#and be happy with what they saw
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learning about buck’s childhood just makes the grocery store moment so much worse. he talks to the 118 about his problems because he thought he could trust them with it. because the only other person he could ever talk to about anything was maddie, and even she was always just a little bit out of reach. he tells them so much bad stuff because they’re supposed to be the safe place he can go where nothing hurts. somewhere he isn’t alone. his family, to remind him that he is loved and everything is gonna be okay.
what eddie said told buck that it never was a safe space. that every time he spoke to them, when he thought he finally found someone who cared enough to hear him, there was a part of them that saw him as a nuisance. an exhausting nuisance who complains about everything. who’s problems are so minuscule, they don’t matter at all. he was an inconvenience. something they had to carry but didn’t want to.
just like his parents.
#please don’t yell at me for this i do love eddie and the 118#as someone who relates a LOT to buck this is how i perceive the situation#when you grow up invisible and you finally trust someone with all of you it leads to a lot of opening up#about all sorts of things even just stubbing your toe cuz for once in your life you have someone! who might care!#even though it’s just your toe#because in the past it was never just your toe#it was every single thing that hurt#every bad moment you kept inside because you were alone in the world#there was no one there to hug you when you were sad#buck’s parents may have started out caring when he got physically hurt#but they were always emotionally neglectful#and when they did care they cared for the wrong reasons in the wrong way#and even that faded with time#their love wasn’t just conditional it was. it was so rare#how many times did he sit alone and ache and ache and ache#and all he wanted was someone to hold him. tell him he’s gonna be okay#how many times did he cry himself to sleep#how many times did he sit and wonder what he did wrong. why they saw through him. why he wasn’t enough#what could he do to be enough? what would make them look at him and see him#and be happy with what they saw#happy enough to smile at him#god what he would’ve done to have someone smile at him#and then he thought he found it. he thought he could be enough for someone. they loved him#they listened to him#and then eddie says that it’s whining. that it’s annoying and exhausting and awful#that buck should suck it up and deal with it on his own#and. and the pain he must have felt#911#evan buckley
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Let the poor man rest.
#also no he doesn't want to experience life as a normal person. no he wouldn't sacrifice his powers to live again.#he LOVED being powerful. he was very proud of his powers. he was at the top of the world. what he disliked was being so lonely at the top.#which having reunited with Geto now he is not.#and he wanted to keep the next generation safe due to his past regrets and teach a generation of kids to be at the top together.#and he wanted to get rid of the corrupt higher-ups and reform the Jujutsu society.#and he did all of that. Yuta and Yuuji are both alive and safe and the kids are all reunited with each other stronger than ever#and the higher-ups are d**d.#Gojo obviously wouldn't hate to keep living. he clearly didn't expect to lose and die. but as he himself confirmed#he died doing what he loved. he went out the way he wanted. he went out with a bang. he had the best fight of his life and gave it his all.#as he said 'he had fun'. he said it would have been embarrassing if he died of old age or sickness.#and now that he's gone he's happy with his friends and especially Geto. he found peace.#He said it himself 'Now i'm wishing that it's not just a dream'.#also for those of you who say that Geto & Gojo wouldn't be together because one would go to hell and one to heaven... no. just no.#first of all. Gojo did a mass m*r*** before his death#second of all. they're Buddhists. they don't have heaven and hell. don't bring Abrahamic religions into everything.#and you'd be surprised by the excuses the Abrahamic religions find to not let people in heaven.#probably Gojo wouldn't go to heaven even if he didn't kill the higher-ups due to...idk... occasionaly doing pranks or sth.#but Gege apparently created a whole other afterlife of his own. and Toji Geto Gojo Nanami and everyone were all gathered there together.#you SAW that. so stop.#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#jjk gojo#gege akutami#my two cents#satosugu
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spiraling
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#the minute i realized how tg coded the composition n colours were i decided to turn it up to 11#i was racking my brain trying 2 figure out how to get the layered tissue paper look tht i talked abt ishida's cover art having#cycled through all my usual layer modes n nothing ws Quite right#until wouldnt u know it . divide n subtract!!!!! i NEVER use divide or subtract bc theyre impossible#but fr this??? its like they were made for it oh my god#it makes the greys look translucent n all my textures pop in a way that makes them appear splotchy n Bruised#which ws the whole point thts the Look god i am so PLEASED#when the layer modes tht notoriously get No love finally find their niche <33 peace and love <333#filing this away fr later i am going 2 have a lot of fun with this new information i think#im very happy w how the colours look n i dont think anything else wld have kept the right Mood#but i am always so >:/ when i have to use a palette tht forces me into giving megumi blue eyes#had to set aside th green eyed megu agenda fr the Aesthetic unfortunately#anyway i knew from the minute i saw it that i wanted to do smth involving the opening panel of 268#bc that panel is S tier#i figured tht if nothing came 2 me i wld just redraw it as-is bc it's alr so good but as i ws sketching i was like#u know what u havent done in a while? art tht looks like u r going Insane#art tht makes ur family ask whether everything is ok#so i once again tucked megumi's knees up 2 his chest and apologized insincerely to him fr making the third megumi angst piece in a row#:)
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#★ my art#art#honkai star rail#hsr aventurine#aventio#ratiorine#aventurine’s priv part 2 But ratio stole his tablet#Yeah i saw that tablet in that dang music video HES AN IPAD GUY YUCK PEEYEW /j#this is a rare time where you wont see me ramble for eons cuz i dont really have anything to say#hsr dr ratio#happy pride month ill be drawing gay people !!!!!!!!! (What ive been doing anyways)#hsr golden ratio
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[we can always meet again within one for all. romantic, right?]
#formely captioned: mha's doomed yaoi#i saw a trend on twt saying to redraw this httyd scene with ur doomed ship and its like an apparitation took hold of me#i was literally drawing smth else and i got very stidetracked cus of the tweet lol#yeah i drew this while knowing what happens in the recent chapter#just no happiness for these two ever#kudoichi#ichinii#shigaraki yoichi#yoichi shigaraki#mha kudou#second one for all user#duo holders#mha#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#dahlia.art
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these two are so interesting to me
characters belong to @canisalbus
#clenches fists. im so sosososo normal about them. i think about them a normal amount (lying)#actually the 2nd image is based on some sort of anime couple pose template(?????) that i saw a while back and wanted to draw them in it#but i swear to god i CANNOT FUCKING FIND IT. i was literally knee deep in yuri and yaoi fanart for hours trying to find that god damn photo#but i dont even know who the characters were and pinterest just shows me bakugou and deku making out sloppy style whenever i try#so i gave up an tried drawing it from memory and cried the whole time. i hate anatomy.. but they look so happy so its fine#god whenever i see Lore or sweet little tidbits for these two i want to tear into something with my teeth and throw something /pos#i genuinely want to study these gay little renaissance dogs under a microscope#what fucks me up is the fact that we all know it ends horribly but u cant help loving them anyway.. they are so. incoherent hand gestures#my art#myart#others ocs#vasco#machete#vaschete#furry art#fur#anthro
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There's this weird take I've seen floating around on TikTok that Bill doesn't actually care about his family/dimension or Stanford at all; that we're supposed to take everything in TBOB as non-canon basically because he's lying to garner sympathy from reader to make a deal with them. I'm all for having your own interpretations of media, but I just don't think this idea that Bill is a completely heartless unfeeling creature is supported by canon at all. In fact, it kind of feels like the opposite of the point of the book.
Like, yeah, most things Bill says should be taken with a grain of salt because he lies a lot, but he's not actually a very good liar? It's usually pretty easy to clock when he's full of it. But okay, even if we assume every word Bill says while trying to recruit the reader is a lie, there are three major things that this doesn't account for.
Bill is not the only source in the book. The lost Journal 3 pages were written by Stanford, we only know about the interdimensional Taco Bell incident because of an included police transcript, etc.
Even once he's lost any chance of making a deal with the reader to escape, Bill is having a complete breakdown and mentions all the people he so totally doesn't miss for real you guys. Why bother with reverse psychology double-lying for sympathy once his shot at getting the reader on his side is already gone?
Trying to garner the reader's sympathy makes sense to a certain extent, but why go out of his way to make himself look pathetic? Does revealing that he got drunk and cried over his ex in a fast-food drive-through really help his cause if that cause is to convince the reader he's still a powerful being capable of starting the apocalypse again so they can rule with him?
And that's all without even mentioning that, as previously stated, I think the entire point of the book is missed if we're interpreting Bill as having no genuine feelings or attachments. The book ends with Stanford healing from his past by being open about what he went through with his family and accepting their help, while Bill insists he doesn't need anyone and refuses to heal, actively making himself worse in the process. The clear theme imo is that accepting your past and accepting help from people who love you is essential to healing, while denying those things just makes everything worse. If Bill doesn't actually care about his family, his dimension, Stanford, or anything/anyone else, he has no trauma to heal from or regrets to learn from that he's refusing to accept and deal with, and the entire meaning of the book is made moot.
#tbob spoilers#tbob#the book of bill#bill cipher#billford#also it's just dumb bc like. the book did not invent these concepts.#there are clear implications in other sources that he regrets what he did to his dimension and that he genuinely cares about Ford.#anyone remember “saw his own dimension burn/misses home and can't return/says he's happy he's a liar blame the arson for the fire”?#and the “obsessive ex who still has feelings” dynamic he has w Ford is not new to this book it's just expanded on in it#also WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT OF WRITING A BOOK. IF WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TAKE ANY OF IT AS CANON. THAT'S NOT HOW UNRELIABLE NARRATORS WORK.#this is rly long whoops can u tell how annoyed i am by this take#gravity falls
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hewwo
#stargate sg1#stargate atlantis#neko atsume#almost cried drawing that cute little fucking tac vest on jack btw. look at him.#not in love with all of the atlantis team especially rodney and weir and tela i fuckim struggled with them#like i'm happy with how they look it's fine but short of sticking a maple leaf on rodney or something you know#it's the props#i couldn't figure out how to make who they were obvious. idk man they're cute and i know who they are I guess. felt the same with sam tbh#giving her a little math sheet felt a lil cheap but you know what it's done i'm not gonna keep workin on these the gateroom killed me dead.#also i woulda done the other sg1 members that show up later but I haven't gotten there yet in my watch-thru.#like i saw them as a kid when it was airing on tv but not yet while actually paying attention to things like the plot#my posts#my art#stargate#the sg1 one was done first so that's why i didn't end up putting a lot of detail into the planet they landed on vs how much detail#i had to keep leaving out of the fucking got dam gateroom why is there so much detail in that room hey guys what the hell is up with that r
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Best dynamic
#Was thinking about rottmnt#and how Mike always sits on Raph’s shell#just#very very cute#lil fella#for ship dynamic I’ll say fizz and Ozzie#tiny guy#This is more head canon#but I like drawing Wally chilling on Barnaby’s back#hummmm what else#oh I saw a drawing of envy sitting on embarrassment’s shoulder#they’re very sibling coded#oh maybe also iron giant#okay we’re going towards giant territory#my deadendia fellas#pael#on book 3 book cover#sitting on Tartarus shoulder#dude just chilling jdhdjdhdjdj#anyway#I love thèse#make me happy#I’ll stop talking#bearz rambling tag
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Was thinking about this again haha
Anyway I adore Hueso and Leo’s dynamic and wanted to include Hueso Jr in it because I like to think Leo can be shockingly good with kids
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt hueso#rottmnt leo#rottmnt hueso jr#rise leo#I wish we actually got to meet hueso jr#he’s so cute from the literal One Picture we saw#and it would have been so fun to see the sardonic Hueso’s son be so happy go lucky#he goes up to Leo all ‘you’re the one my papá always complains about!:D’#and before Leo can go ‘omg tío talks about me 🥹’ jr hugs him tightly#says he ‘always wanted a brother!!’#Leo tries not to cry fails and promptly says ‘what if I told you I’m a package deal’#Hueso Jr now has four big bros#turtle art tag#I JUST REALIZED I SHOULD PROBABLY START KEEPING A TAG FOR ART…
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ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.
when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead instead’ it's not because I don’t think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!
that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.
but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if that’s where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!
joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. it’s not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.
and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! it’s good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, that’s not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we can’t change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.
tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.
#aromantic#aro positivity#aspec#aroace#aro#aromantic joy#arospec#when i saw its important to 'love' yourself - pls understand i am in no way trying to exclude loveless aros from this#that was just the easiest way to express what i meant! when i say 'love' i mean positivity/respect/happiness. etc. i just used that word bc#it works for ME which is why i said it. but feel free to replace it with whatever works for you! <2#also sorry if not everything im saying makes total sense i tried my best#this is something ive been thinking about for a while and have been struggling to articulate#i maybe should have read some theory for this abt community building but im too tired + overwhelmed w school reading right now so sorry.#if anyone has additions on that front though please do add them#also ngl im kinda scared to post this. i hope i explained what i mean well enough. like i get wanting to vent and express self hate BUT.#there is nuance to this and it is not unilaterally healthy i think. also i dont see any other online community fostering the normalisation#of selfhate the way the aspec one does! which makes me feel weird abt it especially.#anyway. this is basically my personal philosophy towards aromanticism#mossy posts#⚙️
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slasher horror + favorite letterboxd reviews
#i didn't find any i liked of black christmas' one thats why its not here#horror#also didn't put the usernames in it because didn't know if they wanted to be in it#horror movies#halloween#friday the 13th#a nightmare on elm street#the texas chain saw massacre#prom night#my bloody valentine#i know what you did last summer#happy death day#scream#horroredit#moviesedit#filmedit#letterboxd#cinema
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the sirens are turning red
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk art#megumi#animal horror/#animal death/#scopophobia/#hiiii i drew messed up animals again :>#i couldnt decide which ver i liked better between the white and black bg so i decided to playing card logic it#i think if i had to pick i Do like the black bg better but i spent a whole hour on that gd eye im keeping it#idk what came over me but im so glad it did i love drawing characters dressed in white surrounded by concerning animal imagery#gotta b one of my favourite flavours of fanart to make tbh#i saw a picture of a rabbit sculpture and something abt the albino red around the eyes ears feet mouth#made me think of blood pounding made me think of bruises scars Prey#and wld u look at that one of my fav characters ever just so happens 2 have a whole lot of rabbits :)#so i stuck megumi in what i can only describe as a vogue straightjacket n went to town#ik that the megumi + dogs/wolves gets a lot of love bc the characterization fits#but the rabbits.....but the [spoilers]#its SO good its so sososoososos good#anyway im proud of this piece hsfhgsfjs i love drawing rabbits i love white + Bruised blood-under-the-skin red this made me rly happy#i only care a Little bit that it took me forever <-lying#ill blame the rabbit skeleton smh
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aromantics are way too comfortable implying friendship is the most valuable part of life to bitch about alloros doing the same thing with romance
#the call is coming from inside the house#i should specify#not all aros. but enough to where i don't hang out in the aro tag anymore#queer#queer community#aromantic#aroace#aro#should i tag asexual? the post that broke the camel's back for me had asexual tags too so it feels relevant#but it feels more like an aro issue. but maybe tagging it ace would bring some awareness ? and i did tag aroace#you know what fuck it#asexual#ace#aromanticism#lgbtq+#aspec discourse#aspec community#aphobia#aplatonic#aplspec#ace discourse#← i think every aspec discourse ends up there anyways. saw a lot of aro discourse there so yea#aro discourse#aplphobia#yeah i'm overtagging but if at least one person could see this think about it and stop doing it i would be happy so maxing my chances here
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3am doodles 😌
#kakashi shoulda been a girl#I said what I said#it wouldn’t have effected the story at all#i just think it’d be neat#me actually posting recent doodles 😝#fem!kakashi#fem!obito#toxic yuri obkk 😈#none of those words are in the bible#kkob#obkk#kakaobi#anbu kakashi#kakshi hatake#obito uchiha#I love colouring omg#the colours make my eyes happy#I saw one fem Kakashi design and was sold#art#comicart#digital art#my art sketch#sketches#naruto fanart#kakashi fanart#is this?!?#wuh luh wuh!?!#yes!#naruto#azuree1733
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not me 🤝🏻 only friends
#only friends#only friends series#only friends the series#only friends ep9#not me the series#ofts#gmmtv#not me#jojo saw not me and said yknow what.....------#and i respect him for that#sdhgkdfhg#also making this made me miss yok so much like please----#my all time favorite boy 🥺😩#i hope hes okay i hope hes happy#jojo thinking of a visual concept for boeing: how do i combine my 2 favorite characters gram and alan#oh i know#QUICK CALL MOND#crew: but-----he left gmm-#jojo: I SAID CALL HIM
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