#mhin angst

[vermilionsun]

They are both so Mitski coded it hurts my being.

Heavy TWs on this one !

Word count: 1.5k Rating:- Fandom: Touchstarved (Red Spring Studio) Categories: Other Relationships: Mhin/Kuras, Mhin & Kuras Tags: HEAVY ANGST, Mhin-centric, Character study (?), Symbolism, Hurt/Mild comfort, Mentions of Blood & Gore, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (depends on how you look at it tbh), Self-Hatered, Angst with a Happy Ending (surprise! I can do that), Soft Kuras, Smut (a little), Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

"If you come any closer, you'll get hurt."

Mhin had crowned themselves a monster long before the actual entity rooted itself into their soul and bound them with unbreakable chains.

Chains that wrapped around their limbs and choked them. Claws, sharper than blades, marred the area just beneath their skin. Wings that sprouted from their back—a filthy, grotesque sight that sent shivers down the spines of anyone who dared to look upon them. Screams so tumultuously ear-piercing that could shatter glass constantly echoed in their mind.

Despite the constant torment and inner turmoil, Mhin found a twisted sense of comfort in the darkness that engulfed them—a sick kind of solace, a comfort born of morbid familiarity that whispered promises of power in exchange for their humanity. The monster within them thrived on fear and pain, ready to lash out at anyone who dared to come too close or become too entangled in the web of their twisted existence. The monster had become their closest companion, a part of their very being that they could not escape.

It made Mhin want to retreat further into the shadows, to embrace the darkness that consumed them, and to shield themselves from the harsh light of reality. The thought of letting go, of losing that sense of control and sanity, of fully surrendering to the beast within and letting it consume them entirely, horrified them, made them want to gnaw at their own flesh, pick out their feathers one by one until there was nothing left but raw, exposed skin in a desperate attempt to hold on—anything to avoid succumbing to the monster's overwhelming stimulus. Its insatiable hunger for chaos and destruction terrorized them day and night, whispering sweet threats to overtake their mind and leave them as nothing more than a shell of their former self.

The enormous bird wept and wailed in agony, feeling the weight of its own monstrous nature bearing down on it like a heavy burden that could never be lifted. The creature's once majestic wings now hang limp and lifeless, devoid of any semblance of flight—a cruel reminder of the creature's fall from grace. Its piercing cries rang through the arid terrain of Mhin's mind, a haunting dissonance that relayed the tragic fate that had befallen it.

It needed out.

The line between reality and fantasy soon blurred enough so that Mhin couldn't distinguish where one ended and the other began, leaving them trapped in a nightmarish existence of their own making.

And Mhin wanted to pay the debt.

"If you come any closer, you'll get hurt."

Mhin barked, steadying their quivering voice. A feral, wounded dog that kept running on instinct alone. Its eyes held a glimmer of recognition as it dared to reach its paw out to the world tentatively for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

And everything went up to flames. They danced and crackled around them, casting eerie shadows on the now vastly empty landscape as Mhin froze in fear, the hefty collar on their neck sending them tumbling around against their will. The guttural screams had long ceased, replaced by a deafening silence that seemed to suffocate them. That was, until their own emerged from deep within, a fervent cry that echoed through the desolate wasteland where hours ago stood Lovent.

"If you come any closer, you'll get hurt."

They chanted it like a mantra, a warning to all who dared to approach, so much so that it had worn out and lost its bite. So much so, it couldn't keep Kuras away.

So much so, they ended up falling onto white sateen sheets, their vulnerability exposed in the soft glow of the moonlight.

They promised themselves it'd never happen again; they wouldn't slip into superficial pleasures basked in the sinful kindle, sold as a cheap alternative to love.

Yet Kuras seemed otherworldly in the dim light of the bedroom, his golden eyes shining with an intensity that made Mhin's heart race.

Kuras saw beyond the façade of fear and pain, reaching out to touch the broken pieces of their soul with a tenderness that was both foreign and comforting.

Mhin's thoughts were a jumbled mess. They turned their head left and right, their eyes shut tightly, as if trying to wake up from a nightmare. Yet the sensations running through their body were anything but.

Kuras was so deep inside them that Mhin could feel him in their lungs. It hurt; he was bigger than anything they had taken before. Their body trembled underneath him, every nerve ending on fire with a mix of pleasure and agony, their breaths coming in short gasps.

Mhin couldn't understand why.

Why would Kuras risk his reputation and career for someone like Mhin? Why would the man risk his life just to take a look at what Mhin concealed underneath the thin veil of indifference they presented to the world that was threatening to break apart at any moment? Why would he push them to their limits and beyond, unlocking desires and emotions that Mhin had buried deep within themselves?

Mhin mustered the courage to open their eyes. Kuras was looking down on them with a mixture of concern and longing in his eyes, his hand reaching out to gently brush against Mhin's cheek. At that moment, Mhin could swear they saw a bright halo right above the man's head. With trembling hands, they reached out for it, but their bony fingers were met with nothing but air. 

Only then did Mhin realise the man's true nature, yet they couldn't bring themselves to be afraid.

How could they be? 

How could they be afraid of the man who had laid them down so carefully, exposed them so completely that it had made them feel more alive than they had ever felt before? How could they be afraid of the man who, when taking off their clothes, whispered praise along their burning skin, tracing each scar with gentle fingertips and planting soft kisses on every imperfection?

How could Mhin be afraid of Kuras, who worshipped them like a precious work of art, a sacred being, a divine masterpiece of pure beauty, deserving of nothing but adoration and reverence?

Instead, they let their hand fall onto Kuras' head and pulled him in for a kiss.

Their first kiss. This was the first time Mhin had initiated a kiss. It was a leap of faith, dare they say, but one that felt right at that moment. The warmth of Kuras' lips against theirs erased any doubts as he moved his lips carefully against theirs, like they were made out of porcelain—fragile and precious, adjectives that contradicted the rugged exterior Mhin had always projected, and Kuras' frantic thrusts that made jolts of electricity run through their body.

Every touch, every word that left the repentant angel's lips felt like a balm to their wounded soul, healing old wounds and banishing any lingering doubts, taming the malformed dove that had once been consumed by fear and self-loathing.

Mhin moaned the other's name shamelessly, a whispered plea for more of the healing touch that only Kuras could provide, their voice filled with a mixture of longing and relief as they finally allowed themselves to fully surrender to the overwhelming emotions that had been building between them for so long.

In that moment, all barriers and walls came crashing down, leaving them vulnerable but also free in the embrace of the one person who eagerly took hold of the key to their heart before they were able to even consider stopping him.

Mhin held onto him as Kuras nuzzled in their hair, whispering words of comfort, coaxing Mhin into a peaceful sleep unlike any they had ever experienced before. The gentle rhythm of Kuras' heartbeat against Mhin's ear lulled them away, transporting them to a place of serenity they had never known existed. As they drifted off into dreams, a solitary tear slipped from Mhin's tightly shut eyes.

And if Kuras saw any value in Mhin's wretched self,

then

maybe

just maybe

they were worth the risk after all.

[enviousbug2]

Imagine Mhin hates people calling them short because it reminds them too much of past family and friends that teased them for their height before Lovent's fall

[trappolia]

HOUSE OF ERIDIA ── touchstarved x reader, high fantasy au

“Among the monarch's most intimate inner circle was their Master of Whispers (...) sharp and cunning, the mastermind of an intricate network of spies and informants that ran through the high aristocracy within the walls of the palace, down to the most slimy backwaters of the kingdom's outskirts. The truth of LEANDER’s threat, however, laid within his charm (...) it is said that not even his most beloved Eminence trusted him.”

Leander was devoted— as devoted as a man of such skill in less than legal information brokering could be, at least. Often times you wondered whether he was worth trusting; so much information he laid out at your feet like a suitor would bestow upon you with golds and jewels and fine silks, and just as much he kept away from you. Perhaps it was unwise to bestow upon the fickle position of Master of Whispers to a man who shared your bed, but never his own secrets-- or perhaps you thought too much of him. You did, after all, cradle your own secrets to your chest.

“To one such as the monarch, who clung onto their religion as if it were drywood amidst the furious seas, KURAS was a strange sort of salvation in himself (...) rumoured to be otherworldly, golden-eyed and infinitely wise not only in his knowledge of forgotten, they claimed him a lost eldritch being, shunned by the highest deities of the sky. Others said that he was a deity himself. But what deity hid in the shadows of the throne and kissed the feet of the mortal that sat upon it?”

Amidst the fickle serpents' game of politics and war, there was a superficial solace to be found in the religion you were raised in as a child. From that faith, your devotion extended to a gift from the gods laid at your door, the golden-eyed angel that you were not quite sure existed till they bestowed him to you. Strangely enough, he treated you with the same sort of reverence— as an acolyte might to their own deity. Yours was a strange relationship, a push-and-pull of prayer and religious guilt. Both of you hid your unholiness within a facade of worship and idolatry. You did not know why he has come, but you knew he saw you for what you were and bent the knee anyway. Be not afraid, he said. And so you were not, blindly so.

“The paramour was flame-haired and quick of the tongue, an exotic pet that graced the bed of Their Majesty easily enough once lured with the promise of lavish gifts and security (…) VERE traded his ugly iron shackles for a prettier set of golden chains, but he was not so cunning so as to let himself be lured in by the false promises of what he called “these damned monarchs”.”

It was not an uncommon feat for monarchs to take paramours even after marriage, but if the whore picked from the streets of silk was pretty enough, it could warrant the envious whispers of enraged nobles no matter how high a position one may hold within the royal family. Fortunately, Vere played the game of thrones well, you must admit. Of all the lovers and paramours you've taken over the course of your rule, he is the one you have to worry about defending in court the least… though his knowledge and skill holds up a different problem for you entirely. Perhaps your Small Council does speak some truth when they warn you of the lies he could entrap you in…

”THE STRANGER came like death on a misty night in the dead of winter. Who were they? What reason could they have to lurk around the castle halls, to indulge themselves in the benevolence of the monarch of which they did not worship? What did they seek, and why was Their Majesty so eager to offer their aid?”

A ruler as kind and benevolent as yourself was not so arrogant so as to be oblivious to the suffering of the smallfolk. Many called you naïve, too young to carry the burden of the crown, but you have inherited centuries of peace from your parents, and are intent on continuing such tradition. That is, perhaps, the reason why you welcomed MHIN into your palace that night, turning down your council’s suggestions of torturing them — where they’ve came from, why they’ve come, how a commoner possesses a gift for the magic arts. You offer them bread and wine and a place of rest, speaking nothing of how you’ve noticed their eyes flit about— not warily, but searching. It is naïvety then, in your hopes that MHIN finds what you seek in you, despite your sureness that you will one day stand at opposite ends of a looming war.

“Rare was a monarch who did not indulge in illicit affairs, whether it be a matter of simply flesh or true romance— but what transpired between Their Majesty and the creature of Crimson Grotto was so twisted that their story was told as both urban legend and warning even a millennia afterwards. But in the most desperate of times, even the most noble of the gods’ chosen are capable of such sin.”

AIS was already a figure of urban legend when you came to him him, a sopping wet half-adult playing dress up in an oversized crown and velvet robes weighed down by the grimy water that stained its hem. He never did tell you whether the stories you’d heard were true, only confirmed that yes, he is capable of what you beg him for. He thought of you foolish, to make a deal with an eldritch creature — or, at least, the vessel of one — but he realised too late that he’d gone off the deep end with you when it came to this deal. In the end, there was only his hope that they would not liken you, so good and so bright, to the hopeless thing that is whatever is left of him. Or, perhaps, it will be a last mercy to both of you, to be known in history side-by-side, mentioned alongside the other always— like a single entity.

© trappolia 2024

[toxintouch]

I heard it was angst time. CW: MC Death. About the level of graphic (gore/violence) description that is in the source material imo. Be cautious and prioritize taking care of yourself if you are unsure, please. ♡

Mhin can’t find you.

When you don't appear at the scheduled time to discuss the headway you’ve each made individually regarding your mutual goal, they walk away from your agreed-upon rendezvous point with an annoyed huff.

When the next night passes and you still don’t show, they become even more incensed.

It’s not until they head to the Wet Wick and Leander asks them if they’ve seen you that they become concerned.

They look everywhere.

Leander places posters on the corner streets alongside his usual advertisements and soon your likeness is plastered across Lowtown.  Large letters reading: “REWARD” peer down at Mhin reproachfully at every turn as they fruitlessly go about their own search when they can spare the time during their day to day fight for survival.  

Something nags at the back of their mind.  

Guilt, they think.  Self-loathing.  They should have tried to find you that night.

As the days turn into weeks, they give up on Leander’s methods and start asking their own questions. 

They do it under the guise of collecting another bounty, but the genuine, thankful relief they get from Leander, the sorrowful look they receive from Kuras–they're know they're wearing a shallow facade at best.

It leaves a raw taste in their mouth to do so, but they even ask Vere, knowing the fleabag has keen senses which they do not.

Their stomach drops when Vere laughs.  A harsh, cruel thing that has them brandishing their dagger, keen to gut him like a fish where he stands.  He reads their rage easily, assuring them that he’s innocent, that he had nothing to do with your disappearance.

Which is what a Monster would say–but then–

Vere would be at his most honest while gloating, wouldn’t he?  If the truth is a twist of the knife.

He tells them to check their own closet for skeletons.  Tells them to check for Monsters underneath their own bed.

The adrenaline hits them immediately.  They start to sweat and shake and feel nauseous.  For their body, the realization is instantaneous.  In their mind, it comes more slowly.  Like walking through a dream.

They try to reach back in their memory. Try to tug at that nagging thing.

Unspool it until they can determine where the emptiness begins, ends, anything in between.

And then they find it.  They don’t remember it, but they find it.  

In one of their many hidden shelters. The one closest to your rendezvous point–a small lacuna in the side of a crumbling building, a nest built into the flesh.

Spooling trails of entrails and ruined bandages.  Viscera and bones and gore.  Scavengers have gotten to you and contaminated the scene but–

The wounds are unmistakable.  Familiar to them, by now.

The soft parts of you that have been picked at and eaten.

The sinking feeling in their gut expands.  This type of scene doesn’t make Mhin sick anymore but they wish it would.  Wish they could retch and rid themself of this emptiness.  Wish they could expel the vision of you–

The remains of you, laid out before them. 

There’s something almost graceful about your corpse.  As if you’ve been drawn out of a fairy tale, your gruesome demise told as a parable for children.

They try to remember transforming.  Killing you.  

Your last words, if you could make any around the blood gurgling from between your lips like a fountain.

Maybe in the future your fairy tale will have a moral to it.  A reason.  Your death will be more than senseless, another body added to the pile.  

For now Mhin will have to live without that closure.

The grief drips off of them like blood off of black feathers. It can't permeate their defenses, advantages granted to them by an evolution that was not of their own volition. They can already feel their mind warping around their memories of you, dulling them lest they tear themself apart, fall down while climbing up the tower to meet you and dash themselves upon the rocks, sink into the water below and drown beneath the torrent. A younger version of them would chase after the memories, cling to the waning thought of you.

The person they are now lets it happen.

They turn their back, leaving the empty echos behind.

Bad Ending : "Reward"

[tassqueen]

We're truly lacking on Mhin angst! Where are the skilled writes at? We need Sad tragic traumatizing mhin angst 😭🙏😩

No joking though we're really lacking on Mhin content in general 😭

[n--n]

You know the saddest thing abt Mhin is that they keep their distance from everyone bc they’re scared they’ll get hurt but given all of the others are monsters both literally and metaphorically they’re technically dodging like a ton of bullets

[fruityfroggy]

Genuine question, is making playlists for characters you desperately need like a lot a normal coping mechanism?

[miqojak]

That feel when every LI in a game is basically just a half-step away from being every OC you've made. Mhin here is so similar to Jak that it's eery - a small, paranoid badass who has a secret, hidden inner monster? Except once again, it's like a grab-bag of my OCs was shaken up together, and Vere got Jak's many-eyed canine motifs; the Beast. (I guess I get why so many people saw Jak as a 'love interest' now, but much like Mhin... it's nigh impossible to get close to her. It's more likely you meet her knives, first.) That said, being able to be from a street criminal background and pursue a dangerous demon man is basically the RP I did on Jak over the span of a couple years - with Ketsuchi even being called 'the Demon' long before she met him... but his fearful moniker and domineering manner didn't dissuade my own OC in her pursuit of knowledge that eventually led to much pain, and angst... and the two of them forming a deep bond of trust over time... 'monsters' or not.

So any game that lets me scratch a similar itch? That writes a story so edgy and angsty and similar to my own that it's practically like it's practically an AU straight out of my own mind? Yes, take all my money.

(Their campaign just ended on Kickstarter! But don't you worry, there's plenty of time to get in on the action.)

"People are only friendly when they want something from you."

As an introvert, Mhin avoids socializing unless absolutely necessary 🔪 It's a miracle they opened up to Kuras at all!

[vermilionsun]

This is a gift for @tassqueen - "We need Sad tragic traumatizing mhin angst" ;) Blame them /j

Mhin

🕊 Please, please, please

🕊 Darlin' don't threaten me with a good time

🕊 A heart's catalyst

🕊 Limbs exchanged for leaves

🕊 The rain doesn't scare me (and neither do your tears)

🕊 Costumer Service

🕊 Erase my birth, forget the date

🕊 I'll worship your sins (just set me free)

🕊 To kill a (mocking)bird

🕊 Ingénu

🕊 As a hunter

🕊 The child of love

[slightly-warmer-hibiscus-tea]

Mhin with a crow 🐦‍⬛

Honestly couldn’t decide if this should have been angst instead but I hope this is fine^^;

[enviousbug2]

I'm so curious to how the other LIs would have reacted to Vere killing off the MC

Like, I think at that point in the story some of them already held an obvious or shown amount of affection for MC (re: Leander and Ais iirc). How badly would they take the news? Considering how things went when MC resisted, would Leander be the one to find their body since he was already looking for them? The angst potential is so there.

everytime I think about it my artist brain supplies images of how Ais would pull a bored Vere in by the shirt with an angry, conflicted face, and Leander right by his side yelling asking for answers. Mhin and Kuras would be on the sidelines maybe, Mhin with quiet anger and Kuras just feeling disappointed.

The thought is still really unpolished and could use some work, but I'm letting my mind cook😭‼️

[eggroll-sama]

Ok so to explain each one:

Kuras has this resignation to him that understands every human life is finite. A human lover to him is like a side character in a singular chapter of a book compared to him being the secondary protagonist in theirs. He treasures every experience and memory he’s made but it always ends the same for him, therefore as much as it hurts it’s unlikely for you to be his everything, not forever at least.

Leander can make almost anyone feel seen and special. He’s charismatic, fun, and a person a lot can look up to. But though he might make you feel special, it’s unlikely you actually are so special to him. Leander’s friendly facade comes with his experience being the leader of the Bloodhounds for so many years. He’s developed skills handling all kinds of people and knows what to say or do to win someone over. He understands that building human connection and trust is a good way to get what he wants in the end. So don’t cry if he pulls the rug under you, making you question if anything was real. It’s just business.

It takes much effort to get past Mhin’s wall, but once they do open up, you can bet that they have your back. They’re one of the most loyal and supportive people you can ask for. Mhin pushes people away as a defense mechanism but inside they’re hurting and longing for companionship. Someone to stargaze with, to cuddle next to after a long day of work. That’s why when the relationship ends, it would take so long for Mhin to move on. You may be the only one they’ll ever date. A lot of sleepless nights thinking about you and being in your embrace. You leaving them will fuel their own self-hatred and their previous notion that they’d never be able to find love because who can love a monster like them

Some people might question why Vere isn’t in the “wonderful experience” category, and in some cases he is. But reason why I put him in “you were everything” is bc when he falls for someone, he falls hard. He’s kind of like Mhin, where he’s difficult to gain trust at first, but it’s because of his pride and avoiding vulnerability. Vere likes to feel in control of himself. Vere likes to be admired. He wants to be loved for who he really is. If in any situation where you break up, expect it not being pretty. He would say nasty things “Was this your plan all along? To make me feel special and cast me aside? I should’ve known.” “I’m honestly glad you’re breaking things off with me, you were getting boring and an eyesore.” It doesn’t matter if you have a good reason for going separate ways. He’s bitter and hurt. He hates you for making him feel this way. He still loves you. But this he’ll never admit and take to his grave, which will be his undoing.

On the outside, Ais is a violent gangster, a social outcast. He’s slept with many people, sometimes visits the brothel an old friend of his runs. But really, Ais wants to make a love connection with someone. Someone that challenges him, is interesting, and loves him, flaws and all. But it’s difficult to love someone like him, especially when he has an eldritch entity living inside of him, and the Seaspring to guard. So when he likes someone and they like him back, he’s over the moon. You are his peace from all the hectic things he has to deal with. If the relationship ends, he will respect their wishes and let them go. It’s their choice, after all. He ignores the voices in his head that are telling him to be more selfish. He hopes to eventually move on, and he probably would, but sometimes he’d remember memories with you and it tears at his heart.

You were a wonderful experience: Kuras, Leander

You were… everything: Mhin, Vere, Ais

[westbifire]

I love fluff as much as the next person, but where is all the angst

Like i want to see Mhin go too far, Kuras do some sketchy stuff in the name of knowledge, Ais turn on Mc , Vere project the Senobiums actions on to all humans, Leander kill Mc to make sure they can't ever leave him

[mysilaan]

What type of person do you think the LIs would fall head over heels for? Touchstarved please!

Hello Anon!! I must admit that I haven't given the subject much thought before your question and it was quite hard to imagine because I don’t think they have any ‘ideal type’. I even asked @dreamtydraw about it to have someone else's opinion (I’m literally basing Mhin’s answer on hers because I had none before and I agree with her, HAHA HELLO) but we both agreed that we have so little information about the LIs that it’s almost impossible… 

BUT, I tried and here is what I’m thinking!

Hope I answered right despite all the blur around Touchstarved lore… I'm definitely better at writing angst about those guys I promise 😞

__

TOUCHSTARVED HEADCANONS 🍒

⭐

Kuras: To me Kuras doesn’t like nosy people and being asked too insistently to talk about things he wants to keep secret. So I think that someone who gives him space and privacy when he needs, is most likely someone Kuras will grow fond of. I think that he is attached to the notion of ‘mutual trust’, so as long as you trust him and don’t pry too much into his secrets he might show you what's closest to love for him… With his demeanor, it’s hard to imagine him falling head over heels for someone, he’d probably show his affection with quality time. Leander: Might be one of the most toxic amongst the LIs… Sorry… I think that like Kuras,   he’d love someone who doesn’t put their nose in his business and doesn’t ask too many questions. But -apart from his sexual life- he loves to be in control. From what we have seen of him, he might be interested in anyone who slightly catches his interests and is easily manipulated into being completely dependent on him. Nonetheless, as fucked up as he is, I’m sure he would fall head over heels for someone who dominates him instead of being another puppet. (He might moan if you call him garbage) Vere: This one is a mystery… He doesn’t like anyone except for Ais, so it’s kind of hard to tell yet… Maybe someone as fucked up as him (if not more)? God knows best my friend. Mhin: They are quite hard to understand because they didn’t show anything more than animosity yet but… I feel like Mhin would fall in love with someone deeply kind. They don't really like anyone except for Kuras, and it makes me think that even if Kuras isn’t what we can call ‘kind’ he at least seems to have no bad intentions in whatever he is doing, which might be a factor for Mhin’s appreciation of his person. Also, I remember that during the game, when you make them notice that they’re quite mean to you, they flutter a bit. Mhin is really a kind soul, I’m convinced about it, they may be antipathetic but they for sure appreciate good people. Ais: He can definitely fall in love with someone very self-assured, someone who knows what they want. Ais may give off the vibes of a ‘bad boy’ but he is one of the most well intentioned LIs for me. Bonus if you’re as freaky and teasing than him 🫡

[6okuto]

Could i have the same headcanon of falling in love but for Mhin? Thank you 🙏 😭

MHIN FALLING IN LOVE

gn!reader | mhin time! >____< lots of mhin fans here... awesome world. in case anyone is wondering yes i do have vere in my drafts. meowww

predictably, a slowburn with angst.

hard to get to know, not because they aren't predictable, or because they're incredibly hard to read, but because they're Fawking persistent when it comes to keeping their guard up. which means you have to be even More persistent. an absurd cycle. but you can get there. You will get there.

i think something that slowly takes down(?) mhin's walls would be showing interest in them past working together and their secrets. asking something more mundane like what their favourite season or meal is, what kind of music they like, if they enjoy rain. they're wary to answer because ?? why are you asking. why are you being weird. but they realize it's nice to think of something else about themself other than being a monstrosity. wow. ow

^ and then maybe doing something with their answer! going out of your way to buy some sweets for them, asking if they're okay when it's super cold/hot because they mentioned not enjoying it. something they've forgotten you even know. it also makes them wonder what your answers would be. the first time mhin manages to ask "what's yours?" is !!!! woah!

another moment might be choosing to be sincere when you could've teased them for something. they give you a look (honestly more often than not, mhin's first reaction is always wary confusion/denial), and you promise you're telling the truth. and they might not thank you or anything, but it sticks in the back of their head while they try to ignore how flustered they feel.

another Little moment might be you catching them off guard by like. being mean. they've gotten used to you pestering and following them. they've gotten used to your list of questions and times where you're walking quietly. neither of you have spoken in 5 minutes, and they're rolling their eyes, thinking to themself "what an asshole" about some guy arguing with a server, and then you mutter "what a fucking asshole" out loud. and they just look at you like ?. and you look back like ?? like i'm wrong. and mhin can't help but snicker or scoff.

when they realize what's going on (waiting for you to find them, looking for you, enjoying your company, etc), mhin starts avoiding you like the plague. all that time learning your schedule/habits has made it easy to avoid you (until you realize what's going on, at least). even places that they enjoyed for themself, they time things so you don't cross paths. it's honestly impressive LOL

they kind of hate it though. they miss you. they tell themself they don't, but they do. yeah they avoid you, but you know, if you both happen to be shopping, they might trail you and notice how you're buying ingredients for your favourite dessert, or how your eyes linger on a necklace before moving on. they just happen to be taking a similar path as you, and it's not like they want something bad to happen, so it makes sense to watch out, even now.

i'm picturing a confrontation where they try to deny avoiding you, then say they're doing it for a reason... and then you ask what this is, what anything meant, if anything. and mhin thinks they've dug themself a grave already and tell you it was nothing, a mistake, you should go home.

and you can either wait for a second confrontation, or call out their bullshit there—they're a liar but it's obvious to you, so what's actually going on? and tension rises and you push a little further until they finally tell you of course they care about you! and their voice might break a little because they don't speak loudly often, and their words dawn on them and they purse their lips—that's why they're trying to stay away.

something something don't push me away, i won't let you push me away, the significance of promising to stay with them, to work through things together and not leaving them alone, of seeing them as something else other than a monster, of seeing them as mhin.

mhin falls in love with your kindness, your open heart that warms theirs until it remembers spring. not just in the way you help them, but the kindness you show yourself, the people around you, your friends. they fall in love with watching you see the world in a way they hope to one day.

they fall in love with someone who perseveres when things get hard, but reminds the both of them that pushing too much or isolating yourself won't help. they'll stand at your desk and watch until you put your things away, or frown when they find you asleep outside of bed, and they know you'll do the same with them. they believe you'll get better at this together

mhin falling in love is pushing themself out of their comfort zone and doing their best to speak, even and especially when they can't think of what to say. it's them finding you in a bad mood and getting you food and offering to listen if you need to vent. it's them opening up and being vulnerable about their past that still hurts them, letting you reach for their hand or hold them when all they can think is that they don't deserve it.

i've mentioned this before but in an established relationship, mhin is softer but...not? they're comfortable to the point that they enjoy when you rest your head on their shoulder, but also enjoy making fun of you and laughing afterward. they don't have to be cold or walled off!! you're getting the real mhin, all sides included!

in general, they aren't a very touchy person. whether this is because they're not used to it or actually don't enjoy it is up in the air in my head. either way, it makes moments of physical touch a little more special! leaning against you when they're tired, reaching for your hand in crowds, letting you tie or play with their hair, etc.

the first time mhin kisses you, you're asleep. it's just a little one on the forehead as they pull the blanket up a little higher. and they keep doing it, because maybe it'll make it easier for when you wake up. they don't realize that you've been awake for the past 3 kisses as you pretend to fall asleep.

they let you watch them do experiments, and if it's up your alley, will listen to your thoughts and suggestions! feel honoured because it isn't a place, or thing that they let just anyone see! even if you aren't very science-y, feel free to give your opinion. maybe something will click in their head, y'know. or just be like, what if you mix red and white to make pink. and watch mhin stare at you like. How did you pick the two that'd be the Worst possible combination. like okay sorry i like pretty colours woah /lh

saying i love you.... i think they'd try really hard. you've helped them so much and they really do care, even if they're scared to say they love you, they know they do, they don't know what else this could be. there's a few times you catch them staring at you weirdly focused, and they're making a face with scrunched brows and pouting lips, and you're like. What is happening. and they chicken out. and get angry at themself for a while.

it kind depends on you, of course, and what kind of person you are. if you're someone who says it easily but never pushes them to say it, they feel grateful but guilty. if both of you keep dancing around it, a little anxiety and insecurity creeps back in when they don't want it to.

it's kind of a big deal for them, so the first time you say it is at the same time. not like Simultaneously saying it, but the same. ...day. at least. LOL. although if they're the one to say it first (somehow??) and you don't say it back until later that night because ?? shock? processing? nervous excitement? they Will be having a rough time dealing with themself, even while they repeat over and over that you deserve time, too, and it's okay, and they shouldn't overthink, etc etc.

mhin is So visibly relieved when you say it back. "were you worried?" "no?" < their head was a cacophony of 27 ambulances and noisy garbage compactors

grahhh i forgot to make a new tag list form. friends. I will make one eventually. but u r still here 4 now. kyaaa | @screaming-wea-sel @semifilms @cvhenia @mitskiologist @leiiii-i @sweet-milky-tea705 @khalixvitae

[themoonisbeautifulisnt-it]

OH MY GOD?

and mc looking back at them for a spilt second in fear, panic and definitely betrayal. weakly grabbing on to mhin to instinctively fight back but knowing mhin they would stab mc that the death would be as quick possible.

mc’s fearful eyes wide and glossy that would turn dull once they finally stop struggling and lay there limp would haunt mhin for the rest of their days

probably adding on to another one of their regrets in their life that they constantly and futilely try to convince themselves was for the “better”

If mhin doesnt stab us somberly in bitterness while embracing us as they let us down to the ground gently while they bite back tears and then scream in total anguish whats the point. Or the reverse