#and Wei Wuxian would crush that shit

[boarloved-art]

We are so fucking back. i have many thoughts abt mdzs The Chase and ur getting them all. anyway.

xichen is the host. bradley walsh was the host once upon a time, as in real life. bc i cant erase an icon. but i CAN have lan xichen take his job.

the chasers are qiren (because its objectively crazy if the chase accidentally becomes a lan family business), guangyao, madame yu, wen qing, and later on wwx (and he ABSOLUTELY has his chaser Gimmick be the yiling patriarch. gotta fit it in there somewhere.)

the above image is incorrect. jiangcheng absolutely does not fucking make it to the final chase. he gets out SO fast. hes overconfident and goes for the high offer and then the first few questions are so niche and he gets his ass kicked (by wen qing!)

huaisang spends so much of the episode being like 'noooo im so bad at quizzes i dont know anythingggg' but then he bags a solid cashbuilder AND successfully gets the high offer. then he promptly realises hes set everyones standards high and decides hes gonna do nothing for the final chase.

wangji is only on the show because xichen thought this'd be a great friendmaking experience and 'nooo wangji youre so smart itll be fun ur good at trivia!'. wangji walks onto the set of ITV's The Chase a regular bookshop worker from wales, and leaves the set with a massive crush on an emo Ex-HMV-Employee-Now-Asda-Employee from the north of england (wuxian and jiang cheng are so newcastle to me, but wuxian moved to hartlepool, which is the burial mounds)

jiang cheng is, sadly, an arsenal fan

if i drew wwx on the chase would u guys get mad at me for pushing the uk-ei wuxian agenda again

[begrudginglytumbling]

Rival nature documentary hosts.

(Bear with me as I am very tired right now and typing this out on my phone without my glasses on)

So Lan Wangji is your calm, patient, David Attenborough-y type that is just a delight to listen to. He teaches you things, he soothes anxiety with his voice and demeanor, he has a blatant soft spot for anything even vaguely related to bunnies.

Wei Wuxian is more of your Steve Irwin type. He gets overexcited, he handles everything (in appropriate ways of course so the animal isn't stressed), and yes he teaches you things, but at the same time you're just waiting for something to kill him.

The Wens are his team, Jiang Cheng relinquished custody of him after one to many close encounters (he does, however, have a bet in the production team's betting pool of what will finally kill Wei Wuxian, his money is on a penguin pushing his brother off a cliff (Wen Ning thinks he's going to choke on a butterfly, but don't tell Wen Qing he's part of the betting pool))

WWX: look at this! Isn't it amazing!

Wen Qing (long suffering): Wei Wuxian do not kiss the deadly scorpion. Put. It. Down.

Anyway something something rival shows, having to team up for a charity show or something.

Wei Wuxian loves Lan Wangji's voice and style, but don't you just want to get your hands on the animals?

Lan Wangji loves Wei Wuxian's enthusiasm and his ability to get the younger generations interested in nature but dear gods put that down Wei Wuxian it can kill you!

Anywho they bond over a bunny bite or 'how did you manage to piss off a tortoise Wei Wuxian? A tortoise' or something that sends one of them to hospital.

And, yeah, I just want some nature doc WangXian.

[allpiesforourown]

Okay here's my Lan Qiren apologist masterpost

"He had Lan Wangji whipped! He's an abuser!"

That was Lan Wangji's punishment for injuring 33 Lan elders while defending a demonic cultivator who caused innumerable deaths in the cultivation community. You need to remember the setting of this story: Madame Yu whipped Wei Ying half to death just because she went "you didn't do anything wrong, your general existence is just mildly annoying to me." Lan Qiren deciding Lan Wangji get one lash for every person he hurt is NOTHING in comparison to the punishment he would have gotten if anyone else was in charge and it was the only way to clear his name.

2. "The Lan sect rules he enforces are too strict."

First of all, Lan Qiren is an old Asian person. I feel like that would be enough to make my point, but I will continue regardless.

The Lans have so many rules because they have extreme self-regulation issues when it comes to their emotions. We've seen Lan Wangji's dad ruin his life by trying to atticwife his lover, but Lan Wangji wasn't any better. If you've read the incense burner extra you know he got his first crush at 15 and his brain immediately went to fantasizing about violently assaulting Wei Ying in the library. Their hundreds of rules are stifling because they're supposed to be. If the Lans don't try to contain themselves they will ruin their lives and the lives of people they care about.

Is "don't talk while you're eating" even that extreme of a household rule? Like every family has some variation of "don't do ____ at the dinner table" and the Lans having their own version is not that insane.

3. "He was against Lan Wangji loving Wei Wuxian."

I need you to spend like. 2 minutes putting yourself in Lan Qiren's shoes.

Imagine you are Lan Qiren. Imagine you find out your brother broke his family apart by forcing his wife to stay with him. Lan Qiren was just a man who was thrust into not only taking care of the Lan clan, one of the biggest cultivation sects you can think of, but also his two traumatized nephews. Imagine cleaning up the mess your brother left you while having to raise two children that aren't yours.

Then you see your nephew, who you have raised like your own son, helplessly pining after the infamous demonic cultivator who has rejected him and teased him. You watch him turn against and injure his own family members to protect a literal criminal.

Then he comes home holding the child of the man he loves and you let him keep that baby and raise him. Because you see yourself in him. You see someone who just lost a loved one who was not a good person but someone you loved regardless. How many times do you think he saw Lan Wangji raising Lan Yuan and remembered himself raising someone else's children because their father was no longer there?

And then after all that Lan Qiren had been through, he didn't even try to keep Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian apart once he found out the truth. When Wei Ying explained how he'd been set up, he was one of the first elders in the cultivation community to give him a chance to explain himself. And after that even if he was cold to Wei Ying, he didn't say shit about the two of them having nasty loud gay sex in gusu every night.

I don't care. Lan Qiren hate will always be forced to me, he did literally nothing wrong and if I was in his shoes I would not have been able to handle it

[lovewanxian]

All the Lan juniors (except Sizhui who is silently Suffering) have badly hidden crushes on Wei Wuxian, after all he's very pretty, very charismatic and funny and a genius. How could they not get crushes on him?

Everyone knows about the juniors' crushes .... except Wei Wuxian. Not because the juniors are good at hiding their crushes for him, even in his presence. But because Wei Wuxian is convinced the juniors are actually crushing on his husband (which they Also are but nonetheless), for why would anyone crush on him when Lan Zhan is right there?

So the following scenario is a common one to see in the cloud recesses:

Lan junior 1, staring at wwx: omg he's so beautiful!

Lan junior 2, sighing: if only he wasn't married

Wwx, overhearing and getting the wrong idea: sorry kids, Hanguang-jun is mine, and I'm not sharing! *continues on his way, oblivious to the blushing and sputtering kids he left behind*

Lwj, following wwx: *gives the juniors the Death Stare of Jealousy™️*

Or:

Wwx: its so nice to see so many young people suddenly gain an interest in talismans!

His full class of Lan juniors: *thinking very horny thoughts, twirling their hair and drawing hearts in the margins of their notes* yeah its sooo interesting when you teach it!

Wwx, thinking: they must have heard Lan Zhan was gonna be my assistant for this class!

Lwj, sitting in on class to guard his husband against the juniors: *breaks the pen in his hand*

Or:

Wwx on a nighthunt, being competent as shit and very sexy as he goes full Yiling Patriarch on the monster of the week: you guys are even more uncoordinated than usual!

The Lan juniors: *running into trees and each other, stumbling over rocks and their own weapons while too busy staring at wwx*

Lan juniors: *experiencing several near death experiences so that wwx will save them*

Wwx, thinking: I shouldn't have brought Lan Zhan with me, obviously he's too pretty for the poor juniors' attention span

Lwj: *grip on Bichen tightens*

[askew-d]

how i think mdzs characters would communicate through text

[they’re almost all teachers in a school and wangxian isn’t together yet]

wei wuxian: lan zhaaaan can u plz cm over i tbink smn1 stabbed me 😔😔😔😔😔 hury up i want to 6 ur face b4 i faint er-gege i miss uuuu 🥰💗💗😍😍❤️💕💕💝💕💕❣️💘💖😘😘😚😚

lan wangji: Wei Ying? I’m on my way. [appears in a helicopter, with twenty doctors ready and a blade]

jiang yanli: A-Xian, I am preparing lotus and pork ribs soup for you. Please, take care and behave while jiejie doesn’t arrive 😘

jiang cheng: the idiot almost died again??? lol at this point not even god likes him just die already or smth

lan xichen: I’m sending my best wishes of recovery for your definitely-not-life-partner, Wangji 🙏🏼 ☺️ If you need anything, you can just call me!

lan qiren: Wangji, you better tell me you are not in Wei Wuxian’s house right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [20 missed calls]

jin rulan: You had that coming for you! ………….. Me and the group are coming over with medicine. Don’t think that means I forgave you for calling Fairy fat!!! 😠

lan sizhui: Xian-gege, are you okay?? I was so worried!! But I’m glad Lan-laoshi is with you. We are coming over with treats, please be safe 🙏🏼❤️

lan jingyi: wei-laoshi!!!!!!! please don’t chase after the light 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 you’re the only teacher who can dance macarena!!!!!! who will teach us chemistry shit we dont understand now,????? who will sing never give you up during the school final year with us??????? pls dont be dead your favorite juniors are coming over!!!!!!!!!

ouyang zizhen: i cant believe you’ll have a whole month of leave so you can spend with your crush, wei-laoshi 😭 so lucky!! so romantic!! 💗 just dont die on him ok i’ve heard it causes something called trauma

nie huaisang: Wei-xiong, it wasn’t me who orchestrated this, I swear!!!! I know nothing!! well, last time…. well yeah last time it was kinda my fault but this time it was not!!! I’ll even send you some fine books I read this month, please don’t come after me!!!! 😰

wen qing: bitch…….. u better be joking

wen ning: Wei-gongzi 😮😢 I know you have Lan-laoshi…. but if you need anything….. I’m at your orders….. 🙏🏼

song lang: I bet it was Xue Yang. Crafty bastard.

xue yang: hahahahahhahahhahahah hahahahahahahahah if it were me i would hv gutted him deeper 😈😈😈

xiao xingcheng: *intuitive typing* F.

[whetstonefires]

So I was thinking about that passage where we hear about how Jiang Fengmian got so excited that Jiang Cheng was willing to be friends with Wei Wuxian that he hugged Wei Wuxian, and this broke 8-year-old Jiang Cheng's heart, because he loved to be held by his father, but his father almost never held him.

(Which led to Jiang Cheng kicking Wei Wuxian out and threatening to sic dogs on him, which made Wei Wuxian panic so badly he went and hid up a tree from these entirely hypothetical dogs, and Jiang Yanli went and found him, and then found Jiang Cheng in a hole and had to carry them both home, and their relationship was sealed by a mutual pact to hide the whole episode from both parents.)

Because the thing is, Jiang Cheng very much had something to be upset about! Wei Wuxian was a treasure and a joy to his father, something recovered beyond all hope, everything he could want in a disciple and the last remainder of the person or people he'd loved best.

And Jiang Cheng was a duty.

That was the entire reason for his existence: he was born out of his parents' obligation to produce a male heir for the Jiang.

Jiang Fengmian takes his duty seriously, but finds in it no joy, and that joylessness informed his relationship with his son at every turn.

And this is the same kind of tragedy as every other in this book. Because it's not that Jiang Cheng's father didn't love him, wasn't visibly fond of him; if there hadn't been this other person here he actually liked, the absence where he struggled to connect with him would have been felt, but it would have been less crushing.

...then, too, if his mother hadn't built that rivalry up the way she did, it would have hurt Jiang Cheng a lot less.

And been less of a thing! It's painfully obvious a lot of the aversion and distance between them is a product of Yu Ziyuan running in and screaming at her husband about how he's the worst and everything is about her at unpredictable intervals.

And of course, it's a lot harder to figure out how to compensate for your own partiality when you're also, simultaneously, trying to compensate for the partiality of another person who keeps insisting the only way to uphold the natural social order is to engage in systematic child abuse. The degree to which you cannot objectively handle a complex emotional situation while someone keeps yelling at you that you should do something morally repugnant or you're Bad cannot be overstated.

I really appreciate Yu Ziyuan as a character, but the heights of her incompetence and active malice as a parent are staggering.

But I was just reflecting on Jiang Fengmian's basic failure to grasp, right out the gate, that his eight year old was parched for affection and that giving more of it to someone else in front of him was going to hurt him. And I was like, haha that's only child behavior right there.

And then I was like. Holy shit. It is only child behavior! Like. Jiang Fengmian was an only child!

Like, duh, but that makes him a serious outlier! Most of the major characters in this story have siblings! It's an outrageously sibling-dynamic-driven book. Yu Ziyuan has at least two elder sisters, and could have any number of brothers or younger sisters--no shit she instinctively interpreted this situation through a lens of sibling rivalry!

Meanwhile that's going right over her husband's head because he's just like, okay going to vicariously live out my childhood fantasy where Changze got all the same advantages as me. 💖😊

[lgbtlunaverse]

A slightly unhinged case for jin guangyao knowing about the core transfer while WWX was still alive

Ok. SO. In chapter 101, during guangyin temple, Jin Guangyao clearly knows about the golden core transfer. He uses it to bring Jiang Cheng off-kilter and stab him and simultaneously reveals to wwx that jc himself now knows about the golden core transfer.

I've always wondered exactly when he figured it out. The most obvious explanation is that he pieced it together after hearing about Jiang Cheng asking everyone to unsheathe suibian (also? jgy? how the fuck do you know that? You were already going to/at Guanyin temple at this point! Did you just have people listen in on rumours from Yunmeng and report back to you for that?? Did you tell your spy network where you were going? My whole kingdom for a retelling of this arc from the pov of these random jin disciples seeing their sect leader start spiralling. He's diggin up random tombs? Fleeing the country? And threatening the heir's life?? What was random Jin cultivator #6 thinking of this before Nie Mingjue turned him into minced meat?)

BUT.

The first time I read that line I was like "oh so he's known for a WHILE." I mean, the line "I've always found it peculiar [that wwx never took his sword anywhere]" does indicate he's been thinking about this for a while, but it doesn't have to mean he knew back then. So I absolutely can't say with certainty that my instinct was right. But I DO have some decent canon backing for how he might have potentially figured things out as early as before Wei Wuxian's death. Specifically, after the discussion scene that takens place when wei wuxian does his thing with the wens and dissapears.

Cause, see, Wen Chao would definitely have bragged about Wen Zhuliu crushing Jiang Cheng's core to his father. He killed the current sect leader, and then permanently disabled the only heir. He did it! the Jiang are gone! I bet he was very loud about it until, a few weeks later, Jiang Cheng suddenly strolls up to the battlefield, with Zidian on his finger, cultivation very much intact, looking for Wei Wuxian.

That must've been fucking baffling if you were Wen Chao and/or Wen Zhuliu and/or any other cultivator who was there and definitely saw Jiang Cheng's core get crushed. They must have assumed something went wrong, or he faked having his core destroyed, but we've never heard of something like that happening before, and they tortured him for hours! It wasn't a quick batle where Wen Zhuliu must have missed in haste, he would've noticed!

Now, by the time Meng yao arrives, wen zhuliu and wen chao are both long dead, but that kind of thing would at least still be a source of gossip among the other Wen. The only time the core melting hand ever failed!

It might be something that, say... a very careful spy with a perfect memory looking for information... might pick up on in his stay with the Wen, no?

So, Meng Yao has heard the rumour that sect leader Jiang got his core crushed but somehow managed to... still have a core.

Independantly of his, Wei Wuxian is being really weird and refusing to carry his sword. His primary concern there is wwx stirring shit up, he has no reason to believe these things are connected yet.

But then Wei Wuxian runs off with a bunch of Wen, and before he is cut off, Jiang Cheng tells everyone that after the siege on lotus pier, he and wei wuxian were helped by Wen Qing and Wen Ning! Jiang Cheng doesn't get to say how, which is good for jgy in this moment because he's trying to steer the conversation as such that no one gets mad at the Jin sect for all the war crimes, but even if his goal is for everyone else to forget Jiang Cheng said that, he'd remember it.

So... after the moment where jiang cheng, according to rumours that were contained to the wen, lost his core, he was helped by wen ning and wen qing, who is a really good doctor. And, in canon, had written theoretical proposals on core transfers before, just never experimented on them. Were these available for others among the Wen to read? Did jgy read them? We have no way of knowing. But if he did, he remembers them. Either way, he knows her reputation.

And Wei Wuxian disappeared right round that same moment, only to resurface with his demonic cultivation, at which point he never touched his sword again. Not even in the middle of a dangerous war. Not even when he was public enemy number one and it would do wonders for his reputation if he was seen cultivating the traditional path. When doing so would have made not just him but the 50 people he was shielding safer! if Jin guangyao was somehow in his position, he'd immediately do everything he could to counteract the narrative of beign a dangerous madman who'd left the straight path. Wei Wuxian has been in absolutely desperate situations and still refuses to pick up his sword...

The saying doesn't exist yet, but i'm sure someone like jgy, more competent than everyone around him, is intimately familair with at least the sentiment of "never ascribe to malice what is adequately explained by incompetence" He is helping spread the narrative of Wei Wuxian as a violent madman, sure, but does he believe it? If it makes no sense for wei wuxian, no longer a privileged young master but an outcast, to not pick up his sword again out of arrogancy, the most reliable explanation is that he... can't.

So Jiang Cheng, who got his core melted, got help from Wen Qing, an incredible doctor, after which he coud cultivate just fine but Wei Wuxian, no matter how desperate, never used traditional cultivation ever again...

Hm. interesting!

It's likely no one else in the jianghu outside of the wen even knew Jiang Cheng lost his core to begin with. And Jin Guangyao was never given wwx's excuse of Baoshan Sanren owing him a favor like Jiang Cheng was. He has all the puzzle pieces in front of him and... if anyone as gonna put them together, it'd be him.

And that's my unhinged case for why I believe Jin Guangyao knew Wei Wuxian didn't have a golden core anymore years before anyone else did. He just never told anyone, because why would he?

I think this adds a whole other level to his speech to Jiang Cheng about how everything could've worked out if he'd just trusted Wei Wuxian more and stood by his side. He saw it all play out in real time knowing there was more going on beneath the surface!

Now the really interesting question becomes: When did he figure out Jiang Cheng himself wasn't in on it? Did he piece it together immediately from remembering seeing jiang cheng berate wwx for not carrying a sword, a thing he should've known he couldn't do? Or was it not until later, maybe the fake yunmeng bros fallout, or the REAL fallout when Jiang Yanli died? Or was it still the news of Jiang Cheng going around and asking everyone to unsheathe subian that made him realize that oh my god this stupid bitch had no idea the whole time.

[shiroandblack]

This is a very random thought I had that I'm going to burden anyone who ever reads this with:

Lan Wangji is freakier than Hua Cheng.

He is the definition of the "is somebody gonna match my freak?" song. I guarantee that if Lan Wangji's thoughts about Wei Wuxian were broadcasted aloud all the time, he would've been expelled from the Cloud Recesses very early on. I'm talking about the time when they were 15 years old and everyone was basically a guest disciple.

The only reason Hua Cheng seems freakier is because Lan Wangji is quiet. 16-20 (I can't even fucking remember his age at the time) year old Lan Wangji who comes from a clan who idealises repressed emotions casually shoved his blindfolded crush into a tree bark, held his hands above his head, and kissed the living daylights out of him.

Would Hua Cheng ever do that to Xie Lian, considering the dynamics they had at the time? Absolutely not. Yes, Hua Cheng does something similar but that's really only after both of them sorta admitted their feelings to one another. Lan Wangji did this with full understanding that Wei Wuxian may not return his feelings.

Also, the shit that Lan Wangji gets up to after Wei Wuxian is revived with Wei Wuxian not understanding that Lan Wangji was in love with him? Lan Wangji was biting this dude, tying him up with his forehead ribbon, sharing a bed/room with this guy, fucking in a bathtub. All this before Wei Wuxian even understood that he liked Lan Wangji and Lan Wangji liked him. And when they finally confess their feelings? Oh my poor poor Bichen.

Yes, Hua Cheng made statues of Xie Lian in every inconceivable pose including NSFW, and there was the coffin scene. But if Lan Wangji was in the coffin with Wei Wuxian, suffice to say that the coffin would break and they all would've drowned within 5 minutes.

[mochinomnoms]

Hey do you know mdzs? Do you know the blindfolded kiss scene?

If you don't, then there's this moment in the novel Mo Dao Zu Shi that this horribly repressed character with the FATTEST, HORNIEST crush on this other character, who is a wild, flirty, and self sacrificing little shit, where they kiss in the woods.

So basically Wei Wuxian (little shit) goes and does the whole hunting event blindfolded, mostly to piss off the Wen sect, which were hosting the event. Anyways, so Lan Wangji (repressed horny) ends up pushing WWX against a tree and just start. Making out with him. For a good minute, and then just fucking runs away like the loser he is. ALSO. Before the hunting tournament even started, WWX did something, that in LWJ culture, signified a marriage proposal lmao bro didn't know.

But yeah. Imagine beanfest in PTM with a flirty yuu? Imagine that before beanfest started, yuu gave jade a shell necklace "for good luck"? Then mid bean war bro just sees yuu and just fucking. Blinding spell and just hugs them and leaves little kisses on their head and cheeks and just fucking runs away and freaks out about it lmao

🦩

I don't know what mdzs is, so I'm sure quite sure what you're talking about lol. But the concept is cute! However, a flirty Yuu in ptm would be quite funny, as well as Jade's surprise kisses. No one but Yuu can hear him screaming in his head as he runs back into the beanfest.

[imperfectpompom]

“Ah! Shit…” Wei Wuxian almost drops his chopsticks as the temperature of his mouthful of chilli oil soaked noodles hits him. “Shit!”

Wei Wuxian fans himself frantically with his hands as he tries to blow the steam out of his mouth. Across from him, Lan Zhan watches amusedly as he blows on his noodle soup patiently. Even the way he eats his food is perfect. God dammit - Wei Wuxian doesn’t have a chance. 

As his eyes start to water Wei Wuxian brings his gaze up using one hand to cover his mouth as he debates spitting his mouthful from hell out and the other still fanning his face. God he hopes the mascara he’s wearing doesn’t run. All he had wanted was Lan Zhan to notice his pretty eyelashes. Should have known something like this was coming when he put it on earlier. 

Eventually Wei Wuxian gives up on chewing and gulps the mouthful down. 

You would have thought that by now he’d burnt all of his mouth’s pain receptors off with spice haha!! Guess not. 

“Shit that hurts…” Wei Wuxian reaches for his glass and chugs the whole load of his water down. He usually doesn’t bother pouring the water glass when he sits down, but thank God Lan Zhan did. 

Wei Wuxian sighs as he places the cup back onto the table. Way to impress his crush… 

“Ow…”

“Are you okay, Wei Ying?” 

Wei Wuxian flicks his head up back to Lan Zhan’s gorgeous face with a smile plastered on his face. “Yeah, of course! Not the first time I’ve burnt my mouth hahaha… Only my pride was injured.” 

Lan Zhan’s eyes twinkle with unspoken laughter. “Of course. Do you need any medicine?” 

Wei Wuxian runs his tongue along the top of his mouth - he swears that burning his mouth has never actually hurt before!!! It usually just goes a bit numb. 

He can’t believe he’s saying this, “Well, if you have any then yeah that would--”

Wei Wuxian is cut off by two lips pressing to his own. 

His eyes go wide as he takes in a sharp inhale through his nose - he would recognise this skin tone and these unbelievably close facial features anywhere. 

Lan Zhan???

No that can’t be right. 

Oh, who cares?!?! Wei Wuxian closes his eyes as the insistent lips press closer and a tongue runs across the line of his mouth he drags in a shaky sigh through his lips, opening up to the very much wanted visitor. Wei Wuxian’s body quakes as Lan Zhan’s tongue brushes against his own, his third eye opening as he brings his hands up to run along the sharp line of Lan Zhan’s jaw. 

However, all good things must come to an end and Lan Zhan is retreating back to his seat far too soon for Wei Wuxian’s liking. 

His hands are still hovering mid-air where they were cupping Lan Zhan’s cheeks when Lan Zhan breaks the silence. 

“All better now.” 

“Huh??”

Lan Zhan frowns at him, “I kissed it better for you.” He turns back to his meal. 

Wei Ying slams his hands down on the table and literally jumps over it, coming to a rest when he finds himself straddling Lan Zhan’s legs on the other side. 

“Do it again.”

[sillygoofyqueer]

The Untamed review: episode two!!

Yes, Wei Wuxian, Little Apple IS a picky eater, because he deserves only the best and KNOWS IT

Bro's complaining about a donkey to a donkey, what a guy

"You're like MY master"

"Yo, there's a well!" Wei Wuxian immediately moves out of the way, what a gentleman

HE'S JUST TALKING TO THEM, WOAHHHH

Wei Wuxian helplessly listening to them argue over his inventions is so funny to me

"IS WEI YOUR DAD?!??" "HE'S MY IDOL!!"

The way that Wei Wuxian just gives up and peaces out

Fighting with a donkey now

Take the fucking apple, you dumbass

How old is this woman? She looks about twenty five

IT'S JUST LIKE IN MINECRAFT

Push her off, it'd be so funny and no one would know

Yo, what is Yan doing?? She's busting some moves

Does he just flick any random person?

Ohhhh, I see

Got killed by the mist, that's an embarrassing way to go

Bro is dead, goddamn. Poor lass has no soul

This woman has been through so much, she doesn't deserve it

Someone's catching humans, cannibals in every universe

JIN LING!!! <3

Laughing at the richness of people

"Naur, stay up there. See you later xoxo"

How is this woman here????

LITTLE APPLE BEHAVE YOURSELF

It's fine, he's wearing a mask that covers his eyes

"It's you?" Aw shit, the guy who was a baby when you were around is onto you

Joking, he knows Mo Xuanyu

Mock him and see how it ends up

BRO JUST INSULTED HIM BECAUSE HE'S MOTHERLESS

Stop trying to get up, jesusss

Nice throw

He looks so done with people's shit

STOP FUCKING MOCKING HIM, WEI WUXIAN

Oh, hey Jiang Cheng, you're baby girling quite hard today

No need to crush it

"break his legs? No, feed him to your dog, kiddo"

His boyfriend has come to rescue him

"I'm so unlucky today", on the contrary, I think you're very lucky, these characters are key to the plot and you didn't even have to go looking for them!!

I like the music that plays when the Lan Clan is around

Lan Jingyi stepping up for his father- teacher

Lan Sizhui, how do you know so much

HE CAST THE SILENCE SPELL, I LOVE HIM

He says it like a slur hahahaha

Lan Wangji is too busy mewing, don't break his streak!!

"If you don't get that spirit, don't come back to me!!" Jin Ling was never seen again 😔

He's like a grumpy toddler, I love him so

"Don't worry, we'll pay for the nets we broke!" "Nuh uh!!" Lan Sizhui, you're an angel, don't listen to him

HIS MEWING STREAK NOOOOO

Nice voice though

"I thought I saw my boyfriend 😔"

There are spirits in the lake, I wouldn't suggest drinking from it

Jiang Yanli 😭😭😭

Stop smiling, you're hallucinating

Slander my boy and sees what happens

Slap yourself, go on, like the books

Don't put the blame all on him!!!

Nice, like the books

Feel the shame

That cannot be comfortable, those are literal rocks

LITTLE APPLE!!

He's like they're little leader

That's a fast old man

Lan Jingyi's first instinct is to point a sword at an old man, lmaaoooo

"anything strange here?" "Duh"

Leaving him alone while he's trying to give important plot information, rude

Glowing grass, what the fuck

I think you should eat some

He just wants to clean, leave him alone

WEN QING!!!!!!

Flashbacks lmao

Where'd the old man go

Dirty

No way is that naturally formed

Lan Jingyi, you're surprisingly knowledgeable..I didn't know you could read

Jin Ling and his group of people

AAAAAHH WHAT THE FUCK

"what's up baby girls"

Ugh, it's been moving for a while now

Maybe you should, I don't know, LISTEN TO THE GUY WHO KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING??

Also, y'all ditched him, minus points

"We're out" "fuck, y'all are gonna soooo be punished"

The look he gave, as if this isn't like, a sixteen seventeen year old. No, wait, he's probably eighteen...how old was he before Wei Wuxian's death? ANYWAY

Criticising the Lan education system while you're at it

"wait, you can't be crazy, because that makes sense!!" Lan Jingyi my beloved

Shit, my cover as a crazy person has been blown

Are they having a mewing contest or what?

Well done, Lan Jingyi

WHERE'S MY NEPHEW

I swear it wasn't that big before

Y'all are doing a shit job at running from something this slow

Nice attack, it's still stone though

Dude, listen to Lan Sizhui

"Hey, my sword 🥺😔"

Considering this flute playing is supposed to be shit, it's not too bad

"ugh, you're playing the flute this bad? You must be crazy" Lan Jingyi, make up your mind

STOOOOOP JIN LING

Nice kick, it's still stone though

WEN NING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE'S HERE TO KICK SOME ASS FOR YOU!!!!

They both look mildly terrified

Dude killed it so easy, well done. Naur, it's just an illusion.

"y'all, no need to be scared, the Yiling Patriarch ain't here" he's standing over there, wearing a mask

I THOUGHT THE LANS WERE BETTER THAN THIS

Luring him over with shitty flute playing

LET GO OF THE COMEDIC RELIEF

His robes are even blowing, just for you

Me leading my next snack away from the bag

Walk faster, goddamn

"hey bbg, it's been a while"

Listen guys, I know you're in love but there's a corpse there

He flew away, like Jesus

So...how is everyone surprised when they do turn out to be gay???

DON'T PIN THE BLAME ON HIM. MY MAN'S IS GUILTY BUT PRETTY

Uhh uh oh. Mom and dad are fighting again

Lan Wangji already looks so bored

The fucking GLARE I CAN'T

"Take off the mask!!!" "Nuh uh, I'm too handsome"

Lan Jingyi needs to stop being smart, it's scaring me

Stoooop, he didn't kill his brother

Okay, so he did, but he didn't want to!!!

He passed out, okay man

Answer the stupid call

FAMILY!!!!!!!

They're so happy 😔

Give him what he wants, it's SYMBOLISM

Lecturing him better than Lan Qiren

You lost him already, not very good at this, ey?

Alcoholic

Of course he will, it's Wei Wuxian

They're so happy :(

[jcs-singular-slut-strand]

sleepover weekend from me!!

-> would you rather go to a party with jin guangshan or do coke in a gas station bathroom with wen ruohan/joke (i missed this joke tbh i had to make it)

-> yunmeng jiang sect headcannons! c'mon heap them on me. thoughts on them making, dyeing and exporting silk? i love worldbuilding.

-> choose between chengxuan and chengsu! reasons if you wanna give?

-> tell me three good things that happened to you or around you since the start of may, and also tell me about any random ass thing that irritates so, so much.

-> rec me anything honestly, i'll take it. i know you've got tolkein stuff on your alt, but if have to start lotr/similliarion (did i get that correctly), where do i start?

-> tell me about your first crush (no pressure at all, feel free to skip this)

I would do coke with Wen Rouhan in the bathrooms at Annandale Waters Service Station. They have clean bathrooms and a Burger King, I feel as if Wen Rouhan would enjoy a Whopper

YMJ headcanons

Yunmeng Jiang has the strongest trade relations with Meishan Yu out of the four greatest sects for obvious reasons.

The people of Yunmeng 100% have songs about the amazing Sandu Shengshou, which the Jiang disciples would obviously then sing just to piss Jiang Cheng off (they taught them to Jin Ling when he was merging from babbling toddler to chatty 5 year old).

All new disciples (and the older ones if they're acting in a way Jiang Cheng deems irresponsible and hazardous) are required to sit a Water and Boat Saftey Course. There's a written and a practical at the end, obvs. If you fail well then tough shit, you're resitting the course along with the disciples who have been reckless. This headcanon is inspired by my 90 year old grandpa who has sat the British speeding awareness course 2-3 times

Chengxuan vs Chengsu is actually really hard. However, Chengsu is more realistic I feel, especially during the time skip and after it. I love childhood best friends AU for Chengxuan and also all that Sunshot Campaign Chengxuan and modern AU's. But Chengsu takes the win; a high profile affair, raising a child who isn't yours with someone who isn't your husband, saltiness and self pity over the people you love choosing a Lan over you. Incredible.

On Sunday, my dad felt bad about forcing me to help him put up 2 coat racks, so he bought me jolibee and bubble tea

I went to Jolibee again yesterday

I had pepsi max for breakfast this morning

There are many, many things that truly piss me off but I can't be bothered going into detail right now so to keep things plain and simple, im gonna stick to something that's pissed me off today. Snapchat has this filter where you and a friend put in a photo of yourself and then it uses AI to generate what your child looks like. Me and my best friend, one of my favourite people ever, make ugly children. And I hate that. Why was that little girl so fucking ugly what was the reason snapchat???

I'm not sure what you mean so I'm just gonna link some of my fave fanfiction but also explain how I feel is the best way to get into the Tolkien fandom

Inexplicably around each other by adasinon = I just think this is sweet. Zhancheng nation ig

The Bounty of Our Days by remiges = Yu Ziyuan x Zhao Zhuliu, God I love them. It's like a character study and a backstory, I think it's really nice and fleshes out the characters

Sappy song on the old radio by Morethancupcake = oh my lord. Chengxian, modern au, childhood something. Past wangxian, past jiang cheng x literally anyone that is remotely bad for him. Couples therapy except Jiang Cheng didn't want to be there and they're not a couple anymore/yet, angst, coming back to each other later in life. I've only read this once but it's just that memorable.

Love you to death by KayllanBreak = Jiang Cheng kills Yu Ziyuan but no one can work out why (police inspector song lan). Wei Wuxian and Jiang cheng rocky relationship, Jin Ling idolising Jiang Cheng (naturally), Jiang Yanli lying her ass off for him, Jin Zixuan being his lawyer. Jiang Fengmian bashing 💗💗💗💗. Lan wangji is barely in this but when he is he's an utter arsehole.

Keep making trouble (till you find what you love) by Silveryogus = I FUCKING LOCE THIS FIC!!!! CHENGXUAN!!! Modern AU road trip to Lanling after the Xuanyu cave. Jin Zixuan has a talent for shoplifting (Jiang Cheng sent him to get clothes and he came back with too small trousers, yellow shirts, and sunglasses). Oh yeah and Jin Zixuan gets shot in a corner shop. Fellas is it gay to get into a high speed police chase whilst the guy you're semi unwillingly travelling with leans out the window and tries to shoot out the police's tires? Especially when said guy mentions smoking once and you spend some of the limited money you have on cigarettes??? Apparently I've visited this 70 times

Stray Dogs Parable by natcat5 = Post burning of Lotus Pier, no golden core debacle, jiang cheng recognising that his parents leadership strategies won't work in his situation/are just plain ineffective, proving his worth as a Sect Leader and earning the loyalty of his incredibly small number of disciples (the ones who survived), also Jiang Cheng sucks poison out of someone's ankle

Anyways, if you're getting into the Tolkien fandom I would recommend watching the hobbit films first, even though they're not entirely book accurate it's still a good way to get a feel of the story and work out if it's something you'd like. Then I would read the book. Same process for Lord of the rings. The silmarillion... God i actually can't say anything, you've just gotta re read the first 3-4 chapters a couple of times and then you should be fine...

My first crush is a dickhead who has progressively gotten worse and worse looking as time has gone on. I genuinely have no idea what I ever saw in him except for the fact that he laughed at my jokes and used to give me the answers in class. It was very embarrassing for all parties involved, I feel 😭

[thebiscuiteternal]

this new reverse au has too much sad in it. please give huaisang some friends please. 😿

I think he and Jiang Yanli have the potential to be great friends, but it wouldn't happen until the war breaks out and the Jiang parents are gone, specifically because they don't bother to include her in anything official and don't associate with him outside of anything official, and therefore the two of them probably wouldn't even meet properly until the war. But they find they understand each other very well, and he lets her have all the freedom in the kitchen tents she wants and even sometimes acts as her prep assistant when she's really stressed.

Also I think he and Mianmian would at least be friendly, if not friends (maybe they'll be friends? I haven't really sorted it out), and when the soup fight breaks out, she scoots off to grab him to come calm shit down and explain to Zixuan that he's been an idiot without punching him (though Wei Wuxian would probably get in at least one good swing before they get back). Maybe even get Zixuan to be nicer and more involved with his new brother when Jin Guangyao is legitimized? Help fix some of the social mess his parents made him into?

So he's still the cautionary tale for Jiang Cheng and Jin Guangyao re: their fathers, but he winds up being a good sounding board for Jiang Yanli's stress re: her brothers, and helps Jin Zixuan be a decent brother to Jin Guangyao.

And, I mean, he and Jin Guangyao are still gonna be friends. (Maybe more, because this is me building all this mess.) He makes it clear that he's someone safe to vent to and while he can't fix (waves in the direction of Jin Guangshan's general everything) because of his lack of actual political power, he'll do what he can to mitigate the emotional damage. Trauma bonding, yay!

I haven't decided what his emotional ties to the rest of the Sunshot Generation will be. His opinions of the Lans won't change much, and he's kind of wary of Wei Wuxian because of all the general Jiang Family Mess (it's complicated. like, he doesn't blame Mingjue for anything because Mingjue was a baby when he arrived, but Wei Wuxian kinda brings the rumors on himself with his general attitude and constant need to Show Off??? but also it's clear Wei Wuxian loves his shijie and shidi and doesn't seem to be entirely conscious of the effect he has on Jiang Cheng especially and wow, Huaisang is getting a huge headache just watching them). But things could change.

Also, totally unrelated, I love the idea that Mingjue had a puppy crush on Xichen the entire war and only Huaisang knew but somehow it gets out by the time Mingjue's grown and he's embarrassed as hell about it, but maybe??? The crush is still there???

[whumpbby]

I think my problem with LWJ is that I love him in his teen years and when he’s being stuck between protecting WX and his clan, but I find his grown up version unappealing. I liked him being conflicted and having to make serious choices with consequences. I don’t like him leaving his brother alone after his own traumatic conflict without even looking back. Hell even WX in the extras asked LWJ if they should check on his brother to which he just kind of shrugs. I hate that it feels like any loyalty he had to anything outside of his relationship with WX has evaporated. He’s not like other MXTX leads he has someone else who needs him that he’s ignoring and it just feels wrong, especially with how tortured we saw WX and JC’s separation was for them both. He goes from an interesting character to a blank lover and it’s a down grade.

Yep, that's kinda my opinion too.

I actually love him in the Gusu-arc. He's so weirdly repressed and helpless to make this strange boy make sense! To make his own feelings make sense! He struggles with himself and his feelings and what he knows should be appropriate way to deal with it, but somehow isn't. I cheered and cackled when the porn book happened to him and his virgin eyes!

And then he just...stops being that. He turns into a Love Interest and that's his whole role.

Does he have friends? Does he have duties in CR he has to preform? Is he the first disciple?? Does he even talk to anyone there at all apart from his brother and his young ward???? Like, where is your life Lan Zhan? You're meant to be the half of the main couple, where is your life??

After the Nightless City, JGY took control of the richest sect around, got married, got and lost a kid and did some murdering. Nie Huaisang was inventing a cruel and unusual punishment for the murderer of his brother, and failing at running a sect. JC built a sect from the ground up and raised a kid. What have you been doing, Lan Zhan? Apart from going around and fighting stuff, and being a periodical dick to JC, what was his life about in the time he apparently 'got over his loss'?

I wrote before that I wish these years between his seclusion and WWX being back were spent by Lan Wangji on regaining his standing in the sect and the respect of the Elders. That it would be amazing to see him facing the choice of getting his place back or 'here we go again' with Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian who, as far as Lan Zhan knew, didn't like him all that much.

Does he go back to his stoic life or change it all on the man he fell in love with as a boy? Is he the copy of his father after all - trailing after an uninterested person to soothe his own feelings? Does he slowly start to figure your that while his crush is not perfect, a lot of things just went very wrong for everything to go to shit so badly and he doesn't want it to happen again? Does he think that while his brother is in pain, he still has support of their uncle and the clan, while Wei Wuxian once more chose to walk alone and he wants to follow???

Give me something ffs!TT

I'm not gonna lie, nine out of then times I prefer Lan Wangji in fanfics than in the canon. The writers usually add character he is solely lacking in his post-ressurection iteration.

[trans-yllz]

hello ben been following u for a while love the content great stuff. rewatching cql and wanted to know ur opinion on whether or not u think wwx knew he was in love with lwj b4 his death, after his resurrection, or post-canon? and talking like, IN LOVE. crush he probably knew like idk. during or after the schooling portion as teenagers ?

idk what the book says but cql specifically i think he knew pretty early on. there are a lot of fics about him JUST figuring out his feelings post-canon surprisingly so i wanted to ask u abt it lol

u've probably already said in the past but i either forgot or didnt see when uve all discussed it. thank u much love hope the hair comes out cool as shit

here's my timeline for how I think wei wuxian felt about lan wangji throughout the series/how aware and comfortable he was w those feelings:

I think that wei wuxian knew almost immediately that he was at the very least Attracted to lan wangji. he makes that stupid gay face the first time he sees him. throughout the cloud recesses arc it's pretty clear that wei wuxian has himself a little crush, and I think he definitely knows it. I've seen a lot of interpretations saying that wei wuxian had a crush but wasn't aware of his own feelings, but all of his clumsy attempts at flirting w lan wangji and trying to get his attention make it obvious to me that he knows very well how he feels and is not uncomfortable or in denial of those feelings

I don't think that wei wuxian was necessarily In Love with lan wangji by the time he's thrown into the burial mounds, but I think he's moved on from silly teenage crush to something more. the thing that makes him finally sit up and keep going in the burial mounds is him imaging lan wangji saying his name for fucks sake

during/around the sunshot campaign I think he is somewhere between Very Strong Romantic Feelings and In Love, and the fact that they spend half of that time at odds w each other only complicates his emotions and how much he is able to accept his own feelings. he obviously feels very strongly for lan wangji in a romantic way and is pushing and prodding to see if lan wangji feels the same but a lot is happening and he has just experienced intense emotional and physical trauma, Every emotion he's feeling is intense and complicated and repressed

as for post sunshot campaign pre yiling laozu era wei wuxian... I think this is where his feelings for lan wangji become more complicated. wei wuxian is pushing Everybody away post burial mounds and trying to separate himself from all of his attachments. he went through unspeakable trauma and now the war is over, he is left with a lot of time and space to fester in his trauma in a way he wasn't during the sunshot campaign. wei wuxian is conflicted about All of his relationships, including his relationship with lan wangji. I think he's struggling with being close to and vulnerable with anybody, and accepting new, intense, and, honestly, dangerous emotions for lan wangji is difficult for him. at this point he is very much shutting down emotionally and he very well may be In Love by then but I certainly don't think he's processing it fully. I think their conversation on phoenix mountain speaks to both wei wuxians uncertainty about their relationship and the intensity of his feelings for lan wangji

now. by the time "at least I could be killed by you, that would be worth it" happens, I Do think that wei wuxian is in love if only because that's the most batshit insane romantic thing I've ever heard in my life no other evidence needed. I think by then he's started to process his emotions more but also there's like. a lot going on right now. I don't think it's high on his list of priorities

By The Burial Mounds Arc, I 100% believe that wei wuxian not only knows that he is in love with lan wangji, but is fully aware of the fact that lan wangji is in love with him. for me, part of their tragedy is that by the end they both Knew, but they had simply run out of time. what is the point of saying it now, at the end? what good is that? maybe if they do not say it outloud the fact that they cannot act on their feelings for each other will hurt less

but part of the joy of their relationship post res Is the tragedy that came before it. they thought they had run out of time but they didn't! wei wuxian gets a second chance! they have been given more time!!