#it’s just so fucking frustrating. i have 681 followers on Instagram. over 80% of those are inactive accounts. the rest I would say is -
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#it’s just so fucking frustrating. i have 681 followers on Instagram. over 80% of those are inactive accounts. the rest I would say is -#-roughly 15% friends and family. and the other 5% is people who actually followed me cuz they liked my art#and I get about 20-30 likes a post. almost all of that is friends and family yet again. with a few stragglers that aren’t. and then of -#-course there’s bots in there too#and the reason I don’t clear out these accounts is cuz I know that once I do I’ll see how many people are left that actually do care. and -#-it’ll make me feel even more like shit than I do now when I see that#but oh ho ho this little 14 year old with toxic twitter brains is out here with a 5k plus following and their future basically guaranteed -#-in the art field#and a huge percentage of the time they’re like. fine! they’re not even good just FINE. like I am OBJECTIVELY better than them in many cases-#-and yet!!#but that’s not mentioning when these literal middle schoolers are actually amazing talented gifted artists#like I don’t understand. when I was your age my art was ass. it still is compared to how you’re drawing#i draw literally all the fucking time I’m constantly practicing and trying to test my limits but it never makes me any better#do I not fucking practice enough. am I supposed to draw until I get a goddamn carpal tunnel so I can even compare to this asshole kid on -#-twitter or instagram?? i dont fucking understand and I’m so over it#every time this happens I want to slam my head into a wall until I get brain damage and fall into a coma and never wake up#i want to fucking smash my head with a rock and my brains splattering the pavement will be my final awful art piece for this world to see#this is the only thing I have and yet I can never get the validation I crave and need and I’m not even good at it anyway so I probably dont-#-even deserve it in the first place#I’m so over this shit#vent
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