#and also. cheeseburger yummy.

[hilacopter]

i passed the kosher section today at the store and thought about you. im glad you’re alive at the same time i am so we can reblog shitty tumblr posts from each other

so true beloved mutual 🫶🫶🫶💞💞💞 i don't keep kosher tho

[tache-noire]

it's really surprising how hard it is to eat enough protein. even just hitting the minimum for my weight (120g) is hard. I thought i ate a lot before now, but like. I have to eat when I'm not hungry now. it's really weird.

[bettysupremacy]

Hi! How are you? I hope everything is well :) I saw that your requests open and I actually requested this 2 months ago but I know sometimes Tumblr eats some asks so I wanted to ask again. If you do not like the idea feel free to ignoee but may I request a James Potter fic where the reader is a bit insecure when it comes to romantic stuff because she has never dated anyone so when James and the reader start dating she gets really shy about everything and James helps her feel comfortable with all of it maybe? I hope you like the idea! Thanks in advance :)

Hi!! I actually think I may have written that here. If not, here’s this for you<3 If that was it, yay!! Here’s another!! Short but sweet

Dating is fun.

You’ve gotten used to that fact slowly. Having a boyfriend is fun. They’re nice, and silly, and let you have the last slice of pie. They laugh, and kiss, and sit you on their laps at cookouts.

This is also a fact you have not been opposed to getting used to.

“Having fun?” James eyes twinkle towards yours.

You sit on his lap, mildly embarrassed of the hand he splays on your thigh, gently leaning into the touch. He leans further into you affectionately, moving to murmur in your ear.

“D’you want something to drink?”

“Um,” You hum back, distracted. By his warm hand, or the sparkling lights above, he doesn’t know.

The clement air blows past your cheeks, simultaneously warming and nipping you. James holds a beer in his hand, you in the other, and looks so dazzling in the golden lighting of the setting sun, you wish you could snap a photo.

“Another lemonade?” He asks, watching your head turn at the abrupt smell of Sirius’s cheeseburgers. “Or hungry?” He smiles.

You smile shyly back, pushing your face into the crook of his neck. “Yeah.”

“Me too.” He nods, serious. “Want me to build you a plate?”

You think honestly. You don’t want to be too showy. To flaunt the new relationship you’re still navigating. But Dorcas builds Marlenes plate, and Remus helps Sirius cook, whilst Mary holds Lily. This is what couples do.

“Extra onions?” You ease out slowly. “On the burger?”

He smiles, thrilled you’ll let him go up there for you. “You’re disgusting.”

You laugh abashedly. “Lily makes them yummy.”

“Veggies on your burger,” He scoffs, head shaking in a no-nonsense way. “I cant condone that behavior.”

“You eat onions on your hotdogs.”

“Different.” He begs.

You smile. “How-so?”

“Well for one I’m not a freak and it’s a chili-dog.”

“So you condone chili burgers?”

“No, Angel,” He sighs, faux serious. “I’m not a sociopath.”

“I’ll get my own-“

“No!” He laughs startled, shoving you off of him gently in a quick change of moods. The garden chair creaks, much more empty without his boyish presence. “I don’t condone it, but I’ll get it for you.”

He leans down, lips begging for a kiss as he puckers dramatically in your face. You glance to your friends.

“No one’s looking.” He reassures, pulling your face to his, longer than expected.

“We are!” Mary giggles from the sliding doors.

“Lovingly!” Marlene clarifies while being dragged by her black haired friend.

“Bugger off!” James laughs, looking back, before resting his pretty gaze on you. Slowly he dips down to steal another soft kiss from you. It satisfies something aching in his chest. “I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.” You whisper.

“We get it!” Sirius yells from the grill.

“Enough!” Remus finishes, dimples popping out.

James sighs, a hand running over his eyes. Before you can protest, he plants another chaste kiss to the side of your lips. “Be right back.”

[gumdropmodels]

G-Guess who finally stuffed a lot for once again..~?

After having reheated T-Bell for lunch, I just finished eating 2 triple cheeseburgers from McDon's that I also loaded with nuggets to make into giant chicken burgers!

They were sooo yummy! Tho I think my tummy got smaller...

[ros3ybabe]

Daily Check-in September 13th, 2023 🎀

So yesterday was absolutely one of the most productive days I have ever had, and I swear I enjoyed it so much. I got so much done, so much planned out, and I'm super happy. I also just got paid, so I bought some Japanese language learning resources, some desk organizer stuff for my ne stationery, and... some more new stationery. I can't help it, I love it all!!

🩷 What I Ate Today -

Breakfast - small bowl of boiled frozen chicken dumplings

Lunch - Leftover homemade cheeseburger and fries

Dinner - Mac and Cheese, Quesadilla

Snacks - rest of Mac and cheese

Extra - 4 cups of coffee

It has been a struggle staying awake some days so I do tend to over indulge in my coffee. It's so yummy. I also bought a matcha set so maybe I'll learn to make my own matcha drinks now and I'll cut back on the coffee?

🩷 Personal Achievements -

Swept bedroom/bathroom

Replacd old carpets with new ones

Replaced old shower liner with new one

Replaced old fitted bed sheet with new one

Organized my desk more efficiently

Washed dishes

Dyed my hair a bit again

Did a load of laundry

Put away ALL laundry in room

Took my bedroom trash out

Studied Japanese 15 min

I got just about everything on my to do list done in my room yesterday! I am super proud of myself for getting it all done. None of it was hard or took long but I had been procrastinating it so I'm just happy it got done.

🩷 Academic Achievements -

Completed and passed NUTR Exam 1

Completed and passed Culinary Quiz Ch 6

Completed and submitted Meal Three Writing Assignment

I didn't do any note taking yesterday cause I was on a video call with my boyfriend for most of the day on my Ipad, and my ipad is how I take notes. Since I don't have much to do today, I figured it'd be a good time to take some notes, watch my lecture videos, and read some textbook chapters.

🩷 To Do List for Today -

Read Ch 11 for Personal finance class + take notes

Watch Fitness For Health and Sport online lectures + take notes

Complete my Sample Nutrition Log assignment + submit it

Study Japanese 15+ min

Clean Bathroom

Attend RD mentorship meeting

Therapy

Extra Credit Meeting + mini writing assignment

I don't want to have to do too much today because I do have three separate meetings to get done today, and I believe this meeting with my first RD mentor is going to kickstart this program for me and add more to my plate. I have a meeting with my second RD mentor next week, so my schedule is gonna get very busy.

🩷 Song of the Day - Are You Satisfied by MARINA

This is a good motivational song for me to keep me on track with all my responsibilities. I love music so much, what would I do without it?

That's all for now, lovelies! Trying to get back into a self care routine is definitely a top priority right now, so expect some of that to be sprinkled into my updates again as I start becoming more successful with implementing it!

Til next time, lovelies 🩷

[knbposting]

at this point i have no idea if it's a headcanon or if it's just canon, but kagami's 24 maji burgers has got to come from somewhere. he generally eats a lot of food, my hypothesis is that he's a growing boy, he's a teenager, and he's really tall/strong, therefore his basal metabolic rate is probably really high. add onto that all the exercise that he does

kagami also goes all-out during practise. he's always training until he's out of breath, always striving to improve himself. on top of that, he talks about going on runs sometimes too (in order to help him think things through and regulate his emotions, my sweet boy). therefore i can only imagine he's hungry all the time.

his burgers are a particularly specific demonstration of him choosing to eat that, though. walk with me here. maji's/fast food joints are pretty inexpensive and they have yummy food. he didn't have a lot of pocket money growing up so it makes sense that he'd want to go somewhere cheap. then it becomes normal. then he starts buying more to the point that he actually feels full.

i think the 24 burgers thing is a gag. first and foremost, i think it's just an exaggeration for the hahas and i agree, it's pretty funny. it makes sense that someone so huge like old kagz would want to eat that many burgers in one sitting, but let's put this thought aside for a moment and consider alternative reasons for his 24 burgers. it is 24 burgers, by the way. two dozen burgers. mental

anyway. assuming that maji's is just a mcdonald's substitute, here's the nutritional information for 1 cheeseburger:

15g protein for 300kcal isn't bad imo. he's got a decent amount of carbs in there to fuel him, and honestly the fat isn't great but he's eating at maji's he's not going there for health foods. (also kagami doesn't care about health foods, king)

my belief is that he probably read in a fitness magazine about the importance of protein and calorie intake for building muscles, and thought of maji's. i reckon he doesn't track macros or calories because he doesn't want to have to do the maths, but he knows that if he eats enough, it doesn't matter.

kagz has mentioned before that when he's with people he thinks would care, or they've been weird about it before, he will order 12 cheeseburgers. let's say that this was his first solid quantity before he ended up raising that number, the bigger he wanted to get. in 12 cheeseburgers, there's 180g of protein (3,600kcal). hell yeah, dude! that basically covers his general intake goal for protein (if he was actively tracking it, which, again, i doubt -- but let's call it a ballpark). in 24 cheeseburgers, there's 360g of protein and 7,200kcal. that is definitely too much protein to eat at once and expect any extra benefit, but he's not eating this every day so it's not so bad. and again, i have a feeling his calorie requirements are going to be super high due to all the contributing factors i mentioned before.

in conclusion, i think kagami read one thing once about having to get over 200g protein if you want to bulk up (which he has always wanted to do, he's always aimed for being big and stocky), and ran with it. 24 cheeseburgers fulfils his protein requirement so he doesn't have to do any maths, and it leaves him feeling full.

i do just want to point out that mcdonald's cheeseburgers are, according to google, about 200yen each, bringing the 24 order up to ¥4,800 (£25GBP/$31.40USD) which is not an absolutely insane cost for eating out. of course he also orders fries and a drink but he seems to prioritise his burgers so i cba to look up those numbers. he's a king ordering like one fries to 24 cheeseburgers ratio tho. no wonder he likes maji's so much if it's cheap and cheerful and completely eradicates any concern for getting enough protein. we're talking GAINZZZZ BABY

[meandtheyeehaws]

...why is everyone arguing over Micky D's and BK? Like- I'm Canadian- better yet from the smallest island (The potatoes heaven I guess. We grow good blueberries here too lmao) and we have both, and more. Personally- I would eat either (Don't rarely get either bc I am the pickyest eater tbh) but only like- the McFlurry or- A small cheeseburger with only letchu[. (I'm that basic sue me)

But- I have to say. I prefer Wedy's better than all of these companies. THEY DONT CUT CORNERS (Like- square patties man. And good fries.)

Anywhizzle- I do hope you have a good day! I enjoy your art so very very much- loved it from the day I saw it! Very yummy.

<3

IDK I MENTIONED I DONT LIKE BURGER KING AND NOW EVERYONES SHARING THEIR EXPERIENCES W FAT FOOD its rlly funny i love it

also tysm friend!!!🥰🥰❤

[coro-chan6]

Somehow Supernatural

Tags: teen!oc, gn!oc, poc!oc, Dean being Dean, weird dreams, CROWLEY, demon dogs, Dean being scared of said demon dogs

Summary: Casey goes to bed, has weird dreams, and gets to meet the King of Hell.

Chapter Three: Yummy Food and Weird Shit

I will never deny that I was a foodie. I mean, if you saw me when I devour anything put in front of me, you wouldn’t even have to ask. I love everything about food. Sometimes I mix stuff together that other people think is weird like when I dip my waffles and pancakes in orange juice. I used to be the kid in elementary school who would mix everyone’s leftover lunches together and actually go through with eating it.

One thing I learned from all my years of eating is that post-panic attack meals are the best. After crying half my weight in water and depriving my brain of oxygen, food just hits different. Plus, Dean brought back chicken nuggets.

“Slow down, you’ll choke,” Dean said as he reached his hand to take my nuggies away. I obviously wasn’t gonna just let him do that so, I smacked the shit out of his hand. I didn’t think I put that much power into it but when I heard the smack echo, I knew.

“Mmfh,” I was trying to apologize before he kicked me out on my ass, but my mouth was full of about 4 chicken nuggets. Dean glared at me and went back to eating his double bacon cheeseburger.

Sam had come to sit down across from Dean and me after he had finished preparing his salad. Dean asked if his brother wanted anything from the restaurant, but Sam insisted on eating salad. I love salad as much as anyone, but when someone offers to buy you fast food, you fucking take it. Salad be damned.

Castiel was seated next to Sam opposite of me. He didn’t need to eat, so he was just reading the menu that had come with the fast food. Occasionally, he would look up from his reading to glance at me. It didn’t look threatening, but it did look like he had something to say.

“So,” I had finally swallowed down the colossal amount of chicken I stuffed down my face, “When are we going to go on a hunt?”

“We?” Dean quirked his eyebrow at me.

“Yes, we, Dean. I might as well since I’m here. What else am I supposed to do?”

Dean crumbled up the empty wrapper of his meal, “Nothing.”

“Sam?” I turned to the younger Winchester. He had been really nice to me. He wouldn’t agree with Dean.

“I agree with Dean.”

Well fuck.

So, basically, I was in this new universe and I couldn’t do jack shit but sit underground. That was so unfair! They should at least take me once, but from their faces, it didn’t look like they were gonna change their minds.

What did they even have to do in the bunker? I know they have alcohol. Too much alcohol, in fact, but even if I was of age, I’m not really interested. They also have a library full of hunter books. I know that sounds cool and I shouldn’t be complaining, but who would want to read books about these cool ass monsters if you could see them in person? Not me, that’s for sure.

“They should go on a hunt,” Castiel stated, not taking his eyes off his menu. How was that so interesting to him?

…wait.

“Did you just say I could go?!” I squealed.

“Did you just say they could go?!” The brothers yelled in unison.

“They can go with me,” Castiel said finally putting his menu down, “They won’t be harmed.”

I ran over to the other side of the table to tackle Castiel in a hug because I was so happy. Fried nerves be damned. He kind of froze for a second before awkwardly patting my back. Sam and Dean were still trying to get the angel to not bring me, but he didn’t budge.

“Who would watch them if we’re all gone? They’re a child, they need protection.”

Dean scoffed at that like it wasn’t kind of true before he stood from the table and stalked off. Presumably to his room. Sam shook his head in disbelief before he retired as well. 

Soon, Castiel and I were the only ones left at the table. I was still eating my fries and Castiel was staring at me. It would have been creepy if it had been anyone besides him, but he had this innocence about him that didn’t make him all that scary. Even though he was the only one here with powers strong enough to do God-knows-what, he didn’t make me feel frightened at all.

“Casey,” I perked up, “you should get some sleep. It’s late.”

I wasn’t sure how late it was because we were underground and I never asked, but now that Castiel brought up the subject of sleep, it made me yawn. I didn’t even register I was tired. It felt like it’d been so long since I last slept. I wasn’t sure if that was because of my eventful day or because it really had been that long.

I got up from the table and waved Castiel goodnight. I was halfway down the hallway before I realized that I didn’t know where I was going to sleep. No one had given me a room or anything. 

I wonder where my body was staying before I got here.

Not wanting to bother anyone, I slinked over to the couch I had sat on earlier and laid down. The couch had a blanket that was thick enough and a couple of pillows that weren’t too uncomfortable.

The thing that made me so uneasy was the fact that it was out in the open. The couch sat against one of the walls of the library. I never did well with new sleeping spaces, but when those sleeping spaces were so big and dark that you weren’t sure what was hiding in there… I did not like it. Plus, I couldn’t watch YouTube before bed. 

I’m not sure how, but I eventually went to sleep. I ended up in another void. This time I couldn’t see all my thoughts as words. This time I could see my mom. She was in the kitchen chopping vegetables. There was nothing on the stove and there was nothing in front of her to put the vegetables in. The only thing on the entire counter was the chopping board and the single carrot she was chopping. I wanted to know what she was doing and I tried to ask, but my mouth wouldn’t move. She looked me right in my eyes before she disappeared.

Next, I saw my dad. He was in the garage sitting on his motorcycle. The engine wasn’t running and the garage wasn’t even open, but my dad had all his gear on like he was gonna take off at any second. He wasn’t wearing his helmet though. I was standing in the doorway that lead from the house to the garage. My dad was facing in the other direction. He looked frozen in time. I couldn’t even see his body shift from breathing. It was like he was paused. I tried to walk up to him to tap him on the shoulder, but - again - I couldn’t move. My dad finally turned his face to me. Blood dripped from his mouth. Then, he disappeared too.

I saw my older brother out on the front porch. He was sitting in the gray chair that was facing me yet, I couldn’t see his face. His neck… his neck somehow had his head on backward. His fingers still typed at the computer on his lap even though he couldn’t see it. I didn’t try to move this time, but my brother did. One of his hands lifted off of the keyboard to point at something behind me. Then, he disappeared.

My little brother was next. He was in the basement playing on his gaming setup. Well, at least he was sitting at his gaming setup. His arms were at his sides and he was staring at a blank screen. I was standing directly behind him. I wanted to run. I didn’t want to see this creepy shit anymore, but I was stuck in place. I had to watch my little brother melt into a pile of flesh in his chair.

I didn’t like this dream. No matter how hard I tried to wake up, I couldn’t. I was stuck. Stuck watching some creepy version of my family from afar. I wished that I could hear Dean’s voice again. I wished he would wake me up by shaking my arms like he did before, but his voice never came. No one ever came. This wasn’t me feeling like a failure that didn’t deserve to be saved. I wanted to be saved. I needed to be saved.

“Save me!” A voice echoed through my head that I’d never heard before. I never heard this voice before, but I felt linked to them somehow. I wanted to reach out and save them like I wanted someone to save me. For the first time since my dream started, my body moved. I reached my hand out for this voice. I swear I felt them reach back.

~~~

“Fuck!” I woke up sitting straight up on the couch I fell asleep on. My hand was outstretched like I was reaching for… something? Someone. Who was I reaching for? 

My blanket and pillows had fallen to the floor which wasn’t a surprise to me. Even when I wasn’t having creepy ass weird ass dreams, I was still a wild sleeper. What the fuck was that dream about anyway? I liked to believe that all dreams mean something, but I didn’t understand that one. Or maybe I was too scared to want to understand it. I’d come back to it later.

Right now, I was more concerned with the man sitting in the library. He looked concerningly like the King of Hell.

“Hello… new child,” Crowley said in his british accent. He was casually sipping on some of Sam and Dean’s alcohol stash. I felt underdressed even though I was wearing the same shit since I got here. It wasn’t half bad, but I kinda wanted to meet Crowley looking like myself. Or at least with my own dressing style and not this cringe shit. He was one of my favorite characters after all.

“How long have you been there?” I asked, slowly placing my feet flat on the floor. 

“Not that long,” he shrugged.

I got up and walked toward him. I know he’s the King of Hell and all that jazz, but I really wanted to shake his hand. He didn’t look like he wanted to hurt me. He actually looked kind of curious.

I offered him my hand, “I’m Casey. Nice to meet the King of Hell face to face.”

Crowly smirked and shook my hand, “You know who I am and you think it’s nice to meet me. I’m surprised the Winchesters haven’t told you-”

“Get away from him!” Sam shouted as he practically slid into the room. It seemed like he rushed in here so fast he forgot to put a shirt on. He was only wearing his blue-patterned pajama pants. I looked at him with a ‘what the fuck’ face before turning back to Crowley. I know Sam was trying to look after me and shit, but he was not gonna make me walk away from the motherfucking King of Hell.

“I have so many questions if you don’t mind,” I told Crowley as I sat next to him. Sam let out a sound of protest, “What do the demon dogs look like? I know the whole thing is not seeing them, but I’ve always been curious. Also, what’s your favorite task to do as the King of Hell? Do you enjoy torture or do you only do it because you have to? Are other demons dumb cause how do they get killed by Sam and Dean so easily? Do you have wings-”

“You have to give me time to answer, you know,” I snapped my mouth closed, “For your first question… I could bring the demon dogs here if you’d like.”

“Yes!” I squealed.

“No!” yelled Sam.

Crowley brought out the summoning whistle from his jacket pocket. Sam looked like he was about to pass out, but he somehow managed to stay upright. I sorta forgot that Sam had trauma from the demon dogs. They killed his brother in what? Season 3?

I didn’t think Crowley was actually gonna go through with it, but he blew the whistle. I guess if the dogs don’t have orders to kill anyone, they won’t… hopefully.

“How can you tell when they’re here-”

I was cut off but something warm and wet wiping up my face. I let out a yelp of surprise before I realized it was most likely the dogs. I cautiously reached my arms out to feel for its body. My hands connected with soft fur. The dog or dogs - I felt multiple tongues licking at my face - were pretty big by the feel of it. Maybe the size of a pony? They were muscly as hell though.

“How many did you call?” I asked Crowley.

“Just one. They have multiple heads. You can ask Dean about that.” 

Sam gave the demon a glare for his assholish comment before he spoke up, “Why the hell are you here, Crowley?”

“Well,” Crowley looked back at me. I bet it looked like I was petting air, “I came here to see them.”

Sam was confused. I was confused. Why the hell did the King of Hell have business with me? Even though I had no idea what Crowley wanted with me and whether or not I was in danger, I kept petting the demon dog. I didn’t know when I was gonna have the opportunity to do this again.

“You’re not taking them,” Sam said, pulling an angel knife from his ass.

“I’m not taking them. Calm down, moose,” Crowley finally stood up from his chair, “I just wish to talk with them.”

“I don’t see why not,” I pipped in.

“He’s the fricken King of Hell!” Sam yelled like ruling the underworld was a crime.

“And?” I replied.

“And you're not talking to him!”

“Well, last time I checked, you weren’t the fucking boss of me, dude.” I stood up from petting the demon dog and gave Sam a glare. I was getting fed up with Sam telling me what to do. First, he told me he didn’t want me going on hunts, and now this? I hadn’t even known him for a full 24 hours!

“You’re a child, Casey! No!” 

“I’m not your fucking child, Sam, so buzz the fuck off!”

The demon dog started barking really loud after I said that. The air stilled. Crowley was smirking throughout Sam and I’s whole argument, but now his face was filled with genuine surprise. Sam looked scarily angry.

“You lied,” Sam stated. The angel knife that was once pointed at Crowley was now pointed at me, “You are some kind of monster.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I said, breathless. Fear shot up my spine.

“Your eyes… they turned red.”

AN: Crowley's one of my favorite characters and in later chapters sometimes he just comes back for not reason other than I like him. I know I do shit on Dean, but like, I still like him. He's just not my favorite out of the trio. And yes, superpowered OC. Gotta love it.

[evansbby]

Ari and bunny baby are just too cute 🥹🫶!!!

I can’t get over how he’s just sooooo in awe of her 🥹!!! He’s seriously sat there just looking at her and admiring her sweetness and innocence and adorableness uuuhhh it makes my heart swell that he’s actually head over heels for her 🫶🫶🫶

But fuck, you look way too cute — it should be illegal. With your fluffy little ears covering your face bashfully and your tail twitching against his leg as you cuddle into him. Goddamit, why did you have to be so cuddly and cute??

Lloyd would probably say that Ari was completely wrapped around your pinkie finger but the truth is that Ari can’t help but find you so adorable. And it’s not like you misbehave on purpose—you can’t help it that you’re so dumb and can’t understand right from wrong most of the time. Awww Ari making excuses for his baby bunny’s misbehaviours - we love a forgiving king 🥹🫶

How can Ari stay mad at you? When you look so cute and innocent? He can’t help but rain kisses all over your face till you’re giggling once more, your tears drying in your cheeks as you promise never to say the bad word ever again.

Ari says as he tugs your ear playfully before kissing your tears off your cheek.

His huge softness and awe for her with his dark depraved assertiveness (I mean he’s still ready to belt her and put her in her cage if he feels like it 😵🥵) is such a sexi combination omfg

I love that she has just his number as her only phone contact awww, and the emojis she added next to his name hnkjahshw she’s so cute 🥰🫶 And she uses her phone to learn how to cook her man yummy meals and send him adorable goofy snaps that no doubt bring a huge smile to his face 🥹 I can’t, she’s just so precious 🫶

It’s also really sweet that Ari takes some time to get to know her beloved stuffies because he knows she cares so much for them 🥹

Ari smiles, “Good bunny. Now, why don’t you play with your stuffies instead? Who’s this guy?” He picks up a toy at random, and it happens to be a golden stuffed monkey. “That’s Mr Cheeseburger.” “Okay, well, play with Mr Cheeseburger, honey. While daddy does his work.” Ari settled you down on the floor by his feet before going back to his laptop.

Mr Cheeseburger!!! Bestie you always make the cutest names for your fanfic stuffie cinematic universe!!! This is how I see Mr Cheeseburger - he’s got Ari’s blue eyes 🥹 and his dashing red corduroy overalls with the yellow buttons made me think of tomato and cheese on a cheeseburger heehee 🥰

The imagine of baby bunny playing with her cute stuffie beside Ari’s feet whilst he’s sat on a chair on his laptop doing business … HAWT 🔥!!!

And Lloyd and his kitten!! Lloyd the sociopathic heartless ruthless kidnapper + torturer + murderer the absolute menace of a man has captivated me since the second I laid eyes on him when watching TGM, so to know that here he actually loves his kitten whilst also committing sadistic acts of dominance - I am YEARNING, my pelvis is ACHING 😩 I know Lloyd and his kitty are barely side characters but oh Lloyd as a deliciously cruel owner of a hybrid who he’s in love with aaaahhhhhhh I’m sat here internally screaming and externally weeping 😩🫶

- 💙

Ahhh bestie!!! I’m so happy you liked this sweet self indulgent little drabble with Ari and his baby bunny😌🐰 they’re my fav couple fr bc they’re so cute !!

Yes, Ari always makes excuses for his baby bc she’s so cute and innocent and he low-key doesn’t love punishing her! He has to do it bc sometimes he needs to be strict with her but he lets her get away with a lot!

Omg and bestie this is the perfect face claim for Mr Cheeseburger! It looks like a McDonald’s happy meal with the colours!!! I love it! Bunny loves playing with her stuffies by her daddy’s feet bc he sometimes reaches down and pets her head and sometimes he even joins in and plays with her 😭😭😭

Also omg I think I’m gonna have to write a spin-off about Lloyd and his kitten!

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1170: Odin the Dark (Super Smash Bros Ultimate X Fire Emblem)

12:00 p.m. at Big Bang Burgers.........

????: (Holds his Food Up While Having Thoroughly Examine) By the Elder Pope's beard......Of all of the fonest meals I've encounter and consumed over the years, I have never seen one that looks unfamiliar yet so delectable and pleasing to the eyes and scent. (Looks Over to the Trio Couple He's Sharing a Table With) Say, my three newest companions, what is this creative looking meal I am holding in my hands?

Dark Pit: It's a burger.

Misako: Double Cheeseburger to be exact.

Kyoko: (Place her Hand on her Chest and Stick her Other Habd Out in an Elegant Like Fashion) A Double Cheese rich with two beef patties, melted gooey cheese, fresh tomatoes, lettuce, onions, and toasted buns all mixed together to create a heavenly meal before thee~

Both Pitto and Misako raised both their eyebrows at Kyoko in silence.

Kyoko: What? I'm only trying to give it a great impression to our new friend here. (Turns to The Blonde Haired New Guy Beside Her woth a Bright Smile) But seriously though, you should really try their burger, they're super yummy!~ (Went Back to Eating Her Own Burger)

????: If you're certain.....

The young man slowly takes one bite of his burger for the very first time. It wasn't long before his own eyes starts to widened and sparkle up in pure delight.

????: Remarkable......(Continues Eating his Burger) This is a phenomenon handcrafted from the heavens above the rich, clear skies! (Takes Something Out of the Red Basket in Front of Him and Eats It) ('Mm') And these......Appetizers you speak of, are divine worthy!....What are they exactly?

Kyoko: (Giggles Softly) Chili Cheese Fries~

Dark Pit: They're fries all covered in chili and cheese combined. The name's self explanatory really.

????: (Eyes Starts Sparkling Some More) Genius. (Starts Eating More of the Chili Cheese Fries From the Basket)

Misako: Hey, save some those fries for the rest of us, magic boy. We're sharing remember?

????: (Abruptly Stops his Eating) Oh. Uhh...(Chuckles a Bit Lightly and Awkwardly) Apologies for the rude manner. I've been traveling on my own for so long that I forgot to control my hunger there. (Picks up a Niptack From the Table and Dab it on the Both Sides of his Lips)

Kyoko: Oooh~ So you've been a wandering traveler this whole time?

Dark Pit: That would explain why you were taking a sidewalk nap.

Misako: And why you dress like some kind of glamerous jester.

????: (Let's Out an Offended Gasps Before Glaring Misako) Excuse you!? This is no mere jester costume! This is an attire worn by one of the powerful dark mages of the century. Like yours truly before you: ODIN THE DARK! (Sticks Out hus Hand Creating a Small Purple Fire on his Palm)

Kyoko: (Rapidly Clapping at the Display of Magic She and her Boyfriend and Girlfriend are Witnessing) Oooooooh!~

Dark Pit: Odin the Dark, huh?

Misako: (Snickers a Bit) What? Are you like a God or something?

Odin: (Put his Magical Fire Out Before Lowering his Hand Down Letting Out a Heavy, Tiny Bit Dramatic Sigh) I wish! But no, I'm not a God sadly. (Quickly Points Up) B-But I was appointed to be one of the two retainers to serve under the Great, Intelligent Prince Leo of Nohrian Kingdom.

Misako: So like his errand boy?

Odin: No!.....Well.....I mean....('Sigh') Okay, so maybe I did do a few errands here and there, but I have also helped him venture through toughest quests and trials imaginable! We traveled through many lands, villages, and summits, fought and slayed tons upon tons of deadly, mystical monsters and evil forces we've encountered thus far, defeated and dethroned the kingdom's former king who turns out to be a diabolical scumbag from the very beginning, I even saved his and our troops' lives from a man eating serpent once by obliterating it to ashes with my dark sorcery!

Kyoko: (Rapidly Clapping While Her Eyes Starts To Sparkle) Ahhhh!~

Dark Pit: (Starts Nodding to Odin's Journey) Hm, is that right? You did pretty well for a prince's retainer.

Odin: (Politely Bows at Pitto a Bit) Why, thank you, my good man. It was a long, challenging journey for each of us to endure in those days, but it's a blessing to know that we had enough willpower to persevere until our victory was finally seized that day.

Misako: Cool story. (Takes a Sip of her Drink) So how did you even get here to begin with?

Kyoko: Yeah. (Takes a Chili Cheese Fry From the Basket and Eats It) That travel of yours must've been REALLY long if it got you sleeping on the sidewalks.

Odin: ('Sighs Heavily') Ohh you have no idea......After the war came to an end and the truce between Nohr and Hosido was made, I decided to part ways with my prince and comrades as I started my anew journey of my own. It was a long, superly long and exhausting road ahead, so much so that I ended up crawling at one point, which was terrible by the way, would not recommend for traveling sake.

Kyoko: (Raises an Eyebrow in Curiosity) Where did you started crawling at exactly?

Odin: In the desert. An extremely hot one.

Dark Pit/Misako: Yeesh.

Misako: That.....Couldn't be pleasant.

Odin: Not. In the slightest. But luckily, before I was close to preparing for my potential demise, lady luckily was gracious enough to bestow Pitt on me as a giant gold ring suddenly appears before my eyes.

Misako/Kyko/DP: (Eyes Widened at What Odin Said) Giant Gold Ring?

Dark Pit: The hell was that doing there?

Odin: I'm not sure......I just saw it twirling around out of thin air for a few seconds before gaining me it's access. I was too hot and dehydrated at the time, that I didn't try and question what was going on. I just crawled my way inside and before I know it, my entire body was traveling across time and space in a speed of light, as if I was being taken into another world. And load and behold, I was sent to this....."Local Smash Beach" I awoken from. I started roaming around the town shortly after until I eventually passed out on that spot on sidewalk, where I was found by you three: (Extends his Habd Out at the Trio) My new faithful, companions!.......Er.....Question. Do you mind telling me your names are please? It seems I've forgotten to ask.

Kyoko: (Giggles Softly) Not at all!~ My name is Kyoko. A fashion connoisseur, social media geek, and very pretty all around~

Misako: (Points at Herself) The name's Misako. Tough as nails and the last bitch you wanna pick a fight with. (Points at Pitto) And that cute, moody dork of an angel over there is our boyfriend, Pitto.

Dark Pit: I go by Dark Pit, but.....(Rolls his Eyes) Pitto's fine too I guess. (Takes a Sip of his Drink)

Odin: (Smiles Brightly) Ah, so you all formed a trio of romance? (Starts Nodding in Approval) Truly remarkable indeed. By the looks of it, I can tell you three have been happy with one another for quite some time

Dark Pit: (Forms a Proud Smirk on his Face) ('Hmph') Damn right. They can be pain sometimes, but I still love those two dumb-dumbs to ends of the earth. They're practically my everything at this point.

Kyoko: (Heart Begins to Melt in Pure Happiness) We love you to the ends of the earth too, Pitto-Kins!~

Misako: (Smirks Back at her Dark Angel) Expect some loving and cuddles later on tonight, will ya, babe?~ (Winks at DP)

Dark Pit: You got it. (Hears Odin Snickering Before Turning Back to Him) What got you laughing?

Odin: Your nickname is Pitto-Kins?

Dark Pit: Yep. (Glares at his New Friend While Pointing his Bow at him) Call me that and I will end you in a millisecond.

Odin: (Immediately Cease his Snickering While Looking Away) D-Dully noted. (Starts Clearing his Throat Before Notices and Pointing at the Two Portraits From Afar) Say, are those two are the king and queen of this establishment?

Misako: ('Sigh') Sort of. They're only named that because they've completed the Big Bang Burger Challenge in record time.

Odin: (Raises an Eyebrow in Curiosity) Big Bang Burger Challenge?

Dark Pit: It's a challenge where you have to eat this giant burger the quickest. We've done it multiple times already and we ended up losing in every single one. It's impossible at this point-

Odin: (Immediately Got Up From his Seat) Challenge Accepted!

Dark Pit: (Turns Back to Odin) What?

Odin: (Turns to Dark Pit Beside Him) Is your hearing having difficulty there, my angel friend? I said I-

Dark Pit: Oh no, I heard you perfectly. I'm just wondering how stupid you are and how quickly you'll fail.

Odin: (Gasps Before Glaring at Pitto) I beg your pardon!? I'll have you know that I participated in multiple trivial challenges over the years and have accomplished a few of them without breaking a single sweat!

Dark Pit:(Already Unconvinced) A few of them. Really.

Misako: (Raises an Eyebrow) You sure you wanna go through with this, new guy?

Odin: Absolutely! It could try and intimate me all it want. I will persevere this so called challenge without fail and let it be known by all that Great and Powerful ODIN THE DARK has seized the throne of this establishment with his head held high!

Kyoko: (Immediately Gets Up From her Seat as Well All Fired Up) I ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE TOO!~

Dark Pit/Misako: (Gives Their Girlfriend Deadpinned Looks) Seriously?

Kyoko: (Pouts at her Boyfriend and Girlfriend) Yes, seriously! This is a brand new year and I'll be damn if I'm gonna let that dumb challenge get the better of me now! (Turns to Odin) You have room for one more in that throne of yours, Odin?

Odin: (Smiles Brightly) Why, of course! My throne will be shared by all who participate with me!

Kyoko: HELL YEAH!

Dark Pit: (Watches the Duo Firing Themselves Up Along with Misako) We're gonna have chime in on this too, aren't we?

Misako: (Turns to Dark Pit) Well, we can't let 'em do that challenge alone. They'll get destroyed out there.

Dark Pit: ('Sigh') True. I really don't wanna go through this shit again......

Misako: Neither do I, babe, but who knows? With the four of us combined, we could have more chances of winning than we ever had before, right?-

Thirty Minutes Later.........

Everyone: (Groaning in Failure and Fullness)

Misako: I take it back. This challenge is fucking impossible!

Odin: ('Groans') B-But....We've tried so hard.....And got so far......

Dark Pit: In the end, it doesn't even matter. Nothing matters anymore.

Kyoko: My poor tummy.......

Employee: (Walks By the Group's Table) Failed the challenge yet again I see.

Misako: (Glares at the Employee) Yeah. No shit.

Employee: (Gives the Gang a Reassuring Smile) Hey now, keep your head held high. It's like I always say-

Dark Pit: (Rolls his Eyes in Annoyance) "There's always next time". We know. Just.....leave us wailing in our failures in peace already.

Employee: (Casual Shrugs) Okay, buut if you really want my advice, i suggest you-

Pitto/Misako/Kyoko: LEAVE!

Employee: (Finally Walks Away)

Misako: ('Groans in Pure Annoyance') I swear, if I wasn't this full, I'd punch that jerk to kingdom come right about now.

Kyoko: Same. (Stares Smiling a Little) But you wanna know what will make us all better after we leave outta here?~

Misako: (Smirks at her Girlfriend a Little) You know it.

Kyoko/Misako: Shopping Timeeeee!~

Dark Pit: ('Sigh') Can't believe I'm saying this, but sure, why not. (Points at Odin Beside Him) The new guy's in desperate need of a new wardrobe anyways.

Odin: (Eyes Widened by Pitto's Comment) H-Hey! What's wrong with the clothes I'm wearing right now!?

Dark Pit: (Turns to Odin) No offense, man, but it's like Miski said: you look like some jester that's trying way too hard to look glamorous when it's anything but.

Odin: Y-Yeah, well.....(Turns Away While Crossing his Arms and Pouting) Lord Leo says he likes it......

Dark Pit: Well, your lord isn't here now, is he? You're in the modern time now, Odin. It's high time blend in with the crowd like the rest of us.

Odin: (Slowly Turns Back to Dark Pit Before Sighing in Defeat) Very well. But can we stay here for a bit longer? My stomach is killing me way too much for me to stand back up right now......

Dark Pit: Sure thing.

@cyber-wildcat

@albion-93

@caleb13frede

@theweebmaster31

@ma-lemons

@bestpony666

[snowdice]

Creased Hoodies (Chapter 8: Cheeseburger Bribery) [Folds in Time Universe]

Fandom: Sander Sides

Relationships: Logan/Virgil, Janus/Patton (background), Remus & Roman  (background)

Characters:

Main: Logan, Virgil

Appear: Patton, Roman

Mentioned: Janus, Remus

Summary: Virgil just wanted to go on his planned summer research trip to do an anthropological study in 2005 America. However, when he is taken off course by an unknown enemy, he ends up stranded in the summer of 2018 with no way to get back the the 44rd century. Luckily, 2018 happens to be where a certain illegal time agency is based, and he might have an in with one of its agents.

This is the intermission for the story Folds in Paper. It takes place between Folds in Paper Book 1 and Book 2. It also takes place after the first 5 chapter of “Messages for a Hacker” which are side stories in the universe. Check all of this and more out on my Folds in Time Master Post.

Chapter Summary: Logan gives Patton a yummy bribe.

Notes: Time travel AU

This is a fic I’ve been writing on study breaks that you have probably all already seen at this point. I’ve slightly edited it for wording and grammar, but not for content from my previous posts. Feel free to send in asks to direct it because I’m not 100% sure where this is going and you can help decide if you feel so inclined! You can see the process I went through to build this at this link.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

The museum ended up being interesting to Virgil. Though, this was not because any of the exhibits taught him anything more about the events they displayed. No, it was interesting to learn what history people in the 21st century cared about and how they presented past events. It was an angle he’d never really thought about studying, but he might put a pin in the idea of going to different museums from this time period to study how the 21st century viewed history.

His and Logan’s conversation quickly became a game of not only finding the mistakes made in the exhibits, but of hypothesizing why those mistakes had been made: prejudice, missing information, and unreliable secondary sources all contributed. Logan’s contributions were a whole lot less technical than the theories Virgil threw out, however he seemed to keep up well.

They spent a few hours in the museum before deciding it was time to head back to Logan’s apartment. However, not before stopping at a small hole-in-the-wall bar inhabited only by day drinkers.

“I have to bring home a peace offering after running off this morning,” he explained to Virgil when questioned. “Patton will forgive me easier if I do and will be more likely to agree to a time travel mission for me.”

“…And Patton likes… vodka?” Virgil asked with an eyebrow raise.

“No,” Logan replied, seemingly amused at the thought. “This establishment serves cheeseburgers which are apparently the ‘best in the city.’ It is the only thing they cook. They don’t even serve fries.”

Virgil gave the location a dubious look but didn’t question it. Sometimes good food was found in the weirdest of places. The best tacos he’d ever eaten had been bought out of a window on the side of a laundry mat in the late 1900s.

When Logan handed him one of the unlabeled brown paper bags that looked as though it had been dipped in hot oil instead of just its contents, Virgil shot him a raised eyebrow.

“Ah yes,” said Virgil dryly as they left the restaurant, “the quintessential 21st century American meal.”

“You once ate only bagged pepperoni slices meant for pizzas as your breakfast for an entire week,” Logan pointed out.

“I told you that in confidence!” Virgil said, smacking him lightly with the bag of grease.

“And I have told no one,” Logan responded. “Therefore, I have not violated any part of our agreement.”

“You’re making fun of me. That’s a part of the agreement too,” Virgil said.

“I don’t remember there being any clauses like that in our verbal contract,” Logan replied with a slight smirk. Virgil rolled his eyes. “Besides, I’m not truly making fun of you. The decision to fuel your body solely with pepperoni is, while not the best strategy and one that would certainly prove detrimental in the long run, better than eating nothing.”

“Oh,” Virgil said. “Well, good.”

“I am simply citing another example where not perfectly healthy food can be good in the short term,” Logan said.

“But in this case instead of depression eating to stay alive, the purpose is bribery?” Virgil asked.

“Precisely,” Logan said with a smile. “Bribery to end the time distortion and get you back to the proper time.”

“Alright, fair enough,” Virgil conceded. “It’s still horrible nutrition wise.”

“You don’t have to have any if you don’t want it,” Logan promised.

“Oh, no, I’m going to,” Virgil said instantly.

Logan paused and turned to look at him. “Then why are you complaining?”

“I just thought you should know your time has much too greasy food.”

“Thank you for the information,” Logan said dryly. “I’m sure it will be very useful going forward.”

They’d made it to the apartment by then, and Logan stuffed the bag he was carrying under his arm to unlock the door.

“And where have the two of you been all morning?” Patton’s voice called as soon as the two of them walked through the door.

“I have cheeseburgers for you,” was how Logan answered, following his roommate’s voice towards the kitchen. Virgil followed in his wake.

Patton rolled his eyes as Logan set the bag down in front of him. He was sitting at the kitchen table typing on a laptop, but he paused to peak into the bag. “The French toast wasn’t that bad,” he tried to convince them.

“I will take your word on that,” Logan said.

Patton just shook his head and reached into the bag for one of the cheeseburgers. Logan kept looking down at Patton, and obviously that meant something that Virgil didn’t know, because Patton glanced up at him after eating a couple of bites. “What?” he asked, suspiciously.

“Virgil and I went back to the location he arrived at,” Logan told him. “There are signs that one of the devices that cause time distortions caused the crash and is still active in this time.”

“There aren’t any weather disturbances though,” Patton pointed out with a frown.

“It seems to be a more advanced version of the devices we’ve seen so far,” Logan explained. “Which will make it much more difficult to trace.”

“Okay,” Patton said. There was still a good amount of distrust in his tone. “Then what are we going to do about it?”

“Well,” Logan said, “if we could gain access to an older version of the device, we could likely study it and reverse engineer a way to track the current one’s location.”

“And how exactly are we going to get an older version?” Patton asked, eyebrow raised.

“I do understand that you have only been back from your last trip for a little over a week,” Logan said quickly. Patton was already frowning, “and that your last trip through time was a challenging one, but,” he nodded at Virgil, “we do know of the time and place one of these devices exists and I have it on good authority that you have a good chance of finding it, deactivating it, and bringing it home if you travel to Camaguey Cuba 1755.”

Patton groaned. “And judging by the obvious source of this information, I’d be stealing it off of the TPI.”

“Well, yes,” Logan admitted.

“Excellent.”

“At least, in this particular circumstance, you will go into it knowing there will be no major disasters.”

…

Should Virgil… say something? It’d be rude to not mention the whole time shredding almost full party drowning experience, wouldn’t it? Then again… giving him foreknowledge could be a danger to the timestream and he was going into an already messy time disturbance.

Virgil debated with himself on whether general social courtesy should trump the possible destruction of all of space and time.

…

Maybe he’d just suggest a boat if they weren’t already planning to pack him one. Just in case.

“Fine,” Patton said with a sigh, “but you’re finishing your tech updates and my survival pack before I make any jumps. I am not making the same mistakes again.”

Logan nodded. “I can do that,” he agreed. “Give me a list of what you want in your survival pack by tomorrow.”

“I’ve already been working on a list,” Patton said. “It’s in the Google Drive.” He turned back to the computer he’d been working on and typed a few things to pull up a google document. “You can add to it if you think of anything.”

Logan looked over his shoulder at the list. “…Do you really need all of this?”

“Yes,” Patton said, taking another bite of his cheeseburger.

“I will do my best,” Logan said.

“You will do it,” Patton returned.

“Right.”

Patton sighed and turned back to his laptop. “And I’ll start researching Cuba in the 1700s,” he said.

Virgil watched him pull up google on his computer. He looked at the 21st century computer and then back to Patton. He couldn’t help but think of the museum he and Logan had been to earlier, in particular, all of that museum’s inaccuracies.

“Do… you want help?” he offered.

Want to read more? Click below!

Folds in Time Universe Master Post

My Main Masterpost

[vittlemonster]

Bacon double cheeseburger with lettuce, tomato, special sauce. Served with French fries, side salad. Phuket, Thailand 📍 @lemeridienphuket 📱 ••• This burger was actually really good! The patties were juicy and the sauce was tasty! The fries were also great! 🍔 • • • #burger #hamburger #cheeseburger #bacon #fries #frenchfries #lunch #cheatmeal #food #foodie #foodporn #foodstagram #foodphotography #vittlemonster #feedme #instafood #eater #nomnom #foodgasm #yummy #tasty #phuketfood #phuketfoodie #phuketeats #eaterphuket #phuketrestaurant @marriottbonvoy (at Tonson Bar) https://www.instagram.com/p/CnZn4zCLkJl/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[zip001]

we continue to celebrate my sis’ and my nephew’s bday with tons of meat. we had cheeseburgers at social burger for lunch and then did korean bbq (pork and beef combo for two - not shown the pork belly which was grilled perfectly with crispy edges yet still juicy) at honest grill for dinner. my sis does not eat alot of meat but she loved every bite.

the burgers were ginormous and packed with the best crisp pickles i have ever tasted and thick slices of ripe beefsteak tomatoes. i also love the heat from the lightly pickled jalapeños. and the sweet potato fries were so crispy.

the bbq was manned by this awesome server who cut every piece of large piece of meat uniformly and grilled everything perfectly. he would measure the temperature with this gun like contraption and then adjust the heating unit and check again before he grilled the meats. whilst we enjoyed our first time at the establishment, this time was even better with the meats perfectly cooked with a nice char yet still juicy and bursting with flavor. the veggie sides (brussel sprouts, oyster mushrooms, aspargus and white button mushrooms) were all yummy too.

[knucklegagging]

Okay. I officially hate myself.

I went to sleep last night instead of eating dinner. Skipped straight past all the cravings cuz I wanted to weigh less. Convinced I could do it too. Oh the idiocy of me! Had my breakfast, a homemade chicken salad w roasted pecans and cranberries. Inside one 8 inch wrap that’s just 213 calories for Two Tblsp of the salad. “Salad” It’s just chicken, pecans, and cranberries wolled up in the smush of non-fat greek yoghurt and some miracle whip w lots of fresh dill and mint ground up and some black pepper and red onion. One corndog cuz I had to appease the deomns stressing about my lack of fat and that gives me another 220. Lunch had rolled around then and of course came my half a turkey sandwich: One slice of aldi white bread (65) 1.2 oz black pepper turkey (30) .4oz of lite miracle whip (15 for the record just in case anyone needs in on this yummy low cal advice. Cuz a little surely does go such a long ways) and 1.5 strings of black licorice. A whopping total of 159 calories. Plus breakfast and I’m majorly below a grand. But what happens this morning???? WhaAt dost THOU thinkst!??? Of course I’ve gained again. Betting it’s false weight but still fuck the scale. fucking 118.7 I hate these ass-tagious fluctuations. Swear to the sacred cow god of Yore that if I get my fucking period this month I’m going to go on a trecherous killing spree through every garden and none of the ants and cockroaches shall survive. I will exact my wrath on all of them.

I’m so pissed at this point and I’m also fucking starving. But I can’t eat. I can’t eat cuz if I do it’ll only give this assfaced scale more permission to keep fucking creeping. I finally know what the great Sandler felt when he wrote these few phenomenal, evocative lyrics, “Kill me. I’m on my knees pretty pretty please kill me. Somebody kill me please Somebody kill me please I want to die. Put a bullet in my head.” So poetic. I’m gonna be a death by cheeseburger.

[theforumcat]

You said you had home made macaroni! Did you make it yourself? If so, can you share the recipe? Thank you!

oooooooooh. Uhhh.

No? Yes, but no?

A lot of things I know how to make I just Know How To Make. I have a lot of extremely varied cooking heritage (from a dad who loved to cook, to a couple of chef apprenticeships, to devoted study of my family’s sort of folk-hero matriarch) that has resulted in a great deal of foods that I can just… make.

So I know how to make macaroni and cheese, which is actually very easy, but unfortunately the closest thing to a recipe for the macaroni I made the other day would be:

Pasta (it was a kale and spinach spiral, because that’s the pasta I use for everything) - about 3/4 box

Milk (I used goat milk because I tend to use goat milk, but any milk is fine. Thicker is better, so ideally cream or super creamy non dairy. Buttermilk is also yummy) - how much? Idk. The right amount. I think a cup?

Buttermilk powder - a tablespoon. Ish. I just use a regular spoon and eyeball it. It goes in a lidded cup with the milk (I use a jam jar)

Flour - like two tablespoons. Also goes into the milk

Flour - like two tablespoons. Does NOT go in the milk

Butter - probably half a stick but I really wasn’t paying that much attention

Pasta water - one cup, set off the the side. This is like the only thing I used a measuring cup for, and of course it’s just as a reservoir container for something used as needed

Lemon juice - a whole lemon’s worth. I left the pulp in; it wasn’t hurting anyone.

Garlic - a whole head, crushed

White onion - somewhere between a quarter and half cup, minced. Probably closer to half. Big handful.

Cayenne pepper - a little sprinkle

Chicken bouillon concentrate - a bit

Cheese - two cups ish of extra sharp white cheddar, grated

1. Butter in pan. Hot. Melting.

2. Garlic, onion, stock concentrate. Let the onion kinda disappear and the onion and garlic start to smell good. Splash in some lemon juice but not all

3. Put flour over it and whisk in. Let this brown up and brown up and brown up, and do not let it stop moving at any point ever (okay, it’s not actually that fussy, but until you get the hang of making roux start with those instructions)

4. once you have decided that letting it brown up any more is going to scorch, add the rest of the lemon juice and turn the heat down

5. Shake the milk and company container vigorously for a while. If you think you have finished, shake it that much again. Do not accidentally churn the milk into butter, but do get it really good and mixed and frothy

6. Add some cheese to the pan and let it start getting melty, whisking into the butter and lemon

7. Add the milk jar

8. Get it hot enough to maybe simmer but not boil and keep adding cheese a bit at a time until you’re out of cheese. If the sauce gets too thick (flour-gloopy or cheese-stringy) add splashes of pasta water to smooth it back out

9. Cayenne pepper to taste

10. Mix in pasta

I tried to make this as helpful as possible, but I do a lot of cooking wherein “cup” means literally just whatever cup was at the front of the cupboard, or sometimes a really full handful, or just however much I decided to put in and call a cup. A lot of my steps are just “cook it” or “make sauce” or whatever, and while this is a little more specific, because it’s in particular the white cheddar and lemon macaroni variant I made the other day and quite a simple thing, anything with a bigger list of ingredients will vary wildly on what’s actually in there (what’s in Cheeseburger soup? Cheese, beef, tomato paste, vegetables. what vegetables? Vegetables!) or anything that isn’t a specific variant (like if I just gave you a “Mac n cheese recipe”) will often include illuminating entries such as “spices.” Somewhere I have a recipe card that just lists “the spices,” and you just have to know/intuit/decide/guess what that means. There are also a lot of things measured in “assloads,” “some,” and “splooshes” and “splashes” (and the precise amount that qualifies as some or an assload, of course, varies by ingredient). Sometimes I’ll also work in helpful measurements like “bowl full” and it will be several different bowls.

Anyway, I am a disaster cook but the things I make are very good. I’ve got that sweet, sweet ancestral guidance and blessing~

[kofpur]

About me!

Hii! I'm Tost (or Toast) and this is where I post art and gamedev stuff, mainly about my universe "Two Dimensionals".

I also have a Carrd which you can find links to different stuff from me:

Here's the invite link for the Two Dimensionals server where you can talk about it:

Now let's talk about this Two Dimensionals thing..

Two Dimensionals, also known as "The World of Dreams", is a universe that everyone who dreams visits in their dreams (hence the name). It's the universe where your creations come to life, no matter if they're monsters, humans, animals or robots. You can interact with everything in these dreams like you're actually there.

Regarding my work:

You're not allowed to re-upload any of the work I post on any of my socials. That's why I'm posting it myself! If you want to show them to someone, you can just share the link to that post directly.