#and also this is a really funny matchup

[neversetyoufree]

C'mon y'all help me out with this one. As a certified Scum Villain and VnC enjoyer, I can promise you that Vanitas is fundamentally a lot more doomed than Binghe is.

Scum Villain is the story of a man that falls madly in love with Luo Binghe and rewrites his entire narrative/reality and saves him from a life of abject misery just by being kind and loving him. The whole plot is the story of a guy un-dooming his narrative.

The guy that falls madly in love with Vanitas is, uh, not going to do that.

The entire point of The Case Study of Vanitas is that Vanitas is doomed. He's maybe the most doomed by the narrative that a character has ever been.

The first chapter ends with the announcement that he's going to die. He's named after a famous quote and art movement that are meant to show the fact that death is inescapable and living pleasures are meaningless in its face. He constantly wears an hourglass whose sand has already run out. The entire story is a memoir written by the other main character in the future as he mourns his death.

Like I said, the whole thing about Scum Villain is that Luo Binghe is a character in a story who is doomed to a life of violence and hollow misery. Then somebody loves him so much that he rewrites the entire plot and un-dooms him. The whole point of Scum Villain is that Luo Binghe wasn't doomed to commit atrocities and be miserable after all; he just needed someone to love him.

The whole point of The Case Study of Vanitas is that this is impossible. There is no re-writing here. The story only exists in the first place because Vanitas dies. The other main character desperately wants to save him, but he can't (or at least cannot save him from death).

Noé shows Vanitas love and kindness. Noé becomes the first person in years that Vanitas can really open up to and rely on. Noé changes Vanitas for the better like Sqq changes Binghe, and the fundamental tragedy of VnC is that we know it doesn't matter. The first chapter promises us that no matter how close they get and how much Vanitas grows, he's going to die anyway. There is no escape.

He's doomed because the narrative opens with the announcement of his death. He's doomed because, in-universe, the narrative only exists because he dies. You can't get more doomed than being the titular dead man in a series called "A Case Study of How Death is Inescapable and Renders All Else Meaningless."

Binghe goes thru it like no one else, but this isn't about who's suffered most. It's about who's most doomed. (And honestly, I think Vanitas is maybe the only character that could give Luo "four tragic backstories at once" Binghe a run for his money in terms of suffering lmao).

You simply cannot let The Doomed By The Narrative Manga be eliminated in round 1.

Doomed by the Narrative: Side B - Round 1

[sysig]

Go play pretend on your own (Patreon)

[frostfall-matches]

[ matchmaking... ]

@shadykazama : [ match report ready ]

✧ Toyomitsu Taishiro (Fat Gum)

-> [ Friendly, carefree, self-assured, and relaxed. A natural leader as a hero. ] He’s very positive and has a good sense of humor but is mature enough to know when to get serious. All in all, he checks off a lot of your boxes for what you look for in others. A relationship with him should be very comfortable overall - he is good at communication and tends to be very level-headed, so heated arguments aren’t likely. Talking to him and getting to know him is relatively easy, even for you, who struggles with social interactions with people you’re unfamiliar with.

-> [ Needless to say, he loves when you spoil him with food. ] You’re sweet and mindful, keeping track of all of his favorite snacks and sugary beverages. It becomes routine for you to pick up a few extra snacks for him when you go on personal snack runs, and you’re happy to surprise him by dropping off a little care package at his agency. Your tendency to to get or make extra food just to share with others works very well for him. All that being said, Taishiro is down for any date that involves food at some point or another - the guy is almost always hungry.

-> [ Given his love for food, he’s going to pay close attention to your own food preferences. ] Very quick to pick up on your love for most fruits, strawberries in particular. Definitely makes it a point to keep fresh fruit at his place for you, or bring you some when he’s off patrol and heading to your place to spend time with you. He also keeps an eye out for any mint or mint chocolate treats and desserts. If you’re trying out a new dish at a restaurant and it’s a bit too meat-heavy for your tastes, he’s happy to switch or to at least eat any meat that you pick out so it’s not just left on your plate.

-> [ Happy to spend his evenings with you playing video games or putting together puzzles. ] Honestly, it doesn’t really matter what you two do as long as it’s relaxing and he’s able to spend some time in your presence. But puzzles and video games can be both entertaining and relaxing, and it’s a good way for you two to bond. When it comes to puzzles, he really likes trying to figure out one half of the puzzle while you start on the other half, hoping to eventually meet in the middle. As for video games, he finds co-op puzzle games (such as Portal) to be a bit more engaging than fighting games, but he’ll still get a bit competitive with the latter if you’re into them.

-> [ The sweetest, most supportive partner you could have. ] It doesn’t matter if you have struggles in your personal life or professional life - Taishiro is here to listen and lift you up in whatever way you need. His compliments are thoughtful and genuine, and he’s good at noticing positive things about yourself or your work that you might miss by being too self-critical. He very much encourages you to try out new things and is quick to reassure you if you don’t do as well as you initially hoped. If you’re worried about looking stupid trying something out on your own, he will absolutely try it out with you.

-> [ A very capable support hero duo. ] Fat Gum can definitely go on the offensive when he needs to - he’s been trained and is able to utilize his quirk in a way that does quite a bit of damage - but primarily plays a support role in situations where other people can manage the bulk of the fighting. Your quirk resonates very well with his, and he’s all the more confident when you two happen to be on a case together, knowing that you both work well together and can cover each other’s weaknesses with ease.

-> [ Extremely patient when you’re upset and angry. ] Regardless if your ire is directed at him, at someone else, or at a particular situation you’ve found yourself in. Taishiro prides himself on his communication, but emotions get the best of everyone at some point or another. You’re self-aware enough to recognize that expressing and communicating your anger is not your strong suit - and that’s plenty good enough, in his eyes! If you feel you can’t verbally express what’s bothering you, he’ll be there for you while you process things. He’s pretty good at figuring out if you need space or if you’d be alright with some quiet company, but appreciates when you’re able to let him know what you need from him.

-> [ He seems the type to really like animals. ] Being a pro hero limits his time to care for a pet, especially when living solo, so he just hasn’t really bothered getting one. But if you two ever move in together and you’re interested in keeping a pet (or if you already have one which would of course be part of the household as you two merge your living spaces), he’s all for it. Doesn’t matter what type of animal it is, he’s happy to do the research and listen to what you already know. Whatever the animal is, though, he’s definitely the type to spoil it with treats and attention.

[front-facing-pokemon]

[arundolyn]

hot(?) guilty gear take:

danger time is fun and not nearly as bad a mechanic as some people like to claim. they're just salty when they lose to it

[worstcharacterpoll]

[Image description: A tournament bracket of 32 contenders, labeled "Tumblr's most hated." The matchups on the left are Vriska vs. Pearl from SU; Rex from Victorious vs. Rick Sanchez; Ansem the Wise vs. Gul Dukat; Kylo Ren vs. Kokichi Ouma; Scrappy Doo vs. Sheldon Cooper; Pierre from Stardew vs. Mort from Madagascar; Seraphine from League vs. Heimskr; and Jurgen Leitner vs. Andre Glacier. The matchups on the right are Walter White vs. Light Yagami; Buck Cluck vs. Ross Geller; Bramblestar vs. Starlight Glimmer; Goro Akechi vs. Pariston Hill; Katsuki Bakugo vs. Berdly; Angel Dust vs. the Impostor; Olaf from Frozen vs. Hooty; and Zenos viator Galvus vs. Tony Stark. The bracket is red on a black background. End ID]

Here is the official bracket for the most Hated Character on Tumblr! Each round will last 24 hours, with a 12 hour break in between. Round 1 should start Feb 9, 2023 at 9:00 AM CST.

As a reminder, this tournament is for the characters that you hate the most, so always vote for your least favorite of the two options. The winner will be publicly executed.

FAQ under cut:

Q: Why did you put in x character and not y character? Aren't there more hateable characters from that franchise?

A: I wanted to keep the competition light-hearted, funny, and interesting. I intentionally avoided most shitty parent characters, dictators, characters who were meant to be hated, etc., as well as characters heavily associated with bigotry and sexual assault, and gravitated towards characters that were more divisive in fandom. Exceptions were only made for characters I am familiar enough with and can use my own judgement for. Using Zenos as an example: He is a villain who is very evil and meant to be hated, which I mostly avoided when taking suggestions for things I wasn't familiar with myself. However, he's very divisive between people who think he's a good interesting villain, people who don't think he's a good villain and don't like him in the story at all, and people who want him carnally. Walter White is also meant to be hated, but he has a meme status, and as a villain protagonist I think he's more interesting than most "meant to be hated" characters. Also, there are certain franchises that I simply didn't want to include. If JK Rowling wasn't such a real and horrible political presence, owing all her influence to Harry Potter, I would've definitely put Snape on the poll. As it stands, I don't really want to give HP any attention. TL;DR answer: Because it's funnier that way

Q: But I LIKE that character :(

A: As mentioned before, I specifically gravitated more towards characters who are more divisive rather than universally hated. They are usually more interesting, and there is more variety with those types of characters - you don't have shitty dad character #1 vs. shitty dad character #2. I actually looked for "anti-(character)" tags and discourse about that character when making decisions about who to include. lol If you actually like some of these characters (uh, my condolences), vote against them in their respective matchups.

Q: Is it too late to suggest a replacement?

A: Yes.

Q: Why are you doing this?

A: I feed off of hatred and violence. I want to see who tumblr users REALLY hate.

Q: Why Pearl?

A: It was quite a while ago now so I get it if people don't remember, but Pearl discourse used to be a big thing and people argued that she was irredeemable for many of the things she did early on in the show. If you remember the "Pearl hates the Irish" meme, that was a parody of how much people hated her

Q: Why Hooty?

A: I haven't seen the Owl House but I'm told many people think he's annoying. Also he's voiced by Alex Hirsch and fuck that guy he did my boy Ford so dirty I'm still mad about this

Q: Why Starlight Glimmer?

A: MLP:FiM is another show I didn't really watch but she was a villain who got redeemed and became a main character and a lot of people think her redemption arc was rushed and botched and she actually made a lot of people quit watching the show. One of my close friends really really really hates her and I don't think that's an isolated incident

Q: Why Berdly?

A: Annoying. Personally I think his arc of becoming less annoying was pretty fun but a lot of people still hate him.

Q: Why Bakugo (instead of Mineta)?

A: I actually debated this a lot and held a preliminary poll which Mineta actually won. But then I decided democracy is dead because Mineta really wouldn't be as interesting as Bakugo in this tournament because he's basically universally hated. Bakugo is more interesting because people who hate him REALLY hate him, while people who love him REALLY love him. Kind of like Vriska. I think. I never read Homestuck and I don't plan on ever doing so.

Q: Why Tony Stark?

A: He's a heavily divisive character because he's a war profiteer billionaire with a superiority complex, but the narrative treats him as a morally pure hero. Also, he's MCU Spider-Man's mentor and most of MCU Spider-Man is basically defined by Tony Stark and he's not allowed to be his own character. There's a bunch of other stuff but I didn't watch and I don't care about most of the MCU. Personally I'm a really big Spider-Man fan and I despise him for what he did to Peter Parker but I shall refrain from making this a long rant.

Q: Why did you include characters that you're not familiar with?

A: I didn't want to exclusively have characters from my interests. I wanted a bit of variety. Before the poll started, I accepted submissions for candidates, and basically trusted submitters to send in decent characters. Some of the characters I ended up with may go against the vague guidelines I set for myself, which kind of sucks, but that's how it is now.

Q: This bracket sucks.

A: Make your own tournament then. I'm just some guy making a tournament on tumblr dot com for free. Don't take it too seriously.

[dredgesnails]

i very badly want a double life 2: electric boogaloo but crucially no one is allowed to be paired up with their soulmate from the first one (except ranchers) and also lizzie and gem and mumbo and skizz are there too. anyway here are some pairings i think would be funny or interesting or would please me personally:

mumbo + scar: complete the mumscarian circuit

mumbo + lizzie: statistically the worst players right after jimmy. lizzie died before him once and she can do it again (and take mumbo with her)

grian + jimmy: nightmare scenario for the both of them

pearl + gem: an unfair matchup as they would win no problem but i love them together and i think we deserve them together after the events of secret life

scar + tango: wildly unpredictable. scar takes damage constantly but (almost) always escapes by the skin of his teeth. tango on the other hand has blown himself up before

pair them up best + worst in order (pearl + jimmy, gem + mumbo, scott + lizzie etc) and see if they manage to balance each other out. this takes out some of the randomness but there are still some fun duos i think would come out of it (etho + bdubs, skizz + martyn, impulse + bigb) and i also think pearl could keep jimmy alive long enough to not die first

and for lore reasons:

grian + bigb: lets see how the secret soulmates can handle being real soulmates

scott + jimmy: ok i know the last time they were together jimmy doomed them both with his curse but this time it’ll be different scott’s lucky now

cleo + etho: the progression of divorced with kids > roomies > soulmates tickles me

ren + martyn: i miss renchanting

+ bonus because i have been thinking about who i would want joining the life series a lot. this is who i want to join

doc + anyone really but mostly grian: okay seriously i imagined doc in the life series once and now ive been consumed by the desire to see it. especially with his health linked to grian. think about it. would be fun with ren also for entirely opposite reasons

[hotvintagepoll]

hotvintagepoll Hot Men Tournament rundown thoughts

I promised a final recap post and here it is! I'll try to cover the questions I saw the most as we closed out the bracket, reveal my ✨secret faves✨, and talk about the biggest surprises and turnarounds I saw in the brackets.

Yes, this will get silly.

ROUND 1

As I've mentioned before, I worked off submissions for who to include in the bracket, so if your fave was missing—that's why. I used submitted pics when I could, but many submissions didn't have one, so I tried to find decent ones in the couple of days I had to prep the first round (I didn't always succeed). By decent, I mean pics where 1) I could see the hot man's face, so not too much moody lighting, and 2) hopefully conveyed something about his vibe, even if it was a funny thing (yes, I showed Howard Keel in full Shakespeare get-up—I'm not beyond putting up a pic because I think it's funny). I didn't know all of these hotties going in, so some I had to guess with, but when I could I tried to pick shots that had a touch of the humor, class, or genre of the hot man.

For Round 1 and Round 2, I grouped the hotties by each decade, so only '60s actors ran against '60s actors, '50s against '50s, etc. Male beauty standards shifted pretty dramatically over the sixty years this tournament covers, and I didn't think it was fair to pit dramatically different styles of beauty against each other immediately.

I pitted hot men against each other based on opposing energies—hot vs cold, elegant vs rough, comedy vs drama, etc.. I wanted the polls to be interesting and I've never liked brackets where everyone is clearly in different "lanes" until the finals! I also wanted to make polls where I couldn't tell which way they would swing, so by setting matchups that felt opposite but equal, I got to be surprised by the bracket results too.

The only reason we had any three-way matchups is because the amount of men submitted didn't round to a nice bracket number. I don't like them generally and find them really hard to balance.

Secret faves from Round 1—I am a James Coburn girlie and knew he would die immediately, so that was not a shock but a bummer. I similarly knew Robert Preston is only magical to people who have seen him do His Little Dance Routines in That One Iowa Musical, but it would have been nice for him to last longer.

Surprises—Jeremy Brett was a last-minute add and I didn't think he really had a shot, so I put him in as a third wheel on the Sean Connery/Dean Martin matchup. Little did I count on the Granada girlies. (Always count on the Granada girlies.) The Elvis/Peter Falk poll was the first one to gain any momentum—Elvis was winning for the first 24 hours but then, my god, did Peter fight back. I didn't expect the Tab/Toshiro poll to make that bad a mincemeat out of Tab—people have different tastes, and I thought the people who like blonde sunny All American white boys might turn out for The Blonde Sunny All American White Boy. Sorry, Tab. I hope you've peeled yourself off the sidewalk by now. And, of course, I was SHOCKED and APPALLED that James Cagney would be obliterated by, of all people, Mr. Bing Crosby.

SHADOW BRACKET

The fervor of the Harold Lloyd and Fredric March people inspired the shadow bracket, and I couldn't be happier at the way it's gone. You were right, the original photos I had for them did suck. Cunty Harold Lloyd in his little life guard uniform was a revelation.

ROUND 2

For Round 2 I'd gotten a better sense of who was doing well and who was not, so a little of that came into play, but I mostly paired on vibes again. (I genuinely think this is a good way to make a fun, challenging bracket.)

Secret faves—Noooo not hot dilf Dick Van Dyke don't take my hot inventor dilf away uwu!!! (He was up against Marlon Brando. I would have been shocked if he'd won but for a minute there, a glorious second, it was possible.) I am also a big old softie for David Niven's particular brand of repression to the point of volcanic rupture, but he is one of many hotties who does not look good without moving and speaking so I figured he would be going.

So much beef—hey! hey you. I ran a poll asking if we are horny for dancers. Yes, was the resounding poll response. Where, then, did all the fucking dancers go? This round we lost Donald O'Connor, Fred Astaire, Harold Nicholas; Sammy Davis Jr., Danny Kaye, Frank Sinatra, and Bing Crosby all sneak into this category as well, by token of having been in the kind of big MGM bang-a-pan-and-put-on-a-show beloved bedlams we all watch at Christmastime. Round 2 voters HATED musical matchups. Except for one.

The one—SOUND OF MUSIC, the voters said, WE LOVE SOUND OF MUSIC. we will KILL the man responsible for salad dressing because of the SOUND OF MUSIC. every other dance man can die but THIS man dances a FOLK DANCE with JULIE ANDREWS in a GARDEN. I did not go into this poll with strong opinions about Christopher Plummer or Paul Newman but my god did I leave having heard all of them.

Surprises—James Edwards/Anthony Perkins matchup was a nail biter! Conrad vs Oscar kept me up at nights. Surprised to see Basil Rathbone survive against Sabu Dastagir—both very fetching, but Sabu had some top-tier propaganda. Cesar Romero put up a surprisingly stiff fight against Cary Grant (an omen for things to come).

Oh horrors—horror heroes surprisingly fell all over the place. I was sure either Bela Lugosi or Turhan Bey would sweep their three-way matchup, but Michael Redgrave of all people carried through; Boris Karloff went down against Johnny Weismuller (while holding hands with fellow fallen hottie Fred Astaire), but at least we got his guacamole recipe before he went. Delighted to see that the Venn diagram of the coalitions who support horror hero Vincent Price and funny lil guy Donald O'Connor is a circle.

Secret faves pt 2—oh yeah, I fucking love Danny Kaye and Donald O'Connor. RIP funny lil kings.

ROUND 3

For some reason this was the hardest one to make matchups for. Oh no, all the men are hot.

Secret faves—Michael Redgrave i love you SO much you're SUCH an idiot, how did you make it as far as round 3. I want you to sweep the whole thing but you should NOT be surviving this. I love you, here's a kiss, go home.

Surprises—Marlon Brando is gone! Errol Flynn is gone! Christopher Plummer exhausted himself beating the organic oreos man to death and goes out with a whimper. Beginning to actually see the roots of #mifunesweep as Tyrone Power, a hot man very different from Burt Lancaster, who was in turn very different from Tab Hunter, also gets swept under the wheels of the unbeatable toshirobus. Conrad Veidt finds that no amount of purring svelte eccentricity compares to the people who will fuck a young Lt. Columbo.

SHADOW BRACKET 2

Cannot believe it but Veidt loses this one too. Perkins sweeps and becomes Prince of the Shadow Realm!

ROUND 4

At this point I've set a formal bracket that I'm following.

Secret faves—this isn't secret anymore, but losing Jimmy Stewart hurt.

Surprises—The Gene Kelly/Jeremy Brett matchup was the diciest one all round, moving back and forth between the two by sometimes .01%. Far more surprising, however, was Cary Grant getting eliminated before the quarterfinals. Grant has never been my type, but he is famous for being THE type, so while the writing had been on the wall the whole tournament—how on earth did Michael Redgrave even get 36% in his matchup?!—seeing Grant go down was a SHOCKER. Other fallen hotties included Gregory Peck, James Dean, Harry Belafonte, and Sessue Hayakawa. Peter Falk finally met his match in Omar Sharif.

QUARTERFINALS

Secret faves—I don't know if it counts as a secret fave, tbh, as my horses in the race really went out with Stewart, but I do have a soft spot here worth mentioning. Here's my childhood dog, Keaton.

The resemblance is truly striking, and yes, he was short, fast, and not prone to smiling.

Surprises—I couldn't predict how any of these matchups would go down, but I was most interested in Keaton vs Sharif, as they are both SO hot in SUCH different ways.

SEMIFINALS:

This was such a good batch of semifinalist contestants. By this point I think we could all tell Mifune was unstoppable (though I thought Sharif might give him a run for his money), but I really didn't know which way Robeson vs Poitier would flip.

FINALS:

I wanted Sidney Poitier to pull a last-minute sweep out of nowhere, but alas, Toshiro is just THAT GOOD (maybe. I will admit that I find Toshiro's domination a little hard to believe, given the variety and hotness of all his competitors; the man is hot but all these men are hot). I'm still happy with how the tournament went.

FINAL MEDITATIONS:

Biggest shock of a dropout: the loss of Paul Newman

Biggest "you people have no taste": the loss of James Cagney

Biggest victory: Paul Robeson making it to the semifinals over often-assumed champion Gregory Peck

Biggest coalition who deserve justice: dancing men

Biggest ask character: vents anon (currently eating Laurence Olivier)

Biggest, uhh, anything: how many of you are here! I genuinely thought it would be me and 10 other people voting for the whole tournament. I'm thrilled it took off like this!

I think that's everything, but I'm happy to answer addl asks. And THANK YOU to everyone for your tags, rants, impassioned propaganda, beautiful pics, and love for the hot men! See you for the ladies!

[writing-blog-iguess]

Online Matchup 2

Summery: Y/n gets sick and gets a surprise. Too bad they're a little out of it, otherwise they would see it.

Warning: teasing, fluff, swearing, mistakes

a/n: I tried something new, with the sections Jason's pov and readers. Let me know if you like it. Otherwise, enjoy!

Words: 2174

ao3

Series master list

-----

September 29

Y/N: (3:04 am) Do you think if they didn’t kill Eddie that Steddie would be a thing?

Jason: (3:04 am) Why the ever loving fuck are you awake at three in the morning?

Y/N: (3:04 am) College student

Jason: Aside from that?

Y/N: Sick

Jason: You seemed fine a few days ago

Y/N: A lot can happen as time passes Also, it’s the season where the weather doesn’t make up its mind and it’s cold the one day and warm the next day

Jason: All true all true And it doesn’t help that mr freeze attacked the university the day either

Y/N: I hate the fact that we’ve known each other for like a day, talked for hours And you can read me

Jason: I am a man of many talents I also read the news Though one can say the same for you

Y/N: Ew, who reads the news? I’ll give you that

Jason: I do thank you very much So is it the flu or just a cold

Y/N: Can’t tell But my body feels like it’s been hit by a truck I can’t breathe and I’ve been throwing up a storm I want to die

Jason: Can’t be that bad

Y/N: I’ve been sick for the past three days, I haven’t been school and the only time I’ve left my bed was to throw up It’s that bad

Jason: That sounds like a flu Have you eaten anything? Taken anything?

Y/N: I’ve eaten some crackers, can’t really stomach anything else

Jason: Would you mind giving me your address

Y/N: Sir, I did not message you for a booty call I am a lady of the highest regards

Jason: You’re funny when your sick I was gonna send you some soup that I have when I’m sick But if your gonna be like that, then never mind 

Y/N: … Chicken noodle?

Jason: Only the very best

Y/N: I’m sorry, I’ll give it to you if you give me your number

Jason: Bold words coming from a lady

Y/N: Wow

Jason: You said it

Y/N: I’ve changed my mind

Jason: No you haven’t

Y/N: You're not a mind reader, are you?

Jason: No, but it’s soup and you're sick, are you really gonna say no to free soup?

Y/N: …. I am not

—

After saving Jason’s number to your phone, and confirming that it was actually Jason, you sent him your address. Tossing your phone to the side, you snuggled into your blankets and fell asleep.

A few hours later, a knock at the door is what wakes you from your nap. Blinking away the sleep, you look around confused on why you’re sleeping on the couch. Stretching, you grab your phone to see that soup is gonna be on the way soon.

At another knock, you slowly get up from the couch and grab your wallet and a mask. After putting it on, you open the door. “Sorry. I am a little disoriented.”

“No worries,” the food delivery person said, handing the bag to you. Taking it, you set it aside before opening your wallet.

“How much do I own you?” you asked, and he shook his head.

“There’s no need for it, it was already paid for,” he answered. You looked up and squinted at him as a sense of familiarity hit you.

“Are you sure?” He nodded and sent you a smile. Sighing in defeat, you let your arms drop. “Alright if you’re sure.” And before he can leave, you're quick to add on, “do I know you from somewhere? You seem familiar.”

“Don’t think I could forget a pretty face like yours,” he said, adjusting his hat down a little. Any other day, you would have scoffed and shut the door. But today wasn’t any other day, and you were sick, and that meant your face bloomed like a tomato.

“Aren’t you a charmer,” you managed out, and he smiled as if you said something funny. “Well, um, thank you for the soup. I’ll let you get back to your night.”

“Hope you feel better,” he said, tipping his hat and leaving before you could say anything back. You peaked out and watched him leave before closing the door.

You stared at the soup for a bit, feeling warm for a different reason. Blinking away the warm feeling, you went about and poured yourself a bowl of soup. Once the bowl was finished, you washed up and went back to bed, hoping to sleep off the rest of the flu.

—

Jason 7:30am: Did the soup make it okay? How are you feeling? Okay, I’m going to take the silence that your sleeping Will be check in later 

Jason: Okay, it’s been twelve hours birdie, should I be worried?

Y/N 2:30pm: Holy FUCK What was in that soup?

Jason I take it you’re feeling better

Y/N: Sooooo much I feel like a new person Imma needs that restaurant name. I bet they have good food

Jason: The best But I’m afraid I will not be sharing that information

Y/N: Boooooo

Jason: Where have you been anyways?

Y/n: Sleeping I woke up maybe once or twice to go to the bathroom I’m sore now though, so I’ve been walking around What was in that soup?

Jason: Chicken, spices, water I don’t know, whatever else is in the soup

Y/n: Well it was good soup Compliments to the chief

Jason: Lol I’ll let him know

Y/n: Or I could do it 

Jason: I will not be giving you the restaurants name

Y/n: Boooo

Jason (11:30pm) How does one kill someone and make it look like an accident?

Y/N: Depends If in hospital, inject air in the iv heart attack 

Jason: That wasn’t meant for you

Y/N: If not, still inject air and it’ll still look like a heart attack You just have to hope the M.E doesn’t look for the injection sight. Well, you could always burn that part but I think that’s just a dead give away Hide it in a tattoo, should work Maybe

Jason: The way you didn’t have to think about that should have me worried 

Y/n: Who was it meant for then?

Jason: My brothers

Y/N: I should be worried that you have conversations like these with them But somehow I’m not surprised 

Jason: Excuse me?

Y/N: You’re excuse

Jason: Funny Why do you even know that anyways?

Y/N: Don’t worry about it

Jason: Now I’m going to worry about it

Y/N: But you don’t need too

Jason: Mm, still gonna worry

Y/N: If you say so Man, how out of it was I?

Jason: Don’t know, you seemed coherent enough when we talked Although you did say you weren’t a booty call type of women

Y/N: I’m not But while talking to you, I must have felt a little better Because these emails are not it Prof, am sick, no school. Nobody yours, y/n

Jason: That was beautiful 

Y/n: And all they said was to get better before coming back to class I don’t think I could ever show my face there again

Jason: I’m sure they’ve had plenty of emails like that before

Y/n: Even still

Jason: They won’t care You need to go to class if you want to graduate 

Y/n: I hate that your right

Jason: Always am

Y/n: We’ll see about that

Jason: How are you feeling now?

Y/n: Better I think the worst of it is over Had a shower and eat something that wasn’t soup so things are looking up Not ready to run a marathon but ready enough to tackle the homework that I missed

Jason: That’s good Where were you when the mr freeze attacked anyways?

Y/n: Library The fucking library! Nowhere near the science building! But some asshole decided to bring the fight away from the science building Which I get, can’t really fight around all the chemicals it has But why did they have to move it towards the library Whenever I find the person who’s idea that was its on sight

Jason: Why didn’t you run away?

Y/N: I dunno Maybe because I needed to finish the project that was due the next day But to be fair, I wasn’t the only one who didn’t run away either Like the majority of the students stayed to either watch or finish their homework

Jason: College students are a different bread

Y/N: Death means nothing when your homework is half your grade

Jason: You’re all bark and no play, aren’t you?

Y/n: Only when there’s consent

Jason: Good to know 

—

“You aren’t supposed to be on your phone when on patrol, Todd,” Robin reminded, annoyed. Jason made a face behind his mask, but kept his attention on his phone.

“I think I’m free to do whatever I want,” he said, snorting at the oncoming messages you had sent about wanting to fight the person who thought it was a great idea to lead Mr. Freeze away from the science building and towards the library. He had half a mind to tell you it was Nightwing, only for the sole purpose of riling you up. But he decided against it, wanting you to feel better completely before teasing you. “Besides, it's slow tonight.”

“Did you forget we’re on a stakeout?” Robin asked, leaning over to reach for the phone. Jason stepped back and shrugged.

“I’m paying attention.”

“Not nearly as much as you should be,” he grumbled, crossing his arms and turned back to the building Bruce had wanted someone to look at. “Who are you talking to anyways? You don’t have any friends.”

Jason squawked, offended. “I have friends!” he defended, turning to look at his younger brother. Robin only snorted and shook his head.

“Superhero friends, and I’m pretty sure you don’t talk to them nearly as much as you're talking to the person you are now,” he pointed out. Which is true, over the last week or so, Jason found that he was talking to you more than any of his other friends. But he wasn’t going to tell that to Damian. “So, who are you talking to?”

“Why do you care?” he shot back, turning back to his phone.

“You’re glued to that thing constantly,” he said and just then their earpieces crackled coming to life before hearing Dick’s voice filter through.

“Little D’s got a point Jay. Whenever I see you, you're typing away and smiling like someone made a joke or something,” Dick said.

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“No, but you giggle like a schoolgirl with a crush,” Tim said. Jason rolled his eyes, he wasn’t that bad that everyone noticed. Was he?

“Maybe he met someone?” Duke said and the line went dead before it exploded with everyone’s yelling. Jason winced, and turned off his ear piece, relishing in the silence.

“Is Thomas right? You met someone and that’s who you’re talking to?” Robin asked, watching Jason with a calculated look.

“For me to know, and you to never find out,” Jason answered before leaving him be. He ignored Damian’s “we’ll find out eventually!” as he walked. Once he was far enough away, he sat at the edge of the building, and turned back to his phone.

—

Jason: Do you think anyone would notice if I got rid of my brothers?

Y/N: A hundred percent Bruce would know … Well, it depends if he pays attention to how many kids he has Your sisters might notice though Doesn’t Bruce have a butler?

Jason: Yeah, Alfred

Y/N: He will definitely notice And all of Gotham So I’m afraid your suck with them

Jason: Damn And here I was hoping to be an only child

Y/N: Should have thought about that before meeting Bruce

Jason: Funny

Y/N: I try to be Are they giving you grief?

Jason: You can say that They found out about you Well not you specifically They know I’m talking to someone

Y/N: Oooh Am I your dirty little secret?

Jason: Why did you have to say it like that? And no, you’re not my dirty secret I wanted this to be my thing before they started hounding me with question about you

Y/N: Okay that’s fair Wanna get to know me before introducing me to le family I get that

Jason: Have you told anyone yet?

Y/N: Nope

Jason: Now who’s the dirty little secret?

Y/N: You apparently

Jason: I’m okay with that

Y/N: Oh my god I have to go, finish this homework and sleep before class tomorrow

Jason: Yeah, me too. Not the homework part, but I promised Bruce I’d help him with something Talk to you tomorrow

Y/N: Good luck Night!

Jason: Night

[livyslabyrinth]

imagining yttd characters with a partner pokemon and the image in my head is too cutee.

shin with an espeon because he canonically likes cats. he probably wanted an umbreon to match the cat plush in sou’s room but eevee followed him to work on a day shift and evolved, but he loves his partner anyways :)

sara with umbreon because she wanted a black cat in the manga. the type matchups make sense to me with shin having the weaker matchup.

gin with a growlithe and q-taro with an arcanine would be so cuteee. they’re father and son to me idc 😭

joe with a rockruff omlll. his uniform would always be a little roughed up because he can never resist playing with his partner!!

a zorua would go so well with reko’s color scheme aaaaa. maybe having it use rain dance during live venues to preform with her!!

nao with an altaria because the artbook said she likes fluffy thingss. i could totally see her napping with an altaria. little bit angsty here, but maybe a mishima’s smergle she raises after his death

alice with a zebstrika or furret because he likes striped things. i like to imagine his pokemon would occasionally bicker with reko’s zorua, but get their ass beat every time 😭

kai would have a ghost time to freak the yabusames out like he did in ytts. maybe a sableye or a yamask, but i feel like he would look so cunty with a froslass!!

i have no reason for this one but keiji with a gible makes sense in my head. idk… i can just see him doing his best to calm down a rambunctious gible that’s chasing the other participants around.

anzu with a blacephalon because its clownlike and not as off-putting as mr mime. i don’t like mr. mime, and i also feel like it’d be an uncreative cop-out to give her.

kuramada with a primape or hitmonlee that he spars with from time to time. they have specially tailored boxing gloves :”)

mai with a fidough. no explanation needed. your honor, they have matching bread hats!! she lets her partner help in the kitchen and just prays the fda doesn’t swing by.

i imagine kanna with a sweets themed pokemon bc of her pudding bucket in ytts. maybe a milcery or alcremie. i imagine shin’s espeon has a timid nature and she has to let it slowly warm up to her and her partner pokemon.

i feel like hinako would have a giant terrifying ass pokemon, slightly due to the fact that she’s intimidating and mysterious herself. mostly due to the fact that i think it would be really funny for the shortest character to have a giant scary pokemon lurking behind them.

ranmaru is kinda gloomy, so i feel like he would empathize well with a mimikyu and they would bond in no time. his partner is terrified of sara’s umbreon and every time he tries to approach her, mimikyu panics and he gives up. poor guy :(

hayasaka with a really mischievous rotom that he cannot control is a really cute image in my head, so i’m giving him that

[sysig]

Do I know you? Do I know you? Do I know you? (Patreon)

[neetily]

—follower thank you event !!

in an effort to thank you all and appreciate all of the love, support, and kindness you have all shown me over the many months i've known you, especially when following me on this new blog too, i've decided to open up a matchup event!

— what is a matchup? basically, you send me some information (you can see which i need further down) and depending on what you send me, i will match you up like your very own personal cupid to a character i think fits you most from the designated fandoms! i've also included some extra information and goodies to make it a little more fun hehe...

— below, you will find all the information you may require to take part in this event! please read through it carefully and thoroughly, as anyone who does not abide by these rules will have their entry deleted immediately.

— the event will run for three days, or until all of the slots are taken.

20/20 slots taken

— RULES

matchups are being done for Stardew Valley, Degrees of Lewdity, and Fields of Mistria only.

you must include your age in bio.

you must send me a message off anon so that i can keep track of who sends what, you will, however, still remain anonymous! i will post your matchup anonymously in a separate post, and then answer your ask privately with a link to it to let you know that i finished it up!

you must be following me, as this is an event made for my followers! new followers are welcome, of course.

you can send in a max of 1 messages and in that one message you can ask for a max of 2 fandoms to count for 2 entries during the event duration, any extra entries will be subsequently deleted. i will then provide up to 2 drabbles per fandom requested for!

my limits still very much apply to this event, jsyk!

are you a mutual? then this rule is for you! you guys do not count when it comes to taking up slots, but you can still only send a max of 2 fandoms! just don't worry if all the slots are taken up and you didn't get a chance to take part, you guys can always take part <3

— MATCHUP INFORMATION

here is all the information you should/could add to your entry! you can, of course, add more or less. but the more you add then the better/more accurate your matchup will be!

a brief personality description

a brief description of your appearance (such as if you wear glasses, prefer skirts, always have your hair tied up. please do not be too specific and/or extensive)

zodiac sign/MBTI

your ideal type

your favourite trope (one)

your favourite kink (one)

your favourite season

preferred terms of endearment

preferred genitalia (otherwise, i will default to none and try to be as nondescript as possible)

any likes/dislikes

hobbies

your love language

who you want to top/bottom

anything else you wish to mention!

in addition to the above, information i absolutely require is as follows;

do you prefer sweet (fluff) or spicy (smut) tastes?

what is your favourite date spot/event?

which fandom would you like to be matched up in?

which character gender would you like to be matched up with?

when you are alone, do you prefer to... listen to music, text your friends, or do something creative?

— given the information you provide me, i will find someone suitable for you that fits your parameters and write about why i think so, as well as attaching a little babble/drabble to the end exploring your relationship a bit further!

— example entry 1: hi! im an outspoken extrovert type, and my star sign is leo! i really love classical romance stories, and tend to find it difficult to stop yapping. my friends say that i am funny, kind, and a perfectionist! i like being called "love", and i'd prefer if you'd use "cunt" when referencing genitalia. i love sweet treats and the colour blue, and my favourite hobby is ice skating. my ideal date would be at an amusement park, and i love texting my friends! please could you match me up with a male from DOL? thank you!

— example entry 2: hello there! i'd describe myself as shy, unsure, but kind! my love language is physical touch, and i love painting! when it comes to tropes, my favourite is "childhood best friends". and as for kinks, choking is my favourite! i enjoy being called degrading names, and summer is my favourite season, so i'd love if you included that! please could you also include the reader wearing glasses for me? as for your required information, i prefer spicy, a beach setting is perfect for a date, i'd like to request from any two fandom you choose, and either gender is fine! also, i prefer listening to music when i'm alone, thank you!

or something like that, yknow? just be sure to include brief descriptions and the required info and we're good!

disclaimer: if you disagree or otherwise dislike who i have picked for your matchup, please don't get mad at me lmao... this is all just silly fun, it doesn't mean anything <3 and if you have any questions, please feel free to ask!

[allwormdiet]

Buzz 7.8

Nazi capes fuck off, like fucking for real

Honestly even if Kaiser deigned to tell his people that the Undersiders weren't responsible, somehow I doubt any Empire member would be inclined to treat them with much respect.

Yeah, see, this isn't about the leaks for Hookwolf. This is about the fucking beef over the dog fights.

Not a genius move from the driver, honestly. If you really want to put bullets in the villains that have good defensive capabilities, the last thing you want to do is give up the element of surprise. Stormtiger may not have been able to deflect those shots if he didn't have enough time to react.

Also, does Cricket wield kama? Like, the fucking Japanese farming tool? Are you allowed to join the Empire if you're a blatant weeaboo?

This is a really bad matchup honestly, it's tense to see how close they get to death with these fuckers

Disturbingly evocative and sadistic, but what else is to be expected from fucking Nazis, right

Clever guy

Fuck yeah, environmental takedown

Grue is fucking hardcore. Two shots to Stormtiger's legs and not even bothering to acknowledge Cricket's hostage. Dude does not fuck around when it comes to Empire, the only restraint here is that he's not killing them outright but honestly I wouldn't feel bad if he did. Just dump their bodies into the water, bing bang boom.

Well, okay, I guess Hookwolf would still be a problem, wouldn't he

This Cricket gal is bullshit honestly

So, yeah, now that we've gotten all three of the Empire capes to show their powers, I'll go ahead and say that this fight was stacked against Skitter and Grue from the jump. Hookwolf can't be fought hand-to-hand without being shredded to pieces and insects can't do much about metal flesh. Stormtiger can get bugs off himself no problem and can blast away Grue's darkness. Cricket, meanwhile, has some kinda sonic blast that lets her navigate Grue's darkness and also incapacitate Skitter's bugs.

The fact that they get out of this fight alive is a testament to remarkable intelligence and grit on their part.

This is a brutal slugfest honestly, although the fucking Nazi deserves every second of pain she's getting from it.

It's a little funny that they're having this conversation in front of Cricket. Like "oh yeah it looks bad but she's too busy being a sadist to do any real damage," "oh that sucks ass of her but I'm glad you're not too hurt" and she's laying there with a chunk of thigh missing. She should be embarrassed enough to leave town forever.

Yeah Cricket's busted, but good news is she's taken care of

It's a little funny that they're both stuck stitching each other back up after Brian cut off any romantic options. Like I've seen a lot of works where patching up someone's wounds and putting them back together would have a kind of bloodsoaked intimacy to it, but not here lmao

Also yeah you'd better appreciate Tattletale

These little punks. Love em to bits.

Okay so real quick, noticing Taylor's description of how Regent is talking, and I wonder how grounded Alec is as a baseline. Like I have to imagine that the Heartbreaker Experience doesn't do a whole lot of wonders for learning how to connect to the world around you. Is it an affectation like I've been speculating, or is that just the best he's got for engaging with reality?

I wish going straight for Purity meant killing her, but even without reading the rest of this arc I know the Undersiders don't have that kind of firepower. I can dream, though.

Teehee, parallels

Current Thoughts

I wish Grue managed to kill all three of the Empire capes but I get why he couldn't. I'll just have to hope they all die later.

Awesome that they managed to get the win over those bastards in the first place though, I don't think this is my favorite fight in terms of the beat-by-beat action but in terms of how they have to overcome the disadvantage of enemy powers it feels the best.

[dungeon-meshi-tournament]

Of course asking people which monster they find more fuckable is a good way to get them to say funny things, so I got a lot of funny comments on the Most Fuckable Monster in the Dungeon Tournament. So as usual, I compiled a list of the ones I liked best, ordered by the poll they were commented on. Enjoy!

Barometz vs Dryad (round 1 part 1)

dryad boobs in my mouth please please please you're nothing

Man-eating plant vs Mandrake (round 1 part 1)

getting my dick digested by a pitcher plant

its what laios would have wanted

Skeleton vs Dullahan (round 1 part 1)

why is the armor sweeping?? how are ya'll planning to fuck the armor??? at least the skeleton you could like wedge a vibrator or fleshlight into the pelvis. I forgot this is the celibacy site and fucking is not a real physical thing on here

fools do not see the eroticisim of plate armor

Phoenix vs Harpy (round 1 part 2)

harpy has a tits out kinda look

Griffin vs Hippogriff (round 1 part 2)

Me at first: really? You’d fuck the horse? Me, remembering the barded penises of felines : no wait you’re right

White dragon vs Red dragon (round 1 part 3)

It's canon that white dragons fight furiously while red dragon is the equivalent of that blue hands dinosaur in Prehistoric Planet

white dragon is cuntier somehow

Treasure insects vs Succubus (round 1 part 3)

another tits out kinda look

normal poll matchup. normal poll. do people want to fuck a succubus or inch long insects. who will win

Huge scorpion vs Huge spider vs Mimic (round 1 part 3)

What you do to the mimic is hidden from the eyes of all

The mimics got that dog in it

dark souls mimic resemblances have me thinking unwise

something about the mysterious air around the mimic

Golem vs Ice golem (round 1 part 4)

Same deal but one freezes ur junk off I think the winner is clear

Gargoyle vs Hag (round 1 part 4)

..abusive mother kink????

Familiar vs Jack Frost (round 1 part 4)

familiar is customizable 👍

Doppelganger vs Demon (round 1 part 4)

That stupid sexy cat simply slays too much cunt

Hippogriff vs Fish-man (round 2 part 1)

no offense to my buddy fish-man but that hippogriff is too majestic

Living armour vs Undine (round 2 part 2)

One if the extras has a really perturving bit: Undines fed by consuming liquids with mana. Holm mentions regularly feeding it BODILY FLUIDS.

is wearing living armor anything

White dragon vs Green dragon (round 3)

she made that dragon sooooo cunty and for what

Cockatrice vs Demon (round 3)

you should've put the slutiest picture of the demon. to remind everyone that ryoko -sensei is down BAD

no one: ryoko kui: i am going to make a lion demon that is SOOOOOOO [redacted]

everybody vote for demon! a vote for demon is a love letter to Ryoko Kui

I do find it funny we're blowing the demon whore moments on like, the cockatrice matchup

This manga is so slutty and yet so tasteful in it that you can't really call it anything but great in every aspect of its eroticism

Mermaid vs Harpy (quarter finals)

i am so mad rn. a mermaid !? more fuckable than a harpy!? for shame tumblr for shame

White dragon vs Succubus (quarter finals)

Dragon fluffye!

Chimera vs Mermaid (semi-finals)

sorry mermaid. falin fucks supremely.

sorry falin. gotta stand up for my fellow merfolk here

a vote for chimera is a vote for lesbians

Succubus vs Demon (semi-finals)

Not even the sucubbi stands up to the limitless demon sexo

if you think about it. the succubus can turn into the demon's many forms

Chimera vs Demon (finale)

fags and dykes fighting to the death over this one

Listen man. Even if I'm gay I understand why Falin is winning but- Consider that the demon knows your exact wants and desires and could satisfy your sexual needs perfectly. Also when he's buff and humanoid near the end

either of them deserve to win but demon sweep because that fucker showed up in a dream to me once

teef!!!!

VOTE FOR DYKES. VOTE FOR SLEEPY GIRLS. VOTE FOR SHARP LITTLE TEETH

Mermaid vs Succubus (battle for the bronze)

mermaids can't lose to magical mosquito people PLEASE

[reggies-eyeliner]

THE CLASSIC MATCHUP - @littlelilbun

THE "HEAVEN IS A PLACE ON EARTH WITH YOU" COUPLE

#now playing ... video games by lana del rey!

miguel o'hara had never been big on physical touch. or talking. or purposefully making funny jokes. he actually wasn't a big fan on a lot of things. the only person he really regularly talked to was lyla, but that was only because he had to in order to get things going in the spider society-- but someone he could never find himself pushing away from was you. at first, being completely honest, he'd been so busy with monitoring the whole spider society that he'd neglected to realize that you and lyla were attached at the hip. both of you got along great, both having similar wardrobes and the occasional matching sunglasses. what began with conversations with solely lyla, even after work hours, ended with miguel joining in with the occasional wry joke every now and then. that slowly began to grow more into full fleged conversations with the three of you, and you and miguel had created a bond that seemed to be just about unbreakable.

he isn't big on romance, he likes to think, because he doesn't have the time for it. sometimes miguel says the words "the fate of the multiverse" and you and peter b. look at each other and snort a little, but sometimes you see the the corner of his lips twitch.

the first time miguel o'hara does anything remotely romantic is in battle, when some random universe's doc ock decides that you'd be the perfect victim. you weren't awake for most of it, but lyla tells you that miguel had practically dropped everything to save you, refusing to acknowledge the possibility that you wouldn't make it. he had stayed at the hospital every night to look after you, and every day grew into a week into two weeks before you were discharged, and during that time, both of you talked like there was no tomorrow.

when miguel actually realizes that he's in love and he's not having some sort of allergic reaction, he kind of sneaks in a small, quick question, even leaning against the wall to sound extra casual to lyla, "hey uh what's that new album taylor swift released" and lyla drops everything because . why is this man even asking this question . but it doesn't take long for her to connect the dots, and realizes that he wants to know more about your interests and what you like. lyla tells you, obviously, and fortunately, things progress from there.

once you two are actually together, miguel treasures lazy saturday mornings and cozy friday evenings. he even loves the "i'm so exhausted i might die" monday mornings on his way to the spider society, because he's with you. if you struggle with anxiety, while he might not know the best thing to do at first, he'll talk you through it every step of the way. but he won't ever pity you or see you as something broken, he sees you as someone who's deserving of respect, and most importantly, love.

oh man this guy starts keeping an extra hair tie on his wrist for you, or he literally keeps make up wipes in his storage cabinet (he asked peter b advice on what he keeps on hand for his wife 😭<33), and he definitely thinks it's awesome that you're studying six languages, and he'll also definitely ask you about it !! also he loves holding you while sleeping beacuse if a man is touch starved it's him

RANDOMIZED TROPE:

" SHARING A BED "

-> within two weeks of dating, miguel o'hara has realized a lot of things, mainly being that you thrive on physical touch-- something he's tried his best to shake himself away from. but as he watches you, arms opened wide for an embrace laying on a hospital bed after a particulary taxing day fighting doc ock, his heart stutters. slowly, hesitantly, he takes your hand, lying down beside you. he immediately warms up to your embrace, letting your head fall to his chest. lyla takes photos<33

a/n: thank you so so much for the request!! i am so so sorry that this took so long!!! if i missed anything please let me know >:D!<3 i hope you're doing alright + things are going okay for you!! remember to hydrate and eat well, take care!!!

[shirefantasies]

“Hi first I love your stories and match ups, may I ask for a match up in the Hobbit. I'm a 4'11, puerto rican girl, introverted workaholic bookworm on the autistic spectrum. I have long curly dark brown hair with a undercut. I'm also an Aquarius. I suffer from both anxiety and ocd. I tend to hold in anger cause I'm afraid that it will hurt people and I like having my space. I hope this doesn't bother you.” -@cutebean-123

It sure doesn't because you get to be the first person I match with...

Thorin Oakenshield Himself 😌

It really matters not, but one of the first things that strikes the king-to-be is the fact that despite you being a daughter of men you share in his stature. He is not used to looking men of any kind in the eye, rather being looked down on, and this is part of his distrust beyond his own people: the sheer air of condescension that arises. With you, though, you fit in, or blend in at least. He is unsure if Gandalf's recommendation carries weight solely by how shy and unsure you seem upon first meeting him. Struggling at first to actually look him in the eye, largely because you could barely pull your nose from your books! The wizard is insistent your knowledge is great and valuable, and you certainly show more promise than the burglar. The others take to you fairly quickly, especially the brothers Ri. The company’s youngest loves your books, too, it seems.

It stirs something in Thorin how protective the others are of you, the way you’re defended from every match of playful insults and pulled out of danger again and again. He wants to be annoyed, frustrated at the addition of two inexperienced adventurers, but when you share your enthusiasm to see his beautiful kingdom, all the legends you have heard, it simply fizzles out. Soon, the only annoyance he finds himself feeling is at the sight of the others’ hands about your waist even if they are saving you.

He notices the way you don’t tend to express things outwardly and frankly he understands. It only further fuels the shock crossing his face and mind when you snap one day, releasing anger he hadn’t even realized you held beneath your calm exterior. The others had been teasing you too hard and had even taken something of yours, and Thorin instantly barks at them to stop and give it back when he sees. You apologize for causing so much trouble and Thorin just gives a deep chuckle, shaking his head. “How is that your fault? They thought antagonizing someone they found soft was funny? It is no joke at all. That lot could learn a thing or two about order- something I think you and I understand well.” Sentimental or not, even if the object is simply a beloved fidget, the king surprises you with his understanding. Reaching into the large folds of his coat, Thorin pulls out a key. You have seen this key once before back in Bilbo’s home, but now he lets you see it up close. “I find myself toying with this in idleness. The feel of it beneath my fingers… something of it is reassuring. I understand you.” Something about those words break down your smile, bringing you to wrap your arms around the king, who breaks into an uncharacteristically shy smile. “Understanding is not something we often come by, is it? And yet here I think our hearts can rest.” He feels your nod of agreement once your head rests upon his shoulder.

Taglist: @lokilover476 @fuckyoumakeart @mossthebogwitch @ibabblealot @kilibaggins @joonies-word @stormchaser819 @pirate-lord-of-narnia @datglutengoblin @letmelickyoureyeballs @mossyskinn | Reply/Ask/Message to join 🥰

***MATCHUPS ARE CLOSED***