#and also this is a really funny matchup

[neversetyoufree]

C'mon y'all help me out with this one. As a certified Scum Villain and VnC enjoyer, I can promise you that Vanitas is fundamentally a lot more doomed than Binghe is.

Scum Villain is the story of a man that falls madly in love with Luo Binghe and rewrites his entire narrative/reality and saves him from a life of abject misery just by being kind and loving him. The whole plot is the story of a guy un-dooming his narrative.

The guy that falls madly in love with Vanitas is, uh, not going to do that.

The entire point of The Case Study of Vanitas is that Vanitas is doomed. He's maybe the most doomed by the narrative that a character has ever been.

The first chapter ends with the announcement that he's going to die. He's named after a famous quote and art movement that are meant to show the fact that death is inescapable and living pleasures are meaningless in its face. He constantly wears an hourglass whose sand has already run out. The entire story is a memoir written by the other main character in the future as he mourns his death.

Like I said, the whole thing about Scum Villain is that Luo Binghe is a character in a story who is doomed to a life of violence and hollow misery. Then somebody loves him so much that he rewrites the entire plot and un-dooms him. The whole point of Scum Villain is that Luo Binghe wasn't doomed to commit atrocities and be miserable after all; he just needed someone to love him.

The whole point of The Case Study of Vanitas is that this is impossible. There is no re-writing here. The story only exists in the first place because Vanitas dies. The other main character desperately wants to save him, but he can't (or at least cannot save him from death).

Noé shows Vanitas love and kindness. Noé becomes the first person in years that Vanitas can really open up to and rely on. Noé changes Vanitas for the better like Sqq changes Binghe, and the fundamental tragedy of VnC is that we know it doesn't matter. The first chapter promises us that no matter how close they get and how much Vanitas grows, he's going to die anyway. There is no escape.

He's doomed because the narrative opens with the announcement of his death. He's doomed because, in-universe, the narrative only exists because he dies. You can't get more doomed than being the titular dead man in a series called "A Case Study of How Death is Inescapable and Renders All Else Meaningless."

Binghe goes thru it like no one else, but this isn't about who's suffered most. It's about who's most doomed. (And honestly, I think Vanitas is maybe the only character that could give Luo "four tragic backstories at once" Binghe a run for his money in terms of suffering lmao).

You simply cannot let The Doomed By The Narrative Manga be eliminated in round 1.

Doomed by the Narrative: Side B - Round 1

[sysig]

Go play pretend on your own (Patreon)

[frostfall-matches]

[ matchmaking... ]

@shadykazama : [ match report ready ]

✧ Toyomitsu Taishiro (Fat Gum)

-> [ Friendly, carefree, self-assured, and relaxed. A natural leader as a hero. ] He’s very positive and has a good sense of humor but is mature enough to know when to get serious. All in all, he checks off a lot of your boxes for what you look for in others. A relationship with him should be very comfortable overall - he is good at communication and tends to be very level-headed, so heated arguments aren’t likely. Talking to him and getting to know him is relatively easy, even for you, who struggles with social interactions with people you’re unfamiliar with.

-> [ Needless to say, he loves when you spoil him with food. ] You’re sweet and mindful, keeping track of all of his favorite snacks and sugary beverages. It becomes routine for you to pick up a few extra snacks for him when you go on personal snack runs, and you’re happy to surprise him by dropping off a little care package at his agency. Your tendency to to get or make extra food just to share with others works very well for him. All that being said, Taishiro is down for any date that involves food at some point or another - the guy is almost always hungry.

-> [ Given his love for food, he’s going to pay close attention to your own food preferences. ] Very quick to pick up on your love for most fruits, strawberries in particular. Definitely makes it a point to keep fresh fruit at his place for you, or bring you some when he’s off patrol and heading to your place to spend time with you. He also keeps an eye out for any mint or mint chocolate treats and desserts. If you’re trying out a new dish at a restaurant and it’s a bit too meat-heavy for your tastes, he’s happy to switch or to at least eat any meat that you pick out so it’s not just left on your plate.

-> [ Happy to spend his evenings with you playing video games or putting together puzzles. ] Honestly, it doesn’t really matter what you two do as long as it’s relaxing and he’s able to spend some time in your presence. But puzzles and video games can be both entertaining and relaxing, and it’s a good way for you two to bond. When it comes to puzzles, he really likes trying to figure out one half of the puzzle while you start on the other half, hoping to eventually meet in the middle. As for video games, he finds co-op puzzle games (such as Portal) to be a bit more engaging than fighting games, but he’ll still get a bit competitive with the latter if you’re into them.

-> [ The sweetest, most supportive partner you could have. ] It doesn’t matter if you have struggles in your personal life or professional life - Taishiro is here to listen and lift you up in whatever way you need. His compliments are thoughtful and genuine, and he’s good at noticing positive things about yourself or your work that you might miss by being too self-critical. He very much encourages you to try out new things and is quick to reassure you if you don’t do as well as you initially hoped. If you’re worried about looking stupid trying something out on your own, he will absolutely try it out with you.

-> [ A very capable support hero duo. ] Fat Gum can definitely go on the offensive when he needs to - he’s been trained and is able to utilize his quirk in a way that does quite a bit of damage - but primarily plays a support role in situations where other people can manage the bulk of the fighting. Your quirk resonates very well with his, and he’s all the more confident when you two happen to be on a case together, knowing that you both work well together and can cover each other’s weaknesses with ease.

-> [ Extremely patient when you’re upset and angry. ] Regardless if your ire is directed at him, at someone else, or at a particular situation you’ve found yourself in. Taishiro prides himself on his communication, but emotions get the best of everyone at some point or another. You’re self-aware enough to recognize that expressing and communicating your anger is not your strong suit - and that’s plenty good enough, in his eyes! If you feel you can’t verbally express what’s bothering you, he’ll be there for you while you process things. He’s pretty good at figuring out if you need space or if you’d be alright with some quiet company, but appreciates when you’re able to let him know what you need from him.

-> [ He seems the type to really like animals. ] Being a pro hero limits his time to care for a pet, especially when living solo, so he just hasn’t really bothered getting one. But if you two ever move in together and you’re interested in keeping a pet (or if you already have one which would of course be part of the household as you two merge your living spaces), he’s all for it. Doesn’t matter what type of animal it is, he’s happy to do the research and listen to what you already know. Whatever the animal is, though, he’s definitely the type to spoil it with treats and attention.

[front-facing-pokemon]

[ratatatastic]

all the rumblings of the outdoor game at loan depot being battle of florida... i understand... why do you people personally hate me though

[arundolyn]

hot(?) guilty gear take:

danger time is fun and not nearly as bad a mechanic as some people like to claim. they're just salty when they lose to it

[worstcharacterpoll]

[Image description: A tournament bracket of 32 contenders, labeled "Tumblr's most hated." The matchups on the left are Vriska vs. Pearl from SU; Rex from Victorious vs. Rick Sanchez; Ansem the Wise vs. Gul Dukat; Kylo Ren vs. Kokichi Ouma; Scrappy Doo vs. Sheldon Cooper; Pierre from Stardew vs. Mort from Madagascar; Seraphine from League vs. Heimskr; and Jurgen Leitner vs. Andre Glacier. The matchups on the right are Walter White vs. Light Yagami; Buck Cluck vs. Ross Geller; Bramblestar vs. Starlight Glimmer; Goro Akechi vs. Pariston Hill; Katsuki Bakugo vs. Berdly; Angel Dust vs. the Impostor; Olaf from Frozen vs. Hooty; and Zenos viator Galvus vs. Tony Stark. The bracket is red on a black background. End ID]

Here is the official bracket for the most Hated Character on Tumblr! Each round will last 24 hours, with a 12 hour break in between. Round 1 should start Feb 9, 2023 at 9:00 AM CST.

As a reminder, this tournament is for the characters that you hate the most, so always vote for your least favorite of the two options. The winner will be publicly executed.

FAQ under cut:

Q: Why did you put in x character and not y character? Aren't there more hateable characters from that franchise?

A: I wanted to keep the competition light-hearted, funny, and interesting. I intentionally avoided most shitty parent characters, dictators, characters who were meant to be hated, etc., as well as characters heavily associated with bigotry and sexual assault, and gravitated towards characters that were more divisive in fandom. Exceptions were only made for characters I am familiar enough with and can use my own judgement for. Using Zenos as an example: He is a villain who is very evil and meant to be hated, which I mostly avoided when taking suggestions for things I wasn't familiar with myself. However, he's very divisive between people who think he's a good interesting villain, people who don't think he's a good villain and don't like him in the story at all, and people who want him carnally. Walter White is also meant to be hated, but he has a meme status, and as a villain protagonist I think he's more interesting than most "meant to be hated" characters. Also, there are certain franchises that I simply didn't want to include. If JK Rowling wasn't such a real and horrible political presence, owing all her influence to Harry Potter, I would've definitely put Snape on the poll. As it stands, I don't really want to give HP any attention. TL;DR answer: Because it's funnier that way

Q: But I LIKE that character :(

A: As mentioned before, I specifically gravitated more towards characters who are more divisive rather than universally hated. They are usually more interesting, and there is more variety with those types of characters - you don't have shitty dad character #1 vs. shitty dad character #2. I actually looked for "anti-(character)" tags and discourse about that character when making decisions about who to include. lol If you actually like some of these characters (uh, my condolences), vote against them in their respective matchups.

Q: Is it too late to suggest a replacement?

A: Yes.

Q: Why are you doing this?

A: I feed off of hatred and violence. I want to see who tumblr users REALLY hate.

Q: Why Pearl?

A: It was quite a while ago now so I get it if people don't remember, but Pearl discourse used to be a big thing and people argued that she was irredeemable for many of the things she did early on in the show. If you remember the "Pearl hates the Irish" meme, that was a parody of how much people hated her

Q: Why Hooty?

A: I haven't seen the Owl House but I'm told many people think he's annoying. Also he's voiced by Alex Hirsch and fuck that guy he did my boy Ford so dirty I'm still mad about this

Q: Why Starlight Glimmer?

A: MLP:FiM is another show I didn't really watch but she was a villain who got redeemed and became a main character and a lot of people think her redemption arc was rushed and botched and she actually made a lot of people quit watching the show. One of my close friends really really really hates her and I don't think that's an isolated incident

Q: Why Berdly?

A: Annoying. Personally I think his arc of becoming less annoying was pretty fun but a lot of people still hate him.

Q: Why Bakugo (instead of Mineta)?

A: I actually debated this a lot and held a preliminary poll which Mineta actually won. But then I decided democracy is dead because Mineta really wouldn't be as interesting as Bakugo in this tournament because he's basically universally hated. Bakugo is more interesting because people who hate him REALLY hate him, while people who love him REALLY love him. Kind of like Vriska. I think. I never read Homestuck and I don't plan on ever doing so.

Q: Why Tony Stark?

A: He's a heavily divisive character because he's a war profiteer billionaire with a superiority complex, but the narrative treats him as a morally pure hero. Also, he's MCU Spider-Man's mentor and most of MCU Spider-Man is basically defined by Tony Stark and he's not allowed to be his own character. There's a bunch of other stuff but I didn't watch and I don't care about most of the MCU. Personally I'm a really big Spider-Man fan and I despise him for what he did to Peter Parker but I shall refrain from making this a long rant.

Q: Why did you include characters that you're not familiar with?

A: I didn't want to exclusively have characters from my interests. I wanted a bit of variety. Before the poll started, I accepted submissions for candidates, and basically trusted submitters to send in decent characters. Some of the characters I ended up with may go against the vague guidelines I set for myself, which kind of sucks, but that's how it is now.

Q: This bracket sucks.

A: Make your own tournament then. I'm just some guy making a tournament on tumblr dot com for free. Don't take it too seriously.

[dredgesnails]

i very badly want a double life 2: electric boogaloo but crucially no one is allowed to be paired up with their soulmate from the first one (except ranchers) and also lizzie and gem and mumbo and skizz are there too. anyway here are some pairings i think would be funny or interesting or would please me personally:

mumbo + scar: complete the mumscarian circuit

mumbo + lizzie: statistically the worst players right after jimmy. lizzie died before him once and she can do it again (and take mumbo with her)

grian + jimmy: nightmare scenario for the both of them

pearl + gem: an unfair matchup as they would win no problem but i love them together and i think we deserve them together after the events of secret life

scar + tango: wildly unpredictable. scar takes damage constantly but (almost) always escapes by the skin of his teeth. tango on the other hand has blown himself up before

pair them up best + worst in order (pearl + jimmy, gem + mumbo, scott + lizzie etc) and see if they manage to balance each other out. this takes out some of the randomness but there are still some fun duos i think would come out of it (etho + bdubs, skizz + martyn, impulse + bigb) and i also think pearl could keep jimmy alive long enough to not die first

and for lore reasons:

grian + bigb: lets see how the secret soulmates can handle being real soulmates

scott + jimmy: ok i know the last time they were together jimmy doomed them both with his curse but this time it’ll be different scott’s lucky now

cleo + etho: the progression of divorced with kids > roomies > soulmates tickles me

ren + martyn: i miss renchanting

+ bonus because i have been thinking about who i would want joining the life series a lot. this is who i want to join

doc + anyone really but mostly grian: okay seriously i imagined doc in the life series once and now ive been consumed by the desire to see it. especially with his health linked to grian. think about it. would be fun with ren also for entirely opposite reasons

[hotvintagepoll]

hotvintagepoll Hot Men Tournament rundown thoughts

I promised a final recap post and here it is! I'll try to cover the questions I saw the most as we closed out the bracket, reveal my ✨secret faves✨, and talk about the biggest surprises and turnarounds I saw in the brackets.

Yes, this will get silly.

ROUND 1

As I've mentioned before, I worked off submissions for who to include in the bracket, so if your fave was missing—that's why. I used submitted pics when I could, but many submissions didn't have one, so I tried to find decent ones in the couple of days I had to prep the first round (I didn't always succeed). By decent, I mean pics where 1) I could see the hot man's face, so not too much moody lighting, and 2) hopefully conveyed something about his vibe, even if it was a funny thing (yes, I showed Howard Keel in full Shakespeare get-up—I'm not beyond putting up a pic because I think it's funny). I didn't know all of these hotties going in, so some I had to guess with, but when I could I tried to pick shots that had a touch of the humor, class, or genre of the hot man.

For Round 1 and Round 2, I grouped the hotties by each decade, so only '60s actors ran against '60s actors, '50s against '50s, etc. Male beauty standards shifted pretty dramatically over the sixty years this tournament covers, and I didn't think it was fair to pit dramatically different styles of beauty against each other immediately.

I pitted hot men against each other based on opposing energies—hot vs cold, elegant vs rough, comedy vs drama, etc.. I wanted the polls to be interesting and I've never liked brackets where everyone is clearly in different "lanes" until the finals! I also wanted to make polls where I couldn't tell which way they would swing, so by setting matchups that felt opposite but equal, I got to be surprised by the bracket results too.

The only reason we had any three-way matchups is because the amount of men submitted didn't round to a nice bracket number. I don't like them generally and find them really hard to balance.

Secret faves from Round 1—I am a James Coburn girlie and knew he would die immediately, so that was not a shock but a bummer. I similarly knew Robert Preston is only magical to people who have seen him do His Little Dance Routines in That One Iowa Musical, but it would have been nice for him to last longer.

Surprises—Jeremy Brett was a last-minute add and I didn't think he really had a shot, so I put him in as a third wheel on the Sean Connery/Dean Martin matchup. Little did I count on the Granada girlies. (Always count on the Granada girlies.) The Elvis/Peter Falk poll was the first one to gain any momentum—Elvis was winning for the first 24 hours but then, my god, did Peter fight back. I didn't expect the Tab/Toshiro poll to make that bad a mincemeat out of Tab—people have different tastes, and I thought the people who like blonde sunny All American white boys might turn out for The Blonde Sunny All American White Boy. Sorry, Tab. I hope you've peeled yourself off the sidewalk by now. And, of course, I was SHOCKED and APPALLED that James Cagney would be obliterated by, of all people, Mr. Bing Crosby.

SHADOW BRACKET

The fervor of the Harold Lloyd and Fredric March people inspired the shadow bracket, and I couldn't be happier at the way it's gone. You were right, the original photos I had for them did suck. Cunty Harold Lloyd in his little life guard uniform was a revelation.

ROUND 2

For Round 2 I'd gotten a better sense of who was doing well and who was not, so a little of that came into play, but I mostly paired on vibes again. (I genuinely think this is a good way to make a fun, challenging bracket.)

Secret faves—Noooo not hot dilf Dick Van Dyke don't take my hot inventor dilf away uwu!!! (He was up against Marlon Brando. I would have been shocked if he'd won but for a minute there, a glorious second, it was possible.) I am also a big old softie for David Niven's particular brand of repression to the point of volcanic rupture, but he is one of many hotties who does not look good without moving and speaking so I figured he would be going.

So much beef—hey! hey you. I ran a poll asking if we are horny for dancers. Yes, was the resounding poll response. Where, then, did all the fucking dancers go? This round we lost Donald O'Connor, Fred Astaire, Harold Nicholas; Sammy Davis Jr., Danny Kaye, Frank Sinatra, and Bing Crosby all sneak into this category as well, by token of having been in the kind of big MGM bang-a-pan-and-put-on-a-show beloved bedlams we all watch at Christmastime. Round 2 voters HATED musical matchups. Except for one.

The one—SOUND OF MUSIC, the voters said, WE LOVE SOUND OF MUSIC. we will KILL the man responsible for salad dressing because of the SOUND OF MUSIC. every other dance man can die but THIS man dances a FOLK DANCE with JULIE ANDREWS in a GARDEN. I did not go into this poll with strong opinions about Christopher Plummer or Paul Newman but my god did I leave having heard all of them.

Surprises—James Edwards/Anthony Perkins matchup was a nail biter! Conrad vs Oscar kept me up at nights. Surprised to see Basil Rathbone survive against Sabu Dastagir—both very fetching, but Sabu had some top-tier propaganda. Cesar Romero put up a surprisingly stiff fight against Cary Grant (an omen for things to come).

Oh horrors—horror heroes surprisingly fell all over the place. I was sure either Bela Lugosi or Turhan Bey would sweep their three-way matchup, but Michael Redgrave of all people carried through; Boris Karloff went down against Johnny Weismuller (while holding hands with fellow fallen hottie Fred Astaire), but at least we got his guacamole recipe before he went. Delighted to see that the Venn diagram of the coalitions who support horror hero Vincent Price and funny lil guy Donald O'Connor is a circle.

Secret faves pt 2—oh yeah, I fucking love Danny Kaye and Donald O'Connor. RIP funny lil kings.

ROUND 3

For some reason this was the hardest one to make matchups for. Oh no, all the men are hot.

Secret faves—Michael Redgrave i love you SO much you're SUCH an idiot, how did you make it as far as round 3. I want you to sweep the whole thing but you should NOT be surviving this. I love you, here's a kiss, go home.

Surprises—Marlon Brando is gone! Errol Flynn is gone! Christopher Plummer exhausted himself beating the organic oreos man to death and goes out with a whimper. Beginning to actually see the roots of #mifunesweep as Tyrone Power, a hot man very different from Burt Lancaster, who was in turn very different from Tab Hunter, also gets swept under the wheels of the unbeatable toshirobus. Conrad Veidt finds that no amount of purring svelte eccentricity compares to the people who will fuck a young Lt. Columbo.

SHADOW BRACKET 2

Cannot believe it but Veidt loses this one too. Perkins sweeps and becomes Prince of the Shadow Realm!

ROUND 4

At this point I've set a formal bracket that I'm following.

Secret faves—this isn't secret anymore, but losing Jimmy Stewart hurt.

Surprises—The Gene Kelly/Jeremy Brett matchup was the diciest one all round, moving back and forth between the two by sometimes .01%. Far more surprising, however, was Cary Grant getting eliminated before the quarterfinals. Grant has never been my type, but he is famous for being THE type, so while the writing had been on the wall the whole tournament—how on earth did Michael Redgrave even get 36% in his matchup?!—seeing Grant go down was a SHOCKER. Other fallen hotties included Gregory Peck, James Dean, Harry Belafonte, and Sessue Hayakawa. Peter Falk finally met his match in Omar Sharif.

QUARTERFINALS

Secret faves—I don't know if it counts as a secret fave, tbh, as my horses in the race really went out with Stewart, but I do have a soft spot here worth mentioning. Here's my childhood dog, Keaton.

The resemblance is truly striking, and yes, he was short, fast, and not prone to smiling.

Surprises—I couldn't predict how any of these matchups would go down, but I was most interested in Keaton vs Sharif, as they are both SO hot in SUCH different ways.

SEMIFINALS:

This was such a good batch of semifinalist contestants. By this point I think we could all tell Mifune was unstoppable (though I thought Sharif might give him a run for his money), but I really didn't know which way Robeson vs Poitier would flip.

FINALS:

I wanted Sidney Poitier to pull a last-minute sweep out of nowhere, but alas, Toshiro is just THAT GOOD (maybe. I will admit that I find Toshiro's domination a little hard to believe, given the variety and hotness of all his competitors; the man is hot but all these men are hot). I'm still happy with how the tournament went.

FINAL MEDITATIONS:

Biggest shock of a dropout: the loss of Paul Newman

Biggest "you people have no taste": the loss of James Cagney

Biggest victory: Paul Robeson making it to the semifinals over often-assumed champion Gregory Peck

Biggest coalition who deserve justice: dancing men

Biggest ask character: vents anon (currently eating Laurence Olivier)

Biggest, uhh, anything: how many of you are here! I genuinely thought it would be me and 10 other people voting for the whole tournament. I'm thrilled it took off like this!

I think that's everything, but I'm happy to answer addl asks. And THANK YOU to everyone for your tags, rants, impassioned propaganda, beautiful pics, and love for the hot men! See you for the ladies!

[loving-family-poll]

Welcome to the 2nd annual Ultimate Incest Tournament!

Heeeeeeere are our matchups for this year! (Some disclaimers: I swear to GOD that spn v homestuck in round 1 is just what the generator put and I left it like that because I thought it was funny as fuck. I also swear that samjohn was the most popular spn ship submitted which surprised me too ok don't go accusing me of leaving deanjohn out on purpose. Anyway.) These 32 lucky ships will get to chance to fight for the prize!

Accepting propaganda for any of these ships, drop your argument for your favs in my inbox within the next few days and it can make it onto the poll! Polls open sometime soon idk I'm busy. I guess tomorrow hopefully I want to get this thing going before Christmas because that would be funny. I also guess I should start with Jesus' branch lmao

I'm so sorry if your ship didn't make it, I really appreciate all the submissions. Happy shipping!

[pokemonbattletournament]

We have Pokémon at Home!

Round 1 matchup 12

Propaganda for Macho Legs Cat:

"I mean. Just look at him."

"a quintessential and accessible anti-alien damage dealer and useful generalist. also looks really cool when you use it with Beefcake Cat."

Propaganda for Komasan:

"the Eevee to Jibanyan's Pikachu, the other little guy from the best monster tamer game"

"funny lion dog eat a ice cream"

More info under the cut

More information about Macho Legs Cat:

More information about Komasan:

[sysig]

Do I know you? Do I know you? Do I know you? (Patreon)

[writing-blog-iguess]

Online Matchup 2

Summery: Y/n gets sick and gets a surprise. Too bad they're a little out of it, otherwise they would see it.

Warning: teasing, fluff, swearing, mistakes

a/n: I tried something new, with the sections Jason's pov and readers. Let me know if you like it. Otherwise, enjoy!

Words: 2174

ao3

Series master list

-----

September 29

Y/N: (3:04 am) Do you think if they didn’t kill Eddie that Steddie would be a thing?

Jason: (3:04 am) Why the ever loving fuck are you awake at three in the morning?

Y/N: (3:04 am) College student

Jason: Aside from that?

Y/N: Sick

Jason: You seemed fine a few days ago

Y/N: A lot can happen as time passes Also, it’s the season where the weather doesn’t make up its mind and it’s cold the one day and warm the next day

Jason: All true all true And it doesn’t help that mr freeze attacked the university the day either

Y/N: I hate the fact that we’ve known each other for like a day, talked for hours And you can read me

Jason: I am a man of many talents I also read the news Though one can say the same for you

Y/N: Ew, who reads the news? I’ll give you that

Jason: I do thank you very much So is it the flu or just a cold

Y/N: Can’t tell But my body feels like it’s been hit by a truck I can’t breathe and I’ve been throwing up a storm I want to die

Jason: Can’t be that bad

Y/N: I’ve been sick for the past three days, I haven’t been school and the only time I’ve left my bed was to throw up It’s that bad

Jason: That sounds like a flu Have you eaten anything? Taken anything?

Y/N: I’ve eaten some crackers, can’t really stomach anything else

Jason: Would you mind giving me your address

Y/N: Sir, I did not message you for a booty call I am a lady of the highest regards

Jason: You’re funny when your sick I was gonna send you some soup that I have when I’m sick But if your gonna be like that, then never mind 

Y/N: … Chicken noodle?

Jason: Only the very best

Y/N: I’m sorry, I’ll give it to you if you give me your number

Jason: Bold words coming from a lady

Y/N: Wow

Jason: You said it

Y/N: I’ve changed my mind

Jason: No you haven’t

Y/N: You're not a mind reader, are you?

Jason: No, but it’s soup and you're sick, are you really gonna say no to free soup?

Y/N: …. I am not

—

After saving Jason’s number to your phone, and confirming that it was actually Jason, you sent him your address. Tossing your phone to the side, you snuggled into your blankets and fell asleep.

A few hours later, a knock at the door is what wakes you from your nap. Blinking away the sleep, you look around confused on why you’re sleeping on the couch. Stretching, you grab your phone to see that soup is gonna be on the way soon.

At another knock, you slowly get up from the couch and grab your wallet and a mask. After putting it on, you open the door. “Sorry. I am a little disoriented.”

“No worries,” the food delivery person said, handing the bag to you. Taking it, you set it aside before opening your wallet.

“How much do I own you?” you asked, and he shook his head.

“There’s no need for it, it was already paid for,” he answered. You looked up and squinted at him as a sense of familiarity hit you.

“Are you sure?” He nodded and sent you a smile. Sighing in defeat, you let your arms drop. “Alright if you’re sure.” And before he can leave, you're quick to add on, “do I know you from somewhere? You seem familiar.”

“Don’t think I could forget a pretty face like yours,” he said, adjusting his hat down a little. Any other day, you would have scoffed and shut the door. But today wasn’t any other day, and you were sick, and that meant your face bloomed like a tomato.

“Aren’t you a charmer,” you managed out, and he smiled as if you said something funny. “Well, um, thank you for the soup. I’ll let you get back to your night.”

“Hope you feel better,” he said, tipping his hat and leaving before you could say anything back. You peaked out and watched him leave before closing the door.

You stared at the soup for a bit, feeling warm for a different reason. Blinking away the warm feeling, you went about and poured yourself a bowl of soup. Once the bowl was finished, you washed up and went back to bed, hoping to sleep off the rest of the flu.

—

Jason 7:30am: Did the soup make it okay? How are you feeling? Okay, I’m going to take the silence that your sleeping Will be check in later 

Jason: Okay, it’s been twelve hours birdie, should I be worried?

Y/N 2:30pm: Holy FUCK What was in that soup?

Jason I take it you’re feeling better

Y/N: Sooooo much I feel like a new person Imma needs that restaurant name. I bet they have good food

Jason: The best But I’m afraid I will not be sharing that information

Y/N: Boooooo

Jason: Where have you been anyways?

Y/n: Sleeping I woke up maybe once or twice to go to the bathroom I’m sore now though, so I’ve been walking around What was in that soup?

Jason: Chicken, spices, water I don’t know, whatever else is in the soup

Y/n: Well it was good soup Compliments to the chief

Jason: Lol I’ll let him know

Y/n: Or I could do it 

Jason: I will not be giving you the restaurants name

Y/n: Boooo

Jason (11:30pm) How does one kill someone and make it look like an accident?

Y/N: Depends If in hospital, inject air in the iv heart attack 

Jason: That wasn’t meant for you

Y/N: If not, still inject air and it’ll still look like a heart attack You just have to hope the M.E doesn’t look for the injection sight. Well, you could always burn that part but I think that’s just a dead give away Hide it in a tattoo, should work Maybe

Jason: The way you didn’t have to think about that should have me worried 

Y/n: Who was it meant for then?

Jason: My brothers

Y/N: I should be worried that you have conversations like these with them But somehow I’m not surprised 

Jason: Excuse me?

Y/N: You’re excuse

Jason: Funny Why do you even know that anyways?

Y/N: Don’t worry about it

Jason: Now I’m going to worry about it

Y/N: But you don’t need too

Jason: Mm, still gonna worry

Y/N: If you say so Man, how out of it was I?

Jason: Don’t know, you seemed coherent enough when we talked Although you did say you weren’t a booty call type of women

Y/N: I’m not But while talking to you, I must have felt a little better Because these emails are not it Prof, am sick, no school. Nobody yours, y/n

Jason: That was beautiful 

Y/n: And all they said was to get better before coming back to class I don’t think I could ever show my face there again

Jason: I’m sure they’ve had plenty of emails like that before

Y/n: Even still

Jason: They won’t care You need to go to class if you want to graduate 

Y/n: I hate that your right

Jason: Always am

Y/n: We’ll see about that

Jason: How are you feeling now?

Y/n: Better I think the worst of it is over Had a shower and eat something that wasn’t soup so things are looking up Not ready to run a marathon but ready enough to tackle the homework that I missed

Jason: That’s good Where were you when the mr freeze attacked anyways?

Y/n: Library The fucking library! Nowhere near the science building! But some asshole decided to bring the fight away from the science building Which I get, can’t really fight around all the chemicals it has But why did they have to move it towards the library Whenever I find the person who’s idea that was its on sight

Jason: Why didn’t you run away?

Y/N: I dunno Maybe because I needed to finish the project that was due the next day But to be fair, I wasn’t the only one who didn’t run away either Like the majority of the students stayed to either watch or finish their homework

Jason: College students are a different bread

Y/N: Death means nothing when your homework is half your grade

Jason: You’re all bark and no play, aren’t you?

Y/n: Only when there’s consent

Jason: Good to know 

—

“You aren’t supposed to be on your phone when on patrol, Todd,” Robin reminded, annoyed. Jason made a face behind his mask, but kept his attention on his phone.

“I think I’m free to do whatever I want,” he said, snorting at the oncoming messages you had sent about wanting to fight the person who thought it was a great idea to lead Mr. Freeze away from the science building and towards the library. He had half a mind to tell you it was Nightwing, only for the sole purpose of riling you up. But he decided against it, wanting you to feel better completely before teasing you. “Besides, it's slow tonight.”

“Did you forget we’re on a stakeout?” Robin asked, leaning over to reach for the phone. Jason stepped back and shrugged.

“I’m paying attention.”

“Not nearly as much as you should be,” he grumbled, crossing his arms and turned back to the building Bruce had wanted someone to look at. “Who are you talking to anyways? You don’t have any friends.”

Jason squawked, offended. “I have friends!” he defended, turning to look at his younger brother. Robin only snorted and shook his head.

“Superhero friends, and I’m pretty sure you don’t talk to them nearly as much as you're talking to the person you are now,” he pointed out. Which is true, over the last week or so, Jason found that he was talking to you more than any of his other friends. But he wasn’t going to tell that to Damian. “So, who are you talking to?”

“Why do you care?” he shot back, turning back to his phone.

“You’re glued to that thing constantly,” he said and just then their earpieces crackled coming to life before hearing Dick’s voice filter through.

“Little D’s got a point Jay. Whenever I see you, you're typing away and smiling like someone made a joke or something,” Dick said.

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“No, but you giggle like a schoolgirl with a crush,” Tim said. Jason rolled his eyes, he wasn’t that bad that everyone noticed. Was he?

“Maybe he met someone?” Duke said and the line went dead before it exploded with everyone’s yelling. Jason winced, and turned off his ear piece, relishing in the silence.

“Is Thomas right? You met someone and that’s who you’re talking to?” Robin asked, watching Jason with a calculated look.

“For me to know, and you to never find out,” Jason answered before leaving him be. He ignored Damian’s “we’ll find out eventually!” as he walked. Once he was far enough away, he sat at the edge of the building, and turned back to his phone.

—

Jason: Do you think anyone would notice if I got rid of my brothers?

Y/N: A hundred percent Bruce would know … Well, it depends if he pays attention to how many kids he has Your sisters might notice though Doesn’t Bruce have a butler?

Jason: Yeah, Alfred

Y/N: He will definitely notice And all of Gotham So I’m afraid your suck with them

Jason: Damn And here I was hoping to be an only child

Y/N: Should have thought about that before meeting Bruce

Jason: Funny

Y/N: I try to be Are they giving you grief?

Jason: You can say that They found out about you Well not you specifically They know I’m talking to someone

Y/N: Oooh Am I your dirty little secret?

Jason: Why did you have to say it like that? And no, you’re not my dirty secret I wanted this to be my thing before they started hounding me with question about you

Y/N: Okay that’s fair Wanna get to know me before introducing me to le family I get that

Jason: Have you told anyone yet?

Y/N: Nope

Jason: Now who’s the dirty little secret?

Y/N: You apparently

Jason: I’m okay with that

Y/N: Oh my god I have to go, finish this homework and sleep before class tomorrow

Jason: Yeah, me too. Not the homework part, but I promised Bruce I’d help him with something Talk to you tomorrow

Y/N: Good luck Night!

Jason: Night

[br4inr0tx]

To close out this, here’s @daemontargaryennn ! Hope you like it bestie <3

tw - stalking, gore mention (not really tho)

Your Homicipher matchup is… MR. GAP !!

• Mr. Gap is the best for you. His silly attitude, mixed with his psychopathic tendencies is the ideal thing for you.

• Your runner up would be Mr. Crawling, although I feel like he’d be too soft for your liking. I know you like spicy men.

• He likes seeing you in new clothes everyday. He has a fun time guessing what you’re going to look like everyday. Sometimes he’ll even compliment you outright if he feels like giving you extra special attention.

• Mr. Gap is extroverted, for sure, though as you know if he doesn’t want to talk he’ll say it and leave immediately with little to no goodbye.

• He’s very silly and out of pocket, and I’m sure the both of you have plenty of inside jokes between the two of you.

• Luckily, you’re very easy going! Not many people can take his sick and twisted humor. That humor consists of gritty, dark humor.

• If you guys get the chance to, you’d most likely spend a lot of time watching true crime and videos in general. Though he’s also quite a yapper, and often interjects with unnecessary commentary while you guys watch.

• Anthropology is mad cool! He’d love to practice on the physical parts with your body parts, if you’d let him.

• Mr. Gap can’t draw for shit. He’s the type of guy to ask for you to draw him all the time though, and won’t stop until you do.

• Like learning different languages? Well, his language is just another one to add to your belt! Sometimes he’ll start spilling out big words just to piss you off. You might need to ask Mr. Silvair for help during those times to translate for you, since Mr. Gap doesn’t seem to care if you understand what he’s saying him or not.

• He really enjoys playing video games with you! Just know though, if you hand him a controller you’re never going to see it again.

• If he had a favorite hobby, it would be reading manga and different magazines. Reading with you would be another fun past time for you guys.

• Speaking of which.. does he know how to speak the set language MC speaks? He reads magazines from the human realm but I’m not sure if he understands them or not. Just some word for thought.

• Also, please do some self care on this dude. He’s TERRIBLY crusty. I’m not sure he’ll let you, or even like it for that matter, but it’s worth a shot.

• You both are very straight to the point, making the communication between you both very good. Always a nice thing in a relationship!

• This guys loves the gossip and drama. I’m sure he has all the tea of the other world, and he’s so ready to tell you all about it.

• He’s a pretty loud talker too. I headcanon him with some kind of smoker voice, something very raspy. Also the kind the can make you shiver with pleasure, no matter what language he speaks.

• I do think Mr. Gap can be a good listener when he wants to be, and even helps you out of your most sticky situations, with a payment of a body part of yours. This guy is literally magic with some of the things he can fix, no wonder he doesn’t do it for free.. unless you force him.

• He steals all the snacks you bring the millisecond you turn away. Bro is such a big back smh..

• He’d probably make fun of you when you trip over something. Feel free to poke fun back at him, although that might make him go away with a frown on his face. This guy always disses, but never seems to take it well all the time.

• He gives you time to yourself when you need it most of the time.. at least that’s what you think. He’s most likely stalking you when you don’t see him, kind of like a lost puppy.

• Most of the time though, you’re with him a lot. He’ll never leave you for too long anyway, he always comes back.

• I think he listens to all music he deems funny amongst the human genre. That being said, he fucks with your tastes.

• He’ll give gifts if you give him one first. Most of the time it’s organs, or something you lost a while ago he totally didn’t steal from you a month ago or so.

• While he doesn’t touch often, he does sometimes. Most of the time it’s in the form of head pats or hand holding I imagine. Maybe he’ll let some kisses slide if you initiate them, though be careful, because he might take it as an invitation to rip your teeth out.

• As seen with your encounter with Scarletella, Gap does help and care for certain people, and knows when you’re in distress. Seeing as you’re his partner, he’ll be there to lend a hand. Recently, you may of noticed he doesn’t ask for a penance as much anymore!

• Mr. Gap is a little rocky, and has some kinks you may have to work around before you can finally have him as a decent partner. Make no mistake though, he’s a reliable one to have when you eventually do have him.

- - ┈┈∘┈- ⛧ -┈∘┈┈ - -

You were tired. It had been a long day of running around with Mr. Crawling and avoiding Mr. Scarletella. Resting your tired body on one of the medical beds you internally groan, realizing you forgot to shut off the lights. Just as you’re ready to get up, lifting the sheets, you see Mr. Gap smiling at you eagerly.

“ ?לֵב לָתֵת”

Ugh. Not this again. You decline him, shoving his face back into the depths of the sheet. Compared to the other ghosts of the realm, you seemed to have the best relationship with Mr. Gap. You would poke fun, and he’d take it (although with some mumbles) and come back to scare you every time. Nonetheless, you turn off the lights before you even try to start a conversation with him, slip back into the sheets and eventually drift off.

Mr. Gap loved the attention you gives him compared to other humans that have stumbled through this realm. A part of him would love to add your heart to his collection, though keeping you alive was also a treasure. As you slept, he ran his hands up along your calfs, thighs, hips, and eventually landing on your waist, snuggling his head along your stomach. You were so warm and soft..and as much as he’d love to feel your warm blood along his fingers, watching you sleep has some peace too. <3

[livyslabyrinth]

imagining yttd characters with a partner pokemon and the image in my head is too cutee.

shin with an espeon because he canonically likes cats. he probably wanted an umbreon to match the cat plush in sou’s room but eevee followed him to work on a day shift and evolved, but he loves his partner anyways :)

sara with umbreon because she wanted a black cat in the manga. the type matchups make sense to me with shin having the weaker matchup.

gin with a growlithe and q-taro with an arcanine would be so cuteee. they’re father and son to me idc 😭

joe with a rockruff omlll. his uniform would always be a little roughed up because he can never resist playing with his partner!!

a zorua would go so well with reko’s color scheme aaaaa. maybe having it use rain dance during live venues to preform with her!!

nao with an altaria because the artbook said she likes fluffy thingss. i could totally see her napping with an altaria. little bit angsty here, but maybe a mishima’s smergle she raises after his death

alice with a zebstrika or furret because he likes striped things. i like to imagine his pokemon would occasionally bicker with reko’s zorua, but get their ass beat every time 😭

kai would have a ghost time to freak the yabusames out like he did in ytts. maybe a sableye or a yamask, but i feel like he would look so cunty with a froslass!!

i have no reason for this one but keiji with a gible makes sense in my head. idk… i can just see him doing his best to calm down a rambunctious gible that’s chasing the other participants around.

anzu with a blacephalon because its clownlike and not as off-putting as mr mime. i don’t like mr. mime, and i also feel like it’d be an uncreative cop-out to give her.

kuramada with a primape or hitmonlee that he spars with from time to time. they have specially tailored boxing gloves :”)

mai with a fidough. no explanation needed. your honor, they have matching bread hats!! she lets her partner help in the kitchen and just prays the fda doesn’t swing by.

i imagine kanna with a sweets themed pokemon bc of her pudding bucket in ytts. maybe a milcery or alcremie. i imagine shin’s espeon has a timid nature and she has to let it slowly warm up to her and her partner pokemon.

i feel like hinako would have a giant terrifying ass pokemon, slightly due to the fact that she’s intimidating and mysterious herself. mostly due to the fact that i think it would be really funny for the shortest character to have a giant scary pokemon lurking behind them.

ranmaru is kinda gloomy, so i feel like he would empathize well with a mimikyu and they would bond in no time. his partner is terrified of sara’s umbreon and every time he tries to approach her, mimikyu panics and he gives up. poor guy :(

hayasaka with a really mischievous rotom that he cannot control is a really cute image in my head, so i’m giving him that

[quirekey]

MATCHUP FOR @eldritchsp00ks

You have got FIXIT RID2015

[ Transformers x Human!reader ]

INTRODUCTION

You were a friend of Denny Clay, a pretty close one at least. You both have pretty differing opinions and likings but you both like to embrace that, it’s easier to make conversations and debates with it anyways. Over time, you guys got closer and you both were unstoppable.

After a usual while, you saw Denny pretending to be a famous adventurer, stopping cars from going over the bridge. You went up to him and saw some massive robots of various sizes, colours and patterns fighting off another bunch, you were obviously worried and asked Denny what in the world was going on.

“Denny, what in the world are you doing?”

“Don’t worry about me right now, Nex… I got some work to do- I’ll explain later! Just stay by me!”

You complied and stood by him, trying to stop the other cars yourself.

When the battling stopped and seemingly the loud, clanking metal had reached its end, Denny gave it a few minutes then opened the bridge back up, leaving into the forest. You followed behind him and were understandably confused but you didn’t question him till you guys arrived at his junkyard. Oh boy, you haven’t seen this piece of… this masterpiece in a while!

Denny lets you in the junkyard with hesitation and you see the whole crew of massive robots. They seemingly don’t see you because they aren’t reacting, until Denny coughed loudly to gain their attention.

They were understandably surprised but friendly enough for you to get along. They all varied in bubbly personalities and you enjoyed their company. Bumblebee, Strongarm, Sideswipe, Drift, Grimlock and Fixit, then the two cute ones, Jetstorm and Slipstream.

One of them seemed very needy and friendly around you, they were really clingy and always wanted to talk to you ever since you met them. Fixit. The ‘mini-con’ that was seemingly the engineer and technician of the group. He definitely made it obvious that he gained feelings for you almost immediately.

You accepted his feelings but didn’t date just yet, you two were more like friends with romantic tension, why not give him a chance?

HEADCANONS

Either platonic or romantic:

- You like to talk to Fixit about your love of aliens, how freaky and cool they look! You show Fixit most of the alien merch you own and Fixit is definitely confused. Aliens are interpreted as these weirdly headed guys, cartoony looking limbs and just have a strange aura, at least the typical alien does. Fixit does feel a little insecure but also thinks it's hilarious that humans see aliens like that, but you are able to reassure him.

- He loves to run his mouth to you about his stories and says a lot of dumb crap that makes you laugh. He likes to tell stories that relate to the things you like, like aliens, horror, cats.

- Fixit sometimes over-does his talking and you definitely run out of social batteries. Fixit isn’t a guy to push so if you do mention that you are tired, he will leave ya alone. He understands boundaries!

- When Fixit goes on the tablet to just play a game or something for a break, sometimes you like to scare him and download those iconically old games like granny or something.

- You really enjoy Science so Fixit and you really like to do simple and dumb experiments in your free time with the random chemicals and items you both find in the junkyard. Sometimes there are explosions…

Romantic only:

- You like to watch horror movies with Fixit and seeing a scared mini-con shiver on the couch while covering his optics is amusing. He usually grabs you and puts you in front of him, he’s pretty scared of basically anything. Or he would hug you and shove his faceplate on your shoulder. Nuzzling himself against you while you watched the movie silently.

- Since you guys are very similar in height, Fixit really likes it when you give him little head scratches and pats, it feels funny on his metal. Though you don’t like scratching the metal on his head, patting it was okay with you. If you don’t wanna scratch, he usually says a simple kiss would do for cycles!

- When you daydream, Fixit likes to admire you no matter where he is. He won’t look for long because he feels like it’s wrong but he will admire your face for a bit.

- Fixit really likes your little space buns and when you guys are cuddling, he loves to just bury his face into your shoulder while squishing the little space buns. He describes it as those stress toys that those kids like.

Ngl I just wanted to point out that your love for aliens is so large that you even have space buns dude, pop off ✨ — to eldritchsp00ks