#being able to truly make my space my own and surround myself with things i cherish would be nice

[boopshoops]

What your favorite TWST character says about you :)

As a note before I begin: I saw one of these that shamed malleus and randomly even chenya enjoyers- (claimed that they were pick mes or something? 😭) so i wanted to make one that was more positive out of spite <3 make it more about the writing and why people appreciate the characters. Take each of these with a grain of salt i spose- also a lot of them share similar themes <3

(Aka fans who have different views or even blatantly incorrect views of characters will always exist everywhere, but insulting the entirety of a group solely for enjoying a character, many for different reasons, is probably not a great idea!

I get that sometimes people suck and thats understandable, but quit generalizing ok? Ok.

From a malleus enjoyer who just thinks hes a silly little guy and im tired of feeling like i have to defend myself bc he's my blorbo 😵‍💫)

Final note: i love unapologetically taking frustration and turning it into something that can make people smile 💕 also i blindly wrote this from 11pm-midnight :))) dividers by @/cafekitsune!

Heartslabyul:

Riddle: you enjoy and/or relate to the idea of healing from the past. Working hard to improve oneself for the ones around you and yourself: creating a healthier environment where you can be happy

Trey: there is immense complexity in things that are seemingly mundane. Digging deeper and deeper to find something truly sweet and heart warming is your joy.

Cater: maybe you relate, or maybe you used to, or maybe parts of the connections made in the past/presence/future dont feel as deep as you truly want them to be. There is something beautiful about a desire for genuine human connection, but also peace in being alone. There is a safe space for you yet, just be patient. 💕

Deuce: you love drive and determination. An endless stubbornness that keeps one going against all odds. Against every person who tells someone they cant. You watch them get proven wrong, and its pure bliss.

Ace: you find the connection between people beyond words heartwarming: even the seemingly simple ones. The ability to have a connection with someone who can get up to some mischief, tease back and forth, yet be there when you need them to be one of the most valuable things.

Savanaclaw:

Leona: Adversity over a lack of belief in oneself is a very difficult thing to overcome- yet it is very possible with the right crowd, the right amount of time, healing, and effort. You think someone's worth lies more than just within their title/job/appearance, but within the fact that they are able to stand back up and keep moving onward despite the odds. The hope for that change, and the ability to get out of bed in the morning on its own is strength.

Ruggie: Despite being through so much trauma at such a young age, recovery happens anyway. Its not perfect, at times the lessons learned are even rough. The survival tactics that once helped are now hard to ditch when theyre not needed anymore, but the ability to smile and joke and keep pushing onwards is something you value in life.

Jack: Self discipline can be both extremely useful as well as harmful in different ways. You find the way people can constantly strive to better themselves at what they love and/or morally to be highly admirable.

Octavinelle:

Azul: People can be cruel. And sometimes that cruelty inspires cruelty. Sometimes its simply used as a way to move on and survive insecurities created from it. Its hard, its a fight, but those insecurities are part of what make people beautiful. They are nothing to be ashamed of, and even the many tactics and smart ways of learning to overcome cruelness can be beautiful too.

Jade: The mind is extremely powerful. Intelligence and knowledge are not the only important things, no. Using that intel to find entertainment in the surrounding world can be exhilarating. Finding and discovering new unknowns: learning their ins and outs until they're a part of you is something you can relate to.

Floyd: speaking of fun- you love what is essentially the written version of a roller coaster. Ups and downs, ins and outs. Every single twist and turn is exhilarating and new. Every different perspective provides new insight into a multitude of different things. You are along for the ride, and you are having a lovely time.

Scarabia:

Jamil: self discovery can be very difficult after purposefully suppressing parts of one's self for a long time. Yet, the healing happens anyway (once again aha <3). People discover new parts of themselves, slowly becoming more comfortable not only with their environment, but how they react to it. The discovery is freedom, and freedom is bliss to you. New traits about oneself bloom like a flower: if not in the soil, then stubbornly in the cracks of cement. You gently take that bloom from the concrete and pot it, placing it gingerly in a beam of sunlight.

Kalim: Happiness isnt only sunshine to the one smiling, but to everyone else around them. It is delightfully infectious. However, happiness isnt a constant. You think emotions all emotions should be experienced rather than suppressed, because holding back sadness for the sake of others is a disservice to one's self. Discovering your own emotions, any range of them, is what makes people uniquely human. If anyone is holding those emotions back- hell, any part of them back, they need to be let out of the cage.

Pomefiore:

Vil: "Beauty is on the inside" is a saying thats been around for a long time, but beauty comes in so many forms. It can come from the stubborn desire to improve one's self: to be kinder, to help those around you, to be good. However it is impossible to be perfect. At times, for some, this can be crushing. People are hurt unintentionally, natural frustration can brew, the wrong actions can be taken: and thats okay. You believe whats important is to pick yourself up and keep going. To err is to be human, and that is beautiful too.

Rook: Error is beautiful. Symmetry is beautiful. Asymmetry is beautiful. A crack in the side walk is beautiful. Small things are beautiful, big things are beautiful. The nurturing of something through endless care is beautiful. The undeniable traits and hobbies of every individual that make them unique are beautiful. You find the endless optimism in finding beauty to be, in itself, beautiful.

Epel: Sometimes people will view others in ways that they wish not to be perceived as. This isnt in our control, as much as we sometimes want it to be. All you can do i be unapologetically yourself. To be you to the utmost degree. To prove those who thought otherwise to be foolish. You find this strength to find value in yourself despite others opinions admirable.

Ignihyde:

Idia: you have depression /j

Ok for real-

Life can be such a cunt. It can beat a person down, down, down and leave them vulnerable enough to fear it. To fear that beating, whenever it may next come. The anxiety of never knowing what or who will come next, or what one could lose. At times it feels more comforting to find a routine in solitude. But you know that the small things that give joy will wiggle their way in with time. The broken will meet people who love and care and find comfort in the companionship of healing, even from the little things: like a new story to read or game to play.

Ortho: You value unconditional support. Support through everything: the good, the bad, the just kind of okay. Knowing that someone can have ones back for every little thing- to be there solely because they care and wish the best for others- is something you look up to and maybe even wish to be for another.

Diasomnia:

Malleus: god damn people can be so hard to read and understand. They are so complicated: they are books you have to pay attention to from start to finish. But once you reach the end, you have a deep seated appreciation for them, and for the ones who stuck around to read your book too. Even if it was just for a fleeting moment: it is a happy moment. As painful as temporary things can be, it is also what you think can make the relationships we love and have loved so valuable.

Lilia: there can be suffering everywhere. There is war. There is famine. But there are also endless new sights to see. New discoveries to be made to help those still going through famine and war. New ways to love and understand people you never thought you'd understand. The development and positive parts of humanity, even though at times it can look bleak, are ever present to you. You love the discovery: of places and of people.

Silver: you believe that there is solace in being your own individual, regardless of who you are bound by blood to. Being shaped my experiences, friends, hardships, and new places are what make a person who they are. You value finding roots in and making your own home.

Sebek: Dedication can be a hard thing to come by, but when it does it can grab someone by the reigns. Using every waking moment to cherish that thing, learn more about it, become better at something, and strive to better ones self can be very admirable to you. But, on the other hand, it also calls for the occasional rest.

OTHER (just for ones I know well enough, sorry!)

Neige: You love kindness despite hardship. One can go through horrible things and still choose to be kind. The world could begin to end, and one could still choose to be kind, because it means everything.

Chenya: Curiosity fuels exploration. It fuels art. It fuels everything. It fuels excitement. It fuels friendships. It fuels medicine. It fuels life. Curiosity is endlessly fun, and you think that is very whimsical

Meleanor: Sacrifice for others can be tragic. Knowing what another person has given up for someone else, maybe even everything, is gut wrenching but undeniably a selfless love to you.

Crewel: There can be kindness in strictness. In teachings, there can be a parental guide. There can be someone who cares for you and undeniably wants you to succeed. They know that you can, so they push you towards it. You want this support.

Trein: Love surpasses time. When the ones we love are gone, the memories of them are still held close, with the love once given to them, we can show to others through advice and guidance that comes with time. You find comfort in that.

Crowley: People are flawed. We all know this, yet despite a persons flaws... however many there may be, there is still something hopeful and human about it. About having those flaws and persisting regardless. You may even like those flaws, and the unashamed desire to press on even with them on display.

Fellow/Ernesto: Live for yourself. This is what you desire. People are often caught up in material or monetary things. After all, we live in a world that required it to survive and even be respected. To throw away those views and simply live as you see fit: regardless as to whether you earn those things or not, is something you admire.

Rollo: Sometimes the attachment we have to those we lost can be painful. Regardless, that pain is proof that there was care and love. The things done for others, whether alive or dead, are done selflessly. Grief can fuel hatred, but it can also be caused by love. To unlearn hatred and learn to love again after the fear of loss is a natural human experience. It is a process you understand and admire those who take the time and strength needed to properly love again.

Thank you for reading <3

Tags <3

@lowcallyfruity @skriblee-ksk @justm3di0cr3 @cecilebutcher @kitwasnothere

@techno-danger @thehollowwriter @distant-velleity @the-trinket-witch @scint1llat3

@beneathsakurashade @qsoap @twsted-canvas @prince-kallisto @kathxrat-01

@sillyslipperybananapeel @jadelover69 @tixdixl @twstinginthewind

[skrunksthatwunk]

let it be known that this started as what if i became a doll collector and the answer is still that im unemployed

what if i became a figure collector (<- unemployed)

[thanksbutno98]

4am

John Price x wife!reader OC

Summary: Nine months of pregnancy brings out some hard feelings for John Price and his wife.

Warnings: pregnancy, body image issues, low self esteem, domestic argument, swearing, not edited.

Authors note: Wrote this one for myself lol Gotten to a point in pregnancy I can’t do most things without my husband’s help. Also, stairs are the worst, you can’t change my mind.

——————

John’s eyes shot open at the sounds of pained groaning and heavy breathing. Sitting up he dove for his nightstand and pulled the draw string of his bedside lamp. It took only a second for his eyes to adjust as he moved to check on you; the source of the groans.

“Darling, are you okay? Is it happening!?�� John was taking in the sight of you.

His sweet wife was nine months pregnant with pillows surrounding you and the comforter kicked off. You were quietly sobbing into your hands which had become common most day now. Bringing you to tears use to be close to impossible but now they came fast and easy. The first thought was that you were going into labor and it happened while you were sleeping. John had been on edge ever since your son reached full term, now it was just a waiting game.

“No.” You cried pathetically as you laid on your back. You kicked your feet and threw your hands harshly against the pillows surrounding you as if you were throwing a tantrum.

“What’s wrong?” John asked getting up to kneel over you. He was ready to scoop you up and dash to the hospital.

“I’m a fucking turtle.” You sobbed loudly.

The comment had John stilling and staring at you utterly confused. You used one hand to cover your eyes while the other rubbed your large belly. The crying continued into quiet sobs until John opened his mouth and then you were wailing again.

“What?” John asked quietly.

“A turtle who got flipped on his shell! I’m stuck on my back and can’t roll over to get up and pee!” Your tears went from worrying your husband to now the sweetest fit ever thrown. If you were truly a turtle you were the cutest one he’d ever seen.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” John cooed and gently ran his hand over your hair and pulled the pillow away from the side of the bed.

He then grasped your hip and shoulder and gently helped you roll over on to your side and sit up. As soon as your feet touched the floor you were up and waddling as fast as you could toward the bathroom. Holding back laughter John thought you looked so endearing in his white t-shirt that use to be baggy on you and his red plaid pajama pants. You were far from quick but you were trying your best to be with your arms moving faster than your legs.

Your crying exploded once out of sight and John was hesitantly getting out of bed to check on you. He had slept naked so he took a moment to slip on boxers. Normally you two gave each other space when using the bathroom but since you’d entered the final few weeks of pregnancy that had flown out the window.

You started walking in on John without care to tell him to get off his phone and hurry up. His protests fell on deaf ears and locking the door didn’t even stop you. Being as smart as you were, you were able to figure out how to jimmy the locked door open and tell him to stop ignoring you and hurry up.

There were a few times you needed help getting your pants back up and were scared if you stood you’d trip and hurt yourself. This resulted in John having to help you and wiggle your leggings back up for you. Peaking his head into the bathroom John saw you standing in the shower crying into your hands instead of where he thought you’d be.

“What are you doing?” John chuckled as he walked in.

“I couldn’t make it so I thought if I was gonna pee my pants it’s better I do it in the shower.” Your tears weren’t stopping. It was no longer from being uncomfortable, unable to move or get up on your own, but was now from embarrassment. You were a grown woman peeing your pants it felt humiliating.

“Smart.” John hummed with a smirk he was trying to hide.

Something about his suave and graceful wife peeing her pants was frankly amusing. You were normally so collected and elegant but being this pregnant had made what felt like simple things impossible some days.

“Don’t laugh at me!” You cried harder the embarrassment heating up your skin.

“I’m not laughing, only smiling.” John countered which wasn’t helping.

He was now pulling out a fresh towel for you and making his way over. John watched you sniffle and continue to lightly cry as you undressed and tossed the soiled clothes onto the floor outside the shower.

“I’ll get these in the wash.” He spoke kindly trying his best not to laugh and make things worse for you.

“Could you bring me another one of your t-shirts and your blue gym shorts?” You croaked.

“Of course. Would you prefer boxers?” John asked sweetly.

Wearing John’s t-shirts, hoodies, or sweatpants had always been something you did and something John loved to see you in. Although recently you had strictly been wearing his clothes to bed, around the house, and a few times to run errands. For you it was the only thing that actually fit nowadays and you didn’t want to invest in clothes that you would only wear for a month.

It left John doing laundry significantly more and constantly running out of his nice boxers because you preferred the good ones. It was also strange to actively be sharing his wardrobe because it didn’t stop at sleep attire. You had been wearing his hoodies, long sleeves, flannels, quarter zips, gym shorts, joggers, sweat pants, and coats. John was waiting for you to start nicking his socks at this point.

“Yeah, I would.” You shook your head eagerly.

“Anything for you.” John left a kiss on your cheek before gathering the clothes and leaving them on the bathroom counter.

John waited for a thank you that didn’t come. The shower turned on instead but he tried to shrug it off. You had just completely embarrassed yourself so he chalked it up to you being preoccupied.

——————

“Johnnnn!” Your voice carried through the first floor as you whined for your husband.

John was sitting at the kitchen table going through some bills and sighing heavily that you needed him so soon. Not even twenty minutes ago he had gotten you situated on the couch with your book, the tv remote, breakfast, your water bottle, and a chocolate bar. He just wanted some time to himself and a little bit of space.

Today had started off rough and was continuing to be that way. After your shower John helped you get situated in bed but not to go back to sleep. Instead at 4am you insisted on watching tv and having a late night snack. John wasn’t even sure it could be considered a late night snack but rather an early breakfast. Either way he was the one to bring up your crisps and water. He tried to go back to sleep but struggled with the tv light, your giggles and loud chewing. You also kept leaning over to check if he was asleep and having eyes on him while trying to drift off made him restless.

Walking into the living room John saw you struggling to get up from the couch. He stood there and watched for a second as you pushed up but that didn’t work. So you tried to rock your body weight back then quickly forward but that also didn’t get you to your feet. You shifted in your seat until your bottom was on the edge but by that point you were panting from exertion

“Need help?” John chuckled as your head snapped to look at him. Yeah it was annoying for him to have to stop in the middle of what he was doing but you were pretty cute.

“Thank god, help.” You stuck your arms out and did grabby hands. Moving around the couch John’s much larger hands grasped yours and easily brought you up to your feet.

“Better?” John went to kiss you but you were already shuffling by him. Once again forgetting to say ‘thank you.’

“Gotta pee.” You waddled out of the room leaving him hanging.

John swore he turned invisible and you saw him as a means to an end not your chivalrous husband. It felt like he was your errand boy that you sent out to fetch you things and waved him away when no longer needed. It was starting to irritate that the expectation was that he was suppose to drop everything at a moments notice to get you a glass of water or do whatever it was you needed with no recognition. His autonomy felt like it was slipping away and today was especially bad. It was all begining to hurt his feelings and tick him off.

With a huff John made his way back to the kitchen. He passed by you coming out of the bathroom on the way. Seeing your husband with a stoic expression instead of his normal content face while home made you pause. You stopped right outside the bathroom and gave him your cheesiest smile for the pure fact you found him to be amazing. Your face dropped as he walked right past not sparing a glance at you.

“You upset with me?” You couldn’t hide the emotion in your voice. It had become especially easy to hurt your feelings recently and even you admitted at times it was ridiculous.

You weren’t sure what you had done to upset John. It had been a rough day for you so far and you had been struggling since getting stuck on your back in the middle of the night. Your feet hurt, back ached, you were nauseous yet starving at the same time, sleep deprived, and generally uncomfortable all the time. The little boy you were carrying was also an expert at kicking you in the lungs and ribs which only added to the discomfort and caused you to be winded a lot easier.

“No. You’re perfect.” John answered back evenly but you could hear a hint of sarcasm.

Walking after him you followed John into the kitchen. He went and sat at the kitchen table to go through the bills you normally were in charge of. If John wasn’t constantly being pulled away for work it would be his job in the house but you were the one who was consistently home so it fell to you.

“Oh! I forgot to pay those. I can do it now, didn’t mean to leave them for you.” You immediately thought that was what John was upset about.

He already did so much around the house you could justify why taking on the chores you could do would rub him the wrong way. He already picked up the laundry and general cleaning because you couldn’t bend down to pick things up at this stage. Carrying a baby felt like an even trade to you because you never had a second off. It was constant and exhausting.

“I’ve got it.” John mumbled trying to focus on what was in front of him.

He could see you out of the corner of his eye inching further and further into his line of sight. You had been doing this since you were first dating when he refused to look at you. The avoidant tactic was commonly neutralized because John would look up at you all annoyed and you’d be giving him your biggest smile that usually had him lightening up.

Looking up with a heavy sigh John was expecting that cheesy smile that made his heart flutter but it wasn’t there. You were staring back at him looking completely self conscious and lost. Somehow that felt worse than anything else. Your fingers were curled around the edge of the green baggy crew neck you wore and shoulders sagged. Your eyes were big and wide, silently begging him for love while your pretty lips were slightly downturned.

“You’re upset with me.” You stated with a tremble in your voice.

“I’m-“ John tapped the pen he was holding on the table not sure how to put his feelings into words. Normally he liked to brood about them until they either went away or he was ready to talk about them; right now it was too fresh. Avoiding the topic felt easier because when he didn’t have time to process he usually said something he regretted.

“Tired. I’m tired.” John concluded which didn’t seem to convince you.

“Yeah, but you’re also upset with me. What did I do?” You asked seeming to be getting your own feelings hurt that John could be upset with you. It frustrated John when this would happen, it felt to him as if he was not allowed to ever be upset, angry, frustrated, or annoyed with you over something.

“You didn’t do anything.” John pushed again.

“John.” You whined knowing him well enough he was fibbing. John looked down and was trying to say this without sounding like a prick but your pushiness was only irritating him more.

“It seems like you’ve forgotten how to say please and thank you. I’m not a servant you can boss around whenever you feel like. I shouldn’t have to drop everything I’m doing to fetch you whatever your latest unnecessary need is or help you stand up. It’s not like you’re still doing the laundry or cleaning the house.” It sounded passive aggressive because it was.

There was an undertone of sexism that wasn’t meant to be there. You and John both agreed upon a certain division of labor in the house and cleaning just happened to be what you preferred. He hated doing laundry so you happily took that on while he was the one who cleaned the bathrooms and handled all yard work except for your garden. He was also in charge of fixing anything that broke in the house and general maintenance while you handled the finances, bills, and taxes. Everything else was shared or you took turns doing, like dishes or figuring out what was on the menu.

It also wasn’t a statement about his feelings but more of a slight towards you. John watched as the sad look on your face twisted in anger. Your eyebrows raised and big eyes went from sorrow to fury.

“Okay. Thank you for helping me stand to get to the bathroom so I don’t pee my pants because the baby I’m growing is squishing my bladder. Thank you so much for doing your own laundry. Oh and thanks for helping me clean for the past month because I’m too huge to do anything myself!” You matched John’s passive aggressiveness with outright aggression by the time you were done speaking.

If you could storm out of the room you would have. Your dramatic exit wasn’t what it normally would have been as you waddled out of the kitchen and then stopped to add one last dig.

“This is your fault by the way. You’re the potent one who never pulls out, I was on birth control.” You snapped, pointing at your belly, before waddling angrily away. The jab felt more like a compliment from where John was sitting but your tone was infuriating.

Half way down the hall you got a cramp in your lower back and had to shuffle waddle to the stairs. You couldn’t figure out if you were angrier because of the pain or because your husband was that big of an idiot. He always had a way of weaponizing his feelings and at the moment you were over it. John was up and following you, catching up quickly due to your lack of mobility.

“You don’t have to turn it around on me. Maybe think about what I’m saying?” John was right behind you as you began to go up the stairs. Hand holding your lower back where the cramping was most intense.

“Or you could just be nice to your pregnant wife and stop complaining. I should be the only one allowed to complain.” You retorted.

Standing at the bottom of the stairs John watched you try and stomp up to your bedroom but you paused halfway up the flight to catch your breath. He couldn’t help but feel sorry for you that moving around the house had become such a hassle. When you weren’t pregnant you were normally zooming around the house getting everything done and making it look easy while also having a full time job.

“Let me help you.” John began to ascend the stairs to give you a hand up and then to your room. He couldn’t see you struggle and not step in no matter how miffed he was. John tried to grab your elbow but you swatted him away.

“You’re not my servant.” You hissed, using John’s own words against him.

“Darling.” John spoke exasperated, rolling his head back at how over the top he felt you were being.

You ignored him. Using the railing to lean on, you made your way to the top of the stairs and to your bedroom. Pretending like your lungs didn’t burn from your little boy kicking them twice, hard, making you wheeze slightly. Taking a breath John mulled over what he should do next. He was kicking himself for the way he chose to share what was bugging him. He tried to not sound like a prick and still did, all because he was annoyed.

Jogging up the stairs John was expecting the door to be shut but it was wide open. You were sitting on the edge of the bed head downcast and catching your breath. Your belly was protruding from the green crew neck of his you wore.

“I forgot to shut the door.” You waved your hand in John’s direction as if that would magically shut the door in his face.

John decided maybe being a little playful might diffuse the situation before it turned into a runaway argument. John grabbed the door handle and shut your bedroom door. Knocking only a second later he peaked his head in to see you looking back and lightly scoffing at his little display. Deep down you found this disarming and it helped quell your anger that was bubbling inside you.

“You okay?” John asked with a small smile that spoke ‘please forgive me.’ It was tough for him to see you struggling to make it up a flight of stairs let alone keep up with an argument.

“He keeps kicking me in the lungs.” You wheezed slightly as your little boy landed another blow.

“What’s that feel like?” John asked softly as he came to sit next to you.

The bed sagged under his weight. He was feeling like an idiot for being so short with you. Of course he knew you weren’t asking these things of him because you were being lazy but because you were struggling. It was obvious to the man you needed support and he couldn’t understand why he chose to throw that in your face. John’s hand came up and started to caress your back lovingly. It made your body not hurt so much or it helped draw your attention away from the discomfort for a moment.

“Hurts. Like if someone wrapped you up in a hug and squeezed you tight for a quick second. Only I can feel it on the inside which makes it weirder.” You mumbled.

Your hands were splayed over your belly as you replayed what John said to you downstairs. It felt sharp and jagged which was unlike him when it came to you. You knew John had a harsh and somewhat cruel side reserved for the military that he tucked away when home. Sometimes it came out in arguments with unjust words or a flare of a temper you weren’t use to.

“Maybe he’ll play for Liverpool one day.” The joke was meant to diffuse the tension like you did so well.

“Maybe.” You lightly chuckled in a melancholy kind of way.

“I’m sorry. Shouldn’t have said what I did like I did.” Kissing your temple John hoped this spat wouldn’t go any further. It wasn’t worth it and he could own up to his shortness.

“You really feel that way?” Looking up you could see by the way John stared back at you he was hesitant to be honest.

“It’s hard on me too. You being pregnant.” John gestured to your belly.

“Hard on you?” You asked in disbelief.

“Don’t, don’t be upset with me for feeling that way. I know it’s harder on you and you’re the one who’s taking all the risks and doing all the hard work. I see that and I can appreciate that. And thank you. Thank you so much for growing our family.” John spoke earnestly and took your hand in his.

“That being said it shouldn’t take away from the ways I’ve had to step up. I’m doing my best and trying to give you everything you ask for. I’m just looking for a little more appreciation and love.” The feelings came out easier this time for John. Watching you struggle had him seeing sense and able to articulate himself much better.

“That’s fair. I’m sorry I forget to say thank you. I love you so much and wouldn’t be able to do this without you. I guess I take you for granted sometimes.” Hearing John’s feelings laid out in a measured way was a lot easier for you to understand.

It didn’t feel like an attack against you when he spoke to you calmly. It also helped you realize too that he was stepping up for you and your little boy the best he could. No man is perfect and you hoped he wasn’t trying to be, but if he was some appreciation was in order.

“And that’s okay. I should be doing all the things I do. You deserve it, especially with how tough this has been on your body.” John wrapped you up in a hug after he spoke. He truly meant what he was saying and appreciated you greatly for the burden you had taken on to give him a child.

Pulling away John saw a sweet smile dusting your lips and tears welling in your eyes. Only now they were the loving kind. The kind he saw on anniversaries or moments he proclaimed his undying love to you. For you, you felt seen and valued for the burden you had taken on to bring your son into your budding family.

“Yeah, but I should still say thank you. So, thank you, John. I really do appreciate you waking up in the middle of the night to roll me out of bed because I’ve turned into a turtle stuck on its shell. And how you always have my favorite snacks on hand and will go out and get me whatever I want. And! How you rub my swollen feet almost every night. How you still make me feel sexy and desired even though I’m a blimp now.” By the end of your little love confession you had become shy under John’s growing smirk and sparkling baby blues.

You were telling him everything he’d been wanting to hear all at once. The man couldn’t help but beam with pride as you acknowledged everything that went unthanked. He knew in that moment you did see his effort and he hadn’t turned invisible.

“You’re not a blimp.” John whispered before placing a sweet kiss to your cheek.

“Thank you for lying.” Your joke made John chuckle.

“A cute blimp.” John playfully teased hoping his joke wasn’t too far.

“My belly’s huge! I don’t know how I move sometimes.” Lifting up your shirt you showed off your large rounded baby bump. It was so large when you stood you couldn’t see your toes. A true human turned blimp if you’d ever seen one.

“Well there’s an entire baby in there. It makes sense.” John smiled widely and he placed his hand over the exposed skin. His thumb lightly stroked over the bump as he pictured who your little boy might be.

“Yeah, hopefully not for much longer.” You spoke softly as you rested your head against John’s shoulder.

“Can’t wait for him. He’s going to be perfect.” The words were soft and spoken with so much love it had you falling more and more for your husband.

“You think so?” You questioned.

“With a mum like you how can he not be.”

——————

“John.” Your distressed voice had your husband’s eyes shooting open.

You were shaking his shoulder gently to wake him up. Rolling over John flipped on his lamp and was quick to check on you. He was instantly reaching out for you, his hand coming to rest against your belly and eyes locking on to yours.

“Are you okay?” John was asking as he took the sight of you in.

You were lying on your back, covers kicked off and big tears in your eyes. A sly smile spread across his face while yours was fixed in a frown. He had a feeling he knew what was going on.

“Stuck?” He chuckled and you frantically shook your head.

“Help.” You whispered.

John quickly moved to help you roll onto your side and get you to your feet as fast as possible. He let out a laugh seeing you fast waddle to the bathroom where you successfully made it unlike the previous night. You let out an obnoxiously loud content sigh for the purpose of John to hear. It made him chuckle deeply.

Getting up you shimmied John’s sweat pants back up and went to wash your hands. You took a moment to appreciate your large pregnant belly in the bathroom mirror. You were wearing a black sports bra and John’s baggy grey sweat pants. Rubbing your hands over your tummy you inspected your belly button that now looked flat. It was easy to feel huge and fat being this pregnant but after how sweet your husband had been you were feeling beautiful. Looking at your self you smiled appreciating how cute you looked with your large belly because it all meant you were carrying your baby boy and that was something beautiful.

With a sigh you checked the time and realized it was 4am again. You weren’t feeling tired anymore but knew laying back down was for the best. After keeping John up for so long the previous night you didn’t want to do that to him again. Making your way into your bedroom you were ready to lay awake for the next few hours.

John had a different plan for you. The first thing you saw was John shirtless sitting up in bed and munching on pretzels. His mutton chop cheeks plumped up with a cheesy smile when he saw you.

“What are we watching?” John asked gesturing for you to come join him with the remote in his hand.

“You don’t have to stay up I know you’re tired!” Your words didn’t match your sentiment.

You were already making your way to bed and struggling to crawl in. John chuckled and helped you get comfortable and settled into bed with your back propped up with some pillow. Soon you had a bowl of your favorite snack at the moment and a bottle of water.

“Thank you, John.” You hummed and put on the tv show you had been watching. The little thanks made John beam. It was such a small thing to add into the equation but it meant so much to him. For him it made him feel seen and that you valued his effort in this moment.

“Don’t want you feeling lonely.” John kissed your cheek and went back to snacking on his pretzels.

John had to admit to himself waking up in the middle of the night to have a snack was pretty nice. He never knew he would be hungry at 4am if it wasn’t for you. Yes he’d be gaining unneeded weight but he’d happily join you as being a blimp if it meant spending time supporting you. You were everything to him and a late night snack was never going to stop him from showing you that.

~~~~~tag list~~~~~

@exhaustedpotat0 @glitterypirateduck @ivymarquis @crazymela @what-0-life @boredfairy4 @hihhasotherfixations @stephanswhxre @shanjisan @k4es @luvleywrites @kita03-0 @midwesternwitchery @aleynaleia @suckerforbassist @misshoneypaper @theaonlax @blackstar9005 @tooterbutt @havoc973 @maladaptivedaydreamingbum @freshlemontea @cosmoscoffeee @sae1kie @ohworm-writes @ghostslittlegf @fanficwriterlover @arminarlertssword @faceache111 @azu21 @thirstyb-ches @nini-11-08 @sgtgarricks @kiki-is-hyperfixating @mayflysdie

[academically-stupid]

Avalon | Prologue

poly!bts x male!reader | vampire!AU | reader x vampire!bts | ot7 x male!reader

Caught one night when bathing in the river by his home M/n is taken by a group of men. Realising the situation he has found himself in, M/n's number one priority is getting out of there alive. Easier said than done when you've got to get past seven bloodthirsty and ridiculously horny vampires hellbent on making him their newest blood bag.

A/N: I got inspired while reading @colormepurplex2 's series, so go show her some support!! This is my first fic so pls give me advice or write if you notice any mistakes. Yess DPR IAN is my face claim for M/n, I love this man too much. Thank you thank you, enjoy!

His hands trembled as he followed the black-haired man down the hallway, thoughts running and changing faster than his mind could keep up with. Was this it? Was this where his life would end? Not that there was much of a life to begin with, but he had so many things he had yet to do, so many sights and places he hoped he would one day be able to see, even if only for a moment.

Stopping in front of a large oak door he paused, leaving a good distance between him and his kidnappers, just what did they want with him? If they were going to kill him then do it already? Why make him wait, why prolong the inevitable?

The man in front of him sighed, causing him to freeze up. Shit. Did he say something? Has he somehow made his situation even worse by making it seem as though he had not been listening, choosing to actively ignore the all-powerful man in front of him? The man who held his very life in the palm of his hands, free to do with it as he pleased. Free to end it any way he wanted. 

“You know," he said, looking back at him "for someone who doesn’t speak, you sure do have a lot to say”. Turning around he opened the door, with the taller man begrudgingly following shortly behind.

Beautiful. Truly whoever had decorated this building- this mansion- deserved the highest of praise. Deep maroon walls surrounded him, the colour seeming to match the aura of the brooding man before him. Only one window seemed visible, and even then, the curtains that hung from the high ceilings, cascading like a bloody waterfall, seemed to cover what little light managed to fight its way through.

“Well, are you going to come in or am I going to have to pull you in here myself?” Was all he said, cocking his head slightly, as though giving him a choice. Quickly he shuffled in as fast as his feet could make him. The illusion of a choice

Sure he didn’t really think this would in any way put a stop to his inevitable doom, but maybe listening to them would make the end less painful. Even if it sounded stupid in his head, the idea of there being even the slightest chance at a painless end spurred him to bite his tongue and do as the men told him.

Sitting down on the bed that stood in the middle of the room, the centrepiece, the man gestured to the space in front of him. Too close. He wanted him far too close for his liking. But what choice did he have? 

Begrudgingly he slowly made his way towards the man. Though perhaps he was too slow because the next thing he knows he’s being pulled by the arm, tripping over his own feet, falling to his knees in front of a now annoyed vampire. Shit.

A rhetorical question. He was obviously not expecting an answer from the man kneeling before him who had yet to say a single word. Did he not know that staying silent was useless, that he could hear his thoughts over the span of an entire forest? The very thing that got him into this situation in the first place? 

‘No’ Yoongi thought to himself, letting out a deep breath of frustration. There had to be more to it.

Of all the people Namjoon could have chosen from, why had it been him who was stuck on babysitting duty? No, babysitting was the wrong word for his current situation. The way that the man in front of him carried himself. The way he kept his legs tucked underneath him, hands clasped together on his thighs, the slight tremble visible only to the perseptive eyes of him and his brothers.

This felt closer to pet sitting if anything. He had not been blind to the way that he always kept a safe distance between himself and any of the guys in the house. Sighing he got up, for once having enough of the silence. The man was quick to jump to his feet. Whether to fight, run or hide Yoongi wasn’t certain.

"Stay here," he said walking towards the door he just came from. He had heard the front door open and close shut, signaling the return of the others. "I'll be right back, and I think we both know it would be in your best interest to stay put."

And with that, the door was closed. Sealing yet another victims fate.

Yet something kept bother Yoongi, as he walked down the corridor towards his brothers study, where the rest of them were bound to already be lounging about.

Why was this new humans scent so enticing? Was it even healthy for a living breathing human being to smell that much like death? Whatever it was Yoongi knew they were going to figure it out, with or without your cooperation.

One thing was for sure though;

This was gonna be a pain.

[super-paper]

you don't have to respond to this if you don't want to, but--I saw you mentioning you felt stupid earlier and I'm going through the same feelings myself but I just wanted to say that your analysis of my hero academia was genuinely the best I'd ever seen after following the comic for almost an entire decade(I've been here since almost the beginning...). it's not your fault if the writing took a bizarre turn, you were correctly recognizing things about the story that was presented to you and I've really appreciated your presence ever since the first time I read one of your posts.

Thank you for your kind words, they really helped me feel better. I always enjoy reading your thoughts as well, so I hope you are able to feel better soon as well.

At any rate, I think I'm a bit calmer now-- At the risk of setting myself up for more heartbreak in two weeks, I really think there's no way for it not to be a fake out because Tenko dying sincerely is a failure on every level for so-so-so many characters and the story as a whole. Izuku wanted to redefine OFA as a power meant for saving not killing, yet OFA ends up killing Tenko anyway? We get a scene where the main villain literally mocks Tenko for having never been his own person and commands him to disappear, and he does?? Nana ultimately fails to save her family from AFO a third and final time??? The Yoichi expy is ultimately forced to die while tethered to his abuser and is never allowed to truly escape or live a life outside of AFO???? Spinner pushes himself to his absolute limit and Kurogiri sacrifices himself because they both want to save Tenko, and it ends up being all for nothing????? Toshinori never gets any resolution with his beloved mentor's sole remaining family and has to live with the pain of once again failing to save her legacy?????? Tenko wants to become a hero to the villains, to the LOV specifically, but dies while all of them are literally hanging on by a thread at this time???????? Gran Torino was right??????????? There's bittersweet endings and there's bleak endings, and this is absolutely bleak if true.

Like, I know death and rebirth are huge themes in MHA-- but this is a case where the overall build up and execution of the chapter has left much to be desired. Still, the fact that Tenko says the name "Shigaraki Tomura" in quotation marks in the raw text does lend to the idea that this is actually the death of his villain persona rather than the death of the individual-- my other big concern rn is how Tenko's rebirth will ultimately be executed, since he still asks Izuku to pass a message along to Spinner on his behalf. Like..... a resurrection that has him losing his memories of his life as Tomura, or reverting back to his young "untraumatized" self, obviously feels wrong for entirely different reasons-- but this is just speculation atp and I don't wanna get worked up over smthing that hasn't happened yet.

Tenko's ""death"" also shares explicit parallels to both Toshinori's and Katsuki's brushes with death, so I do think Hrkshi could make things come full circle in a satisfying way here-- if Tenko's death is the only one that actually sticks while the heroes are allowed to defy all odds and resurrect/be reborn as the best possible versions of themselves, then obviously there's no salvaging the story. But I wanna have faith.

(Side note: Tenko/Toshi/Katsuki's (and even Touya's) limbo scenes depict them as surrounded by light and "sharing" that infinite space with someone who sincerely wants them to live-- and these scenes are starkly contrasted with AFO's limbo scenes, where his moments before death all depict as him being surrounded by darkness while being mocked by the vestiges of his victims.)

Anyway!!! At my own peril, I'll be leaning hard into the "Tenko Shimura: Rising + quirk awakening + aura!might using his vestige and the remnants of OFA to fill in the gaps of the broken reconstruction quirk (thereby fulfilling Izuku's wish to turn OFA into a power that exists to save while also helping Tenko symbolically embrace that he has the power to do more than just destroy-- he can save the villains through creation, not destruction)" theories from this point forward.

[realkyuhoney]

Still so proud of this... 🥺

SasuNaru ASMR.

Written by me. Performed by Yuri Lowenthal.

~~~~

Naruto…

Are you… already asleep?

Heh… Of course you are. It's been a long and exhausting mission. Feels like we’ve had a lot of these lately.

You know, despite everything that’s happened. I bet you’ve never experienced a bad night’s sleep a day in your life. But… you’ve always been that way, haven’t you? Even when we’ve had to sleep outside on the ground like this.

You’re fierce and you’re determined and you protect the people that you love and you love the people you should hate. I suppose there’s nothing to keep you awake. You’ve always had this innate ability to just know that everything’s going to turn out alright. You just…

*Sasuke chuckles softly at what he’s about to say*

Believe it… You always have and you make others believe with you. Or you beat them down until they do.

I, on the other hand, am riddled with regret… and… if I’m being completely honest. Fear.

My past haunts me to no end and I fear I may have ruined the future. I’m terrified of losing the people I love. I’m terrified that, no matter how powerful I may have become, that I’ll never be able to protect them. But the thing I’m most afraid of… is me. I’ve spent most of my life alone and I’m still terrified of making the wrong choices. I’m afraid that I’ve ruined any chance at any kind of relationship with my daughter. I still struggle to even think of myself as a father. Because I haven’t been.

I’m glad she has you, Naruto. I’m glad they all do.

I’m no longer… angry… all the time. And I’m still learning how to express any other emotion. I feel them… I just *sigh* I don’t know how to shut off my indifference. I’m not indifferent. I care. Deeply. Maybe too deeply…

I suppose I’m much like Kakashi in that respect. But maybe he’s braver than I am. Maybe I’m just such a coward that I won’t ever be able to truly let go of that darkness. It’s like a comforting blanket that I can never let go of, even though it’s cold and it's wet, I still cling to it. How did he let go of all of that? How did you? And what’s so wrong with me that I can’t? Especially with all of the good things I have in my life. I’m surrounded by beauty. So why am I still like this?...

All those times you came after me and I just ran away... I don’t know if I would’ve ever done that for you had our roles been reversed. I’m not sure I’d do it now… I’d want to. But something dark would stop me. It would tell me to give you your space. It would tell me to let you have your revenge. Let you be angry. Let your hatred consume you so that you can be stronger for it. I would want to help you, but I don’t have the light for that. I’ll never be like you. But you make me want to try.

I’m sorry for fighting with you. That time on the roof… I was such a petulant little brat. Throwing a tantrum, because I’d always thought of myself as some kind of prodigy, I put myself so high above you, but I wasn’t and it drove me crazy. I don’t know why I did. And it’s not true that I only spared your life on a whim. I was just trying to sound detached and… well, maybe a little cool. I never wanted to kill you. I never even wanted to hurt you. I just knew that you wouldn’t let me go if I didn’t. One of us was going to end up in the hospital after that fight. I couldn’t let it be me… And then that fight after the war. *soft chuckle* We were both a bit foolish that day. But you know, you already had my respect. I just… I wanted to make sure that I had yours too. I wanted you to see that my time away from the village wasn’t a complete waste.

Though, looking back now… of course… I no longer believe that. I should’ve let love guide and motivate me.

Not hatred.

You were the first light in my life. Even though I kept trying to shut you off. I tried so hard to blow your flame out, but you’d just light it again. And then you’d make it bigger. And everytime I’d get more and more angry, furious. You’d match my darkness with your light until finally… I couldn’t extinguish your fire. Everything suddenly stopped feeling so cold and empty. It was like… I looked up one day and finally saw how full my heart was and the warmth just… washed over me.

You pulled me from my darkness even when I didn’t want you to. I’m not sure where I’d be if you hadn’t. Probably trying to burn the world to the ground.

I would love to just put my past behind me entirely and be the person I want to be. Not just for me, but for Sakura and Sarada. Even for you and Kakashi. Say thank you. Say I’m sorry.

Say… I love you…

I can’t be too sure, it’s all still so unfamiliar and new to me, but I’d like to think that I am motivated by love and light now.

And… well… I know you’re asleep, but I guess all I mean to say is. Thanks.

Loser… (said affectionately)

[choochooboss]

We‘re not even halfway through this comic but I love the atmosphere in it! Getting only brief glimpses at Emmet helps to keep up the suspense of how he’s dealing with being on his own for the first time and how there is an empty space next to him in all the pages so far. Your decision to cut out the exchange between Emmet and the shopkeeper further emphasizes that. Also every page that shows a bit of Emmets face so far it has been mostly in the shadows too. As if the warmth and coziness around him doesn’t seem to reach him…

I am someone that is spending the holidays without their family for a decade now. (I have since moved on from this. There isn’t any real bitterness here so I’m fine and started spending the holidays as happy as possible with likeminded people who don’t have the means to celebrate so we’re celebrating together, sorry for that brief rambling about myself)

What I‘m trying to say is that I totally relate to this comic so far. It’s always a confusing time when the holidays rolls around and you feel as if the joy surrounding you doesn’t really reach you. Again keeping Emmet mostly in the shadows and not showing his face much further shows that as well. I don’t know what the next parts will bring but I’m loving it so far and as someone who can kinda relate to it all its sad to see Emmet on his own and I hope the comic is going to get an outcome that won’t be too sad and lonely…

Either way once again I am so impressed by your work and the attention to detail you put into your work! Thank you for the update and keep up the good work! (But try not to overdo it, take breaks and stay hydrated and remember to stretch enough!)

HNNNGHHH you put these things into words PERFECTLY I am kicking my feet in excitement-!!

Also very sweet of you to share your personal story (and care for my wellbeing, thank you!!). The idea of being able to spend the holidays in a maybe less traditional way, yet still perfectly capturing the meaning of it, is something incredible. So glad you guys have each other and make the effort so you can spend a lovely time!!

Just, wow!! I can feel how you may relate to this series and what Emmet is going through here in your own unique way. I won’t spoil how things will go in this story, but I truly wish our precious twin brothers to have a happy ending!! In any case I hope keep delivering a touching experience!

Thank you so much for your kind words and amazing analysis!! A great pleasure to hear how much thought you’ve also put into these!!

[rosewoodcafe]

this is just a small thing I wrote a few days back, intending to post it

happy late birthday to me! sad writing lol

I love you guys 🫂🥹

The day I was born is a day I cannot remember. Moments shared by those who were there have filled the gaps of the memories I once had. The recallings of happiness, pain, and relief as my small cries filled the hospital room. Though it is a day I cannot remember, it is a day I will never forget.

The day I turned five I ran into a wooden beam, knocking my first tooth loose. I cried harder than I ever had, the worst pain I had ever felt. My mom held me tight and promised that this was good, that this meant I was growing up. In all reality I had no clue what it meant, only that now I had a gap in my teeth and my friend at school thought I looked like an adventurer because of it.

The day I turned eleven I received my very first phone, nothing flashy, but enough that I could call my parents as I walked home from middle school. The first sense of freedom I had ever tasted was walking under the hot summer sun to and from school, but my god did it feel amazing. My parents trust me to walk (only a half mile) to and from school, all by myself! I was starting to grow up, do things on my own, I didn’t need help from my family all the time.

The day I turned thirteen I felt true heartbreak for the first time. I had a hard time making friends in middle school, hard enough that I had only really become acquainted with anyone I had met, not truly forming any attachments. The two friends I had since childhood had long since moved away, leaving me completely alone on the one day I wanted them around most. The anger I held at myself for being unable to open up to these people I was around everyday, I was hopeless. So the night of my thirteenth birthday, I curled into bed and cried, feeling the most empty and hollow I ever have. 

The day I turned fifteen I felt dead. The hollow feeling had gotten worse with time, and the people I was surrounded by hadn’t noticed. I felt as if my life was drifting away from underneath me, the happy girl I had been now only feeling like a faint memory, the controlling fingers of a “love” wrapped dangerously around my throat threatening to snuff out any life I had left. I wanted to be alive. I wanted to fight.

The day I turned nineteen was hard. I graduated highschool nearly a year prior, met the person who would be my partner for the rest of my life, moved out, started a new job, and lost nearly every person I had called my friend from highschool. I was just as alone as I was when I was thirteen, but now I felt okay. I was okay with being alone, the thought was something I didn’t fight, just embraced that maybe I was a difficult person to love, or maybe the right people hadn’t found me yet. But I was going to be okay.

The day I turned twenty-one, I truly felt the most alive I had ever been. Sitting on my phone, writing about all the turmoil I had been through, the ups and downs, the fears, anxiety, depression, every struggle had finally led to a sense of peace. I lay here with my cats, next to my partner and wonder how I absolutely got this lucky. Making friends in spaces I never thought were possible, and getting to write about things that I never thought I would. Being able to share my excitement over topics that I love and knowing other people absolutely love it as much as I do, I couldn’t have wished for anything more. 

From the absolute bottom of my heart, if you have ever commented, reacted, liked, or just interacted with anything I’ve ever put out onto this platform, thank you. You’ve made me feel like I have a bunch of friends who I can just try and make their day a little better ! So thank you thank you thank you

[xb0rder-7inex]

I just want to address something because it's really irritating me and it's not personal it's just something I have a really low tolerance for right now.

Please do not send me asks that are essentially an invitation to vent to you. I won't talk to you about my situation and this isn't some kind of romanticized relationship. I'm 30 years old. I am a full adult and I am in an abusive relationship. It isn't like I can talk about it and everything is fine. There is a legal barrier here that we are literally going to trial for. This isn't a light problem it's a very private subject and the only reason I post about it is to keep myself accountable for which actions are my own and to pick up on patterns to make note of in the case that I start to feel like I'm being gaslit. It's more to cover my own ass than anything and it also helps me cope (like journalling) when he blocks me.

The harsh reality is that I don't know what lengths he will go to and while I don't believe him to be violent I truly have no idea what he would do to me and sometimes I am really scared of him. But he psychs me out mentally a lot and he is more emotionally and mentally abusive than he is physically abusive. It's all just here for documentation.

My life has literally fallen apart because of him. It is so fucking likely that none of you can relate to losing literally every single thing you had in your life. Your dog, your job, your home, your relationship, all of your friends, your family, your car, and practically a foot as well. When you're supposed to be the fucking victim. To be victim blamed by law enforcement when you're trying to go back because you know how much worse it gets when you try to move on. To be placed in a shelter surrounded by true drug addicts (I'm talking meth, crack, fentanyl, etc) having never gone near any of that shit in your life with all the staff telling you that you don't belong here and not knowing when you'll be able to get out of this unfamiliar territory. Having to rebuild literally your entire life from the ground up. Playing roulette with thousands of other people in the city let alone the province who are just trying to pick up their broken pieces too.

Absolutely nothing anyone says can make that better and I've made peace with where I am. I'm a grown ass woman dealing with some really serious shit that I can't just walk away from. It's an abuse cycle that leaves you walking on eggshells so frequently that it's so much easier to take it than it is to try and leave. There has to be a right time and there has to be a plan. It can take years.

I have a leg up for housing because I'm not an addict and I'm in a DV situation and I qualify for some extra benefits and my main goal right now is to manifest housing. I need to get out of the shelter. I need to get into a space that's my own. Something that is mine. A place that he can't take away from me.

That kind of shit takes time. It takes a lot of resources and it's a lot of waiting. Im in Canada so it may be a little different everywhere but I encourage you to look at statistics and maybe something will make sense to you about why you can't just leave a toxic relationship, and why it's triggering to victims to tell them they deserve better and to leave.

[lowimpactlady]

🍃"Don't let your disability define you."

Hello, my name is Edith, and this is my new blog. I'd like to preface with what has led me to create this space. I have been physically disabled and chronically ill for nearly a decade of my life. At this time, I still possess the ability to both walk and drive, most of the time. I definitely have my off days where those daily activities of living are difficult or unsafe for me to engage with. However, through the eyes of a more able-bodied person, I may come off as more able-bodied than I actually am because I'm able to mirror some of the activities that they are able to perform. But I'm not. I have often been told over the years to not let my disability define me, primarily by more able-bodied people, as if being disabled and addressing life from a disabled perspective is inherently negative. Which I can understand to a point. The loss of your independence is a scary thought, and for a more able-bodied person, the process is difficult to conceive. When I hear a more able-bodied person discuss their perspectives on disability, it is usually framed as a possibility in some distant future where all growth, curiosity and will just ends because you might not be able to control your bowels anymore. Something along those lines. The reality of a chronic illness truly being chronic, existing for decades, and slowly integrating into your life is terrifying. It's a loss of control that people don't want to deal with, don't want to have to learn to adapt to, and people will try to suppress it so deeply that they will do anything to make disabled people seem more able-bodied to them so that they don't have to face it.

I have done more damage to myself over time, listening to the clichés of able-bodied people, trying to live a life where disability doesn't define me. Here is the truth, and here is my intention in starting this blog. Disability is a defining factor in my life. Living with disabilities and adapting to the world with disabilities takes a grand amount of skill, and in suppressing those skills or painting them in a negative light we are doing a disservice to other's and also ourselves. Allow me to paint an analogy for you. I buy a beautiful house, and over time I run into several issues during my home ownership journey. I talk with other home owners and experts about how to manage these issues. I become a carpenter, I fix my own plumbing, I understand my wiring, and now I have knowledge that I can pass onto other home owners. I tell you that I am a carpenter, you respect that I am carpenter. You never tell me to not define myself as a carpenter. I understand that there are differences here, but hear me out. I am an expert at being disabled. I understand how to navigate and file paperwork that would have people ripping their hair out in frustration. I know of services, or how to find services when people feel like they need help. I have knowledge about all sorts of different devices and aids that help make activities of daily living easier. I know how to get a doctor to stop bullshitting you, or at least how to fire them and hire a new one. I know how to find, request, and set up appointments with specialists I need which is difficult for a lot of people to do in the first place. There's a lot of things that I don't know, but my doctors almost always look shocked when they get into health conversations with me because they don't expect me to understand a lot of what they are saying, and I do. My life as a disabled person has been made easier by other disabled people who talk to me about disability with the same relaxed nature in which people would discuss the weather. They are experts in the field of living in a home that require attentive upkeep, and I respect them for their knowledge and those skills that they possess.

With this blog, I hope to redefine what being "defined by disability" means, because able-bodied people have taken that line and surrounded it with so much negative connotation that it can evoke guilt and shame around simply admitting that you have limitations, or feel sad about it. It doesn't have to. Being disabled means that you possess skills in living and surviving that other people don't. It means that you are probably a MacGyver. You know how to do things a different way to make them possible, you know how to eat a different way, you know how to experience things a different way. You experience life from a perspective that a lot of other people are afraid of experiencing, and are able to find happiness, love, and pleasure from a place that people on the outside looking in might consider a dead end. This is my journey to discovering and loving that about myself. It's never ending. Here, I will share my low impact adventures, my low impact hikes, low impact recipes for when you're feeling low energy, low impact exercises, helpful tips, tricks and devices I have discovered along the way. This is just the beginning and I hope that over time I am able to create resources, and help other people out there who need help navigating life this way. I am the Low Impact Lady. Welcome to my blog.

[marengogo]

hi!!

i have some questions regarding the cake issue, i'd ask chikooritajjk, but i'm honestly terrified of them 😞

did the other members get a cake for a pre release track?

ik jin got one for 'astronaut' and jk got one for both 'dreamers' + 'seven', but those are both singles...

so imo it's a little weird that the company would get tae a cake for a 'love me again' and 'rainy days' and not just wait for his album

also i saw them talking about wasting cake, but isn't there a thing where they can have the bakery frost styrofoam so it'll look like a cake? plus the members are given cakes on their birthday and sometimes they don't eat them...

don't want to cause issues btw! if jimin really didn't want a cake, i'm fine with it bc that's his choice, i'm just confused about some things

if you don't feel like answering, you don't have to!

ik you (and other bloggers) are not chikooritajjk's mail box and if i was able to come off anon without causing myself a anxiety attack 🙃, i would definitely just ask them directly! but i also like your thoughts and opinions as well on bts and jikook related things 😊

sorry for bothering you 💜

so i see my ask was taken the wrong way 😞 just want to clear up a few things i don't hate chikooritajjk, i honestly think they're lovely and are very helpful with explaining things (streaming, bts, jikook, queer topics ect), so it does make me sad that it came across that way i'm scared of them bc i have social anxiety and really want to talk to them about things they discuss (i know, it's a me problem, got that 🫡) and trust me, it took a lot to even send that ask bc ik people don't always like answering asks concerning other bloggers wasn't trying to sabotage your friendship with them either, i follow both your blogs and love BOTH OF YOUR POSTS i sent the cake ask bc i'm genuinely confused and had some questions, and like i said ik it was more so an ask for chikooritajjk, but you have been interacting their posts and agreeing with them and i also wanted to hear YOUR OWN thoughts on it i don't mind being corrected or told i'm wrong btw, as long as someone isn't rude or disrespectful (which neither you or chikooritajjk have been btw!!) i do fear that this interaction has only reinforced my issues with interacting off anon with jkkrs though, after this i'll leave you both alone (won't send anymore asks), as that is probably you want so sorry for bothering you both, i truly did not mean to cause any discomfort or issues with my ask and probably this one.... hope you both are doing well and can't wait for more of your insightful posts! — a lost anon

Hello 🎂-Anon,

Hope you don’t mind me calling you like this, if you do please let me know.

I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out the best way to tackle your Ask as I think I’ve kinda already addressed your second ask in my post this morning. See, the thing is, whoever “baked” this particular conspiracy was so successful that many are now really so convinced that the absence of said eggs, flour & milk are actually a substantial part of a lot of the evil surrounding JM. 

But let me start with the easy part of the Ask. “did the other members get a cake for a pre release track?” Namjoon didn’t get a single slice of cake from Hybe, be it pre-release or release don't worry about what the tweet says, just want you to check out the type of cakes Joonie received, if you are interested!:

Two of the cakes were given to him by separate groups of his own friends and one was sent to him by the production team of “The Dictionary of Useless Human Knowledge”.

Now, to get back to the “source of evil” topic, it is very much an issue with the way that Chapter 2 is unfolding. It’s not about eggs, flour & milk, but about the people who found a way to make you believe that eggs, flour & milk are part of the problem. It’s about not being aware of what kind of space your SM environment might have turned into, such as not knowing that Namjoon also didn’t receive a cake, because the same people who are guiding your perception are also, shaping your environment and trying to create narratives that heavily aid in hindering the gravity of real issues that the boys might be facing.

So please, if you can, forget about the cake 🎂-Anon! It’s not about wastage or the performative act, or whatever. Did JM want cake from HYBE specifically? Unless he tells us, we can’t know, I mean if you ask me, he seems to have planned his FACE WEVERSE live to a T, I really don’t think he wanted any. Anyways, what we do now know though, thanks to Tae, is that there is a high possibility he might have not wanted it. Same as Joon.

The mishandling of Chapter 2 is so Ugh! Quite literally it is as if Pandora’s Box was opened and all sorts of shit just came rushing out 😩😩😩. BUT I will address all of these in the post I mentioned that I am working on, so for now, If I could please ask you to take a second and think about the boys real quick. MEGA-Celebrities who have been in the game for 10 years (without counting pre-debut) and not only that, they are part of the biggest group on this planet, they are BIG-big, with big money, and big problems … do you see them losing sleep over eggs, flour & milk? 

Should we be? 

Hope this answers your question and I really do hope you’ll be looking forward to my post, cause, ONCE AGAIN, I REALLY CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH: There is soooooo much in Chapter 2 that needs to be address for-real-real 🤡. 

Always respectfully yours 💜🫰🏾,

Marengo.

[ficklecat]

OC Interview: Emmanuel Domingo

(dialogue responses to the OC interview prompt)

1. Please state your full name and occupation.

“Emmanuel José Domingo Alvarez, or Manny Domingo for shorter. I’m a physical trainer and a grad student, hoping to become a physical therapist!”

2. Tell us a little bit about yourself.

“I am a proud Guatemalan and first generation American citizen of my family, and first to go to college too, which I am so grateful for. I love the outdoors and playing sports; I’ve been an athlete since I was a little kid, as little as a baby, because my father says I kicked a lot before I was even born!” (laughs) “Let’s see…I have two wonderful partners, Phineas and Violet, who I adore with all my heart, and my dream is to build my own physical therapy practice and help people pursue recovery and healing at any shape, size, or condition!”

3. How would you describe your childhood?

“I think I had a wonderful childhood, despite missing a few things. My father did everything he could to make my life better and easier than his was and he made good on that promise. Growing up without my mother here was hard sometimes, but I was still surrounded with so much love and support, I didn’t want for anything even when my papà didn’t have a lot to give. I could do sports and make friends and I got good grades and made my papà proud, which was enough for me. I am very fortunate.”

4. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

“I wanted to represent Guatemala in the Olympics! I still think I could honestly, but that would mean a lot of work to change my current path, and I’m quite happy with where I am now!”

5. Do you have any role models? Tell us a little bit about them.

“Ah, so many! My papà, of course, he is my hero. A few athletes, notably Erick Borrondo, who was the first and only Guatemalan Olympic medalist. Serena Williams, but also Alok Vaid-Menon and Blair Imani. I look up to the people who I feel embody the spirit of being authentically who they are and fighting to reach their potential, or helping others to do the same.”

6. Are you introverted or extroverted? Why?

“Absolutely extroverted. I can’t help it. I love learning about people and meeting new friends. Phineas jokes that I’ve never met a stranger, and that’s true!” (laughs)

7. How would you describe yourself in three words?

“Passionate. Loving. Determined!!”

8. What do you like to do for fun?

“I love it when the three of us go hiking or to the beach together. Or cooking dinner with Violeta. She is a wonderful baker! I enjoy testing recipes with her. If I’m by myself I mostly enjoy going for a run out in nature, or watching anime. I can binge a whole series in a weekend if I’m not careful!”

9. What's your greatest achievement? Why do you consider this your greatest achievement?

This was answered in an ask, check the tag to find it!

10. What's your biggest goal? How do you hope to achieve this?

“I want to be able to help people achieve the best versions of themselves. I don’t know if that can count as a goal so much as an aspiration but it is something I think I’ll never achieve only once, but rather will always work towards. I get a lot of fulfilment and energy from helping others, it enriches me and makes me feel purposeful. I think because of this I will never truly be done working towards this goal because I know in my heart I’ll always be looking for ways I can help, moving from one to the next. It’s a good thing for me though, it makes me excited about the future.”

11. What does your dream room/house look like? Would you mind showing some inspiration pictures?

“Honestly I’d love to live in my childhood home! My father and I have been fixing it up, he’s been remodelling a few of the rooms and I help him some weekends. We have so much tied to that place, it’s a very special and comforting space. It has high ceilings and lots of natural light in the front room, a gorgeous sunroom where papà keeps some of his herb garden, and the kitchen is coming along with new cabinets and countertops. Little by little! If not that exact home I’d love something like it - warm and inviting and bright, with space for me and my loved ones to enjoy each other’s company.”

12. How would you describe your style?

“Athletic and comfortable. I am usually at the gym working with my clients so I am always dressed for that. Which I don’t mind, I feel stuffy in other clothes sometimes. If I’m not wearing gym clothes I’ll at least like to wear some decent shoes, and I always bring a hoodie or jacket wherever I go. I like being prepared.”

13. What's your favorite song?

“Ahhh I love music, this is a hard question! My go to answer for this question is usually What I Got by Sublime, but there are so so many more - Sweet Honey by Slightly Stoopid, Longview and When I Come Around by Green Day are also favourites —ah! Too many to name!”

14. Where are you happiest?

“Outside! Even on bad weather days I love being in nature. I often like to go on walks or lay in the sun on my patio or in the grass on the campus green. No matter what mood I’m in nature can always manage to bring me back in some way. It’s as close to a cure-all as I can get.”

15. Who is the most important person in your life? Why?

“It’s impossible for me to pick just one person, I love too many to say one is more important than the other.”

16. Do you believe in soulmates? Why or why not?

“I believe with all my heart that Phineas and Violet are my soul mates. I also believe my father and mother are soulmates. But I believe soulmates aren’t just lovers, you know? They’re friends. They’re mentors. They’re whoever makes you feel like your life is worth living. Maybe that’s not a soulmate to some people but it is to me.”

17. Have you ever been in love?

“I am so in love! I have been in love since I was very young. I continue to love just the same, even more now I think, because I know what it means to feel it.”

18. Have you ever been kissed?

“Oh most certainly. I don’t think I’ve gone a single day in recent memory where I haven’t been kissed. I’m so lucky for that.”

19. Describe an average day in your life.

“I like to get up early and start the day with black coffee at the window. It’s a good time to get myself some alone time and prepare for my day because no one is awake yet usually. After coffee I’ll have breakfast and then get ready for the day. I try to keep all my classes in the morning so that I can train my clients in the afternoons and evenings, so I work out after lunch before training, or if I have time I’ll try to get a workout in after breakfast and before classes. I try to keep busy so I tend to book clients until late, and typically I’ll be finished with my day around six or seven. Dinner with my loves is usually after that, and then I’ll do homework or study or spend time with them after that!”

20. Describe your nighttime routine.

“I try to walk every night for a little bit, which usually means I get to walk with Phineas and his dogs most evenings. Or if he isn’t up for it I’ll take them myself. I like doing that, they’re sweet and it makes me feel helpful. After that I’ll enjoy whatever Violet and Phineas have planned - for them, it’s usually movies or shows, and we like to take turns picking what to watch together. Sometimes we’ll play a game or I’ll play cards with Violet while Phineas reads, but my nights typically end with the two of them no matter what. After all that, I’ll shower and get in bed - Violet sleeps in and Phineas is an insomniac, so I’m usually the first to sleep, but they still like to cuddle up with me even if they don’t sleep right away, which is so very lovely.”

21. (Make up a question) Tell us a “low-stakes” unpopular opinion you have.

“Oye this might talk me out of a job but - exercise is free! You don’t have to buy anything, you can just move! The myth that there’s a right way or proper way to exercise is silly to me - go walk, jump up and down, dance in your living room! Exercise is free and it can be anything you want it to be! I dislike the narrative society has created that tricks people into feeling like movement needs to be competitive or prescribed or on a membership basis. You can do whatever you want, you can move however you want - my father used to chop wood in the back yard to work out, we didn’t have a fire place! There are less rules than you think, have fun!”

[buyams]

hi, kakak domie! i sincerely hope you’re doing fine wherever you are. mm, i wonder if you did read my last apology, and i’m terribly sorry for, once more, running away. i wasn’t in the right head space, yet i never wanted to be reasoned, and i acknowledge what i did. every little thing of it was immature, thoughtless, and possibly hurtful to you. and i’m sorry, again, that you have to receive this message through my closest one whom i dearly love and cherish. kakak domie, i.. didn’t plan to ask you for any forgiveness. knowing what i’ve done to you should never be forgiven, and i was so wrong for acting the way i did and said back then. i can’t rewind the time, and i can’t take back my words nor redo my actions, but not even a single day i’ve been through and not feeling the guilt that’s consuming me within. you were so kind, you always have. and i took your kindness for granted, and that was so unforgivable in many ways, and i know that there’s nothing in this world will be able to fix that but i truly regret every single thing i thoughtlessly did. you were one of my most cherished souls, a friend, one of the best ones that i tragically lost because of my own selfishness and wrongdoings. i’m sorry, i’m sorry for all the pain and hardships i put you through. you were so undeserving of those things, really. i hope kakak domie is healthy, i hope kakak domie is surrounded by good things, i hope kakak domie won’t skip any meals, and i hope buyam, gecko and everyone who is dear to kakak domie will always make your heart whole and warm. i’m sorry for being such a coward and can’t face kakak domie by myself. i can’t afford the courage to face you on my own, but i hope my sincere heart reaches you one way or another. live a happy life, kakak domie! dd will always cherish you and think of you dearly for the rest of my life.

sincerely, Lucian.

[tarrotcake3]

11/22/2024

I didn't write about my reading last week. but I did pull some cards. I think the gist of it was to learn to accept my flaws. There's a lot of things that I don't know and I might be wrong about a lot, but I can still be confident in myself and in the things that I do. I am on the right track.

My cards today are..

The Six of Cups, reversed

The Six of Swords

The Nine of Wands

and The Eight of Swords

The Six of Cups

This card is about childhood nostalgia and innocence. This card reversed for me most likely has to do with letting go of the past. I've spent too much time dwelling on the problems of the past. They always come up when I talk with my sisters. Recently I have even talked about my past with people I don't normally talk to. And I also reached out to old friends on social media. I do need to let go of the past. I don't think I'm ever truly alone until I remove the spaces in my mind that holds the people from my past. I miss them all a lot, but they are gone and they will not be apart of my future. Even the people who are still in my life are not the same as they were. I wish things had been different, but I have to live in the present.

I felt like listening to The Light Behind Your Eyes by My Chemical Romance. I cried.

The Six of Swords

I like this card. It's about moving on and accepting change. My card shows a woman in a boat on a calm lake, with swords floating around her pointed down. When swords are pointed down in the tarot, it can represent lies and deceit. When the waters are calm you are able to see those lies better and maneuver around them. I have worked hard to calm my emotions recently, and I am able to see the lies that I was believing about my self and others. Things are more clear to me now than ever before. My book (Every Little Thing You Do is Magic) says that pain is apart of life, so it's okay to take the easy road when you can. A lot of my limiting beliefs have come from this idea that I need to do things the hard way in order to prove myself to others. But I don't need to get worked up over things that don't serve me.

The Nine of Swords

This card represents burnout, being guarded or wounded. Recently I have repeated this thought in my mind that I am the last line of defense for my family. They're all going down a dangerous path (or completely jumped off the deep end). The reason I have improved is because I have put so much energy into trying to help them, and I guess I learned some things in the process. While I am slowly losing hope for my sisters, I still have hope for my nieces and nephews. If I want to help break the cycle of trauma in my family, those kids are probably going to be the ones to do it. I really want to fight for them, and protect them.

The Eight of Swords

This card is about being paralyzed by fear and self imposed restrictions. This card scared me in my first reading. It made me feel like I was completely alone, and always will be alone. It still makes me feel that way. But the picture shows a woman who is blindfolded and surrounded by downward facing swords. The woman is trapped by her own limiting beliefs. This idea that I am alone is not true. Yes, I don't have friends right now and the only people I am close to are unhealthy and problematic. However, I know that my family still loves me, and my coworkers respect me. Even if the people in my life don't truly know me, even if they don't really like me. I occupy a space in their mind and in their lives. The things I say and do effect the people around me. I am not alone.

I guess I'm in my Elsa era. I'm storming off into the mountains, building myself a castle, and letting it go. I remember that I thought Elsa was an awful character when I watched Frozen. I just saw that she hurt the people she loved and was supposed to protect. But Elsa's actions encouraged Ana to grow up, and revealed the bad intentions of the villains. I think it's okay for me to be a little bit selfish right now. I might not like everything that I have to do to help myself (it will hut my sisters), but I am tired of living by other peoples standards.

My confirmation card is..

Death

This is a card about the inevitability of change and transformation. I used to fantasize about my death and how I wanted to leave everyone behind. But I never leally wanted to die. I think I just wanted to be seen. I wanted to be my own person. But I don't have to die to be seen, I only have to change. Letting go of the people in my past and all of the limiting beliefs that were holding me back, is a type of death. I have been defined by my family and my fears my whole life. They will not define me anymore.

The Three of Swords just fell out, which is about heartbreak over the loss of a loved one.. (foreshadowing haha)

[themakingofzizz]

Last Writing initiative

1. What have you learned about yourself doing this self-directed assignment?

Throughout this project, I’ve learned that I really enjoy being creative and experimenting with new ideas. I found that I love trying different things and working in ways that let me explore a variety of styles and mediums. GD4 was such a great environment for that, and it showed me how important it is to be surrounded by creative energy. I also realized that I have pretty high standards for myself, which can be a good thing but also a challenge. This experience helped me understand that I need to keep putting myself in creative spaces to stay inspired and motivated.

2. What did you find to be the most difficult aspect of your chosen assignment?

The hardest part for me was definitely the craft itself. A lot of my projects took a lot of time and also cost more than I expected. There were several points where I hit roadblocks or had to start over, and that could get frustrating. Some days I felt stuck and wasn’t sure how to move forward. But the weekly meetings and group discussions helped a lot. Talking things through with others gave me a lot of clarity and reassurance.

3. What did you enjoy about this opportunity?

I really enjoyed watching other people work through their creative processes. It was so interesting to see how everyone thought differently and came up with ideas I never would have imagined. I truly enjoyed seeing everyone's projects on the last class. Being able to discuss our projects and share feedback made everything feel more collaborative and supportive. I felt like I was constantly learning, not just from what I was doing, but from what others were making too.

4. How would you rate your performance over the course of the semester?

I feel like I did well this semester. I gave each assignment my full effort and tried to make the most of the time I had. I’m especially proud of myself for working with new materials and trying out ideas that were outside of my usual comfort zone. A big part of what helped me succeed was the encouragement from the people around me. Their support and energy made a big difference and helped me feel good about what I was creating.

5. Hindsight is 20/20. What would you do differently, now that you've had this opportunity to work this way?

If I could do anything differently, I think I would have made one of my projects more personal. After seeing everyone else’s work, I noticed that the pieces that stood out to me most were the ones that had a strong connection to the artist. You could feel how meaningful and special those projects were, and I think that added a really powerful layer to the work. Looking back, I wish I had brought more of that personal element into at least one of my own pieces.

[zethings]

Imogen, Obviously - By Becky Albertalli

I have decided to write a review of my most recent lesbian read- so here I go!

I am a sucker for a good YA romance, but more importantly a LESBIAN YA romance. You could not catch me dead holding a straight romance book in my hands.

Firsts things first, ratings!

Book: 5/5 ⭐️

BIPOC Rep: 5/5 ⭐️

Lesbian Rep: 4.5/5 ⭐️

Girl who Thinks She's Straight but is Actually Bi Rep: 5/5 ⭐️

The true and utter representation i felt through this book was immaculate to say the least, I felt that each character was so well thought out and designed to represent a different perspective in the queer world. Ultimately my favourite character ended up being our main girl Imogen, as what she goes through in the book is something that so many queer people can relate to surrounding the pressures of being 'queer enough' and finding their safe spaces.

I feel that as someone who was able to come out at a young age, and be in a loving and supporting family, I was able to relate to Imogen's sister. This helped me to further relate myself into the book, making me literally engulf my whole life in the novel until I finished it.

I feel as though this is one of those books you pick up, get into, and then finish in quick succession; which is the exact type of book I enjoy. If you are looking for something that will have you wanting to punch some people in the face, give someone a big hug, and cry your heart out a little- then I guess I have the perfect book for you!

Finally, I would like to tell my own personal story whilst reading this book, that made me appreciate the book even a little bit more.

For a portion of me reading this book, I was on a ferry, and whilst I wont go in to what happened, I was crying on the top deck of the ferry when I saw a lesbian couple happily taking photos and embracing in the open. Whilst this may not be related to the book at all, it adds now, for me, a stronger connection to the novel.

The second thing that happened whilst reading this book is that whilst I was on a seven hour plane flight I ended up sat next to- once again, a lesbian couple. I truly believe that this book just brought all of the lesbians in my direction and decided to have them sat next to me in those troubling moments.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this review, I don't really even do these, so feel free to give me some feedback on how I could improve them if I decide to do any more!

(PS: I do not know how to make images smaller on tumblr, vv sorry)