#and also had a very codependent relationship with someone who so happens to be a chaos god in some form or another

[s1x-foot-deep]

do u see the vision. are you picking up what im putting down here

[tsukimefuku]

blunt trauma ♰ nanami kento

summary: your mission is to execute a curse user. the issue? said curse user is nanami kento, your former high school classmate and the man who you still secretly love.

tags and cw: dark content, no use of y/n, sorcerer!f!reader, villain!nanami, +18, explicit smut (mostly rough with tender moments hate/love sex), unprotected sex (wrap it, ppl), masturbation, oral (f receiving), pv, from enemies to enemies who fucked 👍, drama and angst (i’m a latina who grew up watching telenovelas), mentions of death, canon-typical violence, ptsd, cursing, hurt/no comfort, this man is saltier than the sea and turned it into everybody else's problem. 

wc: 7.5k

notes etc.: somehow it became a character study. this is my rendition of what i think gege would make nanami to be like if they followed their original plan and had nanami be a villain. inspo list is so huge i had to make a playlist, i got carried away.

writing/reading soundtrack: playlist link ; main songs → way down we go (kaleo) and daylight (david kushner).

disclaimer: i do not in any way approve of (or encourage) the relationship depicted here. it is toxic and bad for all parties involved. this is fictional and should stay that way.

oh, father, tell me ♰ do we get what we deserve?

It felt like the air had been beaten out of your lungs by the very one and only blunt blade you ever knew when you heard the news from Gojo.

Of course the first thing he did when he finished wrapping things up was calling you. If roles were reversed, and this had been Geto, he wouldn't expect any less from you.

During the School's Exchange Event, Jujutsu High was attacked by multiple high grade curses and curse users.

One of them was your former best friend from high school, Nanami Kento. 

"Are you certain it was him?"

"Absolutely," Gojo replied on the other side of the line, "there were traces of cursed energy from his cursed technique. He was also spotted by one of MeiMei's ravens."

"And how many students did he…"

"Two students from Kyoto."

Your head instantly felt dizzy.

"He also killed around a dozen assistants and people securing cursed objects underground."

"Shit… shit," you muttered, forgetting for a few seconds what words were and how to form a coherent sentence. Following suit, your stomach dropped with a sinking ache the moment you made the obvious realization, uttering the most painful thing you had to say in your life — even worse than he's gone, so many years before.

 "This will earn him a death sentence, won't it?"

Gojo was silent for a few moments.

"Hey…"

"Tell me. I can take it."

After a bated breath — from your end, mostly — he confirmed your worst fears.

"Yes. It will."

Ever since Geto's and Nanami's defection, you and Gojo had a special type of shared sorrow over each other's failures to save the people you both loved the most. Call it trauma bonding or codependency, but you developed an unwavering sense of loyalty towards one another.

For that reason, he already knew what you were about to ask him, and you only would because you knew he wouldn't find it in himself to refuse it.

"When it happens, please, have me be appointed as the executioner."

"Of course."

Sitting with a glass of whiskey while gazing out of the window in an understated house just by the outskirts of Sendai, Nanami couldn't say he was fulfilled, unable to grasp the concept of feeling in any way elated ever since his teenage years. However, he was definitely satisfied that this plan had worked.

He managed to put a dent into Jujutsu Society, aiding Geto — or, at least, someone that looked like him, not that Nanami truly cared about it by this point — in retrieving multiple cursed objects that would be used for their inevitable fallout.

There had been a few casualties, though.

Two students and many personnel died — or rather, met their fateful end by the edge of his blunt blade —, but some deaths should be expected if Jujutsu Society was to be brought to the ground, down to its last brick.

Ever since that fateful day when he was nothing but a tall child sitting beside the cold corpse of his best friend, Yu Haibara, Nanami had simmered what would become a cauldron of absolute venom-dripping rage against Jujutsu Society.

To hell with saving other people — what about them? What about the teenager that would never grow to be a sorcerer, who became an inanimate nothing before ever getting the chance of making something out of himself? 

That face… Nanami could never forget it. It haunted his dreams, even a decade later. Such a stark contrast between the light-spirited smiles and this cold, gray monolith that laid in the morgue.

They had no right to rob their students from their youth, much less from their lives, but that's exactly what Jujutsu High did when they didn't even bother to check the mission appropriately before dispatching Haibara and Nanami to a certain death.

Nanami escaped, but just barely, by the skin of his teeth. Haibara, however, wasn't blessed with the same luck, and drew the short straw when his hitched final breaths met their end against Nanami's shoulder. Nanami, who carried his best friend on his back, desperately tried to win a losing race against death. 

Help was late to arrive.

They were too late for Haibara.

And, in a sense, they were too late for him, too.

The worst part, though, was when they were finally being transported all the way back to Jujutsu High. As he glanced over Haibara’s cadaver, now covered by a body bag, one particularly insensitive assistant very rudely stated, “at least there is a body to be buried.”

At least

There is a body 

To be buried

Those words echoed in his head for what felt like eternity. Was that the best they all had to hope for? To at least have remains left behind for the mourning?

In any case, that was why, even though he had to kill, Nanami never mangled any of his human victims — something not easy to do, given how his technique worked and how easy it was to split someone in half.

You had noticed this perverted benevolence while looking over the necropsy reports, a realization that just added insult to injury.

Let there be something for the funeral, I suppose, was what he told himself.

In his own twisted way, Nanami figured this was a kindness very few sorcerers received at their tragic ends, and decided he'd definitely be more compassionate than what Jujutsu High put their sorcerers through. 

In his eyes, those from Jujutsu High who died under his will were the ones granted a truly merciful death.

His peace was disturbed by the sound of the entrance door being brutally kicked in, flying its way across the living room. He pulled his blunt blade from the side of his armchair with his free hand, but quickly put it down when realizing it was you that had just barged inside.

He knew you very well — well enough to be certain you wouldn't come swinging at him immediately.

"I can see you still have a temper. Destroying the door wasn’t necessary, I would've opened it for you," he stated, sipping on his drink.

"I don't care," you retorted, "I guess you already know why I'm here, in any case."

"I do. You're here to carry out my death sentence," he stated, completely unbothered, as if talking about the weather.

As if he was just mundanely stuck in his ways. 

You huffed, placing your hand over your sword's handle.

"Precisely."

"We haven't spoken in a long time, why don't you take a seat?" Nanami inquired, pointing at the armchair right in front of him. "I want to finish my drink."

You glared at the curse user, as he, unfazed, kept gulping on his whiskey. Nanami was wearing a black buttoned shirt, black pants and black oxford shoes, and you couldn't help but see him as a grim reaper — this was a somber look, fitting for the equally somber man who carried it.

For a second, you took in his features — you hadn’t seen Nanami for a few years after the last time you crossed paths.

His shoulders had slightly broadened, and he still bore the same chiseled face, framed by his sand-blond hair neatly slicked back.

Nanami’s eyes traveled over you quickly, apparently doing the very same thing.

Time had left its marks. It was evident you both had grown up — and apart.

You knew this was a shit idea, but entertained it enough that you actually walked towards the chair and sat down. There were definitely things to be talked about, and you just about had a million questions for him.

Most of them, however, boiled down to what you immediately asked.

"Why did you do it?"

Nanami put his glass on the coffee table right in front of you.

"It was a necessary means to an end."

His words came with frost-bitten coldness, his voice embodying the monotone you once loved, but eventually, grew to hate.

You scoffed, incredulous at his reply, involuntarily clenching your fingers around your katana's handle as it laid on your lap.

"Necessary means to an end? Nanami, you killed teenage sorcerers!"

"As I said, and I don't like repeating myself," he interjected, "it was a necessary sacrifice for a greater cause."

"You're such a hypocritical, self-righteous ass!"

Nanami sighed, clearly displeased.

"We have always been able to keep some semblance of respect for each other, despite our… differences. Do not use that foul language with me."

You laughed bitterly, no amusement or fun in your voice as you did.

"Do you think I can still have an ounce of respect for you after what you did? You murdered my people! They were all sorcerers. You killed students, Nanami! Jujutsu High's students! Just like Haibara once was!"

He shot his eyes at you, and the aura of his cursed energy grew sinister at your words. 

"Don't say his name."

Yu Haibara, arguably the glue that kept the trio together. You were hot headed, Nanami was intransigent, and Yu was the conciliatory ray of sunshine that kept you two — but you, particularly — from constant quarreling as classmates nearly every day.

But back then, you'd argue with Nanami with love.

This wasn't the case now.

Not entirely, at least.

"He was my best friend too, the three of us were! Do you really think this is what he would've wanted?!" you questioned him, equal parts hurt and enraged.

"I'm not one to ponder on could've or would've been's. Haibara is gone."

"I'm not a would've been!"

You could still remember it. The day you realized why dealing with Nanami and hearing his sharp comebacks riled you up so intensely. 

You finally understood you were in love with him.

Ever since the first day you met Nanami, you envied the way he'd be able to keep his feelings in check when you constantly felt like falling apart. You felt jealous at how he was considered a greatly competent individual, regarded by all as the best of your class, while you were basically viewed as a ticking bomb nearing explosion. And finally, it made you livid the way how everyone treated him like the informal leader of the trio when the three of you were out on a mission together.

However, those were the same things that got you to admire your friend and, eventually, fall in love for him.

That day, you asked Nanami to meet you outside after class by himself — much to Haibara's dismay —, because you had something to tell him. It was a Tuesday afternoon, and the unforgiving sun of summer was already setting, casting an orange glow through the leaves of the tree you were both under.

After confessing your feelings for him and bracing yourself for being shot down, because why the hell would Nanami Kento, the brilliant, competent, and mature second-year, have any interest in the chaotic, hot headed mess you were, you realized he actually looked surprised. After taking a few moments to collect himself, Nanami told you how he had thought you actually hated him.

At last, somewhat nervous — but definitely intent on not letting it show —, he confided he had affectionate feelings towards you as well.

Your first kiss was awkward, as it would be expected out of two inexperienced people such as you and Nanami were at that age, but it carried the sweet taste of a blue spring marked by teenage years' innocence.

It felt like a promise.

Unfortunately, such promise was unmercifully cut short the very next day, when Nanami and Haibara were dispatched to their life-changing mission.

What an irony it was that, in the end, you were the one to actually mature over Haibara's death, growing up to be an upstanding sorcerer, loved and admired by peers and students alike, and Nanami was the bomb to blow up in everybody's faces.

What a cruel irony.

"I was there too, and I'm still here, having to pick up the pieces of what you deliberately destroyed!" you rasped, angrily.

"You weren't a 'would've been'? Where were you when we needed you? When I needed you?" his voice didn't conceal the tinge of hurt that those questions carried.

What a fucking low blow.

"Nanami, that's not fair. There wasn't anything I could've done in that situation, and you know that!"

You blamed yourself for a while for not going on that mission with them, until you realized that you too would probably have died if you were there. From the three, Nanami was the only one strong and fast enough to pull off an escape like he did.

He diverted his gaze back to the window.

"You were the one to bring up hypothetical scenarios. Let's indulge in them for a minute, shall we?" 

Nanami glanced back at you, and his next words brimmed with bitter resentment, even if his voice sounded more calm and collected than ever.

"You see someone you supposedly love slowly sinking into darkness. What do you do?"

"Don't you dare, you condescending prick! I asked you so many fucking times what was going on. You were the one who shut me out!"

Your voice carried a decade-old pain that resonated from the depths of your soul.

It came from all the times you entered his dorm room with his favorite sandwich after he had cooped up in there for days on end, and he didn't even bother to eat it. Every time you asked him to talk to you, said you were there for him, and was met by a vacant stare.

And, at last, the time when he cruelly blamed you for not being there when Haibara died.

The way he coldly told you about Haibara's last words.

According to Nanami, Haibara said he wanted to speak to you one last time, at least to bid you farewell.

And you weren't there.

Oh, the viciousness with which he blamed you, and decided you owed him something for this perceived failure. 

The next time Nanami talked to you, he asked you to leave Jujutsu High with him, just like Geto did, and swore to destroy them. You tried, pleaded, implored for him to reconsider and stay, but the very following day, you were met by an empty room where the person you once loved used to be. 

That emptiness had, paradoxically, filled you wholly with grief.

Gojo once told you that nobody could save someone who didn't want to be saved.

You still thought you should've tried harder, in a childish attempt at giving yourself an illusory semblance of control over that clusterfuck of a situation.

This is the gap inside our psyche that feeling guilty tries to fill, isn't it?

We can only feel guilty about the things we could've changed, right?

Your voice sounded decades older than yourself, burdening the weight of multiple lifetimes of hurt and grief. Your soul was too old for your own good.

"How can you find it in yourself to blame me for this?! No… This is a prison of your own making. You built the house of cards that is tumbling down on your head as we speak entirely by yourself."

He huffed intensely through his nostrils — Nanami’s version of a snort —, looking the other way before proceeding, each syllable hitting you with the deadly precision of his cursed technique.

"You abandoned us, leaving me and Haibara to fend for ourselves, just like Jujutsu Society did."

By that point, you began yelling, and your voice reverberated all across the room.

"The hell I did!"

You had to take a deep breath before proceeding.

"I just couldn't get behind this dumb idea that we should become curse users and bring down Jujutsu Society."

"Why didn't you come with me?" he finally asked, in an amalgam of pain, sadness, longing, anger, and stinging resentment. "I would have followed you to the deepest recesses of hell if you asked me to."

You huffed, laughing angrily in between your teeth, before thrusting your words like thorns against him.

"Funny you should say that. You'd go anywhere for me? How about staying? Why couldn't you have stayed for me, then?!" 

Perhaps that request was egotistical, but you didn't care. If only for a moment, you wanted to give yourself this small privilege — to want in a world of duty.

"I was the one actually left to fend for myself, right inside the belly of the beast, and you couldn't have cared less."

He stared at you, nothing in his eyes other than the void left behind after his spirit got killed with his best friend so many years ago.

"I didn't stay because… Because," Nanami stated, with a grave finality, "and you're the one who chose to stay. You're still actively choosing to, just like you did back then."

"That's not a good enough answer," you replied with a bad taste in your mouth.

"It's what you've earned," he coldly replied, "but in case you change your mind-"

"Enough," you interrupted him, incredulous that even after everything, this man had the nerve of suggesting you'd ever be interested in running away with him. "It appalls me you would even consider I could… After what you've done? No, never."

Nanami sighed, and for a brief moment, seemed to be actually disappointed under his resigned, polished visage.

"Well, then. Let's get this over with, at once."

In a split second, you pushed your chair on the ground, falling on your shoulders and rolling on your back, dodging his lightning-fast attack. It left a crater behind, right where you were seconds before. Nanami jumped over the fallen armchair, and you dodged him once again, spinning on your heels, unsheathing your sword as you did so, to deal a beheading blow on the back of his neck.

However, right before impact, you faltered, slowing down your movement.

Your own body held you back from taking his life.

He didn't seem to notice.

Nanami bent down just in time to avoid the blow, and swung his blunt blade towards your kneecap. You were quick on your feet, and jumped back, putting a good distance between the both of you.

"I can see you're actually fighting to kill," he noted, getting up on his feet.

"Of course. That's what I came here to do," you spat in his direction.

"You were never the practical one."

You scoffed.

"Guess I learned something from you."

He smiled at the irony of that, but his eyes didn't follow his expression. 

Nanami lunged at you, but while you thought he'd deal his next blow in your direction, he hit your footing, having you fall on the ground. Abruptly, his blunt blade descended in your direction, but you were able to catch it and have it slip to your side using your katana supported by your hand behind it, sending a sharp, loud sound around the vicinity, trembling against the bones and flesh of the house.

You rolled on your side when he struck a new hit in your direction, leaving another gaping hole on the floor, and you jumped yourself up. 

Before you could attack him, however, he took you by surprise, and you lifted your sword to defend yourself. Nanami hit your katana with his blunt blade, breaking it near where the handle and the steel met, launching your body back on the wall.

The impact knocked the air out of your lungs, and you fell to your knees, unable to recover yourself as you got up. Instantly, you heard his quick, steady steps sprinting their way in your direction.

You were cornered.

This is it.

You braced yourself for the impact, closing your eyes. You remembered his technique perfectly.

Precise, just as he was.

Deadly, just as he was, too.

You were to die at the hands of the man you loved, who had become a murderer and only a distorted, broken version of whom you used to truly love.

This seemed like an oddly cruel way to go.

However, the impact never came.

His blunt blade stopped as it was about to hit your stomach, and you opened your eyes, just to see his face mere inches apart from yours. His mountainous form blocked your view from anything else behind him, and Nanami, at that moment, actually looked like the menace he truly was. 

“Why were you appointed as my executioner?” Nanami asked, much to your surprise.

“I asked to be,” you answered, holding his gaze as something went through his eyes. A hint of anger, most likely, and some sense of betrayal, certainly. 

“So, you want to kill someone you once loved? You were always prone to self-penitence, so it stands to reason you’d do something idiotic like that.”

You scoffed, grimacing at him, feeling your entire body incandescent with rage.

“I fucking hate you, Nanami.” 

He inched his face even closer, brushing your noses against one another, eyes stone-cold and hauntingly vacant.

“I hate you as well.”

For a moment, you wondered if he had really stopped his blade before impact. You didn't expect it, but hearing those words felt like you just had been hit, victim of a blunt trauma, at how much they tore you apart. 

The same blunt trauma that severed the Nanami you once knew — the teenager with bangs, who'd always be carrying around a few spare changes to get soda cans from the vending machine for you and Haibara, in his own understated kindness — and this empty monster looking back at you.

"Good. Finish me off, then, and get your revenge for a crime I never committed. Being unfair and an all-around self-centered asshole certainly suits you, fucker."

His hand made its way up your neck, and you were pressed against the wall. The grip was firm, but not enough to choke you — it came more as a warning than anything else.

"I already told you to stop using that foul language with me," he ordered, low voice simmering with genuine irritation.

"Then make me," you challenged him, hoping for this torture to be over as fast as possible.

Just fucking kill me already.

His blunt blade fell with a thud on the floor, and you were confused for a moment, wondering if he really wouldn't give you the kindness of a quick demise. Did he plan on choking you to death?

Did he hate you that much?

His other hand came up, but before you could do anything to try to resist — which would be nothing but a futile attempt at survival, given that Nanami was physically much stronger than you —, his fingers snaked their way through the back of your hair, tugging it at the roots. 

His mouth clashed against yours, all teeth, tongue, anger, and hunger, and instantly every nerve in your body flared up with a raging fiery ember you hadn't felt in years. All the pent-up resentment, hurt, and desire you had for Nanami swirled together in your gut, guiding your hands up his hair, as you also pulled on it intently, robbing him of a gasp.

You intertwined your tongue against his, and he unceremoniously bullied his own inside your mouth, leaving no crevice unexplored, as his hand on your neck descended towards your waist, where he clenched his fingers with a vicious grip. You whimpered against his lips, and he grunted in return, pushing his body on yours. His throbbing growing cock could be felt, even through both of your clothes, as he pressed it right against the edge of your pants.

When you finally parted after what seemed like a not-long-enough eternity, you huffed and panted, and albeit less than you, he was panting too.

"I fucking… hate you…" you gnarled, glaring into his eyes. The hazel-brown gaze you once adored was now clouded and dark, like the muddy waters of a deep lake.

"Shut the fuck up," Nanami groaned back, strongly cupping your cunt with his large hand. You whimpered in surprise, and he pulled you in harshly for another kiss, letting go of your hair and sex to sink his fingers on the backside of your thighs, pulling them. You immediately jumped up and threw your arms around his shoulders, as he manhandled your legs to have them hooked around him.

He quickly took you both inside the room, and tossed you on the bed, having you gasping in surprise. Before you could catch your breath, he climbed his way on top of you, pressing your body down, and clashed his mouth against yours again, making you actually lightheaded from a lack of air.

You pushed against his chest, grunting uneasy, and surprisingly, he parted his lips from yours.

"What?"

You panted heavily, nearly hyperventilating, and mindlessly rested your hand on his cheek.

"C-can't breathe…" was all you mustered up to say, trying to replenish oxygen back into your system.

His eyes softened so discreetly you nearly missed it, and his cold-ivory enclosure slightly cracked under the affectionate touch he didn't expect.

Nanami had no idea how much he had craved it ever since you parted ways, and hated himself, just a little, for how much such an innocuous gesture stirred his old feelings up, throwing his heart against his chest in a fluttering rush.

I should be over her by now, dammit.

Nanami also brought his hand up your face, and ghosted over your cheek for a second before sliding his fingers delicately down over it.

You also weren't prepared for that, and your chest tightened all over your heavy heart as you remembered your first kiss.

The way he'd cup your face in his hands.

 So delicate, so lovely.

This touch, at this very moment, felt like a painful reminder of everything you had lost.

"Kento…" you cooed, voice strained in your throat, with all the things you were sure you'd never say.

He hummed your name in return, and kissed you while sinking your body against the mattress. This kiss was different, as his lips brushed gently over yours, and his tongue tenderly teased over the seam of your mouth. You welcomed him in, and you both explored these deep waters tentatively, as he upped the intensity after each stroke of your tongues against each other.

He tasted like whiskey, and bread, and the tainted love left behind as nothing but a reminiscence of less grueling days. You couldn't help but feel robbed by him.

You both had been missing out on this for all these fucking years.

"Why did you have to go?" you asked, pulling back from him, a tinge of anger to your cadence, and another of pain in your face.

"Why did you have to stay?" he spat back at you, equal parts saddened and resentful.

His mouth made its way to your neck, and you gasped with the sensation of his warm breath mingled with saliva against your skin, as he licked and bit his way around.

You couldn’t find it in yourself to push him away, and your eyes burned with the prickling sensation of tears that wouldn’t come. You were starved for his touch, his smell, his body, even if this was the murderer of your students, of your friends.

In your head, you felt like digging a hole and throwing yourself in it, to wallow in the misery of realizing that you were about to fuck the murderer of people you loved, and that it felt good.

A pool of heat and fire shot down your insides as your heartbeats throbbed in between your legs.

You hated yourself, and on top of it all, hated Nanami. 

Hated that you couldn't help but still love him, even after all he had done.

This was the setting tension in between the both of you, the two extremes of hate and love pulling against each other, all while the tug of war rope refused to snap to either side.

He pulled your shirt over your head, tossing it aside, and you undid his shirt, unzipping his pants. He unzipped you too, and quickly enough, took off your pants along with your panties with a single sharp tug.

Back to rough, but not entirely, it seemed.

His hand glided against your thigh and his fingertips slipped over your entrance, getting completely glazed by your already dripping arousal. He grunted, a guttural and intense sound deep in his chest, giving you another bite on the soft skin of your neck.

"Hate me?" Nanami asked, teasing his digits over your cunt, "doesn't seem like it."

You managed to scoff at him, which would prove to be a mistake.

"Go fuck yours-"

Before you could finish your sentence, he dove two of his fingers inside knuckle-deep, without any hint of a warning, forcefully stretching your walls around them. You immediately let out a whimper so pitiful you wondered if that was really your voice.

He seemed satisfied at that. Perhaps, even elated.

"Good girl," Nanami whispered right beside your ear, nibbling against your earlobe with his teeth, sending shivers down your spine. He began sliding his fingers in and out, and you bucked down against his hand while moaning and mewling, walls sheathing his digits as he finger-fucked your cunt, neglecting your clit as punishment for calling him a condescending prick earlier.

His palm rucked against your dripping folds, echoing wet slaps all throughout the room, as your arousal kept pooling on his palm.

He mumbled softly against your skin, bringing his mouth up to brush against yours, "hate… you still love me."

You instantly drew one of your hands to slap him in the face for this hurtful teasing, but he had quick reflexes — quicker than yours. He dodged himself back as your hand hit the empty sheets, and edged his fingers to hit against your soft spot, pressing it so violently, you let out a strained cry from the shooting overstimulation pain.

"Ah- Shit!" you shouted, face all scrunched up.

"Can't you behave for once?" he chided, "why is it so hard for you to j-just-“ 

Nanami’s breath hitched in his throat as he grunted, unable to finish his sentence.

You shut him up the only way you could think — grabbing his cock harshly over his boxers. It was extremely effective, and he immediately humped his length against your hand, while lowly groaning.

With trembling hands and a violent snap, you haphazardly pulled his boxers down to his mid-thighs, as his fingers kept mercilessly bullying their way inside you, sending vibrating waves all throughout your body with every thrust.

“Stop… telling me… ah-aaah-“ you rolled your eyes back with a loud moan, struggling to keep a train of coherent thought, gnarling your next words,  “what to… ah- do!”

His cock sprang out, slapping against his belly. The tip was already flustered red, leaking with pre-cum, and had a long, prominent vein on the underside.

To punish him back for the roughness, you grabbed his length with one hand, and with the other, pressed the middle of your palm against his flushed tip, glistening his arousal around it with enough force to jump across the divide between intense pleasure and painful overstimulation.

Nanami cursed with a feral voice through his teeth, immediately biting the side muscles of your neck with no semblance of restraint, making sure to leave a purple remnant of pain etched on your skin.

“Ah- ouch! Fuck!” you spat out, tightening your grip around his cock, but weakened enough to release the tight pressure against his tip, letting him fuck into your hand. His hips bucked erratically, and his lips pressed a quick kiss right where he had previously bitten.

He couldn't help it.

Suddenly, Nanami stopped his rutting fingers to press his thumb against your already throbbing clit. That instantly had you seeing stars as you cursed loudly in between moans and grunts, drawing your free hand to his head, ferociously tugging at his hair, as heat pooled in your lower abdomen like fiery embers of coal.

He grabbed your arm, pulling it away from his shaft, and removed his fingers from your walls, having them clenching around nothing at such a sudden emptiness. You began complaining, only to have your voice cut short by his tongue slipping its way inside your mouth, in a sloppy, wet kiss. 

Parting from you, Nanami’s eyes were glassy, and you were absolutely sure your gaze must’ve looked just as hazy as his.

In a brief moment, before you realized it, he slid himself down, and unceremoniously lapped at your already sensitive clit with his warm tongue, hot breath tickling against your sensitive skin.

Both of your hands descended towards his hair, brushing over his golden and now messy locks more tenderly than you expected. Nanami suddenly shivered and moaned into your cunt, edging his tongue down your folds and back, eyes fluttering shut the moment he tasted you entirely.

He felt a tinge of pain clench at his chest, realizing this was the taste he had missed out on for all that time — your taste, which would surely ruin him forever.

Nanami’s pain, however, was quick to turn into outrage, as he began sucking on your clit relentlessly, eliciting the most animalistic sounds you had ever uttered.

You instinctively tried backing away, and he pulled on your thighs, holding them with such a violent force that his hand was sure to leave an engraving of his digits over your plush skin.

Nanami was intent on dragging this orgasm out of you by any means necessary.

You had never given him anything he wanted from you — be it the company to fight against Jujutsu High or the same unwavering loyalty he had for you. So this was something he’d take.

If you wouldn’t be by his side, then the least you could do was to cum for him so fervently, he’d be sure to ruin you just as much as he felt like you had ruined him. You owed him that, or so Nanami thought.

“Aaah-- Kento! S-slow d-… fuck!”

You came with a thunderous shout, jolting your hip forward as your thighs tightened with inhuman strength to the sides of his head. Nanami made sure to deliciously lick your way down from your high, applying such a precise and perfect pressure on your clit that you could’ve wept from sheer satisfaction.

After your legs went limp, he slowly climbed his way back to you, pressing kisses all over your body, leaving a ghost of heat wherever his mouth traveled. When Nanami finally reached your face, he put his forearms against your sides, hands over your shoulders, caging you in, as he pressed his mouth against yours in a slow kiss.

You were floating in a calm sea, salty waves caressing your body every time they passed through, and it felt cozy. Inviting, even. As he parted his lips from yours, Nanami gazed into your eyes in the way he used to.

For a second, you got catapulted into the past, and the orange sun that warmed your cheeks through the leaves as you kissed for the first time seemed to shine its rays over again.

With his arms around you, the nonsensical feeling of being protected washed over your heart.

“Come with me,” he whispered with a sultry, husky voice. 

“Kento…” you cooed, sighing, wanting nothing more than for this moment to extend for infinity.

But it couldn’t.

You didn’t go with him, so many years ago.

And wouldn’t go now, either.

That wasn’t how it worked for the both of you.

Nanami understood it, and what seemed like another crack against his unwavering walls had formed the moment his brows furrowed above his eyes.

“Fine, then,” he said, with a tinge of genuine hurt to his voice.

You parted your thighs to accommodate his hips, and he obliged, guiding his hand down to align his cock against your entrance. You bent and hooked your legs around him, pulling him in, and as the tip of his length got pressed against your dripping cunt, he gasped slightly over your lips.

Nanami sunk in slowly, going through your already relaxed ring. However, it apparently wasn’t relaxed enough, or perhaps he was just too big, because you could feel every inch of stretching his cock made against your walls as he slowly bottomed out inside your cunt.

His mouth fell open and you exhaled a moan into it, breaths mingling together. You two drank each other in. Nanami pressed his forehead against yours, and you both held each other’s gaze, as he pulled your left wrist above your head, holding it there, pushing you down the mattress by your waist with his other hand.

After a moment for you to take him in, Nanami began rolling his hips into you, while his hand kept bruisingly pressing your wrist against the mattress. You could feel his balancing act of trying to love you and wanting to hurt you at the same time.

You weren’t so different from him in that sense, though. Your nails got dragged down his back with abrasive force, and for a second, you considered drawing blood from him. He grunted, and you saw the spark of cold-hearted anger flash through his now dimmed eyes.

You both wanted to love each other just as much as you wanted to hurt each other.

In a more forgiving universe, perhaps, he’d hold your hand tenderly, intertwining his fingers in yours. Maybe you two would be in the kitchen as he showed you one of his favorite bread recipes, and share quiet moments of understanding companionship when remembering those who had left this world too soon.

But this wasn’t that universe, unfortunately.

He was to die, and you were to carry out his execution. 

Except you couldn’t, because even if you still tried to cling on to any sliver of morals, even if his life was something yours alone to take, the mere thought of a world without Nanami was far worse than the reality of a world in which he was a murderer.

You insisted on fighting a losing game, and much to no one’s surprise, you lost. 

Good riddance to me, I suppose.

His grunts came hitched and stuttered against your mouth as he was now rutting himself into you, biting your lower lip hard enough to almost pierce the skin with his teeth. You moaned loudly, dragged around with pain and pleasure, the combo that seemed to summarize the gist of your relationship.

He let go of your wrist and descended his hand without a warning towards your already overworked clit, glazing his thumb against the ring of arousal you were leaving around him before starting to make circles around your nub. Your moans came out cracked and faltering, as you tried to resist the instinctive urge of fleeing that the overstimulation was eliciting.

“Give me… one more,” Nanami groaned lowly against your cheek, planting multiple kisses down the side of your face and your chin. His hair — which had already fallen from its usual slick arrangement — brushed against your fluttering eyelids, momentarily weaving golden sand colors over your your vision, and you drove both your hands to the back of his head, pulling him in for another kiss. 

You could kiss him like this forever. 

You actually wanted to, at that moment.

To his request, you nodded, and this was probably the first time you acquiesced to any request Nanami had ever made to you. 

Fulfilled, his thrusts and his finger over your clit became increasingly erratic, as he was now moaning your name against your mouth. You pushed your tongue over his, sliding your hands up his head to tug at his roots, and that was all it took to tip him over the edge.

Nanami came with a muffled groan, having your tongue still pushed inside his mouth, and kept pumping himself inside you trying to keep the comedown at bay. His thick, white cum got glazed all over inside you, and the slaps of flesh and skin began sounding ever more wet than they already were.

You weren’t so far off, with your walls fluttering around him, and he noticed it, keeping his now trembling thumb pressed and circling intently over your clit. With one perfectly applied nudge on your sensitive bud, Nanami finally pulled you over the edge along with him.

Some tears began pooling on the edges of your lashes, and all your emotions — anger, sadness, grief, longing, and a particular brand of despair you cultivated during the last decade — came crashing down as he wrenched your second orgasm from you.

Your body convulsed under him, fluttering walls expelling his softening cock out, as you shouted and grunted into his mouth. You didn’t know if you were more furious at yourself for still loving him, at him for loving you, or at Jujutsu Society for jumbling you both like pawns to be tossed around until you two were broken beyond repair.

Angry at them for sending the young out to have their spirits crushed too soon. For all the deaths no one got to mourn because there was too much work, too little time, and the wounded were always left behind to fend for themselves.

Just like you were.

And just like Nanami was.

You sat at the edge of the bed while putting your shirt back on, and looked back at Nanami, who had his buttoned shirt open over his chest.

“Are you still resolute on your decision of not coming with me?” Nanami asked, with a tinge of eagerness. Or maybe it was just your imagination.

You pondered for a moment, and knew exactly what the answer to that question was.

“Yes. I’m not coming with you.”

For a second, you caught the faintest glimpse of the person he used to be. Something aching to genuine disappointment.

The longing that flashed through him, unfortunately, was quick to go, as he began buttoning his shirt down, averting his gaze elsewhere.

“Why?”

“Because I’d hate myself for the rest of my life if I did,” you stated, sighing before continuing, “and it’s not because I can’t kill you or because I love you that I don’t despise you. You crossed an uncrossable line.”

He pursed his lips, and almost felt regretful for the path he chose.

Almost, since regret now would come ten years too late.

“You can’t go back. They will know you let me go,” Nanami remarked. Be it from him or from looking around this house, Jujutsu High would surely hold you accountable for this — for willingly letting the curse user and murderer, Nanami Kento, escape their wrath.

“I know that,” you replied, a tad bit more defeated than you expected, “that’s why I’m fleeing to Hokkaido.”

He sighed and looked at you. You held his gaze, feeling a little hint of anxiety at what he seemed to be simmering under the surface.

With a warmer expression — or as warm as he could muster it up to be  —, Nanami spoke again. 

“I truly want you to come with me. You’d be safer. We’d… be by each other’s side.”

For a moment, you faltered, open lips with no sound coming out of them. Blinking yourself back to Earth, you asked, “you mean together?”

Nanami kept silent, but nodded, waiting for your response.

He wasn’t just asking for you to come with him, but to be with him.

You wanted to. You did. Something Nanami never knew was just how much you wanted to follow him when he asked you the same thing, so many years ago.

But even though you wholeheartedly loved him with every minute part of your being, your loyalty lied elsewhere.

Not with him, but with the people he had killed.

Well, at least that was the comfortable lie you were capable of living with.

It would destroy you to realize the loyalty you had for the murderer of the people you loved. 

In the end, even if you weren’t a teenager anymore, you were just as much a hostage to your feelings as you had always been.

The ticking took a long time, but the bomb eventually went off.

With a decade’s old delay.

“I… just can’t. I can’t.”

Nanami reclined himself against the wall over which the bed rested, closing his eyes as he supported the back of his head on it. 

He never told you, but this moment broke his heart all over again.

He felt pathetically small.

Guess we get what we deserve, after all.

“You really do have a taste for penitence,” Nanami noted, his voice barely concealing the bitterness that tainted those words.

You scoffed, getting up on your feet, ready to leave as the first rays of sunshine began bleeding through the thick curtains that covered the bedroom’s window.

“Go to hell.”

He chuckled, a sound you hadn’t heard in a very long time. However, it sounded off-key. Wrong.

Sad.

“We’re already here.” 

At the end of it all, he wasn’t wrong.

You were doomed to always keep leaving each other.

If only the world had been a little kinder.

But kindness, it seemed, wasn’t in the cards for you.

End notes: I’m silently screaming. Oh my, this one took way longer than expected, but I enjoyed the writing process during every step of the way (I mean, if that wasn’t evident already from the fact that I made a playlist for this 😂). I forgot how much I was a sucker for gut wrenching angst. Hope you enjoyed it too! 🦉

-

Tag list: @actuallysaiyan @diogodxlot @jadedjane @redlikerozez @voiceless9000

@marvelousfanfictionbitch @kentocalls @ohhheymessa @magical-girl-b @simp-manhwa

@codenamesongbird

[sunshine-jesse]

Control: The Strange Dynamics of Andy and Leyley or

The Incest End Is Not The Fucking Bad End, Stop Coping

EDIT:

Hey guys! This post is blowing the fuck up, but this was my first essay on this game, and I think I've had many more insightful things to say since then. Here's a link to a masterpost with all of my essays, which I'd definitely suggest reading after this one:

Anyways, without further adieu...

I heard a lot about this game going in. I knew the general story beats and the funny haha incest memes. I knew it was about a toxic codependent relationship where Ashley, the sister, acted like your standard overly-controlling person who used various abuse techniques to keep someone in line. I expected Ashley to be a yandere-type character where she was borderline psychotic, irrational, and had a skewed perception of reality. I expected her to be a crazy bitch, and I love me some crazy bitches.

But then I actually played through the game. ...That is not what I got.

The game advertises Andrew as a doormat extraordinaire who is strung along by his Very Not Good sister and has no agency of his own' that he's just a henpecked abuse victim. But in practice, that doesn't seem to be the case. One of their first exchanges that in the story is when the occultist played his music and Ashley wanted them to check it out. He says 'no', sure, but then he smirks and says 'but I'll come along if you do.'

That is not the dialogue of someone who has no will of their own, that's the dialogue of someone who willingly gives up their own agency.

This is not, on its own, a sign of anything out of the ordinary. What caught my attention with it, though, is how it flew in the face of the common narrative surrounding their relationship dynamic. But that's not the first time I noticed it, it's just the first time, in retrospect, that their actual dynamic begins to show. The first time I personally noticed it is in the choking scene.

There are a lot of ways to view this situation. But my own reading? This was not a crime of passion. This was not him trying to break free. This is him doing something he's thought about for a while. This is premeditated. In this scene, Andrew is done playing along with Ashley's shit. In this scene, I firmly believe Ashley is the victim.

Ashley is the more openly abusive of the two who seeks to do whatever she can to trap Andrew so he'll never leave her. That much is clear. But Andrew-

-clearly has these same tendencies. He says this shortly after Ashley mentions putting her name up on a call girl's wall for money. There's protective brotherly instincts, and then there's this. This is not something you'd threaten a sister with, this is something that a man would threaten his wife with, which is directly brought attention to in the story.

(hey look he accepts the framing of it being WIFE beating at face value, and says Ashley is the only one who makes him like that! HMMMMMMMMMM WONDER WHAT THAT IMPLIES???)

It also implies that this is not the first time physical force has been threatened! I mean, that much is obvious, because of the choking scene that happened before, but I more mean that this implies that Andrew either threatening or utilizing physical force is an established pattern of behavior. However, the Decay route implies that she never thought Andy would kill her (but Andrew would) which can either be for or against depending on one's perspective, so I don't hold to the idea that it's an established pattern too strongly.

Okay, so. Andrew has some controlling and possessive tendencies too. So what? Their relationship is codependent. It's advertised as such. What of it?

Well first of all, it pretty much blows the lid off of the idea that Ashley is the sole perpetrator of abuse in their relationship. I've seen a lot of people view Andrew's behavior as justified retaliation against abuse, but frankly, I don't believe that him threatening to strangle Ashley for violating boundaries by trying to hold him accountable for his actions (given the strangulation part happens after she brought up Nina's death and how Andrew was ultimately responsible) is justified. And I ESPECIALLY don't believe that him threatening to backhand Ashley for her transactional attitude towards sex is justified in ANY circumstance.

EDIT: This part was edited in from the original post for the sake of readability so they don't have to see the reblogs to see the updated version! This post gained more traction than I was expecting!

…But perhaps even more telling is what she DOESN'T do.

Pushing someone's boundaries until they lash out is a pretty common tactic in abusive relationships. It's easy to see why, too: It justifies prior behavior and paints them in a negative light to others. This can be an important aspect of using DARVO (deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender) against someone, although the two ideas aren't necessarily linked.

It's pretty easy to argue that this is what Ashley does, but if you look at the one time her boundary pushing DID go too far, when Andrew lashes out with physical violence… she doesn't do that. She doesn't blame him. She doesn't paint herself as the victim. She doesn't even try to give a reason as to why she shouldn't be killed outside of the comfort she gives him. Why is this notable?

Because the mom does, in fact, engage in what could be considered DARVO against Ashley:

(i will elaborate more on this screenshot in particular below)

Ashley is directly compared to Mrs. Graves by Andrew, and yet she crucially displays none of the habits that Mrs. Graves does. Mrs. Graves lays the blame on Ashley, but Ashley doesn't lay the blame on Andrew. Mrs. Graves tends to paint herself as the victim of Ashley, but Ashley does no such thing to Andrew. The mom denies her culpability at every turn; Ashley doesn't. Ashley tries to hold Andrew accountable for his role in Nina's death, which could be considered a kind of DARVO. But she never denies that she had a role to play in it. She just mentions that he was the one who pulled the trigger. And he was.

(and the point was more that she DIDN'T engage in it when threatened with physical violence; the perfect chance to)

In Mrs. Graves' mind, she is the victim of either Ashley, or society as a whole. In Ashley's mind, she knows what she is, what she does, and what she's about. The only thing she's oblivious to- or doesn't acknowledge, at least- is the threat Andrew poses to her. In her mind, she's the bad guy. In Andrew's mind, Ashley is the bad guy. In official art, she is the bad guy:

And yet, in the game itself, Andrew is the one holding the cleaver. Not her. Hm.

Ashley is the world's most convenient scapegoat. She allows people to mask their own worst habits and pretend they're better people than they are. She accepts this role. She embraces it. She doesn't try to deny it. But when that mask slips, people lash out at her. Both Mrs. Graves and Andy (NOT Andrew, crucially) predicate much of their self-perception on being what she's not.

But they're the ones who enabled her to become like this, every step of the way.

And that's what blew my fucking mind, and made me question just who the victim really is. She was never given a chance to be normal, because other people relied on her NOT being normal.

By the end of my second playthrough, I felt worse for Ashley than I did for Andrew, and I still do.

So. What am I getting at? What does this show me about the relationship between Ashley and Andrew?

(I also wanted to point out that Andrew does engage in DARVO too but I didn't want to distract from the behavior of the mother. Unlike what Andrew does, it doesn't require someone to reassess the narrative they have towards the game in order to realize the implications of it, whereas it's pretty easy to justify Andrew's words as not qualifying as DARVO if you buy into the narrative that he's the sole victim and/or that Ashley is the main perpetrator of abuse. A friend of mine pointed out that it's a pretty key part of the push/pull dynamic they have, and I completely agree.

However, the direct comparisons to the behavior of the mother can't be ignored no matter your narrative, so I felt as if I needed to highlight that more.)

EDIT OVER

It shows me that their relationship is all about control.

Specifically, the push and pull of who controls who in any given situation.

Andrew weaponizes his incompetence. He always looks to lay the blame on Ashley. This is drawn attention to several times, and said explicitly in the Decay route.

He is always surrendering control to her, and yet he never HAS to. He could always just say no. He could always refuse. What are the consequences? Her being upset? Well, unfortunately, it's not that easy. That's not how abuse dynamics work. He probably feels like he has to, or rather, feels like there's no other option. That he's in too deep, and stuck with her no matter what. But personally, I think it's pretty clear from his willingness to surrender control to Ashley that he still feels like he has it at points, because the moment he feels like he's about to lose it, he either considers violence, even as a child-

(the actual scene of slicing her finger is pretty sus too with this reading in mind)

-or resorts to it, outright, in both the choking scene and the vision in the Decay ending... when Ashley doesn't have enough bullets to defend herself (this will be important later!).

SO WHAT POINT AM I TRYING TO MAKE??? AM I JUST MAKING ABUSE APOLOGIA (the answer may surprise you)?

No. I don't think so.

Ashley is obviously very bad. She's controlling and uses pretty textbook abuse and entrapment tactics on Andrew whereas everything he does to her is inference, with Ashley too daft to realize just how much danger she's in until the vision in the Decay ending spells it out for her- and I don't know if a true abuse dynamic allows for one to be completely unaware of the consequences of breaking free. She could just let go of her desire for control and Andrew would be a much happier person.

And that's the point, because so would she.

I bring up control because that push and pull- that desire for control over each other- is exactly what's tearing their relationship apart, and this effect most obviously manifests in the two endings of episode 2. In the Decay ending, Ashley either tries to exert control over Andrew due to a lack of trust, or Andrew allows his feelings of entrapment to truly take root in his mind and guide his actions. In the Decay ending, Andrew becomes a true doormat with no will of his own, allowing his feelings of bitterness and resentment to fester and grow, eventually resulting in their deaths.

In the Burial ending, Andrew does the exact opposite. He takes control of the situation and does exactly what Ashley would do without much of a fuss. This eventually culminates in THAT scene (assuming you take the Questionable route), where his facial expression alone speaks volumes:

Look at how fucking confident this man is. This is not the face of someone who's unsure of himself; this is the face of someone who knows exactly what he wants and takes it. He is absolutely in control of this situation, and everyone is happier for it.

And what does Ashley have to do to get this ending?

Let's go back to Decay for a moment. If Ashley has bullets in her gun, she has control over the situation. She, at any point, could put an end to Andrew and survive. And yet, at the very end of it all, she could choose not to. She could choose to surrender control to Andrew, allowing herself to die. And that ending, I believe so much of his life and willpower will have decayed that there's nothing left for him to take control of, leaving him no choice- or rather, no use for the control he now has- but to die with her.

And in the Burial ending, she has to let him out of his cage before it's too late. She has to surrender control to him, and when she does-

-He will become everything she ever needed him to be.

It's all about her surrendering control, and it's all about him taking control. Because, no matter what, as long as that happens... the two of them will be together forever.

In life...

...or in death.

How romantic.

So no, the incest end is not the fucking bad end. They're going to be together forever in the end either way, so they might as well live through it.

[anemoiashifts]

what your s/o wants you to know, pick an object reading !

please pick one of the jelly cats above ! ⋆.˚

note !! if reading doesn’t resonate, that’s okay !! please don’t force yourself to make it fit. there will be other readings :)

also thank you to everyone who voted on my poll for what type of reading. if the one you voted for didn’t win, im probably going to end up doing all of them anyways so don’t worry. the next one being a pick an item reading from your desired reality self. id like do maybe do something like month shifting readings at the top of each month ? maybe ?? ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

✦

bashful lilac bunny ! ୭ ˚.⁺⊹ .ᐟ

songs : vampire by olivia rodrigo, wait for life by lana del rey & emile haynie, fvck somebody by the wrecks.

this person has the tendency to irresponsible at times & jump to conclusions irrationally. however, they work best in teams & loves the work that they do. some jobs this person could have is a private investigator or work in law; someone who likes to take care of people. because of this persons work they may struggle with negative thinking & could have a lot of spiritual baggage. your presence grounds them & allows some normalcy. you & this person will unfortunately go through a lot of grieving & hardships together. it’s giving the vibe of something similar to enemies to lovers or on again / off again. when things are good, they’re great ! but things are bad, they’re bad. despite opposing views at times, you both strive for comfort.

this person wants you to care about yourself more. not just a skin care routine or repeating positive affirmations but learning to accept yourself & being kinder to yourself without judgement. you tend to strive when in confidence regarding every area — self image, performance, how you carry yourself. your confidence & self improvement is why this person is most attracted to you.

✦

smudge hippo ! ୭ ˚.⁺⊹ .ᐟ

songs : my hair by ariana grande, my love all mine mitski, consume by chase atlantic.

this person loves you. like looooves you. they think you’d be a good parent & would want to start a family with you if possible. you both are very caring & nurturing to one another & balance one another very well. this person has a lot of patience & emotional strength. they want you to know all your efforts will pay off. they think you have a lack of focus & believe you are suffering to attempt to shift because you see shifting meditations or exercises as boring. your person knows that if you could skip to being in your dr — you would. this person wants you to realize sometimes taking the time to nurture your desires & our some action to them can help your manifestations grow.

your s/o wants you to have more structure & discipline. to create some goals that are outside of shifting so you can stop seeing the process of shifting as tiring & a chore & get excited about it again.

✦

lavender dragon ! ୭ ˚.⁺⊹ .ᐟ

i just want to preface, this specific reading for group number three / lavender dragon looks a littleeee different from the previous. this pile & re-pulling of cards for clarification has circled back to money over & over. im going to go off track & also include some things that your s/o may want to let you know in regardless to this / what this could mean.

songs : king of everything by madison beer , mind over matter by young the elephant, hometown by twenty one pilots, i saw you in a dream by the japanese house.

this person wants to remind you that “everything happens for a reason”. they could’ve had to work their way up to the top & can sometimes burry themselves into their work. they can get a little standoffish & as a result your relationship with them could be a little codependent at times. they want you to break away from that aspect of your relationship with them that can definitely bleed into how you view them here. you have a tendency to lose yourself in others & sacrifice parts of yourself to please them & this person doesn’t want to see you change completely to appease them — they like you for you. you tend to get lost in the fantasy aspect of it all. thinking of what shifting could be instead of reflecting & looking at what works for you vs what doesn’t. “there is a time & a place for everything”.

you could be facing some struggles here that incorporate money in some way. maybe you’re in between jobs or are struggling financially right now ? it could just be a situation you are in that has a larger price tag: starting college, purchasing a car, etc. your dr s/o wants to remind you new beginnings in this reality will come & your financial situation will improve. this could also apply to your desired reality, maybe you both are tight on money atm. i didn’t get any clear clarifications despite efforts so i suppose this is something only for you to know the answer to or something that is supposed to be a mystery. for some of you that may resonate while others it may not. however, why i included this is the messaging of having things going on in this reality that could deserve attention here. shifting will always be here, while life here is fleeting, is the vibe im picking up for this last group.

✦

thank you for reading !! :) i hope you were able to take something away from it. 🤍🤍

[allisondraste]

I’ve seen various different posts on the website formerly known as Twitter and this one right here, discussing Gale’s behavior in romance as obsessive, possessive, and possibly codependent. And while I support everyone having their own interpretations and opinions, I do disagree, so I want to talk about it!

First— it’s so important to acknowledge that Gale is strictly monogamous. He is not someone who is comfortable with a partner having other partners. This is fine, and not inherently indicative of any unhealthy attachment styles. Wyll, Karlach, and Lae’Zel are also monogamous in a relationship.

Gale does struggle with some insecurity that at times bleeds it’s way into his romantic relationship, but isn’t a product of the relationship itself. His biggest insecurity is feeling like he isn’t enough (in general, not just for a romantic partner). Mystra had a way of making him feel like nothing he did was ever enough, he always needed to do more, to be more, and when he tried, when he made mistakes, she abandoned him.

Those are wounds that do not heal quickly, and so he needs quite a bit of reassurance from both friend and lover PCs that he’s fine just the way he is and that he doesn’t have to try so hard or pretend to be fine when he’s not.

He’s lonely. Due to his condition, Gale, who is an incredibly social person, had to hermit himself away from his friends and colleagues for over a year. Mystra was no longer interacting with him, and he was afraid to be around his mother because he didn’t want her to worry. His only company was Tara, and as much as he loves her, shes not a replacement for human or humanoid connection. Usually with folks who struggle with codependency and insecure attachment, there are long patterns of each of those things in all of their other relationships, but Gale seems to have had pretty healthy relationships, the Mystra situation being the exception, not the rule.

It excites him when he gets to travel with a group, have friends. It’s even more exciting to him when he finds someone who makes him forget the hurt Mystra has caused. Yet he still has to withdraw from even that because he does not want to put their life in danger. It is not until act 2 after Elminster has cast the incantation to calm the orb that Gale feels comfortable enough to give in to his feelings. And yeah! He comes in strong because he’s been holding it in. He’s been pining away, sad that he can’t let himself so much as kiss Tav or else he quite literally explode.

When you talk to Gale after his romance scene in act 2, you’re able to confront him about his feelings for Mystra, and he is very direct, stating that he does still have complicated feelings for her. Which makes SENSE. The game and Gale himself try to minimize Mystra as just his ex, but she is more than that. She is his groomer and abuser. Gale is traumatized, and it will likely take him the rest of his life to get over that. It’s not something that more time alone is going to heal. He needs a support system to help him. He needs his mom, his friends, and maybe even his new partner.

You can also ask him if he meant it when he said he loved you, and his answer is “I am many things to many people, but I am never one to throw the l-word around lightly.” He didn’t just say it on a whim. He thought about it, probably extensively. Judging from the dialogue we get, he’s aware that he is rushing to say it, and admits that it’s because he’s scared that he’s going to literally die tomorrow. It’s not a love bomb. It’s an “I need you to know this, just in case something happens to me.”

Once he doesn’t die in act 2, he simmers down. He becomes more concerned with curing his condition, he faces Mystra, he accepts that he doesn’t need to have godly power to be worthy of love and respect.

At the end of the game, he asks you if you’ll come back to Waterdeep with him, which is his way of proposing more or less, but its more that he wants to be home and he wants the person who has become so important to him to come with him, to meet his mom, to see his hometown. He wants them to want that too.

He’s a grown man, mid to late 30s, not a naive young person. He knows what he wants. He’s thought about it, extensively.

In my opinion, there’s nothing possessive, obsessive, codependent, or unhealthy about any of that.

[umemiyan]

𝗬𝗨𝗨𝗧𝗔 𝗢𝗞𝗞𝗢𝗧𝗦𝗨 𝗫 𝗙!𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗥. ⌇ 18+ only, mdni / incest but could be read as stepcest / sort of a non-curse au i guess / mentions of underage masturbation / jealousy / a little bit of codependency / voyeurism / reader goes through a breakup / some hurt/comfort / unprotected piv sex / creampie / 2.6k words

little brother!yuuta who has always held you in the highest regard. you have more or less been the center of his universe for as long as he can remember, because nobody has ever been quite as radiant and captivating as his older sister. where he would hear of the complicated dynamics between other people and their siblings, he could only ever think of positive things to say about his relationship with you. he simply couldn’t relate to those who didn’t adore their siblings, and maybe some would find it a bit odd, but it was of little concern to him.

little brother!yuuta who has been the #1 admirer of your beauty from the very beginning. he would find himself in awe of you at any given time, really, but especially when you happened to get dressed up for whatever reason. you would barely be old enough for your body to properly fill out an outfit, but he’d still look at you with sparkling eyes and a small awestruck gasp.

“wow, nee-chan… you look beautiful! where are you going?” he’d ask, always wishing he could tag along.

you would chuckle at his adoration, your sweet brother always being your greatest supporter. “i’m just going to my friend’s birthday party. i’ll be back in time for bed, i promise!"

little brother!yuuta who is so very used to the ritual you’ve always had at bedtime. your special little goodnight phrase that you say to each other before going to sleep is simply a must each and every day. it feels too wrong not to do it, so even if you’re away from each other at night you always find a way to make it work to the best of your abilities, whether it be a quick few second phone call or a text that would never go unread.

little brother!yuuta who always had a bad habit of crawling into bed with you as a small child. the frequency of it eventually dwindled down, but even when he got into his teens, he still found himself slipping under the covers with you from time to time for some comfort. sometimes it was the only way he could manage to get a few hours of sleep—other times he simply laid there awake, finding comfort in your presence alone. but there were also times when he would lay in his own bed, aching with the need to feel you close but too afraid to get near you lest you possibly become irritated with him for being so needy.

little brother!yuuta who, sometimes, after he became old enough, would find himself waking up feeling hot and sticky with an ache between his legs as you held each other in your sleep. his thoughts would flash back to the dream he had just been having before, and he would panic and scramble to back away from you before you got the chance to wake up and notice his hard, leaking cock or the wet mess he’d made in his pants.

he’d carefully distance himself from you even more and squeeze his eyes shut to try and will away the need, or softly climb out of bed to go finish himself off when he couldn’t take it anymore, or clean up the mess he’d already made in his sleep. yuuta would try so hard not to think of you while jerking his cock, but flashes of your face still crept up into his very conflicted mind.

little brother!yuuta who found that something always struck him whenever you would decide to go on a date with a boy, or when someone had asked you out to a special event at school. he would watch with a smile as you walked out the door or stood taking photos, but there was always a sense of fear that crept up inside. he wanted be happy for you… but were you going to abandon him? would you let someone else hold your hand or sleep in your bed? these were such selfish thoughts and he felt absolutely horrible for having them, but he could never make them fully go away no matter how hard he tried.

little brother!yuuta who, one night not long before you moved away from home, tried to sneak into your room for the first time in a while to fall asleep next to you. but before he could gently open the door, he heard soft sounds coming from behind it, and he realized that you had someone over while everyone was (supposed to be) asleep. he pressed his ear to the door to get a better listen, and then gulped as his heart sank in his chest at the quiet but unmistakable noises. despite the shock and devastation, there was a sensation of heat pooling in his belly, and he lingered a little bit longer than he should have.

little brother!yuuta who goes back to his room and can’t go to sleep without first emptying his balls to the thought of what you must look like while being fucked. and after that night, he’s been fighting with himself ever since.

little brother!yuuta who, years later, does everything he can to not think of you when he’s getting himself off, but he sometimes becomes desperate enough for relief from the frustration that he’ll imagine your beautiful face and body and paint his own stomach with hot cum almost instantly. he’ll lay there with both guilt and satisfaction as the seed pools in his bellybutton and starts drying where it splattered all the way up to his chest, the load so heavy and thick from all the time that had passed since he’d last done this.

little brother!yuuta who holds himself back from masturbating for as long as he can because you inevitably pop into his brain every single time. and pathetically enough, he almost can’t cum unless he thinks of you.

little brother!yuuta who felt disgusted with himself the first time he had sex with a girl because the image of you was lingering in the back of his mind the entire time.

little brother!yuuta who convinced you to let him stay with you sometimes after you moved out and eventually started living with your boyfriend. although he couldn’t sneak himself into your bed like he used to, he would happily sleep on the couch knowing that you weren’t very far away. truthfully, living apart from you had been absolute hell.

little brother!yuuta who would recreate the same scenario from years ago, standing outside your bedroom door and listening closely to what you sounded like when your boyfriend fucked you. although it made his heart ache for reasons he tried not to think about, he couldn’t help but commit every noise to memory while he stood there shamefully, brows furrowed and cock rapidly hardening.

little brother!yuuta who has offered nothing but smiles and encouragement to you all these years even while he ached and suffered on the inside. watching you live your life without him around every day, doting on a lover and giving them the affection that used to be his… it’s almost unbearable. it has impacted him far more than he’s ever been willing to show, but his only option thus far has been to simply grin and bear it, even when it felt like he might crumble to pieces.

little brother!yuuta who is the first one there for you after a fairly nasty breakup with your boyfriend, and who moves in with you to help out with the rent now that your partner is gone. at least, that’s what he tells himself; in reality, he couldn’t be more thrilled to live with you again and to bid your burden of an ex a long-awaited goodbye.

little brother!yuuta who does his best to be the greatest roommate you’ve ever had, willing to do every chore in the universe simply because he’s so elated to be here with you. and his instinct is to latch onto you, to have endless movie nights and spend every waking moment with his big sister, but he holds himself back because he doesn’t want to come off as too much, to push you away after he just managed to get you back. however, after dealing with your breakup, you seem to be more than happy to spend a bit of extra time with him, and this makes his heart feel full.

little brother!yuuta who cheers you up with his now genuine smiles and laughter, not having felt this wonderful in a very long time. it’s almost too good to be true, but he savors every minute of it—every minute spent snuggled up on the couch or goofing off while making dinner together. he never wants it to come to an end.

little brother!yuuta who hears you crying one night and simply can’t resist the urge to softly pad into your bedroom and slip under the covers, wrapping his arms around you from behind and breathing in your familiar scent. you don’t remember him being so big, but you suppose that’s what happens after being apart for so long.

not a word is spoken between you two; yuuta just holds you like his most prized possession and lets you weep in the darkness until the sorrow leaves your body. it subsides quicker than usual because you feel less lonely now with him cradling you like this, and you realize you haven’t felt so comforted since the last time he’d managed to weasel himself into your bed far too long ago. you’d never said it out loud, but he’d comforted you just as much as you did him whenever he would feel the need to seek you out in his younger days.

little brother!yuuta who isn’t expecting you to turn around and face him, to look into his eyes even in the darkness so that you may have some sort of realization. perhaps it’s the lingering residuals of loneliness and heartbreak, but regardless, you feel compelled to wrap your own arms around his waist and nuzzle into his chest for warmth. he’s all grown up but still so soft and sweet as he always has been, giving you more love and adoration than anybody ever has. you feel terribly guilty for having taken it for granted at times.

but now he’s here in your arms again, still giving you everything even when he doesn’t have to.

little brother!yuuta whose breath hitches when he feels your mouth on his collarbone, slowly trailing kisses up to his neck and setting his skin on fire as you go. he’s suddenly convinced that he’s dreaming, yet another one of his sinful fantasies being dredged up from the darkest corners of his mind and playing in his sleep. but he blinks and you’re still there, still pressing soft and somehow chaste kisses against his open throat until he’s struggling to breathe.

little brother!yuuta who freezes in place, tears welling up in his big blue eyes at what he’s about to ask next, the guilt and embarrassment nearly causing him to malfunction.

“nee-chan…?” he finally manages to squeak out, blood rushing to his cock as you breathe against him.

“hmm?” you hum, nuzzling his neck with your nose.

he gulps, hips rolling forward against you just the slightest bit, his control over his body weakening now that you’re so close. “c-can i please…please have you?” his voice trembles and now he’s the one crying, a single tear slipping down his cheek as he stares off into the distance and hopes this isn’t the end of it all.

thankfully, you kiss him and show him that it isn’t.

little brother!yuuta who melts into your lips faster than he can process what’s happening, the taste of your tongue instantaneously sending him into another dimension. your mouth is so sweet and warm against his own that he can’t stop himself from being absolutely blissed out within seconds.

little brother!yuuta who feels as though he’s finally found his purpose in life when he has you underneath him and soaking the tip of his cock as it brushes through your folds. it’s already everything that he’s ever imagined and more, and he hasn’t even been inside you yet.

little brother!yuuta who practically sighs with relief as he slides into you for the first time, nice and slow. it’s as if the biggest weight has been lifted off his shoulders and he’s finally come home, his heart and mind now able to rest easy after years of torment.

he doesn’t even move once he’s hilted inside you, taking several moments to bury his face in your neck and just feel the way you engulf him in warmth in every single way.

little brother!yuuta who knows he needs to feel as close to you as he possibly can. it’s not enough to simply take care of one another, sharing smiles and laughter and keeping each other company like average siblings; no… he needs much more than that. he wants to consume you like you do him (even if you don’t necessarily mean it). he needs to inhabit every part of you, feel you from the inside, and pour this overwhelming amount of love out in the best way he can possibly think of.

and even that doesn’t feel like quite enough. there’s still something scratching in his skull that tells him to truly make you his, to stake his claim, and he wants you to do the very same.

little brother!yuuta whose once still hips are now restless and begging for motion, who starts out slow but is already drooling over how your cunt squeezes him so perfectly. it isn’t long before he’s practically drilling into you, fucking every emotion out of his poor body and straight into yours, to ultimately make you both ‘one.’ he doesn’t mean to be rough for the sake of it, he just loves you so much that it almost hurts, makes his body ache in ways that only this will alleviate after so many years of holding it all back.

little brother!yuuta whose wet eyes never leave your face and who could cum any second but stops himself from doing so if only to make you see pleasure first. his body pleads for release, but he would rather be left somewhere to rot than give in without first making you see stars, showing you how much he really loves you. and when he finally finds that spot and presses into it over and over again with his desperate, eager pace, you’re squeezing and shaking around him and making him sob into his own orgasm until it eventually starts to spill out of you in earnest.

little brother!yuuta who afterwards still isn’t fully convinced that this is reality, and who would do anything to cling onto this feeling for all of eternity. he’ll endure anything life throws at him, will let you do anything you want to him as long as he’s allowed to indulge in you. his big sister can dig her nails into his flesh, bite and suck his skin until she can taste blood, deny him of every pleasure, if that’s what she truly desires. he hopes you’ll love with the same grace you always have, but even if you don’t, he’ll sit and take whatever you give him with silent pride and gratitude, because you’re his beautiful onee-chan, his guardian angel in a world full of darkness. and he wants absolutely everything from you.

[visenyaism]

what do you think alicent & criston's relationship is from alicent's point of view? and why did she hire him after ep 5 if she's kinda obviously against murder?

so episode five is one of alicent’s lowest points: no real friends in court, evil all-powerful father exiled to oldtown, husband doesn’t give a fuck about her other than using her body when he wants, and then also she finds out the ONE point of solace she was going to have, that Rhaenyra was going to be equally as miserable as her in her own marriage so at least they’d suffer together, isn’t even happening because Rhaenyra fucked a hot knight and then lied to Alicent’s face about it and used it to get Otto removed from court.

and then Criston shows up and puts his entire life in Alicent’s hands because he is that devoted to following the Arbitrary Society Rules that Alicent’s mind prison is made up of. She’s never really had that kind of power over anyone before. And even when he snaps and beats a man to death with his bare hands at Rhaenyra’s wedding it’s because of his deep sense of shame about losing his honor because of those rules. Criston tries to kill himself to maintain his construction of his own honor, Alicent offers him a way out.

After that, I think the core of their relationship is that Alicent DID find someone to suffer alongside with in the confines of devotion to extreme societal duty, but instead of Rhaenyra, it’s Criston as the One True Chivalric Honor Knight and Alicent as the One True Dutiful Queen. Criston is the ONLY person in her life who is willing to acknowledge out loud that Rhaenyra is breaking the rules, and you can’t break the rules because if you could break them this entire time why has Alincent had to ruin her entire life over and over again to follow the rules? Everyone else was telling her she was literally insane for years for pointing out that Rhaenyra’s kids aren’t Laenor’s or for trying to say that it was unfair that the King cared more about her than he did Alicent’s children. Their codependency was built on shared resentment of AND devotion to these rules and it is soooo insane and very fascinating. i hope they stay miserable together forever

[blackbatcass]

helloo :D

So, I keep seeing people saying that Jason is Bruce’s favorite child, and the only one that was actually like a son to Bruce. (aside from Damian) Also that just because Dick and Bruce were partners/brothers too, it means that Dick isn’t really like Bruce’s son. How Jason and Bruce are each other’s favorite and Dick wishes he could be Bruce’s son (basically it just gets worse and worse jekskenjske)

AND I DON’T REALLY GET THIS AT ALL.. I COMPLETELY DISAGREED

But then I saw SO MANY posts about this (just getting harsher and harsher LMAO) and I thought I’d ask someone who knew more. So, yeah, here I am!

Thanks for answering if you do, and have a wonderful day!

anon do you want me dead. is that what's happening here

JK JK my first fanon jason ask... what a historic day! basically you're completely right. I don't know where this frankly insane take comes from but whenever me, my mutuals, and pretty much anyone in this corner of the dc fandom sees a post like it we roll our eyes to the heavens. to put it simply the idea that jason is bruce's favorite and the only one he actually loved like a son is a complete fucking lie lol.

first of all to claim that bruce didn't love dick like a son is......I mean. let's just say people saying that have probably never read a comic with bruce and dick before. literally the number one thing to know about these characters is that the love bruce and dick have for each other can be seen from outer space. they have never been normal about each other. bruce raised dick since he was eight. they are thee og codependent father-son partners 'we saved each other we are pack bonded for life if anything happened to him i'd kill everyone in this room and then myself' duo. I mean... there is nuance to be had where they had a very complicated tangled up hard-to-label relationship that had elements of being father & son, elements of being brothers, and ofc partners as batman and robin but that is a function of their relationship being TOO crazy and close not the other way around lol. it is patently true that bruce and dick know each other better than anyone else in the world. it is pretty much true that if you're going to play the favorites game, it's hard to deny that dick is bruce's favorite. that's his eldest his most trusted his saving grace his person who understands him better than anyone. I could pull like an endless amount of panels as evidence that dick was bruce's favorite. there are so many 'dick is the only thing i did right' 'i only feel pride when i look at nightwing' etc etc. dick is his child in every way that matters basically

which is not to say that jason isn't bruce's son! he definitely is! bruce does love jason, but jason was his second kid lol. and it's...i mean jason was robin for a very short time in the grand scheme of things. you can blow through his robin run super fast because it's just not very long. the idea that bruce loved jason more or there's more of a father-son bond to be found in the few issues they were together for as opposed to the 10 years dick was robin is actually insane. bruce literally admitted that the reason he let jason be robin was because he missed dick. lol. lmao even.

basically yeah claiming that jason is bruce's favorite and dick was never treated as bruce's son is just a lie. it's not true. it's like that 'jason is tim's favorite robin' nonsense that was going around a few months ago; it completely ignores canon and essential character elements in jason's favor. I don't know why some jason fans are so obsessed with putting him up on a pedestal by bashing other characters on his behalf. and like...it is possible to have two sons? and love them both? lmfao? and that's not even getting into like tim and cass (also bruce's adopted children). I don't know why people just decided this was a thing but it is false<3

[nicosraf]

Hello!! I hope this isn’t an odd/rude question to ask but it’s been on my mind a lot.

And forgive me if any of my assumptions about these characters are incorrect or if I’m just missing something, my media literacy isn’t always awesome hahaha

So anyways, we all know Rosier and Asmodeus’s relationship is pretty unhealthy, but if I’m remembering right I feel like I’ve seen some descriptions of their relationship that imply that they’re Both bad for each other.

Maybe I just wooby-ify Rosier too much because I love him lol, but I honestly have a bit of a hard time not seeing Asmodeus as the sole aggressor/one in the wrong regarding their relationship issues, and mostly only seeing Rosier as a victim of Asmodeus’s assault.

Perhaps Rosier’s wrongdoing just comes from his desire to stay with Asmodeus despite the pain and trauma it left him with? I’m not sure, but I was just wondering if there was something I may have missed that Rosier had done/currently does that would also hurt Asmodeus too?

I mean obviously other than cutting his head off but that was in self defense so I don’t count that haha. But then again, maybe that is what Rosier did wrong? I’m not sure lol

Hi! Not a rude question at all! I really like talking about Rosier (that's why he's getting his whole own novella (in case you didn't know, since I've only discussed this on my newsletter).

Rosier doesn't have... any wrongdoing, so to speak. In terms of his relationship with Asmodeus, he definitely hasn't done anything wrong. Asmo and Rosier are not a case of "they're both bad people so it's fine that they're toxic" (like Lucifer and Baal, for example, or even Lucifer and Michael in A&M). Rosier is a victim and there's not a lot of nuance about it. He was hurt and it wasn't his fault.

I'm not sure if you mean something I've said when you say "descriptions" but if you do, let me explain what I mean when I say that Rosier isn't that "good" of a person. (This isn't going to be "Rosier is toxic and evil too, and he's evil to Asmodeus" because he's not. He has (toxic) codependency issues with Asmodeus, but that doesn't make him evil. I mean, we can understand that as a result of the trauma of losing, you know, God.)

So to make it very clear, let me tell you about demon Rosier without bringing Asmodeus into the equation about Rosier's morality:

Rosier knows what Lucifer is up to all the time. He knows a lot of the awful things Lucifer is responsible for. Rosier might be out of place with the demons, but he's kind to them (see: Baal). He will clean up the blood of innocent people if Lucifer asked him to. He would do it if Baal asked him to. (Even if he's sad about it, he'd still do it). If Baal needed someone to comfort him after a mass murder, Rosier would hold him. If any horrible demon needed a shoulder to cry on, Rosier would offer his.

Rosier is a very kind person. He's actually what happens when you're too kind. He makes excuses and he allows bad people around him to do whatever they want. He's almost a complete bystander. He's not as trapped as he thinks himself to be. And (this is important in his novella) being a "good person" is about more than just smiling at people, it's about not letting bad things happen to innocent people. (Sometimes we read about horrible people irl and we're shocked by the family/friends around the perpetuators that just let them get away from it. We like to imagine they agreed with it, but the truth is that they probably just kept making excuses. They downplayed it because they loved them. (I used to know the son of a very bad man (a guy with a wiki page, so yeah it was bad), and though the man is locked up for life, the son loved his father. He loved him so much he just refused to think about the people his dad hurt. Does this make the son a bad person? Who knows, but it definitely puts his morality into question. I mean, are you really willing to forgive the worst crimes imaginable against innocent people just because you love someone or think that you do?))

This is also why demons can be annoyed with Rosier for acting so angelic. They think that Rosier is just as bad as everyone else just by virtue of never doing anything about the bad things. They think he just wants to feel better about himself.

So returning back to Asmo, yeah Rosier is not the aggressor here. Not even a little. Rosier's imperfect goodness exists even though he's a victim. (I feel like I say this a lot in relation to characters in the series but yeah — you can be a victim and do things of dubious morality). His imperfect goodness exists independent of Asmodeus (Lucifer, Baal, for example) but exists within the context of his love for Asmodeus, as well. Not that Asmodeus is hurt by it. Asmodeus is mostly hurt by his own actions and his own thoughts. If you asked Asmo, I think he would tell you that Rosier's never done anything wrong to him.

Anyway! This is really long! but Rosier's morality is very fun for me to talk about because of how complex it is. There's a line in his novella about how there are 2 kinds of demons: those that kill and those who knowingly welcome the killers home. And Rosier realizes that despite how kind and good he wants to be, despite his intent, he's become the latter.

In essence,

[burr-ell]

Genuine question bc i always psyche myself out of writing due to this exact fear, how do we differentiate and avoid Shallow Angst when we pursue writing character studies? Situational angst seems straight forward where it's like oh no character got Hurt and now needs to be Comforted (the "plot" seems out to get this dude hurt and everyone centers on said dude with little other exploration), but say we did want to look at canon grief, using Vex as the example; what is the good way and what is the bad way to explore it? When do we go too far into excluding the rest of the story?

So I had conversations with @blorbologist and @essayofthoughts about this very thing, and what it basically boils down to is this: are you looking at these emotions realistically, taking into consideration the massive spectrum of how these characters interact with them and attempting to push past your own limited perspective of how feelings work, or are you just using them as a vessel to convey how you feel about something or what you think should happen?

Because there are plenty of very good fanworks that involve angst! Angst is, in simple terms, the examination of anxiety, dread, and sadness, and that absolutely has a place in the creation of art. Well-written angst attempts to find the character's voice in it all—it considers how they've dealt with emotions like that in canon, it asks what real-life expressions of grief or sorrow make sense for that character to convey based on their personality and past history, and as all good fanworks (and original works) do, it comes from a desire to understand someone who is not like you.

Take the example of Vex:

How would Vex deal with the loss of Vax? Based on what we know about her, I think it's safe to say that yes, she would be leaning a lot on Percy and Trinket, burying herself in her work some days to avoid the worst of it, but there are also days she'd be avoiding Percy, and maybe even Trinket, to go off on her own. I think she'd hold resentment toward the Raven Queen, even as I think she'd also want to keep the shrine standing in Vax's memory and actively push herself to forgive her. It would be complicated even further by her pregnancy, and all of the hormonal imbalances and physical complications that would entail. It would be complicated even further by the fact that she and Syldor canonically attempt to reconcile specifically in the wake of Vax's death; while I doubt they'd see much of each other in the first year or two, I think they would both be making incredibly awkward and loaded overtures that would be emotionally complicated and draining.

There are times she would lash out and times she would be hollow, and there's a lot she probably wouldn't be able to talk about because she just can't, because grief isn't something you can often put into words. There's a lot she'd also laugh and joke and smile about, because coping with loss means letting the wound scab over. There are times she'd be able to connect to Percy and Keyleth over the loss and times she couldn't, because the loss of a loving-but-complicated family and the loss of a lover don't feel quite the same as the loss of a twin who was all you had for over a decade.

There are a lot of ways to convey all that! There's no "right" answer; this is up for interpretation. But I do think "Vex will never braid her hair again cause Vax used to do that!" is definitely a wrong one.

Vex and Vax were codependent, but I think people tend to overstate the degree, and tend to ignore their canonical relationship development and Vex's characterization. I think it's important to note that Vex actually handles being separated from Vax during the Trial of the Take arc much better than Vax handles it; she makes fast friends with Zahra and generally seems to be enjoying herself and having a good time. Vex closes herself off a lot, but I think an underrated part of her speech at Percy's resurrection is how it recontextualizes the titling in Syngorn—he made her a part of something precious to him, and by the end of the campaign her stated goal is "make Whitestone the tits". Vex didn't just like, wind up as a city figurehead by marriage and shrug and decide to make the best of it; she was offered a chance and made it her bitch. The Raven Queen took part of Vex away when she took Vax, not all of her.

Yes, the loss is incredibly tragic and the end of Campaign 1 is bittersweet, but there are ways to portray Vex dealing with it that don't involve the general tenor of "ALRIGHT EVERYONE, DAILY REMINDER TO BE SAD ABOUT VAX". Like, I don't think Vex's first thought when she saw Laudna's body was "she looks just like Vax :( time for my daily Two Minutes Sad". (My issue with that isn't even whether the thought might occur to her—it absolutely could! But after thirty years, I doubt it would have been anywhere near the same level as "this innocent young woman was horribly killed for looking like me and I have to help her however I can; also if Delilah comes back I can should must and will tear her a new asshole". Like, the Vax thing might have come up long in the aftermath of her and Percy's inevitable late-night alcohol-induced therapy railing, but probably not before.)

A lot of the shallow angst you see in fandom generally has the same voice—not necessarily because it's written by the same people (although you do see many of the same people purveying it), but because the trending popular angst has to trend and be popular somehow, and it does so by channeling thoughts and emotional expressions that are broadly approved and accepted by the community, whatever that community happens to be. The characters in these fanworks behave the way that they do regardless of whether or not it makes sense in the narrative because shallow angst isn't about the narrative—it's about making your audience sad in the specific, narrow way that you are sad. It's about projecting yourself and your own emotions and how you would deal with them onto a character instead of trying to really understand someone who's different from you.

In our discussion, Blorb described fanworks in a way that really resonated with me—they're conversations with canon. Good, effective conversations are real attempts to communicate with people, trying to understand where they're coming from and connecting with who they are. Shallow conversations are one or multiple parties only thinking of the other person as a reflection of themselves, getting out their own thoughts and feelings with little interest in trying to figure out who other people actually are. And it's not that I think people who make these kinds of works are ontologically bad; it's that I think they're stifling their own creativity and growth. Everyone deserves better than to be limited to themselves.

[dangermousie]

Watching Jin in The Last Immortal made me think of Xiao Yao and Cang Xuan in Lost You Forever. More specifically how they are all adult survivors of childhood abandonment for a cause and how it affects them permanently.

Xianxia is such a high fantasy setting and usually deals with such larger than life situations (either world-saving or romantic.) Characters always die for the world or get doomed for love or whatever. And it’s great fun to watch. A xianxia done right is a rare pleasure.

But I love that two very different dramas this year actually take a different tack of sorts - they go, it’s great you saved the world/died for love/averted calamity etc etc but what happens to those left behind especially when said person is a child?

If you think about it, Xiao Yao, Cang Xuan and Jin are all characters who were abandoned by all those who were supposed to love them as children and it wasn’t because their parents/caretakers were bad people. It’s because none of the adults in their lives ever put the children first - they put saving the country (XY’s mom), saving the world (Jin’s dad), or true love (CX’s mom and Jin’s mom) over the children and the dramas go - well that’s great but it fucks the kids up.

If you are devoted to a cause, whether it’s an idea or a person, it makes you a failure to those not encompassed by that cause.

It doesn’t even have to be a cause that doesn’t take the kid into consideration. Xiao Yao’s father abandoned her out of a desire to protect her. But the fact remains is, she was abandoned and as she puts it in one of the dialogues - all the adults in her life, all the ones who loved her, had reasons for abandoning her but it was still abandonment.

I mean, if you look at Xiao Yao, as a result of her abandonment, she really cannot be in a healthy relationship - she can allow Cang Xuan in because he’s family and she cared for him before her world imploded but even with him I think she doesn’t expect him to be around forever. And as to a romantic relationship - she doesn’t even want a codependent one, because codependency implies a degree of reciprocity. What she wants is someone to depend on her while she is not as involved. As she puts it, she wants a man who would put her first and only, over any cause, or any family or anything. If you think about it, she falls for a man who has been disassembled by torture to a completely basic level and rebuilds his desires and his entire identity around her and he ultimately still fails her test by the end of LYF1.

And there is Cang Xuan. Whose father was killed in battle which is traumatic but then whose mother kills herself over his father’s grave, leaving her small child an orphan in a den of wolves with only “when you are an adult, you will understand.” No surprise - no he does not, and grows as fucked up as XY or more. If XY is willing to open to love even if in a dysfunctional format (and eventually she heals enough that she actually does get a happy ending in terms of love though she loses a lot on the way; the ending is a mixed one in terms of sweetness), CX is not at all - he believes he’s unworthy of love and incapable of receiving it properly. The fact that the sole woman he loves is XY, his cousin, also the one person around him who he knew before his life went to hell, and even with her he doesn’t really try to pursue her for a long long time even as she falls in love with someone else or gets engaged to yet another man - is proof of his damage. By trying to live her grand doomed romance and screw anyone else even her own son, his mother ensured her son will never have a proper love of his own.

And how with The Last Immortal we see the same effects with Jin. TLI is a kinder narrative and the ending of the drama is supposed to be happy for him (unlike the novel apparently) and Jin himself is not as closed off as the cousins in LYF, but he is so very clearly damaged by abandonment - his refusal to seek responsibility or come into his power, his deliberate goal of making his life as meaningless as possible are all the results of his dad liking the world more than his family and his mom liking his dad more than anyone and anything else.

All three of these characters are adults and capable ones at that but the damage lingers and lingers. And I find it so fascinating in a high fantasy setting.

These are narratives of those left behind on a grand heroic quest and that is something you rarely see done.

[fishhjuice]

please do tell me about Beika and Ichiya I also have a lot of thoughts abt them and I want to hear urs

(First of all, thank you for indulging me :> Lots of headcanons coming your way)

I headcanon Beika and Ichiya to have been very early childhood best friends to the point there isn't a point of Beika's childhood that doesn't have Ichiya in it, as far as Beika remembers. It always was Ichiya and Beika, Beika and Ichiya (until suddenly very suddenly it wasn't and Beika had to find a way to be herself without Ichiya for the first time.)

Although I use the word homoerotic I don't know if I interpret them as romantic or platonic, just that it was an intense form of love whichever it is that it completely rewired Beika's brain in it's presence AND absensce.

More Under the Cut bc this got LONG

This blurb from Splat 3 artbook (as translated by Ki Rassicas) has shaped how I interpret Ichiya.

The young people who grew up in Splatsville take pride in being born and raised in the Splatlands, and there is an extremely strong sense of solidarity in the community. They deeply cherish their old local culture, which is unsophisticated and simple, yet strong. At the same time, they like to make fun of urban areas such as Inkopolis for acting like they’re “all that”. On the other hand, many of them secretly yearn for that sophisticated, high-collar, Inkopolis culture.

I headcanon that the initial plan to have been to leave together.

In C-side's introduction tweets it is said that C-side (which ofc includes Beika) came from poverty and had to teach themselves how to play. Considering Ichiya is also self taught probably because of the same reasons, I think comforts of Inkopolis called for Ichiya, who also with his charms convinced Beika to believe in a better life out there is possible. Inkopolis gave these two kids who had nothing to their name and gave them hope and when present had nothing to offer to them it was their future together that kept them going.

I also believe Ichiya chose music as their way of getting out of Splatsville. When Ichiya picked the guitar, Beika happily chose to support Ichiya, as bassists do with their guitarists. (Uotora was also there but you didn't ask for Uotora, maybe later) I think they wrote Now or Never together, not one or the other wrote it more than other (which makes Beika both in the right and the wrong ig). Considering Beika's way of getting pay back for Now or Never was making Splattack, Ichiya's solo, into a duet which she shares with Kikura, i think original Now or Never was a duet Beika and Ichiya shared together.

As I vaguely alluded, the relationship they had was somewhat codependent on Beika's side. While saying so, I don't think Ichiya was aware how much he meant to Beika or took advantage of it, at least knowingly. I think he thought it as someone who always listened to him that he could always fall back to. Y'know, friend stuff :))

It is a lot of "I think"s but I think the fight that tore them apart was initially stemmed from very small disagreement about their music (creative differences and all :]) that Ichiya took as betrayal, and I already talked about how I think Ichiya wasn't used to being told no.

Ichiya took off very shortly after without they could make up (and i think they would have made up) Beika felt very lost for the first time in her life, without "guidance".

(I also vaguely believe Namida and Beika could have similar personalities/can serve as narrative foils, both being squids in button-up shirts with orange tentacles that have ( actually very similar) pink tips. Ichiya's best friends.)

Considering Splattack canonically was the first demo of Squid Squad to be shared in internet and leaked before all the others, AND considering Splattack is how Beika attacks Ichiya back, i think this was the song that Beika says Ichiya showed her.

So what happened, at least in Beika's point of view was:

Ichiya left Beika without second thought and took off with Beika's chance at a future. (He actually never cared)

Ichiya got a new band (You were always disposable)

He replaced Beika with ease and the guy he replaced Beika with was much better (at least at the time) (You are a shit bassist who was never enough)

The moment Ichiya replaced Beika, he was Factually better off. He thrived. He was Famous in Inkopolis. (You were a burden)

This sort of thing is ego crushing, you know. I like thinking Beika would have quit music altogether if not for Uotora bringing Kikura into Beika's life, which Beika couldn't be more grateful to both for (maybe more on this later also). Finding new and meaningful relationships at last got Beika back on her feet, though these things weighed on Beika way until C-side actually found success 7 years later.

I do think Beika too, as she said recorded Now or Never, but didn't release it, because she was ready to move on. It was a song they wrote together, she had no more right to it than Ichiya, so out of what respect she had to their time together, C-side kept it to themselves.

THEN SQUID SQUAD RELEASES NOW OR NEVER.

And apperantly Ichiya has none of that respect Beika had for Ichiya. Had. Not anymore.

In the end, I think as C-side grew as a band, so did their bond, and so did Beika's appreciation for everything Splatsville did for her. I think with time she realized what she really wanted was not Inkopolis itself, and if Splatsville had the means she would have never tried to leave in the first place, hence starting to rep for Splatsville with everything she had (I talked about it in my askblog hehe) . And as she grew as a musician and at last gained the appreciation she grew to deserve, and with how much trust she shows for C-side in tweets (of course kikura would come back, and uotora and beika would let them back in), she not only disproved much of her self doubts about her inadequacy, she also doesn't feel people would leave her the moment they would have the chance.

At least, not until she gets lonely, when she is back at that moment when she was yet to have Uotora and Kikura supporting her.

On Ichiya's side, he was NEVER aware of how much he hurt Beika, so all of this is so petty. Imagine dragging shit from when you were 14-ish and now you are 23-ish. He doesn't understand attt alllll how this is all still relevant??

TLDR: Beika is like a fucked up Elle Woods if you think about it.

[jennifersminds]

bestie what Lana Del Rey songs fit tvd characters or just tvd to you?

my bestie, my love, thank you so much for this ask !!!

as someone who's endlessly obnoxious about both tvd and lana del rey this is quite literally a dream come true so-,

SONGS FITTING TVD AS WHOLE

Video Games

"It's you, it's you, it's all for you. Everything I do, I tell you all the time"

tvd at it's core is about people doing unjustifiable things for 'love'. Whether i choose to read some relationships as more of a predatory obsession, the crux of this show is damaged grieving people sacrificing and further damaging themselves and others in the pursuit of it, see the mikaelsons with eachother and the salvatore's with Elena and Elena with basically everyone. And I've always read Video Games as both one of the most beautiful love songs of all time but also as an acknowledgment of codependence and lost potential. The song romanticises monotony and mundane life, which is fair. but there's a touch of melancholy beneath the surface of picture perfect normalcy. much like tvd itself.

Love

Look at you kids with your vintage music Comin' through satellites while cruisin' You're part of the past, but now you're the future Signals crossing can get confusing

...

Look at you kids, you know you're the coolest The world is yours and you can't refuse it Seen so much, you could get the blues But that don't mean that you should abuse it

following that theme,

"part of the past but now you're the future," Could refer to any of the vampire's in the show but I personally love it when thinking of Elena and the doppelganger's before her. In the background of all of history but with an endless future before her. "You could get the blues, But that don't mean that you should abuse it," EVERY FKN KID ON THAT SHOW. And yes I mean kid, the MF gang were children. And they did, in fact, get the blues and abuse it.

ELENA

Norman Fucking Rockwell

"you're just a man, it's just what you do, you're head in your hands as you colour me blue."

Anyone who's read my endless rambling before knows where I'm going with this but, jfc the salvatore's !!! Both Stefan and Damon (and canon as a whole but wtv) view their mistreatment of Elena as something unavoidable. Following the theme of horrific acts in the name of love from earlier, Stefan didn't have a choice in entering Elena's life. To him, it was his right, his purpose. (he had to know her).

Despite Elena being a grieving child who did not need any more bullshit in her life. He had too. And when that later caused even further turmoil, both from his own actions and indirect, unintended consequences. He metaphorically put his head in his hands, it wasn't just her suffering but him. In fact, if he really thought about it, later in canon, that is. It was almost equally her fault what happened. From his POV atleast.

Damon basically follows all the same beats but is more open about it, bemoaning his own lost chances with Elena as something completely disconnected to his very purposeful and avoidable choices to cause her pain. He's impulsive, it's not his fault.

"Goddamn, man child You act like a kid even though you stand six foot two"

Damon could only dream of being 6'2 but you get it.

Pretty When You Cry

"I'll wait for you, babe, you don't come through, babe You never do, babe, that's just what you do"

For one, she is very pretty when she cries, and two, see above.

ELIJAH (essentially every 'she fucked that old man' song in ldr's discography)

Million Dollar Man

"Someone as dangerous, tainted and flawed as you,"

"You're screwed up and brilliant Look like a million dollar man So why is my heart broke?"

He is screwed up and brilliant and he does break my heart.

BONNIE

Season of the Witch

Obviously, like... (also Davina, I never talk about her but that's my girl)

Pretty When You Cry

"I'll wait for you, babe, you don't come through, babe You never do, babe, that's just what you do"

Similarly too Elena, she's also pretty but the thesis of Bonnie's character is unfortunately being let down by the people around her. If tvd hadn't had jplec as a showrunner we probably would've gotten some proper character arc about that before season eight but...

ELEJAH

Cinnamon Girl

"There's things I wanna say to you But I'll just let you live Like if you hold me without hurting me You'll be the first who ever did"

kill me. literally fucking kill me like it's them fr.

BEKLENA

Doin' Time (yes it's a cover but Lana owns it tbf)

"Me and my girl, we got this relationship I love her so bad, but she treats me like shit"

The toxic girlfriends I deserved but wtv.

"I'd like to hold her head underwater"

Because she drowned her.

REBEKAH

Old Money

"But if you send for me, you know I'll come And if you call for me, you know I'll run I'll run to you, I'll run to you I'll run, run, run I'll come to you, I'll come to you"

Stuck in an endless cycle of finding freedom and falling back to help Klaus when he needs it.

"The power of youth is on my mind Sunsets, small town, I'm out of time Will you still love me when I shine From words but not from beauty My father's love was always strong My mother's glamour lives on and on Yet still inside, I felt alone For reasons unknown to me"

Never ending quest for humanity and mortality, her eventual fate of taking the cure. The loneliness of her thousand years etc

Honorable mentions for, Young and Beautiful (pretty much everyone's mortal x immortal ships anthem but specifically the Klarolines fuck with it so hard which I repect). Say Yes to Heaven, also works for literally every ship but it's always very Kolvina to me.

[ecargmura]

Wind Breaker Episode 6 Review - The Fox Leaves The False Holly

Now, THIS is a well-animated fight of pure hand-to-hand combat. No flashy magics or powers needed. It’s just two delinquents going at it. Cloverworks did an amazing job giving us a fight scene as impactful as Sakura’s brawl from the premiere. I love how it was animated! Sako uses a lot of spin-kicks and punches while Hiiragi is more powerful kicks and punches. I think my favorite aspect of the fight was when Sako was going to kick Hiiragi, but faked it by grabbing his leg. That was so cool! I also really liked Hiiragi utilizing his tall height and long legs by kicking Sako from behind. It shows that the animators know how to get creative with these fight.

Hiiragi and Sako have history with each other. They used to be friends since elementary school when the former saved the latter from bullies. This was when Sako asked Hiiragi to teach him how to fight. When they were in middle school, Sako was keen on following him for the rest of his life and believed he’d be at the top in Furin. However, Hiiragi said that he was going to work under Umemiya and not take the top spot for himself. The moment he told Sako to not follow him anymore and get a new goal in life was when the rift between them happened. It seems it could be an asinine story for some viewers, but I see it as more of Hiiragi trying to help Sako avoid a potential toxic codependent relationship. He was clearly attached to Hiiragi sort of like how Sugishita holds Umemiya in high regard. However, the only difference between Sako and Sugishita is that Umemiya is already at the top so he is someone already respected while Hiiragi is someone who doesn’t want to take that position for himself. Sako could’ve been someone who could’ve been spiteful of Umemiya or Hiiragi because of this because had Sako gone to Furin, there would be a lot of tension. This was why Sako drifted away from Hiiragi and decided to join Shishitoren after Togame and Choji scouted him. Sako believes that power comes from doing things on your own, without the need to depend on anyone. The fact that Hiiragi chooses to be a follower and not a leader was what irked him.

As someone who read the manga last weekend, I want to say that there’s a very interesting theming with Bofurin and Shishitoren. All of the Bofurin members are named after plants, hence why their team’s image color is green and why Umemiya likes gardening. For example, Sakura’s name uses the kanji for Cherry Blossom. In Hiiragi’s case, his name comes from the Japanese word for Osmanthus heterophyllus, or false holly. The “ko” in Sako’s name is the kanji for fox. By extension, all of Shishitoren are named after animals. The To in Tomiyama stands for rabbit. The Game in Togame stands for turtle. The Ma in Arima stands for horse. The Ka in Kanuma stands for deer. It also helps that Shishitoren means Lion’s Head, hence the animal themed names. I think it’s super creative from a writer’s standpoint.

Speaking of Sako, I have to say that I really like his design. Wind Breaker’s character designs are so intricate. Sako stands out a lot to me. While he’s not as pretty as Suo, I still consider him a beauty. He stands out, hence why I think he’s pretty. It also helps that he does look like a fox like his namesake. No, it’s not weird to call male anime characters pretty and I’ll keep doing it.

I also liked the little banter Sakura, Nirei and Suo usually have as an audience member. Sakura’s shit talking actually gets his allies motivated. Suo’s fighting style is supposed a hodgepodge of different martial arts as his instructor was self taught. Hmmm, this does support my Suo being a successor theory…

As a manga reader, the Hiiragi and Sako fight was animated superbly. However, I honestly cannot wait for Sakura vs Togame, which will happen next week. All I can say is that Hiiragi’s words towards Togame, “You don’t know what’s going to happen” is foreshadowing the results of the match. Who do you think will win?

[lepoppeta]

Vox x Alastor?? For the ship bingo

oh my god okay so radiostatic means everything to me

its so gut-wrenchingly sad and also hilarious and also off-putting and also so steeped in devotion and romance it makes me want to scream ??? i want them to metaphorically kiss and make up but i also know that would never fucking happen and thats also good ??? they make my head spin.

alastor is a shameless theatre kid who LOVES being the center of attention — vox is OBSESSED with alastor, and is thus a consistent source of that attention. vox is distressingly easy to tease and alastor feeds off of his passionate responses like a leech. theyre so codependant on each others apparent hatred. i need to bite something.

my favourite version of their relationship that ive made up (and this only works with their series iterations — imo their pilot/comic counterparts have never even considered an acquaintanceship, let alone a romance) is that their falling out was one huge, violent misunderstanding. alastor began to lose his power and status within the overlord hierarchy when he refused to adapt over time (can you IMAGINE how fucking powerful he would be if he just stopped being such a stubborn asshole and decided to start including podcasts under the "radio" umbrella?) and vox swiftly surpassed him. vox didnt want alastor to be left behind, and offered a partnership where they could operate in tandem and basically control almost all media output in hell. alastor mistook this for vox saying that alastor wasnt interesting enough as he was and HAD to change, and as we all know alastor DESPISES being thought of as uninteresting. he tells vox to fuck off and vox is left wondering what the hell just happened.

objectively i dont think theyd ever make up — alastor is FAR too prideful to ever consider the idea that HE was the one who was mistaken, and i dont think he particularly likes the idea of emotional or physical vulnerability either. regardless, what i would love to imagine is that eventually, SOMEHOW, they do, and that their relationship is... actually so easy. this is most likely just me projecting, but i like to think of vox as just wanted alastor as an actual partner, not a fuck buddy (his "relationship" with valentino is a coping mechanism for his anxiety and confusion and doesnt necessarily reflect on how he would be with alastor, someone i like to think he actually appreciates as a person). vox is a complete lovesick FOOL.

this is so long already so im sticking some extra spicy headcanons below the cut!

if their relationship ever edged (hah) into sexual territory, i actually think it could work, but it definitely wouldnt be vanilla (absolutely zero penetration in this relationship). i think a fair amount of voyerism, dom/sub play, and hypnotism is involved — vox obviously has his hypnotic stare, and i like to personally headcanon that alastor can hypnotise people with his voice. like... idk, alastor i feel like would get a lot of enjoyment (sexual or not) out of toying with people and seeing them squirm, and vox would respond really well to some level of praise + orgasm denial.

for me i can imagine alastor ranging from completely sex-repulsed and having no libido at all, to being appreciative enough of the sensation but disliking the vulnerability and general grossness of bodily fluids that comes (ha-ha) with it. i think vox wouldnt care either way — as long as he gets to have alastor, hes beyond thrilled.

i LOVE thinking about the potential for predator/prey dynamics too. i like to headcanon that alastor actually has to spend a lot of energy fighting off his very annoying prey instincts on the daily and maintaining a mask of indifference. deer/elk iirc are naturally very skittish — alastors hearing is terribly accute and a lot of the time hell ends up being too LOUD for him. his ears are a huge indicator of his emotions so he has to force them to be still so no-one knows how hes feeling. compared to this, despite not being an actual shark, vox has a lot of shark themes, and his obsession with alastor may be in part due to having the desire to "hunt" him and eat him (not that he actually would — the most he would do would probably be to chew/drool on him a little bit). in point of fact, i think is he ever let this desire slip, alastor, being a maybe-cannibal, would probably be find it to be weirdly flattering — after all, some say consumption is the highest form of devotion.

tying back into the hypnotism thing — alastor generally avoids looks vox directly in the eye, both because of the hypnotism thing and also because his face is literally one big bright light ("deer in the headlights"), but in a more sexually-driven situation i think hed actually find it oddly comforting because it dampens his prey instincts for a little while, and (eventually) he trusts that vox isnt going to embarrass him or make him look the fool. vox lovingly coaxes him through orgasm and takes care of all of the gross stuff before alastor even has a chance to be fully coherent.

[viperwhispered]

I'm sorry this has been brewing in my head for a while and I need to share it with someone: Jamil and Kalim teaming up to topple to classist society of the scalding sands.

Post-OB Jamil and Kalim actually reconciling and having some character development. Kalim breaking down realizing that his coping mechanism of obliviousness did more harm than good. Jamil actually missing his friend. Both realizing that the problem isn't just their own flaws, but the adults around them. Jamil working on letting himself go while Kalim works to become more independant (he clearly has the skill + learning capacity, he's just been so babied he never learnt). Also, adorable scenario where Kalim and Malleus become besties over their shared quest for independence. Based on this, this, this, and this.

Kalim and Jamil's relationship becoming more genuine. Honestly, I believe that Kalim will end up sooooo sassy cause of Jamil's infleunce. Jamil using his sharp tongue and Kalim trying to do comebacks. Jamil just responds by giving a rating out of 10. Jamil finally getting the personal time he so desperately needed while Kalim slowly learns to genuinely trust others with his problems. Kalim finally letting himself get genuinely angry at his parents for how they managed to ruin both his and Jamil's lives by trapping them in a codependant cycle.

Kalim getting into his first fist fight with some classist prick and Jamil's response is asking if he won.

Kalim saying something very stupid and Jamil just giving a glare and it goes like this.

Third year rolls around and the two successfully schemed to give Jamil his rightful title of dorm leader without the nobles of the Scalding Sands rioting. I don't know how yet but I know it'll involve Kalim maxing out his "innocent puppy who just wants to do what's right" to indirectly shame his father for bribing Kalim's way into power. Nothing really changes much other than the fact that Scarabia is now running much more smoothly while still having the best parties. Based on this, this, and this.

They graduate and Kalim instantly gives Jamil the go ahead to be free. It all happens so fast that none has time to protest. Jamil spends a good two years traveling while Kalim does his best to learn the ropes as being head of the family. Based on this and this. Kalim successfully setting up a trade deal with Malleus and helping to open up Briar Valley to modernization. Jamil making a name for himself by taking part in multiple projects as he travels (archeological sites, restoration projects, reformation movements, etc).

The two reuniting when they're both called to work with Leona for his relief project in the slums of the savanna as part of his political reformation of the monarchy. Jamil helping to oragnize + plan the logistics while Kalim provides funding + trade opportunities. By the end of it, the slums have turned into a major tourist stop in the middle of a major trade route (sorry for the side quest, I have a thing for Leona keeping his promise to Ruggie).

Extra context: the position of grand vizier is traditionally given to relatives of the family head, like a brother or cousin. Ever since Jamil left, the position was taken by one of Kalim's distant relatives. This guy absolutely sucks at his job, is a classist ass, and clearly only had superficial training. Its clear he only got the title cause of his relation to Kalim and never expected to do much work. Kalim having to fix this guy's messes for years and being like "oh god is this what Jamil had to go through with me?".

Back to the story, Kalim spent years kneecaping the nobility with relative success and now has the ideal circumstances for an ideological revolution. But for this, he needs Jamil. So he invites Jamil, now famous worldwide for his sills & contributions, to come back for the fireworks festival. There, in front of all the major noble families (plus a few ex-classmates like Vil, Leona, Azul, and Malleus who're there for support), Kalim begins to berate his vizier and expose him for his incompetance and blunders, ultimately dismissing him. Then he turns to Jamil, gets on his knees, and begs that he take the position because he's the most competant person in the room. Jamil revels in the ego boost that is Kalim kneeling and agrees so long as he can negotiate his contract.

The two then go on a relentless campaign to topple the classist bullshit nobility and give equal rights to everybody.

Which brings me to the x reader romance scenarios (lets say thry discovered a way to travel to & from the reader's world):

Jamil marrying and taking his S/O's last name for an "official excuse" to give him his freedom. The Vipers may be endentured servants to the Asims but the L/Ns have no such obligation. During his travels, Jamil switching between staying in a shabby hotel and spending the night at his in-laws. His S/O being his rock and offering boundless support and patience. When Jamil finally gets the title of grand Vizier, he rejoices at the thought of finally spoiling his S/O like they deserve.

Kalim marrying an S/O who is both a sweetheart but also a maverick unafraid to do the dirty work. One who makes kneecaping the nobility a whole lot easier and puts an end to 90% of all assassination attempts. Kalim having absolute trust in his S/O and their methods. Kalim being relieved that any children they have will also go to school in his S/O's world where they'll be safe and able to live somewhat normal lives. Kalim being determined to reform society so their children can live without fear or hatred.

This took me a little while to get to since I wanted to give all of this a proper thought, but here we are.

Ngl, as a sucker for happy endings it is lovely thinking of how things could work out.

Honestly, just for Jamil and Kalim to open up more to each other would take quite a bit of work. I mean, years of habits to unlearn and years of baggage to navigate through. I really wish they would, though - and not just when one of them is overblotting. Plenty of learning for Kalim to figure out how to face the things he’s been shielded from, and for Jamil to express the things he’s been bottling up.

Oh but that thought of Kalim “sassing up” because of Jamil is so amusing tho. Him trying to emulate Jamil, which would just get Jamil even more frustrated - is Kalim even going to take this from him now? Or Jamil would just be amused at the attempt, one or the other. But if they could actually get more on the same wavelength about it, that could indeed make for some real fun scenarios.

As for Kalim’s parents… Yeah don’t even get me started on that one.

For Jamil becoming the housewarden… Yeah that first pic kinda sums it up, doesn’t it?

Which makes me wonder: how much does Jamil want the power, and how much does he just want the recognition? Now my memories of book 4 may be a little fuzzy at this point, but iirc the primary motivation was to eject Kalim - to get back the blissful solace of those first few months in NRC without Kalim there. So I do feel like just being allowed to "flourish" and show off his skills and capabilities would be some balm for the wounds in his soul, so to speak.

But also, considering Kalim was able to transfer schools just because of Jamil, pretty much, I’m sure if it’s up to him he’d be well able to give dorm leadership to Jamil without too much fuss. Like, I wouldn’t be surprised if he got the position more because of a “only the best for my boy” attitude from his dad - or maybe it was supposed to be training for his future responsibilities as the head of the house.

In any case, I would assume the family wouldn’t be super upset if Kalim is the one deciding that actually, Jamil should lead. Like, it certainly goes over much smoother if Kalim instigates it and hands the position over, rather than Jamil rising up against him (because how could a servant possibly oppose his master, how dare). Tho it would certainly still raise some eyebrows, I’m sure.

(But like, while Kalim presumably has had to deal with his own brand of neglect / not so helpful upbringing, he still seems to be the sort of a golden boy who’s used to getting his whims, so.)

For Jamil being freed - to my understanding they would need to figure out a way to do it without it bringing shame / consequences to Jamil’s family (at least, based on how jp talked about these things). Like, Kalim would need to be “powerful” enough in his family to be able to shield / protect Jamil’s family from those consequences.

(As a sidenote, I do wonder how Jamil’s family would feel like being offered freedom from servitude / a different position. Are they under as intense pressure as Jamil, with their own roles? I mean, obviously it would be difficult for them to be let go without having a way to make ends meet, but I do wonder if they’re simply happy & proud of their positions or if they feel anything similar to what Jamil does.)

At some point I also made a post thinking that even if Kalim might not be able to dismiss Jamil outright (once they both come to an agreement about this being a thing they should do), maybe Kalim could still make up reasons to send Jamil out to travel. A halfway point to true freedom, and hey, at least Jamil would get to enjoy spending some Asim money for himself.

Ngl tho, I’m all for a bit of an upheaval of the social order in the Scalding Sands. Really don’t know how one could even go about making it happen - such change is slow, would paint an even bigger target on Kalim’s back, and would make for some very powerful enemies. Slow process more than a revolution.

Though, decent labor laws and prohibition for child labor sure would be a good start, considering what Jamil went through.

Jamil would absolutely get an ego boost from that situation indeed of Kalim asking for Jamil's help, but I do wonder if he really would want to tie himself to the Asims / Kalim again. Interesting to ponder just what would have to change for that to happen.

But the allure of power might indeed be enough. Now, how interested Jamil would be to effect change at large, and how much he's concerned about his own personal position... I mean, we've seen him very willing to use others, and his experiences (for a reason) have left him in a mindset that probably means seeing power equaling freedom and also as viewing the world as haves and have-nots. So he'd definitely need to start having more concern for others (and not just the people he cares about, like his family) to really be genuinely interested and helpful to the cause.

I’ve never really considered / seen a concept of the twst guys living in a different world than their s/o but still regularly traveling to see each other, that’s interesting 👀 I do love the idea of Kalim with a fierce protective s/o tho.

Ngl, there was a lot to chew over here, but interesting thoughts about the potential futures. I also have to admit that I’ve put much less thought into understanding Kalim than I’ve put to Jamil, so I’m very much open to rebuttals about any of my interpretations about him.

It really is a shame that so far, books 5 and 6 only gave us glimpses of change with these two. Like Jamil being a little bit more willing to let Kalim actually do things or help. I know, I know, it can't possibly happen overnight, but pls, give us something to see if and how things are changing - or if we're just stuck in a new, precarious status quo.

Also I don't know if you've been making posts in your blog developing these ideas but like you definitely should, if you've got this much of a concept. I'm sure others would be interested too.

ETA: forgot to say, but I think for societal change, Kalim certainly would have the funds for lobbying and charitable work. And he does have his own kind of charisma to keep that sort of stuff together, too.

Also for the kids with our world s/o... That certainly would make inheritance and things interesting in the future. Sure, if Kalim has his as you outlined, there would not be so much of a position as the family head to inherit, but still.

Not to even mention the whole literally growing up between two different worlds.