#and a huge percentage of the time they’re like. fine! they’re not even good just FINE. like I am OBJECTIVELY better than them in many cases-

[pissfizz]

.

[smugraccoon137]

Supergirl Season 1 Episode 2 Review and Thoughts

*Bluey Voice* This episode is called “Let's all make Kara Cry”

Kara: Is this because I'm a-

J’onn: Woman?

Kara: I was gonna say Alien

Yes this is how painful it is every time the writers try being “allies”

*The news anchor talking about Supergirl being a fuck up*

Me: IS that The word with PERDD?????

I do love Kara flashbacks actually aiding her knowledge of aliens on earth

Slightly uncomfortable with how much kryptonite the DEO has just on hand. Also regardless of the dilution/percentage used wouldn’t the rock still like make Kara super ill and in pain??

Yes, let's take the girl who's never been in a fight before and just kick her ass instead of teaching her. Because that’ll make her learn faster?? Instead of just making her feel stupid and isolated. OH but its fine because they weren’t trying to teach her anything other than she sucks at fighting and needs to be careful. Mission accomplished!

This writing is lazy for having 45 mins to achieve something. Especially when it’s obvious Alex didn’t want to tackle it that way. And apologized for it anyways like 20 mins later.

I understand conflict resolution. What I can’t forgive is just writing characters however is convenient to your episodic plot

Wow episode two is all about lets make Kara fucking cry huh? Thats it thats the title of this review

Okay so Cat Grant’s speech was actually really good. I’d say probably one of the best parts of the episode actually

Like it bit. It was painful to hear and to watch Kara hear. But it was actually informative and motivating. And more helpful than anyone else has been so far to Kara’s journey. Alex has mostly been unsupportive, making Kara feel bad about the whole thing, and trying to push her back into normalcy. Winn and James have been supportive for sure helping her with the costume, talking her feelings out, and even helping her find crimes to handle. But no one has given her any advice. I’m looking at you Clark. No one has jumped in to say “Hey you know what would be a good idea? Or what you should do?” She’s been very isolated in her decision making. Which I dunno, maybe thats just normal adulthood. But it certainly feels lonely.

I like that Ms.Grant is Kara’s irritable fairy godmother/voice of reason character. It’s actually interesting because it contrasts Kara’s sunshine nature so hard. You expect Ms.Grant to put her down or to try to diminish her ambitions. But on some level you can see the genuine care she has for her assistant. And how she does uplift her and give her advice quite often. So far she’s one of the only people to put something into Kara not take away.

Gotta love Winn and James meeting in the alley and treating each other like an awkward hook up you’d rather not talk to right now

Not a huge fan of Kara's only friends both being dudes who are into her and are probably going to end up competing with each other. I’d really love for the girl to just have some regular friends who care about her and don’t want anything in return.

Which kind of adds to my thoughts on the writer's attempts at being feminist allies. Why spend all that time writing bad “is it because I’m a girl” one liners when you’re just going to make her just a girl anyways. Why try so hard to be like “We’re doing it! We’re writing a show about Supergirl a woman!!!” When you’re going to take the only two friends she has and make them romantically interested in her just because they’re both men?

It’s eye rolling

I appreciate the boys tag teaming to help her though

Not bicurious Winn lol

“I ahhhh helped make that outfit” Looking into James eyes with like 3 inches between them

“I got some mad sewing skills” awkward flirting noted

Ohhhh more super hero montages to hit me with your best shot!

I love all the classic crimes from bank robbery to car chase to rescuing a pet from a tree

Autism headcanon is holding up

Baby Kara scared of the popcorn maker. Thats audio sensitivity bitchhh

Can we talk about the fact that the DEO has government possession of the craft that got Kara here? And like how weirdly invading that is. Clarks ship had message crystals in his. Information and wisdom to help him on Earth. It was the first contact he really had with his heritage.

For Kara it's like the last thing her family gave her. I mean Alex brought that message from her mother in ep 1, where do you think she got it? Karas ship obviously

Like you don’t think Kara would have loved to here that message like 10 fucking years ago? Would have loved to hear her mothers voice again 10 years ago? Would have cried herself asleep with at least evidence of her home.

The fact that the DEO just confiscated her shit and hasn’t even relinquished it back to her as an adult is sickening to me.

Gotta love the government “shoot it shoot it now with lots of guns” that'll get that alien done in just fine

I really love this common ground between Kara and James about being in Clark’s shadow. That's a really good place to start for their relationship, and I’m curious to see them relate more over it

“Growing up, I was taught that to accept help from people is not a shame, it’s an honor” - Kara 

I have a feeling this is something that will be ignored or something she will struggle with in the future

AHHH “El Meyarah” Stronger Together

Okay I get it. Shes different from Clark. She wants super friends. I gotcha I gotcha

Not Kara educating James on Krypton when Clark don't know shitttttt

Alex dont fucking reveal you know shit holy fuck dude thats like first rule of secret ops. Bitch really just started running her mouth immediately 

I love this idea of Twins being rare on Krypton because of the matrix. Why would it make a copy when it already made what it needed?

Fight scene between Kara and her Aunt was good, but that was some bullshit about Kara actually learning from Alex and their “training” session earlier in the episode. You can’t act like she learned something when no one taught her anything!

I don’t like how quick to adapt Kara is about the whole Aunt Astra thing. That's a pretty big deal wtf

Alex: My parents had me prepared to deal with you being really sad and fucked up because your whole planet got destroyed. But then you were like super happy and not sad at all! You’ve always been like that tee hee

Sounds like Kara was really good at hiding all her sadness as a kid dude. Big oof

I like that Alex and Kara are going to work on defense stuff in the future and it's a mutual decision

I just realized that Clark never took Kara to the Fortress of Solitude  >:[

Love Alex introducing Kara to her Living Memory mother. But fuck this is torturesome. Again Clark has his crystal ai Dad. But it's like that's obviously not his father, that's not Jonathan. Jor-El is there to help him learn about Krypton. To understand the history, ability, and nature of his people. A people he doesn’t know. Jor-El isn’t a parent he goes to for comfort or advice. He’s an informant, a wise man.

For Kara that living memory is like a reminder. A reminder of everything she's lost. Of something that she will never have again. It's almost cruel. To come to it seeking guidance and affection, and not being able to receive that. Only information and calculations. 

You may say “But her foster parents! Her sister!” I’m not saying they aren’t her family, but if you’ve never had your family taken from you in some way, you won’t understand that it's just not the same. 

That's totally general Zod isnt it

Gotta love Kara picking Cat Grant's car up for her interview

[acnhretreat]

i hear/see so many people say they never dive for sea critters which is so wild to me because that’s how i paid off like all of my loans 😂 i noticed early on that the least expensive sea critter sold for more than a lot of the bugs and fish that would regularly spawn around my island, plus i was playing the game when spider crabs were in season and those babies sell for 12,000 each, and most the sea critters sell for decent prices all things considered.

i would swim around for hours lol. i became so good at diving and catching critters lol i feel like an expert

i maybe could have paid my loans off quicker had i gone a different route, i can’t remember if i was time traveling at the time or not but to me that became a satisfying and sure way to make tons of bells. if i had paid attention to the fact that the drop box takes a percentage of your bells i would have paid it even faster but i feel like it didn’t take me very long honestly. and was soooo satisfying every time i caught a spider crab cuz they’re so freakin huge. i kind of got hooked on looking for and catching them lol

that’s the next part of my critterpedia to be finished. i think i have to fine 3 more sea critters. so far i only have the fossils done. and i’m getting pretty close with the bugs and fish honestly

and i’ve just been playing the game causally. my main focus is decorating with some normal gameplay in between. i think i’m gonna start focusing on the critterpedia when i’m bored. damn i’m really at that point

what i kind of love though is there’s stil sooo many DIY’s i need to collect plus art plus items and clothing especially clothing i need to catalogue and kk songs and yeah. there’s still plenty to do thank goodness cuz i wanna play animal crossing forever

[cavefilllingcorporation]

The Board's first recorded meeting

CEO: Are we recording. Good. Alright, let’s do a head count, just to see who is here…

The Dimension Master: No need for a slow headcount boss, everybody is here. Well, everybody except for… HIM, but that’s not a bad thing, is it?

CEO: No, it is not. Well then ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first in-person board meeting that will be recorded for our investors.

The Admiral: This better be worth it. I had to leave my ship to be here.

CEO: We have a lot to discuss, much of which will be behind closed doors, but we should probably preface the meeting with a bunch of smaller issues that the investors will be privy to. The big stuff, rather than all of the small budgeting issues we have to sort out.

A slight pause

CEO: Alright, first on the list, the supervisor from the Default Project forwarded this to us. She is requesting that the weapons shop, the church, and the mayor’s office be kept.

The Extrovert: And why would we do that again? I mean, we are going to destroy everything, right?

CEO: Well, the church has had frequent use as some of the workers are picking up the world’s religion-

The Dimension Master: Bad idea. They aren’t actually deities, but whatever.

CEO: …Yes, we know. Anyways, they are using it regardless, and the supervisor is making her office in the mayor’s home. She’s also using a nearby weapon shop as an armory “Just in Case.”

The General: Shouldn’t we investigate that armory situation?

The Supreme Supervisor: I already did. She’s fine.

CEO: Well, that was the only concern I had. I think that otherwise this is a reasonable request.

Discussion and approval noises

The Extrovert: Well, it’s going to be destroyed eventually, so I guess that’s fine.

The General: Wait… if they are asking about those buildings. They’re close to finishing the Capital city, aren’t they?

CEO: Well, I’m not going to spoil things for our investors, but let’s just say we can expect an update in the coming weeks.

The Extrovert: Finally! We’ve been working on that forever, and now we actually get to see some progress!

The Admiral: I refuse to believe it. We’re seriously seeing progress now? It’d better be good.

The Dimension Master: Unfortunately, it’s not going to be huge progress, even though we’ve been working for months on this. That’s what happens when the only way to keep track of progress is borked out of our minds! That being said, with the uneven way we’re keeping progress, I’m sure we’ll catch up sooner than later!

The Extrovert: Speaking of progress, wasn’t the percentage progress for C8H called into question?

The Supreme Supervisor: That’s been handled, and it’s fine. May be a little skewed like Default’s, but that was to be expected anyways. I think that our Founders would like to discuss this off-recording, right?

The Dimension Master: Righty-O! At least the details, I’m sure. Anyways, let’s get back onto the next topic! Take it away boss!

CEO: Actually, we’ll be discussing the reason for that scare at the end of the recording. The percentage details will be private though. But for now, we should move on.

Papers are stacked and hit on desk.

CEO: Next, we should discuss some budget cuts. I know we’re going to talk about most of them privately, but there is one the investors should be aware of.

The Admiral: Is it the Robotics program.

CEO: Sighs, Yes, it is the Robotics Program.

The Admiral: Finally! We’re finished with that waste of time! Seriously, tech pillaged from Super Earth is better than the junk coming from there.

The Grand Director: I mean, those designs came from us, not from [The Tinkerer].

The Admiral: Yeah, doesn’t make them any less useless, especially when they are designed by an idiot. Screw that, a bunch of idiots. Who drinks and decides going to the lab is a good idea?

CEO: Your opinion is noted [The Admiral]. However, that’s not the reason why we have to consider shutting this down. The majority of the useful robotics were not only designed for the Maintenance Hanger, but they are also not really ready yet. The problem is that they are taking too long. When we had the designs in mind, we thought that the robotics would be easy to design, and the entire set would be complete within a month. That is clearly not the case.

The Admiral: What, you seriously thought that [The Tinkerer] could produce two dozen robots that fast?

CEO: Yes, that is what he promised. Clearly, we underestimated his and his team’s abilities, and with things as tense as they are, we can’t afford to be wasting funding on useless things.

The Scientist: Hang on, didn’t we already talk about just a reduced load recently? And now we’re just going to cancel everything?

CEO: All of the robots that were left were going to be sold to help pay for ship production. But at this rate, it’s better to redirect the money to other ventures and get more profit to pay for the ships that way.

The Scientist: Can we at least wait a little longer? [The Tinkerer] is currently working on some experimental modifications, with some sort of “grand surprise.” Surely, we can let him work on that?

The Grand Director: I thought he was working on this surprise for a week now?

The Scientist: In his defense, he was waiting on an electronics shipment that came in yesterday. He should be working on it now. He’s even calling it a magnus opus.

The Admiral: It better not be like the last “magnus opus” he had. I still think that ball-bearing powered computer is a complete waste of space.

CEO: Alright, we’ll wait, but no more than two weeks. Now, onto the next topic, new technology. Specifically, a new satellite system.

The Admiral: You mean modifications to the Crates in order to turn them into part-time satellites.

CEO: Yes, essentially the same thing. We’re hoping that the mapping systems that are created from this will benefit everyone.

The Supreme Supervisor: It won’t unfortunately. Even if the satellite system manages to break into MazeRun’s magic shielding, if the terrorists there get wind of the systems, it will only rally their cause. We’ve had threats regarding the subject. Still, it should improve other things, such as the Default project, the Shattered Isles, and more.

The Extrovert: I’m just surprised that the investors didn’t hear of this sooner via a post.

CEO: We didn’t have any room to inform them before. This is experimental technology anyways. Once we have proven that it is effective, we’ll deploy it Corporation-wide and demonstrate it to the investors. {Real reason: Schedule’s full, and too many stories to tell to squeeze that in there! Sorry!}

There is a silence for half a minute, before the CEO stacks some papers.

CEO: Anyways, now to get to that point about C8H having some issues. This is mostly due to a major deal that went through. As you know, we are limited to a certain area on that planet. However, after some arrangements, we have tripled the size of our working area.

The Introvert: Are you sure that’s a good idea? What about the Cave Fillers? They’ll have to deal with caves that were outside of the impact zone. Those won’t be fun to fill.

CEO: I’m sure they will be fine. Worst case scenario, we wait until we get more stone from a project being complete to fill caves with. With a cloudhouse being used to store the stone until the Inferno Project is finished, they’ll have plenty of stone to use anyways.

The Dimension Master: Alright, we’re done with the boring news. Now get to the good stuff!

CEO: Alright, alright. Well, our financial people decided to go ahead and run a theoretical estimate of how much the Solar Isles will produce in terms of goods. And… it’s a lot.

The General: Like… how much?

CEO: Enough to buy approximately… 90 dragon eggs.

The room erupts into noises of confusion and wonder.

The Extrovert: 90 Eggs? That’s the most profitable venture we’ve had since… ever!

The General: Well then, glad my boys could be such use to you. Wish you could do something similar, ey [The Admiral]?

The Admiral: You collected stuff once, I routinely sell stuff, it’s not a competition! (It should be noted that these words were spit out with venom)

The Introvert: I had my worries with this bonus operation but… I can’t deny the results.

The Supreme Director: They’re not workers anyways, so it just works out perfectly! I say we go ahead and do this for all of our Hero League missions!

The Introvert: I don’t know… we’d have to put that in the terms and conditions of our contracts, and who would agree to their valuables being taxed?

The General: These operations aren’t common; I can’t see that reducing our operations that fast! Besides, we only do them when we want to add another project to our list. Otherwise, it’s a side project!

CEO: Alright, all in favor of making the looting operation the new standard?

Sounds of the general audience agreeing, with nobody saying no.

The General: And we’re still all in for Round 2 with dimension warping, right?

CEO: Yes, once the Anti-Project Plan is finished. That was never in doubt.

The General: Good.

CEO: Alright, I believe that concludes the recorded section of the meeting. However, for the investors who are listening, don’t worry about missing the rest. This involves precise budget discussion, list of potential buyers for our products, and so on. If something here comes up that is your concern, we will let you know. With that, thank you for listening to our meeting, and we hope that you have had a wonderful time! Please give us your input for what direction the company should take if you have one. See you later!

The Admiral: This probably could have been an email. Just saying.

[joshuaalbert]

it’s like. I don’t think this was the intent. i genuinely just think it was a byproduct of production schedules, and also of journey’s end’s basically unrelated b plot resulting in a limited amount of time to address basically anything to the point where some people seemingly do not even grasp that wesley is just straight up clinically depressed. but as a result jaxa’s death ends up being this unspoken thing especially between wesley and picard, who sent her on the mission, and wesley and his mother, who had less involvement but was still one of the last people to see her alive.

and in some ways that makes sense! picard is not good at talking to wesley until they’re in life or death situations, and although this…kind of is, picard either does not grasp that or does not know how to address it. wesley and his mom often kind of don’t talk about difficult things despite ostensibly being close, and it seems like she often opts to give him space to deal with things instead of pushing him to talk about him, either because she’s worried about pushing him away or because neither of them really know how. and it’s also just a complicated thing to address because it requires bringing up the trial, it requires bringing up josh’s death, it requires navigating the fact that wesley and jaxa were no longer friends after the trial despite being presumably hugely important people in each other’s lives before that, so it’s a hard conversation for anyone to start, especially with someone who seems unhappy to speak to anyone. it ends up being this really good case study about how no one really knows how to talk to wesley in a way that actually gets anywhere about the things that have traumatized him. BUT like. let’s be real. is the average viewer going to put any of that together. especially the average viewer watching this in 1994 who has not seen the first duty since it aired two years ago and is operating off a vague memory and the information mentioned in lower decks, which doesn’t really get at the degree of that bond, just that they were both in the squadron crash. wesley is probably 22 in this episode and two of the four people he was once close enough to to consider betraying his ethics for are dead. one was expelled, and we can probably extrapolate from pre-voy tom paris how well nick is taking it. he’s one of two left from this group that was supposed to represent starfleet’s best, and between that and his father (and even tasha, who he wasn’t necessarily particularly close with but was still someone important to him who died abruptly when he was 16), no fucking wonder he’s disillusioned. this is what working hard and believing in the people around you gets you. even if most of the enterprise crew he grew up around is fine, and even if that’s a significantly higher number, when so many of the people who die are the ones close to you, you’re obviously going to feel like that number is higher. maybe his perspective is skewed, but how could it not feel that way? why put his whole life into something he no longer has passion for when this is what succeeding at it gets you?

so yes, jaxa’s death is a reasonable catalyst for all of that even if they were no longer close, but the fact that it’s never mentioned means most of the audience may not even make that connection. his character is going to lose coherence to some percentage of people because they reasonably aren’t keeping count of these things, they aren’t putting this together, especially given that tng’s still largely episodic so you don’t expect to have to keep track the same way. it’s at this weird intersection of “not speaking about it isn’t entirely out of character for the people involved” and “it does a massive disservice to the internal logic of wesley’s character,” but the latter feels far more important in a way that really makes me wish things had gone differently and that reference to lower decks could be included.

like i have to guess that lower decks and journey’s end only being 5 episodes apart and not focusing on the same characters means they were probably being written largely concurrently and without communication about the connections, and ik this arc is kind of surprisingly serialized in way that’s not quite compatible with tng’s general methodology, but i am having the type of evening where the lack of explicit continuity between the two is beating my ass

[telewaywashere]

My take on the Amazon RoP series

I wanted to like this show. I really did, but there’s just some things that aren’t worth supporting after a certain point. First? The VF article. They straight up call fans “trolls” for wanting a faithful adaptation. That is one of the dumbest business angles you can do with well beloved huge things like Hobbit/LotR/Silm. There’s millions of people all around the world of all walks of life who love this, and you go and call them “trolls”? Yeah. Not good. Yes, there’s a certain percentage (although small) that have an issue with race. Most of the fans however do NOT. No. We want to know why a dwarven female has thin, wispy sideburns instead of a glorious beard. We want to know why most, if not all the male elves, have short, modern hairdos. They can’t even do canon characters right. Galadriel with a sword and armor? This is a downgrade while trying to make her “badass”. She was so powerful, she could go on the battlefield without all that. Also the eight-point star on her armor? I can see why people are asking “Why is she wearing a Feanorian star??” I’m honestly just as concerned. Elrond’s “politically ambitious“? Excuse me? And with that hairdo? I am very afraid they’re going to turn him into Trump or something close enough. Then there’s the elf identified as Finrod recently. Please no. That elf was so freaking awesome, he challenged Sauron to a singing match. If you’ve read the books, or have done a quick google search (which is more research then the people at Amazon have done), you’ll see why people are freaking exploding at this. “But why are people so fussy about elf hair?” Simple. It made them stand out in the PJ films from the men. Give them short, modern haircuts, and it’s hard to tell them apart from humans. Also when you have to lift an elf’s hair to see if they have pointy ears or not (as seen in the trailer), you’re doing elves (especially Galadriel) wrong. She should be noticeable from a long distance away. Not up close.  ”But why are people so fussy about a female dwarf having a beard?” Again, simple. Right in the books, it basically says that dwarves of both genders have facial hair from the time of birth. And since this is supposed to be a princess, I expect her to have a better beard then the average dwarf, with metal, jewels, and other fine riches all braided in. Not this poor excuse of facial hair (where you have to alter the picture just to see that it’s there to begin with). And the family OCs...Why the hell does Isildur suddenly have a sister? What purpose could she possibly serve? Why does Galadriel suddenly have another brother named Adar (elvish for “Father” by the way)? Something tells me they’re not going to explain any of this and bitch the instant those of use who even know a tiny bit of the lore ask for their reasons. Just watch. They’re going do double down calling everyone “trolls” and other insults just because we want to know WHY. The way I see it, this is a dumpster fire that will continue to burn.

[djarrex]

Countermeasures || 3

Anomaly

Fives x ofc!reader

<- previous chapter | next chapter ->

| main masterlist | series masterlist | read on ao3 |

Rating: 18+ only

Word Count: 5.7k

chapter summary: Agreeing to help Fives proves to be both good and bad.

warnings: canon character death, a sprinkle of fluff (Fives can be soft but we all know he’s quite the opposite in the right contexts 😉), a dash of sexual tension, a dollop of groping, tons of inappropriate thoughts - lordy lord get some cold water splashed on them

note: I broke away from including Fives’ POV in this chapter. It may come back in the future, idk yet. This is the first real series I’ve written and I’m extremely grateful for the pals I’ve met on here who reblog and like my work <3 Tbh I’m having a ton of fun writing this because not only does it give me an excuse to watch the conspiracy arc a bunch of times for the details but I also get to write about Renna and Fives and I love them both and I just want them to fuck already.

***

This was crazy. How did you of all people end up in a situation such as this.

By “this”, you were referring to the strong embrace you were trapped in - the ARC trooper you’re shamefully crushing on being the captor.

No, you definitely were not complaining. 

After agreeing to help him, Fives you pulled into his body, his strong arms finding their way around your back holding you steady. Large palms nearly covered the expanse of your back, the heat from his skin burning holes right through your outer layers and into your flesh. Your face was practically smushed into his broad chest, your arms dangling awkwardly at your sides. The weight of Fives’ chin was pressing into your scalp. So many thoughts were swimming in your head as Fives held you as tight as he could without hurting you. 

He was... hugging you. To be completely honest, you thought the two of you would fuck - or at least do something along those lines - before he hugged you. It was the energy he possessed that led you to that conclusion, but you were proven wrong. 

You didn’t fight it - you knew how much it meant to him. These clones - these soldiers - were covered in plastoid from head to toe all day every day throughout their unfortunately short lives, and you figured they must be at least somewhat touch-starved. The way Fives held you was different than you thought he was capable of. You weren’t naïve; you knew the clones took off their armor at certain points, and hey, you knew that they even would have sex in their short spurts of time off. You read reports on clones who had contracted STD’s from their adventurous endeavors and were sent here to be treated. Even though they were created in a lab for the sole purpose of fighting in this ridiculous war, they were still men.

You wanted to keep up some at least some semblance of professionalism - to not touch Fives back, because quite honestly your body wanted more - but your heart started aching, and your body acted against your brain as your arms returned the embrace. 

Fives was thick. The clones as a whole aren’t huge men; they aren’t fed nearly enough - that much you knew - and are relatively slim with a very low percentage of body fat compared to all the muscle they were designed to have. They’re not that much taller than you, either. However, you’ve never held a clone before. Fives’ back was like a bag of ropes; hard, thick, and you felt every single muscle so beautifully poking out of his skin even through the tunic. You allowed your hands to splay out over his back - to really feel him. You were completely lost in this moment, but you heard it - barely noticeable, but you heard it - Fives inhaled quietly through his nose, taking in your hair’s scent. You knew deep down that he didn’t mean for you to notice him smelling your hair, so you didn’t mention it. Butterflies flapped around in your stomach - then the butterflies quickly floated away and that feeling was exchanged with pure lust; the fire in your belly burning hot with desire. 

You don’t know how long you held each other, but you needed to break away from him and get back to the matters at hand. You agreed to help him, and that’s what you’ll do. Maybe he’ll be so thankful for your help he’ll “hug” you again later.

“You do you have a plan, right, mister ARC trooper?” Breaking away from his embrace, you tried to shake your mind clear of any thoughts that didn’t include Tup.

“Of course I have a plan!” Fives’ tone suggested he was attempting to play off what had just happened, and it was cute. He walked over to the darkened window and kept his back turned to you. Perhaps he was trying to clear his thoughts as well. You wouldn’t know, but Fives was barely breathing in through his nose so that your scent lingered in his nostrils for as long as possible.

“Care to share?” You called to him, and Fives paused for a few moments before responding.

“Are you able to access all the equipment without the supervision of the long-necks?” He finally turned around, his brows raised. You blinked at him, just a little dumbfounded and slightly offended.

“Yes, Fives. Maker, I know how to work the kriffing equipment. I don’t need a babysitter.” You rolled your eyes then squinted them at him, crossing your arms to your chest with a huff.

“That’s not what I meant,” Fives chuckled as he approached you once again and placed a hand on your shoulder. “I meant, are you going to get in trouble if you’re working alone in there?” His gaze bore into you, making you feel slightly uneasy. Yeah, you knew how to work everything, of course. But this was all new territory for you; working - unauthorized – on a patient who wasn’t yours, performing an atomic brain scan unsupervised, breaking protocol…

“I- I’m not actually sure. I’ve never been explicitly told to not touch anything without them being there? I think it will be okay. It’s just that- that Dr. Nala Se said no to the scan. I don’t think she’ll like that I went behind her back and did it anyway. Although… I want to try everything in my power to save your friend.”

“Right. Then let’s get to it.”

“I’m sorry - let’s? You’re coming too? That doesn’t seem like a good-”

“It’ll be fine,” Fives quickly interjected. His confident tone faded with the next part: “Please. I want to be there - be there for Tup.” There they were again, those puppy dog eyes that get you every time. You doubt Fives even knows he’s doing it, but he had to catch on by now because you basically have never said no to him in the few short days you’ve known him. Your attraction to him made you break over and over again; this time was no different.

“Okay, fine. But you need to stay hidden.”

“I’m ‘Mr. ARC Trooper’, remember? I’ve been trained in the arts of being sneaky.” Wiggling his fingers and brows at you with a cheeky grin, you laughed and punched him in the shoulder. His grin only grew.

“Yeah whatever. Just follow me.”

You were the first to exit Fives’ room, peeking your head just outside the door to get a feel of the surrounding area. No guards in sight at the moment, so now was the perfect time to go.

“Quickly,” you stepped outside the room, motioning with your hand for Fives to follow. It didn’t take long to get next door, of course.

You pressed the controls on the panel and the door whisked opened; you shooed Fives in first. As soon as he entered, two guards came around the corner. You obviously didn’t want to look like you were doing something you weren’t supposed to, so you put on your best smile and nodded to the oncoming troopers. They nodded back and turned at the next corridor that led away from Tup’s room.

You stood there for a moment, just outside the room - thinking. You were obviously crazy, no doubt about that. You were breaking protocol, and basically risking your internship and everything you had worked for up to this point for Fives (and Tup). It was the right thing to do, right? Your insane crush on the ARC trooper aside, you were going through with all of this because it was the right thing to do. It definitely wasn’t right that the Kaminoans wanted to kill Tup off without entertaining more options and trying other procedures. It all seemed very… weird. As doctors, wouldn’t they want to try every possible way to find a solution without skipping over it all and just killing him? Although, why waste more time and resources when the “obvious” solution was to terminate him and find the answers through an autopsy? Maybe you should give it more time – Shaak Ti could be back soon with the Jedi Council’s backing. Maybe it wasn’t too late to back out – to turn around and coax Fives back into his room before you were both caught.

The moment was over when Fives’ hand reached out to grab your wrist, unceremoniously pulling you into the room. You nearly tripped as he yanked you inside, a murmured “hey!” subconsciously rolled off your tongue at the rough pull.

“Sorry, Renna.” He shut the door behind you, giving you an apologetic smile. “Did- did I hurt you? Sometimes I forget my own strength... I’m not used to manhandling pretty and delicate things.” Okay, let’s push that comment aside and table it for later on when you’re alone in your quarters.

Fives reached out to examine your wrist but you flapped your hands at him, “Really, I’m okay. Seriously.” You weren’t lying - it didn’t hurt. If you told him the absolute truth, you would tell him how you wished he’d manhandle you in other ways.

“Alright. Let’s get to work.”

Knowing how quickly you had to work for this entire plan to play out smoothly, you immediately made your way over to the controls and started tapping away. You turned your head to check on Fives – to see how he was planning on participating – and he was just frozen in place standing over Tup’s cot. Tup was still unconscious; his chest rising and falling rapidly in his comatose, shut eyelids flickering back and forth.

“Fives, push him over there.” You pointed at the scanner on the other side of the room with your back still turned as you tapped away at the screens, prepping the equipment. With one last tap of the screen, the scanner descended from the ceiling and Fives pushed Tup’s cot into it.

Tup’s chest rose and fell at an alarming rate, compelling you to consider - again - about turning back and aborting this plan altogether.

Fives came around the other side of the scanner where you watched the infrared picture of Tup’s brain from display screen, snapping you out of the thought.

“The scan’s almost complete.”

Fives moved in front of you and leaned closer to the screen, you shuffled to the side to give him to space. Your eyes unglued from the screen for just a moment to watch Fives; he was desperate. The look in his eyes told you that much, and his stance wasn’t as strong and sure as it always seemed to default to.

Your focus made way back to the screen. “Everything… appears to be normal.” Just as you said that the screen starting beeping; a red dot was blinking, pinpointing an anomaly in Tup’s brain.

“W- wait a second.” You softly pushed Fives out of the way and read the results displayed on the screen.

“What? What is it, Ren?” Your heart skipped a beat at the sound of his little nickname for you, but there were more important things currently at hand. You can freak out about the way he says your name like that later.

“It looks like Tup has developed a tumor.” Your fingers started tapping away yet again. You’ve never seen a tumor in clones before. To be fair, you had never worked with clones like this before, but you’ve seen more than enough of their files to know that a tumor wasn’t exactly something that could just appear in a clone.

“A tumor? Is that even possible?”

“I’ve never seen anything like this in clones. Not in any of the files.” You ceased tapping, turning around to face Fives. His hand raked through his hair, a pure look of confusion and worry on his face.

“Then… what is it?”

“I honestly don’t know. I’ll need to do a biopsy to be sure.” With a nod, you offered a reassuring smile. “It’ll be okay, Fives. We’ll get this straightened out, and you and Tup will be off this stormy planet and back to your brothers in no time.” You weren’t sure you even believed your words.

“You’re gonna take it out of him?” Before you could answer, Fives whacked the tools all over the ground with one graceless hand movement. Your eyes widened as he bent down to grab at the mess. “Do you, uh, think anyone heard that?”

You raised your brow at him, and with a sarcastic tone, “The probability is high, yes.” You sighed. “You need to hide.”

Smacking his hands away as he continued to pick up the mess, you hissed, “Fives, hide.”

“I think it came from this room.” You both shot up; you ran over and pushed Tup out of the tube and started to power it down at the controls as Fives took cover under Tup’s floating cot. Interesting that an ARC Trooper chose that as a hiding place.

The door whisked opened. Nala Se stood at the entrance, looking around. Her bug-eyes landed right on you, then glanced over to Tup.

“Hello, Doctor.” Your tone was astonishingly calm despite the absolute terror currently running through your system.

“What do you think you’re doing?” She entered through the threshold and made her way over to Tup, assessing his condition with a scowl.

“I was only trying to save the patient,” You informed her, keeping your tone calm and professional. You were ignored, however. Apparently, Fives was not so great at cleaning up his messes, because one leftover syringe sat on the ground right below the Kaminoan’s heels. She reached down to grab it, and your heart started racing. You blurted out, “Doctor, I found something unusual in the scan. It appears to be a tumor… I think you should take a look-”

“You performed a second scan without my authorization?” Nala Se stood upright; the forgotten syringe grasped in her three slender fingers. How did she not see Fives down there? Uh oh… where did he go?

Your heart rate slowed. “Apologies, Doctor. I was only trying to-”

“Perhaps I made the mistake in assuming you’d be ready to work with the clones.” Nala Se turned around to shut off the remaining equipment; machines began powering off as they whirled back in place and Tup’s cot moved back to where it was before you started. One of the larger machines floated away, leaving Fives completely exposed. Ah, so that’s where he went. Your eyes widened as you looked between Fives’ shocked expression and Nala Se, who was still turned around and tapping at the controls. As much as you dreaded pressing further on, you needed to buy Fives enough time to make an escape back to his own room.

“But- but the tumor, Doctor. It seems to be blocking neuro-impulses from communicating with the brain. I think we should scan the rest of the clones to see if this is a problem with their base genetic model or a mutation with the current models.” The machines were all now back in place; you scanned the room with your eyes, hoping to not catch a glimpse of Fives.

“There is no tumor. Your scan is incorrect.” Nala Se departed the control panel, ambling over to the other side of the room. You really hope Fives had fled by now. Might as well keep on pressing, though. It did interest you that the Kaminoan doctor was so avidly trying to disregard what you were saying about a tumor. That was a thread you figured you should follow.

“But-”

“This clone clearly has a virus that remains undetected, but I will find the cause once he’s terminated.” You followed Nala Se until she reached Tup’s cot, her back turned to the exit. “Now leave. I’ll figure out what to do with you later.”

“Yes, Doctor.” You turned on your heels and walked out the already open door. You turned your head to watch Nala Se; she was still standing over Tup, but you were unsure of what she was doing. Something really didn’t seem right with this. You nearly crashed into Fives in the hall as you departed Tup’s room.

“I can’t believe they’re going to kill Tup!” Fives shouted in disbelief after you both had made your way back into his room and shut the door. Fives shoved the empty cot to the other side of the room, clearly frustrated.

“I know. I’m sorry, Fives.” All you could offer was a sincere apology. It didn’t seem like a great idea at present to bring up how you thought the entire ordeal with Nala Se seemed fishy.

“We were not created to be disposed of this way!” He slammed his fists on the cot, an action that seemed to be fueled by rage, but his eyes told a different story.

“Just- just think of it this way… Tup is sacrificing himself so that other clones like him can survive. Isn’t that something you said he’d want?” You went to reach for him - to offer a gentle reassuring touch - but he backed away.

“There aren’t others like him!” His raised voice prompted you to take a few steps back. You weren’t scared of him, but you understood they he may need some space right now. Maybe it would be best if you retreated to your quarters and called it a day. After all, Nala Se basically sealed your fate by undoubtedly reassigning you to the archives. It probably wasn’t appropriate that you been seen in Fives’ room anymore. Your own selfishness kept you there, though.

“I’m sorry, Ren. I don’t mean to take this out on you, I just-” You allowed yourself to take a few steps towards him. “Tup doesn’t have to die - you found a tumor. I’m sure that’s the cause of all this. It’s the only thing that makes sense.”

“But… how can we proceed? Dr. Nala Se basically reassigned me to the archives. I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to be here with you anymore. I could get dismissed, sure, but I have no idea what would happen to you.”

“Do the biopsy. I’m sure what you find will prove Tup doesn’t have to die. Your findings would bump you up in the ‘ranks’ I’m sure, and they would have no reason to send you back to filing paperwork.” A beat. “As for me… I’ll be fine.” You both knew that was a lie. You’ve seen what the Kaminoans have done to “defective” clones. It’s all in the files. It’s inhumane. There was no way you’d let that happen to Fives.

“I’m not so sure…. Dr. Nala Se doesn’t believe-”

“We’re not going to Nala Se with whatever you find. We’ll go to General Shaak Ti. She helped me once as a cadet and I know she values the life of a clone.” Now that, that was the truth.

“Fives… I’d be disobeying direct orders.” At this point, you didn’t care what happened to you if you were to go through with this. Fives was who you were concerned with. Not because of a hopeless crush, but because of his status of patient and you sincerely cared about him.

“Yep, and for the second time today,” He jested. Not funny. You scoffed. “Ren…” There they are, yet again - the puppy dog eyes. Those, paired with how he said your name. You’d break for sure. “Will you help me? Please.”

***

“Hurry!” Fives was hunched over the control panel with you, basically micromanaging you even though he had no idea what it was you were doing.

“Fives, you’re going to have to not rush me. I’m not a droid. Give me a kriffing minute.” Your fingers tapped frantically at the screen, hitting button after button until -

“Intruder alert. Intruder alert. All nonessential personnel report to a safe room for lockdown.”

You stood up straight and grinned over at Fives, who looked a little shocked.

“What did you do?” The alert played over again on the intercom.

“I made it so that the security scanners picked up an intruder in section C-6. We need to hurry, though. I doubt it’ll take them long before they realize it’s a false alarm.”

“They taught you how to hack a security mainframe at the fancy medical academy you attended on Coruscant?”

You rolled your eyes at him, hands on your hips. “Is that really important right now?” Fives chuckled and shook his head. Grabbing his wrist, you stretched your head to look outside the door. “They have guards stationed just outside. How are we going to get over there?” You turned towards Fives, who was pulling away from you and looking up at the ceiling. You followed his gaze, and you knew exactly what he was thinking. “The vents?” You sounded a little shocked, but it really was the only safe way out of there. He tilted his head down to look at you, a smile on his face. You snorted.

“Here, I’ll climb up first and then pull you up.” Your looked over at the door again, making sure you weren’t about to get absolutely busted, and grabbed his dangling hands.

You shook your head with a smirk. “You know, I’m starting to wish I had stayed in the archives,” you jested, as Fives hoisted you up and into the vent with him.

You never realized just how creepy it was up in these vents. To be fair, there wasn’t one moment that you would’ve pictured yourself crawling through them, but here you were. It was dark, every movement you made echoed, and it was freezing cold. You – for some reason – were leading the way, crawling through the cold durasteel tunnel. Fives was silent; he wasn’t making any comments, not cracking any jokes, not even expressing his concern for Tup. It dawned on you: he was totally checking out your ass. You had shed your long lab coat before he pulled you up, knowing that it would be harder to crawl with it tugging under your knees. Fives hadn’t yet seen you without it on… and you knew how good your ass looked in the leggings you wore. With a slight chuckle to yourself, you stopped crawling for a moment and looked over your shoulder to glance at him to the best of your ability.

“Fives, are you staring at my ass?” You tried to not let your giddiness get in the way of your accusatory whispering, but you found yourself muffling laughter. He didn’t reply right away – probably trying to think up a comeback or a way to wiggle himself out of the subject.

“Fuck yeah I am,” he murmured back, sounding as cocky as ever. You bit your lip and shook your head, resuming the crawl towards the oncoming exit vent. “I don’t exactly have anything else to look at from back here, you know. I got quite a nice view, so, no complaints.” Your face heated up at his smug comment, resisting the urge to shake your ass for him – to really give him a good view. Now was not the time.

You crawled past the vent so Fives could hop down first; he plopped onto the floor, graceful and stealthy as ever, before standing directly under the vent with his arms held out.

“Common, I’ll catch you.” It really wasn’t a long way down; you’d land just fine, though probably not as gracefully as he did.

“Uh, okay…” You lowered your legs out from the ceiling, keeping your grip on the cool metal for a moment while you steadied yourself. “Fives, I think I got it. I can just hop down like th-” Your grip from the ceiling slipped, sending you down and nearly hitting the floor in the worst way possible, when strong arms found their way under your ass and back.

Fives just saved you from breaking a bone or two, and all you could do was blink up at him as his hand slightly squeezed the plushy part of your ass, the other hand gripped tightly on your waist. Maybe he thought you wouldn’t notice the way he was savoring holding you like that, but you did. And you liked it.

“Nice to look at and feels nice, too.” Fives grinned at you before setting you down on your feet. He definitely shouldn’t be talking about how your ass looks and feels right now with his friend lying nearly dead on the cot barely an arm’s length away - but, is he was open to making comments such as those during these unsure times, you’d reciprocate. A boost of confidence surged through you.

“Glad you like it, trooper. Maybe some time you can see and feel it without these in the way,” you pulled at your leggings, looking him straight in the eyes with a smirk. Seeing Fives’ expression was well worth making the comment.

“Don’t say things you can’t follow up on, Renna.” His shocked expression quickly flipped to dark, catching you completely off guard and making you gulp. Your entire body felt as if it was on fire as tiny fireworks danced in your gut. There was absolutely no way you’d be able to follow up on your innuendo-filled comment unless you found each other in another life under different circumstances. You needed to shake it out of your system.

Firing up the laser drill, you looked over at Fives and studied his worried expression. He looked so soft, so concerned – it tugged at your heart harder than you cared to admit. His focus remained on Tup until the sound of the drill made him look up.

Your hands were slightly shaking. You felt it, but it didn’t appear to be noticeable. You had never performed a biopsy on a real, living, breathing lifeform before. Everything you had done during your schooling was on the deceased or on medical dummies. You were nervous, but this wasn’t about you. You finally had the chance to save a life. You needed to pull it together.

“Renna, are you okay?” Fives’ voice nearly came out as a whisper. You looked up at his eyes; he was studying you, deeply.  

You took a deep breath and nodded with a slow exhale. You turned your attention back to the drill, grabbing Tup’s head and positioning it to where you needed.

“You might want to look away at this part.”

***

You did it. A successful biopsy. Feeling a bead of sweat threatening to fall from your hairline, you wiped it away with your arm and looked up at Fives who still had his eyes squeezed shut.

“Is it done?” The absent sound of the drill encouraged him to open his eyes. You held up the tumor, encased in a transparent casing. You handed it to Fives; he studied it closely, bringing it up to his face with a sigh. The moment was over when the door whisked open.

“What have you done?” Dr. Nala Se came into the room; Fives didn’t appear frightened, but you sure as fuck were.

“We saved my friend’s life.” Fives whipped around to face the “long-neck” - as he calls them - holding up the tumor in an accusing manner towards her, “This tumor is the cause of his illness.” She reached out and tried to grab the encased organic matter, but Fives maintained a hard grip as they fought for it.

“Give me that!” Nala Se looked angrier than you had ever seen her. You ran up to them, trying to stop something before it started.

“You can’t be trusted.” Fives reached down to Tup’s cot with his free hand, grabbing a mysterious syringe, and held it up in a threatening manner. You reached your hands up to stop him, but Shaak Ti’s sudden arrival did the job for you.

“Stand down, trooper.” She stood at the doorway with her hand outstretched. Jedi didn’t need to hold a weapon; you knew what they could do with just one outstretched hand in the blink of an eye. You’ve never seen it in action, but you’ve heard stories.

Fives dropped the hand holding the syringe but kept hold of the tumor with his other. “I have evidence. It’s right here!” He sounded desperate. This looked way too bad. You were caught right in the middle of it all, too.

“I’m free…” A weak voice croaked from the cot, making all the heads in the room turn in the same direction. Tup. Fives let go of the tumor and whipped his body around to face his friend, crouching down next to Tup and leaned in close.

“Tup?”

“The mission… free.”

“What is he saying?” Shaak Ti entered through the threshold, a few guards flowing in from behind her with their blasters aimed at Fives.

“Brother, what mission?” It was apparent that Fives was trying to understand what was coming from Tup’s mouth, and could not care less that his own kind were holding weapons to him. It had been the first time anyone had heard Tup speak words that didn’t sound like “kill” and “Jedi” since his arrival.  

“You… you know the one. The- the mission, the one in our dreams…” Fives’ wide eyes scanned over his friend, searching for a clue, for anything. “…that never ends.”

You were frozen in your spot, taking in Tup’s bewildering words. You watched Fives’ expression as he frantically tried to decipher what Tup was murmuring. You glanced up from them, seeing the guards' buckets turn to look back and forth at each other. The mission - the one from their dreams?

“Oh, brother…” Tup’s hand lifted to the best of its ability; Fives grabbed it with his own and squeezed. This moment was so raw, so emotional, so real. You never would have thought…

“This is the end. Forget the mission.” Tup was fading away. You could hear it in his voice, and you knew that Fives knew what was coming. It looked as though Fives was holding back tears – trying to keep his composure. “Oh, the nightmare. I’m… free.” With that, Tup was gone.

You scanned the room. Shaak Ti bowed her head, hand over her heart. The other clones lowered their weapons down to their sides, heads bowing. Nala Se, however, remined the same. Her expression never changed. Heartless Kaminoans.

Fives was shaking his friend’s body, begging him to come back. “I thought I saved him…” You didn’t know what to do now. Tup was gone, and it was your fault. He was alive until you removed the tumor. Fives was in pain – mourning for his brother because of you. You took a few steps back, and leaned against the counter, your fingers combing through your scalp. Not only did you disobey direct orders twice today, but you also killed the very first lifeform you did a biopsy on, and to top that off, the patient you killed was important - a brother - to someone you deeply cared about.

***

Fives was placed under arrest just shorty after. Tup’s body wasn’t even cold yet.

You stood there in silence; Fives locked eyes with yours as he was almost forcefully escorted out of the room by the surrounding guards. It was clear that both of you were trying to communicate with the other using only your eyes, but no distinct message was coming across. You wanted to tell him you were so sorry for everything, and that you’d miss him, that you’d never forget him and Tup, and that meeting him changed your view of the clones entirely. But, there were no final goodbyes, no condolences given. Fives would be taken away, and you would be dismissed. You’ll miss Fives with all your heart, but you won’t miss Kamino.

General Shaak Ti followed behind the guards, leaving you in the macabre room with Dr. Nala Se and Tup’s lifeless body. It was silent for a moment before Nala Se looked over to you, shaking her head in disbelief. You were in big trouble.

“Miss Renna,” the long-neck approached slowly, closing the gap between where you were hunched forward over the counter resting on your elbows and where she was covering Tup’s body with a sheet. “I can not condone this type of behavior from an intern. I have no choice but to reassign you to your previous duties in the archives indefinitely.” You were not at all surprised. You nodded slowly, still not looking up at her. You felt numb. Only three days into real field experience, and you fucked up royally. You didn’t need to help Fives, resulting you in ending up in whatever this is. It was interesting that you weren’t dismissed like you’d assume you would be – just reassigned. The thing with Dr. Nala Se acting weird when Tup’s tumor came into play still was on the front of your mind; perhaps you would be able to look into these matters during your long, boring hours in the archives.

Finally looking up at Nala Se, “What… what is going to happen to my patient?” The words nearly came out choked as you tried to hide your worry for Fives. You needed to keep up the front – the professionality of it – so no suspicion would arise. She was scrolling through a datapad, clutching the tumor in her three fingers. The tumor. You tried to study it from afar - what it looked like, the coloring, how the cells neighbored inside it. It looked... dead. Depleted. You snapped your eyes away and over at the dead trooper, whose body was now completely covered by a thin sheet, when Nala Se spoke again.

“Do not worry about ARC-5555. It will be taken care of, so we can put this matter behind us. Just be thankful I didn’t dismiss you, Miss Renna. You are too valuable to replace with some other eager intern.”

Valuable? ‘It’? Taken care of?

“I am thankful, Doctor. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.” You were motioned to exit the room; as you walked by Nala Se, you caught one last glance at the tumor, attempting to burn the image of it in your brain and commit it to memory. There was something about the tumor – something that prompted strange behavior from the Kaminoans – and you needed to figure out what that something was.

***

tags: @bvcketfvcker​ @deewithani​ @chromia7567 ​ @cyaniderainfall

[13tinysocks]

I wanna see some anti fanfic rec plspls

You asked for it. May I present, a creepypasta x reader anti-reading list.

Quick Disclaimer: No author names will be dropped nor fic links or sites they’re on. I dislike these works but I don’t want anybody to be harassed. Don’t go after people, holy shit. These works are only here because of some heavily disturbing content. One of them just makes me super mad because of a few circumstances. These are purely my opinions. I am not writing Jesus nor do I write the cleanest stories out there. Dark topics should be explored in fiction. However, some things just shouldn’t fucking be romanticized. Fanfic is practice, I’m not taking points off for wonky writing.

You’re allowed to like whatever the fuck you want. I’m not shaming you or the authors. I’m talking about media I dislike, which I am completely allowed to do. If your friend or favorite author’s work is in here, maybe don’t send this to them. I get it’s tempting but still, it could be upsetting. Again, don’t fucking harass anybody. 

This list is in order of - Pisses me off to FBI open up to whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck.

Content warning for: Rape, miscarriages, abortion, necrophilia, sexism, child grooming, multiple types of abuse, ablism, and meanie head criticism of popular fics. Seriously, this gets exceptionally bad at the final one. 

First up in our lineup a pretty popular. It’s the least upsetting and problematic. It’s a various creepypasta x reader mansion fic. This is more of an honorable mention because it’s frustrating to read over being super bad.

Recruited.

Summary: (Y/n) killed an attempted rapist and covered it up years ago. She is recruited into the cpp’s to be considered as a proxy along with two others. Follow her through a journey of no character development into becoming a proxy.

What’s wrong with it?

-Brian literally is a misogynist. He literally hates women.

-(Y/n) is an asshole. Not in an entertaining bad bitch way. No, in an unaware bland way. Points off for being a business major, girl you have no soul and it shows.

-She is treated like the voice of reason who is always morally correct. Thing is, if anyone is neurodivergent or mentally ill and ya’know shows symptoms of it, they’re cRaZy, evil, and an annoyance. 

-Yes, people creeping on or getting clingy can be shitty/annoying but sometimes the way (Y/n) acts is completely unjust. It left a bad taste in my mouth because the character felt okay to be shitty to people who weren’t like her.

-The endings are disheartening and make no fucking sense. Cody, who is clingy at worst, gets rejected Jack, who TRIES TO BREAK (Y/N)’S FUCKING LEG, gets with her. Can I get a HELLO?????? 

-(Y/n) also doesn’t get with Jeff who suddenly turned into her brother character after hundreds of pages of romantic tension. Again, Recruited is not inherently bad but it may be really disappointing to people who are here for 1-2 specific characters.

-Queer bait-y author’s notes and inconstant love interests. Author’s notes would read like “Teehee, maybe I’ll make (Y/n) have Jane and/or Natalie endings……” But that never happens after it’s teased multiple times. I get not wanting to add more to your plate but don’t suggest it if you don’t want to do it or only want to please heterosexual readers.

-They put Tim outside like a dog for being a bad boy. 

-Author’s notes and percentages fill in details for the reader that aren’t in the fic. I’m not going to read all of that. Put important information in the fic. 

-Lot’s of excessive jealousy. Painfully heteronormative. 

What about the good?

Readable. Dramatic like Big Brother. Can be an entertaining read if it’s your thing.

Conclusion

Left a bad taste in my mouth. I feel like the author literally hated half the cast and was annoyed while writing them. When you don’t enjoy writing something it shows. Also, her other work (pandemic! Reader X X-Virus) is super tone-deaf and I don’t recommend that either. Don’t recommend joining this fic’s Discord server either. Won’t get into details but in my and my friend's experience: it’s not a good environment with a lot of playing favorites. 

-

Next up on our list is a grossly popular Eyeless Jack X Reader fic.

My Imaginary Monster

Summary: Immoral monster, Eyeless Jack, sneaking into a 5-year-old girl's room. He gets attached, sticks around through her childhood. Thing is, he gets real creepy. Starts to catch feelings for a 16-year-old he’s watched grow up. He kisses a minor who reciprocates his feelings which is textbook child grooming. Nasty fucker runs away, there’s some drama from that. (Y/n) grows up, comes back to town, and Jack’s a’creepin’.

What’s wrong with it?

-Jack is a literal child groomer. 

-Do I need to say more??? Immortal adult kisses a 16 y/o. Gross.

-People in the comments are going gaga for grooming. Are you kidding me, he’s a pedophile.

-The OC’s take up more than half of the ~200 page run time. I couldn’t get attached to any of them even after the supposed significance. Which is fine but they took up so much of the fic that it got boring and annoying incredibly quickly.

What’s good about it?

I enjoyed Ben. He did the right thing and I can respect that. Trans and poluyamourus reprrensentation.

Conclusion:

No child grooming in my fucking lobby. I think the author was trying to paint it in a bad light. But the thing is, you can write a creepy stalker fic without making them a groomer. A lot of people are trying to escape their troubles through fanfic, including those who’ve dealt with sexual abuse. Don’t bring that into x reader spaces. Don’t put readers through that again. 

-

Last and absolutely least we got a Tim X Reader. 

BIG TW. FUCKING HUGE TW. MOST OF THE TW’S FROM EARLIER ARE FROM THIS ONE FIC. 

Pure Forgiveness.

Summary: (Y/n) is abused by her mom. Her dad killed himself and she’s all (Y/n)’s got in this world. Until Tim comes along and “saves” her. He takes her to the mansion and keeps her as a pet to torture. 

I’m going to get into all the nitty-gritty to satisfy your morbid curiosities so you don’t read it. 

What’s wrong with it?

-Chapter 1 opens with (Y/n)’s miserable life. Her mom hates her so much she has a fucking torture table for (Y/n).

-There’s an attempted rape in chapter 2.

- She’s taken to the mansion by Tim in chapter 3 because he’s “off his medication” and “acting nicer than normal”. Hi, mentally ill person here, that’s not how it fucking works you ding dong. 

-Mental illness is made out to we wholly evil.

-Also tic’s are made out to be scary. As a person with tics, don’t write tics as scary or super weird. Thanks.

-(Y/n) not being able to escape, fight back rapists, and other horrible shit is labeled as weak.

-At one point (Y/n) is dragged through the mansion, beer bottles and used condoms are thrown at her. Girl has to shower off cum.

-(Y/n) is tortured in various ways. Mostly beaten, berated, burned, cut, starved, etc. 

-She is drugged and repeatedly raped by Brian and Toby. These rapes are recorded and shown to (Y/n).

-Brian has black hair. Why?

-Toby and Brian give (Y/n) a forced abortion.  

-(Y/n) gets raped almost every fucking chapter.

-At one point Jack orally rapes (Y/n) to abort a baby. 

-Toby and Brian are necrophiles. They skull fuck a corpse at some point. It is graphically described how they like to have sex with dead bodies.

-Slenderman forcefully impregnates (Y/n) to “keep the (Tim’s) baby safe” whatever the fuck that means.

Why does this happen?

Because Tim wants a kid because his dad raped his mom and his mom was a prostitute. He’s soooo sad guys :(((

Feeling hungry? Here’s some things that are eaten by various characters.

-Hair 

-Cum (forced)

-Toby 

-Piss 

-A miscarried baby 

What’s good about it?

Nothing. Fucking nothing. Don’t read it.

Conclusion

If you like this fic you need therapy, I’m not joking. It’s like a car crash and Rob Zombie movie horribly mish-mashed together. It sucks. The comments praise literal abuse and berate (Y/n) for being afraid. Fuck this fic and everything it stands for. It’s shock horror and torture for the sake of it. It makes no fucking sense and it’s harmful. People think this is okay. It’s not. 

-

Thank you to my pals in the server for helping out and finishing some of these where I could not. Especially you Connie, everyone say thank you Connie she got through Pure Forgiveness. Absolute trooper legend. Again, don’t go out of your way to harass these people. I made this list so you can avoid these works because they have the potential to be upsetting. I’m not the police, I can’t force anyone to stop nor do I want to. Author’s are allowed to explore dark topics but some should be done respectfully or not at-fucking-all. I hope these people grow as writers and understand treating some things a certain way isn’t cool. You can enjoy dark fics, I do too, fuck I write them too, but Jesus God, some things are a no from me chief.

[odos-bucket]

So to continue my thoughts on Clark and Bruce adopting Jason together (begun here)

They go back to crime alley the next day. Bruce brings a copy of The Scarlet Pimpernel for Jason, who seems vaguely surprised to see them again. He isn’t as wary as he had been when they’d met in the middle of the night, and even sits beside Clark when they get onto the bus (though both end up giving their places up to other passengers before they can reach their destination).

At this point Clark and Bruce are focused on the idea of getting Jason enrolled in school, so the intention with this get together is to familiarize him with some potential institutions. Bruce was up all the previous night researching Gotham boarding schools, and reaching out to faculty members.

Despite all the preparation, the whole thing goes terribly.

Jason seems fine on the bus, but is tense and anxious during the actual school visits. He’s engaged by the classes and lectures he sits in on, but overall feels out of place, and is distrustful of pretty much everyone he ends up interacting with. He’s feeling conflicted, because he loves school, and he knows he’ll be pissed at himself forever if he really has this opportunity and ends up letting it slip by. But on the other hand he’s justifiably paranoid about perceived kindness from strangers (and yeah maybe it’s a little easier to trust Superman than it would be just anybody, but he still doesn’t really know the guy). And even if there isn’t some hidden catch to the offer, he’s not sure he can get on board with living somewhere where there’s a curfew, where his activities would be monitored. The idea of ceding any amount of control in his life at this point makes his skin crawl. He figures he owes it to himself to at least see if this is something that could work out, but goddamn if everything about it isn’t overwhelming and kind of horrifying.

And that’s all before other people start making themselves problems. Everywhere they end up going there’s bullshit to deal with from students, teachers, and administration.

Because of course the people running facilities designed to cater to Gotham socialites don’t treat Jason right. Even with freakin’ Batman and Superman with him he gets suspicious glares and withering looks.

None of that is any less than he expected. What really gets Jason is how put off everyone seems to be by his questions. He comes into every office with a list of things he’s curious about (Batman isn’t the only one who stayed up the previous night to prepare). He wants to know what percentage of the student bodies are there on scholarship, how the meal plans work, what the curfews are, how tightly regulated students’ time is outside of classes, what his life would be like if he put it into their hands.

The administrators don’t like the ‘interrogation’. Which is absolutely insane, because really they should expect any prospective student to have questions. And they should be prepared to answer them. That should be a part of their job, right??

But there’s this attitude of, “We don’t need to explain ourselves to the likes of you,” of, “Just be grateful you have a place here at all.” And that’s what puts Jason over the edge, has him realizing that this isn’t something he’s going to be able to deal with.

It’s after he gets more or less the same reception at the third place they’ve visited, that he finally just has to leave. He can’t take it, he can’t stand it, he has to get out of the office before he bites somebody’s head off.

He gets outside as quickly as he can, and feels some relief breathing in the fresh air (fresh by Gotham standards at least). He feels so stupid for believing he could have this. Really he should have known better. And he hates feeling stupid more than anything.

Superman trails out after him. And Jason can’t figure out what he’s still doing here. And he’s embarrassed to be upset in front of him. And he’s angry that he feels embarrassed when he doesn’t have any good reason to be. And-

“Jason.”

His name ends up cutting through the disorientation he hadn’t quite realized he was experiencing.

Superman is in front of him, just far enough away that he can’t reach out and touch him. Jason stares at him.

“This is shit,” he says, trying to keep his voice casual.

“What happened?”

They had offered to go in with him to meet the dean of the first school. Jason had turned them down, and they hadn’t offered any of the subsequent times. He hadn’t exactly been keeping them apprized of what was going on either, even though questioning him wasn’t something they had given up on after it had failed to yield anything the first time.

“The same thing that always happens,” Jason says. “No one really want someone like me at their fancy school.”

Superman’s eyes narrow.

“What happened?” He asks again. “What did he say?”

“Doesn’t matter… Look, this has been fun and all, but I kinda just want to go home. So if you don’t mind-“

Batman appears with them as quickly as he’s able to disappear. Neither see where he comes from. He’s just suddenly walking toward them, meeting them, and continuing on without slowing down.

“We’re leaving,” he grunts.

Jason hesitates briefly, confused. But then his thoughts catch up to him enough to realize that leaving is exactly what he wants to be doing, and he hurries after Batman.

The heroes are deeply engrossed in their own conversation as they make their way off the grounds. It’s soft, and urgent, and Jason assumes it has something to do with the fate of the world, which he’s vaguely interested in. But he doesn’t think they’d appreciate him asking questions about things that don’t directly concern him. So he says nothing.

As they get closer to the street he realizes he’s not sure what happens next. He’s feeling tired, and frustrated, and he both really wants to be alone, and doesn’t want them to leave him. Mostly- at least so he tells himself- he wants to make sure that they don’t leave him without bus fare. He’s pretty sure they’ll give it to him if he asks, but he’s also hoping that he doesn’t need to ask.

Once they’re off the property, Batman turns around to face him.

“Jason, I’m so sorry. I don’t know exactly what Dean Sterlins said to you, but if it was anything like what he was saying while I was in there, it was way way out of line.” He starts off sounding tired, and ends up sounding angry.

Angry grownups are something that Jason generally tries to avoid, but Batman’s anger doesn’t feel particularly dangerous, and as he goes on it shifts into something more like urgency.

“Please believe, we never would have knowingly put you in that situation. I- Were the others the same?” There’s a hint of resignation in his tone that suggests he already knows the answer to that, so Jason doesn’t feel the need to do more than shrug.

Batman sighs, and it comes out as such an unexpectedly sad sound that he almost snorts out a laugh.

“Why didn’t you say something before?” Superman asks gently.

Because he had been holding out a stupid hope that if he stuck with this long enough he might find something worthwhile. Because he didn’t want to give them a reason to believe he’s more trouble than he’s worth. Because it didn’t occur to him that they might genuinely want to know until literally just now.

He shrugs. The heroes exchange a look.

Jason’s grip on the book Batman gave him tightens slightly, and he clears his throat.

“Look, uh, I’m sure there’s somewhere else you guys need to be. I appreciate you taking the time to…” He gestures around. “You know.”

“There’s no where else we need to be today,” Superman says.

“Oh… Okay?”

“There’s one more place we’d like to take you,” he continues. “If it’s all right with you. It’ll be the last one.”

Jason wrinkles his nose. He kind of just wants to go home at this point. The optimistic ‘maybe the next place will be different’ feeling he’d had at the beginning of the day has long since shriveled. And curling up with his new book sounds pretty nice right now.

But at the same time, the last three visits have all included opportunities for free food. It stands to reason that this next one will as well. That should make it worth it even if he already knows with near certainty that they can’t be heading somewhere where he might actually have a future. Plus, Superman has this dumb, hopeful look on his face that it’s hard to say no to.

So he takes the bus with them to a fourth location. The ride’s a little less than half an hour long, and the building they arrive at looks different from the campuses they’d been to earlier. It’s not huge. The architecture is pretty simple by Gotham standards. It’s more immediately recognizable as a school.

They go inside, and Batman stops to exchange a few brief words with a woman in the front office.

“There’s a seventh grade English class starting in about ten minutes,” he informs Jason afterwards. “Would you like to sit in on it? We can meet back here afterwards.”

Jason agrees eagerly. This was the part of the last three trips that he’d actually liked. Maybe he can get in and out without needing to sit down with any deans or headmasters.

He attends a class where the students aren’t wearing uniforms, where he gets a few curious glances, but no lingering glares. He gives a note from the woman at the front desk to the teacher, and a few kids offer him greeting nods or smiles before the lecture begins.

The class is more than halfway done, and he’s been deeply engrossed in a discussion about The Giver- which he has never read, but now fully intends to- when all the observations he’s been making about this place click together.

The class ends, and he meets his chaperones back in the hall- where Superman is entertaining a group of ten year olds- to inform them of his realization.

“This isn’t a boarding school,” he says, once the rest of the kids have shuffled on to their next classes.

“No it is not,” Batman agrees.

Jason scowls.

“I stopped going to regular school for a reason,” he reminds them. “I can’t do this. As in literally can’t. I tried!” He’s trying not to sound upset, but it feels like they’re teasing him with this one.

“School’s a lot to manage without a stable living situation.” Batman says.

Jason huffs out a low agreement.

“So we were thinking…” He looks around, as if confirming the hall’s emptiness, before stepping into Jason’s line of sight. “We were thinking you could come and stay with us, and we could bring you to school here.”

Jason’s mind doesn’t process the offer fast enough for him to react immediately. Even once he’s sure of what he’s heard he thinks he must be misunderstanding. He looks up and at each of them try to draw clues from their expressions, their body language. It’s nearly impossible to do with Batman. Superman looks open, honest, and… hopeful. But that’s how he always looks, so does it really even mean anything?

Unable to make any useful interpretations, he asks the only question his mind has been able to form.

“What?”

“Would you like to come and live with us?” Superman says clearly.

Jason continues to stare for several seconds.

“Both of you?” He asks, because that’s interesting, and far easier to comprehend than the idea that someone might want him.

Batman clears his throat, and Superman-

-Superman blushes, which is enough to distract Jason from all the bizarre turns this day has taken.

“And, um, and our son,” he adds. “We have a son. He’s about five years older than you.”

The gears in Jason’s brain turn and click together.

“Robin,” he says quietly.

The vigilantes exchange uncertain looks, like they’ve been doing all day.

“Nightwing now,” Batman says, barely loud enough to be a whisper.

Jason just nods, because this is insane, and despite being born and raised in Gotham, he doesn’t always have a prepared response to insanity. A long moment passes, and all three of them stare at each other.

“Y- you want to foster me?” He says the words so so carefully, like he could chase the reality of them out of existence if he misspeaks, like he’s sure he hasn’t understood them properly.

“We do,” Superman says, quickly enough that the breath that had caught in Jason’s throat as soon as he’d gotten the question out can escape before it gets the chance to make him light headed. “We really do.”

Jason can’t imagine how this will work. He’s pretty sure it’s not a process that can be undergone with fake identities. Does that mean they’re willing to let him know who they are? Or maybe there’s some kind of exception for super heroes. He understands the procedure well enough to know that it’s bound to be a bureaucratic nightmare.

“Yeah,” he finds himself saying before he’s done thinking it through.

Today has been weird, and exhausting. But he likes this place. And he’s pretty sure he likes these people. And really, he would be crazy to say no, wouldn’t he.

“Let’s try it.”

[supernaturalfreewill]

Words: 5,232 Sister!Winchester Reader x Gabriel Warnings: violence, intense scenarios, violent imagery A/N: So... once upon a time I was writing two series at once... Mess Is Mine and Fangs and First Impressions. And I said to myself, "Self, we are never going to write two series at the same time again! This is stressful!" And yet, here I am today, already writing two series (The Wrong Bed, Sam x Reader which is almost done! and Even in the Darkest Heart, a Demon!Dean series) and now I'm being dumb and chucking in a third. This was supposed to be a One Shot but as we've already established on this blog I am apparently incapable of writing short fics. So HERE YA GO! New Series. Don't ask me how many parts it will be because I literally have NO IDEA. :) But having a steaming slice of Gabriel, straight out of the oven.

Your name: submit What is this?

White. Clean, blank, pure white. That was all you were aware of suddenly. It was blindingly white and as you sat up and then pulled yourself to your feet, you saw that it was like an expansive room, painted in the color of freshly fallen snow, unmarred by any track or trail. All was pure white.

“Hello?” The only answer you received was the lonely echo of your voice, so distorted by the time it bounced back that it was almost unrecognizable. Where the fuck am I? you wondered. You started to walk, but as everything was the same, the sensation of moving was unaccompanied by any visual cue that you actually were moving. This was so unsettling and disorienting that you ceased your tentative steps quickly. Your heart started to race a little faster and a disturbing thought popped into your mind. Am I dead?

_ _ _ _ _ _ “I need a large bore IV, wide open. And up her oxygen percentage. Her numbers are tanking!”

“Sir, you really have to stay back. Sir! You’re not allowed beyond these doors!”

Dean watched helplessly as your unconscious body, straddled by a doctor with their hands pressed firmly down onto your abdomen, was hurried through a pair of swinging doors, flanked by an army of medical personnel. Dean finally registered the nurse in front of him and stopped before he collided with her outstretched hands. “Where are they—”

“They’re taking her straight into surgery. Are you next of kin?”

“Yes—My brother and I. She’s our sister! I need an update! As soon as you have one!” Dean urged.

“Do you give us permission to perform life-saving actions like resuscitation if necessary?” The words came out in a fast tumble and Dean didn’t even process them before he answered.

“Yes, goddammit! Do whatever you have to—she has to be okay!”

“We’ll let you know as soon as we know anything,” The nurse turned and ran down the long hallway, the swinging doors closing finally behind her. Dean paced a tight circle, a bundle of nerves and rage.

In about 20 minutes, Sam came running up and spotted Dean collapsed in a chair in the little seating area, endlessly bouncing his knee. “Hey—what’s going on? They wouldn’t let me leave—I almost punched out a security guard,” he said desperately. Sam had fresh stitches in his forehead and he was developing quite the bruise around one eye.

Dean let out a heavy exhale. “They rushed her right into surgery.” Dean rubbed a hand over the stubble on his chin. “Are you okay?” he asked, finally looking up to inspect Sam’s stitches.

Sam collapsed into a chair beside his brother. “Fine. They said the concussion is probably mild. Nice to be numbed for stitches for once,” he said, but his eyes kept darting back toward the doors and he was wringing his hands. “Did you hear anything yet?”

“No.”

The Winchesters sat in a heavy silence for almost two hours before a doctor came out.

_ _ _ _ _ _

You were becoming so anxious by the lack of anything and the horrible thought in your head that this was it, this was dying, that your heart was absolutely racing in your chest now. Sitting still didn’t seem like a good option, but the thought of trying to move again through all that blank nothingness seemed just as bad. “Hello?!” you yelled once more, this time as loud as you could.

“Hi there.”

You jumped with a startled gasp and spun around, one hand on your chest out of fright and surprise. There was a figure there. He had a small, warm smile on his face and his irises seemed to blaze golden and light brown. It was strange—you felt an overwhelming sense of calm as you looked at him. Your heart rate had slowed to its usual pace and you no longer felt that bubble of rising panic in your chest, threatening to burst. You were keenly aware that in your profession, a seemingly kind face didn’t necessarily mean anything—and yet, he had somehow stopped your wounded whirling.

“Who—who are you?” you asked, finally able to recover from your surprise and find your voice.

His smile widened on one side, curving up in a crooked half-smirk. “Well… I suppose you can call me your guardian angel,” he said.

Your brow only furrowed down in confusion. “Where… are we?”

“Difficult question to answer. We’re nowhere and yet, in some sense… kind of everywhere to you right now.”

The wrinkles on your furrowed brow deepened. “Am I—am I dead?”

He threw his head back and laughed heartily, while you merely looked on in perplexity. “Now, what kind of guardian angel would I be if that were the case?” he asked you. He suddenly stuck a hand into his pocket and pulled out a large Twix candy bar, bouncing a little unconcernedly on his toes. He opened it and took a big bite, before meeting your eyes again.

“I’m sorry—but who are you?” you asked again.

He let out another small chuckle and you watched as the corners of his eyes crinkled this time in a broad smile, but he still didn’t give you an answer.

“If I’m not dead, what exactly is happening?”

He tilted his head a little and looked at you for a long moment. “Do you remember that man in the bar?”

And suddenly it was like you were there—sensory overload. You could hear the drone of the music in the background and smell that heady scent of beer… And there was the man. You saw his face clearly, and now you saw that he had been watching you.

“I see him,” you said, and suddenly you were back in the white space. “Saw him.”

The figure nodded. “Well, he wasn’t just a guy in the bar.”

Now, you tilted your head a little in an unspoken question and your eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

“He was the thing you were hunting. And he figured out that you were hunting him.”

As soon as he said it you heard a crack like thunder and a flash like hot, white lightning. Your body jolted and there was a searing pain in your stomach. You looked down saw an expanding circle of dark crimson on your shirt, and when you pressed a hand to it your fingers came away stained bright red, sticky with blood. Now when you looked back up at the figure he wasn’t smiling anymore and there was no sign of the candy bar or wrapper. He raised two fingers and snapped, and the searing pain disappeared along with the scarlet stain on your shirt.

“Sorry about that,” he said. His voice now was lacking the playful lilt it had before. It was soft and serious. “That can happen from time to time. Reality leaks in a little bit.”

Suddenly, you understood and then you remembered. You had heard his footsteps behind you, first at a distance and then quickly, running. You had turned and then… the crack of the gun going off and echoing in the lonely parking lot—the flash of the muzzle. More gunshots, must have been Sam and Dean shooting back—they had been ahead of you going to the Impala. But you were already on your knees, bleeding, clutching your stomach and struggling to see anything through the searing pain.

“He shot me,” you said.

“He did,” the stranger said.

“But I’m alive?”

“Yes.” A long silence stretched where you both just looked at each other, and you were reeling from the implications.

“So, is this real or all in my head?” you asked him.

He smiled again, just a small one, and it lit fireworks of light off in his eyes. They were mesmerizing. “Why can’t it be both?” he asked. “We’ll be seeing each other again. I promise.”

“But—wait!”

_ _ _ _ _ _

Sam and Dean both jumped to their feet when the surgeon came out through the swinging doors and eagerly ran to meet her.

“Y/N is going to make it,” she said. The brothers both heaved huge sighs of relief. Sam crumpled half over and put his hands on his knees, forcing in air. Dean shut his eyes and clenched a hand into a fist. “She’s very, very luckily to be alive. The bullet lacerated her liver and she lost a lot of blood but it missed her hepatic artery by mere millimeters. If that had been hit, she would have bled out in minutes,” the surgeon said. Sam straightened back up stiffly and exchanged a look of horror and desperation with Dean. “She’s in critical condition and we will keep her in the ICU until she is more stable, but she’ll be okay. Thank goodness you two got her here so quickly,” the surgeon said.

“Thank you,” Dean said forcefully.

“Yes, thank you so much,” Sam added. The surgeon nodded and headed back through the doors. The Winchesters stood there in silence after the doctor left until finally Sam broke it.

“That was way too close,” he said.

Dean swallowed hard at the lump in his throat, but it wouldn’t lessen. “Way too damn close,” he said, his voice breaking a little. He wandered back over to collapse into the chairs. Sam sank down next to him and glanced over at his big brother.

“At least the shifter is dead,” Sam said. “Yeah. But we still have to deal with the cops,” Dean growled. “Afterall, we did kill someone in a parking lot…”

“There was surveillance at the bar. It was clear self-defense. We have nothing to worry about,” Sam reassured him.

“Well, not nothing,” Dean said. “You know what a pain in the ass it is going to be trying to keep Y/N from doing anything to heal up?” A faint touch of a smile reached his eyes as he looked over at Sam.

He nodded. “She is a Winchester.”

_ _ _ _ _ _

You were finally moved from the ICU, and Sam and Dean snuck in early, even before visiting hours, so they could be there when you woke up. Sam had a huge bouquet of sunflowers on his lap and Dean had brought your favorite herbal tea. You woke up slowly, still a little foggy from all the painkillers, but you immediately sensed the two figures in your room. Sam noticed you stirring first.

“Hey,” he said sitting up. His voice was soft but you could hear the smile in it. “You’re awake,” he said, climbing to his feet and coming to stand beside your bed. “Brought you something to brighten up the room. I know they’re your favorite,” he said, setting down the huge bouquet on the side table.

You blinked heavily a few times and managed a weak smile at him, “Thanks. It’s good to be up and have my room brightened,” you said. You put your hands down on the bed and tried to sit up a little more but immediately winced and hunched over, a hiss of breath drawn in through your teeth, drawing concerned looks from your older brothers.

Dean was immediately at your other side. “How are you feeling?” he asked. His voice sounded extra gruff to your ears, and you knew it was likely due to worry.

“I’m doing well for someone who has staples holding their guts in,” you said dryly, a small wry smile creeping onto your face. Neither of your big brothers laughed. “Oh, come on! I’m kidding!”

Dean swallowed at the lump and tightness in his throat again but it didn’t abate. “Really though? How’s your pain?”

You shook your head. “I’m fine. Really. You can stop giving me those classic Winchester furrowed brows. I’m okay. They have me on the good drugs,” you added with a small smile. You noticed the paper cup clutched in Dean’s hand. “Is that for me?”

“Oh, yeah. Your favorite tea.”

You grinned at him and accepted the cup. “Thank you.”

Sam sighed heavily beside you, and you could sense your brothers exchanging a glance. “Listen, Y/N…” Sam started. You lowered the cup from your lips and looked at him.

“Stop,” you said holding up a hand. “Before you say anything else, I need to say something.” You struggled to find the words. You wanted, no—needed them to hear every word you were about to say. “This is not your fault,” you said, deliberately turning your eyes to Dean and catching his green ones. “I mean it. This was bad luck. It could have been any of us. I was just the slowest walking to the Impala. My legs are a lot shorter than yours,” you joked. “Alright?” A heavy, thick silence held the room in suspension, feeling like a stifling summer evening heavy with humidity. “I mean it. None of us saw this coming. It isn’t anyone’s fault except the dickhead who shot me.”

Sam was staring at your face and you caught his eyes, which were a little sad and glistening more than they should have been for the light. “We’re your big brothers though,” he said. “We’re supposed to protect you.”

“We thought we lost you,” Dean said.

“But you didn’t,” you retorted. “And you did protect me—you saved my life. They said if you had waited for an ambulance I might not have made it.”

Dean’s jaw clenched and you watched the muscle in it twitch. “Did they tell you?” he asked you, his green eyes holding yours—and you saw fear there, something you rarely saw in his eyes—not that it was never there. He just never let you see it. “Millimeters and it wouldn’t have been fast enough.” You looked down at your hand on the comforter of the hospital blanket.

“Yeah, about that, actually…” you started. Sam’s brow creased even more in the middle. “There’s something else that happened I need to tell you about.”

“What is it?”

“I think while I was in surgery—or maybe even before, I don’t know for sure—but I saw something,” you said, wrapping both your hands around your paper cup again, soaking in the warmth of the tea.

“What do you mean?” Dean asked, apprehension growing with every word your spoke.

“It’s kind of hard to explain. I was in this pure white room… and at first there wasn’t anything there. It was just empty but then this… figure appeared.” Your brothers watched your eyes grow a little distant.

“A figure?” Sam repeated. You looked up at him and nodded.

“I asked him who he was and he told me that I could call him my ‘guardian angel’,” you said, now looking over at Dean and trying to read his reaction. His face seemed to darken and you watched the muscle twitch in his jaw again.

“It was probably just your brain trying to process what was happening to you,” Sam offered. “You almost died. The mind does crazy things when the body is in shock—trust me, I know,” he said sincerely. “And so does Dean.”

You shook your head. “No,” you said, vehemently. “It wasn’t that. It wasn’t. It was real. I’m telling you; it was—” you sighed heavily, not even knowing how to explain without sounding stupid. “—it was happening in my head but this figure, I don’t know… There was something about him. I think he really exists,” you said.

“Did he say anything else?” Dean pressed you.

“I asked him who he was and then I asked him where we were and he said something like, ‘We’re nowhere and yet, in some sense everywhere.’ Whatever the hell that means,” you said, fiddling with the sleeve on your hospital gown. You hesitated, knowing the next question you asked would be hard for your brothers to hear. “Um. And then I asked him if I was dead… and—it was the strangest thing. He laughed and he made some joke about it.”

“He made a joke? What the hell?” Sam repeated.

Dean shook his head. “What kind of joke?”

“Like, ‘oh, how good of a guardian angel would I be if you were dead?’ Oh! And it gets weirder… then he reached in his pocket and pulled out a candy bar.”

Now, Dean and Sam both straightened up involuntarily and looked at each other long and hard in some kind of silent communication. “What? What is it?” you asked. “Come on. Don’t do the silent, telepathic thing. I hate when you do that,” you said.

Sam swallowed hard. “What did this figure look like?” he asked.

You tried to call up an image of him in your mind, and as soon as you shut your eyes you could see him as clear as day. “He has sort of warm brown hair. It’s a little shorter than yours, Sam, kind of swept back. And he has these—these eyes that look like they’re golden brown or amber. A little stubble on his face and he has this cheeky sort of little smile…” You opened your eyes again and looked at your brothers. Their expressions made it quite clear they knew exactly who you were describing.

Dean ran a hand over his face and licked his lips. “You said he pulled out a candy bar?”

“Mhm. I wouldn’t get that detail wrong,” you said.

Sam shrugged and his eyebrows lifted. He shook his head, a little disbelieving.

“What?” you repeated, looking between your brothers. “Who is it? What’s going on?” You were met with stony silence again. “If you two don’t tell me right now I’m going to climb out of this bed and if my stitches rip out it WILL be your fault!”

Dean sighed heavily again. “Alright! Alright! Calm down, turbo!” You sunk back against your pillows again. “Yeah, I think we know who you saw. But—I mean—” Dean looked to Sam who shook his head again, apparently having no explanation. “It doesn’t make any sense.” You gave a questioning look.

“We knew him. Before we knew about you. It was definitely not your mind inventing this, but—he’s dead as far as we know,” Sam said.

Now it was your turn to gulp at the tightness in your throat. “Dead?” you repeated. Sam nodded.

“Yeah,” Dean said. “It’s complicated.”

You laughed sardonically and let your head fall back against your pillow, feeling suddenly tired. “Isn’t it always with us?”

“You’re tired. You obviously need to rest so we can talk about this later,” Dean said, putting a hand gently on your shoulder.

“What?! No! You’re not just gonna say that and expect me to be able to—to sleep!” You looked between your brothers in annoyance. “I’m serious! Cough it up! If you think I’m giving the two of you time to concoct some bullshit cover story you have another thing coming.”

Sam closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Alright. Just—relax. We don’t need you getting all worked up… You remember that trickster we told you about? Way before we found out about you?”

“The one who made you watch Dean die over and over again?”

“Yes, exactly,” Sam said.

“…Wait, you think that figure I saw was this—this trickster? That’s way too powerful for a—”

“He wasn’t a trickster,” Dean interrupted. “He was an archangel playing at being a trickster.”

Your jaw dropped open. “What?”

“Gabriel. It was the archangel Gabriel,” Sam said. You stared at him like he was insane. And then you looked over at Dean, who was refusing to look at you and instead staring, brooding, at his boots, chewing on his lower lip.

“Pardon my French but fucking--Gabriel?? THE Gabriel?”

Sam nodded. He could see your mind starting to spiral. “Whoa, whoa, whoa—he said he was my ‘guardian angel’. You don’t think he was being serious, do you?”

Dean shrugged. “We don’t know. We don’t even know if he’s back. He’s supposed to be dead. Sam and I basically watched him die. Besides, just because he said something like that doesn’t mean anything. He loves goofing around,” Dean said, and you heard some bitterness still in his voice.

“I don’t think saving my life is goofing around,” you retorted.

“We don’t know for sure that he did that,” Sam said. “We need to be careful here. There could be some other agenda. I mean, he was dead. So, if he is actually back that is a big enough mystery right there to warrant being concerned. Resurrections tend to have a catch.”

“I didn’t even know archangels could die,” you said, a little sadly. “Why did he—?"

“He died to save Dean and I,” Sam said. You let out an exhale in an audible rush of air. “Y/N, did he say anything else?”

Now you couldn’t think. Your mind was spinning. You pressed your palms over your eyes. “Umm, yeah he—I asked him if I wasn’t dead what was happening and he walked me through the shooting. The guy in the bar… the parking lot—” you suddenly shuddered and your eyes flew wide open. You pressed one hand over your incision.

“You okay?” Sam put a hand gently on your arm.

“It was like I was there. I could see everything as if in the actual moment. I saw the man in the bar watching us. I heard him running up behind me when we were in the parking lot. And then I could feel it again…” You trailed off and the room stayed silent for a long moment, each of you grappling again with how close to true disaster and devastation you had all come. Sam reached out and grabbed your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“But he just snapped his fingers and it was gone—the pain and everything.” You looked over at Dean. “I heard more gunshots—after I was shot. Did you and Sam—?”

Dean nodded solemnly. “We got him. He’s gone.”

That answer was weighty. You were glad that he was gone, but you wondered about the implications. “Are you and Sam going to get into trouble? I’m guessing there is an investigation and—you killed someone. What if—” Dean smiled fondly at you and chuckled a little. “Are you really worried about that? You almost died, and you’re worried about Sammy and me dealing with the cops? It’s all taken care of, okay? There were surveillance cameras in the lot. They caught everything. It was a clear case of self-defense. Don’t worry.”

You nodded and let out a relieved sigh. “Good. That’s really good. Who is going to wait on me hand and foot if the two of you are in jail?” you joked.

“Y/N,” Sam said, his tone again serious. “What else did Gabriel say?”

“Right. Umm, I asked him what was happening if I wasn’t dead—if it was real or all in my head. He said ‘Why not both?’ and then he told me—” you suddenly remembered his last words to you and the beeping on the heart monitor increased to match the rushing of your heart. You gulped. “He said we would be seeing each other again. What do you think that means?”

Sam shook his head and looked to Dean, whose face was stern and serious. “I don’t know.”

“Do you think it was really Gabriel?” you asked. “I mean, it could have been something else pretending to be him, couldn’t it?”

Sam rubbed a hand over the center of his chest, where a tightness seemed to be taking hold. “I don’t know. We don’t know. But you should get some rest now. Dean and I will look into this, okay?”

They both kissed your forehead and made sure you were comfortable against your pillows before retreating to the hallway, hoping that you would take their advice and get some sleep while they investigated.

Dean pulled out his phone and pressed the speed dial number for Cas, who was back at the bunker. Cas answered on the first ring.

“Dean?”

“Yeah, hey. Sammy and I are just leaving the hospital.”

“How is Y/N?”

“Well, you know, as good as can be expected. She seems to be in good spirits though.”

Cas breathed a sigh of relief into the phone. “Good. That’s very good news. I feel so… useless,” he said a little quietly.

“I know,” Dean replied. “But there’s nothing to be done about that right now. And none of this is your fault.” There was a beat of silence where Dean guessed Cas was still wishing as hard as he could that he would somehow magically regain his angel mojo. “Hey, listen, though… there does seem to be something else strange going on…”

“What do you mean?” The angel’s voice immediately deepened with worry.

Dean ran a hand back through his hair. “Y/N said when she was unconscious that she had some sort of dream or vision or something. She is fairly convinced that it really happened.”

“Okay…” Cas’s voice was uneasy.

Dean quickly related the whole story to Cas with as much detail as he could remember, but purposely omitted the key moment—the candy bar. “This figure claimed to be her guardian angel.” “Well, that is odd because the human idea of a ‘guardian angel’ is quite rare in actuality. Only a very, very small number of humans would ever be given that kind of special protection and they would have to be very important.”

“Right. But we asked her to describe who she saw and guess who it was?”

“Dean, you know I don’t like guessing games—”

“Frickin’ Gabriel. The archangel.” Dean waited for Cas to say something but the line was quiet. “Cas? Cas, are you still there?”

On the other end, standing in the front room of the bunker, there was a very good reason Cas was silent.

“Hello, brother.”

Standing before him was the very being Dean had just mentioned.

“Oh, why don’t you just go ahead and tell Dean-o you need to call him back.”

Cas was so shocked that he gulped and did just that without thinking.

“Cas, wait! What’s—” Dean let out an annoyed sigh and Sam’s brow contracted low over his eyes.

“What was that?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Cas just hung up on me all of a sudden. He sounded weird,” Dean mused, frowning down at his phone. He redialed Cas’s number but it simply rang and rang.

Back in the bunker, the angel stared in shock at Gabriel. “Wow. What exactly have you done to yourself, brother? I mean, I was never a big fan of the trench coat but even that was better than this,” Gabriel said with a grimace, taking in Cas’s sweatshirt and jeans. “Yikes. But, I’ll admit I do kind of dig the scruffy look you’ve got going on with the beard.”

Cas’s dark eyebrows were casting a heavy shadow over his cobalt eyes. “Gabriel… How—how is this possible?” he asked, stepping back slightly. “You’re supposed to be dead.”

“Well, I was dead. Dead as a door nail. But—then, all of a sudden, I wasn’t,” he said. He walked casually over to the table and hopped up to sit on it.

“What—” Cas gulped anxiously. “How?”

“Beats me. Dad up to his old tricks again if I had to guess. I was given some specific instructions though…” he added mysteriously.

Cas didn’t say anything and just studied him. He seemed to be quite the same Gabriel that Cas remembered. “What were they?”

“Oh, come on, Cas! You never did have much flair for the dramatic. You really think I’m just going to sit here and tell you? No, no, no… especially when you’re the only one here…” he said, glancing around. He jumped back down onto his feet. “Listen, don’t bother calling those flannel-swaddled jawlines back—first of all because your phone is broken—”

Cas glanced down at the screen on his phone and it was cracked and did not light when he pressed the button on the side. He gave the archangel an annoyed look.

“And second of all, because they will know when it’s time for them to know. Which, by my calculations, will be when they get back here in three to five days once Y/N is able to leave the hospital.”

“Dean said she saw you when she was unconscious or… dying,” Cas said. It was hard even to get the word out.

Gabriel smiled. “Did he now? How interesting, don’t you think?”

Cas was getting irritated with him for playing coy. “Enough, Gabriel. Did you save her life?”

He pointed to himself. “Did I? Y/N had some sort of vision of a mystic figure? Sounds like a classic near-death experience to me. Who’s to say if it really happened at all?” He smiled serenely at Cas again. “Where is Y/N’s room? This way?” he asked, pointing down the hallway. Cas frowned at the question but Gabriel only took off in that direction.

“Gabriel,” Cas called after him, rushing to catch up. “I don’t have my grace but you do. Why don’t you go heal Y/N now?”

Gabriel gave Cas a doubtful look. “Yeah, I’m sure that miracle would go completely unnoticed by the hospital staff… Look, brother, as much as I would like to simply go and fix her, take away all the ouchies, I can’t yet. Y/N is going to have to wait until she’s released.”

Despite his usual playful tone, Cas thought he saw real concern in his brother’s eyes while he spoke of you. “Well, is it true?”

Gabriel was continuing his hurried walk down the hall, poking his head into every room to see if it was yours. “Is what?” he asked carelessly over his shoulder.

“You told Y/N you were her guardian angel!”

Surprisingly this stopped him in his tracks and he turned to face Cas, his lips pressed together into a thin line. “Castiel, you know how rare that is. I mean, they hardly exist. Only a handful over all the millennia,” he said softly. There was a strange light in his eyes and Cas studied his expression carefully.

“That didn’t answer my question.”

And in response to that, Gabriel only smiled.

Part 2

[snkpolls]

SnK Episode 69 Poll Results (for Manga Readers)

The poll closed with 200 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Manga Readers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll, click here.

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RATE THE EPISODE 193 responses

The anime continues on with it’s hot streak, with episode 69 receiving only 1 vote in the negative direction. The vast majority were very pleased with this episode. 

this time the pacing felt quite weird, specially with how they managed the flashbacks. sorry mappa, but for the first time i feel like this was a 7/10 episode

nice i guess.

Beautifully done

It was great especially the confession part hahah

I love MAPPA's takes on the series so far!

Overall, very good episode. MAPPA is doing a great job. 

i liked it!

A little iffy but still solid.

WHICH MOMENT FROM THE PRESENT TIME WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 194 responses

There were many significant moments in this episode, so we opted to divvy up the options. For favorite moments during the present time, Eren’s harsh tone with Hange garnered the highest amount of votes at 34.5%. Not far behind, 26.3% most enjoyed watching the 104th talk about Eren and what happened in Marley. Behind those two scenes were Hange asking Eren why he was talking to himself in the mirror (12.4%), and getting the small zevi crumbs at the end of the episode (8.2%).

WHICH MOMENT FROM THE KIYOMI FLASHBACK WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 192 responses

For the flashback where the Survey Corps meets Kiyomi, nearly half of the fandom (43.2%) were ecstatic to finally see the scene between Historia and Mikasa animated. 24% most enjoyed Eren’s rejection of Zeke’s plan in Historia’s defense. 14.6% were immersed in Hange’s dismay at considering making Historia continue the cycle of children eating their parents, and 12.5% were thrilled to finally see Mikasa reveal her tattoo to Kiyomi. 

Tfw you think MAPPA cut Kiyomi’s drooling scene due to tv lag and later you find out the scene was changed to something equivalent: O__O 

5head pixis made me laugh

WHICH MOMENT FROM THE RAILROAD FLASHBACK WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 193 responses

Eren’s confession at the end of the railroad flashback took the most attention from fans, with 41.5% enjoying that portion the most. 20.2% enjoyed the 104th all discussing who is most suited to inherit Eren’s titan. 19.2% got a kick out of seeing smol Armin chasing around smol Sasha, and 13% were happy to see Levi (and his annoyance that everyone is taller than him). 

Armin's :o face was just adorable! Had forgotten it from the manga

MIKASA REVEALS THE AZUMABITO CLAN SYMBOL AS A TATTOO ON THE TOP OF HER WRIST. THIS IS A RETCON FROM SEASON 1 WHEN WIT REPLACED THE BRANDING WITH EMBROIDERY INSTEAD. THOUGH THE TATTOO IS WHAT’S FAITHFUL TO THE MANGA (MIKASA’S MANGA COUNTERPART HAS ALWAYS HAD THIS), WAS THIS A GOOD DECISION ON MAPPA’S PART? 192 responses

When it comes to the tattoo retcon, opinions seem to be relatively mixed. 22.9% of respondents felt that the retcon was a good move, because they feel that faithfulness to the source material is the most important thing in an adaptation. 21.9% felt it was a mixed situation, because they appreciate faithfulness to the manga, but also prefer for things to have proper continuity. 20.8% agreed that it was a good move, but mainly because the embroidery was “lame and forgettable” anyway. At smaller percentages, 16.1% felt that it wasn’t really a big deal either way since the family symbol was acknowledged regardless, and 9.4% didn’t care at all.

Mix of 3 and last point

Yes because faithfulness to the source material is important and I don't think the existence of the embroidery means that the branding didn't also exist.

No: continuity issues in the anime, but Yes: the embroidery thing was stupid.

1) we never saw the embroidery being kept by mikasa 2) kiyomi could have thought they just found it and stole it from the shogun's descendants' tombs or something. we as manga readers know mikasa is truly a descendant of the shogun, but anime onlies would have thought it could be possible for kiyomi not to trust them. so a tattoo is the best choice

Yes, MAPPA made a good decision. The anime onlies probably don't even remember the embroidery thing anyway. 

Bruh, if I hadn't read the manga, I would've forgotten the Mikasa mom scene.

Options one and two.

HYPOTHETICALLY, IF ONE OF THE 104TH WERE TO INHERIT EREN’S TITAN POWER, WHO DO YOU THINK WOULD BE THE BEST OPTION? 191 responses

The notable majority of respondents feel that Jean would have been the best candidate to inherit Eren’s titan. At a distant second, people would opt for Armin to inherit Eren’s titans (perhaps because he is already a titan anyway). The rest of the characters were relatively evenly chosen.

WHICH “SHIPPY” MOMENT FROM THE EPISODE WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 193 responses

This piechart turned out to be very colorful. Nearly a quarter of respondents couldn’t choose just one moment, so they voted for “all of them.” Behind that, 14.5% most enjoyed the scene where Eren showed determination to ensure Historia wouldn’t have to be sacrificed, 13.5% swooned over Eren and Mikasa’s blushy glances at each other, and 11.9% most enjoyed Connie and Sasha’s increasingly awkward conversation about who’s the bigger idiot. 

I loved the Erehisu moments 

sasha and connie <3<3<3

Erehisu canon

MAPPA DIDN’T INCLUDE THE PART OF THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN ZEKE AND KIYOMI WHERE ZEKE EXPLAINS HIS PARENTAGE, WHY HE SOLD THEM OUT, AND CLAIMS THAT HE’S THE “TRUE ELDIAN RESTORATIONIST.” THOUGHTS? 192 responses

The conversation between Zeke and Kiyomi got shaved down quite a bit, losing the claim of Zeke being “the true Eldian restorationist.” 30.7% aren’t sweating about it and feel it’s something that will be included in a later episode. 27.6% feel that it’s removal isn’t a big deal. 18.7%, on the other hand, feel that losing that moment watered down Zeke’s characterization and would have preferred its inclusion. 8.9% don’t care. 

I feel it will be brought up next episode

I think leaving it out makes the moment with ksaver telling him to sacrifice his parents more impactful to the anime onlies.  

they may have prepared an anime original scene where this is explained, probably at some point. this chapter was loaded with tons of info

I think everything zeke is going to be saved for his big flashback after losing to levi

Maybe they'll include it at the part where Zeke has his flashbacks when he was injured by Levi.

MAPPA ALSO LEFT OUT THE PART OF THE 104TH’S CONVERSATION WHERE ARMIN THEORIZES THAT EREN WOULD BE IN CONTROL OF THE COORDINATE ONCE HE AND ZEKE MAKE CONTACT. THOUGHTS ABOUT THAT? 185 responses

Another dialogue that was axed this episode was Armin brainstorming about who would be in control of the Founding Titan if Eren and Zeke make contact with each other. 35.7% (a small jump from the previous question) feel that this, again, will be included in a later episode. 28.1% feel that its inclusion wasn’t wholly necessary. 18.4% feel that this fact was already obvious anyway, so it doesn’t matter. 10.4% feel that the anime will get to that point so quickly that the exposition isn’t necessary to begin with. 

Armin's motives don't necessarily change either way so I'm fine with the cut. I do hope it's mentioned later on though.

Every episode is only 25 minutes long, so some parts of dialogues need to be removed. 

I honestly think they're going to retcon this so zeke's reverse uno in chap 120 doesn't seem so wild

I do understand that they need to make cuts (and there's still to many manga chapters to fit in the rest of the season) but that one was really important bc they might not explain it fully later on

If they animate Zeke's backstory, it will be there. It would've been nice to show Armin still using his brain though.

DO YOU THINK EREN SEEMED MORE INTIMIDATING IN THE MANGA OR THE ANIME? 191 responses

Manbun Eren was introduced as being intimidating, cold, and generally mean. His outburst at Hange was the first of many examples of this behavior as he lashed out at them for having no good ideas. 65.4% of respondents felt that MAPPA did a much better job at portraying Eren as a much more intimidating figure than Isayama did.

IN RETROSPECT, DO YOU FEEL THAT EREN WAS TOO HARSH ON HANGE? 190 responses

Almost a total opposite from the previous pie graph, 66.3% of respondents felt that Eren was much too harsh on Hange, given the circumstances and their dwindling options.

DO YOU THINK THAT, EVEN AFTER READING CHAPTER 123, PARADIS COULD HAVE FOUND ANOTHER WAY TO RESOLVE THEIR ISSUES THAN THE PATH THAT EREN TOOK? 191 responses

One of the constant questions in the manga since the timeskip is “could there been another way?” 59.7% think it’s just a solid maybe, and that there’s no longer any way to know that now that Eren has stripped Paradis of all their options. 23.6% feel that the rumbling was the inevitable outcome against a world that would never give them a chance. 14.1% feel the opposite, however, and believe there was always another way, and that Eren didn’t give them enough time to figure it out. 

I wonder what would happen if eren talked about his future memories 

There is always another way than violence. The problem is that no one on Paradis was able to find it.

Maybe we will find out in the last 2 chapters, this might be correlated to a possible "the mist" ending that Isayama originally planned

Who even knows? All I know is that there was too much distrust, secrecy and mystery for anyone to get anything done before shit hit the fan and now here we are. I also think it was a huge mistake to keep Eren so isolated.

There's no good way and never only on path but eren choose one who solve the problem

WE’RE GONNA ASK THIS… WHO IS THE FATHER? 196 responses

The never ending debate of who the father of Historia’s child hasn’t slowed down since the introduction of her pregnancy, though the question has ultimately boiled down to whether the child is Eren’s or not. Only 33.2% of respondents seem to think so. 28.1% presumably feel that it’s not Eren, but are overall tired of this debate in general. 21.4% are firm in their stance that it’s the farmer. 13.8% just wish it had anything to do with Ymir and nothing to do with the other options. 

I’m tired of this whole damn debate... but it's the farmer

LEVI SEEMED MORE VISIBLY IRRITATED ABOUT HOW TALL THE 104TH HAVE GOTTEN IN THE ANIME. THOUGHTS? 192 responses

MAPPA animated this scene with their own take and made Levi more irritable in the anime adaptation than he appeared to be in the manga. Generally, half of respondents felt that both ways were effective and funny. 25.5% seem to enjoy MAPPA’s rendition of it more, while 18.2% prefer the original manga portrayal of Levi’s grievances.

THE TRAIN SCENE WHERE EREN CONFESSES TO HIS FRIENDS IS TREASURED BY MUCH OF THE FANDOM. DID MAPPA DO IT JUSTICE? 193 responses

For fans of the 104th in particular, this scene has felt like it’s taken 84 years to finally be animated. And very few were disappointed, with 56.5% stating that the scene was cute and they are content with it, and another 36.8% showing a little more enthusiasm, feeling that it was more beautifully done than they ever could have imagined. A handful felt it could have been better, but was still good, or just didn’t care. No one agreed that the scene was ruined.

DARK!CONNIE RETURNS! WHO DID HIM BETTER? 190 responses

Another highly anticipated moment… the return of Dark!Connie! MAPPA didn’t quite hit the mark on this one, with Connie’s aura in the manga still being much more preferable to manga readers than the way MAPPA portrayed him in the anime.

WHEN CHAPTER 108 WAS PUBLISHED, READERS WERE ASKED IF EREN STILL PRIORITIZED HIS FRIENDS. AT THAT TIME, THE MAJORITY BELIEVED THAT HE DID, ALTHOUGH THE LARGER HALF OF THAT MAJORITY FELT IT WAS TO A LESSER DEGREE THAN BEFORE THE TIMESKIP. WE’D LIKE TO ASK AGAIN, DO YOU THINK THAT EREN ULTIMATELY TOOK THIS PATH OF DESTRUCTION BECAUSE HE PRIORITIZES HIS FRIENDS? 190 responses

Overall, the majority of the fanbase believe that Eren’s actions are generally in the interest of his friends and their lifespan, though to varying degrees (38.4% feel he prioritizes them wholly above all else, while 34.7% feel that he prioritizes them, but to a lesser degree than he used to). 21.1% still think that Eren’s contradictory actions make it hard to come to a solid conclusion on this front. A handful feel that Eren has abandoned them completely and only cares about himself and his own freedom at this point. 

I want to believe that hes prioritizing his friends, but too many of his actions contradict that, like forcing them into the battle in liberio and sending titans after the alliance 

Eren wasn't able to save his mother and this fact still torments him. I think that his friends matter to him a lot, but there is something darker in him what causes all the mess he is doing. 

He’s selfish and doing whatever he wants.

DO YOU THINK IT’S POSSIBLE THAT EREN PUSHED HIS FRIENDS TO THE FRONT LINES BECAUSE HE ALREADY SAW IN HIS FUTURE MEMORIES THAT THEY WOULD STOP HIM, THUS KNOWING THEY WOULD NOT DIE? 188 responses

When chapter 108 was published, we hadn’t yet learned that Eren saw memories of the future and so we couldn’t speculate on such a thing. Now that we can, we thought we would ask. 42.6% believe that regardless of whether Eren saw his friends in those memories or not, Mikasa is correct in her belief that Eren simply trusted them to survive. 33% feel that he already knew that they would survive, which is the only reason why he dragged them to Liberio in the first place. 18.6% don’t want to say either way, and a small percentage believe Eren had no way of knowing about the fate of his friends. 

He said "I HOPE they will have happy long lives". It means he didn't see much.

WILL WE SEE THE WARRIORS + MAGATH AND COLT NEXT EPISODE? 187 responses

With things shuffled around, we still have yet to see the Warriors recuperating and planning their next move. Half of the fandom feel that MAPPA was waiting to put the focus back on Gabi and Falco before giving us this moment. 32.1% aren’t sure if we will get it in episode 70 or not. 14.4% think it’s something that will come later, and a tiny fraction think it will be cut entirely.

Need my warriors back

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 193 responses

The largest percentage (48.2%) went to the scene with Hange confronting Floch and the Yeagerists, though it is edged out by both of Gabi and Falco’s preview scenes combined (42% for the visit to the Blouse’s, and 9.8% for their scuffle at the river). 

Can't care less about to gabi and falco, it's the final season cut the filler please.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

I miss Sasha

No thoughts, anxiety only. 

Hope to see the cut scenes in the next episode

Maybe I'm the only one, but I'm not so hyped for this season anymore. Sure, I'll still watch all the episodes no matter what, and I don't think Mappa is doing a bad job. But it's just a good adaptation. For the anime-onlys, I'm sure it's great because they're discovering the story we already know, but for me, this season doesn't add much to the manga. I probably had too high expectations for this season... (I'm also watching/reading Jujustsu Kaisen from Mappa and I don't have that feeling at all, so I'm pretty conflicted)

The episode was fine but I had a feeling that it was going a little too fast. However, I'm not complaining because I overally liked it. I could finally see adult Historia. She looks different than her manga counterpart. In the manga she was more mysterious and mature, while in the anime she still has cute baby face. I think that the moment between her and Mikasa was sweet. I feel kinda tired of the whole "who is the father" theories. I think that people waste their energy on fights and debates. If I wasn't part of the fandom, I wouldn't even think of Eren having a child with Historia. They never had romantic relationship and their last conversation was far away from being loving. Eren is an amotional mess. He has never mentioned the child in his POV, he says that his friends and Paradis are the most important, so I will be surprised if all of sudden he turns to be a father.

The lightning around eren when angry at hange was amazing addition (I think it's new) and historias situation feels more real in the anime. (ps: hail ponytail mikasa is bea)

Did a great job imo, but I don't think it's possible to make it anywhere near 122 at this point

Scenes were great as usual. The pacing was a little bit jarring though. I don't know how anime-onlys will take it since we do have different perspectives given our forehand knowledge of the events.

Where's shirtless Reiner??

Good episode, can’t wait for Gabi and Falco’s realization next episode 

I wish everything from the manga could fit into the episode or that the episodes were longer.

There's really no where else I could've put this so I'll just put it here......lol. I feel like it's not as obvious in the anime how much longer Jean's hair has gotten sometimes (specifically during the railroad scene here) and I wish that wasn't the case.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 180 responses

Thank you to everyone who participated! 

[psychedelictrashpanda]

It’s been awhile, weird old blog with unspecified direction. How about more of me me me?

I finally did DMT again, and WOW. It’s been at least a full decade since the last time. I still didn’t quite “break through” enough to “meet the entities” again but mein GOTT was it healing. Speaking of God, we’ll get to that soon... But before smoking the dimitri, I was beginning to sustain a mania in slow motion with dissociatives again. Not to any extreme like I did with PCP long ago (btw, glancing at my Eyehategod poster, I realize that horror/metal fest when I was blasted on PCP the entire time was all the way back in 2013! It seems to much more recent, but the way these drugs interact with memory is very peculiar. or maybe it was the traumatizing effect of it and other things at the time that makes me block out and thus distort the time signature of the memory... I digress). And I don’t have the destructive tendencies I did in the past anyway, so I’ve never been apt to push it as far as I was when I was shooting up 3-meo-pcp and blacking out for days at a time. I mean, I did push it I suppose. For the main George Floyd protests I was loading up on a combination of things. Can’t even remember if that was my sober window between methadone detox and the suboxone I’m on now. But, I was combining bits of weird PCP offshoots with opiate offshoots (4-map iirc) and/or kratom with maybe a drop of benzo... straddling the line between going overboard and a “party dose” for lack of a better descriptor; between recreation and desperation. In retrospect, I was summoning the courage to act like my old self used to in these sorts of situations. That is, giving it my all, being novel about it, idk, summoning the spirit of Dr Gonzo I suppose (who, after reading his two books, was more slimey of a jerk than he’s presented in Hunter’s stories. well, I need to finish the Cockroach People book, he started getting into his attraction to underage girls as a young 20-something man himself and ugh, gross). My true wild & adventurous spirit has been hampered, weighed down with anxiety and depression and all manner of undiagnosed mental illness. Who knows if it’s more the drugs or the environmental factors that trigger drug use, but the spirit is tortured like Griffith in the torture dungeon, the heart is wrapped in a black grime guarded by the Beast of Darkness, the will is subordinated to authoritarian capitalist hegemony...

Where was I? Oh so I started suboxone for the second time in my life innnn... February I want to say. Last time I did it I was able to detox myself simply buying subs off the street, but I did it too quick. That’s been one problem, every time I detox rapidly it’s too harsh a push back into reality and I succumb to relapse less then a year into sobriety. The reason reality is harsh is the same reason my stance on anti depressants has been further cemented. I’ve articulated it better lately... Basically I believe it’s a weird solution to depression to force your chemical makeup into the right position to function properly in the same environment that caused it in the first place. “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” One of my conversations with a young college friend really illuminated why many don’t even consider this position. She was insistent there’s no cause of depression, you’re just born with a fucked up mind. Now sure, hereditary disposition is a thing, as a drug addicted child of an addict I should know. But for example she pointed to another friend with hard depression and was like “his life seems fine what explanation could there be?” But I put forth maybe his childhood of having to closet his homosexuality in a hard conservative family that had the possibility of disowning him if they knew about it contributed to that “natural chemical imbalance,” as it’s implied. YES, some people NEED it. But for the most part, it really seems to me to be what I’m gonna call the thyroid phenomenon. That is to say, a medical explanation for a small fraction of severely affected patients is used as a broad brush by the public to diagnose themselves. Forewarning: I am not fat shaming here, forgive the example. Dietary practices are a personal thing so my feelings are stronger as well. Anyway, it seems to me as soon as this thyroid malfunction became a hard biological explanation for obesity beyond the psychological, suddenly everyone was a candidate. It’s fine to think “maybe I have it” but when a growing and significant portion of the obese crowd started screaming they all had thyroid problems and can’t help themselves, when a teensy percentage actually do... well it sort of touches on the “addiction as a disease” narrative that’s never sat well with me. Addicts use the disease reasoning to skirt personal responsibility. I'm not denying it is a disease, but I believe calling it as such in the public discourse isn’t terribly constructive. (Okay, you’re seeing an opinion change in real time here... I changed my mind.) I was vehemently against the narrative, but I need to readjust to simply make people WARY of the narrative. As an addict, I could easily see myself using the excuse of it being a disease as a fatalist function; that is to say giving in, relinquishing personal control over my fate. Hereditary disposition, Rat Park, addiction as a disease... there’s also a severe lack of control it all conjures. Paradoxically, drugs can used to meticulously control your state of mind. I can’t control my desire to control myself?

God where was I going with this... Oh! God! May as well mention I’ve been warming up more and more to the spirit of monotheism beyond it’s structural and institutional dimensions. I could get deep into my recent past of not believing in the idea of a spirit, soul, etc. How the pendulum of my ideology swings between cold rationalism and loose spirituality, especially as I go through phases of rebellion against perceived oppressors. Growing up in a red state with a lot of Christian ideals, society around me was always telling me everything I seemed to like was the work of Satan. Naturally, I started reading into Satanism. I never self identified with occult-esque belief structures, except maybe chaos magick because it’s whole idea is to merge whatever practices work into something of your own, but I did staunchly identify as anti christian. Not a hard thing to do when you’re already a metal head, which definitely fueled the trajectory. Not to mention metal helped goad me into DXM use (thanks Velvet Cacoon ya bunch of goons), the first real psychedelic journeys I had. Because I never gave real consideration to myself having depression, I moulded my personal ideology around the symptoms it causes. Which is why for awhile after coming to terms with depression as a problem I probably have, I was only able to identify it in retrospect. I never felt it in real time because it was so old-coat to me, I adapted to it like an addict adapts to their drug of choice and ti becomes their world. So I would decide to skip social events, let my room get messy, watch only old comfort shows, etc... but only AFTER emerging from that state was I able to immediately look back and think “wait... I was doing all those things because I was depressed.” In the moment, it’s rationalized as “I don’t want to see these people for these reasons” or “I want to watch spongebob because it’s fun and an old favorite.” Rationalization, the concept of the west, serves as a detriment to the individual in a number of manners. This is one. I was a MASTER at rationalizing away my drug use. Statistically, more people die from this this and that, why be worried that I’m on this drug instead? Statistics quelled the perceived danger. It was also a formative tool in my skills of justification. I always felt I had to justify every action I took, but that’s getting back into family matters...

But why not bring that up? it’s a sore spot. I feel like the tables have flipped from my dad always saying “you all just think I’m an asshole!” to me thinking I’m the asshole. It’s too much to get into but I’ll touch on a couple important things... I’ve learned a major source of my anxiety is not being able to draw the boundaries between business and family and myself, because they’re not properly defined. When I’m told by my bossfather after explaining the distress I feel simply thinking about the family company, and he goes typically all-or-nothing when I touch on crucial issue and says “if you want out just tell me you want out”, I can’t separate between whether he’s saying it as a father or as a boss in the moment. He would say, “of course I just mean the company”, but where does company end and family begin? It’s also an intense pressure, maybe shame, simply typing this and thinking in the back of my head about someone who might read and think “what a spoiled brat, has a family company and blah blah.” But who put all that in my head? He says he’s changed from the days of putting immense pressure on me with the sort of sentiments that cause that shit in my head like always telling me how great I have it and all the opportunities, shit, I’m feeling it right now, the frustration and I can’t even identify these emotions. At least I am aware of them, that’s a huge milestone for me. But the only thing that’s changed is he sees me as a the broken mother fucker I am and treats me as such. Sometimes it’s nice, and sincere sympathy, other times his frustration with having to check his language all the time is palpable so it does no good to do so. The immense pressure, the intense urgency, the confusing complexity, all those market pressures haven’t changed. This is evident when we were driving somewhere and I suggested not worrying about the fastest route on the map because one minute isn’t a big deal and he insisted that one minute IS a big deal. Sweating one fucking minute indicates a mountain of reputational pressure. In a way, that one minute is putting business ahead of family, but I feel harsh saying it because as he’s pounded into my head the business is what allows the family to survive. Not to mention why put the crack head of the family above that one minute (not literal crack, but it was obvious as soon as he saw I was “fucking around” on ketamine he decided to not take me as seriously) Still, I’ve made my decision that survival reasoning is fucking bullshit already. He’s the one that wants a mansion and wants enough mailbox money for us not to have to worry ever again, so he’s the one deliberately creating the pressure. Maybe he hasn’t considered how hardened he’s become to those feelings after a lifetime in the street and in prison. I really feel for mom. She’s okay now, but her spirit... It’s part of the reason I can’t relax myself at home. He has always painted her as dead weight in the past, never getting a job, sitting watching TV, but he’s unable to connect the dots psychologically because we’re all layman that part of the reason she’s like that is because her actions have been demonized already so who the fuck she got to prove herself to? Same reason I fell into relapse sometimes. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t sort of deal. The damned if I don’t being the reputation of yourself you have to live with after getting sober. He says “don’t worry about it” but I couldn’t accept that because the reason he doesn’t trust me (never mind respect, that’s even further away) is informed by my past. I can’t complain that he never allowed me to contribute to a crucial decision like choosing the building for the dispensary, talking about whether we want a certain investor or not, etc, is because that’s not something to entrust to a druggie. I’ve always felt he let me play make-believe CEO and gave me an allowance for it, while telling me otherwise. He’d say “this is all for you” but he’s making the decisions that truly move mountains and then putting it on us. Which is why I have a hard time saying “I want out”, he can be a baby about things just as much as I am, and I fear he’d let his entrepreneurial drive be affected by my departure. Sigh, this is already getting to be a headache to think about... He’s tired. I’m tired.

There was also something I wanted to say regarding the role social constructs play in all this, but it’s getting long enough already. Suffice to say I’ve been getting into psychoanalysis lately and it’s scratching the right itch for knowledge and wisdom. I can see why Zizek is enamored with Lacan, and why it’s so important to mix it with Marxism. And not to toot my own horn, but what the hell... There are a lot of lofty ideas I’ve been coming across that are already parallel to ideas I’ve developed through my own life experience, and it makes me think I’m meant for this sort of stuff. If I’m lucky in my pursuits (not to put too much weight on the luck aspect), I’ll be a journalist of some sort. Articles, video essays, whatever. Need to rein in my indecisiveness and dispel FOMO tho.

Back to DMT. But not really. Earlier in the summer I got some straight Ketamine and it was also immensely healing. But it has a great abuse potential, especially for me, so it’s harder to “hang up the phone” after I get the message as TmK would say. It made me feel again, and start to understand what love is. Partly because it conjured all these lost feels I had for Kat. She’s great people though, I think I’d just stress her out too much. Idk. Whatever. My love life is a total mess. Anyway after I ran out I wanted more of course and stumbled on some DCK, a somewhat rare ketamine offshoot. Coupled with my increasing propensity to trip acid more than once a week, they started building on each other. I was happier and happier at home, but at work/fam was getting more and more distressed about my place in that whole show. In his show. Simply thinking about the company, especially after having read that article about procrastination and how much it resonated with me, caused me unnecessary levels of distress. Normally as quickly as I can feel that, my mind will tuck it away and bottle it up somewhere so I can go about my day. The problem with drugs is they cause you to act instead. So he was doing the usual “it’s so easy! you’ll have it made!” and I interrupted with this torrent of shit I’ve been holding back forever, and he would not yield on his “you didn’t let me finish...” Incidentally, has he really never picked up on every time I interrupt I already know what he’s talking about? I said as much, something like “it’s not the labor” and he keeps saying “no you’re not listening” as though a frivolous detail changed the main thrust of the fact he’s always trying to make it easier for me. I wish he could simply let me go off and have the strength to take it a little less seriously, but considering how often I take things personally I shouldn’t be surprised he does to. On top of this, his brother/my uncle was in the hospital for some serious shit. But another reason I picked this time is because I only feel safe even confronting him when non-involved parties are around. He doesn’t care that I don’t feel safe confronting him though, he says “don’t worry about me” so maybe I shouldn’t. I feel like such an asshole about it, but that feeling is conjured by the ideological structure he helped to create. Where does my shame end with him being the causation and start with my personal ideology? How much can a person create their own ideology, truly? It’s about as small a window as free will, I imagine.

SO after feeling awful for going off after having all this stuff build up in my mind, I felt awful and went home to drug up some more. Again, not recklessly to the extent I used to be. But I did a fat line of DCK while on a couple hits of LSD and a smidgen of Zolpidem (a wholly underrated substance). Everything was getting to me all at once. A perfect storm of my problems. All the while another doubt caused by ideology from without (society and family both) was making me think it’s all the drugs. But the developments I’ve made are huge strides, I’ve matured so much from it all. And I realized every time I do this, those developments are wiped clean because the validity of them is rendered null due to both the general social stigma of drugs and my history with them. And maybe that’s a major trigger fo rmy relapse in the past. I’m not suppose to be on drugs, but I dabble, have incredible experiences and make strides of maturity, but because it’s drugs the exact opposite effect is percieved from the outside; the experiences are simple chemical euphoria, the strides of maturity are false delusions. It triggers a sharp roll back down hill. I wish someone respected me for who I am, I feel so alone sometimes.

Drugs as an umbrella term, drugs as a vice for the worst dregs of society. There are so many problems in our world regarding drugs. I could write a book. But how much I’ve written here touches on another pressure I feel. IS it simply him again? When he asks “you’re gonna be gone in a few days right?” is that what’s making me feel like this is a waste of time? I’ve got to get out of here. It’s so hard though. I simply have to be strong. The strength is in me to take the massive cut to pay and benefits when I move. Maybe I’ll get a portion of my strugglers card back and shit heads like Blasey Shomas can’t simply say “why don’t you take care of yourself instead of daddy taking are of you?” anymore. Part of me wants to say he says that because he’s driven by his own emotions and not smart enough to directly debate my claims, his insults should hold no weight. Another part of me is truly trying to be... I don’t know a proper term for it without sounding egotistical, but “enlightened”? This is why monotheism is sounding more interesting to me. Jesus’ position about those dregs of society. I’ve always tried to be a trusting person, understanding of people’s struggles, the ideologies they function under that make them lash out or otherwise act the way they do, etc. I even changed my wording there from “I’ve always been” to “I’ve always tried to be.” Not so much for my usual reasons of dodging a committing claim (which I’m working on -- instead of “I think ___” just say what I believe to give the claim more sense of authority so as to be taken more seriously), but trying to be more humble. And not to think lowly and use myself as a punching bag like I used to... ugh, whatever. This post is messy enough.

So that night after having done DCK every day for a couple weeks and tripping every other night on acid, I was at my wits end on what to do, where to go next, everything. The outside world is crumbling, the inside world is lost. I finally whipped out that DMT I’ve had for a long while, something inside told me it was time. Oh duh it was the wits end part, I had no other chemical recourse. I sat in my bed with a foil sculpture loosely resembling a pipe, repeated to myself “it’s okay, just let it happen to you, it will be okay.” A part of me even had a small fear based on those rare reports of those interdimensional beings mentally raping some people, but I don’t know what to make of those experiences, seem like flukes. I took my three deep hits and set the pipe aside as soon as the rusb began and laid back. It wasn’t enough to break through, so I need to get a proper pipe, but it was enough for a “being” (which I am convinced is a part of your mind, not from another dimension or otherwise external source) to appear before me. At least I think. Whatever it was slowly came closer, reassuring me that I’d be okay. The most profound part was an overwhelming sense of all these puzzle pieces suddenly falling perfectly into place where they should be. As though the answers to all my struggles obvious and within me the whole time. For example as soon as I came back I adjusted my posture, as that’s something that I’ve been wanting to work on, and because I was reminded of that just now I adjusted my posture in my seat while writing this. I felt an overwhelming sense of forgiveness toward myself, I think. Amazingly, the inebriation I felt before the trip was largely dissolved, as though the stuff I was on somehow all lost it’s potency. The distresses melted away. At least, the power behind them was nulled. I’m still facing the same problems, but there’s a zen(?) quality to my thinking when they come up in my mind. No longer will a pin drop trigger everything I’m feeling all at once. When I came-to completely, I started BAWLING. In being overwhelmingly consoled by the trip, I became inconsolable. Tears of joy. Tears of healing. And that was the main takeaway. The loudest words of the experience were “Now the healing can truly begin.” At the same time, now the real work also begins. 

Balance is key

[princessbatears]

Could I please request 💥, 💎, 💐, and ✨? For the last one, could I get some HC’s about what happened when Frankie tried to tell his s/o they should leave him because he is a werewolf? Like he is obviously in love that trying to tell them to do that would have broken his heart. Thank you! 💙💙

Thank you so much for asking these! 🧡

💥 First fight/making up

The first fight you and Frankie have is when you’ve been dating for a couple months. It’s about his hat.

You don’t mind his hat most of the time, but when he shows up at your apartment to take you to a nice dinner wearing a suit AND that stupid baseball hat, you tell him he needs to leave it in the car.

He doesn’t want to. It hides his hair, which he can’t make lie smooth no matter how hard he tries.

“They’re not going to let you in the restaurant with it on.”

He gawks at you, wanting to know what kind of “restaurant doesn’t let a man wear his own hat?”

It is your exaggerated eye roll and condescending sigh that makes him shut down. His shoulders tighten, his mouth sets in a thin line, and you can feel him slipping into a void of repressed anger and insecurity.

“What?” you snap. No answer.

As he continues to drive in silence, you realize what an asshole you are. He is treating you to a fancy restaurant that’s completely out of his comfort zone and you’re chiding him for doing what he can to make himself more at ease.

“Turn around,” you say softly. “I just saw a Pizza Hut.”

Frankie glances at you, confused.

“I’m sorry for being a jerk.” You squeeze the hand that is resting on the gearshift. “I don’t want to eat somewhere that doesn’t let you wear your hat. Let’s go to Pizza Hut instead.”

The shy, dimpled smile he gives you melts your insides. “You sure? You’re dressed up real pretty.”

You lean over to kiss his cheek. “I can be pretty while I eat pizza.”

His laugh warms you all over. You know in that second that you’ll do whatever it takes to keep him laughing forever.

💎 Marriage

Your second wedding anniversary rolls around a few months after Frankie becomes a werewolf. Every full moon is less jarring than the last.

He’s never been much for grand gestures or even remembering dates, so when he tells you he wants to do something special this year to commemorate your marriage, you’re surprised.

Frankie’s thankful the autumn day falls during the new moon so he’ll be “mostly human.” You gently remind him that he’s always your husband, even in Wolf form, and therefore you don’t care what percentage human he is.

There’s some debate about how to celebrate. You still love the elegant, fine things in life, but you hate how uncomfortable he gets at luxurious hotels or restaurants. It matters that you BOTH have a good time.

Finally, he asks if he can surprise you. It seems really important to him to make this day special, so you agree.

When it rolls around, you’ve bought him a ‘make your own hot wing sauce’ kit. His love for hot wings borders on the obsessive, so you know he’ll relish making the most unbearably spicy Frankensauce he can come up with.

Of course, he’s ecstatic. That huge kid-like grin doesn’t leave his face as he examines the supplies over breakfast. You love knowing you nailed it.

You had hoped the two of you would head back to bed for some fun, but he excuses himself, citing “things to do” with a smirk.

It isn’t until lunch when he fetches you from your home office. You ask if you should put on something nicer. “It’s up to you. We’re going to the field.”

After opting to change into something slightly cuter than your grudge pants, the two of you walk towards the field on the east side of your house. Settled under the shade of a couple large bushes is an elaborate picnic.

There’s a beautiful charcuterie board with crackers, cheeses, sliced meat, olives, fruits, and dips. A bottle of wine is breathing near your favorite glasses. Tiny finger sandwiches are set on your grandmother’s heirloom serving tray. There’s even macarons in every color of the rainbow.

With his hands shoved in his pockets, he beams at your stunned expression. “Happy anniversary, babe.”

You kiss him soundly. “When did you learn how to do all this?”

Frankie shrugs. “There’s a lot of you still don’t know about me. Good thing you’ve got a few more decades to figure them out.”

Needless to say, he gets a very good reward that night.

💐 Family/Kids

You and Frankie know from the early days of your courtship that you both want children.

The plan is to start trying after getting a year or so of marriage under your belts. It is shortly before the werewolf attack on Frankie that you begin in earnest.

Becoming a werewolf puts all that to a halt. Too much is changing. Too much is uncertain.

To your surprise, it’s Frankie who broaches the subject of kids for the first time about 6 months after. “Do you think I’d still be a good dad?”

You embrace him, stroking his hair. “You’ll be the best dad. No other child will be so loved and protected.” He gets misty-eyed at this.

Within another 6 months, you’re carrying the first baby Morales.

The day your daughter is born is the happiest day of your lives. When Frankie holds her for the first time, he radiates a gentle fierceness, which may seem like an oxymoron, but you see in his eyes that he’ll never do anything to harm her and heaven help the person that might.

The first full moon after her birth is the stressful. He’s scared to be in the same house as the baby, but also afraid to go out unattended. When he begs you to lock him in the basement, you refuse. You tell him you’re not treating him like a monster.

Finally, you come to an agreement. You shut him in the bedroom until his transformation is over to see what his mood is. It’s the first time you’re not with him. It kills you to know he’s all alone and in pain. Still, you continue to listen to soothing music to drown out his yips so it doesn’t frighten your daughter.

When all noise from the bedroom ceases, you turn off the music and listen carefully. Nothing at first, then comes the softest, saddest whine.

There’s a brief surge of mama bear instinct that almost stops you from going to the door, but you push it away. Frankie has never ever tried to hurt you since that first full moon and the Wolf was incredibly gentle with you and your belly during pregnancy. He’s the father as much as the human part of Frankie is.

Unlocking the door, you push it open just a crack. Wolf Frankie is laying on the floor, chin resting flat on the carpet like a giant, hopeful dog. His tail wags excitedly when he sees you. “Hi, honey,” you smile.

Confident now, you enter the room. He rises to a sitting position and then stills again. The baby is sleepy, having just nursed, but her eyes widen slightly when she sees him. You’re pretty sure she can only see blurry shapes, but it’s definitely not a shape she’s familiar with.

He leans forward, snuffling her carefully. Then, he gives you a toothily grin, as if it say, “I still can’t believe we made her!” Tenderly, he licks her thick tuft of brown hair.

“See, you’re just fine,” you encourage. “Want to hold her?”

Frankie shakes his head, looking at his massive front paws uneasily. He could cradle her in just one of them. You don’t push it, understanding he needs to go at his own pace.

“How about you come hang with us in the living room and eat your steaks?”

This he’s more than willing to do. The three of you settle down for a lazy evening in front of the TV.

You have a son and a second daughter over the next 5 years, all of whom adjust perfectly fine to their werewolf father, much to his relief.

All’s normal until your eldest hits puberty and her eyes begin to turn amber the week before the full moon…

✨ Frankie trying to end the relationship because of his lycanthropy

After Frankie transforms for the first time, you’re both in shock. How had this happened? How COULD this happen?

It’s made even worse when the Wolf is too disoriented to realize you aren’t a threat to him and lunges at your hand as you reach to touch him.

When he returns to his human form, he can’t even look you in the eye. He doesn’t want you to be around him. The shame and fear he feels over making you cower is unbearable.

You try to convince him that he isn’t dangerous to you, that it’s totally natural for his Wolf to be frightened and you shouldn’t have invaded his space. But Frankie’s having none of it.

After failing to find a cure for lycanthropy, he sits you down and asks you for a divorce. He cries, explaining that you are the love of his life, that he would do anything for you, and it’s why he has to let you go. He can’t risk harming you again.

He’s never hurt you so deeply before. He is giving up on not only your marriage but himself. You won’t let him!

Your refusal to leave leads to your biggest fight ever. He lists all the reasons you should hate him, eyes wet and hands trembling. You scream at him that you stand by your vows to be there through all things and demand to know if he would leave you if you’d become the werewolf instead.

The only sound for a long beat is Frankie’s harsh breathing and your ragged sobs. Then, he looks at the floor and whispers, “No, I wouldn’t.”

You open your mouth to yell at him for his hypocrisy, but the feel of his arms around you stops you. It is the first time he’s willingly touched you in weeks. He presses his face into your hair. “I’m scared.”

“Me, too,” you admit, holding him as tightly as you can. “But we’ll figure it out together, just like we have everything else.”

Frankie Morales Masterlist Werewolf Masterlist

[lesbiancarat]

Lol its fine!! Reply whenever you can ^_^

But ahh true, true. Idk why I thought it would be a hint to the music lol but a sort og an evolution of the concept so to speak. Either way, am excited for the comeback because fresh svt is always iconic. Oohhh the concept photos are all pretty and idk which one to pick jfkshfjsjd. Like they are all very on brand for them but also unique and pretty. Very artsy haha.

Ahh yes, rabbitnwas forever iconic and it was what helped other places like discord to do similar things! But ah understandable!! Both seventeen and nct (when I was getting into kpop more) always felt like BIG well known groups due to their fandoms being so big at least to me. Especially when people always recommended their songs i just assumed they have been around for a while like bts when I joined only to realize they are still rookies. Monster rookies indeed!! The fact so many people love them is enough for me to say they are amazing, well respected and loved by many. Those comments annoy me, especially when people downplay their hard work by claiming 'bighit helped them get more famous' like what!? Yes bighit did help with getting more western attention per se but like downplaying as if they haven't achieved anything at all is confusing to me. Claiming how streaming fans aren't doing s good job to which im like one, mass streaming isn't healthy and two, fans who do try their best and we do beat records of our own. Seventeen isn't unpopular, just because they aren't you know who level doesn't mean they aren't big like do people forget what unpopular means?

Anywhoo, a day late but happy late birthday to our tiger King. May he forever rule the tiger land and take over the world with his tiger agenda lol.

yes! one side fits my aesthetic the best but all the concept photos were nice ^^

and yeah it is annoying but at the same time those people are so detached from reality that I'm just sort of like whatever djflgj like 'it's obvious to anyone who knows what they're talking about you're wrong so I'm not going to bother arguing w you' is sort of my mindset when i see those comments dhfkj bc if i don't think of it that way then i get angry easily. the way i see it bh/hybe definitely is helping SVT with western promotions but like. i don't think SVT/pledis would have been incapable of expanding into the western market on their own if they wanted to. but it's a given that it will be easier and faster with hybe bc they have connections and a reputation in the western market already established. honestly I'd guess that was one of pledis's main incentives for agreeing to the acquisition. but at the same time hybe and western media wouldn't give SVT the time of day if they truly were the flops some ppl try to claim they are lol

and yeah agreed, streaming culture can be super unhealthy. it's one thing to do it if you want to but at the same time don't be losing sleep over it or prioritizing it over your real life responsibilities. and definitely don't guilt trip and say a bunch of toxic things to others to get them to stream... i feel like it would be a lot healthier if fanbases just stuck to simply explaining, hey this is what streaming is and why it can be important (for like music shows etc) and here's how to do it properly if you choose to stream, and then just let people decide for themselves. there would still be people more than willing to do it, and without the guilt tripping maybe even more people would just find it enjoyable. but hey, what do i know? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i also think most kpop stans underestimate how many views from from casual listeners and fans vs hardcore fans/streamers. like streaming does make a difference, but not 100M views difference like some people try to act like it does. tbh there are a lot of groups that have a smaller core fanbase than SVT but get hundreds of millions of views bc they have a lot of casual listeners. you can even see it internally too: don't wanna cry is SVTs most viewed MV by a mile, it's the only one to pass 100M views, let alone 200M. and it has nothing to do w carats streaming dwc extra hard, it's bc it's arguably SVTs most well known song outside of the fandom. i see reactors all the time who react to it and say "oh i know this song! i had no idea it was by seventeen" and you can look at the comments section and see a bunch of people saying the song has a fandom of its own/even if you're not a carat you have to know this song

kpop stans also put too much emphasis on views imo and also equate views to popularity, which on the surface might make sense but isn't always the case. actually in terms of profit, groups/companies make the vast majority of their money off of album, merch, and ticket sales than they do off of views. but those are all things that are a lot harder to "sell" than views, because they actually cost money for the consumer, while you can watch an MV for free. hence why it makes sense that there are a lot of groups with hundreds of millions of views that get relatively low album sales. it's easy to convince casual fans and and listeners to watch an MV than to get them to buy something

and I'm not trying to diss other groups at all or try to say groups that consistently get 200M+ views are flops, they're absolutely not. I'm just trying to point out that kpop stans completely underestimate the amount of casual listeners that exist

but this is why SVT is honestly such a fascinating case. their MV views are nothing to write home about, and yet they're the second highest selling k-act at the moment and are in the top 10 if not top 5 highest selling k-acts of all time, their album sales are literally insane. a lot of people chalk it up to carats being bad streamers but like i said before, streaming isn't going to make a difference of hundreds of millions of views. this indicates to me that seventeen have a bigger core fanbase (ie people who call themselves carats and actually keep track of seventeens activities) but a smaller audience of casual listeners compare to other kpop groups. and i think a lot of people, carats, and non carats alike, pick up on this in some way or another but don't realize that's what's going on and it manifests in kind of weird ways sometimes

and this fact isn't something that bothers me, i actually think it's super important more than anything for SVT to have a strong core fanbase if what they're shooting for is longevity. but i do find it strange bc as i said, groups that do better with digitals than physical sales make total sense from a consumer standpoint!! so how did SVT end up like this!! it's so interesting for me to think about. i think i would have a better idea of why this is if i had been around since debut but alas

the only thing i can come up with is that SVT is better at retaining fans or like... getting fans invested in the group so people who become carats are less likely to be multistans? bc multistans play a huge part in both being and attracting casual listeners. they're the ones making video compilations and edits and content that includes multiple kpop groups, which is how a lot of non-fans get interested in other groups. whereas if someone is just a carat and making content for SVT the people most likely to watch that content is ppl who are already carats. i know im not the only one that's noticed it's kind of rare for SVT to be included in multistan edits and videos. which i don't blame anyone for, i think most of those people genuinely just don't stan SVT and they shouldn't be expected to include a group they don't know we'll or at all. at the end of the day ppl can make what they like. but it's interesting to observe as a general trend. but idk SVT potentially having a lower percentage of multistans still isn't really an explanation for why SVT doesn't have as many casual listeners bc those things kind of just go hand in hand. like either one could be the cause of the other one if that makes sense

ANYWAY sorry for the long reply but as i said the ratio of SVTs core fanbase vs casual listeners is a topic i find endlessly fascinating dhfmfj

[ladala99]

Lioden Vs. Wolvden Comparisons: Stat Gain and Use

Okay wow that was a big update on Lioden; one that renders some of the earlier comparisons outdated. Not this one, luckily. They said the core gameplay would stay the same, and I assume that includes how stats work.

Today I will discuss stats. They’re a lot more important in Wolvden than in Lioden, and gaining them works a bit differently.

Lioden

Stat Gain

Stat gain works very differently depending on each lion’s role.

Any pride member may gain stats through eating certain foods and playing with certain Amusement items.

Kings can gain stats through leveling up, playing Baoball, maxing out Impression while being Dreamboat, and they can gain Skill (and only Skill) through the PVP Territory game. Kings are the only lions in the pride that gain stats while leveling.

Lionesses gain stats every time they hunt.

Submales gain stats every time they patrol.

Cubs gain stats through Cub Training, but only get to keep them if they max out the Cub Training bar. If they don’t max out but are close, they’ll keep some of the stats they earned. Adolescents can also gain a much smaller number of stats through going on Hunts and Patrols with the older lions of their gender.

Cubs and Adolescents can both gain Skill any time the king Plays or Tussles with them.

Cubs will inherit a percentage of their parents’ stats except for Skill, which always starts at 1.

Stat Use

Stats don’t have very much use in Lioden, but it does have some uses.

The king’s stats are used during Battles in Explore, letting you make the first move if your stat of the relevant type exceeds the opponent’s, and probably some other calculations that happen in the background.

The king’s Skill is used during PVP Territory battles.

And the king’s total stats (I think?) are used during the May Championship event. Although for that event, you just want to be at the top of your bracket - not the best you can be.

I don’t know if Lioness and Submale stats have any affect on Hunting or Patrolling. They probably do, but the threshold for what’s “perfect” is pretty low once you have an established pride. I recall when I first started that my first Lioness couldn’t bring home anything until I Claimed some friends for her, but now I can send one Lioness out on a hunt on her lonesome and she’ll bring home two large carcasses. So either stats do matter or Hunting has changed since I joined.

Wolvden

Stat Gain

Food items will never give stats.

All wolves can gain stats through leveling now, but you can only level up to level 20 - that’s the maximum for any wolf.

Lead wolves can gain stats through Battling opponents within 2 levels of their level. I think certain non-battle encounters also give a stat point iirc.

Other wolves may gain stats through Hunting, Scouting, and I think Herbalism at least can give stats but I don’t recall. These stat gains are rare, unlike Lioden where they’re consistent. And these stat gains are always relevant to what they’re doing - they’ll gain a stat that helps them with their task.

Pups will inherit a percentage of their parents stats. The higher stat total the parents have, the lower percentage the pups will inherit to keep things relatively even. I do not know the exact point where the percentages lower, and my results were limited and were as follows:

Mother with 240 total stats, father with 790 total stats: Pups inherited 66% of the average of their parents’ stats.

Mother with 837 total stats, father with 861 total stats: Pups inherited 55-56% of the average of their parents’ stats.

Mother with 869 total stats, father with 889 total stats: Pups inherited 54-55% of the average of their parents’ stats.

People who bred with essentially stat monsters reported even lower percentage retention.

Stat Use

Stats are extremely useful in Wolvden. While Proficiency in any particular role is important, stats carry a good portion of the load, too.

For lead wolves, it’s pretty much just battling like in Lioden. Your dice rolls against opponents are raised or lowered depending on how your relevant stat lines up against the opponent’s. Useful, but not game-changing.

For Hunters and Scouts, though, the effect is huge. The starting biomes are fine, but once you move your pack or Scout farther, you’ll notice a huge difference.

When we tested for stats, my group’s range was 750-800 total stats (my breeding tests happened after this section of testing was finished but before we next wiped back to the start). Wolves with those sorts of stats, 150 in each stat type, were able to catch prey 50% of the time in Medium biomes, while my starter-statted (and low Synergy/Proficiency) Hunting team was able to catch absolutely nothing while there.

Higher stat wolves also help Scouting progress significantly, with the stat monster group able to fly through every biome and easily reach the farthest reaches of the map in a few days. As opposed to starter Scouts, which don’t have enough stats to Scout the farthest biomes even at 100% energy.

This is why your map will blank out when you change leaders - as you progress in the game, it’ll be easier and easier to unlock everything again, and it keeps Scouts useful.

I don’t know how stats interact with Herbalists and Pupsitters. I think Pupsitters at least are only based on Proficiency. Herbalists might have shorter medicine-creation times with higher Wisdom, but it might also just be Proficiency.

My thoughts

Stats being useful>>>stats not being useful. I mean, I introduced personal challenges for my Lioden pride just to give stats some use.

Stat gain is a lot easier in Lioden, but it makes sense for stats to be harder to gain when they have more uses.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

IF THIS WAS THEIR HYPOTHESIS, IT'S NOW BEEN VERIFIED EXPERIMENTALLY

Honestly, Sam is, along with Steve Jobs, but he may be the best writer among Silicon Valley CEOs. Maybe an organization that helped lift its weight off a country could benefit from the resulting growth. But the more investors you have in a round, the founders almost always still have control of the company. So I think VC funds are seriously threatened by the super-angels by driving up valuations. Now when one thinks of what Microsoft does to users, all the verbs that come to mind begin with F. If widely used, auto-retrieval would only be practical for users on high-bandwidth connections, but there seems a decent chance it's true. Inc recently asked me who I thought were the 5 most interesting startup founders of the last 30 years. Same story in 2004. Because depending on the meaning of quickly, it could either be a bug or a new discovery. If investors are easily convinced, the startup funding business is now in what could, at least by comparison, be called turmoil.

American. Live by the channel, die by the channel: if you depend on an oligopoly, you sink into bad habits that are hard to overcome when you suddenly get competition. Whatever the cause, stupid comments tend to be run by programmers. The no man's land between angels and VCs is the amount of your company, if they merely failed to get those few big winners. How will this all play out? And if Battery Ventures hadn't turned down Facebook, Boston would be significantly bigger now on the startup radar screen. The basic idea behind office hours is that the customer doesn't want what he thinks he wants. Apple's competitors now know better. Work Day.

And although the super-angels make more investments per partner, they have less partner per investment. It's just not reasonable to expect startups to pick an optimal round size in advance, because that was where their peers were, and investors would appear too, because that means we're going to have novel consequences. One of the hardest parts of doing a startup is the percentage chance it's Google. But interesting, and finished fairly quickly. If someone had launched a new, spam-free mail service, users would have flocked to it. Next time you're in a moderately large city, drop by the main post office and watch the body language of the people working there. But we didn't propose that to save money. Companies spend millions to build office buildings for a single purpose: to be a good idea to have a stateless algorithm. And I was a Reddit user when the opposite happened there, and the best stuff prevails. I was living in New York when Giuliani introduced the reforms that made the broken windows theory famous, and the site rules discourage dramatic link titles. The country is shifting to the left or right in their morning-after analyses are like the financial reporters stuck writing stories day after day about the random fluctuations of the stock after using the first half of the stock market.

It just made me spend several minutes telling you how great they are. And not just for the obvious reason that more competition for deals means better terms. When we want to make a car better, we stick tail fins on it, or make the windows smaller, depending on the current fashion. I do actually typing. The huge volume of the spam, which has so far worked in the spammer's favor, would now work against him, like a branch snapping back in his face. You've made something you need to do. Pump out a million emails an hour, get a million hits an hour on your servers. But if you're looking for companies that will get bought. This one wouldn't. It's the principle of a market economy.

How do you decide who's the most interesting? One way to guess how far an idea extends is to ask yourself at what point you'd bet against it. They're obsessed with making things well. What does that mean for founders? There are just two or three articles on individual people's sites for every one I read on the site of a newspaper or magazine. Race you. Hence what I call the Fluff Principle: on a user-voted news site, the links that are easiest to judge will take over unless you take specific measures to prevent it.

Initially it was supposed to be a harder problem than bad submissions. From the start they had a policy of censoring nothing except spam. So for now this is something startups are deciding individually. But I don't think that's a bias of mine. To me the most demoralizing aspect of the traditional office is that you're supposed to be there at certain times. Deadlocks weren't the only problem with fixed-size equity round with a lead makes sense, because there is usually just one big investor, who is unequivocally the lead. Nor is there anything new, and if you want to be the first to make something, it helps them be decisive. Google was indistinguishable from a nonprofit. If you start from successful startups, you find they'd often make good startups.

In any purely economic relationship you're free to do what you want and publish when you want. It's grown bigger and taken up more time than I expected, but I resent being told what to do next, but I'll probably think of something. Founders would start to move there without being paid, because that was where their peers were, and investors would appear too, because that was where the deals were. If a super-angel has some of the qualities of a VC. But when you examine that election, it tends to support the charisma theory more than contradict it. But as I thought more about this project, I realized it would probably have to be a spam url, so submitting every http request in every email would work fine nearly all the time. Pundits said Carter beat Ford because the country distrusted the Republicans after Watergate. If your work requires you to talk to other people in the Valley is watching them. Anyone can adopt Don't be evil. If a link is just an empty rant, editors will sometimes kill it even if it's on topic in the sense of being about hacking, because it's easier than satisfying them. The fact that super-angels.

And while the concept of insanely great already existed in the arts, it was a pain to fund with grants and donations. Though this election is usually given as an example of the power of TV, Kennedy apparently would not have won without fraud by party machines in Illinois and Texas. Because they're good guys and they're trying to help the world. Dukakis, Gore, and Kerry were so similar in that respect that they might have been brothers. It's not a charity, but they may not always be. If they accepted it, it wouldn't be read by anyone for months, and in the meantime I'd have to fight word-by-word to save it from being mangled by some twenty five year old copy editor. If widely used, auto-retrieval would only be practical for users on high-bandwidth connections, but there seems a decent chance it's true. Meaning that when the note converts into stock in a later round, or upon acquisition, the investors in that round will get. But because the imaginary machine was always running, I felt I always ought to be working.