deciding to push me away into a place I can't come back from, into a world of ignorance and being ignored, I wish you would apologize for that. I know that what happened to me wasn't really what you had wanted to happen, and I know it's not anyone's fault, I know that, but I- "...I'll never understand it." "Understand what?" "I'm really sorry, but I don't think I can ever forgive you for that. Ever." "What is this child going on about?"

Young begins this passage wanting to demand an apology from his dying mother for all the ways she has wronged him, but he ends up apologizing to her instead. And why? Because in the culture he was raised in, he is expected to maintain filial piety, respect his mother for giving him life and providing for him, and forgive her anything she does in the name of trying to help him, even if he knows it's wrong. In the culture he was raised in, his sexuality is the true failing, and her inability to cope with it is a hardship he has heaped on her. In the culture he was raised in, his unwillingness to forgive her for what she's done to him is his flaw and a source of shame. Young wants her apology desperately, but he is ashamed to feel that way, and so not only does he not demand the apology, he doesn't even express any of his grievances out loud before he gives them up.

That the person I thought I knew best just because we had blood ties could actually be the most mysterious and unknown. That there were times in life when you just had to stop holding on. And that was why the only thing I could do now was to cease all thinking, to simply watch her as she smiled and attached meanings to silly things like the rising and setting of the sun. All I could do was await her death. And hope that she would die without having known.

There's room for interpretation in exactly what the narrator meant in these final lines. But for me, the meaning that rings most true is that Young is hoping she will never know how much she hurt him, and how much he hated her for it, and how he struggled to forgive her. He cannot reconcile these feelings in himself with the values he has been taught and the culture he lives in, and so he stuffs them down, stops holding onto them, and hopes her death will be an end to him feeling this way. It's such a poignant and authentic representation of the unprocessed trauma we all carry and how hard it is to demand accountability for it, especially from those closest to us.

[io-lu-art]

just a looong ramble analysing and rethinking Rey's character and turning whatever conclusions I get to into my headcanon without changing any plot points in TFA because I don't have the energy for that....

First things first. With everything I write here and publish on my blog from now on I refuse to believe that TROS ever existed. Everyone is free to have their personal opinions as long as they don't harass or hate on anyone, and this is mine. Almost every choice in that movie has left me scarred, even up til now, 4 years after its release. I thought I can ignore it, like any other healthy human being, but - oh boy, I cannot. If you are interested in reading another ramble on that, here's the post.

Since I am writing my own take on what could happen after TLJ (you may call it a fanfiction, I'm gonna call it a fanscript since that's gonna be its format), this post serves the purpose of getting my head clear around what's the deal with Rey, analysing, and lying down a solid foundation for my WIP. The story I'm writing has barely reached the end of Act I (out of III) at the moment I am composing this commentary, and I constantly notice that I get stuck with Rey's character every time I have to think about her for different reasons I will address down below.

I will make some rewrites as I see fit and necessary along the way for her character to make sense to me. All rewrites are in Tumblr's

chat style

This post will be linked to my AO3 fancifction as a reference for people to understand how I treat her character as soon as that one will be finished... *clears her throat* ...ANYWAY-

Let's have a look at Rey, shall we?

Rey's introduction.

When we first meet Rey, there is already a lot we get to learn about her. She's a scavenger. On a pretty much deserted desert planet. Water and food are scarce. She gathers parts during the day to sell them in exchange for food rations.

She has no friends, no family. She's lonely. And has been for quite a while. And yet, though hard, it looks like a pretty peaceful and stable life. If it were significantly different, we would have gotten introduction scenes of her battling some gangs or other scavengers for parts or something. But instead we were provided with beautiful, peaceful cinematography and John Williams' incredible score.

She manages. She manages because she has to and has never known to do otherwise. This on its own is already a very solid introduction. And it becomes even more powerful as we are provided with additional context later on, as she tells BB-8 that she's waiting for her family.

We know who she is, what she does and what she wants. No more questions, right?

Well, this is where it gets confusing, at least for me: there's one shot in Rey's introduction which always leaves me puzzled about her actual wants. It's the moment she puts on the rebel pilot helmet.

Maybe I am reading too much into it, but it feels like it kinda wants to draw parallels to Luke Skywalker in ANH? What exactly is the purpose of this shot? Is she putting on the helmet just for fun? Is it to show that she is still a kid inside? She seems to enjoy herself. Is it to show us that she maybe wants to be a pilot...? The gesture on its own is too little information to imply that, let alone that she already is a very skilled one, so probably no. Then, is it, perhaps, to show us that she dreams of more? Like Luke, who wanted to get off the planet that is "farthest away from the bright center of the universe"?

The interpretations, especially when looking at it in context to the rest of the movie could go on and on and on.

Quick detour.

The reason it works so well with Luke's character is because from the very beginning, with everything he does and says, it is perfectly clear that he doesn't want to stay on Tatooine. It's his only want when we first meet him.

Luke has friends who tell him about the galaxy. He seeks adventure.

And he's very impatient about it.

Everything he says basically SCREAMS how much he hates it there.

Now back to Rey.

Am I expecting Rey to show the same interest in getting off Jakku with the same attitude and level of energy as Luke, should that have been what TFA was going for? No, of course not. They are (supposed to be) two different characters after all. But I do believe that, given the setup, that helmet scene leaves too much room for confusing and unnecessary interpretation. (More so because I am trying my best to avoid nostalgia bait wherever I can.)

I am not denying the fact that she wouldn't have heard about the wider galaxy, that she wouldn't wonder about what it would feel like, being out there. People travel. And with people traveling, so do stories. So if you want to hint at that, do it subtly, all the while keeping the focus on her biggest want.

I might really just be reading too much into it, but still, in my humble opinion, a way to solve this confusion is cutting out her interaction with the pilot helmet completely. Let me demonstrate.

Inside her home we already see this self-made rebel pilot puppet. Just like the puppet lying around, instead of having her pick it up and putting it on,

the helmet remains part of the environment, stuck in the sand. There could even be a close-up on it as Rey puts down her empty plate next to it when she has finished eating if you really want to show it. She then rests her arms on her knees and looks up into the sky, following the ship that has just departed from the far outpost into the high atmosphere until it disappears. Waiting.

What is achieved by changing the interaction with the helmet is that it keeps her wants just as clear as Luke's. Luke wants adventure. She wants her family back. Period.

...I rewatched this scene after writing these paragraphs and yes, I admit, in the end it happens so fast that one could probably just let it pass and interpret it as Rey being very bored and using it as entertainment to wait out the days. But even if it were just that, the effects this little tweak would have on the following scenes is quite interesting to look at nonetheless.

The tweak I am going with from now on: Having her not actively wonder about possible adventures at all. She doesn't believe those stories to actually be true, because she's never allowed herself to. She's never allowed herself to actually want to ever leave Jakku.

What would it mean for her characterisation? It would make her slightly more serious and grounded. And the movie (except for the helmet scene) actually already treats her that way. Notice how she, while fixing BB-8's antenna, takes a moment to look at him before asking:

She's never seen such a droid before. At least not in such good condition. So, of course, she's curious. But when BB-8 says it's classified, she only laughs about it. "Classified? Really? Me too. Big secret," as if to say, haha, yeah, right. She rejects that possibility. And she doesn't bother asking any further, because when she is confronted with the choice to go and explore, she is reminded of her promise to herself, which is that she will wait for her family until they return.

Now, here is where I insert some very subtle "rewriting". When Rey first meets Finn, she is suspicious of him...

...and should actually remain suspicious,

instead of admiring him and falling into this, let's call it, "excited, fangirly smile"...

She doesn't know him. She has no reason to trust him. Instead, the tone of this line should be one that reflects her emotions as it slowly gets to her that those stories she's been hearing about might actually have some truth to them, that there might actually be a wider world out there. So make her be gradually interested.

Huh. This man I just forcefully hit to the ground, a Resistance fighter, knows about BB-8 and his classified information. What are the odds of that?

"So you're with the Resistance?" Rey asks suspiciously, looking down at the man.

The man stands up, brushes the sand and dust off his jacket and answers, "Obviously. Yes, I am. I am with the Resistance."

Rey frowns, "I've never met a Resistance fighter before," scanning him with her eyes. Why would there be any on Jakku? Nothing ever happens here.

"Oh, this is what we look like, some of us. Others look different."

Rey cannot help a little smile at his strange attitude. She looks back to where BB-8 rolled off to. Puzzled, she tells him, "BB-8 says he's on a secret mission. He has to get back to your base..." Even hearing herself pronounce that out loud feels so surreal to her. None of this makes any sense. Why-

"Apparently he has a map that leads to Luke Skywalker and everyone's after it."

What? "Luke Skywalker?" she asks, confounded.

CUT TO ACTION.

Whether she wants it or not, the plot forces her into the stories she's been hearing of. You don't want to believe they are real? They're real, all right. She has no choice but to run and get along. And later, she does get more and more interested, specifically when she meets Han Solo, the legend himself. Her whole beliefs turn upside down. It's exciting and she embraces it. Why? She's made a promise to BB-8 that she will get him home, and those things kinda come hand in hand.

Rey's physicality.

Rey is very fast to jump into action. She doesn't think twice about what she's doing. She just acts. Because that's how she's learned to survive all this time on her own. When she but hears BB-8 struggling in the distant sand dunes the first time they meet, she immediately reacts and goes to help (which also shows how compassionate she is towards people - and droids - in need of help).

And she's incredibly stubborn about it. If I may even word it like this: it's something she carries with pride.

So she's a good fighter. And I have but one request: DO. NOT. FORGET. THAT. HER. FIGHTING. STYLE. IS. ROUGH. AND. DIRTY. AND. HAS. NO. TECHNIQUE. WHATSOEVER. WHILE. THE. STORY. PROGRESSES. OK? Ok. What else? Ah, yes. Piloting. I don't know which of the two aspects has brought more uproar in the SW community, with the addition of the Force to these 2 points making people call her a Mary Sue, her being overpowered and so on. Let's have a look at that.

Rey's piloting skills.

She obviously knows her way around the Falcon. And it's plausible. "This ship hasn't flown in years!" It's been there for quite a while. Maybe she has had the opportunity to sneak onto it once. What about her flying skills? Well, that takeoff definitely had me worried. At this point I am even amazed this ship is still all in one piece. Which has me thinking... just a thought...

While trying to get those TIEs off their tail, Rey damages a visibly big part of the Falcon's exterior. "Ups," she comments, hastily checking the controls. Ok... The ship still flies. All good.

"What was that?" Finn calls from the gunner position, seriously worried for their lives.

"Nothing to worry about!" Rey quickly shouts back. All in all, the flight is messy as hell, and the Falcon needs some heavy repairs. But they still manage to get out.

"Nice shooting!"

"That was some flying! How did you do that?"

"Thanks! I don't know! I've flown some ships, but I've never left the planet."

(This is me reacting to their dialogue in the new context:) Yeah, guys, good work! You've almost destroyed the Falcon in the process, but you're alive, so I guess it's fiiiiiine.

What am I going for here? Adding to their level of expectations, which are... pretty low, and hopefully Rey's likability.

And then, later, Han is horrified of the state his ship is in, "Who did that?" Rey doesn't answer his question, but instead immediately offers her help, "I can fix that for you," feeling a bit ashamed of handling the ship of a legend this carelessly. And Han is... well, Han about it.

When would the Falcon get those repairs, you might ask? Eh, *hand gesture* there's plenty of time on D'Quar for that while they discuss how to blow up the third Deathst- *clears her throat* Starkiller Base. And obviously it's not gonna be Rey doing those repairs.

This addition tones down her abilities, puts more focus on her skills as a scavenger and makes her more relatable. I'd also argue that it puts more weight to her decision to eventually decline Han's offer to join the crew because of her wants. You see, once immersed into the real thing, the stories becoming true, meeting the legends, she becomes genuinely curious. She asks questions. Why did Luke leave? What fight? She gets incredibly excited when Han offers her a job. And yet, despite all, she still wants to go back.

Nevertheless, Rey displays pretty amazing piloting skills under those stressful circumstances on Jakku. After all, flying the Falcon is....

Her instincts are implacable. One might even say that she*

She just isn't aware of it yet. It is not until some scenes with Han and the rathtars later that we get the first hint.

The Force.

Now I might be wrong, but I have a theory, which is that the piloting performance under high pressure on Jakku might have been it. The Awakening.

The Force calls to Rey through Luke's lightsaber. And she listens to it, not knowing what will follow. She experiences the Force vision, and is horrified.

"That lightsaber was Luke's, and his father's before him, and now, it calls to you!"

"I have to get back to Jakku." Again.

Even when Maz tells her, "You already know the truth. Whomever your waiting for on Jakku, they are never coming back,"

she still refuses to believe that.

Tears run down her cheeks

and she shakes her head. No.

"But there's someone who still could."

Rey frowns. What is Maz implying there? "Luke?" she asks and realises what it's leading up to, and doesn't like it. Her emotions are a mess. She gulps back and keeps shaking her head as Maz speaks.

"The belonging you seek is not behind you. It is ahead. I am no Jedi, but I know the Force. [...] The light. Feel it. [...] The lightsaber. Take it."

Rey doesn't want to hear of it. Any of it.

"I am never touching that thing again!"

Rey just witnessed complete horror. She is in denial. Keep in mind her clear wants from the beginning of the movie. Ideally her want for her parents to come back should be replaced by the character fulfilling her needs at the end of her arc. But we're not nearly there yet. What Maz tells her about the Force completely contradicts Rey's experiences. She cannot just accept the truth. And how does she handle it? She runs away. She's terrified.

She wants to go back to the way things were before any of this mess started. But the plot doesn't let her run away that easily. It knows she has to face her fears, one being her fear of the Force and one the fear of perhaps never making it back to Jakku ever again.

It forces her further into these situations, making it impossible for her to get out of them. She's trapped. Literally and figuratively. And fighting her way out won't work this time, the one ability she always relied on to save herself. It's her darkest moment. And if that were not enough, Kylo Ren, this stranger, this man inside that mask, the man from her vision, shoves all her insecurities right into her face.

"And Han Solo." Rey jolts up. Either out of fear of possibly betraying Han and slipping, giving away a location, or out of rage that Kylo has gone too far into her personal space. Either way, this rage gives her some strength to oppose him. "You feel like he's the father you never had. He would have disappointed you."

"Get out of my head!" He backs away for his own reasons, not wanting to think any more of his father, but still holds onto her mind. Rey does all she can to withstand him, and the longer she does, the more time it gives her to understand what is going on.

And Kylo senses it. What he's trying to do here is not working. Concern washes over his face, which makes him lose control over the situation. The connection opens, inviting Rey to tap into his mind. She's inside his head. Now she understands. She understands she can use this power on him, too. So she does.

And there it is. She's strong with the Force.

And that's intentional. Why? For reasons we discover in TLJ and numerous other fanfictions. (TROS? w-what's that-)

She has found a way out of the situation. Now, has she ever heard of Jedi mind tricks? Maybe? But remember what she just discovered: She just tapped into Kylo's mind. So she tries that again on the stormtrooper. Because when she knows how to act, she just does. She's always been confident in her physical abilities and skills. Why would she have to treat this new power any different? And luckily it works, after 3 tries.

And that's fine. Let's move on. Kylo kills Han. Explosions.

Notice this. Even though she knows she now has these new powers, the same powers Kylo has, she still draws her blaster at him after calling him a monster. She acts on emotion and choses the quick, familiar way.

I actually like to believe that Rey really doesn't know what the Force is and how it works, at all. How would she? Yes, Maz did tell her about it, but how do Force-powers manifest in people? She's never seen anyone use it before, upon meeting Kylo Ren. So in every scene she does use it, she just copies Kylo. That's the only reference she has. Remember how proud she is of her physical abilities. And she is so naive that she just goes and tries it for herself, without thinking of whether it will work out or not. And it works out for her. Because, again, she is strong in the Force.

It's true that her flaw, her naivety, is not really addressed in TFA. It never really backlashes on her. And, to be completely honest, I have no idea how to make room for that without some heavier rewrites yet. But maybe it's not necessary. TLJ takes care of that. TFA just introduces us to Rey as a character after all.

Now, is the force-summoned lightsaber making her overpowered? If you interpret it as "Kylo couldn't get that thing out the snow but Rey could," then yes, yes it is. BUT, if you see it as "while Rey is observing the fight, she sees Kylo trying to summon it, so she copies him, the way she copied him with the mind-tapping, and reaches for it the moment Kylo conveniently gets it out of the snow for her," I don't think it is, though I do agree that in order for the second version to be true, the scene happens too fast with too little shots to explain it. *OP takes a breath* So, here is what I suggest:

Kylo reaches out for the lightsaber. SHOT of the lightsaber in the snow, fidgeting slightly. BACK TO Kylo, pulling anew. BACK TO the lightsaber. It gets free. CUT. Another shot of it flying through the air towards the camera.

SHOT on Rey witnessing that - she is already on her feet again - and immediately reaching for it as well, outstretching her arm towards it.

SHOT of Kylo as he feels the momentum of his pull shift and dodges out of the way. The lightsaber flies past him, into Rey's hand.

Rey has always been fast to react to action. So it would make sense for her to be able to do that. Ok. Now to the fight itself.

*sighs* I don't even know where to start. ...One thing's for sure. Kylo at this point is pretty much destroyed emotionally from having killed his father, but he's still big and strong and aggressive in his movements. Rey, on the other hand, kinda seamlessly knows how to handle a lightsaber, which... is definitely not believable at all.

Let's step back for a moment. Why do we have this fight? Rey needs to get Finn and herself out of there and Kylo is pretty much in the way, so she wants to eliminate the problem. And what does Kylo want? Sure, he is interested in Rey and her raw powers which eventually adds up to them being equals in the Force, so he doesn't want to kill her...

But he also wants that lightsaber, doesn't he?

(God, I am looking at this fight to find any clues and I'm just sitting here, elbows on the table, resting my head in my hands, massaging my temples, wondering, "why the hell are there so many cuts in that fight scene?") (I am no expert in fight choreography, so bare with me as I try to make this work.)

Rey is the one who draws first at him.

She has never wielded a lightsaber before, but knows how to handle a staff... so she treats the lightsaber like a staff within its limitations.

Because remember, HER. STYLE. OF. FIGHTING. IS. ROUGH. AND. DIRTY. AND. HAS. NO. TECHNIQUE. WHATSOEVER. So, pretend we have some well thought out choreography in this part.

Kylo blocks her with ease. Rey is frustrated. The lightsaber feels heavy and difficult to handle. It doesn't take long for Kylo to

get her cornered at the edge of the newly formed cliff.

"You need a teacher! I could show you the ways of the Force!" he exclaims.

Rey considers, out of breath, "The Force?" Rey takes a moment as her mind connects the dots. So that's what these new powers are? Kylo watches her, waits for her to make a move. No time for pondering about the Force any more. Rey moves. Kylo LETS her duck and free herself from his block. She runs, backs away from the crater. He follows her. He outstretches his arm. Rey is stuck. She's literally petrified. Again. Kylo draws nearer. He twirls his saber, now holding it backwards (you know, Ahsoka style). "No," she hisses through her teeth, struggling. Heavy breaths. She closes her eyes. When he almost touches her hand holding the lightsaber, "No!" she RESISTS his force-cage and GOES FREE.

Because, you see, even though Maz told her to "close her eyes" and "feel the light", Rey has never done that before, and when under stress, I do believe she would rather choose a quick, familiar way to get out of the situation. The only thing she knows how to do with the Force at this point is to copy or resist Kylo. She wouldn't know how to to draw power from the Force, yet. She'll have plenty of time to learn that from Luke later, should she survive this fight, so we better continue.

Kylo stumbles back as she draws at him. Rey goes for a swing to hit from above, which Kylo manages to block last second, bringing his lighsaber up from behind his back. As their lightsabers are crossed again he quickly reaches for her right hand, which is holding Luke's saber, with his left hand and moves it aside to his right towards the ground, using his crossguard for more momentum to force her down. He steps his left foot accordingly to keep himself stable. Rey cries out from the unexpected movement. They are kinda back to back. His left shoulder against her right one. The position is uncomfortable. He squeezes Rey's wrist. Rey cries out in pain. Then, she realises how close they are.

Time for some close combat, ladies and gentlemen.

She gives in and lets go of the lightsaber, lets it fall to the ground. Kylo releases her to reach for the fallen lightsaber. But before he can pick it up, Rey KICKS his left hand away with her right heel and PUNCHES his JAW with her right elbow from below. Kylo's head rocks back. He stumbles backwards from the harsh impact, causing him to turn his back to her in order to catch himself. Rey summons Luke's lightsaber back into her left hand, and ignites it. When Kylo turns back to his opponent, left and unprotected side first, Rey is ready to stab him in his left shoulder.

Kylo stumbles back some more, she brings her hands together for another strike leftwards, he barely blocks it, he stumbles back some more, it leaves his posture open, Rey strikes again, rightwards, lower this time, wounding his leg, he falls to his knee, leaving Rey the final blow to provide him with his scar.

The reason I started writing this entire ramble in the first place is a conversation I had with my friend which brought up the fact that Rey should be able to beat Kylo by using her rough, unpredictable moves. Shout out to my friend who, bless her, is willing to listen to and survives every one of my sw rants and who pointed this out in the first place!

Is this a good fightscene now? I have no idea. I hope so? I do have it very clear in my head now though, so I might go and have some fun storyboarding it in the nearest future.

You know the rest. The ground splits, she runs to Finn, Chewie picks them up. . . .

There are some more moments which I believe need some tweaks, like the meeting with Leia, which is just so unfair to Chewie, really, but if I go on and on about this, I would end up changing the entire movie, which I do not have the strength for atm. This ramble was supposed to be about Rey and her alone, so I am done here.

I guess in the end Rey does realise her needs and is able to let her wants aside for a bit longer and focus her hope on actually helping the Resistance and get Luke. Hope that, with finding Luke, she will get to understand these new powers. I do feel like the movie could have provided us with a more emotionally rich reactive scene to the fight and her abilities, and generally just more of those, but then, what am I expecting from a JJ Abrams film? We have Rian for that.

My conclusion? I'm bad with conclusions and summaries, so here you have it, my take on Rey by only adding to the existing dialogue, changing some attitudes here and there, adding a scene, and changing the fight sequence at the end and how she treats the Force.

I do have a clearer understanding of her character now, which was the entire purpose of this ramble, so I guess, mission accomplished. Congratulations on having made it till the end. It was a long ride. I did consider splitting this beast into 2 parts, but while writing this, at one point I just decided to fully commit to it.

You are totally free to, of course, agree with me and stay tuned for my WIP fanscript or disagree, never read through this thing ever again, ignore it and leave it to die on Tumblr's graveyard.

Before you ask, because I also considered doing that just for the sake of having fun with GIFs on Tumblr (all text gifs are taken from YARN btw), I will not do a post like this on TLJ, since I have no problems with Rey's character there at all. Props to Rian Johnson at this point, for managing to make sense of her with what TFA gave us.

[cosmos-daughter]

Leon Kennedy character analysis: the agent's endless struggle with guilt and dysfunctional romance with the spy in red.

I saw quite a few people complaining about Leon supposedly flirting with someone in Death Island film (not sure who or if he even does, the film is not out yet as I'm writing this) and accusing him of being out of character because of that, so I had to stop and write this. Seeing people acting as if Leon being flirty with women was something new or unexpected kind of shocked me, since that's been a character trait of his since 2004, then I got the context and apparently, the reason why they are upset over this is actually because Ada.

Apparently, some people expected Leon's flirty behaviour with other women to be gone on the events that are set after Resident Evil 6, because since his feelings for Ada were finally adressed in that game, many assumed they were probably in a relationship in a recent timeline, which explains why this is being treated like a case of infidelity.

Seeing that made me realize that some people, especially fans that are new to the franchise and joined the fandom after the remakes, don't quite understand what Leon and Ada actually have going on or what they mean to each other. It is much, much more complicated and deep than it actually seems, and I want to talk about it in detail here while also providing some canon information to prove the points I make.

Content warning: mentions of alcoholism, depression, suicidal ideation and unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Leon and Ada’s dynamic is tragically funny. Talk about an dysfunctional, unstable relationship. It is definitely not the healthiest. What they have going on is messy and complicated, sure, but that's what makes it entertaining for us, viewers, and what makes Aeon a appealing ship that many love, even if watching them can also be quite frustrating at times. They are the true meaning of star-crossed lovers — two people who love each other but aren’t able to be together, a love that’s doomed from the start — and that's why their relationship has always been presented and described as complicated.

Following their escape, their paths would cross from time to time, Leon as a U.S. government operative and Ada as a spy. Ada makes no qualms about using Leon when it suits her needs, but Leon is loath to bring himself to be done with her. They don't consider each other enemies, but it's hard to tell how they feel for each other. Complicated is the word that aptly summarizes their relationship.

[File from Resident Evil 6 "Leon and Ada"]

That makes two things clear: Leon has feelings for Ada, and he’s a hopeless romantic. He knows when she’s using him, he’s a smart man, but he can’t and doesn’t want to let go of her. Anyone can see that. Each time they interact you can practically sense Leon’s hesitancy through the screen, always seemingly conflicted, wary, as if going through a dilemma of “which one is more important: love or duty?", because even if she’s the woman he loves, that doesn’t change the fact that she’s shady and has worked for the opposite side before — for the people that produce bioweapons — and Leon's determination to keep fighting despite of how exhausted he is comes precisely from his hatred of people who make use of bioweapons and his desire to end this for good. Loving her or not, as long as he's not sure of what her true intentions are, he can't fully trust her. Putting the lives of innocent people at risk is something that Leon will never do by choice, after all, he lives and fights for that, to protect. He'd do anything to stop something like Raccoon from ever happening again. It's the only thing he has left. The only part of his old self that didn't die after the outbreak in 1998 is his urge to protect. Serve and protect. The self sacrificing hero.

Krauser: What is it that you fight for, comrade? Leon: My past, I suppose. [Optional dialogue from original RE4]

In RE6, he protects Ada from Chris and Helena when they try to kill her, but he’s not sure himself if she’s innocent or not. His uncertainty becomes even clearer during the final scene before they part ways again, when he asks her: “What are you? Why are you helping us?”. He's unsure of her goals, whose side she’s on, why she does what she does or what he means to her, but even confused and likely curious, he doesn’t go after her for answers when Helena tells him to. He chooses duty, like a good soldier would.

Damnation takes place months before RE6, and the film very directly implies that Leon and Ada got intimate at some point — probably a couple of times — but their behavior towards one another in RE6 is enough evidence that their involvement never developed into a serious relationship, it never went past a couple of intimate nights.

(Another proof that they weren't in a relationship during RE6 is the fact he shamelessly flirts with Helena at the beginning of the game and he would never do that if he was in a relationship, since loyalty is a big thing of his character too).

What I make up of their relationship from the content Capcom gives us and what they’ve been hinting since 1998 is that they’re less than lovers, but definitely more than friends. I believe they have that kind of relationship that sometimes, Ada shows up at Leon’s doorsteps at night after a long time of not seeing each other and they both missed each other terribly and are also undeniably attracted to one another, so maybe they do sleep together and share a tender, vulnerable moment (that they never really speak of later) and when Leon wakes up in the morning, her side of the bed is coldly empty. I imagine they have physical but not emotional intimacy, and even if they both know how they feel about that deep down, it doesn't matter — neither of them have the luxury of doing feelings. They don’t belong to each other and are free to do as they please, but none plan on moving on from one another. It’s two screwed up humans afraid of commitment loving in the best way they can: messily.

It's also important to mention I believe there's a reason why Leon accepts to be in a relationship like this even if he knows it's not good for him and yearns for more (even if he doesn't admit it, he's a big softie: emotional, romantic, loves people and company, of course he wants more than that). I'd say the reason it’s not only because he loves Ada — even if that's the biggest part of it — but also because he doesn't think himself worthy of having a loving, stable relationship. Leon is an alcoholic who suffers from depression, traumatized, barely has any free time to rest and also works in the most dangerous job in the world that could get him killed anytime. Basically, this man is not very boyfriend material and he's aware of it.

He'd most likely spent the entire time thinking the other person deserves better, deserves someone present in their life and who can give them the love and attention they deserve. With Ada, he’s able to fulfill his emotional and physical needs without having the responsibility of having an actual relationship and without hurting anyone's feelings, because Ada doesn’t expect more from him too. They both know they can't go there. A romantic relationship is probably something he no longer knows how to deal with, ever since his life has changed so drastically. Hell, he can barely take care of himself. So he's fine with the little that Ada gives him, he has to be, and he'll accept whichever parts of her she'll allows him to have. He knows that she’ll never be his, so he has to be fine with having her only for a night. It's no news for anyone that Leon Scott Kennedy is the master of self-sabotage, no one is more cruel to him than himself. Everything in his life is a mess, his love life would hardly be any different.

Now, my favorite part to talk about and the main point of this whole analysis: Leon's insecurity regarding being unworthy of love and peace originates from his survivor's guilt trauma. I will always talk about how cruel and visceral Leon’s case of survivor's guilt is, because it's part the character's essence, you can't have Leon without it. That thing is tied to him. It's a stain on his soul. It will always be with him, even if he manages to heal one day. Since Raccoon City, he lives with an immeasurable amount of guilt regarding every single person that he "failed" to save and protect, knowing they're gone while he’s still alive is too much for him and that results in a worrisome self-destructive behaviour where he thinks he doesn’t deserve to be happy or a normal life, a break from the horrors. He needs to live the rest of his life miserably, fighting incessantly against bioweapons until his last breath, because this is the very least he can do to make amends with everyone he "failed" to protect, and he holds into that failure like it's a hand. A workaholic fueled by guilt and grief.

(EDIT: Leon's voice actor, Matthew Mercer, pretty much confirmed this by saying that Leon holds himself accountable for every death that happens on his watch even if it's out of his control in a interview for the Death Island movie. I know he's the voice actor and not the writer, but since he understands his character perfectly, I find that worthy of mentioning).

Resident Evil: Damnation only further proves his crystal clear guilt issues. The scene where Leon stops Alexander from shooting himself, he says the following:

“The option of taking our own lives no longer belongs to us. Once we start using these, [the gun] we owe it to the people who died alongside us, we have to continue living.”

This whole interaction, Leon stopping a man from killing himself and his words hits differently when you remember that in the original RE2, he actually considered following the same path, and the only reason he didn’t was to protect Sherry and make sure she was safe (this part doesn’t make a lot of sense in the remake since Leon doesn’t meet her until the last cutscene, but we’re referring to the original events here). The reason why he accepted to work for the government in the first place was to ensure they would keep Sherry safe and allow her to live a normal life without being subjected to experiments (a promise they didn't keep, as we see in RE6), even if we all know he didn't have a choice and they offered him out of politeness. He still did all of that for a girl he barely knew. Self sacrifice is a vice of his just as much as alcohol.

"To tell you the truth, I even thought about ending it — several times, actually — with just a quick bullet to the head. But I didn't give up. Sherry needed me. She was a 10-year-old girl thrown into a hellish environment with monsters after her, so I had to pull myself together for her sake. She was our reason for not giving up — especially for Claire.”

[Leon and the Raccoon City Incident]

Leon feels forced to continue this exhausting loop of constantly sacrificing his own mental health and safety in this miserable and dangerous line of work because he believes that he owes that to his fallen comrades and every victim of bioterrorism. Consequently, he also gives up on his chances of having a normal relationship and life, of having a family in the future. He’s seen drinking a lot in Damnation, including during the day, alone in his room. I think that’s pretty self explanatory.

Then we have RE Vendetta — the peak of Leon's depression — where he's seen drowning in alcohol even more during a mental breakdown after losing his whole team being the only survivor yet again. More people dead at his commands, following his lead, more people dead because he can't be the super-hero he wishes so badly he was, all that while he still breathes and gets to see another day. Leon doesn't have a lot of stability in his life and he loses people important to him all the time, yet he never gets desensitized to it.

He questions if living is really worth it in the film:

“I keep fighting... and fighting and fighting, and instead of seeing an end to this shit, it just keep getting worse. Is this what my life is supposed to be? Fighting the living dead and bastards that make them? What's the point of it all?”

The accumulated years of misery finally led Leon to his limit. He is beyond exhausted, he knows it’s not fair to him, he shouldn’t have to live like this, he’s desperate for a little bit of normalcy, yet he still goes back to fight. He can't run away from duty, and he sure as hell can’t turn a blind eye to bioterrorism no matter how tired he is. Vendetta is set one year after RE6, so it’s clear that his thing with Ada hasn’t evolved since then, and it seems that it's been a while since they last saw each other, and maybe that also adds on the reasons why Leon snapped, since she's the closest to a constant in his life, the only thing he can always count to come back to him, even if he doesn't knows when.

It’s not hard to believe a man like that would avoid a serious relationship at any costs. But doing that is not easy for him, Leon is very emotional and so incredibly lonely and touch-starved, he wants the love, even if he doesn’t think he deserves it. While I have no canon evidence about this, I can see him being the type who gets one-night stands once in a while, just when he’s feeling too alone and in need for a distraction and relief, I think that he feels a little needed and loved when he’s touching and being touched by the other person, even if it’s only for the night. But he refuses to emotionally connect with the person, not only because his heart belongs to another, but because he doesn't want to risk someone falling for him; Leon is very emotionally intelligent and responsible, he thinks of people's feelings, considers them, and takes it very seriously.

I see Leon’s womanizer behaviour as a coping mechanism for his loneliness and his own way to lighten the mood and make those women not panic during the situation of absolute chaos and danger they're usually in with him. It's also simply because he enjoys women, obviously, I'm not denying that, but his flirting never bothered me because of how respectful he is — he never takes it too far or makes them uncomfortable by being inappropriate. There's a reason why all the women he flirts with, especially those like Hunnigan and Helena — who have serious personalities & don't seem the type to enjoy that kind of men — end up adoring him and seeing him as a dear friend. We can also tell he's not playing with them and trying to make them fall for him by the way he only flirts straight up shamelessly with the strong-type of women who he knows won't fall for him, and with the soft type (like Ashley or Manuela) who might actually have a crush on him, he's more careful and mostly friendly — ocasionally teasing and a little light flirting too, but that's just his way of being playful. Leon is a charismatic, charming man by nature, what can he do about it?

So, considering all this, it's pretty much clear why a relationship is out of the question for him, no person in their right mind would want to subject themselves to be in a relationship in which your partner is completely secretive about their work life, or having to live with the anxiety of going to sleep at night not knowing if they're still alive when they leaves for their missions; people want a relationship for security, stability, reassurance, comfort and peace, not to be tormented. With Ada, Leon doesn’t need to worry about any of that. She isn’t going to ask him questions nor is she going to stay up at night worrying if he’s going to come back home, because they don’t have that kind of relationship. And it's not that Leon would hate having that kind of relationship, especially with her, it's the opposite, he secretly craves it. I think there's nothing he'd love more than laying with the person he loves on his arms at the end of a long day, seeing their face lit by the rays of sun in the morning, doing the typical clingy couple things, the casual affection; but he has a job to do and he knows he can't have both.

I don’t agree with the usage of the word ‘toxic’ to define his relationship with Ada, because that makes her seem like a horrible person when it’s not the case; none of them is forcing the other into this relationship, they both just fall in with it because they know that this is the closest to a romantic relationship that people like them can afford to have. And also because this relationship isn't entirely bad for them — we don't know much about Ada, unfortunately, but we know enough about Leon to have a guess that what he has with her is enough to provide him at least a little bit of comfort, and God knows he needs it.

Even if we don't have enough content of her like her feelings, traumas and motivations to write a fully detailed essay, we know that even if she doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve like Leon does, Ada loves him too. And yes — she uses him to reach her goals during her missions, plays little games with him, but I believe the latter is part of a façade (I'll get into this later), and she never did anything to hurt him or put him in danger. She’s a focused, calculative woman who will play dirty to get what she wants, yet she often goes out of her way to help Leon every time he’s in trouble instead of considering it a nuisance. Coming from someone like her, that means a lot. She’s the one who throws him the rocket launcher in RE2 during the fight against the Tyrant, she’s the one who stops Krauser from killing him in RE4 (original, in the remake it is Luis' doing), she goes against Wesker’s orders to keep him safe, and helps him many times in RE6 and Damnation too. Ada is always watching him from the shadows and would never let anyone harm him. The way she trusts Leon becomes evident with how she always lowers her guard around him in a way you never see her doing with anyone else — like that choking scene from the original RE4 (it was cut from the remake), no other person would be able to catch her off guard like that. She's at ease around him.

Something else I noticed is how Ada only acts cool when in front of him. In the original RE4 you can see how she puts that unbothered, cool and mysterious woman show on when face-to-face with him, but as soon as he isn't watching her, the façade drops and she looks at him as if he's the most precious person in the world, she has the biggest heart eyes for him, even if she doesn't let him see it. I believe the only time she showed it to him is when he saves her from Saddler and asks her if she's okay, to which she replies with a weak "I've been better", and gives him the softest smile ever. There is so much tenderness in that look she gave him. Also, the way she talks about him: in the original Separate Ways she compliments his skills, intelligence, and refers to him as "practically a genius"; it's obvious she admires and respects him immensely.

My point with this is that the reason why she does that, the reason why Ada doesn’t give too much to Leon, is because she knows it’s just going to make things more difficult for both of them. After all, leaving would be much harder after hearing a “I love you”, after making promises or plans. They both know how they feel too, so there is no need for words. As I said before, their love isn’t exactly the healthiest, it's probably something that hurts them both, but as long as they can see each other again, they can endure the pain that comes with the separation.

Like Leon said himself, she's a part of him that he can't let go, but no matter how much they cherish each other, the end never changes; Leon and Ada are always meant to go to their separate ways.

[animazi]

AO3 Wrapped: Writer's Edition

tagged by @cheesenames

Words written this year: 43,215 (genuinely how. for context the last things I wrote before this year were all sub 1k pretty much)

Works written this year: 5, all star wars, 3 of those being peedy...

Work Most Proud of: girl and ghost. for something written for a headcanon I don't personally like that much I think it ended up being the neatest and best constructed of everything? providence, in summer has, imo, several massive pacing, thematic and structural issues that annoy me deeply

Work with Most Hits: providence, in summer which is the inevitable answer given its a) not a crackfic, and b) is about an actual main star war character

Fav title: providence, in summer. it's based on the 'providence in the fall of a sparrow' line from hamlet, which is imo quite fitting for padme as I read her (a character who has devoted her entire life to grander works than her, save this little corner of peace she has attempted to whittle out - which even then is caught up in prophecy lol - and I like and certainly used the force sensitivity via the twins idea - suddenly getting these strange awarenesses of the world you can't control and feel alien yet total in their correctness. horrible!) but I thought the unaltered quote was both too long and also didn't properly represent the themes of the fic, see my earlier note about how I'm not satisfied with providence overall lol, so I added the 'in summer' part which does get across another slightly flopped theme of that aka the temporary nature of it all. something both longed for and hated (I despise the heat in summer)

Pairing You Wrote the Most For: sigh. with pain in my voice I must accept my crown. peedy. I was also the World's Most Prolific Peedy Writer (I know I know, please hold the applause)

What Work was the Quickest To Write: um. my dad...the emperor! which I wrote on one (1) train journey. admittedly a full day of train journey, but still.

What Work Took You Longest To Write: providence, in summer...and I'm probably going to redo it at some point lol

How Many WIPS do you have for next year: idk man ideas just spawn in my brain from time to time and sometimes they get accepted, and sometimes they go live in the googledocs prison. I do want to write the vader and the obi-wan ones I've had in docs hell for a while though...

Longest Work of the Year: providence, in summer, although coruscant dreams; or eedy in love is a relatively close second. what can I say I'm a versatile person

Shortest Work of the Year: one love story. I haven't finished it though. I want to do a coffeeshop (cafshop?) au and some other deeply cheesy 2010s fanfic au concept in it still

Fav character to Write: embarrassing (true) answer. eedy. because all im doing is writing crack so I really don't have to care that much about ensuring she has a coherent characterisation going on lol. the serious (false) answer would be padme though, I just really love her so even though I agonise about how to write her, I still have fun

Which work of yours have you re-read the most: girl and ghost because it is actually good.

Total Kudos this Year: boring

Total Hits This Year: also boring

Total Bookmarks This Year: see above

Total Subscriptions This Year: ditto

What Do You Listen To While Writing: either silence or like exclusively sofia isella songs? I don't even like them that much I cannot explain it, 'everybody supports women', 'I looked the future in the eyes, it's mine', and 'all of human knowledge made us dumb' all just. have writing vibes I really cannot explain it

Fav line or passage: oh god. evil question. uhhh can I choose two? nobody is stopping me

from girl and ghost: "She had realised that they were doomed one unremarkable afternoon in the gallery when Vel tipped back her head and laughed, golden girl awash in sparkling glass crystals. In the bright white light the tips of her eyelashes had shone like burnished copper bringing out the blue of her eyes, like some delicate artefact Kleya would handle white-gloved, carefully removed from touching it - for its own sake." (this was one of the first things I wrote for this. I really like it, even though the great gatsby influence is obvious...) from providence, in summer: "In her mind, she dismounted from the guarlara and walked out alone into the grass, blades brushing her shoulders, tangling in her hair until they pulled it out of the tight nautilus shells and carried her feathered headdress down to the ground. They pulled out the ribbons in her hair, brushed away her makeup, tore down the regalia of the queen and left the girl behind to walk on forwards deeper into the grass sea and its whispered susurrus-song; a land baptism between the sky and the sea in the art of emptiness, of hollowing out the self and allowing Naboo to reform her. The pale moons, veiled by day, bore witness as she walked alone and unafraid through the ocean, her path her own. Above her, the hawk followed, thermal currents carrying it smoothly along with her. Morning dew that had not yet evaporated beaded on her bare feet and the air was alive with the ancient song of the wind and the high chirp of crickets and calls of birds. The hawk cried, and Padmé woke from her dream." (I will stand by this: a good amount of providence is genuinely my best writing. it's the sort of somewhat self-indulgent prose I really love, and think fits a padme pov story.)

I. I have not read very much fic this year I have to be honest. I don't read for fun at all during term time, and I've been writing more this year, so I don't know whose done what or tumblr usernames, so I fear I must be boring and double tag @wlwanakin and @midnight-melancholiaaa