#and Theories(tm)

[bluedelliquanti]

is this anything

[procrastiel]

Yo, another kiss in s3 would be great, but have you considered Aziraphale and Crowley laughing while kissing

[andrewknightley]

i find most of the dragon age lore interesting but you cant pay me to care about orlais

[fumifooms]

There’s something so viscerally sad about Thistle devoting his whole life body and soul to the family who bought him and put him in a clown costume

[uboat53]

You know, it's really notable to me how few of the conspiracy minded people who keep talking about "following the money" actually seem to be capable of doing that. Time for a LONG RANT (TM).

Think about it, where is the money in health care? Sure, the pharmaceutical industry makes $1.6 trillion globally per year, but do you know how much "alternative" medicine makes? The global "wellness" industry, which includes food and nutrition, wellness and spas, and general fitness, many of the industries promoted as alternatives by the people who oppose the products of the pharmaceutical industry, makes $6.8 trillion. Granted, this is a pretty broad category which can include some more standard medical things in it, but if even a quarter of this category is the more conspiratorial "alternate medicine", that would still make it bigger than "Big Pharma".

There's also been a big effort to cast climate scientists as being in it for the money, but how much money is there really? The average salary for an Assistant Professor, the basic position you'll have if you're doing research on climate science, is just under $100k per year. However, if you have a doctorate in that kind of a field, you should know that you can earn significantly more if you just work directly for the industry. In fact, most jobs in the oil and gas industry pay significantly better than similar jobs outside the industry. I would also point out that one job that pays even more than science in general is being an executive for the oil industry. Overall, the market for crude oil is over $2 trillion globally, the market for coal is over $650 billion globally, and the market for natural gas is over $1.25 trillion globally. Meanwhile, climate research funding is hard to track because it's so decentralized, but the most comprehensive study I can find estimated in 2020 that that funding had averaged less than $20 billion per year since 1950. In fact, even if all of that funding in the last 70 years had been concentrated into a single year, it would barely be more than the natural gas industry alone makes in a single year.

The same is true when we look at people, let's take a look at the president beloved by conspiracy theorists, Donald Trump, and his 2020 opponent, Joe Biden. Between 2020 and 2024, Biden's net worth increased from $8 million to $10 million, just slightly more than the sum total of his presidential salary over those 4 years. As for Donald Trump, it's incredibly hard to get a true value of his net worth or income since his business is privately held and Trump infamously releases as little information about his finances as possible, but let's take a look at one thing we do have good information on, the $TRUMP meme-coin. The coin was released in January 17th, 2025, just 3 days before Trump took office for a second term. 80% of the virtual coins were held by Trump himself while 20% were released for sale. In addition, this coin can only be bought or sold through companies owned directly by Trump himself which then collect fees on those sales. So far the sale of the 20% of coins that have been sold so far have brought in at least $350 million between the coins themselves and the fees collected.

However, I should note that this only one way that Trump benefits from this. Because the coins have speculative value based on the current trading price, the 80% of coins that Trump retains represent net wealth for him. In other words, someone can directly put money in his pocket by buying the coin. Not only does that person pay him for the coin, they also pay him a fee in the process and the purchase itself raises the price of other coins. The day after it launched, the 80% of coins that Trump owns had a speculative value of approximately $20 billion. And that's only one of Trump's dozens or even hundreds of business ventures that open paths for people to give him money.

So why are conspiracy people constantly thinking that the side with less money is swimming in it? Simple, because they are being told that by the people with money and they haven't actually done the work themselves to see where the money actually goes. This isn't conspiracy thinking here, opponents of mainstream medicine such as RFK Jr., the fossil fuel industry, and Donald Trump himself have all directly accused their opponents of profiting from their work while neglecting to mention any income on their own side of the issue. In fact, the fossil fuel industry in particular was recently exposed as having run a multi-decade campaign to encourage conspiracy thinking on climate issues similar to the tobacco industry's earlier campaign against public health information about their own product.

In this light, I especially need to emphasize yet again that conspiracy theories aren't about facts, they're about an emotional narrative of heroically resisting against impossible odds. The people shouting "follow the money" haven't done so themselves and, if you show them the data, they'll either deny it, ignore it, or find another reason to believe what they want/need to believe until you address the root emotional reasons for their conspiracy theorizing.

So what's the value of going through this if conspiracy theorists won't believe it anyways? Because there's a lot of people out there who believe this who aren't conspiracy theorists. I get it, walking a conspiracy theorist back to the real world is really hard and may not always be possible, but we're at the point now where conspiracy ideas are discussed and aired in the mainstream and there are lots of people who are exposed to them and may even believe them who are willing to listen to actual evidence. We owe it to them not to just write them off, but to present evidence to anyone who parrots this particular argument and see if they're amenable to listening.

Meanwhile, your job in any kind of debate like this is simple, throw their line back at them; tell them to follow the money. In the best case scenario, they'll do it, either with you or later, and figure out the reality of the situation. At worst, you'll at least shut them up for a minute or two, and won't that silence be nice?

[desporkable]

if a time lord is always male and has one female regeneration or vice versa that's a fluke and you should keep using he/him or she/her once they regenerate back. if they reincarnate into different genders multiple times they become a they/them. this is why for example the master is he/him to me but the doctor is a they/them

[gothicrepetitions]

I feel because of Jinx and Viktor’s popularity in fandom (having some of the most annoying fans in Arcane fandom) and the attention they receive in the show itself, people forget/don’t realise how bad they were done by the writers in s2

[emotionallychargedtowel]

Revisiting To My Star: If it’s hard for you (season 1, episodes 7, 8, & 9)

Past posts in this series:

Revisiting To My Star: A pursuer meets a distancer (season 1, episodes 1 & 2)

Revisiting To My Star: It's really hard to meet someone who's fun to be around (season 1, episodes 3 & 4)

Revisiting To My Star: This is considered flirting (season 1, episodes 5 & 6)

Also useful here:

My overview post about pursuer and distancer roles in relationships and how they relate to BL pairs

Well, I’ve reached the end of To My Star’s first season. Slowing down to write about it and discuss episodes with @my-rose-tinted-glasses and others it has definitely been worthwhile. I’ve noticed so many new things and gained a lot of perspective on things I was already aware of. 

As in my last post, I’m going to summarize the episodes I’m covering here for folks who could use a refresher and to help me restrain myself from summarizing elsewhere. If you already know these episodes well, feel free to skip past this bit. 

Episode 7: We see the rest of the confession scene that started in episode 6, Seo Joon confronts the supposed friend with whom he was involved in the scandal incident and decides to release the CCTV video from that night to the press, Hyung Ki starts to suggest to Ji Woo that they blackmail Seo Joon together (using a photo of him about to kiss Ji Woo during the “picnic” from episode 5), and Ji Woo goes home, packs a bag, and rejects Seo Joon horribly inside of a literal closet. 

Episode 8: The rest of the conversation between Hyung Ki and Ji Woo is shown. We also see that after Ji Woo said those hurtful things to Seo Joon, he told Pil Hyun he was moving out and left. A journalist comes to the door and tells Seo Joon about the photo of him and Ji Woo and apologizes for taking it and sharing it with Hyung Ki. Ji Woo meets with Hyung Ki to try to pay him off himself, but then Seo Joon joins them, pays Hyung Ki the blackmail money, and asks Ji Woo to come home with him. At first Ji Woo pushes Seo Joon away again, and Seo Joon almost leaves, but he comes back and tells Ji Woo he suspects that he returns his feelings. “If it’s hard for you, I’ll go to you,” he tells a crying Ji Woo, then he strides over and kisses him. 

Episode 9: Seo Joon and Ji Woo are together! Hyung Ki has a final meeting with Ji Woo in which, not for the first time, he insults him and admits he has feelings for him at the same time. He says he’ll pay the money back eventually. Various people express their disapproval of Hyung Ki for good measure. Aside from that, this episode is just a lovely ball of fluff with references to various events leading up to their relationship and ending with a truly sublime intimate scene. 

Overview

Episodes 7 and 8 represent a shift from capturing relatively subtle relationship developments to being more plot-driven and portraying more dramatic moments in the central relationship. The main way in which the more plot-heavy storylines (the resolution of Seo Joon’s scandal and Hyung Ki's blackmail plot) end up mattering for the relationship story is that they give Ji Woo and Seo Joon reasons to face challenges together and position them in opposition to other characters, both of which reinforce their bond. The other characters also sometimes act as foils that point out important things about the connection between them. Then we get to enjoy the finale, which is about 80% fluff. But just because the relationship stuff in episode 9 is fluffy doesn’t mean it doesn’t also reveal quite a few things about the characters and how they relate to each other. 

Before we get into what happens with Seo Joon and Ji Woo in these episodes and what it tells us about their relationship, their personalities, and their habitual ways of behaving in relationships, let’s cover what happens with the green shoe person, Yang In Woo, and Hyung Ki. That way, we can end on a more positive, relationship-focused note. 

Something bad happened

First, we find out who the green shoes belonged to! Her name is Seo Yeon and she works for a company called Vaspatch U.S.A. She took the photo of Seo Joon and Ji Woo and shared it with Hyung Ki, but at least she came to tell Seo Joon and apologized afterward. Oh, and she went to the restaurant to cuss out Hyung Ki in English, and he responds in kind. I usually enjoy out-of-nowhere English in a kdrama, especially if it involves profanity. Hyung Ki really has it coming, too. So I always enjoy that scene. 

You already have everything

In episode 7, Seo Joon invites Yang In Woo, the friend who was involved in the incident with him that led to his scandal, over to talk. He’s full of bluster at first, then tries to convince Seo Joon that he should let him lie about what happened to make himself look better because, well, Seo Joon has had a good career and In Woo hasn’t and he basically feels like it’s his turn and Seo Joon should “share” with him. Seo Joon isn’t OK with this, and he’s really firm with In Woo in a way. But he still offers to compromise and say they had a mutual fight. This is probably, at least in part, a concession so that he can avoid releasing the CCTV recording in which he has a visible panic attack. But it’s also an attempt to compromise with someone he always thought was his friend. When In Woo won’t even make that much of a concession, he calls and tells someone—my guess is it’s Yoon Seul, but it could be Pil Hyun or someone else from the management office—to release the recording. Just in case we had any doubt that he was a total dick, In Woo then tries to trigger Seo Joon’s panic disorder by jostling the table, causing glass stuff to rattle together. 

There is something you could say in In Woo’s favor, though. When the recording gets released, we finally get to see what happened. In Woo started a fight with other patrons at the restaurant, causing some glass to break which in turn triggers Seo Joon to have a panic attack. Most of the details are damning for In Woo, except for one. Before the fight, the other patrons are talking shit about someone, saying that this famous person isn’t so great in person. Given how much more famous Seo Joon is than In Woo, it seems pretty certain that they were talking about him. Seo Joon asked In Woo not to cause a scene, and he didn’t listen. The incident is still clearly his fault. But at least we know that he was protective enough of Seo Joon at one time to want to fight three strangers for badmouthing him. 

This situation implies some interesting things about Seo Joon. He tells In Woo, “I…saw you as a better person than you really are.” Perhaps Seo Joon has a tendency to idealize the people he’s close to. It would be consistent with how much he values relationships and needs to have people around him. He’s also pretty soft-hearted when it comes to those he cares about, so it’s helpful to him that In Woo continues to behave in such a shitty manner. When he refuses to compromise, he says, “It’s a relief. You’re bad til the end.” If In Woo had been less of an asshole, he might have been tempted to compromise with him or felt guilty for not doing so. But In Woo did him a sort of unintentional favor by being so selfish and intransigent. Now Seo Joon doesn’t have to feel conflicted. 

Let’s also live a little easier

Hyung Ki has mostly just been pining at Ji Woo up to this point. While it’s easy to find him annoying, as characters often are when we’re waiting for a couple to get together and this other person has the audacity to be in love with one of them, he hasn’t done anything wrong as far as we can tell (despite some mysterious hints). Well, in the last part of the series, Hyung Ki shows his true colors, and they aren’t pretty. 

When Hyung Ki finally tries to open up to Ji Woo, three things come out. 1) He has feelings for Ji Woo, 2) he’s very conscious of having more status than Ji Woo and it bothers him that Ji Woo doesn’t seem to feel insecure about this, and 3) he realizes that he has ridden on Ji Woo’s coattails because, well, Ji Woo has more talent as a chef than he does. Let’s drill down on these a bit. 

First, let’s talk about Hyung Ki’s feelings for Ji Woo. Hyung Ki seems like he’s been pining for Ji Woo in silence for quite some time—possibly for years. When Pil Hyun asked about Ji Woo’s current restaurant, he asked if he was working with “the same guy from the other restaurant.” It seems like they’ve been coworkers, at the very least, for a good while. Hyung Ki doesn’t quite come out and say that he has feelings for Ji Woo, but he makes it quite clear. When he first suggests they blackmail Seo Joon to save the restaurant from going under, he puts his hand on Ji Woo’s and says, “Ji Woo, you’ve known me for longer. Him, he doesn’t really matter to you…right?” He’s so pathetic in that moment that out of context, it might be tempting to root for him. When Ji Woo comes to get his things and say goodbye for good, Hyung Ki pauses and says in a small, subdued voice, “I just wanted to be close with you.” Like so many characters in media, he was complacent about the person he liked and then, when a rival showed up, he suddenly felt more urgency. But it was too late, the competition was too stiff, and given the next item on the list, maybe he’s been treating Ji Woo in a low-key shitty way for too long. 

It’s too bad Hyung Ki can’t just tell Ji Woo about his feelings directly and leave it at that. It would be best if he would, even if Ji Woo doesn’t feel the same way. But Hyung Ki seems to feel compelled to throw in the second item on the list: he’s very conscious of having more status than Ji Woo, but Ji Woo doesn’t show deference or seem to doubt himself in relation to Hyung Ki, and that bothers him. Hyung Ki isn’t actually better than Ji Woo in any way. But Hyung Ki seems to have bought into some cultural ideas about status to a great extent—possibly because if being rich and having a fancy education make you superior, that makes him superior to most people. We know that Ji Woo is actually incredibly self-conscious about things like being on his own without a family, but it doesn’t seem like Hyung Ki gets to see that side of him, perhaps because he doesn’t trust him enough to show it. Hyung Ki has a kind of rage about Ji Woo’s apparent lack of regard for his status that seems to have been festering and seething under the surface for some time, and finally comes to the surface given the strain of his family’s bankruptcy and his jealousy about Ji Woo’s growing bond with Seo Joon. 

Hyung Ki also seems to realize, and even occasionally admits, that Ji Woo is actually the superior chef between the two of them. Not only that, but much of the praise and status Hyung Ki has gained from the restaurant is really due to Ji Woo’s talents, and he’s very aware of that as well. When other people say he’s better than Ji Woo because he studied in Italy and so forth, he tries to protest (politely), but he doesn’t really stand up to them. When he admits that Ji Woo was the one who came up with their menu, it doesn’t sound like it’s something he usually acknowledges out loud. It seems like Hyung Ki doesn’t like taking credit for Ji Woo’s work or being touted as better than him while knowing the opposite is true. But he still has his status-conscious side, which might explain why he tolerates it as much as he does. That same part of him seems to resent Ji Woo for being so talented, too. 

When Ji Woo refuses to take part in his blackmail plan, Hyung Ki voices his contempt for Ji Woo in really insulting terms before calming down enough to make an indirect confession and a plea for Ji Woo to stay by his side and abandon Seo Joon. (He doesn’t seem to notice how weird it is to switch so abruptly from one to the other.) Hyung Ki references the fact that Ji Woo came up with all of their recipes, but only to try to convince him to try to keep the restaurant going instead of having to start over at another restaurant. Later, when Ji Woo comes to take his leave and proposes that they could “go back to how things were,” Hyung Ki voices all three of these feelings/sets of beliefs. Both times, Hyung Ki didn’t have any hope of getting Ji Woo to choose him instead of Seo Joon. But they could have remained on good terms and Hyung Ki wouldn’t have dug himself even deeper into a bitter, entitled hole if he had just talked about how he felt about Ji Woo, refrained from openly disrespecting him, and made the slightest gesture toward making amends. 

It’s no wonder Ji Woo couldn’t return Hyung Ki’s feelings. Those feelings were too tainted by resentment and contempt to lead to anything real. Seo Joon, in contrast, has an even greater kind of status as a celebrity, along with more money, but has never held it over Ji Woo’s head…well, he did hold his wealth over his head a bit when they first met, generally in response to a perceived slight. But he hasn’t done it once since they really started to bond. Hyung Ki’s faults help to highlight one of Seo Joon’s strengths. 

One thing that really stood out to me about Hyung Ki is the way he responds when Ji Woo isn’t willing to blackmail Seo Joon with him. At this point, Ji Woo still can’t believe Hyung Ki is actually considering doing something so repulsive. He says things like, “Are you saying this sincerely?” and, “You’re not being serious, right?” He sincerely thought that Hyung Ki was better than this. If Hyung Ki were looking at things more clearly, he’d see that this is actually a sign that Ji Woo thinks well of him—or at least, that he used to. But the chip on his shoulder and his defensiveness about the fact that he really is the kind of person who would do such a terrible thing makes him look at it in a distorted way. “You’re making me look like trash,” he says with a creepy smile on his face. Of course, Ji Woo didn’t really do that. Hyung Ki made himself look that way by acting like trash. Now Ji Woo is holding a mirror up to him through his reaction, so Hyung Ki is lashing out at him. It takes a certain kind of self-centered person to be so indignant when someone points out that they’re doing harm—to act wounded by the fact that someone has pointed out the way they’re wounding others. 

When I’m with you, I feel like I’ll be put in danger

Right up until the point where they finally get together, Ji Woo’s avoidant/dismissing attachment and distancer tendencies act as barriers to his getting together with Seo Joon. Thankfully, by the end, they’re able to overcome his fears together. 

Episode 6 cut off the confession scene at the point where Seo Joon says, “I’m even more certain as I face you. I’m not joking. I want to kiss you even when I’m not drunk. Let’s date.” The scene picks back up in episode 7 with Ji Woo’s reaction. Until you have a moment to think about it, his response seems out of left field. “Do you pity me?” he asks Seo Joon. “Do you pity me because I don’t have anything and live off people? You heard from Kim Pil Hyun. You’re the same as everyone else. Just because I’m struggling to meet ends…by myself! You’re pitying me.” 

This is such an inaccurate guess as to be a kind of non sequitur. Seo Joon has never shown any sign of seeing Ji Woo differently because his family isn’t around anymore, or of looking down on him in any way. Anyway, pretending to be in love with someone because you pitied them in such a way would be bizarre. But Ji Woo isn’t saying this because he believes it on a rational level. He’s saying it because Seo Joon’s earnest confession is scaring the crap out of him, and it’s matching up in his mind with one of his other biggest fears when it comes to his relationships—a fear so big that it’s an integral part of why he’s afraid to let others in in the way Seo Joon is urging him to in that moment. In other words, Ji Woo is afraid of intimacy in general, and part of that is because he’s afraid that if he gets close to other people, they’ll turn out to pity him—or look down on him, or eventually reject him—because of the losses he’s suffered, his isolation, or his lack of resources. That fear is activated in that moment, along with related ones, and it becomes something he can throw at Seo Joon to push him away. 

Seo Joon may not grasp all of this, but he can see that Ji Woo is emotionally dysregulated in a big way, and he knows that his confession caused it, no matter how well-intentioned it was. He’s particularly culpable since he persisted when Ji Woo had already given him signals to back off, even if his justifications in those moments were as flimsy as this one. So he apologizes. He hugs Ji Woo, even though he tries to throw him off, and says in a quiet voice, “You know that’s not true. You know very well….I only thought of myself. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.” Ji Woo relaxes in his arms and stays in the hug for a while, and the scene cuts off. He hasn’t responded favorably to Seo Joon’s confession, but after that first attempt at resistance, he has at least responded to the way he’s holding him. 

I’ve never really settled on what I think about Seo Joon’s apology until now, but in light of this rewatch and the more detailed examination of the story I’ve been doing during it, I think I get it. Or at least, I have an interpretation that makes sense to me. 

Seo Joon starts by denying what Ji Woo said, with good reason. I like that he tells Ji Woo that he already knows it isn’t true. I’m sure he does know that, at least on some level. Seo Joon isn’t wasting time trying to protest or prove Ji Woo wrong here. He trusts that Ji Woo gets it already, he just needs to calm down and give it a moment’s thought. Then he says, “I only thought of myself.” It’s true that while we always hope that telling someone we like them will make them happy, and there’s an extent to which it could be viewed as a kind of compliment, it’s also generally something we do because we want something (even if all we’re hoping for is just not to have bottle up our feelings any longer). I think Seo Joon gets this. But I also wonder if he’s more prone to apologize after something like this because his own relationship baggage makes him worry that expressing his feelings to others will be burdensome to them. Either way, all of this adds up to Seo Joon being sorry. Then he says, “I won’t do it again.” If he means he won’t declare his feelings to Ji Woo again, this is an obvious lie. But it’s also possible that he means that he won’t do it in the same persistent way after seeing signs that Ji Woo can’t handle it. 

The next time Ji Woo hurts Seo Joon, he’s intentionally pushing him away and his reason, at least in part, is trying to protect Seo Joon from Hyung Ki’s blackmail attempt. It isn’t much of a stretch for him to act the part, though, since he’s been pushing Seo Joon away all along, and it’s not as if his fears on that front have been allayed. Ji Woo’s first attempt at pushing Seo Joon away seems a bit on the calculated side. “W: Thinking about things…it was disgusting,” he says. A stunned Seo Joon just says, “What?” “Everything that happened between us,” Ji Woo replies. “Thinking about it made me feel disgusted.” On an emotional level, this seems like Ji Woo trying to get things over with by coming at Seo Joon hard with a deeply hurtful comment and, metaphorically speaking, taking him out at the knees. Why is this such a cruel thing to say? Mostly because it sounds homophobic, so it’s bound to hit Seo Joon right where it hurts. Telling someone you have feelings for them and having them react with homophobic disgust is a total nightmare scenario for queer people. It’s also cruel because, well, having the person you’re in love with to find you repulsive is especially painful no matter what their reasons might be. My guess is that Ji Woo is talking this way because he thinks that it’ll be easier for both of them if it’s over quickly. It does work, for a moment. Seo Joon usually has a comeback for everything, but these words hit him hard enough that he just stands there, reeling, for a few seconds. But Seo Joon is persistent enough, and sufficiently convinced that Ji Woo returns his feelings, that this isn’t enough to completely discourage him. He suspects, correctly, that this is about something else, because it represents such a big shift from what he’s heard from Ji Woo before. 

So Ji Woo tries again and takes a different tack, and in the process, he says something really telling. “When I’m with you,” he says, “I feel like I’ll be put in danger.” I think this statement is a lot more honest than the first. It’s not hard to see why. Ji Woo has been responding to Seo Joon’s overtures in ways that betray his fear of intimacy for a while now. When Seo Joon does things that make him start to feel close to him or that tempt him to let him get even closer, this really does feel dangerous to Ji Woo. The irony is that the more Seo Joon makes Ji Woo feel safe, the more he poses a “risk” in this way. The more Seo Joon does things right, the more he shows that he’s trustworthy and sincere and that his feelings for Ji Woo are real and strong, the scarier he becomes. So Ji Woo simply voices the fear he’s been feeling all along, in its strongest form. This hits Seo Joon hard, because the last thing he wants to do is make Ji Woo feel scared. He wants to take care of him, not freak him out. 

At the end of episode 8, when the blackmail situation has been resolved and Seo Joon’s scandal has blown over, Ji Woo tries to push Seo Joon away yet again. He alludes to his fear of being controlled (“I told you I didn’t want to be taken in”), then tries one of his favorite excuses, dismissing the sincerity of Seo Joon’s interest in him. 

You’re going to leave soon anyway. You were just bored and the only person around was me, so you played around with me! Stop it now…it’s fine. Go live with people that suit you. Don’t disturb the wrong guy. Everything is solved now [meaning Seo Joon’s scandal], so you can leave quickly. Right? You can go to your own house….I want you to hurry and leave.

“I really wasn’t playing. I’m serious,” Seo Joon answers. “You still want me to really leave?” Ji Woo says yes. So Seo Joon grabs his bag, walks past him, reaches the door, and leaves. 

Ji Woo used the same narrative again, the one that says that Seo Joon is just an incurable flirt who had nothing better to do than steal Ji Woo’s heart for fun. It’s manifestly false, but his conviction that someone like Seo Joon couldn’t possibly have feelings of this sort toward him makes it somewhat more convincing. In the end, it’s somewhat moot, since he doesn’t need an ironclad story. All he needs is a moderately convincing excuse to push Seo Joon away so he won’t have take the risks associated with admitting to himself that he loves Seo Joon and Seo Joon loves him back. 

As soon as Seo Joon has his back to him and can’t see him anymore, Ji Woo starts crying—silently, but intensely. When he hears the door click shut, he staggers a couple of steps toward it, as if he wants to follow Seo Joon. But he can only make this small gesture of approaching him when he knows the door is already shut. It seems the only way Ji Woo is able to make a gesture that shows he wants to be with Seo Joon after all is if he feels certain that Seo Joon won’t find out about it. 

That’s why it’s so important that Seo Joon comes back—which brings us to his side of things. 

If it’s hard for you

In my posts so far, I’ve focused more on Ji Woo’s distancer tendencies and apparent avoidant attachment style than on anything that’s going on with Seo Joon (though I’ve touched on his habitual pursuer status a bit). There are a couple of main reasons for this, I think. 

One is the fact that in a piece of romance media, we naturally tend to root for whoever is trying to make the relationship happen. After all, it’s what we’re here for. It’s also a foregone conclusion, due to genre conventions, that the couple will fall in love and more than likely, will end up together. So if one person is getting us closer to that goal and one is standing in the way, we’re more likely to focus on what’s keeping that person stuck and less likely to ask ourselves why the other one is chasing after him so hard. I also think the storyline of season 1 is set up in a way that happens to particularly emphasize Ji Woo’s baggage. (We’ll see if season 2 looks different in this regard—I think it might.) 

But Seo Joon has his own specific soft spots and weaknesses. For one thing, like most pursuers, he behaves as if he wants to get as close to his (potential) partner as possible, but deep down, he also has a fear of intimacy (although he doesn’t want to acknowledge it). One way that he avoids getting more intimacy than he can handle is by falling for an obvious distancer, making it less likely that he’ll “catch” the person he’s pursuing more often than he can handle. In effect, when a pursuer and a distancer get together, they’re making a kind of unspoken pact. The pursuer agrees to hold the need for intimacy for both of them, since they feel comfortable with that side of themselves. The distancer agrees to hold the need for separateness for both of them, since that’s a side of themselves that they feel comfortable with. The pursuer then gets to disavow their own need for separateness/fear of intimacy and the distancer gets to disavow their need for intimacy/fear of abandonment. 

Seo Joon also shows signs of an anxious or preoccupied attachment style. But while I can see glimmers of this in season 1, especially in these last three episodes, I don’t think it’s the right time to get into that quite yet. The main thing to note, for now, is that just as Ji Woo’s distancing is related to his attachment style, Seo Joon’s pursuing is related to his. 

One big area where anxious/preoccupied attachment and pursuer tendencies overlap has to do with where the person normally turns when they need to regulate their emotions. As I quoted Harriet Lerner saying in my overview post about pursuer/distancer dyads, pursuers “react to anxiety by seeking greater togetherness in a relationship,” while distancers “seek emotional distance or physical space when stress is high.” (cite?) Similarly, people with an anxious/preoccupied attachment style tend to get stressed out when they have to spend time alone, and this is definitely true of Seo Joon. 

Let’s look at some examples. When Seo Joon first comes to stay at Ji Woo’s house, he’s crestfallen when he finds out that Ho Min has other duties during his first day there and thus can’t spend the day with him. Soon after this, he finds an excuse to follow Ji Woo to his restaurant. He just really hates to be alone! 

Soon after he and Ji Woo get together, Ji Woo has to go back to the restaurant to pick up his things and take his leave. Seo Joon is reluctant to let Ji Woo go in the first place. When he insists it's necessary, he relents, but texts him the entire time he’s gone. When Ji Woo checks his phone while talking to Hyung Ki, he sees the following: 

“Where are you?”  “Are you OK?”  “Why aren’t you coming?”  “Did something happen?”

As Ji Woo heads home, we see Seo Joon sitting on the floor in front of the door staring at the door. That’s how eager he is to see Ji Woo and how uninterested he is in doing anything without him. 

Now that I think about it, it's really remarkable that Seo Joon asks Pil Hyun and Ho Min to go celebrate without him after Ji Woo says those awful things to him in episode 8. It goes to show just how heartbroken he is that he voluntarily sits around by himself.

Seo Joon also seeks more time and closeness with Ji Woo in other ways. On their second day as a couple, Seo Joon proposes that they continue living together. He’s basically the lesbian from that old joke who shows up at a first date with her stuff in a U-Haul, ready to move in. Part of this is undoubtedly because they’ve already been living together for a little while, but it’s still remarkably early in their relationship for such a step. 

Possibly the most quintessentially pursuer-ish thing Seo Joon does in the first season is what he says to Seo Joon just before they finally get together. “Ji Woo,” he says, “if it’s hard for you, I’ll go to you.” This offer makes a pretty great summary of what pursuers have to offer in relationships. Pursuers seldom make this offer so explicitly, but they generally find a way to communicate to their distancer that they’ll generally be the ones to come to them in order to make closeness happen, allowing them to experience intimacy even though seeking it is “hard for [them].”

This is what Ji Woo needed in this case, and Seo Joon gave it willingly. We don’t see what happens right after their first kiss, but it’s clear that Seo Joon broke the ice sufficiently for Ji Woo to show his feelings in return so that their relationship could get off the ground. We get to enjoy some adorable fluff and that masterful intimate scene, and then the story ends. Until the beginning of season 2, of course. 

I'll be starting season 2 soon, so watch this space!

Thanks yet again to @my-rose-tinted-glasses for being an amazing resource for talking about this show, for encouragement, and just being a lovely human being. Her insights permeate everything I've written in these posts, but at the same time, I couldn't even capture half of them. Thanks to the giffers as always, including @paisky, @captnswilson, @mostlyfate, and @seatawinan.

[zeldahime]

i love that an oscar-bait movie about the catholic church came out and everyone on tumblr went "oh my GOD i MUST blorboify my favorite cardinal" like we are truly dragging the high culture down into the mud to take apart and play with

[arolock]

Is Prime's arc really over?

I mean, he's dead alright, no doubt in that, and tbh I sort of hope that he will not be brought back to life. But. BUT.

This is a long ass rant. If you open it, it's on you.

Even in the last confrontation between Prime and C-137 we didn't really get any solid confirmations of Prime and C-137 origin story. We know they've met, we know Prime showed C-137 "infinity" (in his own words) and killed C-137's family, which resulted into C-137 trying to hunt him down, but except those facts confirmed and explained in s6ep1, s7ep3, s7ep5, nothing else was. Not the real meaning of their conversation in the garage, not even the fact of this garage meet-up being the first time they've met, and also not the meaning of Prime's words that he misses it when there were only two of them.

Both Mortys seem to buy everything Evil Morty extracted from C-137's memories (Evil Morty is confident in his tech and Prime Morty is just like that lol), but can we really trust that those memories are intact? What if, just like with Federation, Rick kept main points of events, but changed the details or timeline, that can potentially flip the meaning or change the tone of said events?

The most confusing part in relation to the timeline for me is Prime's slips during his rants: "I do miss when it was just us. The only two Rick's who actually invented portal travel", especially combined with "I showed you infinity".

It makes sense in two possible situations: if Prime showed C-137 the portal tech ("showed you infinity"), offered it, was rejected, left, killed his family and then was actively fucking with C-137 during the first hunt (which can explain the "miss when it was just us" line) OR if Prime showed him the portal tech, C-137, being inspired, also invented the portal travel, and then he and Prime were on friendly terms for some time after that, travelling together or each on their own with random meet-ups, until Prime offered him something else, which C-137 declined. Then everything else followed.

And honestly? IMO, first option doesn't line up. We never saw clones or decoys of Prime during C-137's first hunt in the crybaby backstory, no mocking images of Diane, nothing that could possibly indicate that Prime was actively playing with him. We also see other Ricks owning portal technology during young C-137's run, so there already weren't "just two of us", only in the very beginning maybe. Prime obviously watched C-137 to keep track on him and his whereabouts and shenanigans, but we don't see him making any moves himself, interacting with C-137 in any way. So what's there to miss at all?

Let's look at the second option. What's really interesting about it is how Prime's words "I showed you infinity" can be interpreted in two ways that are not mutually exclusive - as in showing interdimensional travel or showing something entirely else, possibly even bigger. Like something that was supposed to create "Infinite Rick, a GOD", which was mentioned in the 'falce' memory in 03x01 together with another interesting line: "Once we give you this technology, you become the smartest man in the universe". Since we know that Rick uses his own memories to fool people, it's entirely possible that these lines are real, they sound real, like something Prime could say. But.

But how simply owning a technology makes you the smartest man in the universe? The answer is - it doesn't. You just own it. You don't become smarter because you get your hands on a sci-fi tech, unless it alters your own mind/brain to make you smarter, and portal travel doesn't work like that.

This is just a theory based on the altered memory of Rick C-137, but what if Rick Prime wasn't just giving out portal tech, but was actively doing almost the same thing Evil Morty have done - absorbing every possible knowledge of every Rick he encountered, maybe connecting them in some kind of a web instead of killing them, so he could cover his presence not using a Morty, but creating virtual clones of himself everywhere in all those Ricks? Maybe that's what he was tempting C-137 with - infinite knowledge of infinite Rick. Unite every single one of them, make them bigger than the universe, make them THE GOD in every sense possible.

Only that it can cost you everything. Cost you your humanity. Change you ultimately, make you so much above any other being, that it will eventually sound lonely. So Rick C-137 declined.

It's just a random ass theory. But how does it sound?

[aardvaark]

expanding on that post about sophie devereaux backstories, grift ones and real ones and the things in between:

a year or two after they meet, tara and sophie are somewhere near drunk in a hotel room after a con, high heels thrown against the wall, dresses unzipped and halfway off. tara asks for her Story. the Story. and maybe she wouldn’t have asked if she were sober or maybe tara is simply a little too bloody brave sometimes, a little too determined.

so sophie tells her about a father in the military, a mother who died young, a family that moved houses, towns, regions, countries, all the time growing up. about lying to impress kids at every new school. about desperately doing almost anything to fit in for the months or year she’d stay in that area. about sweet talking her way out of a few little crimes here and there, cash that she would certainly never steal from her rich friends’ parents’ wallets, some driving rules she broke when she was too young to even have a license, yet old enough for a cop to encourage her flirting. sophie tells tara that her father died when she was 19, and the grief had led to recklessness. she made a mistake on a too-ballsy grift. she would’ve gone to jail. instead, she faked her death (for the first of many times) and never looked back. it’s the only funeral of hers that she didn’t attend.

and then, tara told her an equally untrue Story in return.

when sophie is duchess charlotte prentiss, her husband william asks far too many questions about her past. of course, charlotte has a Story. all of her aliases have Stories, even the ones she only uses for a day - they all have birthdays, childhood pets, first kisses, people they love. so she tells him that her parents died in a car crash when she was 16 and instead of going into the foster system, the authorities figured she was old enough to become an emancipated minor. she tells him how it was difficult at times, incredible at others, and sad and exciting and embarrassing and bittersweet. she weaves a damn good tale about charlottes life, if she may say so herself - one that’s just painful enough for william to stop asking questions. it works perfectly. but when she tucks astrid into bed that night, and the little girl looks up at her with big round eyes and asks if ‘charlotte’ misses her mummy and daddy and says that she’s sad for ‘charlotte’ because she knows what it’s like to miss a mama… sophie freezes. there’s a lump in her throat and goosebumps on her skin. she blinks down the tears and recovers just enough to fake a smile and kiss astrid’s forehead as she leaves the room. lying has never hurt like this before. it takes all her strength to shut it down, shove the emotions in some tiny box in her head that she simply refuses to acknowledge. she decides, then, that she has to leave this house as soon as possible.

the charlotte Story is one of many that hardison finds. it’s inevitable, when he has to cover all their tracks so thoroughly, that hardison would stumble upon various old aliases. he only learns about the charlotte one from the job in england - there’s no links between her and sophie, but he destroys a decent amount of excess duchess charlotte prentiss information just in case, and then looks for any other mysterious women who happened to pop up or vanish around that time. he notices that there are some things that all of sophie’s aliases share: their parents are dead, they have no siblings, and their life changed dramatically somehow in their mid-to-late teens (usually with those parents’ deaths, or gaining an inheritance, or moving far away). he knows that these are all pretty standard, convenient details for a fake identity. but he wonders, sometimes. couldn’t she have made up dead siblings? estranged but alive parents? a dramatic event in her early childhood or in her twenties? he doesn’t know if the consistent parts mean anything. he doesn’t ask for her Story - not outright, at least. though for the first couple months of knowing her, he does sometimes enquire about little things here and there. did she grow up with sisters, what was her high school like - that sort of stuff. information is his thing, sue him! sometimes sophie just smiles. sometimes she answers, and he eventually learns that her truths, at least, are very much relative. when he decides that she is family - which is pretty early on, to be honest - he also decides not to ask anymore. he destroys old aliases when necessary, but he never reads more than he has to. he loves sophie and that is enough.

eliot never asks anything about her life. not even the innocent, casual, unthinking questions that sophie is used to from other people: where’d you grow up? did you ever have any pets? i always had to share a room with my sister, what about you? eliot clearly avoids asking her any of it. she’s somewhat surprised by that. sure, he’s polite, but he’s also suspicious both by nature and due to certain unfortunate experiences, so she sort of expected him to interrogate her when they first met.

one night, they’re the last two left at nate’s apartment. even nate had gone to bed and left them there, long given up on shooing his team out at appropriate times. sophie’s been drinking tea and flipping through a latvian phrase book to refresh her memory for tomorrow’s grift, and apparently that 90-minute-a-day sleep schedule allows for eliot to be doing one-handed push ups in the living room at this ungodly hour. too tired to retain any more information, sophie studies eliot instead. he’s a straightforward guy. she decides to be straightforward too. she breaks the silence of the apartment and simply asks - is he ever curious about her Story? eliot pauses a moment. looks her in the eye, quiet. doesn’t brush her off gruffly like she thought he might. instead, he asks if she’s ever curious about What He’s Done. that is answer enough for the both of them. they don’t talk for the rest of the night, each going back to their own activities, but the silence isn’t uncomfortable. on the contrary - the mutual understanding ends up solidifying their relationship.

nate isn’t always so intensely careful about his questions like eliot. well, actually, there were many times back in his insurance days that he very much did ask her questions on purpose. and of course, for five years, he asks after her real name. sophie generally thinks of it as a fun game. she smiles at his useless determination and teases him when he comes back from jail. after a while, though, she realizes that the questions about her Story mostly stopped when leverage formed, and stop completely once he proposed. nate never hears any version of her Story. she’s here now, and that’s all he needs or wants to know - just like how sophie is her real name in any way that matters.

the moment that sophie realizes this is the moment she stops caring about the real Story, the burden of the secret and the guilt and shame of keeping it from her newfound family. in that moment, she understands that what happened back then is just a small drop in the ocean, irrelevant to the life she’s built and come to love. she never tells them the story, and she never needs to.

[aiodenhunt]

Morgie is the second parent of the Hook children. (A theory brought to you by someone who is thinking abt this maybe too much)

I know this sounds crazy, In fact this is one of those theories that sound hella crazy at first; but please try to read through this one!

I will start superficial: He shares physical and behavioral traits with his youngest daughter!

Harriet and Harry clearly have Hook’s traits and that is shown by the way they’re described. both Harriet and Harry look a lot like Hook, anyone can see that. Both are mean-spirited (kind of), and kind of sadistic per say, they won’t think twice about it if they have to kill someone, just like Hook.

CJ, on the other hand does not share this characteristics! She does not have Hook’s black hair, She has this blond-almost-brown hair color that she shares with -gasp- Morgie! Her eyes also are more of a light brown, the worst she can do is hold someone hostage (That is being kind in Isle of the lost, alright?) and threaten. We saw that in Wicked world, she didn’t want any world-dominating power, she helped Zevon in his attempt to take over Auradon only because she wanted a boat, not because she wanted to take revenge or power like Zevon did.

Morgie seems to have this characteristics despite being in Uliana’s crew. As he is the one willing to follow orders, the one who tried to help her while she was transforming, he seems to be the ‘kindest’ or non serious out of the fabulous five. Perhaps he is not the most merciful person (“Yeah let’s burn her to a crisp!”) but it’s a start!

This could be a coincidence but, keep on reading!

This specific paragraph

“Most of the time he just barely seemed to tolerate CJ”

Maybe this is a little bit of a reach but, Notice that the paragraph only mentions CJ? The one who looks the most like Morgie?

After a loss, it is common on grieving parents to have a preference on the child who looks the most like the lost spouse, sometimes neglecting the child’s siblings. This could be the case of Hook and his children.

“Maybe Hook only tolerates her because it’s his daughter?”

Yeah but in that case the paragraph would include literally anything else. Like “He just barely seemed to tolerate his children” not just specifically CJ.

“Maybe Harriet and Harry didn’t exist when that was written.” Harry maybe, but when CJ’s book released the D1 novelization (Harriet’s debut) had already came out a year before CJ’s book, so yeah.

Morgie’s relationship with Hook. (And miscellaneous)

I will be honest. I’m not the biggest fan of serpenthook, It’s just not my thing but he does seem to have something with him. They’re always together, they’re always close to each other in Morgie’s 2:40 minutes of screentime, there *could* be something.

“Disney would never show a gay relationship in their movies!!!” -Coughs and points at Lumity and Willow’s dads in the owl house-

I mean I do doubt this will be canon but. Eh, let it be, for the sake of funsies!

“How did those two have children, then?”

Valid question! But like. We live in a world where magic exists. there are mer/octopeople, fairies, a God decided to have a daughter with a sorceress and then spawned another child of his own randomly.

Yzma is OLD. OLD OLD. She is one second away from being a mummy and somehow she had Zevon and Yzla😭 If Chad is the son of Cinderella and Charming and Chloe’s brother then Morgie can be the other dad of the Hook siblings. So we can just shove biology under the rug for this one. Nonetheless if this doesn’t buy you, we can say that Morgie used magic to shapeshift or that he’s trans or so.

We know coincidences are unfortunately very common in the Descendants universe but this seems too weird and specific to be just a coincidence. It feels off.

Why would you throw this guy who is not related to any of the original VK’s for no reason into the movie? We could’ve had Facilier, Gaston, the evil queen or Jafar instead of Morgie.

Why would you introduce him if it isn’t to fill a hole later? Why is he the only one with no blood relation to the Villain Kids?

It makes more sense if he was the other parent of the Hook siblings, as that little hole would be filled.

Where in the world is Morgie Le fay? (And other conclusions)

We really don’t have an answer to that. Maybe his mother’s magic managed to shield him from the magic wand and now he’s hiding, maybe he died in the isle of the lost as it is really hostile there, he isn’t in the list of those who deserve respect. Anything could’ve happened to him.

But more likely, instead of bailing Hook three children after, he is most likely dead or missing unfortunately.

I honestly don’t expect a big reveal out of this not only because the theory is kinda far from being canon, but because the Hook’s are not main characters. They’re not Mal and there won’t be a song about the reveal like they did with Mal and Hades. Maybe it will be just a dialogue or a picture on a frame in Harry’s room.

We should wait and see until the ROR novelization comes out to get more information about him and come to even more crazy conclusions I think, this is just a piece of my thoughts.

I’m okay with most theories and headcanons who try to explain who is the parent of the Hook siblings, I just did this because it made a little sense and the theory reminded me to the ‘Raven is Ruby’s true dad’ theory from the rwby fandom (check it out!!) and because I am so looking for the other parent of those children. I hope this guides whoever needs a bit of an answer, even if the answer is crazy.

Thanks for reading through this madness ^^! Hope you get my point of view uu

[lunarrosette]

Folks have we considered Trudy is not a robot but instead some sort of eldritch horror her husband made or somehow brought about to have the “perfect wife”

[spotsandsilliness]

Bumpy as a human cuz I can

Also Bumpy would wear these earrings and you can't confince me otherwise

[johanna-swann]

Not to hate-post on main, I know other people like him and sympathise with him because of his trauma, but to me the Punisher represents everything I hate in a man and character. Cis-het white military macho man who murders people and thinks himself to be righteous because his wife got fridged. Thank you, but no thank you.

[vermilionsun]

They are both so Mitski coded it hurts my being.

Heavy TWs on this one !

Word count: 1.5k Rating:- Fandom: Touchstarved (Red Spring Studio) Categories: Other Relationships: Mhin/Kuras, Mhin & Kuras Tags: HEAVY ANGST, Mhin-centric, Character study (?), Symbolism, Hurt/Mild comfort, Mentions of Blood & Gore, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (depends on how you look at it tbh), Self-Hatered, Angst with a Happy Ending (surprise! I can do that), Soft Kuras, Smut (a little), Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

"If you come any closer, you'll get hurt."

Mhin had crowned themselves a monster long before the actual entity rooted itself into their soul and bound them with unbreakable chains.

Chains that wrapped around their limbs and choked them. Claws, sharper than blades, marred the area just beneath their skin. Wings that sprouted from their back—a filthy, grotesque sight that sent shivers down the spines of anyone who dared to look upon them. Screams so tumultuously ear-piercing that could shatter glass constantly echoed in their mind.

Despite the constant torment and inner turmoil, Mhin found a twisted sense of comfort in the darkness that engulfed them—a sick kind of solace, a comfort born of morbid familiarity that whispered promises of power in exchange for their humanity. The monster within them thrived on fear and pain, ready to lash out at anyone who dared to come too close or become too entangled in the web of their twisted existence. The monster had become their closest companion, a part of their very being that they could not escape.

It made Mhin want to retreat further into the shadows, to embrace the darkness that consumed them, and to shield themselves from the harsh light of reality. The thought of letting go, of losing that sense of control and sanity, of fully surrendering to the beast within and letting it consume them entirely, horrified them, made them want to gnaw at their own flesh, pick out their feathers one by one until there was nothing left but raw, exposed skin in a desperate attempt to hold on—anything to avoid succumbing to the monster's overwhelming stimulus. Its insatiable hunger for chaos and destruction terrorized them day and night, whispering sweet threats to overtake their mind and leave them as nothing more than a shell of their former self.

The enormous bird wept and wailed in agony, feeling the weight of its own monstrous nature bearing down on it like a heavy burden that could never be lifted. The creature's once majestic wings now hang limp and lifeless, devoid of any semblance of flight—a cruel reminder of the creature's fall from grace. Its piercing cries rang through the arid terrain of Mhin's mind, a haunting dissonance that relayed the tragic fate that had befallen it.

It needed out.

The line between reality and fantasy soon blurred enough so that Mhin couldn't distinguish where one ended and the other began, leaving them trapped in a nightmarish existence of their own making.

And Mhin wanted to pay the debt.

"If you come any closer, you'll get hurt."

Mhin barked, steadying their quivering voice. A feral, wounded dog that kept running on instinct alone. Its eyes held a glimmer of recognition as it dared to reach its paw out to the world tentatively for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

And everything went up to flames. They danced and crackled around them, casting eerie shadows on the now vastly empty landscape as Mhin froze in fear, the hefty collar on their neck sending them tumbling around against their will. The guttural screams had long ceased, replaced by a deafening silence that seemed to suffocate them. That was, until their own emerged from deep within, a fervent cry that echoed through the desolate wasteland where hours ago stood Lovent.

"If you come any closer, you'll get hurt."

They chanted it like a mantra, a warning to all who dared to approach, so much so that it had worn out and lost its bite. So much so, it couldn't keep Kuras away.

So much so, they ended up falling onto white sateen sheets, their vulnerability exposed in the soft glow of the moonlight.

They promised themselves it'd never happen again; they wouldn't slip into superficial pleasures basked in the sinful kindle, sold as a cheap alternative to love.

Yet Kuras seemed otherworldly in the dim light of the bedroom, his golden eyes shining with an intensity that made Mhin's heart race.

Kuras saw beyond the façade of fear and pain, reaching out to touch the broken pieces of their soul with a tenderness that was both foreign and comforting.

Mhin's thoughts were a jumbled mess. They turned their head left and right, their eyes shut tightly, as if trying to wake up from a nightmare. Yet the sensations running through their body were anything but.

Kuras was so deep inside them that Mhin could feel him in their lungs. It hurt; he was bigger than anything they had taken before. Their body trembled underneath him, every nerve ending on fire with a mix of pleasure and agony, their breaths coming in short gasps.

Mhin couldn't understand why.

Why would Kuras risk his reputation and career for someone like Mhin? Why would the man risk his life just to take a look at what Mhin concealed underneath the thin veil of indifference they presented to the world that was threatening to break apart at any moment? Why would he push them to their limits and beyond, unlocking desires and emotions that Mhin had buried deep within themselves?

Mhin mustered the courage to open their eyes. Kuras was looking down on them with a mixture of concern and longing in his eyes, his hand reaching out to gently brush against Mhin's cheek. At that moment, Mhin could swear they saw a bright halo right above the man's head. With trembling hands, they reached out for it, but their bony fingers were met with nothing but air. 

Only then did Mhin realise the man's true nature, yet they couldn't bring themselves to be afraid.

How could they be? 

How could they be afraid of the man who had laid them down so carefully, exposed them so completely that it had made them feel more alive than they had ever felt before? How could they be afraid of the man who, when taking off their clothes, whispered praise along their burning skin, tracing each scar with gentle fingertips and planting soft kisses on every imperfection?

How could Mhin be afraid of Kuras, who worshipped them like a precious work of art, a sacred being, a divine masterpiece of pure beauty, deserving of nothing but adoration and reverence?

Instead, they let their hand fall onto Kuras' head and pulled him in for a kiss.

Their first kiss. This was the first time Mhin had initiated a kiss. It was a leap of faith, dare they say, but one that felt right at that moment. The warmth of Kuras' lips against theirs erased any doubts as he moved his lips carefully against theirs, like they were made out of porcelain—fragile and precious, adjectives that contradicted the rugged exterior Mhin had always projected, and Kuras' frantic thrusts that made jolts of electricity run through their body.

Every touch, every word that left the repentant angel's lips felt like a balm to their wounded soul, healing old wounds and banishing any lingering doubts, taming the malformed dove that had once been consumed by fear and self-loathing.

Mhin moaned the other's name shamelessly, a whispered plea for more of the healing touch that only Kuras could provide, their voice filled with a mixture of longing and relief as they finally allowed themselves to fully surrender to the overwhelming emotions that had been building between them for so long.

In that moment, all barriers and walls came crashing down, leaving them vulnerable but also free in the embrace of the one person who eagerly took hold of the key to their heart before they were able to even consider stopping him.

Mhin held onto him as Kuras nuzzled in their hair, whispering words of comfort, coaxing Mhin into a peaceful sleep unlike any they had ever experienced before. The gentle rhythm of Kuras' heartbeat against Mhin's ear lulled them away, transporting them to a place of serenity they had never known existed. As they drifted off into dreams, a solitary tear slipped from Mhin's tightly shut eyes.

And if Kuras saw any value in Mhin's wretched self,

then

maybe

just maybe

they were worth the risk after all.